#kenz rambles

[dntaewithluv]

Update 💜

Hi everyone, I hope you've all been doing well. I just wanted to come on here and give a quick update about me and my writing. I am in the process of doing some serious mental and emotional healing and recovery after basically hitting rock bottom a little over a month ago. Writing has really been an uphill battle for me for a while now and I honestly kinda lost my passion and love for it briefly because I was so focused on needing to write rather than wanting to write. I'm trying to get back to a point where writing is enjoyable again and I feel like I'm writing for me. Along with that, I'm trying to follow inspiration when it strikes and jump on any opportunity I genuinely feel like writing. That being said, I can't say for sure what will be next for me writing wise, but I do wanna let you know that I haven't forgotten about or abandoned any of my WIPs (Wanted, Risk It!, etc) and I do still hope to come back to and finish those ideas. I'm not really on a hiatus cause I am still writing, but I just can't really promise any specific fics at the moment. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this and also to everyone for being patient with me. Your love and support means more than you will ever know. Please look forward to more stories from me in the future and thank you all again 💜

-Kenz

#dntaewithluv update #writing update #kenz rambles #sorry for disappearing 😭 #gonna try to be on here again more 🥺

[buckleyhans]

I give each of my mutuals a tag with an emoji if you wanna change your emoji let me know! Check the tags to see your tag <3

#rambles #liz tag 🌷 #maddie tag 🪻 #britt tag 🦕 #julia tag ☕️ #m tag 💫 #jack tag 🌙 #alex tag 🌠 #laura tag 🩷 #em tag 🫶 #spl tag 🌸 #aj tag 🌈 #krys tag 🌻 #k tag 🧁 #kenz tag ⭐️ #jamie tag 🔮 #dawn tag 🪷

[bibuddie]

@wandiinha @may-grant are both BANNED from the BUCK ‼️ chat for crimes against humanity (taping ryliver pics to their head and kissing and calling it buddie canon) i’m taking apps for new friends

#rebecca rambles #bia tag #kenz tag #buck !! tag

[adriennejosephines]

desperately need to travel or do something to get out of this rut i’m in. it’s been this way since starting my job in august. i feel restless and like a bird with its wings clipped. i miss doing fun and creative projects. i miss who i used to be before i had to watch everything i said/posted in fear of outspoken parents trying to get me fired. i miss feeling like i have a purpose. i’m tired of toeing an unspoken line with my family and never really being be. i miss when i thought i had a great future ahead; not being stuck in a career that gets defunded more and more each year and criticized heavily. i miss me.

#late night ramblings with kenz

[steampoweredbrainrot]

here's a peek of what Kenz looks like in the SPG AU! :) they're only like...18 in this lol. They had just graduated when she went to work for the Walters so!!

thank you for choosing....Angsty Feline!

#spg oc #spg fan character #spg #steam powered ramblings #i feel like they also become Peter 6th's apprentice too when they join the band :) #i'll flesh that more in the fic haha. just wanted to show how angsty kenz was in the humble beginning <3

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

Alludes to Miguel bring depressed, usage of alcohol.

Thinking about heartbroken baby daddy!Miguel O’Hara who spent the next week rotting in bed whenever he could, curtains drawn shut and sad music playing from his phone as he scrolled through all your old photos together. Feeling exactly how he did when you two had split 9 years ago.

Heartbroken baby daddy!Miguel who started to reply the last 12 years over and over in his head, from the moment he sat next to you during his first science lecture to the moment he found himself in front of your front door in an attempt to ask for a second chance only to find out it’s too late form the smirk on your new boyfriend’s face. To the point of him getting distracted during everyday activities, like over serving his coffee and sitting at a greenlight until someone honked at him.

Heartbroken baby daddy!Miguel who starts to have trouble keeping up with his physical appearance. The same man who could get the asscrack of dawn to go on a run or to the gym, always clean shaved, hair always slicked back, never in his pjs unless need be, started to walk around with a 5 o'clock shadow, starts to drop off or pick his daughter up in his sweatpants and tank top he sleeps in, eyes more sunken in they they usually are.

Heartbroken baby daddy!Miguel who has a silent breakdown everytime you post something while out on a date with your new boyfriend.having to grip his phone so hard to the point his knuckles turn white to stop himself from bursting into tears while Gabriella is eating dinner in the next room.

