#just needed to vent somewhere

[giftedpink]

I'm having one of those high anxiety nights where I feel like I'm going to implode but I don't have anyone to talk about it with

I'm just super on edge because my computer isn't working and I don't know anything about computers and Google isn't helping and when I feel helpless it frustrates me to the point where I basically stop functioning like I just get worked up to tears or get destructive towards either myself or random objects

I also got little sleep last night because I went to bed too late and then had night terrors all night so i should really be in bed NOW but I'm too worked up over this stupid computer and now I'm getting anxious about other stuff like literally "I owned the ps1 scooby doo cyber chase game but did not see it last time I was in the basement, did it get lost??? I haven't needed it or used it in about 15 years but suddenly I can't sleep unless I know where it is!!!" And I just. I just want a quiet brain for a night.

*update* I searched the basement and found the scooby doo game so. I guess that's something

#just personal shit ignore this #just needed to vent somewhere

[great-british-soap-off]

There's this song that I've been listening to a lot lately.

One of those "this is the best song ever and makes me cry every time" songs. But seriously, what a beautiful arrangement both instrumentally and lyrically. Bums me out that I don't see more about this song in particular on any of my social medias because shit, this is a real tear jerker of mine. It reminds me of my recently discovered set of abandonment issues, which I won't shut up about, and not feeling good enough while losing friends or feeling so far away from the friends who I love most - the people who make my heart feel the biggest. What a fucking good track.

#feeling very emotional tonight #i just got home from being guest listed at my second show ever - both this week #the first show was one of my favorite musicians personally asking me to and work for him before hanging out one on one after the show #this show was from a longtime friend who i havent seen in three years because he wanted to introduce me to his fiance #and ask me to be part of his wedding party in a few years #we had a few too many drinks and performed together tonight #i dont know how to really process the love that my friends show me and i just feel so sad #everyday I feel so alone and I wish that I wasnt so afraid of my feelings #I love the people that im close with so much #but on a light note #i bought a really cute crochet top from a local artist tonight #dont know where I would wear it but it is cute and hot so 10/10 #lets see how long it takes sober Jeremy to remove this post #who knows #goodnight #just needed to vent somewhere

[enidsinclesbian]

always something that annoyed me for pictures is that my head is to small for my body in certain angles and it forces me to think i should loose weight and its just so fucking awkward and i hate not being conventionally photogenic so all my pictures if not taken my by good angel just look like a blob mess and fuels my self conscious even more today is a bad day

#personal #body dismorphia venting #just needed to vent somewhere #i look like a fucking toAD #UPDATE: it was my face fat from gaining weight #nothing a little liquifier tool from photoshop cant handdle

[an-anonymous-friend]

ugh can I please just have one conversation with my brother where he doesn't go on and on about his investments and crypto?

#it's especially annoying since he goes about it trying to convince me that it's a good thing #and it's just the same circular thing where he'll be like: the banks are bad #and I'm like: I agree #and he's like: well then you should love crypto cause it challenges the banks #and then I mention the reasons I don't like crypto and why it doesn't solve the issues I have with banks #it's like that every time #he has good intentions most of the time #but I can palpably feel him being pulled more right #and it's so frustrating #cause he respects my opinion so I feel like I need to keep informed about all this stuff in order to have counterarguments #and I just want to have a normal conversation #anonymous-friend-stuff #just needed to vent somewhere

[conditionaljewel]

like idk

ive been questioning whether i am aro/ace/something different for the past few months in silence, for myriad reasons, just trying to sort my identity and who i am out

and lately the particular yearning for a close personal intimate relationship with someone has been getting stronger to the point where i flirted with a complete stranger on twitter this weekend

and so i feel like should try dating again i *guess* but the issue that i'm running into is still the fact that i genuinely still dont trust people because of the state i live in and the way i identify, moreso than ever now.

