#just stab me next time

[fuvkrutherford]

Brendan Batchelor @BatchHockey

When asked if he’ll have a special message for his players before tonight’s game, Bruce Boudreau says “it’s just another game” before pausing and guffawing.

“Sorry. Well it’s better than crying, right?”

#Canucks @Sportsnet650

#just stab me next time #vancouver canucks

[sunlaire]

rossier ship really is such a trap like haha look at these nice drawings and see these cute quotes haha did you know they danced together on the ice once isn't that cute :)

And then you learn that they were best friends. And crozier didn't say goodbye before leaving on the Franklin expedition. And JCR spent years searching for him. And their letters are full of so much love for each other and they never got to see each other again and "I was limited to 12 lines to speak of his services.  It was hardly possible to say the thousandth part of what I should have like to have said of one I so truly loved." -JCR 1855

#rossier #whatever #just stab me next time it would be less painful #i am personally effected #i really didnt see myself getting into a 200 y/o rpf ship #i really only started shipping it as a haha fun thing because i saw some art of them getting handsy #:'(

[hailsatanacab]

"give me a fandom and a prompt and i'll give you at least five sentences"

Ok then.

Jazz, Danny and Bruce are in the same age range, and Bruce has been harboring a massive crush on 7'foot tall Jazz since just after he began his training journey.

His kids know about and are mercyless. Danny thinks he's a bit of a fruit loop and 100% knows Bruce has a crush on his sister.

Into the future his coworkers find out that batman has been quietly pining after the Ghost Kings sister for years.

Chaos.

love that this reads as a challenge. Ok then. Write it. i will, let's goooo!

(sorry i kinda took it so that Jazz, Danny, and Bruce were all old friends but in that horrible adult way where you can only hang out with each other once in a blue moon when your work schedules miraculously align)

——

"Respectfully, Batman, you can take your "it's not necessary" and you can shove it up your arse. There's a demon the size of a skyscraper heading towards Metropolis and we need reinforcements."

"Superman can—"

"Superman can't. You do remember the part of the report I made telling you this, right? Or did your stubborn little bat brain just shut down when I mentioned magic?"

"Actually," Nightwing interrupts from the side, a shit-eating grin on his face, "I think his brain shut down when you mentioned the Ghost King."

"Nightwing." Batman growls in warning, his jaw clenching so hard Constantine can swear he hears the bones creaking.

Nightwing just snickers, and turns away to press a finger to his ear, no doubt letting the rest of the bat brood in on what's happening here... Whatever that is. All Constantine knows is that Batman is standing between him and fixing this mess for no God-forsaken reason.

Luckily, some of the more reasonable members of the League step in to try and talk some sense into Batman. It gives him some time to calm down.

"Batman. We need him. I know you dislike working with unknowns, but he's our best shot."

It actually looks like Wonder Woman might be getting through to him, Batman even opens his mouth to actually explain some things—a huge step forward for this incredibly emotionally constipated man.

Instead, Nightwing snorts and beats him to it. "Unknowns? More like—"

"Nightwing, please."

"Oh, for Pete's sake, get your head out of your arse and let me do this. The Ghost King is our only hope. I'm summoning him, no matter what you say."

For a long second, Constantine thinks that he'll refuse and he might have to resort to more violent methods of persuasion—which, honestly, Constantine has fantasised about many times during the more boring JL meetings—but eventually, Batman relents and steps out of the way.

"Fine. Nightwing, go check in with Red Robin."

Nightwing has the kind of devious smile that makes John glad he doesn't have kids.

"Oh, don't worry about it, B. Red Robin's coming here. So's Red Hood, I don't need to go anywhere."

"Nightwing—"

"Sh, it's starting." So saying, Nightwing then very obviously ignores Batman's protests with a poker face that even Constantine envies. What he wouldn't give to be able to shut the bat out like that.

