Tumgik
#just for context: for some reason i’m grossed out by how chicken feels so i don’t like to touch ot
arsonist-twink · 3 years
Text
me, sitting at the table trying to eat a chicken leg: i’m too mentally ill for this shit
1 note · View note
choerrypuffs · 4 years
Text
my best friend wants to be abducted by aliens.
Tumblr media
pairing: son of athena!renjun x daughter of aphrodite!reader
genre: fluff, angst
word count: 14.6k (this was supposed to be 5k 😌)
author’s note: hi so here is renjun’s chapter to my 00 line x camp half-blood series (i’m sorry, i know it took forever)! thank you so much for all of the support, and i hope you enjoy 💞
warning: one (1) makeout session
Tumblr media
You are currently crouched behind a cluster of bushes, trying to get a glimpse of your targets through binoculars. 
Does that sound stalkerish? Perhaps. 
Are you actually a stalker? Debatable. 
However, no matter how suspicious it looks, your motive is pure—for the most part. 
You’re spying on Kang Daniel (son of Hermes) and Park Jihyo (daughter of Apollo), both of whom are at the Archery Range. Jihyo is showing Daniel how to shoot, encasing him with her arms as she nocks the arrow for him. The tips of his ears are so red that they could practically be a flare; you can see how flamboyant they are all the way from your hiding spot. 
You start grinning like a maniac, excited that your plan is finally unfolding. 
You had noticed how awful Daniel was at archery during a training session a couple weeks ago, and you casually suggested to him that he should ask Jihyo for some lessons. You’ve always known that Daniel has been hopelessly in love with Jihyo since the moment he saw her (it’s a child of Aphrodite thing—you can just sense it), but she’s been oblivious to it this entire time. 
Well, until now. 
Just as you guessed, sparks flew immediately. You could cut the sexual tension between them with a knife. You give them a couple more passionately-charged archery lessons before they inevitably surrender to their emotions and begin to date—and your predictions are never wrong. 
“Another job well done, Y/N,” you mumble proudly to yourself, “Mom would be so proud.”
“Excuse me, ma’am. I’m going to have to ask you to stop loitering by these bushes and stalking those two campers over there, or else I’ll have to report you to the camp director,” a sudden voice from behind you says. 
Letting out a loud yelp, you drop your binoculars in surprise and whip your head around to see who it is. You turn so fast that you almost fall backwards into said bushes, quickly using your palms to balance yourself. 
“Renjun, you asshole!” 
Huang Renjun, your long-time best friend and professional asshole, is standing in front of you. He’s wearing the iconic orange Camp Half-Blood t-shirt with black jeans, his hands tucked inside his pockets. His dark hair is parted to one side, with a single lock of hair falling perfectly into one eye, giving him the I-wake-up-and-my-hair-is-naturally-like-this look (even though it’s most definitely not true). No doubt that he’s the best-looking person in the entire camp, but his brusque personality makes him a rose with thorns. Sharp thorns.
You often wonder how the two of you even became as close as you are. Children of Athena and Aphrodite notoriously clash due to their mothers’ history with each other. 
You met Renjun four years ago at Arts and Crafts Center, which is a hotspot for children of Athena. It was your first time at the camp, and you wanted to try making a ceramic (maybe a bowl or vase) to bring back to your family as a souvenir. Of course, you failed miserably and got snickered at by other Athena kids. Renjun, who had been sitting beside you, was the only one who didn’t laugh. He even gruffly gave you some pointers. Grateful, you complimented his painting—a mix of pink, yellow, blue, and purple watercolors that meshed together to resemble a galaxy. In return, he gave it to you.
“It’s not my best work, so you can have it,” he had said nonchalantly.
Even though it was the most beautiful piece of art you’ve ever seen, and it’s remained one of your most prized possessions to this day. 
After that incident, you basically attached yourself at the hip with him. He would constantly complain about you following him around, but he also didn’t do anything to stop it. He’s been complaining for four, going on five, years now, yet he’s become your closest friend. Renjun likes act like you’re a pain in the ass (which isn’t untrue), but you know he cares about you. Even if he doesn’t verbalize it, you can tell by his actions; it’s all about the small things with him. Despite being rough around the edges, Huang Renjun is actually just a big softie on the inside. 
“—could you stop snooping around like a weirdo?” Renjun asks, cutting your trip down memory lane short.
You rise to your feet, dusting your palms off and glaring at him. “I’m not snooping around like a weirdo. I’m just snooping around on one of my projects, like a good matchmaker.”
“Sure,” he says, rolling his eyes. He leans down and picks up your binoculars, handing them to you. 
You take them and hang them around your neck. “Why are you here anyway?”
“Aren’t you the one who asked me to meet you at the Dining Pavilion for lunch?” He raises an eyebrow. 
“Oh, sorry! I lost track of time,” you exclaim. “How’d you find me?”
Renjun gives you a pointed look. “Well, seeing as how Daniel and Jihyo are your current quote-unquote project, all I had to do was figure out where they were because I knew you’d be somewhere close.”
You give him a sheepish smile. “You know me so well, Junnie.”
“The hell? Don’t call me that, it’s gross,” he snaps, pretending like he’s about to gag.
“You’re not cute at all,��� you huff. 
“Neither are you,” he replies.
“You are so rude! You’ll never get a girlfriend with an attitude like that!” You place your hands on your hips.
“I’ll live,” he says, shrugging. 
You don’t know much about Renjun’s love life because he refuses to tell you anything; he’s like a stubborn clam that won’t open up. However, he’s made it very clear that he does not want your assistance when it comes to finding romance. Obviously, it hasn’t stopped you from trying, but this is one of the few things you can’t seem to make him give in to. 
Yet.
“Whatever,” you sigh. “Let’s go eat.”
The two of you walk to the Dining Pavilion, which is a relatively long walk from the Archery Range, but you make enough conversation that it feels short. When you arrive, you see that they’re serving chicken curry and rice. Your stomach growls embarrassingly loudly when the mouthwatering scent hits you, which prompts Renjun to laugh at you. You give him the middle finger and then turn around to grab a lunch tray. Once you get your food, you two sit at a table in the back. 
Before you begin to eat, you notice that your curry has chunks of potatoes and slices of carrots on it—you abhor carrots more than anything in this world. Noticing your disgusted expression, Renjun slides his plate over without even batting an eyelash, so you can pick out the carrot slices and give them to him. It’s a routine thing for the two of you, since you’re an extremely picky eater and he’s not.
After you take out all of the carrots, you begin to devour your food. You’re wolfing it down so fast that you’re basically asking to choke, in which you immediately do. A piece of chicken lodges itself in your throat, and you begin to cough violently. Renjun sighs, patting your back before handing you your cup of water. 
“I feel like I’m babysitting a toddler every time I eat with you,” he points out as you gulp down your water. 
“Thanks,” you say after you recover.
“For dislodging the food in your esophagus or calling you a toddler?” 
“Both!” you say cheerfully. 
Renjun shakes his head at you, but he’s smiling. You take advantage of his good mood by quickly reaching over and swiping a couple of grapes from the fruit bowl on his tray. He rolls his eyes when you pop them into your mouth and wink at him. 
“Um, Renjun?” A small, different voice cuts in. Both of you turn around to see who it is. 
Hwang Yeji, daughter of Iris and one of the most popular girls at the camp, is standing there. She’s fidgeting, and you can see pink dusting her cheeks. Her friends are at the table right behind her, giving her supportive looks. She smiles shyly at Renjun. 
“Can I help you?” Renjun asks, deadpanning. He isn’t rude per se, but it’s also not a friendly tone. 
Yeji slightly falters at his lackluster response. “Oh, um, I’m going to be performing at the amphitheater tonight...and I was wondering if you could come watch?”
“Why?” 
You know Renjun is asking because he’s genuinely baffled, but it doesn’t lessen your urge to want to slap him upside the head.
“N-No particular reason! O-Okay, bye!” Yeji turns on her heel and runs away. You watch her go back to her table, head hung low in defeat.
“What was that all about?” Renjun is still bewildered. 
No longer able to control yourself, you punch him in the arm. “You moron!”
“Ow! What the hell, Y/N?” he hisses, rubbing his arm.
“She invited you to watch her perform because she likes you!” you hiss. 
“What? No, she doesn’t.” He furrows his eyebrows. 
“Yes, she does! I should know of all people, you dingus. Even without powers, literally anyone else would be able to see that Yeji likes you!” You’re trying your best to keep your voice down, but he’s making it difficult for you. “You are the densest person on the planet!”
“Look who’s talking,” Renjun mutters underneath his breath. 
“I can’t believe you just blew her off like that,” you continue, not hearing what he said.
“How was I supposed to know she liked me? I’ve never even spoken to her,” he protests.
You stare at him in disbelief. “Couldn’t you tell by the context clues?” 
“What context clues?”
“Oh my gods,” you groan, covering your face with your hands.
“What do you want me to do then?” he asks tiredly. 
“Go to her performance tonight,” you say immediately, uncovering your face and whipping your head to look at him with a hopeful expression.
“I don’t really want to though. There’s no point in getting her hopes up if I don’t like her back,” Renjun states matter-of-factly.
“How do you not even have a little bit of interest in her? Look at her! She’s stunning!” You feel like your eyes are about to pop out of your head.
“I’m not saying she isn’t, but I just don’t feel anything special towards her,” he explains. 
“You’re actually insane,” you say incredulously. “There’s no way someone can look at Hwang Yeji and say they don’t feel anything special.”
“If you feel so strongly about it, you could date her,” he suggests.
“No, I’ve decided,” you cut him off, slamming your hand on the table with determination. “I’m going to find you a girlfriend.”
“I’ll have to respectfully decline your services,” he answers, sighing.
“Give me one week,” you plead, “all of my matches have worked out within a week. Please, Renjun? The worst thing that can happen is that you actually like someone and you two become a couple.” 
“And what if it doesn’t work out?” He tilts his head.
“Then, I’ll drop the girlfriend topic for good. I swear on River Styx. And I’ll also give up my title as Camp Half-Blood’s official matchmaker,” you promise.
“You gave yourself that title.”
“Shut up.”
“Why are you so adamant on finding me a girlfriend anyway?” he asks.
“Because you’re so set on not getting a girlfriend, and that drives me crazy. I want to know just who on this Earth can make you feel something special, if even Yeji can’t do it. I want to crack you, like a walnut,” you admit.
“Bad analogy.”
“Yeah, it sounded better in my head.”
Renjun falls quiet, and you can practically see the gears turning in his head as he weighs the pros and cons of your proposition. Athena kids think way too much and way too loudly; they need to let loose and follow their hearts more.
You sit in anticipation for just a little longer before you see the tension on his face begin to dissipate and his features begin to droop. It’s an expression you know well; he’s going to let you have your way, like he always does. 
He pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing. “You get five days. That’s it.”
You squeal loudly, launching yourself at him so you can envelop him in a big bear hug. He grunts as he catches you, saving the both of you from toppling backwards onto the floor. “You’re the best, Renjun!”
Even when he’s irritated or annoyed, Renjun never pushes you away when you hug him. He isn’t exactly the affectionate type, yet his embrace is always so warm and calming. His words may be cutthroat, but his actions are always gentle.
He circles his arms around your waist loosely as he sighs into your hair, seemingly waiting for you to pull back to face him before he says anything. When you do, he flicks you on the forehead instead.
Okay, so you take the his actions are always gentle part back.
“Ouch!” You shrug yourself out of his hold, rubbing the probably reddening spot on your forehead.
“Payback for punching me earlier,” Renjun says, crossing his arms. “But are you sure about this?”
“What do you mean?” 
“You have a perfect record when it comes to your matches. Plus, you’re losing two out of your usual seven days. Are you sure you want to risk breaking your streak?” he asks. 
“What makes you think it’ll get broken?” you shoot back.
“I don’t just think; I know it will,” he smirks arrogantly. “That’s why I’m asking.”
You feel your left eye twitch. Riled up by his cocky demeanor, you grab your cup and chug the rest of your water, wincing like you just downed a shot. Wiping your mouth, you point your finger at him.
“Huang Renjun, just you wait. I’ll make you fall in love so hard that you’ll forget your own name.”
Tumblr media
ও DAY ONE.
The Athena Cabin is a marvel to you every time you enter it. Rather than a cabin, it’s a workshop and a library in one on the inside. There are beds pushed haphazardly against the walls, and if you didn’t know that this was the official Athena Cabin, you would’ve thought that the Athena children had simply just crashed at a random facility at the camp and decided to call it their place of residence. 
Renjun is still asleep, despite the commotion of his brothers and sisters running around in the library and/or constructing something in the workshop. His bed is located in the very back, hidden by a bookshelf that’s not frequented often. He’s curled up into a ball, with the blanket covering his head but you can still see tufts of his hair sticking out from under it. 
“Rise and shine!” you sing, lifting blanket off his face. 
His peaceful expression twists with discomfort as its exposed to light, and he immediately rips the pillow out from under his head and puts it over his face. He says something to you, but his words are muffled. You just assume it’s some sort of profanity. 
“Come on, Sleeping Beauty! We have business to attend to,” you say cheerfully, taking the pillow away and tossing it to the foot of his bed.
“And what exactly is this supposed business?” Renjun asks dryly, opening his eyes and squinting up at you. 
“We’re going to scout for potential candidates for you,” you answer as you grab his arm and pull him up. He reluctantly lets you, slumping forward like a limp puppet. 
“Isn’t that your job?” He raises an eyebrow, running a hand through his messy bedhead. Renjun always looks particularly adorable when he wakes up. His pajamas consist of a pair of basketball shorts and an extremely stretched-out t-shirt. The shirt is so big that it’s slipping off his shoulder, which makes him look like a little kid. His hair is sticking up in all sorts of directions, and you can’t help but grin at how cute it is. 
“Yes, but you’re a special case.” You talk to him like he’s five, running your hands through his hair and messing it up even more. Renjun scowls at you, but he sits there and lets you do it.
“Geez, who peed in your cornflakes?” you tease, seeing his stormy look. 
“You.”
“Okay, fine! I’ll wait for you outside, but don’t take too long to get ready,” you say, finally retracting your hands. “No more than thirty minutes or else I’m gonna come find you!” 
He gives you another nasty look, and you blow him a kiss before skipping away. As you head back to the entrance, you greet a couple of Athena kids who pass by. Normally, Aphrodite and Athena children stick their noses up in the air and ignore each other, but you’re such a frequent visitor that they have had no choice but to accept you. It also helps that Renjun is quite popular, so the campers that don’t like you are forced to tolerate you anyway because you’re his best friend. 
That’s another thing you don’t understand—why Renjun hangs out with you when everyone around him is practically foaming at the mouth at the prospect of being his friend (or something more). But for reasons unknown to you, he chooses to ice them out and spend time with you instead.
It’s not that you’re inherently unpopular or someone that would “tarnish” his reputation, but he could probably find someone that annoyed him less and didn’t cause as much trouble as you do. However, you’re glad that he’s choosing to stay by your side in spite of how crazy you can get, because you’re not really sure what you would do without him. 
Not that you would ever admit that because Renjun would roast you to high Olympus.  
As if on cue, you spot Renjun trudging toward you. True to your request, he got ready within thirty minutes. In fact, it only took him about fifteen. He doesn’t look very happy, but he’s always had a resting bitch face (though you’re pretty sure he’s just pissed at you right now).
Strangely, you’re a little embarrassed to see him. You’re not sure why you suddenly thought of your friendship with him and got all sappy. You’ve never really been good at handling the mushy-gushy stuff—only helping others find it.
“Let’s get this over with,” Renjun says begrudgingly when he reaches you, crossing his arms.
“Okay, well, first thing’s first,” you respond, trying to get back on track. You loop your arm through his, which prompts him to instantly uncross his own so you can cling onto his bicep. It’s such a natural action for you that you don’t even think about how quickly he accommodates you. “What’s your type?”
“Where are we going?” he asks, furrowing his eyebrows as he lets you lead him around.
“That depends on your answer to my question,” you reply breezily.
