#just watched booksmart and i am Thinking about Stuff

[homosociallyyours]

hi this is kinda random but i just wanted to share my piece on this and i’ve seen you talk about it before so i thought this would be a good place. i’ve been seeing so much blatant misogyny and ageism around here lately and it’s really taken a toll on me. like no matter how much you try to justify it as a moral thing, if you spend your days calling olivia wilde a cunt, narcissistic asshole, bitch, and talking shit about her age you ARE being misogynist. you’re not obligated to like her. i personally am not the biggest olivia wilde fan. a little background story, i was obsessed with booksmart when it came out, so as we often do with micro obsessions i deep dived into all things involving the movie, and that of course included olivia. i watched all the press interviews, read all the print ones, and i thought she was awesome. but as a trans lesbian, i always tend to search for celebrities’ stances on those issues before i start to actively support them and their work. not because i want or need celebrities to be activists, i just need to know they’re not assholes about things that are important to me. and that was when i found olivia’s comments about considering considered “a soft kind of lesbian relationship, just gentle kissing and scissoring” when she was lonely after the end of her first marriage, and not using too much make up because she can easily “go tranny” and the overall brand of trans-exclusionary and overly simplistic white feminism she stands for, and that of course was really hurtful and disappointing to me at the time. but still, i will NEVER ever sit around calling her names and talk about her with so much vitriol like most people around here do while intentionally digging up things from her past to try and make that behaviour somehow justifiable because people don’t want to admit how misogynistic and hateful they really are. but just an fyi, we can see right through it and not only is your deep rooted hatred for women crystal clear, but this rage against beards also makes you look str*ight lmao

Hello nonny!! As you may or may not know I'm a big fan of tea and this is like a steaming pot of Yorkshire Gold, so thank you♡

I know that posting this might upset some friends and mutuals, but i think everything you've said is so important and should be heard. I love everyone i follow, even if i don't agree with their stances on everything, and am not shy about having direct conversations about a thing that bothers me instead of indirecting folks or sending anons, so hopefully anyone who disagrees here will do the same.

I think in particular i really feel you on talking about Olivia's particular brand of white feminism, in large part bc it's one of the more common reasons given by people talking about how much they hate her. Your statements are accurate; she has said some things that lead me to mistrust her politically and that feel very deeply entrenched in cis white privilege. She also seems to vibe pretty hard with a lot of pretentious white male auteurs (she recently reposted stuff about John Cassavetes, for example), and in my experience i just. Don't gel with people who do that.

HOWEVER the thing that always gets me is that Harry presents some of the very same white feminist tendencies, albeit, frankly, worse than Olivia? I love him, but he repeats earnest yet empty platitudes about not letting anyone tell you what to do with your body and donates $. It's nothing award worthy, and although i do appreciate that he wants to be careful what he puts his voice behind, it means that he actually says/boosts very little.

I know people dismiss it as performative activism, but i do actually think that celebrities sharing links to resources can be really helpful. Just to use the most current thing that comes to mind, Harry sharing a link to abortion funds (as Olivia did) would've gotten a message about their existence to a lot of people. A message of support isn't nothing, but it's certainly not evidence of top tier feminism.

I think if i saw more critique of Harry's (or any 1D member's) politics from the "i hate her for her white feminism" crowd, i would feel differently. But as it is, it appears that women are held to a high standard while men get the bar set on the ground and a medal if they trip over it 😬

Also, I wish more people understood that you don't actually have to give reasons for disliking someone! Olivia doesn't have to be a narcissist or have terrible politics for you to hate her. It's fine to just... Not like her. And then maybe not talk about her? Not joke about her violent death. Not make fun of the way she looks (she's ugly because she's a bad person/she's way too old to wear/do that thing so I'm gonna laugh at her).

Set misogyny aside for a second if you've got to-- it's just a horrible way to behave toward anyone, and the target (Olivia) is too distant to be hit by the negativity anyway. Instead those comments can end up hurting the people who read them and making them self conscious. For what?

It's not a popular opinion, but i personally view the beards in a generally positive way at the moment. I choose to believe that Harry and Louis have talked through what they want and made some decisions about how to handle their images. This isn't 2014/15 anymore, and the young men who I think did very much want to come out back then are in massively different places in their careers. There's no road map for an ex-boybander coming out and being successful. There are very few examples of successful solo artists who came out early in their careers and continued to find success afterwards. Harry and Louis are navigating an extremely difficult path, whether they're working toward coming out or not. I don't envy that aspect of their lives.

I think it's likely that the women who Harry and Louis are seen with were chosen (by them!) for reasons that i can't or won't be able to see/understand right now. And as I've said before, there is literally no woman in existence who could be liked as a beard in this fandom. No set of behaviors will lead to people not critiquing these women, and that's evidenced by searching tags on some of the blogs who talk loudest about the beards. (Spoiler alert: not one of them has been palatable if she stuck around for more than a couple days!)

And that's the real sign to me that unfortunately this is misogyny at work. If you can name more women associated with 1D who you hate/dislike than women associated with 1D you do like, why is that? How do you feel about it? Is that reflected in your other social circles or interests? Jamila Jameel asked a similar question on her Instagram a few years back and absolutely changed my perspective on misogyny. Would love it if that could happen throughout this fandom.

#long post #1d #on fandom #i don't wanna tag this as discourse but that's probably what it is #fandom misogyny #stunt mention #bearding #it's ok if you wanna unfollow me for this folks i know it feels bad to read critique that feels pointed #but pls know this isn't directed at a single blog/blogs #it's something pervasive in this fandom that has bothered me more and more over the years #also bc i feel like it'll happen: you are welcome to call me a white feminist-- i am white and a feminist and #i do not consider my feminism above criticism #i do my best to think about intersectionality and to de-center myself when it comes to politics #but i also know i don't succeed sometimes so. yeah. absolutely ready for that criticism here

[thelowcalcalzonezone]

hello! welcome to a very long introduction post!

first things first: why am i here?? 

to be honest, i have no idea but i’m excited anyway- my roommate @crokitheloki convinced me to get on tumblr and mainly i’m thinking i’m gonna use it to post random thoughts/memes/maybe some art or writing or videos. I also just like makin cool friends (: 

who are you? 

I'm a college student studying Design for Drama!

what do you like to do? 

I love writing fiction (usually sci-fi, fantasy, screenplays, occasionally fanfic), drawing, painting, video editing (usually edits of my fave characters), baking (cookies, cakes, and pie!), watching movies/shows, listening to film scores, fun makeup/outfits, dancing, singing (not v good but i enjoy it lol)

what are your fandoms/favorites? 

shows: Fleabag, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, The Good Place, Community, Parks and Rec, Schmigadoon, Game Changer, Mythic Quest, Broadchurch, Endeavour: Morse, Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, The Great British Bake Off, Once Upon a Time, Sex Education, Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure, Mrs.America, Only Murders in the Building, She-Ra, Taskmaster

movies: 101 Dalmatians (1961), Beauty and the Beast, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Moonrise Kingdom, Little Women (2019), Cinderella, Tangled, Coco, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, The Princess Diaries 1 & 2, Enchanted, The Parent Trap (1961), Booksmart, Finding Nemo, Anastasia, The Sound of Music, Inside Out, Rogue One, Up, Promising Young Woman, Everything Everywhere All at Once, The Mitchells vs The Machines, Spiderman: Far From Home, Loving Vincent, Chocolat, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Palm Springs, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

miscellaneous fandoms: Marvel, Disney Movies, Disney Parks, Disneybounding, Pixar, Star Wars (very casual), Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus (been a while), Barbie Movies

lookin forward to finding some cool peeps and talkin about fun stuff with y’all (:

#hi tumblr #newbie #intro post #introducing myself #introduction #hehe hi

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24Leaders #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental justice #environment protection #environmental health #Youtube

[inkofamethyst]

December 26, 2022

Is it true that some employers don’t like 4.0 students because they come across as booksmart perfectionists that may not be able to adapt to new situations or is that just propaganda spread by people with 3.5-3.9 gpa students to make them feel better about themselves?

I am honestly so so excited for the beginner ballet class next semester??  Dancing was always my weakest aspect in musical theatre and now I get to learn some of the fundamentals and work toward my dream of being a full on triple threat (an undercover one though because I don’t really know when I’ll get the time to truly do theatre stuff again for a while).  I’ve always wanted to have more bodily control dance-wise because I’ve always felt awkward with choreography and stuff.

And speaking of the arts, you wanna know something I find really hot in visual media???  When characters pull at a necklace from the front to tear it off their neck????  It’s just... it’s such a violent act on this dainty object, but it’s always associated with urgency or some sort of overwhelming feeling, and idk it’s just good stuff.  And maybe part of it has to do with the neck as a symbol of vulnerability.  We should protect our necks, we should be gentle with our necks, etc.  I think there’s a lot going on there to analyze but any time I see it my monkey brain lights up.

Today I’m thankful for the four-hour Discord chat I had with some of my friends (puzzle, cello, dancer, and dnd but briefly) this afternoon :)  We played chess and I fully do not know how to actually win that game.  Like besides having a goal of eating all of the other player’s pieces, I do not know how to play out an endgame.  I just think it’s funny watching the light drain from my opponent’s eyes as I consume their pieces with reckless abandon.  They don’t know that I still will not win (I played an hour and a half game that ended in a stalemate (w dancer-friend) because I had no idea what I was supposed to do with my queen and king against their king at the end, not to mention the fact that I have fully stopped thinking for the past week just to recover from this semester and to mentally prepare for the next one.  There is nothing going on behind my eyes rn.  The lights are on but nobody’s home (unless you wanna talk anthropological ethics in which case the wheels will start turning again but only as long as necessary (we did, in fact, have a brief conversation about research ethics (I used to think sociocultural anth was kind of weird but I’ve learned a lot from the discipline as far as ethics goes))).).  I am so thankful for the friends I have, they’re literally so amazing.

[edit, 3 hours later or something] ALSO THANKFUL FOR THE CLICK-FOR-BELLS BUTTON ON TUMBLR DOT COM :D

[psyche-tips-the-candle]

And maybe kissing her would taste like strawberries and chlorine, and maybe her lipstick would streak glitter gold across your lips, and maybe she'd finally pull away, still wet from the pool with hair like bedraggled seaweed, to laugh at the way your eyeshadow smears violet bruises down your cheekbones only to pull you back gasping for more like a drowning woman.

#psyche tips the candle #my writing #my poem #original poem #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #prose poem #poetic prose #love poetry #poems about love #love poem #love #poem #poetry #just watched booksmart and i am Thinking about Stuff #ie girls #10+

[mcwriting]

lab partners

Um pls be advised that I wrote Tom as a lil soft nerdy college boy and it's a lil angsty at one point but I promise it has a sweet ending :)

Ship: Soft!College!Nerd!Tom Holland x Reader

Word Count: 2383

Warnings: some angsty vibes, cussing

Not a warning but I talk about chemistry some so sorry if you're not a chem person lol

⚛

You shuffled through your chemistry notebook, trying to decide the most efficient way to get all of the necessary supplies before the experiment started.

That would, of course, require your lab partner to actually show up.

