#just thinking a bit about why he made some career decisions he did

[thisismeracing]

Pretty Liar | LN4 (Patreon exclusive)

― Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader ― Word count: 5.6k ― Warnings: mentions of food and alcohol; +18! graphic description of sex (p in v, oral - both, fem and male receiving). ― Summary: Ever since Lando was a kid he knew his future would bring fame somehow, always involved with racing and having just what it needed to become a Formula 1 driver, he was happy with everything it entailed, up until said future became his present and he realized there was also a rough side to the fame. That’s why, when he found you – someone who had no idea who he was, he kept his career from you. He would tell you, and he would eventually clarify the situation, he had it all planned, however, all it took was one week. One week for you to discover that what you thought started as a beautiful story, was actually a perfectly told lie. Lando was pretty, but he was also a liar. Now he had to find a way to explain everything, and you had to find it in you to forgive him.

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Some scientists believe that it takes around ten minutes for an average person to make an everyday decision. Yet, the moment Yn’s eyes met Lando’s, and he smiled at her, she knew they would go home together that night, and this exchange took less than a second. 

His face seemed familiar, but she couldn’t remember where. She thought maybe it was from an old Instagram post their friends in common had made. Maybe they saw each other in a pub before. The city wasn’t that big, their crowds were similar, and they were both young.

Lando seemed surprised with the news, “You don’t…know me?” 

“Should I?” Yn asks, quirking her eyebrows with a glimmer of humor in her stare. 

He shook his head before Oliver, their common friend, could say something, “Nah, it’s just…I’m a DJ, I thought maybe you had seen something about me around a party you know?!” 

Yn bit her lower lip, chuckling. “I’m sorry, I’m sure you must be a great DJ, but I’ve never heard of a Lando Norris before.” 

“Now I’m hurt,” the Brit turned to their friend, and Oliver’s laugh boomed around. 

That was how their first interaction went, with both aware of the tension line being pulled. Lando had never seen someone match his energy like she did, and Yn had never felt that giddy with a guy before. When someone grabbed Oliver away, the speakers gave space to a remixed tune of  Zedd and Yn asked what Lando was playing that night, or if he was playing at all. 

He smiled at her showing the small gap between his teeth which she decided was one of her favorite features of his, after his eyes, “It depends. What do you want me to play?”

“Oooh, smooth, I like it!” she giggled, taking a sip of her drink, and using the seconds to breathe in some air. “Would you mind playing Rihanna?” 

“Most recent ones or oldies?” 

“Around 2010s would be perfect.”

“I know exactly the song,” he announced like a promise, and Yn nodded, grabbing his hand, lacing their fingers, and starting to head in the direction of the bar. It would be an hour or so until the pub’s DJ finished his thing. 

“Do you wanna drink something?” Yn stopped to say in his ears now that the song seemed much louder and so did the crowd. Lando’s free hand grabbed her waist, and he shouted back that he had just grabbed his refill, but he was fine going with her. 

Truth was, Lando didn’t even like the bar area that much, drunk people would tend to gather there sometimes, spill their alcohol, scream, and try creating scenes, but something about Yn’s eyes would make him follow her to hell, and they had just met. That felt a tad scary, but he wouldn’t think too much about it, trying to focus his mind on Danny’s words about enjoying the butterflies, enjoying the naivety, and enjoying the nerves that came with it. 

**********************

“I still gotta learn how to bake properly.”

“We could try together. I know a thing or two about sugary recipes,” she suggested. “Meanwhile, you cook the main dish and I make the dessert—” she stopped mid-sentence, putting the palm of her hand on her forehead. “We forgot about dessert, Lan!” 

But the pilot can only grin, watching in awe as her lips pout slightly.

“I didn’t.”

“What do you mean?” her tone started with a confused hint, but when their eyes met and Yn caught the way his gaze drifted  across her body like a caress bringing a shiver along. Her legs instinctively crossed in search of the slight tinge of pressure. 

“Oh, you know exactly what I mean,” his grin was wicked, and the way his head pointed to the space in front of him at the table almost made Yn whimper. Lando pushed the plate and glass to the side, watching as Yn got up and walked to him. The noises of the city came through the open windows, just like the cold wind, creating the perfect harmony with the way her bare steps hit the ground, the slight sound coming from it. 

The legs of Lando’s chair scraped on the ground when he pushed it just a tiny bit to make room for Yn. She sat on his lap, legs on either side of him, caging him in place, and giving him the feeling of her bare cunt against his dress pants. 

“Aren’t you wearing anything under the dress?” he asked, mocking shock on his expression. 

Yn merely shook her head, “It would just ruin it anyway.”

And just like that cooking conversations and random subjects were long forgotten, their lips smashed together in a heated kiss, and Yn moaned into his mouth when Lando gripped her waist and guided her movements on top of him, his cock hardening with each motion. 

*****************

“Come in my mouth,” she rasped, it sounded like a plea, and Lando couldn’t help but give it to her. At that moment he would give her anything and everything she asked for. The way her eyes blinked at him from between his legs, mascara a bit smudged on her cheeks, lips swollen from sucking, she looked like an angel. 

And he couldn’t deny an angel its request.

So when her mouth enveloped him again, cheeks hollowing and tongue twirling Lando gripped the table, hips buckling slightly and body finally succumbing to pleasure. He watched as his cum leaked from her mouth, his dick still spurting the white liquid and making it land on her chin and collarbone. 

Yn grinned up at him, licking her lips. 

He scooped cum from her chin using his finger and she eagerly opened her mouth, sucking his thumb and smiling up at him again. At that moment, he wanted them to be intimate enough, so he could grab a camera and save that image. Frame it. Store it under locks. Have it with him forever. Something about the way she looked and what they had just done stirred his insides again.

“Can I have mine now?” he scooped more cum this time from her collarbone and Yn nodded, parting her lips to him again. 

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi, honeybees! I hope you guys liked this piece. I've been meaning to write a long piece for Lan for a while now, and it felt good to put this together, I'm looking forward to writing more for him, let me know if you wanna see it! <3 I wanted to add a huge shout-out to Delia (@struggling-with-delia) for proofreading and beta-reading this (Ily, Dee!).

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#op: patreon pieces #op: patreon exclusive #millie writes smut #ln4 #lando norris #f1 smut #f1 x reader #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris smut #lando norris imagine #formula one fanfic #f1 2023 #f1 fandom

[sordezos]

Farewell promise II

Soo this is the second part! hope you like it!

Word count: 2232

Warnings: bit of angst, happy ending tho

Thanks @wososapologist for the amazing ideas!! x

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You open your eyes a minute after trying to relax yourself. You finally turn the engine off and turn your head to the right, logo big enough to make you realize again what you were doing here.

After Ingrid’s departure, you spent one year more at Wolfsburg, but it wasn’t the same, so when an offer from Chelsea appeared, you accepted without hesitation. It was known that you were rather a private person and not so talkative in public, but you and Guro hit it off instantly, become close friends after a few weeks. Time passed, you won your place at the starting squad along with a few titles and being recognized as one of the best wingers.

Your family used to tell you at every call that you had everything: friends, a good job with a good pay and at the peak of your career. At first, you agreed, not even thinking about that person that was on the back on your mind. So every time they asked when you were going to get a boyfriend you just laughed and waved them off, changing the topic after.

If someone asked Guro about your love life, she wouldn’t know what to say. Yes, she has seen you going on dates arranged by her and Erin, but every time you came back, excitement about a second date was never present, you just said the same thing: “We didn’t connect” or “He was nice, but I don’t think we hit it off” and went to prepare dinner. Usually, after you came back the three of you would have dinner and watch some movies. It was there when Guro noticed the way you would fidget with the bracelet placed on your wrist. But she didn’t push it, if you wanted to talk, she would give you all the time you needed.

The season came to an end and a decision had to be made. After Chelsea won the league, offers started to rain, and after talking with your agent about each one, both of you decided for a change. After signing up the contract you went to your shared apartment and shared the news with Guro.

You could tell that she was sad, but the encouraging comments made you think that you did the correct decision. It wasn’t until you were in your bed that you started to overthink, was it a hasty decision? It's true that it was the highest offer by far, but you weren’t sure about a lot of things. Well, about one thing, were you ready to see her again? Will she be happy or mad? Will things be the same? Before you could think more, exhaustion caught up to you and sleep consumed you until the morning.

After the official announcement was made, you went to a goodbye party organized by your now ex-teammates. While the driver got you to your new house after the flight, you took your phone to see the ton of messages from a few of your new teammates. You would lie if you say that disappointment didn’t cross your face when that teammate didn’t send a message.

So now you’re here, sit in your car and looking at the giant FC Barcelona logo on the building on your right, checking the time in order to not be late. Today you and Ona Battle were about to start your season at Barcelona, both looking for a change from the London weather.

The two of you have played together at national team camp, so you were good friends, and that’s why when she knocked of your window and smiled at you that you smiled back and got out of the car.

“Qué tal guapa? Con ganas de empezar?” (What’s up? Eager to start?) she asks you jumping on your back as soon as you get out, happiness radiating from her, so you can’t help it but laugh and take your training bag out of the car “Claro que si, te vas a bajar?” (Of course, but are you going to get down?) you say while you start walking “No” is all she says as she tightens her grip and laugh.

Upon entering the changing room you are meet by cheering and applause, your national teammates happy that the two of you are finally playing with them and not against them. They all hug Ona, and they all hug you, except one person. You sit in your assigned place next to Claudia and Patri, and they instantly start to talk to you about something and not wanting to think too much about her, you join the conversation, taping your wrist at the same time and head to the pitch a few minutes later with them.

Ingrid on the other side of the room, watches you leave and turns to Frido, already regretting not approaching to you a few minutes before. Her friend looks at her confused, and before she can ask any questions, Ingrid takes her hand get them out of the room, heading to the pitch. On their way there, Ingrid explains to her all, and by the time she has finished they are already at the pitch doing some paired drills. Frido takes her wrist taking a better look to the special bracelet and before Ingrid can ask her, Frido starts to scold her for not talking to you before.

From the other side of the pitch you see as she takes Ingrid’s hand rather confused, have you read things wrong? Where they something before and you haven’t seen it? Thankfully Patri seems to read your mind, because the next thing she does is explain to you about what happened between Mapi and Ingrid and the aftermath of it, telling you about how Ingrid ended things because she said that she feel things for other person, and before she could tell you anything about said person, the whistle blew and the team got prepared for a practice match.

To your luck, you were put in the same team as Ingrid, and both of you stood there, a few meters apart. Not knowing what to say, should you say something about what happened back there? Say that you’re sorry for her breakup? You finally decided on your words, so you turned around to look at her, just to find that she was looking at you. You finally opened your mouth only for the both to talk at the same time. A laugh came out from your mouth and Ingrid could feel the feelings that she has tried to put down for years coming to the surface at once. Before you could ask her why she looked serious the whistle let all of you know that the match was on, so you turned around and gave your best on the grass.

1 goal and two assists is what you get by the time practice has finished. Making your way to the water bottles you receive several congratulations from your teammates, more than one highlighting how you and Ingrid seems to read each other’s mind with your passes.

You finally go back to the changing rooms along Marta and Alexia, talking about strategies for the next match, taking the tape off your wrist and giving your opinion on a few plays. What you didn’t see is how Frido and Ingrid were behind, and Ingrid was listening to her teammate about the plan that she made for her in order to win you again. Ingrid herself building up the courage to talk to you after all the team left the locker room.

Taking your time on the shower, trying to get rid of your already sore muscles you hear the changing room door opening and closing, thinking it was the last teammate leaving, therefore you thought you were the only one left.

As you get dressed up and exit the showers, you're surprised to find Ingrid waiting for you by your locker. You send her a smile, and she smiles back looking more… relaxed?

But there's something different about Ingrid now—she seems more confident, more self-assured. And as you study her face, you can't help but notice the subtle changes that time has wrought. It's clear she's grown since you last saw her, both as a player and as a person.

Meanwhile, Ingrid studies your face and doesn’t fall to notice how now you are a bit taller than her, how you have let your hair grow longer, and how you seem more mature, looking at a small scar that you had since you were little just above your eyebrow.

Ingrid's eyes twinkle mischievously as she catches you staring, and she smirks teasingly. “Like what you see?” she quips, her tone playful.

You roll your eyes, unable to resist teasing her right back. “Please, I've seen better,” you retort, earning a mock offended gasp from Ingrid.

It seems like the right moment, so you decide to offer your condolences about her breakup with Mapi, not wanting to intrude.

Ingrid's expression flickers with a hint of sadness before she offers a small smile. “Yeah, we broke up,” she admits, her voice tinged with regret. “I realized I still had feelings for someone else.”

Your heart skips a beat at her words, a glimmer of hope sparking within you. Could it be...?

You catch the subtle shift in Ingrid's demeanor, the way her eyes search yours for understanding. You don’t know from where the confidence came from, but with a teasing grin, you nudge her playfully. “Oh, so you finally realized you couldn't live without me, huh?”

Ingrid laughs, a sound that you wouldn't mind listening to every day. “Something like that,” she teases back, her eyes dancing with mischief.

As you continue to chat, Ingrid's gaze drifts to the bracelet adorning your wrist—the same bracelet she gave you years ago before she left. Her expression softens, and she reaches out to touch it gently, her fingers tracing the familiar pattern.

“I can't believe you still have this,” she murmurs, her voice filled with affection.

You shrug nonchalantly, trying to hide the warmth that spreads through you at her touch. “What can I say? It's a good luck charm.”

Ingrid smiles, a genuine smile that reaches her eyes. “Well, it certainly seems to be working,” she says softly, her gaze lingering on yours.

Is when she let go of your hand that you notice her bracelet. “And what do we have here?” you ask her now taking her hand in yours.

She just smiles and shrugs “What can I say? I have excellent taste in jewelry.”

Your laughter fills the room, a melodic sound that sends shivers down her spine. “ Well, I can't argue with that, princesa” you quip, your eyes sparkling with affection.

Then, in a bold move that takes you by surprise, Ingrid asks if you'd like her to show you around the city.

As Ingrid's words hang in the air, the tension between you becomes palpable. Your hidden feelings under the surface threatening to scape at any moment.

Without a word, you step closer, your hands finding their way to Ingrid's waist, pulling her gently towards you. Ingrid's eyes widen slightly in surprise at the sudden intimacy, but she doesn't pull away. Instead, her hand finds the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair as she draws you closer.

The kiss is hesitant at first, a tentative exploration of emotions long suppressed. But as the seconds pass, it deepens. Your heart pounds in your chest as you lose yourself in the taste and feel of Ingrid's lips against yours.

When you finally pull back, breathless and exhilarated, Ingrid's eyes are filled with a mixture of wonder and longing. You can see the uncertainty lingering in her gaze, a silent question waiting to be answered.

 “So, is that a yes?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper, her fingers still tracing patterns on your skin.

“Well, I don't know,” you say, feigning uncertainty. “I've heard you're a bit rusty when it comes to giving tours. Might need a more experienced guide.”

Ingrid rolls her eyes playfully, a smirk playing on her lips. “Oh, please. I practically wrote the guidebook on this city,” she retorts, her tone teasing.

As Ingrid's fingers continue to trace patterns on your skin, you can't help but tease her in return, savoring the playful banter that has always been there between the two of you.

 “Well, in that case,” you say, a mischievous twinkle in your eyes, “I suppose I'll have to take my chances with the self-proclaimed expert guide.”

Ingrid chuckles softly, her smirk widening into a grin. “You won't regret it, elsking” she assures you, her voice laced with amusement.

With a playful grin, you lean in once more, capturing her lips in another sweet kiss. When you finally pull back, you can't help but laugh. “We have a lot of lost time to make up for, don't we cariño?” you remark, a hint of teasing in your voice.

Ingrid's eyes sparkle with amusement as she nods, a playful glint in her gaze. “Oh, definitely,” she replies, her tone filled with promise. “But I have a feeling we'll have no trouble catching up.”

And before you know it, you are hand in hand walking towards your car and talking about the movie you are going to see tonight.

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I just hope ya'll liked it, if you have any request feel free to tell me!

Any ideas for the next one?

#ingrid engen x reader #woso x reader #woso community #woso imagine #barca femini x reader

[spidybaby]

can we get a gavi the type pleaaaase i love your writing

Gavi the type

Summary: A compilation of the type of boyfriend I think Gavi would be ✨️

Warnings: none 🫶🏻

I feel like he's the type to somehow always mention you in a conversation. No matter if the conversation is about grass, he would find a way to mention you.

"I prefer pasta with not that much Parmesan cheese." Frenkie says.

"I'm more into a lot of cheese, like all the time." Ansu jokes, making some of the guys laugh.

They were at a restaurant, having a nice out time, not being able to do that much because of training and the season being super heavy.

"Well, for me it depends." Pablo says, thinking of the times when he orders pasta at a restaurant or when he eat it.

"Depends on what?" Pedri asks.

"Well if I'm trying for the first time the dish, I like to eat it with no cheese so I can taste it. But, for an example if I order some carbonara then I'm asking for extra cheese, my girlfriend also loves some extra cheese with her carbonara."

Raphinha erupts in laughs, making the others follow.

"What?" Pablo asks, confused about their reaction.

"You own me 50 euros, Raph." Pedri patts his back. "You just make me win some money."

"I don't get it."

"We made a bet, if you somehow mention your girlfriend in the first twenty minutes Raph, Frenkie and Robert owned me and Pedri."

"Assholes." he says, rolling his eyes smiling at the thought of them knowing he would mention you.

He's the type to be very clingy when you're alone and kinda serious when you're with other people. But don't get me wrong, in front of his family and his closest friends he was his normal touchy one. But while you're outside and there's cameras taking pictures of his every move, he's not the most confortable. (As we know his father said he's very shy)

"Let's go, pretty girl." he says, grabbing your hand to make you spin. "that dress is ufff" he whistle making you blush

"Well you look very handsome yourself mister Páez." you blow him a kiss.

"Mister Páez is my dad." he laughs. "But thank you miss." You both join his parents at the living room. All ready to go out.

He asked you to go with him to Sevilla for his vacations, you doubt it at first. Knowing your relationship was not that new but fresh enough to not know his parents. But Aurora helped him with getting you to say yes. So you did.

You both walk hand in hand outside of the residency where his house is. Aurora and you were talking about some dress she wanted.

The streets were pretty lonely, not that much people. Mostly older people. But as you walk closer to the restaurant you notice more and more people and they also began noticing Pablo.

He let go of you, thing he usually does when you were in public. He was very touchy when you were alone, even with his parents there. But in public he's more shy, specially because he knows people often takes pictures of him.

Once you got inside and seated, he took your hand again, kissing and caressing it with his tumb.

"Omg, do you ever let her go?" Aurora jokes, making you both blush and his parents laugh.

"It's young love, rora." Belen says, "and don't talk too much because Javi and you are just like that." She makes everyone laugh.

You understand his situation, appreciating that he wants to protect you as much as he can.

He's the type to invite you to every single match he plays.

He's the type to be a super supportive partner.

As a romantic partner is even better, because he would be involved in every step of any new project. Even when he's very busy with his football career, he's there for you.

"Are you sure about this?" he asks, confused about your abrupt decision. "I think you need to consider this a little bit more."

You were talking with him about college, you got a full scholarship into the University of Barcelona. Not sure if you wanted to go there you quickly threw the idea out. But when he found the letter they sent you, he was confused on why not even hear the whole proposal they offer you.

"I don't know, what if I'm not the right fit for this?" you say anxious about the whole thing.

"Don't say that, mi amor. You are the smartest person I've ever met."

"What if I'm not what they're looking for? what if I fail? I'm scared."

"Amor, please listen to me." he says, cuping your cheeks. "You're so smart, so hard working, such a good classmate and more. You're perfect for this, don't doubt it for a minute."

"You're the best, I love you."

"And I love you more."