“Aren’t you supposed to be the one who figures that out? You know, with your whole Aphrodite-love-sense-tingle thing.” 
You ignore his dig at your ability. “Normally, yes. But seeing as you’re incapable of feeling any emotion other than bitterness, I have to directly ask you.” 
He laughs at your comeback. “I see. But even if I do tell you my type, what makes you think she will like me too?” 
“If she doesn’t, then just woo her with your irresistible charm,” you say sarcastically. 
“My irresistible charm has a tendency to make people hate my guts, actually,” Renjun says, shrugging. “Wouldn’t want that, would we?” 
“Renjun, you are fully capable of making a girl fall for you,” you chide, huffing at his negative attitude. “I’m not concerned with that. My main issue right now is finding someone that will make you care enough to want her to like you back.”
“You think so?” he asks quietly, looking down at where your hand is resting on his arm.
“Hm?” 
“I hope you’re right,” he says a little louder, dragging his gaze away from your hand and giving you a small smile. “About being capable.”
When Renjun looks into your eyes, you feel him for the first time. Your heart wrenches with his, like a knife was driven into it and something keeps twisting it. It’s an excruciating pain that makes your lungs want to cave in, a pain so unbearably sad that it makes you want to assume fetal position and bawl your eyes out, an exhausting pain that drains you of all your energy until you want to collapse, a pain that makes you hate yourself—but it’s a pain you never want to get rid of. It’s a pain that makes you happy. It’s a pain you’re willing to endure for...for...for what? 
But the pain only lasts for a moment, flashing by like lightning. As you try to reach deeper, it slips through your fingers. Just as suddenly as it hit you, it vanishes. What remains in its place is the metaphorical iron wall that you always seem to run into every time you try to look into Renjun’s heart.
You can already feel your body starting to forget the pain. It’s so fast that you begin questioning if you even truly felt it in the first place, or if it was all some fever dream. You could also be having a stroke, so there’s that.
All jokes aside, you’re not sure what you’re more surprised by: the fact that Renjun has been feeling like this or how well he’s managed to hide it. 
And you’re not sure what you’re more hurt by: the fact that Renjun didn’t tell you or if you’re the one he’s trying to hide it from.
“—hello? Y/N? Earth to Y/N?” Renjun waves his hand in front of your face. 
You jolt, blinking several times as you detach yourself from your whirlwind of thoughts. “S-Sorry! What were you saying?”
“What’s wrong?” he asks, brows furrowing in concern. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 
“Ghosts don’t exist,” you retort automatically.
“Yes, they do! How many times have I told you there’s no way that my glass bottle could’ve fallen from my bed without shattering, yet it was underneath my bed, completely and totally unsc—” He begins to protest. 
You cut him off by wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a hug. Thankfully, Renjun stops rambling about his ghost story that you’ve heard about a million times and trails off. His hands slowly come to rest on the small of your back, giving you soothing pats. It makes you sad that he’s always ready to comfort you when he’s the one that needs it. Your vision gets blurry with tears, but you hurriedly blink them away.
“How can you be so smart yet so dumb?” you whisper into his shoulder, clutching him tighter.
“You know, you’re sending me mixed signals here,” he says wryly. 
You hug him for a couple more seconds before pulling back. Reaching your hands up, you cup his face. Unfortunately, you do it a little too enthusiastically and basically slap both of his cheeks. “Shit! I’m so sorry, Renjun!” 
“Ow! What is wrong with you?” he demands, wincing. His lips are adorably jutted out and his words probably aren’t as angry as he wants them to be because you’re squishing his cheeks way too hard. 
“I just wanted to tell you that I will definitely find you a girlfriend. No matter what,” you declare with determination in your eyes.
Because I don’t want you to be in pain anymore. Because you deserve to be happy. Because you should have someone to lean on too, you want to say.
Renjun is staring at you like you’ve grown another head. “Y/N, you’re scaring me.”
“Don’t worry about it,” you dismiss. “Now, hurry up and tell me your ideal type.”
“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” 
“Oh my gods, I’m fine. Stop with all the questions and just answer me!” you say, placing your hands on your hips.
“I think I’m starting to reconsider my ideal type right now,” he replies, eyeing you suspiciously. 
You sigh loudly. “Could you tell me one character trait that you would like in a girlfriend? Just one. Pretty please with a cherry on top?”
He snorts, and you begin to grow frustrated. “Renjun—”
“Stubborn,” he answers. 
You raise an eyebrow. “Of all the things you could’ve chosen, you went with that?”
“I finally answer your question and now you’re shaming me for it?” he shoots back. 
You put your hands up in mock surrender. “Okay, okay, sorry. Anything else you can think of?”
“Unpredictable. Hotheaded. Infuriating. Nosy. Reckless. Unable to take anything seriously. No concept of personal space,” he lists them off like he’s has it memorized.
“These are all terrible traits,” you point out, frowning. 
“Tell me about it.”
“Stop messing around,” you snap, giving him a small shove. “Some positive ones, please.”
Renjun pauses. “This might take a second.”
You give him a pointed look, crossing your arms and tapping your foot impatiently. At this point, you’re not even sure if he’s just joking or if he actually means it. However, it’s the only thing you’ve gotten out of him so far, so you have to work with it. 
“Dedicated,” he finally says after some intense pondering.
You exhale in relief. “Thank gods. What else?”
“Kind. Cheerful. Carefree. Funny. Always makes me smile. Marches to her own beat. An open book when it comes to her feelings. Says whatever is on her mind without thinking twice. Gets excited about things that don’t matter. Has a wonderful laugh. Able to see the good in me, even though I’m an asshole—”
As he continues, you eventually stop paying attention to his words and watch his expression. All of his features have softened, and there’s a warmth in his eyes that you’ve never seen before. He has the gentlest smile on his face as he talks, but you’re not even sure that he’s aware of it. 
You wouldn’t be a child of Aphrodite if you couldn’t recognize a boy in love, and Renjun certainly fits the bill. 
Suddenly, you feel an ugly sensation twisting in the pit of your stomach, coiling like a poisonous snake. It’s an awful feeling, and it makes you ashamed because it resembles jealousy way too closely for your comfort. You hate feeling like this, but you don’t know how to stop it. In fact, you don’t even know why you’re feeling this way. It’s foreign to you, but you know it’s not coming from Renjun. This is all coming from inside you.
“Stunning in every way,” Renjun finishes quietly. His voice is barely a whisper, but you can hear it clearly, as if it’s right in your ear. 
Digging your nails into your palms, you let out a low whistle. “That was very...specific.”
“Afraid of a challenge?” he counters, smirking. 
His banter makes you grin. It’s almost enough to make you forget the feeling in your stomach. You wonder why you keep getting worked up by yourself. Maybe the summer heat is getting to you, and you really are on the verge of having a stroke. 
“It’s like you don’t even know me,” you retort dramatically, clinging onto his arm again. “Alright, let’s go!” 
“Where?” 
“The Training Grounds!” 
“Why there?” His nose crinkles. 
“Your ideal type is as Ares kid as it can get,” you say, snorting. “So, obviously, we’re going to their turf.” 
“Ares children are obnoxious and arrogant,” Renjun scoffs. 
“And you’re a smartass, so it’ll be fine,” you say breezily. 
He rolls his eyes, muttering under his breath. 
“You’re such a drama queen. Besides, it won’t be only Ares kids there,” you point out.
He shrugs in a noncommittal manner but ultimately lets you lead him to the Training Grounds. When you arrive, as expected, it’s mainly Ares kids there. For people who aren’t used to it, the Training Grounds could be mistaken for a battle royale, judging by how vicious it can get at times. Even though it’s just a bunch of sweaty young adults angrily swinging swords at dummies and each other. 
Stroking your chin, you begin to scan the area. It’s only when your eyes fall onto Park Sooyoung, the daughter of Ares that’s infamous for making men cower to their knees, that the lightbulb goes off in your head. 
“What about Sooyoung?” you ask excitedly, tugging on Renjun’s shirt. 
He frowns. “She hates me.”
“You don’t know that,” you say.
“She tried to throw a dagger at my head once,” he states flatly. 
“She does that to everyone,” you dismiss. “I think you two would work well together.”
“Please, enlighten me.” 
“She could be the brawn to your brain. She’s super rambunctious, while you’re more reserved and can keep her in check. But she’ll be able to teach you how to live a little, and you’ll just perfectly balance each other out. You know, that whole opposites attract and enemies to lovers trope,” you explain. 
“Enemies to lovers?” He raises an eyebrow.
“Yes,” you say dreamily, “You two start off absolutely despising each other, but neither of you can fight the tension building and eventually just get entangled in the throes of your passion!”
“Okay, Fifty Shades of Grey, calm down,” Renjun says, scrunching up his features in disgust. “Stop writing fanfiction in your head and come back to the real world.”
You glare at him for killing your vibe. “Just go and try to talk to her.”
“I don’t want to be mauled.” There’s actually a small glimmer of fear in his eyes. 
“Don’t be ridiculous. She’s not gonna kill you. At least not in front of everyone like this,” you reassure him. 
“So you’re admitting that there is a possibility she would kill me.”
Fed up, you snatch his wrist and begin dragging him. He makes noises of protest, but you keep a vice-like grip on him. Sooyoung is sparring with some of her brothers (and frankly, handing their asses to them). You’re envious of how beautiful she is even with sweat dripping from her chin and tendrils of hair stuck to her neck. Her face is flushed with effort, but it makes her look like a peach. 
However, don’t ever judge a book by its cover because she proceeds to lift one of her brothers, as if she’s bench pressing him, and tosses him aside like a rag doll. He comes flying directly toward you, but Renjun wraps an arm around your shoulders and yanks you aside with his surprisingly quick reflexes. Sooyoung’s brother lands with a hard thud, right beside your feet.
Renjun holds you tightly against him as he scowls at Sooyoung, who is smirking at him. Your heart is pounding wildly, though you’re not sure if it’s from the adrenaline rush of one of Sooyoung’s brothers hurling towards you like a projectile or the way Renjun is cradling you to him.
“Are you out of your mind?” Renjun demands, livid. 
“Sorry about that,” Sooyoung says, trying to hide her amusement. 
“No, you’re not. You did it on purpose,” Renjun snaps. 
“Remove head from ass, Huang. If I didn’t think you’d be able to get her out of the way in time, I wouldn’t have done it,” Sooyoung responds, sounding bored.
“What if I hadn’t? Your tank of a brother would’ve knocked Y/N out,” Renjun says angrily, gritting his teeth. “And trust me, she doesn’t need any more screws loose than she already has.”
“Hey!” you chime in, offended. His arm falls from your shoulders and back to his side when you give him a dirty look. He seems a little surprised, whether the reason be from your sudden protest or how long his arm’s been around you. 
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Sooyoung says, rolling her eyes. “Anyways, what do you want? You’re here to see me, right?” 
Renjun opens his mouth to say something, but you slap a hand over his mouth. “Renjun thinks you’re really pretty and wants to train with you.”
Perhaps you could have delivered it in a smoother manner.
“Mm?” He stares at you with wide, horrified eyes. He’s trying to speak, but it’s all muffled by your palm. 
Sooyoung snorts, crossing her arms and tilting her head. “Does he now?” 
“Yes. He’s just too shy to admit it,” you lie through your teeth. 
“Mhm, I’m sure he is,” she laughs. “What’s the actual reason you’re here?”
“Whatever are you talking about? That is the reason,” you answer sweetly. “So, what do you say? Wanna spar him?”
“Mmmmmm!” Renjun has you by the wrist, trying to remove your hand from his mouth, but you won’t budge. 
“You must think I was born yesterday,” Sooyoung sighs. “You’re trying to set us up together, right? Glad to see you’re sticking to your whole matchmaking schtick.”
“Maybe,” you admit sheepishly. “Also, it is not a schtick! I have a natural affinity for finding people that are compatible with each other, like all Aphrodite children, and it is my duty to use that ability in order to help others.”
Despite how proud you look, Sooyoung and Renjun exchange knowing glances, and she reaches forward and gives him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “Stray strong, soldier.”
“Mm,” he responds, sounding tired.
You watch the interaction with a baffled expression. Neither one of them seems intent on providing any context for you. You’re hit with another pang of jealousy. 
“While it would be my utmost honor to be Renjun’s girlfriend, I will have to decline. Firstly, because I would definitely murder him by our third date tops. And secondly, because I already have a girlfriend,” Sooyoung says nonchalantly. 
Your hand goes limp and falls off of Renjun’s mouth, finally freeing him. Your jaw is hanging wide open, a direct invitation for flies. The both of you just stand there and gawk at her. 
“What?” you exclaim, grabbing her by the shoulders. “You have a girlfriend?”
Most Aphrodite kids are just naturally aware of all the couples at Camp Half-Blood whenever they see them, but you make it a point to keep tabs on them so you can avoid incidents like this while you’re trying to find matches for others. Clearly, you’ve missed one. 
“Ye—”
“Who is it?” you demand, resisting the urge to shake her until her bones rattle. “How could I not know about it?”
“Well, that was the goal,” Sooyoung explains, “we want it to be a secret.”
You’re gripping her so tightly that the tips of your fingers have turned white, though you’re sure it doesn’t bother her since she’s pure muscle. You want to know who it is so badly, but you respect her privacy, so you decide to let it go. Even if you really don’t want to.
“I understand,” you say solemnly, begrudgingly releasing her. Your body is slightly twitchy as you fight to control your need to snoop. 
“You look like you’re about to pass out,” Renjun cuts in, half-joking and half-concerned. 
“Today has not gone well for me,” you sigh, spirit crushed by the sudden news and exhausted because of your weird mood swings that have been happening. “I’m hot, and I just want a nice, cold shower, followed by some nice, cold ice cream, and then followed by a nice, warm nap. We’ll try this again tomorrow.” 
“Want me to walk you back to your cabin?” Renjun asks. 
You nod, shoulders slumped in defeat. “Sorry to bother you, Sooyoung.”
“No problem. You’ll get ‘em next time,” Sooyoung says, trying to sound encouraging. 
As you turn to pitifully walk away, you notice Sooyoung and Renjun exchange another look in your peripheral. She gives him a thumbs up and he smiles wryly before he also turns to follow you.
It’s just the icing on the cake for your awful day. 
The walk back to your cabin is pretty quiet; Renjun sensing your foul mood and making the wise decision of letting you pout all by your lonesome (not that he’s much of a chatterbox anyway). You’re looking down at your feet as you walk, and he kindly navigates you through crowds and moves you out of the way when campers run by. This is something Renjun does often, since you have a tendency to not pay much attention to your surroundings on a regular basis, so you don’t even think twice about it. 
When you finally arrive, Renjun gives you a comforting pat on the back. “See you tomorrow. I’ll meet you here. Do not barge into my cabin and give me another rude awakening like you did today.”
You give him a strained smile and wink. “No promises.”
Of course, your act doesn’t fool him. He sighs. “Did it really bother you that much that Sooyoung managed to hide her relationship from you? It’s not like you to be so down after one failure.”
Honestly, that’s the least of your concerns right now. Did it hurt your pride? Yes, but you’ve recovered from a wounded pride countless times. 
What bothers you the most right now is the vile jealousy that you’ve stored in your heart. How shitty you felt when he was describing his ideal type (and how absolutely lovestruck he looked), or how bitter you were when you saw that Sooyoung and Renjun were in on something you weren’t. It eats away at you, seemingly within moments, before you even know what’s happening. But why? Where is it all coming from?
This is Renjun you’re talking about. Renjun, your best friend. Renjun, the one who’s always there for you. Renjun, the closest person to you other than your bloodline. 
Or so you thought. 
The pain that you felt from him earlier still haunts you, even if it’s faint. You’ve always seen Renjun as someone you can confide in, no matter what, yet it doesn’t appear like he feels the same towards you. In fact, an irrational part of you thinks you may be the one he’s trying to keep it from. 
And the paranoid part of you thinks Sooyoung knows about it too.