The summoning goes quickly, thankfully. The lights flicker, the temperature drops, and the chalk circle erupts in green flames. Standard summoning practices, sure. Even the impromptu appearance of Red Hood and Red Robin—"Did we miss him?", "No, not yet! I got 2:37, what about you guys?"—doesn't throw him off.

It does pique his interest, though. Just what the hell is going on with them? Constantine's weighing up the pros and cons of asking them once all of this is over when the ground splits open and the clawed hand of the Ghost King begins to pull himself out of the ground.

John's a seasoned summoner. It's practically his job, he's done it countless times.

The icey fear that grips his heart, that freezes his breath in his chest, is new.

Pure, unadulterated power floods the area and he feels small, so, so small, like a child playing with things he doesn't understand. When he finally tears his eyes away from the portal, he catches a glimpse of the other magic users in the room, the same horror he feels clear in their faces. Even Captain Marvel stares slackjawed.

The pressure rises, death magic screaming in his ears, almost forcing him to his knees, and suddenly he's not so sure this is a good idea.

Too late to back out now, though.

Sickly green light pours from the crack in the ground, growing brighter and brighter as the giant figure rises, until Constantine has to close his eyes and look away. The last thing he sees are eyes, teeth, horns, a crown so bright that it burns an afterimage into his retinas.

When the light dies down and he opens his eyes again, a humanoid man floats in the centre of the circle. The ground is whole, nothing is burning, the man doesn't even have a crown. Instead, other than the wispy white hair, slightly green skin, and the—you know—floating, the Ghost King appears pretty normal. Huh.

Constantine blinks, rubbing his bleary eyes, and checks around to make sure everyone's okay. Most of the League are doing the same as him, taking fortifying breaths and trying to appear as if they've not just been completely blinded.

Most of them, that is, aside from the Gotham vigilantes.

Batman himself stands upright, arms crossed, looking completely unbothered by the whole thing and John's got to admit, he wishes he could do that, too. That was... a hell of a show.

The others, however, are waving frantically with huge smiles on their faces.

What?

There's a brief, taut silence, as everyone else tries to catch their breath.

As much as he would rather take a bit of a breather, John should probably start making introductions. Unfortunately, he only gets as far as opening his mouth before the Ghost King beats him to it.

"Oh, Ancients, hey guys! It's been forever, how are you? Look at you all, so grown up, wow—Nightwing, buddy, do a flip!"

It doesn't take much to get Nightwing going, and he certainly doesn't leave it at one flip. The whole of the Justice League and Justice League Dark watch with open mouths as Nightwing performs for the Ghost King.

What, and John can't stress this enough, the fuck?

As soon as Nightwing rights himself, Red Hood swats him across the back of the head and calls him a show off.

The Ghost King just laughs as he claps. "There's my little monkey, look at you go! And I'm loving that leather jacket, Hood, is that new? Looks good on you, really your colour. Brings out the red in your helmet."

"Thanks, Uncle D. At least someone around here appreciates fashion."

"Are you kidding me, you know I breathe fashion, need I remind—"

"Need I remind you of the Discowing incident?"

"That was era-appropriate and you know it! Uncle D, tell him it was era-appropriate!"

"It was era-appropriate, but so are crocs and it doesn't make them fashionable." The Ghost King—and holy shit, is this actually the Ghost King? Or did Constantine just accidentally summon a deceased family member, what the fuck is happening here?—turns to look at Red Robin with a smile, resolutely ignorning the argument he created. "How you doing, Double R? You get that tablet Tucker made for you?"

"Yes, thank you! It's so cool, how did he—"

"How's Tucker doing?" Batman interrupts, his hands now hidden underneath his cape.

As soon as the question leaves his lips, everyone groans. Red Robin makes a show of lifting up his wrist and staring at it intently.

"Incredible," Red Hood mutters with a shake of his head.

Even the Ghost King seems put out, rolling his eyes and answering in a flat tone as if he knows Batman isn't interested in what he has to say.

Not for the first time, Constantine feels like he's missing something.

