#keep em coming

[blob-monster]

x x

#keep em coming #milk pansa #love pattranite #23.5 degrees #23.5 the series #tilt #gl series #thai gl #milklove #%

[jhuzen]

Small brainrot--

Zhongli: You always seemed to get injured when I accompany you on your commissions, is there something wrong? Have I done something to cause this? Please, talk to me...

Reader: My love, darling, sweetheart, I swear it's not that deep. I keep getting hurt because I'm distracted staring at your ass-

-Morax

distractions [gn/m.reader]

AAAAAAAAAA MORAX ANON PULLING THRU WITH A GOOD ZHONGLI BRAINROT! i planned to make just me also brainrotting but here’s a quickie HAHDHSJDCJD. i had so much fun making this LMAO

𖦹 kinda crack lmao, degenerate reader 😭

He was hypnotic.

Zhongli, as your dearest beloved, exceeded your expectations far more than you could ever imagine. He was all too good! An absolute gentleman, completely attuned to your needs and would never lead you down into a path of agony and harm. He was always there, perhaps almost always there, considering that his job as the consultant at the funeral parlor was the only thing keeping him away from you 24/7.

You had no doubts that this man is absolutely enamored with you, tailing you around like a loyal dog when you’re out in your errands. And by these errands, often they are commissions posted by certain people, asking the bravest souls out there to get rid of a few pests loitering around in Liyue.

You were perhaps one of the most sought out bounty hunters in the field. And while you weren’t directly affiliated with world renowned Adventurer’s Guild, you still were often dragged into their commissions, as adventurers personally had to come and ask for your help in the middle of your afternoon tea to track down some pesky ruin guards that indiscriminately attacks everything in its sight.

People may have fretted at the sight of any ruin machine that they came across their paths, but to you, they were the quickest way to earn a lot of mora as having Zhongli for a lover doesn’t come cheap, the man basically buys anything that catches his eye, and the fact that he’s absolutely atrocious in bargaining with you barely excelling at it as well, you’re bound to constantly have enough on you for his spending exploits. Suffice to say, you were the apex predator of these machines, constantly on the hunt for them.

Though that did not seem to apply as you winced for the tenth time at this very moment.

How lucky was it that you were nearby Mingyun Village when you took on a certain bounty that was given on you. It offered a million mora as you had to deal with two hulking ruin hunters, aggressive in temperance as it looked to be one of those just seem to lock on to you in sight.

Zhongli was free that day, and offered to come with you. Your endearing lover expressed his concerns when he happened to look over the paper that contained all the details for your target. And to see you deal with those merciless machineries, he couldn’t hold himself back and immediately asked to come with you.

You weren’t one to deny his offer. Zhongli was a warrior god above all and you’ve seen him countless times on the battlefield when the traveler had asked you and him to accompany them on a tedious commission. And on the off chances that you’ve been on a mission with your adoring lover… you’ve noticed one insufferable thing.

He’s far too distracting.

There was a common denominator in every single time you and him went out on a mission; you were always somehow barely escaping death by the skin of your teeth. It was ridiculous. You’d think having Zhongli in the field would inspire you to do better — but no. He distracted you. Him and his graceful movements, the way his shield just granted you unparalleled protection and when he kicks his spear, you could almost shrivel up and just die then and there.

And unfortunately, this one almost had you kicking the bucket.

Blood trails can be seen on the grassy fields as your worried lover hurried to the nearby village. The residents were quick to aid him and had given him the much needed things for your wound treatment. There was a concerning gash on the juncture of your neck and shoulder, and Zhongli was damn near in tears as he patched you up.

You failed to hold in a wince as you joked around to lighten the mood, “Guess that hunk of junk was eager to be on me, huh?” You peered up at your lover while you sat on the chair, whose frown never left him as he continued to clean around your still bleeding wound. “Hey, c’mon, don’t look so sad… I just happened to be at the wrong spot, love.”

A tensed silence fell between you and him and even in his unresponsive state, you could feel the worry that emanated from him. And even that was something you felt responsible for, unable to say anything else.

And finally he granted you mercy as he heaved a soft sigh, looking at you with eyes that overflowed with so much concern, “I was so worried… you’ve never been this badly injured before.”

