#just listen to people who belong to a marginalized group

[cringeghostking]

it’s 1am so this is more of a note to self than anything but:

Nimona isn’t human. She’s her own thing, and the movie refuses to explain where she came from or if others are like her (good). Nimona doesn’t want to find *her* people genetically, she wants to find her *people* in terms of found-family, something she’s always been denied for being different regardless of what species she seeks out

Ballister is an outcast well before he’s used to murder the queen, but for the majority of his life he’s able to carve out a place of belonging. he has institutional power and privilege in a way nimona doesnt, even when he’s seen as a queen-killing villain

Ballister’s character arc is about learning to challenge his internal biases and be a good friend and ally to Nimona, and despite himself also being a type of minority in this world, he never understands her from the lens of his own experiences; he has to mentally venture out from what he knows to meet her where she is. he doesn’t automatically understand who she is because he himself has experienced ostracization, he asks her (sometimes small-minded) questions and listens to her answers and learns---she understands what it is to abruptly lose the community you love, but he doesnt easily understand what it is to shapeshift, but he wants to---or at least, wants to understand her better. and that results in him defending her to his literal childhood best friend / partner.

this but community infighting + how tribalistically dividing the queer community, demanding that we split up into our own little pieces of the alphabet alienates us from each other just as surely as we’re alienated from the broader world. how you can be a minority or part of a marginalized group and suffer in your life for those things and still have privilege compared to others (and how you can bond together with those people and not resent your differences in experience, and have compassion for the parts that suck and work together to achieve world domination your goals)

idk, something about ballister explicitly having grown up hurt and othered no matter how hard he tried to make himself palatable, how ballister graduated top of his class by merit alone and he is still always going to be “the first crack in the wall,” (and being top in the class over the descendant of gloreth is another, and the queen declaring anyone can hold the sword henceforth is another, and so on); there is no world where ballister makes himself Good Enough to not be a threat, and even though nimona knows this, she backs him up and fights for him and hopes against her better judgment that the system can be changed and only walks when he refuses to have her back

and how this is still nimona’s movie and the point is how ballister may be a crack but she’s a fucking wrecking ball in the wall and she must be destroyed at any cost

something something abt respectability politics, yk?

anyway. this is just one thread im kinda absently picking at but fr im going to absorb this movie until it replaces blood in my veins and i can play it while holding a conversation without missing a beat. insane about it v excited to read the graphic novel (im aware it’s different)

#nimona #nimona movie #nimona spoilers #jas jabbers

[maxbegone]

seven sentence sunday but once again, who's actually counting?

gonna be honest with y'all, i still have no idea what this fic really is, but i'm having a good time writing it!

“Where’s…Big Bend National Park?” Henry asks out of nowhere.

It’s enough for Alex to pull his attention from the stars. “Um, like six hours west of here. I didn’t even know you knew what that was. Why?”

Henry shrugs. “Sheer curiosity.”

“It’s never just curiosity with you. There’s usually some meaning behind it.” Alex sits up. “What’s important about Big Bend?”

“A lot of westerns were filmed there,” he tells him.

“Oh yeah? I never knew that.”

But then it takes less than a second for it to hit him: the tight-lipped smile, the soft hum of a short laugh, the way Henry angles his head briefly before looking down at his lap, fingers drumming against the neck of the wine bottle.

“Your dad filmed something there.”

“One of his first big roles,” Henry begins, “a few years before he and my mum met and he had his Bond run. It’s less famous than them, obviously, but I’d argue it was just as good.”

“What’s it called?”

“All For the Autumn Son.”

“I’ve never seen it,” Alex tells him softly. “What’s it about?”

“Oh, the usual; outlaws and bandits, heists, a corrupt and cornered sheriff. He makes a deal with a group to free their bookkeeper from prison, only to be killed before they overrun the town and take it hostage. Then this lone wolf type comes into play and drums up a plan to save everyone, there’s romance and a routine ride into the sunset.” 

“Who did your dad play?”

“The hero.” At this, Henry smiles, chin titled up toward the sky. He looks so proud, and Alex has never been as sad as he is at this moment that he was never able to meet Arthur Fox. “It really is cheesy and Dad’s accent is…something else.” Henry laughs, and it’s a little more genuine this time. “I mean, it works, but it’s odd to hear when I’m so used to his voice, you know? But for all it’s worth, it’s brilliant.”

“Is it your favorite?”

Henry pauses for a moment. “Yeah.” Another pause. “It’s weird that any time I want to see or hear my father, all I have to do is turn on the telly. Literally the whole world knows him as this action hero, but he was so much more than that. They know one side of him — the actor side — and this might be hard to understand, but everyone gets to see him and there’s no sanctity in it.” Henry glances over at Alex, and even in the dim orange light of the fire, he can make out the emotion in his eyes. “He was world-renowned, beloved, it’s not like he was some random man from Cardiff. Everyone knew him, but not everyone knew him. They can miss him, but not like all of us do. He was our dad, and yet sometimes it feels like he doesn’t belong to us. Which is a whole convoluted thing with how my entire life has been; it belongs to the Crown, it belongs to England.”

It’s then that Henry releases a hefty breath and lowers himself down onto the grass, he and Alex swapping positions. Alex just watches.

“Maybe that’s why I love his lesser-known movies more, because less people have seen them, even if it’s only by a marginal amount. It makes it feel…more, I don’t know, personal.”

Henry’s right, Alex never is going to understand it. He’s lucky enough not to know what it’s like to lose a parent that young. And the thing is, until Henry, Alex never even thought to consider himself lucky about it. But there’s a whole other level of appreciation he has now, one he hopes he never neglects.

“Maybe I drank too much today,” Henry says mildly, sitting up again and shaking the bottle. There’s a little under a quarter of the wine left. “Getting all emotional.”

“No.” Alex scoots in closer, rubbing circles on his back. He’s warm through his shirt. “No, baby. It’s okay. Don’t minimize it.”

He watches as Henry goes to say something, but closes his mouth. “I—thank you, Alex.”

“What for?”

“Always listening.”

Alex could melt. “It’s the easiest thing in the world.”

i have no idea who to tag y'all, so feel free to share if you can!

#rwrb #rwrb fic #firstprince #firstprince fic #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #seven sentence sunday #my fic

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Don't you think there's better ways of showing support for Palestinians/Israeli Christians than by perpetuating the "Jesus was Palestinian" myth that people constantly try and use to deny Jewish indigeneity. Allegory or not, it's not a great look for someone who purports to be against that kind of erasure and supercessionism. Also, having 1 line about how his death was the Empire's fault so don't blame the Jews is meaningless when in this allegory, the Empire (Israeli government) *is* Jewish

(anyone curious about what anon's referring to, I believe it's my poem here)

Hey there anon, thank you for your feedback. In this situation where various marginalized peoples are being pitted against each other (and/or conflated with political groups), I've been struggling to make sure my words don't add to the misinformation and harm. So whenever someone takes the time to remind me of that danger, I'll take the time to re-examine my words — even if I end up standing by them, as I mostly do in this case.

I can't promise to say and do all the perfect things, because there isn't time to waste getting my words just right before saying something — people are dying right now (and yes, anon, that includes those Israelis who are still hostages of Hamas, who are also endangered by Israel's continued attacks.)

I have been spending much of my free time these past few months learning more about Israel and Palestine, and I still don't feel I'm even close to knowing enough! But I've listened to those who are actually in the midst of the violence who say that all of us across the world must join their cry now, not letting our ignorance be an excuse. That means there have been a few things I've said that I then had to re-consider after learning more.

...

Just a few days ago, I was actually trying to look into the origins of the statement that "Jesus was a Palestinian Jew." (Btw if anyone knows the origins of this statement, please hit me up!)

Arguments against it note that the term "Palestinian" didn't exist in Jesus' day. Looking into the accuracy of that statement is still on my to-do list; I did skim over this article calling it a myth but yeah, still digging. Regardless, sure, I don't think Jesus called himself a Palestinian in his lifetime.

That doesn't necessarily mean that the statement is useless, however. I do very much believe that if Jesus were born today, in the same place, he'd be born to a Jewish Palestinian family, not an Israeli one.

That does not erase his Jewishness; it confirms God's "preferential option for the poor," God's choice to side with and become one with the most oppressed and discarded. It also does not assert that Jewish persons don't "belong" in the region — only that the modern nation/colony Israel isn't necessary for them to live and thrive there.