"Tucker's doing very well, thank you for asking."

What follows is the most awkward silence Constantine has ever had the pleasure to be a part of.

All three of the Gotham vigilantes, including the Ghost King, are staring at Batman, waiting for something. Batman's cloak shifts as if he's moving his hands, fidgeting. If Constantine didn't know any better, he'd say he was nervous.

"Good. That's good, I'm glad to hear it."

Instead of saying anything else, the Ghost King just raises his eyebrows and continues to stare at Batman. Has he offended him in some way? Are they all going to die because of this?

After what seems like an agonising few minutes but could only really be a few seconds, Batman's shoulders dip and he takes a breath. "And Jazz?"

They all erupt into shouts, the Ghost King being the loudest. The only thing John can make out is when the Ghost King throws his hand in the air to point at Red Robin with a shout of "Time!"

"1:30.91, we got 1:30.91 on the clock, who's closest?"

"Did you even try to hold it in at all, old man? I'm so disappointed in you. People think you're cool. People think you're suave, I don't understand how they could be so wrong."

"Thank you for that, Hood."

"No, thank you, I won. Again. Because you're so predictable. Actually, I had one minute seventeen, so you held out longer than I thought you would."

Batman pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs loudly.

Constantine feels like doing the same thing.

Whatever. He's going to have to interrupt... whatever this is. There's still a rampaging demon heading their way that they've got to bargain for. He can untangle Batman's personal connection to the Ghost King later. Or he could leave it alone and forget everything about it.

Yeah, he'll do that one.

But before he can actually open his mouth to say anything, the Ghost King, again, beats him to it.

"So, B-Man, did you summon me here for a particular reason, or was it really just so you could ask about Jazz?"

There's a beat of silence before Batman mutters, "I asked about Tucker, too. We've not seen each other in so long, it's only polite."

"And I'm sure you meant it, you're the paragon of manners." The Ghost King nods slow and wide-eyed as if he doesn't believe him at all.

At this point, even Constantine doesn't believe him.

"It has been forever, though." The Ghost King muses, bringing his hand to his chin and folding his legs underneath him. "We should all get together sometime! If you get Alfie to make some of his cookies again, I'll get Clockwork to lend us a pocket dimension where we can spend as much time as we want, deal?"

"It's a deal."

No hesitation at all, incredible.

Hold on. Wait. John has to fight the urge to pinch himself, because this has to be a dream, right? Is Batman actually smiling? He didn't even know he could do that.

An itch niggles at the back of John's mind. He's starting to get an inkling of what's going on here and it's... weird, to say the least.

"Oooh," Nightwing singsongs, like a child in a playground tickled by the very idea of romance.

But then, who's he to judge? John's no stranger to strange bedfellows, that's for sure. Whoever this Jazz is, she must be something incredible—she'd have to be, if Batman can't even go two minutes without asking about her.

"Batman and Jasmine sitting in a tree," Nightwing continues, with both Red Hood and Red Robin joining in for the rest. "K—I—S—S—I—"

"Stop," Batman growls, completely drowned out by the Ghost King's laughter, but...

But.

It all suddenly clicks for John.

The Ghost King Phantom.

Her Royal Highness, Princess Jasmine Phantom.

Jazz.

"Holy shit, mate," John breathes, unable to stop himself as everyone looks his way. "You have the hots for the Princess of the Infinite Realms?"

The Justice League meeting room has never descended into chaos quicker.