You had no heart to tell him the stupid reason behind your fuck up, so you opted to stay silent.

Zhongli took your silence as remorse for your mistake and only continued to press on, eyebrows furrowing as he caressed your face that had a tad bit of dirt smudged into it, “I never wanted to bring this up… but it seems as though every time I accompany you on your hunting missions, you always seem to end up getting hurt far more than when you worked alone…”

You hated where this was going but did not bother protesting, you know trying to get ahead of him is a losing battle, “Is… Is it me? Have I done something to cause this? Am I perhaps lacking in providing you protection? Please…” his words were soft as he pleaded, amber eyes meeting you with a hint of desperation. “Please tell me… I must know what led up to this point. I don’t want to realize things when it’s much too late.”

Stupidity pounced on you as Zhongli expressed his dissatisfaction. This is awful. You felt the guilt seep through your veins when your precious lover was unloading so much of his scorn all for a reason so stupid.

But then again, your dignity was always a notch lower than your love in a list of priorities. You can only hope the man doesn’t hurl his giant meteor at you once you do tell him the reason.

“Don’t… be mad,” you started and immediately grimaced at his pointed stare. Right. Never patronize a worried lover. With your good arm, you pulled him by the waist, looking up at him with a small grin, “It’s not that deep. I promise you. Though, yes, to an extent, my subpar performance has something to do with you.”

Your grip around his waist tightened when you felt him bristle at your words, almost close to pulling away. You quickly fished him out of his misery as you continued, “Forgive my crudeness… but you have been a distraction for me when you join me on my missions…”

“Pardon?”

“Your…” you coughed a little as a light blush dusted your cheeks, “You… uh, how do I put this delicately… you present a rather delectable view on certain angles when you fight.”

Yet another blanket of silence enveloped the both of you, but you broke out a sweat as Zhongli slowly processed your words. The frown on his face suddenly deepened and it was only now or never before he hurls the meteor at you and kills you for good.

Zhongli jolted as your hand brushed against his fine ass and gave the supple area a little squeeze. You bargained for an ounce of mercy with that charming grin of yours.

The former archon sighed with a loaded indignation. He wonders sometimes how on earth can you be a bounty hunter with that kind of reckless attitude. “You… you are impossible.” He murmurs with the intention to chide you but even you can hear the embarrassment in his tone.

“Aw c’mon! It’s not too bad!” You cackled as the atmosphere between you cleared. You gave him one last wink before going in for another squeeze, prompting him to smack your wounded shoulder out of instinct, making you keel over, pressing your head against his stomach.

“Ah! My apologies, are you—?”

“Yep. All good. I deserve it.” You managed through a pained groan.

And you took one last chance at life and gave yet another squeeze.

“Yep. All good. I deserve it.” You managed through a pained groan.

And you took one last chance at life and gave yet another squeeze.

Whether or not you passed out from the pain or Zhongli’s meteor, you’ll never know. This was your punishment after all. One you would gladly take head on.

“Yep. All good. I deserve it,” you managed with a pained groan.

And you took one last chance at life and gave yet another squeeze.

Whether or not you passed out from the pain or Zhongli’s meteor, you’ll never know.

#fun fact; og title of this is cake #my fave zhongzhong scenario #thank u morax anon #u have no idea how much ily and ur ideas #keep em coming #genshin impact x male reader #genshin impact x gn reader #zhongli x male reader #zhongli x gender neutral reader #zhongli x gn reader #zhongli x reader #jhuzen’s stupid scenarios #jhuzen’s stupid one shots

[the-badger-mole]

Scale of 1 to 10: How big of a tantrum would Aang have when a pregnant Katara is craving meat?

During her first pregnancy, he'd be annoyed, but not big and bold enough to do more than be passive aggressive about it. He'd be louder during her second pregnancy, after their first child wasn't an airbender. This time he'd lecture her about meat being murder and how the Air Nomad philosophy teaching the sanctity of all life and how it's wrong to force such a crime on an unborn child. During her third pregnancy, he would probably not even allow her to cook for herself. Not that he would cook, mind you. He'd have one of his acolytes cook for her. And when this last child is finally the airbender he'd always wanted, he would gloat and say his I told you so's and insist on a vegetarian diet for his son from jump. Katara knows he'd probably have an Avatar State tantrum if he ever found out she still snuck meat in during her last pregnancy.

