#kakazu | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gfguren · 8 months

Text

hidan x (fem) reader x kakazu | smut, plot if you squint, back on my hidan delulus, morally questionable reader with an even more morally question duo | cw: cursing, choking, biting, voyeurism, imbalanced power dynamic, mentions of blood and human bounties

-hidan and kakazu make a bet at your expense-

You're an enigma; sweet, addicting like sugar, an angel wandering through the hell that is this hole in the wall. And you smile at them, everytime, as if there's not a half lifeless body slung over Hidan's shoulder, as if Kakazu's stare isn't cold enough to freeze hell twice over. Hidan wonders how a thing like you ended up here, something about debts and making ends meet and he doesn't really get it, but what he does know is that he burns to get you in his bed, itches to make the sweet thing that is you cry.

And he's certainly not subtle about it.

"What a pain," Hidan slings the unconscious stranger from one shoulder to the other, effortlessly, as if he weighs nothing at all. "Did they say he had to be in one piece? He'd certainly be lighter without an arm or two."

"So will you if you fuck with my bounty." Kakazu's voice is gruff, adding a disgruntled, "We're almost there, shut up and keep walking."

Kakazu doesn't miss the slew of curses Hidan spouts but chooses to ignore them, for now. "At least we get to see our sweet girl."

"Our?" Kakazu snorts.

"Admit it, you old bastard. I see the way you look at her."

"It's business." Kakazu is firm, unwavering as if he believes his own lie. "That's all."

"Well that 'business' is going to be in my bed tonight, join us or don't, I guess."

Kakazu considers ignoring him, settling on an unconvincing, "Not interested."

Hidan leans close to his partner, and Kakazu has to restrain himself from pummeling him to the forest floor when he jabs a bony elbow between his ribs. "Bet you 500 ryo I'll make her cry."

Kakazu grunts, an almost amused sound that doesn't sound too much like a no and Hidan grins even when the larger man pushes him aside, sure that he's finally got him hooked. Now all he has to do is reel, or just shut up until they arrive. A daunting task, truly.

The bounty shop, if you can call this downtrodden hole in the wall that, is peaceful tonight, it usually is when all the smaller bounties have been filled, and all that's left are the hardened, big name criminals that are more or less a death wish. But they pay well, extremely well, and only two types of people ever take them, or at least make it back to you in one peace: the desperate, and the crazy. And there are exactly two people you know in the latter category; it's for that exact reason you're excited, watching, waiting, tapping your fingers against the counter in anxious anticipation.

Maybe they're not crazy, just stupidly strong, you're still unsure after all this time. But you know they're mysterious, fun, attractive as all hell, unlike the creepy, leering men that usually come around, leer over you but would never dare touch you, because you're his - Kakazu's little broker. More precisely, you're a means to an end, to his money, and nobody fucks with Kakazu's money, and lives that is.

The only one with the gall to touch you is Hidan, brazenly rash, maybe stupid, but Kakazu doesn't seem to mind. Neither do you, really. And you suppose they can be that way too sometimes, leering, hungry, predatory as if they'll devour you in a single, wolfish gulp - but only if you say please.

And you would, by the gods you would.

The door swings open, the rickety thing nearly falling from it's hinges when it slams against the wall with a not too subtle - bang! You jump, heart settling only when Hidan's bickering echoes down hall. Neither heaven nor hell can shut him up when he gets like that, but when he turns the corner, maroon eyes locking with yours, wide like startled doe, his mouth shuts in an instant. He doesn't miss a beat, skulking over to you with that smarmy grin of his, and leaning over the counter. You could mimic the words about to leave his lips, in the exact tone and inflection, if you wanted to.

"Busy tonight, baby?"

Your smile is a genuine one, the rare kind that you save in a jar, spend only in their presence. You point at the body slung over his shoulder. "I am now."

"And after?"

You hum, pretend to think as you shuffle through records, doing your best to match the bounty's mangled face with the one on the page. "Dunno. What's it to you, stranger?"

He's clearly amused, bounty slipping from his shoulder and onto the floor. Your protest catches in your throat when Hidan all but leaps over the counter, the flimsy manila folder in your palms quickly becoming the only thing between your body and his. "I've seen a bit too much of you to be called a stranger, yeah?"

His hands wander beneath the hem of your shirt, fingers leaving a burning trail up your spine. You shudder. "Who are you again?"

