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ninyard · 3 years

Note

part two of the stefan/andrew au PLEASE

WELP this might not be the part two people wanted but here’s what I wanted so~ enjoy!

(Part 1 ? is here)

((this got rly long so I had to stop but if u want a third part lmk 🥺👉👈))

Neil made his first mistake by not bolting the opposite way when Coach Hernandez told him he had visitors. An Exy racquet to the chest and a single glance at those bright hazel eyes turned Neils entire world sideways in seconds. This couldn’t be happening. Neil almost couldn’t hold back the ‘Andrew?’ that wished to escape his lips. Of course, this wasn’t Stefan’s Andrew, but Neil knew that already. Life had turned Andrew Minyard into a man of manufactured emotions, a life of violence and misled decisions landing him on Coach Wymack’s pity party guest list that was the Foxes’ lineup. Andrew didn’t flinch looking at Neil, and Neil begged the universe to have erased the memory of Stefan from Andrew mind. He hung around a motel, for Christ’s sake, how many other people would he have met before and after Stefan? Neil Josten looked totally different, with puberty, hair dye and new contact lenses on his side.

The second mistake he made was not realising Kevin Day was going to be around. If Andrew wasn’t dangerous enough, Kevin was even more so. Neil couldn’t believe his eyes the moment he looked closely at the teams lineup from the previous year. Kevin Day would have forgotten Nathaniel Wesninski, he was sure of it, but to look across to a picture of the teams goalkeeper and seeing the short blond boy he met in California? It was a sure sign for Neil to stay the hell away from South Carolina.

Neil’s biggest mistake was deciding to push his luck and take a plane there to sign with the Foxes. He was signing a death wish; but he didn’t care anymore. He was a dead man walking, living off stolen hours. It was only a matter of time before someone caught up with him. His mother was dead, god, his mom, Mary Hatford, the woman who taught him how to be. It wasn’t just like Debby, who died leaving Toronto, or Alice, who died leaving London, or Judy who died on the train between Germany and Prague. This was permanent, and Neil didn’t think he could run for much longer.

Andrew didn’t say anything during their meeting, in which he had plenty of opportunities to at least look like he recognised Neil, or the features of Stefan still left on his face. Kevin didn’t say anything either, and his words made it clear he didn’t remember Nathaniel, either. Neil was walking a thing line between life and death, with Stefan on one shoulder and Nathaniel on the other, waiting to tip him over, to expose the truth, to leave him buried like his mother.

The first night Neil slept - or more so lay on the couch in silence for hours, brain filled with noise and regret - in David’s apartment, he couldn’t stop thinking about Andrew. He couldn’t stop thinking about the kid with white-blond hair and a toothy smile, who ran his fingers so gently over Stefan’s skin, like he would break if Andrew dared get any closer. He couldn’t stop thinking about the playground, and the motel, and the kisses… and the punches, the kicks, the pulling of hair, the slaps across the face with yells to accompany them. Before Neil knew it he was stuck with his face hovering over the toilet bowl, his stomach threatening to burst at any moment. After a minute of gagging and spitting into the water, Neil washed his face and headed towards the balcony that David told him to smoke on if he needed to. This was one of those needing to moments.

Weeks went by without any indication he was going to be caught. Kevin looked at him like a stupid amateur, which was good for Nathaniel’s sake, but for Neil? Neil, who fought like his life depended on the racquet in his hands? Neil, who ran like his father was hot on his heels every single time he set off down the court? It hurt him to be insulted so often, but Kevin was leagues above him when he played. Neil was never going to be good enough. Andrew avoided him as much as possible. Nicky told him that was just how Andrew was; if you brought him no benefit, or if you made him bored, he would put you on a high shelf and never look at you again. By the way Andrew only spoke to Neil when Neil stood up to Kevin, Neil thought it was obvious that Andrew didn’t recognise him.

And then came the invite to Columbia.

“Get rid of the contacts, by the way.” Nicky had brushed off the realisation like it was nothing. It sounded like ‘you have something in your teeth’ but felt like a screaming siren above Neil’s head. It felt like a punch to the gut, like a gun to his head. “Andrew’s decision. And brown, Neil? You’re so predictable and boring it’s adorable.” He’d left a bag of clothes with Neil.

When Neil looked at his blue eyes, he felt too many feelings he couldn’t describe, or name. He felt like he was looking at his father. He felt like he was looking into the mirror like he had the last time he was Nathaniel. The last time he was in Baltimore. He’d cycled through the catalogue of contacts during his time on the run, but never once went back to blue. They were the icy eyes of a murderer, not the eyes of quiet, boring Neil. But at least they weren’t green. Neil was worried about Kevin recognising him by his eyes, but it was going to be dark out by the time they left. Neil would just have to stay in the dark around Kevin, and hope he got too drunk to notice, too drunk to remember.

When Andrew’s group came to pick Neil up, there was a change in dynamic Neil hadn’t seen before. Instead of Nicky being the middle man in their conversations, or Kevin being the reason to talk, Andrew was taking charge of their night. Neil’s heart raced every time he looked into his eyes. Every time he heard that voice it told him to run, the same voice as before, only deeper, emotionless. Neil couldn’t imagine this Andrew crying. Neil couldn’t imagine this Andrew being open, about his sexuality, or his feelings. If he didn’t look almost the same only older, he would probably doubt this was even the same Andrew.

“Oh! Oh, now, that’s interesting!” Andrew had commented as Neil left his dorm room. Nicky, Aaron and Kevin had walked ahead of the two of them. When they’d disappeared around the corner into the elevator down, Andrew turned and grabbed Neil’s face to inspect it. “What a change, hmm? Blue to brown is a bit drastic for fashion, don’t you think?”

“I’ve never liked my eyes,” Neil spoke through the fingers that rested over his lips. “I’ve worn them brown most my life.” Andrew tutted as Neil spoke, but left that thought there. His features were angry, like Neil had insulted him, but he S miled like he’d been talking to his best friend. He placed a cigarette between his lips as they joined the others in the elevator.

Before long, they were walking through the doors of Eden’s Twilight, music pumping and swirling through the air, vibrating their bodies as they walked. Andrew motioned for Neil to follow him to the bar once they’d found a table.

“Shots on me.” He’d come down from his manic high, waiting for his dust adrenaline to kick in. His smile was gone, but his tone and way of speaking was still the same. “What do you drink?”

“I don’t,” Neil answered, having to yell over the music.

“Sure you do.” Andrew waved him off. “I’m being polite. What do you drink?” He asked again, as the bartender came over.

“A coke for me.” Neil told the man behind the bar before he could ask Andrew. “Just a little ice.”

“See, now, Pinocchio, when someone offers you a gift you say thank you and accept it.” Andrew turned towards the man. “Roland. This is Neil. He’s a newbie.”

“I hear you,” Roland nodded, already placing shot glasses on the tray he’d put on the bar. “My choice, with dash for the new kid.” He poured a clear spirit into eight shot glasses, and used the fountain tap to fill a larger glass with cola. Andrew passed cash over and waved off his change as a tip. Before Neil knew it he was heading through the crowd, Andrew balancing the tray on one hand held high above his head. They reached the table and nothing has spilled, and before Neil knew it, the shot glasses were stacked in a tower on the tray as Neil nursed his coke.

“You don’t drink.” Andrew turned to Neil after watching the others take to the dance floor, coming up on their high, dusting when they couldn’t be seen. “Why?”

“Hate the taste, mostly.” That would be the truth if ‘taste’ actually meant ‘feeling of being out of control of my body’. He shrugged at Andrew’s dissatisfaction with that answer.

“You come to university and you don’t drink?” Andrew scoffed. “Do you smoke?” Neil shook his head. He’d tried an edible by accident once in some cafe in Europe, and got so paranoid they had to move on that night. He swore he saw his dad staring in the windows in the red-light district, a blunt between his lips, a smile made of murder wrapped around it.

“Not for me.” Neil took a sip from the cold coke. “Hard to find when it’s not legal and I hate the cops. Takes too much effort to roll.” Neil lied, like he knew what he was talking about, but he just remembered watching people in the cities he went to, everywhere having their local stoners, the folks who sat in the parks without a care in the world.

“You don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you won’t dust.” Andrew rattled off the options. “Is it molly you’d prefer?” And when Neil shook his head again: “Psychedelics? Benzos?”

“I’m just not interested.” Neil looked into his glass, focusing on the ice. If he kept looking at Andrew he felt like he would crack. “Don’t we get tested before games anyway? What’s the point?” Andrew didn’t answer before he heading back up the bar. Neil didn’t follow this time. When he came back, there was ten shot glasses on the table. Again, eight filled with an unnamed spirit that burned Neil’s nose and twisted his stomach. The other two were cola.

“I’d hate for the new boy to feel left out.” Aaron, Nicky and Kevin had arrived back to the table for their shots. Andrew handed Neil one of his glasses. Neil knocked it back when the others did. It was ordinary coke, no surprises, no weird tastes, no reason for Neil to believe Andrew would have given him a shot of alcohol instead. That was, until he clinked glasses with the others and swallowed the second shot in a quick movement. He felt the alcohol burn his throat. It warmed his chest, but the familiar feeling wasn’t what worried him. It was the taste of salt on his tongue when he hadn’t licked any before hand. He quickly excused himself from the table and left for the bathroom.

Andrew had drugged him. He didn’t know why, but all he knew was the crackers were already coursing through his veins with deadly adrenaline. He was sure his racing heart wasn’t helping. It didn’t help, either, when Nicky reached the stairs before he did, and pulled him in for a salty, dusty kiss. Neil pushed him off as discreetly as he could.

“Nothing?” Nicky complained as he Neil bounced up the sticky stairs two steps at a time. Neil was sure he heard him say something about Neil being too hot to be straight, but the roaring anxiety in his ears was enough to drown it out. He locked himself in a stall and tried to best to throw up. He hadn’t eaten before he’d left, and he hadn’t drank anything other than he soda, so his attempts were fairly futile. A knock at the door interrupted him, and when he answered with a quick ‘occupied!’ He heard the door unlocking from the outside. Andrew pushed his way into the cramped stall and shut the door behind him. Before Neil could even begin to object Andrew had grabbed him by the collar and shoved him against the wall, Neil struggling to keep his balance with the toilet in the way.

“You don’t like the taste of alcohol or you’re afraid of losing control? Telling your truths?” Andrew’s drug induced smile had returned with mischief and malice. “Let’s see how this does!” His voice was low as he spoke, with an enthusiasm to his words that made Neil sweat. When he went to protest, Andrew covered his mouth with his free hand.

“Shut up,” He clicked his tongue. “You have spent your entire extended stay here lying to me and lying to poor, gullible Coach. I see the way you look at Kevin, too. Either you’re lying about not swinging or there’s something deeper to that intimidation.” Neil tried to get out a ‘I don’t swing.’ Before Andrew shushed him again. “Don’t keep lying, newbie! One last chance at honesty.” He lifted his hand no more than an inch from Neil’s mouth. Neil was sweating, his hands shaky, his mind turning into fog, desperate to cling to any sort of euphoria it could find. When it’s search came up empty, it filled his stomach, his head, his hands, his feet, with anxious buzzing instead. He couldn’t ignore the nauseating feelings the drugs brought with them.

“I don’t swing,” Neil stood his ground. “I don’t.” Andrew brought his hand up to Neils hair and yanked him down to his level, hard. He kept an inescapable grip in his curls as their faces almost touched.

“Still don’t know?” Andrew pouted in fake-pity. “Ten years later and you still don’t know?” Neil’s stomach would’ve fallen from his body if it’s got the chance. His heart would’ve went with it when Andrew continued. “There better be a good reason for Neil existing, Stefan, and I can’t wait to hear it.”

“What?” He tried, but it was no use. His voice failed him, cracking as the futile attempts at lying left his lips. “I don’t know what-“

“Shut up.” Andrew repeated. His grip not relaxing. Neil was worried he was pulling his hair from the root, but that was probably the least of his worries. Probably. “Do not lie to me again.” Neil searched his eyes for a sliver of doubt. A tiny, tiny possibility that he might think he was wrong. It wasn’t there. He’d been caught.

“Andrew.” He wrapped his hands around Andrew’s wrist, the one hovering over his head, muscles tense from the grip on his head. “Can we talk without ripping my fucking hair out?”

Before Neil could react, Andrew had let go of his hair, but in doing so, had swung his head with full force into the side walls of the stall. His balance finally failed him, but Andrew caught him by the neck of the black turtleneck he’d been gifted. He heard a few stitches pop, but it didn’t matter. The sudden movements turned Neil’s stomach with a violent wave, and he gagged hard, his stomach threatening to come out his mouth. He leaned over to spit into the toilet and bared his teeth at Andrew, breathing heavily through them.

“So he lives,” Andrew smiled, his pupils blown, a white-knuckled hold on Stefan-Neil’s collar. Neil was afraid he was going to pass out. His body was on fire, his mind screaming like an emergency broadcast alarm. “Tell me you didn’t know, oh humour me! I’d hate to think you’re stupid enough to come here still in possession of the memory from there.”

“I didn’t think you’d remember.” Neil didn’t break eye contact.

“So you ARE that stupid!” Andrew pushed him back, letting go of his top. Neil tried to assess his escape routes, but it was no use. He couldn’t get out of this. “I remembered little Stefan the second Kevin showed me your file. I didn’t think it would be you, surely it couldn’t be, but our little visit to fuckport, Arizona couldn’t lie to me like you did. So is it Neil, or is it Stefan?”

“Neither.” He spat out the honesty, worried if he waited, another lie would take it’s place. “But you can call me Neil.”

“Oh, no, no!” Andrew grabbed him by the neck, holding his jaw in a way that could become a choke very quickly. “Maybe I’ll stick with Stefan. You don’t get a say. You know, I thought mommy killed you.” A knife twisted in Neil’s gut.

“She’s dead.” Neil tried to breath through his unwanted come-up. “That’s the only reason I’m here. Because she wasn’t alive to stop me.”

“Did you do it?” He held Neils face like the world would end if he let go. He held even tighter when Neil tried to pull away.

“No.” That was all he said. He thought about continuing, considering the fact he was a dead man already. But he stopped himself. How could he say it was his dad without saying he was the mafias right-hand-murderer? Was he wasting his time lying?

“Didn’t think you did.” Andrew laughed, barely even blinking as he intimidated Neil. “No balls then, no balls now.”

“I was twelve.” He spat through crushed cheeks. “We were kids.”

“Old enough to be a liar.” Andrew let go of Neil’s face with a forceful push and turned to open the stall door. “You’re going to lead us outside. If you deviate or try to run I’ll kill you. I will kill you.” So Neil did just that. He led the way in silence, down the stairs and towards the exit. When Nicky stopped and excitedly asked where they were going, Neil looked back to Andrew who waved his pack of cigarettes, a smile on his face, no essence of a lie present. Neil just kept walking, kept his head down, and tried to ignore the pain on the side of his head. When they reached the outside of the club, the brisk air biting their exposed skin, Neil turned to the first man he saw, a club-goer at the top of the queue, and swung a punch up. Andrew noticed the second his hands left his sides, balled up with a plan. The man threw a hefty punch back, shouting intimidations, knocking Neil’s short frame to the ground. As quick as humanly possible, Andrew had hoisted him up, wrapped his arms around his back and twisted his wrist in such a way that a single jolt would break it. He held him in that position with one hand, putting all his strength into keeping Neil still.

“He gets crazy on tequila!” Andrew laughed, shaking his head as he took out his wallet and pulled out a fifty note. He threw it at the guy as compensation, his friends holding him back from beating Neil’s vulnerable, ballsy ass. He continued yelling as Andrew hauled him away. He grunted in pain as he refused to loosen his grip on Neil’s wrists. He walked him around the back of the club, to an empty, barely lit parking lot. He threw him to the ground so quickly he didn’t have time to stop his fall.

“Every moment I spend around you, you prove you’re much fucking dumber than I thought.” Andrew spat down, then crouching down to Neil’s level, balancing on the tops of his feet. Neil cradled his head, arms wrapped around the nape of his neck. He was sure he had a concussion. He could barely open his eyes through the pulsing blood rushing through his head, but forced himself to, to look up at Andrew’s smiling face.

“What happened?” Spit dripped down his chin, blood slowly trickling from the busted lip he’d earned himself. “What happened to that Andrew?” Andrew froze for half a second, and Neil noticed. “The Andrew who cried because he was gay? The kid who actually fucking cared about anything?”

“Oh, you are treading thin fucking ice for someone who doesn’t know how to swim.” Andrew tilted his head. “Mention another precious memory and I won’t hesitate to actually break your wrist next time.”

“Why?” He spat blood at Andrew’s feet. “Afraid somebody might remember what you’re actually like when you’re not pretending to be a sociopath?” Andrew opened his mouth at the challenge, a smile creeping up one side of his face. “Are you afraid to actually have someone around you know anything about you? I’m a threat. That’s all you care about.” He continued. “What, do you think I’ll use it against you? You’ve been treating me like shit since we met. If I was going to stab you in the back I’d have done it already, asshole.”

“Since we met, again.” He corrected the most irrelevant part of Neils sentiment.

“Let me go now and I’ll move on. You won’t ever see me again.” Neil bargained. Andrew’s eyebrows twitched ever so slightly. “This time I’ll get a chance to say goodbye.”

“No,” Andrew stopped him. “You don’t get to arrive in to my life like a tornado and disappear. You don’t get to dig your own grave and push me into it.” He bent down to get closer to Neils shaking face. “You’re going to tell me exactly what happened first. Tell me what she did to you.”

“No.” Neil strained. “I moved on. You were dangerous. You almost got me killed.”

“Boohoo, do you hear my tiny violin, liar?” Andrew grabbed a hold of his hair again. Neil let out a cry of pain, trying to pry Andrew’s fingers from his scalp. “Talk. Talk or I will get you killed.”

“My father is a very dangerous man. He’s murdered more people than there are days in a year.” Neil wiped the blood from his lips. It stung as he did so, but it didn’t matter. He took out a small stack of IDs from his wallet and threw them across to Andrew. For a second, anyone would’ve thought they were real, but closer inspection killed that thought. Andrew was holding a driver’s license belonging to Chris Angle, 21, from New York. A European passport card signed by George Debois from Paris. A gym membership from Seattle, an employee pass from Toronto, two more drivers licenses from cities across the globe. All the names were different, but they didn’t belong to different people. They all had pictures of Neil on them. Some he had long hair, short hair, an unfortunate buzz-cut. He wore a beard in some, the baby face of a teenager in others. “You aren’t the only one I’ve lied to. Don’t think you’re special.” Andrew snapped the IDs with angry force. Neil took a deep breath, knowing the last memories of his mother were buried in the face of Christopher Hart, snapped in half, just like that. He continued searching through his wallet. Deep into the card pockets of the tattered leather. He didn’t look up when he heard Andrew drop the scraps of his identities on the ground. Neil found what he was looking for and threw it again, across the space separating them, it clattering by his feet. “If my mom found that she’d have killed me herself. We ran so she could protect me. I made that so much harder on her by meeting you.” Andrew inspected the card he’d been thrown. An under-eye twitch and a slow inhale accompanied his realisation. “You want to hate me for what she made me do, fine, but it was inevitable. You were never going to be the reason that made us stay.”

Neil had given Andrew something he couldn’t bare to part with. His old wallet stayed buried deep, deep in his belongings, so well hidden his mother hadn’t even known it existed. He usually kept his current IDs on his person, and never in a wallet. It was a ticking time bomb, but Neil needed something. He needed a reason to feel, and if that was the memory of the good day his mom had had when they finally showered after weeks of baby wipes and deodorant, it was something to hold on to. Neil had to stay grounded in some sort of reality. He was on the run, sure, but the people he met, the things he’d done? They were real. It hurt to see those memories snapped on the ground like trash, but Andrew didn’t snap the memory he held in his hands.

Andrew held the library card of Stefan Montgomery. It had a faded black and white photo on it, scratched out with time. He had begged the librarian to let him have the card without taking a picture, but she had insisted it was necessary so people didn’t have more than one. In the photo was a scared little boy, a gash on his cheek, with crispy curls and a skinny face. Neil remembered walking to the library when he couldn’t find Andrew, taking out books to help him learn any of the languages he needed to know. The library in Oakland taught him about the history of Spain, and the culture in France. There was something about Stefan that Neil didn’t want to forget. He’d kept that library card safe as if it were a lifeline, like he knew it would come in handy some day.

And then Andrew threw it across the empty parking lot like a frisbee.

“She didn’t see anything.” Neil tried, as if it would help. “We left because I made a friend. Not because… you know.”

“I was not your friend.” Andrew stood up and put a cigarette between his teeth. He lit it, one puff, two puff, three puffs until it burned red. “I was never your friend.”

“You were.” Neil struggled to stand up and join him. “Don’t lie to a liar.”

“You remember it wrong!” He took a short drag and flicked ash as he spoke. “You were a toy to play with when there was nothing else to do.”

“You could’ve went home.” Neil took the cigarette from Andrew’s fingers. “But hey, I wasn’t the only one who needed to escape heavy hands, right?” He pulled the smoke into his lungs and breathed out before flicking the barely smoked cigarette away. “You were my friend. You had Stefan killed because I cared about you when Stefan wasn’t supposed to care about anybody.”

“Be quiet.” Andrew pulled another cigarette from the packet and squared up to Neil who was standing so close he could feel Andrew’s breath hot on his face. “You didn’t care.”

“Are you listening?” Neil spat again, the heat of the cigarette having hurt his cracked lips. “We left because of you. Because I let you in, and I’m sorry you were collateral damage in our war against the world but fuck, we didn’t have a choice. Do you think I wanted to leave? I was going to leave you a note, but she wouldn’t leave my side until we were in another city and Stefan was just another name in the pile. Fuck you if you don’t want to believe that. I don’t owe you an explanation but you’ve got one anyway. Tell me to leave and I’ll go. Tell me you understand and I’ll go, Andrew.”

“I waited for you.” Andrew exhaled honestly through cigarette smoke. “Every day! The fourth day I tried knocking on the door of your motel room. Fifth day a random couple opened the door and I knew you weren’t coming back. Why should I give you another chance, hmm? When you so easily could run away before, who’s to say you won’t do it again?”

“I’m not asking for another chance,” Neil head was pounding. He felt like he could pass out, his ears ringing and body jittery. “I don’t know, maybe I’m asking you to remember what I meant to you.” Andrew pursed his lips at that. He was struggling to keep his composure, like the memory of before was chipping away slowly at this version of Andrew. He was holding himself together with twitches and small fidgets.

“I hate you.” He said, coldly. He had lit his cigarette and smoked through half of it before speaking again. Neil just stood, suddenly thinking about if Kevin were to find the IDs scattered on the floor. He didn’t even think he could lie to Nicky about that. He would pick them up in a moment, but he couldn’t afford to lose Andrew’s interest in the conversation. If Neil got distracted now he could ruin every chance he possible had at reconciling some sort of relationship with Andrew.

“I hate what the world has turned you into.” Andrew snorted a laugh at Neil’s dramatics.

“Oh, you are a pipe bomb.” Andrew started to walk away, but when Neil grabbed his arm to stop him, in a quicker movement he had twisted Neil’s arm in some sort of self defence move that hurt. “You don’t have a right to touch me anymore. Keep your lying hands to yourself or I’ll break every one of your fingers.” He didn’t let go immediately.

“Do you miss it?” Neil searched Andrew’s eyes for something, anything. “Being vulnerable? Being comforted instead of being alone, blaming the world for your problems?” Before Neil could even think to keep going, Andrew had used his free hand to manoeuvre a knife from his arm bands and hold it up to Neil’s face.

“I dare you to keep pushing.” His words were casual, but a threat nonetheless. “Stop trying to control a life you left. I won’t be a scratching post for your mommy issues, runaway.”

“What did Jakub do to you?” Neil brought a memory out from the depths. As soon as the name left his lips, Andrew’s entire body hardened and his eyes turned to glass. He slashed a cut into Neil’s cheekbone without hesitation and proceeded to let go of his arm and jam a thumb into the fresh wound. “Why did you spend your childhood alone in a playground?” Neil spoke through gritted teeth.

“If you want to keep your fantasy alive I advise you to really shut up now.” Andrew pushed him backwards, a final squeeze in the gash as he did so. Even more blood dripped down his face. Andrew wiped his hands in his pants and picked up the ignored cigarette he’d dropped in the altercation. “You are going in circles. This is your last warning.”

“My mom nearly broke half the bones in my body trying to get rid of the memory of you.” Neil took his spot back up so close to Andrews face he could practically see every one of the pores in his face. He still had freckles scattered across his face, his skin soft, with faint acne scars here and there across his cheeks. “I never stopped thinking about you.”

“You should have.” Andrew threw his cigarette at Neil. “Make your choice. Run like you’re used to.” He looked him up and down one more time and turned on his feet back towards the club. Neil didn’t follow. He started to pick up the remnants of his past and he felt his nose ache in psychosomatic pain, remembering a nose-breaking punch his mother threw when Neil dared asked if they could stay. He spat again, still trying to get the salty taste out of his mouth. His hands were shaking so badly he could barely hold onto the shards of plastic evidence of who he used to. After picking them all up he had to stop, and sit down. He was afraid he was having a panic attack, and he couldn’t tell if it was because of the drugs still ravishing his system, or if it was because of Andrew. Maybe it was both. It probably was. He didn’t think he could’ve spoken the truth if he wasn’t high, but God, if he were sober it would’ve been so much easier to run. High Neil was emotional Neil, empathetic Neil, hurt Neil. He’d only had the experience of being really, genuinely high a few times, and every single time just reminded him how much he hated the feeling of being out of control. Of his nerves, his feelings, every fibre in his being misfiring and doing the opposite to what he wanted. His brain was begging him to feel the chemicals it was pumping out, but all it did was amplifying the aching feeling in his chest. He let out a noise that didn’t quite resemble a cry, or a sigh, or a grunt. It was a noise born from pain, a mixture of anxiety and heartbreak, maybe. He wasn’t sure what that felt like. Maybe this was it.

He tried to steady his breath and he stumbled across the empty lot. The booming bass from the music at Eden’s practically shook the ground as he walked, at least, it sure felt like it did. He stumbled as he reached down to pick up the library card so carelessly thrown away. It hurt him even more looking at Stefan, feeling this pang in his stomach that wished things could’ve been different. He didn’t think he liked Andrew like that, and being on the same team was just the destruction of a childhood crush. Neil tried to come up with excuses in his head to how Andrew felt, but it was obvious he had thrown Stefan into the bad memories pile a long, long time ago. Neil showing up again just ripped through Andrew’s closure, and knowing he had feelings beneath what he showed, he was probably hurting too. It didn’t seem like it, but maybe he was. Neil had put the ID away, and looked around. He had no real idea where he was, or how to get home. Before he knew it, he was sprinting away from the club, going nowhere, going anywhere but there. His head wasn’t in a place to decide that he should stay. He’s worth it. His heart raced at the thought of Andrew’s face, looking down at the long unused library card. He’s worth it. Neil couldn’t look back. He was wondering what Andrew was telling the others, and if they would believe him. He wondered if he’d told Nicky about Neil’s Idontknow sexuality, and that’s why Nicky thought it okay to kiss him. But he didn’t feel anything with Nicky. He didn’t look at anyone in the way he looked at Andrew. He ran and ran and ran until he’d sweat out the drugs, until his head was more focused on trying to breathe than it was on Andrew, and his mom. It took a while, and he was lost when he stopped. Unfamiliar streets, him a stranger in someone else’s hometown. Maybe that made things worse. This feeling was too familiar. Lost, lost, lost. Sometimes lost became familiar, became home. He didn’t think he could be un-lost again.