#atla #anti aang #anti kataang #aang has never been gracious about her culture #there's no reason to expect that changed #katara's pregnancy #i like these asks #keep em coming #aang salt headcanons

[kalfui]

Saw your posts and your anon posts on Aroace Alastor and wanna chime in lol. I 100% agree with everything in those posts. And to me the best way to describe how the fandom overall has been treating him is, well.

Shipping is the adult version of taking two dolls and making them kiss, right? The show creates these characters and gives them out to the audience to play with. The lesbians get a doll, the gays get a doll, the pansexuals and the bisexuals all get dolls specifics tailored for them. And the straights are allowed to play with the dolls but ONLY IF they treat the dolls like how they’re shown in the show.

And then finally, the Aroaces get a doll, one made just for them.

Except. We’re told. That it’s not for us. That in fact, we have to share that doll with everyone else because they want to play with it too. And it’s fine, sharing is caring, right? But now they don’t want to give it back. Now they’re making that doll that was made just for us do something that it’d never do in the show. That goes against everything the show depicted that doll as. That takes away the quality about that doll that made it be just for us. They do it, and then flaunt it in our faces. And when we ask for the doll back, when we try to tell them that that’s not how it is, how it’d act, in the show or otherwise. That’s not how your supposed to play with it. They tell us that it doesn’t matter, that it’s all just pretend anyways and why are we getting so butthurt over a stupid toy?

Well, maybe we don’t like it because you have ALL THOSE OTHER toys you can play with! One for every color on the rainbow and then some. But you’re insisting you want to play with our doll, and that what made the doll special for us is wrong and broken and needs to be changed or fixed. And then insisting that this space, this doll, doesn’t fit us anymore, and that WE should be the ones to leave when we try to protest.

I have seen so many untagged sexual posts and fanart for Alastor while going through just the normal Alastor tag. And this is AFTER I filtered the tags of explicit content. Everyone and their father ships him with someone, and never with his sexuality in mind. Three posts down and and I’m reading something on how he’s married to Lucifer and they’re both fucking Vox. (Not to mention the plethora of x reader posts which is a double no because, a) that’s not me, and b) that’s not him!)

And maybe all this wouldn’t feel like such Aroace erasure if the entire freaking fandom wasn’t in on it. People will bend over backwards to make it “ok” for them to ship Alastor, but the moment they try it with some other non Aroace character they get crucified by the rest of the fandom. So what’s so fucking different when it’s an Aroace character who’s getting this treatment instead?

It’s just so exhausting filtering through the tags for content of the actual character, and not some bastardized OC who only shares his name. And then all the posts defending themselves with “but aroace people can still date and have sex, it’s a sPecTrUm!” Which is honestly the absolute worst rhetoric that has come out of this discourse. Yes there’s a spectrum! But they only care about it because it lets them justify their behavior.

Really wish they’d just, respect Alastor’s canon orientation and who he really is, and not dismiss the one trait that so many of us relate to and connect with him on.

(Don’t have to post this/respond. Just needed to get this out of my system. It’s been boiling over ever since the Alastor x Lucifer ship took over the fandom, and it’s been getting hard for me to enjoy that particular dynamic when every other post has them making out. I also kinda wish that if people are going to ship him that they didn’t, y’know, make him completely allonormative and actually explored what being in a relationship with an aspec would look like? Because how we view and how we respond to “normal sex/romance things” are inherently different from everyone else.)

It's such a normalized thing to ship Alastor. Whenever you search up Alastor on anywhere you'll see so many ship posts, and thats so.. absurd to me. People take away his character, and then cry when someone mentions it. What's the point when he's not anything like how he used to be? He's just a shell of his actual self, watered down to dad jokes, jazz music, and technology hating grandpa. No.. There's a reason why I like a character, because they're their own person. I like everything about a character, every part of a character is what makes that character up. Take it all away, it's boring, it's not fun, I don't want my doll like this.

