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wardenparker · 5 months

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Vampire Waltz - ch 9

Max Phillips x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

A mysterious inheritance, sprawling mansion, eccentric roommates, friendly bat, and coven of New England witches are the newest chapter of your life after being unceremoniously dumped and kicked out by your boyfriend. For Max, the biggest change in his life is you, and what exactly he's going to do about the fact that he is stuck living with you as long as his sire continues to punish him for that incident at his last office...

Rating: Mature, but this blog is always 18+ Word Count: 10.6k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this series: deceased parents, cursing, food, blood and blood drinking, depictions and references to abusive relationships. Anxiety and trauma responses. Self-worth issues.* Family drama (past), revelations, family estrangement, the truth will always come out. Summary: The revelation of your grandfather's identity is not the only secret that will unfurl itself into your life. Notes: This week has just been another shitshow of utter chaos, but it is LOVELY chaos, so I hope you enjoy the chapter my darlings! As always, sorry for any errors I miss. I’m just an exhausted little nerd doing my best 🧡

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8

"How are you here?" And, more over, how are you real? But one thing at a time. The fuzzy edges of the memory that washed up on the shores of your dreams are still nudging at your waking mind.

He sighs sadly, his eyes shuttering slightly as he reflects on what has brought him back to you. “It was only because of your abuela’s sacrifice, muñequita. It was the only way to lift the spell. She loved you more than anything else on this earth.”

"I don't understand." Whether it's the fog of waking up so suddenly or the confusion of memories and dreams and daydreams all slamming together in your mind, you can't quite tell.

“I am your grandfather.” He tells you with a charming grin. “Some call me ‘The Thief’, since it has been years since anyone but the people in this house have known my name. But you always called me ‘Yayo’.” He bows slightly as he tells you his real name.

“Holy shit.” Max hisses, his eyes wide as he stares at his sire. The pieces are clicking into place, but even he is shocked at how close you really are to the man who had created him, who had saved him when he had been destroyed. How was it possible? A vampire cannot have children, at least that’s what he’s been told.

"But...I made you up." That's the rational half of your brain. The part of you that knows dreams aren't real, that fantasies can't come true through manifestation alone, and that love is a feeling rather than a universal force. But the other half of you? The witch who was born of witches who once conjured fire with nothing more than a thought and bare hands? That part of you knows he's telling the truth. "Didn't I?"

Again, another sigh. A habit he had picked up from his late soulmate. The human-ifcation as she liked to call it. “No. When your mother took you away, banned us from seeing you, the only way I could visit was through your dreams. Apparently the spell she cast had also made you forget about myself and your grandmother.”

Max is tense beside you and you cover his hand with one of yours, squeezing it as if it might reassure him that everything is okay. You can feel that intrinsically even if the logic for how you know that escapes you. "I think..." Like a rapid-fire collage on the inside of your mind, flashing of visits with your grandparents burn to life as very real memories instead of gauzy wisps of dreams. "I—um—" Looking between the two men, realizing that you're in bed and in your pajamas, you look back to Yayo with wide eyes. "You're not a witch, are you?" You ask, needing confirmation more than you actually need to be told. The memories are there in your mind, but they aren't clear.

Chuckling quietly, he shakes his head. “No witch.” He promises, letting his razor-sharp fangs descend from his gums to show off his true nature. “A vampire who was soulmates with a witch, just as my protégé.” His eyes shift to Max. “Now you understand why you were brought back.”

The next puzzle piece clicks into place in your mind and you gasp, looking over to Max with wide eyes. "Are you— I mean— did he?—" You sputter inelegantly, running out of breath all at once as you try to stutter out a coherent question. " Your sire is my...grandfather?"

“I didn’t know.” Max shakes his head in awe, apparently nearly speechless considering he knows that this vampire is older than any other that he knows.

"There is much to say." Yayo's eyes move between you on the bed, coming back to you after a few seconds and holding your gaze. Not in an entrancing way, but with the soft eyes of a doting grandfather. "We can talk anywhere you like, muñequita. But when you were a little girl you were very grouchy before breakfast."

"I should at least get dressed, I guess." For the second morning in a row, you are starting out disoriented and with an unexpected visitor. But this time you're not afraid. Curious? Oh yes. But there is none of that deep, intrinsic fear that there was yesterday.

“Then I shall meet you in the dining room.” Yayo bows and turns to disappear through the door like a ghost, completely silent as he moves.

It's icy cold around you when he sweeps out of the room without a sound, and you turn to Max in wide-eyed confusion. "Um..." you huff, shaking your head. You want to ask how he had possibly gotten in the house, but that seems like a moot point by now. "Good morning?"

“It seems like there is a lot going on.” He snorts slightly, reaching out to you to stroke your arms lightly. “How are you feeling?”

"Weird." The sense of safety that you have with Max is absolute, and you nearly collapse into his side to beg silently for more of his comforting touch. "I dreamt about him again last night. And it was a dream. But it felt so real..."

“I don’t think it was a dream, Queenie.” Max murmurs softly. “I think your grandfather made you relive a memory. He was here, all night.”

"He was here?" When your head pops up again you want to harrumph about having two vampires sit around watching you sleep, but as soon as you think it you think again about how safe that is. And how no one else in the world would probably feel as safe around creatures who drink blood to survive as you do. "Max?" Your head tilts slightly and you find his eyes. "Have you ever known your sire to lie?"

“Never lie.” Max tells you. “Sometimes he doesn’t tell you everything. He’s…enigmatic, but not a liar.”

"I remember my parents fighting," you tell him quietly, pressing a kiss to the tip of Max's shoulder before you push back the blankets to crawl out of bed and find some clean clothes. You're doubly glad that you took a bath last night. It had helped you relax and be sleepy for bed, but now it takes away the need to wash this morning. "That's what I dreamt about. My parents fighting with my grandparents." Right before you disappear around the corner into your dressing room, you turn to look at him with sadness in your eyes. "About me."

“Families sometimes don’t agree.” Max can understand that you are hurt by that. Zipping over to you to wrap his arms around you. “But you can find out why now. And….” He bites his lip. “You have family still.”

"One person." Though you nod against his chest, knowing that he's right as you hug him back. "It was too much to let me know both of them, I guess."

“He said something about a sacrifice.” Max doesn’t want to cloud your opinion before you talk to his sire. “I know that it was Cookie’s choice to stop taking his blood. He did not agree, but he could not stop her.”

"Allison said Cookie...abuela was trying to break some kind of spell. They were working together trying to combine their magic to make it happen but they couldn't." Realizing that you were technically brought here under false pretenses is odd, but you can't find it in yourself to be upset about it. Apparently, this situation is far more complicated than you knew.

“Then we should hear the unfiltered story from his mouth.” Max encourages, giving you a small smile as he reels from the developments of the morning.

"I guess that is what breakfast will be for." Looking at your closet, you look back to Max with determination. "You said your sire was a big deal in the vampire world, right? I should...try to dress up? Dress respectfully?"

“Dress in whatever makes you feel good.” He arches a brow. “This is your grandfather, important vampire or not. Your imaginary friend isn’t so imaginary anymore.”

"What's your favourite color?" It seems like a silly question, but in the face of so much chaos you're looking for an anchor. Something solid to hold onto in the storm. And if that thing is as simple as wearing your soulmate's favorite color, then that's what you're going to do.

Max smirks slightly as he leans against the door frame. “Blood red.” He teases for a second before he shakes his head. “No— actually, yellow is my favorite color.”

"Okay." Yellow...you have a few yellow things somewhere...you can definitely find something, at least. For now you reach up to hug Max as tightly as you can and exhale an unsteady breath. "I'm just going to get dressed and then I'll meet you downstairs?

“Of course, sweetheart.” Max understands that you might need a few moments to yourself. He nods and then disappears out of the doorway to dress himself and go down to the dining room.

The photograph of you and your mother that stares back from your vanity mirror is a tantalizing route back to those memories that still escape you. You find yourself staring at it for longer than you should, tracing the curve of your mother's face and seeing the way that Yayo's curls somehow had ended up on her head. How had you never noticed? Or were those curls just something you found so comforting that it simply hadn't occurred to you not to give them to your imaginary friend? But he isn't imaginary at all. He's so very real. And he is your family.

Sighing, you dig into your dresser until you come out with an amber colored cable knit sweater and a pair of dark brown corduroy pants. The comfortable ones that Derek hated because he said they weren't putting your best foot forward. Fuck that. You've always loved these pants. If comfort is a way to take back power, you are absolutely here for it.

Max is dressed in a flash, downstairs and waiting for you. His eyes fixed on the stairs as he tries not to ask his sire any questions that you might wish to know the answer to while he waits.

As quickly as you can, you head downstairs, only to find both men standing at the bottom of the grand staircase instead of sitting in the dining room as you expected them. "Waiting for me?" You ask, knowing the answer but feeling unduly self-conscious about it all of a sudden.

"I would wait to eternity for you muñequita." He promises, soft affection glowing as he steps forward and offers you his arm. While he understands the modern customs and traditions, he still prefers his way of being. Set in his ways about some things, and the opportunity to touch you is still a delightful experience. "Your breakfast is nearly ready, and I believe the tea service is already on the table."

“Mrs. Taylor is wonderful.” And you’ll never downplay that, especially not now that you realize your housekeeper has been his housekeeper for a very long time. Taking his arm instead of Max’s feels strange only in that you aren’t used to Yayo being solid. In all the thoughts you have of him, he is a figment of your imagination and not much more. Realizing that there is more at stake here is a lot to process.

“She is.” He won’t deny that in the least. “She took care of your mother when she was a child as well.” Since she had been with them for so long, Mrs. Taylor had known the entire history of the family.

“Mom…grew up here?” It’s only a few steps into the dining room, and Yayo pulls out your chair for you before sitting down on your right. Max takes the seat on your left and you note quietly that there are only three places set. Allison and Eddie must have gone back to Allison’s house last night after their date.

Settling beside you, his eyes are focused on you. “This house was built in 1852.” He explains. “When I found out that your grandmother was pregnant with your mother. She gave birth to her in this house.”

“What?” The math doesn’t add up. Not at all. The woman you remember — the woman you have photos of — was maybe in her mid-30s at the oldest. “Mom was…over a hundred and fifty years old?”

“Yes.” He knows it’s nearly impossible to imagine, but it’s true. “Your mother was half vampire, half witch and like me, nearly did not age.”

“Will you…” you sigh softly, and pour yourself a cup of tea with shaky hands. “Will you start at the beginning, Yayo? Please?”

Again, there is a carafe of blood, and he pours himself and Max a cup before he pick up the elegant tea cup and smiles slightly, remembering how he had bought this set for his Cookie. “When I was a young man, I was a thief.” He tells you, wanting you to understand the background of your family line. “The best. I was never caught save for one time.” He flashes a grin. “When I stole from the Devil.”

The Devil. For the moment — and for as unbelievable as the rest of the story seems to already be — you suspend your disbelief and nod. “How long ago was this?” You ask, trying politely to get a handle on exactly how old Yayo is.

"201 B.C." He answers with a small smirk. "I am quite a bit older than most would guess." Even Max's eyes widen dramatically, unaware that his sire was such an ancient vampire. "As punishment for my sin, the Devil decided to make an example of me." He takes a sip of his blood and pauses dramatically. "I was the first of our kind. The undead. The first vampire to walk the earth."

When you glance at Max it’s very clear that your soulmate fully believes the story that is being told, and you would never take Max for easily misled. More over, he knows a hell of a lot more about vampires than you do. So you sip your tea in contemplative silence for a long moment before sitting back in your chair again. “And you met Ms. Brown—Cookie—that is…abuela…in the 18th century?” The timeline here is mind boggling, but you’re trying your best here. To understand it all. To believe it.

“Part of my punishment was that I would walk without my soulmate for over a thousand years.” He snorts elegantly. “Apparently a few hundred extra years is no matter to the Devil.”

“And abuela was born a witch?” The genetic differences between witches and humans had dwindled over time to become very subtle. The powers they manifested were less powerful, too, and you regret now that you never listened more deeply to your father when he tried to tell you about your ancestors. Your mother’s intense desire to live a human life had overruled that sort of talk as you got older.

“Yes.” The proud gleam to the ancient vampire’s eyes reappears and he caresses the edge of the teacup. “Cookie was formidable. A powerful witch. When we met, she had come to the colonies because her own coven had cast her out. Scared of the power she possessed.”

“She was remarkable.” Mrs. Taylor appears in the doorway from the pantry with a plate of fixed breakfast for you, as the only warm blooded person at the table, and a bowl each of fruit and raw nuts for the vampires to pick at with their blood. “Good morning, sir. I am glad to see you have decided to leave the tower.”

“So that’s where you’ve been camped out.” Max snorts, smirking at his sire. “Dramatic as always.”

“Is that why Renee looked like she’d seen a ghost when I asked her about the locked room?” You thank Mrs. Taylor softly, as always, and inhale the beautiful scent of the last pieces of quiche from yesterday — one of your favourite leftovers that you had begged her to save — alongside a fresh salad, a few slices of bacon, and a warm croissant. She has outdone herself, as always.

Your grandfather clicks his tongue at Max, slightly annoyed at making it sound dramatic, even though it is. "I had a room next to Cookie's spell room. It was so that I would not bother her, but I could rest easier closer to her." He frowns slightly, still getting used to talking about his beloved in the past tense.

“Max is going to help me turn the teahouse into a little spell cottage.” The urge to be excited and proud for something you’re sharing with your soulmate is overwhelming, simply because after yesterday morning — and so many years before — there was not much to be excited about. And certainly no family to share anything with.

He smiles, a flash of fang and white teeth. No longer hiding them now that he's not just in your subconscious. "That is wonderful, muñequita." He agrees. "Every witch would have her own space. Your mother preferred her room, no other would do, when she would work on her magic."

“Her room was the one with the silver wallpaper, wasn’t it?” Somehow there is no doubt of that in your mind. The powerful feeling of belonging and comfort you had gotten from it when you first walked through the house now makes perfect sense, and you’re glad that you didn’t choose it for yourself. From now on you can go and sit in your mother’s room when you miss her, and that almost brings happy tears to your eyes. Because gods above, you have missed her so much.

"It was." He smiles as he realizes you must have felt a connection to the room. A presence. Since his daughter had passed, he had hoped that the feeling of her spirit - her early spirit - would remain. It and you were all he had left of his beloved child. "The portait hanging above the bed is your mother, nieta. She was twenty when it was painted."

