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hubbytaeil · 4 years

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request: mark lee smut please :3

a/n: thank you for your request! I think I got a little bit carried away… I’m sorry if it’s too long and not that good :(

Genre: summer camp!au, smut

Characters: Mark Lee x Female Reader ft. Johnny, Jaehyun, Lucas, Sicheng

Word count: 3051

Summary: Mark Lee may be terrible at basketball but he sure compensates in other departments.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

As much as you denied it, you loved summer camp, you adored sleeping in a bungalow with your friends, sitting around a bonfire while playing random songs on your ukulele and swimming in the lake nearby. More than anything, you loved how many sports you were able to play. Every summer the campers would be divided in two teams and they would have to compete against each other in various matches. This year you were part of the team called Tigers and you couldn’t wait for the competition to start.

“Are you ready for the first match of the summer?!” one of the camp counsellors shouted into a megaphone while everyone was still having breakfast. All the campers responded with loud cheers. “Enjoy the rest of your breakfast, I’ll see you all at the basketball court at 10AM. But first… can I hear some cheers for the Tigers?!”. Your team started clapping their hands, slamming their fists on the table and you chanted with a few other girls the teams name. “Can I hear the Dragons now?!”. The opposing team did the exact same thing, some members even stood up throwing their hands in the air. To be precise, there were three guys who were giving it their all to cheer. The shorter one of the three who were standing up shouted “Dragons rule!” while pointing at your table. You looked at him and rolled your eyes in the most visible way possible so that he could see. He was clearly irritated by your reaction but you couldn’t care less and turned back around

“I think you pissed off Mark Lee, y/n. He’s staring, like, really hard”. “Who?” you answered unbothered, although you were tempted to turn around and a look for yourself. Your friend Lily explained that this was his first time at this camp and that he had a bit of a reputation back in his hometown. “A reputation for what?” you asked with your eyes never leaving your bowl. “A reputation for being so hot!” she responded excited and the other girls in your team giggled. “You guys have terrible taste, let me tell you.” You pointed out while smirking. “Look who’s talking! Also, have you seen his friends? The one on the right is called Jaehyun and I think the other one is called Johnny. Damn… I’d climb that like a tree.” “Lily! What the fuck!” you almost shouted while laughing. “Oh God, they’re all staring at you now. Quick don’t turn- wait I said don’t turn around, y/n!”. You ignored Lily’s words as you shot a deadly stare at the guys but they continued untroubled. The one whose name was Johnny leaned over to Mark to whisper something in his ear and he laughed in response, without taking his eyes off of you. This whole situation was getting on your nerves; you wished you could’ve smacked that little smirk off his face. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? Are you practicing your sad face for when we’re going to kick your ass?” Mark exclaimed while fist bumping Jaehyun. You grinned mockingly at that remark. “You’ve got a lot of confidence for such a short guy, are you sure you can play darling?”. Mark’s friends started laughing at your comeback and hit his arm. “I like her.” Said Johnny in between laughs and Mark glared at his friend, hurt in his pride. Then he turned to you and mouthed “See you on the court.” You couldn’t be bothered with giving him an answer.

The boys’ teams were first up in the line-up. When the Dragons arrived on the court you and other team mates started booing. Mark met your gaze and threw a middle finger up in your direction. In response, you decided to throw him off so you put your hand on your lips and blew him a kiss. Mark was clearly taken back and his cheeks turned bright red. You laughed and shouted “Loser!”. Soon after your team joined the court and you stood up clapping enthusiastically while rooting for your friends. “Go Lucas! Show them how it’s done!” you exclaimed as loud as you could. Your friend Lucas in response pointed at you and winked, which made the crowd howl. “Wow, are we in High School Musical or something?” said Lily while clinging on your arm. “Did you…?” “Lily, doesn’t your mind get tired from thinking about sex so much?” “I’m just asking! I mean he’s hot, who wouldn’t try to get with him?” “Right.” You smirked while thoughts of the night before started invading your mind. Hot, sweaty bodies pressing against each other as the moonlight reflects softly on the water. Whispers, low grunts and inaudible swears filling the air around you. Big hands kneading your ass and your palms pressed on Lucas’ muscular chest. Your cheeks burned as you started to picture those moments, you looked down and then back at Lucas as he was getting ready. He smiled at you and you reciprocated. Lily was quick to notice. “Wait… no way! You go girl!” she wasn’t exactly subtle and you blocked your hand on her mouth but people were already staring, even Mark whose eyes would go back and forth between you and Lucas. Then he turned to Johnny and said something to him while holding his fists. Almost immediately, Johnny started walking in your direction as Mark protested and Jaehyun held him in his place.

“Y/n!” shouted Johnny to get your attention. “What do you want?” you answered with a poisonous tone from the bleachers. “Me and the boys want to make a bet.” You cracked a fake smile at the proposal, but surprisingly you were in interested in what they had thought of. “If we win, you and Mark are going on a canoe ride together tonight.” All the campers knew what taking the canoes at night meant, it was everyone’s excuse to go fool around in peace. You looked at Mark as he avoided your gaze, clearly embarrassed. “Did anyone ever tell you that you’re the worst wingman ever, dude?” you said while crossing your arms in front of you. “What? Too scared to say yes?” you didn’t want to appear weak so you accepted. “I mean, our team is going to win anyway, so saying yes won’t hurt. On two conditions.” “What is it?” asked Johnny. You beat around the bush for a few moments as you watched Mark’s reaction at every single words you said. You couldn’t explain how pleased you were while seeing him struggle. “Both the boys and the girls’ team have to win. If only one of them wins, the bet is off. And If we win both times, you are going with Lily on the canoe.” Lily widened her eyes in surprise. Johnny gave her a bright smile in response “Deal!” and then walked back to his team as soon as he heard the whistle. “Y/n… we have to beat them. We must” exclaimed your friend. You just laughed, confident in your team’s skills. You saw Lucas in the corner of your eye with an angry expression on his face. Trying not to let anyone around you notice, you pointed at him and then pointed at your pouting lips. He couldn’t stay mad at you for long and your cute expression only gave him more motivation to win.

As expected, Lucas was a great player; there wasn’t a time where he would be caught slipping, his eyes were always on the ball and his movements were swift and neat. Although the opposing team had very competent players like Jaehyun, who would give them a hard time, Lucas would never miss a hoop. As the referee’s whistle marked the Tigers’ victory, everyone stood up and clapped. Lucas came running straight to you and you climbed down the bleachers to meet him halfway and congratulate him. “You were fantastic- Lucas!” out of the blue he lifted you from the ground and held you in a tight hug. “I’m sorry, I’m all sweaty.” You felt him pout in the crook of your neck. “It doesn’t matter.” You replied while putting your arms around him lovingly. All the others members of the team started making fun of you with all sorts of jokes and you were starting to get embarrassed. “Please, put me down now.” You said with a shy smile on your face. “Just one moment.” Said Lucas as he started spinning around with you still attached to his neck, making you dizzy and causing just louder noises from the others. “C’mon Lucas, she has to play, put her down!” said Sicheng, trying to cool down the situation. After he finally put you down and got his lips closer to your ear making you shiver. “Now go win so you can get out of that stupid bet.” You moved away to meet his gaze. “You know I always come in first.” You replied with a smirk. “Oh, I know” chuckled Lucas while pinching your hip playfully.

The girls’ teams match was just as upbeat and exciting, if not more. From time to time while playing, you could see Mark in the corner of your eye as he scratched his knee nervously. You felt uneasy at how many times you had made eye contact during the entire match. There you were, in a pool of sweat in your basketball shorts and a crop-top, unaware of your charms in that moment. Unaware of Mark’s deepest thoughts as he watched your glistening body bounce at every jump. As you shot the last lay-up, you heard a whistle. “The Tigers are our winners today!”. You turned to Lily and started jumping in excitement. Soon you were all cheering in a circle as you rejoiced in your victory. You caught a glimpse at the losers and you nodded your head to make them come closer. Mark was the only one that stayed in his place. You held out both your hands to Jaehyun and Johnny. “Good game.” You exclaimed with a smile. Both guys shook your hands while smirking. “Also, you’d better get your canoe ready, big guy. My friend Lily is not a cheap date.” You winked at him and then turned to a rather embarassed Lily.

As the sun was setting, everyone was busy setting up the tables for dinner. Lucas was helping you put on a tablecloth, never taking his eyes off of you. “What?” you said playfully. “You look great in that skirt.” He mouthed so he could not be heard. After you finished, he put his arm around you and kissed you softly on the cheek as you two sat down with your friends. Once again, you were drawn to Mark who was standing in the corner of the main room silently. He noticed your gaze and quickly avoided it. You kind of felt bad, after hurting his ego all day long. All of a sudden, the camp counsellor entered to make an announcement. Two people were going to collect some extra firewood for the bonfire that night. The groans and complains of the campers didn’t move the old man at all. “Okay, let’s see whose turn is it… Mark and y/n’s turn!”. Took by surprise, your jaw dropped. He was the last person you wanted to be alone with and you were sure that the feeling was mutual. You felt Lucas’ arm twitch around from jealousy but you put your hand on his leg to reassure him. “I don’t like him. Not even a bit.” “I don’t either.” You weren’t sure if you truly believed those words or you just wanted please Lucas.

Twenty minutes had probably passed after you had left the main room. As you and Mark were walking through the woods in complete silence - you wondered if you had ever felt so awkward in your whole life. But you also felt pity for him, this guy had been the target of all the jokes for the entire day, not only by the opposing team but also his friends. “Mark…” you uttered hesitantly, which caused him to look at you while he was holding a bunch of wood pieces. “I’m sorry about today.” “For what? It’s not your fault if Johnny’s an asshole and never thinks before opening his mouth.” You noticed his muscles tightening around the logs revealing two strong biceps you hadn’t noticed before. “But what does it matter to you anyway? You’ve got your pretty little boyfriend waiting for you, am I right?” “He’s not my boyfriend.” Mark shot his eyes at you with a relieved expression. “You know what? I think you’re jealous.” you fired back. “N-no, I’m not jealous! What the fuck.” “You seemed like you were this morning.” You raised your eyebrow at him. He froze and the spot but soon after a grin appeared on his face. “Oh, you thought I was jealous? No sweetie, I was just thinking about how that guy’s so tall that he can’t fuck you right.” Mark’s dirty words caught you off guard and as much as you tried to feel disgusted, you were undeniably turned on by his boldness. “You’ve been talking such a big game all day, but I bet you’re all talk and no actions.” You pointed out while biting your lips unconsciously. Mark did not talk back, he just threw all the logs to the ground, grabbed your face fiercely with both of his hands as he started kissing you roughly. You cursed yourself at how easily you had given in to the kiss. Your mouths were clashing against each other, both of you fighting to assert dominance, resulting in even sloppier kisses that only made you feel wetter than you already were. He grabbed your ass as he pushed you against him and you inevitably felt his boner against your denim skirt, which made you moan against his mouth. Then he started attacking your neck as you began grinding your core against his to get some sort of relief. “Want my cock that bad, uh?” “Yes, too bad there’s an asshole attached to it.” You said in between moans while grabbing his length over his jeans. He grunted at your remark but completely forgot his anger as you jerked him off painfully slow. While your hand worked on his member, he slipped a hand under your skirt, making you squirm. After a few minutes you moved him away, causing Mark to frown. “Get on the ground.” You ordered. “What?! No way, what if I don’t want to?” then you got closer to his face “Either you get on the ground right now, or you don’t get to fuck me.” You replied with devilish look, as if some sort of sex demon had possessed you on the spot. And Mark loved that. He followed your orders with no more complains. You got on top of him, pushed up your skirt and removed your soaking panties, revealing yourself in all your glory as Mark licked his lips. As you adjusted yourself on him, he grabbed your breasts eagerly and was caught by surprise when he realised that you were not wearing a bra. You smirked at his incredulous face and you slowly guided his own hands on your bosom. The sight of you grinding so hungrily on him as you threw your head back lost in your own pleasure, had Mark feeling light-headed. You, on the other hand, were no different. Letting Mark get his way with you in the middle of that forest did something to you, you couldn’t put it into words. You forgot about everything, about that stupid basketball game, about dinner, the logs, about Lucas. Every thought was washed away by Mark’s sweet moans as he kissed your nipples over your shirt. Completely out of patience you unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants finally freeing his cock. “Come here.” Grunted Mark while grabbing you by the hips. You looked into each other’s eyes as he entered your wet entrance. You mouth released a silent moan as you held on to his shoulders for balance. His cock felt so good inside you, all you could do was moan and sigh desperately. “Damn, you’re loud, baby.” Mark managed to exclaim. You grabbed his jaw with one hand as you kept fucking yourself on him “Shut up and fuck me right like you said you would.” Your words made Mark’s eyes turn dark. He grabbed your hips once again and fully lay down as he pounded into you way harder than before, making you see stars. You tried to hold back your moans by forcing your hand on your lips, fearing someone might hear you, but Mark wasn’t helping. “I wish I could’ve done this during the game, when you were wearing those basketball shorts. God, you looked so fucking hot. I could’ve just fucked you in the middle of the court- oh, God.” His words made you clench around him resulting in him losing his ability to form any sentences.”S-so that’s w-why you were s-staring? Because y-you wanted- oh God!” your words were cut off as he started playing with your clit. You were both so needy for each other, so eager as you chased your highs. You pushed your head in the crook of his neck, getting lost in his scent as he hit your sweet spot repeatedly. “P-please, m-make me come.” That was last sentence you were able to utter. He nodded as he kissed your lips. “I’ll make you come so hard, don’t worry.” All it took you were a few more moments and soon after you felt an explosive orgasm taking over both you. You grasped a fist of Mark’s hair as you rode out your high. Then you pushed yourself off of him and lay on the ground next to him. Pants filled the air as they became one with the chirping of birds. You turned your head to face Mark only to find out that his eyes were already on you. You blushed. “Oh so, just a few moments ago you were ordering me to fuck you and now you’re blushing? I don’t get you at all.” He chuckled and the sound of his laugh made your heart flatter. “But that’s why I like you.” You looked at him and smiled. You shifted to your side and put your hand on his as you pressed your lips on the corner of his mouth. “We should do this more often.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

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twilightpoison · 4 years

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Hi! Can I please request a Haikyuu matchup, if its not to much to ask. I’m a 5’1 pan female with long hair that fades from red to blonde. I am very curvy/busty and I am very insecure about it. I am very soft-spoken, intelligent, shy, and get flustered easily. I love to play the ukulele and sing! I have been bullied, so i tend to shut myself out from others. I’m also an INTJ, Aquarius and Hufflepuff! Thank you so much!

