#just saying because i have a lot of unresolved issues and ive been

[zeldasnotes]

”Be grateful for triggers, they show you where you are not free.”

CHIRON NOTES 4

MORE ABOUT CHIRON ➔ CHIRON IN THE HOUSES

• Ive seen Chiron in the 5th house in the charts of people who were involved in a very nasty custody battle.

• Chiron in the 2nd house might feel like everytime they get money some issue pops up so that they have to put money on that. They might get the biggest paycheck they ever got in their life and that same day their car breaks down or their dishwasher breaks so they have to put that extra money into that.

• Chiron rules scars. So of you have Chiron conjunctions your scars might take a very long time to heal.

• Chiron in the 3rd house might have been teased for their accent.

• Be careful with what you say to people with Chiron in the 1st house because its common for people to comment on their appearance. They are just as sensitive as anyone else. People are just way too ruthless with what they say to Chiron 1st housers. I know some people with this placement and ive noticed that people can comment on their appearance when its uncalled for.

• Venus conjunct Chiron gives very outstanding artistic abilities because here the sense of taste is super sensitive.

• Chiron in the 6th house can be very envious of other peoples work. Might experience people who do the exact same job as them getting more clout etc.

• Chiron conjunct Mars in a mans chart can make him feel like hes not ”man enough” while Venus conjunct Chiron can make a woman feel shes not ”feminine enough”. And Im talking feminine and man enough according to societys standards.

• Mercury conjunct Chiron can have a hard time with communication. Some people with this aspect likes to argue and disagree just for the sake of disagreeing. And if Pluto is involved can be very combative with how they write and talk. Chiron can create a need to outdo others where its placed. But it can also result in the opposite, someone whos afraid to speak up. But a lot of times these people can be very: ”Nope you are WRONG! GOTCHA!” (Other aspects to Mercury can change this)

• Chiron Square Neptune can make you daydream too much. Having a sense of reality might be an issue for you which hinders you from getting things done. Dreaming just feels so comfortable.

•How you handle Chiron in synastry depends a lot on how you handle you own natal Chiron wound. Some people can be VERY triggered when someones Chiron touches their Moon while some wont.

• I also think what planet of yours the other persons Chiron is important. I dont want someones Chiron touching my Venus because I do have a lot of unresolved Venus issues within myself. But I have no issues with someones Chiron touching my Moon.

•People with Venus conjunct Chiron no matter how beautiful have this one thing that people commented on during their younger years that can later become an obsession. They might have grown up with acne and later became obsessed with skincare.

• A lot of people with Chiron in the 1st house likes to walk around with sunglasses on so that people cant see if they look insecure and afraid.

• Mars conjunct Chiron in synastry can make you feel healed by the touch of the others body. Seeing or touching eachother can make you go ”wow”.

• Chiron in the 9th might have had to change schools a lot. Or might have just hated school and didnt want to go there.

• Sun aspecting Chiron is common in the charts of people who have a father who left the family. The ”dead beat dad” placement.

©️ 2023 Zeldas Notes

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #sun conjunct chiron #chiron 1st house #birth chart readings #asteroids #venus conjunct chiron

[halfmoth-halfman]

we're starting to get into the spooky months now, so what better way to close out the summer vibes than with a fic rec list!!

unfortunately, the original of this post got messed up through my queue and it left me discouraged and not really with the energy to go all out like i usually do so i apologize if the reviews are a little lackluster this time around, but i did love and adore every single one of these fics 💜

if you wanna see more more of my fic recs and favs, i have em all on my recs blog, here!! please note the navi page is still under construction!!

and of course, if you have any fic recs of your own, feel free to send em my way here or on my sideblog - i love finding new fics and writers!! 💜

Javier Peña

birthday bash || a pile of cards - @mvtthewmurdvck

✧ what else can i say? cute. adorable. perfect. made me feel like it was my birthday, because this was fic was such a gift. i don't know how jo is able to write the cutest and most fun relationship dynamics, but it makes my heart soar every time.

late night texts || iv. before the gold and glimmer | bonus scene: phone sex | v. you make me feel wild | vi. the place where i want to be | bonus scene: wicked games you play | vii. oh the sweetest thing - @mvtthewmurdvck

✧ i will never not be in love with the way jo writes javi, and the absolute beauty of her writing. the way this relationship builds and feels so real with equals parts teasing and the shyness of the first time meeting someone you kinda sorta know always leaves me stunned.

John "Soap" MacTavish

run away to me || i. - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ i'm warning y'all now, hal has spoiled me this month and a lot of the fics on this list are gonna be hers. but to start we're talking about this fantastic fic. blacksmith!soap was not something i knew i needed and i am foaming at the mouth to see where this goes.

soap comforting reader - @nrdmssgs

✧ coming from someone who's had very similar anxieties around meeting a significant other's family, this hit very close to home and was so. damn. sweet. i love this so much and soap being an absolute sweetheart here was just icing on the cake.

John Price

glitter and gold || snippet - @writeforfandoms

✧ i could talk about this fic for hours. not only have i read it about a hundred times, but this fic helped inspire me to start drawing again. one of my top favorite comfort fics, everything about it is perfect. dragon!price being so in love with his wife, princess!reader finding joy and love and freedom with her new husband, the little appearances from the rest of the 141. it's all just perfect.

cardigan || part 1. it starts in a bar - @as-is-above-so-below

✧ price x teacher!reader was a lovely idea that i have been waiting for with baited breath and it did not disappoint. esp this part:

“Believe me. I get it. My career makes it difficult to find time for much of anything.”

“Yeah, well, I have sixteen kids.”

i love sassy teacher!reader.

songs that sound like sea-foam || (ii) | (iii) - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ this fic destroyed me. i had to call my mom and talk to her about it because i loved it so much. idk how to describe it, this filled me with a beautiful sense of longing and nostalgia of the classic fairytales my parents used to read me before bed

all, most, some, none - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ mmkay just one second while i-

lions and ibexes - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ i love husband!price, don't get me wrong, but i think farah was the real star of this fic. her characterization is wonderful, and the talk she and reader have is so sad (for lack of a better word) but also hopeful and real. i want to have a love the way hal writes it in her fics.

late night cookies - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ perfect dad!price fic right here. really hit me right in the unresolved daddy issues. good job.

where did you sleep last night - @captainfern

✧ i might just be a sucker for pet names like my love and darling, but this was so unbelievably sweet. reader missing price so much that they light one of his cigars just for the familiar smell of him?? i'm aldkasjl i love this so much.

glory to the reaper - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ the ability of hal to just present us with pure poetry like it's no big deal is just ugh chef's kiss. like all of this here:

How can life go on when such things are uttered to light? When they’re buried deep into your marrow like the dirt on top of a grave? 

How can the Reaper knock at your doorways when love exists in such quantity…in the fractures of his eyes? Only when his lips brush yours do you understand.

absolutely stunning.

ducky socks - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ dad!price strikes again by breaking my heart in the best possible way and gluing it back together with pure sweetness and a wholesome father-daughter relationship.

Keegan P. Russ

for the weak and weary - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ i am of a simple mind. i see hal has written a keegan fic, i drop everything and read the keegan fic, i sob uncontrollably and struggle to read through my tears, i scroll back up to the top and read again.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

some nights are like that - @deadbranch

✧ insert ohmygod they were roommates meme here. i love gaz, i love friends to lovers, i love roommates to lovers, i love everything about this fic. it's cute, it's sweet, it made me giggle. 10/10 will read again.

cult of vagabonds || chapter six: storm-flying petrels - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ i crave this series like something else let me tell you, and each chapter completely delivers. reader is somehow so frustrating and so relatable at the same time, no regard for her own life but also...same.

to be in love - @lethalchiralium

✧ am i biased because i requested this? yes. but also because this is cute and wholesome and perfect and the idea of gaz buying flowers for his crush makes me smile like an idiot and keri did a perfect job with this.

paper rings - @lethalchiralium

✧ this is me staring at keri after she's written one of the most perfect gaz prompts i've ever read and giving me the cutest, sweetest, most wholesome treat.

get behind me - @writeforfandoms

✧ i love fall fair stuff. corn mazes, haunted houses, bobbing for apples, all of it. and it's even better with the addition of gaz. soap being a little shit had me laughing, but gaz being such a sweetheart (and a little bit of a tease) just had my smiling and giggling to myself.

there’s no need to panic, i’m right here now, aren’t i? you’re safe - @writeforfandoms

✧ gaz is the best boi and even more so when jen writes him. i love the way she portrays him being so soft and comforting, but also not afraid to take care of problems for his significant other. and, as someone who's had loud neighbors, i wish i had gaz there to take care of them for me too 😭

Miguel O'Hara

glass houses - @lethal-chiralium

✧ actual picture of me pretending to be okay after reading this and having my heart shATTERED INTO A MILLION PIECES HOW DARE YOU KERI

welcome to new york || 3 | 4 - @writeforfandoms

✧ i consume these chapters as if they're a decadent slice of cake made just for me and they're so fucking delicious every time. i love lyla and jess in this fic (i love everyone in this fic tbh, but i gotta support the girlies) and this part right here:

(Note to self: bring a sweater.)

literally me. i love this so much and can't wait see where it goes.

hammock by the sea - @wyvernest

✧ the way this fic made me want to enjoy a sunny july afternoon on my honeymoon with miguel in a hammock soooo bad. idk if feel-good can be used to describe a fic, but that's how i feel about this one. it's a feel-good fic, makes me soft and happy and wistful.

spider-girl!reader|| you haven't kissed me all day | jealous miguel | saying i love you for the first time - @luveline

✧ luveline never misses with the miguel fics. every single one is A+ 10/10 chef's kiss. the domesticity while also keeping miguel his grumpy self is just lakdjaksl i'm so weak for luveline's fics and her portrayal of miguel.

Multi

dead disco || chapter 6 - @peachesofteal

✧ i really gotta read this series in small doses, because the way it makes my heart ache cannot be healthy. i just want everything to work out, for them to be happy but goddamn does peach want me to suffer (and i happily thank her for it)

how do they cuddle - @homicidal-slvt

✧ this has any and everyone in it, but more importantly it has my boys, gaz and roach and that's all that matters to me. gaz being the type to do a little kiss attack is so cute and something i can see him doing and roach tracing little shapes and letters i'm screaming. also graves being an absolute menace, you're so right for that.