Part 3

#this is about older andy n Neil #so pls send an ask if u want more of them when they were young #cos I love Stefan + Andrew #Andrew minyard #Neil josten #andreil #tfc #aftg #the foxhole court #all for the game #andreil hc #just want ppl to read this bc I’m really happy with it :(

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professionalfangirl24601 · 3 years

Text

When queen Tilda gave birth to male identical twins, she knew it could be a threat to her country's future stability. In order to avoid the brothers fighting for the throne, she decided to give one of them up. He would be raised by a maid and then imprisoned with an iron mask constantly covering his face.

She did it without telling her brother, cardinal Luther. She regretted it when her husband, the king died after two years, but she couldn't do anything there. She kept it a secret for the next 16 years. She didn't say it even in her last confession.

Aaron Minyard thought he was an only child his entire life. He'd never had a reason to doubt the fact. He was as sure in it, as in the fact that he loved Katelyn. Katelyn's father had been the royal doctor for decades. Being a doctor was outlawed for women, but Aaron let her sneak into the palace dressed as a man, in order to help her father and do the work she loved.

One day Katelyn told him that her father was the one who delivered Aaron, and he had secretly revealed to her that Aaron had a twin brother. The man didn't know anything about what happened to him. All he knew was the name, Andrew.

Aaron didn't know what his uncle would do, so he secretly ordered his chief of police, David Wymack, to search for Andrew. The search lasted for years. They didn't have much information and they weren't even sure that Andrew was alive.

At that time, It got time for Aaron to get married. Cardinal Luther's health was getting steadily worse and he wanted Aaron to have an heir in case something happened. He was set on marrying him to princess Renee of the palatinate for the alliance with Germany.

Aaron didn't even want to be the king, he wanted to become a doctor, and he couldn't even marry the woman he loved? His last hope was finding Andrew.

Just as they almost give up, seemingly an ordinary peasant named Neil found him in the Bastille. When Aaron offered Neil to be a musketeer, he couldn't resist it. It was his childhood dream. Plus, if he was under Wymack's protection, his father would have less of a chance of killing him.

So Neil joined the King's personal guards, a ragtag group of people who earned their positions because of hard work and talent, rather than their parents and money.

Meanwhile, Andrew got to see the outside world practically for the first time, since he'd been in prison for like 10 years (He also got to tan, because he was ridiculously light-skinned). Before that he was mostly kept in the house, so no one could see the resemblance. Andrew didn't even know why he was in prison and then they found out he was the king's twin brother and that he wanted Andrew to switch places with him.

Nobody told Luther about Andrew, he noticed that something was wrong but couldn't even imagine that he wasn't Aaron. Aaron and Katelyn got married in secret and Andrew married Renee. He didn't really want to, but who knew what they'd do if he refused, or if they found out that he was gay. He had heard about Nicky, Luther's son who got exiled by his father for being gay. Andrew didn't think they'd be that merciful to him.

Aaron's musketeers, with the exception of Wymack who was with Aaron every moment of the day, had to protect Andrew now, even though Andrew was stronger than most of them. There isn't much to do in prison other than working out.

Neil and Andrew already knew each other. Neil was a prisoner in Bastille too. His father, the cardinal's chief of police, put him there after he caught him. He had seen Andrew's face by accident and when he ran away, promised him he'd be back to break him out too.

Neil instantly became friends with the king's personal musketeers (not in a conventional way. He challenged three of the foxes to a duel in D'Artagnan style) and soon heard that they were searching for the king's twin brother. Neil didn't really know what the king looked like but he came up with a plan. Finding the twin would make the king owe him a favor and he would ask him to free Andrew. He really didn't expect things to go that easily.

Neil and Andrew get even closer and then get together. Renee understood it, and she and Andrew became good friends.

So they make do like that, with only Wymack and his crew knowing about Andrew (besides Aaron and Katelyn) until Luther dies. Then they tell the truth to people and make clear that they'll both be kings and have equal powers. Aaron studies to be a doctor, though, since Andrew is better at being the King and seemingly likes it more too.

Andrew orders to kill Nathan and all his inner circle. They allow Nicky to come home, and he does, just not alone, but with Erik. Aaron is okay with it, so Andrew lets go of the irrational fear. He and Neil stop sneaking around.

Riko is an arrogant aristocrat who tries going against the kings and even starting a revolution, but the musketeers are there every time to put him in his place.

Andrew gets him killed too :)

#this is a strange mixture of #aftg #the man in the iron mask #the three musketeers #and the versailles #Andrew and Renee's friendship would be exactly like Philippe and liselotte's #neil and renee would be friends like the chevalier and liselotte #i had a lot of cursed versions until i settled on this #aftg au #aftg fanfic #aftg royalty au

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willinglyhomosexual · 5 years

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Nicky and videos

Nicky films Every Single Thing All The Time and it's so annoying

The videos are everywhere. Youtube, vine, instagram, fucking facebook - everywhere. The fans are well fed

Some of the classics include:

- a video of Aaron and Kevin drunkenly belting the pokemon theme song

- the foxes in a supermarket. Andrew setting down a family-sized tub of ice cream into the cart. Kevin putting it back on the shelf. Andrew placing it in the cart again. Kevin putting it back. Unwavering eye contact. It goes on for a solid minute

- Neil smearing ice cream on Andrew's face and then saying "there, now you're short AND sweet!" after which there's simultaneous groaning from off screen. Andrew just stares blank-faced into the camera like he's in The Office

- a grayscale video of Kevin yelling at a zoned-out Neil, zooming in on Neil's face as all around me are familiar faces plays in the background

- a "foxhole game night" monopoly video featuring ear-piercing screaming, Dan and Allison rolling on the floor in hysteria, a cry-laughing Matt clutching his stomach with one hand while pounding on Neil's back with the other, Neil beaming, Andrew looking almost smug by his side, Renee showering them both with monopoly money, Kevin snatching Aaron's whiskey bottle and downing half of it. You can imagine what happened here

- a video of Neil gingerly sipping on his soda at Eden's with "shots shots shots shots shots shots" playing over it

- a compilation of Renee smiling because it's too pure. Everyone loves it

- a clip of Aaron and Katelyn flirting, all soft and cutesy directly followed by Andrew and Neil cussing each other out

- Dan and Matt cuddling which cuts to Nicky fake gagging at the pure heterosexuality of it all. It's been liked only by Andrew

- Andrew on his tippy toes trying to reach something with the caption "they tried to put me on the cover of vogue, but my legs were too long". It's liked by everyone but Andrew and Aaron

- Andrew and Neil staring each other down, lost in their own world, when suddenly Nicky sneezes. They turn their heads to glare at him at the same time

- Wymack saying "road work ahead" to which the entire bus screams in unison "WELL I SURE HOPE IT DOES"

And finally:

- Andrew reciting The Crush Song to a very confused Neil

"I'm single as I can be-"

Nicky zooms in on them.

"-you're single, perfect for me. I'm gonna give you a bunch of reasons why you should date me."

Neil's face is pure, genuine confusion and worry.

"Reason number one - I'm super hot. Reason number two - she's super not." Andrew is completely expressionless. His voice is monotonous and bored. "Reason number three - I'm all you got, and all you got is someone hot."

A door slams in the distance, most likely Aaron. Andrew doesn't blink.

Nicky is wheezing behind the camera.

Occasionally Kevin tries to butt in but Andrew raises his voice and talks over him.

"First name hot-" "wh-" "aND LAST NAME BITCH. Wanna get with me? Now that's the stitch."

The camera is shaking uncontrollably.

"you think I'm trash?" "andr-" "HELL NO, I'm class, and I got a-" "andre-" "-bIG FAT ASS."

Eventually Kevin gives up.

"Please date me because I'm single. S-I-N-G-L-E, love me. And hug me, and touch me. And, well, fuck me," Andrew recites.

When he gets to the end of the song he immediately leaves to get himself a beer without saying anything else. Neil is left staring off into the distance, possibly having an existential crisis.

Nicky flips the camera, and through sniffles says, "...and that was Andrew Minyard with 'The Crush song' featuring Kevin Day. Have a good night."

It instantly becomes a viral video. People who haven't even heard of exy are sharing it. A bored twink monotonously serenading The Crush Song to a confused twink? Hilarious. Aaron hates them so much

Bonus: when tiktok becomes a thing Nicky is all over it. You can imagine how that goes. The monsters refuse to interact with him in public

On the flipside: once, Nicky managed to convince Kevin that e-boy stands for exy boy so Kevin had "professional e-boy" in his bio for a good week or two

It was a good time

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justmyworld722 · 3 years

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Thoughts on an All for the Game volleyball AU!

I would LOVE to read a volleyball AU of the foxes because I freaking love AftG and volleyball. So here's how I picture what position every fox would play.

(Yes, I'm thinking of Haikyuu while I write this and yes, the team is made up of the boys only because I have yet to meet a professional mixed volleyball team, they're either boys or girls 🤷‍♀️)

So... here we go:

Kevin Day: middle blocker. Even though his attitude screams of Tobio Kageyama, his hight would make him the perfect middle blocker. Also, he'd definitely be the Ace of the team so he'd kind of be like Asahi Azumane in that sense.

Neil Josten: middle blocker. He's short, he's a redhead and he's full of spite and loves the game more than life itself. Yes, he is Shoyo Hinata. In exy he's freakishly fast and a court level striker, in volleyball he'd be freakishly able to jump really high despite his height and of course he'd be an amazing hitter.

Seth Gordon: opposite hitter. Yes, I had to keep Seth alive for this or we wouldn't reach seven male players. Though he's nothing like the captain Daichi Sawamura, I feel like the role of opposite hitter would fit Seth's personality.

Matt Boyd: wing spiker. Now Matt would definitely fit Azumane's personality though he wouldn't be the Ace (that job belongs solely to Kevin ), but he'd be a very realiable hitter and receiver.

Nicky Hemmick: wing spiker. Maybe not the most reliable one but he's a strong hitter and though some of his hits may go wild and out the court lines, when he catches the ball just right, there's no stopping his strong hit.

Aaron Minyard: setter. Now, now, hear me out: I feel like, for height reasons, he wouldn't be a realiable spiker (Neil and his height are the exception because of his jump) and when you're short, sadly, there aren't many positions you could play in professional volleyball. Setters don't necessarily have to be tall (though it is a valuable thing in setters) but what they have to be is smart. They control the game, so to speak, and anyone who's studying to be a doctor has to be smart. Also, I just think it'd be a good fit for him. His attitude is asshol-y enough to be like Kageyama though in my mind Kageyama and Kevin are just inseparable, lol.

Andrew Minyard: LIBERO. I mean, not because he's the shortest player on the team (which of course, he is) but because the libero is meant to have the spikers' back when they hit the ball in case they get blocked and their job is to basically protect their court. Andrew screams protection at the top of his lungs and just imagine Neil making deals with him to actually care about games and make impossible saves and dive for the ball and save it at the last second and when he's really invested in it, he would even shout out commands to everyone else to organize the receiving formation when the other team is about to serve. I can even picture him rolling up the sleeves of his uniform t-shirt to have more range of mobility in his arms and then you'd know he means business.

Coach Ukai was basically how I imagined Wymack in the first place because I saw Haikyuu before reading the books and I spent the whole time picturing Ukai while reading.

Anyway, I'm in love with this idea and it would be my dream come true if anyone were to write an AU like this

#all for the game #haikyuu!!#neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #the foxhole court #volleyball #hinata shoyo #kageyama tobio #andreil #kagehina

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bloody-wonder · 4 years

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Any time I see a post going “fuck Nora for killing Seth” and lamenting that he died before he could get “redemption” I just get so confused. Nora’s the author; she didn’t physically murder a real person, she killed off a character she created, as was her right, whose place in the story was to die, to up the stakes and push them all to work together. Narratively Seth performed his duty. And “redemption”? AftG is not a story about redemption. It’s about living. And it wasn’t Seth’s story anyway

it turns out i’ve written An Essay on seth already so here it is if you’re interested

at first reading i didn’t think much of seth at all. there’s so much exposition and information about the characters and exy that the reader needs to get from the first book in order to understand and enjoy the other two, that i was quite overwhelmed and so the only things i remembered about seth were that he was kinda dick and that he died in retaliation for riko roast #1, which made the foxes work better as a team. then, after reading all the extra info on nora’s blog and re-reading the books i took a better look at him. he is certainly interesting. first of all he’s a symbol for the ‘old foxes’, those boys who were even more problematic than him and who failed to use the chance wymack had given them to make their lives better. unlike them he persisted, but at the same time – he gave up (he tells matt as much in their dialogue about the foxes’ chances to play better and for them to go pro). this aspect of his character is very relatable, for me at least. i mean i love neil and his unshakable will to make the most of any situation as much as the next guy, but i love it exactly because this is the inspirational shit i’m not able to do irl at all (riko roasts are so satisfying precisely because this is the kind of talk we dream we’d be able to give our offenders but most of us just can’t). seth on the other hand is my day-to-day mood.

he’s pretty down to earth and holds no illusions about his possibilities – this i would say is his most basic feature and at the same time it’s his fatal flaw. for if he were able to dare to imagine a prospect of more successful life for himself, if he were able to overcome his fundamental dislike of kevin, he wouldn’t disregard the team’s decision not to live the campus in the wake of riko roast #1 and, who knows, maybe he’d live. andrew saw matt’s addiction problem and chose to help him the hard way because he was positive that matt would survive, that he’d fight because he had it in him to overcome it. he didn’t regard seth in the same way – for many reasons, primarily seth’s being an asshole to andrew’s lot – but also because seth unlike matt had already given up on himself in a sense. we don’t know if he took the drugs that killed him of his own free will or if he was forced to take them, but i think he did it himself.

i find some of his characterization in the extra material very revealing: he was okay with his teammates’ shitty behaviors towards matt and the girls, with them doing drugs, with calling nicky the f-word, but he drew the line at some guys trying to rape allison while she was drunk at a party. most importantly this latter one wasn’t his instinctive action, like any person’s trying to save a fellow human from violence, like neil’s choice to stand up for kevin against riko at kathy’s show – this was a conscious decision (he passed the guys leading allison away, he went on, but then he thought no and went back for her). seth existed in this ethical grey zone, neither here nor there. every character in aftg is morally grey as we’ve established, but seth most of all, i think. if moral integrity was a scale, he’d be right in the middle of it. his inability to move brought his downfall. he’s a symbol for the ‘old foxes’, as i’ve said, and the story is about the ‘new’ ones, so it makes perfect narrative sense that he should die to make this ‘new era’ possible (it’s no coincidence that his death marks the end of the first book, the first act of this story). evolve or perish, so to say.

in this context he’s a tragic hero. he literally says ‘my life isn’t less important than kevin’s because he’s more talented’. this can be also read as ‘my life isn’t less important because i’m a minor antagonist in someone else’s story’. which he kinda is. he’s a secondary character whose death is a plot point, he’s a symbol and he’s the agent of tragic irony – all of which seems fascinating and rich to me. which is why i’m really sad that most of the fandom discourse on seth comes down to two camps: he deserved better vs. he deserved to die because he was homophobic and anyway he isn’t that important to care for him. the latter group also tends to view his death as him being punished by the narrative for being ‘bad’, which is the shallowest reading i can imagine. this is a common plight i see among my peers: people just dividing characters into the good ones and the bad one’s and debating whether those who are ‘bad’ deserve death or not. nobody deserves anything, people just get stuff or they don’t.

as for the former group, i can understand that people emphasize with seth’s struggle and would like a happier ending for him, because that’s humane, but i disagree, because although him living on would certainly dry some readers’ tears, it would impact the story in a bad way, make it less measured, it would remove all the complexity i’ve listed above. to put it simply, not every character who deserves development, redemption and what not has to get it, there’s absolutely no such rule. people who take to flawed characters and then feel robbed of a redemption arc if there isn’t one are missing the point of characters as a category in storytelling.

as for me, i neither know nor care what he did or did not deserve as a human (which he is not, he’s made up), but i think that as a character he couldn’t be crafted better to play his role in this story and his death, i will repeat myself, makes perfect narrative sense.

#seth gordon #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg mine #aftg ask #as you can see i couldn't be concise if my life depended on it #and maaan are redemption arcs overrated #first of all let characters be evil god damn it #but secondly redemption arcs are the product of the good vs bad binary #and therefore are impossible in a truly morally grey story #bcs what instance should they redeem themselves to #who has the right to decide which side is good and which is bad #by what right does a wolf judge a lion #also on a completely unrelated note #i hate how in capri fandom everyone's just like idk auguste lives #as if his death wasn't an inciting incident for the whole fucking story

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kar3npage · 4 years

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Next to You

Neil Josten works as a math professor and lives a comfortable life in a neighborhood that happens to house all of his closest friends. He meets Andrew Minyard, the owner of the quaint bookstore down the street, at a barbeque and makes the mistake of agreeing to go to his book club. Lots of Andrew being an obviously lovesick fool, Neil being oblivious, and their friends loving them unconditionally.

Read it on ao3 here

Neil Josten made his way down the quaint street that he somehow managed to get an apartment in. His wheelchair clicked loudly on the pavement, and he got a few sympathetic looks as he rolled past. He does his best to ignore it, though some days that’s easier said than done.

It’s been years since his father died at the hands of Stuart, and a bit more than a year since the rest of his father’s circle was finally caught and imprisoned. No matter how much time passes though, Nathan Wesninski left a lasting impact. The scars on his arms and face make sure that everyone knows that something horrific happened to the young man with red hair, and the wheelchair ensures that he is noticed in every situation.

“Hey buddy!” Matt is easy to find in the cafe they always meet at. To begin with, they always sit at the same table so that Neil can get there comfortably. Also, he is freakishly tall compared to most people, and the spiked hair adds to his height. “Dan sends her apologies. Emergency at work,” Matt says with a grimace and pushes forward the coffee that he ordered for Neil.

Matt and Neil have been best friends since they met in physical therapy when Matt got an injury while he was playing Exy in university. Neil was the first person Matt introduced Dan to when they started dating, and Neil was the one that Matt ran his business plan through when he first decided that he wanted to start a veterinary clinic. Matt was the one that Neil called when he got lonely in his empty apartment, and Matt was the one who forced Neil to get a cat. Neil couldn’t imagine a life without their weekly coffees or Christmas dinner with the Boyd-Wilds.

Matt is describing in minute detail the reason why Dan was not able to come to coffee today - something about one of the high school students she taught struggling with something and going to her for help. The pride Matt felt for his wife was undeniable, and Neil nodded along and let him ramble.

“Anyway, I almost forgot! Allison is putting together a party on Sunday and you have to come,” Matt says after a few minutes.

Neil gives Matt an unimpressed look. “First of all, what is the party even for? Second of all, you know I don’t like parties.”

“I know, I know, but Kevin’s back in town! Plus you got your PhD, we need to celebrate that!”

“I got my PhD two years ago, you’ve got to stop using that as an excuse to have a party.”

Matt grins unapologetically and stares at Neil until he finally says “Fine. But I’m leaving early.”

Before he knew it, Sunday evening was there and Neil was reluctantly making his way to the Boyd-Wilds house. On his lap was a loaf of sourdough bread that he stress baked that afternoon, and a list of conversation topics that he printed off the internet.

While waiting for someone to answer the doorbell, he stuffed the list of questions in his pocket and inspected the cars on the street. There were more people here than normal. Quite a few more. He could recognize Wymacks beat up old truck and Allison's pink convertible, and he was assuming that the rental car across the street was Kevins. There was also a red SUV that he hasn’t seen before, and a very fancy, very shining black car in the driveway.

Allison opened the door like she owned the place, and threw herself on Neils lap for a hug before he could protest.

“I know you were dawdling, your apartment is, like, a block away.”

“Well I can’t walk very fast,” Neil says to Allison while half-heartedly shoving her away. She flicks his nose.

“You can get everywhere faster than me, stop trying to make me feel bad for you,” she sings, then grabs the loaf of bread out of his hand and walks inside without a backwards glance. “Literally everyone got here before you did. Even the monsters.”

Neil comes in hesitantly. There is a great deal of noise coming out of the kitchen, and Neil can see even more people in the backyard through the hallway.

“So… who all came?” Neil says as he emerges into the tight kitchen where Allison disappeared to. There are a multitude of new faces in the kitchen who turn to face him, and he immediately regrets not coming up with an excuse to stay home. Not like any of them would have believed him, but an attempt could have been made.

“Allison, you didn’t say he was that attractive!” a tall man says from the corner. His arms are wrapped around an even taller blond man who smiles genially at Neil and coming forward to offer a hand.

“I’m Erik, and this is my husband Nicky,” the blond man says in a thick German accent.

Allison beams at Neil. “I told you he was cute. And he looks even better when he wears the clothes that I choose for him,” she says to Nicky, giving Neil a pointed look.

“Nicky’s the one doing Matt’s marketing for him now.” Renee’s calm voice comes from the corner, somewhere behind Nicky and Erik. “And he helped Allison with her branding when she started designing.”

Neil hums so they know he heard, then backs out of the kitchen to go to the back. He thinks that he should probably say something polite while he leaves, but Allison and Renee know how he is, and he feels like he’s getting in the way of all the people actually cooking in the kitchen.

The backyard has even more people in it, but it has more space so he doesn’t feel as claustrophobic.

“Neil!” Matt says from where he’s standing at the barbeque with Wymack, sounding like he had no idea that he was coming. Dan and Abby wave at him from their lawn chairs. Another woman is chatting with them, her arm around a short blond man. Kevin is standing near Wymack talking at another small blond man. Neil catalogs the two, checking for differences without thinking about it.

Now he really regrets being here. There isn’t a single group of people that he can talk to that he knows entirely, and everyone else seems to be so comfortable chatting. He briefly considers using Sir as an excuse, but he knows that Matt would insist on going home with him if he thought that there was something wrong with Sir.

“No ones going to bite,” Allison says from behind him, making him jump. He realizes that he is directly in front of the door.

“I should go,” Neil mumbles as Allison walks past him carrying a bowl of salad to the table near the grill. “Nope! You can’t, it's your PhD party!” Allison sings.

Kevin turns around and notices Neil in the doorway. He looks intense, which is just his version of excited.

Allison's announcement has caught everyone's attention and Neil can feel the weight of their eyes. He accidentally makes eye contact with the man who Kevin was talking with, and he shifts his attention quickly.

“It’s not a PhD party, that happened years ago.”

Dan grins. “You know that we’re going to call everything that so you feel obligated to come, right?”

“We just like having you here, Neil,” Renee says sweetly from beside him. Neil can feel his face heating up. “Have you met everyone yet?”

At the shake of his head, Renee introduces the new ones in the backyard. “Andrew is the one with Kevin, he owns the bookshop down the street from the cafe, and then over there is his twin Aaron, and Aaron's wife Katelyn. They work at the hospital together as surgeons.”

“The bookstore you go to all the time?” Neil asks. Andrew is wearing all black despite the summer heat, and his gaze is blank as he watches Kevin get worked up over whatever he’s talking about. Most likely Exy, since he’s been making an Exy podcast since he stopped playing in university.

Renee hums a confirmation. “Andrew and I have tea and cake at the bakery every Saturday. I supply treats to the book club he hosts,” Renee says with a smile. Her bakery is famous around the neighborhood for having the prettiest and most luxurious treats in the city. The woman who helps her run it, Betsy, makes Neil just as uncomfortable as Renee does. That combined with his dislike for sweets means that he very rarely ends up in the shop.

“He hosts a book club?” Neil says, staring hard at Andrew. He doesn’t know why his brain has latched onto the man like this, but he can’t help but be fascinated with how contradictory he seems to be. A man with bigger biceps than Matt who likes Renee's cake (and company) and runs a book club.

Renee smiles, a hint of mischief in her eyes. “Oh yes, you should join us sometime. We’re reading Emma at the moment, in honour of the movie coming out.”

Neil narrows his eyes at Renee, but she doesn’t seem to be joking. He’s saved from the need to answer by Erik and Nicky coming out with more food and Wymack announcing that the burgers are done.

Andrews eyes keep sliding over to the redhead with a deer-in-headlights look as he completely blocks the door. Kevin has not shut up about Andrews' missed chance at going pro, and Andrew started blocking him out ages ago. Nearly as soon as Kevin started talking, actually.

Renee winks at him when she notices where his gaze is fixed and he glares at her. Her smile just grows as she finds a lawn chair near Allison. Wymack interrupts the staring contest by putting out the burgers and Andrew bullies his way into line at the table by the grill to fill his plate. Kevin has moved to the back of the line to talk to the redhead, who takes the attack surprisingly well. He makes eye contact with Andrew and gives him a ‘what can you do’ kind of shrug and smile while he nods along to Kevins rant. Andrew pretends he was never looking at them and loads his plate up with bread and potato salad.

“I invited Neil to book club, I hope you don’t mind,” Renee says to Andrew when he sits down in the empty chair beside her.

Allison leans forward to point her fork at Andrew. “I hope you know that I saw you ogling him.”

Andrew glares at her and Renee kicks her foot gently. “I think you and Neil would get along well,” Renee says.

“Who said I wanted to get to know him,” Andrew says while staring at a smirking Neil arguing with Kevin. Kevin’s face has gone an alarming shade of red and Wymack is watching them with a faintly fond expression on his face.

Allison snorts and turns to Katelyn to chat. Renee wisely changes the subject to her thoughts so far on Emma.

Opening the bookstore first thing in the morning is one of Andrews less hated chores. He likes the way the store smells, and the awed silence that it has before customers come in. Robin, his only employee, always takes the evening shift, so he has the whole morning to himself. He starts by setting up a new display in the front window, losing himself to the satisfying feeling of creating something.

The mornings are usually pretty quiet, since the neighborhood has a habit of waking up late whenever possible. The only other shop open is Renee’s bakery down the street, and Boyd’s vet clinic, which he walked past on his way from his place.

Bee drops by at lunch like she often does, with a mocha and a croissant. Bee is Renee’s business partner in the bakery, and responsible for the pastries. The two of them adopted Andrew into their social circle as soon as he became a regular at the bakery when he first opened the bookstore.

“Renee mentioned that we might have a new member of book club this month,” Bee says as she admires the new display. Andrew does not miss the sparkle in her eye, or the pleased smile that she tries to hide by taking another sip of her hot chocolate.

Andrew doesn’t answer.

“It will be nice to hear new opinions,” Bee muses. He can tell that she’s fishing for a reaction, so he places all of his attention on stacking the newly arrived copies of The Glass Hotel. When he turns around, Bee is watching his carefully.

“You know,” she says slowly, “it’s always a good thing to add to your social circle. Neil sounds nice. Matt always has good things to say about him.”

Andrew gives her a dirty look, which she easily ignores. “And he sounds like someone you would get along with. Allison told me that he has his PhD in some sort of math. And he has a cat.”