He's the type to always kiss you, like everywhere (when you're in private, of course). There's like a thousand videos of him kissing the boys on the shoulder, on the cheek, on the head. He's a lover boy, he loves affection and loves giving affection.

"Are you ready to go?" He asks from outside the room. "We're going to be late, mi amor."

"I'm almost done. Can you help me here?"

He walks over to you, grabbing the necklace and clipping it for you.

"Let's go, pretty girl." He kisses your shoulder multiple times, moving from there to your neck and to your hair. "Princesa mía."

You smile at him, sending a kiss over the mirror. "Let's go."

You are on your way. He has his hands on yours, every red light he takes the opportunity to kiss it.

"Aurora, hola!" You hug her, saying your greetings while Pablo greets everyone else.

"You look amazing!"

"She always does." Pablo interrupts, hugging you by the waist and kissing your cheek. Making you blush.

He's the type to always post you on ig stories. I know he's very private and we all know he doesn't even control his insta post anymore, but I feel his stories are other thing, also he would only post you on his close friends.

He's on his phone all the time. We all see the barca videos of him on his phone. So I feel he's the type to always be in communication with you.

#football fanfic #football #football x you #football drabble #football angst #gavi drabble #gavi x reader #gavi imagine #pablo gavi #gavi #fc barca #barca #pedri x gavi #gavi angst #gavi fluff #gavi smut #gavi x you #gavi x yn #gavi fanfic

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Sebastian vettle being a totalbsf to love to lovers type of situation with the reader who's a driver for another team

This took me shorter time than expected and I enjoyed writing it so much. In my head it takes places around the time where Sebastian was driving for Red bull, the fic is about 2k words long

The deafening roar of the crowd echoed in the air as Y/n crossed the finish line, her heart pounding in her ears. She couldn't believe it, she won. It was not only her first win, but also she managed to do it in her rookie year. When she stepped out of the car, her team rushed towards her, their faces expressing happiness and pride.

That was the moment Y/n had dreamed of ever since she stepped a foot on the track for the first time. Hell, it was something she had dreamt of ever since she was a little kid. People told her she would never make it that far. Well, these people could go to hell now. Y/n was so proud of herself, that day she proved something.

Sebastian watched Y/n's team celebrate her victory. Even if she was on a rival team, she was still a friend of his. That was something nobody knew. It was their mutual decision to keep the friendship to themselves, just in case someone decided to accuse Y/n of making a career in motorsport thanks to her friendship with Sebastian. She deserved that win, she fought hard for it. In the past Y/n had to make choices, had to sacrifice a few things, a few friendships, one relationship with a guy who, according to Sebastian, didn't deserve her. But it all led her to where she was now - the first place on the podium. And Sebastian has been with her through all of this, they sticked together, quietly supporting each other, carefully staying out of cameras' sight. Of course people would accuse them of dating if they ever discovered their friendship.

He was so proud of her. He couldn't take eyes off her. Once she took her helmet off and Sebastian could see her face lit up with pure joy, she looked even more beautiful than ever. Their eyes met across the busy pitlane. Gosh, she was gorgeous. Maybe it was the way she smiled at him, but Sebastian felt his face turn red. Was she always that beautiful?

Just minutes later Y/n found herself running towards Sebastian. They didn't have much time right before the podium ceremony and between interviews.

"I did it, I did it!" Y/n exclaimed, almost causing her friend to fall over when she crashed her body into his, closing him in a tight hug. "Seb, I won the race!"

"That's great, Y/n. I'm so proud!" He managed to say despite being quite shocked. What happened to keeping the friendship a secret?

Not going to lie, it didn't feel real. It certainly made Sebastian's heart skip a bit. Of course, he didn't let his confusion ruin Y/n's mood. He reciprocated the embrace, putting one of his hands on Y/n's back and the other on the back of her head. Damn it, her hair was so soft, even after spending so much time in that car with her hair trapped under the helmet, it didn't lose the softness.

What the hell was he even thinking about? Why was he thinking about it? And again - what happened to their agreement? They were probably already caught by some camera and Y/n didn't seem to care even a tiny bit.

"Y/n..."

"Yes, Seb?"

"We... weren't supposed to display our friendship."

Y/n slightly pulled back out of the hug. Her smile was a little smaller now, after Sebastian pointed that out.

"I just..." She tried to explain, her voice soft with uncertainity. "Do you think it matters now?"

"Well, you started that. You didn't want people to know about our friendship for the sake of your career and I agreed. Because I... care about you."

Y/n's breath got stuck in her throat, she stayed silent for a longer moment. He cared about her. Of course he did, they were friends, he cared about her the same way she cared about him. That's what friends do. They care about each other. But... the tone of his voice. There was something in the way he said these words. Almost as if they had a secret meaning.

"I know. I never doubted that." She said eventually, ignoring her thoughts. "Thank you for being here for me. Sorry you didn't make it to the podium today."

"That's okay," Sebastian smiled, "now go, they're waiting for you. We can talk about the privacy of our friendship later."

Y/n nodded and headed towards the podium. She smiled, waving at people. Somehow, Sebastian's words hung in her mind. He cared about her. His words carried an emotional depth. Y/n knew there was a second meaning, but she had to yet figure out what it was.

The cameras did catch them that day. The whole world saw Y/n running towards Sebastian. Hugging him. And him hugging her back. But that was alright. They decided that from now on their friendship wasn't going to be a secret anymore. They kept supporting each other through ups and downs, to victories and defeats, and it was way easier when people were aware of their friendship.

Friendship. Whoever was close to them could easily tell that word didn't describe the bond between them well. It evolved into something more than that. It was subtle at first, hidden in fleeting glances or lingering touches that sparked a warmth in their hearts. It were the little things. The way Sebastian's gaze lingered a second too long, the way Y/n's heart raced whenever he was near. That spoke volumes. As days turned into weeks and weeks into months, the truth began to reveal itself.

Y/n and Sebastian were falling for each other, slowly and inevitably, without even realizing it themselves. The love grew between them slowly all along, but the both of them brushed off any evidence the other one could feel something more. Maybe they unconsciously sabotaged what could happen if they confessed their feelings. So many things could go wrong. Their conversations were filled with banter and jokes, trying to mask the tension. It was as if they were dancing on the edge of a cliff. One wrong move and everything goes down, including them.

At some point, it became frustrating. It wasn't even like tiptoeing around their emotions. It was like walking on eggshells. Their friendship became suddenly so fragile. They were heading towards something they were trying to avoid so desperately.

Sebastian decided to put an end to this. He had enough, he didn't want to continue tiptoeing around their feelings, pretending that everything was normal when it clearly wasn't. They needed to have a conversation about this.

It was evening. Another race weekend had passed and on the next day they were heading out of the hotel. Just as Y/n changed to pajamas, ready to sleep, she heard knocking on her door.

She sighed to herself, nor expecting any guests. Being the nice person she is, she decided to see who might have had a need to see her. She didn't necessarily expect to see her best friend.

"Sebastian? It's a bit late."

"I know," he walked inside the room, not waiting for an invitation, "but I'm sick of it. I can't keep going like that."

"What are you talking about?"

The girl knew what he meant, but she tried to avoid the topic like she had been avoiding it for the past few months.

"You know what I'm talking about," Sebastian ran his hands through his hair, "we can't keep pretending. We need to talk about us, Y/n."

Y/n felt her heart speed up. It was about to start pounding as fast and hard as it did the day she won her first race a few months ago.

"Seb, no." She refused, knowing that this conversation had been a long time coming, but that didn't make it any easier to face.

She knew him. She knew Sebastian was the kind of person who always had to get what they wanted. And now he wanted to talk. He wanted to have a serious conversation with her and he was going to have it.

But despite her reluctance, Y/n knew that she couldn't keep avoiding the inevitable. They needed to address the tension between them, to lay everything out on the table and finally confront their feelings.

"Alright, Sebastian," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. "Let's talk."

Sebastian took a deep breath. He had never been one to shy away from speaking his mind, to assertively pursue what he wanted. So why did he feel so vulnerable in this moment?

"Okay, fuck it." He said that rather ti himself. "Y/n, I think I am in love with you."

The words hung heavy in the air, filling the hotel room with tension. With desire. The silence was deadly.

Y/n felt the same, of course she did. She didn't know how or when it happened, but she was in love with her best friend. She had no idea why no words left her mouth that time. It felt as if something was stuck in her throat, nit allowing Y/n to make a sound.

It was just so overwhelming for her to have Sebastian admit his feelings just like that. He laid his feelings in front of her and now the choice was hers, the next move depended on her.

She wanted to tell Sebastian that she felt the same, that she had been longing for this moment as much as he had.

"I..." Y/n paused, god knows what for, "Seb, we can't. We can't be together. You're my best friend."

Her heart ached at the weight of the words she spoke. For a moment she wished she hadn't said that. But she did and she couldn't take that back.

"The healthiest relationships start with friendships. Y/n, I am in love with you and don't even try to tell me you don't feel the same." His eyes bore into her. He wasn't the man to give up easily and he certainly wasn't going to give up on a chance with the woman he loved. And he knew she loved him too, even if she was scared to admit it. But he needed her to say it.

It was obvious. He felt it. In the way she spoke, in the way her behavior changed around him. The both of them felt something more than friendship and it was evident.

As Y/n met his gaze, she realized that he was right. Even if she was running away from that thought, even if she was hiding this from herself, he was right. She was in love with him.

In that moment, Y/n knew that she couldn't deny the truth any longer. She was in love with Sebastian, just as he was in love with her. And no matter how hard they tried to resist it, their hearts were bound together, beating in the same rhythm.

"I don't know what to say." She admitted.

"The truth." He said softly. "Or don't say anything. That's okay too." His voice was filled with some kind of warmth, so familiar to Y/n.

"I don't wanna lose you, Seb."

"You won't. Our friendship is the foundation, we'll never lose that. I'll make sure of that. You mean everything to me." His gaze never left her. He appreciated how vulnerable she was being right now.

Y/n knew in that moment that she could trust him with her heart, that he would always be there for her no matter what.

"You mean everything to me too. I... I love you too." As she spoke these words, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her chest. A sense of peace washed over her body.

Y/n closed her eyes, feeling the tears approaching the surface, and she felt her best friend closing her in an embrace. Surrounded by the warmth of Sebastian's such close presence, Y/n knew that their love was stronger than any fear or uncertainty.

Together, they would defeat any storm that came their way, bound together by a love that was undeniable and strong. And now they weren't going to hide it. Not anymore. They were proud of their feelings and they were going to let everyone know, celebrating victories together with romantic gestures on the podium, everybody was going to know Y/n and Sebastian were together. The whole world could be against them, but it didn't matter as long as they had each other.

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #formula 1 x reader #Sebastian Vettel x reader #Sebastian Vettel fanfic #Sebastian Vettel imagine #Formula one x reader

[loviingpedri]

Did You Know I Loved You?

prompt: pedri never forgot you

warnings: cursing, grammar issues. all pictures used are not owned by me. not proofread.

word count: 1735

angst, some fluff

dedicated to all my pedri girlies <3

pedri and you were inseparable. from the day you walked into his parents' restaurant, the air suddenly changed. the town seemed to sparkle in tenerife when you two were exploring the island.

"let's play football," pedri slowly kicked the ball to you.

"it's so hot outside though," you groaned at the thought of kicking a ball in the burning sun.

"pleaseee, i wanna practice just for a little bit." you knew you couldn't say no to him. the decision ended up leaving you playing with him until the moon smiled at the duo.

little did you know, the moon never smiled and the sun never glistened after that day.

———————————————————————

“so what? you’re just gonna leave?” you shouted at pedri in disbelief.

“i can do what i want. you can’t control my decisions for the rest of my life,” he sighed and sat down to control his thoughts. “you knew this was gonna happen. i need to grow my career. i wanted to be in a work environment which i enjoyed. just don’t be so self-centered right now.”

“im self-centered? i didn’t even get a warning you would leave to this big city. you knew for weeks. fer knew for weeks. you said i was your family pedro, and family doesn’t hide things from each other.” the yelling echoed through the house. it was a situation that would never be fixed.

“i cant just tell my best friend that i’m leaving in 2 weeks. it would ruin everything. if you knew, you would’ve changed my mind and i wouldn’t be successful for anything.”

“pedro gonzalez, think for one fucking second. you kept a secret that could’ve changed everything. the moments we had together could’ve been more important than anything. i just needed one warning and this wouldn’t be happening. i don’t give a shit that you want to continue your passion. all i always wanted was for us to be happy.” it took everything in your power to not leave the house after you completely lashed out on him.

you knew deep down you didn’t want him to go because he was your first love. he was your first kiss, first friend, and first person to even talk to you in tenerife. you didn’t know who he was gonna see. you sure did not want him to talk to rich girls blinged out with their designer bags. you were scared shitless of how life would be without him. he was the only person who knew everything about you and what you should do in anxious situations.

then, the tears came. would he visit you? would he ever speak to you? would he write or text you? would you ever see him again? will there be time for the two of you to be together again.

“why are you crying? come on, its not that big of a deal.” he huffed loudly, shaking his head in stress that this was not the way this was suppose to happen.

“pedri, you are leaving to the city. i dont even know if i’ll ever get into contact with you anymore. you’ll have new friends, new people to worry about, and probably gonna knock someone up while you’re at it. can’t you just let me process this for one second.” and that’s when you made a mistake. doubting pedri was never a good idea. especially about the people he loved. especially when it came from the person who he loves the most.

pedri got up and looked at you for one last time. unexpectedly, he walked out the door without a word. you sat there in tears, debating to chase him or just let him go. the sobs fully came out.

———————————————————————

2 years had passed since he left. everyday, he thought about you. “what would y/n do? what would y/n say?” he questioned his decisions by following your mindset everyday. he begged his brother to tell how you were doing. never a word budged from fer since the huge fallout spread throughout the city.

tenerife was never the same. since both lost communication, it felt like the island itself was hopeless.

you, continued to push yourself through school. showing everyone that you would do well without him was your motivation. you’ve worked so hard to prove yourself to people that you had a job offer in barcelona.

of course, you accepted the job. people were upset that their beautiful youngin was finally moving on in life. moving into your modern apartment was like a fever dream. you’ve had your doubts, but it was definitely worth it. everyday, there would be news of pedri. pedri, barcelona’s best midfielder. pedri, one of the best young players in the world. pedri, the guy who gets every spanish girl all over him. hell, a video of him was going viral for taking a girl’s number and putting it into his pocket. obviously, it was implied that he would never have a single thought about you. fuck, it was stupid to even try to reach out for him.

after sitting in your living room while trying to find something to entertain yourself that wasn’t pedri related, you decided to go out for once. there seemed so much to do in the city instead of being lazy at home. walking for ages in the wind, you finally found a small cafe to rest. ordering your latte and sitting down, your thoughts were interrupted by a boy.

“excuse me, are you y/n?” said a boy that was not too much younger than you.

“yes i am,” you nodded your head slowly before taking a slow sip. it was a little awkward considering he looked at you in shock.

“i’m sorry. i’m pablo gavi. or known as gavi. you’re the person on pedri’s lock screen. he always talks about you during practice. holy shit, i never thought i would meet you. are you visiting him?”

what the fuck just happened. pedri still remembers me? why am i his lock screen? why does he talk about me? what does he say? for a moment, you sat there trying to understand what he said. gavi, confused on why you’re frozen in time, waved his hand in front of your face to make sure you’re okay.

“oh no, i’m not visiting. pedri and i don’t really talk anymore,” you shook your head and forced a little smile. only to ease the tension of gavi’s then saddened look.

“that’s weird. he talks about you like you’re his girlfriend or something. i thought you were doing long distance,” he shrugged his shoulders. “maybe you should visit camp nou. i think he’ll be happy to see you.”

quickly, you rejected his offer. “oh no, we exactly didn’t end off our friendship in the best terms. i think it’s better if we just don’t see each other again.”

“i insist. i’ll give you my number and i’ll text you all the details.” he took his arm giving you his phone. you bowed your head in defeat and put your phone number in.

unfortunately, everyone’s eyes had been on you and gavi.

———————————————————————

the next morning, your phone was blown up in notifications. your best friend constantly texting you on how you’re viral on twitter. paparazzi snapped pictures of your interaction with gavi.

“fuck.” you mumbled before groaning in defeat. you knew you had faced defeat in keeping a low-profile.

gavi, you knew, was for sure fucked. if pedri had seen the pictures, he was definitely getting beat up.

during practice, gavi kept his best to avoid his best friend. when pedri came up to him, he quickly turned pale.

“what’s wrong with you? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” pedri patted him on his back with a small laugh. gavi sighed in relief. he’s glad to have all his teeth and no black eye before the game.

“yeah, i’m fine.” and that’s when everything wasn’t. balde came up to him, rubbing his head and patting him.

“so, who’s the new girl? it’s all over the internet and not a word from you.” fuck you balde was the first thought that came to gavi’s head. gavi’s head was pounding. he didnt know what to say, how to react, or what to do.

“wow gavi. what other secrets are you keeping from us. let me see the picture balde.” pedri laughed even harder from the thought of gavi even approaching a girl. at that moment, gavi had to remind himself that he wasn’t 9 anymore. he couldn’t just simply run and cry his way out of this. luckily, balde only showed pedri the picture from the window. when you were facing towards him and could only see him offering his phone. gavi’s blood started to circulate again and his heart rate slowed.

“i cant really see her face, but she looks so familiar to me.” well no shit jackass. that was the girl you’ve been in love with since second grade. in fact, she’s sitting on the side waiting for you.

———————————————————————

your heart was about to jump out in any second. you sat there for two hours for them to be finished with training. each time pedri walked towards your direction, your nerves would start running around. luckily, he didnt see you a single time.

gavi texted you from the locker room that he was coming towards your direction. you never expected this to be happening. you were debating to run away, but your feet forced you to stay. you knew your mind was fighting to hate him, yet your heart convinced you to see him. even if it was the last time. finally, you heard footsteps coming.

pedri was wiping the sweat off his face. he came to a full stop. he thought he was hallucinating. he thought it was a dream. he stared at you for which felt like minutes. admiring your facial features, you sat there frozen. it was harder to read his facial expressions now. did he want you to leave? did he want you there? why isn’t he saying anything?

what felt like years, he started walking towards you. again, your nerves were still jumping. eventually, he made his way in front of you. suddenly, he smiled.

“holy shit you’re beautiful.” the state of confusion turned into love with one simple kiss. your lips connecting made the world happier. the air cleared. the atmosphere was different.

it felt peaceful.