Nikto

ravishing allure || prologue | cake for a dead man (i) -@halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ do i know who nikto is? not in the slightest. did that stop me from dropping everything to read this series? not in the slightest. will i ever be normal about one of hal's amazing fics? not in the slightest :)

Phillip Graves

close your eyes for me, love - @writeforfandoms

✧ protective graves just does something for me. like, of course, he's a little shit and all that, but, as we've seen in canon, that man is loyal to a fault so it makes sense that loyalty would extend to his significant other. and also the way jen writes him just makes me blush and giggle so that's a plus 🤭

Rodolfo Parra

pressing their foreheads together - @writeforfandoms

✧ i read Warnings: soft domestic fluff and kissing. and knew this fic was gonna be made for me. and i was right. this fic made me sigh longingly. i am so astronomically weak for the way jen writes this man and the way she writes soft domesticity.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

the safe house has seen better days - @ghostaholics

✧ how does it feel to have such a perfect understanding of a character and then create such a gorgeous fic on top of that??

Always staying awake, always assigning himself to the graveyard shift for watch while everyone else squeezes in a few hours of rest before the sun comes up.

i am in awe of ms. ghostaholics and her beautiful ability to turn characterization into pure poetry.

hired as a live-in house cleaner - @ceilidho

✧ i👏🏼love👏🏼this👏🏼fic👏🏼 this turned me into a big ol' soft pile of hearts and mush ugghh just the perfect amount of fluff. very cute but subtle too and y'know i think that fits ghost pretty well.

the team is invited to a wedding - @rileyslibrary

✧ one thing about me: i love a wedding. and this fic right here? absolutely delivered. it's got everything: ghost, gaz cameo, a wedding, macarons. not to mention the A+ banter between ghost and reader, i love them and this fic so much.

happiness || white carnations - @lethal-chiralium

✧ happiness hurts in a way that leaves me somehow longing for more and i can't describe it any other way. i think keri is determined to figure out how many different ways she can break my heart with angst and fluff and i couldn't be more thankful.

circles and squares - @mvtthewmurdvck

✧ i know i gushed about this fic already, but i'm gonna do it again. the best way to describe my feelings about this is that i would dedicate an entire section of my bookshelf just for jo's writing. the way she perfectly balances the differences between ghost and simon. the way he's stern and struggles, but doesn't lose his snark. the way he and reader support each other while still respecting each other and they're need for space. i'm so weak for this fic.

on the edge of the universe - @kil-g

✧ it's the world-building for me. it's the captivating atmosphere for me. there's just something so beautifully haunting here, and i am desperately clinging to every little piece of it. like i'm already feral for everything isa writes, and this is another excellent addition to the collection.

civ!reader kills someone out of self defense for the first time - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ had me hooked from the opening line and man was i on edge the rest of the time. i was panicking right there alongside reader, and the portrayal of her confusion and fear and anxiety was so well done. and ghost coming in to comfort her?? i was crying. so unbelievably good.

badly wrapped secrets - @mvtthewmurdvck

✧ i just-

"Thank you, for all of this.

He nods—short, and full of understanding, as well as signalling: you’re welcome."

i love them so much 😭

blood was its avatar - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ i was fighting for my life trying to read this without blushing like a sinner in church and ended up looking something like this-

and i damn near cackled like a witch at that ending LMAO

the roommate series || lover boy - @a-small-writer-in-a-big-world

✧ i knew nothing about this series going on and when i tell you i read through it with a swiftness. my skin is clear, my knees are weak, my livestock is fed. this fic (this whole series tbh) has reached in and wrapped around my heart in the best possible way.

illicit indulgences || the ghost of you - @floralpascal

✧ i am screaming. this is so...i don't know the right word. beautiful? stunning? gorgeous? all of the above? the captivating description of loneliness, the way ella manages to capture the stubbornness of ghost missing someone but refusing to admit to himself that he does. they're so perfect and in love and i'm just alskdaj

can you imagine someone threatening you - @mvtthewmurdvck

✧ you ever hear that phrase, so nice you reblog it twice? well i have, cause that's exactly what i did with this fic. it's the least i could do for the pure artistry of this fic. i love reader here, being so confident and capable and ghost being completely infatuated by her ability and so ready to kill anyone who disrespects her.

Valeria Garza

10 years too late on that, love - @writeforfandoms

✧ hello???? this was incredible???? i am??? slightly intimidated???? and in love??? with both valeria because she's mommy and with jen because she's such a wonderful writer and i am in awe of her talent.

#moth fic recs #fave fics #monthly fic recs

[popstart]

Please drop some more of your fav rare pairs 🙏🙏🙏

sometimes i feel like my pairs are not that rare but then i remember theyre all f/f so theyre rare by default. these are mostly just the ones i have actual thoughts about because i can see a lot of different pairs but more just like "oh yeah thats cool" not that i have severe brainrot over them.

GWEN/BRIDGETTE... ok. ive been thinking about them recently. genuinely came out of nowhere but recently my mind has been on them them them them. their clashing aesthetics speak to me. they have so much in common but they go about it in such different ways and the potential seriously switches something in my brain.

i like nichelle/julia. does anyone remember when ppl shipped them for like 2 microseconds before s1 was released then everyone moved on when they only interacted once in s1 then mkulia became the defacto julia ship in s2. I NEVER MOVED ON. I saw an edit back in the day im never gonna find ever again bc it was months ago but i havent moved on since then i literally cant even lie. they have a hate fuelled rivalry where they constantly try to one-up the other in some stupid bullshit

also like julia/axel idk why it makes me silly. I don't have thoughts on this one i just like it.

love loser one sided pining with zoey/heather. SOO MUCH ACTUALLY. i like to think zoey has rly embarassing crushes on both her and gwen. she loses her mind when heather guest stars bc shes always looked up to her and loses her mind again when they share a season. would it work out? FUCKK NO. but its funny and makes me say teehee bc zoey gives me so much embarassing baby gay energy and what's more classic sapphic than falling for the mean girl bc you have unresolved issues from a fucked up situationship you had in middle school.

similar vibes is sugar/ella. i think it can be so tragic in a way im so not prepared for. ella has so much love in her heart for everyone and sugar doesnt like that bc shes a salty jealous bitch. yeah.

ella in general is a fun character to ship with girls. like sky/ella is so delicious to me bc its like, the classic lesbian trap of they would never ever date just be weird for all time and i think ella couldn't handle it and it would be weird and sad. ella thinks theyre dating bc they hold hands and call eachother pretty while skys like wtf. idk why i push all this onto ella i just want her ending to be tragic i could not tell you why.

i feel like izzy/eva is a ship that most people can get behind but doesnt actually have much content so im giving a shoutout to them. i love izzeva. mostly bc i love eva and i really Really wanna know how and why eva knew izzy lied in s1 about the whole izzy staying on the island thing.

#ask #anyways a lot of the ships i like arent even for romantic reasons its just like ohh hell yeah put those guys together #like i wanna see how the relationship would pan out or how they would get there in the first place

[allycat128]

~VENT~ tw also

.

.

.

The truth is when people try to deliberately destroy you, you have two options end it all or go through a massive rebirth situation not to long I had a pretty coincidencedentil relationship he was rather abusive physically emotionally mentally psychologically he completely destroyed parts of me but they were the parts of me I didn't want to exist I had to become some form of darkness to protect myself from him I engaged with highly risk taking behaviour that probably could have killed me I had to be stronger than I had to be when I was I child BC he trapped me but truth is he didn't trap me for ever I saved myself no one saved me I didn't need anyone to pick up my broken pieces I'm doing it myself when he isolated me from everyone and everything I was the only person I had once again but it's always been that way even when I had friends they were pretty shit anyway people don't seem to like constrictive criticism but back to the trauma dump my whole entire life I let people drain me in every single way possible and once they hurt me they didn't really get to know me any further than that I hid myself from everyone BC people always hurt me last year and til now I had this very destructive attitude towards everyone who hurt me BC that's all they were doing they didn't respect me my property or home I respected them tho I don't anymore but I decided to be a "bitch" I wish all the best for them I hope they accomplish all there dreams meet all there goals and find themselves and all but there no longer welcome in my life that chapter is done I can't go back anymore there's to many unresolvable issues I can't fix myself and everyone else at the same time sometimes I think I was the bad person of it all yeh some situations I was 100% I'll admit that but it's pretty sad when I think about I put so much effort into friendships just to destruct them for my own benefit but having no one is better than having fakes and copycats if they don't have access they can't copy and I couldn't even be who I was I wasn't a bitch I wasn't a cunt I wasn't all those bad things I was protecting myself in a harmful to other way but pretty much I'm doing a lot better now I'm not starving myself anymore I'm not even gonna say why that started its quite sad I'm actually eating normally again finally it was all because of people who put me down and my weakness I used to be really weak I'm not anymore I'll drop someone as soon as they disrespect disregard and blantly lie to my face I don't take shit anymore I'm finding re inventing/discovering myself for the millionth time but what pushed me to this stage is pretty much on a daily bases for 2-3 months I was told to kill myself to cut my wrists the last time I saw him he actually watched me do it he wouldn't stop yelling so that's what I had to resort to it felt like the only option he was still degrading me afterwards then I got him to stop and he comforted me while that was all happening I sent a voice recording to my brother BC I actually thought something bad was gonna happen he went to the police and he partook in the reason I got out that was the last time he also sa'd me multiple times he wanted to destroy every part of me but in all reality it made me stronger in the end it didn't permanently set me back the mindset I got into is I'm living out of spite I'm saving myself out of spite I'm looking after myself out of spite I'm cleaning out spite Ive become quite the exact opposite of everything he said I was I'm proud of myself to say the least

#domestic violent relationships #tw abuse #be your true self #dont give up #hope #love #spite #stronger #i’m just glad she’s in a better place now #shifting methods #healing #light and darkness #inner child #inner peace #saving me #only you #childhood trauma #save yourself #leave no trace

[burnedbyshoto]

spiral

— Honestly, what could go wrong when you’re lusting over your close friend and you’re locked in a box with only one way to get out? Well, not a lot, honestly.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

pairing: kaibara sen x fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+, gloryhole, dirty talk, praise, fingering, sexual tension, reader is a pervert, quirk use during sex (spinning cock lol)

word count: 2,695

a/n: this is the second gloryhole fic ive written, but its completely different from the last time because its like not a cult fic LMAO!!! anyways, I think yall basic shouto and bakugou stans could do well to stan this class 1-b man because when I tell you he is another deviation of the two of them personality wise.... I mean it! 

day 5 main kink: gloryhole

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

If you had known precisely what you had just gotten yourself into right now three hours ago, you would have laughed at yourself. Without a doubt, there was no questioning that the predicament you had concealed yourself in was one that would bring you great shame once this wall was gone, but for now, you would deal with it.

At the bitter age of twenty, having graduated from the hero department over in Shiketsu High, you had been almost shocked when you were reached out upon by the graduating class over at Yuuei, to come and join their agency. You had accepted it with caution, unsure if you could live a life paycheck to paycheck that was as new as they come. But, it was a decision you would come to never regret.