Another adorable sounding person!!! Hello!!!!! :D Sorry this a bit late, went back to work this week so i hadn’t had time to write everything down.

I’m be honest with you. Normally when I make these I would go through scenarios with many boys until I fine one that would probably fit the best or that I can work with. But for you, it seems i matched you with a Team along with a Boi...

Lengthy introduction’s aside. I match you with Ushijima Wakatoshi!

Jeez two swan bois in a row lol.

BUT HEAR ME OUT. If there is on thing i know its that Shiratorizawa are all supportive sappy fucks that would definitely not put up with bullying. Tendou especially since he was in your shoes at one point.

It would probably take along time for you and Ushi to actually date tbh. I would imagine you became their manager first and getting adopted as the teams younger sibling before y’all date. The team definitely would play a part with you two getting together ngl. Like Ushijima wouldn’t know he would had a crush before someone pointed out to him. Now he just be like “Well damn what do I do with this information.” Nothing would change between you two besides him showing more interest in what you like. He would probably be the type to just drop this information on you randomly. Like you two can be cleaning up and he be like “Do you want to do on a date with me?” While in the background his teammates are just like in shock that he asked like that. He wouldn’t pressure you for an answer tbh and tells you to take your time.

Can i just...

Imagine you two sitting outside for lunch in the courtyard or on the roof or whatever, and just you strumming your ukulele and him just listening????? Thats just the softest thing in the world.

Ushi doesn’t talk much himself and he is fine with sitting in silence or hearing you talk. I know Shiratorizawa has their students living in dorms but let me still offer the anime trope of walking home when its sunset and everything is just peace around you. Being in a relationship with him means a lot of peace and calmness. Idk why I feel like that though so I can explain it. I picture him being very patient with those he cares for. So you will always feel safe around him.

Be careful though. He is a blunt one with complements. You wont be able to tell if its just how he be, or he is actual enjoys seeing you flustered. Spoiler alert: he doesn’t know when he is being smooth but loves your reactions. HE IS ALSO THE TYPE TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” WITH A STRAIGHT AF FACE.

Dude did I mention how family based Shiratorizawa can be? Those who wronged you will get yeeted into the sun, and if you don’t want them to burn to a crisp then those people would be intimidated and wont ever hurt you.

I hope you enjoy my little rant lol, I honestly hope I got Ushi’s character right lol. He is a little dense but means well. The other boi’s I matched you with are: Iwaizumi, Bokuto, and Daichi.

#I’m pretty sure i messed up his personality #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu matchups #Haikyuu #haikyuu ushijima #asks #match ups

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bethhxrmon · 5 years

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All I Ask of You Pt. 24

“Turn my head with thoughts of summertime” - “All I Ask of You” from the Phantom of the Opera

Pairing: Peter Parker x Female OC

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: The summer camp arc commences!!!!!

Warnings: Some kinda rude jokes??? Cute stuff??? Maybe swear words

A/N: We’re getting closer to the part that I’m super hyped to write about !!!!!!! Just saying

You can find the masterlist for the series in my bio!

“So… we’re seriously going on a road trip… all the way across the country?” Harper asked dryly as Tony pulled out into the traffic.

Tony nodded, “Yeah, we gotta keep Underoos and Pikachu under the radar. And if the press saw that Pep and I had four teenagers, it would be noticed.”

“But�� we went to Germany on a plane,” Peter pointed out.

“You know there’s an ocean between New York and Germany, right?” Annie asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Precisely. And I needed to get over there quickly. If it were up to me, I would drive everywhere,” Tony replied.

Harper sighed, “This is gonna be such a long drive. You should’ve just let me stay in Seattle and meet up later.”

“But what about orientation?” Annie asked.

“Psh… I don’t need classes or to know where my stuff is! I don’t wanna be stuck with all you guys for a four day drive. No offense,” Harper said, pulling a sketchbook out of their bag.

Ned turned around to face Harper, “But we’re the fun crowd! We can play all sorts of games and look at all the landscapes and stuff!”

Harper scoffed, “Don’t kid yourself, I’m gonna probably take a nap and if anyone wakes me up, I might commit murder- wait… I shouldn’t joke about that…”

“You don’t need to protect me. I can take death jokes. Isn’t laughing about stuff supposed to be therapeutic anyways?” Annie questioned messing around with her cardigan sleeve.

“Well, I’d keep things business as usual if I were you guys. If anyone starts asking questions, we don’t need them finding out two of you are overpowered teens and one of that one of them has a body count,” Tony said, keeping his eyes on the road.

Pepper turned around to face the others, mainly looking at Annie, “He doesn’t mean that-”

“But he does. And it’s fair, I kinda killed a dude… I mean, at least it was a bad guy and not some innocent guy,” Annie said with a shrug.

Harper frowned, “I should’ve gotten over here sooner-”

“Nope. No. We’re not doing this shit right now. It’s way too early in the day to start crying about stuff,” she responded, pulling a huge book from her backpack.

Tony nodded, “Well, whenever you do decide to talk about your life story, just don’t do it in public or near cameras.”

“Says Tony Stark of Stark Industries, but okay,” Harper retorted, looking up from their sketch.

“Hey, maybe we should talk about something else,” Peter suggested, “Like, what book are ya reading?”

Annie glanced up at Peter who was turned in his seat to look at her, “Oh, just some light reading.”

“That looks like it’s as big as a dictionary!” Peter exclaimed, staring at her book.

She shrugged, “Maybe it is… actually, that would be dry as hell to read. It’s War and Peace, actually.” “You’re kidding.”

“Nope, look at it for yourself, I started it last night,” she replied, handing him the book.

Peter blinked, “No way, you had to have started it after school.”

“No, I just don’t sleep much,” she replied with another shrug as she took back her book.

Ned looked back at Harper and Annie, “I just don’t know how you guys can do anything without getting sick.”

“Well, when you have parents who are crazy rich, you get used to trips. I mean, it’s normally an airplane, but same difference I guess,” Harper responded, swearing under their breath when they hit a bump.

The conversation stayed fairly light-hearted, and Annie paid more attention to her book. She hadn’t been able to sleep, but that was beginning to become something that was normal for her. It was either stare at her dark room and watch her cat run around or do something that was moderately productive.

In all fairness, she had been meaning to read the book for some time, but hadn’t had the time. Between being a hero and play rehearsal, Annie barely got her homework done. However, with a long drive ahead of them, she felt that getting the book read would be a breeze.

“How does she do that?” Ned asked.

Harper raised an eyebrow, “Do what?”

“Ignore everything we’re saying and keep reading that book. I tried reading it, it’s the dullest thing ever. Who cares about a bunch of Victorian Era people anyways?” he responded, shaking his head.

“I do, clearly. And it’s not Victorian Era… I doubt she was even alive at the time. So it’s actually the Regency Era, which is only if we go based off of what the English labelled their time periods. And if you really tried to read it, you would know it’s Russian anyways,” Annie interjected, still staring at her book.

Peter chuckled, “That’s actually brilliant, how do you know that?”

“My dad’s an English professor at an Ivy League school. If I didn’t know that, he’d disown me. If he didn’t do that already,” she replied with a weak laugh.

Pepper turned around, “You’re kidding right? Your dad wouldn’t actually do that, would he?”

“Heck if I know, I kinda ratted him out for rigging my audition… oh, yeah, by the way, Peter, I probably wasn’t supposed to get the lead. So there’s that,” Annie sighed, “Anyways, he probably won’t as long as my mom has anything to say about it, but who knows.”

“Well I doubt anyone would go to such drastic measures,” Pepper insisted.

Harper nodded, “Yeah, Annie’s always had a flair for the dramatics, this isn’t anything new by any means. Like when she first got her powers… oooh, she thought that she was getting cancer and that she had a funky tumor. It was actually kinda funny.”

“Was not!”

“Definitely was.”

Tony coughed, “Okay, kids, I’m not supposed to be a babysitter, but I need you to all settle down.”

Harper smirked, “Shoulda thought about that one before you went ahead and took four teens across the entire country.”

“Besides, what’re we gonna do? Wake the Amish?” Ned asked, looking at the fields as they drove through what was clearly no longer New York City.

Tony sighed, “Maybe I should’ve thought this through. Maybe I should just stop here and have all you guys walk.”

“Bet! I can be pretty damn resourceful,” Harper replied with a smirk. Ned nodded, “Yeah! And besides, Peter’s literally Spider-Man, he could figure something out!” “Hey, Peter’s not the only one with superpowers,” Annie pointed out, looking up from her book again. The banter was distracting enough for Annie to not think about everything going on. Not that she felt like there was a whole lot to think about that she could get away with. Hell, by all rights, Annie knew that she shouldn’t be alone in the first place. Not after everything that had happened, she wasn’t even sure if she trusted herself. So she tried to focus on what everyone else talked about, but every once in a while her mind would simply wander off and she couldn’t help but think of everything at once.

It wasn’t a smart idea, and Annie knew that. At least, some part of her did. However she zoned out entirely, focusing on her own thoughts for the time being. She hardly realized how long she had been thinking until she felt the minivan they were all in slow down. They were stopping at some gas station in the middle of nowhere, and the way she jolted was easy for Harper to notice.

“What got into you?” Harper asked, raising an eyebrow.

Annie shrugged, “Wasn’t expecting… well the slowing down I guess.”

“Right… well do you wanna run around the gas station with us?” they asked, pushing the seat down in front of them and got out of the minivan.

She shrugged, “Why not?”

Annie got out of the car, realizing that her legs had been seriously asleep when she got out and stood on the weathered asphalt. It almost felt like there wasn’t any ground there, and she quickly tripped over her own feet. Before she could, Peter caught her.

“You gotta be careful,” he said, not letting go of her until she was standing properly.

Without a word, Annie hugged him tightly. Her strength almost surprised Peter, but he was quick to hug her back. They stepped apart when Tony coughed a bit.

“Please tell me this isn’t a thing,” Tony said dryly.

Harper laughed, “Please, this is long overdue. Oooooh, Peter, you should’ve heard all the things Annie’s said about you! It’s actually super cute!”

“W-what’re you talking about?” Peter asked, his cheeks reddening.

They grinned, “Oh, just about how sweet you always are and how your eyes-”

Annie cut Harper off by trying to jump on them and close their mouth, “Not important! Let’s get some snacks!”

“Wait, you should know what Peter’s said about Annie! It’s sweet! Clearly we’ve got a lot to talk about,” Ned said, leading the way into the gas station

Harper nodded, “Oh, hell yeah we do! Come on!”

Peter looked at Annie, “So… what was that about my eyes?”

“Oh um… nothing, that was like… oh jeez, look at the time. We gotta blast if we’re gonna make it to Chicago tonight,” she said, slowly backing up.

He chuckled a bit, “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me, come on, we should go inside at least.”

It took Annie a moment to agree, but she eventually stepped forward. As they walked into the small convenience store, her hand had just brushed against Peter’s. She nearly pulled her hand back, but Peter laced his fingers between hers.

“Y-you know, I don’t remember exactly what I said when I was talking about your eyes and stuff, but I definitely know it was when we were doing all that rehearsing and… well, it’s just really hard to not crush on you when I was spending so much time with you. And… I don’t know where I was going with that, but yeah,” she trailed off, feeling her face heating up the more she spoke.

Peter squeezed her hand, “I get it, I mean… I liked you before, and I wasn’t even sure which… well um… part of you? I guess that’s how I’d say it. It’s like… well, I don’t really know.”

“Annie! Look over here, they’ve got cheap ukuleles over here,” Harper called out, waving Annie over. She walked over with Peter, “Oh, I should get one! I’m definitely getting one! That’s, like, the one instrument I know how to play! Well, unless you count vocals… but I had to play it for my musical last year!”

“You’re not getting that,” Pepper said.

Annie frowned, “But it’s my money, I literally have so much because, ya know, guilty parents… well, guilty parent, benefits!”

“You’re not getting it because I can get you a way better one. You shouldn’t buy some cheap, plastic instrument. I’ll find one that you’ll love when we stop for the night.” Pepper insisted.

Annie shook her head, “No, I couldn’t possibly accept that! I’m not even that good, you don’t gotta spend a bunch of money on me.”

“Well, you gotta learn to accept expensive things, Harper and I are gonna be working on your suit. That’s gonna be worth… well, let’s not go into that,” Tony added, walking up.