———————————————————————

author’s note: hi everyone! i’m so glad you enjoyed my first story let’s be tourists. this is my second time i’m writing on tumblr, so im still getting use to it. i will be taking requests once i figure out how to set it up. please let me know if you have any suggestions on what i could improve on. thank you for all of the support !!! <3

#pedri gonzalez #pedri #pedri x reader #pedri imagine #fc barcelona #pedri x you #pedri x y/n #pedri gonzalez imagine #pedri gonzalez x reader #pedri gonzalez x you #pedri fanfic #pedri angst

[sparklecarehospital]

been reflecting on my year a bit, and i was thinking about something. i think i know what the best thing i did for myself this year was.

making cometcare public. making the ask blog.

ive had this AU stirring in my brain since 2019, ever since i got really attached to doomi during the haunted arc. one reason i went so long without revealing pollarrydoomi as a ship to readers was because doom's crush wasn't public information until late 2021.

i had kept his crush a mystery for 3 years, but revealed it after a fun experience where people figured out who it was through guessing. i'm pretty sure i did a poll about it? asking people to guess who they thought it was, and uni won the vote, meaning everyone had already figured it out.

after pollarrydoomi was revealed and i started drawing art for it and people made fanart for it, i still couldn't post any of my AU art because ally wasn't public and she and howie were in the AU. in july 2022, for the comic's birthday, i revealed ally as a character to the readers. others around the time had started to notice characters i had in pfps and i ended up telling everyone i did have pollarrydoomi ship kids, but i didn't make them public.

in november 2022, i revealed eve on toyhouse. after her reveal, i would soon reveal sly as well in december 2022 on my birthday (revealing sly as a birthday present to myself is such a funny gesture now that you guys know how important he is to me). over the next few weeks i revealed cream, frosty, and marco as well. all of the main cometkids except chem.

then one day someone out there suggested that i make an ask blog for the cometcare AU. it was such a spontaneous decision, and i didn't even really know what i was gonna do with it at first. i was just kinda messing around. but when i made the blog i realized that if i wanted this AU to be experienced in complete authenticity, i couldn't make uni cis.

so i revealed uni being trans through the blog, despite the fact i'd gone so many years without ever revealing her identity. why did i do it? there's a lot of reasons. not wanting to make her a "dad" in the AU contributed, but also i felt like it wouldn't be detrimental to the story to confirm a character being trans. it also made me (and the crew in general) a lot more comfortable being able to properly refer to uni with her actual pronouns.

making the ask blog really changed me, because finally i could share this little family and comfort story i'd built in my brain with the world and make it real and make content for it and let people consume it.

but what stopped me most of all?

i've said it many times before... but i felt like it was cringey.

i felt like making an AU with 93985893844 fankids in a ridiculous complicated polycule wasn't something a Serious content creator should do, and i was really worried the reception would be negative or people would think it was stupid or something. i did NOT expect it to become as popular as it is. the blog actually has more followers than the MAIN ASK BLOG for the canon comic. it was received SO POSITIVELY and the fact it was just kind of blows me away.

it means so much to me. being able to share the most special thing in my life with people and for people to actually like it and have fun with me and want to see it, and for me to be able to not have to follow strict professionalism about spoilers and chronological storytelling, and being able to change and add in things whenever i felt like it. it's such a freeing experience.

when i was a kid, i used to make stories and OCs and i didn't take them as seriously as i do the sparklecare reboot. this kind of turned into my entire life and career kinda, so i had to take it more seriously. but making this AU honestly just makes me feel like i'm a kid again, it makes me feel like i can have fun and literally do whatever the fuck i want without worrying what people think or if it's realistic or if it makes any sense.

i know though, that some people don't like pollarrydoomi. and i know why. whether it's because of being attached to barruni (of course, they're the canon ship and main characters, i get it) or just having discomfort with the idea of shipping doom with anyone when canonically he hasn't experienced a redemption arc... i get it. i know not everyone likes it.

and that's okay! people are entitled to having their own feelings about content. i understand it. and i've come to accept that's always going to be the case with anything i do with these characters.

but i'm still going to do this for myself. i do this because it makes me happy to just have fun and not worry about being serious all the time. it feels good, especially when it's with characters that are really really important to me.

cometcare is genuinely the most special and important thing i've ever made for myself, it's such a huge piece of my identity and it makes me who i am. and being able to make this story public and share it with people and share these things that have been in my brain for so long with others means so much to me.

that's why i think it was the best thing i've done this year. it's kind of literally changed my life to be able to talk about them. it's made me happier than i've ever been making content. i'm not just making it to entertain myself alone anymore, i'm making it to entertain others like i do with other stuff. and the fact people actually like it still is unbelievable to me.

so, i guess my outlook for next year as it comes is to continue to stop taking everything so seriously. i can tell my stories however i want to. i hope others can realize they can do this too.

please make whatever you want, whenever you what, as much as you want, even if it doesn't make sense or if it's "cringe". you will be so much happier when you realize as a creator you DON'T have to take all of this so seriously. the comic still exists and people read it even if i'm doing this. You Can Do Whatever You Want And Nobody Can Ever Stop You. the only person who can stop you is yourself when you let your inhibitions get in the way of your ability to create things for yourself.

have fun! life is too short to take everything you do seriously

#text #cometcare au #pollarrydoomi #long post

[lionlena]

We don't love each other (PedroPascalxreader) angst!

A/N: I can't believe I wrote ANGST. It breaks my heart. All because of this one gif. In my imagination, Tyler looks like Tyler Hoechlin.

Summary: You and Pedro are: friends with benefits, for many years. Your layout is simple and clear. You don't love each other. You're friends on a daily basis, you take care of each other... Sometimes you sleep together. You go on dates with other men and Pedro doesn't mind. Everything is simple until you accidentally hear Oscar say that Pedro loves you. Then you decide to tell him the truth and you ruin everything. 

Warnings: angst!!! smut, mentions of sex, friends with benefits, sad, broken hearts, age difference (reader is 15 years younger than Pedro)

*

You thought your arrangement with Pedro was transparent. You were friends with benefits. You two didn't spread it, but your closest friends guessed it.

You met Pedro a few years earlier when his career was just taking off. You liked each other and felt good about each other. You often went to parties together. One day you ended up in bed together. But you and Pedro didn't want something like that to end your friendship. Together, you made the decision to continue your friendship, adding benefits.

Men have needs... Women too.

You had to admit that Pedro was a truly wonderful man, not only in bed, but most of all, out of it. He took cared of you, gave you small gifts and comforted you after a date gone wrong. He was a great friend.

Unfortunately, over time, you realized that you felt something more for him. You really loved him, but you weren't going to tell him that. Pedro has always made it clear, "we don't love each other." He reinforced this position as his career began to take off. You understood and respected it. That's why you dated other men and didn't hide it from Pedro. You didn't sleep with him while you were in a relationship, and he respected that. Sometimes you were a little worried that Pedro rarely dated other women. But you explained it to yourself by his profession. He couldn't risk meeting someone who would announce to the world the next day: I slept with Pedro Pascal and he left me!!! He is an asshole!!!

Well, some women didn't understand that sleeping with a guy doesn't necessarily mean an engagement ring.

Yes, your arrangement with Pedro was clear, transparent and stable. You loved him, secretly, and he... He loved you as a friend. You thought so.

*

You were laughing on the phone when Pedro invited you to a party by the ocean that was supposed to last all weekend.

"Are you crazy! Did you really rent beach houses for everyone?"

"I want to celebrate my success! Y/N, you know me. I want everyone to have fun and no one to worry about how to get home."

"Are you suggesting we are going drink a lot?"

"A lot of!"

You both burst out laughing. You really enjoyed Pedro's success. He deserved it. Deserved all the love and attention. You knew what he went through in life. In your eyes, no one deserved it more that him.

"Okay. I think I can take a few days off."

"Wonderful. Just tell me, do you want a cottage for two?"

You bit your lip and started to think. Pedro obviously sensed that something was wrong and immediately asked:

"Hey, what's wrong? Did you and Tyler break up?"

"Uh, no... But things have gotten complicated for the moment and... I'd rather be alone."

"Okay, do you want to talk about it? I know I've been busy lately with The Last of Us , but we're still friends."

You smiled. Pedro was always worried about you, but you didn't want to spoil his mood.

"It's just a simple lovers' quarrel. He'll get over it."

"OK, see you soon."

"Bye, Pedrito."

You hung up and fell onto the couch. You lied when you said it was nothing. The truth was, you screwed everything up. You and Tyler were a couple for over seven months, it was your longest relationship. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Pedro was in Canada on the set of the show and rarely spoke. It was the truth you didn't want to admit. Tyler was handsome, kind, and... He took your relationship very seriously. A month ago at a family dinner, he knelt in front of you with an engagement ring, and you... You said no and ran.

You really didn't know why you did it. Why?! You tried to call Tyler many times and apologize to him, but he didn't answer. You weren't surprised at all. So you texted him explaining that you were just scared. But you knew it was a lie. The truth was, you missed Pedro. For his body, for having sex with him...

You screamed in rage and started throwing yourself on the couch.

After a few minutes, you decided to go through your wardrobe. Why would you care about Tyler when you could be with Pedro again in a few days. Even if he didn't love you, his presence could bring you comfort.

*

When you got out of the taxi a week later, you felt like you could breathe again and not think about Tyler.

The driver was just taking out your suitcase when you heard Pedro.

"Y/N!!!"

He ran straight at you and you jumped into his arms. You hugged him tightly and inhaled his scent. God, you finally felt good. You pulled back a bit to get a better look at him. You immediately noticed that he had a little more gray hair, but that only added to his hotness. He was wearing a white t-shirt and blue shorts. Even though he was wearing sunglasses, you could see how his eyes sparkled. You'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy it. Pedro really loved see you.

"I missed you" you said and cupped his cheek with your hand.

"Me too," he purred.

"Who is already?"

"Oscar, Sarah, Linda, Thomas, Adam, Helen... And you. My most important guest."

You slapped his chest and pulled away.

"Stop. I know it's only because you haven't had sex."

It was a harmless joke, but you could easily see Pedro tense up.

"Hey, it's a joke... You know, nothing has changed. Our arrangement. Right?"

Pedro shook himself and nodded. He grabbed your suitcase with one hand and wrapped his other around your waist. He leaned his head towards you and whispered in your ear.

"You look lovely in that dress."

You couldn't help the blush that spread across your cheeks.

A few minutes later, Pedro was leaning against the doorframe of your beach house. He watched you unpack your suitcase. You glanced at him and noticed that he was strangely restless.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?"

"It's more of a question for you." He replied and took a few steps towards you. "We've known each other for over ten years Y/N. We started friendship when you were in your twenties. I know you and I know when you don't tell me everything. Imagine how surprised I was when I called Laura."

You suddenly felt your mouth go dry. Laura was a friend of yours and spoke to you regularly.

"She was very surprised to hear you were going to the party because I quote, Seriously, I thought she was devastated after she turned down Tyler's engagement."

You tried to read Pedro's face, but he was unfazed. You didn't know if he was angry or disgusted with you. You sighed heavily and sat on the bed.

"What do you want to hear, Pedro? I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was a bitch who broke a good guy's heart."

Pedro shook his head and sat next to you. He grabbed your hand and his thumb began to make comforting circles on your skin.

"I just want to know why? What happened between you two? Is it my fault? Is it because of our arrangement?”

You looked at him surprised.

"How did you get that idea? Tyler doesn't know about us. He know we're just friends, so don't blame yourself." You rested your head on his shoulder. "It just freaked me out, you know... His whole family was there. It wasn't fair. Like he thought I was going to say 'yes' for sure if they were looking at me. We haven't even talked about it and he suddenly jumps out with ring. Who does that?"

Pedro put his arm around you and pulled you closer.

"I'm sorry Y/N. I just want you to be happy."

You had to bite your tongue not to reply, "I'm happy. Here and now, with you." Instead, you pulled away from him and smiled.

"Hey, I'm not here to cry. I want to party, dance, drink and hear all the cool stories from the set."

"You want to hear how everyone was looking for me while I was sleeping?"

You started laughing out loud.

"Why doesn't this surprise me? You're the best nap-mate."

*

You felt wonderful during the party. You completely forget about Tyler. Pedro's hands on your hips while dancing were enough to make you happy. Everyone was laughing and drinking. When it started to get colder, Pedro lit a fire and you all sat on blankets..

Pedro, of course, was sitting next to you and hugging you. Still, you were shaking.

"Do you want my sweatshirt? I can bring you one." he asked tenderly.

He's always taken such good care of you. You nodded, but before he got up, you yourself were on your feet.

"Wait, I'll go myself. I have to use the bathroom anyway."

"Okay, take which one you want."

You didn't even notice that Oscar was watching the two of you closely.

You used the bathroom and sat on the bed to look through Pedro's suitcase. You felt your phone slip out of your pocket, so you took it out and set it aside. Then you noticed the navy blue sweatshirt Pedro was wearing earlier. You put it on and smiled as you smelled his perfume. When you got back to the fire, you took your seat and started talking to the others. At three o'clock in the morning, everyone was tired and slowly began to return to their temporary homes. You were going to do it too, but not before Pedro hugged you and kissed your head.

"Goodnight, Sunshine."

"Night, Pedrito ."

You gave him one last hug and walked towards your beach house. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Oscar grab Pedro's elbow and pull him aside. You didn't care. They were very close and always had things to discuss.

You threw yourself on your bed with a big smile. You wanted to check your phone when you realized you left it in Pedro's house. You groaned and got up. However, when you were about to enter Pedro, you heard Oscar's voice through the ajar door.

"Dude, you're exaggerating."

"Leave me alone, I didn't do anything. You can see I don't have Y/N here."

You were about to leave when you realized they were talking about you.

Oscar sighed heavily.

"You were about to let it go. You said you'd distance yourself, and what are you doing... You stick to her like a horny teenager during the dance, and then... "You want my hoodie" How old are you?

Your heart was beating like crazy.

"It doesn't mean anything to her anyway and... I just wanted her to have fun and forget about Tyler."

Oscar snorted as if he didn't believe his friend's words at all.

"You have to stop it, Pedro. Loving Y/N is destroying you. You don't date other women. You don't start serious relationships..."

You wanted to keep listening, but Oscar moved closer to the entrance, and you were afraid he'd see you. Besides, you thought you'd heard enough. You decided to go back to your cottage and watch from the window when Oscar left Pedro.

The waiting was a nightmare. You jumped and squealed and bit your lip.

Pedro loved you!!! He loved you!!! You were so happy. You finally can told him the truth. Poor guy thought he meant nothing to you. You had to change it.

As soon as you saw that Oscar left Pedro's cottage, you ran to the mirror. You fixed your hair and makeup. You almost ran outside and in less than five minutes you were on the doorstep of the beach house. You knocked lightly and entered. Pedro was sitting on the bed looking tired. You giggled like a teenager.

"You are not sleep yet, old man?"

He lifted his head and looked at you surprised.

"Y/N, what are you doing here?"

You smiled at him and winked at him.

"I left my phone on your bed while I was getting your sweatshirt."

He turned around and when he saw your cell phone he nodded. You shifted restlessly from foot to foot. You couldn't wait any longer. Maybe it was the alcohol still coursing through your veins, but you just let it out.

"I love you."

"What?"

"I love you Pedro, I..."

Pedro jumped to his feet and shook his head furiously.

"NO!"

You were surprised by the anger you saw in his eyes.

"You're drunk," he growled.

Now you felt angry.

"No more than you," you gasped. "I know what I'm saying and you don't have to hide it anymore. Don't get upset. I accidentally overheard what Oscar was saying."

"You obviously didn't hear everything Y/N. You didn't hear me tell him that I don't want to love you, that it's just a problem..."

You felt like someone had punched you in the face.

"I'm a problem?"

Pedro huffed in annoyance and ran a hand over his face.

"Not you. My love for you is the problem. I'm not in a place where I'm supposed to love someone. Maybe I never will be. You're younger and you live a quiet life with no paparazzi. Do you really want to ruin it all for some fleeting feeling?"

You clenched your hands into fists.

"I've loved you for a long time, you fool!"

"Stop! Why are you ruining everything?! Why did you have to love me back?!"

 You couldn't believe that the same Pedro who hugged you when you cried was standing in front of you. The same one who brought you coffee in bed and kissed you on the forehead when you fell asleep. A complete stranger was standing in front of you. You couldn't hold back your tears anymore.

Pedro, seeing this, suddenly regained his composure. He looked at you resignedly.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I never meant to make you cry, but... I really don't want to love you."

He took a step towards you, but you jumped back. You quickly ran to where you left your phone and shouted:

"Leave me! Never come near me again!!!”

Then you just ran out of his beach house and locked yourself in yours. For a while you wondered if Pedro would try to get to you, but apparently he took your words to heart. You cried all night, and in the morning you packed up and called a taxi. By the time everyone woke up, you were already halfway home.

 Only one person saw you leave. His brown and tear-filled eyes watched intently as you disappeared from his life on forever.

*

Up all night on another red-eye I wish we never learned to fly Maybe we should just try To tell ourselves a good lie Didn't mean to make you cry Maybe won't you take it back? Say you were tryna make me laugh And nothing has to change today You didn't mean to say "I love you" I love you and I don't want to, ooh

Billie Eilish- I love you (cover/ male version)

Part II

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #Joel Miller #pedro pascal and you #angst #its so sad

[mirai-desu]

On the MSATD News

I didn't have time to post a knee-jerk reaction (which those of you from the Downton days know I was apt to do - thank you to all my long term mutuals of my side blog for sticking with me through those days), as I saw the news as I was getting ready to head out for work and it's been… a bit of a day.

Suffice it to say… I am devastated. And my initial reaction was (well after cursing), that it should have ended with S4, but with a different (happier) conclusion. It's called Miss Scarlet AND THE DUKE for a reason. And after all that happened in S4… it really feels like… what was it all for?? Especially if they knew WHEN FILMING THIS?? "Goodbye for now" is NOT "goodbye forever." They really, really really fumbled this.

There's a lot of theories going around, and I will admit it's too hard for me to listen to Stuart's new interview, but going off what other's have said and the parts of the transcript I did manage to read… I just cannot feel like this was actually his decision unless there's something else going on with him (either in his personal life or maybe he has some secret role he's got, because supposedly he hasn't worked since he did ADR on S4). He's been the captain of the ship, and he has always been enthusiastic with discussing the show and had just great insight into playing William. It doesn't feel like he himself was ready to move onto other things (and that's not even how it's worded - some BS about how the show needed it him to be gone for ~longevity~ of the show), like I've seen with other actors are on shows (e.g. Dan Stevens). He still promoted S3 (which came out in the UK after they filmed S4), he still even promoted S4! He was an executive producer for S4!!! Nothing makes sense!

So if it's due to RN… why keep having the other characters say William was only going to be gone a year? Why bother to have the flashback? why bother to have him stay at at Eliza's to recover?? hell I'm surprised they just didn't keep in the coma then--

But really, why even bother to have Eliza write to him? Or have Ivy say what she said to her?? The time apart was supposed to be them looking at their options. They literally foreshadowed him joining Eliza at her agency upon his return. So… what happened?

If it was actually for personal reasons that Stuart left, he has a right to his privacy. But then they should have rewritten S4 to be the end then, since they knew all this time. I can't believe we are getting the full story on this, one way or the other. The more and more I think about it... I do think it was RN's doing though.

Just two nights ago I drafted up a whole meta extolling how one of the best things this show has done has been how they developed William and how he grew as a character. The progression he made as he not only accepted Eliza having a career but encouraging her. His mentorship of Fitzroy. How he came from nothing, from a teenager living on the streets, to become an inspector at Scotland Yard. But they have chosen to toss that all out the window.

Who knows, maybe S5 ends with Eliza deciding to go to New York. But it doesn't seem like they are handling this like Babington's absence in Sanditon. They will make Eliza quickly fall for someone else, and slap fans in the face who have been following their friends to lovers slow burn for five years (because we had to wait for S2 in the first place thanks to the pandemic). And what sucks is that we still got promo saying they are in love with each other. From Stuart, from Kate, from Rachael New herself. We have still gotten promo promoting the romance. Why not have them have a big fight then or something, idk. They gave us hope. And you know what Fellowes says about false hope.

So I'm just supposed to believe that William gives up on Eliza and doesn't return…? No, I cannot. As much as we hated the deaths on DA when they wrote out actors, at least those characters still died in love with their spouses. And while I'd still be foaming at the mouth in anger if they killed him off… yeah.

William's last lines of the show is a flashback including him saying "is it all worth it?" And the answer is… no it's not.

#yeah I'm risking putting this in the tag #miss scarlet and the duke #msatd spoilers #honestly thinking about every damn scene they ever had #WHAT WAS IT ALL FOR #thought of the jewelry store scene and died #also does this make Arabella right? gross. #also I guess Alibi doesn't give a shit about the ratings for the last two episodes left to air in the UK #also I didn't bring up Theo J*mes because he left after S1 and it was different #if they recast William with Ben Lloyd-Hughes I'd take it #(wouldn't be the same but you know) #but don't make him a new character it doesn't work here with William still alive #I'm tired of men going to America #iykyk

[three--rings]

Okay so I know we're in this big anti-sex cultural moment.

And I know my own personal standards on this issue are way out there. I am a sex first relationship later person. It's just how I roll. So I'm biased.