Or at least, not until right now. 

You had been on patrol with your coworker turned friend, Kaibara Sen, hero name: Spiral.

His quirk was an interesting one. A quirk that allowed him to gyrate -- spin -- every limb and ligament on his body. It caused some pretty asshole moves in close combat that not only stung with the piercing metal on his gloves but also sent you flying away. Countless amounts of times, you had pinned him only to spun around like a spinning top and slammed back into the practice mats.

You hated it.

Or well, you hated his quirk in a sensical way (note: do not attempt to beat him through a crowd, he always wins). In the nonsensical, coming of age brain of yours that had been for the most part silenced due to Shiketsu’s no-dating-policy, but as you grew fond of your coworker, frequent workout buddy and sparring partner, you couldn’t help but wonder just if… well… if he could spin his cock.

You would be lying if you said you had never imagined what it could feel like. You wondered if his cock was curved, or if it was straight. Would the veins be prominent? Too many times, when watching quirk-plot porn videos, you found your mind lingering onto his ability, which leads you to scream into a pillow, your hormones both skyrocketing and plummeting in your horror. 

You weren’t a perv, you like to remind yourself as you changed into your hero costume. It was merely a rational, human thought! Humans were curious beings, after all! Sure, Kaibara was attractive, and his voice was… so low, deep, and raspy that sometimes you would try to – NOPE NOT A PERV!

Blazing hot cheeks drummed in time with your hammering heart as you finished dressing, hoping to get out and clear your mind with helping out the community as a hero! You were a hero!

Not a perv!

Nodding to yourself in the mirror located in your designated locker, you slammed it close and left.

Unfortunately for you, or fortunately, Kaibara was already dressed in his costume and waved at you in greeting as you approached him.

“Afternoon.”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up!” you flustered, your back stiffening as you continued to stomp ahead, readying to leave the stupid agency and get your afternoon rounds done. 

You weren’t a pervert!

With three years since graduating from high school, three years of this agency having been founded, and three years of becoming friends with the esteemed and infamous class 1-A and 1-B from Yuuei, you had learned one thing for sure. This group of Yuuei students seemed to attract the worse kind of trouble like a moth to a lamp.

Without a doubt, you knew that was the reason why you had Kaibara somehow ended up in this horrible, ridiculous quirk from a child that just so happened to manifest their quirk out in the open. And of course, it would be the most humiliating shit to ever happen in the entire world of quirk apparitions.

“Uh, the mother said it’s probably the father’s quirk!” came the apologetic, nearing frantic voice of Deku from outside the steel box both you and Kaibara were trapped in. 

You couldn’t even see Kaibara’s face, and the perv in you screamed over the lack of even having his body pressed against yours! No! Nothing! As a matter of fact, there was a divider between you and Kaibara, a giant wall with a hole near your crotch area.

“I can’t believe you idiots got yourselves trapped in this!” came the amused, annoyed, and somehow antagonizing voice of Ground Zero. 

“Shut up!” you screamed back. “They looked at us, and it happened! It’s not like we touched the kid!”

“Y/h/n,” Kaibara’s voice sighed, and you felt your face ignite at the sighful tone on his raspy, deep voice. You pouted at the slight scold in his manner and felt yourself looking down in shame as he continued. “Don’t argue with Ground Zero. Hey, Deku, how we get out of this?”

The both of you were silent for some time, the outside world quiet as you waited for an answer.

“Oh, um, I don’t think you’re going to like it…” Deku’s voice laughed awkwardly from outside the box, and you frowned.

“Just tell us.”

“I-It’s uh… it’s a quirk called Gloryhole!” Deku squeaked, and just as you knew the successful and well-recognized pro hero outside of this box was undoubtedly red in the face, you felt your already warm face turn into an inferno. “I-I-It’s exactly… ohmygod!”

“The shitnerd is apparently a fucking perv and can’t finish his stupid sentence. Anyways, this quirk only works on shits like you with unresolved sexual tension and only removes after you use it,” Ground Zero’s voice barked from outside the walls.

“KACCHAN!”

“Shut up, Deku!” Ground Zero fired right back, and you could feel your body trembling at the news. Oh no, your perverted mind finally caught up to you in the worst of ways?! Although he did say unresolved sexual tension, that could totally be onesided, right? “We’ll be back in an hour, get it done, or fucking else.”

They left you, and you realized that despite your panicking pitched breathes, there was no noise coming from Kaibara’s side.

Oh no, this was all your fault! 

Oh no, oh no, oh no!

“You, uh,” Kaibara spoke softly, and you felt your hands clutch onto the fabric above your breasts. “You have unresolved sexual tension with me?”

“No,” you denied immediately, your forehead crashing against the barrier between you and Kaibara at the blatant, stupid lie. “Yes. Ugh, I do, but that wasn’t something I was planning on telling you!”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s embarrassing? What was I supposed to say when you pin me against mats during sparring sessions? ‘Hey, Kaibara, does your cock also spin? If so, can you fuck me with it?’”

You slap your hand across your mouth, eyes going wide in your panicked embarrassment. That mouth of yours was genuinely going to get your tongue cut off or lips sewn together one day.

It’s silent for a bit, but there’s a sound of clothes ruffling. The rate of your heartbeat seemed to increase exponentially as you saw something shift from the view you had of the Gloryhole. “Well, if you want to find out, I’ll be more than willing to give you a demonstration.”

The pervert you may or not be did not hesitate to respond back.

“Please?”

And you watched as his shadowed figure approached the hole, and a pink-headed cock pushed through the hole into your side. You watched with a gaping jaw at the still-growing cock before you. Without a doubt, it was more than seven inches and was glorious, gravity defyingly curved upwards. It was proud as it was thick, and you watched as the underneath of his cock scraped across the bottom.

A soft grunt strangled in his throat at the cold, rough sensation, and you watched a small, glistening bead of pre-cum appear from the slit on his head. You’re not sure how quickly you dropped to your knees, but you did know that your mouth took him on completely. Within the first drop of your mouth on his cock, you enveloped at least half of his cock in your mouth. A loud bang hit the wall, and you felt a warmth in your chest, knowing that you had already affected him.

Your lips and mouth glided against his length, your tongue pressing and lapping at the underneath of the head of his cock, trying to cock to become as hard as it could be, because it was still growing. A particular needy, near sloppy suck of yours, sent a loud, dizzying guttural noise from Kaibara’s side. A noise that sent liquid heat spilling into your cunt as your hand gripped the base of his cock, bobbing your head slowly, as leisurely as you would allow yourself.

His taste was indescribable, faint yet had you licking his length for more, trying to cover your tongue in his pre-cum. 

But the issue with a proud curving upwards cock, was that you found it awkward to choke yourself down his impossibly stubborn curve as he began to thrust his hips to meet your mouth and travel into your throat. Grunt, gasps, and growls seemed to be growing in volume and repetition on his side of the wall as you relaxed your throat, chokes, and gags sounding wet and sloppy on your side. 

“Fuck, just like that, wait up,” Kaibara moaned, a thud coming straight above your own head, letting you know that he had pressed his head against the wall. The thumping of his hips on the wall was slowly becoming musical, white noise as you bobbed your head further along his length, throat vibrating with your need to make him feel good. And the weirdest, most surprised splutter came from your throat as his cock spun in direction.

Once curved upwards, making it nearly impossible in the space to take his cock all the way down your throat, was now downcurved. It stretched your jaw out entirely as he didn’t bother to pull away to do it, and your throat stretched out in a way you had never experienced before as you coughed and staggered against his length. But, it was a pain that made your clit throb and allowed his cock to go even further down your throat.

You did what you could only do once your throat stopped hurting, and the sheer pleasure of having your throat stretched out in a more desirably wait set in: you moaned.

It was a long, pitchy noise that you swore you could feel against the steel wall that your free hand supported you against. Your toes curled at the way his intensely thrusting hips faltered for a moment, undoubtedly turned on by your noise if the twitch in his cock said anything about it. You moaned again, and again, and again. You continued to do so against his snapping hips until Kaibara was practically snarling your name with the intention and muttered promises of what he would do to you once the barrier was gone. 

Your mind was gone at the point, the promises of fucking you against the window of his apartment that overlooked the Tokyo skyline had you shoving the pants off your hero costume down. Your hand on his cock tightening in its grip, but the one manipulating your pants off, sunk into your cunt, thumb on your clit. 

A mewl left your lips as you began to play with your wet heat, and you drove your mouth and head closer to the hole, enthusiastically taking him in further and further. 

“Imma fuck you so good when we get fucking out of here,” Kaibara promised, teeth undoubtedly pulled into a snarl, his thrusting in bizarre speeds as you tried to keep some piece of sanity as you continued to finger fuck yourself, all too pleased with him absolutely using your mouth. But, you registered his words just well enough to respond back, choking an agreeing noise as you bobbed your head enthusiastically. “Had I known you just wanted that slutty pussy of yours to be fucked, I would’ve done this with you ages ago. Would’ve pinned you down on that mat, and claimed your cunt as my prize.” Your eyes rolling back in your hormone-induced euphoria, your own dirty fantasies having played that scene in your mind countless times. “I want to hear you choke on my cock more, I want to hear the saliva and drool leaving your mouth. I know you’re fucking your cunt, so do it well enough you’re moaning like a paid prostitute. I promise you, I’ll make sure you never want to see another cock again that isn’t mine!”

A choking, hiccuped, and wet breath expelled from your mouth, and you hadn’t even realized you were crying at the moment. But, you agreed, head bobbing in your agreement.

And so, it continued. 

You pushed forward, his length reaching new depths of your throat until you had your nose smashed against the metal, cold wall. Your throat manipulatively squeezing and milking his throbbing cock, tongue, and teeth rubbing against his protruding veins until Kaibara was stuttering out your broken first name. 

The wet noises of his saliva drenched cock meeting your drooling throat and mouth grew louder with every slap, and you wanted more. You needed more.

“Fuck, y/n, you take me s-so fucking good. I think you have me entirely in your mouth like the fucking little pervert you are,” Kaibara hotly laughed, a soft thudding from near your chin sending your mind in a feral daze of how it was probably his balls. “Doing so well with my directions, you really do deserve to be fucked properly after this.”

A low, lewd whine strangled from your throat, your hot, swollen lips sucking harshly against the base of his cock as he continues drilling, and the melodic moans from his mouth made it all worth the fact your lips and nose are starting to tingle from the sufficient lack of oxygen. But it’s also your curling, pumping fingers in your cunt that add onto the headrush you get, the slick and essence coating and dripping from your pounding fingers send you into a series of keen and mewls against his cock. And you can perfectly find each sweet little pleasure spot. 