Every time I hear someone say that aroace people can still date while talking about Alastor, I want to bang my head on a wall. Why are you trying to justify shipping him when, yes, aroace people can still date and have sex but does he look like he wants to have sex or date??? And even then, these people do not know anything about aspec people, they go and find something and then flaunt it in our faces like it's treasure, you have no idea how aspec people are, how they experience stuff, how they date and have sex, one nonaroace person said it and now everyone's using it as some "I got you" moment.

I'm tired of people telling us to calm down or that it's just fiction whenever we say they're erasing aroace rep. They've got so many different amazing relationships they could delve into, yet they want to terrorize Alastor over here, is there even a character he wasn't shipped with at some point?

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #aroace alastor #aromantic #aromantism #asexuality #asexual #aroace #aroace representation #radioapple #radiostatic #radiorose #radiodust #keep em coming #i love reading all these #vivziepop #vivienne medrano #spindlehorse #aromanticism

[mentalidrainedfangirl]

the devil works hard, but fanfic writers work harder 🙌

#its only been a day since #guardians of the galaxy volume 3 #and i already see #adam warlock x reader #fanfic #i love this #hellsite #fanfic writers #not complaining #mcu fanfiction #keep em coming #fanfiction #x reader

[whoisspence]

to all the people making those spencer edits with the "keep ya girl head in my tommy boxers" song, i fucking love you

#they're all so good #keep em coming #spencer reid #criminal minds #whoisspence

[sirdanjin]

I'm having a wonderful time with this sudden outburst of anon horniness

I hope y'all get a good giggle out of it too

#danjin #me #anon ask #keep em coming

[tojirights]

all these husband!alastor x wife!reader asks are..... 😣

#losing my whole mind #keep em coming

[thomas-mvller]

Kane (13'), Goretzka (19'), Kane (45+7'), Müller (47'), Musiala (61'), Gnabry (66'), Kane (70')

#KEEP EM COMING #bayern lb

[sevikasleftpussyflap]

Sevika and You irritating each other

Here are some head canons that didn't make it into that one fic. More people liked it than I thought they would so thank you! I love all of you and your comments make my day <3

Warnings: 18+ probably, JIC

You cannot help yourself when it comes to touching her muscles

You hold her arm for a good few seconds, nervously debating whether the possible repercussions will be worth it. With a sharp, crisp slap that probably stings your hand more than it does her, you chime “this bad boy can fit a lot of muscle-" A heavy swat against your backside has you squealing. “This bad boy can lift you over my knee-" 

Calling her name until she comes to you/ emphasizing different parts of it just because you like saying it

“Sevika!” “Baby?” “Sevika” “What, baby?” “Sevika” She'll finally come to you for you to tell her “I love you”. She'll roll her eyes but hug you, and tells you she’ll give you a real reason to scream her name if you do it again.

Calling her daddy in front of people, you’ll shrink back and giggle nervously at the look she fixes you. If you’re feeling brave and don’t run, you’ll wrap yourself around her arm and play cute in hopes there’ll be no retaliation

She’s soft for you so it’ll probably work

If she ever runs into you literally, on accident or not, you’re going flying. She’ll usually catch you before you hit anything (I.e. the wall/ground) 

She’ll laugh and tease you, is very amused when you try to push her back and she doesn’t move an inch

Maybe takes pity on you and moves slightly but I doubt it

You pepper her face with kisses when you’re laying together, softly at first to avoid suspicion and then you attack, keeping her cheeks cradled in your palm to keep her still, and raining down hard kisses on her nose. She’ll usually know what you’re about to do because she’ll hear you mutter “rapid fire” before your assault

She whines like a fucking child, like you’re embarrassing her in her apartment with no one around

HER BLUSH/pout afterwards is absolutely adorable and don’t be fooled by her disgusted face/noises. She loves it

This bitch will sit on you. Break all of your bones. Not really, but she’ll get you back. Either after when you’re laying in bed or when you’re unsuspecting and sitting on the couch.