All that said, if anyone has more info on the statement that "Jesus was a Palestinian" — its origins, how it's been used over the years — I would absolutely like to examine it further. For now, I stand by the phrase, with an openness to re-considering that with further education.

...

I feel more confident in talking about Empire — how I used it in my poem, versus how you've interpreted it. I'm genuinely grateful to you for bringing your reading of it to my attention, because it's shown me that my words weren't clear enough there!

In these verses from my poem:

"...And now, as then, some may blame Jesus’s death on his own Jewish people — but resist this lie! Now as then the crime is Empire’s and those of us who would cast stones should ponder first what our nations gain from genocide. ..."

You interpret Empire as being Israel.

My intention was that Empire with a capital E is a much larger network of all imperial forces on earth. Israel is entangled in that, and directly backed and funded by those forces. My own country, the United States, is one of the nations at the helm of Empire.

So when I talk of Empire being to blame, I'm not saying just Israel — honestly, I'm personally more concerned with the US's complicity, because I feel as a US citizen I can help demand they stop.

So I'm going to rework that bit to better express what I mean by Empire, so it doesn't sound like I'm focusing only on Israel. Empire is so much bigger than any one state, colony, or government.

...

Okay, I'm out of steam. I'm going to link a few pieces that have been helping me frame all that's going on right now to resist pitting marginalized groups against each other:

This art piece naming "contradicting truths"

This article by Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg also naming seemingly contradictory truths

Since I didn't really get deep into this part of your ask, I also appreciate this article discussing the question of indigeneity. It discards the "need" to figure out "who was there first" in favor of exploring intersecting histories.

Oh also, because you claim that the Israeli government "is Jewish," I think discussions on how Israel isn't actually a safe haven for all Jews, only those that fit into their goals, are vital.

#chatting tag #idk how to word this but. like. #what's happening right now is both NOT complex: we MUST side with Palestine. #and also very very complex with a need for nuance and context. #both and not either or #does that make sense?....

[sabakos]

If someone tells you that a group you're a member of is a cult, and your first instinct is to defend the organization, it's probably a cult. But if this is a valid description of you, you're probably just going to leave a nasty anonymous message in my inbox instead, while inventing numerous justifications for whoever will listen about why said characterization can't possibly be true. This is because you have the group equivalent of a personality disorder - you've already been indoctrinated by the cult to the point where the whole rest of the world could disagree and it would just be further proof that they were wrong.

And yes, the people who get really defensive of online trans communities when anyone refers to them as "culty" also do not have a healthy relationship with the communities that they're a part of. Yes, if you're a member of any marginalized group, you are far more vulnerable to high control groups and abusive relationships, because your desperate need for belonging is exactly what they're taking advantage of. This sucks, but it doesn't mean that those high control groups suddenly aren't harmful! The existence of transphobia does not mean that other trans people will not take advantage of you, the existence of transphobia means it's easier for trans people who want to take advantage of you to leverage your common shared identity with them. You should be wary of anyone who wants to isolate you among only other people who are oppressed in the same way you are, regardless of whether or not it's technically a "cult" the potential for abuse is too high, this ought to set off alarm bells.

#tw robot cult

[peachypizzicato]

The Five Of Cups: An Open Letter to Dorian

Hey everyone! Welcome back to my soapbox (or, if you see this and by some divine happenstance don’t know me: Hi! I’m Felix! Or Anemone. I go by many names.)

As you can tell by my Big Boy Letters, I’m comin’ to talk about kind of a serious subject. At least, it’s serious to me anyway. I wanted to talk a bit about the game The Arcana. You know the one. The definitely not at all divisive one. That Arcana. (/s)

(Warning: I will be touching on depictions of racism, misogyny, anti indigenity, antisemitism, and just general mistreatment of marginalized people!)

TLDR; The Arcana is full of harmful portrayals of marginalized people and the fandom at large ignores it at best and encourages it at worst. The best thing we as the community can do is make it abundantly clear to the company that this is not okay and should not continue.

To be completely upfront here, I’m not going to be going in-depth on every single problem with the devs or the distributors or anything. We’re all busy people and there’s not nearly enough time in the day. But what I am going to do is touch on a few things I’ve witnessed firsthand that I think are worth sharing with the wider community.

One of the behaviors I’ve noticed most often is what I can only think to call… Strange treatment of the love interests. Not by everyone, mind you, but on a startlingly normal basis. Now, what do I mean by “strange”? Well, it really depends on the character honestly.

With Asra, much of the portrayals feel significantly more sexualized than that of their peers. Drawn and portrayed as if their body exists to be ogled by someone else rather than lived in by themself, y’know what I mean? That, combined with blatant orientalist imagery baked into much of their designs, makes for a feeling of feast or famine when seeking out content. And this isn’t even to comment on the intense focus on them as defined by their relationships to others– namely Julian– and all of the mischaracterization that comes with that.

It’s not much different in regard to Nadia, if you can believe it. The image of “step-on-me-queen dominatrix” cultivated by the original writers persists in the community, with overwhelming focus put on her body and her sexuality over anything else. Anyone who’s known me since I discovered the game knows I actually really liked her at first, but it’s hard to have a genuine attachment to a character who seldom even gets to have a personality outside of basic traits and Having Tits.

Julian is, admittedly, a difficult one. I am not jewish myself, but I’ve heard testimony from jewish fans that his portrayal is less than ideal (to put it lightly). At the very base, his design itself is riddled with common antisemitic imagery and was based primarily on a real brown-skinned jewish man whose melanated skin they excluded, surely coincidentally (/s). but it goes even further than that (depicting a jewish man as a bloodsucking vampire, anyone?). I don’t claim to speak for any groups I do not belong to, but with the knowledge I do have it simply makes things uncomfortable to witness.

Muriel. Oh, Muriel. Again, if you’ve known me for any significant amount of time, you probably knew I was dreading this. But as much as I’d like to think nothing could ever be wrong when he’s around, there are definitely problems. Now, I could go into all the issues with the way the writers concocted his route, his story, his character as a whole (brown man with a ~foreign~ type of magic lives in solitude in the woods and is “in tune with nature” to the point of communication, very original /s), what I really want to touch on here is how this informed the way the community treats him. Listen, I’m not gonna sugarcoat this, a lot of Muriel fans are not subtle about their (most often white, but not always) savior complexes. More times than I care to remember I’ve seen him babied, treated like he’s incompetent, made at best into an animal to be tamed and at worst into an uncontrollable monster. I’ve seen pieces of fanfiction call him, a very blatantly indigenous-coded character, a real actual slur. Not to mention how watering down the trauma he faced has become something of commonplace. And this isn’t even an exhaustive list of ways he’s mistreated! For as much as it makes me angry, it’s also extremely saddening. The devs and writers made one of their most genuine kindhearted characters into a metaphorical punching bag, and the community has only continued swinging for years afterward.

But, I think I’ve made my point. Moving on.

Portia is a combination of problems I’ve already touched on. Conveniently, all of the stereotypical traits that Julian inherited happened to skip right over his little sister. What didn’t skip over, however, was the gene of being shamelessly and gratuitously oversexualizing of her. Take a look at any of her CGs; most if not all of them are centered on her chest or otherwise use color and design to draw the eye there. Every one of her sprite outfits are low cut to show varying levels of cleavage. And the few vocal fans she does have only serve to perpetuate this over and over again. To be completely clear, there’s nothing wrong with characters who embrace their sexuality. That goes without saying. However, for being the one “plus-size” love interest– which really in this case only means short and curvy– the emphasis on her body over anything else about her is startling and sad.

Finally, we find Lucio. Our one ethnically white male love interest. You may be wondering how a character like that could possibly receive “strange treatment”. Or maybe you’re not. I will elaborate anyway. The biggest problem with Lucio, with the fans and absolutely with the teams behind the game, is and has been for the longest time the complete and utter lack of awareness of his role in the world and the consistent retroactive rewriting of his character. What I mean by that is this: Lucio, originally and in every route but his own, is blatantly written to be an unforgivably cruel and immoral man. He seeks the best treatment he can get while cityfolk all but die in his streets, he takes advantage of the kindness and generosity of others and punishes their trust. There are many assumptions that can be made but we are shown explicitly that he can know Asra, a child (as an adult himself), and make sexual advances on them in adulthood with absolutely no guilt. He blackmailed Muriel into being and staying his slave and in turn forced him to perform brutal public massacres for an indeterminate amount of time: all we know is that it was long enough for a colloquial name to become well known and for his appearance to grow unkempt and haggard. All this plus more things that I don’t even have the time to list. And yet, he is arguably one of the most popular characters. Take two steps into the fandom at large and you’ll see countless postings about how his childhood was so tragic and how he’s so very sorry, he’s just a little oopsie whoopsie uwu soft boy! The few times I personally have seen his horrible actions even addressed by his fans was to underplay them, to insinuate that he has it worse than anyone he hurt. In spite of, or maybe even because of his extensive list of broadly observable crimes, he thrives in the community. The people love him. I don’t think I really have to explain why this in particular is so extremely chilling to me.