“Abuela kept it close.” It isn’t even a question. You understand completely that that is how it ended up in the bedroom that once belonged to your grandmother and is now yours. “Was it for when she came out? Or…did Mom ever have anyone? Before Dad, I mean?” It’s a delicate topic but an important one, and something pulling at the back of your mind pushes you to ask it now instead of waiting.

“Your mother had a soulmate that she was with.” The memory makes him frown, his brow furrowing slightly.

“She did?” That is startling news, considering she always told you that she didn’t have one. But apparently there are a great many things your mother didn’t tell you.

"It is probably my greatest regret." There is a dramatic sigh for show from the vampire and he sets his tea cup down. "I, like any parent, made mistakes, muñequita." He admits. "Like Cookie and I, we believed that your mother was destined to be mated with a vampire. By the time she had come - which was a miracle - there was a large coven of witches and vampires. Despite my best efforts, there had been tensions between the two groups." He bites his lip. "Our nature, our bloodlust, craves the blood of a witch more than anything else." He reveals. "It's nearly ambrosia to a vampire and because of that, there had been some hard feelings among the covens because of our...less than responsible vampires."

"You believed she was meant to be mated with a vampire even though there were objections to vampire and witches interacting?" It isn't a judgement call, you're just trying to understand. Apparently your little suburban family with typical holiday dinners (and atypical holidays) was far less typical than you thought. "And Mom...didn't want that?"

"Vampire and witches are stronger together." He tells you quietly. "Especially for us. My line. We were the only ones capable of having children. Of creating a lineage." He sighs again. "She was in love with him. Emanuel was a smart, talented young man. Her mother and I were proud when we discovered they had matching marks."

"So what happened, then? Did something happen to him?" It must have, otherwise your father would have been a very different man. And Yayo wouldn't look so terribly sad.

“I made the mistake of changing him.” He murmurs quietly. “I didn’t do it without his permission. He wanted to become a vampire.” It’s almost as if he was imploring you to believe him.

"But you didn't talk to Mom first?" Though it is only a guess, it is a solid one, and you put your fork down for a moment. "It was a long time ago, Yayo. A very long time ago. I'm not judging you. I just want to understand what happened to my family."

“No, I did not talk to your mother.” He had hoped it would be seen as a gesture on Emanuel’s part. His acceptance of the family he had joined. “Unfortunately, your mother’s blood called to him. He tried to drink from her and she—” he winces. “She destroyed her soulmate.”

“Gods.” If you had been holding anything you would have dropped it instantly. Your mother killed her soulmate over bloodlust. That makes you stammer for a moment before all you can do is reach for Max’s hand and try not to shudder at the idea. You know Max would never hurt you. He’s proved that. He’s your port in the storm. “I’m so sorry, Yayo.”

"She blamed me. As she should have." He watches as you reach for Max and it soothes him in a way that he would never be able to explain. Your soulmate is a vampire and yet you are still drawn to him, comforted by him. "I had not yet learned how to bring one of my protégé back, so he was lost to us."

“Thank you for learning.” Your hand tightens around Max’s subtly, fingers flexing and keeping his grip. “For…making sure Max was here for me when I needed him.”

"Of course, muñequita." He nods his head seriously. "You should have met him years before and I cannot fix the past, but I could make sure you would meet him."

“And you have no idea how much that means to me.” He has no idea of what you’ve been through. What has gone on in your life between childhood and now. But at least you can say to his face that you’re grateful.

“I spent many years trying to find the way to fix my mistakes.” He murmurs quietly. “I am afforded the luxury of time, so I decided to put it to good use.”

“They did raise me a witch.” It’s the most reassurance you can give him, since your parents did not give you even a hint of the reality of vampires in the world. They had taught you magic, yes, but you had never had a real talent for spell work. “I’m sorry to ask you all of these things all at once. I just…I guess I don’t understand why we haven’t been in contact since the accident?” Allison had told you something about helping Cookie break a powerful spell, and that that was why she chose to stop drinking Yayo’s blood. But you still don’t quite understand.

“Your mother, while she wished to be human,” he sighs again. “Was a powerful witch. Some of her own talents far surpassing even her mother’s.” He picks up a few of the nuts and rolls them around in his hand. “There is a spell, a protective barrier, that would keep anyone away until the blood price has been paid.” He stares at you solemnly. “Death.”

“She really didn’t want me involved in all of this…” Something which is both stunning and rather appalling to you, considering coming to Newport might truly have saved your life. Who knows what might have happened to you if you had had to live in your car in Tennessee. Knowing that your sweet, steadfast mother was angry enough with her parents to separate you for life is daunting.

“Your mother…” he doesn’t wish to speak ill of the dead, and especially of the daughter that he had loved for centuries and will continue to love until he is destroyed. “Was very much human in the fact that she was not infallible, none of us are.” He doesn’t wish for you to hold a grudge against her, even as he tries to explain things. “I pushed too hard and tried to see you again after that last memory I showed you. That was when she cast the spell.”

“A spell that kept you and abuela away…and made me think that I made you up?” That is a remarkably impressive spell, you will admit it freely. Your mother’s abilities must have been far greater than you could ever have dreamed.

“Yes.” He bites his lip. “It was one that took us a long time to even figure out what she had used and even longer to discover the key to breaking it.” He reaches out and touches your hand. “Your abuela left you a letter, in case these truths ever came to light.”

“I would like to read it. If it’s not too much trouble.” A few of Cookie’s own words might be wonderful, if you’re honest. Though you do already feel the fullness in your mind off memories beginning to resettle now that you realize they are memories and not only your imagination. “It…doesn’t have to do this moment. It will take some time to process all of this.”

“Whenever you feel like it.” He promises, smiling indulgently at you. “I will have them placed in your room for when you are ready.”

“I’m…” There isn’t technically any reason to feel this way, but you still squeeze his cold hand gently. “I’m sorry we were apart so long.”

“Muñequita, do not feel guilty.” He chides softly, aware of that expression on your face. “It is I who am the guilty one. You have suffered for so long because I could not find you. I could not reach you.”

“It isn’t your fault that I was in a bad situation. Or Max’s either.” Acutely aware that Max views himself as responsible for that entire situation because he had been expelled that night, you won’t hear of it for even a second. “It seems like this is a new beginning for all of us.” New, aside from the specter of your ex-boyfriend that now hangs over Newport.

“Though I hear you had a visitor yesterday.” Your grandfather’s youthfully middle aged face drops unhappily and his eyes darken fiercely.

“I—” Mistaking his displeasure for anger directed at you, your eyes stop to the table instantly. “He was not invited,” you defend immediately, not wanting anyone to get in trouble on your account.

He pauses when he realizes that you think he is upset at you. “Yes, this…Derek will be dealt with.” He promises you. “Although I do not understand why you will not let your soulmate kill him.”

“Because I don’t believe that murder is ever the answer. Regardless of the question.” Suffering, pain, death — none of it. You’ve lived several lifetimes of all that hurt and you would be happy to never have another second of it near you.

“Kind and empathetic.” He hums, not displeased with the idea at all. “I will promise you this—” he taps your hand gently. “If he harms you again, nothing on this earth or in hell will protect him from me.” It’s not a threat, it’s a promise. A pact to repay every hurt he has ever bestowed upon you tenfold.

“I will say if I am hurt or not.” That is the bargain you will make. To make your grandfather feel as though the door is open, though you need intend to go through it.

His eyes narrow for a moment in contemplation and he nods. “Agreeable.” He decides.

******

For the rest of your meal, he answers your questions, never shying away from the answers and it surprises Max. His sire has always been elusive at times, and yet, he is very succinct with you. Perhaps it is because of the want to keep you close.

After he leaves you, your grandfather goes back to the tower. The locked room beyond Cookie’s potion room now opened. The mahogany box retrieved from a shelf and his fingers brush over the inlaid gold. The letters are inside. Lovingly preserved for you. His soulmate had taken to writing you at least once a week since deciding that she would sacrifice herself to break what she viewed as a curse. Her thoughts, hopes, memories all immortalized in ink, her familiar script beautiful as he opens the box and lifts a letter to his nose, inhaling the scent of her perfume. “You would have loved her, Cookie.” He murmurs sadly. “She’s stronger than all of us.”

******

The cadence of his footsteps is unfamiliar, and nearly nonexistent, but you know it’s him coming into the library a few minutes after breakfast has ended without ever having to look up. Mrs. Taylor has left menus for you to approve and Max is outside at the teahouse with Mr. Taylor — and Renee is altogether too bright and sunshiny for such a quiet entrance. But when Yayo appears holding a beautifully and intricately carved box in his hands, the arrival is near-silent and solemn.

“I had considered leaving these in your rooms.” He admits quietly, his voice low and soothing like it always is. “But then, I did not know if you would want that.”

“Would you…” you push the tray of menus aside, knowing that Mrs. Taylor won’t object to getting them later today. Not when these letters are so important. “Want to sit with me? While I read some?”

“I would be delighted.” Silently and much faster than Max, he moves over to you with the box.

The letter box is lacquered mahogany, trimmed in gilded dragons done after the Chinese style in what you now know intimately as chinoiserie — a Gilded Age specialty. It’s yet one more thing in this house that someone else would sell for a fortune at auction and instead you cling to it desperately as a connection to your family’s past. The key that he has left resting on top fits neatly into the lock and you open the box with a small smile as you bite your lip in concentration. The box is very old, after all, and delicate. What’s inside, though? Dozens of letters. Some thick and some thin. All stamped with blood red wax and addressed to you. “There’s…so many of them…”

“My late soulmate was a woman who loved to write letters.” He admits, his smile wistful. “There is a trunk of letters she had written to your mother while we were…estranged.” He reveals. “At one point after learning of her death, she had thought to burn them all, but could not.”

“The accident wasn’t easy for anyone,” you admit, glad to see him pull up a chair beside the large library desk with you instead of pacing anxiously or giving you distance. There has been so much distance for so long — all you want now is to keep him close. “I almost withdrew my place in college and just stayed closed up in the house. But I knew they wouldn’t have wanted that.”

“No, they wouldn’t have.” As much as he regrets not being there for you, he admires your courage. You might not think so, but you have been extremely strong-willed through the last ten years.

“And these are…all for me?” It seems incredible to you, that anyone would have spent so much time and effort just thinking of you, but the reality of things has been so different than what you thought they were for your entire life that it bears a sort of…reinspection.

“Yes.” He smiles at the box. “She would sit at her writing desk and talk to me about you. Wondering what you were like, how you were doing.”

“What was your favorite thing to imagine?” There is no way they could have guessed the truth, and that is your comfort. That you hope they never feared for you.

“You used to love to dance.” Your grandfather hums. “We spent hours dancing in your living room when you were small. We used to imagine you dancing. Laughing as you were guided along the dance floor.”

“I stopped for a long time.” You admit, not ashamed of the fact although you’re ashamed of the reason. It’s just what happened. It was your life for many years. “But I’ve started again…because of Max.”

“That’s brilliant.” His eyes sparkle in delight and his lips quirk up in a pleased smile. “You were so happy to learn when you were just a baby.”

“I loved ballet.” The slipper blanket still in your room is proof enough of that, and you smile. “But I do love ballroom more. And Max did danced competitively in college. It’s…honestly so nice to be able to share that with him.”

“It was my rule for the school that all students must take an elective that was creative.” He tells you with a dramatic flip of his hand. “I think it appealed to him because I was teaching the class and your soulmate is a bit of a suck up.”

“So you teach, then?” Ignoring the comment about Max — because you used to be a little bit of a suck up in dance class, too — you leave the letter chest closed and focus on Yayo. “In Romania?”

“That is how I discovered your soulmate, Muñequita.” He hums. “When I saw the birthmark, a mark I would know anywhere, I knew. I knew I had to take him under my wing.”

“I’m so grateful that you did.” If not for Yayo, who knows who Max’s sire would have been? Who knows how you ever would have found him again?

“I made mistakes with him as well.” He can admit that, flashing a fangy smile. “I let him get too arrogant. But he has learned his lesson.”

“According to him, he was already arrogant,” you tell your grandfather. “But he says that his attitude has changed enormously since you brought him back.”

“It has.” He agrees with Max’s assessment of himself completely. “This house, his stay here has been good for him.”

“This house has been good for me, too.” Yesterday morning notwithstanding, of course.

“Of course it has.” To imagine anything else would be unbelievable. “Despite your mother’s ill feelings, I had this house built to be a refuge, a haven, if you will.”

“Mom didn’t like having her hand forced. I didn’t understand it then, but I do as I get older.” It makes you shrug, though, not wanting to start an argument with your grandfather. “But this house has certainly been a haven for me. So thank you.”

“If I could have done things differently, I would have.” He admits quietly. “I would have bitten my tongue and realized my daughter’s dreams for life weren’t mine for her.”

“Regretting and wishing can’t bring them back,” you murmur, voice finding the same tenor as his. “If it could, we would have had my parents back immediately.”

“You are right.” He reaches out and pats your hand. “You are as wise as you are beautiful.”

“I have had a lot of time to think it over. Not as much as you, of course, but…” A slight shrug of your shoulders comes as your hand runs over the box in front of you again. “There is so much I would say to my mother if I could see her again.”

His smile turned mysterious and he hums. “Think of what you would say to her, Muñequita. Never forget it.”

“I wish she could meet Max.” The thought had already occurred to you more than once, and as much as it hurts you also have to believe that she’s watching over you with your father beside her. “I think they would enjoy teasing each other.”

“She had a robust sense of humor.” He chuckles. “Perhaps one day you will know what she thinks.”

“It would be too wonderful for words, I think.” Dwelling on it for too long threatens to drown you in a wave of sadness, and your expression flickers — faltering slightly. “But I can dream.”

Sensing that you might want some space, he pats your hand again and stands. “I think I will go have Mrs. Taylor bring you up a pot of tea while you go through your abuela’s letters.” He decides.

“Thank you, Yayo.” Your hand catches his, squeezing his fingers tight for a moment before letting it go again. “For everything.”

“It is my pleasure and my duty.” He nods and bows slightly before disappearing from sight.

The box in front of you is full to bursting, and when you open the lid it is clear that some letters consist of a single page while some are self-contained novelas. They seem to be stacked in order of writing, but not with any semblance of order in the time between each letter. Selecting the first — a single sheet neatly folded, waxed, and dated — you carefully slip the seal and open the paper.

My Darling Girl— It has been a month and a week since we visited you last, making today your ninth birthday. I hope it is joyful, sweetheart, and that you know how very dearly your grandfather and I love you. When we see you again we will bring your gift and heaps of books, and your grandfather will dance with you until you are too exhausted even to laugh. And it will do my heart so much good to see you both reunited. You are the magic of our hearts, darling, and always will be. But in case this letter is only the first of many you will not see until you are a grown woman, know that we are thinking of you and missing you every day. And that we are so proud of you, no matter what path you choose each day. Happy birthday, darling girl. We love you. Granny Cookie

The heavy vellum paper is quite old, the scrawling, looping handwriting a work of art. Cookie had whimsically decided that your letters would be written with a quill, like she would have before. Making it a labor of love.