so the questioning comes into play in that idk i just dont feel the strongest desires to have sex like i thought i did when i was younger and things are different now, and i have a new appreciation for so many things in life and exploring who i am without having those feelings. so to that end i could survive without constant physical contact as long as everything else was there, because at the end of the day i just wanna be desired intensely and completely whether its up close or from afar. and idk i just build better relationships from a distance first before meeting someone and i can always travel to meet someone, or ultimately go to them permanently if it worked out.

idk. i just wanna figure the romance part out because that's only been once ive truly experienced love, and i just ... i need to figure some shit out if i want to make changes in my life that'll make me happy.

idk are long distance-seeking dating apps a thing? i'm hesitant to try any of the websites like okcupid again because of bad experiences in the past, but like... idk i suppose its better than nothing?? better yet haha who got a crush on me and just hasn't admitted it yet? it aint too late

#idk #text post #journal post #i cant be bothered to say more in here #just needed to vent somewhere #anyway carry on

[c1nnamonangels]

everyone always says it gets better and i’ve always tried and tried to believe that. and it does get better to some extent. i didn’t think i would make it to twenty, and now i’m living in a cute apartment in my favorite city, and attending my dream college. i have loving friends and family, and the cutest kitty in the world.

but i still feel a giant gaping void inside my soul. it’s like no matter what i do and how hard i try and how many medications i take, i’m just fundamentally WRONG as a human being. i have been out as gay for years and i still hate myself for it, despite finally having acceptance from others. in fact, i hate most things about myself.

i go out and smile and laugh and compliment strangers and tell my friends i love them but at the end of the night, i look in the mirror and don’t know the person looking back at me. i stay in and i drink and drink and i get high and i starve and i purge to feel some semblance of control, or contentment, but there’s nothing there.

my life is completely fine, in fact, my life is great! but i feel nothing at all. and when i do feel, i feel rage and disgust and hatred and contempt. i just want to be better. why am i not better?

#my diary #just needed to vent somewhere #anyways i’ll probably just get drunk and listen to elliott smith

[silverdragonoid]

In 12h I gotta write two exams for which preparations haven't worked out at all and which severely impact my mental health in a negative way. I don't have much hope for passing, but who knows, maybe I will somehow, and if not it's actually okay, I can try again. This has been my worst exam phase so far - I'm not looking forward to the future. Either way, I can finally return to writing fanfics tomorrow, and that's a win, right?

#just needed to vent somewhere #many tears were shed and more will be shed today #i feel like sleeping and crying is all i can do atm

[tarosin666]

it’s the usual again. i feel so inadequate, i’m doing worse at work, i can’t draw, i don’t have the energy to stream often enough for relevancy, i am not even engaging

nothing is just feeling right, and then i started having health complications but instead of any support, i am blamed for it-- which is true anyway, i know i did this to myself, but sometimes it feels nice to hear someone say “it’s okay, i hope you’ll get better”

past emotions are haunting me again and all i can surround myself with for comfort are ghosts

not gonna lie, i wish that mini heart attack i had on stream last week actually did me in

i don’t really wanna live anymore-- i know i said i would do better for the sake of my best friend who died similarly, because i don’t want to disappoint him

but that ‘s all i can ever do, i always disappoint people, at least i will just be able to disappoint him one last time

it’s not like anything really is tethering me in this world anymore, my cats and dogs can be adopted by family friends if my mom doesn’t want to take care of them anymore when i die, my partner can move on and he still has his other boyfriend who can appreciate him better, my career path has been stuck on a dead end for a long time, i already finished playing the games i loved and wanted to play

i’m just waiting for the inevitable, or maybe i should just do it myself

#typical oni thoughts #just needed to vent somewhere #no one follows me here anyway

[oh-katsuki]

yk when someone dies and you just have to... sit with it.. and you're like... how do i tell people something is wrong. how do i tell people who never met them or knew them or spoke to them that something happened. and it feels selfish somehow to even talk about it out loud but at the same time for some reason you feel like you have to. like somehow you're telling a lie or being disrespectful or being self-indulgent. when the reality is that you just don't want to be alone in grief. but they didn't know them and even after saying something, you're alone anyway.