“Come on, these people are filthy rich, richer than my family. Come on, just take the thing that hasn’t even been given to you,” Harper said, running a hand through their ginger hair.

Annie sighed, “Okay, fine, but just know I can be perfectly capable of providing for myself.”

Once they grabbed all sorts of junk food, they piled back into the van where Annie once again tried to read her book. Her concentration on everything everyone else was saying dwindled. Though they did switch seats so Peter was in the back next to Annie instead of Harper.

Everything had gone to a calm state of things once a lot of the candy and snacks they bought had been eaten. Annie was reading about how Natasha was madly in love with her cousin, something Annie would occasionally point out to everyone else. She was resting on Peter as she read, Peter occasionally glancing at the words on the page.

After a couple of hours, Tony had to put on some classic rock music to keep from getting bored while driving for hours on end. It didn’t ruin Annie’s concentration and she actually felt herself starting to fall asleep from how tired she was. For the first time in weeks she felt like she was going to get some decent sleep. That was until she felt Peter shift his position.

“Hey, um… Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good,” Peter said, his face paling.

Tony turned back, “Shit, kid, are you sick?”

“I feel like I’m gonna…” Peter held his hands over his mouth.

Annie jolted up, not wanting to get thrown up on and she found one of the plastic bags and handed it to Peter. Though the car was slowing down, it was anyone’s bet if they were going to stop in time.

Once the car did stop, Peter bolted out, not hesitating to throw up on the side of the road.

“Um… has he ever been on a road trip before?” Harper asked, continuing their sketch.

Ned shrugged, “I mean, yeah… like bus rides… but not cross-country.”

Tony had been out with Peter, making sure that he was okay. And when Peter got back in the car, Annie positioned herself so he could lay on her instead. Either way, they both ended up falling asleep until they stopped for the night right outside of Chicago.

Taglist: @flushings-here / @gaypanda / @gryfinpuffs / @parkerpuff / @lionsfandomsandbearsohmy / @buzzinglee / @ijustdontknowsometimes / @dolphinsarecuteandstuff / @lcy-thot / @twilightparker (just ask to be added to the taglist!!!)

#peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfic #peter parker x oc #spider-man #spider-man x reader #spider-man x oc #mcu #marvel #spider-man: homecoming #mcu fanfiction #original character #writing #all i ask of you fic

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i-am-grell · 5 years

Text

Here’s My Top 100 For 2018 From Spotify

And me trying to justify them! (Look, some are WIP-related, others are jams, some I really can’t explain I just got back into Glee for like a month at one point this year...) Here’s the playlist

1. From a Mountain In The Middle Of The Cabins - Panic! At The Disco

Look, I just love the bouncy piano and the tuba. You can never have a bad tuba.

2. The End. - My Chemical Romance

Goes along with Chapter 8 of my WIP, Interlude, because I’m mean

3. Blank Space - I Prevail

This also goes along with Interlude from Chapter 1 - 5

4. If It Means A Lot To You - A Day To Remember

This one goes with my WIP Blood Bound (This one isn’t posted anywhere) (specifically, book 5)

5. Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes - Fall Out Boy

Another Blood Bound one (Book 7)

6. This Could Be Anywhere In The World - Alexisonfire

Interlude

7. The Curse of Curves - Cute is What We Aim For

This was going to be Interlude-related but got replaced. Still a banger

8. Disturbia - The Cab

The theme song of Dreavyn from my WIP Aaron Being Normal and if anyone has any tips on how to control a chaotic bisexual OC please let me know

9. Jumpsuit - Twenty One Pilots

Funky bass

10. MakeDamnSure - Taking Back Sunday

A theme for Trace from Aaron Being Normal (Won’t be extremely relevant until book 3 (also this was supposed to be a standalone...))

11. Miss Murder - AFI

Funky bass part 2

12. Fences - Paramore

Interlude again - A Selena Walton Theme Song.

13. The Sharpest Lives - My Chemical Romance

Interlude - A Morgan/Selena/Mostly Selena Theme. (Also, a banger)

14. Camisado - Panic! At The Disco

Interlude - How many hospital scenes can I fit into 1 WIP about depressed teens? (Turns out three; maybe four, technically)

15. My Heart I Surrender - I Prevail

Cole’s character song (Interlude) (Also romantic AF)

16. I Don’t Care - Fall Out Boy

Interlude. Also a Mood

17. Holiday/Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

Partially Interlude, partially because Holiday fucking slaps and BoBD is a classic

18. Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard

1/2 Interlude, 1/2 a Mood

19. I Don’t Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem) - Good Charlotte

Dare I say, an aro-ace mood?

20. Check Yes, Juliet - We The Kings

I feel like half this playlist is just gonna be songs from the Interlude playlist...

21. Problematique - Hot Chelle Rae

Some funky bass, call and response, and fast rhyming - an ultimate jam

22. Postcards - Amber Pacific

Interlude playlist

23. Nico and The Niners - Twenty One Pilots

Look, I just really like Trench; it’s a good album

24. Demolition Lovers - My Chemical Romance

This is on the Interlude playlist but there’s such a Bonnie and Clyde feel to it, man...

25. Do You Know What I’m Seeing? - Panic! At The Disco

No. I don’t. Good song to dissociate to, though. I’m not good at instruments but good guitar/ukulele/whatever it is. Pleasant mood.

26. Rough Hands - Alexisonfire

Look, I’m trying to learn how to properly sing unclean parts (screamo parts) which will be absolutely shocking coming from a 5′2″ blonde girl; I need songs to practice to...

27. The Irony of Choking on a Lifesaver - All Time Low

Theme song to the Netflix adaptation of Interlude that plays in my head on repeat. Now if only I could actually finish writing the goddamn book...

28. Fat Lip - Sum 41

Interlude playlist, also listen to it and tell me you don’t hate everybody and this town

29. Say Anything (Else) - Cartel

I like singing the intro/chorus as sort of a vocal warm up...

30. Oh Well, Oh Well - Mayday Parade

Just a fucking MOOD my dudes

31. Whatever Happened To Saturday Night? - Glee Cast Version

No offense to Meat Loaf....but John Stamos... (Also Interlude (Travis) inspo) (Also I was really into Glee again earlier this year... Still haven’t actually watched past season 3...)

32. The Anthem - Good Charlotte

What I listen to when I consider dropping out and becoming a bog witch, but, like, a punk bog witch

33. Thunder - Boys Like Girls

Aaron Being Normal Inspo. The band’s name is ironic considering how Gay I make it...

34. Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am? - Fall Out Boy

I like singing this one when I’m drunk

35. I Don’t Love You - My Chemical Romance

Blood Bound (Book 2)

36. This Is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco

Blood Bound (Book 3)

37. Silver Bullet - Hawthorne Heights

Interlude Playlist

38. Weightless - All Time Low

MAYBE IT’S NOT MY WEEKEND BUT IT’S GONNA BE MY YEAR I scream to myself on a Tuesday

39. Who Do You Love - Marianas Trench

Have you ever looked up an a capella version of this one? Cuz yeah

40. Let The Flames Begin - Paramore

Anti-Depression, yet still Depressed Mood

41. Red Sam - Flyleaf

Depression Mood - also Interlude playlist

42. Jamie All Over - Mayday Parade

Interlude Playlist, and I think the Dreavyn playlist too... Look, it’s just a jam

43. Savior - Rise Against

Interlude Theme

44. Kiss Me, Kill Me - Mest

Another Interlude thing also a really good Selena x Morgan song

45. Hot To The Touch, Cold On The Inside - Fall Out Boy

Aaron Being Normal song also it’s about a hot pocket

46. Newport Living - Cute is What We Aim For

Interlude song that causes drama

47. Meant To Live - Switchfoot

Selena song - Interlude

48. Kill All Your Friends - My Chemical Romance

This is on the Interlude playlist purely because I’m Evil

49. You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring

On the Interlude playlist, also highly recommend blaring this through the hallways of your Catholic High School during lunch

50. Lights And Sounds - Yellowcard

Interlude Playlist also a banger

51. Angel With A Shotgun - The Cab

If this ain’t romantic as shit... Also it will make you wanna declare war on God Himself what a Mood

52. Somebody Told Me - The Killers

I’m not justifying why The Killer’s is on here I’m just shocked and appalled that Mr. Brightside has yet to make an appearance Spotify

53. Alright - Hot Chelle Rae

The English major inside of me wants to correct it to “all right” also Interlude epilogue Mood.

54. Changing - Saosin

Interlude Playlist

55. Bring Me To Life (Synthesis) - Evanescence

The Synthesis version is far superior and allows me to Properly showcase my Amy Lee impression

56. Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bed - Fall Out Boy

Along with J. Michael Tatum, Patrick Stump’s voice is My Religion - the first 23 seconds > The Beatles

57. Pas De Cheval - Panic! At The Disco

Sounds gallop-y

58. Be My Escape - Relient K

Interlude Mood/Theme

59. Science Fiction Double Feature - Glee Cast

Look, all Rocky Horror versions are great, even the Glee one...

60. Dear Maria, Count Me In - All Time Low

I like to sing this one when drunk

61. Stand - Flyleaf

Blood Bound (Final Book. End. Roll credits.)

62. I’d Do Anything - Simple Plan

A jam

63. Sweetness - Jimmy Eat World

The call-response, the spastic drums, damn boi, they’ve got it all

64. Say You Like Me - We The Kings

Catchy song, little fuckboi-ish if you really listen to the lyrics, but it’s not Baby It’s Cold Outside-bad???

65. AMBULANCE - My Chemical Romance

*Choir Ah-ing*, also an Interlude mood considering there are like 2 separate confirmed ambulance parts anyway...

66. crushcrushcrush - Paramore

Look me dead in the eye and tell me Hayley Williams didn’t put everything into her lyrics/singing here

67. Stay - Mayday Parade

Songs for when you’re heartbroken but to the point of dissociating while it rains outside, starting to storm, it starts out with just the grey pattering of a sheet of raindrops and soon the thunder starts to rumble with growing intensity and lightning splits the sky

68. There’s A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven’t Thought Of It Yet - Panic! At The Disco

I am the victim of Dreavyn Hawthorne from my WIP Aaron Being Normal seriously if anyone can help me control a chaotic theatre bisexual...

69. Lyrical Lies - Cute is What We Aim For

This band’s lyrics are so fucking poetic it is Shakespeare to a guitar, y’all

70. Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - Fall Out Boy

I always get like a falling slowly down one of those psychedelic tubes greenscreened into the background feeling at the intro but just like totally at peace falling, like kinda like listening to Ride by 21P type mood but then the chorus comes and it’s a jam

71. Backseat Serenade - All Time Low

Just a banger

72. My Own Worst Enemy - Lit

Look I don’t party too hard but when I do we go hard I was at a party on a Thursday night that didn’t end until the next morning no shit one guy I know did a kegstand before going to his English class

73. Come As You Are - Nirvana

Damn Kurt we miss you but you turned out some jams that no one can match

74. Traitor - Flyleaf

Blood Bound (Book 3)

75. Sadie Hawkins Dance - Relient K

The lyrics are so stupid but damn I love it

76. Poetically Pathetic - Amber Pacific

Did you mean literally 90% of my male OCs?

77. Saviour - LIGHTS

The first LIGHTS song I ever heard and I will defend my favourite singer until the day I die she’s Canadian like me, her family is ADORABLE, SHE is ADORABLE and I love her the end

78. Jersey - Mayday Parade

This goes with every WIP I’ve ever conceived and literally none of them are set in Jersey

79. The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

I feel like this song is just a universal mood but no one can explain exactly why

80. C’mon - Panic! At The Disco

Wholesome(TM)

81. Sunshine Riptide - Fall Out Boy

Interlude Playlist - I imagine Morgan singing it and that might end up happening in canon but idk yet...

82. Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond

Easily in the top 3 Neil Diamond songs if not the top, fight me.

83. First Date - blink-182

Literally just such an adorable song, blink-182 is the best

84. Last Hope - Paramore

Mostly a Selena song (Interlude) but idk I’ve destroyed many OCs wills to live so

85. Black Sheep - Metric

@spotify please put the Brie Larson version from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World on your streaming service I’m begging you - a very gay

86. When You Were Young - The Killers

Good song, real jam, where’s Mr. Brightside, spotify, where is it????

87. Broken Hearts Parade - Good Charlotte

A certified bop

88. All I Want - A Day To Remember

A song for my greedier OCs who just want to stop being tortured but yknow what children life aint fair

89. The Kids From Yesterday - My Chemical Romance

Put this in any of my WIPs really...

90. Threshold - Sex Bob-Omb

Try to tell me the Scott Pilgrim vs. The World soundtrack isn’t lit

91. Sorrow - Flyleaf

Blood Bound (Book 3)

92. Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea - Fall Out Boy

You know when you’re writing intense battles or going to get a tattoo and need a playlist of War Songs? This is like the first one on my War Songs playlist

93. Jesus Of Suburbia - Green Day

A staple in the punk rock genre

94. Neon Gravestones - Twenty One Pilots

Ngl I sobbed when I first heard this one so

95. Pressure - Paramore

Very vocal on the Interlude playlist

96. Starlight - Muse

I first got into Muse because it fueled Twilight but yknow what they’re still a damn good group and Supermassive Black Hole carried the baseball scene which was an astounding piece of cinema so

97. Sleepless in Phoenix - blessthefall

It’s literally just my favourite blessthefall song, fight me

98. Kids In The Dark - All Time Low

My mood for when my dad tells me “you’re 20 you should be able to figure it out” like excuse me for not learning how the entire world works the second I turned 18...

99. Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time - Panic! At The Disco

Refer to My Own Worst Enemy. Add drugs. I’ve never done drugs but..

100. Feeling This - blink-182

*screams I’m Feeling This at regular intervals* (I have no explanation it’s just a BOP)

#music #spotify #spotify 2018 #top songs 2018 #playlist #spotify playlist

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jj-ktae · 6 years

Text

Fragrance XII : Accord

Title : Fragrances

Genre : Fluff, Angst, Romance

Pairing : Jaebum x Reader

Summary : You are a perfume composer, he is a lyricist, and while you’re left with too many possibilities, he is out of inspiration. Your only bond is an unknown fragrance. Second part of the Fragrances series.

Warning : Mentions of suicide. Don’t read if you’re uncomfortable with the subject please <3

- Teaser - Wisteria - Metallic - Sillage - Accord - Final -

Fragrance XII : Accord

An accord is a blend of two or more fragrances to create a new, completely different smell. We talk about accord, because it’s all about the way the fragrances go with each other. An accord means that two fragrances can go well together, no matter what their main pattern is and how different they can be.

It’s a quiet day. Jaebum loves these days. He likes having time for things. Peace is a motivation that never fails to amaze him.

But he is restless.

“They want to see you.” Youngjae has been eyeing him ever since he arrived this morning. Jaebum arrived with a face he knew too much.

“Why?” The latter only stirs on his chair, his back cracking deliciously.

“They didn’t say.” Youngjae shrugs and taps his back before throwing himself on the couch.

His day wasn’t that bad so far, but Jaebum feels something on his way to his manager’s office. The album is going well, Youngjae is glad with the result and he did quite good though.

“Ah, you’re already here.” The manager is busy when Jaebum enters the huge office.

He is talking with a girl, who seems young.

“Do you want me to come back later?” Jaebum tries but the manager is quick to stop him, motioning for him to enter.

“You came right on time. Meet Leni. She is a singer who is supposed to debut in 2 weeks.” The girl gets up and offers a hand, which Jaebum shake slightly.

He can see it coming.

“We need you to write her first song. It’s as simple as that.” The man readjusts his suit and goes to his office. He looks like he had the best idea ever.

Jaebum only tilts his head, before eyeing the young singer. She has a petite figure but her eyes are huge, expectant.

It’s the first time Jaebum doesn’t feel panicked by the idea of doing something different. Under any other circumstances he would have freaked out, his heart would go have gone crazy, just like his brain but now he simply nods, approaching the producer and smiling.

“Sure, I’ll do it. What concept would you like to go with?” Jaebum surprises himself by asking that. It isn’t like him to be this enthusiastic. The young singer smiles along, also waiting for the producer’s answer.

“Romantic. Love. I want her to become the nation’s new sweetheart. You can write about love, right? Not the gruesome, regretful type of love, the joyful, happy one.” The producer knows Jaebum and his pessimistic heart all too well and while it fits to Youngjae, he wants something new for his new protégé.

And Jaebum smirks, because he has a whole song totally ready.

“Got it.”

He turns around and leaves the office, not even noticing the way the singer’s eyes linger on him and rushes to work on the project.

Love.

---

Jackson doesn’t like this. He isn’t a professional when it comes to relationships, but he definitely knows something is strange.

And Jackson has a damn good idea about what it is.

It’s from the way you look at things. He thought he was being paranoid again, but no matter how much you try to reassure him, he knows. He knows you’re not okay.

Your eyes took a colour he knows too much. It’s not a bright and shiny colour like the one he treasures. Your eyes are dark, cloudy, like there’s a storm inside your head and you’re constantly fighting with it.

He doesn’t like it. He can live with a lot of things, but not with the probability of you not being happy. Jackson doesn’t care about his own happiness, and even though he should, he can’t be selfish. Jackson is not someone who can take away something for his own profit.

So when he knows you’re not fully happy dating him, he takes a decision.

It doesn’t break his heart like he thought it would. It doesn’t make him angry because he feels used. He doesn’t even raise his voice when he breaks up with you.

It’s like casual talk around a cup of coffee. He takes your hand because you cried in front of a movie -and you barely do that usually- and as he looks at you, he sees it.

Pain. Hidden sorrow, forced smiles.

“You don’t look happy.” Is the first thing he says. You blink at him because you don’t get it. How can you be okay when the puppy was killed at the end of the movie?

“You’re not your usual self.” He continues and you understand you were never this emotional before.

“Look, I know what you’re about to say-” you answer but you don’t even know what you’re about to say. You don’t want Jackson to feel bad because of you, you don’t want him to think you don’t want to be with him because you do want it.

But Jackson knows there’s something you want more than that. It goes beyond the affection you both have for each other.

It’s okay, he understands. He is fine with being friends with you if he can see you finally be happy.

But you’re so stubborn you’ll never admit you long for Jaebum’s presence.

“You don’t know what I’m about to say, silly.” He is extra careful because one word can break you and he doesn’t want that. “Listen to me, and listen to me well. You’re not happy dating me. As much as you want to believe it -and I appreciate that- you’re not. I get that you want to move on and be happy and no, I’m not mad at all.” Jackson takes a deep breath and you sniff loudly because hell, that puppy was so cute and he was killed.

“You don’t cry in front of movies. You don’t stay in bed for half of the day. You’re not that kind of person. You’re not someone who barely eats and walks like a zombie because she doesn’t sleep. You’re strong, you know what you want and I feel like right now, you don’t want this.” Jackson continues and doesn’t let you speak, because he needs you to understand.

“So yeah, we have fun, we go out, we make love, we do all these things people do in the movies, but deep down, you don’t want me. You don’t want to date Jackson Wang and you try so hard even your body rejects the idea.”

“But, no! It’s not what you think!” You try to stop him because you suddenly feel like shit. You did your best with him. You want to stay around him because he is security. Jackson is so strong he can fight for the both of you even when you’re down and you want to be with him.

“I get it. I’m not saying you’re staying with me because there’s no other choice. I’m saying you’re trying too hard and I don’t like it. I see the way your laugh fades, how you stare into space, the way you close your eyes whenever you smell something different. I’ll help you. I’ll be the one breaking up so you won’t have to feel guilty about it. I care about you a lot and I know you do too, but not like we should be. You mean a lot to me and I don’t want to lose you, but maybe, just maybe, we are not made for this” his hands move in the air, showing the room. “We’re not made to be together that way.”

You break down crying but Jackson smiles. He knows it’s not sorrow. It’s relief. You hug him tight and whisper sorry so many times it doesn’t make sense. Jackson laughs when you part “You look so bad.” He teases and doesn’t care when he wipes your nose with his fingers. “See the dedication? I’m full of your snot, silly.”

You cry all night and cling on him like he is your last hope. He tells you everything’s going to be alright and he will never leave your side. You answer that you love him like he is the best friend you’ll never have.

He tells you he will be and thanks you for the eight months of amazing relationship you both had.

It’s rather normal for you to feel like shit the day after, during lunch. Bambam and your boss want to celebrate your assistant’s success with his perfume sample and you’re so out of it that both of them don’t even dare to ask what’s wrong.

Bambam knows Jackson had to go to China again but doesn’t mention it. He knows too much about you to talk about it. No matter how much you triy to hide the situation, he gets it.

“It reminds me that, Y/N, you have to start a new project. I wanted to talk about it in a more official way but the brand apparently found a muse and would like to launch a perfume. Usually it’s the other way around, but it seems her company wants her to make it big quickly so they’re doing everything to put her under spotlight. We’ll both advertise each other, y’know.” It’s funny how she changed since you started working for her.

This woman has always been like that one teacher who is so strict you have no choice but to study. You laugh quietly to yourself when she blinks cutely at you and tell her how much you like her lipstick.

“Thank you.” She softens and elbows Bambam when you start sipping on your juice. “Is she sick?”

Bambam shrugs and leans close to her ear. “Lovesick.”

You pretend you didn’t hear them.

---

“Leni Lee? What parents would do this to their kid?” Bambam looks at the files before laughing, his now dark brown hair floating into the air.

“Your name is Bambam.” You roll your eyes at him from your spot on your office. You moved back to the company when it became unbearable to work at your own place. You took your own furniture and moved everything with you, pretending you were living too far from the company.

In reality, no amount of incense could make you forget about Jaebum’s odor. It’s too scary to handle.

“It’s my stage name. I have a real name, but you’ll laugh even more.” Bambam shrugs and laughs again.

He is definitely and absolutely crazy.

“Leni Lee is a romantic young adult with hopes for the world. Her dream is to heal everything with her lulling voice and calm everyone’s pain with her insightful positivity. Her favorite color is white because it reminds her of the clouds and she likes playing the ukulele.”

Bambam stops reading and bursts out laughing. “She’s gonna heal the world with a ukulele. And here I thought we were ambitious.” He mocks before shaking his head. “That would be funny if she turns out to be a little devil.”

You nod and open another sample. “Devils don’t play the ukulele.”

Bambam does finger guns’ gestures before reading the rest of the singer’s introduction.

You have to meet with her in less than an hour and you’re not even half ready. You need a thousand more samples to show her and Bambam is only laughing and dabbing. At some point, you decide to change your tactic.

“Let’s not prepare anything. We’ll just talk with her and figure it out from that point.”

Bambam stops to open his mouth, shocked. “Yeah you do that. I’m incapable of doing that.”

“Well, try doing it.” You threaten and lift a brow. “You want to be a perfumer, right? We’ll talk to her and you’ll tell me what you see in her. What would suit her, what would suit her and that damn romantic perfume they want us to make, got it?”

Bambam sighs and nods, getting up. “Yes, boss.”

He loves when you’re fierce.

“You ready?” You get up and stretch, “let’s go meet that ukulele devil.”

Bambam agrees and follows. It takes five minutes to go to the meeting room. Five minutes of Bambam chatting and making incomprehensible jokes. Five minutes of quiet steps on fluffy carpeting.

It takes less than a second for you to freeze though. The singer is here, in her bright white laced dress. Her bow is neat on her wavy hair, her makeup is perfect, her face is doll-like.

You wonder how you notice all this when you can only see Jaebum, sitting leisurely and looking around the room. The meeting room has no real walls and only thick glass to give privacy.

Bambam bumps into you when you stop walking, peeking from behind your shoulder. “Oh. OH.” He whispers, not getting why the hell was Defsoul in the meeting room. “Emergency.” He breathes.

“You go.” Panic takes over you before your brain can stop you and you walk away. Jaebum didn’t see you, you can go away and let Bambam handle this. “Record this, I don’t know. Handle this. Please.” Your voice sounds so desperate suddenly, and Bambam almost agrees, but luck is not on your side.

“You’re here! I’m going to tag along. I got curious.” Your boss’ heels are too loud to be ignored and when you peek again, you instantly see Jaebum, looking into your direction. “Come on in, Y/N!” She is too cheerful, too pleased by the situation. Bambam looks worried when you sigh, your back still facing the dangerous scene.

“I can do the talk.” Bambam suddenly looks adorable, with his caring face and shiny, plump lips.

“It’s okay. I’ll just, bear it.” You turn around so fast the earth spins but you’re too busy shaking to notice it and you enter the room like a robot, facing the singer who is already smiling at you.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Leni Lee!” She bows so many times you lose count of it but you simply focus on her floating dress, deliberately ignoring Jaebum who you know is already staring at you.

“I’m Y/N, I’ll be creating your perfume, along with Bambam, my assistant.” You’re glad your boss claps her hands before you have to greet Jaebum and turn around, taking a seat far from the quartet and opening your notebook. Jaebum bows at your boss and shakes hands with Bambam, sitting down next to the singer.

Bambam looks at your boss and she magically stays silent, before lifting a brow at Jaebum. “We will now begin,” she coughs and sits next to you, gently patting your thigh under the table. “How about you tell me more about you?”

You don’t know what is going on. You don’t even listen to the singer, mind clouded by the feeling of Jaebum’s scent.

It hurts from every pore, like you got a shot of a drug you thought you quit. Jaebum stares at you, doesn’t stop looking, not even when you bite your lip in frustration.

You draw patterns on your notebook, pretending to be concentrated because that’s what creative people do.

“So you’ve got a song ready? Already?” Bambam’s voice makes you snap up while the young girl takes her phone from her purse.

“yes, I have Jaebum’s cover of the song as we have yet to record it. It’s an acoustic version.”

You tilt your head. Jaebum?

Jaebum stays silent, merely smiling at your boss and embarrassed by the sudden display of his unfinished work.

He speaks for the first time because he doesn’t trust the girl on this. This song is everything but a business to him. “The name is Unfold me. It’s a love song. It depicts the romantic feelings of a person for someone who has yet to discover them. It’s a confession. An open letter to a loved one. A plea to discover honest feelings. It suits the image of a soft and romantic girl who has yet to confess to a boy because she isn’t what he thinks she is. It uses metaphors and imagery to show the importance of honesty.”

You don’t look at him. From beginning to end, you don’t want to listen. He talks about love like he knows it and it makes you want to laugh out loud.

He knows nothing about love. He bullshits around the place and it makes you so mad.

“That’s...great.” Your boss open her mouth, thoughtful. “Shall we listen to it?”

You want to be deaf. You can’t listen to Jaebum singing I love you and I miss you and I need you and please let me show you how wonderful love is with you.