Andrew snorts. “So having a cat is supposed to make me overlook the fact that he’s interested in math.”

Bee laughs and gives Andrew a knowing look.

A week later, and Neil is starting to get restless at home. He appreciates that the university allows him to teach online classes, but sometimes too much time with only Sir as company makes Neil think weird thoughts. He decides to get a sandwich from the cafe, after dismissing the thought of bothering Matt at work. He knows that he could always call Allison, since she is the boss and can do whatever she wants (or so she says), but he’s in a melancholy mood and he knows that she would force him out of it. For some reason, he wants to just wallow for a minute.

The day is crisper than Neil thought that it would be, but it’s a good kick to his system. He peaks in the window of the clinic when he goes past, and he’s suddenly glad that he didn’t text Matt earlier. It would just make him worry, and it looks like he’ll be busy today.

At times like these, Neil can’t help but feel just a little bit like a chore for his friends. He can always hear the busyness behind Allison when he calls her during the day, and he knows that Matt drops nearly everything to make sure he’s okay. He could always call Wymack, but Wymack is busy trying to save every kid that he comes across at the clubs he runs. Abby is constantly telling him that he’s no bother, but she is also busy at her work as a physical therapist.

The melancholy back as strong as ever, Neil makes his way listlessly down the street. It’s a quiet day today, and all he has to do when he gets home is mark some tests, so he takes his time eating his sad looking sandwich.

It seemed like fate that the bookstore was directly across the street from the cafe. How had Neil never payed attention to that before now?

It’s as quaint as the rest of the stores on the street, but with a darker colour palette than the rest. The window boasts various beautiful copies of Jane Austen books with a poster with information about the book club. The clean design of the poster reminds him of Allisons, and he wonders if Nicky does the marketing for Andrew too.

Neil sits in the cafe for 45 minutes before working up with courage to check out the bookstore.

A small bell rings as he struggles over the cracked concrete at the entrance to get into the store. By the time he actually looks around, Andrew’s flat gaze is heavy on him. He can feel a flush rise up the back of his neck.

Neil clears his throat a few times and tries to pretend that he’s not fazed by the staring. “Renee mentioned that you had a book club?” he says, because he can’t think of anything else to say.

Andrew keeps staring at him. “I think she said the book was Emma, but she didn’t say what day it was.”

“Next Tuesday.”

“Oh.”

Andrew raises an eyebrow. “You’ve got something else to do that day?”

“No, I just won’t be able to read the book by then,” Neil says, and to his horror, he feels the flush move onto his cheeks. He looks at a random book in an attempt to hide it.

When he looks back at Andrew, he’s relaxed back into the chair behind the counter. “Most members don’t read the whole thing before the club gets together. Some of them haven’t even started it, they just come for the conversation.”

“Really?” Neil says. The shame at not being a fast reader is starting to fade. He can’t imagine Andrew lying just to make someone feel better, and he has a strange trust for the near stranger.

Andrew tosses a small paperback book to Neil, and Neil fumbles to catch it. It’s the edition of Emma with the movie cover. Andrew waves away Neils offer to pay when he gets to the counter.

“Book club discount,” Andrew says while fidgeting with his sleeves.

“That’s not a great business practice, giving away books for that many people every month.”

Andrew just shrugs.

Neil’s at home and has read the first chapter of the book before he remembers that he was sad.

“Was that Neil that I just saw leaving the bookstore?” Nicky asked far too enthusiastically as he came barreling into the store not two minutes after Andrews bizarre interaction with Neil finished.

“Nope,” Andrew says and puts his book in front of his face to block out Nicky.

“I love Neil! Is he going to hang out with us now?”

“Why would him coming to the store mean that he was going to hang out with us?”

“So it was him! Ha!”

Andrew rolled his eyes and turned the page despite not having read a single word on that page. When Nicky is silent for a few seconds, he puts the book down to look into his thrilled cousins face.

“I think it would be nice if he joined us for family dinner next month,” Nicky says brightly when he notices that he’s caught Andrews attention again.

“Why would he be invited to family dinner,” Andrew says flatly. He spends a moment putting all of his energy into ignoring the daydream of Neil being a part of the family. Andrew feels like a creep, having this weird little fascination with someone who he barely knows.

“Allison said that he doesn’t have any family. Isn’t that sad?” A hint of true sadness pokes through Nicky’s facade and Andrew is abruptly reminded that Nicky’s family is just him, Aaron, and Erik now. “Plus, he’s funny! Did you hear him sass Kevin at the barbeque? Even Aaron laughed!”

“Aaron didn’t laugh, he was coughing. But fine, I’ll invite him,” Andrew says with absolutely no plan to invite Neil.

“No, I don’t trust you to invite him. I will,” Nicky says firmly.

Andrew doesn’t sleep that night. After knowing that Neil will be at book club, and then at family dinner next month (now that Nicky has taken that into his own hands, Neil won’t have a choice but to come), Andrew is starting to feel the stress that usually only pops up after a particularly bad nightmare.

After much introspection, he realizes that it’s not seeing Neil that's causing the stress, but the way that everyone has been watching their interactions.

As soon as 4am hits, Andrew gets up and walks to the bakery. Sure enough, the light is on in the back and Bee’s yellow Mini Cooper is parked in the employee lot. Andrew knocks on the back door and tries not to make eye contact with Bee, who is wearing a knowing, empathetic look on her face.

Andrew settles at the table in the back and watches Bee work. The silence is soothing, and his muscles relax for the first time all night. After a while, she brings over some hot chocolate and sits down across from him.

“If you want me to get the others to lay off of you about Neil, Renee and I will tell them to stop,” Bee says gently.

“That’s not the problem,” Andrew says, his voice gravelly from disuse. They look at each other for a long moment, both waiting for Andrew to figure out what he means to say.

“Neil doesn’t know, and I feel dirty,” Andrew finally says dully.

Bee hums and takes a sip of her hot chocolate. “Do you want to tell him?”

Andrew snorts. “I barely know him.”

“Well, I don’t think that you should feel dirty. And I’m sure he’s been teased by Allison by now, so you don’t have to worry about him not knowing what the others are saying.”

Andrew lets her words sink in, then nods. “Okay,” he says. “Okay.”

Bee smiles, and brings over a hot chocolate croissant after taking the batch from the oven.

“I don’t think that’s very good business practice,” Andrew tells her, as he takes a burning bite.

He doesn’t feel so conflicted when he opens the bookstore, and it ends up being a better day than he thought that it would be.

Neil is enjoying the book more than he thought he would, but he has had much less time to work on it than he planned. After spending most of his days marking, and helping a student over video conference, he was exhausted. And worried.

He could picture himself making a fool of himself at book club, and all of them realizing that he’s not nearly as smart as they all make him out to be.

“I’m sure it’s going to go great! Renee and Bee both love it, and Abby goes! Erik goes when he can, too,” Matt assures him over the phone while Neil tries to come up with an excuse just in case someone confronts him for not going.

“I’ve only read a few pages,” Neil says slowly.

“That's a few pages more than me! Plus, we both know you have a lot of thoughts about it,” Matt says with a grin in his voice. Neil wishes he hadn’t told Matt about the characters over coffee the other day.

Sir is purring delightedly on Neils chest. “I can’t go, Sir is on my lap,” he tries again.

Matt pauses, but Neil hears Dan in the background. “No! That’s not an excuse! Sir cuddles you all the time.”

Matt sighs into the phone. “She’s right, buddy. I think you’ll have fun. And they have free coffee and stuff. That’s always fun.”

20 minutes later, Neil is miserably locking his apartment door and officially on his way to book club.

The atmosphere is surprisingly warm and cozy in the book shop at 7pm. There’s soft music playing, and people are chatting in little groups. There are only a few people that Neil doesn’t recognize, and the circle of chairs taking up most of the floor looks comfortable. For some reason Neil was expecting this to feel more like a test.

Abby beams when she sees him hovering by the door and waves him over. Neil recognizes the woman she’s talking to as Katelyn.

“We were wondering if you would come,” Abby says warmly, knowing his history of wiggling his way out of social situations.

Katelyn smiles at him and sits on the closest chair so he doesn’t have to look up at her. Neil feels a bit grateful at that, and even more so when she offers him a cheese scone and a cup of coffee from the center table.

Katelyn launches into a story about a patient, and Erik works his way to their group.

“Neil,” he says quietly as a greeting, and Neil gives him a shy smile. “Nicky was wondering if you wanted to come to dinner in a few weeks. He’s promising to make enchiladas.”

Neil swears that his brain short circuits for a moment. “You want me over… for dinner?”

“Here, I’ll get your number and Nicky can text you the time and place,” Erik says, ignoring his shock.

Andrew comes out from the backroom with more coffee, and that seems to be a symbol of some kind for everyone to take their places.

“Okay, what did you think?” Andrew says bluntly, and that’s it. Everyone has opinions, some of them silly and some serious. Half of the group hasn’t finished the book, and Katelyn admits to not even starting it.

Andrew is having a light argument with Bee about whether Emma is a likeable main character with others popping in their two cents when Neil first says something.

“I thought she was kind of fun,” Neil mumbled. When he looks up, Andrew has an unreadable expression on his face.

“See, Bee? She’s fun,” he says in a monotone. Neil has to fight the smile threatening to show.

The meeting is chaotic and warm, and Neil learns a great deal about the people in the room. He learns that Erik is a huge fan of the worst Austen movies, and that Katelyn barely reads but always shows up to book club. He also learns that Andrew is incredibly passionate about the books, but that doesn’t surprise him as much as it probably should.

The only awkward moment is at the end when everyone starts to help put their chairs back in place. When Neil offers to help, the room goes quiet.

“Take this,” Andrew says gruffly and shoves the tray of mostly finished treats at him. Andrew takes the coffee cups and walks to the back, so Neil follows him.

The back room is nearly as cozy as the front of the shop, and a girl that Neil didn’t even know was there is grabbing her bag to leave. Her name tag says ‘Robin’, and Andrew says bye to her almost fondly.

Neil puts the tray on the table in the middle of the room and watches Andrew move efficiently through the cramped space. He has a million questions to ask Andrew, but he’s not sure how to, so he contents himself with analyzing the room.

“You have a question,” Andrew says without turning around.

“I have lots of questions,” Neil says.

Andrew finally turns around and leans on the counter. “I’ll answer if you let me ask you something.”

Neil winces. “If it’s about the scars, you don’t need to bribe me to answer them.”

“It was something else, actually.”

Neil fidgets with the wheels for a moment. “Fine, I’ll answer your questions if you answer mine.”

Andrew tosses his phone to Neil, and Neil feels a little thrill as he enters his number in. He texts himself so he can program the number into his phone. Matt’s going to be so proud to hear that he got two numbers today.

Andrew doesn’t say anything when he gets his phone back, just puts a tupperware container on the table so that Neil can pack up the leftover treats.

Before Neil leaves, Andrew says “Next months book is Atonement.”

Neil wakes up to four text messages. One is from Matt asking how the night went, one is from Erik warning him that he gave Nicky his number, one is emoji filled from Nicky, and the last one is from Andrew. It just says ‘You go first’.

Neil spends his whole morning messing up his marking because he’s thinking too hard about what his first question will be for Andrew. He gives up trying to work when Sir knocks over his coffee and nearly breaks his laptop.

Neil: What made you want to own a bookstore?

Andrews reply comes faster than Neil was expecting. He feels a little thrill when he hears the ping of his phone.

Andrew: Everything you could ask me, and that was your question?

Neil: You never said that there were topics that weren’t allowed.

Andrew: ...exactly

Neil startles when his phone starts ringing on the sofa beside him. Sir gives him a wide eyed look until he picks it up.

“I thought you were at work,” he says to Andrew.

“I would say the same thing about you, but I’m starting to doubt whether you actually have a job.”

“I do have a job,” Neil says smugly. “I’m a university professor. I teach online classes. And you’re avoiding my question.”

“There aren’t any customers in here, smartass,” Andrew says not unkindly. Neil smothers a smile. “So do you still persist in asking me why I wanted to own a bookstore?”

“Yep.”

“I didn’t want to do anything,” Andrew says.

Neil stays quiet and waits for him to give him the rest of the answer.

“I like reading, and I don’t like libraries.”

“Okay,” Neil says. He feels strangely content on the phone. Normally he sucks on the phone, and forgets to answer. “Your turn.”

Andrew is quiet for a moment. “Why did you come to book club?”

“Matt told me I needed more friends, and he wouldn’t let me use Sir as an excuse not to go,” Neil says honestly. He’s found that ever since he became a real boy all those years ago, he has a hard time lying. It always leaves him feeling gross and wrong.

Andrew huffs on the other end of the phone. “You seem to have lots of friends.”

“That’s what I said. The argument wasn’t accepted.”

Sir meows at Neil until he arranges himself so she can sit on his lap.

“Is that your cat?” Andrew says, breaking a comfortable silence.

“You already asked your question,” Neil teases, tangling his hand in Sir’s fur. She starts her wheezing, loud purr and he can hear Andrew huff again.

“Tell your broken cat that she won’t make me look over your interest in math,” Andrew says.

“What?” Neil laughs. “Who told you I taught math?”

“You’ve caught everyone's attention. I can’t walk down the street without hearing a new fact about you,” Andrew says dryly. “Anyway, math is awful and a terrible subject to choose to study.”

“Math is interesting! It’s the only universal language!” Neil says, not nearly as upset about Andrews accusation as he normally would be. He’s halfway through a tangent on the wonders of math before he catches himself.

“Sorry,” Neil says sheepishly. “You’re probably not interested.”

“More than you would think,” Andrew says, sounding perturbed. “There’s a customer.”

Neil is surprised by the amount of disappointment he feels when the call stops.

It becomes a habit during the slow times in the day. Andrew calls Neil when he’s bored and finished putting away any new merchandise, or Neil will call Andrew when he’s tired of trying to understand his students confused writing. So far, Neil has learnt that Andrew was in juvie as a teen, and grew up in the foster care system. He learns that Nicky is their cousin and that he took surprisingly good care of Andrew and Aaron when they were angsty teens, and he learns that Andrew has always struggled with touch. He learns lighter things too, like how Andrews favourite movie is Baby Driver (but he will never admit that to anyone else because he has a reputation to uphold), and his favourite colour is blue.

Neil returns the favour but giving away as much information as he’s getting. During their eighth phone call he has a panic attack when he tells Andrew about his father, and how he came to be in a wheelchair. Andrew talks him through it calmly, and doesn’t give him any weird looks when he visits the bookstore two days later.

The month runs by much faster than Neil is used to, and he hasn’t called Matt in a lonely depression a single time. He feels oddly proud of himself for it.

When Nicky texts to remind him of the dinner that him and Erik are hosting, Neil is almost looking forward to it. He has heard from Nicky almost as much as Matt, and the texts have been just as enthusiastic.

He spends the afternoon before baking bread while he chats with Andrew. Andrew had practically forced him into accepting a ride in his ridiculous, fancy car, and has spent the entire afternoon giving him various warnings about Nicky and Aaron.

“Nicky will hug you,” Andrew says with a voice that sounds like he’s informing Neil of a death. “More than once. Erik’s not bad, but Nicky’s a hugger.”

Neil laughs while he kneads the bread. “It’s okay, Allison sits on my lap every time she sees me. People keep thinking we’re dating.”

Andrew hums in acknowledgement and continues with his warnings. “Aaron is judgy.”

“And you aren’t?” Neil says, thinking back to all of the customers that Andrew has thoroughly made fun of.

“He’s a different brand of judgy. Katelyn keeps it down for the most part, but he’s very rude,” Andrew says, like he doesn’t have any similar traits.

“How often do you all have dinner together?”

“A few times a year. Nicky insists on our family dinners.”

Neil pauses. “It’s a family dinner?”

The line goes quiet.

“Andrew? I can’t crash a family dinner,” Neil is starting to feel the root of panic in his chest.

“You wouldn’t be crashing it. Nicky and Erik invited you.”

“But he didn’t say it was for family,” Neil says nervously. Sir meows at him and jumps in his lap. He attempts to shove her off with his elbows so he doesn’t get flour on her.

“Neil,” Andrew says calmly. “I’m coming to get you in three hours. Sir is not an excuse to not come.”

“Fine.”

As promised, Andrew shows up at Neils door three hours later. His mouth goes dry when Neil opens the door. Neil has never put much effort into his appearance, so Andrew is definitely not ready for the button up shirt and styled hair. Neil's apartment smells like freshly baked bread, and the cat that he hears on the phone all the time is sitting comfortably on Neils lap, unconcerned with the fact that Neil is moving around the apartment and fidgeting while she does so.

The apartment is spare, with lots of space between furniture for Neil to move around. The kitchen counters a lower as well, and Neil navigates the room efficiently and quickly. He pushes off Sir with some reluctance, then grabs a loaf of bread and shoves it into Andrews hands so he can put on his jacket.

“You look nice,” Neil says nervously.

Andrew can feel his ears heat up. “You do too,” he says, though it comes out flat and uncaring. Neil beams anyway and leads the way out.

“You don’t have to be nervous,” Andrew finally says when they are both in the car and on their way. “Nicky would die for you.”

“Nicky barely knows me,” Neil says, looking baffled.

“It only takes him a few minutes to latch on to people. Look at me and Aaron. One glance and now he won’t let go.”

Neil smiles gently at him and goes back to fidgeting with his cuffs.

Andrew had never payed attention to the accessibility of places until he met Neil. He is extremely aware of how cracked and uneven the pavement is in front of Nicky’s, and all he can think about is how cramped the living room is.

Neil is looking at the pavement with trepidation. “Would you be able to help me, maybe…” Neil says quietly.

“Yes.”

Neil nods and pops open his wheelchair, moving into it with practiced ease. Andrew waits for him to get comfortable before standing behind him give the chair a push.

They make it safely to the front door, and as Nicky welcomes them in, Andrew notices that the furniture in the living room has been moved so there is more space. Erik notices him looking and smiles, offering a hand to Neil as they come inside.

Aaron and Katelyn are already there, sitting in the dining room. Katelyn greets Neil just like she had a book club and starts a conversation with him about their next book. He can see the relief written all over Neils expression.

When Andrew looks over at Aaron, he’s watching him and Neil with an inscrutable expression. Andrew offers the bread to Nicky, not bothering to say it was from Neil. They all know that Andrew has very little patience in the kitchen.

Dinner goes better than Andrew had hoped. No one questions Neil's place there, and he seems to have a good time talking to Erik in German. Andrew interjects every once in a while, and Nicky looks like he’s going to cry when Erik lights up when he realizes that Neil speaks his language fluently.

It’s not until dessert that Aaron opens his mouth to Neil.

“So what makes you so special?” Aaron says, fixing Neil a suspicious look.

Neil blinks, and pushes his plate of dessert to Andrew to finish.

“Umm…”

Katelyn elbows Aaron and gives him a significant look, and Nicky just looks tired.

“Normally only family gets invited to family dinner. And Andrew won’t even take the time out of his day to phone his own twin, so it’s kind of funny that you made your way in so easily.”

Neils expression shutters and Andrew pushes away the dessert.

“I’m sorry,” Neil says in his professional voice. “If I would have known that this was just for family, I would not have intruded.”

“Aaron, Erik and I invited him,” Nicky says with a look that Andrew hasn’t seen since they were teens and Erik was still in Germany.

“Neil, the bread you made was incredible. Do you bake often?” Katelyn says sweetly. Aaron catches her eye and they have a bit of a silent conversation while Neil stares at his plate.

“I just think it’s unusual that everyone loved him so quickly, that’s all,” Aaron says. The room, except Neil, seems to collectively understand what's happening at the same time. Aaron is upset that they took Neil in so quickly when he had to fight for Katelyn, and when Nicky had to fight for Erik.

“I think we’re done here,” Andrew says when he realizes that Neil isn’t going to say anything else. Neil knows the rocky history between Aaron and Andrew, and he didn’t seem to get in between the two of them.

“Would you like to take home some of the pudding, Andrew?” Erik says sadly. Nicky looks like he’s valiantly fighting off tears, and Katelyn's face is nearly as stoney as Neils.

“No, we’re going to go,” Andrew says, and Neil follows him out of the house. Andrew waits at the door so he can help him over the pavement, and no one says a word until they are both settled in the car.

“I told you I shouldn’t have come to a family dinner,” Neil says quietly. Not in a blaming way, just sadly.

“That’s bullshit,” Andrew says. His hands are gripping the steering wheel with more force than completely necessary.

“It’s okay Andrew. I didn’t want to cause a fight.”

“You didn’t cause one.” Andrew stops at a stop sign and turns to look at Neil. “You didn’t cause one, it was already there.”

He waits for Neil to nod before he goes again. The rest of the trip is quiet.

The excitement doesn’t catch up with Andrew until a few days later. He thought that he was dealing fine with Aaron until he woke up and couldn’t get the energy to get out of bed.

It would be easy to be mad at himself. He has a habit of doing that. Bee and Renee always tell him that healing is just like that, two steps forward and one step back, but it’s easy to forget how devastating it is when the step back comes.

He closes his eyes for a few minutes and it’s already 9:30.

The minutes drag by slowly and too fast all at the same time. He’s too hot but there isn’t any energy to push off the blankets or open a window. He stares blankly at the ceiling and fights desperately for the memories not to overwhelm.

He isn’t sure what time it is when his phone rings. He lets it go, but it starts ringing again after.

He finally reaches over to answer, not saying anything once the call connects.

“Andrew?” Neil’s tentative voice says through the speakers. “I’m at the store and it’s still closed. I was worried.”

Andrew can hear the concern. He sighs and closes his eyes again.

“Do you want me to hang up?”

“No.” Andrews voice is gravelly.

“Okay,” Andrew can hear Neil's wheels against the pavement. “Do you want me to come over? You can say no.”

Andrew barely has to think it over. He doesn’t want Neil to see him like this, but he can’t get out of bed and he needs someone to open the window for him. He gives Neil his address and holds the phone to his ear while he waits. Neil doesn’t hang up.

When Neil gets there, he tells him where the spare key is, and the front door clicks open not long after.

“Andrew?” Neil's voice echoes through the quiet house.

“Hey,” Neil says when he gets to Andrews bedroom door. He doesn’t come inside, just talks from the hallway. “Have you eaten anything yet?”

Andrew turns to look blearily at him, and Neil leaves to look around in the kitchen. He comes back some time later with toast and a glass of water, and waits for permission to come into the room. He sits beside Andrews bed and starts reading Atonement out loud while Andrew eats, stopping every once in a while to make sure he stays hydrated.

Andrew doesn’t know how long they sit like that before his brain stop cycling and he’s able to look at the room clearly.

“You can stop,” Andrew says when he realizes that Neil’s voice is starting to go from talking so much. “Here,” he says, handing Neil a blanket from his bed. The room is getting cold with the window open, but he doesn’t want it closed yet.

Neil leaves much later, once it’s already dark outside, and Andrew manages to get some real sleep that night.

“Seriously buddy, I can’t believe you didn’t just chew him out,” Matt is still going on over the phone about the failed dinner party from a week ago. Neil is updating one of his courses while Matt rants. “What a dick move. Although, now that I think about it…”

After the silence goes on for longer than necessary, Neil says “Go on.”

“It’s notoriously difficult to get an invite to a Minyard family dinner.”

“You’re acting like it’s the Met Gala.”

“Hey, you remember what the Met Gala is! And I’m serious. It took Katelyn, like, two years of dating Aaron before she was allowed to go. Andrew refuses to have extra people there.”

“I know, that’s why Aaron was mad. And stop talking about Andrew like he’s not being reasonable.”

Matt is quiet for a bit. “I just think that Andrew should have been more open minded to Katelyn, and I wish that Aaron hadn’t been rude to you.” “You don’t know the whole story.”

“I know,” Matt sighs. “Out of everyone in the whole world, why did you choose Andrew Minyard?” The question doesn’t sound judging, just genuinely curious.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve never looked twice at anyone else. What is it about Andrew that caught your attention?”

“Andrew and I aren’t dating,” Neil says for the millionth time. Although, the more he thinks about it, the more Neil decides that maybe he would like that.

The usual suspects are at book club that Tuesday, all clutching their versions of Atonement. Some are filled with post-it notes and written all over, and others are in impeccable condition. Neil’s is somewhere in between. He didn’t manage to finish this one yet either, but he was pretty proud of himself for getting almost three quarters of the way through.

Erik and Katelyn come over to talk to him before anyone else. Neil can tell that it’s an apology of sorts, but he’s just glad that they don’t mention anything outright. He would rather pretend that nothing happened.

He waves at Andrew when he comes in, and Andrew gives him his coffee before putting the rest of the mugs down on the table. Katelyn winks at him for some reason at that.

The conversation is more somber for this book, but Neil enjoys it just as much, and he has much more to say now that he’s more comfortable with everyone. He also notices that there are more savoury options on the sweats tray.

Neil stays back to help clean the dishes in the back, and then stays after they’re all done. Bee smiles at Andrew before she leaves, and Erik promises to organize a movie night or something with them all, and then the shop is empty except for Neil and Andrew.

“I have a question,” Neil says before he can lose his nerve.

Andrew nods once and watches him intensely, like he always does.

“Are you… Would you-,” Neil tries to line up his thoughts into a sentence that doesn’t sound weird or embarrassing.

Andrew doesn’t say anything, just watches him fluster his way through his words.

“I would like to kiss you,” Neil finally says.

“That’s not a question,” Andrew says, and for the first time in months, Neil can’t quite read his expression.

“The question was implied,” Neil says nervously.

“If this is some sort of sexuality crisis, I don’t want to be your experiment.”

“This isn’t a sexuality crisis. I’ve never been interested in anyone like I am in you.”

Neil’s pretty sure that the shop has never been this silent before. “I’ll leave,” Neil finally says. He can feel a rock in his throat that makes him want to be in bed with Sir’s comforting warmth on his chest. He tries to not think of the fact that Andrew probably won’t call him tomorrow like he usually does.

“Don’t be stupid,” Andrew says before Neil can get to the door. He raises an eyebrow after Neil turns around. “I didn’t say no.”

“You didn’t say yes either.” Andrew's face does something complicated. “Yes.”

Neil goes to Andrew, where he’s still sitting in the one armchair that he always chooses for book club.

“Yes?” Neil says when he’s right beside Andrew.

Andrew’s eyes are dark when he says, “yes.”

Andrew kisses as passionately as he argues about books, and Neils mind stops for a blissful moment. He can feel every inch of Andrews hand pulling him in by the back of his neck, feel the heat of Andrews body being so close.

He feels dazed when Andrew pulls away, and is pleased to see that Andrew looks nearly as ruffled as Neil feels.

“Would you like to go on a date?” Neil says.

“I thought you already asked your question,” Andrew says, eyes dancing with mirth.

“Technically the first one wasn’t actually a question.”

Andrew's mouth quirks up on one side.

Their date turns out to be a nice dinner at a park that Neil later admits was suggested by Allison. Andrew doesn’t mind, because he’s pretty sure that it would have been at the cafe if it was just up to Neil.

Andrew wishes everything was as easy as it was to start seeing Neil. Neil was practically incapable of keeping his emotions in around Andrew, and his bluntness made sure that miscommunication was avoided.