There are so many that it seems daunting, and something tells you not to read them in order but that might just be a response to how many there are. You’re still toying with the box, though, when Mrs. Taylor appears in the doorway with a tea tray.

“Your grandfather said you might enjoy some tea while you read.” She smiles as she walks inside. “I took the liberty of making Cookie’s favorite tea for you.”

“You’ve known the entire time.” Far from being angry or accusatory, there is awe in your voice. Her loyalty and steadfastness to your grandparents is astonishing.

“I have.” She doesn’t apologize, her smile softening slightly. “It has been hard not to mention your mother, since you look so like her.”

The tea tray she sets down on the desk beside you is sparse, but Mrs. Taylor never brings * only* tea. There is a plate of scones today, with jam and butter. “Did you ever meet me before?” You ask cautiously, unsure if you had ever even been to this house as a child or if the housekeeper had ever traveled with your grandparents. “When I was young?”

“We have met before.” She answers vaguely, a curious twist to her lips. “There was a time we spend quite a bit of time together.”

“I wish I could remember.” It must have been when you were just a baby, considering that first letter from your abuela was at your ninth birthday. “I wish I could remember this house. Or visiting here.”

“A side effect of the spell.” She murmurs quietly. “It’s as if this house never existed to you before now.”

“I knew my mother was powerful, but I guess I never really knew how much.” There were always signs of it growing up, and of course your father has considerable magic as well, but this is a level far beyond what you knew was possible. “But…I never knew she was half-vampire, either. I suppose there was quite a lot they kept from me.”

“Your mother…” she sighs softly, a sound just for you. It had been amazing learning how to do those things again when you don’t need to breathe. It conveys so much. “Always looked at the other side of the field and admired the grass there. Even though her side was perfectly lush.”

“She wanted to explore.” Even as young as you were when she died, you know that. “Explore new experiences and meet new people. The more and the more different, the better.”

“She had been that way for her entire life.” Mrs. Taylor hums, happy that she had never lost her spark. “She was the first of her social circle to wear pants when it was so terribly taboo.”

“I can see her doing that. Being a rabble rouser.” In fact, from alternative choices at bake sales to extra adventures on field trips, your mother was always ready for anything. For a long time, you had wanted to grow up to be just like her. Fearless.

“Despite that, she broke many hearts when her soulmate was found.” She tells you. “She had quite the number of gentleman callers before.”

“Dad always joked that he had to treat Mom like a princess because there would always be another guy who would if he didn’t.” Mostly those jokes had been to encourage you to look for someone who would treat you the same, but you hadn’t really understood that at the time. Now, you think it might be a big part of why your father might have approved of Max. “So I can see that.”

“That is true.” She agrees. “I did not get to know your father well, but he seemed like he was a good man. He loved your mother, that was obvious.”

“He did.” You nod, agreeing with that statement easily. “He loved her more than anything else in the world.”

“Then that is all that matters.” While she’s sure that her soulmate would have been amazing, she’s not lived for as long as she had without knowing that you don’t have to be a soulmate to love someone completely.

“They were wonderful together.” It warns a small, almost wistful sigh from you and you smile. “Completely wonderful.”

******

Max had not meant to leave you alone all day. After breakfast with his sire, he had gone off with Mr. Taylor to look at the Tea House. Looking had turned into doing and half the afternoon was gone before he realized. Strolling into the morning room, he grins when he finds you still reading letters, happy to see you enjoying yourself. Carefully handling the folded and wax sealed paper as if it were precious, because it is to you. “How many secrets did the old bird spill?”

“You’re never going to believe some of the stuff she wrote out for me.” Having moved from the library after tea to the window seat in the morning room, you’ve been basking in the near-sunset while you read uninterrupted. But now that Max is back inside? You shift to one side of the seat and sit up, making room for him to join you. “She wrote down as much as she could stand to, I think. Sometimes just little notes and sometimes pages upon pages.”

Max plops down next to you in a graceless flop that would have looks undignified by anyone else. He makes it look almost elegant in its casualness. “So it’s like a journal….in letters?” He asks curiously, peeking at the script of the one you are holding.

“Kind of.” You nod and shift closer to him, inhaling the scent of his cologne when he puts one arm around you. Since vampires don’t sweat, the only underlying scent is the intensely powerful sunscreen he wears everyday to keep from being affected by the sun. Enchanted, according to him. “Some of these are stories about my mom. Others are talking about powers she suspects I might have had, or would be able to develop. Others are just memories. Sometimes she even wrote down stories about her and Yayo.”

“Really?” His eyes widen and he playfully waggles his brows. “Don’t know if you should be reading those.” He teases.

“They’re not intimate stories.” You pinch Max with two fingers and laugh, feeling lighter this afternoon than you thought you would be able to. “They’re my grandparents.”

“Uhhhh, hate to tell you, babe…” Max grins even wider, happy you are laughing and smiling. “Grandparents fuck.” He snorts. “Otherwise there would be no parents to have the grandkids and make them grandparents.”

“Yes, they do.” The way you roll your eyes is just for show, playing along with his teasing. “But they don’t typically tell those stories to their twelve-year-old granddaughters.” The letter you happen open to be holding is on the thicker side, dated the summer you were twelve. “Usually.”

He snickers and shrugs. “It would be a lot cooler if they did.” He jokes. “Let the g-kids know how hip they were at one time.”

“I think I would have been horrified to hear that when I was twelve,” you tell him honestly. “I was a very innocent kid.”

“Very innocent, huh?” He leans in and kisses your cheek. “We’ll change that, Queenie.”

“I was an innocent kid.” The last word gets emphasis, and you tilt your head to kiss his lips as of that proves some sort of point. “I don’t think what we did the other night counts as innocent in the least.”

“Just a little harmless grinding.” His grin turns positively wicked. “It’ll be less innocent when my ‘no need to breathe’ face is planted in your pussy for hours on end until you can’t take another orgasm.”

It should be abundantly obvious from the shock on your face that you hadn’t yet put that puzzle together, and the heat in your cheeks radiates off you in waves. “Yep…” you manage to swallow finally and half-nod. “That will be…not innocent at all.”

The chuckle he gives is filthy, accompanied by a wink. “So I was thinking about another date tonight.”

"You were?" the suggestion lights you up immediately, although it is tinged with that unfortunate but real paranoia. "Did you have something in mind?"

“I know you love to dance, but I don’t want to be a one trick pony.” Max hums, leaning in against you. “So I thought we could be disgustingly cliché. There’s a pumpkin patch, with a corn maze and a ‘haunted hayride’.” He puts air quotes around the last portion. “They do all the cutesy shit and sell hot chocolate. I thought you would love it.”

“Are you going to protect me from all the jump scares and fake vampires?” It’s your own small brand of teasing, because even though you love horror movies as an adult there is something about jump scares in real life that is less fun and more anxiety-inducing. The one thing you do know, though, deep in your heart? Is that Max will protect you no matter what.

“Absolutely.” Max practically giggles. “Gotta show off so your little pussy throbs at what a strong, manly vamp I am.” He winks to show that he’s teasing, but he would protect you from anything.

“And you can smell it, so I can’t even pretend like it doesn’t affect me.” Which, admittedly, could be slightly embarrassing. But for some reason Max being so in tune with your emotions is a wicked turn on.

“You can pretend it doesn’t affect you at any time.” He hums. “Just because you’re turned on, doesn’t mean you are in the mood, sweetheart.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Although he does have a point, and you appreciate him acknowledging it out loud. “I was thinking more like…it’s harder to play innocent. Since I kind of have an inkling that you might enjoy that sort of thing.”

“Hmmmmm but I like when someone plays hard to get.” He admits with a grin. “Knowing they want me but making me chase is just as thrilling.”

“So this works for you perfectly then, I guess?” It’s one less thing to have on your mind, if he’s telling the truth. And Max has never given you any reason to think he would lie. “You probably love those great big doe eyes some girl have. The innocence and purity of it all.”

“I like your eyes.” He flirts shamelessly. “They are the prettiest I’ve ever gotten lost in.”

“I’m already yours, ya know.” Despite the protest, you absolutely melt in his arms and become a puddle against his chest. “You don’t have to flirt.”

“I want to flirt.” He promises. “Flirting is good for the body, mind and soul.” He announces. “It makes you feel good, makes you feel wanted and it makes you easier to kiss.” He teases, turning his head and kissing your nose.

“In that case?” You could not be more putty-like in his arms if he had been literally kneading your shoulders. “What time do you want to go out tonight? Because hay rides and pumpkins and chilly fall things with you sounds like a dream.”

“Six? Six-thirty?” He asks. “That way we still have plenty of daylight to pick out pumpkins? I know you will want one or two.”

“That’s perfect.” You would probably put a pumpkin or two in every room of the house if you could, but that sounds like a mess waiting to happen. “Do you want to sit with me for a little bit or do you have something you want to do before then?” It’s about a hour and a half away, and there are so many more letters from your grandmother to read. The box seems never ending. It might even be enchanted to hold extra, you can’t tell.

“I’m right here until we change,” he promises. “I’m thinking this will be our casual date. Leggings, boots, for you of course.”

“Maybe we can alternate?” It’s just a small idea, but knowing that he loves to dress up and make a splash and you aren’t typically as well dressed as he is lets you both have moments of fun and moments of relaxation. “Something fancy and something casual?”

“That sounds good to me, Queenie.” He flashes you a grin. “Can’t hurt and it’ll keep you from getting bored.”

“I have a feeling I’ll never be bored with you.” It’s just a feeling, but it’s right in the back of your mind and hovering over your heart, so it’s undeniable.

“It’s because I’m incredible.” He boasts, but it’s all just an act. His thigh is pressed against yours and he looks over at the letters. “Want to read me one? Or is it something you’d rather keep to yourself for now?”

“I think it’s safe to say that my family is your family…since my grandfather is literally your sire and all.” It does sort of call the structure of vampire families into question in your mind, but that is a detail you will ask Yayo about later on. “You can read the next one. That sounds nice.”

“You want me to read it to you?” He asks, brow raised at the thought. “I will.”

“I like your voice,” you admit sheepishly, sinking down in his arms a little in a rush of embarrassment. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“Oh no, you aren’t getting out of it now.” He teases, reaching into the box and selecting a letter. “Hmmmm, how does this one look?”

“Perfect.” Every time he shows such amusement or happiness at little compliments from you, you feel that same skip in your heart that you’re starting to think might become a permanent fixture in your life. Max never ceases to surprise you with his affection and it really is wonderful.

“Puuuuurrrrrfect.” He rolls his ‘r’ playfully as he slides a neatly manicured nail under the wax seal and breaks it. Stopping and shuddering before he looks over at you. “Did you feel that?”

“It’s just a little chilly in here.�� You explain it away instinctively, not even realizing that a breeze would have no effect on Max whatsoever.

“Sppppooooooky.” He’s playing it up, but there had been a current to the air when he broke the seal on this letter. Clearing his through is purely perfunctory as he opens the stiff paper. “My darling Muñequita,” he begins and says the date.

This is a later letter, something from you were a teenager. Max must have gone deep into the box. You hum happily at that and snuggle into his side like a cat.

“You really are the cleverest witch I have seen in my time. And considering how old I truly am, that is saying something.” He tilts his head and glances up at you before looking back at the letter. “To think that the answer was right in front of us, just a few words difference is simply magical, pardon the pun.”

“Are you sure this one is addressed to me and not my mom?” Though the question is rhetorical, there is also a nugget of truth to it. You haven’t done any sort of remarkable magic in years.

“It says it’s to you.” He huffs, flipping it back over so you can see the way it’s addressed. “Hush.” He blows you a raspberry. “Take the compliments. Now where was I?” He scans the page again. “For centuries, we had just believed that it was a myth, as fanciful as that sounds. Time travel. Who would have believed H.G.Wells was a witch?”

“I’m sorry.” Sitting up ramrod straight in an instant, your eyes go wide. “Did you just say time travel?”

“Are you always this disruptive?” Max teases as he waves the letter at you. “It’s right here. Do you want to read it for yourself?”

“But time travel is impossible!” Managing to snatch the letter from his hand, you settle back in his arms with a furrowed brow and your two front teeth firmly biting down on your lower lip as you reread what he had just read out loud. “Who would have believed H.G. Wells was a witch? Of course, everyone know that magic, alchemy, and science are all the same thing. But not everyone knows how to harness it to emotion. But you are such a clever thing, we ought to have suspected that you would find a way.”

“Sounds like someone did something.” Max intones, his voice playful, but he’s impressed.

“I can’t imagine what. By the time this was written, they hadn’t been allowed to see me in more than six years.” Still, the pull of this particular letter is far too strong, and you turn back to it with curiosity. “It took us an embarrassingly long time to understand it fully, Muñequita, but once we did you cannot imagine how foolish we felt for not seeing it years before.”

“Wow...incredibly intriguing.” Max snorts, impatient as always. “Like- what did you do? I wanna know.”

"I'm disruptive and you're impatient," you tease, but you keep reading. "To know that you managed to visit us from your time is remarkable beyond words. And how clever you were not to let us know, to never have even given us a whiff. You have your Yayo's talent for keeping secrets, darling girl, and we are so proud of the power you have finally come to. We will keep the portrait you so graciously left with us in the house and I will display it proudly for all of my days, telling anyone who asks that my granddaughter has a warm and loving heart and a doting, charming husband."

“Husband?” His own eyes widen slightly and his lips curve into a slow grin. “Something I should know, Queenie?”

“At the moment you know exactly as much as I do.” Your hand is practically shaking with the letter in it, but the slightly smug, pleased grin on his face makes you huff out a laugh. “I have no idea!”

“Wellllllll, now we have a mystery to talk about.” Max chuckles. He knows that you don’t know, but it’s intriguing.

“If I had to guess?” Being the kind of little kid — and sometimes adult — that had dreamt yourself into every possible and impossible kind of situation, you avoid his eyes slightly when you shrug. “If this is true, then you must have been there, too. I wouldn’t call anybody else that, and depending on when we went to, dating doesn’t exist. It’s married or unmarried, and an unmarried woman has a hell of a lot more restrictions on how she can act than a married one.”

“That would be interesting.” He snorts and shrugs. “I promise I won’t demand my husbandly rights if you’re correct.”