You know it’s horrible to think that, but you can’t control it. Renjun isn’t required to tell you everything he feels just because you do, not that it doesn’t hurt any less. It just bugs you that there could be someone closer to him than even you, which is an incredibly toxic mindset to have. You’re upset by the fact that you’re so possessive of him, yet you can’t seem to let him go either. 
I guess it’s alright if it’s Sooyoung, you admit to yourself, since she has a girlfriend.
You blink.
Wait, what? 
Before you can figure out what the hell your brain meant by that, you feel Renjun place his hand on your forehead. It jars you from your thoughts and you come back to reality, where Renjun is staring at you with furrowed brows as he checks your temperature. 
“Are you sure you’re feeling alright? You’ve been spacing out all day,” he says, clearly worried.
“F-Fine!” you answer way too enthusiastically. “Sorry, what were you saying?”
“Don’t worry about it,” he dismisses. “Just go get some rest.”
“Aye, aye, captain,” you nod hurriedly, giving him a two-finger salute. “I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early! Don’t oversleep!” 
“Yeah, yeah,” he waves you off, smiling. You can tell he’s still concerned, but your brighter attitude relieves him just a tad. “Oh, and Y/N?” 
“Mhm?”
“I forgot to mention one more trait for my ideal type.”
“What is it?” You wish you had never asked him in the first place. Just when your mood was getting a little better, it sours just as quickly. 
“Dense,” he adds. 
You give him a puzzled look. “Huh?”
“I want her to be dense,” he states simply. 
“No way,” you argue, when his words finally register. “How is it gonna work out if both of you are dense as hell?”
“Who knows? Maybe our denseness will cancel each other out, and we’ll fall in love instantly,” he shrugs.
“Of course. PEMDAS and shit,” you jokingly agree.
“Exactly,” he says, nodding with a deadpan expression. 
You laugh loudly—a big belly laugh that makes Renjun beam. The tension eases off his features, and he seems much more reassured. Your heart swells at how hard he’s trying to make sure you’re okay, not that he would ever admit that.
“Okay, for real now. Bye, Y/N.” He gives you a lazy wave before walking away, shattering your touching moment. 
You huff at how he turned around without even letting you respond, though you still wave back (even if he can’t see it), and go back into your cabin. The moment the door closes behind you, you make a beeline for the shower. Peeling off your sweat-soaked clothes, you close your eyes in bliss when the cold water hits you. 
As you let the water run down your body, you begin to feel more and more like a petulant child that just threw the biggest tantrum ever. You’re embarrassed that you overreacted like that and got so emotional for no reason. You chide yourself for being selfish. Just because you’re upset that Renjun doesn’t confide in you the way you do him, it doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t have someone. You should be happy for him when he finds a person he can fully open up to, even more so than you. Isn’t that what you’re trying to do for him right now? 
You shut the water off before slapping your cheeks hard, giving yourself a wake up call. Resolving to be more composed tomorrow, you decide to just take a nap for now as you change into comfortable clothes and dry your hair off. 
When you get to your bed, you see a small bowl of ice cream on your nightstand. Luckily, your shower didn’t take too long, so it’s still relatively frozen. It’s two scoops of chocolate, which is your favorite. You’re so excited that you almost miss the note tucked underneath the bowl. 
don’t know when you’re going to get out of the shower, so this might just be soup by the time you’re out. if that’s the case, drink it anyways since i went through the trouble of getting it. 
You snort. It’s so like Renjun to write a tactless note like this and not even bother signing off on it. If he’s going to be sweet, he shouldn’t ruin the moment by doing what he always does—opening his mouth (figuratively, in this case). 
But it’s not enough to wipe that big grin off your face, as you carefully fold up the note and put it in your drawer. 
He’s not cute at all.
Tumblr media
ও DAY TWO.
The next day is about as successful as the first one, if not worse.
You had woken up with a game plan. Before you went to meet Renjun, you drafted up a list of campers that matched his ideal type (for the most part, since he was a little too specific). The goal was to narrow it down to a couple names before trying to march in head first, since that went disastrously yesterday. 
Unfortunately, instead of things going smoothly like you had hoped, you find yourself banging your head against a tabletop repeatedly.
You and Renjun are currently sitting in the library of the Athena Cabin, having been there for almost an hour now. He’s nearly eliminated your entire list that you so meticulously curated this morning. You’re starting to wonder if he’s purposefully being difficult just to see you riled up.
Renjun watches you hit your head a couple more times before outstretching his hand, catching your forehead in his palm and blocking you from hitting it against the table again. “Stop before you bleed all over the table, and I get stuck scrubbing it out later.”
You raise your head to glare at him. “I’ll show you bleeding all over the table.”
He doesn’t even blink at your threat, infuriatingly unfazed. “Are you done with your list already?”
“No,” you grumble, “I still have some left.”
“So, if I’m not interested in the rest, does that mean we’re done for the day?” he asks.
“Haha,” you say wryly, “you wish. If you don’t pick one, then I’ll just go through the list myself and pick one that I think is the most compatible with you.”
“Damn it.”
“Okay, what about Hyun Seunghee? She’s an Apollo kid. Super talented and sweet, one of the most adorable people on the planet, and loves art just like you,” you suggest.
“Seunghee is a very sweet girl,” Renjun agrees. “But I don’t think I have the energy to keep up with her. She’s even bubblier and more hyperactive than you, and I can barely manage dealing with you.” 
Sighing, you cross out Seunghee’s name on your list while simultaneously flipping off Renjun with your other hand. “Okay, what about Lee Mijoo? She’s one of my sisters, and honestly, she’s way out of your league but I’ll keep her in the running for now.” 
You figure it’s best to not mention that, despite being way out of his league, Mijoo has expressed some very...explicit interest in Renjun before. It’ll make things awkward if they do end up talking, and you aren’t one to expose your own sister like that.
“Ew, no way, that’s weird,” Renjun says, scrunching up his nose.
“What, why?”
“I don’t want to date anyone related to you. That would make us sort of related too, and the last thing I want is to be your brother.” He spits out the word like it’s a stale piece of gum that he’s been chewing for four hours.
“First of all, slow down, tiger. You would have to marry her for us to be related. This is just a casual thing. No one said anything about marriage. Second of all, that is so mean! Why wouldn’t you want to be in-laws with me?” you demand, offended.
“Don’t most people enter relationships with the intention of spending the rest of their lives with each other?” he asks, skillfully dodging your question. “I won’t date someone if I think we’re just going to breakup down the road.”
There’s a beat of silence as you stare at him with wonder. Your lips curl into a gentle smile, and you can’t hide the adoration in your expression. Renjun truly is all bark and no bite. Who would’ve guessed there’s such a lovely and pure person behind his sharp tongue?
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks warily. You swear you can see a little pink dusting the shells of his ears and the tip of his nose.
“It’s just...you’re much more of a hopeless romantic than I initially thought, Huang Renjun,” you say teasingly. 
Now, you can definitely tell he’s embarrassed. He mumbles a “shut up” under his breath, but you can barely hear it.
“Don’t put so much pressure on yourself,” you advise, “it’s totally natural to date and breakup. You can love someone with all of your heart, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be your life partner. Loosen up, my friend, and just have fun! Fall in love recklessly, and don’t think about anything else! That’s what youth is all about!”
You expect him to make fun of you for lecturing him like you’re centuries old, when the both of you can barely label yourselves as adults, but he doesn’t. 
Instead, he’s gazing at you with a deep melancholy in his eyes. You’re sitting right across from him, but the way he looks at you makes it seem like you’re galaxies away. Your gut wrenches at how hurt and helpless he seems, like he’s yearning for something that is out of his reach. 
Time seems to slow down as the two of you stare into each other’s eyes, as if you’re both entranced. It’s hard to tell how long you stay like that, but it feels like you’ve woken up in the middle of a sweet dream when Renjun finally breaks eye contact. You’re slightly disoriented, even though it’s probably only been a few seconds.
Clearing his throat, Renjun mutters, “Anyways, don’t put anymore of your siblings on the list.”
You take a moment to gather your thoughts before sighing. “Fine. But now I’ve run out of names on my list.”
“Well, gosh darn it, what a shame,” he says in a terrible Southern accent while attempting to get up. “Look’s like that’s a wrap for today!” 
“Not so fast,” you cut in, snapping your fingers at him to sit back down. “We’re not done yet.” 
He groans but reluctantly obeys, dramatically throwing his head into his arms when he does.
“Behave while I go through this list again,” you order, putting stars next to names that you’re going to force Renjun to reconsider with. 
“Now, you’re making me want to hit my head against the table,” he complains, voice muffled by his arms.
You ignore his whining, focusing on your current task at hand. Just as you finish narrowing it down to a select few, someone brushes past you and it’s like you hear angels singing. Seo Soojin, daughter of Nemesis and actual hotness personified, walks by. 
Soojin is relatively new to Camp Half-Blood, having arrived for the first time last year. You don’t know much about her personality because she keeps to herself and her tight-knit circle of friends for the most part. You know for a fact that she’s a far cry from Renjun’s type, but you’re starting to think he doesn’t really know what he wants—seeing that he shot down every single person on your list already. She will be a nice change of pace for him.
“What about Soojin?” you ask in a hushed whisper, leaning forward. 
“Who?” Renjun looks around, not lowering his voice or trying to be subtle in the slightest.
“Shhh!” you hiss, grabbing him by his shirt and yanking him forward. You pull a little too hard and end up knocking your foreheads together. 
“Ow! Why is your head made out of cast iron?” Renjun winces. He tries to lean back, but you don’t let him escape. 
“Shut up! You’re the blockhead, asshole,” you protest, getting offended for the second time. “Anyways, Seo Soojin. The girl over there. The one with the bangs, big lips, and is hot as fuck?” 
He squints, finally zeroing in on her. “What about her?”
“That’s what I’m asking you, dipshit!” 
Renjun shrugs noncommittally—an action that you’ve grown extremely accustomed to during these past two days, an action that makes you want to rip your own hair out. “She seems nice.” 
“Well, try and talk to her then,” you say, spelling it out for him. “You know, so you can see if the two of you will hit it off or not.”
He gives you a look. It’s the same look that a twelve-year-old kid gives his mother when she makes him take a picture in front of a national monument that he doesn’t know anything about, nor does he care to. However, she insists, so he reluctantly trudges over to it and takes the picture—hands firmly balled up by his sides and his lips pressed into a hard line, no matter how much his mom tells him to smile.
So, in other words, Renjun looks like he wants to crawl into a hole and die.
“Are you sure that you’re human?” you ask incredulously. You’re not even being sarcastic at this point; you genuinely want to know how he is able to feel absolutely nothing for women that could rival the goddesses themselves.
“Technically—”
“If you say that you’re only half-human because we’re demigods, you’re going to get a pen through the jugular,” you warn, pointing your pen at him. 
“Am I wrong, though?” 
“You know what I mean, you smartass. Are you or are you not capable of feeling romantic attraction towards another person?” you demand.
“I am,” he simply says.
“That’s it? That was the most robotic answer I’ve ever heard in my life!” you exclaim. 
“What else am I supposed to say?” he asks, throwing his arms up. 
“Have you experienced any blackouts recently, like woken up without memory of the past twenty-four hours? Have you checked your body for any chip implants under your skin?” You eye him suspiciously. “Been beamed up by any UFOs? Gone somewhere haunted?” 
Renjun gives you a pointed look, sighing. “While it is touching to know that you do, in fact, listen to me whenever I talk about topics I’m interested in, this is not how I wanted you to apply your knowledge.”
“You know, now that I think about it, you sure talked about alien abductions a lot,” you say, stroking a fake beard on your chin. “Could it be because you were actually abducted by aliens and got brainwashed into gathering information about us demigods, but they took away your ability to feel emotions so they wouldn’t get in the way of your mission?” 
You pause, waiting for his reaction. Renjun is very obviously trying not to smile, with his chin being propped up by his palm and his fingers covering his mouth. “Please, continue.” 
“But ultimately, that will be your fatal flaw and the downfall of your mission because you can’t empathize like humans can,” you finish dramatically. 
“Alright, let’s say I was brainwashed by aliens. Why would I then draw more attention to myself by talking about the very thing that happened to me? Wouldn’t that be counterproductive?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Reverse psychology,” you explain, “you talk about them, so you won’t seem suspicious.” 
Renjun exhales sharply before looking down at his feet. You can see his lips twitching as he tries not to laugh, though you’re pretty sure that exhale from before was a small laugh. You’re grinning, despite the fact that you’re also trying to keep up your detective act.
“I’m kind of wish I had been abducted by aliens right about now. Maybe brainwashed me would be a little more courageous,” he mutters under his breath. You’re not sure if you were meant to hear that, but you do anyways. 
“That sounds exactly like something someone abducted by an alien would say!” you say in an accusatory tone, pointing a finger at him. He rolls his eyes, but a tiny smile eventually makes its way to his lips. 
You gasp loudly, grabbing his face and pulling it towards your own. He makes a small noise of surprise, eyes as wide as UFO saucers. Your faces are so close that your noses are slightly brushing up against one another, but you’re not paying attention to that right now. 
“Or you could be a lizard person,” you whisper, “you know, the ones that people think take the place of government officials.”
“They’re called reptilian humanoids,” Renjun corrects. His breath (which smells like the blueberry muffin he had this morning) rustles your baby hairs. 
“Your eyes are glowing yellow, and your pupils are turning into slits,” you tease.
“Are they, now?” 
No, they aren’t. His eyes are a cool, icy gray, like most Athena children. It’s always been a trait you’ve been jealous of. They sparkle like stars, or freshly fallen snow. They change according to his mood too. For example, when he gets angry, there are no stars. Instead of twinkling, they flash like lightning. His eyes are truly the window to his soul; they’re one of your favorite things about him.
Renjun slightly leans into your touch, and it finally hits you how close he is. You’re cupping his face with both hands, tilting his chin up, and it looks like you’re about to...kiss him.
 It seems you’re not the only one who thinks so, because almost the entire library is gawking at you. Including Seo Soojin. She looks surprised, and slightly disgusted, by the two of you.
Oh.
You feel heat rise from your neck to your entire face.
Oh gods, they all think we’re a couple.
You recoil away from him, withdrawing your hands like your just burned yourself. “We have to get out of here.”
“What?” As always, Renjun doesn’t know what’s going on.
“Just come on,” you say quickly, grabbing his arm and dragging him out of the library. 
Your face burns for a long time after that, and you can no longer focus on anything else. In the end, you decide to call it a day after a few more half-hearted attempts to find more candidates for Renjun. When you come back to your cabin, you take another cold shower. 
You’re not sure what you’re so flustered by: the fact that you didn’t realize what you were doing or the fact that everyone in the library saw it.
Or the fact that you didn’t mind the notion of being mistaken for a couple with Renjun.
Tumblr media
ও DAY THREE.
You don’t meet bright and early with Renjun today. He demanded to sleep in this time, since he’s not an early riser to begin with and the past two days have sucked all the energy out of him. 
Which means you’re free until noon. You check the time—10 AM. 
Two hours to kill. 
You don’t feel like getting all sweaty and hot, so any activity outside is out. You really don’t want to be judged by more Athena kids in the Arts and Crafts Center without Renjun. So, you decide to head back to the library, despite how yesterday went.
You check out a book that goes into depth about some of the most believable conspiracy theories; Renjun actually read it a while ago (and totally geeked out about it to you), but who would have thought that you would end up reading it too? Past you definitely would’ve laughed in your face if you told her that. 
Once you get back to your cabin, you curl up in your covers and begin to read. You get about two chapters in when you hear the door open and Jeong Jaehyun, one of your brothers, walks in. He’s wearing his orange t-shirt that’s soaked with sweat, and his hair is dripping from perspiration too. His pale skin glistens, and he looks like a sweaty and sparkly vampire. 
“Hey, kid,” Jaehyun says, nodding at you. He isn’t that much older than you, but he’s gotten into the habit of calling you kid for some reason.
“This is a surprise. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you come back from training before 5 PM,” you tease.
He lets out a low whistle. “Way too hot out there. I needed to get some A/C before I had a heatstroke—is that a book in your hand?”
“What about it?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.
Jaehyun snorts. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you near a book, much less read one.”