You were close, and by the consistent twitching and throbbing of his cock and the thick coating of precum on your tongue, Kaibara was too.

With your impending orgasm, you felt your body begin to tense up, shaking, and moaning with the tipping sensation you loved. And Kaibara, entirely lost in his own passionate, horny endeavors, shook as he slammed into you again, again, and again.

With a fiery determination, your cheeks hollowed out on his length as he pulled out, a resonating “fuck!” screamed from his lips as your tongue swiped at the salty silt on his cock, and it was all over.

You came on your fingers with a loud, pitchy scream, and thick, hot ropes of cum spurted from his cock onto your awaiting mouth, dirtying your face slightly in his heavy ejaculation. Swallowing the cum, a shiver ran down your spine as you quickly cleaned the remaining cum on his cock. Slowly, you removed the fingers in your cunt, and you shuddered at the pulsating heat form your core as you dropped to the floor as his soft cock disappeared from the hole. 

Laughing softly, you looked up at the ceiling of the box that was slowly disappearing, allowing fresh air to enter the sex smelling box.

“So, how about dinner?” Kaibara asked, and you chuckled, running a hand through your abused face.

“I don’t think I’m hungry.”

“No?”

“You might’ve proved you can spiral your cock,” you began, turning your head to look at Kaibara, who was collapsed on the floor, barely put together as the two of you locked eyes. “But I still would like to try it out for real while you properly fuck me. After that, if I’m hungry for food, I’d love to go for dinner.”

He laughed, his hand running through his sweaty locks.

“Sounds like a deal to me.”

#kaibara sen x reader #kaibara x reader #kaibara smut #bnha #bnha x reader #mha #bbs kinktober 2020

[aetherknit]

Say all of your thoughts plz ive been waiting to hear (only if you want of course)

ifl i'm only reiterating the words that many brilliant c!crimeboys fans have already written but im enamored with how successfully cc!wilbur&tommy pull off such a complicated relationship so effortlessly -- c!crimeboys are addictive to watch. theyre funny, they bounce off one another, theyre nostalgic. they love each other, theyre brothers. you, as a viewer, cant let go of them; in a lot of ways, things don't seem as right when there is no tommy&wilbur, and they dont FEEL tragic to watch.

but then there are moments amidst all the good where youre reminded of every unresolved issue between them the same way the characters are. its sobering. tommy will always follow wilbur unconditionally and he'll do it without complaint, even when wilbur disregards him. wilbur defines him, wilbur hurt him, tommy loses his sense of self in his strongest attachments ("who am i without you?")

and wilbur cant let go of tommy. every apology hes gives to other characters feels hollow -- why? because he never has to give anything up. he can say all the right words and give all the right amount of space to everybody else because it costs him nothing. but tommy is wilbur's EVERYTHING, and wilbur is selfish and so, so mentally ill (slash forreal) and he cant stop needing tommy, and he cant stop taking. tommy, it seems, is the only person who truly believes in him -- or is tommy just afraid to go against him? he's afraid to confront any of it, he's afraid to know, and so they spiral together -- downwards, again and again.

#wilbur cant apologize to tommy because hes not ready for it to be over etc etc #ask #long post

[xofanfics]

String - Part VII

Prologue | Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII

Genre: angst, fluff

Pairing: Baekhyun x Female Reader x Sehun

Word Count: 4.3k

Summary: You find yourself in a friends-with-benefits situation with your best friend. You have no business falling for him, but your heart begs to differ.

You took extra care with your outfit tonight. Not that you wouldn’t take extra care anyway, being that you were going on a date. Conveniently, you’d see Baekhyun too. 

You ended up pushing your date with Sehun back to nine instead of seven. He didn’t seem to have an issue with it, thankfully. He said, “Go support your friends. The jazz bar isn’t going anywhere.”

“Thanks for understanding,” you said. “He asked me to come at the last minute.”

“It’ll be fun. Just save a little bit of energy for me,” he said, chuckling. 

“What’s that supposed to mean, hm? Why do I need energy?”

“So you don’t fall asleep mid drink, you little perv.”

The two of you burst into laughter. For someone who wasn’t actively trying to have sex with you, he did enjoy making dirty jokes. You didn’t mind. It reminded you of the stupid, slick comments Baekhyun used to make when you’d wear short skirts. He’d whisper, “Are you going to let me eat you out later? I think my head fits perfectly between your legs,” while your friends weren’t paying attention. You smiled at the distant memory but then you shook it off, bringing yourself back to a Baekhyun-less reality. 

You felt bad pursuing Sehun when you still sort of had these unresolved feelings for Baekhyun but you needed to move on. It wasn’t that you were using Sehun. You actually liked him a lot and you could see this going somewhere. He was a good guy and, to be honest, it seemed like you had more in common with him than with Baekhyun. But still, for reasons you had yet to discover, it felt like your heart would burst out of your chest and jump on Baekhyun if it could. 

You looked in the mirror. You were wearing a long sleeved maroon colored dress, a few inches above your knees. It was long enough to cover your butt and short enough to show off your legs. The dress hung off both of your shoulders, showing off some skin. You wore a pair of stud earrings and a simple necklace that wasn’t too dressy. Your date was at a jazz bar and you figured you’d dress up a bit. You admitted to yourself that you had a double agenda, hoping that Baekhyun noticed you and even more so, delusionally hoping that he’d want you back. 

You slid on your black booties and put your bag over your shoulder. You checked for your phone, keys, and wallet before heading out of the door. Excitement ran through you and so did anxiety. Tonight could go very good, very badly, or very neutrally. Could you handle it?

*

People were piling into the auditorium as you arrived a bit later than expected. Sadie and Evie told you they’d saved you a seat and were waiting for you somewhere on the right side. You’d find them eventually. Since the lights were still on, you found your friends easily. You squeezed past other people, making your way to the middle of the row. 

“Hey guys,” you said, plopping down next to Daren.

“Well, well, well,” said Daren. “Look who finally decided to show up.”

You smiled, giving him a quick hug before sitting down. You waved to Sadie and Evie on the other side of him. “I’m sorry I’ve been MIA…”

“Yeah and, uh, I…”

You shook your head. “You don’t have to feel bad for me or anything. I’m fine.”

Relief washed over your friend and the lights dimmed. The host went onto the stage, taking the microphone in his hands. “Hey, hey, hey! I know we’re all super excited to be here this evening. I’m your host Kalled…”

You started tuning him out, thinking again of how the night would go. Would you be able to speak if Baekhyun stood in front of you? What kinds of things would you say? Part of you wanted to be mean, to hurt his feelings like he did to you. But the other part wasn’t sure.

“The first group to compete in the Battle of the Orgs: Dance Edition is…”

To be honest, you weren’t quite paying attention. You knew that KSA was going last and you had no interest in the Bollywood dancing or the Chinese fan dance or the hip-hop or the ballet. You even found yourself dozing off. Daren nudged you as the host announced the group you actually cared about. 

You rubbed sleep from your eyes as the first song came on: Under Cover by A.C.E. You watched the group’s sharp movements and, if you didn’t know them, you’d think that they might be professionals. Baekhyun liked to dance but you had no idea that he could pull this off. You watched the way his body moved in his black shirt and joggers. You watched as his body twisted and turned. He looked concentrated and, knowing the person Baekhyun was, you knew that he could be a bit of a perfectionist when it came to things like this. 

You sighed to yourself as they started performing Sha La La by Pentagon. You wondered what this girlfriend of his was like and if she was here. Did she get him flowers or something to congratulate him on his performance? Was she here right now, in this crowd? You didn’t know anything about this girl so far and that was part of what killed you. And you supposed it was better off not knowing because then you’d find yourself comparing and contrasting.

Before you knew it, they performed Regular by NCT 127 and their performance was over. As the crowd roared and people put in their votes, you tuned it all out. All you could think about was Baekhyun. Why did this have to be so hard? Why was it so hard to move on when Baekhyun already let you know that you weren’t the person he wanted? Shouldn’t it be easy? Shouldn’t you think, “Fuck him!” Why was it that your heart still clinging onto those feelings?

As predicted, KSA’s dance team won the competition and the crowd roared again. Your friends jumped up and down next to you, yelling and shouting for your friends. You clapped but you didn’t jump. Right about now, you couldn’t bring yourself to feel excited. You didn’t want to feel like this but you couldn’t help yourself. You wanted to leave. You didn’t want to face Baekhyun but you also knew that you couldn’t hide from him forever. Eventually, you’d cross paths again and you’d have to act like a reasonable adult. 

The auditorium started to empty out and you led the way out into the hallway. You excused yourself to the bathroom so that you could gain your bearings. You went to the bathroom and washed your hands. You turned the water off and dried your hands. You took a deep breath, looking in the mirror to make sure you didn’t look as distressed as you felt. For now, you could pull it off. Chill out, Y/N, you told yourself as you walked out of the bathroom and back into the hallway where you left your friends. 

Before you could even search for them yourself, you found them standing with a man whose face you knew all too well. You knew it wasn’t their fault that Baekhyun was there because it was no one’s job to protect your feelings. After all, they were still friends with Baekhyun even if your relationship with him was up in the air.

You took a deep breath, as you’d been spotted not only by Baekhyun but by Drew. It was too late to run in the opposite direction so you did your best and made your way over to your friends. 

“Y/N, hey,” said Evie, attempting to break the ice that had formed between you and Baekhyun. You stood a safe distance away from Baekhyun, choosing to stand next to Sadie instead of next to Daren which would bring you dangerously close to Baekhyun. 

“Hey guys,” you said, as a general greeting just so that Baekhyun didn’t assume you were speaking to him directly. You could feel his eyes on you like glue. “The performance was really good. Good job…”

“Thanks,” said Drew and Baekhyun at the same time. 

Baekhyun let out a nervous laugh before Evie cleared her throat. “So, is anyone up for a party tonight?”

“I’m down,” said Baekhyun.

Drew looked at Daren. “We’re not doing anything tonight.”

“Whose party?”

“One of the girls was saying that there’s an Airbnb party tonight. Whoever’s throwing the party must be rich. I heard his dad is a diplomat from Ethiopia. It’s some place that’s not too far. A little further uptown. I followed her on Instagram. She posted the address on her story,” Evie explained. 

“Y/N, are you coming?”

You shook your head. “I actually have plans tonight.”

Sadie said, “Just bring him with you!”

Before you could say anything else, someone crashed into Baekhyun and wrapped their arms around him. She said, “You did amazing, babe.”

Baekhyun smiled back at her. “Thank you.” He planted a kiss on her forehead, just like he used to do to you.