He laughs, "The type to hold a grudge, I see."

"You left me alone that night, after you - after we - I thought..."

"Did you think I didn't want you?" He's not subtle about the way he gropes your curves, all but humps your thigh. "Baby, I would have devoured you."

Your face is burning, acutely aware of the second pair of eyes staring you down, but he's not fazed a bit, leaning in until his lips slant over your own. "You're just lucky the old bastard barged in, him and his damn bounties." The glare he shoots Kakazu is smoldering but short lived, and he leans in to whisper against your ear, "Really, I just think he was jealous."

"I can hear you," Kakazu grunts, prodding at the bounty with the toe of his boot, making sure he's still breathing, at least.

Hidan ignores him.

"But since you're so hot about it, let me make it up to you, yeah?" He's suckling at your neck, enticing you like honey, encouraging you to drink, drink, drink. "Promise I'll make it worth your while."

And you swallow every last drop, knowing full well it's poison.

Hidan's hands are still bloody when he strips you, pushes you down on the disheveled futon and leers over you, eyes clouded with lust. But you're not complaining, not that you could with one of his big hands wrapped around the base of your throat, the other between your legs, three fingers deep inside of you. His grin is borderline sinister when he curls his fingers, watches you squirm beneath him like the sweet, pathetic thing that you are.

He has half a mind to grant you mercy, but only half; the other itches to devour you, excites at the thought of sinking his teeth in your throat and spilling your pretty red blood all over the sheets - and that half nearly wins, saved only by Kakazu, grunting a displeased sound from the corner of the room when he tries.

Hidan settles on an almost painful trail of violet instead, granting you breathing room just long enough to press his rough fingers against the bruises blooming beneath the curve of your jaw.

You whimper, a pathetic sound that teeters on a plea, desperate gaze meeting Kakazu's bored one; he's lazing in the worn armchair, a relic of this rundown inn that's perfectly normal sized but entirely too small beneath him, dwarfed by his goliath-like stature. You're not sure why he tagged along, trudging in the shadow of Hidan's excited silhouette without a single word or notable flicker of interest.

Still you're not complaining, you'd lay down your life for him - it's belonged to him for a long time anyway - so if he wanted to touch you, take you, consume your entire being and hold it hostage, teetering on the mercy of his whims -

You'd let him, if only he asked.

He's only watching, Hidan had said so, and honestly a part of you is disappointed; you'd be lying if you said you didn't find him intriguing, hellishly attractive, hadn't fantasized about him touching you with those big, rough hands of his that had taken so many lives, but deigned to save that of your insignificant one - even if it was only for his benefit.

He saved you, used you for his own gain and you knew it well enough from the beginning, but it didn't matter, not to you; you were able to escape from the war torn streets, given a reason to live when you had lost everything, even gained a strange sense of companionship with the detached, lumbering stranger, not quite friendly, romantic, or measurable in any sense of the word; just kind of there.

Unlike the odd, semi-tangible affair with that of his hot tempered companion, who couldn't hide a single thought, emotion, or desire if he tried - which you'd bet a pretty penny he never had.

He's passionate, and hot, and you're attracted to him in every sense of the word, but there's also a place in your chest that's he's crept into, taken refuge in Kakazu's shadow. And you know there's no place like that for you in their twisted, brambled hearts - perhaps you're still that street urchin Kakazu found all those years ago, begging for scraps of their affection.

"I thought you were going to make her cry, but you can't even keep her attention." The gravel of Kakazu's voice draws you back, grounds you to reality where Hidan's calloused fingers delve deeper, rougher and borderline feral at his taunt, vision blurry from his hand around your throat; but when he stands to leave, seemingly bored, Hidan's quick to pull his fingers from your core entirely, leaving you to feel empty and wanting, clenching around nothing in his absence.

"You're so damn impatient, fine." He coaxes your mouth open, presses his digits, still coated in your slick, against your own tongue. "Wanted to take my time with you, savor you," his breath is hot against your face, fingers prodding deeper, deeper, deeper until you're gagging, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. "Kakazu never did understand showing reverence, taking the time to worship and praise and adore something, other than his own damn wallet that is." He retrieves his hand, leaving you gasping for air as he wipes your saliva across the hollow of your cheek. "Guess I'll have to devote myself to you in another way, I'll be sure to keep your attention this time."