“Rude. I am expanding my horizons,” you retort. 
“It seems so. What was up with you and Renjun at the library yesterday?” Jaehyun plops down on the edge of your bed. 
“How do you even know about that?” you ask, wrinkling your nose. “And go take a shower first before you sit on my bed! You stink!” 
“Do I?” He waggles his eyebrows and throws his arms around you in a bear hug. You try your best to shove him off, but he has a hold on your like a python. 
“I hate you,” you say when he finally pulls back, sniffing your shirt to make sure you still smelled like your fabric softener. “Anyways, how’d you find out about the library thing?”
“Rumors spread fast around here, dear sister. But, seriously, what’s the deal?”
“There is no deal, Jaehyun,” you sigh, closing your book. “It’s all just a misunderstanding. We were joking around while I was trying to find a potential girlfriend for him there—which, by the way, is going horribly. I don’t think he feels romantic attraction properly like everybody else.”
“Oh right. I forgot you roped Renjun into your matchmaking thing,” Jaehyun says, disappointed. “Damn, and here I thought he finally made a move.”
Your head snaps up to give him a quizzical look. “What?”
“What?” He tilts his head.
“What did you mean by that, the part where you said you thought Renjun finally made a move?” you ask. 
Jaehyun stares at you for a couple of seconds, an astonished expression on his face. “Do you really not know?” 
“Would I be asking if I didn’t know?” you shoot back, annoyed that he still hasn’t answered you. 
“Gods, all this time, I thought you were just pretending like you didn’t know because you didn’t want to make things awkward,” he continues, shaking his head.
“Jaehyun, what are you talking about?” you demand.
“Renjun is in love with you, Y/N.”
You gape at him. It’s a good thing you’re already sitting down because you definitely would have fallen on your ass if you had been standing.
“Th-Th-That’s impossible,” you stammer, like an absolute idiot. “There’s n-n-no way.”
“Oh, come on, lil’ sis. He’s never even tried to hide it. He’s so obvious about it that I seriously don’t understand how you didn’t know,” Jaehyun snorts. “You don’t even need to have powers to see that he’s head over heels for you.”
“But—but how? I would’ve sensed it!” you exclaim.
“You’re so sharp when it comes to other people, but you’re dense as hell when it comes to yourself,” Jaehyun points out, shrugging. “You just never paid attention, Y/N.”
You don’t respond. Your mind is a mess, a jumbled mishmash of emotions. You’re feeling so many things right now, and you can’t pinpoint any of it.. You wouldn’t be surprised if you passed out.
“Do you like him back?” Jaehyun asks softly. 
“I—no! Of course not. Renjun’s my best friend. If I liked him, why would I be trying to find him a girlfriend right now? That’d be stupid of me. Yeah, that’d be so dumb. Why would I do that?” You’re rambling now, and it’s glaringly obvious that you’re trying to convince yourself rather than Jaehyun (and you know he can see it too).
“It doesn’t seem like you’re trying that hard, though.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” you ask defensively. 
“The Y/N I know spends all hours of the day gathering information on her potential matches and making sure even the tiniest detail goes according to her master plan that she’s already drafted inside her head. She wouldn’t be sitting here, leisurely reading a book, especially if it’s going horribly. She would be doing everything in her power to get things back on track,” Jaehyun notes. “Ask yourself. Do you really want Renjun to get a girlfriend?” 
“Wh-Why wouldn’t I?” You ask him, hoping he knows the answer, because you sure as hell don’t know. 
“Because he won’t always be there anymore. He won’t have time to let you constantly drag him into your antics anymore. You won’t be his number one anymore. His girlfriend will be his first priority, of course, as she should. Think long and hard about that, Y/N. Will you be okay with that?”
“I—” The words seem to die inside your throat as you come to realization that you might not be okay with that at all. You’ve always gone to Renjun for everything and knowing that he may not always be there makes you feel lost, like a compass without it’s True North. You’re being selfish again, but it seems like you’ve gotten into the habit of acting selfish whenever it comes to Renjun. You’ve let yourself grow too reliant on him. 
“Why do you care so much anyways?” Now, you’re deflecting. “Why did you tell me all of this?”
“Because you’re my little sister and I care about you. I want you to be one hundred percent sure of your own feelings, so your heart doesn’t get broken. The only reason I didn’t say anything sooner was because I thought you were already sure. Take some time and think about it, Y/N. It’ll be better for your friendship with Renjun if everything is crystal clear between the two of you,” Jaehyun advises, giving you a pat on the shoulder. He gets up, presumably to take a shower, and leaves.
You barely notice him go.
You sit in your bed, staring blankly at the wall, until Renjun finally arrives. He’s still a little groggy, probably having woken up ten minutes ago before coming. His clothes are a little rumpled and his hair isn’t styled, with his bangs flopping in his eyes. Normally, you would have made fun of him and mussed it up, but you have other things on your mind as of the moment. 
Like always, he can tell something is up. He gets that concerned look on his face—the one where he has a deep crease between his brows and his rosy lips are turned downwards. 
“What’s wrong?” He places a hand on your arm, lowering his head so he can’t get a better look at your face. 
Physical contact with Renjun has always been something normal for you, but suddenly, you’re now acutely aware of everything about him. You can feel the pad of every one of his fingertips on your bare skin, the warmth of his palm, and just how easily his touch makes your body relax. Even when your brain is a whirlwind of thoughts, your muscles, like clockwork, instantly loosen up with just a brush of his hand.
“We need to talk,” you say shakily, moving away from him. There’s a flash of hurt in his eyes as his hand falls to his side. You feel bad, but the longer he’s touching you, the more confused you get. 
You lead him a secluded area behind the Dining Pavilion, and he follows wordlessly. He waits for you to speak as the two of you stand there. Now that you’re here, you don’t really know what to say anymore. 
“Are you in love with me?” you blurt before you can stop yourself. “Jaehyun said—”
“Yes,” Renjun answers. If he’s surprised or taken aback whatosever, he doesn’t show it. In fact, it seems like he knew this was coming. There’s no fear or hesitation in his eyes. He’s unwavering in his answer, and you wonder how he can always be so certain of his feelings. 
“How long?” you ask tentatively. 
“Probably when we first met,” he says. 
“Why?” 
“Are you asking me why I’m in love with you?” He raises an eyebrow. 
You’re not sure. You’re not sure of anything anymore.
When you don’t answer, Renjun looks at you for a very long time. “You make me happy, Y/N. No matter how shitty things get, no matter how much I want to ram my fist through a wall, I see you and it’s like I can finally take a breath again. When you smile at me, I forget about everything that was bothering me. You and your daily shenanigans are the best part of my day. You’re obnoxious and frustrating and exhausting, but I fucking love you for it. I’m at your beck and call; I’d do anything for you. Whenever you’re happy, I become happy too. Nothing else matters to me anymore. That’s why.”
“You should have told me,” you say, voice cracking. Your heart is singing with joy, and you want to cry with relief. He talks about you like you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and you so desperately want to be exactly that for him. You’re not confused anymore. Everything has finally become clear for you now. You truly wonder how you managed not to notice anything at all—whether it be your own feelings or his. 
“I knew it would upset you,” he murmurs. 
But then it hits you. 
You can’t even fathom how much Renjun has had to endure throughout the years. He’s loved you all this time, yet he hasn’t said a word—out of consideration for you. In everything he’s ever done during the course of your friendship, he has always put you first. Even if it hurts him, he was willing to withstand it for your sake.
Yet all you’ve done for him is force him into letting you try to find a him a girlfriend, despite the fact that he was against it, and he had to pretend like he was okay as he watched you parade around like a fool telling him to love someone else. 
You don’t deserve to be loved by someone like Huang Renjun.
You don’t deserve to love someone like Huang Renjun.
Suddenly, you begin to feel nauseous—probably sickened by guilt. Black spots dot your vision, and your legs start wobbling. Your body collapses only moments after, but luckily, Renjun manages to catch you before you can hit the pavement. 
“Y/N? Y/N? Hey, talk to me,” you can hear him say very faintly. He’s cradling you against his chest, and you bury your face in it. Your head is spinning, but you feel surprisingly grounded in his arms.
Has he always smelled this nice? His scent is a mixture of books and sandalwood, and you’re basically crushing your nose against his chest like an absolute pervert. You don’t feel embarrassed because you know you can blame it on being sick later. 
Speaking of sick, even though Renjun smells so good, you proceed to lean forward and vomit all over him and yourself.
Once again, you don’t feel that embarrassed because you black out soon after.
Tumblr media
ও DAY FOUR.
You wake up tucked nicely under your covers. Much to your relief, you’re also in clean clothes—your favorite set of heart pajamas. Unfortunately, that’s the only bright side to your current state.
It feels like you haven’t had a sip of water in ten years, and your lips feel like they’ve been glued together. Even the tiniest movement makes your head feel like someone is drilling into your skull. Your body feels twenty times heavier, and not to mention, you just generally feel like shit because of what happened with Renjun.
“Oh my gods, you look so creepy right now. Who just lays there with their eyes wide open? If you’re awake, you should say something,” a voice chides. Turning your head just a smidgen (and wincing because of the pain), you see your sister, Lee Mijoo. She has a glass of water in her hand, setting it on your nightstand.
“How long have I been asleep?” you ask hoarsely. 
“Let’s see. Renjun brought you back at like 2 PM yesterday, and it’s now 8 PM, so...thirty hours?” Mijoo counts on her fingers. 
“Fuck,” you groan.
“Heatstroke will do that to ya,” she says, making a clicking noise with her tongue.
“I had a heatstroke?”
“Yep. It was a pretty nasty one too. You really did a number all over Renjun’s shirt. It was like a vomit Picasso,” Mijoo says, sounding kind of impressed.
Your face burns from humiliation. 
“Here, sit up and drink this water,” she orders, helping you get up. Your head is screaming in pain, like a million little jabs to your brain. You down the water in one big gulp, not realizing just how dehydrated you were until your lips hit the water. 
“So, you and Renjun, huh?” Mijoo asks sheepishly.
If you still had water in your mouth, you would’ve spat it out. “What?”
“Jaehyun told me everything,” she explains.
Traitor, you think to yourself.
“Don’t be mad at him. Renjun looked like a kicked puppy when we saw him. There’s no way I wouldn’t have asked questions,” she says. “Did you break his heart, little sister?”
You sigh, putting the cup back on your nightstand. “I hope not. His heart shouldn’t be broken by someone like me.”
“And what does that mean?”
“It means that he shouldn’t concern himself with me,” you sigh.
“Well, he does. He came to check up on you like a billion times. I had to ban him from coming back until tomorrow,” Mijoo snorts. “He’s a really good guy, you know.”
“Trust me,” you say, rubbing your temples. “I know that better than anyone.”
“So, what’s stopping you? I would be all over that.”
You glare at her before letting out another sigh. “He’s too good for me, Mijoo.” 
“That’s for him to decide, no?” She raises an eyebrow.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m just saying the truth,” you say. 
“So, you won’t mind if I date him?” she asks seriously.
Your face falls instantly, and Mijoo doubles over laughing. 
“Geez, Y/N, you looked like you were about to claw my eyes out!” She wipes away a tear.
“Very funny,” you say dryly. 
“But what if I had been serious? What would you have done then?”
You don’t answer.
“I think you really, really like Renjun, Y/N,” Mijoo whispers loudly.
“I think I love him,” you whisper back.
“Then, you should probably tell him.”
“Yeah, I should,” you echo.
Ignoring the major migraine you have and the fact that you’re still a little sluggish, you throw your covers off of you. You don’t change out of your pajamas, simply throwing a thin cardigan over it. 
“Uh, Y/N, maybe you should wait until you feel be—”
“No, I have do it now before I change my mind,” you cut her off, slipping on your tennis shoes.
You hear Mijoo call after you, but you’re already out of the door. The Athena Cabin isn’t too far from the Aphrodite Cabin, so the walk is short. Much to your surprise once you’re inside, he isn’t there.
Grabbing the nearest Athena kid you see, you ask, “Where’s Renjun?”
“Um, I think he went to the amphitheater?” 
The amphitheater is a bit further, so you promptly release and thank the kid, before taking off. You’re not sure if running is recommended right after a heatstroke, but you do it anyways. By the time you get there, your cardigan is slipping off and you’re dripping with sweat from the humid summer heat. 
The amphitheater is extremely crowded, since there was probably a performance tonight. It’s actually a little hard to see over all the people. However, you find Renjun pretty quickly.
You see him standing off to the side, away from everyone else. He’s staring emptily at the stage, hands tucked inside his pockets. He looks so tired and dejected. His entire body slumps as if it’s too exhausting to stand up straight anymore. 
All because of you.
You wait until you finally catch your breath, opening your mouth to call out to him. But you don’t ever get the chance to because a girl walks up to him. You can’t tell who she is because the back of her head is facing you, and you see Renjun give her a small smile before saying something.
The girl laughs and turns her head, giving you a view of her side profile.
Hwang Yeji.
All of the courage you had inside you withers away like a dying flower.
You take a step back, accidentally bumping into someone behind you. They say something to you, but you don’t hear it at all. Instead, you turn on your heel and run. You run wildly and blindly, nearly whizzing right past your cabin. You’re barely able get back inside, eyes so blurry with tears that you can’t even see where you’re going. 
When Mijoo sees you, she doesn’t ask any questions. She just turns on the shower for you, extra hot. You step in without a word, letting the water mix with the tears running down your face. 
It’s not that you think Renjun is in love with Yeji now. In fact, you know he’s not. It’s just that they would be much better together. 
Yeji is one of the sweetest girls you know. She would treat Renjun with the kindness he deserves. She would consider his feelings first before making him do anything. She would make him happier than you ever could. They would be so compatible, and if you weren’t in love with Renjun yourself, you would definitely be trying to set the two up. 
After your shower, you change into the clothes Mijoo set out for you—an oversized sweater with cotton shorts—and miserably crawl back in bed. You’re so drained that you don’t even have the energy to drink the fresh glass of water on your nightstand. 
Everything hurt—mentally and physically. 
Your heart aches most of all. You’ve dated here and there, gone through some breakups, but nothing has ever been as painful as this. 
It’s a pain that consumes you whole. A pain that makes you want to scream but no sound will come out. A pain that makes you want to tear your heart out. A pain that makes you wish a bunch of aliens abducted you and brainwashed you into not feeling any emotions anymore.
It’s the same pain that you thought you felt from Renjun on the first day of when this all began.
And then the last puzzle piece finally falls into place.
That pain was never his.
It has always been your own.
You love Renjun too, and you’ve loved him for a very long time.
Tumblr media
ও DAY FIVE. 
“Come on, Y/N. At least get up to wash your face and brush your teeth,” Mijoo pleads.
You ignore her, pulling your covers over your head and turning away. It’s already well into the afternoon, but you’ve been feigning sick so you didn’t have to get up. The rest of the Aphrodite children have left and gone about their various activities throughout the camp, but Mijoo was tasked by Jaehyun to take care of you.
“If you just do that, I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the day,” she bargains. 
You think about it for a second before sighing, begrudgingly sitting up. You can see the pity dripping out of her eyes when you brush past her to head to the bathroom. When you see yourself in the mirror, you can understand why.
Puffy eyes, matted hair, tear-stained cheeks, and chapped lips. It’s too bad you hadn’t been wearing mascara last night because the only thing you’re missing in your hot mess look right now are those dark smudges right under your eyes.
You brush you teeth, which takes a lot more effort than you realize, and splash water on your face. Not even bothering to brush your hair, you head straight back to bed. True to her word, Mijoo doesn’t say anything else after that.
That is, until a couple hours later.
“Um, so I know I said I would leave you alone, but I think you might want to get up for this one, Y/N,” she whispers. You can’t see her because you back is turned to her, but you can tell by the tone of her voice that it’s important.
Irritated, you yank the covers off you and sit back up once again. “Mijoo, I—”
You almost choke on air when you realize Mijoo isn’t alone. Renjun is right beside her, looking not much better than you. He’s in a wrinkled t-shirt and sweatpants, his hair looks like he just ran his fingers through it and called it a day, and he has purple bags under his eyes.