If it’s in bed, she’ll promptly roll on top of you and start snoring over your squeals. Lifting her dead weight arms is barely doable so you know you’re screwed with the rest. She’ll pretend to sleep while you giggle and push and slap at her. If you tell her she’s crushing your boobs, she’ll inch down and drop her head against them and that’s the only compromise she’ll make. 

If you’re on the couch, she’ll plop down on you and the air just whooshes out of your lungs. This will actually probably be painful so just tickle her neck and she will fold. Use the advantage to push her off and run quick.

She’s really clever with insults. But I imagine if you startle her enough with your stupid, she’ll be so flabbergasted it’ll take her a while to choke it out.

“Why would you- you goddamn tumbleweed”

Her face will do that thing where her cheeks puff out and her face will form this deep scowl that makes her look so scary it’s funny. 

She’ll be berating you and you’ll be biting your lip to not laugh 

You’ve asked her to crush your head between her thighs. Like full on watermelon-crush. She tells you it would be no trouble because there’s nothing in yours

When she gets home and plops tiredly on the couch, you make a show of fixing her favorite drink, only to sit down next to her and start drinking it. 

“Thanks, hon I really need- you bitch.” 

“That’s so sweet, Sev.”/“Oh, you wanted one?”

This somehow leads to some weird foreplay, either her spitting the alcohol in your mouth or taking body shots

If anyone objectifies her they get punched or brutally insulted, depending on the severity. But when you do it, it’s usually you screaming internally or muttering to yourself about how “it’s not fair” or “how is an ass that sculpted?” 

She notices every time, loves the way you drool and your eyes fog over when she flashes her tits at you. 

If the sight doesn’t render you brain dead, you’ll tease her back with “how unladylike” or “how will you ever find a respectable man when you act like that?” 

Telling her she's unladylike will have her doing the most heinous shit-

“I am a respectable man” swoon

She's your respectable man

You flash her too when she’s at work, doling out orders to her men and then there’s you in the back, lifting your shirt. To your disappointment, she’ll smoothly carry on, but as soon as she’s done you’re being dragged to the back room 

It makes her hot and bothered, of course, but she could be railing you in front of a room and still keep her composure

“Do you ever wish you were tall?”

She’ll body slam you on the sofa every time you ask this 

Also when you call her Tiny, Pipsqueak, Shortstack, Princess (this one makes her blood boil)

She’ll literally hold you by your feet until you apologize

You always tell her how hot it is when she hustles/threatens/intimidates someone on the job

She thinks you’re messing with her when you say you want to role play being her prisoner

But you’re not, god Sevika one chance please-

She whistles to get your attention, like you’re a damn dog. I actually wrote a little smth on this 

A sharp whistle sounded from the doorway behind you, one that indicated Sevika likes what she sees. Her method of communication between her and her men occasionally carried over into your relationship, whether she admitted it or not. Enough to where you had created your own catalog for what they mean in your head. Your favorite was probably the one she used in the bedroom, usually an attention-grabber or a warning if you were being a brat. The one time she subconsciously whistled for your attention outside of the bedroom had you threatening to kick her to the couch for the night (like you could) and she profusely denied her intention of calling you.

“Honey, I was just whistling.”

“Oh? So you didn’t want me to refill your glass you were holding out?”

“It’s… my arm adjustments, babe. I’ve told you this.”

#sevika x reader #arcane sevika x reader #sevika imagine #arcane sevika #A little fluff to combat the last monstrosity I posted #your comments make me ride my phone screen off #i get so excited #keep em coming #keep me coming #im sorry

[writeforfandoms]

mink!shifter reader picking the biggest boys as her pack would be the funniest. You expect the third member of the kortac pack to be big and scary like their bear and tiger.. only for a teeny little fuzzball to pop out swinging and biting. tiny, ferocious and absolutely unhinged, as all weasel-affiliated animals should be. I do imagine it would be a bit dangerous for them to pack cuddle and nap, being reader is so small. Alternatively, they pick one of the boys to sleep on so they don't get squished. Outside of shifting I believe they'd be such a menace, especially when they're shifted but the boys aren't. All those videos of minks/weasels "vicously" attacking shoes and bouncing around has gotten to me. just running up to horangi or könig's boot to attack it or skitter up them like a gym and bounce off.