You're still reeling when Hidan's head dips, disappears between your thighs until you're gasping, fingers tangled in his silver strands of hair.

You moan an exasperated and breathless, "Hidan."

And it excites him more than he cares to admit, spurs him on, has your eyes rolling back when he flattens his tongue against your sex, teeth grazing your folds.

His big hands spread your thighs, holds them apart in their bruising grip when you try to close them around his head, overstimulated with pleasure. And the bastard laughs, laughs when you try to pull away, whimpering pathetically when he circles your clit with the flat of his tongue. You nearly cum right then and there when he glances up at you, maroon eyes clouded with lust, shadowed beneath his dark lashes.

He smirks, lips coated in your slick. "Finally got your attention?"

"Don't get cocky," you sigh, absentmindedly running a hand through his tussled hair. It's gentle and intimate almost, and he's quick to grab your wrist, nipping at your pulse just to feel it stutter.

"Careful, I might get curious if you're just as sweet when you bleed."

The implication terrifies you, because that's not a bluff, not to people, criminals, fanatics like Hidan - but it also excites something inside of you, has your thighs clenching around nothing like a depraved virgin.

"Ooh-ho, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" His grin spreads across your skin, disappearing between your thighs. "Gonna have to take that up with Kakazu." He fits two fingers inside of you, curling them until your eyes wrench shut and your back arches against the futon. "He'd have my head if I hurt his pretty little meal ticket, so I won't-" He adds another, stretches you around his thick digits, breath hot against your core when he mutters a suggestive, "not too much, anyway."

It's sinful the way his lips wrap around your clit, the squelching of his tongue and fingers working you over would have you blushing had you not been seeing stars, white hot pleasure coursing through you when he finds that spot that turns those stars to gunpowder. And he sets you alights, doesn't stop even when your thighs clench around his ears, fingernails leaving red hot streaks across his shoulders.

Tears have gathered in the corners of your eyes, threatening to fall - but not quite - when he finally pulls away, snakes his way up your body and grips your chin between his thumb and forefinger. He examines you, runs the flat of his palms across your dry cheeks. "Tough little thing are you?"

He shoots a glance at Kakazu, still lounging in the armchair, arms crossed like he couldn't care less, but you catch the way his eyes have darkened, the shadow of a bulge straining against his pants, the way he tap, tap, taps a painted fingertip against the straining muscles of his bicep.

Almost like he's waiting.

"Come on, sweet," Hidan drawls, flipping you over like you weigh nothing at all. "Cry for me, will ya?"

"What do you - mmph!" He's not gentle about the way he shoves your face into the cushion, shoves himself against the swell of your ass, dry humping you through his sweats.

"So pretty, and sweet," he groans against your ear, freeing himself from the confines of his sweats, pumping himself one, twice, three times before burying his cock inside you. "That's it, so soft."

You lurch forward, clawing at the covers, vying for sweet reprieve, but he wraps his big hand around your jaw, pulls you back until his teeth graze your throat. "Makes me wanna ruin you." You expect him to bite, surprised by the hot, desperate kisses he presses against your jaw, your throat, the curve of your shoulder. It's hypnotizing, erotic, romantic almost, but of course he's only testing you, tasting you, searching for the best place for the point of his canines, the bite of his teeth. There's a flash of crazed sanguine eyes, and he tastes your blood on his tongue.

He moans, lewd and desperate and loud, loud enough to drown out the sound of your own cries, loud enough to make you blush at the thought of people hearing it in the next room over. His grip on your jaw is bruising, you think it might just pop, eyes rolling back in your skull when his hips meet yours in rough tempo. You sink your nails in the tender flesh of his wrist, half sure you've drawn blood, hoping he'll ease up, if only a little.

It only seems to spur him on.

You crane your head as best you can beneath the crushing weight of Hidan's palm, flash a pleading glance at Kakazu, surely he wouldn't let him go too far, right? Hidan said so himself.

But his eyes are cold, vacant, an indifferent green that bores right through you like you mean nothing at all, like you're a bug not worthy of being crushed beneath his boot. It gives you butterflies.

"Don't give him that look, baby." Hidan squeezes your cheeks between his thumb and ring finger, angling your chin until he can force his mouth against yours. You can taste your blood on his tongue. "Said I wasn't gonna hurt ya, didn't I? See-" He rocks his hips against yours, faster, faster, until he finds a pace that has you reeling, keeling over when hits that spot that has you seeing stars. "You're fine."