#i don't even know what to do with myself #for some reason #talking abt it here feels less intrusive than calling a friend and talking about it #but it still feels selfish for some reason #even though i know i just need to find a way to process #and i can't help but be like.. well i won't tell anyone because what if it's a mistake? #what if she's fine? and at home somewhere or in her kitchen singing? #or practicing for her next show #idk grief is weird #and i hate that i'll have to go to another friend's funeral. #tw: grief #tw: death #vent #personal

[ghoulinfuschia]

Some brain vomit

#honeybee rambles #I had a lot of nervous energy in my system and I needed to throw it somewhere #This isnt a vent piece btw this is just brain donk #We gucci #honeybee doodles #CW: Eyestrain

[no-truce-with-the-heroes]

i can't believe there's still people out there who genuinely think Ochako would "kill Toga on sight" at this point

like, okay, there's the anime-only people who aren't aware of manga developments or are actively avoiding spoilers, and of course there's all the people who clearly stopped giving a shit ages ago (yet somehow still feel completely secure making blanket declarations about a franchise they no longer keep up with???)

but even then, and even if you're not a shipper or just don't like the characters-- how can anyone have ever believed that makes any sense ever? like we're not even talking self-defense apparently? just "on sight"? who do you think Ochako is, the Punisher in pink?

like i don't think i'm especially media literate myself, but-- how is it possible for people to be this bad at reading where a narrative is going?

because of course that's exactly what the Togachako plotline was leading up to, clearly the ultimate endpoint of developing Toga Himiko as a sympathetic villain important to Ochako's heroic actualization was a teenager unquestioningly enacting the extrajudicial murder of another teenager

that's exactly what MHA is all about, right? that's the sort of person Ochako is, the kind of hero that she wants to be? that's definitely good storytelling and not at all inane or grotesque? ugh

#don't want to cause/deal with any drama and it'd be doubly not worth it on a post that wasn't even about togachako #i just need to vent somewhere or i'll stew on it for ages #an offhanded comment in tags is so not worth this amount of anger and yet ohhhh i am mad #honestly this is probably less about that post and more about all the similar shit i saw on That Hellsite when the 391+ spoilers dropped #bakugou stans i have so much respect for you all i would be dead within a day if i had to deal with this BS as often as you do #mha spoilers #bnha spoilers #not really any actual spoilers but ig the vague allusions are still worth tagging for the previously-mentioned anime people #rest of the post sounded like shit opinions too but i didn't really get the whole context and not interested in looking further #this shit has already lived in my head rent-free long enough #no but seriously as a togachako OTP shipper there are in fact a lot of rational reasons for why the ship shouldn't work #canon is currently laughing maniacally in the face of your rationality but at least those reasons do make sense #why would you choose this goddamn Ochako slander as your reasoning instead

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ah yes! the joys of executive dysfunction and something being Fundamentally Broken In Your Braincase!

#quick vent Look Away Nothing To See Here #i just needed to place my emotions somewhere before i really started to spiral #texts from cherished friends should not cause nausea-level anxiety! and yet! #here i am! running away from the ever-present miasma of guilt and stress! #you know a few months ago i was like 'im going to be better about responding im going to do better' #i Immediately started doing Worse! #i think i stressed myself out too much #pretty much every relationship i have ends up completely deteriorating due to my own insecurities and guilt and fucked up brain <3 #ah yes and how could i forget the Commitment Issues and Emotional Block #mentally i am banging my head into a wall #but its fine Its Fine #i mean its not. its really not. but sometimes it seems like the harder i try the harder i fail #which is something i should be used to by now! #okay so it looks like i Am Indeed spiraling so #i am going to go... list some good things in this world and uhhh #well i dont have the car this weekend so cant go for a drive and some boba. um. #i need to organize my room table Yes that sounds distracting and falsely productive #not gonna tag this with anything actually. #love treating tumblr like my personal diary #ah yes its just me. my personal feelings. and the couple thousand people that follow me. #perhaps i will also buy something online with one of the gift cards i found the other day #buttons from michaels!!! i need buttons! i will go do that! #with the knowledge that i have unopened messages to respond to looming in the back of my mind like a noose! yippee yahoo!!! #gonna... turn of replies/rbs just this once since its just a Vent #i just needed to get it Out yk? not looking for anything other than relieving pressure on my brain #ok it looks like i cant turn of replies for individual posts #just... pretend you didnt see this for both our sakes <3 #look away look away

[radiance1]

Just saw a snippet of that Gotham War thing going around. I do not like it, and I have feelings, I should be asleep right now but I have feelings and I find myself not even trying to care about characterization or writing quality right now.