Heartbroken baby daddy!Miguel who had a few too many drinks while Gabri was at a sleepover, calling up first his younger brother then his best friend. Rambling about how he should have seen the signs sooner, how he should have never let you go in the first place, because now you were in the arms of another man, and considering that it’s been over 3 months it looks like he’s there to stay.

Heartbroken baby daddy!Miguel who thought he was hallucinating from drinking too much when you showed up at his place at 11:30 at night

—

“I-I just, if… if I knew that I still loved-“ he interrupted himself to hiccup before continuing to speak to Peter over his phone, placing down another empty beer bottle on his living room coffee table. “I still loved her, I wouldn’t have let-let her get a new boyfriend in the first place ya know?” He slurred, hearing Peter’s response but none of the words registering. His mind calmed from the temporary haze the alcohol provided.

Knock knock.

Miguel rolled his eyes with a groan as he slowly got up from his seat on the couch. “I thought I told you I didn’t need you to come over Peter.” Miguel said as he grabbed the empty bottles and quickly placed them in the kitchen, his friend on the phone expressing his confusion as Miguel made his way to the front door with his phone between his shoulder and ear.

“Huh? I’m not at your door-“ The rest of the sentence turned into background static, not noticing Peter’s calls for him and asking if he was listening. Miguel was too busy being in shock. He blinked once, twice.

You were still there.

Bloodshot eyes, runny nose, rosey and tear stained cheeks, your shoulders shaking a bit as you hugged yourself. He didn’t even get a chance to ask what was wrong before you spoke.

“Can I come in?” You croaked, throat tense as you attempted to keep your voice from wavering.

He opened the door wider.

—

Part 4<

Part 5.5<

Not proofread.

Word count: 600

Taglist: @ginnysculture @mishaglass @wusyanamee @mangoslushcrush @queerponcho @bunnibitez @miguelzslvtz @migueloharastruelove @dahehow @sinners-98-world @othersideoftheparadise @toyfortoji @yeshajane @yvesbi @strawberryjuice9 @hanjisgf @deljojeisbackagain @safixiovi @emmalandry @maxinemus3 @lauraolar14 @aaaaslaaaan @kenz-ee @esmedelacroix @whattheshock @lauraolar14 @migueloharasoulmate @famouscattale @loser-alert @maomaimao @syler-griffin @comeonatmebruh @xwonderlandresidentx @m4dyy @mcmiracles @the-pan-liquid @lilbrababe99 @jxstanemo @badbitchhour @freehentai @sillysillygoofygoose @nj452896 @jadeloverxd @faretheeoscar @miguelsfavwife @ce3stvu @scorpihoooe @blossomofbismuths

#miguel o hara fanfic #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara au #spiderman 2099 x reader #astv miguel #astv spiderman 2099 #miguel spiderverse #miguel ohara spiderman #miguel fanfic #miguel ohara #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel spiderman #miguel x reader #atsv miguel #miguel o’hara drabble #míguel O’Hara blurb #miguel o hara x reader #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel ohara blurb #Miguel ohara blurbs #miguel o’hara blurbs #spiderman 2099 fanfic #spiderman 2099 #bd!miguel #baby daddy!miguel

[spaceumbredoggos]

However fucked up Alex reveals Bill and Ford’s relationship is revealed to be in The Book Of Bill, Kenz and Bill’s is a hundred times worse.

Disclaimer: I am not glorifying abuse in any way shape or form. I myself have had nightmares similar to this despite never being sexually abused, both Bill related and otherwise. Some of these are based on personal experience (such as the nightmares), whilst others are a device used to show how fucked up shipping Bill with pretty much anyone is. Not even the Axolotl is safe in my opinion. If Bill was real, I’d guarantee he’d probably be a massive creep and with how thirsty his fankids are (and I’m calling myself out here) he’d probably use his magic to g*oom those kids like a church pastor. The thing that scares me the most about Bill being canonically real is not that he could catastrophically end the world, it’s his oversexualization in the fandom that got so bad, Alex himself had to make him unattractive. This will be along the lines of a Yandere Bill Cipher x Reader headcanons. With that being said, here’s a few content warnings:

G*ooming, Pedoph*lia, s*xual abuse and assault, physical and psychological abuse, mind control, cult-like things, psychosis, and general paranoia. I’m not saying these things actually happened, but knowing Bill’s character and his powers and history, if he was real, I’d generally be afraid for anyone in the Gravity Falls fandom. Especially minors.