So, with all of these things laid out… What now? We’ve acknowledged the problems, there’s pages upon pages of other posts outlining ones I didn’t even cover here, so now what do we do? What’s the solution?

The answer to this isn’t quite cut and dry. There’s no simple solution to murky waters that run as deep as these do. But, for what it’s worth, I have a few suggestions I’d like to propose.

First off, I understand that all of the routes are finished. They had all completed well before the Dorian acquisition, I’m fully aware of that fact. However, in regard to said acquisition, I feel as though Dorian dropped the ball when transferring the property to their own app (and I’m not even talking about the writing of the tales, which is its own can of worms). Rather than simply copy-pasting the routes from the existing app, things could’ve been redone, remade better. Problems could have been solved now that the game had gained new life. This was much of the inspiration behind my own reworking of the concept, to address the problems and fix them. I don’t even believe that it’s too late for them yet; routes have only just begun being uploaded to the Dorian app, in theory there’s still room to reconsider things.

But that’s the problem. I don’t believe that the crew behind Dorian really cares. I don’t believe the original development team or Nix Hydra crew really cared. If the people involved really cared about these problems, there was ample time within the last nearly five years to fix things. They did nothing. They continue to do nothing. People like me shout endlessly into the void, hoping someone will hear and actually listen to the issues happening within their game. But they don’t care. They continue to make money, they continue to draw in players, why should they? If racism and misogyny and every other form of bigotry under the sun doesn’t hurt their bottom line, why change anything? Why care, why change if the community at large not only ignores it but actively encourages and supports it? Why listen to criticism if you can just block it and soak up praise from your unconditional fans? Why?

As I said, I don’t have a simple solution for any of this. But I’ve made personal choices in my own life to give less of my time and money to the company. If I want merchandise, I seek out independent artists. If I want to see or read something again, I can find screencaps. As much as I miss certain things, I don’t play the game anymore. I can’t help being attached to characters who have been important to me for as long as I’ve known them, but what I can do is make purposeful choices in response to the affection I feel. Maybe my singular actions won’t mean anything to them, but specifically and purposefully refusing to support the profits of a fundamentally flawed game that doesn’t even have the self awareness to be ashamed of itself means everything to me.

Thanks for listening. I hope anyone who happened to make it to this point can take something good from my impassioned ramblings.

#kinda ship related #hey thanks for reading if you happened to get to the end of this thing! #don’t blame you if you didn’t though lmao this shit LONG #i just have a lot of feelings and wanted to get them out #plus i saw some posts talking about putting messages out there that should get to the higher ups #and well. y’know. a peach can dream #if i got anything wrong in here PLEASE let me know im happy to be educated more #i just want as many people as possible to know about this kind of stuff #the arcana #the arcana game #asra alnazar #asra the arcana #nadia satrinava #nadia the arcana #julian devorak #julian the arcana #muriel of the kokhuri #muriel the arcana #portia devorak #portia the arcana #lucio morgasson #lucio the arcana #peachyrambles

[magioffire]

cant believe we are still having debates about whether or not nonbinary people are trans and if we belong in the trans community at all....

listen guys im gonna make this REAL simple

transgender = when you do not identify as the gender you were assigned at birth cisgender = when you do identify as the gender you were assigned at birth

as far as i know, people generally are not assigned ‘nonbinary’ or ‘genderfluid’ or ‘agender’ or literally anything besides ‘male’ or ‘female’ at birth.  therefore all nonbinary identities are by default under the trans umbrella

people need to stop  mudding the waters, gatekeepng shit, and complicating stuff that doesnt need to be complicated it by creating all this discourse. pls stop complicating the definitions of transgender and nonbinary by claiming suddenly its *only* binary and/or full transitioning trans people who are the *real* trans people, and everyone else is a poser whom is....trying to get popular and positve attention by....identifying as one of the most misunderstood, marginalized, targeted minority group in the world??? yeah im sure everyone would just love to jump on the trans band wagon for funsies and shits and giggles in a world where people want to fucking KILL US.

 not only have concepts of androgyny and gender-noncomformity been around since humans had gender roles to subvert, but modern terms for nonbinary identities (lke genderqueer and genderfluid) are also a lot older than the 2010s. we’ve been here with the lgbt community since the beginning. we aint new. its like asking “do the people with gender fuckery belong in the gender fuckery club????” (spoiler, they do)

remember kids: throwing some of the most vulnerable, mischaracterized, least accepted members of your already marginalized community under the bus may get you brownie points in the short term with the party of leopards eating bad!!! evi!!! groomer!! trans people’ s faces, but once all the so called ‘degenerate’ trans people, gender-nonconforming cis people, and questioning people either have their faces eaten off or have to go so far back the closet just to avoid getting their faces eaten off, the party of leopards eating (actually every single) trans people’s faces will turn and eat your face too.

#tired of all the infighting and splittng hairs on people's identities #and people acting like they are some kind of authority on another person's subjective experience esp something as subjective as gender lolol #like who cares #really how miserable do you have to be to sit there and gatekeep how other people live their lives like omfg #also when a trans person completes their transition they dont just stop being trans #so stop acting like that is the ONE defining trait a trans person can have #and stop making up stupid ass insults for people who dont want to ruthlessly bully any trans person who doesnt fit into a box #stop fucking calling us stupid shit like 'tucute' and 'transtrenders' and 'theyfabs' and just say what you really fucking mean: #which we all know is 'f*ggot #'tranny' #'degenerate' #'sexual deviant' #'p*dophile' #like stop pussy footing around and pretending like you aint doing the far right's dirty work #and OWN YOUR DAMN BIGOTRY AND INTERNALIZED TRANSPHOBIA :) #tired of terfs and exclusionists doing the far right's dirty work of driving a wedge in the lgbt community and ruthlessly bullying #other trans people and any teenager who DARES to question their gender for a goddamn second #and then they have the gall to call themselves feminists or fighting for trans acceptance #or that they just are ~worried~ about the children or they are just ~concerned~ about detransitioners #ugh gag me with a spoon 97.5 percent of transgender teens who identified as trans 10 years ago stll identify as trans today #but shhh dont talk about that #cuz that destroys the narrative of: #'those evil groomer tr*nnies are brainwashng our poor little girls into hating womanhood and becoming evil stinky sex fiend men!' #or 'those evil p*do trans women are going through years and years of transition so they can corner ME SPECICICALLY in the women's bathroom. #'and as a white cis transphobic woman i am always the victim' (cuz lets be real its often those waspy types) #like transphobes get over yourselves #particularly if youre a transphobic trans person #sadly they exist :\ #so much self hatred being projected onto innocent people #cuz its somehow impossible to understand everyone has their own experiences that dont require YOUR validation to make them legit

[multiplicity-positivity]

Any advice for a past anti-endo becoming pro-endo? I find myself slowly drifting away from friends who consider themselves anti-endo and I wonder if maybe I'm doing something wrong. I understand endos aren't perfect but they aren't as bad as people make them out to be. Sorry if this is too discoursey for this blog, feel free to ignore if it is!

hey - we don’t mind answering this, but we’ll do so under a cut to spare our followers from the syscourse. followers, if syscourse upsets you, please scroll on without clicking to keep reading.

so first of all, that’s great that you’re having a more open mind about plurality and endogenic systems! accepting and embracing different forms of plurality can help bring us closer together as a community :)

we’re sorry it’s been causing you to drift away from your friends as a result… syscourse is a complicated and nuanced topic, and it’s hard to find anyone who will agree with your syscourse beliefs 100%. we know pro endos who still maintain friendships with anti endos, and we do believe it’s possible to maintain positive relationships with those who disagree with you without wavering in your beliefs.

i suppose some general advice we’d like to give for a previous anti endo who’s changing their ways is:

1) trust yourself for validation, not other pro endos.

if you are open and accepting of other kinds of systems, that is excellent, and you are doing the right thing. many in the pro endo community may struggle to accept folks who have changed their ways. there’s lots of “once an anti, always an anti”, “syscourse unaligned/neutral just means anti”, and “anti endos are a hate group” sentiments online. and those who genuinely have these beliefs likely won’t trust or show kindness to those who have been anti endos in the past. so don’t be too discouraged and please don’t go back to being anti endo if you’re not accepted in the community by other pro endos. we ourself have been shunned by much of the pro endo community for being “syscourse unaligned,” so we know personally how that goes. but that hasn’t stopped us from listening to and supporting endogenic systems to the best of our ability.