So it'll most likely be pretty fucking SHITTY.

===

"Jason!" Batman ran to Jason's side, crouching down as he immediately began to assess the wounds. "You'll be okay, just hold on for a bit longer."

"You're a shit father, you know that, Bruce?" Jason chuckled, a wet thing that spilled just a little more blood from his lips as he grabbed onto one of his father's arms. "Don't."

"Jason-"

"Nah, this is the end for me, Bruce." Jason grunted, pain flashing through his body as he shifted himself. "And for god's sake, take off that damn mask. Nobody's 'round to see your ugly mug." He half shrugged. "Besides me of course."

Batman barely even thought more of it as his hands moved upwards to push away his mask, leaving his face bare to the world. His face was pinched, as if he couldn't decide what expression to make as soon as the mask came off. "Jason-"

"Save it. You can't change my mind about this, Bruce." Jason tightened his hand around Bruce's arm, enough for that entire hand to go numb, either that or the blood loss. He couldn't tell. "Don't try and bring me back either, Bruce. Don't let anyone else try to bring me back either."

"It doesn't have to be this way. You have so much to live for-"

Jason hissed. "Don't give me that generic ass speech, Bruce. Tired of it." Jason shook his head, reaching a hand up to try and remove his helmet, he failed. So Bruce reached up to do it for him. "Thanks, I guess."

Jason breathed in a deep breath, his lungs burning in protest yet seemingly wanting more as he coughed. Specks of blood flying from his mouth as his body screamed in protest from sudden jostling.

"Jason-"

"Hey Bruce." Bruce shut his mouth. "I'm scared, you know, of what's going to be waiting for me on the other side. Pretty shit, not gonna lie, though dying once would've made it easier but-" Jason let out a pained wheeze in place of a laugh. "But I guess not."

"You don't have to die, Jason."

"I know." Jason tilted his head towards Bruce, his vision foggy and spotty. "I know I don't have to, but I want to. Alright, but I'm still scared, scared of death. Pretty fucking cowardly huh?"

"Everyone's scared of something, Jason." Bruce reached a hand forward, moving Jason's head into a more comfortable position that wouldn't strain his neck further than it already was. He made to move his hand away, but paused as he felt his son sink into his touch, however slightly.

His hand stayed as one of Jason's eyes lowered.

"You would know a lot about that, wouldn't you" Jason let out another pained wheeze as it got harder and harder to breath. "You make people piss their beds just from hearing your name, of course you would."

"Jason." He watched as his son's breathes got shallow, a longer and longer pause between every intake of break.

"I'm sorry, Bruce."

"What for, Jason?"

"For not being a better son." Jason coughed harshly, his chest convulsing with each and every one.

Bruce was silent for moment, before he sighed. "You're a fool, Jason." He moved forwards, pulling Jason towards his chest as he rested his chin on his son's head. "Because you were the one of the best goddamn sons I could've ever asked for, and if it were up to me." Bruce tightened his hold as he felt the body in his hold go slack. "I would've chosen you again and again."

Bruce could feel tears falling from his eyes as he held Jason close, finally managing to choke out the words he so desperately wanted to say, even as they now would fall only on deaf ears.

"I love you, Jason."

===

@stealingyourbones YOU. Get the FUCK over here, I've decided to make this your problem.

#bruce wayne #jason todd #my writing #I don't know man I just caught fucking FEELINGS and this SHITTY THING HAPPENED #I need to vent these SOMEWHERE or they would plague my ass for a fuck ton of a while #That being said it's 3:22 AM so I shall now head to sleep.

[aly-the-writer]

...oh.