I need you to know I am fucking wheezing at all of this. Mink!reader who joins KorTac and joins that little pack and is the most unhinged member. Horangi sometimes winds her up and sets her loose on people for fun. König standing silently behind her, huge and hulking, silently backing up any threats she issues. (Not that she needs it - she is lethal in her own right, but people underestimate her because she is Smol.)

The three of them shift for pack cuddles and she always lays on one of the two. She likes to sleep on König because who doesn't want to sleep on the ginormous fluffy bear? But sometimes she curls up between Horangi's ears and just cuddles there. They both refuse to move when she's laying on them.

Sometimes she decides to play fight and she will pounce at one of them, squeaking and snarling, tugging at their fur and running circles around them. König is most likely to play - batting very gently at her, growling and grumbling, laying flat so she can climb all over him.

She has also been known to attack people's boots if they miss her off. Once she chewed through four sets of laces during a meeting. There was much chaos and shouting as boots started falling off. Horangi thought it was the funniest damn thing and bought her sweets as a reward.

#shifter au #anon you need to pick an emoji #because i fkn love these ideas #keep em coming

[loganlermanstanaccount]

idk why people are going ham over the new chapter 😭😭

it's a direct push between the readers trust in miguel. not wanting to pursue a romantic relationship in the chances of been cheated on/hurt again.

and for miguel actually cheating, i theorise it was more spur of the moment, or during a toxic relationship or even after a traumatic even. needing to find a distraction from the pain/toxicity. being young and stupid, stubborn and spontaneous. i feel like he definitely regrets the fact now.

BUT ANYWAYS, even if my theories are wrong, miguel is a cheater in the comics anyway so like.....

I just want to make it clearr im in no way mad at the reactions!! I love it when ppl interact and eventhough I got a few nasty ones, the vast majority of ppl are being respectful - just a lot more shocked than I was expecting 😭😭

I need mig to have bright red flags so its more satisfying when he gets that redemption. He improves because someone like reader shows him he can, that he deserves love and happy things, and can achieve it through hard work and effort and the conscious will to change!! unfortunately, I'm not a love conquers all type of person. need him to work for it 🤞🤞

mig to me is a textbook self sabotager. I think he is whatever the opposite of a martyr is, like in atsv - obsessed with making the hard decisions and painting himself as the villain bc that's a reflection of his whole life. a parentified kid (abusive dad, conchata.. yeah I have some thoughts abt conchata in the og run), young teen dad - I think he has really a really skewed vision of love and intimacy.

with how the cheating actually happened, you are pretty close, anon (although I won't spoil). I think shifting focus from the fact that he cheated to why he cheated may give some of y'all a different perspective <3

#miguel o'hara x reader #rigor mortis 😼 #kat_asks📝📝 #across the spiderverse #keep em coming #I get a chance to wax on about my fic and why I made all these choices??? #the dream fr

[yeahiwasintheshit]

healthy, low fat or non fat... blizzard. (fan that chicken you bitch)

#getting some nonsensical asks on this day #keep em coming #lol

[neo-my-geo]

HELLO THERE THIS ASK IS ENABLING YOU TO RAMBLE ABOUT THE DND AU!!!! AA!!!!

Thank you for this wonderful Christmas present, anon! I would love nothing more!

Time for some rapid fire random fun facts about the gang!

1. Scout

- Most of his brothers are full orcs, and the ones that aren't are half-goliath. He's a hard-core runt of the litter.

- He lost his foot after cussing out an incredibly powerful warlock and getting cursed. No healing magic could bring it back, so Dell took it as an opportunity to practice his prosthetics!

- He makes his Bonk himself. It is not sanctioned by the church.

- Scoutma is an orc paladin, and Scout loves her very much.

2. Jane Doe/Merasmus

- The inside of his tome shares an uncanny resemblance with Merasmus' apartment. Merasmus exclusively experiences the world through hearing what Jane says, so he's usually about 40% sure he knows what's going on. Jane can enter and exit at will, but Merasmus is bound to it.

- Going by how Jane describes him, Merasmus is about 89% sure Spy is a raccoon. He keeps a tally chart.