“Maybe we’ll actually be married by the time it happens, who knows?” It’s such a ludicrous ides that you can’t really take it seriously in the first place, and you shrug. “Besides, it’s time travel, honey. It’s not true. It can’t be.”

“And vampires don’t exist.” Max reminds you with a grin. “It’s so unbelievable that you would go back in time to visit with your granny when your soulmate doesn’t have a pulse and drinks blood?”

He has, frustratingly, a very good point. So much so that it makes you pause with your mouth already half-open to a pithy reply and shut it again with a furrowed brow. “I guess…” you swallow a deep breath. “If I wear every going to visit anyone…”

“She would be the one to visit.” Max finishes for you. “I wonder when you visit her. Obviously you haven’t yet.”

“After Mom was born.” You can answer that easily, even if your voice is quiet. “Any time when Mom was young. I always wondered what she was like as a young woman…and she never liked to tell stories. I get why, now. How could she rephrase a story about the 1870s to make it sound like modern life?” The idea of seeing your mother again is painful it’s so sweet, and you sniffle quietly, burying your face in your free hand. “I miss her so much.”

“I know you do.” Max hums thoughtfully after a moment. “You can’t have gone to the past when she would remember it, would you? Otherwise, she might have done things differently in life, right?”

“I guess…it would have to have been long enough ago that she wouldn’t have a strong memory of me. Or at least that she would never make the connection.” It feels like such a weird thing to contemplate, but Max is looking down at you so intently that you find yourself just spinning in the idea. Trying to follow the thought all the way through. “And I certainly wouldn’t use my real name. It would be Dolly. Or Queenie.”

“When we time travel, don’t use your real name, got it.” He gives you a thumbs up and snorts playfully. “Can I have a code name too?”

“Sure.” If you do roll your eyes at him it’s all in good fun and teasing. “What do you want your code name to be? James Bond?”

“Bond.” He imitates with an English accent. “James Bond.” He laughs and shakes his head.

He is laughing, which has you giggling, and you shake your head at him in pure amusement. “I genuinely can’t tell if that’s a yes or no,” you tease.

“I would need something way cooler.” He huffs and smirks at you. “Something that is subtly acknowledging my sexual magmatism.”

“Bruno?” Just about anything would be silly, and you can’t resist his smirk anyway. “Should we call you Jean-Claude van Damme?”

He snorts and rolls his eyes. “Romania, not Austria, babe.”

“What would you like to be called?” What he wants is more important than anything, after all. At least, it is to you.

“I was just teasing, sweetheart.” He promises. “Call me Max, I promise it’ll be alright with me.”

"We won't ever need to worry about it." You're certain of that, somehow. Even with the evidence sitting right there in your hand.

“With this discovery, do you still want to go out?” He asks quietly. If you’d rather read more letters, he wouldn’t blame you.

“I think I need some time to adjust to the idea,” you admit, putting the letter down without finishing it. It’s taking up so much space in your mind that you feel as if you might explode. “Maybe I’ll shower before we go out? I know we said tonight is going to be casual but I still want to look nice for you.”

“Go shower, sweetheart.” He encourages you. “Or better yet, go soak in that claw foot tub.”

“Yeah?” It’s a very soothing idea, and you have to agree that it might do you a world of good. All the same, though, you don’t want to be too far from Max. “Are you going to go back out to the tea house?”

“No.” He can sense your unease, and he quickly decides that he will stay nearby. “I’m going to go see if my jeans still fit.” He jokes with a grin. “Haven’t worn them in a long time. No need to, until now.”

“I know you’ll be very handsome in whatever you choose.” It is touching, though, that he is dressing down for you. Because you know that his suits are his suits of armor.

“I know the leather jacket is what you’ll focus on.” He jokes, winking at you.

If you could stop yourself from blurting it out you would have, but your immediate reaction is an unapologetic: “You have a leather jacket?”

His eyes light up when you give yourself away and he nods. “Yep.” He hums, leaning in to you, crowding you slightly. “Black leather.”

“That…” When you swallow it’s slightly embarrassed but interested all the same. “That sounds nice.”

“Does it?” He rubs his hand down your arm. “That’s good. Maybe we’ll see how you look in it tonight when you get cold.”

The thought of being marked as his in any way makes you burn in the most unexpectedly lustful way, and you clear your throat before standing up. “I going to go take a cold bath.”

“You do that, sweetheart.” Max reaches out and pats your hip. “I’ll be here when you get out.” He pauses. “Better yet, I’ll be at your door when you’re ready.”

______

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154 notes · View notes

hikarry · 3 days

Note

Since I didn't communicate clearly earlier:

2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 39

Oh, God lord, Sam

Okay, yes, yes, sure

Just, be prepared for a long post I guess then. Ill skip the ones I already answered

2. show us a picture of your handwriting?

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

The Imitation Game, The Muppet Christmas Carol and Corpse Bride

4. what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

Ah...a evil version of "You've got a friend in me" from Toy Story with one of my friends

5. what made you start your blog?

Honestly? No idea. Technically I've been here since 2014 and I kinda just joined to see pretty pics in the beginning. And now here we are, neck deep in the Good Omens fandom

6. what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

The best is honestly the interaction. You guys really have no idea how nice the Good Omens fandom is. I used to be a "creator" for the Yuri on Ice fandom and it didn't used to be half of this. It's very exciting.

The worst? Maybe the pressure to post new stuff? Which is not exactly no one's fault but mine, but alas

7. what scares you the most and why?

Ah. Dying in pain? I don't like pain and I don't appreciate dying so, yeah. Kinda logic

8. any reacquiring dreams?

I don't think so?

9. tell a story about your childhood

We went to the beach this one time and I, for some reasons, made friends with this one guy I never saw again in my life. Somehow he caught a big ass fish (or big in toddler scale) and gave it to me and my first reaction was toss it back into the ocean. It was a magnificent throw, lemme tell ya. For a 3 year old, anyway

10. would you say you’re an emotional person?

It depends on how mentally stable I am and who I am with. But yes, overall, I would say so

11. what do you consider to be romance?

Small things, like sleeping cuddling, cooking together, drinking coffee together at the window in a sunday morning, kissing in the rain. My idea of romance is very...fairytale-y. And not realistic. That's why I am very very good by myself

12. what’s some good advice you want to share?

Don't look for yourself in other people. You're good enough to make yourself happy. You don't need anyone else so don't think you do. Other people are a bonus, not a requirement

13. what are you doing right now?

Answering this long ass thing thanks to you, Sam

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

Piercings. I've conquered my fear of tattoos and piercing are next, write what I'm telling you

15. what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

My grandma's house

16. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Physically? My weight. Because I've been fighting it ever since I was like 4 and so I could go under surgery and change my chest.

In general? Just...I would like to be more simple. I feel like other people in the world are way simpler than I am. Think and feel in a simpler way. Or I'm too complicated, depends on how you want to see it. I would like to feel simple

18. do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

No, to both. If I allowed myself to believe in any of those I would become way too paranoid and that's a no no

19. favourite thing about the day?

Getting home after a long day

20. favourite things about the night?

Actually getting to sleep properly, which is being an impossibility at the moment

21. are you a spiritual person?

No. I don't believe in any god or religion or entity. I max believe that the universe has my back and everything will work out somehow. But that's it

22. say 3 things about someone you love

My grandma is an amazing cook. I love her snuggles. I miss her every day

23. say 3 things about someone you hate

My uncle was assaulted last week, aparently. Not to be mean, but he could have died. I wish he had died

24. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

Not having killed myself when I really really wanted to. Living is super nice and I enjoy it quite a lot

25. fave season and why?

Autumn. Because it's when I was born and it's spooky season! And hella cozy! I love cozy!

26. fave colour and why?

Blue. Because it feels calming and reminds me of the ocean and/or water in general

27. any nicknames?

My friends used to call me "Mouse" when I was in school. It was an inside joke

28. do you collect anything?

I collect books and military jackets

30. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

Honestly? Without being sappy, you guys. Every time I'm having a shit day and I come here to complain y'all manage to cheer me up. It's very sweet and I thank you very much

31. are you messy or organised?

I am proudly organized in my messiness

32. how many tabs do you have open right now?

On pc? 4

On the phone? 48. 47 of those are fanfics

33. any hobbies?

Mainly reading and writing. I don't have time for much else

34. any pet peeves?

When people are slow. Not only walking, but in general: thinking, moving. It annoys the shit out of me

35. do you trust easily?

Oh no. Not at all. I think the only people I currently trust are my grandma and my therapist. And one of them I pay them to trust them so-

36. are you an open book or do you have walls up?

Way way too many walls up. I've been broken more times than I care to count and that does something to someone, lemme tell ya

37. share a secret

I stole a Hello Kitty necklace from a girl I hated when I was like 7. I still have it, as a trophy. I really hated that girl

39. youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

Pinely! He's so fucking funny and I love his accent. Besides, his videos are amazing. Go watch it!

Ooof, okay. That's it, right? I tried to give short answers so it wouldn't get too annoying, but there we are. Hope you're happy, Sam!

#ask game #asks #samsteacup

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irefusetobefandomtrashonmain · 2 years

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Guys, I figured out- the whole hero vs. villain thing with c!Technoblade, and how it relates to Bedrock Bros (an unoffical essay)

So, the whole reason I made this blog was because of this realization I came to a few months back and need the fandom to know. This is all from the mythology class I took, focusing on Classical mythology. Also, I’m not up to date on lore.

So, the big debate in the fandom (I don’t know how strong it still is, but I know that people were talking about this at some point) is if c!Technoblade is a hero or villain. And that got me thinking. There are strong arguements for both, but I really couldn’t come to a decison. Then, I was in my Mythology class, studying the Iliad and Greek warrior culture, and things were starting to sound really familiar. We all know that Techno is a major nerd when it comes it Greek mythology, and the pieces started coming together.

So, a the qualifications to be a Greek hero are things like loyalty, strength, courage keeping promises, contempt towards inferiors, and the like. There is absolutly no need for them to be good people or moral individuals. In fact, they usually aren’t in the slightest. But they still are heroes in the eyes of the Greeks, despite not mathching up with our western ideals of what makes up a hero.

There are also three pillars to Greek warrior culture. I’ll include all of the relevant class notes at the bottom for added clarity, but in summary, it’s basically 1: being the best- physically and in the way they can give persuasive speeches. This is displayed by a great speech or a murderous rampage. 2: Honor through gains and spoils and 3: glory and fame that continues thoughout time, through skill or eloquence. Starting to sound familiar?

Techno has his English major speeches and kills crowds of people (ex. the festival after he kills Tubbo). I could go on a whole thing about the Axe of Peace and Carl the horse as a manifestation of geras (the ultimate prize a warrior can have), which is a big part of the second pillar. He’s big on his clout and image, and while this is just something that he seems to have absorbed into his overall image, you can see the lean in during lore.

This can explain some events that seem to contradict the heroic model that we expect. All of the times he says he was betrayed and destroys L’manburg seems like a villainous thing to do- but Greek heroes stick to their principles, no matter how illogical or unreasonable the results of their actions are. Succumbing to peer pressure? They would sacrifice anything to keep up their image as a powerful warrior.

Nothing shows this better than things like the favor to Dream. A Greek hero always keeps their promises and stays loyal. And a lot of this seems contradictory, or frustrating. And it is. But it’s a different culture from a different time. (Trust me, I love the Iliad, but reading it can be so painful at times). Put yourself into a Greek heroes shoes, and a lot of these villainous actions can be justified by their code and culture.

A great way to compare our Western hero culture with the Greek hero culture is by comparing the actions of c!Tommy with c!Technoblade. Tommy could be seen as a representation of a Western heroics. He wants to do the right thing, stay loyal to his friends and country, and get justice. He’s generally forgiving (we do have to keep in mind that this is Tommy, and he is a teenage boy). We can generally look at his actions and agree with them, in some way.

After exile, his interests align with Technoblade’s for a bit, though it falls apart. He goes back to Tubbo, which Techno sees as a betrayal by his Greek culture POV, while Tommy sees this as a logical progession. Also, Tommy sees the destruction of L’manburg as a betrayal, while Techno sees it as a logical progression. Their respective veiws of the world are too different for them to be able to work together. Bedrock bros, in this regard, were never meant to be.

Comparing the two of them is a great model for Western v. Greek hero culture. Now, this is just a theory. But if you look at the actions that don’t seem to align with logic and compare it to the warrior culture I’ve discussed, it hits too many points, in my opinion, for it to be coincidental. Personally, I think that these similarities are on purpouse, and that Technoblade is planning out the canonical actions of his character based on these base ideas.

I don’t know if anyone else has made this connection, but here you go. Also, it would be really embaressing if someone actually said this, and I wrote a whole essay on something that’s already been confirmed and is common knowledge. I’ve barely scratched the surface, I can’t cover everything from a full college class in a Tumblr post, but I’ll add the class notes that relate. If you made it to down here, have a golden star. Thanks!

#dsmp #dsmp lore #c!techno #c!techno lore #c!tommy #c!tommy lore #bedrock bros #greek mythology #classical mythology #greek warrior culture #greek heroes #mcyt #technoblade #tommyinnit #excuse any spelling errors #its late

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guzsdaily · 5 months

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Having an [small] objective in life

Day 08 - Nov 13, 12.023

"Continuation" of Day 2's topic.

It has been one week of writing these daily blog posts, look at me, finally being consistent in something in life! If I could at least repeat the same thing in other parts of my life, it would be great! But apparently having an eight hours night of sleep AND waking up early to have enough energy and time in the day is quite harder than I thought.

I have to admit that a lot of things that I write in these daily blogs are attempts to put these ideas back into my mind, because everybody knows that giving advice is a lot easier than following them. And very often we end up being hypocrites to ourselves, so just as a note, read everything with a grain of salt knowing that even I can't follow what I write here.

Remember when I talked about having a dream in Day 2? About my dream of creating a brand called "Capytal"? I have to admit that it was a lot easier to feel inspired about having a dream, than putting work in it. Since then, I feel like nothing about it has been done, no new projects, new ideas, new routines, etc. I'm still lost without following something to do daily.

Being lost [daily]

Some days ago, or weeks to be honest, I started to accept the idea that I need a [actual] job, because: life, capitalism, experience, yadda yadda. This year's theme for me was "concretizar" (in English, "concretize", in the sense of "I needed to concretize what I wanted to do in my life"), and even not knowing exactly what I want to do, I know now that software and programming is one of the things I want to work with, so I need to find a job as a junior developer, hopefully. And if you aren't from this market or developer community in general, let's just say that finding a job after the layoffs in the end of the lockdown is not easy, apparently.