There she was, in all her fucking glory. Miss Kira had blessed you with her presence after all this time. Not only did you have to have a run-in with Baekhyun but with his new girlfriend, too. This was the cherry on top of all of your problems. Kira looked up and greeted the rest of your friends. She said, “I’m Kira. I don’t think we’ve met.”

Baekhyun said, “Kira, Y/N. Y/N, this is my girlfriend Kira.”

If everyone was being honest, you’d admit that you wanted to punch her in her pretty face. You’d admit that you wanted to pull her stupid long, bone straight hair. You’d admit that you wanted to rip her jacket in two. But you didn’t admit any of those things. And you definitely weren’t being honest. 

She smiled at you as she reached out her hand. Mustering the fakest smile you could, you smiled back and shook the bitch’s hand. You felt bad referring to her as a bitch, even in your thoughts. But it’s what your brain did automatically. When you thought of the name Kira, you couldn’t help but think of the word bitch to go along with it.

Kira the bitch. 

Bitchy ass Kira. 

The bitch-who-stole-Baekhyun Kira. 

What sucked for you is that she didn’t seem like the type of girl to be a bitch. Hating her would be a lot easier if she had her nose up in the air as if she was better than you or if she was acting standoffish. But meeting her face to face tonight, she seemed excited to meet you, another one of Baekhyun’s friends. 

“Nice to meet you,” you said even though you didn’t mean it.

You cleared your throat and turned to Sadie. “I’ll ask him. He just said he’s outside.”

*

You weaved in and out of clusters of students, the post-performance buzz had spilled out onto the sidewalks. You heard the chatter of your classmates, with most of them trying to figure out plans for the night. Just like you, you had no idea what the plan was for tonight. You didn’t even know if Sehun would agree. Your mind was pretty much a jumble after dealing with seeing Baekhyun and meeting Kira for the first time ever. 

You found Sehun standing across the street, on the corner. You jogged across the street once the road was clear to cross. He smiled upon your arrival and pulled you into a quick hug. “Wow. You look good.”

You smiled as you pulled away from his hug. “Thanks.”

“Are you ready to head out?”

“I was actually wondering if you wanted to go to this party instead,” you said. 

“What kind of party?”

“There’s just this rich kid who rented out an airbnb a little further uptown. A lot of people are trying to go.” You cleared your throat. “My friends asked if I wanted to go and said that I should bring you. But don’t feel pressured to go. We already made plans but I just wanted—”

“Let’s go,” he said, much to your surprise.

“Really?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. I haven’t been to a college party in a couple years. I’m down to relive college for a night.”

“Are you sure?”

“As long as I get to hang out with you, I’m happy.”

You smiled. “Thanks. Plus, I think my friends kinda wanna meet you.”

He returned your smile. “I’m great with friends.”

You liked this about Sehun too. Even though he seemed more reserved, he was still very open and friendly. You had no doubts that your friends would like him. Hell, you figured Drew and Daren would probably like him, too. Sehun was the ideal man and you knew that. You just wished that your heart would keep that in mind, too. You were trying to forget about Baekhyun but your heart was holding you back. You had to push him out to make room for Sehun, because you deserved better.

Your friends spotted you before you spotted them. Sehun looked past you and nodded behind you. “Are these your friends?”

You turned around and found Sadie and Evie walking toward you. “Heeeeeeyyy,” sang Evie. “There you are.” Sadie wrapped her arm around your shoulder as your face turned a little red with embarrassment.

With a sigh, you said, “Well looks like they found us. These are my friends Evie and Sadie.”

They shook hands with him and Sehun said, “My name’s Sehun.”

“So you’re the guy that’s been stealing our friend away the past couple weekends,” said Sadie.

“Nice to meet you,” said Evie.

Sehun said, “So I heard there’s a party?”

“Yeah,” Evie answered. “You’re coming right? I figured we should pregame or something.”

“My place isn’t too far. We could go there. I have a couple bottles of something or another,” Sehun said.

And that was that. The four of you headed to Sehun’s house in Chelsea. To be honest, you’d never been there. You had no idea what his house looked like. And to be honest another time, you realized that you assumed that he lived in Brooklyn like you. But tonight was full of surprises, clearly.

*

The four of you walked into a luxury building that was a thousand times better than the third floor walk up you lived in. As you walked into the lobby, the concierge said, “Good evening.” Sehun nodded and led you and your friends toward the elevators. The gray floors were so shiny that you could almost see yourself in them. You gawked at the grand chandelier hanging above you as you waited for the elevator.

As the elevator arrived, Sehun held his arm out and let you and your friends on first. Evie whispered in your ear, “What a gentleman...” 

You smiled to yourself as the four of you got out on the nineteenth floor. Sehun led you down a long hallway, ending up at the end of the hallway. He took out his key and let everyone inside. He flipped the light switch and put his keys down on the kitchen counter. 

“Make yourselves at home,” he said. “I’m gonna see what we have. My roommate had some leftover bottles from a get together we had a couple weeks ago.”

You nodded and sat on the couch, sandwiched between your friends. You watched as Sehun rummaged through the mahogany kitchen cabinets. He looked so concentrated and you couldn’t help but notice how he raised his eyebrow at the bottle holding the brown liquid in question. He held up two half full, half empty bottles. One was clear and one was dark. 

Sauntering into the living room, Sehun held up the two bottles. “Light or dark?”

“Light,” the three of you said.

“You’re scared of dark liquor huh?”

“It always gives me a hangover,” said Evie.

Sadie nodded in agreement. “Do you have some juice or something to chase it with?”

Sehun started walking back toward the kitchen. He opened the fridge. “Yeah. Looks like there’s some orange juice and if you guys want something different, I have some of that shitty lemonade mix. And there’s Sprite.”

“Vodka lemonade sounds good,” you said. “We can top it with sprite.”

Evie nudged you. “Go help him!”

You laughed and got up, heading into the kitchen to join him. “Need some help?”

He looked up, smiling. “I could always use some help. Apparently I’m a little heavy handed with adding sugar...” You started helping Sehun, grabbing measuring cups and the sugar jar as he washed the pitcher. 

He got four glasses and started pouring a little vodka in each. “How about a shot to get started?”

*

You were tipsy. Not too drunk but not too sober either. The drinks you and Sehun made were pretty good. There wasn’t much sprite left in the bottle so the four of you had to make it stretch a bit. And Sehun was right about being heavy handed because the first batch of lemonade ended up being sugar water rather than lemonade. Luckily, you had salvaged it, dumping some of the water in the sink and adding more water.

Sehun got more and more outgoing as the night went on. He told your friends about the night you met and how you stood out to him and how he felt like he had to talk to you. When you disappeared for a moment into the bathroom, you heard him say that he was starting to like you. This made you smile. It felt good to be wanted. It felt good to not have to question a man’s feelings for you. 

To be honest, you liked him too. You enjoyed his company and he made you feel like the only girl in the world. When he spoke to you, he only saw you. You could tell that he’d invested a lot in you so far. You didn’t have to wonder if he was entertaining other women. He told you that he wasn’t like that and you could tell that he was being genuine. Sehun was the most genuine guy that you’d met in a long time. He wasn’t about bullshit and pulling you around on a string for weeks, months, and so on only to drop you at the last minute. For the first time in a long time, you saw a clear path in front of you. There were no bumps or obstacles standing in your way. It was a straight shot.

When you came back in the living room, Sehun had turned some music on and he started singing “Diamonds” by Rihanna. You and your friends joined in on the song and started singing and dancing around the couch and coffee table, clutching your vodka soda lemonade drinks in your hands. It was going to be a good night, you thought.

Before you knew it, it was about to hit ten o’clock. Evie let everyone know that people were starting to head to the party. As you left Sehun’s apartment, Sadie added that Baekhyun was most likely coming too. But, at this moment, you didn’t care. You felt much better going to this party if Sehun was at your side. You felt better, more confident, with Sehun on your arm. This was a great way to show Baekhyun that you’d moved on after all. You didn’t need him anymore and, to be honest, you were through. Why were you even thinking of Baekhyun and all the bullshit you’d been through when you were walking next to a man that made you question nothing? When you were walking next to a man who openly admitted to liking you? He hadn’t told you directly and you knew that he probably had no idea if you heard what he said in the first place. Hell, he might even admit it to you if you just asked. Either way, you were in a much better place now. You were no longer hanging onto some string, with Baekhyun pulling you in all sorts of directions. You were free, free to let go of that fucking string and go after what you wanted. 

*

Baekhyun knew he had no right to feel hurt but he did. For some reason, he felt hurt that you’d possibly moved on. He knew that it was stupid and that none of it really made much sense but it was how he felt. Baekhyun had moved on. Hell, it seemed like you had moved on, too. 

Even with this beautiful girl standing in front of him, he felt jealous. Even though you weren’t his and he wasn’t yours, he still felt some type of way. He was so torn and confused by these feelings, so he started toward the kitchen for a drink. He needed something that would push his feelings to the back of his mind. Kira had walked off with a friend to fix her makeup in the bathroom, so he felt less guilty about leaving her on her own. 

As he walked into the kitchen, he spotted Drew taking a shot with a bunch of other guys he’d never met before. Drew slammed down his plastic shot glass and looked up at his friend. “Baek, take a shot with us!” 

He shrugged and figured why not? He grabbed the shot his friend had poured and downed it quickly. “Can I vent?”

Drew nodded, “Let’s go to the balcony.”

Baekhyun weaved in and out of the clusters of people scattered across the living room, his friend following behind him. He slid open the door, relieved that the balcony wasn’t crowded. There was a couple smoking a cigarette together on the other side. He sat down on one of the patio chairs and Drew sat across from him. 

“What’s up?” Drew said. 

Baekhyun sighed. “It’s Y/N...”

“What about her?” he asked. “Was it weird seeing her tonight?”

“Well, it was...but did you see the way she purposely didn’t stand near me? It’s like she doesn’t even wanna breathe my air. She barely acknowledged my presence. And that fucking sarcastic smile when Kira said hi to her? I bet she didn’t even listen to my voicemail either. And she’s already seeing someone new?”

Drew was perplexed by this situation between you and Baekhyun. This wasn’t the first time he went on a rant about you and how you weren’t answering any of his messages or when he pressed him for updates about you. He was always wondering what you were doing and why you weren’t answering and why things couldn’t be the way they used to be. 

Drew said, “I mean, you fucked her over. Did you expect her to just...forgive you?”

Baekhyun pouted. “Well, no but—”

“Think about it: She liked you a lot. And, I mean, I thought you did too…”

“I did, but—”

“Did or do? I know we’ve both been drinking and you’re probably in your feelings but you have to admit, you’re acting kinda crazy right now.”