Bambam is very, very uncomfortable, suddenly.

At the end of the song, only your boss claps, whistling. “That’s what I call adoration, Defsoul.” She nudges you and you don’t want to lift your head but do it nonetheless. “What do you think?”

You look at the singer, then at Jaebum.

He looks expectant.

“It’s cool. As for the perfume’s concept...” You start and your boss sighs, while Bambam coughs, trying to change the subject.

“How about a fruity scent?” he proposes, “Peaches and Blueberries. Do you like fruity scents?”

The singer nods, her smile wider than the sun. “yes! I like soft notes. I love vanilla!”

You bite your lip, Vanilla, how original.

“Great! From what you told us, you might want the perfume to recreate the feeling of first-love, right? We can work on fruity scents and add a bit of gourmand. It gives a fresh feeling! Caramel touches and... roasted nuts?” Bambam begs you to agree on whatever he says so you can all go and you nod, not because you want to go but because it’s brilliant.

“That sounds lovely!” Leni gets up and bows as a sign of appreciation, while Jaebum smiles at her like she is a kid.

You don’t get what he is doing here.

You hide back to your world when your boss explains how things are going to go, and an hour later, you’re breathing heavily, head over the glass office.

“You okay?” Bambam pats your back and you nod, taking in the feeling of the fresh glass on your burning face.

“Perfect. My life is perfect; can’t you see it?” You laugh bitterly.

You never thought it’d be this hard to meet him again after so long. You never thought it’d hurt so much to smell his scent again.

You most certainly didn’t expect to feel your heart beat so fast it was about to explode.

And oh, don’t you love this Im Jaebum boy.

“Not coming?” Bambam urges, taking the files and sorting folders.

You don’t want to tell him you can’t get away from the lingering scent of Jaebum’s devastating existence.

---

“He met her!” Youngjae is so loud that Jinyoung almost hits the back of his head. “How did it go? Come on, tell us!” “Nothing happened. She hates me, what did you expect?” Jaebum eats more of his sandwich, rolling his eyes at his stupid friend who is wriggling his eyebrows at him.

“The question is, did you feel something?” Jinyoung crosses his legs on the couch, a fry hanging between his pursed lips.

“Don’t make me say it. I swore I’d never talk about her again.”

Jinyoung sighs loudly before grunting. “Don’t make me ask again, Jaebumie.”

Youngjae claps his hands and probes him “You heard him. Don’t make us ask again” he takes the same cold voice and furrows his brows in a not so scary manner.

“What do you want to hear? That I still love her? Is that even a surprise? Yes, okay. I still love her. I never stopped, I can’t get her out of my head, I dream of her, I imagine her every day. Do you feel better? Because it’s actually not a good feeling for me.” Jaebum feels grumpy. Seeing you woke all the feelings he was desperately trying to erase. He doesn’t like the way you ignore him like he is nothing, and hates how he had to expose his ass with a love song, right in front of you.

Jinyoung gives him a thumb up. “Great news! You’ll see her again, right? For whatever you guys have to work on together.”

Jaebum shakes his head, “No, I just went with Leni because she was scared of going alone and her manager couldn’t go. I’m not planning on going again.”

“You are so stupid. You both are so stubborn.”

“She is dating! Listen, I appreciate the attention, but there’s nothing we can do. I wished I had a formula to make her realize that I’m really miserable but there is not solution.” Jaebum feels bad talking about it.

What good is there talking about this when it’s all doomed?

“There goes fatalistic Jaebum again,” Jinyoung whispers to Youngjae who nods, eyeing Jaebum cautiously. “You never met this one, right?”

When Youngjae shakes his head, Jaebum laughs, surprising them both.

“I don’t know why I’m friends with you two.”

“it’s his birthday. His birthday.” Bambam insists but you shake your head.

There’s no way you’ll go to Choi Youngjae’s birthday.

“Jackson, do something!” Bambam stops whatever he is doing in the kitchen to walk back into the living-room.

You’re resting next to a judging Jackson, who’s quick to agree with your assistant.

“It’s a Venice themed party. You can still hide behind these huge ass domino masks. Don’t be a baby, Y/N.”

You look at Jackson, bewildered. “A baby?”

“Yes. I’m sure you can stand in the same room as him. He won’t eat you. I’ll go, too!” Jackson adds. “If anything fishy happens, I’ll take you out of there. Just have fun because I’m this close to throw you in the nearest night-club until you wipe that damn sorrowful expression off of your face.”

Jackson sure is extreme.

“Never. I’ll never go.”

“You came!” The words you said echo in your head as a cheerful Youngjae greets you behind an otter mask. You went. You’re here, with Bambam and Jackson, standing by Youngjae’s door.

“Where is that Venice you told me about?” Bambam is glorious behind that deep red mask, covered in roses and designed by Jackson himself because Ateliers Wang don’t tolerate fashion faux-pas.

“Jinyoung told me that since I am the master of ceremony, I shall stand out. They forced it on me.” Youngjae laughs and Jackson follows, his black leather mask a bit too tendentious.

You all look ridiculous.

“It’s all Italian dishes. Drinks are over there, there’s a waitress in case you need something.” Youngjae sees you all looking at him so he smiles shyly, “This is Jinyoung’s idea, too.”

“That guy is damn tacky.” Jackson whistles when he notices the room, decorated with so many furniture while a music reminds you of some old soap opera.

“Non dimenticar is the name of the song. I didn’t want this but Jin-”

“What do you know about Italian music anyways.” A deep voice cuts him and a man appears from between the bodies. His tuxedo is way too shiny and his mask has shades of deep blue.

He bents to grab your hand and you blink before giving it to him.

He only shakes it though. “I won’t kiss it. I care about my life.” He grins when you don’t understand and adds. “We met already, I believe.” You see the hint of a wink from behind the mask and turn to look at Bambam, who whispers.

“Defsoul’s friend.”

You bow immediately. “I didn’t- You know, the masks.” You laugh stupidly, already grabbing Jackson’s arm for support because you heard the word Defsoul already and you’ve been only here for five minutes.

Jinyoung laughs and it surprises you because it doesn’t suit his appearance. “Just thought it’d be fun. I missed my trip to Italy because of this birthday.”

Youngjae makes a face when Jinyoung’s hand circle his neck. “He likes it, right? You like it?” His tone is already menacing and Youngjae wails, walking away to greet the other guests.

“He is so shy.”

Bambam laughs and taps Jinyoung’s shoulder, “You’re funny, man!” He walks away to greet other guest, mimicking gondolier gestures and dabbing to the beat.

A man stops to talk into Jinyoung’s ear, handing him a cell phone. “Suit yourself! I’ll talk to you later!”

“I’m exhausted already.” You whisper to Jackson who taps your hand, giggling.

“Relax! You’re so tensed. Don’t faint now, we just came.” He teases, taking you to the buffet and forcing food into your mouth.

It’s a pleasing party, you have to admit. Everyone is so chilled and the music makes it easier to think.

You don’t look around too much in fear of meeting Jaebum. Your eyes are glued to Jackson who raises his brows at you from time to time.

You end up dancing with him and he turns you around in the middle of nothing because you’re the only two people really dancing.

It’s feels incredibly good not to care.

“You really have to relax.” He whispers in your ear when you’re both close enough and you pinch his side playfully.

“Less relaxed, definitely less relaxed.” He yelps before Bambam appears, shaking his head incoherently.

“You two are having fun! I see you dancing!” He makes a face so dumb you can even see from behind his mask.

“Yes but I need to pee.” Jackson cuts the mood, a glass of Campari already back in his hands.

“Oh, it’s this way, I’ll show you.” Bambam takes his friend by the hand but you stop them.

“I’ll go with you.” You feel anxious. Last time someone left you alone at Youngjae’s party, it didn’t end well.

They only nod. “Sure, tag along.”

You see so many beautiful people, and you’re almost sure you recognize Leni stunning in a purple costume.

When the bathroom door’s opens Jackson rushes inside. Bambam talks with a girl who seems to love the roses on his mask and you laugh when your assistant tries to get away from her grip.

“I’ll just grab some food.” He explains and you nod, glancing at your hands. So far everything is fine. People are cool, the food is tasty, the cocktails are nice.

It’s great. Why did you even refused to go when Bambam asked-

You lift your head at the odour. It’s subtle but here, mixed with everyone’s else fragrances. You smell it, but when you look around, there is no Jaebum, no matter how much you stare at people’s face.

This one is too small, this one a bit too built, the other dances too much to be him. He is nowhere.

You walk back to lean against the wall and the odour gets stronger. It’s like a spell, and you hate it.

You almost fall when the wall moves, and you soon realize it’s actually a door.

And right now, against all your brain’s alerts, against everything you thought you’d be doing, you push it open, forgetting about the locker being opened in the bathroom, forgetting about Bambam who is coming back with too much food.

It’s too peaceful and the scent is too pleasing, inside.

You close it and behind you there’s nothing but a huge living-room, with a computer on the table and papers scattered around it.

“The party is in the main hall.” The voice startles you, not because you recognize Jaebum, but because it is cracking. You honestly don’t know what to say. All your previous promises to yourself are suddenly gone and there’s only Jaebum, back facing you.

“Did you hear what I just said?” Jaebum turns around because he needs privacy right now, and whoever thought it would be good to invade his personal space shall be beaten.

He doesn’t want to deal with anything.

“Can you please leave?” He asks and you realize he didn’t recognize you.

It’s a good gateway. You can simply go out and pretend you’re not you. You can walk away and everything will be over.

But your feet are frozen. Jaebum’s mask is pure white, with dark eyes.

And there’s a single black tear. Awful on the glossy material.

“Excuse me...?” Jaebum approaches you because you look stupid, right now.

“So- Sorry. I’ll head out.” You blurt and bite your lip when you realize your voice can actually give you out.

Which happens because Jaebum talks before you can grab the doorknob.

“Wait.”

You don’t know why you wait. It’s not like he has any right to stop you.

Or does he?

“...Y/N?” His voice is a tone higher, and you can feel the hope. It hurts because he sounds like a kicked puppy.

“I’ll just head out, sorry for intruding.”

“No, No. I didn’t recognize you.” You hear him laugh timidly and see the mask tilt, like he is analysing the situation. “You came.”

He knows you came. This is exactly why he is locked in here. He never thought he’d go through such anxiety again, but when Jinyoung told him you were here, with your boyfriend, he disappeared.

“Yes.” You simply say, before reaching for the doorknob again.

“No. Just. No. Please.” Jaebum is way too calm, you can hear the panic so evident you’re scared he might collapse any minute.

“You’re not joining...?” You try. He acts like the Jaebum you know, the one who flies away to do horrible things to himself.

“Oh, no, I was, hum, thinking.” He tries to save the situation but he knows he is sniffing too loudly.

“About...?” You want to know. You need to know how he is feeling.

You saw too much of him falling apart to leave him alone, no matter how mad you are and how much you want to hate him.

“A lot of things, actually.” He laughs and sniffs again. He feels stupid, you can feel it.

“Can I... Go? You don’t seem to feel well.” You don’t want to go. Not at all.

Not when Jaebum is in such deep sorrow.

“Oh, I’m okay!” Jaebum lifts a clothed hand, touching his black and white hat. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine.” It doesn’t have anything to do with you anymore but hell. Hell with everything.

“I’m not fine.” He confirms, taking you aback. “I’m close to do something I shouldn’t be doing.” His tone is too calm, way too calm. You don’t like this at all.

“Do you need...help?” You start playing with your fingers, stress hidden by your mask.

“You don’t want to help.”

“So why do you want me to stay?” You retort. Is he going to shut you down like he always did? Really?

“I... don’t know. I don’t know!” He rips the mask away and you finally meet his bloodshot eyes, swollen. “I’ll just, deal with it myself.” He walks away and stops by the table, leaning against the chair. “It hurts. I hate that I was able to get rid of all my pain, only to find more on my way back.”

“Why is that?” You’re scared of his answer.

“Why?” he snickers bitterly, turning around, “Do you even want to know why?” His eyes are so deep, so dark, to intense.

You’re so happy your own face is hidden, right now. “Yes.”

Jaebum lifts a brow and nods. “Alright, I’ll tell you.” He walks around the room and when he is close enough to you, he stops.

You look at him, and you don’t want to admit you’re actually shaking.

“I met this girl. She has a job, a flat, and she saw me once, when I was about to kill myself. She took me in and we sort of lived together for a while, but because I was a mess I did all the wrong things. It started from being an ass to taking advantage of her love. She has this amazing attraction over me, because apparently, the only thing special about my glorious being is my scent. Nonetheless, she helped me, the listened to me, she did everything she could. I disappeared the morning after I confessed, because I was scared of breaking her with my suicidal thoughts. So I did my best to heal. I tried to kill myself two times in the process, I fought with my parents, I didn’t see my best friend for a year.”

He stops because he wants to cry but coughs, holding it in.

“I came back a better person, I cleaned the mess in my life, I connected the right dots and finally, I could yell to everyone how good of a person I had become. It felt good, really good to laugh genuinely, to see the peaceful faces of my friends and family. But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough because I wanted to be with her, but she started to hate me and she still does.”

You gulp silently.

“Eventually I confessed again, I tried, I did everything I could because I thought she would understand that I needed her in my life. I thought she would understand that even though I made a mistake, it was ever my intention to hurt her. I was selfish for once, once in my life, and it cost me something so big I can’t even live with it now. And then, she told me that my mere presence was enough to hurt her. She said that. Like I was some plague. Maybe I’m a plague, maybe everything I did was for nothing because at the end of the day, I still want to jump every fucking bridge or window I see.”