Fine? Perhaps. Maybe if he hadn't leaned over you, hadn't snaked a big arm between your legs to find your sweet spot, rubbed it between thick, calloused fingers as if you weren't already on the cusp of tumbling head first into sweet oblivion. Had his thrusts not grown erratic, feral and bruising like a wild animal. But now? Now you're fucked. It feels good, too good, like you're at the peak of sugar rush but it goes higher, higher still until you're a shaking mess of limbs and and lust and stupor.

"Stop, Hidan fuck, stop!" Your whole body is trembling, hands weakly pushing at his wrist that's dead set on forcing you over the edge once more. "Stop, ha-aah!"

You crash again, clenching around his cock in waves that are so intense they're almost painful and before you know it, the world has become a blur of watercolors. There's a ringing in your ears but in the incessant buzzing is the distant, almost sinister cackle of Hidan's laughter. You don't have the time or the mind to be confused; a rough hand cups your chin and wrenches your head up to meet Kakazu's blazing stare.

"That's 500 ryo old man." His hips pound into yours with renewed fervor. "Fuck, Hah-" He throws his head back, fingers surely leaving bruises where they lay. "She's so pretty when she cries, isn't she Kakazu? Might have t-aah." He sucks in a breath, hips stuttering. "Might have to make her cry all the time, yeah?"

Your brain is short circuiting but still, his words ring in your ears, did they bet on you? The bastards. You're worth more than 500 ryo, surely.

Kakazu says nothing, arms crossed against his broad chest. He's calm, suspiciously so given the circumstances, lips set in a thin, firm line. Hidan pulls out with groan, pumping his release over your back in thick, hot ropes. His free hand pushes back the hair stuck to the sweat of his forehead. "What's wrong, old man? Was the show worth the money or something?"

Kakazu only chuckles, deep and low, vibrato shooting tingles down your spine and straight to your pussy. "You call that crying?" He stands, taking one step, then two, and you're quick to sit up, head reeling as you scramble backwards - but he's faster, hand snatching your chin, turning your head this way and that, thumbs digging your cheeks almost painfully. "-just because there's a tear or two?" His eyes piece straight through you, cold, calculated, like a snake about to strike. "C'mere, I'll show you crying."

You're all but dragged off the futon and forced to your knees in front of the armchair, rough fingers tangled in your hair. "Kakazu I can't, I-"

"Don't worry." His words certainly don't inspire confidence, free hand pushing down his pants until his cock springs free, slapping dramatically against his stomach. "Unlike Hidan, I'm not interested in making you cum."

Your mouth goes dry, his girth alone is nearly twice that of Hidan's, and that's to say nothing of the length and the bold, angry vein along the underside and - and -

"Open your mouth." It's certainly an order, not a suggestion - but you hesitate, still reeling from the shock. His fingers tighten, angling your head painfully until you whimper. "I don't like to repeat myself."

You part your lips, fear and excitement turning your stomach, and the very moment he deigns he can fit, he's forcing himself against your tongue, tip hitting the back of your throat in a single, selfish stroke. You gag, reeling back only an inch before Kakazu's pushing you back down, dark pubic hair tickling the tip of your nose. You can't breathe, fat tears stinging your eyes and rolling down your cheeks as your hands push desperately against his thighs.

"That's cheating, Kakazu!" The shrill of Hidan's voice is lost in your drumming ears.

"How can I be cheating-" you can almost hear the smirk in Kakazu's voice. "-when I haven't even started?"

#hidan #kakazu #naruto #naruto x reader #hidan x reader #kakazu x reader #akatsuki x reader #naruto x you #hidan x you #kakazu x you #naruto x y/n #hidan x y/n #kakazu x y/n #naruto smut #im h*rny and on my period im sorry lol

116 notes · View notes

wuxianxkexing · 2 years

Text

So a lot of people criticize Itachi Uchiha for spending all of that time in the Akatsuki as a spy yet he failed to report anything actually useful about them. My head cannon is that he reported useful stuff about them all of the time but the truth about the Akatsuki is so batshit crazy that the Leaf Village just assumed that Itachi lost all of his marbles because there is no way that all of the stuff he told them is true.