“How am I acting crazy?”

“You started dating Kira! Can you blame Y/N for moving on? You’re saying you liked her, in past tense, but it sounds like maybe you still do.” Drew cleared his throat. “Look, what’s your problem exactly? Are you upset because she won’t forgive you or are you upset because you’re jealous that she’s moving on?”

Baekhyun was annoyed. He had come to Drew to vent and here he was psychoanalyzing him. Was Drew his friend or his goddamn therapist? 

Baekhyun let out a sigh, pushing those negative thoughts about his friend away. He knew Drew was right and that he was just trying to help him out. In a way, it was as if his friend knew him better that he knew himself. Drew was only giving him some things to think about. 

What was he even doing? Why was he obsessing over what you were doing when you’d clearly made up your mind that the two of you were no longer even friends? He, apparently, needed to move on, too. If he wanted a relationship with Kira, he needed to think less about you and more about her. Otherwise, it might go up in flames and blow up in Baekhyun’s face. 

“You’re right,” Baekhyun said, rolling his eyes. “I know you’re right.”

Drew said, “I’m not saying to break up with Kira and go to Y/N or the other way around but I think you need to take a step back to figure out what it is you want.” He threw his arm around Baekhyun. “Look, let’s just enjoy the party tonight and think about this complicated stuff later, okay?”

Baekhyun nodded. “Yeah. Deal.”

As soon Baekhyun closed the balcony door behind him and turned back toward the party, he saw you walk in, in all your glory. The worst part of it all was that you had your arms wrapped around some douchebag in a bomber jacket. Actually, he lied. The worst part of it all was the fact that not only did you have your arms wrapped around that douchebag’s arm, but that you were smiling harder than he’d seen you smile, like you were having the time of your life. 

The way his heart dropped and the way his blood began to simmer in his veins, he knew what Drew said was right. 

This was going to be a rough night.

***

Thank you for reading, as always and please let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for STRING!

Tag List: @shesdreaminginoverdose​ @multistania​ @jeonchan26​ @myonlyaurora​ @keloiu​ @xxluckydreamsxx​ @multifandomeras​ @blanknearvana​ @jddcfc-blog​ @jummyjammy​ @mintaemark​ @kokobyunee​ @fortheloveofinfinite​ @littleflowercrown13​ @wayvexo​ @to-all-the-stories-i-love​ @ggaayyyong​ @hyuniebaby​ @giriboyshogu​ @xyukheix​ @jekylluv​ @forbyun​ @endzii23​ @puppyeoliepop​ @aa-ronpa​ @jessverdin @princemicorazon​ @sjkings​ @marimsun​ @baekhypnotized​ @cynthbee​ @xuyiyangstan​ @justmitchie​ @minseoksnz​

#exo angst #exo smut #exo fluff #sehun angst #sehun fluff #sehun smut #baekhyun angst #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fluff #exo imagines #exo reactions #sehun x reader #baekhyun x reader #exo x reader #fwb!baekhyun #kpop fanfic #exo fanfic #kpop angst #kpop fluff #kpop smut

[fairycosmos]

lmao im actually so desperate to die im considering swallowing two peach pits just to see if i will choke to death because nothing else ive tried has worked so far . you know what my life doesnt fucking matter ill do it. with my luck it wont work i feel im being punished and thats why i cant die. ill do it. if i dont get back to you something happened but i doubt it. im tired like you said i deserve peace. we do. bye maybe i hope this works this is pathetic but im desperate to die

hey, i'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way. it seems like you're totally overwhelmed right now and i completely understand how debilitating that can be. i know there's nothing i can do or say that will really change how awful it feels, and you're probably not in the headspace to read all this. but if you ever want to come back to it, it'll be here. maybe you could try some of these grounding exercises, here / here and here beforehand to get you in a place where you can focus a little. it's alright, there's no rush or pressure. i just wanted to say first of all that this is not pathetic in the slightest. sometimes the world gets on top of you and you go througn so much trauma and hurt that it really does feel like giving up is the only option. people can only take so much, and i get it. that's the trick of the suicidal brain though, i think. it uses life's suffering and your own past experiences to convince you that it is always going to be this way. to romanticize death and make it into something it isn't in your head. it is actually very hard to die, as i'm sure you know. and it's not the peaceful option or escape you're looking for, either. and the most paramount thing i want to say is that your life 100% does matter. this was never up for debate. you were born with an inherent worth and it hasn't went away just because you can no longer see it. you honestly can't fathom how you've impacted peoples lives, directly and indirectly, and even just the world itself. you don't have to be anybody but who you are, i promise, the whole point is just having the human experience you're having. you're fulfilling your purpose by existing, no matter how hard it is at times. i think it's a good sign that you reached out to me, i honestly think it shows that you have a lot of self awareness regarding what's going on and that you're truly capable of asking for the help that you need. you're not in a place right now where you can trust your thoughts and feelings, so it's good to seek an objective perspective from somebody else. this state of mind is so transient, it's so intense that it's not built to last. i'm not trying to downplay how unbelievably hard to live with, of course, but it can be freeing to acknowledge that this is not all there is, no matter how difficult it is to endure currently. you deserve to be here and to exist in a way that heals you, no matter what your mind is telling you. there can be a variety of underlying causes for suicidal feelings, and obviously they're very serious issues that need real medical attention in order to begin to overcome. but with that and with time, it is totally possible to learn to live a full live along side all you've been through. even though right now i'm sure that's the lastthhing on earth you want to do.

are you currently working with a mental health professional of any sort? your doctor, a therapist, a support group, even a hotline? if not, i would really urge you to get in touch with them as soon as possible. and if you already are, let them know where your thoughts are at lately so they can focus on upping your level of care. if you're worried about money, there are cost-effective choics available, like finding a therapist who offers a sliding scale price, or looking into mental health resources within your community. i know your brain is probably screaming at you to do the opposite, but i promise any baby step in the right direction is going to pay off. the prospect of reaching out and being honest is a daunting one, and i'm only bringing it up as something to consider at the moment (or when you feel able to) so please don't write it off all together. you don't have to do anything right now, just know you have options. you honestly do. and talking to someone really is not as bad as your brain is probably building it up to be. just like with physical illness, mental illness can be confronted and treated. it's all about learning how to manage your unique mind, and even if it takes a lifetime, it is so possible to lessen the frequency of episodes like this. or to become more prepared for them so they feel less erratic when they do occur. discussing about what you've been through, pinpointing root causes of your suicidal thoughts, learnng how to implement healthy coping mechanisms into your daily routine, building a support system, finding the medication for you if needed - all of this is going to make a tangible difference. it is not going to fix everything, obviously, but it is going to lighten the weight and broaden your perspective on yourself and on living. you deserve to be supported without judgement and with genuine care, you deserve to be listened to. there are a lot of people, professionals or otherwise, even just strangers like me, who are willing to filling that role for you.

idk how it is for you and i won't pretend to, but sometimes suicidal people don't want to lose their lives, they just want to stop living the way they are. with so much chaos and unresolved pain and exhaustion. you don't have to hurt yourself in order to get there. i know when you're in this mindset, any even slightly positive piece of advice just feels impossible to believe. but even if you can't seriously take it on board at the moment, i hope when you're in a more grounded place, you can at least consider as an alternative to absolute hopelessness. you may as well, because you are alive and that is not always going to feel like a curse. it is so hard to believe it, i get that, but it is a fundamental truth. you are in an extremely difficult moment but that is not your whole existence. the future is ever changing, and you've already made it through the past, so the only thing that really matters is this moment. focus on what you need, not what you want, but what you need to do right now to truly self - prioritize. even if that feels like the last thing on earth you want do. if self destruction and self harm was gonna make you feel better, it would've by now. welcome the idea of trying something new, maybe just the notion of attempting to guide yourself through this with a bit of self-compassion. please, if you feel like you are an immediate danger to yourself, please exercise any sense of self preservation/ survival instinct and call the authorities, a hotline or a friend/family member right away. no matter what bullshit your brain is telling you, no matter how heavy your heart is right now . everything is always always always changing and things are going to change beyond recognition, it's the one thing you can count on. you deserve to stick around to see it all, and once you've made the decision to do so, you won't feel so stuck and conflicted anymore. i'm going to leave some links that i think might help a little in this moment, but like i said, please call someone if you feel you can't be alone right now. i'm rooting for u a lot and i really hope you are able do the right thing for yourself. if it's all too hard, focus on getting through the next hour. if that's too much, the next minute. and if that's too much, the next second. break it down into what you can handle and let yourself live. and then just go from there. sending you all my love.

list of hotlines

coping with depression

coping with suicidal thoughts

so you feel like shit?

template for creating a safety plan

#anon #tw suicide #talking #tw self harm

[sonnet009]

Wilder: Royo’s Story (Route Summary)

PROLOGUE:

MC decides not to flee Ziya but to instead wait for the guards to arrive, trusting that justice and truth will prevail. She is promptly arrested and thrown in prison to await her execution.

CHAPTER I:

Weeks pass and MC grows weak and despondent. Then one day an audaciously dressed djinn appears, knocks out the guards, and rescues MC from her cell. The djinn introduces herself as Royo and says that she has been sent here by an important man with a lot of coin. Royo smuggles MC out of the palace in an empty wine barrel, barely keeping her cover intact when one of the palace servants treats her like a lowly slave.

Outside and in the clear MC learns to her dismay that Royo was not sent by Uncle Makram to bring MC home, but by some mysterious other man to whom Royo intends to take her. Unable to overpower her or call out for help without being sent straight back to the dungeon, MC reluctantly goes along with Royo who has a horse waiting to carry both of them away into the desert.

In the Shining Sands Royo and MC cross paths with slavers returning to the city. One of the men recognises MC and Royo kills all of them before they can cause trouble. MC is horrified but Royo only shrugs. “Problem solved, princess.”

CHAPTER II:

Royo takes MC up into the Western Hills in an attempt to shake off any potential pursuers. She refuses to divulge the identity of her employer and will say only that he is a man who believes in MC's innocence. MC asks if Royo believes she is innocent, but Royo only replies that she doesn't care. Suddenly the two women are surrounded by a hunting party of wild djinn. Royo whispers to MC that they should bide their time for now and allows the djinn to escort them to their leader.

The tribe's chief is quickly charmed by Royo and agrees to let them stay there for the night, though he insists that MC is tied to a tree. During dinner two djinn children come to bring MC some food. Royo later takes MC – hands still tied – to a river to wash the grime away, claiming that her employer will be annoyed if MC is delivered to him looking so disheveled. MC notes that Royo seems to be enjoying MC's humiliation. Royo doesn't deny it. After all, she had to endure debasement at the hands of humans for years. “You will survive one night of indignity, princess.”