2) stay out of syscourse, at least for a while

syscourse is dangerous. discussions (on the rare occasions there is one) are often emotionally charged and can get very heated very quickly. so many individuals on all sides of syscourse truly believe that their opinions are the only right ones, and everyone else needs to change or leave the system community. so if you’re learning more about endogenic systems and trying to be a pro endo, it may be wise to just stay out of syscourse and support nontraumagenic systems from the sidelines. one way you can do this is by…

3) following common pro endo tags

“#pluralgang” in general is pretty accepting of all systems. there’s also “#endo safe,” “#endo friendly,” “#endogenic,” “#pro endo,” “#nontraumagenic,” and “#nontraumagenic safe.” you will see the occasional cross post which doesn’t belong, but for the most part, these tags are by endo systems and supporters, for endo systems and their supporters. following these tags can help you feel less isolated from the community!

4) know when to set boundaries and draw the line

it’s well known that the pro endo community (and the plural community in general, honestly) has issues with racism, particularly concerning “tulpamancy” language, which has been condemned by many buddhist systems of color. it is possible to be pro endo without condoning the racism that exists within the community! please make an effort to listen to, center, and uplift plural voices of color in your discussion spaces. it’s possible to believe in tulpamancy and be pro tulpa systems while not standing for their choice of language use. please don’t be accepting of all practices and terminology at face value; when you hear marginalized groups voicing their concerns, listen to them and take them seriously. there are plenty of other terms to describe these systems you can use besides “tulpa” - our system uses paro/paromancy/paromancer, which is not a term bastardized from vajrayana buddhism and tibetan culture.

5) think critically about what you see online

as with any community, there can be bad actors, and there can be ableism. please put your thinking cap on when reading others’ posts, especially posts made by endogenic systems that discuss did/osdd and other dissociative disorders. learn how to spot misinformation and disinformation. try to understand when posts are slightly misguided, and when they may have ulterior motives to cause harm to traumagenic systems. there are accounts out there run by people who will make bigoted, hurtful, and untrue statements regularly, but since they do this eloquently and with a cheery attitude, they often go unchecked. make sure you’re being careful when engaging with the pro endo community, to try and avoid interacting with those whose intentions are to harm disabled systems.

6) try not to waver in your beliefs

if you end up having conversations about syscourse with your anti endo friends, you may find that they spend time trying to steer you back to disliking or disbelieving endo systems. having a few talking points to help you stand your ground could be really useful. some of our go-to statements are:

- other people know themselves and their experiences more than i ever will.

- just because someone’s personal or spiritual beliefs are not provable by science doesn’t mean that they deserve to be disrespected.

- policing other people’s identities and lived experiences is never a good look.

- for the most part, endogenic systems do not claim to have dissociative disorders and do not take up resources allocated for traumagenic systems, contrary to popular belief.

hopefully these things can help keep you on track. you’re not doing anything wrong by coming to a better understanding of plurality and choosing to listen to and respect nontraumagenic systems. remember we’re not the end-all-be-all to syscourse and the pro endo community! we’re just one system who’s been around the block sharing our ideas.

we seriously hope that soon you can find community with likeminded people. thank you for making a genuine attempt to learn more - we see you and appreciate your efforts in trying to change for the better!

🐢 kip and 💫 parker

#syscourse #pro endo #anti endo

[mistiell]

WHIPLASH | Chapter 1

Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader

Summary: A season 4 fix-it fic with an ‘x reader’ insert because it destroyed me and I still need comfort months later.

A/N: Here it is! I figured if I’m gonna post it on Wattpad, I might as well take a little extra time to post each chapter over here, too. Who knows, maybe Ao3 is next lmao

Update Dec 2023: Hi there, I forgot to update this. I’m afraid I won’t be continuing this series and figured I should let y’all know.

Chapter Warnings: Strong language

Word count: 2.4k words

One/Two (coming soon)

__________________________________________

You sit in your seat, knee bouncing up and down quickly in a feeble attempt to release some pent up energy. Your teacher drones on and on about a topic you quite frankly don't care enough about to pay any attention to. Instead, your focus is on your notes, or what little you have of them, anyway. You stopped writing nearly twenty minutes ago, opting instead to scribble little stars and hearts in the margins of your notebook. You've never been one to enjoy math. You understood it to a relatively impressive degree according to your peers, but you failed to see the intrigue that few people had it in it. English and Art are more your speed, mostly because you love to create.

You sigh and look up towards the window for what you think has to be the fiftieth time in the passed half an hour, displeased but not surprised to find that the parking lot is the same as it was the last time you checked. God, this day could not move any slower if it tried.

As if on cue, the shrill sound of the bell makes you jump and breathe a sigh of relief, quickly collecting your things and getting the hell out of that godforsaken classroom. You're met with the regular cacophony of noise as you weave through the sea of bodies towards the cafeteria. You have to dodge a few people as they nearly walk straight into you, seemingly none the wiser to your presence despite the fact that they came within centimetres of you. You try to get to your locker to drop off a few textbooks but find that your neighbours are currently looking through theirs. Coming to the conclusion that the space between them isn't wide enough to reach yours, you stand behind them and shift your weight between your feet awkwardly. As confident as you may seem to others, you really couldn't feel further from it sometimes.

There's a word for how you're feeling right now. A feeling of being out of place, a persistent voice in the back of your head that tells you that you're not supposed to be here. That you should just leave before people start getting annoyed with you for standing still in the hallway.

Monachopsis

That's the word. Fitting, you think, as one of the people blocking your path finally departs and allows you to open your own locker. You make quick work of stuffing a couple textbooks inside and grabbing a small paper bag before continuing on your way. 

When you finally reach your destination, your gaze automatically slides to your regular table and the feeling begins to dissipate.  The Hellfire club, lead by your childhood best friend and town pariah, Eddie "The Freak" Munson, has become your tight knit group of friends. You find that with them, you feel like you belong, even despite not knowing all that much about D&D.

"Look who it is," The metal head smiles as you take your place between him and Garreth, "What took you so long?"

"Had to drop some stuff off, sorry." He nods and hums in acknowledgement as you reach across the table to steal a couple of Jeff's M&M's, drawing a comically high pitched whine of protest from the victim of your heinous crime. You pull out your lunch bag while Eddie flips through a magazine you're not familiar with.

"Guys, listen to this," Eddie scoffs, clearing his throat to proceed with what you can only assume is about to be a dramatic monologue, "Dungeons and dragons."

Yup, there it is.

You snort at the deep, theatrical voice he's taken on and Gareth elbows you in the side, earning himself a hushed but curt, "Watch it, asshole."

"At first regarded as a harmless game of make believe, now has both parents and psychologists concerned. Studies have linked violent behaviour to the game, saying it promotes satanic worship, ritual sacrifice, sodomy, suicide, and even," He slams the magazine down on the table, a wild glint in his eye, "Murder!"

You all laugh at the absurdity of the article when out of the corner of your eye, you spot the two freshman Eddie had welcomed into the group standing just a few feet away, looking like they're about to piss their pants. You shoot them a look of confusion but they keep their eyes on the floor as they scurry over to sit adjacent to you.

"Society has to blame something. We're an easy target." Jeff adds and Eddie nods his head in agreement.

"Exactly. We're the freaks because we like to play a fantasy game. But," You jump in your seat when Eddie slams a hand down on the table before climbing on top of it, "As long as you're in to band, or science, or partiieess."

You chuckle at the nasally tone he says it in, watching him walk to the end of the table and cup his hands to his mouth, "Or a game where you toss BALLS INTO LAUNDRY BASKETS!"

Jason Carver stands up from his table to yell at your eccentric friend from across the room, "You want something, freak?"

Eddie's response is to stick his tongue out and put his fingers up against the side of his head like devil horns, clearly pissing the jock off but not enough for the situation to escalate further. Eddie smirks at him as he huffs and sits back down to talk heatedly amongst his friends before turning around to walk back down the table, "It's forced conforming."