“Can we talk?” Renjun asks. 
You hesitantly nod. 
“I’ll, uh, give you two some privacy,” Mijoo says awkwardly before turning around and running out of the cabin. 
You don’t know what to do now, staring down at your clasped hands. You hear Renjun take a step forward, and you feel the edge of your bed dip under his weight. There’s a sizable gap between you and where he’s sitting, but he’s still close enough for his scent to waft over to you. He smells wonderful like usual, and you hope you don’t stink in return.
“How are you feeling?” Renjun asks quietly.
“Like shit,” you answer honestly.
He laughs under his breath. “I know what you mean.” 
Your heart skips a beat, and you feel giddy all of a sudden when you see him smile. How did you manage to turn into a lovesick little schoolgirl over night? 
“I talked to Yeji last night at the amphitheater,” Renjun says after a moment. 
“I know,” you mutter. 
He blinks. “You do? How?” 
You’re not sure how to answer that.
“Well, that doesn’t matter right now,” he dismisses, taking in a deep breath. “I just wanted to tell you that I ran into her after I checked up on you, and she invited me to watch her performance. I wasn’t going to say yes at first, but I thought it would make you happy if I did. I tried, Y/N, I really tried. Yeji’s a nice girl, but I can’t help how I feel. I love you, Y/N. It’s always been you, and it always will be. I’m not asking you to love me back. I just want to stay by your side, as your friend, if you’ll allow it. I—”
“Stop,” you interrupt, scooting closer to him and putting a hand over his mouth. “I have to tell you something.” 
Renjun gives you a bewildered expression but nods nonetheless. 
You remove your hand from his mouth, before taking in a deep breath of your own. “You’re my best friend, Renjun, and I’ve always confided in you for everything. I took you for granted, and I only thought about myself. Deep down, I think I’ve always known about your feelings and my own, but I was afraid to dig for it. I was comfortable, and I didn’t want to ruin that, even though you were hurting. I’m truly sorry for treating you that way, Renjun. From now on, I want you to tell me everything—the good, the bad, the ugly. Don’t bottle things up for my sake.”
He goes to say something, but you hold up your hand to stop him.
“The reason why I knew you were with Yeji at the amphitheater last night is because I was there too. I went to look for you,” you finally confess. “When I decided I was going to find a girlfriend for you, I thought I would be able to step aside when you did find someone. But once I saw you with Yeji, I realized that I couldn’t do it. What I want with you isn’t a friendship anymore. I’m in love with you, Renjun. I have been for a long time, and it took me four, almost five, years to see that because I never thought to listen to my own heart until now. I don’t think I will ever deserve you in his lifetime, but I love you. I’m selfish and I’m a mess and I always cause trouble for you, but I—”
Renjun wraps an arm around your waist and tugs your body flush against his. His hand comes up to cradle your cheek as his thumb lightly runs across your cheekbone. You’re clutching his shirt like a lifeline, holding your breath, as you stare into those gray eyes.
“You,” he whispers, his lips barely brushing against yours, “are more than I deserve.”
He leans in and closes the infinitesimal gap between your mouths. He kisses you desperately, like you’ll disappear any moment, and you can feel all of the emotions he’s been locking away. His arms are wound tightly around you as he pulls you into his lap. You weave your hands through his hair, and he deepens the kiss. Your shirt rides up as you shift, and you feel his hand slip up your shirt and rest against your back. It ignites a fire within you and you want to tell him to take it off completely, but your lungs are screaming for air, so you have no choice but to pull away.
“Sorry,” Renjun says breathlessly, his chest heaving up and down, as he takes his hand out from under your shirt.
“No, I liked it,” you say, shaking your head and placing your forehead against his. “I just ran out of air.”
“No,” he disagrees, “I didn’t mean for it to go that far. It was supposed to be a sweet kiss, but I lost control.” 
He tugs your shirt back down and gently sets you back down next to him. You can’t help but giggle at how flustered he is. It’s not often that Athena children, especially Huang Renjun, loses control of their emotions like that. 
“I’m glad you find this amusing,” he says wryly, rolling his eyes. 
“You know,” you say in a sing-song voice, “I still technically never broke my streak. I found you a girlfriend within five days.”
“Does it really count if you ended up being my girlfriend?” He raises an eyebrow. “Seems a little unprofessional to me.” 
“Don’t be a sore loser,” you taunt.
“You also said you were going to make me fall in love so hard that I’d forget my own name,” he points out. “And I didn’t, so that’s false advertising. Unprofessional and unethical? I could sue you.” 
“You are so petty,” you squint. “And come on! That kiss didn’t make your forget? It made me forget!”
“I don’t like you that much.” He deadpans.
“Huang Renjun, you are so not cute!” 
Tumblr media
4 YEARS AGO.
“It’s not my best work, so you can have it,” Renjun says, trying to act casual about it.
You look so happy that Renjun would have painted a thousand more if you asked him to. You have a smile that could make the goddesses envious, and he can barely hear what you’re saying over the thumping of his own heart. He hopes his expression looks somewhat elusive because he’s not sure how to handle himself right now. 
You’re the prettiest girl he’s ever seen in his life. 
Renjun feels like he’s been shot by Eros’ arrow. He used to never understand why everyone was so wary of Eros; he’s basically just a mascot for corny Valentine’s Day cards. Apollo and his children avoid Eros and his children like the plague. Though granted, Eros did force Apollo to fall in love with Daphne and then she ended up turning into a tree. So, there is a little bit of history there. Point being, Renjun just didn’t get it.
But he think he does now.
“Thank you so much!” you say excitedly, extending your hand. “I’m Y/N!”
Renjun just stupidly stares at you. He’s not even sure if he’s worthy to touch your hand, but he also doesn’t want to be rude. He carefully shakes your hand, unable to say a word.
“What’s your name?” you ask, tilting your head. 
Is it possible for a person to be this adorable? he thinks to himself.
“I’m...” 
You’re looking at him, waiting expectantly.
“I’m...”
You’re still smiling, but he can see the slight confusion in your eyes. He’s never felt like more of a moron in his life. 
“Ren...jun,” he finally says after an extreme amount of concentration. 
You beam at him, and he wonders if he’s the only one seeing the ring of light surrounding you. There’s no way you aren’t Aphrodite’s favorite child.
“Nice to meet you, Renjun! Let’s be friends.” 
Renjun isn’t sure he wants to be just friends, but he finds himself nodding along anyways. 
Fuck, he thinks, I’m in trouble.
3K notes · View notes
Text
Hello! I have noticed some things about veganism in my time here on the glorious inter-web, so if that sort of discourse is of interest to you then please read on. I must include the general disclaimers that I am on mobile, so formatting will be atrocious, and that I, personally, am not currently vegan (although I was in the past). My main goal is to highlight the differences between veganism as a personal dietary choice, and as a social justice movement. My oppositions are to the latter as will be described below. I also have some nice things to say about vegans.
Vegans are generally chill people (as long as they don’t try to force other people to be vegan)
I honestly enjoy several vegan foods I’ve tried, including vegan versions of meat dishes. They’re fun and often quite creative.
Trying to make other people go vegan is kinda gross, especially when considering these following examples. (This is where things get spicy)
Telling indigenous people, for whom meat consumption/hunting/using animal products is an integral feature of their culture/survival, to stop doing these things is racist and fueled by white supremacy. A vegan’s animal product-free diet does not place them morally superior to people who eat meat, and to say that they are, especially in this context, indicates a poor understanding of racial dynamics and the history of colonization and cultural genocide. It’s not just about the food.
Telling impoverished people to go vegan is classist. Note the existence of food deserts in densely populated areas, where it is extremely difficult to find access to fresh produce/vegan alternatives for protein. This makes it a massive time commitment for an individual to go out of their way, driving long distances, to get expensive alternatives to what is more easily accessible closer to their home. If you, as a vegan, campaign for improved access to fresh produce and other vegan foods in these areas, and give these things to impoverished families, that’s another story as you’re removing the class barrier in accessing these goods. If you campaign for these people to go vegan and don’t provide accessible resources to do so, you are at best ignorant and at worst an asshole.
Many people have medical reasons for why they cannot be vegan. Individuals with poor digestion often find meat consumption gentler on the stomach as meat is easier to break down than very fibrous foods. People with soy and gluten intolerances/allergies would also be hard-pressed to find a consistent source of protein in a vegan diet. Vegan diets, while often delicious, are not any more or less healthy than any other diet. It is false to say that veganism is healthier for you, especially when considering the examples above.
Any claims that veganism is better for the environment or for social justice are also false. This is a strong claim I’m making, so let me explain further. Cashews, almonds, quinoa, and other vegan staples are grown in far-flung regions of the world, often harvested using slave labor and always shipped far distances on boats, planes, and other heavily-polluting modes of transport to get to the grocery store in Minnesota (or wherever) where you buy it. This is a lot of immoral exploitation of human life and heavy contribution to climate change in this process. There is no ethical consumption under capitalism, and it is almost impossible to completely eliminate exploitation and pollution from how we acquire the goods we need, so I am not trying to shame vegans for eating these foods. I do as well, on occasion. My point is, a steak that you buy from a farmer who lives a mile from you will always be better for the environment than quinoa shipped from Argentina. Just because you don’t eat animal products, does not mean that you are eliminating exploitation of life from your diet and to insinuate otherwise is misleading and untrue. I can also mention that vegan leather is simply plastic, and does not last as long as traditional leather. It will also decompose more slowly and be a heavier pollutant in the long run (as an example of an animal product other than meat).
4. Vegans are not morally superior for not eating or using animal products. We, as humans, are heterotrophs. We obtain the energy we need for survival by consuming living things. In order for us to maintain life, we must take life from other organisms. It’s an exchange of energy as old as the universe and being vegan does not exempt you from that energy exchange. Every grain of rice you consume was once a living plant, that you are now taking the energy from to sustain yourself. Humans are organisms that exist within the food web, we exist within this universe-wide system of energy exchange. Eating meat is a part of that, just as much as eating plants. It is not, nor will it ever be, more moral to not consume animal products.
5. Vegans often misunderstand the nature of small-scale farming. Factory farming is disgusting and immoral on every level. It is cruel and unsustainable. This is not true of small-scale farming. Keeping chickens in your backyard and eating the eggs they lay is not abusive to the animal so long as they are properly housed and fed. Keeping cows for dairy and meat is not abusive, again as long as they have space, food, and comfort. Reaping benefits from animals is not different than reaping benefits from crops. Factory farming bastardized this relationship, but every farmer that exists is not a factory farmer, and many of them treat their animals ethically. I feel like this ignorance is partly due to the perception that the truth somehow discredits the legitimacy of their diet choices, which it does not. It is still perfectly “good” to be vegan even if not all farming is exploitative.
Just a general disclaimer, all of these critiques of veganism and how it is perpetuated are not meant to imply that all vegans are racist or white supremacist or classist, merely that these specific talking points are. It is important to be able to separate who you are at your core from how your actions contribute to larger societal injustices. If you are a vegan, and offended by what I said, I urge you to examine why that might be the case, and what biases might be at play. Remember, there is nothing wrong with veganism as a personal dietary choice, it is when it becomes a pedestal to raise yourself to a higher level of morality than others where it becomes a problem, and that is what I wish to highlight in this post.
9 notes · View notes
littlespaceporgs · 4 years
Text
The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 3
Alternatively, Leah misses daddy Plo, gets annoyed by droids and is thoroughly entertained by Jar Jar Binks while simultaneously simping for Padme.
TA~DA! Welcome to part 3 of the reacts series, where we cover episodes 6, 7 and 8! I won’t lie to you, I actually found episode 6 really boring, 7 was less boring and 8 was maybe a little bit funny and I lowkey enjoyed it so much. So yeah, the first two reacts are kinda boring because I was super bored, but 8 is kinda funny. As usual, major spoilers for season 1 of the clone wars.
Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5
So, lets do thissssss!
Tags (as always, let me know if you want a tag!): @acciokenobi​ @roseofalderaan​ @catsnkooks​ @peacelandbread​ @littlevodika​ @icedcoffeeandgays​ @captainrexstan​ @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky​ @mcu-padawan​ @onabouteverything​ @fractiouskat​
Episode 6: Downfall of a Droid
Notes: since writing these, I’ve discovered that I am 100% without a doubt very much a simp for Plo Koon and it shows.
> Pre-warning, I’m writing this on paper and on the train, so there may be slightly less thots thoughts in this one
> “Suffering serious defeats by Grievous”??????? All we’ve seen for 5 episodes now is Grievous lose????????
> Yeah Anakin! You should listen to Ahsoka!
>> (you need to trust my babey)
> Where the fuck is Plo when you need him? I WANNA SEE HIM
Tumblr media
> Maybe that image will tide me over? (we all know it wont but that’s off topic)
> Oh for fucks sake I’ve had enough of Grievous
> YEAH R2, WE ALL KNOW YOURE THE ONLY REASON ANAKIN IS ALIVE!
> “this is too easy” oooohhhhh boy, you say that now......
*Grievous ditches his ship*
> ✨ disappointed, but not surprised ✨
> THERE IT IS!!!!! “I got a bad feeling about this” - bringing the total count so far to 2
> W H A T
>> R2D2?????????????????????????
>>> EXCUSE ME WTF?!?!?!?! DID THEY JUST - R2D2 NO!
> OBI WAN HOW DARE YOU R2D2 IS NOT REPLACEABLE
>> This is one of the few times I am more annoyed with Obi-wan than I am horny for him
>>> Wait no scratch that - i just looked at his face again 💖💖💖💖
> I miss Plo already, can he come back now?
Tumblr media
> Oh Ahsoka, you’re so cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
> omg Goldie???? I LOVE IT he’s kinda adorable
> ooooohhh boy R2 is going to be on that dodgy ass ship isnt he?
> hahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahah
>> fart humour, i love it!
> Unique items, huh
> OH SHIT THATS THE TYPE OF DROID FROM THE MANDALORIAN
>> just thinking about the mandalorian reminds me of the new armour/helmet kink i discovered I had and how much i love pedro pascal
> Goddammit R3. oh shit oh shit bad droids BAD DROIDS
> is R2 just a really good droid? or do all of them make this many mistakes???
> hahahaha ‘gramps’, Ahsoka he’s literally only 5/6 years older than you
> *GASP* Anakin, he’s not a lightswitch!
> Oh shit, R2 was on the ship!
>> HA HA I WAS RIGHT
> fuck fuck Grievous no dont take R2 bad droid
> okay, I love obi-wan but he’s being a little harsh
>> mild turn-on but ok 👀👀
> aaaawwww the little stomping when he’s excited
> Do we get to see R2 do a mad escape?
>> WE DO!
> oh no, R2 you were so close
> tracking beacon?! R3, what’re you doing?!
> sorry anakin, they definitely saw it
> R3 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THE HYPERDRIVE TOO?
> YEAH AHSOKA, YOU SAVE ANAKIN’S BUTT
> You, know, I’m starting to wonder if R3 is doing all this deliberately??
> lowkey, I want to tally the amount of droids grievous hurts/destroys
> well, i want R2 back in the next episode, please and thank you.
Episode 7: Duel of the Droids
> Okay, all I want is for Anakin to hurry up and find R2, because I want this arc to be over
> I’m going to keep this reacts fairly short because I’m a little bit bored
> All I want is more Plo content, is that too much to ask???????
>> If you can’t tell I have a thing for Plo Koon and I officially joined the simp club for him.
> This trandoshan guy is just.... bleh 🤢
Tumblr media
* insert gross shiver* 
> YEAH R2 YOURE DOING SO WELL! HOLY SHIT GO R2D2!!!!
> I said it in part 1, and I’ll say it again, R2′s whirring is a mood
> Okay so fucking R3 just turned R2 down, so I am definitely starting to think this is deliberate?
>> HOLY FUCK I JUST REALISED A THING! DUEL OF THE DROIDS???????? R3 VS R2??????????????????
> ANAKIN IGNORE OBI-WAN LIKE USUAL, YOU GO AND SAVE R2 OK?!