This could be my most controversial post yet, and it could jeopardize any potential of getting into some colleges. This may sound like paranoid rambling, but I know that Bill is just a cartoon character. That being said, Alex like the blur the line between our world and the world of gravity falls with Bill’s character, dicing around the fact that he’s influenced history and wrote all religion on the basis of a lie. I’m not scapegoating him as “controlling global politics on a massive scale” because that would be stupid and I’ll sound like those tin foil hat rednecks that snort moonshine and burn pride flags. My heart goes out to all those who have been impacted by all forms of abuse as an abuse survivor myself. Alex, if you see this post (or any other of my posts/ read my fanfics), just know that it’s a critique on the fandom and the canon lore, and a cautionary warning to avoid lawsuits in case The Book of Bill Cipher causes mass psychosis.

As a kid (ages 7-9) I would watch Gravity Falls casually. At that age, the only thing I consumed online content wise was Skylanders and Minecraft content (Skylanders until age nine, then it was pretty much a lot of Team Crafted, Popularmmos, DanTDM, and other Minecraft YouTubers.) I didn’t invest in the Gravity Falls fandom until I was eleven (that’s when I first started writing my fanfics. The drafts are long gone because they were on school computers that were crammed with viruses due to kids installing Minecraft mods (this was just before chromebooks became mainstream. I went to a special ed middle school specifically for autistic individuals (it was pretty ableist, gonna make a post on that.) so the rules on what was allowed in school were pretty loose content wise. It didn’t have to be educational, as long as it didn’t have blood or guns. There were no safe search filters or Go Guardian (I remember one of my friends accidentally finding Iris from Pokemon black and white vore. I also found Pacifica vore.)) Before that, the February before my tenth birthday, my dad took my TV out of my room due to behavioral issues (undiagnosed autism go brrr). Around that time, there was talk in my town that the Disney channel was “rotting kids minds” with bad attitudes and crude humor (this could be said about any child’s television network (I mean, look at Nickelodeon.) but I lived in a pretty conservative area of Southern California and had a pretty conservative dad. So naturally, Disney was the scapegoat (this was way before the “woke” era of Disney.)) All of this talk of Brainrot made me stop watching the Disney channel during the peak era of gravity falls (2015 as a whole) and I didn’t watch gravity falls again until summer of 2016 when my tv was put back in my room (with intense parental controls so that I couldn’t watch my vet shows.) That’s when I had my first gravity falls dream about Bill cipher. It had to do with getting unicorn hair to protect my house from Bill Cipher. I had an interest in dreams previously due to warrior cats. It was at that moment when Gravity Falls was added to the obsession list.

As a neurodivergent eleven year old surrounded by other neurodivergent preteens and teens, we found common ground talking about Gravity Falls at school. I also would, whenever I didn’t feel the prying eyes of the grown ups or my peers would go off outside and act out my gravity falls x pokemon x warrior cats fanfiction (I’m not sure if those are signs of maladaptive daydreaming disorder or I simply had an intense imagination that would consume my body and make me want to just act out my fanfictions outside. I don’t do this anymore, mostly because of my own embarrassment and I can just write it out.) Yes, there were times where the discussion or action played out Bill Cipher being real. A lot of my “play” as I called it back then was me being kidnapped or possessed by Bill. I even wrote some really cringey fanfics involving my friends and Bill Cipher. To this day, I still involve my family in my fanfiction, but more final drafts will have their names changed. Weirdmaggeddon was a common topic, as well as Bill Cipher possession.

As time went on, I had more dreams about Bill Cipher, fueling the obsession and the fact that Bill could be real. During my middle school years, I never had a crush on Bill Cipher, despite what my friends seem to think. My parents just took it as whatever and as long as I was happy and just working towards going to a neurotypical non-sped school. My crush on Bill Cipher didn’t start until I was in high school. I remember it specifically being Valentine’s Day 2020 when I learned that I have a crush on the triangle. My dreams of Bill would only get more frequent and worse from here (involving the typical horny teenage dream that I don’t want to elaborate because I feel weird doing so (you’ll see why later on.))