"That's what's," He hops down to the floor and yells in the direction of a teacher, scaring the shit out of her, "KILLING THE KIDS!"

Everyone at the table laughs as he steps back and gestures for two cheerleaders to walk passed him before taking his seat, "That's the real monster."

There's a short moment of silence before Dustin hesitantly breaks it, "So, uh, speaking of monsters. Um, Lucas has to do his, uh... balls-in-laundry-baskets game. So," The poor boy looks like he's about to be eaten alive as he titters out his next sentence, "He's not gonna be able to make it to hellfire tonight."

You chance a glance at Eddie to find he has a very unimpressed look on his face as he munches on a single bag of walnuts. You slide him your yogurt and a spoon while Dustin continues talking, nodding when Eddie throws a quick, "Thanks," your way.

"And I know there's no way we can beat your sadistic campaign without him. So, me and Mike. We were talking, shooting the shit, and we were thinking that we... m-maybe we might..."

"Postpone?" Mike finishes, sending the table into an uproar of protests.

“Postone?!”

“Over my dead body!”

"I worked for weeks re-painting your figures!" You exclaim alongside everyone else before Eddie cuts you all off.

"Shut up!" You share a disgruntled look with Garreth before turning your attention back to the dungeon master, "You saying Sinclair's been taken in by the dark side?"

“Uhh, something like that?”

"Something like that?" He echoes, tossing a nut at the boys and earning a high pitched, "Jesus Christ," from Dustin, "And rather than find a sub for him, you want... you want to postpone, the cult of Vecna?"

"I- I don't want to postpone it, we don't want to postpone it," Eddie pushes away from the table with a screech from his chair and stands up, "It's just that, you know, most of the subs will be at the championship game."

He whips back around to face the boys and you swear you see them flinch, "Oh, it's the championship game?"

“Yeah?”

"Can I level with you? Jeff graduates this year. Garreth's got, what, a year and a half?" He walks behind you and you crane your neck to watch him as he goes, "Me? I am army crawling my way towards a 'D' in Miss O'Donnel's. If I don't blow her final, I'm gonna walk that stage next month, I'm gonna look principal Higgins dead in the eye. I'm gonna flip him the bird," He raises his middle finger as he slowly turns around to the rest of you, "I'm gonna snatch that diploma and I'm gonna run like hell outta here!”

You chuckle at his little jog as Gareth speaks up, "Didn't you say that last year?"

Now it's your turn to elbow him in the side.

"Yeah, Yeah, and I was full of shit!" He exclaims, jogging back down to your table, slowly turning to survey the cafeteria, "This year's different. This year is my year. I can feel it."

He turns around and grins at you, "'86, baby."

It makes you happy knowing he's so optimistic about graduating this year. You can't count the amount of times you've had to reassure him that he isn't stupid over the years.

"Y'know what that means?" he settles his gaze on the freshman once more, coming around to squat between them and place each hand on one of their shoulders, "It means that you boys are the future of hellfire. I knew it the moment I saw you. You were sat at that table right over there looking like two little lost sheep. You were wearing a Weird Al T-shirt, which I thought was brave."

Dustin replies with a tense, “Thank you.”

"And you," He turns to Mike, "You were wearing whatever shit your mommy bought you from the goddamn Gap!"

You snort along with your friends at his comment, remembering exactly what outfit he was talking about. Suddenly, he's pulling them up by the backs of their shirts like you would a puppy by the scruff of it's neck, "We showed you that school didn't have to be the worst years of your lives, right?"

He gets two soft, “No”’s in response.

"Well, I'm here to tell you, that there are other lost little sheepies out there who need help. Who need you, and all you guys gotta do is get your Bo Peeps on and go find one." And with that, he shoves them forward to start their quest.

He rounds the table to plop back down in his seat and you give his shoulder a half hearted shove, "You didn't have to scare them so bad. Poor little shits looked like they were about to piss themselves."

"Not scaring. Motivating, princess." He smirks at the way you frown at the nickname.

"Watch yourself, Munson." You say as you roll your eyes and feign indifference. In reality, your heart flutters and your cheeks flush at the nickname, but you pray he doesn't notice.

"You coming to Hellfire tonight?" He asks, peeling the top off the yogurt you'd given him and taking a spoonful.

"I don't know, I don't wanna intrude-." He scoffs at you as if you'd just said something absolutely ludicrous.

"Y/n, you're a member. You can't intrude on a club meeting if you're apart of the club."

"Yeah, but I don't even play."

"Sure, but you help me write the campaigns, paint our figures, make us dice-."

"Okay, I'll come!" You laugh and he grins at you, "Speaking of dice, I actually have something for you guys."

They all lean in to get a better look at what you're doing as you rummage through your backpack for that paper bag you grabbed earlier. When you find what you're looking for, you sit back up and reach inside to remove a black box in the shape of a coffin. They all watch you curiously as you hand it to Eddie, "I know I gave you a set last month but since this is the end of your campaign, I wanted to make something special."

"That's very sweet of you, princess, but you really didn't have-," When he opens to the lid, his eyes blow wide and his lips part in what you hope is awe. The set of dice inside are made of a combination of black and red resin, the numbers painted in a shiny silver. On the inside of the lid, the name of their band, Corroded Coffin, is painted in the exact font they had chosen for the posters they had hung up around town.

"You made this?" He asks, looking at you like you'd just handed him the Mona Lisa. Gareth and Jeff are now urging him to show them, and when he turns it around to show them they look just as shocked as he is.

“Are you serious?”

“Those are fuckin’ metal!”

"Thanks." You giggle bashfully, cheeks and ears heating at the onslaught of praise.

"How long did it take you to make these?" Eddie asks, brushing his fingertips over the dice.

"Not too long. Two weeks max." You reply nonchalantly, popping an M&M into your mouth as he looks back up at you.

He really isn't sure what to say. You've made dice for them several times before but this feels different somehow. Normally, your dice were pretty generic. Either solid colours or a marbled mix of different ones. Never had you ever put this much time and effort into a set, especially with the damn near exact copy of their band name that you had hand painted on the lid. Part of him doesn't even want to use them in fear of damaging them.

"Thank you. Really, this is just... holy shit." He chuckles, shutting the lid and slipping them into his bag.

"'Course. I had to do something to mark the big finale." You smile, resting your chin on your palm before jerking your nose towards his backpack, "You better use them tonight."

He places one hand on his chest dramatically and takes yours in his other, "You have my word, fair maiden."

"Good." You laugh as the bell rings to mark the end of lunch. He pulls his hand from yours to pack up his things as you and the others follow suit. You stand and sling your backpack over your shoulder, "I'll see you guys after school."

“Yeah.”

“See ya.”

You turn and begin walking towards the doors before spinning on your heels to face Eddie again, continuing to walk backwards, "If you lose those, I'll kick your ass!"

“Ooh, is that a promise?”

“Suck my dick, Jackass!” You laugh.

“Don’t tempt me, L/n!” He hollers back.

You flip him the bird and he gives it right back, his smile damn near blinding you before you finally make it to the doors and slip back into the crowded hall to make your way to class.

#eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson st4 #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson stranger things #eddie st4 #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfiction #stranger things x y/n #stranger things x you #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things 4 #stranger things x reader #stranger things

[luridce]

my dummy headcanons for the yee yee ass haircut man, that I want to get off my chest:

✩ his real name is Ido - created this from his hero name pronunciation "Nīdorusutā".

✩ before joining and getting kicked out of the Blizzard Group, and becoming a professional hero on his own, he definitely was involved in some gang (the delinquent vibes?). Inevitably did a 180 and became a hero... because our man is good deep down inside🖤

✩ maybe worked in security? or like a chauffeur for a gang boss at some point? Anyways, any job he did was cut short because of "disciplinary issues" a.k.a. him not being able to take orders and listen to his superiors if he thinks it's not the right thing.

✩ chews bubblegum when he feels like smoking (wants to quit smoking). Get's lowkey annoyed when working with other heroes who smoke right in front of him (lmao Zombieman pls it's not healthy for you, sweetheart!).

✩ kept the suit he got from the Blizzard Group. Had to return it after being kicked out, but didn't because he's a little shit lol.

✩ wears safety pins as earrings to show solidarity with those who are marginalized, believes in "all lives are equally valuable". So I think most of his attitude/arguments with others stem from seeing people treated badly (e.g. probably wasn't a fan of newbie-crushing that the Blizzard Group did).

✩ thinks he's a smartass, but probably barely finished school lol. Maybe has street smarts? A little bit of physics knowledge, because he has to estimate the trajectory of his mace?