Tom was never actually late to the chemistry lab, but it wasn't unusual for him to show up with only a minute or so to spare.

As if on cue, he clambered through the door, taking the essentials from his backpack before stuffing it into the cubby next to yours. You pretended not to notice him as he slid onto the stool next to you.

"Mornin' sunshine," he said cheerily, setting down his gloves, goggles, and notebook. "What're you up to?"

"Just reading over my notes, as usual," you answered, closing the notebook and sliding it away from you.

"I'm hoping we can get out of this lab quickly today. Woke up late and didn't have time for breakfast," you yawned. "Hopefully they'll still have muffins at the dining hall when we're done, I'm craving banana nut."

You heard it as soon as you said it, and Tom's face lit up.

"I know of a banana with some nut you can have," he started, but you gave him a shove and quieted him.

"Shut up, you total weirdo," you laughed, hoping the other lab groups hadn't heard him. Couldn't let anyone think you and Tom actually had something going on.

Not that it mattered, but you didn't want to give off the wrong impressions. Maybe one day someone would take an interest and ask you out, excluding Tom, of course. That would be weird.

Not weird in a sense that you wouldn't say yes, though. It's just that after being lab partners for almost a year now he was just a friend and you were too close to really...

Oh forget it.

"Okay, okay." Tom conceded, hands raised. "But seriously, there is a granola bar in my bag if you want to eat it after we get the lab started. I'll watch the stuff and you can go in the hall."

You grinned. He may be an idiot, but at least he was a sweet one.

Really, though, he wasn't that much of an idiot. Not in the booksmarts sense. He definitely knew his stuff when it came to all of the concepts you'd learned.

More often than not it was you going to him to ask how to do certain problems or compare homework answers.

He was especially good with titrations, the experiment you were doing today.

You prepared to answer him about the granola bar when the TA started class.

"Okay, guys. We aren't having a quiz this week and you should already know the basics of this experiment, so you can get started with it as soon as you get your things together. The acids are under hood 1, pH meters are over there, and the indicator and solid base are on the counter. Let me know if you have any questions."

With that, you quickly got to work, splitting up to get things done faster.

The goal of the experiment was to calculate the concentration of an unknown acid based on how concentrated of a base solution you made.

After a previous incident that caused quite a large percent error (and wasted perfectly good product), you had kicked Tom off of weighing duties, instead leaving him to measure out the volume of liquid acid needed.

You were adding water to the solid base in a beaker when you heard a voice say "ah shit" under his breath. Any time you heard Tom say that, you knew that meant something was up.

When you turned, you found that Tom had spilled some acid on the counter, just a few inches from your laptop.

"Dude!" you exclaimed, grabbing it and setting it on a higher platform quickly. "Am I gonna have to take you off all measuring duties?"

Tom gave you a worried look.

"I'm sorry! I was trying to add it to the beaker from the graduated cylinder but some of it stuck to the side and spilled."

You furrowed your brows.

"Wait why did you measure it in the cylinder? You know the beaker has lines on it, right? We just have to factor the error into our calculations."

Tom went to facepalm, but stopped when he remembered the gloved hand he'd raised had acid on it.

"Now you remind me..." he muttered.

"Why don't you go waste what's left and clean this up while I measure some fresh into the beaker," you smiled patiently, knowing that small mistakes like this flustered him easily.

When you came back, Tom was washing the burette with a few milliliters of the base you had made over the sink. You looked down and saw a couple of drops had fallen from the base beaker.

"Well lets just hope that neutralized the acid he spilled," you thought as you went to wet a paper towel.

He saw you wiping up the spot when he came back to set up the burette.

"What are you doing? I already got the acid."

"I um... I spilled a little drop of my own. No biggie," you lied, hoping he wouldn't press it.

"I spilled some of the base, didn't I?" he asked flatly. You cringed but nodded. "Great. This really is my day so far."

You felt bad. Sure Tom could be clumsy or a little slow when it came to "common sense," but usually it was just one small thing towards the end of the lab, definitely not successive.

"Hey, look at it this way, the only 'bad' thing you did today was spill some reagents. And you already got it out of your system before we even started!"

"I'm not sure that's helping as much as you think it is, but thanks for the sentiment, y/n."

You scrunched your nose at his answer, but moved on, wanting to get the first titration done quickly, since you'd need to repeat it 2 more times.

Thankfully the first went by without a hitch. The numbers all seemed to be in order and it wasn't long before you were starting the experiment again to collect new data.

A while had passed, however, and your hunger was starting to make itself apparent. You tried to talk to Tom to distract yourself, but your stomach started growling enough that even he took notice.

"Seriously, y/n I'll get that granola bar for you if you want it," he offered again.

"No, I'll be okay. It looks like we only need to take a few more data points so we'll be done with the third trial in no time. Thanks, though."

As expected, you finished the second quickly and moved on to the third.

"Hey I'm going to clean up some of our glassware real quick if you don't mind taking measurements," you said, wanting to get ahead on cleanup so you could finally grab a meal. Tom nodded and you took some beakers to the sink.

As you were drying them, you saw Tom give you a nervous look from your station.

Oh no.

You quickly shoved the glassware in a drawer and walked over to find the solution had changed colors and all of the base drained from the burette.

"Tom what happened?" you asked, afraid that this meant you would need to do the trial again.

He looked worried as he held up a plastic piece. The stopper had broken off.

"Tom what the hell! We were almost out of here!"

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry but maybe the TA won't make us do it again? I was like.. basically to the endpoint."

You called the TA over, who looked at your data and sighed.

"Look, I know this is your last run but you've still got some base left, so why don't you do it one more time. You two are still a whole trial ahead of everyone else so it's not like you'll have to stay late," she said.

Internally, you were fuming, but thanked the TA and waited for her to leave.

"Why can't you just do something right for once!" you breathed, exasperated. You felt tears forming out of frustration.

Tom looked at you with glassy eyes of his own and you immediately felt like the worst person in the world.

You knew the hunger was getting to you but it didn't excuse your behavior. You tried to soften your expression.

"Oh, Tom, I'm sorry. I- I didn't mean it like that-"

"Like what, y/n? What other possible way could you have meant that? I get it, I'm a fuckup. Why don't you just do the last one and I'll write down the numbers. Surely I can do that right," he bit back, getting up to get you a new burette to replace the broken one.

You did the rest of the lab in silence. You'd tried saying something here or there, but he wouldn't even look at you, instead copying numbers into both his and your notebooks.

Your guilt had made you almost forget about your hunger, but it was still tugging at the back of your mind.

When you were done, most of the other groups were finishing up as well, so you and Tom wordlessly split up the tasks of cleaning things up to work around them.

You were putting the smaller glass pieces back into a casing that fit in a drawer when Tom went to grab his backpack and put away his notes.

As you did the same, you saw Tom's hand move before he zipped the bag and headed out quickly.

Left on the counter next to you was the granola bar he'd offered up earlier.

Now you felt even shittier. Here you were lashing out at the guy and he was still trying to take care of you.

You zipped up your bag as quickly as possible and stuffed the snack into your pocket as you ran out of the lab, hoping to catch up with him.

It was still another half hour or so until the normal class change, so the hallway and rest of campus was mostly empty. You easily spotted him opening up the door to your left.

"Tom, wait!"

He glanced back but didn't stop, stepping out into the sunshine.

You ran that way, bursting through the door as Tom was stomping away.

"Tom! Please just listen!" you exclaimed, running to catch up to him. He didn't stop, instead picking up the pace.

"Why should I listen to you? I am keenly aware of what you think of me."

"Because I don't really feel that way, Tom! You're not a fuckup."

Finally he stopped under a large tree.

"I may not be that but apparently I can't do anything right so take your pick on what's worse."

He looked angry and hurt, justifiably so. You grabbed his arms and looked him in the eyes.

"Tom, I am so, so sorry for what I said. I was hungry and frustrated and not at all patient with you. We all have bad days, and I shouldn't have forgotten that in the heat of the moment."

"That's the thing! My bad days are every day! I can't get through my day without tripping, breaking something, spilling reagents all over the lab! You weren't wrong about me and that's what freaks me out the most."

"But, I was! You aren't that person I mean-"

"Y/n just accept it. I've had girls break up with me because of this. My own roommates, hell my family, get pissed at me constantly because I can't do things right. I was naive enough to think that I was doing something right with you but here we are."

Tom hung his head before realizing what the implications of what he had said, popping back up to look at you with wide eyes. You could only smile.

"I like to think you were doing something right with me all along. I'm the one who messed everything up today. Tom, you are one of the sweetest, most genuine people I know. You're funny, hella smart, adorable. I don't deserve an incredible guy like you in my life. I mean, after what I said, you were still willing to give me your food? I can't think of anyone else who would do that for me."

Tom perked up some, a grin coming to his face.

"You needed it a lot more than me. But do you really mean that? You feel that way?"

"Of course I do." You paused, studying his face.

After a few seconds you reached up to grab his shoulders and kissed his cheek, then pulled him into a hug.

"I really hope you can forgive me. I truly think the world of you," you whispered.

He pulled back and brushed a strand of hair from your face. Both of you had watery eyes but grinned. He nodded, the did the unexpected.

He pressed a gentile kiss to your lips.

You both let out a chuckle in both relief and nervousness as you pulled away. You wiped your eyes as he did the same. There was a lull in conversation until you remembered something.

You patted your pockets, finding and fishing out the granola bar. You held it out to his and he gave you a confused expression.

"I, um. I think you should keep this for now."

"What do you mean? I gave it to you to eat."

"Well yeah but it's just... how would you like to join me in the dining hall instead? Call it a date, call it a post-lab meal. Either way, I'm hungry and would really like you to join me."

He thought about it for a second, but finally smiled and took the bar from your hand, sliding it in the side of his backpack.

"Come on, I could use a snack too," he answered, sticking an elbow out for you to wrap your arm in. "You think they'll have your banana nut muffin still?"

"I don't really care about that anymore, I think I've got a perfect muffin right here. But we should probably still hurry before the lines get too long."

⚛

A/N: I'm sorry but writing soft Tom was ??? Precious? I made myself feel so bad for him and he literally has never been, nor will ever be, in this situation but I mean come on.

Permanent Tag List

Send a message or ask if you’d like to be added to my permanent or series taglists so I can verify you’ve been added!

@jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @justafangirlduh

#lab partners #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x reader #tom holland one shot #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x y/n #tom holland au #tom holland x you

[mirai-studies-languages]

One of the things that I don’t really talk about here much is that the thing that most of the people I know IRL remember me for is how fucked I am. I mean that in the sense that my mental health conditions and disabilities are a very loud and visible part of my life, and it is not very hard to notice them if you know me for longer than a couple of months.

I very rarely make it through a class without needing to walk outside to compose myself, and my responses to my intrusive thoughts are quite loud and somewhat disturbing to watch. People in my class often ask me if I’m okay even if I’m not really doing anything, because stuff that I consider to be normal seems unusual to them. I’ve been through some pretty awful stuff (which, quite frankly, I will never talk about on this platform except in very vague terms), and I cope with it in ways that aren’t pretty to look at, and are often downright disturbing. There have been times in my life where I thought I would just end it all (there isn’t any danger of that now as the reason why is gone now, so don’t worry about that). All in all, when it comes to my mental health, things have been pretty shite in the past and sometimes in the present.