In the night a sudden storm rolls in. One of the children MC met before is swept into the river but is only noticed by MC, and no one will listen to her. Unable to swim but with no choice, MC leaps into the river to save the child. She manages to drag him to the bank before collapsing. As soon as the storm passes, Royo insists that she and MC move on.

CHAPTER III:

Royo and MC head up into the mountains known as the Knives. Feeling weaker and weaker, injuries from her clumsy rescue throbbing, MC finally passes out and falls to the ground. When she wakes it is in a cave, lit by firelight, resting in Royo's lap. Royo, unaware she is awake, is murmuring apologies for not realising MC had a fever and commendations for being brave enough to jump in the river and insults for being stupid enough to jump in the river.

When MC reveals that she is awake Royo nearly jumps out of her skin. She caught some rabbits earlier and has been cooking them on the fire. The two eat dinner together and Royo finally opens up a little more. She explains that her employer is Yasir, a member of the Guild that rules the city of Umar. He is famous as the human who emancipated the djinn of Umar and has taken great interest in MC, who killed the shah in the name of the slaves. MC protests that she didn't kill the shah, not for the slaves or anyone, but Royo already knows. It's simply a rumour that Yasir wants to capitalise on.

Once MC has recovered she and Royo continue their journey, though now they are more at ease with each other. Royo hits MC with her first snowball. They bathe together in a hot spring. Royo checks MC's still-healing wounds and tells her, “Next time, count on me.” She also muses that the tribe will probably remember MC's actions for a long time. It's not the kind of revolutionary action that will force change on a grand scale, but it wasn't bad. For a princess.

CHAPTER IV:

Past the Knives now, on the way to the port town of Dijarah, Royo finally tells MC the truth about Yasir's expectations. He wants MC to marry him. MC is appalled. Royo is sympathetic but firm, insisting that Yasir is a great man and her best option.

She tells the story of her young life as a criminal, slave to a gang of thieves. One day she tried to rob Yasir, just a simple merchant back then, only to have him declare that, if she helped him, he would free not just her but everyone like her. It was like being reborn, she says with a profound solemnity. MC starts to wonder if Royo is in love with Yasir.

Hamza and his men ambush them on the road. Hamza overpowers Royo but is unprepared for the headbutt she plants on him. Fleeing with MC on her back, Royo gives the soldiers the slip and comes to rest in an old barn. Royo tells MC to sleep while she keeps watch for the night but MC instead chooses to stay awake by her side.

CHAPTER V:

Once they arrive in Dijarah Royo buys dinner for them both at a local inn. A drunk man bumps into them and takes offence to Royo's lack of subservience. Royo brushes him off and suggests to MC that they take in the sights at the Fish Festival that is happening tonight, though that means delaying their journey by a day. MC is touched that Royo would do that for her, though Royo denies any sentimentality.

During the festival they walk through the lively streets and Royo seems to be on a mission to give MC as many new experiences as she can. “I wish we could see more things like this,” she says quietly, but they both know that she cannot be swayed from her duty to Yasir. The drunkard from earlier reappears with his friends, hurling insults at Royo and threatening violence. Royo handily disarms him – his friends are no help – and sends them all running.

This incident has upset Royo in a way MC has never seen before. Royo says that she is sick of people like him. She is a free woman but they'll never see her as anything but beneath them. The next day she and MC board a ship bound for Umar, Royo distant and closed off again.

CHAPTER VI:

MC is treated like nobility on the ship, at Royo's insistence. Royo says it is what Yasir would want but MC suspects this is another way for Royo to distance herself from her. Every night MC sleeps in a luxurious cabin while Royo sleeps outside.

One day, alone on deck, MC is grabbed from behind by a mysterious figure who whispers into her ear, “Justice for the shah,” before pushing her overboard. Royo arrives in time to save her but does not see the would-be assassin. She investigates the ship but cannot find any passenger without an alibi. That night she sleeps on the floor in MC's cabin and they fall asleep holding hands, a vow to protect MC on Royo's lips.

Days pass with no further attempts on MC's life. Royo is stuck to MC like glue, but their unresolved issues turn this into a volatile situation. During an argument Royo nearly kisses MC, then backs off – horrified at herself – and leaves the room. While MC waits for her to return and sorts through her own feelings, the assassin slips into the room.

CHAPTER VII:

Though MC is injured in the ensuing struggle Royo returns in time to thwart the assassin – a man hired by Hamza to shadow MC and wait for the right moment to enact “justice”. While tending to MC's new wounds Royo berates herself for being a terrible escort so far. She admits that it's because she's starting to want not to hand MC over to Yasir.

Giving in to their growing passion and feeling the looming threat of their time journeying together coming to an end, MC and Royo embrace each other and spend the rest of the voyage together in MC's cabin. Royo calls it “making the most of the time we still have”.

But eventually their stolen time together must end. The ship reaches Umar and they disembark. Though pained, Royo makes sure MC knows that they can never speak of this or do it again.

CHAPTER VIII:

When MC is brought before Yasir, it is not him alone waiting for her. Hamza stands beside him, intent on arresting MC and taking her back to Ziya for her execution. With no other way to protect herself, MC accepts Yasir's marriage proposal on the spot and Hamza leaves to avoid a diplomatic incident. Yasir introduces MC to the Guild, the seven most important people in Umar who rule the city as one. Though they should be equal, Yasir clearly leads them.

Yasir throws a ball to celebrate the engagement. MC ends up fleeing to a guest room and Royo follows. Both longing for each other, they give in to temptation but soon stop when the miserable reality of the situation becomes too heavy to ignore.

The night before the wedding MC cannot sleep and wanders Yasir's manor, wanting nothing more than to find Royo and beg her to run away with her. She finds Royo in furtive conversation with another djinn and eavesdrops on them. Through this MC learns three devastating things: 1. Royo and her co-conspirators arranged for the shah of Ziya's murder. 2. They plan to kill Yasir tomorrow before the wedding. And 3. They intend to frame MC as the culprit, and Yasir as the second husband she has had killed.

CHAPTER IX:

The manor is too abuzz with wedding preparations for MC to find anyone who will listen to her. Yasir is cloistered in his chambers and has no interest in seeing her until just before the ceremony. When it is just her, Yasir and Royo in the room, MC is surprised when nothing happens. No assassination. Things are not going according to the plan she heard last night at all.

The wedding goes ahead, vows are spoken, but everything is suddenly interrupted by a number of black-clad and masked djinn who storm the ceremony. While one stabs Yasir through the heart, killing him, another attacks MC. Royo cries out, “No!” and shields MC from the dagger, taking the wound herself. As chaos erupts throughout the crowd MC only has eyes for Royo, cradling her as she bleeds out on the ground. Through shuddering breaths Royo tells MC that she wasn't supposed to be hurt. MC confronts her about the plan but Royo says she changed the plan, not wanting MC to be a pawn in anyone's plots anymore – especially not hers. MC doesn't understand why this has happened. Royo's final words before she is dragged away by guards is, “His...coffer...”

While Royo is confined to the dungeon, MC searches Yasir's chambers. She unlocks the golden coffer by his bed and finds a mountain of evidence that he was far from the good-hearted revolutionary he pretended to be. His freeing of the slaves was a political stunt and the ultimate goal was to have them slide back into chains over time. Royo must have discovered this some time ago and has been plotting his downfall ever since. Not just his, but the downfall of all the tyrants who would keep her people enslaved. The documents also implicate the Guild in a lot of shady practices. MC takes what she knows to them and promises not to expose them; she just has one demand...

BITTER END:

MC demands that Royo is freed and pardoned. The Guild accepts and gifts MC her late husband's manor and wealth as further insurance that she will not be a problem for them.

Royo stays with MC for a while while she recovers but living in the manor in wilful ignorance of the injustice still present in Umar and beyond becomes suffocating for her. One night MC catches her trying to slip away from their bed leaving behind only a note. Royo says that she has to go, has to see the change she wants in the world be done, but promises to return if she can.

SWEET END:

MC demands her late husband's place in the Guild. With little choice, they accept. MC uses her new power to free and pardon Royo. The two of them return to Yasir's (now MC's) manor and spend most of their time working together to draw up proposals to bring before the Guild, forcing them to enact real and lasting change for the djinn. The one MC is most excited to put in place would be increasing the Guild's number by making Royo a member.

MC and Royo make no secret of their relationship, now able to be lovers openly and without shame. Royo proposes marriage –  when enough time of “mourning” has passed, of course. The large scar Royo has from the wedding day has become both a point of pride for her and a reminder not to forget that she isn't alone in this anymore.

#Wilder #Royo #Route Summary

[normal-thoughts-official]

Izzy and magnus brotp headcanons if u have any bls

i do! i dont think ive ever been asked about them before so yay!

mandatory disclaimer that this post is about the show, not the books, and idc what happens in the books and wont be taking it into consideration here

okay so i think my brotp tag for them ("crazy scientists but make it glam") pretty much sums it up. i love the concept of crazy scientists magnus and izzy. like... if magnus and alec lose braincells when theyre together, magnus and izzy gain braincells, but lose Common Sense

because they are both so into similar things like physics and biochem and technology and magic, so if the subject comes up they will start excitedly talking about idk the possibilities for time travel or something, and alec of course has no interest in those things so hes like "k imma get a drink" and when he comes back magnus and izzy are Actually Seriously Planning On Launching Themselves To Mars and he has to be like "or maybe we could discuss this here on earth???" and alec is really not used to being the voice of reason when it comes to magnus but alas

and i just love magnus and izzy as that duo who can like spend hours talking in depth about the mechanisms of time travel or cures for magical diseases or whichever subject theyre focusing on at the moment and who make a mean team when working together but who can also get Too Excited and lose it a little

other than that the other thing i like about magnus and izzy is that they can relate to each other on that sense of being reduced to The Hot Fashionista, you know? like magnus is called a lothario and izzy is always treated like her one personality trait is Sexy™ and i think both of them kind of use that perception as an armor for themselves. i have talked about that in relation to magnus several times so i dont think it bears repeating because he himself compared his eyeliner to tiger stripes and magicked makeup on when he was feeling bad and alec was coming, so. but anyway my point is that izzy is no different and that was addressed in the sh that is good and lives in my head instead of her just being reduced to eye candy the whole show

like it's obvious that izzy's whole thing with being Sexy™ is something that she uses as part of her rebel act. like, her mom is gonna reduce her to a stupid slut anyway, so why not act the part? case in point: twi!izzy. in the world where the lightwoods weren't making her and alec's life hell, she allowed herself to be a lot more casual. also the way she is always talking about how she can do everything they do in heels, how she always uses her body to be "the distraction" and/or to gather information, to lure in demons even tho thats unnecessary, etc. like i think a part of izzy feels like sex is all she's good at and so she lays that in as thick as possible. she even kind of said so when she said that one of the reasons why she liked raphael is because she knew that sex wasn't a part of the equation for him

disclaimer! dressing in revealing clothes and/or sleeping around is not bad and doesnt inherently mean that the person has Unresolved Issues that end up manifesting like that, or whatever. i think izzy also dresses as she does because she likes it and good for her! she also clearly likes sex and good for her!!!! and it definitely doesn't mean her relationships are shallow because we saw how fiercely loyal she is to those he loves, platonically or romantically. i just think that the way she built her identity around that is partially because it is a good armor - if she presents herself as shallow and concerned only with instant pleasure and looking pretty, people won't get too close. and when they treat her as such, it doesn't hurt as much because she IS laying it on thick and she IS sexy and she can use it to her advantage, even to manipulate people, so whos laughing now?