✩ idk but I think he has like... a million tattoos under that suit. Overall, he's very into the punk look, looking alternative and having a "no rules" style. Wears a lot of dark clothing, ripped clothing, boots, maybe has a few t-shirts in 'weirder' colors (e.g. hot pink? lol). Likes studded and spiked jewelry, has a few killer leather jackets. But only wears everything casually, tones it down for hero work.

✩ I think that his good guy side stems from either: 1) growing up on the streets and witnessing poor, weaker people being treated badly (maybe similar mindset to Garou, reacting to the injustice of the world, but choosing to be better); 2) not growing up on the streets, having a good support system and family that helped him form his values (maybe a good, but strict mom? a younger sibling he kinda wants to be a role models for?); 3) no big reasoning behind that, just him being a decent human being.

✩ pierced his own ears with safety pins when he was a teen to impress his delinquent friends. Pierced his ears unevenly though lmao.

✩ is a total tsundere about it, but secretly enjoys working in/belonging to a team. I wanna believe that him and the others (Mizuki, One Shotter, Gearsper) form some sort of a friendship after the MA raid, maybe go out for drinks or something. I love them all so much... I just want them to interact again in the manga 🖤

✩ maybe has some resentment towards the Blizzard Group, but is mainly focused on his own path as a hero. Not the one to badmouth the group or Fubuki behind their backs.

✩ is a regular in one barber shop and goes like once a week lmao like a lot. Keeping his zig zag haircut looking fresh is his top priority. Probably dyed his hair at some point too. Wishing we got a colored version of him in the manga.

✩ keeps his mace and chain next to his bed when sleeping. Curses a lot (says "damn" and "holy crap" in the manga), will call you a dumbass.

✩ and a super dumb last one: sings while driving. Like he's a decent driver, but a horrible singer (thinks he's good though lmao). Telling him to stop will just make him sing louder. Maybe that's the reason he lost his chauffeuring job lmao.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY LONG ASS TED TALK OF DUMB HEADCANONS. I AM SORRY I AM OBSESSED WITH A MINOR CHARACTER AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS. MAYBE SOME GOOD OPM ART WILL COME OUT OF THIS OBSESSION.

#needle star #one punch man #I took the canon crumbs and made it into a headcanon cake #also forgive me for any mistakes in the text

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

When did it even become cool to be alternative in the first place?

2010s I'm gonna say. Corresponds with the rise of Marvel and Big Bang Theory making it cool to be "nerdy". You also gotta remember that, unlike original punk and metal subcultures, the 2000s emo/alt scene didn't really have any underlining political or social meaning. They were just sad teens who didn't fit in and liked the same music. Once you get out of high school, most people don't care what you wear or what music you listen to, so they were always more susceptible to becoming "mainstream". As for wider society, pretty much every mainstream group, from corporations to entertainers to artists made the same mistake Obama did when he was elected and assumed there was a massive cultural shift to the left happening. They eagerly adopted all the social justice slogans and threw their verbal support behind the right causes, and once that happened, the so-called counterculture became the mainstream. It absorbed those "alternative" adults because they never really had a cause. They identify with "marginalized" groups because they built their teen and young adult identities around being the outsider. So when all the groups they used to view with distrust--corporations, media, politicians--started saying "all these groups are oppressed" they ate it up and identified with them. Even when they didn't actually belong to any of those groups (which is also largely responsible for the rise of trenders and "non-binary" shit, because that's the easiest way to larp as an oppressed minority). But now that no one is going to call them out, suddenly the outcasts are the ones being pandered to from all sides. Bam. Instant coolness.

But that shift to the left never really happened, just like it didn't when Obama won his first term. At least not to the degree it was assumed. You can already see the tidal wave receding and the pendulum starting to swing back in the other direction. Last year during this time, we were celebrating "Hispanic and Latinx Heritage Month". I don't think I saw a single bit of corporate virtue signaling that didn't use Latinx. This year, it's mostly been just Hispanic Heritage Month, with some adding on "where we celebrate hispanic, latino, and latina culture". Same with the pride flag. I think this was the first there wasn't a new pride flag that got picked up by the mainstream. Most went back to the usual rainbow flag when they did their corporate virtue signaling.

[faggotry-enjoyer]

https://definitions.uslegal.com/d/death-threat/

Under state criminal codes, which vary by state, it is an offense to knowingly utter or convey a threat **to cause** death or bodily harm to any person.

It is also an offense to threaten to burn, destroy or damage property or threaten to kill, poison or injure an animal or bird that belongs to a person.

You got hate, possibly a threat. A death threat is not what happened. You argue pedantics of how trauma survivors, POC, and more marginalized groups speak constantly and I think it's okay to do it to you as well.

I understand that you want attention (turning back on anon asks) but you can seriously be doing better for yourself. Obviously what that person said is out of line and I don't share the same sentiments, but you can't claim to be the victim of something that serious in this case. I hope you grow up a little but I don't want to facilitate it. Learn to recognize your white, goy, financially well position of power over other people and try to understand why so many people are upset with you.

Sincerely, someone who has been through worse and is still a decent person through it all.

i concede that the other ask may not have technically been a death threat. i maintain that focusing on that technicality here is messed up - someone just told me they want me to die. that's frightening no matter how you cut it.

in general, i actually tend to find the progressive fixation on language very frustrating. i only talk about language like that when it's actively harmful, and even then i know there's a time and a place.

for example, i talk on here about how phrases like "narcissistic abuse" contribute to demonization of personality disorders, but i would never choose to focus on that if somebody used the term when talking to me about their own trauma, because i know that's not the most important thing in that moment by a long shot. you do understand the difference between the two, right? hell, in this vein i even share stuff that has this kind of saneist language i would otherwise object to, because i'm capable of recognizing when terminology is a distraction.

the other one you probably have in mind is the way i discuss the misuse of terms like zionism, or dogwhistles more generally. and here? if you genuinely think that the kind of rhetoric that gets jews killed is on the same level as using somewhat stronger language than necessary while shaken, that's a you issue. especially because the people i'm talking to with this one are western leftists, who have left jews out of their activism for years and completely abandoned them since october 7th, to say nothing of the more active antisemitism. i'm not talking to palestinians who are directly affected, i'm talking to people who have the power to foment the kind of antisemitism that, again, gets jews killed. the western left are not in any way the victims here.

i didn't turn anon asks back on for attention, i did it because i usually prefer it that way and i'd hoped enough time had passed since the last unsettling anons i got. the blocklist dropped after that.

you don't get to decide that i can do better for myself, and i don't want you to facilitate my "growing up" either. i don't need the mentorship of cowards who won't dare to show their face when they condescend to me.

fascinating choice to bring up my goyische position of power here. for one, do you really think i'm unaware of that? the thing that i'm talking and sharing about every day? for two, in case you didn't notice, somebody just told me they want me to die because i stood up for jews. that's antisemitism. does it have the same kind of impact on me that it does on jews? not at all, not by any stretch of the imagination. this is a small, small taste of the kind of thing they go through on a daily basis. and even this is unnerving. do you think i don't know how much worse it is for them? do you think i don't come on here and listen to their pain every single day? you are using jews as a prop to get one over on me and it's not working. the day i shut up about antisemitism is the day i die. the day i abandon jews for the approval of other leftists is the day i die.

dressing your suck it up mentality in progressive language doesn't make it any less callous.

i'm sorry that you went through worse - genuinely, i am - and i'm sorry that you feel the need to assert that when someone dares to go through less than you did. it's sad to see the amount of cognitive dissonance on display here and i wish you well in resolving it.

#faggotry enjoyer asks #as always jewish mutuals/followers/etc you are welcome to correct critique etc. esp w point 7 #i don't mean to be positioning myself as an expert here by any means

[colorisbyshe]

man im sorry you keep getting ace discourse questions. youre too cool for this

It's fine. I know to some 14 year olds it's a very pressing that they think really matters. We're watching the rise of global fascism and the horrific effects of climate change devastating the most vulnerable people who cannot escape... but to some people, whether or not cishets can reclaim "queer" and sit at the cool kids table is the most manageable topic they can put on their plate.

Listen, to avoid future asks because I DID just get an influx of followers, I will put my thoughts out plainly:

Aphobia isn't real. It can't be.