> Rex’s expression when he’s told to carry R3 is comedy gold by the way
Tumblr media
> Oh please Captain, kindly fuck me
> FUCK YEAH AHSOKA!
> *sighs* Oh the droid humour
> I mean, it is a type of head adjustment I guess 🤷‍♀️
> ...
>> Did you seriously think grievous, being the slimy bastard he is, wasn’t going to kill you?????
> OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT I WAS RIGHT FUCK R3 MAN
> AHSOKA KICK GRIEVOUS’ BIN CHICKEN LOOKI- oh no she was thrown into a wall, never-mind.
> R2 YES ZAP THAT GODDAMN DROID AND SAVE ANAKIN
> oh this is awkward, I love how R2 is insulted that he got R3 hahahahahahahha
> YES AHSOKA YOURE RIGHT, HE IS A STUBBY LITTLE BACKSTABER
> okay the most interesting point of this episode is ahsoka is escaping grievous
> OH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT AGAIN?! R2 AND R3 ARE DUELLING!!!! I CAN SEE THE FUTURE OR SOME SHIT LIKE A JEDI
Tumblr media
> THATS RIGHT BITCH R2D2 IS BETTER
> anakin looking out for R2 is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen
> ngl, i had a small degree of satisfaction when I saw R3 get smashed to bits
> “oh anakin... one day” obi-wan is a mood
> oh thank god its over, alright what’s up next?
Episode 8: Bombad Jedi
> HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH DOES THIS ONE HAVE JAR JAR IN IT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
> please tell me it has jar jar in it, then it will surely be funnier than the last 2 eps
> OH SHIT THIS EPISODE HAS PADME TOO IM SO HAPPY YAY
> oh in the white outfit too, i love this woman so much
> I’m going to put a photo hear so you can appreciate it too
Tumblr media
> My horny bisexual senses are tingling
> HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA IM ALREADY LAUGHING AT THE STUPID FROG
>> *for context he already fucked up once and we are 1 minute and 15 seconds into the episode
> she has a point though, C3PO does usually get into trouble
> oh boy, he sounds mad.... I’m getting a sinking feeling about this
> oh no
>> ah shit he’s gone and joined the separatists
> YOU DONT GET THE RIGHT TO CALL HER SWEET YOU TRAITOR
> I am much more entertained nonetheless by this episode
> wait so they fart insults???? it sounds like a fart and i giggled a little
> Oh and now jar jar’s trying to talk to them
> HAHAHAHAH C3 always gets shit thrown at him or shot at, whenever he’s in an episode I get a little bit happy 
> HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH ITS A FUCKING MAGNET OH C3 YOU POOR DROID
> why does he automatically jump to jar jar’s been killed oh my god so little faith like its a swamp planet???? and jar jar comes from a swamp planet????? of course he gone survive falling into water????
> buta mesa sav-ed you? i love this stupid creature oh my god hahahahaha
> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THE JEDI CLOAK OMG
>> definitely 100% anakins, and I love the Padme has the equivalent of one of his hoodies
>>> I want one too
> ooooohhhh this is not going to go well
> oh boy
> I’m guessing this is where the bombad jedi comes from?
> DARTH JAR JAR
Tumblr media
>> I am so sorry no its not mine, but I have no idea who’s it is
> wheresa jedi? OH MESA JEDI?
> have you guys seen zootopia? specifically where they trigger a ‘howl’ with the wolves??? Thats what I headcanon the droids are like with ‘roger roger’
> DAMN PADME THATS SOME MADASS CORE STRENGTH
>> crush me with those muscles please
> “There’s no jedi in here, wait there’s no prisoner in here!” hahahahahahahahah
> One day I’m going to have to do a little audio recording so you all know what sound I make whenever I’ve written hahahahahaha
> FUCK YEAH PADME SLAY THOSE DROIDS
> “I’m afraid the ship has been destroyed.” 
>> “Battle droids?” *shakes head*
>>> “... Jar Jar?”
>>>> “Jar Jar.”
> obviously Padme was right, she usually is
> oh boy Jar Jar is your only hope? you’re in for a shock buddy
> Padme is an excellent shot by the way
> OH MY GOD IT ATE HIM TO PROTECT HIM THATS SO SWEET
> “I think Jar Jar’s dead.” “Oh again?” goddamn it C3PO
> YEAH SLUG CREATURE THING GOOD JOB!
> ...
> excuse me????
> WHAT A FUCKING LEGEND HERE I WAS HATING ON UNCLE ANO WHEN HE IS STILL IN THE REPUBLIC
> okay he has my forgiveness now :))))))
Tumblr media
alright, I enjoyed episode 8, 6 and 7 were a little lackluster, but I did like 8 a lot actually, more than I thought I would 
anyways, see you next time for 9, 10 and 11!! (I’m pretty sure I saw ventress and kit fisto in the title image, so be prepared for major ass thots because i am very heavily attracted to one (1) assassin and one (1) fish man)
30 notes · View notes
popculturebuffet · 4 years
Text
Loud House Reviews: Racing Hearts
Tumblr media
Welcome back errbody. Continuing the Salauna trilogy with Racing Hearts. We’ve already seen the cute asking them out story , now comes the actual first date.. which ITSELF is massively important. Keep in mind even though Nick fully supported L is for Love and the crew put a lot of work into it given how good it turned out, Sam easily still could’ve vanished into Limbo. For it’s first 2 seasons loud house, the show HAD continuity: Once Ronnie Anne and Bobby moved away to set up their spinoff, there was an episode with Lincoln’s friends trying to help him deal with missing her in the first ep giving any of them  besides Clyde focus, a trend that would continue, they still showed up via video chat or in person where waranted and there was a full episode about Lincoln’s group of friends trying to help him deal with it... which also reminds me of a smiliar episode of ned’s declassified that was really damn good but unrelated to this... seriously that show is underated and I hope with the Netflix deal it shows up there.  Anywho back on the show we’re actually talking about, the show didn’t really have arcs, thigns that carried from episode to episode.. until Season 3. Season 3 is where the show REALLY hit it’s stride, with it now fully being an ensemble show and more continuity injected int, not interfering iwtht he show’s episodic nature but making it feel like events had meaning. Stella was introduced in “White Hare” and later got a full introduction that i’ll no doubt cover with “Be Stella My Heart” and afterwords rather than being forgotten entirely like the show used to do became part of his friend group in their episodes. Lynn SR. was revealed to have quit his office job to work at a restraunt and was working on opening his own, which while only a two episode arc, lead to the opening of Lynn’s table in the finale and it’s stuck around since. And Leni got a job at a clothing store she’s kept since and friends at said job who’ve shown up since.  See i’m fine with a show not having heavy duty continuity or serilzation, some shows thrive there but I love it when shows do this: even if it’s not all about plots, things progresing or being followed up on makes the show feel more vibrant and keeps it from stagnation in my book.  And as as show with a bunch of girls at dating age, it was invetivible theird’ be recurring romantic arcs, hence Chaz is mentoined as dating Leni, if not given any real focus so far hopefully that’ll change, while Luaan, in this episodes pairing brother, and most importantly Luna got followups on theres. And thus that brings us here to racing hearts,where nick earns the praise they got from l is for love by following up on it and showing in no uncertain terms the two as a blossoming couple.  I get to the actual episode under the cut:
We start with Lori being upset the bathroom is being taken up.... and that brings up a small issue I have: .. WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE BATHROOM FOR 10 KIDS. I do assume Lynn Sr and Rita have their own, and that it might be hard to put another one up there for plumbing reasons, but it still seems WEIRD to not have more than one up there or close to the stairs so that it dosen’t take 50 years for 10 children to get ready. And yes I said 10, Lily has a diaper and isn’t potty trained yet and any cleaning up or getting dressed, when needed, falls on Rita or Lynn Sr. But still it’s a LOT to ask for 10 children to share share one bathroom peacefully and it’s only through the power of not wanting to spend an animation budget on it that the bathroom isn’t a constant disaster area.  Anyways it’s actually Luna who, to her sister’s shock, is in a facemask getting ready to go to the Royal Woods Astonishing Quest with Sam for their first date. Naturally the other two are excited, and Luna, despite her usual nerves, is actually incredibly stoked and feels it’ll go perfectly. 
Tumblr media
At any rate, she’s happy and Lynn comes in to kick everyone out to scrape off her callosuses instead of you know... having Lucy leave their room or doing it while she’s not there, butttt that little detail is actually a tell for later so fair play to you. Plus Lucy may just understandably find int gross and Lynn dosen’t trike me as good at picking up after herself. As it turns out to no one’s shock, Lynn was banned last year for being a sore winner and rightfully so as we see in flashback, but she’scome to terms with it... wink. But they agree to leave as the louds need to get over there anyway.  Cut to the ASTONISHING QUEST.. which turns out to be a scavenger hunt with admitely a great name. Seriously someone use that. But we see tons of returning charcters including Scootst, Pop Pop and his girlfriend, and... 
Tumblr media
...........
youtube
I”d apologize for thatbut I feel that way any time I see the little weirners face. Be glad this dosen’t happen every time he shows up.  On the bright side he looks as dead inside as I do whenever I find out he’s in an episode, and Zack looks the same amount of dead inside.. probably because he realized a filing cabnet would’ve been a better partner. A review of your choice for the first person to get that reference and send it to me.  Thankfully my extesntial dread at seeing a Rusty cameo is lifted when Luna meets up with Sam and the two are awkard dorks together for a second as they figure out what greeting to do, settling on a handshake. It’s fucking precious. We then meet Royal Wood’s Mayor, voiced by Shirley! Now if she’d just show up on Ducktales already. Though hearing her reminds me I should do some Harvey Beaks reviews at some point... anyways, she announces the quest and Clyde and LIncoln make a fist bump while Lori and Leni stare down their parents like their about to start brawling in the streets then and there. What.. what have you guys done to each other over the years at these things? I want to know the history there. Have astonishing quest show up again in another season. I”d also love an Brooklyn Nine Nine style heist episode with this show .  Anyways, the rules are laid out: Each team is given an evelope with a clue, standard scavenger hunt contest stuff, and have challenges at each location to complete. The first team to finish wins the key to the city.. er a tiny trophy with you did it on it. Honestly that last one’s better anyway. Anyways after from trashtalk from Scoots and her partner Helen, who seems oddly familliar, we’re off! The first clue is easily figured out by Luna and the two old ladies quickly take advantage of Luna saying it loud where everyone can hear it by heading off: It’s off to Lazer Maze , the local Lazer Tag.  The guy there gives them their challenge: They need to get 500 points to get the next clue. Luna takes to it like a fish to water and easily tags Lisa and her friend Darcy... another nice little cameo. And it also shows something I like: not only are all the louds except Lynn, whose banned, and Lily, whose a baby, are competting on their own. And only Lori, who pops back up in a bit and Leni,whose partnered with her are plot relevant, but the episode easily could’ve left them out or used extras for the other teams but wisely decied to instead use characters we’re familiar with. It adds a nice touch that makes this feel like an actual event and make sme wish the show did more townwide events like this. Stars hollow it up. You have a fun character in the mayor, who was hilarious in her one minute here, you have your taylor. Just give her a quirky sidekick and have fun with it. Granted I want every series to have a little gilmore girls in it, but still.  Anyways Sam botches it and instead of shooting the golden girls shoots Luna by accient, though by the next cut they have their points, and the lazer tag guy encourages them anyway. Sam apologizes not being good at Laser tag but Luna happily shrugs it off: While she enjoys it it’s not for everyone. Anyways it’s Luna’s turn to be confused while Sam easily figures out the clue: IT’s off to the farm. And if you wanted the exact oppsite of my reaction to a Rusty cameo...
Tumblr media
youtube
Yeah while my reactions to Rusty is “Why haven’t you died on the way to your home planet yet?” My reaction to Liam is pure joy. He’s like this generation’s stinky peterson and I love it and has a nice enjoyable personality instead of being my own personal Kahn.  Anyways LIam’s challenge is to get Eggs from the chickens. Which Sam does easily.. Luna however is nervous to start despite Sam’s reasssurances.. before totally freaking out. To be fair though, chickens can be downright terrifying. Just look at Poyo
Tumblr media
And why yes that is a chicken hell lordd whose also a cyborg  bisecting santac lause. And why no, you are’nt getting any more context than that, go read Chew.  Anyways theys till have enough eggs to complete the challenge, if now splattered in egg and with Liam disapointed with their shenanigans, but being a professinal about it. Total pro. Anyways, Sam is just as ready to brush it off as Luna, noting farms just aren’t for everyone. I also like this plot in general because while it has the series habit of “thing happens again and again and again then climax” it’s used to flesh sam out a bit. While she is there to be Luna’s love intrest, being a love intrest dosen’t mean a character can’t be good or fleshed out. Just look at tom from star vs the forces of evil for a good example of that.  Anyways it’s once again Luna’s turn to figure out the clue and we’re off to Werk It Dance studio.. I gurantee it was going to say twerk it but nick was like “oh honey no. “. The name is just awkward otherwise. Or maybe i’m just old. Also the twins are there. Just a nice thing to note and two characters I THINK are from an episode I haven’t watched yet but read about. Anyways, Luna’s pumped while sam has “oh crapbaskets” written all over her face and quickly does terribly. This one however is .. not as easy to brush of. Not liking going to farms or laser tag is easy, there just things not to do on dates. Not dancing.. is hard when your both musically inclined people whose taste in music is why you met in the first place. While they try to gloss over it, it’s clear this is an issue and worries them both.  Moving on you know the drill at this point: Sam gets the clue, Luna dosen’t, we’re off to rock climbing. Sam utterly loves it while Luna is terrified. Moving on We cut to Luna, whose sitting down feeling depressed, aka my natural state these days, when Lori and Leni show up. Lori even gave her a cute backpack for the quest.. that has a leash attached. I’d say it’s a bit extreme but i’m half convinced this happened at some point and is the reason Leni dosen’t wear laces. 
youtube
Luna is of course spiraling because it turns out she and Sam don’t have a lot in common. Lori however gives some really good advice: Turns out she and Bobby hit some of the same problems and she just suggest they both try embracing things the other person likes. Even if it dosen’t work, shocker given the episode is far from over yet, it’s not bad advice and I like that in relationsihp based episodes it’s Lori who tends to be the one helping out, having the most experince to deal with that and a, at least by this point early Lori could be a bit TOO asholish sometimes, really solid couple.  And if you read this before I apologize because for some reason Tumblr decided to EAT A THIRD OF MY REVIEW FORCING ME TO REWRITE IT. And yes i’m ranting a bit but in my defense I worked hard on this and to have most of it chewed up through no fault of my own pisses me off and thus I needed to rant a bit. Back to the review! So Luna tries Lori’s approach while Lori runs off to find Leni who got off the leash.. again. SHe’s probably just going to sniff some ground, eat the plants,she’ll be finnne Lori. Anyways Luna and Sam go to the local health smoothie shop, the kind of place that is my nightmare for people like me with Orangutan bods but makes sense Sam would be into, and the next challenge is identify what this smoothie is made of. I”ve played this game before: my guesses were fish bones,chicken bones, and dry bones.... seriously the glass was just purred bones. I never bought a smoothie from that guy again.. mostly because someone called the cops. There’s a lesson in that. Luna however spits hers out.  IN a break from formula the next activity is for Luna to come sail away, come sail away come sail away with Sam.. whose actually a pretty apt sailor. You can guess the rest. Luna botches it, they still get the clue, yadda yadda time for the sad part. The two have an honest discussion abotu the fact that despite chemstry being there, they seemingly have nothing but their music in common and are diffrent people, with Luna glumly resolving to finish the race as friends and neither being happy. WHelp my heart just broke, next episode.  So Mayor SHirley from Community greets the girls at the final challenge: A bake off... because apparently just being the first one there wasn’t good enough... then again i’ve seen far worse rule changes by a far smugger canadian man so i’ll let it slide. Thankfully the universe throws the two a bone: Neither can bake. What follows is a damn adorable scene: The two touch hands and blush over butter, before working in synch.. and Sam then procedes to cause their pie to explode in her face.. I could’ve phrased that better, but Luna giggles at it, Sam playfully tackles her giggling insues and the two end up on the ground, smiling at each other. Also Helen and Scoots win. Who cares. Luna realizes from this that she was an idiot to suggest giving up so soon, and proposes they simply try to find things they like together rather than focusing on their diffrences. Because as a coked out cat who sang a duet with a coked out Paula Abdul once said:  If things go wrong we make corrections, to keep things goin in the right directions, try to fight it but i’m telling you jack, it’s uselss opposites attract! By the way the show really dropped the ball not having Luna mention this song titles in one of her song refrence things she does this episode. Anyways the two decide to start dating and then hug. My heart.. it’s too full.  We end the episode on the reveal Helen is Lynn, a nice payoff for earlier as Lynn rides off on her elderly partner in crimes scooter into the sunset while Luna and Sam giggle and look on. Like any great love story. And we’re out.  Final Thoughts:  Okay second time around with this, and it’s a great ep. The repetition hurts it SLIGHTLY, but Sam and Luna’s chemistry helps the episode as does it’s terrific aseop: You don’t have to be exactly alike to love a person, or like the same things.. as long as you connect, and TRY to find things you both enjoy, you’ll be fine. The episodes also helped by plenty of nice little cameos, showing off the series new grasp on continuity, and Lori being Luna’s advisor and Lynn naturally being the douchey rival to them and everyone else. Overall a solid ep that was a natural step forward and set up a good status quo for Sam and Luna. The next ep dosen’t feel as natural a story step, but is still a nice one and the one that insipired me to take the leap and review these eps so join me next time as our faviorite couple bond with some cats and get into some scooby doo door shenanigans with “The Purrrfect Gig” Until then later days. 