He laughs and he is almost scary.

“But I won’t do it. Now I’m locked and I have to deal with it when I’m almost sure I did nothing wrong. If only she could just hear me out and believe me. If only she could just listen to me for once and let me pour it all out. Is that too much to ask? Am I so repulsive that even the air I breathe is poisoned? Does she hate me so much?”

You feel a tear fall and try to rub it off your face, but you only meet your mask and decide not to embarrass yourself more.

“She does. I know she does. And now, I, again, have to bear with things I can’t even control. I can’t control the fact that I love her. It’s not like I can stop just because I said I would! I can’t, I’m sorry, I can’t. Well, she is even dating now so I can only watch her be happy. I’m fine with it. If she is happy than I shall be happy, right? So, why is it that I’m not? Can you tell me? Why?”

Jaebum seems so confused. Like everything is slipping from between his fingers.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know how I ended like this. I even wrote a love song for her like the fool I am. It might even end up in an awful ukulele song. Who use a ukulele in 2018?”

At some point, you snort even though the situation is not funny.

“I just love her so much I can’t handle it. She is and will always be the most important person in my life, because she loved me in my worst state, she accepted me and took me in. She hugged me to sleep, kissed me, held me, listened to my sorrow. How am I supposed to live without this now? I love Youngjae but, I won’t hug him to sleep. He snores anyways. Yes. I tried to hug him. I’m so ridiculous.”

“Are you done?” He looks so offended when you say that.

“Yes. Sorry. I’m done.” He wipes his face and smiles, but it looks so fake.

“No matter how much you think I hate you, I told you right? You can come to me whenever you feel like doing something bad.”

Jaebum is taken aback by the answer, and makes a face. “Well, last time I came to you, it didn’t go well.”

“I’m sorry.” You say. You want to cry because he is so beautiful and smells so good and said all these things about how he can’t live without you when you thought he didn’t care at all. “I thought you didn’t love me. You acted like you didn’t.”

Jaebum is apparently not about to buy your shit. “I don’t care. I’m telling you, right now, in a Pierrot costume and looking ridiculous, that I’m very, very much in love with you.��

“What do you think you-”

“I know! I know all this, you told me so many times already. It’s done, I can do nothing about that. This talk is useless anyways. Your boyfriend must be looking for you everywhere.” Jaebum knows you so well. He can even predict that you’re about to blame him.

“Jackson broke up with me. Because of you.” You announce.

Jaebum looks even more scared. “No no, there’s no reason to. Is he stupid or what?”

“There is a reason, Jaebum. There’s a reason why I’m standing here listening to you, there’s a reason why I’m not running away, and there’s a reason why I’m telling you I’m single.”

“Why is that?” Jaebum doesn’t want to get his hopes up and even takes a few steps back, frightened by the sudden plot twist.

“Do you even want to know why?” You repeat the same question he asked and he nods, his hat moving along with him.

“Yes.”

It’s about a boy I’m in love with. He has an amazing smell, and at first I didn’t want to let it get to me, but I ended-”

Jaebum walks so fast you don’t even see him approach and he doesn’t even kiss you.

He just hugs you. “It’s going to be too long for me to pay attention. Just, go straight to the point. Don’t be like me.”

You can barely breathe because his scent invades you so much it makes you want to faint, but you hug him back, your mask still glued to your face.

“It’s a story about me being in love with you. Pity you don’t want to hear it.” You mock but lose your smile when Jaebum parts from you to look at your covered face.

You grab your mask and pull it away. “We do look ridiculous, I knew it.”

He laughs and says nothing. He laughs again and again, and you feel his trembling body like he is being shot by electricity.

You don’t know why he doesn’t move, expecting a rather heated kiss.

Jaebum reads your mind well, though. “It needs to be done well.”

“Just one! We did worse.” You mumble, rolling your eyes.

“God, I love you so much.” He grabs your face and his lips land so softly you’re the one pushing against him. It’s not different from the last kiss you shared, but it feels like a discovery. Jaebum presses hot kisses everywhere he can reach, mumbling about how he can’t believe it and how much he loves you and how much he wants to leave this party with you.

You tell him you don’t mind and grab his hand, sprinting into the main hall and ignoring Bambam’s shocked face.

That night, you’re the one hugging Jaebum to sleep in your bed.

And for the first time ever since you met him, you understand.

He smells like completeness.

An : There will be an epilogue because at some point we all need a bit of fluff ;)

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lets-idont-even-know · 7 years

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1-100

1. What are your hobbies?-Working out, playing video games, playing ukulele2. If you could have dinner with any 3 living or dead people, who would they be and why?-Selena Gomez, cuz god damn I want to meet her so badly. Lauren Sanderson for the same reason. And Lisa Kudrow because l love friends and I wanna hear all about it from her3. What makes you laugh?-Comedians and children falling4. What was the last good thing that happened to you?-I got my internship in San Diego for the summer5. What is your biggest goal?-To marry the woman of my dreams and be financially stable and happy 6. What do you think is the meaning of life?-To make the most out of it, however you can7. Do you believe in an afterlife?-Yes8. Do you have any pet peeves?-Semi trucks passing each other, asking for advice but completely disregarding it, and having your read receipts off (which Faith has hers off and it bugs the living shit out of me 🙃)9. What do you like to do on the weekends?-Ummm when I'm at home I do the same thing I do all week and play video games. But when I'm at school I go to parties and do my homework during the day 10. What was your favorite TV show growing up?-Wizards of Waverly Place11. What is your favorite TV show now?-FRIENDS12. What are your favorite movies?-Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Hurt Locker13. Tell me one surprising fact about you.-I'm not really surprising, what you see is pretty much what you get14. What do you look for in a significant other?-Someone who understands sacrifice, someone who is kind, someone who is understanding, someone who will reciprocate all of the love I show them, and someone who will always do whatever they can to pick me up when I'm down. 15. What were you like as a child?-Really really angry because I was in the closet for 10 years and wasn't happy with my life at all16. What are some things on your bucket list?-To go skydiving, meet Selena Gomez, get married to the woman of my dreams, have children17. Who has had the biggest influence on your life?-Honestly, I can't pin that down to one person. There's a couple people who have had a definite influence on who I am today 18. Do you have any pets or have you ever owned any?-I have a dog19. Talk about a challenge you had recently and how you overcame it or how you plan to.-I was struggling really hard to get an internship and it seemed like every place I applied just wasn't interested or I couldn't do it and I finally just kept at it and found the perfect opportunity 20. If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what song would you choose and why?-Anyone by Lauren Sanderson21. Talk about a favorite childhood memory.-the day we got our dog. We got him when he was a couple weeks old and he was such a little cutie and I remember how happy having him made me 22. What is your favorite commercial?-I hate commercials 23. If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be and why?-Stop being angry, your time will come. Just let yourself be happy and you'll come out when you can and you'll be accepted24. If you were stuck on a deserted island and could only bring one thing, what would it be?-My girlfriend 25. Who is your celebrity crush?-Selena Gomez26. Who is your favorite musical artist?-SELENA GOMEZ AND LAUREN SANDERSON27. What is your favorite music genre?-Pop28. What is your favorite color?-Purple29. What would you do if you won a million dollars?-Move Faith here, get her anything she wants, and take care of my parents 30. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?-Flying31. What is your dream vacation?-An Italian Villa with the girl I love 32. What actor or actress would star as you in a movie about your life?-Selena Gomez pretty please33. Where did you grow up?-Central Indiana34. If you could trade lives with anyone else for one day, who would you trade with?-Lauren Sanderson35. What is your favorite book?-Jerk, California 36. Who is your favorite author?-Don't have one 37. Who do you look up to?-Selena Gomez, Lauren Sanderson, Demi Lovato38. What is your favorite food ever?-Mashed potatoes 39. Are you a picky eater?-Kind of 40. Drunken story time! Go!-This one time literally a couple weeks ago, I was really fucking drunk at a party across the street from campus. Well it started storming really really badly and I wasn't about to get in the car with my drunk friend. So I decided to sprint across campus back to my dorm. I got across the street and sprinted all the way to the main building, stood under the awning for like a minute, ran to another building and stood under the awning. Then, while having an asthma attack and trying not to get struck by lighting while completely hammered, I took off my hat and wasn't gonna stop running until I got back to my dorm building. It was still a solid 5 minute run. So I took off. I got to the building and was dripping wet. Like I just got out of the shower with all of my clothes on. And my asthma was killing me BUT I didn't throw up!41. What beverage do you consume most often?-Pepsi 42. What is the first thing you wash in the shower?-My hair 43. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?-Absolutely. I'll be kissin her soon 44. How are you feeling right now?-tired but happy and at peace45. Do you plan out your outfits?-Sometimes46. What is the closest red item to you?-my PS4 controller has a red Nike covering on it47. Talk about the last dream you remember having.-It was my dream where Donald Trump stole my puppies, I'll reblog it48. Do you love yourself?-Much more than I used to 49. When was the last time you cried and why?-3 weeks ago I think 50. Have you ever met a celebrity?-Unfortunately no 51. Have you ever been to a concert?-Yes52. What are you listening to right now?-Kodaline53. Have you ever flown in an airplane?-Yeahhh54. What is the craziest thing you've ever done?-I don't do too many crazy things but the craziest thing I guess I've ever done is borrow my friend's car to go meet my ex girlfriend who lived in Iowa and I couldn't use my debit card or they'd know and I ended up using it in Indiana for has a couple times and had to lie but yeah it was pretty crazy for me. I don't do crazy things 55. Are your parents or guardians strict?-Yeah kind of 56. Did you have a good childhood?-My childhood wasn't happy but my parents did the best they could for me so I guess so. Some people don't get that lucky so I'm appreciative 57. Have you ever been in love?-A couple times 58. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?-Depends 59. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life ever apologize?-No and I don't expect them to 60. What are some of your turn-ons?-Neck kissing, aggression, wondering hands, ear biting61. What are some of your turn-offs?-Skipping foreplay, not listening to what I say I want 62. Would you go skydiving?-Yes63. What are you thinking about right now?-How happy Faith makes me 64. Do you ever rent movies?-Sometimes65. Do you ever illegally download entertainment such as music, movies, etc.?-No66. What is your zodiac sign?-Gemini67. Do you believe in karma or predestiny?-Yeah 68. Is there anything you want to say to anyone right now?-Yeah69. Would you rather live a shorter life but be wealthy or live a longer life and struggle financially?-Wealthy 70. What is your stance on abortion?-Pro choice my dude71. Do you believe in ghosts?-ABSOLUTELY72. Who do you admire and why?-Lauren Sanderson because she never stops going after exactly what she wants and she doesn't settle for anything less than her dreams and she puts in all the hard work to get where she wants to be73. What was your worst experience while under the influence of drugs or alcohol?-I punched a wall at a party once 74. Have you ever had a near-death experience?-Yeah probably75. What do you daydream about?-I don't daydream76. Where do you want to live after retirement?-I don't know77. What would you change your first name to?-I wouldn't 78. If you believe in a God or Higher Power, what one question would you want to ask Him or Her?-why do you let your children suffer with illnesses like cancer and allowing some to be so unhappy they feel like suicide is their only option 79. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic?-I'm a lot more optimistic these days80. Are you more introverted or extroverted?-Introverted 81. What is your dream profession?-Acting, honestly 82. What do you worry about most?-My future and if im going to succeed 83. When was the last time you tried something new and what was it?-I honestly don't know 84. Who do you compare yourself to?-Nobody anymore85. What excites you about life?-Having the opportunity to love the girl that I do86. What five words would you use to describe your personality?-Funny, quiet, geek, weird, interesting87. What is one life lesson you learned the hard way?-sometimes things happen and you may not think it's for the best and it may be excruciating to go through, but you'll come out better at the end 88. What belief do you have that many people disagree with?-I don't know 89. If not now, then when?-What?90. Is it possible to lie without saying a word?-Yes91. What activities make you lose track of time?-Talking to Faith 92. If you had to teach an academic subject, what subject would you want to teach?-History93. What is your biggest regret?-I don't have regrets honestly 94. What will matter most to you when you're 80 years old?-If I was happy95. Are you a messy person or a clean person?-Eh a little of both 96. Are you a perfectionist?-Definitely not 97. How tall are you?-5'798. What is your guilty pleasure?-I don't have one 99. Do you prefer sweet or salty?-Sweet100. What is your favorite social media website?-Tumblr

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indigomez · 5 years

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Mini-Series #2

Taglist!: @drakesfiance @whiny-the-poo-bear @underoos-shield @spidervveb@just4muggles @hollandxvoid @themarauderstheoutsidersandpeggy@twilightparker @ukulele-tea-and-ocean @harryshollands @wronglanemendes@dylshoney

Masterlist! Submit A Post! Request! Permanent Taglist! Mini-Series Taglist!

A/N: Okay, lmao only one person asked for a part two so I’ ma do it! Until someone gives me a marvel ( or non-Marvel) Request! :)

Summary: When a New York kid moves to a small countryside, surfing vibe town. He meets a crazy group of ragtag ragamuffins that work at the local convenience store.

It's been only two days since Jullian's freakout over the new kid. But hearing all the assumptions about him has me a little skeptical, though... They are just rumors... I hope.