My brain wasn’t made for academics, yet strangely enough, academics is the one area of my life where I’m not completely useless. At least, I’m smart (or at least, booksmart) and I am a capable language learner, and I am good at analysing literature and the English language. I still face a lot of issues with anything that isn’t language learning though (I’m working at an A in French, but Ds in my other two subjects), especially recently, when I started a new year in a completely different town. I still have time to turn things around, and I fully intend to.

To be perfectly honest, even WITH language learning (which I consider to be the thing I’m best at and is my greatest passion) I find it so unbelievably hard to study in any less than perfect conditions (forget bad days completely). There’ll be times when I desperately want to study a language, but I’ll just give up and write off the day. I study sometimes, I make my snail's pace progress, I make an effort on the days that I can focus, and it’s so so slow, but by god it’s worth it. This time last year, I couldn’t even hold a two minute conversation in French, and now I can write poetry in it. Poetry! Albeit, really terrible poetry, but still. I’m conversational in French! That makes me really happy.

I’m talking about this, because I don’t want anyone who follows this blog to labour under the delusion that I am in any way put together. I want the people reading this to know that if they love languages, but think that they will never be able to do well in them if they have mental health conditions, that they can still make progress. Sure, it’ll be slow, and it won’t be glamorous, but it’ll be so so rewarding.

If anybody is interested, I might make a post offering some advice about studying a language with mental health conditions. Anyways, thanks to anyone who read this!

#mental health #tw suicide mention #tw intrusive thoughts #studyblr #langblr

[swan-of-sunrise]

The Winter Soldier (Chapter Three)

Summary: Steve drops by the VA and listens in on one of Sam’s meetings and later that evening, (Y/N) reflects on her unusual day with the super-soldier.

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings/Disclaimers: Brief discussion of PTSD

A/N: Hope you all enjoy!

Chapter Three (Previous Chapter)

After placing sugar packets and stirring sticks next to the coffee maker, (Y/N) took a seat beside the refreshment table and watched as Sam took his place at the front of the crowded room and began the meeting. One by one, each person would share their struggles with PTSD and how it had affected their lives as civilians; with each person’s story, (Y/N)’s heart clenched in sympathy. These vets have put their lives on the line to protect us, they don’t deserve to suffer, she thought with an inward sigh. She couldn’t count the number of times she’d woken Sam up from a nightmare or had seen him suddenly grow silent and have to distract him from his memories of war. But it was wonderful that people like Sam, people who face the same exact struggles, run programs to help each other out.

Seeing movement out of the corner of her eye, (Y/N) turned to see Steve Rogers leaning against the doorframe of the room, his arms crossed over his chest as he listened to the meeting. Smiling and tugging her sweater tighter around her, (Y/N) turned her attention back to the woman speaking. “The thing is I think it’s getting worse. A cop pulled me over last week, he thought I was drunk. I swerved to miss a plastic bag. I thought it was an IED.”

Sam nodded. “Some stuff you leave there, other stuff you bring back. It’s our job to figure out how to carry it. Is it gonna be in a big suitcase or in a little man-purse? It’s up to you.” Everyone clapped and began standing, so (Y/N) jumped to her feet to man the table. She greeted each person with a smile as they grabbed cookies and filled their cups with coffee, delighted to see so many new faces among the usual crowd. After about twenty minutes of mingling and making small talk, the crowd started to leave so she decided to begin packing up the refreshments as Sam bid them goodbye out in the hallway.

“Don’t take those away those cookies just yet, darlin’, I wanna bring one home to my gran’daughter.”

(Y/N) looked up to see Gary, an older man with an incredibly bushy grey beard and a Vietnam War veteran’s baseball cap, and she smiled brightly before offering him the half-full container. “Take the whole thing if you’d like, Gary, and be sure to say hello to Katie for me!”

That made Gary grin toothily as he took the container. “You know, darlin’, you’re sweeter than this whole damn box of cookies. I’ll be seein’ you next week!” (Y/N) gave him a small wave and resumed cleaning as he limped away.

“You’re pretty popular around here.”

She turned away from the coffee pot and smiled when she saw Steve standing before her, his blue eyes glimmering and his hands shoved in his pockets. “If I am, it’s only ‘cause I give away free cookies; the vets that visit all have a massive sweet-tooth, you know.”

“Are you a vet, too?”

“Nah, I just work here.” She tossed several used paper coffee cups into the trash and chuckled. “A year ago, when I finally graduated with my master’s degree, I started writing my novel and since I was writing about soldiers and government agents I needed to interview some about their personal experiences. So, I decided to come down to the VA. I met with Sam, who had just started working here, and asked if I could interview some people for my writing. He agreed, and I spent the whole day just talking to the vets. All sorts of vets, too; men, women, old, young, you name it. And at the end of the day, after hearing about their struggles with PTSD and how hard their lives became once they returned to civilian life, I went back to Sam and asked if he needed any part-time employees. He said yes, and we’ve been best friends ever since.” Steve smiled, and the impressed look he was giving her caused her to blush so she hurriedly changed the subject. “So, did everything work out earlier? It’s just that it seemed a little serious, so I hope that everything’s okay.”

Steve’s smile fell a little but he nodded. “Yeah, everything’s fine…I was just visiting a friend who hasn’t been doing too well lately.”

(Y/N) impulsively placed a comforting hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, that sounds difficult. I hope they get better soon.” The ghost of a sympathetic smile pulled at the corner of her mouth and Steve’s eyes softened after a moment; realizing that her hand was still resting on his arm, she hastily withdrew it and began folding the tablecloth to keep her hands busy. “Um, Sam and I were planning on going out to dinner after we finish packing up, you’re welcome to join us if you want.”

She glanced up at him and saw a glint of something in his eyes, but it disappeared before she could get a closer look. “Thanks for the offer but I’ll have to pass; I’ve already got some plans later…”

“That’s okay, maybe next time!” (Y/N) smiled, but inside she couldn’t help but feel a pang of disappointment.

Just then, Sam walked into the room with a stack of pamphlets in his hands. “Pretty good turnout today, huh? Five new faces and Captain America!”

Steve chuckled. “Well, I’m glad that I stopped by.” He glanced at the clock on the wall before continuing, “I should probably get going, but it was good to see you two again.”

(Y/N) shook his hand. “I’m not gonna lie, it was a little weird seeing you in your own exhibit earlier but it was great hanging out with you!”

“You too, and good luck with For Queen and Country, I’ll keep my eye out for it in the bookshops.” His bright smile caused her heartbeat to once-again quicken as their hands dropped.

“It was good seeing you too, Cap, you made me look really awesome in front of Maria, so thanks for that.” Sam grinned and shook his outstretched hand.

“Glad I could help, Sam; see you two around!” Steve gave them a small wave before turning and walking out of the room.

Tearing her eyes away from the doorway, (Y/N) resumed her cleaning and glanced at Sam. “What do you feel like tonight, Thai or burgers?”

Sam grinned and began unplugging the coffee maker. “Burgers. So, did you have a nice day chilling with your new boyfriend, Booksmart?”

“Sam…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that evening, (Y/N) sat down at her desk and put her music on shuffle before flicking through her notebook to the pages of notes she’d taken that day at the Smithsonian. She bit back a smile when she recognized the difference between the carefully printed notes she’d taken by herself versus the illegible scribbles taken from the elderly security guard’s long-winded explanations. He was kind of a fast talker, wasn’t he, she thought to herself; as a way of honoring the enthusiastic old man, she ultimately decided to name one of her minor characters after him.

“Stan.” She sounded out the name and gave a satisfied nod. “Yeah, that’s got a nice ring to it…”

(Y/N), now finally having all the information she needed to best describe Soviet Cold War missiles, wrote for nearly three hours straight, only taking breaks to skip songs or to glance down at her notes. She would’ve probably continued writing well into the next morning except that her eyesight was beginning to blur around the edges, an unfortunate symptom of exhaustion.

Well, you have had a pretty busy day today, (Y/N) silently reasoned as she saved her evening’s progress and booted down her laptop. Since Sam was already fast asleep in the room across the hall, she went about her bedtime routine as quietly as she could, washing her face and brushing her teeth before tiptoeing back into her room. She slipped on her mismatched pajama set and was about to crawl into bed when the record player on her bedside table caught her eye. Making her way over to what Sam affectionately called ‘The DJ Bookcase,’ she scanned the shelf devoted solely to her record collection until the right one stood out to her, and then she carefully placed the record on the turntable and lowered the needle. After a moment, the soft tones of Glenn Miller’s ‘Stardust’ filled her room and with a smile, she finally got into bed and turned to watch the record spinning on the turntable.

Thoughts of the super-soldier who’d inspired her choice in bedtime music began to fill her mind, making her smile softly to herself. (Y/N) had enjoyed seeing Steve again, even if it had been in a highly unconventional place like the Smithsonian, and she quietly marveled at how effortless it had been to talk to the larger-than-life man. He really was different from how the history books portrayed him: not only was he kind and polite, but he was also intelligent, sarcastic and extremely understanding. Also a little lost, I expect, (Y/N) thought, remembering his guarded expressions and withdrawn replies whenever she’d ask him a personal question; it couldn’t be easy adjusting to a brand-new reality, especially without a fixed support system to rely on.

“Hopefully he ends up getting the help he needs.” (Y/N) murmured to herself, her sleepy eyes continuing to watch the rotating record as more thoughts of Steve Rogers filled her mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you all liked my little Stan Lee cameo in this chapter and the last :) I’ve created a Spotify playlist inspired by this series, and I’ll be updating it every time I upload a new chapter. Enjoy!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4BenknAqQQnOWY8NmSa23V

Tagging: @mrs-obrien​ @lahoete​ @awkward117​ @cminr​ @momc95​ @awkwardnesshabitat​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @khuang3​ @supersouthy​ @benakenalove​ @brooke0297​ @hufflepeople​ @becausewelie​​ @outoftheregular @supreme-tantrum​

Chapter Four

“The Winter Soldier” Masterlist

#steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers #sam wilson #captain america fic #captain america the winter soldier

[whitetrashjj]

crying my eyes out at your MLA format essays cuz not every queer storyline in media has to be rooted in angst of coming out. i get some of the points you’re trying to make. i also don’t think the show is queerbaiting but jjpope had just as much “evidence” as jiara had. like please explain why jj was so keen on kiara liking john b just cuz she kissed him on the cheek and then went and kissed pope’s cheek?…. like in jj’s mind a cheek kiss means liking someone and he did that to pope. also there ARE shots of jj’s lingering gaze towards pope lets us not lie here lmao. i get that you’re sick of people calling u homophobic i dont think u are for not shipping jjpope i also dont think the show is queerbaiting at all but you go on about “storytelling povs” and “lack of critical thinking” when YOUR critical thinking is literally biased as hell 😭 u can ship jiara all u want but jj and kiara, ESPECIALLY KIARA, are both very much queer coded and if u gonna say they’re not bc of some cheesy sTorYtELLiNg bullshit that u probably learned from a youtube video then you’re just biased to your ship.