for example, in s1 in particular izzy was always acting like she cared about nothing but having fun and going to parties, yet it was obvious that izzy actually cared way more about saving the downworld and helping those she loves, particularly alec. like she presents herself as shallow and unconcerned with anything but her own pleasure but it's clear that she's willing to throw all of that away - even give herself up to get married to whoever her parents choose, her own worst nightmare - for what actually matters and drives her: her loved ones and what she thinks is right. she was okay with getting deruned for what she believed in, thats not a shallow person. so obviously that whole thing was an act, and well, why put up an act like that when it borders on annoying honestly? i think it's to protect herself, for the reasons listed above

plus, it makes her mom mad, and a part of her is obviously defining herself in opposition to her mom. if her mom wants something out of her, she does the opposite, and that applies to her clothing too

anyway all of that is to say that magnus and izzy have a similar relationship with 1- their "lothario"/"slut" personas, and 2- the way they understand fashion and clothing. it's about expressing something to others, something that protects their vulnerabilities, for the both of them. and while i don't think they (particularly izzy) are exactly dying to go deep into that subject and their armors, there is that understanding between them, you know? and under the right amount of alcohol and in a safe enough environment when its just the two of them they might even talk about it and its nice to have someone who completely understands it, you know, that pretty specific defense mechanism and being reduced to sexualized stereotypes (especially since both of them are bi. id mention both of them being brown too but izzy's racial belonging in the show is uhhhhh weird to say the least so i wont get into that)

and also just the silly things! going to parties together, going shopping together, remember when magnus and izzy were both wearing the exact same color scheme and pattern? obsessed with the idea of them color coordinating just for like, the challenge of creating outfits that dont look the same or even like theyre supposed to match but that have similars colors and textures and patterns, you know?

also they are fantastic at gifting each other and somehow always know Exactly What The Other Has Their Eyes Own. like izzy will give magnus some eyeliner and he'll be like "how did you know ive been meaning to buy that?" and she'll go "i didnt" and wink at him, and the opposite is also true. or alternatively izzy will get him a book on astronomy and he'll be like "how did you know i was hyperfixating on black holes??" and she'll be like "i didn't" and the other way around as well. alec asks for their help buying gifts for the other more often than not, but izzy realized a long time ago that magnus likes alec's gifts better than hers, because even tho they aren't always a perfect fit, they are always so thoughtful and blow him away even tho that was in no way alec's intention (see: the omamori)

also izzy is fiercely protective of alec, magnus, and their relationship as a whole, which sometimes really warms magnus' heart when she just. jumps in to their defense when someone is being bitchy, you know? it's nice that she has their back

and i think thats all i have for now but aaa i love them

#sh #shadowhunters #izzy lightwood #magnus bane #izzy lightwood meta #kinda #meta #brotp: crazy scientists but make it glam #ask #anonymous #long post

[meg-noel-art]

I just had a thought regarding she ras ending and now I'm mad. Sorry fam need to rant for a sec. Also if ive sent you a similar ask before I'm very sorry I have bad memory.

So (and I could be remembering this wrong idk I refuse to watch s5 again) when Micah finally comes back from beast island and hes too late to see glimmer before she's beamed up by Horde Prime - is we get this weird like arc (sorta) with him and frosta trying to connect and I get it - Micah is trying to grapple with the fact that his daughter is now grown up / his wife is dead? (Or in an inescapable alternate dimension?) And frosta doesn't have an adult / parent figure in her life. And I get thematically what their trying to do and why but imagine how much more touching it would be if we actually got to see some interaction between glimmer and Micah before he was chipped.

Like their first interaction after x amount of years is when Micah is brainwashed (what a copout for drama + tension).

On Top Of THAT at the ending scene of the series we have like a 20 second "Hi I'm your dad!" Moment and then glimmer goes to hang out with the BFS and be all like "we're going to bring magic back to the universe!"

Meanwhile I'm sitting over here like "you just got your dad back??? You dont want to, oh I dont know, Spend Time With Him??? Before going off world?? Maybe you want to work out that grief over losing Angella?

We were robbed of that good father / daughter content is all I'm saying.

Yeah, I agree. I mean I'd say Micah, and the relationship between Micah and Glimmer, got about as mistreated as every other character and relationship in S5.

Was Angella even mentioned once in S5? If she was I can't remember, and that probably says enough about that.

Micah getting chipped, along with Scorpia and Mermista was really lazy as a writing choice because they were all characters that:

A.) Had personal conflict to work out with Catra

B.) Unresolved plot lines (Micah)

I don't think he and Glimmer should have been cool right off the bat (that's why I don't like their reunion scene either) -- they absolutely should have gotten the weird arc they gave Micah and Frosta, to Micah and Glimmer.

For what little we know of the show's own lore (which is a whole other issue but whatever) Micah "died" when Glimmer was very young. She could have hardly known him, and even if they were close -- she's obviously not the same person she was as a child.

Beyond that, I would have been very excited to see a conflicted relationship between them. Glimmer has been afflicted her whole life by the loss of her father. It influenced her disdain for the Horde, her will to fight in the war, and her tension with Angella.

It would have been fascinating seeing her struggle with the concept of having a long lost parent back, but maybe resenting him for 'leaving' in the first place, or the struggle of WANTING to be close to him, but not even KNOWING who he is.

Micah was also implied to have been 'losing it' a little on Beast Island, not knowing how to behave correctly around Adora and Bow -- extending that to how he behaved around Glimmer -- just... NOT knowing how to BE would have been great to see.

Really, there was no chance of this though.

S5 had very little breathing room for ANY characters. SPOP s5 suffered from a bunch of the same issues TRoS did. Which is, mainly, that the plot just happens because the writers need it to. Not because any of the character motivations lead it there. Or lead it there believably. A character may make a bit of plot happen even if it makes no sense for them to influence it that way. That's still a writer bending the story to make the plot what they want. A to Z and skip all the other letters, as it were.

Which is bad writing, plain and simple.

Glimmer and Micah were never going to get a nuanced character study like this, although I wish sincerely that they had.

Father/daughter relationships arent often explored with the nuance I think they should be in media. Especially considering many young kids HAVE a lot of struggles with fucked up father figures (and I speak from my own experience.)

Idk, ultimately spops issue was using the backdrop and drama and trauma of a war to tell a story with ultimately no relation TO that issue and it shows when a lot of these complex ideas and potential dynamics get dropped or get a band aid solution or just aren't approached at all.

This is definitely a frustrating aspect of the show.

Ultimately, I think, the worst thing a series can do is make you feel dumb for ever being excited for it. And I often do feel like a fool for expecting a lot of things that I saw as a natural resolution....or just, how WRITING works. 🤷‍♀️

#yeah #long winded response for 'i agree' #it's just another victim of spops tone issue #salt #spop salt #asks #micah #glimmer #s5 #spop critical #strawberrypincushion #i hate that i liked this show man

[bottomcyclonus]

helo ro i'm here to cause issues for real. like ngl, knockout's whole thing of switching to the autobots feel just as rushed and poorly written as megatron's redemption. ive been sitting on this since i finished predacons rising but its just really implied throughout the whole thing he only does it to save himself and have a shot at being granted amnesty later on, not because he actually believed in what the autobots stood for. there's a lot that could've been said abt predacons rising but if the end goal was to make knockout an autobot they should've done it sooner and give him time to actually become conscious of what he actually thinks is the correct side, not whichever one is "winning"

Okay Opal, I saved this one because My God Do I Have THOUGHTS.

Everyday I wish Knockout was a well written character!!!! GUH. I’ve said this to you before, but Yes they absolutely should have made KO an autobot earlier, preferably during the actual show instead of the movie. We got one episode that can be seen as KO thinking about his place with the decepticon and that was when Ratchet was captured and said “thank you” to him. We see KO hesitate before saying ‘you’re welcome”, which is SO important because just earlier KO was talking about how underappreciated he was. I would’ve loved to see KO leave with Ratchet and the autobots after this arc. Yeah it’s like the last few episodes, but at least then KO is already an autobot at the start of the movie and we can see him earn his place!! That would’ve been so good.

Going off that, I think even though Knockout/Breakdown wasn’t explicitly canon in the cartoon, they could’ve shown KO’s reaction to BD’s death a lot better. That could’ve been a great motivator to get him to leave the decepticons when the time came!! Megatron just got his ass beat, Starscream was rude, and they got my partner killed could’ve been the icing on the cake to make it a bit more believable about why he left. All we get on Knockout’s feelings about Breakdown’s death is the episode where KO and Screamer accidentally make zombies. KO says “he’s [Breakdown] got no use for it” when asked by Starscream if using BD’s dead body is upsetting. This could’ve been such a good moment to show that Knockout is Mad about what happened and cared for his partner. There was a reason KO and BD both have ground modes!! They decided together!! So in Predacons Rising, On the surface KO’s talking about saving his own ass, it’s no secret that he’s full of himself anyways, but deep down he’s got some Unresolved Issues about a lot of stuff that happened. 

As for understanding the autobot cause, just working with Ratchet in that one episode could’ve been an easy way to get him to see the difference between the factions! Just!! Have KO address it! It’s that easy! Knockout being shown kindness and appreciation for a job well done, being a valued member of a team after being ordered around endlessly and getting stuck in walls and getting his body vandalized as punishments for failure would get him to see the difference in treatment and ideals pretty quickly, don’t ya think?

TL:DR; Knockout’s redemption lacks true motivation and could’ve been better with more time and better writing and understanding of his character. TF writers hire me challenge.

#Did i write an essay? Yes #do i really love ko and hate seeing him used poorly? ALSO YES #quartizinerose #askies