I opened the door, hearing the familiar ring as I pressed the alarm pin code. Looking at the shop before it gets destroyed by the students, tourists and the surfers. Finally. Some damn peace and quiet before the other's get here. I huffed as I threw my bag in the backroom before walking down the soup aisle to the store counter. I grabbed the clipboard and pen, humming to myself as the overhead speaker softly played Groove is in the heart.

"I hate inventory... Charlie was supposed to do this two days ago!" I hissed, grumbling to myself as I walked around the shop, "Stupid freckled freak... Can't do shit." I muttered under my breath. I bit my lip as I continued walking around the store, listing off the inventory, marking down items and remarking lost and misplaced tags.

"Marseille!" I flinched, "What!?" I called back. Walking towards the front as I saw Jullian. "Where's everyone else?" He asked, grabbing his uniform t-shirt. "You know, probably tearing their girlfriends a new one." I chuckled. Placing the board down onto the counter.

Sean's POV

"What's this place Jullian?" I asked, hopping out of his car as he sighed. "Well, you said you were asking for work. So, why not work with me?" He smiled, I shrugged my shoulders. I looked up at the shop, reading the fluorescent letters on top of the store. We both walked into the store, It was old but charming. "Marseille!" He called. "What!?" Came from the back, I watched quietly as he hopped onto the counter, throwing on his uniform shirt.

"Where's everyone else?" He asked, I fiddled with the end of my jacket as I heard footsteps approaching. "You know, probably tearing their girlfriends a new one." She chuckled, I looked up.

And Damn...

She... She was, really short. Her skin was a warm chocolate color, but with the sun on her skin made her look even better. "Hi, I'm-" She turned around and continued talking to Jullian, all of a sudden I was invisible... I mean, I understand. She probably has a boyfriend. But damn he's lucky, I mean. Look at her.

"Charlie was supposed to do inventory two days ago can you believe that cow?" She hissed, I walked over to her. Holding out my hand. "I'm Sean Mar-" Again, walking past me. When she walked past me, I could smell the sweet scent of roses and vanilla, I couldn't help but stare at her when she walked past me, I just wanted to hold her. She's so TINY.

"We have a ship coming in, in an hour and I need some type of muscle here-"

"Hey!!" Jullian hissed, she laughed. Ohh fuck her laugh. I smiled as she continued talking to Jullian. "Oh shit, Erin's got a football game today, he was supposed to help with the load in." She whined, throwing her head back. "I-I could help." I rose my hand. She looked at me.

Oh fuck- "Who's he?" She pointed at me. "I'm S-"

"The new kid from New York I was telling you about." I huffed, getting interrupted seems to be the norm in this place.

"Oh hey, you go to our school huh?" She asked, walking up to me. I smiled, holding out my hand. "Names Marseille. Nice to meet you Sean." She grabbed my hand, shaking it lightly.

"N-Nice to meet you t-"

"He's looking for a job!" Jullian stated while walking to the back. She looked up at me, rolling her eyes as she let go. "Well, let's see how this works out... Damn it Jullian what did I tell you!" She screamed. I looked at my hand, my heart racing as I held it to my chest.

"The shipment's coming in an hour, and I just finished inventory." She stated, shuffling stuff from under the counter as Jullian started tapping with the cash register. She disappeared into the counter, I walked over shyly. "C-Can I help?" I asked, leaning over the counter. She stood up straight, she looked into my eyes. Our faces only inches apart. Huffing as she walked the other way. "I guess you can." I walked over the counter, ignoring the look on Julian's face as I walked over to Marseille.

"Alright, uh. Here start with these. These go into the back where the fridges are." She grunted, handing me the large box of glass sodas. But before I could walk away with them. The bottom of the box collapsed, causing all the glass and soda's to fall onto the floor.

Jullian laughed as we all stood there in pure shock. "Damn Sean. You're bad luck!" I sighed, hiding my red face as she looked around for the broom and mop. "Who spilled the window cleaner? Who cleaned up last?" Jullian stopped laughing as she looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He shrugged as he continued counting the register.

"I-I am so sorry- I can clean it up-"

"Nah, no need. After Jullians down counting he's cleaning his mess up. I got another task for you anyway." She stated, carefully walking over the mess and towards the back of the store. "Are you good at fixing stuff?" She asked.

"I-I guess so I never-"

"You see that?" She pointed to the top shelf, which was a little over my face. I saw the dents and loose bolts as she sighed. "I'll give you the toolbox and you can fix that up, right?" I looked down at her, she looked up at me as she placed her hands on her hips. I absentmindedly nodded as she walked away.

Looking at the broken shelf, I cussed myself out. "Damn... I'm really in it this-" I whispered to myself. Not aware of Jullian running up to be, grabbing the collar of my shirt and slamming me into the other shelf. "Dude what the fuck!?" I grunted,

"Don't do it. Don't do it. I'm telling you Sean don't fucking do it-"

"Do what!? Fix the shelf." I winced as he slammed me into the shelf again. " Not the goddamn shelf! Marseille! I'm telling you, Shan, you're a really cool dude and I like you so please for the love of GOD do not try anything with her." He whispered, I quickly nodded, he got off me and helped me up.

#Shawn mendes x reader #Shawn Mendes #Noah Centineo fluff #Noah Centineo x reader #PennyWebby #Mini-series

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theliterateape · 6 years

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American Shithole #19 — 500 Days of Bummer

By Eric Wilson

I don’t want this summer to be a bummer. Last year was the Summer of Puppy where Stella stepped in to fill the void of a loss so terrible, I still can’t write about her — my sweet Layla. That summer though, followed 365 days less Trump. That is decidedly less Trump.

Those days are hell and gone.

Is anyone else feeling a little out of gas after 500 days of Trump? I sure am. This is all so spectacularly gross; and taxing. Turd sandwich after turd sandwich makes my tummy ache. Another day? Another turd sandwich. Check the midday news? Turd Sandwich. Did you choke down that turd sandwich too fast? Well never you mind, here’s the evening news with a shit milkshake to wash it down.

Mm, tastes like Giuliani.

But alas, we must carry on; forward we push, on to the pressing questions of the week!

Now that I have been proven horribly wrong in my prediction that Scott Pruitt would lose his job long ago, I figure it’s time to get back to my seer's roots. Back to a source that has never let me down. Back to the Oracle, baby. Let’s consult the Magic 8-Ball for (answers) to this week’s big questions. Here we go:

1. Did the dick dictator dictate? (It is decidedly so.)

2. Will Mueller’s investigation gather any high-hanging fruit before our collective will to live is extinguished? (Ask again later.)

3. Did this administration — via inaction and gross negligence — effectively murder thousands of Americans in Puerto Rico? (You may rely on it.)

4. Will there be another school shooting between now and five minutes from now? (Outlook not so good.)

5. Did Jefferson Sessions commandeer a former Walmart with blacked-out windows to house the hundreds of children he has separated from their mothers and fathers, and was a U.S. Senator from Oregon barred from entering that detention center for migrant children, with the officials on site going so far as to call the local police on the Senator? (Signs point to yes.)

What the fuck, Jeffery?

6. And finally, when adrift at sea — a sea of lying liars — is there an island I can float away to, somewhere I can play the fucking ukulele all day long, and spend my nights looking up at the stars? Preferably an island that isn’t on fire as it is mercilessly ravaged by rivers of molten lava? (My sources say no, loser!)

Hey, wait a minute. I’m pretty sure that last one’s not an official Magic 8-Ball answer…

(Whatever, loser!)

Whatever, 8-Ball. It’s a geyser of bullshit in Washington, America. I’ve watched enough CNN in 500 days to drown myself in it. I can say with confidence, if it weren’t for the deplorables, we would have flushed this guy already.

“Surely his base must tire?” I have asked a thousand times.

“Surely their reality must be tethered to some distant lamppost in their conspiracy-addled minds that can still illuminate the truth?” I’ve cried.

“Surely enough of these mono-browed, knuckle-dragging troglodytes will cease spelunking their own assholes for five fucking minutes; just long enough to catch wind of the geyser of fucking bullshit erupting from the White House?”

For far too many, it seems not. These modern day zombies may prove to be the end of us.

And with the lying from everyone involved within this administration being so effectively pervasive, so ubiquitous and insidiously destructive, I can’t even bring myself to watch Giuliani or Sanders spin the president’s words and actions this week. It’s too much. It’s just too damn much.

Uncle.

Oh, and can someone please find Bill Clinton’s handler and fire that worthless sack of shit for not keeping Bill the fuck off television? Jesus fucking Christ, can someone please keep the fucking Clintons off the goddamn television? Hey Bill, hey Hillary, shut the fuck up!

He is literally like the grandfather that comes to Thanksgiving and — during the huge family row — takes his fucking pants off. We have important family issues Pepaw; put your fucking pants back on and shut the fuck up!

Jesus fucking Christ. You’re on a book tour, because you wrote a book — a work of fiction I might add — with your buddy James Patterson, that no one wants to read while the country is ON FIRE, and you answer questions about Lewinski, sounding tone-deaf as shit about apologies, you stupid, insensate, doddering old lecher!

Could someone please fucking show the Clinton’s the EXIT sign.

Someone needs to give them a Hicksian reverse maître d’ — “Thanks for coming, street’s outside.”

Fucking hell, Bill. STFU.

(Sigh)

(Author's Note: President Clinton appeared on Late Night with Stephen Colbert after the writing of this column, with an admirable, even commendable performance. I love you Bill, but please shut the fuck up until this fucking monster is out of office.)

I am having one of those days, one of those “poor me” days. I was so frustrated and angry this morning — mostly due to chronic pain (for which I do my very best to keep a positive attitude, about 99 percent of the time) — and my temper flared, and I scared the dogs. So I have been feeling like shit about that all afternoon.

I woke up to my foot in puppy poop because someone had too many human dinner treats last night. It went downhill from there.

Here’s the thing about stepping in poop — it’s much worse with just a sock. The sock/poop combo really brings home the experience.

It’s just been one of those days.

It’s been one of those days where every outcome was somehow annoying — everyday tasks proved unnaturally difficult — and the walls felt like they were leaning in on me, trying to trip me, or throw me off balance, every time I’d round a corner. It’s been a day of obstacles and irritants. Every outside stimuli one would normally dismiss, was a buzzing bee, or a blaring siren.

Today was a buzz hassle. Today was a bummer.

As my friend Awyn put it in a private group this morning where I expressed dismay regarding my bummer predicament:

“This seems like a pretty common occurrence for the average American. Most of us have no money and tons of debt and we either do shitty jobs that kill us a little more every minute, or we starve and die more quickly. Government doesn't care which, so long as we are quiet about it.”

America's new slogan: Get Busy Dying. “We took the one from Shawshank and shortened it.”

All I know is, being able to see a doctor when you're sick shouldn’t be the pot of gold at the end of the American rainbow. I just want to be able to see the right doctor — like many, many Americans. That’s it. I can handle the rest.

Yet apparently we ask too much of our country’s billionaires — who have fought universal healthcare tooth and nail with hundreds of millions, perhaps billions of their filthy dollars over decades.

Healthier people are unfortunately happier people; and happy people don’t fear the bogeyman. For obscene wealth inequality to work, billionaires need lots of bogeymen — and of course, lots of terrified poor people.

Wasn’t it Christopher Hitchens who marveled that there are groups of Americans whom actually believe we aren’t awful enough to each other?

My medical adventure hasn’t yet reached a satisfactory or unsatisfactory conclusion — I am in Limbo — worried about insurance and coverage and pain and death and surgeries and recovery like so, so very many Americans. I won’t be pulling the trigger on American Shithole’s take on healthcare just yet; but I long to tell that story. I hope it ends well. Before it ends.

My experience so far is that every institution I have come in contact with involved in healthcare — from the pharmaceutical companies, to the insurance companies, to the hospital boards, as well as many of the doctors and the nurses — everyone involved is gaming the system.

None of them have your best interests, first.

Coming to this pitiful realization has siphoned my reservoir of hope more than Trump ever will. The disregard for the Hippocratic Oath in America — particularly regarding the opioid crisis — is at its heart, a betrayal by the scientific community. Greed apparently knows no boundaries. That’s what saddling healthcare with capitalism brings. Capitalism unleashes greed on our most desperate hour.

Our cruelty and indifference to our sick, our disabled, our dying, is appalling.

Anyway, back to the giant orange idiot, and how much he clearly does not give a fuck. I am starting to sense that Komàndant Bonespurs has pivoted from his “zero fucks given” default position at the outset of his presidency, to a somewhat more revved-up, 500+ days “negative fucks” attitude.

What’s the biggest story of the week — did daddy tell junior what to say about the Ruskies?

What was his response? He’s got Guiliani on television saying he can shoot the former head of the fucking FBI. Yep, put that one in the history books. He doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks or says at this point.

Are you numb yet?

Sure, legally it matters if he dictated the lies about the Trump Tower meeting that involved his son, but I’m not confident it matters in any sense involving the opinions of his base. With all the chum his legal team and the White House staff are heaving into the waters, the deplorables can feast for years without any need to belabor the facts — while the rest of us slowly drown in an ocean of deceit.

They are pirates on the high seas of American democracy, these filthy swashbucklers, riding the ugliest wave of populism since the 1930s. I look out on to the ocean that is America, and I dream of a blue tsunami — and yet all I see is Lady Liberty walking the plank.

What's on the horizon for America, you ask? Undiscovered country.

Will anyone bring these privateers to justice before it’s too late? Let’s ask the Magic 8-Ball one last time. (Don't count on it.)