You know why I have to write those 'essays'? Cause I get asks like this that brush over a bunch of different topics and I want to make sure I not only address every part of it but also make sure I'm making my pov very clear so I don't have people misinterpreting what I say - even though they still do - or accuse me about random bitching without and reasons or justification. Anyway get ready to do some crying cause you are getting another essay.

I know not every queer storyline has to be rooted in the angst of coming out. I wish there were more that weren't. It's the reason I loved booksmart so much. It's one of the reasons I love Dare Me, because that show had sapphic leads and while their relationship was at the core of the show. It wasn't the fact that they were queer that was focused on. Oh god I could rant about Dare Me forever.

Now my point with JJ and Pope is that we don't get the impression that the boys are currently out as queer. JJ from the start was set up as a bit of a womaniser, a bit girl mad - it would have been very easy to make that gender neutral if he was bi, as I headcanon. With Pope it's the same, I personally view him as gay, but if he was bi/pan it would have been easy to show him like that as we see him attempting to flirt on two occasions. Now this isn't to say that in future seasons they can switch it up as if it was always canon, like they did with Clarke in the 100. My point however, isn't to say that JJ and Pope releasing their sexualities and feelings has to be filled with angst, the example I gave can very easily be played a bit cutely - even if they do address the internalised homophobia that I'm just sure would effect a character like JJ - but just that based on my experiences as a queer person and what I know to be experiences of others that it would realistically play out differently to how it would with a m/f couple. Even then when to comes to friends to lovers in general the removal of physical intimacy when that tension starts to build out of awkwardness is common, it doesn’t play out the same way that ships like JB and Sarah do in which they increase in physical intimacy. 

I didn't bring jiara into this. I didn't go out comparing jjpope and their interactions to jiara, I was simply speaking to how jjpope's relationship was portrayed. In terms of 'evidence' I am more than aware the jiara wasn't written to be a developing romance, anything there was created by what the fans saw and choices made by the editors. But it is also a canon fact that at the very least JJ is attracted to Kie, that all the pogues 'kinda have a thing for her' and that he has 'tried' something with her. Even if the intention of those things wasn't to build to a relationship - they did happen and that's not up for interpretation. I'm not gonna bring up the 'did you tell JJ?' thing cause it still confuses the hell out of me.

The thing with the cheek kisses is that it's not the action in itself that made it a romantic thing. A handshake can build romantic tension when framed that way but that doesn't make every hand shake in that piece of media suddenly romantic, make sense? If you compare the two scenes we have the build up of Kie walking up to John B, a close up of a lingering cheek kiss, the pull back with lingering looks and then the reactions of others who have observed it and picked up on something. It frames it as a significant moment with slow beats. That's how you build romantic tension. With the JJPope one it just flows past it, JJ pulls back from the hug, a quick peck on the check and a 'love you too man' with a smirk and pat on the check. We don't even have a second of Pope's reaction to it. Do you see what I mean?

You can love that moment as a shipper. I mean it's a great moment that really highlights their dynamic. To you it's a dynamic that you see and think oh this would play out so well romanticly, it's a dynamic I see and think oh I love their friendship. Each of those are valid reactions. But it isn't a moment that has been intentionally framed to build romantic tension and suggest a budding relationship.

Darl, I swear to god if I was coming to you with my shipping bias' this would be a very different conversation. I know I will always have them and I will lean into them when I'm on vc with shes, theys and gays and we are getting lost in headcanons but I do my best take a step back when I talk about these things here because I've been in fandoms when you have two extremes and no one relents and it's awful, I don't want to create that space. And once again, I did not bring jiara into this. My original post was not a comparison to jiara.

I am very curious about your perspective on queer coding here. Because yes, JJ has chaotic bi energy and I will die on this hill. But I do not see how he has been queer coded. Other than people seeing a man being physically affectionate with another men and insist that can't be platonic. As with Kie I can see it more, not for a second do I believe that what went on with Kie and Sarah was straight. And I desperately want to see Maddie play Kie as pan to rep her own very underrepresented sexuality! And in terms of how she's written, stuff like being an astrology bitch and environmentalist scream queer to us, I do think it is important to note that the writers of the show being who they are would necessarily have the same impression of what a queer womans traits would be. In regards to that scene in ep 1 where they have the hot touron girl and then JJ, JB and Kie all perking up and doing the nod thing? I don't think anyone has a straight explanation for that.

The 'sTorYtELLiNg bullshit that u probably learned from a youtube video' comment made me laugh cause it reminds me of this guy I had a fight with on the weekend over Remus and Sirius being queer and he decided to undermine my argument by saying 'just because you read it on reddit doesn't make it true' which... yike. Any way, maybe you do but I don't have the tolerance to sit down and watch a youtube video on someone analysing a show. All my interpretations come from years of writing actual essays analysing elements and themes in media. As well as having a keen interest in direction and editing, so I pay a lot of attention to those things and you start to notice patterns. In terms of credentials I don't have any but I do think these 'essays' do an alright job of me not only explaining my interpretation but why. Because I'm not someone to just say things and expect that to just be accepted or think that is makes it true.

#obx #outer banks #JJ and pope #jiara #JJ maybank #kiara carrera #pope heyward #lara answers

[glitchstoxicwaste]

Hi!!! if possible, I’d love to have a matchup! Im 22, 5’4”, and my star sign is Sagittarius! My aesthetic has flip flopped around most of my life, but I’m very much into vintage fashion and thrift store finds. Think 1970s librarian type vibes, it’s camp baby. I also wear huge glasses, I’m blind as a bat without them. I have really fluffy brown hair that comes to my shoulders. It’s…not quite curly so I just use the adjective “fluffy” to best describe it. I’m more on the chubby side too. My interests include art, video games, and movie watching. I’m extremely pop-culture centric! Also I’m sure my blood is 95% coffee.

I’m really booksmart, but I have absolutely NO street smarts and common sense. I’ve accidentally broken/wrecked a few things based on just really goofy no brain head empty decisions. Do not ask me to ever fix anything unless you want it broken even more. I have a sharp wit, and a pretty good sense of humor too. People describe me as kind and warm-hearted, but I definitely wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m extremely sensitive and can be a bit of a crybaby.

In a relationship, I love to spend time with my significant other and hopefully share some interests. But also I want to engage in their hobbies and interests too, especially if they are polar opposites. I love learning new things, especially with someone I love. I want them to feel comfortable enough around me to share hyperfixations and their passions, and mutual support for each other’s hopes and dreams are super important. Physical touch can sometimes be difficult to me, as I can be adverse to it or startled by it. I get overwhelmed easily. But when I trust and love the person, I am more open to touch! (especially when a person plays with my hair or scratches my head). And that’s about that!

No offence, but you sound adorable lmao.

I think I know someone who'll fit you!

He is:

Michael Myers!

He appreciates the 1970's look, it's not over the top and covered in uncomfortable looking jewelry, you're relaxing to him, although he was in Smiths Grove most of his life he still knows a little bit about the fashion from when he was a kid.

When you do your art he will most likely sit by you and watch, if you’re uncomfortable with that then tell him and he’ll walk away… into an area to continue watching but not right by you.

Enjoys watching you play games, if you struggle or die a lot he will chuckle at your frustration.

Will watch movies with you, starting slow with physical touch.

He himself isn’t used to gentle touches, so it’ll be a slow process for him as well.

Starting with the pinky touching yours a little or his arm behind you on the back of the couch.

Don’t worry about breaking things, they were his parents stuff, he could care less.

The only time you’ll come close to crying with him is if he accidentally grabbed your arm to tight, hugged you too hard, or was staring at you and it looked like a glare but he was actually admiring you.

He supports what you do, and doesn’t want you to stop doing what you love just because you’re dating him.

Other than killing I feel like he enjoys woodworking or blacksmithing, maybe even mask designing.

I see him having a little twitch in his hand, and when it annoys him he will come to you for help in some way.

Listens to you talking about your hobbies with a small smile on his face.

#slasher x reader #slasher x s/o #slasher x y/n #slasher x you #slashers x reader #slashers x y/n #slashers x you #slasher #slasher fucker #slashers #slasher matchups #slashers matchups #michael myers #michael myers x y/n #michael myers x you #michael myers x reader #michael myers matchups

[jovalencia]

we all knew this was coming and I’m a sentimental bitch. I just wanted to write all my mutuals some little messages about how much I love you. you guys have changed my life and I am so grateful for each and every one of you!!!💕💞💓💗💖💘 anygays have fun searching for yourself in this mess and I’m sorry for any typos, I’m illiterate (and if i forgot you it’s because i lost my brain in 1912)

@cr1spyy fernanda, my first ever mutual. who would have thought that your 5th wave posts would have brought one of the most amazing people in my life to me. your posts always make me laugh and your dedication to the good morning asks is admirable (fr I could never have that much consistency) you’re so kind to everybody and you’re absolutely beautiful and incredible and I fucking love you so much. I honestly don’t even want to think about what my life would be like if I had never met you, MWAH💕🤍

@sundaymorninghangover I remember you being my first ever note!! you liked this post I made that was a reblog of a “uquiz” that was actually a rickroll lmao. you didn’t even follow me back then but whatever. Then I remember waking up one day to see that you had tagged me in a bingo ask game and I was like “ummm tf is an ask game” but I do still have a bingo card for it that I never used ekenksjs. anygays, you have good opinions on everything and you’re absolutely fucking hilarious. If you told me back in may that I would be friends with you I wouldn’t believe it bc you intimidated me but regardless I’m glad to be an arson gang member with you. your memes are god tier and so is your music taste. I love you whore!!!!!🖤💜

@sound-and-colors ma’am you’re so nice and for what??? the aesthetic stuff that you reblog is *chef’s kiss* and nobody else is out there doing it like you. we’ve never talked but I just know that you are absolutely incredible mwah❤️💛

@embeddedinmybrain tasfia you are the nicest person on his hellsite and you know it (I hope). It was so much fun being your secret admirer anon while it lasted, like fr I loved it. Your art is beautiful just like your heart and i honestly don’t know what I did to deserve such a kind soul like you in my life. You’re always there to hype me up and ily (also just cut your own hair already I believe in you)🤍💙

@gumptin you hooked me with your suus icon and reeled me in by being the coolest and funniest person ever. your posts are consistently hilarious, accurate, or relatable and I admire that. I mean it when I say you’re one of the coolest people on here. idk what I did to have you think I’m cool but I’m honored nonetheless. also you have really awesome style and hair jdnjdjdjd mwah💚💛

@nori-in-pink first and foremost, your blog always has a very nice aesthetic and I feel like I need to acknowledge that. anyway, you are so kind and supportive and you don’t take any bullshit and that is absolutely amazing. you are absolutely iconic and always reblog the best stuff so I know I can count on your blog to be fantastic. you used to scare me (idk why don’t ask) but now I know that you’re just a big teddy bear ily💗💜