But I have to say, everyone talks like it's definitely for sure that it was a bad idea for Ed and Stede to have sex when they did.

And honestly, like, I'm not even arguing with that. It was a very understandable time for them to have sex. There should have been some more talking either before or AFTER about how they were both feeling. But it wasn't ideal perhaps.

Still I want to be clear: I don't think them having sex is the fucking problem here.

Ed is overwhelmed and unsure of where he fits right now. He's been through a lot of trauma recently (and caused a lot of course.) So it's understandable why he'd feel unprepared to add sex with Stede on top of it all.

However, they both do very much want to have sex with each other. And when two people are in love and really attracted to each other and really want to have sex, even if they have other reasons why they are holding back from it...well, eventually they're going to have sex. Sooner or later, but probably sooner.

Time in this show is very difficult to gauge, especially this season. So some time has passed between the moonlight scene and the beginning of ep 6. Ed had his leathers back, he's not wearing the bell, things have changed and progressed. It's not the next day. Probably.

We don't get to know how much time it's been or what has been said in between. Ed seems basically in the same place mentally. If not a worse one. Progress is not being made.

It's easy to criticize Stede for initiating a rather aggressive pounce on Ed in the wake of his trauma. But he's clearly not thinking. That's his issue, separate from the question of whether Ed is ready, so I'm not going to get into it. But he does pause, and he looks to Ed for permission, which Ed gives before enthusiastically and passionately joining in.

They both just went through a scary time. They both are seeking comfort in each other. It means sooner comes rather than later in the inevitable 'they're GOING to fuck' race. I know that sentence is a trashfire but let's move on.

Ed is happy in the morning. He's a little nervous, with the breakfast, but he feels good about dumping his leathers. He's come to a decision. Even after he starts to get nervous after Stede talks about their career, he's mostly fine when they go eat. Relaxed, happy about what happened.

And then all the fame stuff starts and he's fine at first. He talks to Jackie and is fine about it until Jackie is like yeah but you have a problem with your man. He talks to Izzy.

Now he's REALLY done a 180. He doesn't see his desired life and Stede's desired life matching up. Stede apparently doesn't understand Ed and where he's at if he thinks they're going to be pirates together now.

This is the problem. This is what upsets Ed. he spirals for hours. He's running scenarios and coming to negative conclusions. He's not valuable or loveable if he's not Blackbeard. Stede doesn't want him if he doesn't fit into that life. He needs to move on. He is panicked and freaking out.

Then he talks to Stede, after already making the decision to leave and go fishing. Like, let's be clear, he doesn't decide that during their fight. He's decided and signed on. He's just saying goodbye.

It's only then that he brings up the sex. He does throw blame at Stede for it a bit, which I think is mostly fair. But he also isn't accounting for Stede's state of mind at the time. They were both off tilt. But he digs into that, and to me, I think he's using the sex as an excuse.

He didn't have a problem with the sex itself. He was happy in the morning and after. Smiling, smug, cute, loved up, having heart to hearts about mermaids and letters.

It was all the life/identity stuff that crashed in that shifted him. But he doesn't know how to talk about that. He doesn't know how to explain it or be vulnerable about his worst fears and self-worth issues.

So he goes on offense and says hey, actually, this is your fault. He picks the issue he has words for, the only one they've actually talked at all about.

Stede is NOT wrong when he identifies Ed as panicking and wanting to run. Stede is recognizing the behavior from himself.

Just like it's not about Ed wanting to fish, it's not about them going too fast. It's about them not communicating about their deepest needs and desires and fears.

They can have sex or not have sex, if they're not communicating it won't work. They could continue fucking like rabbits and have long talks in between sessions and get really really far. Or do what they've been doing which is NOT having sex and also not communicating which can go on forever and they won't get closer to happy.

I feel like fandom has latched on to this one thing as The Problem, because it's all Ed SAID was a problem. But we have lots of evidence otherwise.

I mean, even the conversation...Ed says it's too fast, Stede is like...okay well we can do whatever. He doesn't get defensive even though he's hurt. But that's not good enough, because that's not actually the problem. But at that point Ed really starts running away.

And they start getting more heated, both being sloppy at expressing themselves. (Stede is unfortunately pretty freaking drunk.)

I think they are both very avoidant personalities when it comes to this kind of thing, this kind of deeply personal conflict. Their anxieties keep them from being honest. And so the sex combined with Stede's killing of a man, and newfound fame, that all became a crisis that forced them to confront these issues. I think ultimately probably for the best, instead of not addressing them.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd meta #my meta #I still have barely slept since the episodes dropped #I don't even know if this makes any sense #will I put it in drafts? nah #here have brain vomit

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: If This Is Love, It's Forever {5}

Title: If This Is Love, It’s Forever {5}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Angst, Cursing, Heartache, Time Jump, Fluff, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of death, TW: Death Penalty, TW: Execution, PLENTY OF WORDS

Words: 13.4k {Sorry. I refused to split this up again}

Summary: When the dust settles you have to decide where that leaves you and Lewis. Is it love? If so, could it be forever?

Note: Our finale is here! The end of the road folks! I hate to end on an odd number (if you’ve been here long you’ll know why) but I think it’s time we stopped torturing them now. LOL. Thank you all for sticking through all 42k of this. 42k y’all. WOW. Y’all are amazing to me.

Note II: Look out for the one-shot titled “Smell The Roses” about this garden picnic and rose maze sometime in the future. It was too good to pass up.

As always, thank you for reading.

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!

****NOT Edited/Proofread****

Previous: If This Is Love, I Don't Want It {1} | If This Is Love, You Need To Prove It {2} | If This Is Love, You Need To Mean It {3} | If This Is Love, You Gotta Ride For Me {4}

-Lewis-

He hadn’t felt like this since he’d been a young boy sitting in the headmaster’s office after he’d gotten into trouble for causing some sort of ruckus and was waiting to hear if he would be sent home for a spell of completely expelled. He’d always been lucky and had just gotten a few days home for his antics but right now he feared his luck had run out. He’d after all done more than caused a bit of ruckus. He’d knowingly slept with his boss’s daughter though the interaction or any similar to it had been explicitly forbidden in his contract. He’d then gone on to break said boss’s daughter’s heart. Oh, he’d caused more than a wee bit of ruckus. He may have blown up his entire career.

When things had begun he’d told himself to stay away from you because anything but professionalism was begging for trouble but the more he heard of you, the more he learned he liked. It didn’t take him long to develop an intrigue that turned to fondness then desire. The rest as they say was history. Now he might be history. He thought back over his long career in F1 and with Mercedes and all he’d accomplished thus far. Then he thought about all he still wanted to accomplish but for the first time, he didn’t feel an all-encompassing pressure to get it done. He felt calm as if he was satisfied with what he had done.

It was a strange feeling, a feeling he hadn’t quite experienced before, a feeling he only remembered when he’d made up his mind to genuinely pursue you then wholeheartedly commit to being with you despite the trouble it could and would bring him. He’d deemed you worth it and now, in the face of the end of his career, he still deemed you worth it.

“So. Let me get this crystal. Knowing your contract and how strictly forbidden any non-professional interactions are within the organization you purposely pursued the one person you absolutely knew you should stay away from. Is that correct?”

He clasped his hands tighter then nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Hm. For how long?”

“I’m sorry?”

“How long did you pursue my daughter?”

Keeping eye contact with him, he answered, “A year, sir.”

Jordan looked shocked and impressed. “A whole year you deliberately broke the stipulations in your contract.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then you went even further and deflowered my daughter, my one and only child, probably the future of this organization. You went and just—slept with her bringing her into your little—harem!”

“No sir.”

“No? So you did not deflower her?”

Sighing, he lowered his head for the first time, but then immediately looked back to your father.

“I did—deflower her, but I did not bring her into my harem. I do not have a harem sir and I did not know beforehand that your daughter was a virgin. I didn’t know until--.”

“If you had known would you have stayed away from her? If you had known the consequences of your decisions would you have allowed things to go this far?!”

Jordan’s voice boomed around the office. He understood that your father was furious about the situation and angry with him. He’d crossed a line he should not have but in reality, he’d come to realize that it was a line he was meant to cross because he was convinced you were the one.

Mr. Y/L/N, sir. I understand I crossed a line, I understand that to you I’ve committed a capital offense and I understand you are angry with me for my actions and what you may see as a blatant disregard for structure, rules, and authority, and I accept the consequences of my decisions, I accept whatever you decide you want to do with me because of it and I also sincerely apologize to you for how things have turned out. I am very, very sorry,” he calmly and clearly stated before taking a breath to continue. “However, I see now that there was no way that I would have been able to stay away from your daughter. It wasn’t possible from the beginning because what’s meant to be cannot be avoided and I believe that we were meant for one another.”

Your father stood behind his desk his eyes boring into his sifting through everything he was searching for the truth of not only his words, but his character as well. He was trying to figure out what kind of man he was and if he liked that man. Long minutes stretched with silence and with each minute his anxieties increased.

Jordan sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose then turned to the expansive windows behind him that looked out over London.

“I am utterly exhausted. It has been the longest weekend and I fear there are many more to come.”

He felt bad for the man. His world had crashed on him those years ago when your mother passed but had utterly caved in now with his realization he’d been shacking up with his 1st wife’s killer and had been played all these years. He could imagine how much he was struggling—how much you both were suffering.

“Y/N is all I’ve ever had, and I was supposed to protect her. I couldn’t but I refuse to fail her again,” he said.

“With all due respect sir, you don’t have to protect her from me. I have no intention of hurting her.”

Jordan spun around eyes red, “Yet you already have.”

He pulled out his chair, sat then sighed again.

“I didn’t mean to I was trying to protect her,” he rushed out.

Jordan scoffed. “Funny that seemed to be the running theme here. We were both trying to protect her but caused her harm.”

Jordan sighed long and loud then closed his eyes.

“What is it that you want Lewis? Why risk everything? Why risk your career?”

“I love her.”

Jordan studied him for a long moment.

“Why? So you can be one step closer to having Mercedes in your hands through her and making a real change in the sport?”

He scoffed. “I don’t want Mercedes. The reasons I love her have nothing to do with this organization or this sport. I love her because she’s seen everything, my worst and unfavorable, and still took a chance on me, she still fell in love with me while expecting me to break her heart. I love her because she’s the sun and the moon to me, the rise and set of every day. She makes me feel things I was always scared to, things I’d convinced myself I didn’t need in my life because they were risky and distracting. She’s shown me that truly loving is braver than driving a tiny car that goes upwards of 200 miles per hour. I love her because she never tried to make me love her and simply let me be who I am.”

Jordan scoffed again.

“I just want her, sir.”

“What if the only way for you to have her is by me ending your contract with Mercedes? What if to have her you have to end your career?”

Hearing those words he thought he would have felt panic, regret, or fear but he felt none of those things. Besides the tiny pangs of disappointment, he felt calm.

“So be it. I’m almost 40 many I started with have already retired. If it’s my time to go I’m all right with it. I’m not all right with not having her in my life.”

Jordan was expressionless as he took him in. “Okay.”

He reached into his desk and took out a single piece of paper and placed it atop the desk.

“Sign this. It’s your release from your contract and the organization effective within 1 month’s time at the close of the season. Once it’s signed I will approve of your relationship.”

He stared at the paper on the desk while he listened to Jordan explain what he would be entitled to and would have to agree to. All in all, he would be on the losing end as his contract wasn’t set to be up for another 4 years and he’d have to pay back most of the signed-upon salary, plus the perks and preplanned events and ops. It would be a nightmare to maneuver. It would really be like starting over, a life without F1.

Jordan placed a fancy quill-tipped fountain pen on the desk and waited for him. He didn’t hesitate, he stood and closed the space between the chair and the desk then signed his name on the stipulated line then took his seat again. Jordan looked impressed.

“Just like that? You didn’t even read it.”

“I trust you, sir. I always have. Plus it doesn’t bother me in the least to sign this. She’s worth so much more.”

Jordan slowly smiled then hung his head back. He took the paper off the table looked it over then stared at him as he ripped it in half, then ripped the halves into halves, and so on until the paper was nothing more than pieces of trash.

“Wha—.”

“Any man who would end his stellar career with little to no hesitation just might be worthy enough for my daughter.”

He was afraid to hope but the tendrils had begun to take root.

“Sir--.”

“This was a test Lewis, a test you passed. While I am angry with you for hurting my daughter I find myself sympathizing with you on just wanting to protect her. I don’t see your actions as vicious or that you wanted to hurt her. I think you made the wrong decisions with good intentions. I can understand a man of that caliber. You get to keep your career, however, that is all I can assure you that you will keep. Y/N is—her own woman and it is up to her what she chooses to do. I won’t stand in your way and give my approval should she decide to openly date you.”

His smile stretched but it only lasted a few seconds before his brain registered Jordan’s words on if you chose to be with him. He had no idea if that was something you’d choose. He knew how hurt you were, and he knew that hurt wouldn’t disappear over a weekend.

“Go on—get out of here. I presume you have plenty of groveling to do and her flight takes off from Heathrow in just under an hour.”

His eyes widened. “Flight?”

“You know Y/N, when the tough gets going so does she.”

Leaping to his feet he hurried to the door but stopped.

“Thank you sir.”

“Don’t make this another regret of mine Lewis. She is the only good thing left in my life.”

“I understand, sir.”

With that, he ran out of the office and through the building trying to get to his car. He’d had the foresight to drive rather than being driven today and now he was glad for it. Need for speed was more than a game for him, it was his life. Pressing the start button, he buckled up before revving his engine and swerved out of his parking spot in one move. Knowing the streets well he found his way to the motorway.