#dpxdc #danny phantom crossover #danny phantom x batman #hoooolllyyy mackeral #it was hubris thinking i could keep anything to five sentences really wasn't it? #fucking played myself with that didn't i??? #anyway here's even more words on this i hope you enjoy!! #some things that didn't make it in: #duke doesn't come to see danny because he's too bright when he's in his ghost form and it gives him a migraine - he still plays the game #though and is second closest! #damian is there he's just biding his time. it's become a tradition for damian to try and stab danny whenever he turns up #he hasn't managed it yet but danny keeps encouraging him to try again! you'll get me next time champ! #it infuriates damian to no end - no he's not doing it because he's having fun he legitimately wants to kill him shut up! #danny loves cass so much and when they do all get together they always sit together - it often ends up with cass curling up around danny #ellie turns up every now and then! she's like an honourary wayne at this point #she's always down for any pranks and shenanigans #thank you for the prompt!! it was very fun. as you can see i got rather carried away haha #thank you i hope you enjoyed it!!! #my writing #cab writes

[arsenicflame]

absolutely delicious flavour of edizzy is where theyre Actually Married but neither of them know it, while also being acutely aware of everything-

they celebrated 25 years of their matelotage. they are having sex on the regular. both of them think the other thinks their contract is purely for financial reasons and the sex is just fun + convenience.

#'hes just having sex with /me/ because he knows im not going to stab him in the back (literally)' #meanwhile theyre having the most tender schmoopy sex known to man because theyre both so fucking in love #(not 2 say anything abt the actual sex theyre having they can be as rough as they want itll still be tender because theyre having FEELINGS) #'of course we have a matlotage it'd be silly to not have a financial agreement when our lives are so entwined. whats mine is his' #and at the same time theyre celebrating anniversaries with blowout bashes and gifts and shit and just #theyre so fucking aware of their marriage but theyre SO STUPID about it #'but what if he doesnt like me like that' about the man whos slept next to him for decades #nyxtalks #ofmd #izzy hands #israel hands #edizzy #blackhands #anyway it ends when someone else finally points it out #classic steddyhands set up. eds talking about his relationship with izzy and stedes like 'youre married' 'yeah but not like that' #'absolutely yes like that edward- am i the other woman?????' and it takes a few days and a lot of convincing but they talk about it #and realise oh theyve been real actual married all their lives huh #que more fucking schmoopy sex. hand holding and tears and shit and maybe its a little cringe but its their wedding night ok ????????

[somethingfrog]

He is planning a stabbing

I was drawing a completely different drawing but then got distracted and made this

#mdzs #mdzs fanart #mo dau zu shi #nie huaisang #nie huaisang fan art #grand master of demonic cultivation #mo dau zu shi fan art #he is going to stab someone #i love drawing huaisang #it's just very fun for me #if i missed any detail plz tell me #might give him earrings next time

[valenfield-inspo]

Chris Redfield & Jill Valentine - BSAA Era Moodboard

#valenfield #chris x jill #jill x chris #i took a stab at this #might be kind of amateurish but it's getting me somewhat in the mood to possibly do more down the line #i might do a stars era one next or post re1 one or something #not sure if i'll continue to do it in this same style #i was gonna put it through a collage app but I decided to leave it like this so you could click on the images to view #also i don't think i'll do a 9 box style i just might do 6 next time #keeping this in the ship tags only b/c i am not that confident to put it into the main re/characters tags #it's more of a headcanon/ship indulgent kind of a thing anyway #if that makes any sense #moodboard #aesthetics #crxjvr #my edits

[betchiwilleatyou]

i'd like to give my thanks to natasha lyonne as well as however much money she would like in exchange for her taking photos like this every single day forever

#the hand on the hip is crippling me #like ok lily just stab me with an ice pick next time you'll get the same result #lily rabe #ahs #downtown owl #tell me your secrets #love and death #american horror story #hamish linklater #midnight mass #natasha lyonne

[no-1-rosalind-lang-apologist]

#next time why don’t you just stab me #chloe gong #secret shanghai #foul lady fortune #flf #foul heart huntsman #fhh #silas wu #orion hong #orion and silas

[tomfrogisblue]

I have finally finished O Segredo Na Floresta.

I have cried more than I thought possible.

And I fear I shall never be the same.