@matteohnora my slurpee queen and my mememate!! you always send me the funniest shit and it doesn’t go unappreciated. You’re always there for me with a silly meme or emotional support and I don’t think I’ve ever told you how grateful I am for that. whenever you stalk my blog it makes my heart go whooosh and I feel so special. Ily and I am so glad to have met you💜❤️

@lieverobbe ah yes, the girl with the impeccable music taste. that’s what I know you as, oh well. you are more talented and kind than you could ever believe and your edits are amazing!!! whenever I see you on my dash I get all happy bc I’m like “em’s here!!!” I love all your lil posts and I am so glad that you are my mutual ilyyyyy💙🤍

@ironymane you’ve watched limitless which automatically makes you amazing. you’re an absolutely incredible and amazing person and even tho you aren’t on here as much anymore, I still love youre lil posts. And one time you kept me entertained on a 6hr car ride so you deserve some kind of award for that. ly🧡💛

@kingarthurpendragons okay the obvious thing to talk about here is your incredible talent when it comes to gif making. Like how in the hell- but you are also so kind and loving and it doesn’t go unnoticed. You don’t have to send nice asks but you do and ily for it mwah!!❤️💗

@engelkeijsers the skam nl stan that we all deserve to have in our lives. you are so fucking hilarious and relatable and all around amazing and for what? your posts always put a smile on my face and it is so much fun to clown with you. ilyyyy💚💛

@happiness-isin-you let’s ignore the fact that it took me forever to realize that this was your main lmao. your art is some of the most beautiful shit I’ve ever seen. like your style is so cool????  I could literally go on about this for hours don’t test me. the cute animal pictures are the absolute best and you’re always there for emotional support. Ilyyyyyyy💛❤️

@isakyaqi fiz you are so kind and talented and cool and I really do mean all that. You reblog always the best of content so I know I can trust it. you always put nice tags in the things you reblog things and it’s fun to read what you write because it’s almost always you hyping up the creator or the thing itself. you are awesome jdjdjdndjjd mwah🖤🤎

@cash-queens sam oh sam. Idek where to start with how much ily. You’re my famous mutual which is very iconic of you and you put up with my cat pictures and my silly antics and my riverdale posts. You’re so kind to me and everybody and whenever I make a post when I’m having a mental breakdown you’re always there to make sure that I’m doing okay. That def doesn’t go unappreciated. You’re legitimately one of the kindest and most amazing people I’ve ever known and I love you so much, more than you could ever know💛🤍

@welcometo-saturn çağrı you’re so cool. end of statement. that’s all I have to say about it. your gifs are so beautiful and you don’t take shit from anybody. you’re so down to earth that it makes it seem like you’re somebody who I’ve just always known (even tho we’ve never talked sjdjdjdjdj) so yeah anyway, you’re are a really awesome person with really good opinions and I am so glad that we are mutuals🧡❤️

@amifeelingokay it’s difficult not to start with your url bc it’s amazing and I love it. your skam posts are always so nice and cute and positive (just like you!!) and I love them. the content you reblog is always aesthetic or a nice text post and I just love your blog okay. ily💜🖤

@isthatelpome you’re so nice that I’m willing to overlook your opinion on salt and vinegar chips (they’re not good I’ll fight you on that) your dani icon is beautiful just as you are, mwahhhh🧡❤️

@earthling-isa babe you are so cute with your lil edits and your clowning. the near constant black and white aesthetic is very iconic and i love it. you’re a suus stan so I have no choice but to love you for it. i absolutely adore your gifs, especially the ones with the lil squares in the middle fygzbgut. you are absolutely beautiful and incredible and kind and I love you MWAHHHH🖤💙

@grey-mist-exist okay we’ve never talked but you seem like such a rad person. not cool but like rad (there are are subtle differences) your art is beautiful even tho idk the quotes (go off smarty pants) and overall you are just really rad, idk how else to say it mwah!!!🤍🖤<pretend it’s a grey heart

@fatoudixon hey look it’s one of the most talented people here!!! You’ve always been so kind and supportive of me and I really really do appreciate it. you have good opinions on everything and did I mention that you’re talented?? cause you are, very. Your reaction videos are amazing and not to mention iconic, just like your hair. anyway, ily and I am so glad that I have somebody as amazing as you as my mutual💙💛

@sander-klaas you are so kind and and you have so much passion. I can always trust you reblog only the best of wtfock and sobbe content which I am very grateful for. you literally just started making gifs and they are so beautiful (okay it was like months ago but whatever dkdjdjjdjdj) anyway, thank you so much for being my mutual mwah❤️💛

@jusdekiwi okay we’ve never talked but you genuinely seem like such a sweet person??? I love the stuff you reblog, it’s always the best gif sets. idk I can just tell you have good taste. I hope to get to know you better in the future, but for now I am very grateful to have you💚💙

@kritiquer my twin!!! you and I have a lot in common so ofc I love you. I’m joking obviously.... anygays you are always so supportive of everybody and you are so sweet. I love all of your personal posts, it always makes me really happy to see what you’re up to and how you’re feeling. I also like the aesthetic stuff you reblog, I have bad taste in all that, clearly you don’t. I am so glad that we started talking and I hope that we continue! ily kit!!!!💜🤍

@bleachblondebitches you aren’t on here that much, but whenever you are I get so happy! Your gifs are beautiful and I think about your sobbe and booksmart parallels gifset every day. you have amazing taste in movies and I love you!💜💙

@lesbeanfatou clara!!! bitch!!!! You already know how much I love you but I guess I’ll reiterate. I honestly don’t know what I did before I knew you. I always remember looking at the no idea blog with the Nora icons like “who is this?” Little did I know back then that you would be one of my closest friends. your support of me means the world and I am so grateful for you. I’m so glad that I have somebody in my life like you to talk to and be friends with. you are one of the funniest people in and I just love you so much I could burst mwah❤️🧡

@gucciboner okay hiii ypu are literally so fucking kind and funny, i admire your sense of humor sm. your art is so beautiful and you are so goddamn talented, it never ceases to amaze me. I also love all the little funny posts you make and reblog!! ily💙💗

@helmtaryn even though you put supernatural on my dash, I am willing to forgive you bc I love you so much. your gifs are so beautiful like ma’am didn’t you just start?? icon shit. your hate for photoshop is iconic and you are awesome. you’re always sending me asks and responding to my posts and you’re so nice and it makes my heart go whooosh. anygays you’re cool and ily💙🧡

@starmansander nina when I tell you that you give off the best vibes- okay sorry I had to start with that. I love how you are so nice and supportive of me, it really means a lot. I really like the stuff you reblog like,,, cool art? pretty women? those hopeful little posts? iconic. also youre a noor stan which is a sign of good taste. love you🤎❤️

@ijzermanora daniiiiiii madam you are so epic and iconic and I really could go on about that forever. you are so kind and you’re following all my joke sideblogs (even the ch*cken l*ttle hate blog??? why???) which is very brave of you. I love reading all of your lil wholesome posts and hearing about school and how much you hate chemistry (even tho you like sushi???) anygays we were already sending memes 10 hours into our mutualship so I think we were soulmates from the very beginning. I love you so much and I have no idea what I did before i knew you💜💗

@alwaysin-myhead okay, you give off cool person vibes and I had to acknowledge that. your art is so beautiful and you are so incredibly talented!!! I hope to get to know you in the future🧡💛

@alexiaugustin here she is!!! the queen of good opinions!!! you are such a smart cookie and you use that power to make long paragraph posts that I can actually read without falling asleep. which is impressive honestly. never has a person been so kind and funny and genius in such a well rounded way (that makes no sense) I’m so happy that I have you in my life ilyyy💚💗

@ijntba hihi you’re such a sweet person and I literally love your skam blog sm. I am so honored that you’re using one of my icons you have no idea. even though I’m confused when you post about anime, I still appreciate your passion lmao. mwah💛🧡

@hidden-joy liz!! you are such a kind soul and I absolutely love looking at the things you reblog and reading all the nice things that you put in the tags, it’s always so sweet and supportive!!! we’re relatively new mutuals, but I do hope to get to know you better in the future!!!💚💛

okay sorry to group y’all together but @fudgetunblr and @alexiswoke I like just became mutuals with y’all but I do love you and I’m glad you’re here and I hope 2021 treats you well and that i get to know you better!!❤️❤️

aaand one last final message for max and sarah, i know yall wont see this but ily🧡 💜

okay yeah I know I already said this but I really do love each and every one of you so much and I am so lucky to have so many amazing people in my life💕💕💓💕💖💖💕💘💕💗💞💓💕💖💖💘💕💓

#MWAH💕 #my mutuals are pretty fuckin rad #also don’t tell anyone but the hearts at the end are the colors I associate you with #or they’re as close as I could get #*makes this post* #*goes back to sleep*

[captainrexs]

waves

Hello again! I keep forgetting to just say hi, and apologize for that, heh! I hope you are doing alright and well, and having a good week!

If you feel like sharing, what are your thoughts on the Bad Batch show in general? Which episodes were your favorite and who are your favorite characters in the show, and of the Batch themselves?

For me, I'm very conflicted on the show.... I love the Batch and the dynamic they had from their TCW episodes, but I feel like that was stripped away and forgotten... I loved Aftermath, and enjoy that episode so much, but the rest? I don't know... it's conflicting, especially when Aftermath and the finale ended with the same dynamic and no real improvement in characters or development.

I have been lazy and haven't gone through many of the episodes for my favorite nerd yet, but I do have at least four (?) from the first episode of their TCW appearance, "The Bad Batch" that I was wondering if you would be open to giffing?

If so, I have time stamps and descriptions for them, and always love the time and patience you have with my silliness. It always makes my day seeing your response to my ask, and the gifs, and I enjoy seeing your thoughts on stuff :)

Scenes from TCW S7, Ep. 1. You don't have to do the subtitles if you don't want, as I don't mind the gifs without, just as I don't mind when they are there! Whatever you feel like <3 :

13:05-13:12 and 13:16-13:20 (the campfire scene where Tech talks about Hunter's enhancements and boasts about his older brother. I really like that scene and the lighting, and I am not certain if you've giffed that?)

15:39-15:40 (I don't remember what this scene is and, considering how short it is, don't bother if you don't feel like this giffing this one! I think this is possibly where Tech talks to Rex over the comms, I don't remember, sorry T.T)

19:56-20:05 (definitely don't remember what scene this is but I *think* it's sometime before they access Echo's file or before... I forgot to write the descriptions when I logged this timestamps into my drafts, and I apologize for that T.T)

22:52-23:03 (This scene is where Tech asks Rex what the numbers meant from Echo's message, as Tech's expression is actually fairly interesting to watch as he listens/watches Rex responding to his question).