Aaron was a different story. All that Andrew wanted to do was ignore everyone else and let them figure out that Neil and Andrew were… something. Dating, he supposed. Unfortunately, Bee nearly forced him to talk it out with Aaron.

So here he is, holding his phone on a Saturday morning, waiting for his brother to pick it up.

He sighs when Aaron picks up, and is briefly tempted to just hang up and continue their relationship as it’s been for the past few years.

“Andrew?” Aaron says groggily. He sounds worried.

“Aaron.”

“Are you… dying or something?”

Andrew sighs again. “No. I wanted to talk.”

There’s a stunned silence, and then the sound of Aaron getting up and moving around.

“Okay,” he says hesitantly. “That’s… nice. Good. How is the store?”

“Good.”

“Okay.”

Andrew resists the urge to sigh again. “How is your job.”

“The hospital has been good. Busy, like always, but it’s been really good. Katelyn is working today, actually, so it’s just me home right now.”

The silence stretches like an elastic. Andrew wishes that he was talking to Neil, then blinks in surprise at his thoughts. He didn’t realize how much he actually enjoyed just talking to Neil.

“Is there something that you wanted to talk about in particular?” Aaron asks.

“I,” Andrew starts. It’s more difficult to get the words out than he thought it would be, but he squares his shoulders. “I am sorry that I didn’t like Katelyn. And Neil and I are together.”

“Oh. I mean, I knew you guys were dating.”

“No, you didn’t,” Andrew says, not bothering to explain that they didn’t start until recently. Aaron just huffs.

“Well, thank you,” Aaron says. “And… I’m sorry. About what I said to Josten.”

Andrew nods once, even though he knows that Aaron can’t see him.

“Erik invited us to that movie night. Are you going to come?��

“Yes,” Andrew says, already exhausted by this conversation.

“Okay. Well, see you then.”

“Yep,” Andrew says, then waits for Aaron to hang up.

Neil is stuck in that moment between sleep and waking, the feverish version of everyday life. He can see the soft grey of his bedroom wall, and the brick of the basement in Baltimore at the same time. Hear the whir of the ceiling fan and the giggles of Lola, smell the citrusy scent of his cleaning supplies and the metallic tang of blood.His legs ache in both realities.

As his mind clears, he realizes that the pain in his legs is likely what brought the past back so clearly. He stares hard at the white ceiling in an attempt to stop the thoughts spinning around his mind.

Tonight is movie night, he remembers.

It’s raining outside, the first rain for most of the summer and probably the reason for the constant discomfort in his tendons. He was hoping that he was past this, even though Abby was always warning him that there would always be times that this would happen. Long term pain couldn’t be avoided with that much damage, he would just have to have plans in place for when it hit.

Neil spends most of the morning trying very hard not to move, and not to think about his legs. It’s harder to distract himself when he doesn’t have anything to entertain himself. Sir seems thrilled with their extended lie-in, and he contents himself with watching her little belly move while she breathes.

The abrupt ringing of his phone startles him, sending sharp pains down to his feet. It takes eons for Neil to move enough that he can reach the phone. It’s already gone to voicemail by the time he’s caught his breath enough to look at who called. He calls Andrew back immediately.

“Nicky wants us to come by at 4 so we can have dinner and talk first,” Andrew says with vague disgust in his voice. It’s almost enough to make Neil smile. Unfortunately, he feels to guilty about the fact that he isn’t sure whether he’ll even make it to Nicky’s tonight.

“Hi,” he says to Andrew. “That’s usually how people start their conversations. With a greeting.”

Andrew snorts quietly. “Because you always follow societal conventions.”

Neils stifles a groan as he tries to sit up. He gives up in an awkward, half slumped position.

“Neil?” Andrew’s tone has changed and Neil realizes that Andrew had said something.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” he says, strain evident in his voice.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.” Neil can hear how pathetic it sounds, and desperately hopes that Andrew doesn’t. He doesn’t want Andrew to see how high maintenance he is when they’ve only been dating for a little bit.

“Where are you?” Andrew sounds concerned, and Neils gut clenches a bit.

“I’m at home, I’m fine.” “I’m coming over.”

“No, you don’t need to. You’ll see me tonight, anyway.”

Neil can hear a murmured conversation, muffled by a hand. “Robins taking the desk, and I’m coming over.”

“Wait, Robin is there? What time is it?” Neil can feel the first sparks of anxiety.

“It’s almost 2,” Andrew says, panting slightly as he walks.

Neil thinks of all the things he was supposed to do today. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to come to movie night,” Neil says, trying to quash the panicked note in his voice. “I have a lot to do today, I was supposed to have an online meeting at 10 and I totally forgot. And I need to record a few audio recordings to go with the notes for the last unit. And-”

“Neil,” Andrew waits until Neil stops rambling. “I’m at your door and I’m coming in, okay?”

Neil makes a noise of assent and clutches the phone to his ear until he hears Andrew walk in.

Andrews silhouette fills the doorway to Neils bedroom seconds later, and he becomes overly aware of how he looks, sagging on the bed with blankets strewn around him. Sir sits up sleepily and blinks at the intruder, then starts to have a very noisy bath. Neil gives Andrew a guilty look.

“What's wrong?” Andrew says, and his voice is so gentle that Neil has to blink away tears.

“I just slept in, thats all,” Neil says, like his bedroom doesn’t look like a murder scene. He thinks of the wheelchair, walker and other equipment sitting around his room. He’s trying to remember whether he put away all of the physical therapy equipment when Andrew sits down slowly on the edge of his bed.

“Are you sick?”

Neil sighs. “No, it’s the rain.”

A small wrinkle forms in between Andrews brows.

“My legs. The change in weather makes them hurt sometimes. Which is stupid, because the weather is always changing around here.” Neil tries to smile and fails miserably.

“What can I do?”

Neil blinks rapidly at the ceiling. He can hear Sir leave the room and feels irrationally abandoned by her.

“Have you eaten yet?” Andrew says, changing tactics. He leaves too when Neil shakes his head, and the lonely feeling reappears.

Both the cat and his boyfriend come back minutes later, the latter carrying a plate of food and a mug of tea with him. He also has pain pills in his hand.

“I was assuming that these would help, though I’m not sure how they were going to do that from the kitchen,” Andrew says.

“I have to have them with food.”

Andrew has managed to find one of the fancy trays that Allison bought him years ago and helps him prop himself up against the pillows before placing it down on his lap. There are fresh cut strawberries and bread with honey on his plate, and Neil stares at Andrew while he bustles around the room. He’s so focused on how his hair shines in the sunlight now streaming from his window that he almost doesn’t notice that Andrew’s cleaning the floor so that his wheelchair can move around easier.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Andrew says, but the blush rising in his ears betrays his feelings.

“You didn’t have to come here,” Neil says.

“What do you do when you’re by yourself and this happens?”

Neil shrugs. “I lie in bed until I think that I can manage moving, and then I take the pills with crackers or something. And then I end up sleeping on the couch most of the day because the pills make me feel weird.”

Andrew thinks for a moment. “Do you need ice? Or a heating pad?”

“Ice would be nice,” Neil mumbles into his tea.

Andrew pauses in the doorway, looking oddly hesitant. He nods to himself before opening his mouth. “Do you ever resent being in the wheelchair?”

Neil considers the question for long enough that Andrew almost leaves without an answer. “I used to. I was really angry after it all, and it felt like I couldn’t do anything by myself. But once all of the bandages were off and Abby had taught me how to do everything, I was really glad for the wheelchair. It means that I can be independent and move around without as much pain as the walker. And there are some benefits,” Neil grins. “I can move around the apartment and still let Sir sit on my lap.”

Andrew turns around, but Neil catches the small smile on his face before he goes.

Half an hour later and Neil is swaddled in blankets, comfortably full, and sandwiched between Andrew and Sir while they watch a baking show that Andrew made him swear that he would never tell Nicky that he liked.

Matt and Dan have always tried to get Neil to call them over when this happened, and now he is starting to see why. He feels safe and almost comfortable, the pain down to a manageable level with the care that he has been given. He wonders what it would have been like if he had admitted to needing help years ago.

“How would you feel about inviting everyone here instead,” Andrew says suddenly, pushing Neil out of his head. “You don’t have to. We could reschedule movie night, Nicky would understand.”

“Aaron wouldn’t,” Neil says with something close to a pout.

Andrew’s lips twitch upward before he gets control of his expression. “Aaron would understand too.”

“I couldn’t feed them, though,” Neil says morosely. He had been looking forward to this, strangely. Maybe because this time his friends were invited too. It was sure to be loud and chaotic, but Neil thought that it would be nice for all of his favourite people to be in one room.

“Idiot,” Andrew says with too much fondness for it to be insulting. “Nicky and Matt will bring food. And Renee’s doing dessert.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Andrew watches their friends and family get comfortable in Neil’s tiny living room. All of them are holding mismatched plates filled with food and have managed to move enough things around that they could all fit in front of the TV.

Neil is sitting beside him in the corner of the sectional, legs stretched out in front of him and a plate of fruit in his hands. He still looks pale and tired, but he keeps giving Andrew a brilliant smile and he belly laughed at a joke that Matt made, so Andrew has decided that offering to bring everyone to him was a good idea after all.

Matt and Dan have somehow contorted themselves so that they can fit on the armchair beside the couch, and Aaron and Katelyn are snuggled up on the other side of the couch. Aaron had even given Neil a respectful nod and a booklet of well-meaning advice on how to care for his legs when they arrived.

(Andrew had seen the way Neil tried not to laugh when he looked through the booklet, and how his muscles seemed to relax at the lack of a rude greeting from his brother)

Erik and Nicky were cuddled on Neil’s comforter on the floor, with Renee and Allison beside them. Kevin was leaned up against the armchair and cheerfully arguing with Aaron about what a proper diet looks like.

The movie had started half an hour ago, but most of them were talking over it while Nicky shushed everyone.

Andrew’s chest is holding an expanding warm feeling while he watches the mayhem, and when he turns to look at Neil, Neil’s expression mirrors the warmth.

When Neil falls asleep on his shoulder later while Sir kneads his lap, and his brother nods acceptance at him, he knows that this will be his future.

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emmerrr · 5 years

Note

Em, I got two for you but I’ll send them in separate asks! First, #6 for Andreil.

6: “Explain it to me again - why do we need to pretend to be married?”

sorry this one took a little longer i couldn’t decide how to tackle it, so welcome to an exy free au land where andrew and neil are roommates ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [this is also on ao3 if you prefer]

Really, Neil should have known that telling a lie that specific was going to come back and bite him in the ass one day.

But it had been so convenient.

Andrew sat on the other end of the sofa, turned towards Neil, an impassive look on his face.

“Explain it to me again,” he said.

Neil sighed. “I have this thing for work on Friday. An awards thing. I’m nominated for best sport’s column or some shit, I dunno. Point is, you have to come.”

“And why do I have to come?”

Neil sighed again, and looked at his hands so he didn’t have look at Andrew. “Because they think we’re married.”

“I see,” Andrew said measuredly. “Why would they think that, exactly?”

Neil mumbled, “Because I might have…uhh, told them that we were.”

Andrew sat there in silence as he took that in, before shrugging and saying, “Yep, that’ll do it.”

Andrew had the flu when it had first happened, and Neil had begged off work early to go and look after him. He hadn’t been working at the paper for long at that point, and Seth, one of his least favourite colleagues, had snidely said, “Who’s Andrew then? Your boyfriend?”

Without missing a beat, Neil had replied, “He’s my husband, actually,” even though Andrew was his roommate (and friend) and not even remotely his husband. He’d just wanted to make Seth squirm, and it had the added bonus of getting Neil’s boss to let him leave straight away, clearly wanting to avoid Neil making a complaint against Seth.

After that, being ‘married’ to Andrew just had its perks. It got Neil out of so much overtime that he didn’t want to do, or socialising out of hours with his co-workers.

People seemed to let him off the hook for bailing a lot more if he was going home to spend time with his husband than if he was to say he was just going to hang with his roommate. It was accepted, no questions asked.

Except now it seemed to be a talking point around the office that no one had met Andrew, that Neil never brought him to any of the gatherings he did show up to, that Neil never really talked about him that much.

Then Neil got nominated for that award, and everyone just assumed Andrew would be there too.

“Oh, I don’t think he’ll be able to make it,” Neil said. The only reason he was going was because he had to; awards shows were notoriously boring.

Everyone in earshot had shot Neil sympathetic, concerned looks. “He’s not coming to an important event in his husband’s career?” Matt said, frowning.

“Sounds like a keeper,” Allison said, sarcasm dripping in her tone.

Defensiveness rose to Neil’s surface on behalf of his husband, which was ridiculous because he didn’t have a husband. Theoretically, if Andrew was his husband, Neil was sure he would go. If Neil asked him to.

“No, I mean, I’m not sure if he can get out of work,” Neil said hastily and stupidly. What was it to him if everyone thought his fake marriage was in jeopardy? “He’d love to go.”

“I’m sure he can get off work if he explains the situation,” Dan said, then smiled brightly. “So I guess we’ll see him there?”

Neil had been backed into a corner. He’d nodded weakly, and then at the end of the day had traipsed home and waited for Andrew to get home from his job at the library so he could explain the whole thing.

Andrew listened as Neil filled him in on how exactly he’d gotten them into this mess. He didn’t look annoyed, although he did look vaguely amused at certain points, which Neil was taking as a good sign.

“Sorry,” Neil finally finished. “I should…I can just tell them the truth. This isn’t your problem.”

“Makes no difference to me,” Andrew said. “I don’t mind going to your awards show.”

Neil brightened. “Really? Even though…I mean, they all think we’re married.”

“Yeah, I got that part, Neil.”

“...That doesn’t bother you?”

Andrew looked at him, unflinching. “Why would that bother me?”

Neil wasn’t going to argue if Andrew was up for it, so he shook his head. “No reason.”

Andrew showing up should be enough to get everyone at work off his back for a while, so Neil was in good spirits in the days leading up to the awards show. But he was also, to his surprise, carrying a fair amount of nervous-excited energy. Considering he really didn’t care about the award, he had to attribute it to the fact that Andrew was coming with him. It was absurd; he spent lots of time with Andrew. Why wouldn’t he? They were friends.

Best friends.

Andrew accompanying him meant that Neil didn’t have to pick his own outfit either. Andrew sorted him out in a fitted suit, navy with gold leaf detail. He wore a black shirt underneath, top two buttons undone. He never would have picked it out for himself in a million years, but he liked how he looked in it.

Andrew, for his part, was decked out in a maroon suit with a pale pink shirt. His tie was a midnight blue and adorned with constellations.

“You look good,” Neil told him honestly.

Andrew fixed Neil’s collar. His hands lingered, and he glanced into Neil’s eyes and then away. “So do you.” He stepped back and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Let’s go.”

They were the last of Neil’s office to arrive at the venue and were quickly shown to their table by an usher. They were on a table with Dan, Matt, and Allison, their seats side-by-side, name-tags in place. Andrew held his up to show Neil, bemused. It said Andrew Josten in a fancy font.

“Don’t remember agreeing to take your name,” he said.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Dan said, then looked quizzically to Neil. “Then is Josten not your surname?”

“It is,” Neil said. “We’re the, uh, Josten-Minyard’s.”

Andrew’s snort was audible to no one but Neil as they took their seats. Neil made quick work of introducing Andrew to everyone, and when he finished they all sat there and beamed at Andrew expectantly.

“So, Andrew,” Matt said. “Neil never tells us anything. Where did you guys meet?”

“College,” Andrew replied. This was true.

“Bless, college sweethearts,” Dan said. “Did you know he was the one right away?”

Neil groaned and shrank lower in his chair.

“Let’s just say he grew on me,” Andrew said, which made everyone at the table laugh, but there was something in his tone that made Neil sneak a look at him. His expression hadn’t changed, but he didn’t return Neil’s look.

A server arrived and passed out champagne, and Neil hoped the interruption would nip the line of questioning in the bud.

Unfortunately not.

“What did you notice first about him?” Allison asked. “Kid’s got killer eyes, am I right?”

“His ass,” Andrew said bluntly, and Neil choked on his champagne.

Allison cackled, and Matt thumped Neil jovially on the back. “Well there had to be something about him that piqued your interest since Neil’s such an asshole,” Allison continued, but she said it fondly, because she was an asshole too.

“Sure he is,” Andrew said, but this time he caught Neil’s gaze and held it. “That’s my favourite thing about him.”

For a few seconds, Neil let everything fade to the background and stared back at Andrew. For those seconds, they were the only people in the room, and Neil finally thought he was starting to understand something that had been right under his nose the entire time.

No, Andrew wasn’t his husband, but Andrew was his everything. Theirs was the most important relationship in Neil’s life, the one he held above all the others. It was that simple, and he couldn’t believe it had taken him so long to see it.

“Oh,” he said, and the room came rushing back in.

Thankfully, the conversation shifted, and then the awards ceremony actually started so no one asked any more intrusive questions.

Neil was barely aware of what was going on on the stage, who was winning what. He clapped when other people clapped, but his mind was buzzing. He was very aware of Andrew sitting beside him and was struck by the urge to reach out and take a hold of Andrew’s hand, just to see what he’d do. He refrained.

When it came time for Neil’s award, Dan excitedly said, “This is it!” which Neil was grateful for because he hadn’t been paying enough attention to figure that out on his own.

The nominees were announced, and Neil thought he just about managed to smile when his name was mentioned. He hadn’t been expecting to win, so it did startle him a little when he was, in fact, announced as the winner. He sat there, silently stunned, until Andrew put his hand on the back of Neil’s neck, leaned close to his ear and said, “That’s you, Neil. You won.”

He got to his feet and made his way to the stage to rapturous applause, and accepted his award. It felt heavy in his hands, and Neil let a flicker of professional pride run through his veins.

He stepped up to the podium to make his speech; impromptu, as he hadn’t prepared one. He really hadn’t anticipated winning.

“Uhh, thanks to my friends and colleagues, Dan, Matt, and Allison, you’re all giant pains in my ass but I couldn’t imagine working with anyone else. My editor, David Wymack, your constant threats to sign me up for a marathon if I miss a deadline work wonders, so a part of this belongs to you.” Good-natured laughter trickled through the crowd, and Neil sought out his table. Andrew was easy enough to pick out, but maybe that was because Neil was just always looking for him.

“Most of all,” he continued, “thank you to Andrew, for putting up with me, and for coming with me tonight. I hope you know how much I appreciate it.”

Speech over, Neil nodded once again to the crowd who began clapping again, and then he quickly departed from the stage. He didn’t sit down when he reached his table, but he put his hand on the back of Andrew’s chair and leaned down.

“You wanna get out of here?”

“Yes,” Andrew said at once, then stood up and took Neil’s hand, leading him out of the venue.

He still hadn’t let go when they were in the parking lot heading for the car. “I should have asked,” Andrew said, looking down at their joined hands. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” Neil said. “I want you to.”

There was a pause. “Do you want me to because it helps you keep up your fake husband story, or do you just want to?”

Neil squeezed Andrew’s hand. “We’re outside, away from prying eyes, and I haven’t let go. I want to.”

They reached the car, still holding hands, and Andrew pushed Neil up against the driver’s door. His eyes flickered to Neil’s lips, intention clear, but he didn’t kiss him.

“Why now?” he asked, just a hint of frustration in his tone. “After all this time?”

“I don’t know. I just...it’s you, Andrew. You’re who I want to see at the end of the day. You’re who I want to eat breakfast with. You’re who I want to thank when I win meaningless awards.”

Andrew sighed, and pressed his forehead into Neil’s shoulder. “Took you long enough.”

“I know,” Neil said apologetically. “But I got there in the end.”

They stood there like that, fingers intertwined, Andrew so close but not close enough, and then Neil couldn’t take it anymore.

“Andrew? Can you kiss me now?”

Andrew raised his head. “Well,” he said, “I guess I am your husband after all.”

He leaned in, and the kiss was gentler than Neil expected it to be. He liked it; it was like a promise of what was to come now that they had time.

They got into the car and Andrew got them moving, heading home.

“Oh god,” Neil said when they were almost home. “How the fuck am I going to explain this? You have to marry me for real, I can’t do it, it’s too awkward.”

Andrew smiled, a small thing, but a true one.

“Buy me dinner first,” he said.

Neil smiled back; his heart felt full.

“I can do that.”

#the foxhole court #andreil #tumblr prompts #tfc fic #tfc

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wulfrann · 4 years

Text

Frost Bite (Andreil Jack Frost AU, part 2)

All for the Game

Rating: Teen and Up

Story Warnings: Swearing

Relationship: Andrew Minyard/Neil Josten, Andrew Minyard & Renee Walker, Andrew Minyard & Nicky Hemmick

Additional Tags: Neil is Jack Frost AU, writer!Andrew, winter spirit!Neil, Pining, Therapy with Betsy, Friendship, Andrew tries to cope with Neil being gone, German Folklore, Andrew Minyard POV

[Part 2 of the When the frost is in bloom series - 8200 words - Published 2019-11-28]

Summary:

A few months after Neil leaves for the second time, Andrew decides to break his first writing rule and starts working on a sequel to Der ausweichende Winter.

He made sure to give the story a definite, well-rounded ending, but for some reason the characters just won’t leave him alone.

Read on AO3

A few months after Neil leaves for the second time, Andrew decides to break his first writing rule and starts working on a sequel to Der ausweichende Winter.

He made sure to give the story a definite, well-rounded ending, but for some reason the characters just won’t leave him alone.

And if he catches himself replacing Isa Holle’s name with Neil’s more often than he cares to admit, well. No one has to know.

Wymack does a poor job of hiding his surprise. Still, given the book’s success, he can only encourage it. It appears Fuchsbau Verlag has been receiving a steady influx of kids’ letters asking for more of Isa Holle’s adventures ever since the book came out. Most of them are for Andrew, but a respectable number are addressed to the characters themselves.

It takes Andrew by surprise.

He’s received letters before - but never that many, and never have his readers (no matter how young and impressionable) written directly to his characters.

It’s flattering.

Wymack promises to have Renee deliver the letters the next time she’s in town - which, according to hers and Andrew’s latest call, should only take a few days. He knows Wymack will probably send Renee with instructions to figure out Andrew’s plans for the book as well, but he doesn’t object.

Let her try - he’ll reveal as much as he wants to, and nothing more.

Keeping Neil out of his mind is difficult. Andrew is reminded of him every time King saunters into the room and nuzzles against his ankles. Whenever he thinks about his book. While he writes. Every fucking evening as he steps outside to smoke.

Every time Andrew looks out the window, he can’t help but picture Neil opening the balcony door to drag snowflakes and white breaths inside with him.

It’s a nuisance.

It chips away at his concentration until he’s glancing at the cigarette pack lying next to his keys more often than he’s finishing a damn sentence.

By the point Renee finally comes back to Stuttgart, he’s about ready to throw his computer out the fucking window.

Needless to say it’s a welcome distraction.

Renee notices, of course, because she knows him better than anyone. But since she’s a good person, she has the decency to wait until after their sparring session to mention it - once Andrew’s sore and centered and lying on the ground, feeling more himself than he has since Spring took over.

Neil throws him off-kilter. Pulls him out of axis and into his own orbit with an ease that’s less of a surprise than it has any right being.

It’s dangerous. And it’s gotten worse.

The first time Neil left, Andrew had been fine. He’d thrown himself into his work with little more obsession than he always did, had drunk more coffee than he probably ought to, but he’d been fine. Spring and Summer and Fall hadn’t all sounded the same.

He wasn’t counting, wasn’t waiting - would not set himself up for disappointment.

But he had grown used to Neil the second time around.

He had let him worm his way into his life - slowly but surely, the shape of Neil huddled on the couch reading with King in his lap had become part of his routine.

There were other things too. Because of course there were.

There were quiet conversations in the night that smelled like smoke; there was a mug that was only ever filled with warm water; there was frost blooming on the window every morning -

There were mingled breaths clinging to bitten lips and a different kind of warmth curling all around them, slow and careful and heady, and yes’s that left him dizzy and hands that stopped at his command.

There was someone to make him coffee while he was working and hot cocoa when he was not.

Andrew had known it was dangerous, but he’d let it happen all the same. And he hates Neil for it. Hates himself most of all, for letting it get this far, for being unable to squash the weak and fragile hope that Winter cradles now in its arms - a snow-white, fleeting flake, as delicate as it is razor-sharp.

When Andrew’s breathing has finally settled, Renee holds out a hand for him to take. She pulls him to his feet, grasp slippery with sweat but steady all the same, then spins around and settles herself on the bench, uncapping her water bottle with a small tilt of her head. If he didn’t know better, Andrew would think it was choreographed - not a single movement out of place, not a breath lost or step unsure. In fighting as in life, Renee moves like a dancer.

A lethal one.

Andrew joins her on the bench and picks his own water bottle up.

“Wymack told me that you’re writing a sequel,” she says. Andrew shrugs and takes a generous swallow. The water feels good running down his throat. His body is wild, abuzz with endorphins - he envies Neil’s flying abilities for a split second. The fantasy is short-lived however, and he quickly brings the bottle back up to his lips. Still, thoughts of the void cause his stomach to squirm, so he taps the ground with the tip of his foot to make sure that it’s still holding steady, and briefly relishes in its safety. “I thought sequels were the mark of the Unimaginative?” Renee goes on, then gets up.

“Imagination isn’t lucrative,” Andrew deadpans. "Maybe capitalism finally got to me.”

Renee taps her chin with one finger and a smile. “That’d be unfortunate. But I don’t believe you.”

“Sounds like a you problem,” Andrew says, then follows her up so they can start to stretch. Renee takes the hint. They bend and twist their muscles so and so in silence, and in the wishful hopes that they won’t feel sore come morning - or not so much that they won’t be able to walk, at least, in Andrew’s case.

(Sure, he stays in shape. He has a yearly membership at the gym and makes good use of it. But that level of exercise is as good as a stroll in the park compared to a sparring session with a pro MMA fighter.

Which Renee still is, official retirement be damned.)

“I’m tired of surviving, Andrew,” she’d said. “There are better fights than those we lead for our own sake. Fights that give, instead of fights that take. And I’m finally ready to give back.”

Andrew had taken a drag of his cigarette, aiming for nonchalant. He’s not sure it’d worked. “I thought that’s what praying was for.”

She’d smiled, because she always did.

“Faith without following through is like a cup without water. Useless, unless you plan to hit someone with it.”

“You sound like a fortune cookie,” he’d said, because he’d been buzzed and his best friend (not that he’d admit it) was leaving - and because Andrew liked a good metaphor, too, and that just hadn’t been one.

She’d left the next day with the Peace Corps. One week later, Andrew had received a package: a glass jar, filled to the brim with hollow, ravioli-shaped biscuits as tasteless as the ‘wisdom’ within it.

He’d thrown out the cookies because they were awful. He’d kept the jar because it was practical. (In the bottom left cupboard, beneath the sink. He’s been using it to store Sir’s dry food ever since she’s learned to torn open the sturdy plastic bag it comes in.)

He’s never told her, about the jar - the cookies he’d taken a picture of after he’d thrown them in the trash, and had sent it with the caption: ‘It was an insult’.

(‘You shouldn’t waste food, Andrew.’)

(‘This isn’t food. At best it’s cardboard.’)