Now there’s typically nothing wrong with having a cartoon crush. Given any other cartoon character that doesn’t have a canon history of influencing this world (Bill’s history of influence is vague but it still counts) I would excuse this as another silly cartoon crush like PurpleCliffe simping for Cynthia and the like. However, given that it’s in the show’s canon that Bill could be real and he crossed over to our world, do you understand what implications this could have? Bill is trillions of years old, he’s likely seen every timeline to ever exist. Meanwhile, there are whole armies of fankids who are down bad for him (including me.)

Notice how when I first started getting into Gravity Falls that I didn’t have a crush on him. How many other fankids felt the same way? It wasn’t until years of obsessing over Gravity Falls did I develop feelings for him. And of Alex says in the Book of Bill Cipher what I think he’s going to say (that Bill probably ab*sed Ford sexually with possible g*ooming involved), notice the pattern that is being presented here? Alex, if you blur the lines between fiction and reality with a villain who may or may not have canonically g*oomed and abused someone, possibly using mind control given his powers and his role as a dream demon, could it really be so far fetched that… (I’m not going to say it because it’s leaving a sour taste in my mouth, but use your imagination.)

If we take Alex’s word that Bill has crossed over to our world, then we can only assume that there are vulnerable kids and adults being… You get the picture. I’m not explicitly saying that it is happening right now, but this is problematic because revealing that Bill ab*sed Ford in that way means that Alex would probably imply that Bill is doing the same to MINORS. I may sound paranoid and this may just be a ramble, but considering the show’s canon and how mythology is filled with cases of degenerative acts from deities, this is a really fucked up situation.

It may be funny to say “haha, evil triangle man is sexy” but at the end of the day, Alex stated that Bill has crossed over into our world. For all we know, he could be taking advantage of the fact that people thirst for him, probably not in pleasant ways.

#gravity falls #bill cipher #the book of bill #ford pines #tw abuse #tw grooming #Alex Hirsch #bill cipher x reader #is bill cipher real #I may overly psychoanalyse myself for the sake of making a statement #but what if #this took me a day to write #don’t cancel me #hear me out

[st4rlightsz]

My dearest Zhongli,

We’ve known each other for almost 2 years now and I remember first meeting you and finding out that you were the geo archon not only was I blessed by your presence but I grew to love you not only as the lord of geo but as you you’re little quirks wether it be forgetting your mora or just your innocent historical ramblings or stories I fell for you

and through that i fell for another man a real man and with that came the beginning and end of my first real relationship and you were there before and are here now after it through my tears and my downward spirals.

I’m having another one of those sleepless crying nights where all I can do is think of him and know there’s nothing I can do to fix the situation all I can wish for and know is that I have your love and kindness to look forward to and I’m so grateful to have you in my life

I wish you could hold me and tell me everything was gonna be okay. So many people have told me you’ll find someone else their out there but this was so real so surreal and it doesn’t help that my mom constantly blames me for the relationship ending even tho he cried telling me that it wasn’t my fault cause he knows where my brain goes(he knew me that well although the relationship was only 9 months) we cried for two hours that night

Regardless my point is I’m so grateful for you and wish you were here with me

Love Kenz

Ps this was so long I’m so sorry

*picture from pinterest!*

My dearest Kenz,

I am honored by your letter. You're a very strong person. I really care about you. You can do anything. Everything that happened is not your fault. You must know that in life you will have many fights during which you will probably feel weak or that it is your fault. However, you are strong, beautiful and I believe that you can handle anything. I love you Kenz. With all my heart. Imagine that your soulmate is somewhere and the universe really wants you to meet each other. It's your person. You deserve the best. And only the best. So please don't shed tears. Show everyone how strong you are. I will always be with you. In every difficult moment.

Your Zhongli ♡

#roleplay #genshin impact #genshin impact x y/n #genshin impact roleplay #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #zhongli #zhongli roleplay #zhongli x reader #zhongli x you #genshin impact zhongli

[thefloorisbalaclava]

I just wanted to throw my two cents in if it matters for anything, in regards to both your blogs and all that.

I feel like while yes having two blogs is probably quite a bit more hassle, I also think it’s kind of like the best of both worlds in a way. You can write whatever the fuck you want, however filthy or sweet or silly you want on your private blog, and keep the more tame stuff, or requests if you wanted to do that ever again, on this main blog. It’s like those choose your own path games lol the ‘you are the master of your own fate’ bullshit.

You have the power to separate your writing while still sharing it all, and having it a little more streamlined towards the people that would appreciate both or either.