Once he saw open asphalt, he kicked the gear up and accelerated well over the speed limit. On average it would take almost an hour to get to the airport from where he was and he needed to get there in 30 minutes. He had no time to waste so he applied his F1 driving. He was risking a ticket, but it was another thing you were well worth.

~~~~~~~~~~~

-Y/N-

You glanced at your watch again and flinched at the pain that met you. You’d promptly checked yourself out of the hospital against the doctor’s advice even though you had 3 incomplete fractured ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and low levels of so many vitamins that they were surprised you hadn’t crashed sooner. You insisted you’d be fine and would recuperate better away from a hospital. It took one hour at home for you to realize that you’d recuperate better anywhere but where you were.

4 hours later you were here waiting for the family jet to be fueled and serviced so you could take off. It couldn’t happen soon enough for you. It had been a hectic weekend with being hospitalized and having numerous detectives in and out of your room for statements, updates, and follow-ups. You’d told the story until you were purple in the face and hoarse. It hadn’t taken long for charges to be brought up not only for Aleeza but her stupid brother as well.

They were looking at several counts of attempted murder, bodily harm, kidnapping, murder itself, and more that stemmed from their whole life of crime pertaining to your family. The estimated punishment the detectives mentioned was 45 to life but depending on family feedback and feelings the death penalty could be possible for the vicious and egregious way they carried out their sinister murder plan for your mother. The one thing you knew was though you murdering Aleeza may not be what your mother wanted for you, death is what she deserved, and you would petition the judges to deliver that verdict. She had no right to continue to take any breath when she’d been the sole reason your mother had taken her last. You’d see to it that you watched it happen.

Keeping everything out of the press was a task and a half for your father and one that had practically greyed him within days. Every time you looked at him you could tell how guilty he felt. Everything from him oozed turmoil. You could tell he was broken but he couldn’t fall apart because he was trying to keep himself together for you. It was too heartbreaking for you to watch.

You bit your bottom lip, closed your eyes, then took several slow calming breaths. While the rage had passed you were now stuck with overwhelming sadness and pain and through all that your broken heart made it even harder to breathe. You knew leaving was probably not the best idea, you know it was your built-in defense mechanism rearing its head trying to get you to safety.

Since your mother passed you’ve been running and using travel as an excuse when really it was your need to distance yourself from whatever the source of the stressor was. Yes, you were leaving England to try to finish healing from the trauma of all that had happened but deep down you knew you were also leaving to put some space between you and Lewis.

While in the hospital you’d found a strange peace over your family drama. Yes, you were angry that your mother was deliberately taken from you but nailing the culprit to the wall had felt sort of cathartic like you’d personally gotten the justice your mother required. It made it easier to come to terms with your new reality. Since you didn’t have to work through that you found yourself thinking about your situation with Lewis.

Right now as it was, everything was still very much in the air. You’d come to terms with the reasons he’d done what he did, but you were still grappling with the fact he’d chosen to play Mr. Fix it all by himself rather than cluing you in so you could tackle it together like a real couple and real partners would. When you went down that path of thinking you began to doubt he was ever really committed or on the same page as you wanting to be your partner, and in something more than a hidden sordid affair.

Those thoughts led you to the large purple elephant in your head, the one that you’d ignored from the beginning. The elephant that was Lewis’ track record and all the rumors and whispers that followed him about his inability to commit and settle down, his penchant for no strings attached. After you’d told him you loved him and him not saying it back you worried that for him all you were was an illicit affair with the boss’ daughter, another attempt on his part for excitement.

His words that day at his Monaco house still echoed in your head.

“You knew what it was and what it wasn’t. You knew I didn’t do monogamy. You knew that wasn’t who I was. You saw the signs and the proof. Hell, you even mocked it right in my face. Yet you thought you could change me. You thought you were going to be different, thought you were not like other girls. Get the fuck out of here!”

His eyes had been so cold, so emotionless as if he were looking right through you without actually seeing you, without recognizing who you thought you meant to him.

“Yeah right! Let’s be real with each other right now Y/N. You knew what I wanted from the very beginning. You knew what it was I could and couldn’t offer. You entertained it. It’s your fault for thinking this was any different than what it was!”

He spoke his words so clearly, so precisely without one stutter or fumble. He spoke them like they were his truth, a truth you hadn’t wanted to face but feared in the deep recesses of your heart.

“Damn, that was a good line. Right? For fuck’s sake Y/N, I’d just cum harder than I’d ever cum before because of how amazing you felt. I was seeing stars. You can’t hold me accountable for any of that shit I said.”

Was it a line? Was it truth? What was real from fake? What was a show? What was reality? When lies become truths how do you tell what’s the truth from a lie?

“We’re here now right. The facts are simple, this is the life I want to lead now. I drive fast cars and like everything else just as fast.”

It was who everyone made him out to be. A playboy, a fuckboi, a down for a good time not for a heart. For so long so many women used him as a good time. They tried to see who would be able to get a piece of him or even make him commit and none of them were ever successful. They’d crashed and burned and been left with an incredible story to tell no one because of the NDAs but nothing more.

“It was a lie,” you whispered to yourself. “You were just another conquest. It wasn’t real.”

It was something you’d worried about for a while, then when he’d proved and confirmed it in Monaco it tore you apart. However, when he confessed his so-called love for you, it left you feeling nothing but turmoil. What was real and what was a lie? How could you trust him? Had you really even known him in the first place?

Your phone rang, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Hello? Okay, thank you. I’ll be there.”

You ended the call, stood then took up your purse. “In 12 hours you’ll be on a beach far away from this—far away from him,” you assured yourself before you began walking to the door of the private waiting area where you were waiting for the jet to be ready.

This part of the airport was only for private jet access for landings and takeoffs and in order to get access to it you had to be on the list of frequent users. You bought the first row of magazines you saw then took the escalator down to the tarmac. Before you walked out the door you slipped your sunglasses on and took a deep breath.

The pilot, co-pilot, and the two attendants for the jet stood outside with pleasant and welcoming smiles on their faces. You were almost there, you said to yourself. Suddenly when you were mere steps from the lowered steps of the jet the loud rev of a motor drew your attention to your left. You watched as a low-sitting cherry red Lambo Sport quickly sped toward you. It swerved to the right in a messy and hurried parking job and just from the effortless move your subconscious knew who it was.

The door swung up and out stepped Lewis. He wore his dark sunglasses as he looked around. When he looked in your direction your belly did backflips.

“Shit,” you rushed out.

Your head told you to keep moving and get to the jet but you stood there motionless. Lewis took quick steps to you closing your window for escape within 6 or 7 strides. You hardly registered him standing there before you with his sunglasses off and lips moving with no sound. It wasn’t until you realized he was holding your hands did you snap out of your stupor.

“Y/N.”

You looked down at your joined hands then pulled yours back while widening the space between you.

“Em, uh—what’re you doing here?”

You saw the disappointment in his eyes from your actions, but you ignored it.

“Um—your father told me where you were.”

You scoffed then shook your head. “Ha, I see the great Lewis Hamilton is above consequences for his actions. Of course.”

You began walking again but Lewis slid in front of you blocking your path.

“No. I actually got a text from your dad about the long list of consequences for my actions. Consequences that I’ll be going through for so many months.”

You nodded. “Ah, there it is, regret.”

You stepped around him and continued walking. However, again, Lewis crept in front of you stopping you.

“The only thing I regret is hurting you.”

You studied him for a moment and in that moment your heart softened. Fighting it, you stepped around him and continued, “One regret in life, most would be jealous.”

“I didn’t say I have only one regret in life. I have a few but the only two pertaining to you were hurting you and not telling you how much I loved you sooner.”

That had you stopping in your tracks. You fought with everything in you to not look back at him and it was one of the hardest fights of your life.

“I’m sorry angel eyes. I’m so, so sorry. I should have told you the minute I knew I was in love with you. I should have told you that night in New York when we were at the Empire State Building. I should have said it after I told you that you make me want forever. I should have never chickened out and told you that night we made love, I should have told you freely often, so you knew just what you meant to me.”

You felt his heat behind you telling you he’d crept closer to you. When he stepped in front of you, you didn’t move this time. The war within you had picked up and it only increased your pain. Your tears suddenly rolled down your cheeks pooling around the rim of the sunglasses you wore. Your glasses were so dark you knew he couldn’t tell you were bawling and you wanted to keep it that way. If only your bottom lip would listen. You felt its slight tremble increase to full-on quivering.

“I know you’re angry with me. I know with everything that has happened and my mistakes you—you may even hate me and that breaks me in ways you wouldn’t even understand. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away and work through it together, I’m sorry I went ahead and made the wrong choices. I’m sorry for the things I said, I’m sorry for how it looked. I’m sorry for all of it.”

Sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, you tried to steady it, but it was useless. It was like the harder you tried to keep the tears at bay and your features neutral the more your body rebelled.

“I love you and I don’t want to lose you. This whole time I realized I’m terrified of losing you. Terrified you’ll walk away and decide that I’m more trouble than I’m worth. I’m terrified you are going to decide we shouldn’t be together and the thought of that is just—painful. I don’t want a reality we’re not together in.”

Lewis stood there searching the lens of your sunglasses as if he could really see your eyes. You could see the desperation in his and it made him look frazzled. You could tell he hadn’t planned any of this. He was spitballing and hoping something hit home. This was so out of character for him. This was a man who planned everything, he had the foresight of a wizard and saw an exorbitant amount of possible futures that he seemed prepared for all of them. This couldn’t have been the one situation he never saw coming. Could he really mean what he was saying? Part of you didn’t believe it and the other part was too afraid to believe it.

“I don’t want to waste any more time Y/N. I love you, I want you and I need you in my life and I will do anything to make that happen.”

“There’s nothing you can do,” you managed to get out.

Lewis’ brow crinkled as his confusion set in.

“I don’t believe that Y/N. You don’t even sound like you believe it.”

You dug your nails into your palm and the pain from it allowed you to regain control of your legs. However, before you could step around him, Lewis was reaching for your glasses. He lowered them down your nose bridge revealing your flooded eyes then slid them off completely showcasing to everyone around that you were bawling worse than a toddler.

Lewis took a step closer as he called your nickname in the softest voice, a voice you nearly buckled to. Nearly. Taking a few steps back, you avoided his eyes and wiped your face.

“You don’t mean that,” Lewis said his voice low.

“What don’t like that answer? I don’t know why. You were the one who said that you didn’t do monogamy and that I knew what you wanted from the very beginning. That I knew what it was you could and couldn’t offer. That I entertained it and you taking what you gave no complaints and that it’s my fault for thinking this was any different than what it was. That was you.”

Lewis took another step to you trying to touch your hand. “Angel eyes.”

“No, you said this was the life you wanted to lead. You drive fast cars and like everything else just as fast. I heard you.”

You stepped around him, but Lewis held your hand lacing his fingers between yours. They were clammy and it registered that it was probably from his nerves.

“Please don’t walk away from me. Please.”

You scrunched your face as fresh tears welled your eyes. “I don’t know what you want from me, Lewis.

“I want you.”

“I don’t know if I can trust that—trust you.”

“Because of her.”

“No. Look I understand what happened. I understand you were stuck between two impossible decisions, two decisions a normal person wouldn’t have to ever make. I get it. I’m not upset with you because you made the choice you did.”

“Then what?”

You spun to him ignoring the way he looked like a kicked puppy.

“It was easy for you. So fucking easy. You didn’t stutter, struggle, or hesitate. Everything was so effortless. The words you spoke, the way you allowed those women to touch you, the coldness in your eyes, the way you said the things you knew only I would get.”

Your emotions betrayed you and hot tears rolled down your cheeks. angrily you wiped them away hating how weak you felt right now. All the feelings of betrayal swamped you yet again and it felt like you hadn’t moved past it at all.

“It wasn’t. Fucking—it was the hardest thing I’ve done. It broke me.”

“No it broke me!”

Your shout bellowed over the open asphalt of the tarmac and it dawned on you that you were laying out your private matters where anyone could be watching or recording. Gathering your senses and emotions, you dried your tears and slipped your sunglasses back on.

“Ehm, I get why you did what you did. I even get why you chose that situation as the only one that I would believe, I get it. I just—,” you sighed then hesitated for a few moments. “I don’t know who you are anymore.”

Lewis sighed heavily then dropped his head back. When he took a step toward you as if he were ready to continue the debate you stopped him.

“I don’t know if I can trust the things you say or you, I don’t know what’s real or fake anymore and if I can’t know any of that I don’t think—there is no way that we can be anything to one another.”

“Y/N, don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry. I just—I need to get out of here. I need to get away from--.”

“Me?”

“Everything.”

“Doesn’t it matter that I’m telling you I love you? Doesn’t it matter that I want to spend the rest of my life with you? Doesn’t it matter that I need you?”

Somehow his hand had found its way back to yours and unconsciously you’d laced your fingers as tightly as he’d laced his.

“I need time Lewis. I need space.”

It took a minute but slowly and reluctantly he unthreaded his fingers from yours until the only thing he was holding on to were your pinky fingers. It hit you then the last time he’d held you like this and that was when your tears really began. Your emotional state seemed to escalate his and he closed the space between you while gripping the life out of your fingers. It felt like he was trying with everything to hold on to you.

“I promise to respect you. I promise not to have you looking wild in these streets. I promise to value your thoughts and opinions. I promise to value you and your place in my life. I promise to have your back. I promise to be there for you when you need me. I promise to keep the past in the past. I promise to protect you. I promise to keep you in my heart. I promise it’s just you and me.”

Before you could begin wailing, you pulled your fingers away and hurried to the waiting jet so you could fall apart. Once on the jet, you hightailed it to the bathroom then let everything out that you couldn’t in front of him. Everything that you fought so hard to hold in, every fear, regret, hurt, and doubt rolled down your cheek and heaved off of your chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

-9 Months Later-

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

The long tone of the heart monitors stuck with you. It was hours ago that you’d sat in the front seat of the viewing room as the final lethal cocktail was administered to the woman who’d ruthlessly and gleefully murdered your mother. It had been hours since you stared into her cold eyes with your calm ones as she took her last breath. It had been hours since you’d uttered the last words she’d ever hear.

“May you burn in hell for eternity with no chance of absolution.”

You took a deep breath as the sunshine warmed your skin. All around you, the chirps of birds and flapping of fish, ducks, and birds in the lake before you filled your ears. The peace you felt within you now was resounding. You’d used the months you were away for some deep soul-searching and deep cleaning of your mind and heart. You’d put in the work to center yourself and resolve the anger and hatred in your heart. It had taken months, but you’d accomplished it and were certain of it when you sat in front of Aleeza who didn’t look like she repented at all and didn’t feel anything but pity.

You took another deep breath and smiled as the scent of daffodils and ranunculus filled your nostrils. It felt like this was the first time you could take a real deep breath without feeling pain. Angling your head back, you opened your eyes and gazed into the sky from behind your dark sunglasses.

“Thanks for the beautiful day mom.”

Your phone rang but you ignored it as a rainbow stretched across the sky. Over the last 9 months, you’d taken the time to find joy in simple things like these. You’d found a newfound love for nature and the beauty and wonder of a new day. Whereas you’d hated sunrises before and only cherished sunsets, you found a new respect for them. You’d turned into an early riser while remaining a night owl. Your entire outlook on life had changed and it felt like a true new beginning.

“The sun loves you.”

You turned to find your father’s smiling face. You leaned in close looping your arm through his.

“The sun loves us. Look this is the sunniest spot in the park.”

He glanced around and nodded.

“1 to 10.”

You watched two swans on the lake gracefully cruising by in complete peace.

“9,” your replied.

Your father nodded.

“You?”

“9.”

You stared at each other then smiled. Two weeks after you’d left he’d followed you and had remained traveling with you for the last 9 months. It was time you were so grateful to have had with him. You both needed the change of pace and time to heal and perhaps your healing was easier with each other. From the very beginning, he’d taken a liking to asking you to gauge how you were on a 1 to 10 scale and gradually it had gone from 1 to a 9. Neither of you ever went past a 9 because nothing would ever be perfect without your mother but 9 was good enough.

“You’re right this is the sunniest spot.”

“It’s mom. She’s at peace,” you replied.

You both stared at the sky in silence.

“Maybe she’s letting you know it’s time for you to find peace.”

“You too dad.”

Your eyes met as both of you thought over your words. He nodded then wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

“You are my peace. I love you sweetheart.”

“I love you too dad.”

Again, your phone rang and again you ignored it. Nothing was more important than this moment.

The next morning while you were sitting with a tall mug of caffeine, your iPad, and the sunshine bathing you, you found yourself scrolling through Harrods and filling your cart with the newest and best trends over the last 2 months and racking up a hefty grand total. You were so lost in your happy place that you almost tuned out the sound of your ringing phone. By the time you reached it, you didn’t bother checking the ID.

“Hello?”

“Y/N? Hello?”

“Uh, hi. It’s me. Who’s this?”

When you heard the name of Lewis’ sister you froze.

“Uh. Say again.”

There was no mistaking it was her. You’d spoken to her several times and even spent a lot of time with her and the rest of his family. The first time you’d vacationed with them you asked if she was sure she was all right with you being around her children and she said Lewis would never have brought you around them if he hadn’t trusted you to be 1, a good person, and 2, someone important.

“Hello?”

“I—I’m here.”

“I thought the line got disconnected. I’m sorry to just call you out of the blue but I was hoping that we could grab coffee and scones.”

“Uh. With me?”

“Of course silly. Are you busy? I’ve heard you’ve been traveling for a bit, so I don’t know if you’re back in England.”

“Um, I just got back in town actually.”

“That’s great. Can you squeeze me in?”

You didn’t want to be impolite and ask her why she’d chosen you to want this coffee and scone with, but you were very curious.

“Well—uh--.”

“No pressure. I promise.”

You sighed then resolved to your fate. “Sure. Let’s do it.”

“Great! How about later at Minnow? Maybe noon?”

“Today? Oh um, sure. I’ll see you there.”

You ended the call but still stood there confused as to why she wanted to have coffee with you at all. Surely she knew what had happened between you and her brother. Surely she knew that the two of you didn’t have anything to talk about. Then it dawned on you the possibility of her not knowing what had happened. It would be a Lewis move to keep everything away from them after all. It didn’t take you long to abandon thinking about it and go back to shopping. However, as you shopped your mind did wander to her potential reasons for wanting to see you.

By the time noon rolled around you stepped into Minnow and looked around the small but charming coffee shop. Toward the back where the flowers hung down overhead, you spotted her waving you over with a bright smile. You made your way through the shop politely smiling at those you passed until you stopped in front of her.

“Hi,” she said before she threw her arms around you with so much enthusiasm it took you completely off guard.

“Um, hi. How are you?”

“I’m well. My goodness you look gorgeous.”

You removed your sunglasses and fanned her off. “I’m not all of that. Now you, stunning.”

She giggled and then sat. You took off your light trench, draped it on the back of the seat then sat in front of her.

“This is beautiful,” you said trying to ease the awkwardness.

“It is. One of my favorite stops.”

A waitress came by to take your order and she ordered a platter of scones and croissants in 3 different flavors for the table with her coffee. You recited your semi-specific order while thanking her. When it was just the two of you again she smiled at you.

“How were your travels?”

“Good. I love to travel, and this round really served its purpose.”

“That’s good. I’m glad to hear it.”

You nodded, then asked about her family and the kids.

“They’re wonderful. The kids are doing amazing, growing so fast I can’t stand it. Mum is healthy and enjoying every bit of her life. Everyone is great. Well, almost everyone but that’s neither here nor there.”

When she said it she looked away which made it pretty easy to know who she was referring to. At the mention of him probably not being all right, you felt your heart rate increase. You wanted to ask how he was but you also knew it was probably not a good idea. Then you doubled back and questioned yourself why it wasn’t a good idea. There was no way he was doing bad because of you, right? That possibility swirled around your head until you realized you’d stayed so quiet you hadn’t been listening to what she was saying.

“So that’s what brings me here today.”

You did your best to keep your face neutral while somewhat engaged to hide the fact that you hadn’t heard a word of what she’d said.

“Do you agree to it? Will you?”

You sat there completely lost as to what she’d asked you.

“Um.”

Just then, the waitress returned with your items. She carefully placed them on the table then walked off to where she’d come from. Buying yourself more time, you took a timid sip of your beverage and took the extended time to swallow it.

“Y/N?”

“Hm? Oh uh—yeah.”

“Yeah? You will?”

You nodded and hoped you hadn’t agreed to something torturous. She lit up and clapped her hands together. “Yay, that’s wonderful. I know she’s going to love having you there. Since meeting you last Thanksgiving she really took a liking to you. She talks about you all the time and when she watches the women’s F1 she is glued to the screen for all of your interviews. She is going to be overjoyed to have you at her birthday party. The big 8!”

That’s when you got it. You’d just agreed to go to her daughter’s 8th birthday party. Oh shit, you thought while trying to not appear as panicked outside as you currently felt.

“I was so worried about asking you. I for sure thought you would say no or make an excuse as to why you couldn’t come. I’m relieved.”

“I’m flattered by the invite. I had no idea she liked me.”

She snorted, “Liked you? Since the last time she saw you, she’s been asking Lewis about you. Where is Y/N? When will she come by? Will she be here for Easter? Can we go get ice cream with Y/N? Can we go with you to the track maybe Y/N will be there? On and on and on, she and her brother. You’ve made an impact.”

You smiled as warmth filled you. You’d had no idea.

“Kids are pretty straightforward. They run off of vibes and are usually great judges of character. From first meeting you that was it.”

Your smile widened, “Your kids are above average human beings, so I’m flattered.”

She smiled clearly eating the praise up. For the next several minutes, you both drank your drinks and sampled the scones and croissants while making small talk. Slowly your nerves died down and you began to relax. This wasn’t nearly as bad or awkward as you’d expected, you said to yourself as you finished all the croissants almost an hour into the coffee meet.

She gave you all the details for the party and even some insight into her latest obsessions so you didn’t have too hard a time finding a gift. Once you’d finished your drinks and ordered another to go, you settled the bill and prepared yourselves to leave. Before either of you stood from the table, she placed a gentle hand atop yours.

“I wasn’t going to do this because I don’t want to be that sister who meddles in their siblings' affairs. I was just going to bring up the party and catch up then be on my way but sitting here with you I picked up on a few things and want to get one thing said if I may.”

Every single one of your nerves came back then. You sipped from your to-go cup preparing yourself, then nodded.

“By all means, unburden yourself.”

She nodded then took a few moments before she continued. “I love my brother. For a long time he was the baby in the family and in some ways still is the baby even though he’s a grown man. I’m sure you understand why.”

You smiled softly and nodded.

“I want him to be happy. We all do. He deserves it more than anyone I know because what the public, press, and fans get wrong about him is what we know about him. He’s a kind, sweet, giving, and a gentle soul who wants the best for even the smallest ant.”

You could see her getting emotional and tried to remain indifferent. “He is so deserving of love and I want him to have what I’ve been blessed with. I’m not saying this to guilt you into being with him again. He told us what he did and took the blame for the way things are between you. I hold no grudges or ill will toward you for it. Sometimes he can be a daft—bugger and do the stupidest things all with good intention.”

You scoffed and took another sip from your cup.

“I also know that you were the second woman I’d ever seen him fall in love with. Like actually. We all knew it before he said a word. In his nearly 40 years, you’re just the second but you are the first who truly saw all of him and accepted it. With the first he didn’t have this reputation this larger-than-life persona there was nothing to overlook. Now there is a lot more and you saw it going in, played with caution, accepted him, and had the genuineness to love him back.”

You looked away from her then, but you still listened.

“I’ve been alive long enough to know a thing or twenty about love. I know running from it never works because you’ll run your marathon only to end up in a different place with the same thing you’d run from staring you in the face. I know pretending there isn’t love where it resides is also a fool’s errand. Pretending will only bring pain, stress, and unhappiness. I know that letting something go only to have it wait for you and remain yours means it is and has always been yours. And last, I know that one should never just throw love away, not the love plenty spend a lifetime trying to find.”

You smirked and nodded. She stared at you as if to really drive home her point. You smiled. “I understand.”

She nodded again, “I understand if you change your mind by the day of the party. I get it and I won’t hold it against you. I won’t tell her and leave this completely in your field.”

You reached across and squeezed her hand. “Thank you.”

She smiled and stood. You followed suit then walked out of the shop. The two of you hugged and said your goodbyes before going your separate ways. Once in your car you sat there for a few minutes and allowed yourself to settle. It was something you’d learned over the last several months. Giving yourself the time to be was important. Once you’d come to terms with it, you made your way back to your condo. You were in need of a long soak in a rose milk bubble bath.

~~~~~~~~~

-Four Days Later-

You inspected your outfit in the mirror from every angle. This was your 4th possible look and like the others before it, you found fault with it. This one didn’t make your thighs look good enough. You groaned, then began stripping as you approached the next possible outfit. Your walk-in closet looked like a tornado had hit it and there were no survivors. You took another sip of your Mai Tai and moaned.

Once you were in the dress, you used your gadget to zip the back of it then took another sip from your glass. The white looked good against your skin and the fit showed off your curves. The only thing you worried about was the eyelet cutouts scattered across the dress and the low plunging neck.

“Is this appropriate?”

It made your breasts look incredible, but it didn’t feel like the right choice for a child’s birthday party. Groaning, you kicked off the heels you’d been wearing and dropped into the pouf that was beside your jewelry display.

“Am I over thinking this? I am aren’t I?”

You dropped your head into your hands and took a few minutes to pull yourself together. You recited your daily mantra that you’d been saying for the last 9 months and centered yourself.

“It’s just a party, Y/N. You are tripping for no reason. It’s not a big deal.”

On the one hand, you knew what you said was true but on the other hand, you knew you had reason to freak out. 9 months was a long time. You’d purposefully stayed away from any news, gossip, and or coverage related to him. His name was a tag you put on every social media outlet and any notification setting so that you didn’t mistakenly get any sort of update relating to him. By the 3rd week, you’d put his number on the block list just to be safe. It wasn’t that you thought he’d call you didn’t want to risk calling or texting him during a moment of weakness and confusion.