Nowadays however, Renee has been leaving less and less. She’s always divided her time between volunteering and earning actual money - whether it was from beating up an infinite amount of people in a ring or doing whatever it is Fuchsbau Verlag pays her to do hadn’t changed that - but the proportions seem to have been reversed as of late, if only slightly so. She doesn’t leave for a full year anymore, and when she does spend most of one away, she never fully breaks contact.

Andrew tells her that, in his own words, on the way back to his place. Renee hums. Andrew knows not to take that for an answer, so they walk in silence until Renee’s done turning her thoughts into words. (And this is another reason why Renee’s his best friend, Andrew thinks. She knows the weight of words. The importance of choice.)

It takes a few minutes, but her voice is clear and steady when she speaks. “When I left for the first time, I thought I was finally ready to be good - truly good. I wanted to find redemption, and I thought that was the way to go about it: throw myself out there fresh out of the ring, and let helping be my healing.”

She pauses. Looks at her hands, loosely curled into fists in front of her. The index finger on her right hand is crooked, bent to the left from a vicious fracture. Her eyes linger on it.

“And it worked, at first, or at least I thought it did. The ring didn’t call to me anymore, not in the way it used to. I didn’t need my fists to stay sane. But I still needed to fight.”

She looks up, and finds something in the clouds, and blinks.

“I told you that fighting for others was better than fighting for myself, and it was - but better isn’t good.” She shakes her head. “I told myself I was helping, but really it was just another ring. I wasn’t giving back - I wasn’t even healing. I was just trying to forget.”

She smiles, then, because of course she does. “Retiring helped, but not as much as I’d hoped it would. It just wasn’t right. I asked Wymack for a job and he gave it to me. And it did help.” Her eyes find his, gentle, open, sincere. “The thing with stories is... they can reach even the most hidden scars in ourselves and pick at it. And I hadn’t healed right, so I needed to bleed again.”

There’s another pause. Andrew surveys the clouds for chances of rain and decides that it’s not for today.

“If I can heal through stories, then I want to try and help others do the same.” She says it like an evidence. A relief. Andrew knows the kind.

He feels it too, sometimes. This sense of direction. This meaning. This there’s a purpose for me here. He’s not sure he has the right.

They reach a street corner that marks the limit of what Andrew has come to think of as his part of town. His neighborhood, as much as the word doesn’t suit him. (There is always an itch where home is. Nowhere can wholly be truly safe, or so Andrew has come to learn. But it’s not as bad as it used to be.)

“How are King and Sir?” Renee asks him with a voice that hints at something else, disturbing Andrew’s thoughts.

Stuttgart’s early spring sky is white today, like a thin sheet of ice. Andrew shoves his hands into his coat pockets. “Irritating.”

Renee hums, playing with the hint of a smirk on the edge of her lips. She doesn’t ask why he keeps them around, then, because she knows. Instead she moves on, as Andrew knew she would. “How’s Mia?”

Andrew throws one of his deadpan looks that’s really a glare her way, just to make a point. He knows Renee’s immune to them by now, but it’s the principle. He has to at least pretend to be difficult.

He lights up a cigarette because he wants to annoy her.

“She’s having nightmares.”

The smoke curls up, volatile and barely there, almost tangible for a second before it’s gone. Vanishing into thin air. Like you. Andrew makes a fist of his free hand. “It’s always the same nightmare,” he pushes on. “Always the same boy, asking for help. But it’s becoming clearer. And the boy is starting to explain.”

“Can I ask who he is, or is that classified?”

She’s teasing. Andrew taps the ash off his cigarette and takes another drag, because that kind of information shouldn’t be easy to ask for. Stories take time. Fortunately for her, Andrew never seems to be able to reach the bottom of Renee’s patience, and she just waits for him to speak.

“Alberich, Prince of Nightmares,” he exhales with the smoke. (And how fitting is it, for this fleeting little prince. Curling away in the breeze.) “It’s in the first chapter.”

Renee smiles, a knowing curve to it. “Where did you take him from?”

“Das Nibelungenlied and some old Dutch poem, Karel ende Elegast. Mostly,” Andrew answers, punctuating it with a vague gesture of his cigarette-holding hand and a scowl. “For now. I need more material.”

Renee nods. She’s still smiling. “Will Isa be back?”

Andrew takes a deep cancer-filled breath, making a point not to look at the wreaths of smoke. His gaze ends up drifting upwards anyway.

He hums a yes.

Renee hums back, pleased and appreciative. Andrew is honest enough to admit that her approval feels nice. “I liked him - and so did your readers, judging by the letters they sent. I brought them with me, as you asked.”

Andrew nods. They’ve reached his block; he can see his door, his windows. The balcony.

“He’s a good character,” Renee goes on while Andrew opens the door. “He and Mia make quite the pair.” Andrew closes the door behind them. “Their relationship is an interesting one.” They climb up the three sets of stairs. “I don’t think you’ve ever written a character quite like Isa, to be honest. It almost feels like he’s actually real.”

Andrew puts the key in and turns, opening the door to his apartment. A soft thump, and Sir’s meow greets them both at the door. His tail is a question mark, a welcome home, where have you been? that Andrew answers by letting her smell the outdoors upon him. She saunters over to Renee then, curious and friendly, the known scent rising up from the shallow depths of her feline memory.

King, on the other hand, goes straight for the shoes. It gets a surprised laugh out of Renee.

“You never did tell me how you got that one.”

Andrew shrugs, shucks his coat off and goes about making tea. He doesn’t have to ask - the only reason he even has any in his flat is because of Renee, though he’s not about to admit it.

“Found him on the balcony freezing his fur off.”

“And you kept him.”

Technically it’s a statement, so Andrew chooses to ignore the implicit question there.

Renee doesn’t pry. She gets her tea and makes a neat pile of the letters Andrew and his characters have received on the coffee table, next to the yet-unopened book on German mythology Andrew’s been meaning to get into. He’s already gone through the other books he has on the subject, has combed every entry on the seasons, on winter - everything white-hair, ice-eyes, cold-hands.

(Where should I take you? Where do you fit?)

The myths are old and paper-worn. Any kind of new ink wears out under their weight, their dust and their mazes. They are enigmas kept alive from mouth to mouth, hungry voices to hungry ears. Humans and their stories. Andrew spins old texts through the spindle of himself and weaves a role for those threads of him that he cards out.

(It’s not you, it’s me. All I ever write is me. Take this image of you, shred it with your too-cold fingers, let me twine your story within mine.

Would you mind if you knew?

I made yourself a piece of me.)

Most of the letters are about what he expected. Kids who identify with the characters, kids who wonder whether Isa Holle is real (Have you met him? Does he really make snow fall? Did he teach you to talk to the wind like he does? and the answers on the tip of his tongue sing yes yes and no), kids who share their own stories with him, memories about winter, about snow, how they’ve learned to appreciate the cold weather more. There are a few from parents, too, who read the book with their children and found themselves enjoying it, and even one from a grandmother.

And then there are the letters that were written to Mia, or to Isa, and all of those kids believe in his story, and there’s even a few of them who say they’ve seen him.

It’s a lot.

Andrew leaves the letters on his coffee table and gets out. He’s not sure he could stomach smoking on the balcony right now.

Here’s the thing: Andrew knows he’s never written anything better than this damn book. He knows. He poured his damn soul into the thing. And he hates that he did.

The story is simple: a lonely girl makes a friend, and together they save the day.

Except it’s a little more complicated than that. Mia, a teenage girl, starts looking for Winter, because it’s the one season she loves and it’s late. So she falls into a well that leads her above the clouds, where she meets Oma Holle - Bringer of Cold, Destroyer of Pillows, Retiree Extraordinaire, and grandmother to the current Winter: Isa Holle, white-haired runaway on a vacation across worlds. Of course, once Mia finds him, she quickly realises that he is not, in fact, on a vacation, but is being chased by a pack of Sunlit Wolves. Shenanigans ensue, and she’s somehow roped into helping him trap them somewhere, and in the middle of adversity a beautiful friendship is born.

Except that it’s not just that, is it? Because Isa’s mother never wanted him and left, and his father is the one trying to get him killed. Because Mia is adopted, and the disconnection she feels towards her loving family is what ultimately drives her to Isa. Because their friendship is founded in part in a strong, mutual understanding of what it feels to be alone.

Bee, of course, is thrilled. She loved the first book, and cannot wait to see how Andrew will continue the story. It would have been a shame to drop such well-rounded characters, after all, although she understands why Andrew is - partially - reluctant.

“Exposing ourselves is hard, and it’s something we both know you struggle with. I’m proud of you for being so vulnerable with your readers in this book, Andrew, even if it was unintentional,” she tells him from over the steaming edge of her cocoa cup. Her smile is as warm as her drink. “The fact that you are now able to lower your guard as you did, though it can be frightening at times, is ultimately a good thing. It shows real progress.”

“I’m not sure I can do it again.”

“And that’s okay. But you won’t know unless you try.”

Andrew has a feeling she already knows something else is keeping him from writing, except that something is gone and never was here in the first place, so he leaves it at that.

Except that he was here, wasn't he? He was there on the balcony and on his couch, at his table. Andrew can’t write it off this time, not now, not ever because this time they touched, because Neil had become more real than a dream and Andrew had made him that way, had brought him that much more into his world by just writing about him. And even though he didn’t want to believe that he did, because they’d tested it, and a whole plane of Andrew’s life doesn’t make sense anymore.

Writing is a mess. The fleeting line between fiction and reality, stupidity and sensibility, magic and logic - he can’t tell where it’s gone. He doesn’t know what he believes in anymore. Stories are supposed to be safe. They’re supposed to bring you somewhere else for a while, somewhere where you can learn and play and hope all in the safety of your own mind. You aren’t supposed to bring anything back. You cannot bring anything back, and definitely not someone, definitely not him, of all things. The savior of trapped strays, riding the wind and clearing up a path for all lost kids. Those kinds of things don’t exist.

(In his weaker moments, Andrew often wonders why he couldn’t have been one of those kids. Where had his escape route been when all he’d had were bruises to cover and fairy tales to cling to?)

Andrew never should have been allowed to write about kids. It would have only been fair. He’d never been allowed to be one, after all.

So why does he keep doing it?

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never save me.

But they had.

Hadn’t they?

Andrew writes.

Not as fast as he’d like to, not as right. But he writes anyway. He pushes through the quiet whirlwind freezing his inspiration over. It’s a slow process, and thankless besides; Andrew has to fight the urge to delete and rewrite every sentence he produces, which is already trying on its own, and whatever he does manage not to frustratingly erase just leaves his lower eyelids twitching in distaste.

He hasn’t felt this solidly blocked in a long time. Usually this is cause for pride - or at the very least, satisfaction - but right now it just means that he isn’t equipped to deal with his own mess, which aggravates him in just that special kind of way.

It just figures that his ever-so annoying cousin would choose precisely this Thursday to hold one of his Mandatory Family Dinners.

Andrew would skip, but then Nicky would never forgive him, and he can’t have that.

(This isn’t true. Nicky would forgive him in a heartbeat. But there would be a look in his eyes, an old carefulness in the way he would move when Andrew’d be around, and that particular mess would take months to undo.)

Nicky’s flat is in Stuttgart West, a little ways off from the center where Andrew lives, on the third floor of one of those older, modernised buildings tourists take pictures of. It takes about one second and a half after Andrew's ringed the bell for Nicky to open the door with a smile bigger than his own face. “Andrew! You made it. Can I hug you?”

“No.”

Nicky shrugs and moves aside to let Andrew step in, megawatt smile absolutely unmoved. “I hope you like carrot salad because Katelyn brought, like, ten kilos worth of it.”

Andrew makes a face. Nicky snorts at it.

“Don’t worry, you’ll have your Schwarzwälder. Erik spent the whole evening on it.”

“Good.”

Nicky rolls his eyes. They join the others in the living room, where Aaron is busy telling Erik everything about his latest hospital story. He’s interrupted once Erik notices Andrew and immediately rises from the couch to greet him.

“You’re just in time for dinner, Andrew! I hope you didn’t have too much trouble parking.”

“You’re late,” Aaron supplies.

Andrew lets go of Erik’s businessman grip and nods at Katelyn, who nods in return and smiles, deliberately saving Aaron for last. “I had trouble parking.”

“You could have taken the tram.”

“He’s here,” Katelyn chimes in with a pointed look towards Aaron. “That’s all that matters.”

She still has her American accent, but even Andrew has to admit that it's barely noticeable anymore. She'd barely known any German when she'd arrived in Berlin years ago on that cultural exchange program, a weakness Andrew had taken advantage of immediately. The fact that he can’t anymore is irritating, but impressive.

Nicky emerges from the kitchen then, steaming dish in hand, cutting both Andrew's thoughts and Aaron's retort short. “Meal’s ready and I’m starving, so you all children will have to bicker later!”

Aaron huffs, but gets up to sit at the dining table with Katelyn in tow and a big salad bowl. Andrew is distracted by a movement in the corner of his eye, and watches Erik take a detour on his way to the kitchen to plant a kiss on Nicky’s cheek. “I’ll get the wine.”

Andrew looks away to sit as Nicky lets out an aggravated sigh. “Yes please.”

Erik snorts and they part ways, Nicky’s smile back in place as he puts the dish down in the middle of the table.

“Tada! Braised chicken with asparagus and baby potatoes, a la Nicky Hemmick-Klose. You’re welcome.”

“It looks delicious Nicky,” Katelyn beams.

“Wait til you taste it!” Nicky grins, sitting down.

Erik soon reappears with a bottle of white that he pours into everyone’s glass before taking his seat, right between Andrew and Nicky, and the chicken starts making its way around the table for everyone to grab a serving. Katelyn’s carrot salad goes around, too, but Andrew passes it along fast enough that he almost knocks Erik’s glass down. Small talk creeps its way across the table as everyone starts to dig in, so Andrew falls silent.

Watching Aaron interact with Katelyn, watching Nicky interact with Erik, listening to them all talk about coworkers and house chores or whether they want kids, Andrew is content to retreat to the sidelines.

When Aaron first had told him about Katelyn over Skype (and hadn't that taken his brother a long time to do), Andrew had felt like destroying the world. They'd been damn lucky Bee had talked him out of using all of his money on a plane ticket across the country. (“He's allowed to make his own decisions, Andrew . You don't have to protect him the way you did before.”) When Aaron had finally brought her back over with him for Christmas, Andrew had had enough time to mull it over that he'd only wanted to choke the life out of Katelyn.

Erik… Erik was different. Erik had saved Nicky's life and thus, the twins'. He'd gone out of his way to make sure the three of them could come back and settle in Stuttgart. He'd given them space. Andrew had hated him for stealing his cousin away from him when Nicky had graduated from college, but he'd only had to glance at Nicky’s smile upon hearing the news to let it slide.

(The fact that Erik could bake had helped his case. Sweetened the deal, Nicky would say.)

At the end of the day, Erik and Katelyn are - distantly - family. But allowing them in has disturbed Andrew's balance, and he still isn't sure if he'll ever gain it back.

Andrew knows, of course, he knows, from countless sessions with Bee, that there are many ways to make a good life. To find balance. And Andrew does like his life, for the most part.

Still, there’s a voice he can’t quite shut up in his head, that likes to sing whenever they’re all gathered like this.

(They don’t need you, and you know that, the voice whispers. They’re all safe now. They’ve even found their happiness. So why haven’t you?)

Andrew opens the kitchen window and lights a cigarette. The smoke fills his shell with a strange kind of heat, one will-o’-the-wisp flickering in the wind.

Eventually Nicky joins him. The night is vast outside, dark and thick and starless, wool-clouds heavy like blankets high above. They watch the city in silence: lonely passing cars and straying pedestrians in the dark, orange electric lights, whispering trees, nocturnal birds. Andrew surveys it all and then Nicky, one shoulder pressed against the wall, his chest leaning in slightly and his neck arched, eyes wandering out the window. They’re crowding the space, the both of them. This rectangular kitchen with its square window and barely room enough there for two.

Still, they’re not touching. Nicky made sure of it.

(They’d had a conversation here, when Nicky and Erik had just moved in. They’d been standing just like this. Andrew had rapped a knuckle on the window sill and Nicky’s gaze had drifted back inside.

“Are you happy?” he’d asked.

Nicky’s eyes had widened for less than a second, then his expression had settled and he’d smiled, quietly. “Yes. I’m happy.”

Andrew had nodded. Nicky had looked at him with that face he still makes when he wants to pry but isn't sure he can. Andrew had taken a drag out of his cigarette and blown the smoke outside, eyes trailing after it.

“Aaron is too,” Nicky had finally ventured.

Andrew had let a few seconds of silence pass before he’d said, “Good.”

“Are you?” Nicky’d asked then. He’d still been looking at him, on his face a smaller, more careful kind of smile. Caring. Andrew had been tempted to leave.

In the end he’d opted for honesty and said, “I don’t know.”

Nicky had opened his mouth, then closed it when Andrew’d glared at him. Then he’d sighed and said “Okay.”

Andrew had finished his cigarette in silence after that, and they’d gone back to the living room and kicked Erik’s ass at Mario Kart. It had been, all in all, a not-so-terrible evening.)

Nicky is the first to break the silence this time. It’s about the book, of course.

“A little birdie told me you’re writing a sequel,” he says. He’s grinning, and looks way too pleased about it. Andrew throws him a glare.

“Who told you?”

“No one!” Nicky says, holding both hands up in defense. “I’ve just got amazing detective skills.”

“Renee told you.”

Nicky’s grin becomes brighter in the face of Andrew’s statement and he shrugs, looking entirely too unapologetic. “Okay, she did. We had coffee together a few days ago and she knew that you’d never tell me yourself.” Andrew frowns. Nicky dismisses it with an eyeroll and a huff. “I’m not going to tell everyone, Andrew. I can keep it secret if you want me to. Give me at least a little credit.”

Andrew raises his eyebrows. Nicky mock-glares at him.

“I raised you,” he says accusingly, pointing at Andrew with narrowed eyes. It quickly morphs into a pout, however, as he goes on. “Shouldn’t that make me one of the first people you tell big news like this?”

“You’ll be the first to know when I run for Chancellor.”

Nicky snorts, but he doesn’t rise to the bait. “Don’t try and pass this off as if it’s nothing, Andrew. You never write sequels.”

“I just did,” Andrew says, and blows smoke out the window.

Nicky rolls his eyes at him again. “Alright, be difficult. One day you’re gonna get out of your teenage rebellion phase.” Andrew looks at him with a blank face. Nicy sighs, mockingly aggravated. The effect is utterly lost when it all melts into a smile. “I’m glad you are, though, Andrew. Writing a sequel.”

“Thanks,” Andrew says ironically.

Nicky huffs. “Seriously,” he says, and holds Andrew’s eyes with a sincerity that makes him want to look away. He doesn’t, though, because Nicky deserves better. Because he does, too. “I’m proud of you, Andrew. You know that, right?”

Andrew breathes smoke in then out, and in again. “I know,” he says, the words spilling out with the fumes.

“And I’m glad you found characters worth sticking around for,” Nicky adds.

Andrew frowns, but doesn’t respond. He finishes his cigarette in silence while Nicky waits, gazing out the window with a smile.

Erik still sucks at Mario Kart. Katelyn has upped her game, though, and Andrew only takes first place by a hair’s breadth. It’s not the worse evening he could’ve had.

Eventually Spring goes by. Andrew spends most of the Summer holed up in his flat, either writing or researching obsessively.

Renee comes around a few times but she’s busy with her brand new girlfriend, a friend of Nicky’s from oversea with blond hair and a wallet that’s probably the size of the whole country. She looks happy, though, so Andrew’s mostly okay with it. He’s tempted to make sure Allison Reynolds (‘Allie’) isn’t a threat, but Renee’s more than capable of defending her own heart and he’s neck-deep into Der Albtraumprinz anyway.

There are a few check-ins with Wymack, obviously. A few texts from Aaron. Monthly sessions with Bee. Nicky blowing up his phone with pictures of his wedding anniversary trip. Kevin even manages to drag him to a museum once while he’s in town.

Before he knows it the first leaves are already starting to fall.

It’s right in the middle of October when Andrew decides to tell Bee.

He doesn’t tell her everything, obviously. Only the realistic parts.

That there’s… someone. That they met two winters ago. That he left, and then came back, and left again. And yes, Neil came back, once, but what’s to say that he’ll find his way here again?

“Why wouldn’t he?” asks Bee. Andrew has about a thousand answers to offer, but he knows those aren’t the ones she wants him to find. So he searches, beneath the layers over layers of deflection and defense. It takes a few minutes. But here it is.

“There’s nothing worth coming back for.”

Andrew speaks the words matter-of-factly, like it’s nothing. Bee takes it in stride.

“Is that what you believe, or what you think?”

“Both.”

Bee nods, understanding as ever. “Very well. What makes someone worth coming back for, then?”

Andrew is tempted to cut the session short. He’s done it before, and he knows Bee won’t hold him back. But in the end he stays, and forces himself to think about it. He picks the question up and turns it around, examining the responses it creates in his mind. There’s a common factor there, so that’s what he focuses on.

“Protection. Safety.”

Bee hums. “Is that why he came back the first time?”

Andrew shrugs.

“Alright. Let’s try to look at this differently then. Why do you want him to come back?”

Andrew frowns. Bee is smiling over the rim of her cup, a small, patient smile she always has when she’s waiting.

Andrew opens his mouth. “He’s... interesting.” Bee raises his eyebrows at him, encouraging him to expand. Andrew’s fingers itch for a cigarette. “Every time I think I’ve got him figured out, he does or say something surprising and I have to reset my expectations. It’s irritating.” Andrew huffs. It only makes Bee’s smile warmer. “He respects my boundaries,” Andrew adds, because that had surprised him perhaps more than anything else, and because Bee will know. “Doesn’t question them, doesn’t push.”

“Does that make you feel safe?” Bee asks.

“No.”

“Why?”

“He’s a liability.”

“Because you’re not sure he’s coming back,” Bee says. It’s not a question. Andrew nods, even though it’s more complicated than that. But Bee knows this too, and he’s too on edge to explain. “Does he make you feel safer than Roland?”

Andrew frowns. He was not expecting that name to come up. “He’s nothing like Roland.”

Bee hums. “How so?”

Roland wasn’t a dead winter spirit with flying powers, Andrew doesn’t say. He leans back instead, crossing his arms. “Roland was a means to an end. I couldn’t have cared less about him.”

There. He says it with defiance, daring Bee to remark on it. Andrew’s fingers are digging into his arms.

And it’s true. Roland had been an opportunity, useful while it’d lasted.

Neil, on the other hand, is a risk.

This isn’t what he said. Not really. But it is what Bee will understand anyway.

She lets a few seconds pass, waiting to see if Andrew has anything to add. When it’s clear he doesn’t, she leans slightly forward with her elbows braced on her knees. “There’s nothing that you can do that will make Neil come back. That is entirely up to him. What you can do, however, is focus on the fact that you want him to and why, and what it means.”

That’s exactly what I don’t want to think about, Andrew almost says. But he knows that’s exactly the point.

It’s the middle of October, and outside the leaves make a carpet of red and brown. The whole world will be white in two months.

Andrew finishes Der Albtraumprinz’s definitive draft at about the same time that the last dried leaf reaches the ground. As he’s walking to Fuchsbau Verlag with the whole thing printed out, Andrew notices a new sharpness to the cold air blowing South. It bites into his cheeks and the tip of his nose, turning his breaths into small, white-as-the-sky-above-him clouds.

A gust of wind howls into his ears, blowing past his coat to stick something between his ribs. Andrew grits his teeth and pushes on.

It’s the 14th of December and Stuttgart’s Weihnachtsmarkt is in full swing when Andrew finally caves. Nicky has been to harassing him into going with him to the Christmas Market for days, but the promise of Renee’s presence is the only reason why Andrew ends up agreeing to the “evening of Christmas magic and late night shopping” Nicky’s planned.

As Andrew suspected, it ends up involving a lot more gawking at Christmas carols and wandering around than any actual Christmas errands. Nicky always buys all his gifts in November anyway, so does Renee, and Andrew tends to order it all online. So really, there’s no practical reason why they’re here, other than Nicky’s love for the festivities and Erik’s cross-ocean business trip.

So they wander. Nicky bribes Andrew with his weight in sweets, Renee adds a few handmade trinkets to her collection, as well a some decorations for the Fuchsbau Verlag office, and Andrew ends up purchasing a tiny felt donkey he’ll add to Bee’s present.

(It’s a bee-themed teapot. Bee broke hers months ago and has been using a plastic kettle since. The lid has antennas and the whole thing is probably one of the kitchiest objects Andrew has ever seen, so he knows Bee’s going to love it.)

They’re busy buying Würstchen at a snack booth for dinner when Nicky gasps, then starts jumping up and down and pointing at the sky. Andrew follows his gaze absentmindedly, expecting some kind of light display, and feels his whole body become rigid all at once.

It’s not a light display. It’s not even fireworks.

“It’s snowing,” Nicky gushes next to him. “We’re at the Christmas market and it’s snowing!”

And he’s right. There’s no mistaking the fine powder fluttering down into the light from the starless sky above, powdering the pavement like icing sugar. Andrew watches as the first snowflakes touch the ground and instantly disappear, physically unable to tear his gaze away.

It’s like looking into the void. Like vertigo. A part of Andrew desperately wants to look away, but the rest of him is determined to stare, unblinking, as the fear takes over in his guts.

Renee’s voice breaks Andrew out of his spell, making him flinch. “I guess Winter’s early this year.”

The cliff’s edge is gone. Renee stands close to Andrew, smiling softly with sparkling lights eyes and rosy cheeks. A snowflake has caught on her scarf and refuses to melt.

There’s something caught between Andrew’s ribs and it hurts.

Snow doesn’t make a sound as it falls.

They’d had melted snow several times since the end of November. Heavy drops of liquid ice that would beat the world into pulp and then vanish, as quickly as they’d arrived. Andrew would listen to them pound against the window with a warm cup of coffee or cocoa cradled in his hands and relish being inside, where it was dry and warm and comfortable.

Where the rain is a hit, however, the snow is a caress. It blankets the world in silence, covering everything with soft whiteness. It crunches harmlessly as you step on it.

But snow doesn’t come alone; ice and frost are never far behind, and those will cut and crush what the snow has mollified. And the wind will yowl, and the cold will burn, and children will laugh as they play in it all.

Andrew is shaking by the time he makes it back to his flat. He’s taken his gloves off to smoke and the tips of his fingers are frozen red, brighter than the flame he had to cup in his hand to light his cigarette. Brighter than the Christmas lights dangling in the air, too.

He doesn’t take his coat off once he makes it inside. Doesn’t even bother with his shoes, and won’t that seem stupid when he’ll have to clean up. He can hear Sir meow at him from the living room, but not the pat-pat-pat of her paws on the floor. There is no sign of King. The space between his ribs grows bigger.

Andrew makes himself walk into the living room.

His two cats are waiting for him there. They meow at him from his desk, walking to the edge but not crossing the distance, attention focused on something else entirely. It’s only after Andrew has made it close enough to pet each of their heads that he forces himself to look up.

Light spills from the streetlights into the room, casting strange shadows on the floor. Upon the window that lets the light in, something glitters.