Just hit the part where Gale talks about how clean his tower is now again and it hit different. How he laughs it off but...like....cleaning, getting rid of stuff.

It's just a throw away line, but this guy collects bits and trinkets and books like no-tomorrow (just look at his camp spot!) and he's delighted by those things and, well, he's not exactly the master of organization over there. Him not having things - well, it's not about the things he's giving up - it's about the fact that he'd given up so why on earth would things matter? Even if they had been special or important to him once.

Gale is a depressed, burned out GT kid who got screwed over by the system (and person in this case because the person is the system and the system is the person) who originally told him he was special and has completely and utterly had his sense of self-worth nuked (hah) by a mistake that he really wasn't in a position to be able to avoid given all of the above circumstances because what other path could he have possibly taken and not been a failure for not trying anyways?

He is desperately trying to keep his burn out from hurting or disappointing any more people and he thought that isolation is the only way to really do that.

And his sole lifeline to any semblance of actual sanity seems to be his cat.

UGH....I AM GALE. GALE IS ME. FUCK. No fucking wonder I want to cry when my Tav tells Gale he's worthy exactly as he is and again when our wizard wonder starts believing it.

#gale dekarios #BG3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 gale #mild spoilers #personal stuff too #having feelings and need to vent them somewhere #mental illness #tw: sucidal thoughts #adding some extra tags here for triggers just in case

[frc-ambaradan]

A few thoughts on Thrawn’s portrayal in Ahsoka

First thing first: I think they absolutely nailed him.

Lars Mikkelsen is perfect and I don’t think there could ever been another actor fit to bring Thrawn alive. We’re talking about the same man who got an Annie Nomitation for his voice performance in Rebels. He knows the character, he knows how Thrawn speaks, the way he moves, he knows how to use silence... and he absolutely kills it!

And, let’s forget about the new canon for a moment, shall we? 

This Thrawn looks like he just jumped out of “Heir to the Empire”. 

Looks like Filoni’s going for the more Moriarty-like, more evil Legends Thrawn. And, as much as I love the new books, that’s the Thrawn we first met and loved, the character who became the standard bearer of the Expanded Universe, one of the greatest villains of the franchise second only to Darth Vader and one of the best characters in Sci-fi fiction. That’s a guy who’s politely conferring with you a moment before and the second later he’s having a tractor beam technician be dismembered by his bodyguard.

Pellaeon never even saw Rukh move. Pieterson certainly never had time to scream. From farther down the crew pit came the sound of someone trying valiantly not to be sick. Thrawn glanced over Pellaeon's shoulder gain and gestured, and the silence was further broken by the sound of a pair of stormtroopers coming forward. "Dispose of it," the Grand Admiral ordered them, turning away from Pieterson's crumpled body and pinning Colclazure with a stare. "The error, Ensign," he told the other softly, "has now been corrected. You may begin training a replacement." Timothy Zahn, Heir to the Empire (1991)

The infinite pauses Mikkelsen makes, with Thrawn just staring at his interlocutor in silence, are so unnerving and so perfectly in character. Pick any page of the Thrawn trilogy where the Grand Admiral’s talking to Pellaeon and you’ll find the same feeling of fear and malaise. 

And guys, Thrawn was never meant to be likeable. He’s not a puppy, he’s a wolf. He’s someone to be admired for his tactical genius, to be respected for his abilities; you can understand his reasons and his way of thinking but still he’s someone to be wary of and to be feared. You can talk with Thrawn. He will listen and will understand your point, but once you find yourself between him and his goal, you’re dead.

Not surprisingly, Grand Admiral Thrawn was inspired by General Rommel. And they indeed are very similar (I might say they’re basically clones ^^): both military geniuses coming from the lower ranks of society and raising to the highest ranks of the army by sheer talent and yet pretty much naive when it comes to politics and highly opposed by other high ranking officers driven mostly by pure envy (hell! Rommel was taken in higher regard by the British than by his fellow German high ranking officers! In fact, Rommel kept his rank only because Hitler liked him, just like Thrawn did because Palpatine liked him).