Personally, I hope you don’t delete this blog, as the fics you’ve written here are very near and dear to my heart (the ones I’ve read at least, there’s literally so many more) but it is 1000% your own choice. Your mental health and well-being is more important than us reading fics.

I know I rambled, I’m sorry lol, my brain is scrampled eggs after school but yeah. So many of us adore you and want what’s best for you! Okay bye 😅

Thanks for this Kenz! I'm most likely gonna keep this blog because this is where most of my friends are and, like you mentioned, most of my fics are here. I just get really sad sometimes and I don't think clearly when I'm upset but all the messages I've gotten have helped clear my mind a bit.

#cass answers #asthepheonixrises

[starry-hughes]

i know, i’ve talked to kenz a lot about things and i just want to write and i can’t always find the words to say :/

i’m going to ramble, fair warning. this is mostly from my experience with grief, but if it helps you, then that’s all i can hope for.

the time period in my life following the loss was probably the lowest i’ve ever gotten.

things are going to be hard for a long time babe. you may go for months and think you’re okay. then the second you smell a perfume, see a sign, a picture, etc., then you get sad again.

allow yourself to feel that. don’t force yourself to move on just just because life has to go on.

you lost someone. if anyone has the expectation that you immediately go back to yourself, then tell them to get fucked.

eventually it gets a little easier. but unless you allow the grieving process to happen naturally, the process won’t be easy. i know i certainly didn’t- i forced myself to get over it, because life was still happening. and to avoid dumping anymore than i already have, to put it simply- it put me in a rough place.

love ya star💗

thank you gray

it’s like weird because i lost my grandparents and specifically my grandmother when i was in high school but she was sick and it wasn’t like a slap in the face

but this is so different. i can’t even think about certain things, like i can’t watch outer banks because that was her and mines show, i can’t look at makeup because she worked at a makeup place, and i can’t watch dog videos because i sent them all to her

[kenzie-but-on-main]

Hey kenz. I got a calender reminder that it's been like a year and holy shit does time move fast.

Um anyway again ik its been a year but I just wanted to apologize for being such a big dick and ghosting you and blocking u like everywhere.

I cant really explain why but like yeah seeing a therapist and we talked about u aand I just want to try and make my wrongs kinda right. I'm so sorry again like I should have known at the time I wasn't in the right mindset to date and I shouldn't have like ghosted u twice ir how ever many times it was.

I hope your doing well. And yeah again just super sorry and sorry for like bringing it up again I just yeah idk im so bad at words. This is alot of rambling I should edit this but I'm not going to. Um have a nice day life thing mwah mwah

(Too scared to dm u so into ur asks it goes)

I was thinking about you yesterday that’s actually really funny

but tbh can’t find ur user to text you this directly but dw nobody follows me anymore, I missed you and I’d really like to talk again as friends if that’s okay :)

[dntaewithluv]

#kenz rambles #just jk making me feel unhinged on a wednesday afternoon #what the fuck is he so hot for 😩 #i already know the possums boutta expose me for this one oof

[bibuddie]

currently doing heinous things in the gc (spitballing some of the most heartbreaking theories about monday and then putting my phone on do not disturb mode)

#rebecca rambles #buck ‼️ tag #me: hehehehe but what if- #kenz & bia: we don’t care do not speak

[kreepy-shipz-archives]

also i apologize if i dont remember anyone my brain is HORRIBLE at remembering ppl

#kenz rambles #esp if someone moved blogs or changed urls its horrible ;w; #anyways hi hi hiiiii

[steampoweredbrainrot]

This performance gives off a whole a lot of early spg kenz vibes, like back when they started performing with the band <3 (btw if yall wanna hear more let me know!! Id love to tell more about my spg insert!!!!)

#yes they were a edgy young adult…. #steam powered ramblings #i honestly hc amy l.ee as her singing claim cuz #one. cringe culture dead and i genuinely think her vocals fit kenz #anyways! hc for yall! #feline engineer

[hermadnessmac]

Hey everyone. I know I just gained a lot of followers (Ugh, all your notes and reviews on fanfiction are killing my heart, thanks!), and I haven't really posted any new stories (I am writing though! promise). So, I wanted to let you all know this BIG THING happened and that's what is going on. End ramble

#kenz rambles #seriously I wake up to ten new notes everyday and it makes my life #but I also love this kid and this is exciting news