As always, I deeply appreciate the time you put into every gifset I ask from, and I always smile and have an immediately better day when I see your response and beautiful gifs of my silly nerd <3

Thank you so, so much, and - as always - I apologize if I ever bother you <3

hi!! I have been having a busy week again and my next one will probably also be quite busy but the one after that should be very chill so I'm very much looking forward to that right now 😅. I hope you're doing good!! I think my favourite episode was probably Battle Scars because I love Rex and also because they finally took care of their chips and Wreckers chip was a concern that had been building up for long enough for me at that point 😅, I also loved both ryloth episodes because Hera is one of my favourite star wars characters and getting to see her mom was great and Howzer was a nice addition as well imo. War-Mantle was another episode I really liked and aside from the kanan comics retcon I liked Aftermath as well. my favourite batcher is probably Echo, but probably because of tcw since he didn't get a lot of moments in tbb but I did love the ones he had. but I like the other ones as well, Omega is an interesting addition that I didn't expect, Wrecker is hard to explain but he just seems like a very genuine and good person (not that the others don't, but like if I needed someone to help me move I'd probably ask him, does that make sense? I really don't know how to explain it), I also loved his dynamic with Tech because I think they had the most sibling like dynamic out of all of them, speaking of Tech, I think he's the most interesting when he has to think outside the box, I like it when booksmart characters have to use their knowledge in different ways then they'd expect and watching Hunter bond with Omega was very heartwarming and I think he did a good job at being a leader and trying to figure out how to move forward and balance the teams different opinions. I'm not a big fan of the setup of the first and last episode being nearly identical (but the bad batch have AZI now, I do love that), so lets hope things develop in season 2, maybe we'll get lucky and Crosshair won't tell the empire they've survived which would give the batch some room to figure out what they actually wanna do now. your request has been posted here, I actually haven't gifed the first eight episodes of season 7 much in general since I was still pretty new to giffing when they were released and I haven't gone back to those as much as I have to the Siege of Mandalore and the gifs I did make at the time were on my old account, so they're kinda difficult to find now and they weren't very good anyways 😅. as always, I appreciate your sweet message and the time stamps and you are never a bother ❤

#tech anon #anonymous #ask #requests

[hecksupremechips]

Lgbt movies, musicals and shows

Hey y'all so Christmas is coming up and we're bored so I thought I'd compile a list of all the LGBT stuff that I've seen! This list definitely doesn't include everything there is to see, just what I've seen. Hopefully you can look at this and find something you like!

Note: some of these movies/shows I really love, some... not so much. I put how many stars (in my opinion) they get at the end of each title. If you like a movie I don't, good for you. Vise versa. If you want me to go more into depth about a particular movie or show and my opinion on it or possible content warnings, please leave a comment or an ask. I love talking about this stuff so I'd be more than happy to answer questions (as long as they're not weird or inappropriate).

Okay let's go

The following movies are on Netflix

The Half of It- a smart girl befriends a kind jock when he asks her to write love letters for his crush-also her crush. Asian Lesbian protagonist. Five stars

Handsome Devil- a socially awkward boy at an all-boys boarding school that worships rugby is horrified to find that his roommate is a talented rugby player. Gay protagonists. Four stars

Alex Strangelove- a teenage boy and his girlfriend plan to have sex for the first time, but he questions his sexuality when he befriends a gay guy. Gay protagonist. One star

A New York Christmas Wedding- a woman gets to see a version of her life where she gets to marry her childhood best friend. Also it's Christmas. Lesbian/bi protagonist. Four stars

Moonlight- shows the three stages of the protagonist's life: his childhood and his relationship with his father figure, his teens and his relationship with his childhood friend, and his adult life. Gay Black protagonist. Five stars

Saturday Church- a teen questioning their gender forms a familial relationship with trans women after the death of his father. Queer, implied trans Black protagonist

Yes or No- a traditional girl starting college is horrified to find out her roommate is a butch lesbian. Asian lesbian protagonists, background bi girl character. Three stars

Disclosure- a documentary discussing the history of trans representation and its impact on trans people and society. Many trans actors are in it. Five stars

Other People- a man moves back in with his family to help his mother with cancer. Gay protagonist. One star

Freak Show- a new boy at school makes a reputation for himself by dressing in outlandish costumes. Gay protagonist. One star

Straight Up- a man with OCD who identified as gay begins to question his sexuality and forms a complex relationship with a woman. Queer Asian protagonist

These movies are not on Netflix. They might be found elsewhere, but I am unsure

Booksmart- two best friends who spent all of high school making good grades decide to spend the night before graduation partying. Lesbian protagonist. Five stars

But I'm a Cheerleader- a girl is sent to a conversion camp when her friends and family fear she's a lesbian. Note: the camp is treated very jokingly so it's not a terrifying/completely accurate portrayal. Lesbian protagonist, background gay men and lesbian characters. Four stars

Love, Simon- we all know it I assume. A closeted teenage boy befriends another closeted kid at his school and he is threatened to be outed to the whole school. Gay protagonist. Three stars

The Way He Looks- a blind teenage boy dreams to study abroad to prove himself and he begins to catch feelings for the new kid at school. Queer male protagonist. Four stars.

Boy Erased- a memoir telling the story of the time a gay teen spent at conversion therapy. CW: this movie is very dark and definitely do not watch it if you are triggered by sexual assault, suicide, and aggressive homophobia. Gay protagonist. Three stars

The Miseducation of Cameron Post- a lesbian is sent to a conversion camp where she befriends two outcasts who rebel against the Christian ideologies of the camp. CW: this movie does make fun of conversion therapy and has many lighter moments, but it still has dark content like aggressive homophobia and self harm. Lesbian protagonist, background queer and trans characters. Three stars

Hidden Kisses- a new kid faces bullying when a picture of him kissing another guy gets posted online at a party. CW: this movie doesn't seem to be for LGBT people at all. It's a lot of oppression porn. That's the movie. Gay protagonist. One star

GBF- a gay kid gets outed and becomes the "GBF" of the popular girls at school. Gay protagonist. One star

Musicals

Falsettos- a man name Marvin goes through a terrible divorce after being discovered as gay, but he tries to keep his ex, child, and boyfriend all in one family. Gay protagonist, background lesbian characters. Five stars

Fun Home- a musical based on Alison Bechdel's coming out memoir following her life as a college student coming out and her relationship with her secretly gay father. CW: while this musical is very fun and lighthearted, there is suicide, implied pedophilia, and verbal abuse. Lesbian protagonist. Five stars

Spies are Forever- an American spy in the 50-60s struggles to work again after the death of his lover. Gay protagonist. Four stars

Shows

I'll give a description of the show and then of the representation in it

Trinkets- a girl at a new school forms an unlikely friendship with two other girls at a shoplifters anonymous meeting. The main character is a lesbian and forms a relationship with another girl. Lesbian protagonist. Two stars

Special- a man with cerebral palsy lies about his condition to his new coworkers, saying he was in a car accident. Gay protagonist. One star

She-Ra- we know this one mate. A girl from an evil group discovers a sword that can turn her into a powerful princess. There's a large amount of LGBT characters so you won't be disappointed. Five stars

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts- a girl named Kipo finds herself on the surface surrounded by strange creatures called mutes. One of the characters is a gay black boy and he actually has a coming out scene where he says the word gay. All the main (human) characters are black or mixed as well. Five stars

Pose- a woman named Blanca takes in a homeless gay boy, a trans sex worker, and a former drug dealer to form a family and walk in balls. This show has great representation of trans women of color as well as queer men of color. Five stars

Twelve Forever- a young girl travels to the fictional land known as Endless to escape her fears of growing up. She is shown having crushes on girls and you can possibly also hc her as trans. Four stars

Steven Universe- we also know this one y'all. A half- human half-gem boy named Steven defends his town and the universe with the help of the crystal gems. Many LGBT characters, primarily wlw. Four stars

Never Have I Ever- a teenage girl tries to fix her reputation after the death of her father by becoming more aquatinted with the most popular guy in school. One of her friends has a coming out arc where she realizes she's a lesbian. It also has a very diverse cast and age appropriate actors. Five stars

One Day at a Time- a sitcom about a single Cuban mother and former veteran trying to juggle her family, job, and love life. Her daughter Elena has a coming out arc in the first season and dates a nonbinary character later in the show. Five stars

Queer Eye- a reality TV show about five gay men helping people get their shit together. We know this one. Five stars

That's about all I can think of. If anyone has any additional movies/shows they like, feel free to add! I am always desperate for more representation, specifically trans representation and some bi male rep. Have a gay ass Christmas you funky lil shits 🤡🤡🤡🌈

#this is a ~long post~ #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #lesbian #bisexual #pansexual #trans #asexual #nonbinary

[fallingsunflower]

Tw

So I was doing some research on Harvey Weinstein and Olivia. I saw on her thread of tweets ( October 10,2017 3:47 AM) she said “though I never witnessed it, I stand in solidarity with his victims, and hope their bravery send a loud message to all abusers of power”. And it got me thinking, in my opinion, she’s literally abusing her own power. she’s so clout hungry and money hungry that she’s doing a whole stunt with her costar to stay relevant. And not only with H but other stunts in previous films that she was in. And after seeing how people onset of DWD and booksmart see her and stories that have been shared about her during her career- it’s not painting her out as America’s sweetheart. She, similar to Weinstein, only cares about herself and the amount of clout and notoriety she can muster. Also side note , I don’t know maybe I’m looking to deep into the time the post was made but that’s just a bit weird to me. I mean I don’t know about you but I’m not awake at damn near 4 in the morning tweeting about stuff like that. It’s almost like she was forced to say something ??? And then to the victim who said that Harvey offered a threesome with him and Olivia(happened in 2015) to a young model is absolutely disgusting. And then it got me thinking- why would he include Olivia in his demonic ways if she wasn’t somewhat OK with it?? But obviously she wasn’t phased with it if it took her two years to respond to the whole situation regarding him and stayed lowkey when the 2015 situation took place. idk but if I was Olivia in that situation and a known pedophile brought me into his mess while I was trying to build a solid career I would reign hellfire on him and his law team. But she didn’t. She didn’t even once apologize or mention it. Which says a lot about her as a person and her morals. She went out Kiki-ing with him at the Tribeca film festival in April of 2015 and basketball games in 2014 and did films with him as well. You know that feeling when you watch a movie and the villain comes on screen and you get chills down your back ?? That’s how I feel about her. Olivia Wilde was never a victim but she plays the victim card insanely well. So I’m sure when the BUA comes out she’s going to play dumb and act like she was victim when really she was the master manipulator the whole time. I really hope this made sense. I have a lot of thoughts going through my head about this whole stunt haha

I get it. Are you in the same time zone as her? It's possible she tweeted at an earlier time but I agree that the tweet was weird. Someone in a revealed blind item said that the tweet barely acknowledged the problem but rather just shifted the attention to all men in general, and not just Harvey. Thought it was weird she kind of danced around the situation.

And yeah I agree with her playing the victim card. Believe me, I tried to rationalize and think that maybe she was a victim of Harvey but there's too much evidence to suggest otherwise, starting with the tweet claiming she didn't know. It's just very sketchy no matter how you look at it. I also agree she has similar qualities to him. It's kind of scary tbh

[crow-in-a-teapot]

radio silence

Right so I feel quite underwhelmed, to be honest. Probably because this book and author were so hyped up, and it was Kat's (paperbackdreams) favourite book that she talks about all the time, the bar was really high. The bar was 'this is going to be my new favourite book, it's going to resonate with me so much, and I am going to cry throughout it constantly'. And to be fair, I think that is too high of a bar considering it would've probably been a coincidence if we all had the same favourite books and storylines and life experiences. Though I DID read it in a couple of hours of nonstop reading, literally finished it in one night in a couldn't-tear-myself-away way, while sacrificing my sleep and finishing it at 2am and I think that means that I definitely liked it. It was very easy to read in that way. Anyway, that's pretty much my main thoughts about the book, but I think I got about a chapter in and I had realised - this isn't really for me.