#i have discovered that however bad quarentena was - cellbit has tons more angst material ready to unleash when least expected #it was so so so good but my god - i have never felt more empty #you ever see a piece of media and think yeh this is gonna change the way i view certain things forever - yep. #but now i enter the ordem episodes that arent captioned and only have the youtube autotranslate - the final boss for my portuguese knowledge #cellbit #ordem paranormal #this post is sort of my proof to myself when i actually finished the bastard - this season was three billion years long i swear #and still so long to go #cellbit will continue to stab my emotions for many more hours to come!!! #it is very late at night and i am very sad. TIME TO START THE NEXT ONE :D #o segredo na floresta #enigma do medo #bro i need to yell at someone about the last like hour of the damn thing because i have many things to say. or maybe just cry some more #at least my portuguese is much better now lmao. I'll get to a point where i can just listen to an episode with no subtitles if it kills me!! #hopefully cellbit will be back on the qsmp soon to rip my heart out with a cute lil cubito delivering heart wrenching angst for some variety #qsmp #ok sleep time lmao

[gay-otlc]

I'm not crying over the scene with Darren and their dad you're crying over the scene with Darren and their dad

#i think i'm a hard person to love....... just fucking stab me next time #heartbreak high

[xoxoemynn]

I’m supposed to be finishing my lunch and getting back to work but instead I’m thinking about how soft and gentle and reassuring Ed sounded when he told Stede his crew was okay and my entire being just exploded.

That was their first real conversation!!! (Not counting the “you heard of me???” because baby was floating around in another plane of existence both from blood loss and the high of being recognized.)

Their very first conversation and Ed is so loving and soothing. He’s making moves to care for Stede, both physically and emotionally.

Can you imagine what it’s going to be like in the future, now that they’re in love? Can you imagine how Ed will react to the next time Stede is sick or injured? Can you imagine the protectiveness? The tenderness?

Honestly I may just have to call out of work for the afternoon because I’m about to make like Stede after seeing the handsome pirate lover of his dreams standing over him and pass out.

#OFMD #Edward Teach #Stede Bonnet #Ed x Stede #also don't give me 'well next time Ed sees Stede he's going to stab him!!!' bc 1) I genuinely don't think he will #and 2) even if he does we've already seen Ed be super protective of Stede #if he stabs him he'll have someone bring him to bed and then watch over him just like before #only he'll be angsty about it #but anyway I'm feeling a lot of emotions and needed to share thank you and goodbye #emynn.op

[luuney]

i’m home alone right now so why don’t you come over and we’ll invite who we want and then can our naked weapons be out and we duel but you stab me specifically and i watch your back as you run away because that’s what your friend tells you to do and i’m wondering if at any point you’ll turn back to look at me but i realise you’re long out of sight and i curse a plague on your house but what if we were honest and mayhaps what if you stay and hold me in your arms irrespective of what your friends say until the warmth of my blood pouring out onto your palms starts becoming cold

but no you only come back when i’m gone to try to get my friend to join me on my journey because you can’t admit that you don’t want me going alone yet even when i’m lifeless you’re too scared to hold me but you die instead or maybe that’s what you want because in the end we lie on that cold hard stage together as two performers cast in the wrong roles but maybe next time it doesn’t have to be so tragic

everyone in this play seems to run a little too late so i’ll be waiting for you to come over in each of the next eight of your nine lives and we’ll repeat this until we get it right

#it’s always come over im bored and never this #shakespeare #romeo and juliet #tybalt x mercutio #be closer when you stab me next time #i’ll be your sheath wink wonk #mercutio is such a bottom for being impaled #tybalt is such a closeted top running away #mercutio admires those sword skills #the candle that burns twice as bright burns for half as long #you can’t handle the smoke from my wick #blinded but now you’re suffocating #mercutio was so real for this #lol anyway gonna just act like i never thought about mercutio and tybalt #or else i won’t be able to sleep #proceeds to read giovanni’s room again #when you want to be mercutio but you’re just tybalt #i’m just in it for the aesthetics #yeah the house is empty but are you going to impale me or not #this is not a fanfic i swear #literal definition of a fanfic be like #consequences of nine litres of peach iced tea #i’m never touching grass again #actually i will #but no it makes me burn and itch #that’s not an allergy is it #oh no #tycutio #romance #eat me up and lick the plate