So now I need to actually prove that I know programming and web development at least. And I had a plan: "I will make that free C (a low level programming language) Harvard's course, and also other free courses that I can buy the certificate in the end. That will show that I don't know just a framework or language, but actual programming logic" - without counting the attempts of creating open-source projects to put in a portfolio. But then I entered up in the Harvard University site and... where the hell is that course? There are some tech-related courses, but none about programming itself anymore.

And I have to admit, because of this change, Mandela Effect, or whatever you want to call it, I completely loose what I wanted to do. I wanted to base each day on one lesson, but now there are any lessons, so what I do? There are YouTube videos about learning C, but most of them are hours long or minutes long, like, or you learn too little, or too much, y'know? And how the fuck will I know how to learn something that I don't know? And I already know programming logic, I want to learn the language itself.

With this all, I'm started, I'm still, lost. I have something in mind that "I want to learn more, and I want a job", but they are just thoughts, and I can resume everything or plan how to achieve them. I have an objective for my life, but now for today.

A silly attempt

Through this year, I had a theme, but having a theme for an entire year seems too much. Something that I somewhat learned this year is that a lot of things can happen in 3–4 months, plans and ideas can change, and predicted time on doing something can also. Not always you can follow your theme easily, and sometimes you need to focus on another part of your life.

I recognize now that to make a post about "themes" in the future, but the idea is best explained in this video by CGP Grey, it where I was introduced to and adopted the idea.

So now I want to break more, make a theme for every season, or more precise, every quarter of the year - which coincidentally also aligns to the industry's calendar apparently? I don't know or care to be honest - and this is something that I can also easily automate in my note-taking app, so every daily note has the theme listed to help me remember it. But it isn't enough to be honest, because it also is an objective or idea that is not related to my daily problems.

[Hey, this is] today's objective

Something that I noticed remembering now about the days that I was more productive is: the least I need to think on what to do today, the better I work. This is even one of the reasons that I choose Obsidian as my note-taking app, because I can have the longevity of plain markdown, with the automation provided by its plugin ecosystem, but I think that even with the automation that I already have, it isn't enough.

The way I worked was that, during Sunday, before each week started, I created a weekly note to plan each task to each day. And that workflow was great, but there were two main problems seeing now: I don't want to think about work during a weekend, planning what task to do is not the best; A lot of times I didn't list enough tasks in a project, and then there wasn't enough things to fill the week. There was also the problem of I don't being able to have a routine sometimes, but I feel like a lot of times it happened because the chain breaks when there's not enough things to fill the routine. So I need more things to easily list things to do daily, more importantly, be able to also change tasks when I need, because some days shits happen, and I can't do something specific.

In the end, I need to always have easily something to do that can push me away from procrastinating and pull me to the correct direction. How do I do all of that? I don't fucking know! But knowing what to do hopefully helps find how.

I'm still lost

To be honest, this entire post for me was all over the place, which is a good reflection on how my mind works a lot of the times. As you can see, I have a lot of things to fix just to return and be productive again, and probably I need to try even harder, because I'm still procrastinating a lot.

I can't tell a correct answer here, because productivity can depend on each person, and I don't know exactly how mine works. And the reality is that the "work smart, not hard" is not always correct, very often you need to work smart AND hard. But hopefully this can help myself, and maybe another person somehow, to be able to work on what I like and what I want to my future.

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Today's artists & creative things

Song: Infinity Repeating (2013 Demo) - by Daft Punk - It is unfortunate that I just found about Daft Punk after they brook up, I'm pretty sure that I listened to them in the radio when I was little, but never actually searched about their music until the memes about them popped up around 2021. And this music, I don't know how to explain, but for me just remember me that you don't need to perfect something to it be great? Because how the fuck is this a demo.

---

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0) License

#daily journal

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callu-na · 11 months

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reading for @laduree-et-cigarettes

Hi there, I've recently stumbled across your blog and found you offer Tarot readings. My 2019 has been pretty bizarre and lots of unexpected things have happened. I feel the timing could not be better to ask for a reading. Thank you in advance! 1. Animal Spirit, 2. Sophie, 3. Gemini, 4. Pink, 5. Designing or styling, 6. Regular, 7. Private, 8. Upcoming year spread.

Pay attention to the truth beyond the illusions, and recognize insights that seem to peek through beyond the veil. You exist in unity with all, and you are nudged down the path your soul needs to travel to have experiences it craves.

YEAR OVERALL

1. A lesson you will bring with you from the past year into the upcoming year (will help you deal with the coming year)

OWL SPIRIT "You see clearly now"

right now your senses are on overdrive and you're getting messages from every direction. Remember to be wise and pay attention to what may be between the lines. Clarity will come as you pay attention to what all your senses are telling you. Allow your intuition to guide you into seeing the whole, not just the parts

2. Overall theme for the new yaer

GRASSHOPPER SPIRIT "take a leap of faith"

right now you're poised to jump forward and move into something better than you could've imagined. You are being called to trust that now is the right time to take risks - abundance will be there for you. Listen to your intuition - luck is on your side, so move forward with confidence

3. Overall struggle/adversary for the new year

GROUNDHOG SPIRIT "time to let go"

Endings lead to new beginnings, and it may be time to let go or accept the natural ending of something that is no longer serving you in order to move forward. There is something you need to let go of so something new that will serve you better can grow. Good change is coming, don't resist it.

4. A lesson you will need to learn in the coming year to prepare you for the following year.

HAWK SPIRIT [R] "let spirit be your guide"

Take the time to notice patterns (ESPECIALLY red flags) and not dismiss your gut feelings, your intuition, even if it feels illogical to listen to them right now. Listent to and follow the signs, and check your motives if you find your hearing selective.

JAN-MAR MESSAGES AND STRUGGLES/ADVERSARIES

5. January Message

DRAGONFLY SPIRIT "truth transcends illusion"

Find your authentic voice and express what is in your heart. Express your inner light and let it shine. Remember your inherent joy and feel free to be your true self. The world wants to hear you sing - be who you are, in all your endeavors, and you will find harmony.

17. January Struggles/Adversaries

BROWN BEAR SPIRIT [R] "take time out"

When you become frazzeld and don't know how to move forward, remember to let go of your impatience trying to get answers or solve the problem. Take a break and let insights arise - you have plenty of time to make plans. Sometimes the best action is nonaction to allow things to reveal themselves to you so that you can better understand it.

6. February Message

ARMADILLO SPIRIT "Set healthy boundaries"

You are entering a phase in which, in order to be in alignment with your intentions, you may find yourself in the position where you must say 'no' to things that may have been okay for you in the past. You need to learn where you end and where others begin. Know your limits, be clear on what you're agreeing to, state your needs, and say no when you need to. This is a sign of respect to others as well as yourself.

18. February Struggles/Adversaries

BOBCAT SPIRIT "life is a mystery"

Not all things in life can be understood through intellect alone, and searching for answers logically may not provide you with the comfort or certainty you seek. Some secrets must be revealed to you through direct experience. Right now you are being called to trust, even if what is revealed does not agree with your need for intellectual certainty.

7. March Message

LIZARD SPIRIT "dream the world into being"

Let your imagination flow, dream something new. You will find inspiration if you're willing to slow down and allow the dreams to dance in your head. Dream it and be it - the steps will become clear to you.

19. March Struggles/Adversaries

DOG SPIRIT "be loyal to what you love"

Although change is a part of life, our love and commitments remain strong. Be true to what you love, and be steady as you recognize that people and things always change and transform. Loving only begets more love, and you deserve all of it.

APR-JUN MESSAGES AND STRUGGLES/ADVERSARIES

8. April Message

ANT SPIRIT "time to collaborate"

Remember to build your dream, you need to work with others and accept help. Connecting with others and having accountability partners can be very helpful - it's unlikely that everyone will sleep on this project at the same time.

20. April Struggles/Adversaries

DEER SPIRIT "bring a gentle touch"

Be gentle and diplomatic when dealing with others. Negotiations may be necessary in order to reach your goals. You can be sure-footed and confident while also showing humility and respect for others. Your capacity for calm and grounded conversation is heightened at this time. Understanding others and putting their needs first will be especially rewarding at this time.

9. May Message

CANARY SPIRIT "Sing your own song"

You have been given the gift of pride and a healthy sense of worth. You are both King and Queen. Take pride in your ability to serve from the heart. Be proud yet humble.

21. May Struggles/Adversaries

NIGHTINGALE SPIRIT "love is all around"

In the dark, the nightengale sings to remind you that the sun will rise soon. You are so loved, and in times of sadness it is important to remember that there is love and light all around you. Feel it, and remember that the light and illumination will come to you soon.

10. June Message

CHAMELEON SPIRIT [R] "Act as if"

Being sensitive and having empathy for others can be quite a burden if you don't practice self-care. It may be time to remember where you end and the rest of the world begins, and to distinguish self from others. Choose some activities that restore your sense of being grounded and avoid those who revel in drama. Maybe take a break from social media, too. Step back and do some self-care to resolve this temporary problem.

22. June Struggles/Adversaries

COW SPIRIT "the miracles are endless"

You are at a beautiful part of life today - your needs are being met effortlessly, in so many ways. Focus on all you have right now - positive relationships, the work you are proud to be a part of, and activities that inspire you. It is the perfect time to focus on choices, actions, and behaviors that nourish you. Stay positive, and share your well being with others.

JUL-SEPT MESSAGES AND STRUGGLES/ADVERSARIES

11. July Message

FLAMINGO SPIRIT [R] "embrace the in-between"

If you're feeling nervous, stop worrying about the past and future. Instead, focus on the present. There is time to plan carefully, but for now be still, find your balance in the now, and relax.

23. July Struggles/Adversaries

PARROT SPIRIT [R] "watch your words"

Be mindful of the word flowing from your mouth, pen, or keyboard, and the beliefs you've chosen to internalize. Listen to what you say and your motives for saying it. Words have power, and you can change the conversation in your heart and in the world around you.

12. August Message

KOI FISH SPIRIT "there is always enough"

Within each of us is potential for prosperity. Begin to generate wealth within, no matter how small or slow the process is, or how small your pond. Outer conditions will reflect inner ones. You have so much to offer and so much value to the world. Don't underestimate yourself.

24. August Struggles/Adversaries

ANTELOPE SPIRIT [R] "life is speeding up!"

It's hard to control outcomes or goals because the time you're 'there' you've actually moved beyond 'there'. Let go and enjoy the ride as intentions you have set come to you in lightning speed. Make peace with the pace and you won't get bogged down. Keep moving!

13. September Message

LION SPIRIT "be generous of spirit"

25. September Struggles/Adversaries

MOUSE SPIRIT [R] "tend to the small things"

Are you focusing too much on small details, micromanaging others, and wanting everything to be perfect? The detail you think you're overlooking will only appear once you stop obsessing. Take a breath. You will find the detail you may not be seeing if you step back.

OCT-DEC MESSAGES AND STRUGGLES/ADVERSARIES

14. October Message

FROG SPIRIT [R] "clear out the clutter"

Voices may be bogging you down, keeping you from jumping forward. Let others create their dramas while you make space for yourself and your own thoughts. Let others manage their baggage instead of letting them dump it on you. If something is making you no longer feel joyful or empowered, it may be time to let it go.

26. October Struggles/Adversaries

BEAVER SPIRIT [R] "lay a solid foundation"

Perhaps you built your hopes on faulty promises or wishful thinking. Maybe you made choices from a place of unworthiness. It may be time to accept things as they are and abandon the project, relationship or situation to make room for something better. Maybe you have to go back and build a better foundation.

15. November Message

MOTH SPIRIT [R] "surrender now"

It is too easy to switch from one distraction to another. Practice moderation in all things and recognize when you think you're heading towards a light, but really you're heading towards fire and burnout. Do fearless inventory so your addictive behaviors can be rechanneled. Let go of your need for control.

27. November Struggles/Adversaries

OTTER SPIRIT "you are never alone"

Experience and express friendship in a tangible, and maybe even tactile, way. Let your love express itself in a way beyond the words you speak. Be present with those you care for, and celebrate the love in your life. You are never alone.

16. December Message

BUFFALO SPIRIT [R] "the abundant universe will provide

Shift your thinking from poverty consciousness, to trusting that the universe will provide. Don't fall into dark thoughts - make a gratitude list of everything you have and are grateful for, and shift into a positive mindset.

28. December Struggles/Adversaries

GIRAFFE SPIRIT "see the big picture"

It may be time to stretch out your neck and get a better view of the situation. No matter how great your knowledge or experience, you don't want to overlook details. Look beyond what catches your eye - a new perspective may help you.

Originally posted on @callu-na on January 18, 2020

#bos #tarot readings #laduree-et-cigarettes

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myempirepro-blog · 2 years

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Digital Marketing Certified - CHAPTER 4 - The Connection

CHAPTER 4 The Connection - So there are two types of connections I would like to share with you. The first type of connection is how you digitally connect the value we identified in chapter 3 with the person(s) we identified in chapter 2. And the second type of connection we will discuss is how to mentally connect your brand with the person(s).

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://myempirepro.com/digital-marketing-certified-chapter-4-the-connection-content-creation/

--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/nnXem7zRQBw

Let’s take it backwards a little bit. In the previous chapter, we talked about value. You learned how 85-90% of actions and acquisitions are initiated and triggered as emotional reactions; some justify with logic later.

We also reviewed a little about the motivation theories and how your competitors are probably selling products that have only 10% of the value you offer at 10 times of your prices. And they are selling them almost effortlessly to people that may not be able to afford it ordinarily.

We reminded ourselves of the six basic human needs, certainty, variety, significance, contribution, growth, and connection. And we discussed how you can use it to almost seem like you are creating value out of thin air.

When your message or “the value” covers just three of these six needs, it will simply come off as stupid for your person(s) to pass on your offer.

Every website, webpage, video, image, blogpost on your hubs need to be exchanging value with the users. A part of value is the user experience. How they feel as they travel that journey from discovery to conversion is your responsibility precisely because it’s ultimately valuable to you and the business you are building.

What you are offering may be the best in the market but we may never find out if whatever that is doesn’t translate to what is valuable to your users. It’s not just the product; it’s everything, even at the most micro-levels, that they will encounter in the process of interacting with your business; the experience.

So we now have to expand a little bit on value creation to create and establish strong connections digitally and mentally with your person(s). How do you show up in their dreams at night and stress the sh*t out of their sleep if they don’t buy?

1995-1996… Owo. Ondo State, Nigeria, West Africa. I was a 15 or 16 years old teenager. I would go visit my father in the office during the day where he was serving as a General Manager at his Uncle’s company.