Asexuality doesn't any shared experiences or identity to be oppressed. By that I mean, asexuals can be straight, gay, bisexual, or aroace, there is no shared gendered attraction. And "asexuality" can mean totally aroaceness, just a lack of sexual attraction, or a complete lack of sexual desire. Aces can want sex, consent to having sex they don't want, or just not want sex. Aces can even feel sexual attraction (demi, lithro, grey). When you make your identity a spectrum that includes the opposite of what your identity is... you no longer have an identity.

If you do not have an identity with a pool of shared ideology or experiences or even more abstract things like desires... there is no basis for oppression.

People DO face discrimination for not having sex and lacking sexual desire but that discrimination is more heavily tied misogyny and ableism, maybe misdirected homophobia. Most of the time, it isn't even tied to misogyny, it IS misogyny—it's just basic flavor rape culture.

On the flip side, people also face discrimination for having sex and having too much or the "wrong" sexual desire. For many marginalized groups, that means having ANY sexual (or romantic, shout out to the aros who think they're oppressed) desire at all.

So, if a celibate cisgender straight woman who feels sexual desire but just doesn't want to act on it is being harassed for turning down a man, is that aphobia? No. That's rape culture, baby.

And then there are aces and even aroaces who have sex, want sex, are kinky, and love to flaunt it. What aphobia are they facing? This means a non-ace woman is facing more "aphobic" discrimination than an actual, supposed asexual.

Aphobia is not real.

A culture made to punish and demand sexual desire IS real.

And, unfortunately, a lot of rhetoric within the ace community ends up reinforcing that rape culture, hurting their own cause. So, even if I did think a cisgender, straight person who MAYBE lacks sexual attraction and mAYBE doesn't want sex is somehow oppressed and that all cisgender, straight people who face oppression are LGBT, I wouldn't... want to associate with a group bent on regurgitating conversion therapy classics like "You can healthily have sex with people you aren't attracted to" and "You can be sexually gay but romantically straight" (Mormons fucking love that one!).

In a society where so many people ARE pressured into sex they do not want, I do not want to associate with people using the same talking points as sexual abusers, only this time they're using it to justify why cishets can still be queer or whatever.

I really, genuinely wish the best to people who are truly asexual, truly aromantic, who ARE getting shit for their lack of desires, but the communities they belong to need to be fixed before they can even call themselves LGBT alllies, let alone LGBT community members.

And I think a lot of people need to work on themselves and acknowledge that maybe a lot of rhetoric in their communities are just a way to distance themselves from theri sexual and romantic inclinations and any shame they may associate with them, rather than providing "real" identity.

Cause a "straight" man who really, really wants to fuck other men is obviously in denial. So what can we say about an ace who really wants to fuck their partner?

Entertaining this denial only hurts aces and LGBT people in the long run. And if we can't have that discussion honestly, there is no reason for me to entertain the idea of giving LGBT resources, spaces, platforms to our oppressors. Cause even if cishet aces are oppressed, even the most oppressed people on the planet, being oppressed doesn't cancel your role in LGBT oppression. Cishet women are oppressed, face systems of oppression much more closely linked to homophobia and transphobia than aphobia would be, and yet still don't belong in our community, so why would any other cishets belong?

I don't think this view is hateful. I would LOVE to dismantle the rape culture that hurts aces and non-aces alike. I would love to have fruitful dialogues about the pressure to have sex you do not want and how isolating the single life can be or whatever the fuck. A lot of these conversations have already been happening in feminist spheres but let's have another go. (Cause, if I haven't made it clear enough, "aphobic" concerns are actually just feminist concerns.) But if my views make anyone think I'm aphobic... sure. Homophobia and transphobia describe systems of oppression but if a slightly blunt pushback on a tumblr ask is aphobia, then I guess we have a new definition for the "phobic" suffix in this context. Redefining words is an ace community classic, so I'm not surprised.

Anyways, I think I've hit most major points for any newcomers. I will not be accepting new asks on this topic (even asks that agree with me or want to add more); I will just link y'all to my wishlist or to a song I want everyone to listen to.

This is my final word on the subject... unless I find a truly novel thing to say. Or I'm just in the mood to rant. But I'll be doing that on my terms, not to play a game with any new anons.

(That said, thanks anon for this ask, I'm not mad at you, lol. Just had to get this out cause I've gained a lot of followers today and can sense drama on the horizon.)

#q slur cw #ace discourse i fucking guess man

[katierosefun]

When Stormfront says "People love what I have to say. They believe in it. They just don't like the word 'Nazi'", it is so fucking scary because she is right. The whole show somehow manages to be so realistic despite the superheroes.

GOD YESSSS i so agree! something i love about the boys is that like . . . it really demonstrates how one mantra stems from nazi principles. the whole "make america safe/great" thing that was going on through the entirety of season 2 and the whole "listen, there are just some people who are Inherently Dangerous and We Should Kill Anyone who Even Looks Like Them because We Want to Keep Our Country Safe" thing that stormfront and homelander had going for them was so eerie and like . . . of course, if you, i dunno, read a history book or even remotely paid attention to your history classes, or, idk, just talked to someone who belongs to a marginalized group of people, then it's sooo obvious that like "yes, all these slogans about keeping our country safe has very eerie parallels to, y'know, some of the Worst Human Beings in Existence", but . . . god!

that was very incoherent, but i know what you mean. i love the boys for a lot of reasons, but i also really adore how like. it discusses nationalism + how idk, a lot of alt-right bullshit is just. dressed up as nazism/fascism/all the bad things. (the whole we just want to return to traditional american principles! we want to keep america safe! is just . . . god. godgodgodgod i love when shows actually discuss the very horror-esque thing about politics which is history repeats itself and people find new ways to be horrible but just slap on new labels!)

#answered #the boys #stormfront makes me so. GOD. #it makes me freak out even more when i remember that like. y'know her og supe name was liberty and etc #like y'know. something very haunting #and something very insane #about how the boys is like 'yes :) patriotism can be another word for nationalism :)' #'and nationalism :) can be another word for nazism :)' #the whole 'the aryan race is superior' and the whole 'some groups of people just deserve to die actually' #and the whole 'let's just scapegoat a whole group of people :)' #like man i am usually SOOO concerned about how like. some writers will try to discuss nazism + racism + etc in their works #but the boys has surprised me SO. MUCH. like why is this ... good writing. i did not expect this.

[dgcatanisiri]

I think sometimes, certain spaces end up being caught up in one issue, or issues that face primarily a certain group, and then end up so focused on that issue, that group, that they forget that other groups also face issues, or face similar issues.

Y’know, obviously a white cis gay telling a woman of color that she’s not marginalized is ridiculous and we rightly laugh at this sort of thing, but I do sometimes feel like there’s sometimes a demand that, if you don’t face “enough” persecution, you need to just shut up about your problems, and that, a lot of the time, this hits HARD when men try and discuss their problems, what with the whole ‘patriarchy’ thing.

It’s like, yeah, sure, “check your privilege” and that sort, but I feel like this sometimes gets abused and turned into a bludgeon - “no, your oppression doesn’t count and isn’t enough to count, so you don’t need to contribute to the conversation, and your attempts to do so are actually you talking over the ACTUALLY oppressed people involved, you are as bad as The Other Side, shut up and get out, you don’t belong here.” Despite how men face a lot of problems both within the patriarchal system as it is if they are not considered “masculine ENOUGH,” let alone when bringing in the other intersections, race, sexuality, identity, etc.

Or even, within that, there’s a segment of men who do face these issues, but don’t have the language and/or awareness of everything to express it properly, and, rather than understand and try to help bridge that awareness gap, the response centers around “a man trying to overtake the conversation,” rather than, say, a gay person talking about queer issues, a black person talking about racial issues, so on. Shove them back out of a conversation that they can contribute to, just because they might not have handled bringing it up “correctly.”

Like, just as an example within the queer community, I’ve seen the violent Twitter mobs come after trans people who don’t mention NBs in everything they speak about, when... Sometimes, yeah, you do want to and should be entitled to just speak about your position and your experiences. Not bringing up a community is not inherently erasure, it can also just as easily be that someone is simply trying to speak to the experiences and perspectives they know, often particularly to avoid talking over the experiences of those they don’t.

And some of it probably does have to do with internet echo chamber - you get the people into your circle who represent the point of view that you want, you start seeing that perspective as THE ONLY VALID one, because there is no alternative presented to you. And, as a result, if your ONLY VALID PERSPECTIVE is not acknowledged, not given its due in a conversation, then that conversation is not worth listening to.

Don’t mistake me as trying to say that I don’t fall in to this too. I know I do. It’s human nature. The general idea of what I’m going for here, though, is that this feels like an underdiscussed aspect of conversation in these spaces.