[sweet-mothir-of-titaen]

"Oh, I know... I just like seeing Raine"

#why don't you just stab me in the gut next time huh #toh #the owl house #toh spoilers #toh s3 spoilers #for the future #raeda

[altruistic-meme]

pov: you're Abram when he's about to start writing something

#if no one else got me i know the stupid little note at the top of my draft got me #there are many that I've written that are missingfrom this bc i know for sure i wrote one for every chapter of (wit)jitp #but i write each chapter in the same doc and then move and delete them as i work on the next chapter #so at least 10 me have been lost to time :( #also in case this wasn't clear yes i do genuinely do this most of the time when i start writing the actual stories #usually it's if I've been writing notes especially and want to move on the the story instead #but sometimes I'll just open with it lmao #anyone wanna guess at what stories these are all from? fjjsjxjzj #I've posted about several of them... lemme see... #(wit)jitp #wip: laurent stabs damen #wip: i see you you see me #wip: good omens fic #wip: moon fic #that should be all of them #not in order #shh ac #wip: Amaranthus caudatus

[orcelito]

ok SO i went and got out Most of my knives (i remembered I have a nonbinary knife only after i took the photos & also idk where it is currently. just imagine all these plus a nonbinary flag knife ok? ok)

HERE ^ is the most of them, minus that nonbinary knife. look at that fuckin mess. 32 shown here (i think) plus my nonbinary knife makes 33 blades (minus cooking knives, i dont count those for these purposes)(also counting the swiss army knife as only 1 bc lol)

& some explanations for them! gonna put these under a readmore bc it got Kinda long on accident whoops. Read Ahead if u wanna see me nerd out about my knife collection.

STARTING WITH my big ones.

my spear (gifted to me), my cane sword (from anime convention), my shitty $20 sword (also from anime convention. low quality but cool as hell), my teal mini sword + matching throwing knives (from online), my decorative axe (from a local store), my twin blades (my sharpest blades, theyre actually kinda scary how sharp they are, but i love them bc of it. from online), red saber (from online),

ANDDDDDDDDDDDD my favorite hefty bitch of a machete that i sleep with in my bed frame on the very right (inherited from my grandpa bc i was the first one who spotted it at Family Claiming Day)(this thing really is as long as my leg & much heavier than Any of the rest of the blades pictured here. i love it)

another view of the blades so u can better see how long they are. the big boys. they're lovely. 2nd heaviest blade is the cane sword when it's in its cane, mostly bc that handle has some Heft. tbh id feel safer using it as a bludgeoning weapon than a stabbing weapon, but having a cane sword is just plain cool

AND my smaller blades!

i have a lot of pocket knives. starting from the top left: golden pocket knife (from online), rainbow dragon (from online), rainbow HEFTY boy (heaviest pocket knife, from online), spider knife (from online), stiletto jade (from online), pathetic army boy (from local store, this knife has NO redeeming qualities, but it's mine <3), black stiletto (from local store), plain dagger man (from online), my damascus steel knife (was a gift, probably my singular most expensive knife. fancy boy), Dull Dagger Man (first blade i ever bought, from anime convention)

& for bottom row: teeny black knife (first pocket knife i owned, gift from my dad), lil rainbow knife (from local store), plain steel knife (from sketchy shop in gatlinburg + one of my Favorite knives), green dragon knife (from online, a real beaut), triple throwing knives (also from same sketchy shop in gatlinburg), the baby throwing knives again from the Big Boys pic but i included them again bc they r so teeny tiny, my keychain key blade (from online), swiss army knife (from online), & the pair of claw keychain baldes (from online)

many blades, many stories, so little time. theyre great tho.