As soon as Andrew has set his eyes on it the tiny snowflake blooms, tracing the outlines of flowers and stars, and strange geometrical shapes he doesn’t recognise. It’s beautiful. It covers the glass in a layer that’s thin enough that a feeble light can filter through, but it’s not nearly enough to keep Andrew from bumping into a chair on his way to the door.

As he opens the door, his ribcage starts to ache.

There, standing on the railing with his hair flying around his head like a wild crown made of snow, is Neil. His eyes flicker from the window to where Andrew stands and he smiles. It feels like falling.

Andrew focuses on the feeling of cold steel against his skin and clutches the handle tighter in his hand.

Neil says: “Hi,” and floats down onto the balcony. His smile widens again.

Andrew lets go of the handle and unclenches his teeth, willing the pain between his ribs to fuck off.

“You’re early.”

The smile on Neil’s face wilts a little. He shrugs, looking away, and there’s a lie there. “Climate’s changing. Everyone knows that.”

Andrew tilts his head. “Is that so.”

“Yes,” Neil says, and meets his gaze. Andrew almost swallows his own tongue. “But I also didn’t want to wait.”

Andrew takes a step closer, almost entering into Neil’s space. He watches as Neil takes in a sharp breath, eyes flickering down almost too quickly for Andrew to notice. But then Neil looks down again and this time he lingers, dragging his eyes up slowly enough that it’s obvious what he’s asking. Still, he speaks.

“Yes or no?”

Andrew’s answer is a final step forward and a hand to Neil’s neck, bringing him down.

Kissing Neil is like trying to lick lightning. The inside of his mouth is a storm and Andrew can feel every cell of his body rattling with electricity, buzzing with it from his lips down into his chest where it pools, melting the ice between his ribs like dew in the summer. Andrew chases it, this electricity, brings it from Neil’s mouth to his, holds it in the space between his palet and his tongue where it’s warm. He doesn’t care about the cold or the wind anymore - all he’s interested in, all he cares for is right here. Andrew wants to devour him.

Which is why he stops.

A deep breath through his nose and he exhales, lips still brushing against Neil’s. His hands are framing his face, holding him there, and he can feel his warmth seeping into Neil’s skin.

Neil’s eyes are closed. His lashes are white as snow and flutter open slowly, taking flight. A dazed smile grows upon his face as his eyes meet Andrew’s and hold them.

Andrew swallows. “Staring.”

Neil’s smile brightens. He looks breathless and flushed, and way, way too alive for someone who should have died five years ago.

“I wasn’t sure you’d wait.”

“This is my flat.”

Neil rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean,” Neil says, and holds a hand up slowly to his face, letting it hover near one of Andrew’s own, still holding Neil’s cheek. Andrew flicks his gaze back to Neil’s face without moving his hand, so Neil covers it with his. “This. I didn’t know if I could expect this, or even hope. I didn’t know if I was allowed to.”

There is… something in Neil’s eyes that unsettles him, as he says it. A vulnerability he had never noticed before. Andrew steps away from Neil like he’s been burned and shoves his hands into his pockets.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” Neil asks, frowning now.

“I’m not your answer,” Andrew says, biting the words out.

“No. But you’re the one thing I’ve been looking forward to for nine months. So what does that make you?”

Neil’s fist is balled at his side, his right hand clinging tightly to his staff. They stay like this, glaring at each other, until Sir scratches at the balcony door to be let out and Andrew breaks it off.

Neil doesn’t follow inside after him, so Andrew turns around and arches an eyebrow at him until finally he steps inside, shutting the cold air out. King immediately starts rubbing against Neil’s legs, meowing at him to be picked up. Neil crouches down and gathers the ball of fur in his arms, softly smiling down in disbelief as King immediately starts to purr. Then Neil looks up and catches Andrew staring, so he makes his way to the kitchen.

He gets two small pots, fills one with milk and the other with water, and turns the stove on. As the pots heat, he goes to fetch two mugs, and drops three spoons of cocoa powder in his. Neil watches it all from where he’s standing in the middle of the living room, on smile on his as soon as he notices Andrew looking back. Only then, as if he’d been waiting for Andrew’s attention, does he start looking around. Neil takes it all in frantically, avidly, jumping from the carpet to the couch to the coffee table, but lingering upon the desk and the bookcases.

“Those are new,” he says, gesturing at one of the many plants Renee peppered around the apartment in honor of Andrew’s birthday. It’s a maidenhair fern, spilling over a bookshelf from its pot.

“Your sense of observation is noted,” Andrew deadpans.

Neil huffs, smiling still. Andrew distantly wonders what it would take to break it and looks away, letting Neil wander around without his supervision. The water is close to boiling anyway, so he pours it into Neil’s mug, doing the same with his when the milk follows suit. Then he walks up to Neil, who looks away from the bookshelf he was scanning to take the mug and thank him, wrapping both hands around the warmth with a sigh.

“I missed this,” he says, eyes trailing after King as he saunters off, then back up to Andrew’s. “I missed you.”

“It’s just water.” Neil snorts. Andrew takes a sip of his cocoa, mulling the words over in his mouth, and says: “I wrote another book.”

Neil blinks. “What?”

“I wrote a sequel to Der ausweichende Winter.”

Neil blinks again and then grins, a flutter of color brushing his cheeks. “Can I read it?”

Andrew sips at his cocoa again and then turns, walking to his desk where a small package sits, already opened. He takes the book, a test-copy, out, and holds it out for Neil to take. On the cover stands Isa, facing away from the reader, Mia right by his side with a sword in her hands. Isa has his staff, and on his left stands a figure cast in shadows. They’re holding hands.

Neil looks at the cover then at Andrew, then back at the cover when Andrew just stares at him.

“Der Albtraumprinz,” Neil reads out loud. “Mysterious. Is that supposed to be you?”

“I’m not a teenager,” Andrew says, throwing a blank stare at him.

“Neither am I.”

“Good to know.”

Neil huffs, rolling his eyes, but refrains from further comment. He turns the book over, reading the synopsis in silence, then flips it back and opens it. The first few pages he barely even glances at, skimming over the By the same author at Fuchsbau quickly - and then he stops.

Andrew doesn’t need to look over his shoulder to know why. His books rarely have a dedication page, but when they do it’s always on the seventh, right before the actual story starts.

“To the wind that blows the Winter to and fro,” Neil starts reading. “You better come back soon.”

#aftg #andreil #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #nicky hemmick #renee walker #jack frost au #tfc #the foxhole court #aaron minyard #betsy dobson #katelyn #erik klose #nerik #frost bite #when the frost is in bloom part 2 #wulfrann writes #fanfiction

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ninyard · 3 years

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Heeey what do you think was that made Kevin finally leave the nest?

I wrote like a 2k word fic-of-an-answer to this one my friend but I wasn’t vibing with it! So I’m starting again. But same thing as the last draft of this answer; I think about Kevin leaving the nest ALL THE TIME

(“Keep mouthing off like a pair of fucking frogs.” Riko spat in English to them both. When Jean shut the door, “Do you think you’re better than I am?”

“Your ego will kill you someday.” He looked Riko in the eye. “I think you care too much about other people’s success to make yourself look better. You’re building your Court,” Kevin swallowed hard, still trying to hold his head up, gravity failing him as he started to tremble. “But you think it’s just guaranteed you’ll be on it.”)

Mandatory CW for The Breaking Of A Hand and Kevin Has Nothing To Live For. See also: the foxes are foxes and their lives are Fucked Up (suicide mention, overdose mention, panic attacks & drug use)

Okay.

Let’s. Talk. About. Kevin.

Idk if I’m allowed to say that Kevin is an underrated character. I really don’t think I am. But if I was allowed to say that I WOULD. I am so very passionate about Kevin I would absolutely die for him and he’s not even real. So let’s talk about his hand.

Can you even begin to imagine what was going through Kevin’s head that night? It looked like practice, then The Master talking about potential, then Riko is mad, then pain and blood and how do I get out of here? Then is it worth it if my life is over?

I think there probably was a minute where Kevin sat alone, covered in his own blood, just thinking there was no point in being alive anymore. His playing hand didn’t really look like a hand anymore, his life and reputation and everything he had worked for just pumping out of his hand and staining his shirt. He didn’t remember passing out but when he came to Riko was gone, and his body was running on fumes trying to keep the pain from overwhelming his system. He probably threw up, all over the locker room, his blood trickling through the tiles, the echo of his own screams ringing through his ears like a non-stop siren. He probably couldn’t really see properly for a little bit and he probably couldn’t move for a while, either. Riko was a foot shorter than him, but he made up for that difference by channeling every ounce of anger and jealousy he felt for Kevin into his feet to stomp the shit out of Kevin’s hand until he knew he would never play again. Jean found Kevin not long later, maybe a couple minutes, or an hour. Kevin begged him to get Riko out of his room. Jean wrapped Kevin’s hand up as best he could, and promised him to deal with it as long as Kevin was there when he got back. Jean had figured he was a flight risk, and knew if Kevin left, Riko’s French personal punching bag would come in handy to take out all his egotistical frustration on. Kevin promised he’d be there when Jean came back. Jean came back to his jacket and wallet missing, a tiny scrap of paper left on the bed, an almost illegible ‘sorry’ scrawled across it. He burned it in the bathroom sink before Riko could find it.

So Kevin’s in his car, and he’s driving. He doesn’t know where yet, and man, is he a hazard. Twice on his journey he nearly knocked out behind the wheel, his head bobbing as the pain begged his body to sleep. He probably had to pull over a couple times to be sick, or to have a panic attack, or both. I know he went through the stages of grief on that drive to Virginia. He probably turned on his radio at some point and laughed, how ridiculous he looked, how dangerous it was to be driving one handed. It took him double the amount of time it would normally have because he just. Had to keep stopping. There’s no way he made that journey in a solid drive.

But also I think he probably didn’t have a plan before he was driving. He knew the Southeastern district were holding the Christmas banquet that night, but that was a secondary thought. His first worry was getting out of the nest. His second worry was whether he was going to kill himself or not. The reason he didn’t just do it? David. The thing that pulled Kevin back off that metaphorical ledge was Coach David Wymack. The only other people who knew about his moms letter were Tetsuji, Jean and Riko. Kevin knew well that none of them would be calling up to break the news to Wymack if he died, and David would grow old and die without ever having known that Kevin Day was his son. David was the reason he was risking everything on busy streets and highways and whatever roads he drove too fast or too slow on.

So, he’s in Virginia without a plan. He doesn’t know what hotel David’s in, if he’s even still in Virginia, if the foxes even bothered to show up. So he looks at as many hotels as he could find. He narrows down the list by looking at the ones he knew the Class I teams frequented, and he called the all pretending to be David, looking for his rooms number. After the fifth call he found it.

Think about Kevin’s anxiety in the elevator, hand throbbing, not profusely bleeding anymore, but every minute that passes is a percentage off the chances he has at keeping his hand and playing again. His heart is racing, his head heavy, every fibre in his being screaming.

David calls out a “Hold your fucking horses, give me a minute!” when Kevin knocks on his door a second time after his first knock received no answer. David opens the door with Abby just behind him, and his face falls so quickly it could’ve hit the floor.

“Kevin.” He looks him up and down, not yet noticing the t-shirt covered in blood he had wrapped around his hand. “Kevin Day. Mind telling me what the fuck you’re doing here?”

Abby pushes past him to unwrap Kevin’s hand. It must be some nurses instinct, to be instantly drawn to looking for an injury on a person. Kevin pulled it back as gently as he could, looking up and down the hall before asking so quietly it almost couldn’t be heard. “Can I come in?”

David makes small talk with Kevin as he shuts the hotel door behind him. What would he say? What could he possibly say to superstar Kevin Day, who he’d only officially met as a baby, when his mother was alive and he wasn’t destined for Court? He probably tried to make meaningless, awkward small talk until Abby shut him up to ask Kevin what happened. He just started to cry. Small whimpers into chesty, heaving, heavy cries, his body teetering on the edge of a panic attack. David had seen his foxes in bad ways before. He’d seen one of his kids convulsing on a stretcher after an accidental overdose, or a fox who’d choked on their own vomit after an intentional one. He’d seen his foxes in their worst moments, panic attacks and withdrawals, anger and sadness, pulling their hair out and on the brink of death. Something about this was the same but different. When Seth first overdosed on the team it was a cry for help, or when Janie admitted herself to the psych ward for a week, it was because she wanted to try. When Damien asked for a second, and third, and fourth chance David gave it to him because that was what Foxes deserved. It took him a moment of watching Kevin heave, snot and spit running down his chin, his hair falling over his face, his body shaking with anxiety, to remember that Kevin wasn’t a fox. Kevin was a Raven, and by god, that was so much worse.

I think we all know that Abby cares for her foxes like she’s their mother, but Kevin is just different. Abby had been seeing David long enough to know how much Kayleigh Day had really meant to him, and how much it hurt to watch Kevin do her proud. Now Kevin was sitting in front of her, his hand practically lifeless, his heart pouring out of every place it could. She tried not to look at David’s face as he paced the room, watching her patch up Kevin’s hand as best she could. Kevin only started to calm down when she handed him a bottle of Diazepam and some water.

And then Kevin whispers that Riko did it. David almost didn’t hear him. He nearly asked for him to repeat it until it hit him. Riko did it. Riko smashed the hand of his number two so badly it would take a long time for him to play again, if he even wanted to. Abby sent him a deathly glare when he mumbled to himself; “I’ll kill that little jumped up piece of shit”.

The rest is history; Kevin passes out not long after, David carries him to the bus, and they drive to the stadium to pick up the foxes. Kevin sleeps the rest of the way until the sun is starting to rise and they’re back in South Carolina. Kevin doesn’t stop crying on and off again for a couple days, and Abby had to hold him back from escaping more than once. After watching his anxiety consume him, and when he told her none of the Ravens were allowed to be medicated in any manner, she got him a script for some quick-acting anxiety meds for him to keep. It took him a week of energy-sapping panic attacks before she could convince him to actually take them as he needed them.

David took out a loan five days after Kevin had arrived into his care. He called Edgar Allan on the sixth, and the seventh, and the eighth day. By the ninth day Kevin was released from the grips of Ravens. By the tenth day they had started the process of making Kevin Day a fox. I suppose it’s for the best Riko fucked up his hand so badly, isn’t it? At least it gave him the ability to fit into the eligibility criteria for being a Fox. Welcome to the club, Kevin Day, and prepare to be gravely disappointed.

#KEVIN DAYYYYYYY #mY boy #rambles #Kevin day #David wymack #tfc #aftg #Riko Moriyama #all for the game #the foxhole court

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professionalfangirl24601 · 3 years

Text

Tight-Knit Family

Aftg Falsettos AU, in which Wymack is Marvin, Stuart is Whizzer, Abby is Trina, Betsy is Mendel, Kevin is Jason and Andreil are the lesbians from next door.

Betsy adopted Andrew when he was seven. Then after finding out about Aaron and Nicky she adopted them too.

Nathan killed Mary when she tried running away with Neil. Stuart is a very successful businessman who killed Nathan and adopted Neil. The Moriyamas give permission to Stuart in exchange for him helping them for the next ten years.

Stuart does that from England, but after a while they need him in the US. He brings Neil with him since Neil's still a minor and Stuart's his legal guardian and they stay in Millport, Arizona. Neil goes to school there for a year.

Kayleigh went to Wymack with Kevin one day and told him that Kevin was his son. Then she disappeared and no one heard from her ever again. Wymack married Abby because he thought Kevin needed a mom.

Kevin recruits Neil the same way and he agrees right away. They haven't met before and Neil isn't on the run. He's always loved Exy. The reason he didn't resist going to the US was because of Exy.

It's Neil's second year of college, and everything goes more or less the same way, except Andrew never drugs Neil. There's nothing suspicious about him. He doesn't look at Kevin weirdly, doesn't have a large amount of money in his binder or pictures and articles of Kevin and Riko. He owns a normal amount of clothes and stuff.

The fic starts with Wymack and Abby sitting Kevin down and telling him about the divorce. Abby is bisexual and she has internalized homophobia. She says some homophobic things and they tell Kevin that he'll meet Wymack's boyfriend soon.

Kevin is very dramatic about it. He goes to his dorm and rants to Andrew and Neil about it. He's aroace and doesn't understand why people do stupid things, like breaking a perfectly "happy" family, because of love. He's kinda homophobic too like he believes Wymack was straight and whoever his boyfriend is "turned him gay".

His audience isn't impressed, though. Neil knows about Wymack and Stuart and says that Kevin shouldn't say those things, before meeting the boyfriend. Also, he tells him from experience that if there was no love between Abby and Wymack it was better for everyone that they separated.

Andrew says that you can't "turn" people gay. Also, Andrew and Neil are already together at this point, so they're really the worst possible people for Kevin to vent about it.

Kevin meets Stuart the next day and when he realizes it's Neil's uncle, he gets mad at Neil too. He expects Andrew to support him, but he takes Neil's side. He even refuses to give Kevin a ride to the court, let alone play with him to work through his anger.

Wymack goes to Betsy for therapy. He suggests to Abby that she go too since she's (understandably) very upset about the whole situation. Abby goes and she and Betsy hit it off right away.

Betsy is a terrible therapist. Worse than she's in the books. She's based on Mendel, after all. Abby doesn't notice that, though. So after she finds Kevin playing Exy by himself, she tries very hard to convince Kevin to see Betsy too. Kevin agrees only if Betsy goes to the court.

She goes and Kevin is like 'finally here's someone who'll understand me.' He finds out how wrong he was shortly after. Kevin says how he hates everyone, including Andrew. Betsy tells him that Andrew's her son. Then he says some homophobic things and Betsy's like 'I'm lesbian.' It's very awkward.

Kevin tries to find Kayleigh, but Andrew finds out and tells him that if she abandoned him she doesn't deserve to be his mother.

Kevin's therapy sessions continue because Abby forces him to go.

Abby and Betsy fall in love and decide to get married. Wymack gets angry because they're his therapist and ex-wife. Andrew threatens Abby that if she doesn't treat his mother how she deserves, he'll kill her. Betsy's there too and she laughs it off. She says something like 'they're crazy when they're teens, huh?" Abby says "isn't he 20?" and Betsy laughs like it's a joke.

Wymack overhears it and tells Andrew that he can't threaten Abby with death. Andrew replies that it's above his pay grade because Abby's nothing to him anymore. That hits Wymack hard.

Then the winter banquet arrives and Riko tells Wymack about Stuart's real work. Wymack breaks up with him, because a) Stuart's a danger to his team, and b) he feels like he can't trust Stuart anymore like he doesn't know who Stuart is anymore.

Stuart says that his debt will be paid by the summer. But doesn't mention why it exists in the first place. He goes back to England and takes Neil with him. Before they go Neil tells him about how Stuart got involved with the Moriyamas in the first place. Neil also says that Stuart is more helpful than dangerous when it comes to the Moriyamas. When Riko tried to get him on his team, Stuart made him back off.

Wymack starts to regret breaking up with him, but he doesn't have the time to think about it and lets Stuart go.

Kevin notices how similar Andrew and Wymack's behaviors are when their boyfriends are away. He understands that even though he doesn't feel romantic attraction, he still loves his family and friends. And if romance is what makes them happy, he'll do anything he can to bring it back to them.

So Kevin teams up with Neil and they create a plan. They decide that if Neil convinces Stuart to come with him to the US, Kevin will take it from there and get them back together.

It turns out, Kevin doesn't have to work as hard for that to happen as he imagined. He sneaks Stuart where Wymack is, as though he can see Neil playing Exy better. They don't need any more meddling and get back together.

Betsy starts working as a team therapist. Wymack's not too happy about that at first, but then he sees how much she helps with the Foxes, and starts respecting her for that.

Months pass by and their relationships gradually get better. They play the final game against the Ravens. Kevin and Riko didn't know each other until they were already in college and they're just rivals. Kevin is a better striker than Kevin and he's jealous of him. He can't do anything about it, though. Jean plays for the Trojans from the start.

The Foxes win, of course. When Wymack, Abby, Betsy, and Stuart are celebrating with them in the locker room, Riko somehow gets in there. He says something insulting about them, and Kevin stands up to him and defends his family.

#another long post about aftg musical au?#shocking I know #at first i really wanted to name it Unlikely Lovers because *gestures at the ships*#but the story's not about the couples #It's more Kevin centric and the focus is on family instead of romantic love #I don't really ship Wymack/Stuart and Betsy/Abby #but I couldn't imagine andreil in that situation #it's still ooc for wymack abby stuart and betsy but in a more fun way #i mean it doesn't make me cringe #betsy being a therapist like mendel gives me life #like in real life i'd hate it #but in fiction it's funny #and yeah she's not very good but she's what the Foxes need #like in the books #I wish i could write it but I don't have time :(#aftg #aftg fic idea #aftg au #falsettos

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fors-nat · 5 years

Text

Neil’s kidnapping from Andrew’s perspective

I know you all talked about it a lot. But I am obsessed with Baltimore reunion scene, and what was going on through Andrew’s mind, and I need to get it out of my system. So it means long post Sorry

• So let’s start with their ride to the game. With that ride where Neil asked Andrew to break his promise, to let him fight for himself • That fucker knew that shit was coming; he knew it was day 0 on that sms countdown. He did not know exactly what it was, but still he knew exactly what he was doing • He expected trouble and he did not want Andrew to be hurt in the middle of it • But Andrew doesn’t like breaking promises. Even if people do not want those promises anymore (*COUGH* Aaron *COUGH*) • But, let’s face it, he doesn’t know how to say “no” to Neil • Then Neil asks him to actually try this time at the game and promises that Andrew can have whatever he wants in return • Now, who can say “no” to THAT? • Andrew would never ask anything Neil is not comfortable giving, but still, imagine the possibilities! • So this is what he’s doing (imagining the possibilities) after they win the game and everybody is ecstatic, and then Neil comes in from the shower, pale as a wall • Andrew is the only one who notices that there is something wrong with him • He looks for answers in his face, and there is some sort of complicated emotion, fear, hesitation • And there is also something about his “Thank you, you were amazing” that makes his heart clench painfully • But the “security guards” are rushing them out, and anyway, they will have time to talk on the bus, or on the roof when they’re back • And then there is a riot • Andrew loses sight of Neil for just a second and then he’s – gone

• He tries to catch glimpses of him through the crowd, but he’s short and he can’t see between the bodies • He has to make sure Kevin, Aaron, and Nicky are fine, too • His eyes keep searching for Neil, and as the crowd disperses, he grows more and more anxious • There are police and ambulance, and somebody is telling him to come and get his bruises looked at • He shoves them off, moving through the parking lot, looking into the ambulance cars, and police cars, scanning the crowd • Neil isn’t there • He calls his phone, but he does not pick up • A thought flashes through his mind that breaking their promise meant not only that Andrew doesn’t have to protect Neil anymore, but it also means that Neil doesn’t have to stay. • He is free to run. • He keeps calling and soon hears the familiar ringtone. • There is a short relief • Then terror • Because knowing Neil Josten, finding his bag abandoned in a middle of a parking lot is actually scarier than finding his dead body • Andrew picks up Neil’s phone, flips through his history and sees an incoming call right after the game. He calls the number, but the line is dead • He then flips through his messages and finds the one that says “0” • It takes him a moment to connect the dots – and all his world fills with uncontrollable rage

• The bag and the phone were both messages for Andrew • The abandoned bag meant that he did not go willingly • The abandoned phone meant that he was not calling for help • And “Thank you, you were amazing” meant a goodbye

• Nope • Andrew takes none of that • Fuck the promises or promises to break the promises • He hates him so much • For all his secrets, and all his lies, and for coming every day to the roof and not telling him about the threats, for making him feel again - for everything • He searches the whole parking lot, the entire stadium, over and over, looking for SOMETHING, begging his eidetic memory to be useful for once, to show him something that will tell him which way to follow • Somebody comes looking for him • They haven’t seen Neil too • They see the bag and the racket, they start asking questions • He’s ready to kill whoever’s the closest, blinded by rage and panic • Waymack is the one who drags him to his senses and gets some answers from him • Then there is police, hospital (he still never lets anyone touch him) • Renee takes away the knives when she hears the story • Andrew calls every hospital in the city over and over again in case Neil was delivered somewhere passed out – but there is no news • Kevin is maniacally restringing Neil’s racket, he is all shaking • Andrew thinks that Kevin is thinking of Riko • Was it Riko? • He binge smokes and tries to piece together everything that happened, replaying in his mind everything Neil ever said. • Andrew is afraid, he is so afraid that he doesn’t know how to deal with it, it’s worse than the roof, than the flights, then the falling. It’s way, WAY worse than being afraid for himself. • He decides that next time he sees Neil, he’ll nail him to the wall with his knives and leave him hanging up there until he spills every last one of his secrets • A thought creeps into his mind: “What if there is no next time?” • He chases it away and concentrates on trying to breathe. • Then the Coach gets a call. He takes it in the next room and when he comes back he rushes them on the bus • “Neil?” Andrew asks. “We are coming to get him,” says Coach • When the Foxes start to bombard him with questions, he just threatens to leave them behind and walks away • Andrew is the first one on the bus (clenching Neil’s bag because nobody could take it from him) • For a moment he feels like he can regain his self-control, because no matter what, they are coming to get Neil • However, when Wymack starts the engine, the Foxes all gather around him and start asking • Waymack does not know much except that Neil is in Baltimore for some reason, and the FBI want to see them for questioning • Kevin can’t hide his surprise when he hears that Neil is alive • Andrew glances at his face and it’s suddenly very obvious • “Hey, Kevin,” he says calmly, and Kevin flinches from his voice. “What do you know?” • Kevin tries denying knowing anything, but what he does not understand is that he is of no use to Andrew unless he starts talking NOW • The next thing he knows is Kevin coughing and cowering on the floor between the seats. Lots of hands are dragging Andrew away from him, while Kevin rubs his neck • (Let’s all take this moment to thank Renee for taking Andrew’s knives earlier) • Kevin starts talking in a hoarse voice • And what he says is making Andrew even angrier • Because he knew, he knew, he knew the entire time • Everybody Andrew ever promised to protect betrayed him. Aaron with his girlfriend, Neil with his lies, Kevin with his silence • Waymack has to stop the bus until the Foxes manage to subdue Andrew • Renee pushes him in a seat by the window and sits next to him • She starts talking about random things, trying to distract him, but he’s not listening • He is watching the road ahead and fights with the urge to push the Coach out of the way and get behind the wheel • He wishes to be in his car and floor the gas pedal • He needs to get to Neil faster • Because he hates him SO much • He vows to fucking kill him if he’s still alive by the time he gets to him • He is also willing to sell his soul to Renee’s God or any other entity if they promise to keep Neil alive until he gets to him • It feels like forever to get to Baltimore, and they go straight to the FBI • FBI try to ask their questions, but they are drowned in the ones the Foxes have • Which are all basically “Where is Neil?” • Andrew low key appreciates every single one of the Foxes at this moment, seeing how they are all ready to fight for one of their own • They all fold their arms, declare that they won’t say a word until they can see Neil, and then just glare • Even Aaron says that he can’t remember anyone named Neil Josten, but maybe he’ll remember when he sees one in person • Andrew is not patient though. He wants answers NOW • They tell him he won’t be able to see Neil, that it’s impossible. That it’ll never be possible, that the person named Neil Josten doesn’t even exist • For a split moment Andrew remembers the time when he kind of hoped that it was true, that Neil was just a hallucination, a side effect of the drugs • But now – he can’t stand to hear it • So yeah… that’s where he snaps again • There is yelling and guns clicking, and the only thing stopping Andrew is Waymack’s back suddenly appearing in front of him, between Andrew and the gun, and some other hands are clawing at him, trying to keep him in place, and the touch infuriates him even further • He tears himself free with a violent jerk as he hears Waymack saying that none of them will go anywhere until they see Neil, and none of them will talk until they see Neil • They try to keep reasoning with him and threatening him, but Waymack just shoos the Foxes out and they go back to the bus • Except Andrew wouldn’t go • These are the people who have Neil. Leaving them and “waiting somewhere else” feels counter-productive, so he stays. Obviously. • In the end Abby takes the bus and gets the Foxes to a hotel • Waymack stays with Andrew • They stay there for hours, refusing to answer any questions and insisting to see Neil like wind-up toys that only know one sentence • Finally they get what they want • FBI will bring Neil to a hotel, and the team will have a limited amount of time for their “meet and greet” • They go back to the Foxes and Waymack repeats the story to the rest of the team with all the rules they mentioned • Then they just wait • Soon the FBI come again. The agent says that they will be allowed to see Neil one person at a time • Except Andrew • Who will not be allowed to see him at all because he is way too dangerous to be allowed near such a valuable witness. • Now, I am pretty convinced the ensuing rage outburst is how Andrew actually got his bloody eye and ended up handcuffed to the Coach. • And then they tell the Coach to go move the bus because it attracts attention blah-blah-blah. • And Andrew despite his objections is forced to go with him. • And – what do you know! – what a coincidence! – that’s the exact time Neil arrives. • Andrew realizes it when they go back and he notices all the extra security around the hotel. • So he starts running. • Waymack – bless him – runs too. • They are stopped before the door, and the FBI try to lecture them again or remind the rules, or mention that they are already breaking the “one at a time” rule or whatever • So Andrew slams him into the door • And Waymack who is also fed up helps him push by into the room

• And there he is. • Neil is there.