Erwin Rommel and Mitth'raw'nuruodo are basically the same person in two different universes...

Both Thrawn and Rommel are well mannered, honourable and very professional officers, considerate to their troops and respectful of their adversaries and as such highly esteemed by both their men and their enemies. That doesn’t change the fact that they both have their fair amount of atrocities on their shoulders, they work for the most evil governments of their age and both have pretty close personal relationships with the Emperor and with Adolf Hitler. And still. You can fight on the wrong side of history and still be an honorable man.

That said, I’ve read complains about Thrawn's physique and yes, I didn’t like his belly either when he first showed up but that was just for a fraction of a second ‘cause the moment he opened his mouth I was totally sold.

Why? Because physical prowess isn’t Thrawn’s main characteristic. Yes, he’s a very well trained warrior and a martial arts expert, but the reason why he’s such a great character is his charisma, it’s his brain and, if I'm right, the Thrawn we have in Ahsoka is the evil cat- ops, I mean ysalamiri-petting Thrawn ^^.

And guys, people do age, even chiss. Thrawn’s 70 years old, he has every right to get old and look old. And that belly looks like a very deliberate choice to me.

Ten years separate Rebels Thrawn from Ahsoka Thrawn, ten years and an inter-galactical hyperspace jump. People change. And get old.

Also, you must consider the fact that Thrawn was wrapped in the purrgill's tantacles when they jumped into hyperspace, so it's safe to assume that he substained heavy injuries and that his body was heavily affected by it. We also don't know how well he fared while stranded for ten years in an unknown galaxy, meddling with stuff he should stay kilometers away from (let's face it: it never ends well when he starts meddling with the Force or anything he has no real grip or power on).

I don't know, but I don't think chiss are made to fly in hyperspace.

So, on a closing note... is Thrawn's make-up perfect? No.

Is that such a big problem? No. What the make-up doesn’t achieve, the actor’s performance will.

And hear me out, there is room for improvement and I’m sure they will fill the gap. They did with Ahsoka… remember how everyone criticized her lekku in The Mandalorian? That was because of an actual, practical reason, but they did manage to correct it and they did improve it. Ahsoka looks great now. And just how they did with her, they will improve Thrawn’s appearance as well.

It’s impossible to nail something at first try. And it's impossible to appease everyone.

I work as a digital artist and I can tell you that sometimes you just can’t do the best you can, because maybe the budget doesn’t allow it or there’s just too little time to do it (or people just keep asking change after change 😒), but once you’ve got the basis, and I think they’ve got pretty solid basis with Thrawn, to improve the look of him adding details and correcting those little errors is gonna be a much easier job and you’ll, see, he’s gonna look much better in the next season.

Sometimes things don’t need to be perfect to work. And Mikkelsen’s Thrawn works, because it’s Mikkelsen and because it’s Thrawn.

#omg #forgive the screed #i just need to talk #i need to vent my excitement somewhere #sorry ^^' #thrawn #mitth'raw'nuruodo #grand admiral thrawn #lars mikkelsen #my thoughts #heir to the empire #star wars legends #erwin rommel #star wars rebels #lars mikkelsen is an absolute monster #and his thrawn is perfect <3 #ahsoka #star wars

[thefanciestborrower]

Man,,,I’m so tired

#there’s always something going on somewhere in this community that I need to care about #Some problematic person or friend groups who hate each other #Characters you’re allowed or not allowed to draw #You have to like vore one of two hyper specific ways and if you go outside of that then YOU’RE the problematic one #Each part of the community keeps splitting off smaller and smaller and they all hate each other it feels like #Main fandoms hate you for existing and OCs get headcannoned beyond recognition #Idk how to tag this I’m just having a moment #I don’t even want to be in the ‘vore community’ I just want to post stuff #And not fear for my life if I post something slightly out of the norm #Like I like fatal and reformation and I like slightly spicier stuff between couples and I like familial and teens being goofy and #It just feels impossible to exist like that idk #Might delete later tbh #I’m just tired of all the rules and the feuds and the fighting #vent post