Even since being back in town, you hadn’t taken the restrictions off. You’d mainly remained inside your condo so bumping into him wouldn’t be possible. Your social media settings were the same, so the only worry was hearing something on Sky Sports or some other sports channel. You’d been lucky so far. However, out of sight did not equate to out of mind. If he were paid for how often you found him on your mind, he could have become a millionaire off of those thoughts alone.

From the corner of your eye, you saw a bubble gum pink fabric sticking out of its row of similar colored items. Once standing before the row you took the item down and smiled. It was perfect. With a smile, you stripped off the look you wore and put on the long pink maxi dress that screamed effortless, comfortable, chic, fun, and just a hint of sexy. When you spun and checked your reflection from all the necessary angles you nodded. It was perfect.

Almost an hour later you rolled through the heavy security check at the venue. You’d been here once before with Lewis and as you waited in the line of cars the memories from that day played in your head. The surprise picnic had been a sweet date but the fact that he’d shut the entire garden down for the day made you melt further. You gave your name to the guard and watched as he checked his device. He smiled then nodded as he pointed you to the way to go.

You sat in the car as you waited for a valet to come and get your car and the whole time you looked around for a possible exit. Before you could pull out of the line a valet approached your car. With a final breath, you gathered your clutch and the stack of gifts you’d brought with you. You thanked him then followed the laid-out path for guests.

Every few steps you stopped and allowed those behind you to continue because the memories were only bombarding you more and more. You were a tad bit more than fashionably late by now and you weighed your options of discreetly dropping off the gifts and going home rather than staying. You knew the longer you stayed the more the memories would demand attention.

“Ma’am? Are you lost? Can I help?”

The woman who approached you looked very friendly which made you bite your tongue in an effort to not snap at her.

“Um, I’m all right. Thank you.”

“Are you here for the Hamilton event?”

“Uh, yes.”

“Great. You’re on the right path. Follow the flower road and you can’t miss it.”

You smiled and thanked her. Following her instructions, you slowly followed the gorgeous path of flowers using the time to remind yourself of just who the fuck you were. All this excessive thinking was so unnecessary. With your head high, and shoulders back you approached the massive flower gate. Once you stepped through, your jaw dropped. She was right, there was no way you could miss this. Stretched out before you on the great lawn was a child’s dream. Inflatables, party games, food, and everything imaginable all complimented by massive flower designs. It looked incredible and perfect for a little princess.

Kids were scattered about socializing, playing games, and or losing their ever-loving minds probably hopped up on an excessive amount of sugar. Just looking at everything you could tell this cost a small fortune but it was so beautiful that you imagined nobody cared and agreed it was worth it. You wandered around the lawn taking it all in when to your right in the distance you caught sight of the massive flower maze where Lewis had once pulled you into. You’d played hide and seek and every time he found you his reward was a piece of your clothing. When he’d gotten you to your lace bra, you upped the stakes and turned the tables on him for the same reward.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to be left in your underwear. That was when the chase really began. When he caught you, he perched you against the edge of the fountain that was in the middle and had his 2nd dessert of the day which led to an adventurous and risky fuck right against one of the flowered hedges. You both came out smelling heavily of roses with leaves stuck to you.

The memory took you by surprise and nearly brought you to your knees. You didn’t know how it felt so fresh all this time later. You could still feel his lips against your pulse point and smell the roses that kissed his skin with every thrust into your core.

“For fuck’s sake!”

“Oooh, you said a bad word,” a childlike voice accused.

Your eyes flew open and to your shock, there was a little girl with sandy brown ringlet hair staring at you with a large lollipop in hand. She said it again and this time she said it very loudly. Looking around, you found everyone in the vicinity looking at you.

A high-pitched squeal sounded then you heard a miniature voice excitedly scream your name. Your head snapped in the direction and saw the birthday girl running to you like you were her most favorite person in the world. In a matter of seconds, she’d crossed the expanse of the great lawn and threw herself into you nearly taking you off your feet in the process.

“You’re here, you’re here, you’re here!”

Her excitement was so contagious that you giggled along with her.

“Hi!”

“Hi, hi, hi, hi!”

You snorted as you realized she was just as hopped up on sugar as everyone else. You stooped down, placed the stack of gifts under your right arm on the grass then hugged her properly.

“You’re here! I missed you. I knew you’d come. I knew it, I knew it!”

You laughed at how quickly she spoke but it wasn’t a good enough distraction because you felt the prick of tears at her excitement to see you. It was something you hadn’t expected. You didn’t think you mattered at all to her since it had only been less than two years you’d been in her life. You didn’t think you’d made any impact but seeing the joy in her eyes and feeling the tightness of her grip on you, your heart melted.

“I would never miss your birthday. Oooh look at you, you’re gorgeous. Are you a fairy?”

She nodded, smiled widely then spun around so you got the full effect of her fairy gown.

“Wow, you are the most graceful fairy I have ever seen. The Pixie Hallow girls better look out!”

She giggled some more and any nerves you’d felt disappeared. Just as you opened your mouth to say something else a blur of blue collided into your right side tackling you to the grass.

“Y/N!”

Wasting no time, the birthday girl jumped on you until the three of you were a bundle of arms, legs, and material. You laughed so loudly that you were sure you’d drawn the attention of everyone from the actual entertainment. They both chattered happily firing question after question at you, not giving you any time whatsoever to answer them. When Lewis’ nephew began making fun of the bright girly colors he was surrounded by you tickled him making him squeal and wiggle.

“Y/N! You made it.”

You looked up into a grown pair of eyes similar to the minis currently sprawled across you.

“Hi. I did.”

“Oh my goodness, guys get off of her. She’s wearing such a beautiful dress.”

You fanned her off telling her you didn’t care about the dress. That was all the two of them needed to hear because they happily sat on you. Willow played with your hair while Kaiden poked at his sister doing what big brothers did well. Lewis’ mom approached with a bright smile.

“Y/N.”

“Mrs--,” you began before she cut you off and gave you a stern eye. “Em, Ms. Carmen.”

She held her arms out for a hug and that was when the kids got off of you. You looked around for your clutch as you reached a hand out. It rested in a warm one and instantly electricity shot through you. You snapped your head in the direction of the surge and came face to face with Lewis. That surge of electricity turned to a blaze as if a thunderbolt had released its wrath upon you. A wrath that had been charging for 9 long months.

You stumbled back down and his arm came around you steadying you and holding you against him. Your eyes remained locked on one another, and you didn’t know how much time passed as such. The heat from his hands seared your skin branding you, marking you as if to finally show anyone who looked just who you belonged to. Who you’d always belong to, a tiny voice in the back of your head muttered. A voice that had been getting louder and louder as the date of your return to England approached. This voice was not fucking around anymore.

The fluttering in your belly increased so rapidly that you felt like you were currently going down a massive decline on a rollercoaster. As your heart thumped louder than you could conceal you found yourself pressing closer to him. The shock in his eyes spoke volumes. He didn’t know you were coming but the tightness of his grip said it was a welcomed surprise.

“Look Uncle Lewis, it’s Y/N! She came for my birthday. I told you she liked me.”

Just like that the spell had been broken, but it was Lewis who pulled away from you quicker than you’d expected. As if he wasn’t far enough, he took several steps back.

“Of course she likes you. There is no one in this world who would not like Princess Willow,” Lewis said before he lifted her into his arms.

You turned your attention back to his mother and hugged her. She rocked you from side to side as if she’d longed for the hug for months.

“You’ve been missed.”

“You’re sweet.”

She pulled back, cupped your cheeks, and stared into your eyes.

“The same sad eyes I look into daily.”

Your smile slipped as you gathered her meaning.

“Ehm. Thank you for coming, Y/N.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it.”

You turned for the gifts but found they had already been gathered for you. Two arms hooked yours and led you across the lawn. You smiled and said hello to those you passed as they led you wherever they wanted.

“I see someone got the invitation.”

You turned to see your father’s smiling face.

“Dad? What are you doing here?”

“Of course coming to celebrate this little fairy’s birthday,” he replied.

“You didn’t tell me.”

“No. I decided to let the chips fall where they would and I see they fell just where I expected.”

You swatted at his forearm hoping to get him to change the subject. Flawlessly he did just that.

“Everything is beautiful.”

“Honestly, Willow told Lewis a theme and this came from his imagination.”

You smiled to yourself believing it. The man had a flair for extravagance but also an eye for things like this.

“I love it Uncle Lewis!”

“I’m happy to hear it. I’m going to keep making the rounds,” he said placing Willow on her feet.

Without another word, he disappeared into the crowd. You realized then that you could take a deep breath again. A snort escaped you because you were beginning to realize that fate was anything but subtle. As everyone scattered to mingle you stuck to your father’s side and walked around the gardens. You took glass after glass of rosé drinking them all down as you came face to face with memories that played so vividly before you like whisps of your former selves were acting out every event.

After an hour or so you found yourself awestruck with the interior that looked like an enchanted forest. He’d really dug into the depths of his imagination for this. Suddenly a thought hit you about how great of a dad he’d be. It was a thought you’d had plenty of times before and each time you’d found yourself picturing a little boy with his eyes and gap-tooth who loved go-carting and racing as much as he did.

“Honey, did you hear me?”

“Hm?”

“I asked if you’ve seen the flower maze.”

Several pairs of eyes drifted to you but one pair remained turned down glued to his plate.

“Um, yes I saw it.”

“It’s breathtaking, Ms. Carmen chimed in.

“You should go through it. Roses everywhere,” she added.

Lewis kept his head down while you struggled to string two words together.

“Should we go take a look?”

“No!”

Everyone looked at you strangely.

“I mean--.”

Lewis looked at you then and you knew he was thinking of the same thing you were.

“Em, I wore the wrong shoes today my heels will only dig into the grass more.”

“Plenty of people are barefoot, there’s nothing wrong if you do it too.”

“I’m no good at mazes, I’ll only get lost,” you attempted.

“Then take Lewis with you. He’s good at things like that,” Ms. Carmen added.

“I’m going to make sure everything is ready," Lewis said before he stood from the table and once again disappeared.

For some reason, you glanced at your father beside you but he was already watching you with a soft smile on his lips. He nodded his head almost in a reassuring way then went back to his meal.

After, you watched Willow and her friends dance around as the smoke machine went off and balloons fell from the ceiling. She was having the time of her life. Every so often your eyes kept drifting to Lewis who stood to the side also watching her. He hadn’t returned to the table and had kept his distance. Matter of fact he’d been doing it all day as if he didn’t want to crowd you. It made you feel strange, and you didn’t know why. You looked over him taking your time to trail over his outfit that you knew he’d put plenty of thought and effort into. It was a good choice, the simple white t-shirt paired well with his pale pink pastel patterned pants while the pastel yellow and blue patterned denim material jacket he wore pulled it all together.

When your eyes slowly raked back up his body you found him looking in your direction. You should have instantly looked away, but you didn’t. You kept eye contact and fully sank into the lightheaded feeling his eyes always brought. He slowly licked his lips and it felt as if you’d momentarily gone through menopause as a sweltering hot flash rushed through you. That was when you looked away and excused yourself from the table. With hurried steps, you walked back out onto the great lawn and then stopped. You bent, unbuckled your heels, and peeled them off then quickly walked in the opposite direction from the maze.

Ten or so minutes later you found yourself nearing the maze entrance though you’d tried to stay clear of it. Aggravated you about faced and hurried away. Lost in thought you wandered around the gardens with no clear direction in mind. However, a while later you found yourself right back in front of the maze.

“For fuck’s sake.”

You rolled your eyes then walked inside. If the universe wanted you to go in you’d ace the shit out of this maze. Slowly you made your way through the winding paths while trailing your fingertips along the roses. The deeper you went the stronger the scent of roses surrounded you. The headier the scent the more real the memories felt. By the time you made it to the fountain in the center, you knew this was your mother’s work with the universe.

When at the opposite side of the fountain you hopped up on the ledge and stared at the large hedge in front of you. There was nowhere to go in that direction, and it felt very symbolistic. You also had nowhere to go. It was as simple as that. You recalled the looks, the smiles, and the touches between you that day and everything else faded away. You smiled. The sound of your notifications had you digging into your clutch to see a message from your father.

MSG Dad: I meddled once and told myself not to do it again and I was going to end it there but then I saw your reactions to one another today and I think it would make me a bad parent if I didn’t meddle once more and show you this. Do with it as you will. I love you, sweetheart. Remember a man’s mistakes do not define him. What defines him is his character when no one is looking and when there is nothing to gain. And your fear should not define you. The depth of your heart and willingness to let love in could.

You sniffled then an airdropped file appeared. You attempted to tap it a few times but with each attempt, you chickened out. Your finger hovered over it for several minutes before you took a few deep breaths and tapped it. The file opened to show a video. You recognized your father’s office and as the audio began you realized it was your father and Lewis talking.

You watched the events of his meeting with Lewis the same day you’d left. With every word Lewis spoke, he did not sound like a worried or fearful man who’d fucked up and slept with his boss’ daughter. He sounded resolved as if he accepted his wrongdoings and was not interested in downplaying it or escaping ownership. For some reason not hearing him apologize for it made your chest swell. As the video played out and you listened to Lewis tell him with conviction how he felt for you the knot in your throat turned into a rock.

You watched as your father placed the documents on his desk and held your breath as you waited to see what Lewis’ move would be. You didn’t have to wait long before you watched him stand and cross the office to sign his name on the papers all without reading a single word. Instantly, you thought that was stupid of him. Everyone knew to always read things before you sign them especially when you were someone who had so much to lose. The video played out with your father ripping the papers and telling him where you were.

You’d always suspected it was your father who’d given him your location because he was the only one who knew it. Now you had confirmation. Your laugh began as a snort but soon turned to a full-on hearty cackle. You closed your eyes and allowed Lewis’s words to echo back in your head.

“There was no way that I would have been able to stay away from your daughter. It wasn’t possible from the beginning because what’s meant to be cannot be avoided and I believe that we were meant for one another.”

Your throat tightened with emotion.

“I love her because she’s the sun and the moon to me, the rise and set of every day. She makes me feel things I was always scared to, things I’d convinced myself I didn’t need in my life because they were risky and distracting. She’s shown me that truly loving is braver than driving a tiny car that goes upwards of 200 miles per hour.”

Your eyes pricked and stung.

“I’m not all right with not having her in my life.”

Your heart sped, thumping so loudly it filled your ears blocking out all other sounds.

"It doesn’t bother me in the least to sign this. She’s worth so much more.”

Your tears spilled over the rims of your eyes, rolling down your cheeks. However, before the tears you’d cried were sorrow filled, painful, and heartbreaking. These were different. They didn’t carry the weight of the entire world in them. They were lite and comforting.

“I love her. I only want her.”

The butterflies in your belly took flight sending your entire being into a state of gleefulness.

“Y/N?”

Your eyes snapped open and like you’d wished him there, Lewis stood before you with a timid look on his face. When he registered your tears he took another step to you as his brows crinkled with worry.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did something happen?”

He grabbed your hand and your eyes dropped to it. Almost instantly he released you and stepped back.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I—I just—you’re crying. I thought something was wrong.”

You wiped your cheeks with the back of your hand then took a deep breath.

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” you said.

Lewis didn’t look as if he believed one word out of your mouth. He assessed you, searching for the hidden meaning behind your words but when you didn’t move to say anything further he nodded.

“Okay. Um, I’m sorry to—I didn’t mean to crowd you or bother you. I came for a walk, and you were here. I’m gonna go and you can go back to having your space.”

He turned and walked back around the fountain to the walkway. You watched him clench and unclench his fist and smiled. You knew the tick; he had plenty more to say and was trying to restrain himself.

“The funny thing about space is you want it so bad you can taste it and then you get it—a lot of it but suddenly and all at once that space becomes suffocating, uncomfortable, and even painful. Before you know it, you wake up one day and in the span of hours or minutes the space that you wanted becomes the last thing you need.”

Lewis had stopped but his back was turned to you. You waited for him to engage and prayed he would. You knew the ball was in your court with this but you also knew 9 months was a long time. You’d been apart and had no communication. You were practically strangers now. You had no idea where his life was let alone his head. What if he was over you? What if he’d decided by month 3 that he’d had enough?

“And what is it that you need now?”

Relief filled you. “A few things really. First I need to apologize to you.”

“For what?”

“I asked for space and time, and I left and didn’t look back. I selfishly left you in this state of suspended animation without thought or care and I am sorry for that. It was inconsiderate and selfish of me. I see that now and I’m sorry for it.”

“Ok, you’ve apologized.”

The reply wasn’t what you’d expected or wanted but his standoffishness was a result of your own. You understood.

“Is that all?”

His voice was cold, almost angry.

“Why would you sign away your career just for my dad’s approval of you?”

Lewis turned and looked at you. “What?”

“My dad showed me the video of your meeting.”

He scoffed. “I’m not doing this Y/N. I’ve said everything I could possibly say to you for you to understand why I would—how I feel about--.”

Lewis sighed then shook his head. “Let’s not.”

He turned again to leave, and panic filled you. Hopping off the edge of the fountain, you fully turned to him.

“Second, I need you,” you rushed out.

Your words stopped him, but they didn’t make him turn around.

“I want you and I need you. I’m sorry I had to leave to figure that out, I’m sorry I had to stay away so long to understand. I’m sorry that I couldn’t see it before or trust in you and what we had—could have. I’m sorry Lewis. If I’m honest with myself I’d figured it out after six months but that fear held me longer. The fear that you couldn’t be trusted, the fear that you were lying to me for some ulterior motive, the fear that I was being stupid and gullible and refusing to see the writings on the wall. I was so scared to risk getting my heart destroyed by you again and that fear kept me away, that fear kept me running from you but I’m tired of running and so done with it. There have been so many signs directing me to the truth, so many signs pointing me to you and everything we started. It came to the point where it was stupid for me to try to ignore them anymore. It was impossible.”

Still Lewis kept his back to you and the longer he did the more fear filled you, the same fear you’d been determined to let go.

“I know it’s been a long time and I know that I’ve hurt you probably almost as bad as you hurt me and I know that people change and things change. I have no idea where you are in your life now or who—you have in your life,” you said ending in a whisper.

Lewis spun around then. “Are you being serious right now? Who I have in my life?”

He looked at his wit’s end like he was seconds away from blowing up at you.

“What part of no matter what, from this day on there will be no one else. Just you. Even if you decide that you want nothing else to do with me, I will love you from afar, but it will still forever and always till my last breath, just be you, do you not understand?”

You stood there speechless and even that set him off.

“Like I don’t understand why it’s hard for you to fathom or why it hasn’t sunk in yet. I—love—you. I am in love with you. I want you!”

His voice boomed in the maze as he spelled it out for you. Your tears rolled again.

“I love you too. I’m in love with you too and I want you too,” you whined through your tears.

Lewis took you in for a few moments then he walked around to you.

“Say that again.”

You scrunched your face and allowed your tears to free fall. You didn’t care if he saw them or knew your weakness and vulnerability at this moment.

“I am head over heels in love with you Lewis Hamilton. I love all of you without reservation and without shame. I love you because you love me through my fear of you. I love you because since your cocky ass waltzed into my life trying to prove you weren’t like your old self I’ve never loved like this. I love you because you’d risk it all for me. I love you because through loving you I’ve realized that everything I doubted and didn’t believe in that was written in Corinthians is true. I love you and I want you, all of you completely, from this day for all the days.”

You knew you were full-on ugly crying in front of him with snot possibly dripping down your nose, but you didn’t care. Lewis’ glistening eyes overflowed.

“Fuck I should make you work for this but I’m such a fucking simp for you.”

Lewis rushed you then crashed his lips against yours setting off the fireworks behind your eyes and in your head. In the distance, a chorus began while instruments blared all to the rapid beating of your heart, a heart that matched the one that was behind the chest pressed to yours. Your lips urgently claimed his not being able to get enough of him.

When Lewis pulled away you stared at one another all the hurry melting from you. It was at this moment the two of you truly saw one another. There was nothing between you, no walls, barriers, fears, or hesitations. You were both all in. He kissed you once on your lips, then both your cheeks then your forehead before ending on the tip of your nose. His eyes then locked on yours.