Here are my head cannon reports from Itachi on the Akatsuki.

- The leader of this organization is an actual dead corpse who goes by the name Pein. I think he is an actual corpse reanimated by a necromancer (and if he is I need to find out if he has free will or if he is being controlled). Perhaps someone stole the 2nd Hokage's Reanimation Jutsu, or they figured out another method of necromancy. He has eyes like a chameleon but I'm unsure the entirety of the abilities of his kekai genkai.

Leaf Village Reaction: *thinking this all sounds plausible enough* OH shit.

-The second in command is a kunoichi named Konan. Her body is made of paper and she likes to fold bits of herself into origami. She says that it helps keep her flexible. Her paper is also resistant against water, oils and flames. I'm unsure if it's a paper clone jutsu or if it's a kekai genkai.

Leaf Village Reaction: ? "Weird, but ok."

- Next is Sasori of the Red Sand. He is still alive, sort of. He has taken up the hobby of turning living people into puppets (thousands of them in fact) and he also somehow turned himself into a puppet? He also turned the 3rd Kazekage into a puppet.

Leaf Village Reaction: "Surely Itachi must be mistaken? It is not physically possible to turn yourself into a puppet and still be alive afterwards. Plus Sasori was just a teenager when the 3rd Kazekage went missing, no way is he responsible for it."

- Deidara is partnered with Sasori. Deidara has mouths on his hands that he uses to mold clay explosives. His hands are always wet with his hand mouth saliva and when Hidan irritates him he puts his hand mouth saliva all over his face. He specializes in long distance combat and is training specifically to counteract genjutsu.

Leaf Village Reaction: "Gross, was that one part necessary?! Plus none of our medical ninja have even heard of a birth defect like that."

-Kakazu is also still alive. He has 5 hearts that are encapsulated in tentacle monsters with face masks. When he thinks he is alone he let's them out of his body and plays with them like they are dogs. He has killed all of previous partners for annoying him so Pein found an immortal to be his partner. He only cares about money and he somehow is a master of all elements.

Leaf Village Reaction: "Bullshit. That old fuck should long dead by now and it's impossible for anyone to use more than 2, maybe 3 elements. It is unheard of for anyone to use all 5 plus how the fuck does he have 5 hearts in tentacle monster pets? Is this even from Itachi?"

-Hidan is immortal. He performs human sacrifices for his God Jashin by standing in a sigil and stabbing himself after licking his enemy's blood. The terrifying thing is his ritual actually inflicts damage upon his enemy instead of himself. Do not engage in short distance combat with him no matter what. Send only long distance specialists or genjutsu specialists. He is not very bright and has not noticed in the past when I have put him under innocent genjutsus to test him.

Leaf Village Reaction: "I don't think that is physically possible??? Plus immortality definitely isn't. "

-Kisame is my partner and he is half shark half man. His sword eats chakra and he is one of the 7 Swordsmen of the Mist. Despite being known as a friend killer he is actually really nice? I'm not sure if it's just a ploy or if the rumors are wrong, but he seems to be really loyal to me. I think he knows that I'm a spy but he hasn't said anything to anyone as far as I know. He wants to fight Might Guy again as he deems him a worthy opponent.

Leaf Village Reaction: *Already knowing Kisame is half shark because he is famous* "Shit, does this mean our operation has been compromised? Is this why all of this information seems kind of bogus?"

-Zetsu is the final member of the Akatsuki. He looks like a Venus fly trap and he can go through any object to spy on people. He likes to eat decaying corpses and seems to have multiple personalities.

Leaf Village Reaction: *Knowing that Kisame is half shark because of imperfect sage mode, but knowing that you can't learn sage mode from a plant* "OK this has to all be bullshit. Just toss the rest of the information Itachi gives us. This operation has been compromised somehow but we can't call him back to the Village because of all of the murder. Plus if he actually has gone crazy we definitely don't want him back."

Meanwhile Itachi was telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth but it's just so insane that no one believed him. They thought he either lost his marbles or that he had been exposed and his letters comprised somehow and that is why I believe despite having an actual spy inside of the organization that the Leaf Village didn't know shit.

#leaf village #konoha #akatsuki naruto #naruto #akatsuki #itachi uchiha #kisame #itachi headcanons #deidara #kakazu #hidan naruto #zetsu #pein naruto #konan naruto #sasori

227 notes · View notes