Like, if this WERE a “but what about MEN?” issue (and I argue that it’s not by virtue of this being something for all communities to consider), the question I’m really trying to go for here is “how do we keep a seat at the table open for everyone who is part of the conversation without letting ANY voice drown out the others?” Sometimes (granted, with this specific example, not very often), it actually IS a legitimate question to raise in a conversation.

Y’know, there ARE legitimate issues that men face and deal with that need to be addressed, and not even marginalized men - to address a single issue, with the way incel communities target vulnerable cis-straight white guys, we probably SHOULD be looking in to how and why they’re susceptible to these recruitment tactics and how to improve matters, so this really SHOULD be a conversation that involves them, and does so in a way that isn’t “all your role models of masculinity are bad and you can’t emulate them without being bad yourself.” It’s a conversation that should be happening.

And I don’t feel like it’s the kind of conversation that a lot of The Discourse™ is able to handle at the moment, because of giving in to this idea of “no, you do not have something to contribute to the conversation, no matter what your experience, so shut up and don’t say anything,” which just undermines its use in terms of rhetoric and actually facilitating change. Even if it’s meant as a “listen and learn to those who know the topic better than you because it’s their lived experiences, it’s still framed in a way that puts it forward as “you have nothing to contribute, and you are A Bad for attempting to in your ignorance.” And, as so happens in internet discourse, once you are labelled A Bad™, you are branded eternally with the label, and should expect that will forever taint your attempts to interact with anyone in these spaces. Once you’re frozen out of these spaces, what spaces are left for you?

Also, the fact that I took the overly simplified version of “but what about men?” and broadened it back out into “how to keep seats open at the table for all involved while not drowning anyone out”? That kinda goes back to that point of “maybe the person bringing this up doesn’t have the language to express themselves best.” Especially with the way that The Discourse™ likes to compact language down and turn a minor accident into a nuclear conflict...

Nuance is a lost and forgotten art in the spaces, and we need to bring it back. Some people may enter the conversation in bad faith, sure. But defaulting to believe that all people of a certain group are acting in bad faith... I kinda see that as a bad faith position itself. If people who want to learn are excluded from the start... What’s even the point of the discussion?

#dg rambles #dg rants

[joriullrich]

The series on Netflix "New Amsterdam" is a medical drama series on Netflix that follows the story of Dr. Max Goodwin, the new medical director at New Amsterdam Hospital. Dr. Goodwin is determined to disrupt the status quo and provide exceptional care to patients of diverse cultures, patients with a low economic status, and advocates for women's health. Max Goodwin's advocacy for different races reflects a commitment to health equity for everyone regardless of color, as he works tirelessly in the show to create a more inclusive and equitable health care system. Max engages with the local community, particularly underserved and marginalized populations, to understand their healthcare needs better. He advocates for resources and programs tailored to address the specific health disparities faced by different racial and ethnic groups. Max prioritizes patient-centered care and advocates for the rights and well-being of patients, regardless of their race or background. He ensures that all patients receive respectful, compassionate, and high-quality care, and he actively addresses any disparities in access or treatment experienced by minority patients. In season 6, episode 3, "Why Not Yesterday", Dr. Goodwin worked to start a Black Lives Matter movement throughout the hospital to help make it more inclusive and to help African Americans feel like they have a sense of belonging, in hopes to put a stop to systemic racism.

'New Amsterdam' Spoilers: Season 3, Episode 6 — System Racism (tvline.com)

Dr. Goodwin realizes that the only way he can improve patient cares is if he listens to the patients directly. Dr. Goodwin’s catch phrase throughout the show is “How can I help?” He says this to his coworkers, strangers on the street, and most important of all, his patients. Max works to engage his patients in the best care plan that they can have and asks specific questions to make sure he understands what is wrong, where they come from, and their background. Max's main goal is to end systemic racism as is shown in the video below.

Max's approach to patient care really follows alongside with Peggy McIntosh's privilege list. Two of the statements on her list of what we went over in class resembles how Dr. Goodwin approached his patients to connect with them on a higher level than just knowing their name and reason to be in the hospital.

This brings the conversation to white privilege and how Peggy McIntosh explains how people do not realize that they have white privilege or that they are more fortunate than others.

I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.

I can choose public accommodation without fearing that people of my race cannot get in or will be mistreated.

Dr. Goodwin rounds with patients to let them know that is it not their fault that they are in the situation that they are in and let them know that they will get the same treatment and cares that everyone else gets, no matter the race.

This shows how white privilege can circulate so easily, as we see that the only patients who were worried about receiving health equity were people of a different race.

White - Privilege Checklist | Project Humanities (asu.edu)

"White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack" and "Some Notes for Facilitators" - National SEED Project

Many patients throughout the show expressed their worries about getting care in the hospital due to their race, socioeconomic status, and gender identity. Several patients admitted that they always would avoid health care due to being a different race or not having the funds for healthcare. Max Goodwin made it his priority to advocate for these patients and let them know that they are in a safe environment with the best cares around.

Richard Dyer, a prominent cultural critic, known for his work is cultural theory and whiteness studies has an article, "On the Matter of Whiteness." This articles main idea is that how whiteness operates as a normative category, influencing perceptions of identity and power. In the article Dyer explains how we (white people) talk about the "blackness" of an African American or the "Chineseness" of a Chinese person, but no one ever talks about the "whiteness" of a white person. Dyer argues that this is because "white" is the "normal" category when it comes to race.

In the show, Max Goodwin made it a goal for patients to not see themselves as different because they are African American, Chinese, Hispanic, etc. and that there is no "normal" race. Dr. Goodwin put in efforts to show that every race deserves equal rights and treatment to show that there is no normal.

Dyer.pdf: Multicultural America (instructure.com)

#health equity #new amsterdam #white privelage #Youtube

[mourningwithmagicians]

Dear J,

This is the longest I've gone in adulthood without speaking to you. I know you're thinking about me. I'm constantly thinking about you. It feels like my hurt has gotten so much worse. I hope that for you it has gotten better.

I laid in bed last night and told myself: "this is real life. this is not a dream. he is not yours anymore. this is real life. i hope you realize that. this is a choice. this will affect the rest of your life." I couldn't sleep. I miss you. I miss knowing your arms belonged to me. I miss your head resting on my chest. I miss the smell of your hair. I miss your smile. I miss your sweet voice. I miss your eyes.

I also feel so ugly inside and out. I can't sleep and feel so depressed that you can see it and feel it. I have to drink so much coffee to have even marginal energy. I feel like the worst kind of person. I am working 7-7. Sometimes, I am working 7-8. It's miserable, but it allows me to forget you for large chunks of time. The misery of work makes the loss of you more bearable. It requires me to compartmentalize my feelings until I am in bed and can allow myself the time and space to process.

What I am processing is that I am not okay. I hate myself. I was the best version of myself with you, and I have lost that. I have nothing to look forward to. I don't want to go to chicago, i don't want to go to taylor swift, i don't want to be around people anymore who are not you. fuck it's so hard to listen to their stories and know that everyone knows about us when they don't fucking deserve to know anything. fuck i hate it all. i hate this it's so hard.

im having the hardest time tolerating pictures of knitting and of ceiling fans and hearing about how everyone knows what happened between us. nobody should know. nobody gets to know. i am so mad about that irrationally. if people don't know then it's not real. but it's so much worse like today when someone asked about you, innocently of course. what do i say? it broke my heart. i saw a picture of the group, including us, last year in chicago framed in her home. fuck i hate all of it.

i am just really sad. it's hard telling people that i am okay because i know nobody wants to hear it. nobody wants to hear about how i lost the love of my life because i was selfish. i was wrong. im so sorry. you're the love of my life.

i am so unloveable but you loved me. you touched every part of me. you desired me. you valued me. and sweet J, i loved you. i showed you how much, i still do, i will never make love that way again. nobody ever gets to touch me that way again.

more than anything, i am just so. fucking. numb. so. depressed. so much rage. so much anger and annoyance at everything.

how did you ever love me? im finding it really hard to process that. i am not a good person. i am not patient, i am not kind. i was not there for us in the home stretch. we could've been married right now. i still want to have your babies. i wish we would've just done that fuck it all and just lived our lives.

this will be my biggest regret. i am unloveable and horrible and you took all that away from me and now it's all back. i hate the version of myself i am without you basically a living breathing shit filled monster. i dont want anybody else i want you.