(The thing about getting a chapter in, I think the start did just make me uncomfortable because the situation that Frances and Aled were in in their friend groups were the same situations I see other people in, and there's always an instant uncomfortable feeling of guilt and dread when I'm reminded that some people don't have those close, real friend groups, or find it so hard to socialise and end up in really bad mental places because of that, because they haven't from a young age like learned that skill almost of opening up to people and getting out of that small talk box. Obviously Frances finds Aled and Raine, and Aled has both Daniel and Frances, but those quiet, introverted people in real life.. Might never find that person. And I can't really do anything about that, or I can, but I don't because any friendship built on 'I just feel sorry for you' isn't a real friendship, and thus I feel guilty about it.)

The writing style reminded me a bit of fanfiction sometimes, which makes sense since it's only Alice Oseman's second book and the huge amount of pop culture references really added to that. (The amount of clothes-describing was pretty unecessary though) A thing about pop culture references is I'm not sure if it becomes a bad or a good thing when you have a book full of outdated pop culture references in say the next five years. Because there were already parts where I was like this internet experience is not my internet experience, because even thought his book came out in in 2016, the internet moves fast (this is without the famous podcast obviously), but I've heard about this internet experience from tumblr veterans and historians.

Some other stuff I will comment on was that a lot of stuff really did resonate with me, and I think there might be a chance of me bringing my rating up to four stars on goodreads or smth if I keep thinking about it in years to come, because a lot of the college and university metaphors and really-in-your-face-obviously-not-metaphors did hit me and threw me into a little bit of a thinking spiral as someone who's thought their whole life is dependent on going to a good college and getting a stable job that isn't art-related while simultaneously really wanting to do art, and also building my entire personality around being smart while realising that as I get older everyone's caught up. (The movie Booksmart has a ton of parallels to Radio Silence I'm sure)

I also want to add that the LGBT+ rep was impeccable, really cool. The whole book reminded me of Beautiful Broken Things and Fierce Fragile Hearts, except I really preferred and felt more emotional while reading the latter two; I was also expecting more of a we are the ants vibe from Radio Silence too, not sure why. Eh, idk. I wasn't as good as I expected basically.

edit: i wanted to add some more; after watching the papercut liveshow i think i’ve figured out some other things that bothered me about the book - 1) something i kind of though about but amn’t sure if i wrote about in this review was how much of an almost caricature-like villain carol made, which i don’t think i would have noticed or put as much emphasis on if she hadn’t killed the dog, which seems like the whole cliche of ‘to show this person is bad ill make them kick a dog/take candy from a small child’ type thing, i do agree that the horrible actions of parents like carol often do go unexplained and without closure so there wasn’t a huge need to explain why she acted the way she did because that might have felt too much like excusing her actions or trying to ‘’redeem’ her, but i still felt like she was Evil with no good motivation 2) the train scene at the end DID feel weird, i knew i wasn’t the only one who noticed that, it was very odd and to be fair, i often find myself writing similar scenes in my own writing because i like inner monologues and emotions and drama, but am not great a action and maybe that’s why the train scene was so weird

#radio silence #alice oseman #universe city #okay i cant remember what else i wanted to say or add about the papercut liveshow

[narcissasdaffodil]

Thank you for the tag @kiki-the-creator @codename-mango and @voile-de-lune this gives me a perfect excuse to ramble and talk in depth again!

1. What do you prefer to be called name-wise?

Iris. Some people know my real life name too, so if you do, please don’t use it on here. I make a serious effort to separate my real life from online life.

2. When is your birthday?

22nd February

3. Where do you live?

Wales, UK. That’s how specific I’m willing to get.

4. Three things you are doing right now?

Listening to music, thinking in general, and considering writing/editing something.

5. Four fandoms that have peaked your interest?

LITG definitely, that’s by far my main one. This blog is a split between LITG and positivity. I’ll chuck Choices, The Haunting of Bly Manor/Haunting of Hill House and Taylor Swift in there too. This blog has way more than just those 4, but those are my main ones.

6. How has the pandemic been treating you?

Back at the start of the year, I was getting better mental health wise, and starting to become a proper adult in general. Then the pandemic hit, and my mental health fully stabilised and has mostly been stable. I’ve had a couple anxious spirals and anxiety attacks since then, but I’ll always have anxiety and depression, it’s all about how I manage my shit and not let it overwhelm me too much. And, ooh! I started my first year of uni in September, and uni in a pandemic is definitely a strange experience. Online lectures actually fit better with me, not having to struggle to hear is great.

7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now?

I’ll cheat, and go for two albums: Folklore and Evermore have definitely made my year! Those two have been on pretty frequent repeat, so yeah x

8. Recommend a movie.

Booksmart and Ladybird. I can’t remember watching anything in the past year, so here’s two recommendations from past years.

9. How old are you?

I’m 19, 20 in 2 months and a day! I don’t always keep a realistic count either, but oh well. It’ll be weird when I do hit my 20s for real though, it appears at the moment I’m likely to have a lockdown birthday.

10. School, university, occupation, other?

University and I’m mostly loving it! I love my course, and am so relieved that past me decided that English wasn’t my thing, or even half the weird stuff I got tempted to do. 4 years ago, I seriously wanted to be a child psychologist despite a dislike of children and sucking at Maths and needing a B to even take Psychology. I scraped a C, so Psychology was out, thank god.

11. Do you prefer hot or cold?

Cold by far. I hate hot weather and the summer with a passion. With cold weather, you can add more layers, hot weather you can’t do much, just get more and more uncomfortable!

12. Name one fact others might not know about you.

I want to be bilingual/trilingual in terms of long term life goals. I’m very slowly teaching myself French and Welsh. Both languages are on hold for a bit, but I plan to pick them back up.

13. Are you shy?

Yup. I plan words in my head when I do speak, usually the conversation has continued without me in groups, hell, even group chats that happens! For me to go unfiltered I have to be very comfortable with you, so if you’re starting to hear me talking about more weird stuff (I call it weird o’clock for a label) you know I’m very comfortable, especially so if my messages sound weird and I sound high. Which I’m not, just unfiltered.

14. Your pronouns?

She/her

15. Biggest pet peeves?

Slow walkers, noisy eaters, people who eat with their mouth open, people who move/take my stuff (like, I had it like that for a reason.), loud people, people being nuisances late at night, peer pressure/influencing people in general (I’m pretty damn stubborn, so if I don’t want to drink, there’s no way that you’ll influence me to), arguments, large groups, people who use me for a therapist, dogs (that’s more me not being comfortable with loud noise, things jumping up on me, being absolutely terrified of dogs/having a genuine trigger for them), people who mock strange/rare stuff about people (a serious amount of stuff about me is strange/weird. So you’ll need to find a different person if you want something not weird!), interrupters, being ignored deliberately, and I think that’s it! Phew, that’s a lot.

16. What is your favorite “dere” type?

I used to be into anime, but that was way too long ago, so I have no clue.

17. Rate your life from 1-10

Likely a 7/8. As my mental health is mostly stable, I can actually write and do creative stuff without letting other people tell me it sucks (well, if you hate my stuff so much, do you really need to tell me? Heck no, in my opinion anyway.) I don’t quit stuff just because I get negative feedback any more,

18. What’s your main blog?

I only have this one! My LITG/positivity/random crap one, which started as a mental health recovery/positivity and fandom blog, then gradually got more chaotic as my own creations appeared.

19. List your side blogs and what they’re used for.

I don’t use side blogs, mainly as when I used to have multiple accounts on other social media, I’d always end up sticking to one and neglecting the others. I don’t know how multiple blog people do it, seriously.

20. Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

If your first interaction with me is via an ask box, it might change a little bit once we properly message. I ramble, and talk about a serious amount of strange crap just because it interests me and do spam a lot when I do create stuff, so if spamming makes you uncomfortable, you’ll have to give me a heads up. But also what you see is pretty much what you get, I’m straightforward in that if you’re an arse to me, or people I care about, I will cut people out pretty quickly. I have no patience for people who lash out at others and do set boundaries with people. On a slightly more positive note, a side effect of chatting to me a lot is that I do gush about people’s work a lot. If I love something someone creates, my motto is always telling them! I’m human sunshine for a reason, but even then I can’t always keep it up, so don’t expect me to be constantly happy!

Tagging: @ravenadottir @confused-lesbiam @ajs-wife @bubblybabynailpolish @lucas-koh just tagged the first set of names I could think of!

#tag games #tag game

[lumateranlibrarian]

Let’s talk about Claudia and Soren, because I’m pretty sure their conflict is going to be one of the biggest parts of The Dragon Prince’s endgame.

The Dragon Prince’s main recurring theme is breaking the cycle of revenge and hate, and how that duty falls on the newer generations when their predecessors failed to do so. This theme is so prevalent that we see the children of The Dragon Prince being placed over and over in chilling parallels to their parents.

Rayla’s parents were the last line of defense for the Dragon Prince’s egg, and yet they failed to protect it, running away or losing their lives (or so we’re led to believe); Rayla chose to be the last line of defense for Zym and Zubeia during the final battle. In her confrontation with the exact same man her parents faced, she was put in the same position, and was also willing to die to save Zym (and would have if Callum hadn’t pulled that spell out of his ass, but that’s beside the point).

Ezran sits on the throne of Katolis, and has to decide whether he’ll let a man driven by vengeance and fear tell him how to use his power. This man inevitably decides that dark magic will lead him to his goal. Like Harrow in his final days, Ezran chooses peace over conflict - and yet, for this choice, Ezran is ousted from his throne and placed in a prison he later escapes (unlike his father, unless you consider a birdcage, subsequently escaped, to be a prison too - oh, wait).

And then. Soren and Claudia.

Buckle up, ladies and gentlemen and variations thereupon. Shit’s about to get real.

The scene where Soren snuck away from Viren’s army, leaving Claudia behind, was masterfully executed, and I’m still both delighted and heartbroken over it all. But to map out why it was so excruciating, we have to go back a few episodes. Specifically, the finale of Season 2.

In Breathe, Claudia apologizes to Ezran for her actions attempting to capture him. When Ezran admits that he knows about his father’s death, Claudia empathizes with him by explaining the circumstances of Viren and her mother’s separation.

CLAUDIA I know it’s not the same, but… when I was a kid, my mom and dad split up. I remember hearing them fight a lot at night after we went to bed. And then one day, they told us Mom was moving back to Del Bar, where her family was from. And then they said… we had to choose. And Soren chose Dad. How could I choose? How could I do that? Then my mom looked at my dad, and she told me to stay. She said that I had to stay with Soren, that this was my home, and my brother and I needed each other. And then she left.

EZRAN But how could she do that? Why would she leave you?

CLAUDIA I think she needed to leave for herself. To be happy… somehow. You might have noticed my dad is pretty intense.