SOME FOCUSES:

^ these are all my spring-assisted knives, sorted from worst feel to best feel to open. based on quickness, ease, & general satisfaction. leftmost is leftmost bc i didnt even Know it was spring assisted, bc it doesnt have a nice lil tab on the back to press. no u gotta press on one of the rungs. but once u do it Does spring open, so i included it. next 3 are just Average in feel (these 3 are sibling blades anyways, nice of them to be together). jade stiletto is smooth and quick, nice to open. Hefty Boy rainbow has some THUNK to it when i open it. like that babey's got PURPOSE to it. added to the general size of it & it's just pretty great. AND THEN MY TWO FAVS, green dragon is a perfect beautiful knife & feels very great to open. and then Steel Sketchy Knife aka my 2nd pocket knife & first i bought for myself. it looks plain in comparison to the others, but she's anything But. quick, light, Sharp. it has the Best feel to open, bc it's just a fast SHHK. probably my knife that's seen the most use (aside from my small black knife) just bc of how great it feels to open. i love that knife so much for Real.

& the final highlight, somewhat related, are the knives I actually use the most in my daily life!

on the left are the knives I keep in my bag by default, & thus the ones I carry with me Everywhere i go. small black pocket knife bc she's Ol' Faithful, & a pretty lowkey knife for basic tasks when I dont wanna raise any eyebrows lol. silver knife bc as previously stated i Love using it so much. i take it out when i gotta breakdown a lot of boxes at work, & it Never disappoints. small rainbow keychain key knife bc it's cute & i like to keep it on my keychain. & swiss army knife bc Obviously im gonna keep the swiss army knife in my bag for if i need an emergency tool.

on the right are the three knives I keep out in my apartment. black stiletto lives on my bathroom counter, for bathroom knife needs. green stiletto i keep on my table next to where I hang out in my bedroom, for any couch time needs. & then green dragon beaut camps out on top of some shelves by my front door bc it's Great for opening boxes, aka something I will do for packages I receive after pulling them in the front door. it works for me.

all the rest of my knives live either in a box (for small ones) or my closet (for big ones). i may have a lot of knives, but somehow I never feel like i have enough. i just love collecting them so much <3

#speculation nation #knives #what this boils down to are. my favorites are: Big Hefty Machete that i managed to stab myself with on accident #by dropping it point-first on my finger (whoops) #a plain silver knife i got from a sketchy shop in gatlinburg (there really are so many there) that just feels SO good to use #a beautiful green dragon knife bc it's well balanced & feels great to open. also pretty. #black stiletto knife just bc i love how it feels in my hand. it's also very pointy #& small black knife bc she's ol' faithful. & great for using for average shit to not freak people out #(imagine if i brought ol' Hefty Rainbow out w/ its glass breaking base & wonderful hooked blade. ppl would give me Looks for sure) #i love many other knives but those r my favs #if i had to pick an ABSOLUTE fav it'd have to be my machete. it having drawn my blood did Not discourage me from loving it #it feels very uhh. idk it makes me feel secure having it nearby #if for nothing else than someone seeing me wield that & being like 'what the FUCK' bc it's kinda pretty intimidating lol. #long and heavy. wouldnt actually be great for combat bc that thin part between the blade & the hilt could snap the moment you hit bone #but good for me i never intend to use my blades for that! it feels comforting mostly as an intimidation factor. #the comfort being like. if someone broke in lol. that's why i sleep with it in my bed frame. so i can have it onhand Just In Case #aka it's like sleeping with a gun under my pillow except i just keep a massive fucking knife next to me instead. works for me #not the longest of my blades but it's the heaviest of my blades by far. i feel very lucky to own it. #anyways this has been the Knife Ramble by yours truly. this took me like 2 hours to gather & take pictures of & write this summary #APPRECIATE MY WORK at documenting my collection. this is the first time ive done this in several years. #wish i'd found that nonbinary knife first... oh well...