Started thinking about Six Of Crows and then started Thinking™ about Good Omens and I thought "HMM WHAT IF THESE GUYS MET EACH OTHER????"
So here you go (nobody wanted this):
Kaz, glaring across the room at Crowley: ...
Crowley, glaring back but slightly unnerved: ...
Wylan, looking around at all the books in Aziraphale's store: What the...
Jimbriel, oblivious: I know, right?! Books are amazing!
Wylan, internally face palming: ...
Nina (SOC): You run a coffee shop? What's it called?
Nina (GO), suspiciously: Give me coffee or Give Me Death. Why do you ask...?
Nina (SOC), grinning evily: no reason...
Nina (SOC) and Maggie: [Screaming excitedly and jumping around in a corner]
Nina (GO): Do you know what they're doing?
Matthias' Ghost: I do not, no.
Jesper and Muriel, in the middle of the store: [Animatedly telling stories at the exact same time]
Aziraphale, looking around happily: It seems everyone is getting along splendidly!
Inej, holding a warm cup of tea: I agree! [Pause] I think our demons are glaring at eachother-
Aziraphale: Don't worry, dear, Crowley just does that when he likes someone!
(Crowley infact, does not glare when he likes someone. Or he does. He hasn't admitted to liking the company of anyone but Aziraphale... and maybe Muriel. ONCE)
Inej, standing up panicked: My one doesn't. OH NO-
[Loud crashing and banging noise]
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Wylan looked over at Jesper, bottom lip jutted out as he pleaded with him. “Please, Jes? Just for ten minutes, and then we can get back together.”
Jesper raised an eyebrow. “Let me get this straight. You want me to pretend to break up with you so you can belt Taylor Swift in the shower?”
“Yes,” responded Wylan. Jesper sighed.
“Fine. Just let me get into character. If i’m doing this, I'm going all the way.” He took a deep breath, channeling some buried rage from deep inside his chest, and then he turned towards Wylan. “I can’t believe you! We’re over!” he shouted, and Wylan smiled before turning his grin into a frown.
“What do you mean?” he asked, breath shaky. “Are you really breaking up with me?”
Jesper took a deep breath. “Yes. Now go. I don’t want to see you anymore.” He turned away, listening as Wylan stormed off toward the bathroom.
Satisfied with his work, Jesper walked downstairs, humming to himself. He settled onto the couch and waited one, two, three seconds before the water above him turned on and the speaker started blasting. Wylans melodic voice drifted down, the lyrics filling the room.
“Jesper! What the hell did you do to Wylan?” A voice yelled from the hall, and he turned as Nina stormed into the room. “I swear to the Saints if you broke his heart-”
“Nina! Relax.” Jesper said, kicking his feet up on the table in front of him. “He asked me to break up with him so he could sing the song.”
Nina stood there for a moment, thinking. “Huh. Smart.” she said finally, falling down next to him. “We should do that, Matthias.”
From the hall, Matthias huffed. “I do not get why you cannot just sing it without all the dramatics.” he said as he walked in. “What is the point of breaking up?”
“Oh, Matty.” Jesper patted the empty spot next to him, the one not taken by Nina. “It has to be authentic. You can’t just simply sing it. It has to feel real.”
“I do not understand you people.” Matthias grumbled, sitting on the couch. “Do we just wait until he’s done?”
Nodding, Jesper smiled. “Man. I can’t wait until he’s my boyfriend again. His voice is so pretty.”
A thin figure dressed in all black slid through the window opposite the couch. “Why is Wylan singing All Too Well?” Inej asked, lowering her hood. “Did Jesper fake break up with him?”
“He’s wasting water.” said another voice, this time from one of the many doors that led out of the room. “Tell him to get a more efficient place to wallow.”
“You don’t even pay for this place, Kaz.” Jesper rolled his eyes. “He does. And he is free to spend his asshole fathers money for anything he likes.” He turned back toward Inej. “And yes. That is exactly what happened. It’s so cute, don’t you think?”
Matthias laughed. “I think you are both crazy.” he remarked, and Nina chucked a pillow at him.
“Let them live out their teen angst, Matthias!”
Suddenly, the shower stopped, and the final notes of the song came to a close. Everyone fell silent.
“What happens now?” Inej asked.
Jesper shrugged. “We get back together I guess.” he responded, turning his eyes to the stairs.
It took about a minute for Wylan to come trudging down them, hair wet and dressed in an oversized shirt and sweatpants. “Jes?” he called quietly, peeking his head into the room.
“Hello, Wylan.” Jesper responded, trying and failing to act serious. He could barely contain the smile on his face.
Wylan blushed a deep crimson. “Jesper Fahey. I’d like to get back together, please.” he stated, crossing his arms over his chest.
Jesper grinned so wide his cheeks hurt, rushing toward Wylan as quick as his feet could carry him. He picked him up in a large hug, holding his cold and wet body close. “Of course, Merchling. I love you.”
Wylan smiled into his chest. “I love you too, Jesper. I never want to be apart from you again. Not even for ten minutes.”
From behind them, Kaz spoke. “Idiots,” he muttered. But Jesper could tell he was smiling too.
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