B.S. Report

"Beginning June 15th at the Peace March in Chicago, the tour — dubbed March for Our Lives: Road to Change — will make 50 stops around the country over the course of 60 days. A separate tour led by March for Our Lives activists will make stops in all 27 of Florida’s congressional districts. Both tours will focus on registering young people to vote and educating the community about where their candidates stand on gun reform, and which of them have ties to the NRA." — Rolling Stone

4LWjr.

#500 Days of Trump #Giuliani #Robert Mueller #Jeff Sessions #Bill Clinton

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celebratorypenguin · 7 years

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Fic: How To Be

Rating: PG-13 for language and sad situations

Summary: Paul is summoned as George nears the end of his days.

Notes:While Paul did visit shortly before George's death, the events of this story didn't happen and are not meant to be considered historically accurate. I repeat: THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN.

How To Be

November, 2001

Paul peers half-heartedly out the window as the plane approaches New York City. He shudders at the raw scars crisscrossing lower Manhattan. Just like post-war Liverpool, where he grew up and met John, who died in New York City.

Where he met George, who was dying in New York City.

He's beginning to wonder if New York is cursed, or the city is cursing his loved ones, or some combination of the two.

At least they wouldn't be over Midtown, over the fucking Dakota. "Rosemary's Baby" had been on the telly recently and the mere sight of the building had been enough to make him nauseous and angry.

He shakes his head, weary from the long flight and all the emotions that had been percolating since he'd gotten Olivia's phone call.

"He's asking for you. Please, come as soon as you can."

Fuck cancer, anyway.

Sometimes, when he closes his eyes, he can still see Linda taking her last breath, can see the moment when her loving soul left her depleted body. Too soon. Too soon. And now it's going to be George.

George, stunning him by turning up at Linda's memorial despite the frosty cordiality their relationship had known since the Beatle breakup.

Once that first memory flies out of the jar, a flood of others spin quickly, like a filmstrip being run backwards.

George, playing ukulele in his garden during the "Anthology" filming while Paul plunked along - secretly envious that George could even make THIS instrument sound so much better than he could himself - while Ringo patted time on his jeans.

George, asking him and Linda and Ringo to "join in" on a little song he'd put together for John.

George, slagging Paul off on TV. George, playing a brutal, brilliant solo on "How Do You Sleep?"

George, bleary-eyed and sad, trying to speak too softly for the camera to pick up that he would play whatever Paul wanted, or not play at all if Paul didn't want him to.

George, sitting with his sitar across his lap, fingers flying.

George, flustered and blushing as he asked Paul to be his best man.

George.

Ducking jelly babies on stage. Sulking in the EMI studio, hiding his black eye from the photographer. Gazing helplessly at Paul and John as the German police took him away. Playing "Raunchy" atop a double-decker bus.

Paul hears a crashing E-Major chord...no, it is just the pilot on the PA announcing that they had landed, and to be careful opening the overhead bins as objects may have shifted during flight.

Paul blinks rapidly, trying to clear his vision from the treacherous wetness welling up in his eyes.

Lives may have shifted during flight.

He has prepared himself for dealing with the Public and having to put on a brave face my brave face but is relieved that a discreet, liveried driver drive my car meets him at the gate and efficiently takes his bags for him take it away. Someone has trained this guy well, and they pass the long drive to Staten Island in silence.

Paul's breathing quickens when he considers that he might be too late, that George might already be gone. He lets out a little moan, and then checks that the driver hasn't responded - he hasn't - and settles down again in his seat.

Little, mundane tasks, that's what he needs. Breath mint, comb, swig of water. He can do this, he can absolutely face Olivia and have the same fucking banal fucking conversations people held with him when Linda was dying, and FUCK IT here are the tears again and he'd be damned if he will do that in front of Olivia.

He opens the water bottle and downs most of it without drawing breath. He forces himself to look in the rear-view mirror.

Bad, bad, bad, bad. He tries on a smile but dismisses it as making him look like a constipated shark. Instead, he settles for putting his hair in something like order. The last wispy strands get under control just in time for the car to pull up to a side entrance. Mindful of his manners even when he's falling to pieces, because that's what he DOES, Paul makes himself thank the driver, screwing up his face at how tight his voice sounds, and goes in search of the office where Olivia is waiting to meet with him before taking him to say goodbye to George.

Fucking cancer, fucking SHITBALL cancer.

Olivia is waiting in the doorway. She looks small and exhausted, and when Paul takes her in his arms he is shocked at how frail she seems. But she is Olivia, the woman who had cracked her husband's would-be murderer over the head with a lamp, and she is a thousand times stronger than Paul could ever be.

"You look tired," Olivia says when she pulls back, appraising him with her warm eyes. "I appreciate you coming so quickly, I know how busy--"

Paul cuts her off by putting his finger over his own lips and then hers. "Don't even think about thanking me. I'd have come even if you'd told me not to."

She brushes her hair back from her forehead and nods toward a small table with four chairs. "Let's sit down for a bit first. Can I get you any coffee from the cafeteria, something to eat?"

Always, always the kindest lady Paul knew besides his own Linda the lovely linda. Paul shakes his head. He doesn't want anything in his stomach because he strongly suspects he'd be re-visiting it. He pulls a chair out for Olivia, and then sits next to her rather than across from her.

Her smile is sad, grateful. She takes his hand and holds it in hers, her wedding ring glinting in the fluorescent office light. "It's down to days, now," she says.

"Fuck," Paul says aloud without meaning to. "Sorry," he amends, squeezing Olivia's hand gently.

"Please, I lived with an ex-Beatle for decades and raised his son, you think I'm going to start clutching my pearls now?" They share a giggle for just a moment, a ray of sunshine penetrating storm clouds. "We aren't going back to England. George doesn't want a...shrine, anywhere. There's a detective looking for a place, something private where he can just go in peace."

Paul tries to clear his throat. He doesn't trust his voice, and with good reason because it comes out as a pained scraping sound. "I know this sounds crazy, but is there anything I can do?"

Now Olivia has taken his hand in both of hers, the silent gesture frightening Paul more than any tears or sobs could have done. "I need to ask you something. If it's too difficult, then just...well, answer me anyway. Please?"

"Of course, of course," Paul hears himself saying in a vacuum of misery. "Anything. I mean it."

Olivia squares her shoulders. "Well. George has been planning his d...death, and what he wants afterwards, but I need help with what happens after that. I need help, Paul, I don't know how to be a widow, much less a Beatle widow." She blinks back tears, looks at their joined hands, then gazes at him again. "But you do."

It's a sucker-punch. Paul takes in a lungful of air through his nose and lets it out through his mouth. He has to look away from her for a moment and he tries to focus on the details of this office. Big desk, lots of books, blinds on the window. Whose office is it, he wonders idly, but it's not enough of a distraction.

When he dares to look back at Olivia, she has her head tilted to one side. Waiting. Hoping he will say something to ease her pain, to get her on track for the years and years and years of wishing if you were here today.

"I'm not a wise person," Paul says carefully. "I'm a pretty rubbish role model."

"Well, it's either you or Yoko," Olivia declares, wrinkling her nose.

Ah.

"Well," Paul says after he takes a steadying breath, "I'm not gonna lie to you, Liv. When...at the end...I thought the moment Linda died would be the worst one of my life, but it turns out that it was just the beginning of a long and winding road stretch of absolutely fucking awful."

Olivia nods.

"The kids kept me grounded, just like Dhani will do with you. Something kicks in and you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, have to get up and brush your teeth like it's any old day just another day because if you fall apart, they fall apart." He remembers the pain of getting up the morning after Linda died, how howlingly dark the world seemed, how much he just wanted to stuff it all and jump off a building, but he's not going to say that to her. "I did some drinking. Don't recommend it."

She nods again, her teeth digging into her lower lip.

"Then there are the firsts - the first birthday when you realize that she'll never get older, the first anniversary spent alone. And other things, like giving away her clothes. Like washing the sheets that still smelled like her..." That finishes him, and he averts his gaze so Olivia won't see the tears leaving hot, oily tracks on his face.

Paul hears the squeak of the chair leg across the floor just before Olivia's arms wrap around him. She strokes his hair so gently that he's hardly aware of her light touch. "I'm so sorry, Paul," she murmurs at his temple.

He lets himself go on for a few moments while she rocks back and forth. Then he remembers who's supposed to be comforting whom and he gently pulls away from her, drying his eyes with the heels of his hands. "No, no, 's okay," he rasps. "I just wasn't prepared for the question, that's all. Sit back down, I'm sorry, I'm okay now."

He isn't, and he knows that she knows he isn't, but he's a BLOKE and they don't do this. Olivia takes her seat again but she's watching him for any more signs of being utterly fucking useless. No, that isn't right. Olivia's nothing if not fair; she won't judge him based on the last three minutes.

Hopefully, not on the last thirty years, either, he reflects, and that reminds him of something.

"I said, after John," and he has to stop and take a deep, shuddering breath, "after John died, that I'd never get into a situation again where someone died with...with important things unsaid." Olivia gives him a sad, sweet smile. "I hope George and I are...okay, now."

"You were the second person he asked to see," she says with a rueful grin when Paul raises an eyebrow at his ordinal number. "Ringo was the first. George wanted to clear the air about Maureen, to ask Ringo's forgiveness for that, for the lawsuit, and some other stuff."

"You knew?" Paul asks. It's not like George to have-an-affair-with-his-best-mate's-wife and tell. He remembers hearing about it from Pattie, how her enormous blue eyes were rimmed with scarlet from all the tears. Oh, Christ, he's probably going to have to be the one to tell Pattie, and he's not sure how he's going to do that. "You knew about Maureen?"

Olivia rolls her eyes at him. "Paul, it's all over the place. I could hardly miss it."

Paul, who avoids "places" whenever possible, wonders what other secrets you afraid or is it true? are out there. He has fond memories of Maureen little willow, who died a few years before Linda. Maureen was the first "Beatle wife" to go. Ringo and her husband were both at her deathbed.

He wonders if anyone will be left when it's his turn.

That line of thinking won't help George. Paul forces himself into the present. "You know what the weirdest part was?" he asks Olivia even though there's no way she can know the answer. "It was the way the word 'widower' tasted. Seriously, every time I called myself that I could feel a sour, bitter taste in my mouth."

Olivia's mouth forms the word "widow" but no sound comes out. She puts her hands over her face and lets out a short, sharp cry. Her fist goes over her lips, as if to push the sound back in.

Paul knows, knows somewhere at the atomic level in his bones, exactly what Olivia is feeling. He gets up, knees creaking a little when I'm sixty-four, and kneels in front of her. "Liv," he murmurs, "it's not going to be okay, not for a long time, but I promise you that you'll get through it. And I'll help you, I'll do whatever I can." He waits, one hand resting lighty on Olivia's knee while she pulls herself together.

"I'm sorry," she gasps, reaching into her purse for a tissue. "I keep thinking I'm cried out, then all of a sudden it just grabs me all over again."

Paul nods. He doesn't want to tell her that he still cries. Not just for Linda, but for his parents, and John dear friend. Always John, snatched just as his life was getting back on track. Forget fucking cancer. Fuck guns, and fuck that shithead whose name is a waste of oxygen.

The devil's best friend, as George had called him.

At least the anger helps Paul keep the tears at bay. He rises, offers his hand to Olivia, and gently guides her to her feet. "I'm ready," he says softly.

She gives him a smile that almost, almost makes it to her eyes. She leans gratefully against him as she leads him down the corridor to where two guards stand outside a room with a handwritten sign: George Arias.

Dhani is also there, slouching against a wall, eyes wide open and staring sightlessly at the ceiling. He is wearing a white t-shirt and tight jeans, and he looks so much like George that Paul is reasonably certain that his heart is going to shatter at the sight of him.

"Here's Paul," Olivia whispers to get Dhani's attention. Dhani leans over to kiss his mother's cheek, then flings his arms around Paul. Paul pats his back - just as thin as his dad's, with the same sharp shoulder blades - and presses his cheek against Dhani's thick, wind-blown hair of a thousand laces.

"I'm so sorry," Paul murmurs. "I've loved your dad since we were kids together."

"He's told me," Dhani replies. He's a bit hoarse and sounds far older than his years. "He was so happy when Mum told him you were on your way."

Paul can't remember the last time George was happy to see him.

"Anyhow, he's awake now. You should go on in."

Paul waits for Olivia's assent before stepping past the guards - who stand a little straighter at the sight of a Beatle - and into the stark white hospital room.

George is lying on the bed. His body has the paper-thin skin and sunken musculature he remembers from Linda, and his mother. Only the eyes are the same, large and dark, with a spark of humor still evident despite the drugs being pumped into his frail frame.

Paul musters up a smile when George beckons him closer. He pulls up a chair to the bedside but George shakes his head and pats the mattress at his side until Paul sits there instead.

He breathes deeply as George takes hold of his right hand. His left hand goes briefly to George's sharp cheekbone, then comes to rest in the shorn, gray remnant of his once-luxurious hair.

Fuck cancer. Fuck it to the ends of the fucking, fucking earth.

In memory of his parents, of Maureen, of Linda, and of John-always-John, Paul leans over and listens as George offers words of apology, of reconciliation, of love.

He will listen as long as George wants to talk, and will talk as long as George wants to listen. He will be there for Olivia and Dhani, will promise to look after them, and after Ringo as well.

Because if there's one thing Paul knows how to be, it's a survivor.

*** END ***

#fic #The Beatles

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