EZRAN You must miss her.

CLAUDIA Losing her has been the hardest thing that’s ever happened to me.

EZRAN When you grow up, sometimes there are changes you don’t expect, and you have to face things you’re not ready for. Callum told me that.

CLAUDIA You are so lucky to have a brother like Callum.

EZRAN I know.

CLAUDIA And… I’m lucky to have my brother. Soren is a doof, but he’s my doof! I know he would do anything to protect me, and I would do anything for him.

Pretty upsetting, right? I can understand why a young Claudia would be so torn - after all, no child wants to make the choice between losing one parent or the other. And Claudia clearly recognizes that it was not abandonment, when her mother left - rather, it was her mother doing what was right for herself. Of course, Claudia didn’t come to this realization immediately, and says as much. It just took a long time for her to get there. Again, an understandable response.

Hold onto that! It’s a surprise tool that will help us later.

So, with this in mind, let’s proceed to Season 3, Episode 7, Hearts of Cinder.

Soren has seen some shit.

Where to even start? Viren told Soren all but explicitly to kill the crown prince and his brother. And when Soren and Claudia confronted Viren about this, Viren gaslighted the shit out of his son, to the point that even Claudia was convinced Soren had misunderstood their brilliant, intellectual father for the umpteenth time. This left a deeply upset Soren was wrestling with what he knew and what he was being told. Every time Soren tried to ask for more information, he was harshly rebuffed by Viren, or more gently brushed to the side by a (perhaps willfully) naive Claudia. He knows what Viren wanted him to do with Ezran, and this has been weighing on him for a while. When Ezran spared his and Claudia’s lives, and then was himself thrown in jail (a fucking ten year old boy cuffed in the same prison cell used to contain a treasonous archmage), Soren finally put his foot down and said, actually, fuck this.

And, before I get into the quotes once more, I’d like to point out: Soren isn’t actually stupid. He has his blatantly obtuse moments, yes, but he did come up with the plan (and muster the sheer audacity it took to pull it off) to get Ezran out of Katolis. That doesn’t happen by being an idiot.

Anyways, hold on to that. It’s a surprise tool that will help us later.

By the time Viren, with Aaravos’ help, manages to siphon the power of the Sun Elves’ city, Soren has seen enough. And when Viren straight-up assumes that Soren will be blindly willing to be the first transformed soldier - perhaps because he assumes Soren is too easily led to refuse - Soren says no. He says, I don’t want to do this. I’m scared.

You know how the rest of that scene goes.

Let’s get to the good stuff.

Soren flees, and Claudia goes after him.

CLAUDIA Soren. What’s going on? Where are you going?

SOREN I can’t stay here anymore, Claudia. You’ve seen what’s going on. What Dad turned Kasef into. What Dad turned into.

CLAUDIA Maybe he’s just doing what needs to be done.

SOREN Claudia, you’re changing, too. But it’s not too late. Come with me, Claudia. You can leave him!

CLAUDIA Please, Soren, don’t… don’t do this to me. Don’t make me choose. Not again!

SOREN Okay. Goodbye, Clauds.

CLAUDIA No! No! No, no no!

Do you see the parallels? Yes? No? All right, let’s go.

Both of these scenarios have arisen because of some sort of discord between Viren and his (I hope) loved one

Both loved ones (the children’s mother and Soren, respectively) decided that they could no longer stay with Viren, and had to leave.

Both loved ones gave the remaining family members a choice, to stay with Viren or come with them.

Claudia couldn’t decide, or Claudia wouldn’t decide, and this drove her to intense distress.

Hoping to spare Claudia pain, the leaving party told her to stay with Viren and Soren (or, just Viren), and Claudia had to watch someone she loved walk away.

The writers are bringing their A-game here, in case that hasn’t been made abundantly clear yet. There are a couple of reasonable assumptions we can make, going off these pretty blatant similarities:

Claudia and Soren’s mother was likely also upset about Viren’s growing reliance on dark magic. Or at least, that was a part of it.

Claudia and Soren’s mother returned to live with her family in another city, far away. This raises the possibility that Team Zym and associates are now Soren’s “family”, and like his mother, he’s not likely to go back.

Remember that first “surprise tool”? Claudia, while heartbroken now like she was then, may be able to forgive Soren for leaving her, as she came to understand her mother’s reasons for finalizing the divorce and moving away from the capital. Whether she does, and if doing so leads to reconciliation, however, remains to be seen…

This scene was beautifully executed, and kudos to the writers, animators, and voice actors for a superb character study. I am curious, though. Claudia has been closely paralleled with Viren, here. It’s possible that Soren has had several moments in the series so far where his actions and motivations mirror his mother’s, and we just don’t know about it because of how little we know of her.

But wait! We’re not done. I did say I think a final, major confrontation between Claudia and Soren is part of the endgame, right? Let’s dive into that.

Point: Claudia is either more powerful or more dangerously driven than Viren. Why do I say this, given all the crazy shit Viren’s done, especially under Aaravos’ counsel? Because Claudia brought Viren back from the dead. She has done what Viren either never could, or never dared to do. If Viren had been able or willing, he would have saved Sarai.

(If that’s not true… if he chose not to save Sarai, in favor of collecting her last breath in order to make a cursed weapon that could bring down Thunder… well, any shred of redeemability Viren had is now gone in my mind. Because how do you look your friend, a grieving husband, father, and king in the eye when you hold his wife’s last breath in your hands and say, “This is all I was able to save,” when it’s a lie?)

Point: Viren failed Aaravos. Viren failed Aaravos, but Claudia has managed to perform what is, as far as we know, the impossible. From the split second glimpse we have of her face immediately after Viren is revived, it seems like she just cast the spell - her eyes are pure black, but quickly fade to their original color, much as they did when Claudia restored Soren’s ability to walk using life force siphoned from a pair of deer. We also know that Aaravos has been spinning himself a new form over the two days before Viren was revived - it’s possible that Aaravos doesn’t yet know what Claudia has accomplished. What will Aaravos do, I wonder, when he learns about the impossible prodigy he has access to? It’s implied that Claudia still doesn’t know about Aaravos speaking through the caterpillar, but that hardly matters to a master manipulator like Aaravos. When you want to conquer Xadia, do you want a broken, old pawn, or a young and innovative replacement instead?

Point: Soren is not stupid. He’s not booksmart, obviously. But he’s got a keen eye for strategy. How do I know? Because he made Captain of the Crownsguard at the age of 18. Because it took him all of two seconds to see a dragon brought down by ballista during the battle to realize that the only way to give the dragons a fighting chance was to keep them in the air. Because he planned - no, he masterminded - Ezran’s escape from the dungeons and subsequent journey across Xadia to get to Zym before Viren. And because he timed it just right, Viren has no idea Ezran has escaped until the final battle - if he even knows at all, given that the only interaction we see is between them after Ezran’s escape is on the battlefield, with Ezran and the illusion Viren created by Claudia.

Point: The Illusion Viren.

This frame was the one that, of the entire season, truly stole my breath away.

Viren (well, illusion Viren, but that’s not the point of this frame) is the dividing factor between Claudia and Soren, and he has caused this rift between them due to his intent towards Ezran. Soren’s compassion and duty towards Ezran has allowed him to see the truth of Viren’s actions, whereas Claudia’s compassion for Ezran has blinded her to the fact that her own father could act so horribly to him.

And, if you’ll indulge me for just a minute, I have to wonder - why was this the ploy Claudia chose to use, to distract Soren and Ezran from the threat at the top of the Storm Spire? She has adamantly been opposed to the idea that Viren would ever orchestrate Ezran’s death, including several clear warning signs and Soren’s testimony. So why did she use this illusion - of Viren going after Ezran, clearly trying to kill him - against Soren, when his resolve to protect Ezran from Viren is what led him to the Storm Spire in the first place? Claudia is horrified when Soren demonstrates that he is willing to kill his own father to protect Ezran (who is, by the way, still a ten-year-old boy, king or not). But isn’t this what Soren has been saying all along? That Viren has been telling him to kill Ezran, and that Viren is wrong, and Soren believed this so much that he chose to leave rather than continue gong along with Viren’s plans? So, whose resolve is Claudia really testing here - Soren’s? Or her own?

I think it’s the latter, honestly. But back to our regularly-scheduled programming. Where was I?

Ah, yes.

Endgame.

So what do we know? Claudia is quite possibly the most powerful dark mage in the world. She’s chosen to continue aligning herself with Viren and Viren alone. Soren is a strategist driven by duty, and is surrounded by other warriors of similar mind and similar or even better skill. Unless a new threat emerges beyond the alliance of Viren and Aaravos (which isn’t impossible, of course), the two siblings are in direct opposition to one another. Claudia must live with the fact that her brother was willing to kill their father, and has left her to pick up the pieces. Soren must live with the fact that he was willing to kill their father, and that Claudia’s manipulation is what drove him to it.

The two of them have also, believe it or not, grown up with vastly different influences during their formative years. Differences in treatment from Viren aside, there’s an implication that Claudia and Soren have been on separate paths for a long time. Claudia is clearly Viren’s favorite - he has actual conversations with her, listens to her questions and attempts to answer them (whether the answers or truthful or not is another issue). Meanwhile, Viren puts very little effort into understanding Soren. Likely, he believes he already does, as Soren isn’t, shall we say, the most complicated of individuals. So, Claudia gets private tutoring under her father, and academic and intellectual training that Viren can relate to and challenge and encourage. Meanwhile, Soren, the family jock, goes into the castle guard. It’s not clear what all this would entail, but I imagine he trained with other recruits for a time in his own age group, reported to a commander or other superior officer, and probably received some sort of advanced training when it became clear he was a prodigy in his own right - after all, it’s not your average eighteen-year-old who is placed in charge of the security of a monarch. To sum up, Claudia was favored and likely spoiled to some degree by her father, whereas Soren excelled in military boot camp, which requires recruits to learn how to carry their own weight and take responsibility for protecting others in a very different sense than Viren’s supposed dedication to the realm.

Narratively speaking, despite first impressions, Claudia is the sibling with more cards stacked against her. She is falling faster and faster towards the point of no return with dark magic, whereas Soren has fought for every inch of his venture into the light. I’m anticipating larger confrontation between the two siblings than what we have seen so far. My heart breaks for both of them, but when I think of how future generations of humans and elves will tell the story of the Dragon Prince, these tragic siblings will fill one of the most resonant threads of the epic.

Ezran rode into the throne room that was his by birthright on the back of a massive, black-furred beast whom he charmed into loyalty. Rayla tackled a madman off of the highest peak in Xadia, and Callum dove selflessly after her. Claudia raised her father from the dead. Soren crossed miles of hostile territory in a single night to warn the Dragon Prince of a coming army.

There is a story being told here. Sometimes, history repeats, and sometimes, it rhymes. Cycles are meant to be broken, but only time will tell how Claudia and Soren handle the one they’re trapped in.

Can I just say, though?

Claudia is going to make one hell of an epic villain.

Bring it on.

#the dragon prince #meta #my meta #I think this is the longest meta i've ever written #it's just over 2800 words #that's longer than most of my Ao3 pieces #LONG post #tdp