- Jane likes to boost his jumps by pointing his tome directly downward and casting fireball. Yes, this goes about as well as you'd expect.

- When Jane casts a spell with his tome, it's actually Merasmus firing it out of the window of the apartment into the void. They find their way out in around 2-6 seconds.

3. Pyro

- Pyro is often regarded as one of the most powerful sorcerers in the area; the only reason he isn't brought on every mission is because he doesn't use a lot of discretion when casting evocation spells.

- He has attempted (and nearly succeeded) to usurp a red dragon and their hoard before. The only reason he failed was because he had to go home for dinner.

- Dell is his favourite teammate by a long shot and he doesn't usually bother hiding it. He likes his cooking.

4. Heavy

- That is his legal name. He cracked a floor tile when he was born.

- Don't mistake his lack of a weapon for a lack of skill. He doesn't use a sword because he doesn't need to.

- Heavy worships the art of battle, and hasn't quite found a god that exemplifies it to his standards. A handful of dwarven gods have been fighting to have him as their warrior for the last hundred or so years.

5. Ta'Vish "Tafish" Degroot

- It's pronounced 'tah-vish.'

- He's a bit vain about his appearance and takes the longest of anyone to get ready in the morning.

- While he will usually be the first of the group to suggest talking things out over instant aggression, he will shift tracks entirely the second a firebomb is placed in his hands. That's the point of no return.

- Merasmus is still the reason he lost his eye. It was turned into a beholder that stalks the group from a distance and tries to attack them every few weeks, but it's no match for a group with a vampire, dragon(?), and legend-worthy paladin.

6. Dell

- He's the backbone of the guild, other than Pauling. He's very very good at making magically-infused inventions, including his own and Scout's prosthetics.

- His cannons are named Byron, Barnham, Bowie, and Odessa. They each fill their own niche, and Dell loves them all like they're his children.

- Byron is a wild card that will fire at anything he's pointing at. He's great at clearing a room.

- Barnham fires small healing pulses. They aren't a replacement for an actual healer, but they feel a hell of a lot better than being in death saves.

- Bowie is a flamethrower, incredibly patient, and great at standing guard in front of dungeons. He's Pyro and Sniper's favourite.

- Odessa is the largest, oldest, and packs the biggest punch, but she also takes much longer between shots than the others. She likes taking naps by the fireplace.

- Dell invented a self-moving wagon to get the party around. It's called the Subaru (no relation).

7. Dr. Ludwig/Archimedes

- He recently escaped being trapped in a pocket dimension for several hundred years, so he's still getting used to current society. He met another, absurdly dickish vampire while he was there, but he ditched him on his way out.

- He and Heavy are tied as the best hand-to-hand fighters in the guild. Point the two of them at a target and rest assured they'll be reduced to a fine red mist. Just maybe don't send them on bureaucratic missions.

- Whenever the beholder attempts to ambush them at night, Ludwig is happy to fight it off on his own. He sees it as a fun challenge.

- Archimedes is a lich, and Ludwig is his lair.

8. Sniper

- He's BLU, has 125 hit points, and an average walking speed. His loadout is stock, other than swapping his vest for a cloak.

- He still has his rifle, but he uses it sparingly because Dell is still working on mass-producing .30 caliber rounds. He's been aching for his huntsman ever since crossing over.

- He's still getting used to all of this, so be nice to him ok?

9. The Spy

- Yes, he includes the prefix when he introduces himself.

- Being both a soulknife and a changeling, his abilities include telepathy, shape-shifting (as long as it's into a medium-sized biped), invisibility, and the ability to summon knives with his mind.

- He dumped CON, so a light breeze can knock him over.

- Thieves' Cant is his first language, and it sounds suspiciously similar to Parisian French.

Thank you very very kindly to @pinapin for letting me use your sketches because I'm stuck away from my computer! Everyone say thank you pinapin

#ask #neo's got the mic #tf2 au #blink and youll miss the freedom fries #i love asks like these #keep em coming #tf2 #D&D #D&D au

[cursedtrekedits]

thank you for using your manip skills for evil <3

you’re welcome. i do my best

(thanks anon!)

#ironically a lot of my most cursed ideas come from other people #keep em coming