“I promise to respect you. I promise not to have you looking wild in these streets. I promise to value your thoughts and opinions. I promise to value you and your place in my life. I promise to have your back. I promise to be there for you when you need me. I promise to keep the past in the past. I promise to protect you. I promise to keep you in my heart. I promise it’s just you and me. I promise you my future,” he recited, further ruining you.

His thumbs swiped away the rivers rolling down your cheeks before he kissed them. You felt tear drops softly land on your collar. When Lewis pulled back you saw they were his. You hooked your pinky fingers with his.

“I promise to respect you. I promise not to have you looking wild in these streets. I promise to value your thoughts and opinions. I promise to value you and your place in my life. I promise to have your back. I promise to be there for you when you need me. I promise to keep the past in the past. I promise to protect you. I promise to keep you in my heart. I promise it’s just you and me. I promise you my future.”

He smiled kissed you again then pressed his forehead to yours. You both stood there taking in the moment and the weight of the promises you’d just exchanged for the second time. They meant so much more now than they had two years ago.

“Your father gave me permission to date you in the open, you think he’d give me his permission to marry you?”

Your eyes snapped open, and you gazed deeply into his to see if he was serious. You found no humor in his deep mahogany orbs.

“I’m serious. I want to make you my wife, not my girlfriend. I want to refer to you as my wife, not my girlfriend, Mrs. Hamilton, and Y/F/N Hamilton, not Y/F/N & Y/L/N. I want to live with you under one roof, I want to make plans year after year. I want to start family traditions with you. I want to have a little girl with your eyes and smile who has me wrapped around her finger from her first breath. I want a son with your drive and forehead who knows from the first breath he takes he’s a king. I want a lifetime of loving you, supporting you, and being your biggest fan. I want a wife for life.”

“Are you—did you just—what’re--.”

Lewis dropped to one knee before you stunning you silent.

“Y/F/N & Y/L/N, do you love me?”

“Yes," you whispered.

“Do you love me enough to spend the rest of our lives together?”

You nodded, unable to find the words.

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes.”

His smile was the widest and brightest you’d seen in a long time. He stood and lifted you into his arms swinging you around as the both of you laughed.

“You mean it?”

“With everything in me.”

He kissed you again and again all over your face. When he wrapped his arms around you again, he whispered in your ear his lips skimming the shell.

“You make me want forever.”

You stayed there hidden as the sunset bathed you in its beautiful amber glow keeping you encapsulated in your bubble of joy and hope for new beginnings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton imagine #if this is love it's forever #if this is love series #black fanfiction

[sulfurz]

ೃ༄ MEANT TO BE YOURS (sheamus x fem!reader)

ೃ༄ PAIRING: sheamus x fem!reader

ೃ༄ REQUESTED BY: @lambofjudgement

now that I've finished screaming about how much I love your writing I have a request (to fill out your masterlist a little bit) for sheamus jealousy fluff? where the f!reader's been teaming with the brawling brutes for a while and when they're feuding with Imperium the Imperium tries to convince her she's too good for them? Maybe before they're together, where he's trying to convince her to stay by being extra nice and thoughtful or overprotectiveness of "his girl" that he lets slip accidentally? whichever route you take will be awesome I'm sure of it! <3

ೃ༄ WARNINGS: um idk like?!?! possessiveness ig??? sheamus is just hot n y/n fancies him

ೃ༄ WORD COUNT: 2.6k😳

ೃ༄ NOTE: UMMMM can u tell i got carried away……. i love sheamus sm i met him once and he is genuinely the sweetest guy in the world so a stephen request ????? i am in heaven pls enjoy

in theory, the moment you saw the camera you should have known something was coming.

it was one of those peaceful saturday nights on raw, a rare evening where you didn’t have a match to be a part of in any shape or form. you were simply enjoying the energy backstage as you could hear the crowd thrumming beyond the walls, watching matches that didn’t involve you on the monitor. management had requested you come along for some segments, so you were somewhat on guard, but the most you expected was an interview with renee.

you did not expect for the imperium to trudge towards you, trailed by a camera man as they came over with their proposition.

“are you ready to be on the losing side again?” gunther asked, trailed by his lackeys sad they stopped before you, circling like hyenas on the prowl.

you could only cross your arms in defence. “what makes you so sure we’ll lose?”

ludwig laughed from his leader’s left side, an air of certainess to his posture. “oh come on, y/n. you know as much as we do. you’re too good for those brutes, pardon the pun.”

the brutes in question being the stable you had taken on under your management. the brawling brutes were a separate endeavour to your solo career, but it was no secret the group had thrived under your care. if you had been coerced into joining in the first place by a particularly charming irish man, no one would have to know, either. it just so happened your management were looking for another way to push you, and acting as manager for such a powerful stable seemed like a dream when that opportunity fell in your lap.

but of course, once you proved to yourself and the rest of the wwe universe that you knew how to handle yourself both inside and outside of the ring, it wasn’t long before others tried to hunt you down. the brawling brutes were gaining power quicker than a steamroller, and of course people would give anything to stop them in their tracks.

“and what’s in it for me? if i betray them?” you crossed your arms in front of your chest, playing up to the camera, but asking more for your own gain than anything.

“unprecedented power, y/n. sweet, sweet power.” gunther added, motioning for the rest of his stable to follow as he began to walk away. “think about it, you’ll make the right decision.”

—

you gave a knock to the men’s dressing room door, a telltale shout of ‘decent’ giving away exactly who was in there — his accent certainly stood out amongst most.

pushing open the door, you were met by one single figure hanging back, but the man you needed to see. sheamus was standing there as decent as decent could be for a wwe superstar. it made you blush slightly, but you couldn’t quite understand why. you were used to going arm in arm with the man weekly when he was in nothing more than tight underwear and body oil — yet seeing him standing, clad in nothing but sweats, felt more intimate than before.

“heya, sweetheart.” he mused, charming as ever even when his in ring persona was lessened by the absence of cameras. “missed me that much?”

you rolled your eyes fondly, giving a light shove to his shoulder as you passed to take your place on a bench nearby. “don’t flatter yourself.”

sheamus grinned, a secondary emotion that you couldn’t place flashing past his eyes momentarily. he would never relent, and whilst you always had a rebuttal on the tip of your tongue, you wouldn’t deny how you were consistently forced to turn away, mainly so the man couldn’t see the reddening of your cheeks.

as the leader of the brawling brutes, it was sheamus who you came into contact with the most, and the two of you had built an interesting dynamic over the past few months. he had never hidden his affections for you in the ring, always jumping at an opportunity to be by your side, but you had foolishly put this down to his character, and never thought much of it. he was a naturally charming man, wildly different from everyone else in the roster, and it would have been easy to fall for someone like that. so, aware he was simply just being a character, you shut yourself down to every attempt to place that charm on you, not allowing the possibility for heartbreak.

“i had an interesting conversation today.” you commented quietly, crossing one leg over the other as you watched sheamus ruffle his wet hair from the shower with a towel (bright pink, and strangely familiar? was that a little decal of a flower? where did he get your towel from????). “let’s just say the last thing i was expecting today was to be accosted by imperium.”

sheamus stopped his drying motions immediately, hands coming back down to his side. “imperium? what the hell are they doing? trying to intimidate you?”

you hummed, considering how to approach this. “quite the opposite. in fact, they’ve got it into their minds that i’d be better off by their side, instead of yours.”

then, sheamus barked out a laugh and returned to his prior movements, seemingly unconcerned by the initial offer from your opponents. “well, can’t fault them for trying. as if they’re worthy of you.”

you stayed silent, watching as your friend and in ring partner raided his gym bag in search of a shirt.

“i mean. they’re not wrong when they suggest my style fits theirs slightly better. when i’m on my own i think anyone would have put me with them over you guys.”

silence met you, and when you glanced at sheamus, he wasn’t even looking in your direction. too focused on untangling his shirt straps. for a moment you thought, if that was how much he cared, then you might just take imperium up on their offer—

“you really think that?” sheamus asked darkly, not sparing a glance to his side.

shrugging, you added “i mean, we don’t know for certain but, what have you exactly got to offer me in terms of furthering my career?”

sheamus barked a laugh, but it was void of any humour. “i could list a million reasons why you suit us, sweetheart. how many do you want?”

you raised an eyebrow, his tone rattling straight through you. he was intimidating when he wanted to be, and it was clear that on stage persona was blurring with the man behind the camera for just a second.

“stephen.” you offered as warning, rarely choosing to use superstars’ real names unless the moment required it.

he spun quickly, taking one look at you before any of that hardness slipped away from his features and he was back to looking at you with a level of respect and awe.

“you’ve seen what we can do with you by our sides, y/n. you’re a warrior in and out of the ring. imperium don’t want to further your career, they want to use you for their own benefit.” he took a moment to pull the shirt over his head, before making his way to sit beside you. there was a couple of feet between your positions, but somehow the distance felt even greater.

you hummed, contemplating for just a second. “and? isn’t that what you’re doing? using me for your own benefit?”

when sheamus spoke again, there wasn’t the harshness in his tone like there was before, replaced by the sound of honey dripping off of every word. “we’ve never used you. sure, there’s no denying we’re better with you by our side, but you did all that. imperium want to use you as a pretty show piece, but to us you’re our lifeline.”

you smiled everso slightly, more having to fight the upturn of your lips than anything. “sure you don’t just like a hot woman on your arm every night?”

your stable mate grinned, playfulness returning to the air as he buttered you up. “sure, that’s a bonus, sweetheart. but you’re so much more than that.”

if your heart fluttered slightly at the tone he used, deep and rooted with genuineness, you wouldn’t tell anyone. that was a secret for you to keep.

“you’re a fool if you think we only want you to make us look good.” sheamus began again, shameless as he reached across the space between your bodies, brushing a stray strand of your hair away from your face and behind your ear. another flutter of your heart, this time more like a whisper of wind. “imperium want you to be their arm candy, we want you to be our soul. half the stuff we do wouldn’t be possible without you. you’re one of the strongest women in the roster right now, and that’s not just opinion but a fact, and it’s an honour getting to prove that. you can hold your own, hey, you can be even better, amongst the men, and i think that says everything.”

“you think that highly of me?” you asked, half jokingly, half from a place of needing reassurance. it was easy to doubt yourself amongst so many powerful opponents. “you’re already fighting pretty hard to get me to stay and i barely said anything.”

“you said enough for me to know i don’t want them getting their hands on you.” sheamus muttered, and suddenly the gap between the two of you seemed much smaller than before. “i won’t let them take my girl away that easily.”

your eyes widened at the same time his own demeanour cracked, both noticing the slip of tongue at the same time. again, you were used to the flirting the irish man undertook in the ring, and half of the time outside of it, but any semblance that those layers ran deeper than just kayfabe and your head was in a spin.

another knock at the door brought you out of the moment, a staff member poking his head in to let the two of you know they were closing up soon.

so with a few last goodbyes, you parted ways, this time with a new feeling of confusion in your chest. it was no longer the question of whether the brawling brutes wanted you more than the imperium, but now whether sheamus wanted you more than you wanted to leave.

—

after the segments on the show the week prior, it was no shock when the brawling brutes had one of their promos cut by the imperium themselves. you had expected it really, but it didn’t make the image of the four men wandering down the ramp towards the ring any less intimidating.

you stood just by the curtain of the ring, watching in concern as predator stalked their prey. you could see imperiums eyes on you, and you knew sheamus had noticed too, for he seemed to step in between their view of you protectively.

“well if it isn’t our favourite manager and her lackeys.” gunter began, practically toe to toe with sheamus as they stood leader against leader. “have you given any thought to our little conversation last week, y/n?”

before you could even react, sheamus was speaking on your behalf. “she doesn’t want to run around with little boys, she wants to stick with the men.”

gunther only chuckled into the mic, not quick enough to give his own response before giovanni was adding in himself, “if she wants men, she’s with the wrong team.”

“i wonder, if we asked her now, who’d she’s choose?” gunther challenged, the crowd hollering for you to join the conversation.

“stop fooling yourself, gunther, it’s getting embarrassing—“

sheamus was cut off by gunther once more “why don’t we let the little lady speak for herself?”

if the imperium wanted brownie points, they certainly weren’t getting them speaking about you like that. sheamus seemed to think the same, if the way his fists clenched had anything to do with it. he didn’t seem happy about it, but turned to offer you a hand to climb in the ring nonetheless.

you took his offer of help, jumping inside and trying to ignore how you were sure he was squeezing your hand just a little harder than usual. he seemed reluctant to even let go, but dropped the contact only when butch offered you his own mic to join the chorus.

the outcome of this promo was up to you, your manager had made sure that you knew that fact. he was prepared to damage control whichever side you chose, but how was the moment, and you were more unsure than ever. one look at imperium had you wanting to change allegiance. for all the talk about their true intentions, you knew one thing for certain, and that was imperiums power. they were a force to be reckoned with, and having gunther as an ally? that could do wonders for your career both in the stable and in your own solo endeavours.

yet, as you glanced to your side, seeing how sheamus watched you with uncertainty, the decision began to unblur.

he hadn’t spoken to you since the little dialogue mishap in the locker room. you had, at first, thought maybe he was disgusted by his own words, wishing he could take them back out of sheer unhappiness — but when you looked at him now, you could see past sheamus, and just see stephen, and you realised everything he had said was true.

“sheamus over here seems to have gotten it into his head that your allegiance to him is stronger than your want for success.” gunther’s menacing tone brought you out of your realisation, and you turned back to see how the man towered over you. “but you and i know better, don’t we, y/n? you’re a strong woman, you’ll make the right decision.”

a deep breath. “you’re right gunther.” a gasp echoed throughout the crowd as you seemingly made your decision to turn sides. the man in question watched you with a sly smirk, thinking his plan had worked. “my want for success is stronger than anything. so, i have to choose the side i know will get me there.”

you could practically feel the panicked looks of the brawling brutes, and when you turned to hand butch his microphone back, the expressions of betrayal were just as expected — especially from one particular redhead.

taking a step back, you made to stand with the imperium, facing your other stable-mates as the crowd shouted all sorts of nonsense directed at you, surely horrified by your abandonment. you waited a second, revelling in the reaction and allowing the imperium to glow in what they thought was a victory, before in one swift motion, you landed a back elbow straight into gunther’s stomach.

the crowd cheered again, and you wasted no time in stepping back across the ring to sheamus’ side, the grin creeping across the man’s face larger than you had ever seen before.

as you joined back by his side, he didn’t bother removing the microphone from his lips as he solidified his comment from the week prior. “that’s my girl.”

for once, you didn’t think about consequences, not caring that this wasn’t part of the plan or even prior discussed by the two of you — you knew he wanted it as badly as you by now. so, in one swift motion, coupled with a whisper of ‘your girl’, you grabbed sheamus by the back of the neck and pulled him down to crash your lips together.

if the shout from the rest of the brawling brutes was loud in your ear, the screams of the audience were practically deafening, but you barely focused on the reaction as sheamus dropped the microphone he held to the floor in favour of grabbing ahold of your waist.

#✍🏻 requests : lamb of judgement #wwe imagines #sheamus imagine #sheamus wwe #stephen farrelly #sheamus wwe imagine #wwe x reader #sheamus x reader #the imperium #the brawling brutes #gunther #butch #sheamus scenario #wwe scenario #wwe #wwe headcanon

[imerian]

Here goes little essay about everything going on with Logan bc i have a lot of thoughts that I want to organise a bit .

I'm not sure where i want to start bc there so much to this whole situation with Logan and Williams but I'll firstly discuss today's fp1.

I hate what media portraying Williams got, yes they fucked up and critique is fair but there much more than just critique online. I tend to believe that the gave logan repaired chassis not bc they disrespect him but bc his car is tuned to alex and tune new one to him is faster than redoing both of them. It may give him some disadvantages that it's too bad. The part that I'm really sad about is that Williams didn't clarify any of this and we never gonna know for sure. It all doesn't exclude possibility of this just being decision but somehow i find it unlikely.

Another part that i have a lot of emotions about is today's crash, i hate it and people's responses so bad bc firstly we never gonna know is it car or logan bc once again we can't be sure with how Williams talked about it, but even if it was logan i can hardly blame him bc amount of pressure on him js insane.

He wasn't ready for f1 when he was brought into it, everyone already said that. Plus he constantly compared to oscar which isn't fair, you can look at their cars for example (bc in this sport they matter a lot, fact that somehow a lot of people forget) or where their teams are. I remember how in f3 oscar told that he was excited to fight with Logan and that shows for me that logan can do better it's just his circumstances that are unfortunate. He's season in f2 also was really good, he obviously couldn't get first place with domination of filippe but he still did his best.

Another thing about f2 is how much pressure he had there because Williams announced him as their f1 driver even before season finished and it put Logan on a spot bc he could actually become that driver only if he finishes in top three. And he did!!

But you can see how than, in his first f1 season and eveb now amount of pressure doesn't go down, he constantly needs to prove himself or he'll get kicked out of sport, same sport that his family sacrificed all for him to get in.

I absolutely don't understand his haters, especially those that compare him to alex at least because comparing them is stupid with this big of experience gap. Same discourse i see about lando and oscar which is also stupid because at the moment lando is objectively better at least because of his experience, and oscar doesn't need to be better than him, he needs to learn and get that experience himself for any comperasing to make sense.

Big problem with Logan is that he can't get that experience to grow as a driver, even alex said that it isn't stange that he crashes that much in his first season bc Williams car is hard to work with. It was Alex that said that, same person that car was made for so i think it's pretty good evidence. Also that was ghe reason why u was very excited to see Logan this year because he would finally have car that made for him as much as it was made for alex. And then the season started :)

In first two races he couldn't prove himself in any way bc of the reasons that wasn't in his control and what happened in Australia is just horrible for him as a driver. But i really hope that his patience will help him to hold his seat for the next year. As much as it sucks right now if him helping the team can improve his chances for the seat next year than it matters most, bc even of he has shit year he could have another one to prove himself ( which i think will absolutely happen at one point or another of his career if it continues)

In the end i want to add that i believe that James have good intentions bc even knowing how negative internet going to be he made that decision in Australia for the team. As logan fan i was very sad about it but i hope that with same good intentions for team he will keep logan that already shows how supportive he is to the team and with their growth it's probably exactly who they need at the moment

#logan sargeant #williams racing #williams f1 #oscar piastri #also i want to acknowledge that even being a fan of Logan he's not the same as oscar who “gonna become future WDC” so just fyi #alex albon #also it actually was so bad when Logan said that it was hardest race weekend in his career in Australia after Qatar 2023 #pls can my dude just catch a break #and some points #also i loosely quoted Alex and oscar I can't actually remember where exactly they said that but if anyone needs it I'll find sources #i just have too much info in my head #if anyone have anything to add or discuss I'll be happy to see it

[simvanie]

7 Sins Legacy - generation 4 (pride)

Supriya: So, Did you talk with... your father about his proposition he made last Friday? You seemed a little hesitant during the conversation.

Rohan: There were some things I wanted cleared up, but it's all good now.

Supriya: What did you want cleared up?

Rohan: He let me know that he was thinking about retiring a while ago. I had almost forgotten about it so I was a bit taken aback when he said that he is actually planning on doing now. But I get his point that he preferably wants to do it before the city's elections-

-speaking about the elections, I made this rather redundant pie chart and wrote down ways we can secure votes and their chance of succeeding.

Rohan seemed to quickly change the topic of the conversation as Supriya was processing the fact that Rohan didn't give a proper answer to her question. She then looked at the chart as she read the ways to secure votes. "Debate politics from our standpoint, promote policies, and... make empty promises?!"

Rohan: Well, yous see, you've earned the career reward to make empty promises two promotions ago, so it's an option.

Supriya: No. We're not going to make promises we can't keep and lose trust from our voters.