• And what’s the first thing Andrew sees him do? • That’s right: fighting an FBI agent who’s pulling a loaded gun. • It takes Andrew a moment to fight his way to Neil who is hunched over his bandaged hands in pain. • And the moment Andrew puts his hand on the back of Neil’s neck a wave of relief washes over him – so intense he feels his face twisting in a weird way • Neil is trying to straighten up, so he pushes him down unless he sees it. • He then takes a couple of steadying breaths, blinks a couple of times and kneels beside him. • Andrew is feeling so many things, as he is tugging Neil’s hood off • And for someone who’s used to feeling nothing this is too overwhelming. • Neil is looking at him, his expression is hard to read because of all the bandages, but his eyes are sharp and his stupid mouth is commenting on his bruises, like they are worth any attention at all while Neil himself looks barely recognizable. • Andrew starts peeling the bandages off Neil’s face the same way he’s been peeling lies and secrets from him for the last year. • Seeing his wounds is like a punch in the gut • It takes him some time to process what he sees • He thinks that he will kill whoever did that • He thinks that this was the very thing Neil was running from. • He thinks that he took too much upon himself when he promised to protect him. • He thinks that he was not realizing what he was asking him to do when he told him not to run. • He thinks that Neil almost got killed because Andrew did not want him to disappear from his life. • He feels furious and helpless and very-very small. • Neil startles him off this train wreck of thoughts and memories with “I’m sorry”, and Andrew barely catches himself before he hits him. • He needs some outlet for his anger; he wants to hurt someone, to destroy something. • So when the FBI chooses this moment to lecture him on his behavior, Andrew thinks: “Perfect,” and starts to get up to turn this room into a bloody massacre. • Neil’s bandaged hands shoot up to his face, and the fact that he’s not touching him - not really trying to stop him, but ASKING him to stop - is what makes Andrew comply. • He can never say “no” when Neil asks for something. • Nobody ever really asked him. They tried to guilt him into doing something, bribe him, bully him, manipulate… • Nobody ever just asked the way Neil did, and Andrew doesn’t know what to do with it • So he sits down and watches Neil shoot a cold look at the grown men with weapons and the power, he listens to him calling them out on their bullshit and making them do what they are told. • And he thinks that Neil should have been the one to make deals with people and promise them protection • Like the way he fought for Kevin on national TV. • Like he spent two weeks being beaten into a pulp in Evermore to protect Andrew. • Like he chose to get killed instead of putting Foxes in danger. • Like he fought a person with a gun a minute ago. • And he suddenly realizes that nothing matters: the lies, the secrets – any of it. • Different names, ragged clothes, contact lenses, lies about his past – nothing could change who he was as a person. • Andrew suddenly realizes that there is no going back. That he is hopelessly lost to this weird lying exy obsessed junkie with a martyr complex. • It’s scary, but somehow okay. • “The attitude problem was not an act”, he says as the handcuff drops from his hand. • “Am I at ninety four yet?” Neil asks stupidly, as if Andrew’s mind has place for anything else in the entire world. • And then he tells him about Lola, about the dashboard lighter, about his father, and Andrew almost can’t bear to hear it. He can’t bear to hear about people touching him, hurting him. • When Abby tries to intervene he knows that she means well, that she means to help and to heal, but it’s not like he can control himself just yet. • “Get away from us” is not a threat, it’s a warning. He can’t bear to think of anyone else touching Neil right now, and he cannot help it. • But Neil is tugging at his hair demanding his attention, and he draws his gaze back to him when Abby (and the Foxes – just in case) takes a few steps back. • Then Neil’s disfigured face twists in fear and pain and Andrew can hardly make out his voice when he tells him about the witness protection. • “If you tell me to go, I’ll go” he says, probably not knowing how painfully Andrew’s fingers are fisted in his hoodie, not knowing that the only way Andrew will let this happen is over his own and a couple more people’s dead bodies. • “You are not going anywhere” he says, inviting the Foxes to a fight. • And then he just has to watch it unravel…

• Neil invites him to go with him to the FBI like there was something that could have kept Andrew from doing so • He does not think that he can let Neil out of his sight ever again, but that problem will have to be considered later • For now he is just happy to see him exhale when Wymack jokes about the jersey, and Dan tells him to hurry back, and Nicky calls him family, - and that horrible expression leaves Neil’s face as they get into the car and he murmurs his name under his breath

• Andrew makes sure to keep within arm’s reach of Neil at all times as if afraid that he would be snatched away again if he isn’t careful. • When they put them to sleep on cots, Andrew pushes Neil next to the wall and takes a place between him and the door. • He doesn’t sleep though • He is afraid to wake up and find himself alone • Which is a first • He listens quietly to Neil’s testimony, and admires how Neil is good at carefully choosing his words, twisting his way out of tricky questions. • He only interferes when they bring up witness protection again. He makes sure they know the Foxes will give them hell if they try to take Neil away.

• He tries to sleep on the bus, after they’re done with FBI, but keeps waking up to stare at the top of Neil’s head pressed against the window a few seats ahead • He is finally feeling like he regains control, like his world didn’t just shatter to pieces a mere day ago. • But he still feels like he has to look at Neil, just to see that he’s there, or the feeling of reality slips away from his grasp. • They leave each other’s line of vision when they’re back in Fox Tower.

• Andrews room feels like he hasn’t been there in years. His bed is unmade, a book lies open on the pillow with headphones cord in it as a bookmark.

• He wants nothing more but to climb under the blanket, when a sudden need to see Neil again stings him. • He is standing there staring at his bed, trying to be rational and talk himself through it. • Neil is fine. He needs rest. He will see him in the morning. • When Aaron stomps towards him. • He is pissed and he wants answers. • Andrew is not ready to give them yet. He’s tired and he does not know what will happen if he opens his mouth right now. • Also he won’t be able to sleep like this. • He has to see Neil or he’ll literally die. • So Andrew looks Aaron in the eye, grabs his pillow and walks out. • Aaron calls after him, but Andrew slams the door on his way out. • Kevin sighs, scoops his own pillow and follows him. • “I guess it’s a sleepover” Nicky says, as he gets some blankets and his own pillow to follow the rest. • Aaron swears, but follows too • Renee sees them as they all trail into Neil and Matt’s room, and soon the girls join them. • Andrew watches Neil gaze at the Foxes with a tender smile as they pile up on the floor - and he can finally breathe again. • He twists a hem of Neil’s t-shirt around his finger in a way that would let him feel if he moves and closes his eyes • He doesn’t have a wall at his back, but there is Neil at his side, Aaron at the other, Nicky and Kevin somewhere at his feet and even though he knows that Neil is staring at him, he doesn’t waste his breath telling him to stop – as he finally falls asleep.

#aftg #tfc #neil josten #Andrew MinyarD #andreil #the foxes #the foxhole court #all for the game #all for the gay #this has been sitting in my drafts for over 6 months #baltimore reunion scene

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gluupor · 5 years

Note

Okay, first off I have to say that you are one of my favorite fic authors EVER, and most definitely my absolute FAVORITE andreil/aftg author. Your writing and characterization is absolutely AMAZING!!! I also have what I think might be an amazing fic idea for you: an andriel Ladyhawke!au, starring former captain of the guard Andrew who is a wolf by night, and Young Lord Neil who is a hawk or fox by day. And they were cursed by Riko

I haven’t ever actually seen this movie but I have read a stucky ladyhawke au and I skimmed the imdb page, so I’m basically an expert.

Kevin waited until he couldn’t hear any movement in the trees before he stopped pretending to sleep. He had to sneak away while the blond brute—Andrew, he’d finally admitted he was called—wasn’t watching him. He was mildly grateful that Andrew had seen fit to break him out of jail, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what the short yet intimidatingly muscular mercenary wanted with him.

He quickly surveyed the makeshift campsite for the awful raven that Andrew seemed to keep as a pet—a huge bird, as big as a cat, with a vicious-looking beak and unsettlingly intelligent eyes—but the bird had flown off into the surrounding forest at the same time that Andrew had left to patrol at sundown. Not that Kevin could see if the raven had returned in the dark; it could be watching him from the darkness for all he knew. It had spent most of the day perched on the pommel of Andrew’s saddle, sleeping with its head under its wing; it was probably wide awake and hunting.

Kevin had spent the first part of his day trapped in jail and awaiting the public flogging he’d been sentenced to—a sentence he’d received for little more than being a known associate of Prince Riko. He’d had no idea how much animosity the peasant folk in the outlying areas had toward the royal family. Kevin had come to the town looking for refuge, cradling his shattered hand (a parting gift from the livid prince) against his chest, on his way to Palmetto. He’d only found anger and hostility.

The second part of his day had begun with Andrew showing up outside of his jail cell, keys in hand and no sign of the jailer with him. He was dressed all in black and had a massive raven perched on his shoulder. His face was impassive but he held the bearing of a trained guard and Kevin had thought for a wild moment that Riko had sent someone to rescue him. His theory was quickly disabused as Andrew bound him with rope, dragged him out of the jail, and lashed him to a horse, before mounting his own horse and hurrying them out of town. For the rest of the day, Andrew only said three sentences to him.

The first time Kevin managed to get a reaction out of him was when the raven briefly woke and idly circled Kevin a couple times before landing on his shoulder. Kevin tried to shy away from its talons.

“Sit still,” Andrew commanded.

Kevin swallowed nervously and obeyed. The raven peered at him curiously but made no move to peck out his eyes. “You stole this bird,” declared Kevin. All trained ravens belonged to the crown. Andrew didn’t reply. “Otherwise, how is it so well behaved?” pressed Kevin.

At that, Andrew snorted derisively but he still didn’t answer.

“You’re taking a stupid risk,” Kevin warned. “You’ll be flogged for stealing from the crown. The raven must be theirs.”

“No,” said Andrew quietly, “he isn’t. They only think he is.”

At that the raven quorked and took to the air. He circled above them for several minutes before coming to a rest in front of Andrew again. Andrew stroked its feathers almost reverently.

The only other thing that Kevin heard from him was when they stopped in a clearing for the night. Then he finally learned Andrew’s name and Andrew told him to get some sleep and stay in the campsite.

He didn’t know why Andrew took him or what he was planning on doing with him, but he wasn’t sticking around to find out.

He tiptoed out of camp, making it about three steps into the surrounding trees when he was halted in place by a low, menacing growl. All the hair on his body stood up straight and he narrowly avoided soiling himself as a large, blonde wolf stepped from the shadows into the light from the camp’s crackling campfire. Kevin’s blood ran cold and he took a cautious step back, wondering how long he had before the beast was on him. It was large for a wolf, its hulking shape standing higher than his hip and made of corded muscle.

“I’m pretty sure Andrew warned you to stay here,” said a low, amused voice from behind him.

Kevin whirled, keeping the wolf in his sights, to find a man he’d never seen before had appeared from nowhere and was now sitting on a log next to the fire, poking at it with a stick.

“Wha—Who—How—” he couldn’t gather his wits enough to form a full sentence.

“If you’re not going to sleep, then come sit,” offered the strange man. When Kevin didn’t move at first, he spoke again, more sharply, “Sit, Kevin.”

Kevin dumbly stumbled forward and sunk onto the ground beside the man. The wolf loped after him, brushing by Kevin’s side and making him shiver. The wolf lay at the man’s feet, nudging at the man’s hands.

“Yes, you’re very fearsome,” said the man as he scratched behind the wolf’s ears.

“Who are you?” Kevin managed to stutter.

“I’m Neil,” said the man, his attention still on the wolf, “Andrew’s travelling companion.”

“I didn’t see you before,” protested Kevin, watching with wide eyes as the wolf settled with a huff, eyes falling closed in pleasure at Neil’s ministrations.

“I’m good at camouflaging myself,” said Neil, sounding amused again. “I saw you, though.”

“That’s less comforting than you think.”

“Maybe I wasn’t trying to be comforting.”

Kevin grimaced. “Is that wolf yours?” he asked, still watching it warily.

“He’s his own,” said Neil.

“But he obeys you?”

“Only if I ask nicely,” answered Neil enigmatically. “He won’t let any harm come to me—or you, as long as you cooperate.”

“Cooperate with what?” demanded Kevin, more than ready for some answers.

“You are Lord Kevin Day, formerly the head of Prince Riko’s personal guard, are you not?” asked Neil.

Kevin didn’t reply; his former title hadn’t granted him any favours recently.

Neil didn’t seem to need his confirmation. “You know the layout of Castle Evermore like the back of your hand. You know the way in, guard shifts, secret passages…”

“So what?” asked Kevin suspiciously, already seeing where this was going. Riko might have turned on him but he wasn’t about to betray the rest of the royal family.

“So we need to get in.”

“Why?”

Neil only smiled at him, a sharp, cruel smile that sparked recognition in Kevin’s hindbrain. He’d seen that exact smile before, on an older face that had always terrified him.

“Butcher,” he breathed out.

The wolf was on its feet immediately with a warning growl. Neil tensed before forcibly relaxing. “No,” he said, putting a calming hand on the wolf’s flank.

“But you are, aren’t you?” insisted Kevin. “The son of Lord Nathan Wesninski, the King’s Butcher?”

Neil paused, watching his fingers twine in the wolf’s coat. “I was,” he admitted reluctantly.

“But everyone knows you’re dead!” exclaimed Kevin.

Neil punched him in the shoulder.

“Ow,” muttered Kevin, rubbing it sullenly.

“Does it feel like I’m dead?” asked Neil. “No, I’m very much alive, but go ahead and tell me what ‘everybody knows’.”

“You were betrothed to Prince Riko,” started Kevin when it became clear that Neil was serious in his request, “but one of your guards fell in love with you. When you made it clear that you loved only Riko, he…didn’t take no for an answer.” The wolf, who had settled down after his aggression, started growling again. Neil shushed it and stroked its head. “He, uh,” Kevin cleared his throat awkwardly, “he killed you and then himself so that Riko could never have you.”

“And this is what everyone knows?” said Neil dryly. “Riko has more imagination than I suspected. It is true that my guard fell in love with me—but I fell in love with him right back.” The wolf hmphed contentedly and laid its giant head across Neil’s lap. “And I never felt anything but contempt for Riko; who could?”

Kevin felt almost compelled to argue, before he stretched out his wounded hand and kept silent. “So you ran away? You and your guard? Where is he?”

Neil gave him a look that made him feel two inches tall. “You remember Andrew, right? Blond guy, broke you out of jail today?”

“Oh,” said Kevin stupidly. He couldn’t imagine Andrew as the dashing hero that had caused Nathan Wesninski’s only son to run away in a fit of love.

Neil rolled his eyes. “And we didn’t quite get away unscathed. Riko had his revenge.”

“He does that,” said Kevin in a strangled voice.

“What do you know about curses?” asked Neil.

Kevin started at the seeming non-sequitur. “Not much.”

“Did you know that the easiest way to break a curse is to kill the caster?”

“I—” Kevin cut himself off, realization hitting him. “That’s why you want to break into Castle Evermore. That’s why you need me; I know how to get to Riko’s chambers. He put you under some kind of curse? Is that why I couldn’t see you before?”

“Yes.”

“I won’t do it,” declared Kevin. “I won’t go back there, ever. For any reason.”

Neil hummed thoughtfully. “Where were you going?” he asked.

“What?”

“When you were sneaking out of camp, where were you going? Or were you just going to wander aimlessly?”

“I…I was going to Palmetto,” admitted Kevin. “Lord Wymack will give me sanctuary.”

“Alright then,” said Neil, leaning forward. His eyes glittered in the light from the fire. “We have a deal for you. Get us into Castle Evermore and we’ll protect you. No one will hurt you ever again. And once we’re finished, we’ll deliver you safely to Palmetto.”

“…What if I say no?” asked Kevin.

The wolf lifted its head and gave Kevin what appeared to be a grin, showing all its pointy teeth.

“Wouldn’t you rather be on our side?” asked Neil lightly.

“Are you sure Andrew will agree? Where is he, anyway?”

Neil grinned and looked down at the wolf. “He’s around. He’s protecting the camp. And he’ll protect you, if you agree to our deal.”

“And the wolf? He won’t hurt me?”

“You’re safe from the wolf and the raven as well.” There was something in his voice that Kevin couldn’t identify. “As long as you help us.”

“Help you kill the prince,” Kevin pointed out.

“Do you have a problem with that?”

He would have, up until very recently. But Riko had become increasingly erratic ever since his betrothed had been killed (or run away, apparently) and was becoming a danger to all around him. Kevin’s own injury had occurred as he’d tried to curb the prince from murdering innocents. In his heart of hearts, Kevin knew he had to be stopped. He shook his head once. “I’ll help you,” he whispered.

“Good,” said Neil, looking pleased. “You should get some rest; I’ll keep watch.” His words seemed to be more aimed at the wolf than at Kevin, but that was absurd. Kevin was probably just imagining things after his hectic day.

“Okay,” he said, standing and brushing himself off. “Goodnight,” he said around a yawn.

“Sleep,” said Neil. “We have a long road ahead of us.”

#aftg #tfc #andreil #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #my fic #bits #cw allusion to rape #cw allusion to murder #cw allusion to suicide #anon #asks

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fallingin-like · 4 years

Text

november 23

the real folk blues by @annawrites [requested by @allforthebee]

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!

this absolutely amazing and captivating fic that has the foxes as space bounty hunters and neil who is, as usual, and exceptionally skilled runaway. set away some time to read this fic as soon as possible, because once you start, you won’t be able to put it down until you finish.

this is such an entertaining, fun fic and you did an amazing job at balancing the softer moments with intense, action-packed scenes. at all times i was fully immersed in the story, you handled everything so well. i’m always a fan of your writing, so it’s not a surprised that i had a wonderful experience rereading this.

bits that stood out to me:

”counting stars has become a habit, something to subdue the memories” ah this is really cute and i can totally imagine canon andrew, lying on the roof of some building counting stars instead of trying to sleep

”renee cracks a chicken bone smile in the corner of her mouth” i have never heard this phrase before but i love it!

”there’s a collective intake of breath - andrew, who remembers every single bounty ever placed, can’t remember it ever being this big” for some reason, i love when this kind of thing happens. it feels so cool, knowing someone wants that character that bad and gets me excited for what kind of skills the hunted person has, to be able to evade the people looking for them (reminds me of john wick lol)

”nathaniel wesninski alias neil josten is a hacker, con artist, engineer and pilot” BLESS HIM FOR BEING SO CAPABLE AND SKILLED

matt’s infamous bell peppers and beef with no beef!!! that’s funny and i think about it surprisingly often

”renee pulls up a few more photographs of neil wesninski on the hologram screen. she deals them out like cards until they fan out in a neat timeline of faded hoodies and various iterations of the same polished smile, a mouth sharpened to cutting perfection… the eyes, in contrast, look consistently hunted” holograms and just this space tech is SO cool. i love seeing how the foxes view neil before they meet him. it’s interesting how many sightings they have of him, but also how blank he seems, when we all know that there’s so much personality under that surface

”the ISSP are a bunch of corrupt, incompetent idiots” LOL

”’tone down the optimism, day,’ andrew drawls. ‘we might start overestimating our chances’” agh i love your characterization of all of these characters and this is a great example of why! and i like that you used drawls, it feels very andrew-like

”andrew waggles his fingers lazily in the air” yeah this is andrew

woah i have never seen the art for this fic (i guess because i have the fic downloaded and i just read that version instead of going on ao3, the pictures must not have downloaded) but it’s great!

gasp, i love the idea of the foxes Dressed Up

ALLISON BEING BANNED FROM PLAYING!! “her former alias - lady luck, also known as poker alice” oh this is great. for some reason, them having reputations like this really excites me

”it’s in my blind spot” ANDREW this is so funny

ahhhh i can’t believE you added the “better luck next time” line in!!

okay so the whole action part of this scene is so intense, love andrew throwing the poker chip as a diversion, and neil pretending to give up for a moment before ACTIVATING HIS ARMED SHIP AND SHOOTING EVERYONE. ugh, hearing about neil being so good at what he does (steering, hacking, while taking off his jacket) makes me love this scene so much

”vowels rolling like a pair of dice” this is so good on its own, but paired with the casino scene that precedes it? stunning

”kevin values his ship, and his life, in that order.” i can imagine. i wonder, is there competitive racing in this au? i can imagine kevin being obsessed with that

thank goodness riko is dead, one less thing (on a list of many things) to worry about. whoop and i see that easthaven has passed, good.

KEVIN DAY WITH A METAL ARM AND A TRANSMITTER PLATE THAT COVERS HIS TATTOO YEAH

oh dang limb regrowth tech in this au? wild

”’minyard and the monster, how lovely to see you again.’ neil greets him through the once more hijacked comm. they’ve been playing this game for weeks now, racing each other across the milky way like starved lovers. even allison is starting to run out of lewd jokes” i find it so interesting hearing about this relationship that’s being built between them even though they basically never meet in person, the joking from neil’s side

these hints of andrew’s eye mods are really great, i definitely didn’t notice them as much as i should have when i first read this fic, but every time after that, i appreciate little details like these more and more

RENEE WITH A KATANA YES PLEASE

”andrew shakes off the last dregs of sunday sleepiness that cling to his lips like the skin on warm milk. neil wesninski might have become a game by now, but the malcolms still mean business” ohhh boy, even knowing what comes next i get nervous hearing this. i love the contrast between the softness of what sundays mean with the conflict to come, especially when you jump right into the action

”renee pants, her voice cool and slippery like broken tiles amid the crackle of static” oh i love this description

LOL i can’t believe that andrew got matt’s dessert rations and gets to invite neil to be a part of their crew

”missions are slow and neil’s face keeps showing up on big shot, though not for lack of people trying to hunt him down.” i don’t know why but i really like this!! you go, neil!

oh oh thank you so much for the way that you describe neil alone on his ship, his hoodies, gloves, “one sad-looking sock”, “the one sock he’s wearing has holes”, talking to himself, “yet he’s still inexplicably trying to shield his robots from andrew’s gun” so cute!

”eyes like the gleaming insides of a wire in the dark” this!!!!

the! cats! neil made his robots cats!!

NEIL HACKING INTO THEIR COMMS I LOVE HIM

”neil is like a live fish under his hands, constantly wriggling and sliding out of his grip, fingers twitching back toward his abandoned project like flies caught in a spiderweb” ahh squirmy neil is super cute, “neil shivers under the touch like he’s not used to being touched at all” this doesn’t surprise me. even if i didn’t have an idea of what his childhood might have been like (with mary and nathan, i imagine there was not very much affection), he’s probably been alone for so long, when would the last time someone would have touched him? i don’t think i would be able to handle it

ahh barefoot neil is always cute

SCARS no matter how many fics i read, i always love moments when neil’s scars are revealed

NEIL RUNNING LAPS IN HIS TINY SHORTS AROUND AND AROUND AHH

”neil slinks into the room late, looking tousled and a little sticky around the edges like he’s just woken up from a nap. he freezes when he sees andrew, stuck standing right in the middle of the projection, and only moves when dan throws a cushion at him” your writing actually paints scenes in my head which for me, a person really bad at visualizing things, is really impressive. it makes the experiences of reading exponentially more interesting, and doesn’t happen that often.

renee as praying mantis!! what a perfect nickname. is she religious in this au as well? i can’t remember if any religions even exist in this au (whoops i know nothing about cowboy bebop)

”she looks stiff and faded like old newspaper in the light of the kitchen lamps” what a gem of a sentence

me: sees the nickname gorilla and gets excited because i know some action is going to go down

”the three of them would just about reach his head if renee sat on andrew’s shoulders and lifted neil up” THIS IS AMAZING. i mean, andrew and neil are tiny but they are not that tiny

”andrew begins tonelessly, tracing patterns into neil’s skin” if we ignore the fact that andrew is telling a terrible terrible story, this is so soft

”his breathing is viscous now, like syrup in his lungs. his left eye aches and the corner of his mouth twitches painfully into the ghost of a manic grin. he bites his tongue and it tastes like the word please” i am speechless but i really wanted to acknowledge this sentences lakjsdf

NEIL WINNING THE BET ABOUT BEING ABLE TO STEAL THINGS FROM THE VENDOR AND ROBBING THE MAN JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING. uGH you do such a good job of integrating humour like this into your story and having it fit the tone and pacing of the fic effortlessly.

excuse me how is it possible that you followed such a lighthearted scene with something so devastating as andrew explaining his past to allison and neil and have it still flow??? “because… i did not mean for you to get hurt” ANDREW YOU’RE SO GOOD

”he’s smoking outside and watching the dusk unfurl like an exotic flower when there’s a crash inside the store” this description is so gorgeous

what in the world, andrew i don’t even know how to describe you. he really just helps catch the robbers with his headphones on while choosing things to buy, killing a dude, then checking out, no big deal???? i understand neil’s attraction to him a little bit more now…

andrew and renee sharing clothes is now canon, please and thank you

oh no, lola is Bad News, especially when it comes to threatening neil’s family

NEIL PACKING ANDREW’S LEATHER JACKET AHH

”the bebop crew are basically overgrown children and react very well to the little sugary rewards for good behaviour” yeah this is very true haha

”’your blatant flirting woke me up,’ matt grins weakly. ‘can i have a lollipop too, neil?” i remember this whole scene so well, the second the infirmary was mentioned i knew it was lollipop time. matt, is basically how i feel right now HAH

woah wymack taking care of bonsai trees? i didn’t know i needed that in my life so badly. just like neil and the twins, so tiny :’)

uhm so, the tape that nicky sent to andrew? it’s actually making me cry (which is super rare for fics) “i hope you know that i love you”, “things aren’t so easy at the moment, and maybe they still aren’t easy for you watching this ten years from now, but i’ll always be there for you, and for aaron, too. i hope that one day we can be a family. happy birthday, my little piyoko, don’t eat all the cake by yourself!” i love this so much, and it makes me so sad and happy. this nicky is so good, and as much as i think andrew needed to see this, i think that i needed to read this more. thank you

nicky calling the twins his little piyokos, his lucky birds ;-;

the reunion scenes are so good, i really don’t think i can write anything that sufficiently describes how i feel. the way that nicky acts, the new relatives, older aaron, it all feels so right, so real.

andrea minyard deserves her own bullet point

neil just goes and makes all the police ships crash by controlling them remotely just for andrew to be hit by a moon rock?!?!?