I had been going to the office for a few years during holidays but I did it more after graduating high school. I didn’t go to University right away because we had opted for me to come back to the United States after 12 of my developing years in Nigeria.

I was at home for two years filling the gap of time; just waiting to secure accommodation in the States. My father had wanted me to study Architecture; that was his dream.

But one day during another visit to his office, I found out becoming an architect wasn’t my dream. It was the first time a website was opened in front of me on a 3 piece-suite equipment; a personal computer. The secretary at the office was testing it out and he would try numerous times to connect to the internet.

Thinking about it now, it was a painful process.. But not really because the frame of reference did not involve a broadband connection as we know it today.

It was exciting that he literally pulled up Toyota’s website that never could load a full Toyota logo; the connection was too slow. There was a blue placeholder but it was fascinating enough at the time. I’ve never left computing since then.

During that short break between high school and coming back to continue schooling and life in the States, I went over to the next biggest city, Akure, where I spent three months and became certified in Database Management.

I shared this story with you to establish a connection between you and the fact that the internet has grown from about 40 millions users in 1995 to more than 5 billion users at press time. If there are internet users increasing at that pace, that means that there are producers consistently connecting them to value increasingly and making stupid amount of money doing it.

Most websites back in 1995 were designed to provide information and not initiate transactions. But it's a different story today. You can now buy a whole car on the internet and have it delivered to your home.

Therefore it’s no longer enough to show a logo, and the company’s mission statement. Many businesses still have websites that can’t exchange money for product and services. A lot of them felt the heat and disadvantage of that in 2020 when covid hit our world.

My business doubled in that particular year because I was positioned to serve that market right from home. Sadly, many established businesses went under for not paying attention in all these years.

You have created the right offer. And you have done the market research, identified the right audience, the gurus and the brands they are presently following.

In fact, you are already paying time and money to attract them as visitors to your website. But the traffic is not converting to sales quickly enough for you. And you figured, it’s probably because you are just not getting enough traffic to the website.

So you have to come up with more funds to buy marketing and advertising in the hopes that enough prospects will convert to customers. Soon enough, you discovered that you are just multiplying your problems with money you don’t have and garnering more debt.

It’s not working. You quit and ran back to giving away free money to the agencies that still want to sell you newspaper and yellow book ads. Do yellow books still exist?

It is important to pre-design and pre-determine how you want to connect your value (the offer) to the person(s) based on what type of pre-framing the person(s) (the prospect) had been exposed to.

When your prospects know, like and trust you, they will buy without too much effort from you. Forget about that; when they feel like they know, like and trust you, they will buy even more from you. All of that is emotionally and mentally triggered if you know what you are doing.

I call it the KLT factor. Does the prospect feel like he or she knows, likes and trusts you? If you can’t answer that question, you are probably going to struggle with converting prospects to customers, clients and deals.

We use a formula called the “I.L.S.D.T.R.R” to build your KLT factor (a.k.a brand equity) in the digital space. The acronym stands for invest, learn, share, do, teach, refine and repeat. Let’s break it down.

The idea is to build digital agents and leave thousands of your footprints everywhere in the digital space without burning your resources up while doing it. If you follow me on social media, you can see us practicing what we preach with literally thousands of videos and articles everywhere.

This is it. I want you to INVEST time and possibly money in LEARNING, then SHARING what you are learning as often as possible via online videos, blogposts, infographic and more. After that, you actually want to DO (execute on) what you are learning in order to create experience or tacit knowledge.

If your business module permits it, you can build your business even faster by taking the sharing to the next level which is actually TEACHING from your knowledge and experience for a fee or more KLT factor and brand equity.

Then I want you to refine and repeat that process over and over again in order to create a massive web of nodes that link back to your hub. When you do this, you will build a massive brand equity that makes it super simple to connect your value to your person(s).

All these digital agents that you are creating will work for you forever. You couldn’t erase them off the internet if you try to after a while. And that is a good thing.

This is what I meant earlier when I mentioned pre-framing the prospects ahead of actually presenting them with an offer. The connection doesn’t start at the sales presentation. It starts before they even discover there is something to buy from you.

How cool would it be if your prospects are already asking you where to sign up before knowing if you have anything to sell or not. That’s the outcome of orchestrating a strong connection of value with your audience upfront.

By positioning yourself and your brand to help your audience by actually helping them, their minds are pre-framed to recognize your brand and business as their problem solver.

Sure, a properly scripted sales presentation is still necessary because some of them may have skipped to that part in your customer journey. But most of your time, energy and resource is best spent steering new prospects through a discovery point where you are actually helping them first before asking them to pay for something.

They usually start off with a question to answer or a problem to solve. Most people appreciate some useful information first before attempting to sell them on buying stuff.

In fact, there is a sector of your market that price point is really not a determining factor in their decision making process to buy.

It boils down to the KLT factor and brand equity. They need to feel like they know, like and trust you. And then they will pull out a credit card if anything remotely looks like their problem is solved.

The return on investment in learning, sharing, doing, teaching, refining and repeating is literally infinite especially if you add consistency to it.

In the world of digital marketing, we call this content creation. The idea is to come up with topic ideas that will appeal directly to your ideal customers’ needs. So I want to share four idea sources that will help you generate more than enough ideas to invest time and possibly money in learning more about so you can share.

Idea Source Number 1 - Write down 10 commonly or frequently asked questions that your ideal customers tend to ask. If this is a business that you are qualified to serve in, it should be pretty simple.

Let me give you a quick secret. You could be learning the business at the same time, in real time and using these same content creation skills to attract a significant size of the market. When you teach, you literally learn twice.

Most people in any business end up complacent and never learning anything new for years. But when you use this method to create thousands of connections and digital agents for prospects before getting to see your offer, you will remain at the top of your game.

Idea Source Number 2 - For this one, come up with and write down 10 questions you would advise an ideal prospect to ask your competitors. Of course, you want to make sure these are questions and problems that your content and products have answered and solved.

Idea Source Number 3 - Identify 10 common problems that your ideal prospect faces. It doesn’t have to directly be linked to the problems that your product solves.

But I want you to do it because the information you will provide in the content will actually serve an audience. But in addition to that, you may end up creating a tangible and usable solution if the piece of content is attracting a big enough audience.

Last but not least…

Idea Source Number 4 - Invest time to learn about 10 common mistakes that an ideal prospect would or could make and share each one as a piece of content. In addition to that, share tips on how to avoid the mistakes.

I’ve used this same method of connection to build my business and the good thing about it; you can verify. At press time, about 840 myEmpirePRO web pages are resulting and indexed on the Google Search Engine Results Page. (THE SERP).

And on another web property that I am building with my wife, LOLAandOLA.com, about 1,370 web pages of content are resulting and indexed. I am not even talking about other search engines such as Yahoo, Bing and many others that thrive off of picking up your content and connecting them with potential prospects all around the world for free.

65.78% of our audience at myEmpirePRO in the last 28 days from presstime are coming from the United States. 13.46% are coming from China. 3.77% are coming from Canada. The audience or traffic were connected from 48 different countries.

The beauty about digital marketing is the fact that you are also collecting tons of data with the various default activities of setting up and running these campaigns. That’s why I am able to share these results with you. In fact, you can check it yourself.

All you have to do is place this string ‘site:’ before any site with no spaces between them and search. For example, a simple search of ‘site:myempirepro.com’ will show the top of the SERP (search engine results page) and it will show you how many pages have been indexed from the site.

What about YouTube? We’ve published 1,304 videos and they are all working in our favor to connect more prospects to our hub. All these digital agents are not built overnight and they don’t need to be built overnight.

In fact, all it takes is one good piece of content to create a $10,000 day. But that also depends on what you are selling and your business model. You just never know what answered-question would resonate with someone’s deep pain. The more you put out there, the better.

In order to execute a massive connection, KLT and brand equity campaign, you have to create a main online hub where everyone comes to from all these different sources you will be putting out there. The main hub is a content management system and I recommend good ol’ Wordpress.

On the internet today, we have websites designed to simply display information like the Toyota website from 1995 in that story I shared with you earlier. But we also have websites designed to manage databases of content, users, and users’ information. We call them a content management system (CMS).

You have two options. You can build and code your CMS with all the bells and whistles that makes it a robust system to create millions of dollars in online transactions from scratch. The second option is what I recommend which involves leveraging existing tools and systems that allow you to customize with add-ons to perform even better than systems that are built from scratch.

Which option do you think you should go with? Okay. That wasn’t a trick question. It’s a simple question and it has a simple answer which is to leverage tools and systems so that you can get to making money as soon as possible.

At press time, Wordpress powers a little more than 40% of the websites online and their content management system. I recommend it because it works just like the iPhone and the Android phones. It’s an open source that allows vendors to continue to code additional features many of which you can leverage for free.

That’s why I recommend Wordpress in addition to the fact that I personally use it to manage my content marketing campaign. But there are also two different kinds of Wordpress websites.

Fully-hosted Wordpress website which is host at wordpress.com and

Self-hosted Wordpress website which means you are in full control of the features you attach to it.

You will understand fully later many reasons why it is better to go with option number 2 in addition to the fact that you are able to control how you are branded online.

Brand control is non-negotiable as we move into the future because competition is increasing. With a brand you create, you will eliminate a significant number of your competition because of brand loyalty; the same effect that Apple has on its customers. I recommend that you set up your self-hosted Wordpress hub with the company at this link for less than $10 per month. - myEmpirePRO.com/hosting

All of these you’ve learned thus far without setting them up as a system is just another job that will occupy your life with redundant activities and minimum wages. So in the next chapter, we will talk about changing these new insights into an automated system that takes your prospects on a journey from discovery to conversion and a happy customer.

By now, you are understanding slowly that setting up a website is just the bare minimum of digital marketing. Most websites on the internet are a ghost land. No one is visiting them much less initiating a transaction.

So there is a distinct difference between a digital marketer and a website designer or developer. The former is a minimum of a 6 figure career as a job and a 7-9 figure income when you use this skill as an entrepreneur. The latter is darn near a minimum wage job.

With systems, you can scale a campaign beyond what’s possible when all you’ve got are linear operations involving humans at every segment. You will learn about different segments in a customer’s life cycle and how systems can scale from 10 customers to 100 and to 1,000 customers being served simultaneously.

The last thing I want you to do is know all this cool stuff only to get stuck behind a laptop for 16 hours a day. While I definitely want you to understand the concepts that make this work, I will be sharing with you how to set, forget and collect on a regular basis leveraging the concept of systems..

Check out this episode!

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dreamertrilogys · 3 years

Quote

I was told that a poem could really mean anything. Poems could have grammatical mistakes, they could give a fuck about narrative or the space-time continuum or reality as we knew it. Poetry was an attempt to dig into the buried stuff inside a person’s psyche. It used dream logic instead of the logic of our waking lives. Poems were sputtered by demons not sprung out of morality. In other words, poems were deep shit, and they were also anything at all

Jenny Zhang, “How It Feels”

#fave #words #jenny zhang #on poetry #w #*#trc core #just needed this on my blog for the dream logic part <3 #dreamer trilogy #on writing #dreams #tdt

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findingmyselfatm · 3 years

Text

Super specific placements astro notes/rants

Usual disclaimer: take this with a grain of salt and only what resonates.

You can look at Chiron and the planets it touches to see conflicts/trauma regarding family remembers or people in general

Sun - father, masculine figures

Moon - mother, feminine figures

Mercury - siblings/cousins (not sure with this one)

Venus - feminine figures.

I want to elaborate on this one. I personally don't like assigning gender to placements, but energies. Feminine and masculine don't directly point to gender, only behavioural characteristics.

Mars - masculine figures

Jupiter - masculine/mentor figures

Saturn - authority figures (you may also look at the midheaven for this one, although its meaning is a little distorted)

That moment when you even hint at mercury-uranus, mercury-saturn, mercury-mc, mercury in the 1H/3H/6H/7H/9H/10H/11H that they are stupid 😀🔪 I am calling myself out with this one.

Mercury-uranus makes someone's intellect their pride, what makes them stand out. Mercury-saturn go through a lot of wrestling with how intelligent they are.

Mercury-mc suggests that they are known for their smarts, and they are truly pragmatic(they look up to intelligence as well).

Mercury in the 1st house makes intellect part of their core identity, meanwhile mercury in the 3rd is in its home, how can you insult something in its more comfortable place?

Mercury in the 6th may doubt their intelligence a lot, despite how logical they most likely are in their day to day life.

Mercury in the 7th brings rationality in their relationships, and its also something they are recognized for.

Mercury in the 9th, I have this one, really ties intellect to personal beliefs. Insulting their brains is like Insulting what they believe in.

Mercury in the 10th, just like mercury-mc. And mercury in the 11th house is also probably thought of as rational as well. Their friends know it, their community knows it.

Trines are lazy. These aspects give so much potential but it's so easy to lose focus with them, this is why I prefer sextiles over trines.

Your 12th house represents your dreams. Whatever you have on your 12th house can point to how your dreams are.

F.e I have moon in the 12th. My dreams tend to include lots of feminine figures and emotions. I also have capricorn on my 12th house, so routine and constant reminders of my responsibilities keep popping up

Scorpio on the 12th house may have nightmares often

Gemini/Sagittarius on rhe 12th may have very bizzare dreams.

Libra on the 12th may dream a lot about relationships

We tend to turn towards the opposite house we have our Chiron in.

9th house? The person may turn towards facts, logic and education (3rd house) to make up for their wounded beliefs (others may have said they're too drastic or simply stupid, or religious trauma etc)

1st house? We tend to turn to others (7th house)

4th house Chiron can indulge too much in their career or public image(10th house)

Not much of an astro note but, any other Libra venus in the 8th house here? I swear I could have been such a flirt if I had it in the 7th house or 9th, LMAO. 8th house venus kind of hides the venus sign's traits. Only when you get to know me I truly display the Libra qualities. Until then I am like :|

Also, talking about libra venus, I saw it get a lot of hate in the community despite it being one of the best venus placements objectively.

If anyone here has Virgo sun in the 7th, please focus more on yourself and less on what others think. It is indeed a quality to be considerate, but you also have to not lose yourself

The ascendnat doesn't only represent looks amd first impressions, but also your identity and self. I don't think ascendant aspects in synastry get a lot of credit, being shunned as superficial and simply physical attraction. I believe they are the representation of how the people involved see each other and shape their identity, what sides they bring out of each other.