Rohan: Listen, I can guarantee you that no politician in history, whether that be a congressman, senator, or even president, has ever kept all their promises. It won't harm the party as long as we make sure that we keep and fulfill our main promises, don't you think?

Supriya: ...

...let's say connections. ...put everything in place to ensure a smooth transition before the next elections...

Rohan: Supriya?

Supriya: Suraj wants you to lead the party when he retires, doesn't he? Now I understand what you meant with connections when I asked you about the cause you protested for. You didn't have to work your way up, everything is already laid out for you!

Rohan: Hey, I've worked just as hard as you to get to the point where I am now. The reason I didn't have to protest was because he wanted me to work by his side when I started so I could experience what it means to be a politician first hand. You've no idea how much work I had to do- why do you seem so affected by it anyway?

Supriya: Don't you see? An equal opportunity for someone in our party to work their way up and even have a chance of getting that position is completely taken away. On top of that, it'll probably take years before another opportunity like this occurs. He just wants us to work together so I can help you to look your best for the public-

Rohan: What? No! Why would you think that? You're amazing at what you do. It's partially because of your work why we are doing so well in the polls right now. You can make it so far in this career. I just had no idea that you wanted a shot at it too, although you have to realise that your current position is not high enough yet to be even considered as head of the party.

Supriya: I know I can do it! I've been working so hard since I started here. I don't want to be stuck on a position if I know that there could have been a possibility for me to achieve more. I just... wouldn't feel good about myself- about working here... I'll stay to secure the votes for the party because I told him that I would, but I'll probably try to look for a job where there is AT LEAST A POSSIBILITY to reach the top of the career somewhere else after.

Rohan: Oh- wow, hold on, there is no need to take such radical decisions right now- I know that you love this job, don't you want to think about it? Just promise me that you will think about it before making any rash decisions.

Supriya: ...Fine. I will.

#a little more text this time but that is because I wanted to fully explain the situation #sims politics don't make a lot of sense so I tried to make something out of it in my head to make this generation a little more interesting #supriya has made up her mind though It's an all or nothing mentality for her #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 #the sims #sims #simblr #ts4 legacy #sims 4 legacy #ts4 gameplay #sims 4 gameplay #7sinslegacy #gen4 pride #supriya #rohan

[cfr749]

What’s your opinion on the Valentine’s Day storyline? specifically Tim being upset with Lucy and just how it was written in general?

Hi anon!

Thanks for the ask! I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you!

So I will admit my feelings have evolved a bit on this particular storyline especially in context of season 6 (which I am enjoying so far).

I'll start with my thoughts on the whole five-player-trade thing since those storylines were so intermingled (and apparently that whole thing is going to be the gift that keeps on giving 😂).

Side note: I still wish they would have just dealt with the repercussions of the whole TO/Rookie superior/subordinate thing directly instead of inventing all this sorcery when they could have just acknowledged the inherent misogyny and sexism they've already admitted exists.

We still could have had the cuteness of the group scene and all the plotting to find an opening for Tim without making Lucy out to be a manipulator.

But for whatever reason, they really didn't seem comfortable dealing with the power dynamic issues and repercussions head on, so now I guess we get to see Aaron try to date his therapist instead 😂😬

But at least it seems like they are trying to fix their framing this season by making it clear to the audience that Lucy is the one being wronged, so that's a good thing in my book even though it's hard to see her struggle.

So, after all that, you will be shocked to hear that I wasn't a huge fan of Lucy's choice to do the five-player-trade thing 😂.

I do understand why Tim was upset with her. I think doing what she did behind his back was a problem. Don't get me wrong, though -- they both failed majorly at adult communication 101 here.

Tim should have talked to her before he made the decision to switch positions. Had they discussed it, I don't think Lucy would have felt the same level of responsibility and pressure that she did to make sure Tim wouldn't be stuck in a role he hated. Mostly because she never would have agreed to him taking a desk position and they would have had to work together to come up with another solution. From there, the story could have unfolded very differently.

Tim made a choice behind her back that impacted their relationship, but only his career. Lucy went behind Tim's back and made a choice that ultimately impacted both of their careers.

But, at the end of the day, Tim 100% came out of the situation a winner. And Lucy is continuing to pay the price. As happy as I am that Tim finally acknowledged Primm's role in the outcome of Lucy's detective exam, I am actually pretty disappointed that we haven't seen any actual acknowledgement from him that Lucy is in the position she's in now specifically because she didn't want him to be unhappy.

Lucy's choices were her own, and now she's gotta live with that, but there's no question that she did what she did out of love. And it sucks that we haven't seen any direct appreciation for what she was willing to risk for him, even if he wasn't a fan of the execution.

I had to go back and watch some clips from this episode in order to respond to this, and I have to say it actually gutted me to see how genuinely happy and proud and excited Lucy was for Tim when he got the promotion. Especially juxtaposed against Lucy learning that as much as Tim loves her and wants to support her, he really isn't able to fully get behind her on her dream, which is, of course, understandable, given his past, but still just really heartbreaking for Lucy.

When I initially watched the five-player-trade episode, I was just waiting for Tim to pop up at Smitty's trailer in his own hazmat suit to help Lucy. I thought he would be a little irritated about Lucy going behind his back, but ultimately I though we'd see him acknowledging and appreciating just how much she was willing to do to make sure he was happy (forget torpedoing her career -- she cleaned Smitty's trailer for god's sake!).

Moving into the V-day episode...

First off, boo on Tim for bailing on V-day breakfast (even is she was up late catching up with Noah 😂).

Even though I understood why Tim was upset, I don't love avoidant Tim (looking at you, beginning of 6x02 Tim 😂). Lucy of course deals with it because she does genuinely love him and understands how he operates, but this is something I do think he needs to work on and I'd like to see change over the course of the relationship. As much as I loved their Rookie-T.O. dynamic, there are definitely aspects of it that don't belong in a healthy relationship.

Back to the point, I do think what Lucy did was misguided and short-sighted (and unbelievably sweet). I do think she should have actually apologized (sorry not sorry doesn't count 😂).

But, while we're at it, Tim can apologize for making a major life decision without talking to her first also... 😂

The scene at the end was cute; I like it better now than I did when it originally aired. Some actual heat over "fuel for later" would have been great but it is, of course, The Rookie. And I do wish they would have made the gift somehow meaningful for them to give the scene a little bit more weight (think when Jackson gave Lucy the St. Michael pendant), but hey, at least we got the trophy this season 🥰.

Ultimately, it didn't make me feel a whole lot, and it's not a scene that makes the list when I think of my favorite moments for them.

And watching it back did highlight (IMO) the contrast between what we've seen so far in season 6 vs. the bulk of what we saw in season 5. And while angst is part of it, for me, I think it's more about giving us a story that (at least occasionally) goes beyond the surface level (Tim was mildly irritated! Lucy was sassy and silly!) and explores the character's emotions in a way that makes them more human and relatable.

What were your thoughts on this storyline??

#chenford #the rookie #my asks #see lana ramble #lucy chen #tim bradford #the rookie 5x13 #the rookie 5x16 #lucy chen x tim bradford #tim bradford x lucy chen

[nctinkverse]

Promissa Redux - Chapter 3

Synopsis: A life-altering phone call from Jaehyun prompts reflection on your personal life and career choices. Despite initial confusion and concern, he surprises you with a movie script offer. Memories intertwine with present decisions, revealing a longing for closeness. Accepting the script becomes a opportunity to have your best fried back, you miss the banter and tender moments you had with him more than you thought you did.

Warnings: minors do not interact!, for this chapter we've got a little angst, smut and crude words.

Pairing: jaehyun x f. reader

Word count: 1.760

Autor note: This chapter takes us back to Jaehyun call we saw in the preview of Promissa Redux, some parts are a little more detailed and at the end, there's a flashback were we get a glimpse of what their relationship as a married couple looked like. Sorry for taking so much time to update and enjoy!

Unauthorized copying or translation of this work is strictly prohibited.

-------- Preview with all the warnings and Chapter 2 -------------------

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Chapter 3 - One call away is not close enough

A call two years later changed everything.

Your career…

Your personal life as well.

You were fast asleep when the phone rang. Jaehyun’s name on the screen made you alert, is he alright? Did something happen?

Laying your back on the headboard you answered the call.

“Hi” he said using a normal tone. That made you a little less worried.

“Jaehyun, is something wrong?”

“Oh, no… I’m sorry… I didn’t check the time difference. I should have called another-

“Jae…spill, what’s the gossip, huh?”

He let out a little laugh since the gossip thing that a old joke between you two.

“No gossip, but I do have something.”

“Clearly, it’s something good or you wouldn’t be calling on impulse, spill, Jaehyun.”

“Yeah right…” He hesitated a bit coughing a bit, his telltale sign that he was nervous.

“I got sent this script for a movie, they want me as the main character…” He hesitated again which made you ask.

“Jeong Jaehyun, what did you do?”

“I sent a copy of the script to your mailbox.”

You could feel your sleepiness vanishing as you started to scold him.

“Jaehyun, are you nuts? You can’t ship stuff like this in the mail! What if gets – “

"It got delivered today." He interrupted, making you stop your thinking.

Scrambling for a thought since he didn’t elaborate, you asked.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with it?! I’m not a male actor, Jung."

"Read, dummy, read."

"And do what?"

"Tell me if you want it."

You opened your mouth to be obnoxious, pointing out the obvious, but Jaehyun must have listened to your 'I’m about to give you an earful' breath and went first.

"Listen, it’s an amazing script, just like the ones you used to want to work on. There’s an opening for a cinematographer, and I know you’re a hell of a good one, so if you want, it’s yours." He said in one breath, probably afraid you would interrupt again.

But from all he said, this part really got you confused.

"What do you mean it’s mine?"

"I showed the director your profile and portfolio, and he said yes."

"Fuck, Jaehyun." You didn’t know what to say since he was never one to interfere in your personal life since the D word.

"You’re sleepy, and I know how grumpy you can be at this hour, so… I still must tell you two more things, the job is in the states, probably 3-4 months of filming, and I am supposed to give an answer on the male character in 48 hours. We would have to work together, and we would probably have to strike a deal with my parents since we can’t pull Junnie out of school, so…"

You understood what he said, but you needed at least a cup of coffee to process it. But before you could say anything, he went off again.

"I can give it up if you want." He said almost like a whisper.

"Give what up?"

"The character."

"You didn’t like it?"

"No, but –

You interrupted again.

"So, if you do like it, why would you give it up?" It made no sense to you.

"For you –"

It still didn’t make sense why he would give it up.

"Give it up for ME?"

"I like it, Y/N, but this script has you written all over it… and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by being there."

Now you got him, yet he was about the last person in this world who could make you uncomfortable.

"Yuno…" You said in a softer tone.

You heard his breath and a soft "yeah?"

"I don’t hate you." You stated in your most soft yet firm tone, it was one of the things he must not forget about you two.

"I know, Y/N, I know."

"I am going to read it and think about what you said, ok? Don’t do anything hasty."

"Ok, I will let you go back to sleep."

"I’m not sleeping after all this, you know right?" You said, letting out a small huff.

"I know."

"What I am about to do is getting up, making some coffee and grabbing the script out of my mailbox, does it sound good to you?" You were being just a bit playful.

"It does, love."

That word made you warm like butter melting on a frying pan. Still, that wasn’t something out of the ordinary for him to call you. So, you let it slide.

"Well, for sure it’s better than staying in bed tossing and turning."

He let out a small giggle, he knew you were one of those to fight a lot with your bed at night.

"Good morning, love."

"Good afternoon to you?" You didn’t know what time zone he was on, so you tried.

"Try again." He said with a smiling voice.

"Good night!" You said like you had guessed the lottery numbers.

He let out a giggle sound and said, "Give little Nari 1000 kisses from me, will you?”

"Why just a thousand?" You said with a little pout as if he could see.

You could hear his playful tone in reply.

"Don’t you know our daughter? She might ask for in real life a thousand kisses; since you are the closest parent, you might fall victim to it, so I think that’s a great number for kisses."

You both giggled, Jung Nari, the lily to our garden, was at that phase where hyperbole would be a tough concept for her to grasp.

"Ok, fine." You agreed still giggling.

"I will call… stay safe."

"You too, Jaehyun."

With that you decided to get up put some warm clothes, while the coffee maker did her job, you went downstairs to get the script from your mailbox.

When the coffee was ready you got back to your room and pulled the curtains up letting a little of the city lights get into your room. Turning on your lamp you seated yourself on your favorite chair.

The script was big, over 200 pages, there was no way you would finish it before Nari would wake up, but when you reached page 50 you decided it was okay to close it.

Jaehyun was right, it was exactly the type of script you wanted to work with. You were deeply touched he even remembered you talking about it…

-----

“I believe in you.”

“You do?” You asked raising your head from Jaehyun’s chest so you could look at his eyes. “I don’t think I can do it, I think it’s too late”.

He was already shaking his head even before you could finish.

“It’s not late, if you want to change careers you know what to do, I don’t doubt for a second, you’ll get there.”

You were deeply touched by his words. It’s not like you thought he wouldn’t be supportive, you just never imagined needing to hear his genuine tone, the way he looked into your eyes ensuring you could perceive every feeling he conveyed.

Raising your head a little, you gave him a kiss. It was a sweet ‘thank you’ one.

When you disconnected and snuggled even more close to him on the couch, using your leg over his hips to feel every part of you against his comfortable warm body.

“So, I’m curious, if you could pick a type of movie to work on, what it would be like?”

“An 80’s movie for sure.”

“Why baby?”

“Well, you know they are my favorites, the whole boombox thing outside a girls window it's a classic, I also like Ten Reasons Why I Hate You, I love the whole enemies to lovers it’s an amazing plot if done right.”

“I don’t think you can work on movies like enemies to lovers, you might get a crush on Heath Ledger and I could lose my wife.”

You smacked the upper part of his butt for the almost funny insult.

“I do not have a crush on Heath Ledger!”

“Oh yeah babe, you do, you have all his movies.”

“Yes! Because he was an amazing actor!”

“Are you sure he’s not handsome?”

“No!”

“You literally drool when he is on screen baby…”

“Fine! That’s just because he has dimples!”

“Oh, I knew it!”

“You have dimples too, so shut it, Jae.”

“Oh, you’re soo nervous, you’re-

You stopped his sentence with a kiss. A warm one this time, you were trying to make a point so he would forget about stupid cute Heath Ledger and just kiss you dumb.

It took only a few seconds to feel his tongue invade your mouth, playing with yours, his hand that was on your lower back traveled to your butt check and he pressed your body even closer to his.

You moaned, his cock pressing very close to where you needed him, he lowered his lips to your neck. Using your hand, you guided his head to the spot you needed him, your fingers right over one of the dimples you loved so much.

“Yuno…I don’t like other man’s dimples, I just like yours…” You said between breaths.

Against your neck he let out a small laugh.

“Yeah baby, how much?”

“I like it so fucking much I want you to pass it on to our kids.”

“Oh, kids.”

“Yes, kids.” You also replied with your body undulating against his, all tingly with excitement.

He left your neck to tease your lips with his.

“Plural. Interesting.”

You just nodded pleading with your eyes for him to kiss you fully.

“So, you like the idea of babies…

“Not really the point.”

“So, what is the point?” He kissed you a little harder for a few seconds but pulled away again.

“I like trying to make babies with you so much, I know one day I’m going to go insane and tell you to forget the condoms.”

“Or maybe one day I will fuck you so hard and soo good the condom would break.” He completed.

“That’s exactly my point. Now stop being a tease.”

He laughed but finally went back to kissing you.

------

You shook your head so the memory would go away, Jaehyun was the love of your life, your already happy ending was Nari.

But you missed your best friend.

He had a strange sense of humor, was calm and knew what to say every time you needed him.

You missed him so much, so that’s how you convinced yourself to accept the script. Maybe it was a way you could also be close to your best friend again.

---------------

Taglist:

@dulyrana @clblnz 💚

@electric-hearts @hyuukah @baeseungcheolie @girlinbangtan @johnbanana @fashion-addictedd @peachfulnight @angel63715 @daegalismybiasinnct @chloemargaret @phattyboo90 @oyasueme @peachfulnight 💚💚

@lijennoow @crazywittysassy @matchaforyanna @ihrtsolana @the-universe-in-you-jjh @iarayara @mrsuhnshine @dilfjohnnyaf @xuyiyang @monstanctiny21 @jccv @peachytokki @jaescafe 💚💚💚

The ones in bold are the ones I wasn't able to tag and will be sending the update in priv.

This chapter was a pain in the &&& to post coz tumblr keeps NOT letting me post anything so it's missing spaces and format so so sorry about that.

Tysm!

#nct smut #nct x reader #jaehyun smut #jeongjaehyun #fic:promissa redux #jaehyun fluff

[jacks347]

Thanks to the brilliant GB here on Tumblr I was reminded of the dreamscape episode of Bastard Warrior with that whole debacle and you know I wouldn't be here if I didn't have an opinion.

Let's talk about how Albus’s perfect world didn't have Faith in it until she put herself into it.

I've brought up this point singularly in the Discord before but this is my Tumblr where I'm making it a habit of going way too into detail about shit so here we go again.

My singular point was "Even in a world of his own design, Albus refuses to make a world where Faith loves him because he doesn't feel he deserves her."

Which is...arguably correct for the time it was proposed but far too surface level for my liking.

Because even if that is the case, why would she be completely excluded? It's not exactly like Albus is known for having a lot of friends so why would he completely cut out one of the only people that has ever treated him with genuine kindness in his life? Why not add her as just a friendly face like Devlin? He made his brother a bartender so that he's never away from him but couldn't even make Faith a passing merchant?

And then I remembered something literally as I was typing this. Yes, the world is based off of Albus’s desires and what he believes his perfect world would be but he didn't actually make it. Kravitas did.

Y'know, the demon that Faith kicked in the dick literally two episodes earlier? The one that already didn't like her and now likes her even less? The one who knows she's one of Albus’s weaknesses because he cares about her whether he likes it or not? That Kravitas?

Yeah you can see where I'm going with this, can't you?

What if Kravitas purposefully cut her out so she couldn't have an effect on Albus? Completely blocked her from his memory and made a world where she didn't exist so that Albus’s love for her didn't break the illusion and snap him out of the dream.

Am I using my own lore point of "love transcends all" to justify this? A little bit, yes. But I fully believe that if Kravitas had given Albus that storybook ending where he gets the girl and has the white picket fence life, he would eventually realize something wasn't right. He would eventually realize that this wasn't Faith, that something was missing. There's something inherently real about being in love with someone that you can't just replicate, especially with someone in Albus’s situation. And in a world with untraumatized Albus, there would be something crucial missing from his relationship with Faith that Kravitas would have no way to replace.

So what do you do with something you can't fix that will eventually break down your entire operation?

You get rid of it.

So in order to preserve Albus’s dreamscape for as long as possible, Kravitas got rid of Faith. Let Albus have his name, his brother, his career as a paladin, and never tell him that his heart is far beyond the clouds with a woman he forgot exists.

Obviously it didn't work cause Faith is so headstrong she could crack diamonds and wasn't gonna let some silly thing like a dimensional barrier keep her out but an attempt was made and I respect it.

Do I also believe Kravitas could've gone the complete other end of the spectrum and given Albus a harem so he wouldn't need Faith? Yes. Do I think it would've worked any better? Maybe. Possibly. Though I think Albus’s need to attach his self-worth to his sex drive comes from that trauma I mentioned earlier so in a world where that doesn't happen, maybe not. Who knows. I never claimed to be good at this.

Also can we talk about Faith entering that dream world? Just dropped out of the sky and faceplanted into the dirt, I'm shocked she didn't break anything. Albus finds some random lady face down in the grass probably looking like she was contemplating every decision she's ever made in her life and was just like "?? You good?"

100/10, no notes, absolutely flawless.

#asmr roleplay #good boy audios #gba bastard warrior #bastard warrior #gba faithful #gba albus #gba devlin #i think too much #many thoughts head full #i told you i was finally giving Redacted a break