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#just got home
grocerytote · 2 hours ago
i think your manic energy and your absolutely chill energy are constantly at war and im obsessed
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simveong · 6 hours ago
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🕴
#i’m in the bath rn overthinking so i need to rant#sry i hate to rant on places but it’s the only way i can get it out#my friend n i went to fl a week after we graduated#this was like almost a month ago n a few days#n we were having a good time n stuff#n then since we got home she hasn’t said anything to me at all or respond to my stuff 🤣🤣#i rly feel so used and i’ve already been down n it really just added shit on top of it#not to mention she literally made my mom (i don’t have an income rn but i have my first nursing job in a couple weeks yay!!)#pay for almost EVERYTHING while we were there (n she has her own income)#and THEN she got home and she was like omg my brother just gave me $750 for graduation like….#that’s more than i got from numerous ppl 🕴 but idc i don’t like gifts anyway it’s not the point#but i was already down bc we share a friend group (needless to say she did introduce me to them!!)#and after graduation they kept hyping her up n stuff and they did none of that for me ☹️#i’ll admit i’m prob more self aware of that stuff bc what i’ve been through but ya#also i didn’t tell any of u this but for my nursing interview i got offered SEVEN POSITIONS IN ONE DAY!!!!#i was so excited n none of them….even cared#idk i haven’t really been on socials except here and my kpop twt (i deactivated my locals twt)#and none of them have said a word to me no check up or nothing and i even cried out for help 🧍‍♀️#i just really want ppl to be there for me like i am for them like srsly the ONLY thing i can’t do rn is drive but i’m working on it!!!!#i can’t even tell if it’s me or the other ppl anymore#i even asked my mom bc i will own my mistakes if it’s me and she said she doesn’t think it’s me they’re just selfish assholes#none of them understand mental illness either and they’re just like lol suck it up be happy but i try to overlook it#idk i’m pretty sure i have undiagnosed borderline but i still don’t think i can contribute ALL of these issues to me bc i will own up n say#i’m a drama queen sometimes but this happens way too often….it just makes me feel so down#i feel like everyone already has their besties and i’m just left out#i truly feel so so so so alone#ik ppl say they’re here for me but i never want to dump my problems on someone but sometimes that’s all i need#i just want a friend….a genuine friend#text#i really just sit and wonder like….would kms fix all this
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french-fry-0 · 7 hours ago
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So backing up the pictures on my phone failed probably bc of me not understanding things
But anyway I thought I'd at least start deleting pics I dont wanna save...didnt think itd be like 600 to 800 pics and thats just the main folder not even having gone through the mini folders
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pumakaji64 · 12 hours ago
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day be so fine,,, then boom,,,, I remember the sc*tt discourse (tw: death mention under the cut, specifically of immigrants )
I feel so bad for getting so upset because I dont want to seem like im overreacting cuz I have adhd and I do have a bad issue with controlling my rsd but god...... some people dont know how fucking traumatizing it was during that time I literally have tr*mps name fucking blacklisted because I just get reminded of the shit I would see online or on tv during that time and it makes me panic so badly
I just think back to the dead fucking bodies, they were real those were real fucking dead bodies of immigrants just floating in the water just fuck fuck fuck the bodies of a fucking salvadorian and his daughter jsut triyng to find a beteter life jsut christ fuck I fucking part Salvadorian, my grandfather on my motehrs side is a salvadorian, im first fucking generation and I had to sit through hearing about babies born in states being called 'anchor babies' and dehumanized daily fuck fuck just fuck
its not just a harmelss opinion when it enables fucking people who casually talk and share pictures of dead immigrants to be in posistions of pwoer over thsoe immgirant the shit they did to them fuck man I hate it I hate it fnaf meant so much to me but i cant think about it now without thking about the dead fucking bodies the shit they said and did to people of my ethnciity
it wasnt like the tr*mp administations disdain for hispanics were a fucking secert fuck I remember the day that campaign got popualr because he started villifiyng us and people were saying 'finally someone who isnt afraid to say the truth' fuck I was a teenager, I was just barely getting into young adulthood when I saw the dead fucking bodies, I know I jsut need time but I can't think about fnaf without thinking about the dead bodies
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haintxblue · 15 hours ago
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I have previously mentioned that my cat is an unmanageable hellion at the vet.
She had various procedures today and they called me at around 11:00 to tell me she was out of anesthesia and they'd be monitoring her and could I come get her around 2:30? And I said of course, and started down the stairs to update my mom on the situation.
I literally didn't even make it all the way downstairs before she called back, audibly suppressing a laugh, and said very politely that the vet had actually decided that it would be better if I came and got her right away.
She DOES scream very impressively. She can project like an operatic diva. I'm guessing this was the deciding factor.
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nightmareantagonist · 16 hours ago
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my brain is poisonous my body is a mess my heart is hazardous who could i be instead
poppy really knows whats shes talking about huh
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janefonda · 16 hours ago
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as much as i think its sad how we sometimes do things for the last time and arent aware of it, i really do think being aware of the last time and having to live with those memories is worse
#this is about the last thing i reblogged#idk i just always was very keenly aware of things ending and people leaving and those last times are really burned in my memory#cause much of my teen years was crying and wishing i could go back to those specific days and stop it ending#like i remember the last time i hung out w my childhood best pal cause i called her and her mum like 20 times trying to#get her to come play in the snow with me but she was at a sleepover and when she finally came over#she wasnt in the mood to play anymore and we just walked around for 10 mins and then she said it was cold and she wanted to go home#so we turned bsck and she said she like the new rihanna song and then when we got to the street she went into her grans without saying bye#and i cried for hours because it was the worst day id ever had w her#and my other best pal from childhood came to see me and see if i wanted to hang out in the street but i said no cause it was cold and i was#hungry and then she went home and we just never ever talked again#and i remember at the time thinking it was so sad that it was cold because we had been hanging out less and less lately#idk i just think having to live w those memories and having moments to mourn over is sadder#and even in adulthood like the last time i saw my best pals i remember struggling to breathe cause they were making plans#and inckuding the guy harassing me and i started having a panic attack and had to hide it#because i knew that if i told them it would change everything and then i told my best friend and she just stopped texting me ever again#nobody has to read this im just thinking thoughts#and i remember the last time my dad hugged me and how i was thinking he wouldnt hug me ever again cause he was leaving#but i didnt even know at that point that he really was leaving forever#and i remember the last time i got picked up and how my nana said i was too heavy and i started crying cause i didnt want her to stop#cause i liked when she picked me up and danced around the kitchen to john denver#having a really good memory and being an anxious person since childhood really is a hellish combination#feel very fleabag i dont know what to do with it i dont know where to put it now with my memories#ive just always been a very aware person and have always had that panic that this may be the last time i get to do this thing#so i remember all of it in clear detail like im preparing for the end#i really just use tumblr to vent and complain idk why people follow me lmao sorry if you read all of this
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cardinal-carvings · 18 hours ago
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y'all want some Gay™ flustered chex
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