I think that the best compability is shown by asteroid Juno. If someone has major or prominent sign placements as your juno sign, then you are most likely a good match (especially if it's mutual)

Mars in pisces may be passive, but don't confuse that with weakness. I noticed that most of the time these people tend to brush off or try to forget conflict, which in the end can actually be beneficial (most of the time, there are moments when confrontation is needed). While some may describe them as fickle, when developed they can be very resillient ngl.

You don't relate to the physical descriptions of your ascendant? That's totally fine! There can he multiple reasons for this, first one being that astrology cannot determine how we look, genetics do that, and second you should look at your ascendant aspects and other planets you have in the 1st house.

I have aquarius rising. Most descriptions say thay we're tall, meanwhile I'm here at 5'2, buuut I also have neptune in the 1st and ascendant conjunct chiron. I don't mean to discredit people who do these descriptions, they're actually accurate! My friend also has an aquarius rising and Uranus in the 1st and they look exactly like that--

I personally love the 5th house in astrology. Mine is empty but I've met some people with stelliums in it and my god they're so fun to be around!

5th house stelliums are naturally focused on hobbies, fun activities, children and the self (not necessarily inna selfsih way lmao). They are most likely very artistic and knowledgeable in their interests.

Many squares to the midheaven can point towards difficulty in reaching dreams, but also lots lots of potential. I've read somewhere that squares are blessings in disguise, so people with an extremely squared mc will have to go through a lot but it will definitely be worth it in the end.

Not much of a note again but I have an empty 10th house but a lot of focus on the 9th and 11th house. If anyone has these as well, are you career/project oriented but very little interested in the public eye?

If you really want to get into astrology, I recommend checking out your vedic chart. You get introduced to a bunch of new aspects and systems, but in the end I personally found the analysis I got very accurate. (You can check out @meandmypeace their blog is very insightful!)

Taurus risings are really down to earth, but I noticed they tend to space out a lot

Oh, you have a Leo venus? Let me tell you how cool you are. My bestie has this placement and my god they're one of the best people to offer comfort and affection. Their way of displaying it is very cute but also rather intense. It makes my libra venus go <3 they love attention and praise but they deserve it too lmao- when healthy they really care for the people close to them and are truly protective of them. Also side note, they may or may not pride themselves in the relationships they have

And that's it. Thanks for reading!

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sluttywonwoo · 3 years

Text

3 nights || jw x reader

summary: a one-night hookup turns into three (based off of the song 3 nights by dominic fike )

warnings: swearing, smut (18+), unprotected sex (uh yeah don’t do that)

word count: 2.2k

a/n: this is an old tom holland piece of mine that i thought would fit wonwoo (my tom holland blog is @wazzupmrstark if you wanna check it out)

masterlist

A hellish smirk tugged at Wonwoo’s lips as he gazed down at his phone in the midst of a pitch meeting. He glanced at the image he’d been sent for a second more before sliding his phone back in his pocket and lifting his head to indicate he was paying attention. But he was distracted. It wasn’t exactly uncommon for Jeon Wonwoo to receive nude pictures from unsaved numbers, but he was pretty sure he knew who this one was from. At least he hoped. You had cropped your face out of it, but from the expanse of your collarbone to the curve of your hip he could recognize the freckles under your breasts and the small scar just below your belly button.

He waited until he was dismissed from the meeting to respond. Didn’t want to seem too eager.

What did I do to deserve this out of the blue, darling?

You didn’t respond right away. He shouldn’t have been surprised, he hadn’t responded right away, so why would you? You had better things to be doing than sit around waiting for him to text back, but a selfish part of him wished that you were.

You were a bit different from Wonwoo’s other lays, but he didn’t mean that in the nauseating ‘you’re not like other girls’ way that men liked to use to get into a girl’s pants. He didn’t really need to use cheesy, comparative shit like that if he was being honest. All he had to do was send a wyd text at 2am to get a girl to come over. Unless that girl was you.

Of course, you were beautiful, and incredible in bed, but something about you always left him wanting more. Maybe it was the fact that your presence was fleeting, you never stayed very long afterwards. Maybe your elusiveness tugged at a deeper curiosity in the back of his mind that he was unaware of. He was already familiar with every inch of your body, but truthfully he knew very little else about you. and maybe that’s what intrigued him.

Or maybe it was the simplicity. Routine hookups, no strings attached- regardless of how many times you came… over.

Whatever it was that kept you on his mind, Wonwoo didn’t dwell. He pushed all questions and logic away when he was with you. And when he wasn’t… he tried not to think about it. But it was difficult not to when you sent him pictures like that out of nowhere, no context, not even a response.

Ding!

Never mind.

Oops wrong person ;)

Wonwoo let out a low chuckle and shook his head. Of course, there was a small part of him that wondered if you had actually meant to send that to someone else, but he shook it off. If he knew you at all, which granted he really didn’t, he knew this game.

He didn’t hesitate to respond this time.

Shame… was gonna ask if you were busy tonight.

Only a few seconds passed before his phone buzzed again.

What did you have in mind??

You.

It was corny, sure, but effective.

I think I can make something work.

He grinned at the screen and sighed, licking his lips.

9pm. Our place.

You hadn’t even taken off your coat by the time he had you up against the door with his mouth on your neck, pressing breathy kisses to your skin. You gasped as he sucked a hickey just under your jaw, closing your eyes and moaning his name.

A seedy motel in the middle of the city wasn’t the… most ideal spot for late night booty calls. The sunset-colored wallpaper was peeling and the showers only worked sometimes, but in the grand scheme of things, location wasn’t important. It was still the best sex of your life, and they had cheap vending machine snacks.

The bed creaked and choked out a cloud of dust when Wonwoo pushed you onto it, but you just laughed and pulled at the waistband of his jeans for him to join you.

He smiled into a kiss that turned desperate. His hands were on your zipper, your bra clasp, your panties, anything to get you undressed faster. You held in a whimper when he sat up to undo his belt, something about the way he did that always drove you crazy. He smirked knowingly as he did and took his time.

You whined impatiently and nudged at him with a knee to hurry up. Thankfully, Wonwoo wasn’t one to leave you hanging and was back on you instantly. He pressed a thigh in between your legs and licked a stripe up the valley of your breasts, choosing the left, his favorite, to nip at.

“Fuck, Wonwoo,” you groaned, grinding up against him.

He paused and lifted himself so that he was hovering above you. “How was your day?”

You rolled your eyes and threw your head back in frustration. “Can we not?”

“I can’t ask you how your day was?”

“That’s not what I’m here for, and you know it.”

“Then what are you here for?” he asked, wanting you to say it out loud. You kissed him instead and took the distraction as an opportunity to pull him by the collar and flip him so that you were on his lap.

You tugged at his jeans and boxers playfully. “This.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “Good one.”

“I know.”

He lifted his head to kiss you and you gave in with a quick peck on the lips. As often as you were with Wonwoo, you never took the time to notice how pretty he was. You knew he was hot. You could write an entire dissertation on how fucking fit he was, but as you gazed down at him underneath you you realized just how lovely this boy really was, especially like this. His dark hair was soft and wavy without all the product in it, and god his lips were so pink, and the way he looked at you…

You kissed him again, fiercely this time, and slid a hand down his pants just to feel him. He groaned, already needy.

“Wait-” he pulled back and sat up on his elbows.

“What?” You were worried you’d done something wrong, stared at him like you were in love with him for a second too long and he’d caught on.

“Do you want me to go down on you?”

You sighed in relief and laughed. “No need, I’m already soaked.”

“I can tell,” he quipped back and quirked an eyebrow.

You were a little embarrassed he could feel your arousal through his jeans and cursed. “Fuck you!”

“I believe you were just about to.”

“You’re lucky I’m horny, Wonwoo,” you growled.

“Tell me about it.” He smirked and laid back with an arm over his head.

Sometimes you wondered if the sex was really worth it, even if he was the best you’d ever had…

Of all the ways Wonwoo could fuck you, this had to be one of his favorites. There was just something about you on top of him that he couldn’t handle. The way your delicate gold necklace dangled in his face as you rode him, the way his hands fit so perfectly on your ass, the way your hair hung around your shoulders. He never lasted long.

To be fair, neither did you. And the way Wonwoo was saying your name wasn’t helping. Every time you lowered yourself back on him and his cock hit that spot inside you that burning intensity in your stomach grew a little stronger.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t out of breath and your thighs weren’t starting to get sore, but Wonwoo was begging you not to stop and you’d be damned if you let him down.

“Y/n, I’m close,” he warned and brought his fingers to your clit to make sure you were right there with him.

You just nodded, too far gone to say much else as you chased the high that was just out of reach. Wonwoo thrust up into you a final time and finished with a moan of your name tumbling from his lips.

Even as he was coming down he continued to massage your clit.

“Cum for me, love.” His voice was spent and gravelly and his eyes were pleading and fuck, who were you to deny him? You gripped his shoulders hard as your whole body tensed and you tipped over the edge.

And for a moment the world stopped spinning and time stopped moving as electricity surged through your body and you forgot your own name.

Wonwoo was still whispering words of quiet praise when you collapsed on his chest seconds later, trembling.

“That’s it, darling. That’s good.”

You let him rub your back like that until you caught your breath enough to sit up and roll off of him. You immediately started collecting your clothes from around the room and putting them back on as Wonwoo did the same.

“Two cherry cokes?” he asked and you nodded.

“And powdered donuts?”

“Give me some credit, how could I forget?”

It was something of a tradition to share a snack and a soda after you hooked up. It had started on a night when both of you were too drunk to drive anywhere afterwards so you passed the time sitting in bed eating stale powdered donuts and drinking soda to sober up. Logically, you could have slept it off and went home the next morning, but it was a rule you had to never sleep over at a one-night-stand’s place. Even neutral territory like this was off limits.

Wonwoo could’ve gone to bed without you and left you to fend for yourself but instead he made the trek out to the vending machines in his boxers to get you both some food. Turns out cherry coke was the only soda they had, and there was no telling how old it was, but it was better than nothing.

That night was so long ago, but you still remembered how he stayed up with you until four in the morning watching shitty reality shows on the fuzzy tv, talking about exes and weird dreams and hobbies you both wanted to learn. You wondered if he ever ended up teaching himself pottery.

Wonwoo was back with the goods before you could blink and handed you your respective share of the stash. You held your can up and clinked it against his before taking a sip. You’d grown to like the syrupy sweet taste of it by now, and even found yourself craving it when you weren’t with Wonwoo.

“Same time tomorrow?” Wonwoo asked as you buttoned your pants.

“You’ll still be in town?”

Usually he didn’t stay for long unless he was working on his music so you didn’t let yourself get hopeful just in case he was kidding.

“And the next day,” he confirmed. It was an invitation.

“You’re not one for planning ahead,” you pointed out, gathering the rest of your belongings in your arms.

“There’s a first time for everything.”

Wonwoo didn’t sleep well that night. He never did when he wasn’t in his own bed, but this was different. He couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened just hours ago in that run-down motel by the highway and what might happen tomorrow.

His members had been confused when he moved his flight back home two days and he hadn’t given them any other explanation than ‘catching up with friends’ for them to go off of. He had those days off anyway. Seoul would be fine without him until then.

But uncertainty lingered in his mind. What if you didn’t call? What if you were busy? He knew your world didn’t revolve around him, but he was starting to wish it did. It was stupid, and there were dozens of other people he could call for a quick fuck in this town if you stood him up, but suddenly none of them sounded interesting.

He circled back to that picture you’d sent him earlier and found himself wishing he could see your face.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” he muttered out loud to no one in particular and forced himself to turn his phone off to try and sleep again.

The second night was much like the first. Quick sex, donuts, cherry coke. You didn’t even finish your half of the donuts before you were out the door. You expected the third night to be the same, along with that awkward ‘we might never see each other again’ interaction that happens at the end of every fling, but what you got was far from it.

“You should stay.”

You already had one shoe on when he dropped that out of nowhere and-

“What?” was all you could say.

“It’s late, you should stay over. We could get breakfast in the morning or something.”

“Wonwoo, I-”

“You don’t sleep over after one-night-stands, I know.”

“Then why are you asking me?”

“Well, it’s been three nights…” he trailed off.

“But it’s the same arrangement,” you argued.

“What if it wasn’t?”

You put down your other shoe and stood up. “What are you saying?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted.

“I have those rules for a reason. I didn’t just make them up for fun. Without them… feelings get hurt. Hearts get broken. Things get complicated.”

“I know.” Wonwoo sighed softly and took a tentative step towards you. “But-”

“But what?”

“But it doesn’t have to be like that,” he finished. “It won’t be like that.”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t,” he said honestly. “But there’s a first time for everything.”

lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

send me an ask to be added to my taglist

#3 nights #jeon wonwoo x reader #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo x you #wonwoo x y/n #wonwoo smut #jeon wonwoo smut #seventeen smut

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annadier · 3 years

Text

Domniţă {Part 3}

Summary: The Winter Soldier was hired to protect you, guard you, risk his life for you. You are important. Your family is important. You become intrigued by the blue-eyed stoic man who stands by your side, and something brews between the two of you. Set during the Cold War. Winter Soldier!Bucky Pairing: Bucky x Reader Word count: 1178

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 |

“Are you okay?” He asked you. It felt strange to hear his voice muffled by the mask he wore. You almost did not reply. Then you looked into his eyes, steel blue, and saw real emotion in them. Concern. Fear. To think once upon a time you had theorised that he was a robot with how reserved he normally is.

“Yeah.” The word left your mouth infused with shakiness. You tried to calm down your heart, but it was still racing from the attack. He noticed. Of course, he did. He walked over to you, carefully kneeling to pick you up. Your back ached from being pushed into the ground. The cry you let out when he lifted you off the ground told him as much.

“Can you walk?” He asked you. You barely heard him, focusing on the three men on the ground unmoving. “Y/N!” He said a bit more emphatically, grabbing your attention.

You snapped your head back to him, looking at him. Concern. Fear. Worry. “Can you walk?” He asked again. Slowly, you nodded a ‘yes’ and let him hesitantly lower you.

Instinctively, you rubbed your wrists where they had grabbed you tightly. It stung. You let out a hiss without realising and The Soldier was onto you instantly. He grabbed your hands, inspecting them carefully. Fear was gone from his eyes now. Anger replaced it. Anger. Concern. Worry. You caught him glance over at the thugs. “I’m fine.” You said softly. “Just bruised.”

He didn’t say anything to you now. He simply stepped back to call your father, talking in hushed muffled tones, informing him of your safety and that the situation had been dealt with. You focused on the thugs, taking careful steps around them, just out of reach if one miraculously woke up.

The call was made. More men arrived and took the thugs away. “Are they dead?” You asked him.