21 notes · View notes
princesssarcastia · 4 years
Text
The Rise of Skywalker Review
Well, I actually went to see it!  I wasn’t sure that I would, but I’m honestly glad, because now i’ve got thoughts.
The first twenty minutes or so seemed really slapdash and disjointed, like they wanted to set up things for later but didn’t want to take the time to set them up well.  Everything was really rushed and shallow for that period.
But! This movie had a lot of poe-rey-finn interactions which I enjoyed deeply.  Rey and Poe sniping at each other, Finn and Rey being adorably close and caring, Finn and Poe being adorably close and caring.  They feel like they’ve actually spent time together! Excellent.
Leia’s scenes felt a little weird, like they were shoehorned in, but i still miss her so I’m kinda glad for her presence anyway.  Having her train Rey, pick up where Luke left off and push her to the finish line, makes me delighted.  Yes, Leia is force sensitive!!  She trained with her brother!!  She knows how to pass on what she learned!!!  She built a lightsaber!!!!!! excellent. (sidenote her lightsaber was sick.  i loved it. i want one)
I also liked how we got to see some diverse planets and terrain.  did they do their best on that front? no.  would have loved to see some more weird-ass alien planets, or even weird-ass terrain that actually exists in the real world, but they’re deathly afraid of being like the prequels, soooo.
The whole thing with the “sith dagger” and C-3P0′s memory was a shit storyline.  Here’s a magic item that will do everything we need! Give you the location of your navigator thing!! Magically fit against the skyline of the wreck of the deathstar, even though it’s an ancient artifact and the deathstar is constantly battered by incredibly powerful waves on an alien planet! ugh.  dumb.
If that droid from the old shipwreck was gonna have that knwoeldge the whole time,,,,,,, why not just let Rey befriend the droid,,,,,,,,instead of doing a “psych! gotcha!” with C-3P0′s memory. 
JJ Abrams being afraid to give real consequences to the new trio’s actions was shit.  Let them kill Chewie!  Let them essentially kill C-3P0! Or leave it out of the equation entirely!!!  These fake-outs cheapen emotional responses and motivations of the heroes of our story.
and hey, speaking of cheapening shit, why the ever-loving FUCK did they bring Palpatine back.  why.  I hate that.  I hated that SO MUCH IT WAS SO DUMB.  SO.  DUMB.  so darth vader redeemed and sacrificed himself over nothing, huh??  Anakin Skywalker, dumb bitch to the end, couldn’t even die right, because palpatine was fucking alive the whole time.  fuccking hell.  any hey, guess what?? Jedi can force-heal people, too! ha ha ha hahahahaha ha h  h a stupid anakin for believing palpatine had unique force powers and turning to the dark side, when really, it was a light-side power all along!!! (kill me)
(side note: healing being a power of the light and not the dark is thematically better, but uh.  see petty retconning below)
Making Rey his granddaughter is inarguably worse than having her be a true nobody, which was my number one pick.  I might even have been fine with it if she discovered it on her own!! But noooo, we need to have Kylo Ren and Luke tell her who she is.  Oh yeah, they knew who she was the whole time, lol! Isn’t that cute, stupid women having to be told who they are and what their legacy is. 
Which also makes her previous conversation with Kylo in TLJ cheap too! Look, I get it, we all hated TLJ, and Rian Johnson’s choices.  But...having Kylo tell Rey who she is twice, in two separate movies, and tell her two separate things each time, and have it be played straight both times, is just.  so.      dumb.   petty retconning of other people’s work is kind of disgusting.
That being said, in this movie I didn’t feel like Rey’s storyline was about anyone but her.  I mean, palpatine elements for sure, but except for being told whose granddaughter she was, she was basically in control of her own destiny.  I liked that a lot.
Rey’s fight with Kylo on the wreck of the death star? *chef’s kiss*.  Amazing.  Incredible.  Lightsaber duels have gotten so much better and I love them.  somewhere inside me my five-year old self is screaming for joy and picking up her toy lighsabers.  Ridley and Driver have, unfortunately, very good chemistry in their scenes together, and the tension while they fought was so good. 
Poe as a former drug dealer makes me tired.  Poe Dameron, who idolizes Leia and had rebellion pilots for parents, was a drug dealer?? You kidding me?? ugh.
Also, if i’m being petty, I hated the way force ghosts could interact with reality. 
Lando Calrissian!! Lando I love you.  I love you so much.  The idea of all those people coming to the Resistance’s aid is pretty cool tbh, and I liked it.  I liked Lando playing ambassador and politician for the resistance. 
I absolutely hated the ““planet-killing-cannon”“ palpatine’s fleet had.  These fucking,  fan-pandering morons just cannot let the idea of a planet-killer go, can they?  It’s not like a shit ton of ships, the biggest fleet in the galaxy, able to blockade hyper-space lanes and entire planets, would be a good enough threat, oh no.  audiences aren’t smart enough to respond to something that complicated, so we need to make it SUPER OBVIOUS, just like in TLJ.  “the death star but bigger/portable” is dumb.
Finn finding other defectors was so fucking cool, I love that for him.  Also, like, Im pretty sure they were all force-sensitive like he is, which I think is amazing.  Confirming Finn’s force sensitivity was the best decision they made in this movie, tbh. 
The driving problem of this movie was, in my opinion, the exec and creative teams being unable to stick to their guns with Kylo Ren as the big villian.  Twice, people reached out to him for redemption: his father in TFA, and rey in TLJ.  Twice, he rejected that offer, and ascended to Supreme Leader.
But instead of letting him do that, they instead turned him back to the light for little to no discernible reason.  What, his mother dying finally pushed him over the edge?? You kidding me???? He LITERALLY murdered his father in cold blood. i call bullshit. 
And because they couldn’t let kylo be the main villian, they also had to bring back palpatine.  Look man, Adam Driver abso-fuckin-lutely has the chops to be a big bad.  He’s really good at his job, actually, and I believe he could carry the weight of being the scary leader and face of the dark side.  But no, y’all are chicken.
I mean, even though I hated him turning back, driver-as-ben-solo was fucking lit.  He was so good for those, what two minutes?? The tension during his rush to Rey??? Him fucking with the KNights of Ren?? His switcheroo with Rey, the way he nods and bows a little when the Knights all step back, knowing they’re about to get their asses kicked?? Oh my god! It was so fun to watch.  You could tell, even from that much, he’s a cocky little shit, and would have been so fun to watch for three movies instead of three minutes.
Their kiss at the end when he dies?? boo, hiss, no thank you.  Not a fan.  I’ll concede their chemistry as actors, but that was not romantic chemistry between their characters.  nuh-uh no way no how.  gross.
Overall, like a 5/10.  Wildly inconsistent.  I really liked some parts, and enjoyed other parts out of context, and really hated other parts. 
ps— me, watching the ot3 hug Like That™: NOW KISS.
55 notes · View notes
roommatesandwiches · 4 years
Text
Movie Night
For context: This WIP is set in The Consequences Of A Magic Sandwich, a series (with currently only one fic) based off that 'demon sandwiches' thread; Reader is a human that pals around with demons and serves them sandwiches when they come visit. It's supposed to be Vox-centric, but I somehow ended up writing about other demons more. (this one is set a bit after Reader's met Vox for the first time)
I wanted to write a one-shot of Reader hanging out with the VVV but realized I had zero idea how to write proper dialogue, especially with characters I'm not all that familiar with. I chickened, basically, because we have little to no information what all of their personalities are, but this came out decent enough so I thought I'd share.
Viv mentioned that all of the stuff in Hell are 'off-brand', and the following is kinda how I interpret the meaning of that as well as Velvet and Valentino's personalities while we still know little about them.
-----
The ice cubes clink as they touch the bottom of the glasses. Following after them is your fresh, homemade lemonade that you pour carefully from the jug. You then pop the straws into the glasses before carrying the tray over to the table where your demonic guests are sitting. Valentino is casually eating a sandwich, his eyes glued to his hot-pink phone, while Velvet is wolfing down your cookies one after the other like a homeless person who hadn't eaten in weeks. You place the tray down and the demoness immediately snatches a glass at the speed of light and knocks it back like a shot of vodka, ignoring the straw entirely. Her haste is rewarded with the ice spilling out and onto her face, some bouncing down her chest to her lap. "Slow down," you tell her as you hand her a napkin. "It's not going anywhere." "I know, but your food is just so good!" she draws out the words, and your worry that she'd get brain freeze disappears as she continues to be just as chipper as ever. Do demons not get brain freeze? Maybe she's just too hyped up to notice. Do demons get adrenaline rushes? You consider asking, but Velvet's stuffing her face with cookies again and Valentino is distracted. "Thank you," you say and you take a sip of your own glass of lemonade through the straw. You turn to the taller demon across from you, effectively catching his attention with your gaze. "You're not texting one of your workers, are you?" The pimp is quiet for a moment. "...'Course not." he says, but he puts his phone down. You sigh disappointedly, earning an annoyed look from him that you brush off easily.
"No working when you're here, remember?" you say. "This is a place for demons to relax. If you wanted to work over sandwiches you can do that in Hell." He frowns at your mothering, crossing his lower pair of arms poutily. "Fine, fine." He finishes his sandwich and finally takes his glass and brings the straw to his lips. He takes a sip and his eyes widen. "Dang, baby! This is f*cking delicious!" It tastes pretty average to you. "Don't you have lemons in Hell?" "Kinda?" Velvet made a face. "They taste gross. Everything tastes gross." "We have lemons, they're just... Off-brand," You raise an eyebrow. Off-brand lemons? "Just like everything else down there. We've got all the food and all the products you have up here but they're all sh*tty as f*ck." So that's why they like your food so much. It's not really great, it's just leaps and bounds better than the food in Hell. Velvet sighs and leans into her palm. You wonder if the brain freeze finally caught up to her. "Yeah... Even the Oreos are terrible." She suddenly perks up again and gasps sharply. She leans into you, filling your vision with her face. "Do you have—?!" "Oreos?" You push her back a bit by the shoulders as you try to remember. "I'll go check." You get up and make your way upstairs. Behind you, Velvet squeals and hits Valentino's arm excitedly. You hear the pimp say, "Calm down, Vel." but he sounds a bit excited, too. You go into your room and look into your snack drawer. After pushing aside a package of candies you spot a blue Oreo package hidden within and pull it out of the drawer. You grab some scissors before you bring it downstairs and show it to the demons triumphantly. They visibly brighten at the sight of it and won't stop looking at it in awe even as you cut it open. You hand them each a pack and they waste no time in tearing them open. They each toss a cookie into their mouths and simultaneously moan with delight as they bite into it. "So... So good," Valentino says with his mouth still full. Some drool drips down his chin and your fingers twitch with the urge to wipe it with a napkin. Velvet crams the other two Oreos into her mouth without even swallowing the first one and gets crumbs all over her dress and your tablecloth. Valentino at least takes his time to savour the sweet, sugary goodness. The demoness next to him reaches for another packet but you pull it out of her reach. She pouts like a puppy but you remain firm. "If you eat them all there won't be any left for other demons," is your reasoning, but really you don't want them to eat too much and get sick. You know how terrible that feeling is. Besides, you mother them enough as it is. "Just buy more." Velvet whines, making grabby motions with both her hands. "I'm not made of money," you say. Valentino opens his mouth so you add, "I can only get promoted so many times." "Actually, what I was going to say was that you could get a better job. We can easily make that happen, baby. You've just gotta ask." He winks and snaps his fingers with a flourish. "Thanks, but I like my current job," you say with a polite smile. "It's not the best pay, but it pays good and I like doing it." "Suit yourself, then." the pimp sighs and takes another Oreo. "I mean, with the extra money you could get some better clothes," Velvet comments, glancing at your outfit. You furrow your brows at her and she shrugs. "A change could be nice." "My clothes are perfectly fine as long as they fit me." you state with finality. "There's nothing wrong with looking good, sugar." You cast Valentino a look at that. "Not that you don't look good, I'm just saying that you could look better." "Well, I don't care about looking better. I like how I look right now." When clothes shopping, you usually just get whatever you think looks good, comfortable and is affordable. You've never really thought about how good anything looks on you and you don't really have any regard for style and brands. It was less of a hassle that way. "Are the clothes in Hell off-brand, too?" you wonder aloud. "Oh yeah, totally," Velvet says as she snaps a picture of the Oreo pack with her 'Hellphone'. She picks at the fabric of her dress. "A lot of the stuff for sale are tacky as Hell. If you want good clothes, you gotta make them yourself or pay really good money." "All my clothes are custom made and cost more than your house." Valentino adds. He gestures with all four of his arms and you easily understand why that could be. A lot of people in Hell probably didn't care to make clothes that accommodated demons that are shaped less like average humans. "That sucks." "It's Hell, babe," Valentino shrugs. "Everything sucks." "Even movies?" you question. "Yeah. Well," the pimp smirks. "Not our movies." Oh right. They make porn. You're not into that stuff, but you understand how some people are. All to their own. "Drugs don't pay for themselves!" Velvet laughs hysterically before adding, "We sell drugs too." Well, no wonder they were so stinking rich and high up Hell's hierarchy. Sure, power played a part, but down in Hell stuff like porn and drugs are likely really high in demand, you'd think. Velvet suddenly gasps again and turns to you with wide eyes. "O. M. G. Do you have—" Drugs? "—Movies?!" You look at her quizzically. "Of course I do—" "Ohmygoshohmygosh!" She's practically vibrating with excitement and her pupils dilate to the extreme. She's so excited that you're afraid that she might explode and get blood all over your dining room. Her claws snag on your shirt as she pulls you close. "Can we borrow them?!" You're about to say "Yes." when you second-guess it. You close your mouth and take a moment to think about it, prying Velvet's hands off of you as you did. "I... Don't know." you end up saying. Honestly, you don't doubt that she'd slit your throat and snatch up all your DVDs (or just steal them without going through the trouble of killing you) if you said "No." Velvet grins maniacally, giggling. "Don't trust us with your movies, huh? Haha! I wouldn't either!" "How about a movie night?" Valentino suggests. You look up at him and you swear his eyes are sparkling with excitement at his own idea. "Instead of borrowing them, let's watch them all here!" He grins expectantly at you and you suspect that he expects you to hate the idea, but surprisingly, you don't. Having a movie night with some demons isn't a bad idea. It'd be just like having a movie night with humans, but demons. It's been a long time since you've had a movie night with anyone, anyway, so it'll be nice. "That sounds fun," you say truthfully and Valentino frowns. "I can prepare the snacks, but oh—Don't you guys have work, though?" "We already have a night set aside for movies!" Velvet pipes up. "Ooh, Vox's gonna love it!" That makes you pause. "Vox?" "Um, yeah! We can't have a movie night without Vox!" she says as if it's the most obvious thing. "The point of movie night is so that we can hang out, duh."