”something irritatingly warm rises and swells inside andrew like yeast dough and he plunges his fists into it and kneads it into submission, twists it until all that remains is sticky, frothy anger” and “andrew sits down on a crate and prods at the yeasty mass still fermenting in his insides. the sudden bloating of anger has subsided to the usual starchy nothingness, but there’s a sugary residue of unease that he doesn’t want to examine any further right now” as much as i adore your jokes and beautiful descriptions of scenes, sentences like these ones that blow me away completely are why you’re one of my favourite fanfic authors. these are the kinds of sentences that i carry with me even after i am finished reading

”i can’t decide if you two are more like toddlers or like an old married couple… either way, it’s really bizarre to see andrew having feelings other than hate and destruction” LOL

thea is the coolest person ever

”kevin makes a noise like a dying dog” me too, kevin

NONONONONO ICHIROU AND JEAN AND EASTHAVEN

thank goodness neil is here

apparently i am very fond of the words “juice pack” and think it is cute. why? i also do not know

huh, riko naming his identity kevin king?? feels… not good

oh boy, lola is back

ANDREW CAN PICK OPEN HIS HANDCUFFS THANK YOU FOR THIS

is it bad if i am happy that all these people are dying (proust, lola, etc.)

NEIL AMPUTATES NATHAN’S HAND WITH A CLEAVER WHILE HE’S HOLDING A CLEAVER AND THEN KILLS HIM LDKSJFLK

oh dang, it’s stuart (i trust him)

andrew’s eye! thank goodness, because although it kind of sucks, it also Really Does Not Suck

”it’s stiff and awkward and neil quickly wriggles out of it. kevin must be really shaken up, because he tries andrew next. andrew waits passively until he’s close and then steps to the side at the last moment, smothering his amusement in a cough when kevin walks straight into the wall with open arms. serves him right for thinking even for a second that andrew would let him” LOL i love you, anna, so so much

money!! woohoooooo (or should i say woolonghooo okay sorry that’s like the world’s worst pun)

BELL PEPPERS AND BEEF WITH ACTUAL BEEF AND NO PEPPERS YES! what a great way to bring things full circle, even though it’s small

sweet dumplings filled with fruit? i am intrigued

THE SHIRT

i can’t not acknowledge the bit with the key, neil is too clever for his own good

we finally get to see bee! ugh i love the relationship between bee and andrew

”they may be marks of destruction, but they are still andrew’s; still proof of his existence” yeah (like a good yeah)

interesting about andrew’s memory not being as good without his left eye. does he have eidetic memory in this au? maybe it’s better if he doesn’t

i remember the first time i read this fic, in startling detail. this fic was so good then, and it has been just as good, if not better, every time i have reread it

it’s kind of embarrassing, but one of the things that i remember distinctly (among a lot of other things) is the noodles! reading this fic never fails to make me want to eat instant noodles

so one thing about me is that i am actually really bad at visualizing things. when i read stories, i can never imagine what a character looks like, i just see the feature that is being highlighted at the moment, and the second that sentence ends, that image is gone. like i just have a magnifying glass to someone’s face but i can’t piece together the parts. it makes it so that i often struggle with the visualization of stories. but something about your writing makes it easy for me to pictures scenes happening. everything is so vivid, and real (hence, the instant noodle cravings lol) and i love that so much. it’s so special.

the flow of this fic is amazing, the characterization is incredibly authentic and really helps with carrying the plot. you integrated lighthearted scenes with pure angst and awful things (easthaven) and i’m honestly curious as to the cowboy bebop episodes you took inspiration from. this fic was so well written, you are so skilled at introducing characters, locations, plot points, although i’m not familiar with this universe i wasn’t confused at any point. you explained everything without me noticing. this was just a breathtaking fic. thank you so much for writing this!!

#the real folk blues #aftg fic review #raelle writes

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tfcrp · 4 years

Photo

THE FOXHOLE COURT: MARCH 11-MARCH 17

ONLINE:

“After the death matches cut the field in half, seven teams are left standing: three in the evens bracket, which will send one team onto the semi-finals; and four in the odds bracket, which will send two.”

“Now, in the third round, the Championships stakes are about to change: emphasis now switches to points, with the teams that score the most cumulative points in their third-round games moving on. The teams that score the least will be eliminated. Theoretically, a team can lose both of their games or still move on, or win both of their games and not move on, depending on how the scoring shakes out—though we haven’t seen either of those scenarios play out in some time. But with a Championships season full of shocks and upsets so far, we certainly aren’t ruling anything out.”

“In the evens bracket, the Palmetto State Foxes will get a rematch with the UCLA Bruins this Friday, this time on their home turf; the following week, the Bruins and the DePaul Blue Demons will play each other in Los Angeles; and the week after that it’s the Blue Demons’ turn for home court advantage, as they play the Foxes in Chicago.”

“It’s a steep fight to the finish for the odds bracket, where four teams remain to fight it out. In such a thinned-out field, it’s impossible to imagine the Edgar Allan Ravens not moving onto the semi-finals—but the question remains, which team will join them? The Ravens will play their first game of the third round this Friday against the UT Longhorns, while the Belmonte Terrapins will take on the Ohio State Buckeyes.”

- COLLEGE EXY ONLINE, “AS DUST SETTLES AFTER DEATH MATCHES, SEVEN TEAMS MOVE ON TO THIRD ROUND.”

“The Palmetto State Foxes and the UCLA Bruins met in the first round of the Championships, where the Foxes won in the shootout. Only a more dismal first round performance by the UC Davis Aggies allowed the Bruins to move on to the death matches, where they earned a surprise shootout victory against the Penn State Lions.”

“The last meeting between these two teams ended in a fistfight—after the final buzzer sounded. For starting the fight in the handshake line, Fox Louis Granger was suspended one game by the ERC, but he’ll be back on the court on Friday—as will Bruin Joe Carmichael, who was on the other side of Granger’s fists.”

“Two Fox players, however, will be missing: striker Leo Duarte, for a red card in the Foxes’ death match against the UNLV Rebels; and Fox goalkeeper and Captain Grant Rollins, who was injured in the same game. According to Fox Coach David Wymack, Rollins will be out for several weeks with an MCL injury, but a few weeks can make all the difference for the Foxes in the Championships. Has Rollins, a fifth year, played his last game as a Fox? We’ll have to wait and see.”

- COLLEGE EXY ONELINE, “FOXES VS. BRUINS: PREVIEW.”

“Did you hear? There’s an Exy game this Friday—no, not that one. We’ve gotten our hands on a Facebook invite from the football team, and it looks like they’re going to be watching the Ravens on Friday night. Now, we don’t like to take sides in a rivalry, but this just seems a little too petty for us. We’re sorry to say it, but cheering for the enemy isn’t going to change the fact that your team flamed out of the playoffs. Do better next time, would you?”

- FOXWATCH, YOUR SOURCE FOR GOSSIP AT PALMETTO STATE UNIVERSITY

ON CAMPUS:

The third round is uncharted territory for the Foxes, and in practice, the emphasis is on one thing and one thing only: scoring. The Foxes will need to score big and score often to secure their place in the semi-finals, and their strikers are feeling the pressure.

Additionally, with the third round schedule revealed, the Foxes have their second third-round game scheduled in the middle of what would have been their Spring Break, meaning that they’ll be on the road to play the Blue Demons while everyone else is at home.

The Foxes have played only one game at home so far in the Championships, and now that they’re home again Fox fever has seemed to take over the Palmetto campus—an embrace the Foxes have never seen from their own school before.

But their bandwagon fans aren’t the only ones taking note of the Foxes’ performance: on Wednesday, March 13, the doors of the Foxhole Court open during the Foxes’ evening practice: for the press, cameras getting footage of the Foxes from a safe distance with none of them made available for comment; but also for the professional scouts in town ahead of Friday’s game, to take a look at the Foxes’ fifth years—even if one of them is on the bench.

On Friday, March 15, Palmetto seems to be packed: more out-of-town fans and alumni than the Foxes have ever seen, all of them wearing orange. And then, when evening comes, it’s time for the third round to begin, time for a rematch against a team they’ve beaten once before.

(OOC information related to the game under the cut)

The results of the game against the Bruins will be posted on Friday night and, in order to put it together, there are a few things I need from you:

Due to the size of the roster, there is a chance that not every player will get to play in every game, so if you want your character not to play in the game (for reasons that could be related to being late to practice, poor performance in practice, mouthing off to Wymack/Grant/Claudia, or any other reason you can think of!) please let me know. With the current size/composition of our roster, I’m looking at having to sit some dealers.

If there’s anything exceptional you want to take place during the game (fights, red cards, injuries, exceptionally poor play, etc.) please let me know, and I’ll do my best to work it in. This will work on a first-come-first-serve basis, if the game is getting too packed with details, you might have to wait for the next one;

After each game, two players will be selected to answer questions from the press. If you want to volunteer your character for press duty, please message me! This will also be on a first-come-first-serve basis. And if you volunteer for press duty, please only do so if you expect to be able to play out the thread with your partner in a timely fashion. And remember, we’re now at a reset! If you’ve done press duty before Championships, feel free to volunteer again, though priority will go to people who have not yet had the opportunity.

Remember, you only have to reach out to me if there’s something very specific you want me to work in!

And, as always, I welcome any feedback!

#tfcupdate #louis granger #leo duarte #grant rollins

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kar3npage · 5 years

Text

Like Real People Do

The Foxes might not be fully supportive of their relationship for a long time, but it slowly becomes obvious that these two sharp boys are incredibly soft for each other. 5 times that Andrew and Neil are soft for each other, and the one time that all of the Foxes see it.

Another 5+1 because I love writing them, and more fluff because I just want Neil and Andrew to be happy. Some of it may be ooc, but who cares? I'm just here to have a good time.

Read on AO3 here

1. The change room is as loud and exuberant as it always is before practice. Kevin was announcing something to the group, though none of them were listening to him, and Matt and Nicky were having a friendly argument over which Hollywood Chris was the best looking. Jack was doing his absolute best to suck up to Kevin, who barely noticed the first year hovering around him. Aaron wasn’t sure what brought his attention to his brother in the first place, since he never was a part of the craziness that usually took over the change room when everyone was in it at the same time. Perhaps it was because Neil wasn’t coming up with any smart comments to Kevin’s speech, or messing around with Matt. No matter the reason, Aaron’s attention was drawn to the corner that held Andrew and Neil. Normally Andrew would be changed already, watching his groups back while they messed around. Today he hadn’t even started changed and Neil was standing beside him with a wrinkle in his brow. Aaron hadn’t noticed a difference in the car, but he wasn’t really paying attention. Plus, he still struggled being able to tell the difference between his brothers different emotions. A part of him hated that Neil was able to read Andrew so easily when he had never gained the skill, and he doubted that he ever will. He caught Neil's eye and raised an eyebrow, tipping his head toward Andrew. Neil shook his head gently. A bad day, then. Aaron moved slightly closer to the corner, until he could hear Neils quiet voice. “You don’t have to be here today if you don’t want to. You know that, right? I’ll keep an eye on Aaron and Kevin.” Aaron held in a scoff. If he needed someone to keep an eye on him, it would be because he was going to murder Neil for his smart mouth, not because he would be in danger. Despite that, Andrew seems to relax a bit at the promise. “What do you need from me?” Neil says gently. He’s half changed already, since he still changes his shirt out in the bathroom. Aaron isn’t sure why, everyone knows he has the scars by now. “Do you want to call Betsy?” Aaron looks up abruptly, waiting for Andrew to pull a knife or something for the assumption that he needed help. He doesn’t though, just slumps toward Neil a bit and shakes his head no. “Okay. Alone time? We can all find a ride back with Matt and Allison.” Neil doesn’t sound pitying or sympathetic, just matter of fact. Aaron is still trying to figure out how Neil knows what to do. He never would have noticed how Andrews eyes seems miles away if no one had mentioned it. Andrew still doesn’t respond, but that doesn’t faze Neil. “Maybe you can set up and organize the bookshelves we got.” To Aarons surprise, Andrew relaxes a bit more and nods. Neil smiles a bit at that. “I’ll keep my phone with me, call me if you need anything. Or Betsy. Or Renee.” Andrew gives Neil a look and he laughs a bit. “Yes, I charged it. I’ll answer if you call.”

There’s a moment where the two have a silent conversation before Andrew grabs closes his locker and walks out of the changeroom.

“Andrew!” Kevin says, sending Neil a frantic look. “You can’t just leave practice!” Andrew leaves, the door clanging behind him. Neil gives Kevin a sharp grin. “Yes he can.” No one is surprised when Jack speaks up. “Just because you’re vice captain doesn’t mean that you get to decide things like that.” If Aaron could get away with strangling the kid, he would have done it ages ago. By the look on Jostens face, he feels the same way. “Yes it does. And if you had the statistics that he does, and had pro teams looking into you already like he does, maybe you would get out of practice every once in a while,” Neil snaps. He will never, ever admit this to anyone, but Aaron thinks that maybe, maybe Josten is actually good for Andrew. He only makes fun of him a few times through practice to thank him.

2. The girls room always feels cozy and calm compared to the rest of the dorms. Renee always decorates it at the beginning of every year and Dan makes sure that everything stays tidy. Maybe that’s why Neil is comfortable enough to go sit in there every once in a while for a haircut and a chat with the girls. Allison will never not be proud of the fact that they’ve been able to get the jumpy striker to trust them enough that she can put scissors near his face without him having a panic attack. Neil is doing better dealing with Jack and the other new recruits than they thought that he would, but he’s still struggling with the constant comments that he’s had to deal with over the past month. Dan and Renee are doing their best to give him advice on how to deal with it himself without Wymack or Dan having to intervene while Allison cuts his hair. Allison breaks in every once in a while to tell him to resort to violence, which makes Renee give her a look of disappointment and makes Neil grin. Allison is nearly done when Neil checks his phone. He reads whatever message was waiting for him, then gives it the smallest, softest smile that Allison has ever seen. It makes her want to hug him. Instead, she just says, “is that Matt? Tell him we’re going for lunch after this.” Neil shakes his head. “No, it’s from Andrew. Look, he sent me a cat video.” He tilts his phone up so the girls can all see the video of a sweet cat being adopted off of the street and taken care of. It starts off as a skinny little mangy thing and ends the video with clear eyes and a soft looking coat of fur. Allison can not imagine blank faced Andrew watching this video in a million years. “That’s sweet Neil. Do you want a pet?” Renee says, smiling. She looks almost smug. “Andrew and I have been talking about getting a cat after grad. It’ll be tough at first, since he’ll be playing pro while I’m still in school and Betsy said that a pet would probably be good for both of us.” There’s a stunned silence in the room. Dan catches Allison’s eye and grins. “Andrew wants a cat?” Dan asks. “We both do, I think.” Neil smiles at the screen again before noticing the quiet that’s enveloped the room. “Why? Do you think that’s a bad idea?” “No! That’s a brilliant idea,” Allison jumps in. “I think we are all just surprised is all. We didn’t picture you or Andrew as pet people,” Renee says gently. Neil looks nervous and fidgets with his phone while he thinks through his answer. “Well, we both thought that it was a good idea for me. To have something that needs looking after, so I don’t have the option of running. And a cat would be good for Andrew because they don’t need as much touch as dogs do. But that isn’t for a while anyway.” Allison tilts Neil’s head up so he looks at her. She understands why all of the upperclassmen have practically adopted Neil, she would kill for the kid if she needed to. Dan looks like she’s going to cry. “That’s a great idea. You better let us name it,” she tells him firmly. Neil laughs while Allison hugs him. “Okay, but you have to tell Andrew that.”

When Neil goes back to his room to grab his coat before they go out for lunch, the three girls smile at each other. Allison hadn’t been fully on board with Neil and Andrews relationship, but hearing Neil talk about the future with hope made her think that maybe Andrew was softer than she realized. They started a bet on when they would get a second cat right there and then.

3. The dorm that Kevin shared with Andrew and Neil was often quiet, so he wasn’t surprised when no noise came from the room when he came home after dinner with Wymack and Abby. He realized why it was so quiet as he walked into the hallway. Neil was sitting on the bathroom counter while Andrew stood between his legs, applying some sort of medicated cream to the scars on his face. Both had a look of absolute concentration on their faces, and neither had noticed that Kevin was back. He was about to leave when Neil spoke. He knew that this was a private moment and he wasn’t invited to be a part of it, but something in Neils voice made him pause. They had spent a lot of time together in the past few years, and Kevin felt almost protective about him. It was the sibling relationship that he had never known before: one that had affection on both sides, one where their arguments never got physical, one where irritating each other was just as fun for the other person. Neil made Kevin want to pull out his hair sometimes, but if anyone else ever said anything bad about him he would make them swallow an Exy racket. “Andrew?” Neil says in a voice that Kevin’s never heard from him before. He sounds like he’s shattering slowly. Andrew pauses what he’s doing and waits for Neil to talk. He’s patient and just watches the redhead while he struggles to come up with the right words. “Do my scars ever… bother you?” Neil starts slowly. “Doesn’t it ever bother you how people stare at us all the time?” Andrew doesn’t answer right away and Kevin has the urge to walk over and yell at Neil to stop being stupid. “This is about the articles.” Andrew finally monotones. That makes more sense. The Foxes had been asked to be a part of a marketing campaign for a new active wear brand. The campaign was hugely popular and successful, but that also means that quite a few naysayers had come out of the woodwork to discuss whether or not Neil’s scars should have been photoshopped out. A few of the articles had been written like they were being supportive (‘Despite the Scars, Starting Striker Neil Josten is still a Looker!’) while others were just plain brutal (‘Should Josten really be the new Face of Exy? We Think Not’). Since Neil rarely payed attention to what others were saying about him, Kevin had assumed that he hadn’t even read most of the articles. “Jack sent a few to me today.” Andrews whole frame tenses for a moment before he turns his attention back to Neil. He puts his hands up to cradle Neils face slowly, then taps the scar on his cheek gently. “I like your scars. They’re yours.” Neil slumps down and closes his eyes, leaning into the touch. Very slowly, Andrew stretches up to kiss the knife scars on his other cheek, then grabs a hand to kiss the burn scars on his knuckles. Kevin decides to spend the night with Aaron and Nicky.

4. The sunset is stunning from the rooftop. The reds and oranges start off vibrant, then fade to a soft pink that bleeds up into the sky. It’s one of those sunsets that takes your breathe away, that makes you think that maybe life is worth all the pain for moments like this. Despite the beauty that’s sitting right in front of her, Renee isn’t paying attention to it. Her and Andrew were supposed to be sparring half an hour ago and when he didn’t show up, she came looking for him. Andrew had been irritable all week and Neil had been spending far more time at the court than he should have been. They were both wearing themselves out, and Renee was hoping that maybe she could help. The roof had been her first and only spot to check. Sure enough, Andrew was sitting with his legs over the side of the building, smoke in hand. Neil was sitting beside him, tension obvious in his frame. “I don’t want to force you into anything, Andrew. If you don’t want this, just tell me,” Neil was saying. He sounded more exhausted than angry. Andrew makes a sound that could only be described as a growl. Neil forges on, ignoring the glare he was getting. “You can’t be with someone just because you feel some sort of... of obligation to be with them.” “You think I feel obligated.” “Don’t you?” They stare at each other, Andrews cigarette completely forgotten. “No, I don’t. You aren’t forcing me into anything. You really think I would let you do that?” “You forced yourself to do lots of things you didn’t want to in order to take care of someone.” Andrew gives Neil a blank look. “I don’t do that anymore. You know that.” “I don’t want you to start again for me.” There’s no life to Neil’s voice. The sky is slowly getting darker, but neither of the boys notice. “I chose you. I keep choosing you. That’s my choice, no one is forcing me into anything.” “Why?” Andrew throws the cigarette down and glares at Neil. “Because I’m happy. You idiot.” Neil smiles and Renee can feel one of her own building. The fact that Andrew admitted to having any sort of feeling is a huge step, and she wishes that he would let her tell him that she was proud of him. “Okay.” Neil says. “Okay.” “I’m happy too.” “Okay.” Andrew lights another cigarette and offers it to Neil, who is still beaming up at him. Renee leaves them to it and leaves a message on Andrews phone to reschedule their session.

5. Matt never would have noticed anything different about the crowd for this game if Kevin hadn’t completely frozen when he entered the arena. One thing about Kevin is that he never tried to hide his feelings. Matt knew that it made Neil mad sometimes, but he secretly thought that the other starting striker could have learnt a thing or two from Kevin. Maybe not with the coping mechanisms, but the fact that he admitted that he needed help was a good thing. It didn’t take long for the team to find out that the one and only Ichirou Moriyama was sitting in the crowd at today’s game. No one knew why, since it wasn’t an important one against an important team. Neil refused to react, but he was particularly aggressive right from the start. They created an impressive point gap at the beginning of the game that only grew from there. Even Andrew put in effort when he was on. It was an easy win. Well, physically it was an easy win. Mentally, it obviously wasn’t. Kevin looked like he wanted to vomit through the entire game, and Wymack took him to Abby as soon as they finished their handshakes. No one could tell that it was affecting Neil until they got to the change room. The mood was unusually somber as they got undressed, despite the win. Even Jack kept his mouth shut and changed out quickly. The room was almost empty, with only Matt, Nicky, Andrew, and Neil left before he started to lose his composure. It started with shaking hands while he was trying to tie his shoes. Matt could see him trembling from where he was standing near Nicky. Andrew was there in an instant, watching Neil carefully. For a while all he can hear is the sound of Neil’s panicked breathing. Andrew kneels in front of him and pulls him down to sit on the bench. Matt can still see the frantic look in his eyes. “I can’t do that again,” Neil chokes out, breath still quick and painful sounding. “You won’t,” Andrew says. “I was resigned to it, to dying, but I can’t do that again. I want to live Andrew,” Neil sound desperate. Matt moves forward without even realizing. He can feel his heart break a little hearing about how Neil had been resigned about dying in his first year here. “You’re not going to go through that again. Listen, Neil-listen to me. I’ve got you.” Matt can feel Nicky at his back, both of them watching the scene like they’re watching a car accident that can’t be avoided. Nicky reaches out and grabs his arm for support. Andrew tugs Neil forward so his head rests on Andrews shoulder. Matt can see his shoulder shuddering but he can’t hear the sharp breaths anymore. “Come on, Nicky,” Matt murmurs under his breath and starts to lead Nicky toward the door. He knows that Neil doesn’t want anyone to witness him falling apart, and Andrew knows how to take care of him. Right before they leave the room he hears Andrew say, “Nothing is going to happen to you. I love you.” It’s so quiet that he almost thinks that he imagined it, but when he turns to look at Nicky and sees the other backliners shocked expression, he knows that Nicky heard it too. Matt allows himself a small smile. Neil will be alright.

+1 The airport is always crazy at this time of the year, and Wymack is seriously considering just telling the Trojans that they won’t be able to make it to the game. He’s exhausted already from trying to keep an eye on all of his Foxes and they only just got there. He’s standing in line for coffee with Neil and Kevin, who are currently arguing about something that Wymack isn’t really paying attention to. When he looks at Neil he can tell that he’s arguing just to get a rise out of Kevin. His eyes are sparkling while Kevin shouts at him. Seeing the two boys so out of their shells makes him happy, even though they are helping give him a headache. Wymack barely notices the chaos behind him at first, not until Neil goes stiff and ignores whatever Kevin had just been ranting about. It’s impossible to tell what’s happening, just that airport security has swarmed the area and people are panicking. They seem mostly safe in the little coffee shop where they’re waiting in line, but the rest of the Foxes could be anywhere. They could be caught up in whatever’s going on over there. “Bomb threats,” someone whispers near him, and just like that people start throwing out ideas as to what could be going wrong. Each whispered theory makes Neil go paler. Kevin gives Wymack a frantic look and moves a step closer to him. Neil looks like he’s going to bolt into the crazed crowd. Wymack gently grips his arm to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, and pulls out his phone with his other hand. “Hello?” Wymack can barely hear Dan over the noise behind her. “Dan, are you with the others?” “Uh, I’ve got Matt, Aaron, Nicky, and the new kids here with me.” “Where are Andrew and Renee?” Neil somehow goes even paler than he had been before. He grabs Wymacks wrist and watches him intently. “They went into one of the little shops near our gate, I think. I’m not sure whats going on, did you see all of the security?” “Yeah. Let me know if you find them. And stick together.” “Okay, we’ll meet you at the gate. Kevin and Neil are okay?” “Yep.” Beside him, Neil is clutching his phone to his ear. According to his tight expression, no one is picking up. It’s almost half an hour later and 20 unanswered phone calls to both Renee and Andrew before the insanity slows down and things start getting into control. Wymack grabs Kevin and Neil and pulls them through the crowd to their gate. He spots Andrew first and can tell the moment that Neil sees him, since he pulls out of his grip and runs over to the gate. Andrew and Neil are staring at each other, probably checking for injuries, by the time that Wymack and Kevin have arrived. The rest of the team is surrounding them, all shouting over each other. Allison has started a betting pool about what caused the chaos. Neil and Andrew are the calm in the middle of the storm. “I was worried about you,” Andrew says with more emotion than Wymack is used to hearing from him. “I was worried about you. You’re not allowed to mock me for not answering my phone anymore.” Neil says. Colour is slowly coming back into his cheeks. “We got stuck in the crowd. I’m sorry Neil,” Renee says from where she’s standing by Allison. Neil doesn’t even glance at her. “Are you okay?” he asks Andrew. Andrew nods. “Can I hug you?” Neil asks. Wymack can just barely hear him over the din of the team, and he doubts that anyone else can hear the two of them. Andrew nods. Neil shifts forward slowly, giving Andrew time to refuse. When Andrew’s hands go around his back to clutch at his hoodie Neil sighs and tucks his head into the joint between Andrews neck and shoulder. One of Andrews hands comes up to the back of Neils neck while the other grabs onto the back of his hoodie. Wymack doesn’t miss the money that changes hands when the others see the two boys, but he doesn’t let anyone interrupt them. After all his team has been through, he thinks that they deserve some happiness.

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