There were people around. You honestly were not expecting a response, that was not his normal. You had no idea why you had asked him in the first place, but you were in shock, you would later argue with yourself. And yet... he replied. “No. Your father will want to question them.” He said it so bitterly, as if he had wanted to kill them. That scared you.

Logically, you knew that a bodyguard’s job is to protect you. That involves killing people. He had literally killed to protect you the first time you had ever met him. And yet. This time, his desire to kill felt less like a professional obligation. He drove you back home, taking someone’s car. You were not sure whose but it had to have belonged to your father’s men. The drive was silent, the only sound that registered was when the hum of the engine cut abruptly as he got out to open your door. He never spoke unless spoken to, and you had nothing to say. This was your own fault. You had sneaked out without anyone. You knew it could have been dangerous – and oh Lord, how it was! – everything about this was on you.

“I’m sorry.”

Two words broke the silence as you walked to your room. You did not say anything. So, he must have. But why would he be apologising? You stared at him in confusion. This time, he didn’t stand outside the door, like a dutiful statue. He walked right in with you, closed the door and sat beside you.

“I should have been there. That was my job.” He sounded pained and mournful. It hurt you to think that this was probably the most human you had seen him look in two years. Whoever he truly was, It was beginning to peak through. "I'm sorry."

“No, no.” You denied. “I ran outside. I knew what I was doing.” No you did not! You argued with yourself. If you knew what you were doing, you would not have needed to be saved by him!

“I should have noticed sooner. I should have been there to protect you!” His voice raised, almost in panic. A thought filled your mind: what would have happened if he had not arrived when he did?

Tears welled up in your eyes. How could you have been so foolish? “We’re they going to kill me?” You asked him in a voice that could barely constitute as a whisper. Your lip trembled. He pulled you close. He did not answer your question. He did not know what they had planned for you, but he wished he could have killed them all the same.

He let you lie across his lap, and cry silently to let the fear out. He shushed you when you blamed yourself, he run his hands through your hair until you calmed down. Not for the first time, you we’re grateful he was there.

He watched you slowly ease into drowsiness as the adrenaline and fear faded away. He moved to stand up and lay you back in your bed but from where you were sitting now that he gently pushed you off of him, you grabbed onto his hand before he became out of reach.

“Stay?” You asked in a small voice. “I don’t want to be alone. Please?” He looked at the door with a concerned look. “I’ll say I needed you here to feel safe. I do, really. Please? Just…just tonight?”

“Okay.” He nodded without hesitancy. And really how could he deny that? Keeping you safe was his job, that was his mission.

You climbed under the covers and insisted he join you There was some hesitancy now. He insisted sitting on a chair next to you, What would happen if your father came in? Fear climbed back up your throat. Father. Thugs. You could have died? What if you had died, and this was a dream, a last minute of peace before the great beyond? He did not need to hear your thoughts to read you like an open book. When tears began to well, he gave in.

His body was warm. There was space on your large bed, but you found yourself drawn towards him. It was nice, but every time you closed your eyes, all you could see was the brutality of tonight. “Can you hold me?” You weren’t sure if he heard you, or if you had even really said it out loud but his arms wrapped around you, holding you close to his chest. It was almost like he needed the reassurance of your life. It was in this warmth that you finally found enough comfort to fall asleep. When you woke up the next morning, he was standing dutifully outside the door with his hands clasped behind his back. You barely missed the slight smile that peaked as you walked passed him before he drew his mask back up.

You would never know this, but that night, the Soldier had never slept. He forced himself awake incase a new threat came into the room while you were vulnerable - either enemies or your father.

Part 4

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steve0discusses · 3 years

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Yugioh S5 Ep 20: Pharaoh’s Cool New Trick

Digging my way through quite a pile of commission work (funny how these things only come all at once or not at all), nearing the light at the end of the tunnel, was looking forward to some free time to catch up on my many little side projects when I was asked to take off for a weekend to do some cat-sitting to which I would NEVER say no to a cat, so like...Rip this blog I guess, we only update like once a week nowadays, but what do you do?

That’s right, play Puzzles and Dragons! The only phone game worth paying any attention to! Where they just released Pegasus on their Yugioh Collab and he looks pretty great!

So I’m just gonna take a second for some art appreciation, because the Puzzles and Dragons art team is just A++++ honestly, and yes, I did pull 13 times to get a Pegasus in my monster box, and yes, he is a completely insane team leader that is absolutely broken when paired with Yugi (the numbers are so satisfying) but...look at him. He looks so good!

(also I finally got Joey Wheeler, and so now my gatcha cravings are settled. And, don’t worry, I play this game so much that I was there during Christmas when they offered like a bajillion stones for free so I didn’t actually use real money on this.)

Now PAD also released a Weevil and Rex, and I don’t know why, and neither does the art team because they still look pretty good but in comparison to all the mains, they sure do looks like just some shorty guys in some casuals.

though I gotta admit, I want to learn how the hell this art team does swooshy effects, because man, that would make my art so much better to just have flames violently exploding out of all my art. Why am I not doing that more often? I have the technology.

anyway, I didn’t bother trying to pull them. Maybe I’ll accidentally pull them when they eventually release a Duke Devlin. (also, RIP to the fact that Roland will probably never be in Puzzles and Dragons but like...I can only send them so many polite letters covered in stickers pretending I’m some 10 year old child and writing in my broken Hiragana “Roland in PAD?”. Thems the breaks. (They also might not remember who Roland is.))

Shoutouts to the card that Weevil is holding that is censoring this nipple on the booby spider, PS.

So because this is not actually a Puzzles and Dragons blog, and it’s been ten eons since I regularly updated so I could remember episode to episode...where the hell were we?

That’s right, we’re on an island now. This show’s wonderful obsession with evil islands (and spoiler, this is one of the few Yugioh Islands that doesn’t explode at the end. Mostly because Kaiba isn’t here to do it or this place would be cinder)

(read more island stuff under the cut)

Anyway, after announcing “hey guys! Screw islands!” Yugi immediately collapses and without any warning.

Apparently the armor is a big ol parasite, which is something that Yugi is so used to at this point that he refuses to admit that this is a problem. Just normal Muto stuff, refusing to tell anyone that he has a serious illness going on underneath that giant mass of hair.

(the sailor moon vibes coming off this weird orb energy)

Sort of feels like a call back to S1 when Yugi was clearly possessed and everyone else was like “He acting weird to you?” except it’s S5 and everyone has learned to never trust Yugi when he says he’s fine and they are responding like he is about to die. Which is correct.

Outside of the cave falls this scroll that is...glowing, I guess. So they open it up and get a bunch of hieroglyphs that give them the “riddle of light” and like youknow...it’s riddle stuff.

They’re doing this riddle for “wings.” And it’s like...everyone’s monster here has a set of wings or an ability to fly. Every single monster except for I dunno, flaming swordsman? Hell, Yugi himself had two sets of wings when he fused with Dark Magician (which was weird, and I still don’t like to think about what technically was going on there.) But we have to go and get ourselves even more wings.

Weirdly, Joey turns to Tea and does something that in any other show would be completely normal. He was like “you want to stay here with Yugi, don’t you?” and it was the first time Joey has ever actually addressed the fact that Tea and Yugi are close. Uncharted territory. I was amazed at the amount of casual shipping that is happening here. It’s almost like a normal ass relationship.

So the boys decide to go off, and be boys and tackle this themselves. And they shouldn’t have, because Tea is smart for this group, and also has the only healing spell.

Like if you’re playing D+D you wouldn’t typically leave your only healer behind. Just saying.

Also like...Grandpa Muto went with them? I guess he’d have to since he’s the translator but also...kind of weird to leave your grandson dying in a cave, but maybe that’s just the Muto lifestyle.

Do not be fooled by my caps, no one has addressed the Bakura in the puzzle for 3 seasons. I’m starting to think this show will never address the Bakura in the puzzle. Which honestly, that would be hilarious if they made a big deal out of that plot point and then couldn’t use it in the end.

And speaking of plot points that kind of come out of nowhere and don’t make full sense with the continuity of the show--Joey has regressed back to the 4th grade.

Hey show? What?

So like if you love Joey, this is not the arc for you, because this arc he is reduced to a Himbo and nothing else. Straight up didn’t know what an echo is, but is very strong and pretty, I guess.

This inevitably happens with any TV show becuase different people make different parts, and I’ve brought up before that sometimes it feels like some teams only have loose post-it notes of what any character should be like at any given point (ESPECIALLY with Seto Kaiba’s timeline) but like...

...Personally I’m mot so fond of this interpretation of Joey, kind of ignores Joey’s best traits, and makes Tristan look way too smart in comparison (and like I always pinned Tristan to be the Himbo of the group, but maybe it’s because they give Tristan so little else to do?)

And like don’t get me wrong, Joey’s a dumbass a lot of the time and needs to get corrected by his pals...but...to the point he doesn’t know what an echo is? He’s a dumbass in a High School student sort of way, youknow?

Anyway, they get down to this big ravine, and they have to destroy this stone while the light passes over it. Kind of feels like a Breath of the Wild shrine quest, actually. In fact, I think Breath of the Wild recycled the shadow/sunlight pathing quest like 4 or 5 times. (I love Breath of the Wild to death but boy did they run out of ideas at the end there.)

They have to fight a glass monster and it’s kind of like...do you know the game Balls 3D? probably not, but it looked like a bunch of random shapes stuck together like a 90′s animation. They basically went to war with shapes.

Pure Himbo energy, has several pokemon, but punches for his pokemon instead of using them. A power move if I ever saw one.

Youknow that would make pokemon a lot more interesting if you could like throw out your pikachu, and then choose to just physically run up to your opponents Eevee and sock it in the jaw. Raise of hands--I know you all would love a version of pokemon like that. Let Ash Ketchum punch a Ratata.

Bro has informed me that Ash does do something like this in the anime. But I’m not talking about the anime, I’m talking about the video game. Give me the option to physically combat my rival. This is what I want, Pokemon.

They discover a way to break the monolith, and the show thinks we’re like actually 7 years old (because the show is Y7, although I forget because it deals with so many dark themes) so the show is going to hold on to this puzzle for a while...just to fill time. And it’s fine because we gotta switch over to Pharaoh anyway.

Yami has this dream again. He attempts to fuse with Dark magician to overcome the dream, but alas, he is still not strong enough.

Yugi wakes up in this murky cave while Tea is out washing out like...some rag? (he’s also still got a rag, so I guess multiple rags were required for how sweaty Yugi is.)

Yugi says “I feel like I’m a new man!” a lot in this episode, and every time he calls himself a man like he’s some sort of adult it’s very funny to me.

And then this plot lore dropped.

I mean I guess inevitably it had to happen...

But man, end of an era. It was freakin hilarious while it lasted: that Pharaoh refused to read ancient Egyptian because it’s like 2002 and he is a High Schooler living in Japan and he actually doesn’t WANT to resolve the mystery of the puzzle. Maybe the people who made this arc don’t know about how in S2 and S3, the fact Pharaoh couldn’t read Marik’s back tatt was like...a really big issue. He couldn’t read the God card, he couldn’t even read that massive tablet that read “HEY PHARAOH THIS IS LITERALLY YOU”. KAIBA had to tell him how to read the God card for him. Freakin Seto “Magic is a lie” Kaiba had to tell him how to use the God Card because Pharaoh couldn’t read it.

But like...Pharaoh finally gave in at some point after the world was devoured by the Leviathan, and before Kaiba finished building Kaibaland (which was already built in S1 but wtv)

The timelines on this show have always been a mishmash...but this one is just like...

...show are you trying to convince me that at any point in this show after season Zero, Pharaoh had any idea what he was doing? Did he sap that brain energy straight out of Joey Wheeler so he could do this?

Wow.

(secretly hoping he forgets how to read Egyptian after this arc is over and the show goes back to the other development team)

Pharaohs reasoning is that, if this is the riddle of the light.....

....then where is the riddle of darkness????????????

and when Tea was like “Pharaoh that is not even remotely logic. Omg it’s so bright outside, lets go back to gross cave.” and Pharaoh was like “Tea! You got it!” and she was like “What the hell are you talking about?”

Not gonna lie, I saw the Orichalcos green, and I got concerned.

Anyway, Yugi gets very frustrated and was like “ugh, lets go save em. They’re gonna die (again.)” and marches down there as if he didn’t pass out an hour ago.

And he fuses with Dark Magician again while everyone else (including his grandpa) was like “Yugi are you freakin kidding me? The suit freakin kills you omg! Tea you had one freakin job!”

And then we get the plot twist that...I mean it makes sense but it was choreographed in a confusing way.

And out of no where this guy shows up again:

So this mysterious man shows up and says “If you don’t succeed you have to live here forever” which...nice...that would probably save the world a lot of problems if Yami got locked away and took his OP puzzle with him. And then this man also says “if you do succeed you become VERY POWERFUL” and Yami was like. “...”

This whole episode had a theme to it, where Tristan and Joey were trying to prove that they could do things on their own and without Yugi’s help. And honestly...felt a little bit misplaced. Yami’s the same guy who murdered Yugi last season with the Orichalcos so like...

...I mean he is probably more reliable than Tristan who once died and turned into a robot monkey for 10ish episodes.

and then they flew into a glowing door.

Folks, this was wild to look at.

This is wild.

And at this point I closed Photoshop and thought I was done. But then I looked at my timeline on the video and was like...wait...there’s more?

and I’m really glad I kept watching because it went back to Alex, who...is apparently just still at those steps in this haunted ass Pyramid.

Now we’re watching Yugioh.

I forgot for a second when they turned Joey into a Himbo and made Pharaoh literate, but we’re back. I mean...

...look at the liner art on this adult man.

So...I posit the question...has Alex spent the last 2-3 episodes doing nothing but applying eyeliner to his face in the dark? Because he absolutely has. And honestly, the vibe of being in a spooky haunted pyramid with barely any light, just applying eyeliner down the edge of your face...that’s a Yugioh vibe, if I ever saw one.

This arc is wild. Anyway, next episode we do even more fetch quests and riddles? Just going to guess now that we probably will.

(and for those new here, this is a link so you can read them from the top. Which, since we’re in S5, means you got like...hours of Yugioh content to read through. Enjoy the rewards of my weird hobby.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#Yugioh #Yu-Gi-Oh #yami yugi #S5 #Ep20 #It's actually Ep 20 now I was wrong last time #Yugi muto #Grandpa Muto #Alexander the Great #Joey Wheeler #Tristan Taylor #Tea Gardner #TeaxYugi #never thought I would ever use that tag #in this show where they are canonically dating but sometimes it happens #Puzzles and Dragons #Because yes I had to talk about it. This collab is great

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