(That's pretty much it. Thanks for reading y'all.)
10 notes · View notes
leagueofidiots · 4 years
Text
I'm great at keeping us occupied at least
Heya, so I had a rough Thanksgiving and started that draft I've talked about...after certain things happening I no longer really want to work on it anymore, but enjoy what used to be a good concept! Still can't do the "keep reading" thing, sorry
No trigger warnings, just know this is after my NaNoWriMo, but you can read it without context just fine. Some Shigadabi and Magnetmagic, but nothing huge
"Everybody pack up your crap, we need to drive up to Sapporo," says Shigaraki, laying Father over his face.
"Why can't Kurogiri just take us? And why do we have to go anyway?" Toga groans.
"He's not feeling well, so I don't want to overwork his quirk. We're going because I said so."
Twice lowers the bottom half of his mask to cover his mouth. "Whatever you say, boss!" He begins shoving various things into a knapsack. "I just wanna lay around and do nothing!"
Dabi slowly gets off of his bar stool. "Oi, creep, you know I get car sick, right?"
"What?" He continues placing hands over his upper body. "Since when?"
"Since I made a slightly large turn. Personally, I think he just likes whining," says Spinner, nose pointed up to the air.
"Well we just won't make any 'slightly large turns' then." Kurogiri gives him a sideways glance, but Tomura promptly ignores him. "Toga, I'm serious. Get up. You're not getting out of this."
Magne pulls up the younger girl by the arm. "Who's driving? I'll have to take a pass, I don't have a license."
"You're in your thirties, how do you not have a licence?" asks Twice, standing at the door like an eager boy scout.
"My parents took mine when I got my pronouns and name changed, and then I committed two murders. That sort of eliminated the option." 
"Oh." He shrinks sheepishly. "Well, I'd say they had it coming then. Murder is not a good way to solve your problems, Kenji!"
She shrugs. "I have Pringles, you think I should bring them?"
Compress grins, debating between his masks. "Oh, absolutely. I would still like to know our business in Sapporo though, Shigaraki. It could affect what I wear."
"Well, I'm hoping to avoid the public once we're up there, so bring one of the ones you can stuff in your bag."
Dabi looks at his boss in disgust. "Really? We're stuffing things in bags, and you're bringing all fourteen of your corpse hands?"
"You say that like you're not a walking chunk of rotting barbeque as is, player two."
The black-haired villain shrugs. "Fair enough. Just don't make me carry the bag or anything."
"So can I drive?" asks Suichi eagerly, trying to get back on topic. "I really love feeling the power of a car under my hands."
"If you've already made Dabs blow chunks, I don't think that's a great idea," says Toga, digging knives out from under the couch cushions.
Spinner pouts. "Fine."
Kurogiri finishes a drink he'd made for himself, and looks around at his murder babies. "Is everyone all packed? I am sorry I couldn't make us a warp gate."
"It's no prob, Kuro, we all feel under the weather sometimes," says Jin, back to looking like he's waiting for Disneyland and not a sixteen hour drive from Yokohama to Sapporo. "I blame you for my suffering."
"We're all packed," says Atsuhiro loudly, finally placing a mask over his face. "Which car are we taking?"
Over the past several weeks, the league had stolen a lot of cars. Toga said a crime that took such thought and planning was basically pointless, but Jin liked hotwiring cars, so what else was there to do? So the league now had five vehicles, including a baby blue minivan, a pink bug, an orange pickup truck, another minivan (this one white, it was Tomura's favorite), and a bright green sports car. Compress had them stored as marbles in one of his coat pockets.
"The minivan," says Shigaraki, grin creeping past Father's fingers. "You know which one. And I'm driving."
"Shotgun," calls Dabi, sulking over to the door. "One more window to look out of as I try to keep my insides where they belong." Tomura rolls his eyes.
"So, are we gonna play any road trip games?" asks Toga, considerably more excited than when Magne had to drag her out of her chair.
"I dunno, what did you have in mind?" The tone in their boss' voice suggests he's going to turn down whatever she says, but Himiko never has been good with his social cues.
"Truth or dare! Twenty questions! Spin the bottle! Two truths and a lie! Would you rather! Kiss, marry, kill! Concen---"
"Okay, okay, I get it!" he snaps. "Whatever, just pick one. Maybe it'll stop Dabi from puking his guts out in my stolen car."
As Compress expands the white van in the alleyway next to the League's hideout, Toga cheers. "Jin, what do you want?"
"I don't care. Two truths and a lie!" He quickly clambers into the car, seizing the back left window seat.
"Sounds great!" She shuffles in next to him. "Kuro, you start!"
He lets out a short sigh. "Yes, alright, fine. I suppose I can come up with something."
Dabi hesitantly gets into the front seat, setting his own empty knapsack by his feet. "This better not get weird, or I'll just hop out of the window."
Shigaraki gives his boyfriend a pointed glare as he takes the wheel in his half-gloved hands. "I told you, you're not allowed to make jokes like that anymore. You worry me."
"Sorry," he says dryly, not sounding very sorry at all. "I'll just eat all my Altoids at once then."
The rest of the team piles in, Suichi next to Toga; Compress, Magne, and Kurogiri in the middle row. "Why wear our villain costumes if we're being discreet when we arrive?" asks Spinner, struggling with his scarf.
"To scare civilians when we stop for food. I hate lines," says Tomura, starting the car.
"Are you sure you know how to drive?" asks Jin, hand raised. "I have complete faith in ya, boss man!"
"Yes, I know how to drive, I've been playing racing games since I was younger than Toga!" he snaps.
"Okay, okay, go," says Himiko, smacking her hand on Kurogiri's shoulder.
The purple void thinks as Shigaraki pulls into the street, already scratching at his neck. "Hm...Alright, I'm ready. Number one: I am twenty-eight years old. Number two: my real name is Morimi Yoshiano. Number three: I have a scar on my eyebrow that makes it look like I shaved a slit in it to be edgy."
Magne laughs. "That third one has to be the lie."
He shakes his head, sending swirls of mist into the backseat. "Entirely true."
"Number one is," rasps Tomura. "If that were true, I would have met you when you were thirteen or so. Possible, but unlikely."
"Well, I suppose it's fitting you guessed it. Is it your turn then?"
"'Morimi Yoshiano'. That sounds off for some reason. I think I'll stick with 'Black Fog'," says Compress.
There's a murmur of agreement across the car. "Okay, I think I'm ready. My hair used to be black, I hate Sonic the hedgehog, or I've never been in a movie theatre."
Dabi turns to him with a "ha". "I know for a fact your hair was black as a kid. And everybody hates Sonic, so---"
"Excuse me, what?" Tomura almost swerves into the next lane as he turns to his now-green-tinged boyfriend. "Everybody hates Sonic?!?"
"Face the street, creep, and stop treating this like bumper cars," he says in a wavering voice.
Shigaraki faces forward. "Sonic was and is an iconic video game, vital to the development of---"
"Was it the lie or not?" whines Toga.
He huffs. "Yes, it was the lie. Your turn."
"One: I used to think Tomura was cute. Two: I've eaten dog before. Three: One time I stabbed Dabi's arm while he was asleep, and he didn't even notice."
Kurogiri looks back, slightly disturbed. "I'm not sure which answer I want to be correct."
"I don't think you'd eat a dog," says Jin, though he sounds unsure.
"That's what she wants you to---" A weird noise from Dabi cuts Spinner off. "Gross, man."
Dabi tosses a mint at his teammate's head after popping one in his mouth. "Shut up. I can't help it."
"This is getting boring, you guys are being too easy," says Toga. "The lie was the dog one."
"So what now?" ask Twice. "I am perfectly content!"
"I dunno, why don't we play spin the bottle like you suggested earlier? It's certainly high risk," says Magne.
"High risk? What do you mean?"
She grins, adjusting herself in her seat. "Well, we have a gremlin with crusty lips, a queasy piece of bacon, me, Sako, a void, a sociopath, Deadpool, and a lizard. There's not really any solid wins besides my boyfriend, and that's brought down by the fact that his not-singleness makes it awkward."
Suichi grins. "Like a game of chicken. I'm in."
"I wouldn't call myself a void, but alright, I guess."
"Isn't Himiko a minor?" asks Shigaraki, itching his neck.
"You're concerned about that but not---" Dabi hiccups, "---not driving with a hand over your face?"
Tomura huffs and takes the hand off, tossing it onto Dabi's lap. "Happy? Now I may be a criminal, but I have, like, morals."
"Oh, come on, Shiggy. I'm consenting. And it's just a little kiss," she whines. "I don't have any people my age to be my age around, you know? I want my teenage years to be as teenager-y as possible."
He stops joltily at a red light. "Alright, but if this is what we get arrested for, I blame you."
She grins. "Okay, just let me pull up the app!" Jin huddles over next to her for a minute as they type in names and adjust settings. "Ready! Who's spinning first?"
"What's the punishment if you pass?" asks Compress, taking off his mask and fanning himself with it.
"Hmmmmmmm." She taps her chin. "A good question."
"Whoever chickens out has to buy the person they didn't kiss something from wherever we stop," suggests Magne. 
Everyone groans. Everyone is broke. Even the author, writing this at 1 am after a mental breakdown is broke. The fourth wall is broke.
Anyway.
Toga presses the button on her screen, and the automated sound of a spinning game wheel sounds throughout the car alongside Dabi's groans of discomfort. "And I will be kissing...Suichi!"
The scaly villain groans. "Why me?" Still, he faces his left and takes the quick peck. "Okay, my turn." His clawed finger presses the button, and once again suspense fills the air. "Compress, that's you."
"Must I?" he asks dryly, turning around. The ordeal is over as quickly as the first round, and Compress removes his glove. "This is setting up to be a long road trip." The clicking begins once again, and finally lands on Kurogiri's name.
"Whoaaaa," crows Jin. "Are you gonna have to deactivate your quirk? We don't want his face going through. That would be hilarious!"
Kurogiri tenses. "Um. Well, there is always the option of buying you something."
"We're all broke and you know that. Come on, it isn't that bad." The magician pulls his glove on, leaning over his girlfriend.
"Yeah, besides, we wanna see your face! It's like a fun little mystery!" says Toga, leaning forward on her elbows.
Tomura glances back. "You don't have to if you don't want to, Kuro."
"No, no, they have a right to know what I look like. It's waited long enough," he says with a sigh.
Dabi, bag held lazily in one hand, turns around slowly, trying to act apathetic. Kurogiri rolls down his window, letting a gust of air in, and the fog around his slowly dissipates. 
"Whoa, you're kinda hot, in a weird, battle-worn kind of way," says Jin. "That's a lot of damage! And we're gonna repair it using flex tape!" He puts a banana sticker on the man's forehead.
Kurogiri peels the sticker off slowly, taking a few purple hairs out in the process. His face is scattered with patches of light skin, making his dark eyes stand out against his features. "What is flex tape?"
And this is where I stopped oof
10 notes · View notes
eldritchsurveys · 3 years
Text
1031.
5k Survey LXXV
3826. Why do most people associate being spiritual or connected to the world as being a hippy? >> Okay, so the first 25 questions in this section were all specifically about LOTR The Two Towers, for some reason? I’m not interested so I just skipped them entirely and am smushing the remaining 25 questions in this part into the other 50. Whatever. Anyway, because that’s the stereotype they’ve internalised, idk. Looking down on non-materialistic worldviews is a common modern pastime in the Western world, just in general. (Not that being a hippie is inherently a negative or stupid thing to be, but that’s definitely the sort of context this stereotype is going for.)
3827. Why is passion and honest emotion equated with hallmark cards? >> I feel like my answer to this would just be similar to my answer to the previous question. These ideas don’t necessarily have the same root, but they’re definitely related. 3828. What words set off alarms in your brain (for me it's anarchy, pagan, etc)? >> *blinks* Certainly not those words. Usually it’s words like, idk, “American values” and “lizard people”... 3829. Are you dancin in the dark? >> No. 3830. Name 2 things you have never done in public: >> I’ve never done the Charleston or the Riverdance in public.
3831. If you had to choose out of what you just named, which one WOULD you do in public? >> I don’t even know how to do those dances, which is part of the reason why I’ve never done them in public. 3832. Challenge yourself. Do whatever it is in public. Why not? What are you so terrified of? >> ... 3832. Is hell REALLY other people? >> The actual context of that quote is so much more interesting than seeing people using it as some kind of antisocial mantra. 3833. Or would it be more hellish to live totally without other people? >> We’re all aware that humans are social creatures, correct? Just making sure. 3834. Leggos or linkin logs? >> I had Lincoln Logs as a kid but not LEGO. 3835. What books have you read more than once? >> I’ve read The Fountainhead three times. 3836. Do you get different things out of reading a book a second time a year or more after reading it the first time? Is it because you are a different person after time passes? >> Yeah, I do, and yes, that’s why -- but first I have to convince myself to read a book more than once. My to-read list is so long all the time and then I learn about yet another interesting-sounding book and jump on that and the cycle never ends... it feels like a waste of time to go back and read books I’ve already read. Even though I know that’s not a logical way to think at all. 3837. The person who goes to ____ is not the same person who comes back. Fill in the blank with anything you think fits. >> Whatever. 3838. Quick! Empty your brain here! >> ... 3839. What's the best movie soundtrack? >> I’m partial to Clint Mansell soundtracks, personally. 3840. Tissues with or without aloe? >> I rarely even use tissues, but when I do, I’m not terribly precious about what kind they are. I just use whatever Sparrow bought. 3841. Are you on any medication? >> No. 3842. Does any part of your own body disgust you? If yes, isn't that odd? What could have caused that feeling of disgust with your own body? >> Having a body disgusts me, overall. Yeah, I’m not fond of the relationship I have with my body either, but it’d be one hell of an uphill battle to reprogram my brain to not think I’m gross. I’m doing my best, all right. 3843. Want some popcorn? >> No. 3844. What if Atlas shrugged? >> I imagine he’d do it in far less time than it takes to read that book. 3845. Who has led the most interesting life? >> ... 3846. What movies are comming out next year that you are looking forward to? >> Ha, what movies are coming out next year... that’s the question, innit. 3847. If someone is half man and half dog is he his own best friend? >> --- 3848. Paper or plastic? >> I usually get plastic bags. 3849. Why did things make sense in childhood, but they don't now? >> What things? 3850. Is it crazy time? >> --- 3851. If there is a lotto with 50 numbers, and a player picks 6 numbers without repeating any, what are their chances of getting all 6 winning numbers? >> I don’t know, dude.
3852. If there were no laws and no rules name 3 things you would do that you don't/wouldn't/can't do now? >> --- 3853. It's a costume party. What will your costume be if the theme is: the 70's? 80's? under the sea? 3854. Have you ever wanted to release the lobsters from those tanks in restraunts and put them back in the sea? >> Nope. 3855. How funky is your chicken? How loose is your goose? >> --- 3856. What's your favorite animal out of these: emu, otter, duck billed platypus, moose, skunk? >> Otter. 3857. priest, rabbi, or other religios leader, a judge, or a sea captain to perform your wedding? >> We had a nondenominational minister for ours. I’m sure we would have rather have gone with someone who wasn’t any flavour of Christian, but going through the French Quarter Wedding Chapel kind of was a path of least resistance. It’s hard to plan a wedding from a completely different part of the country than the place it’s being held, and the Chapel did a lot of the legwork for us. 3858. Do you think that it's okay for people to write their own wedding vows? >> What on earth would possess me to think otherwise? 3859. Rank these as places to be married. 1 = best. Your House or Yard The Beach A Park Disneyland A Forest A Catering Hall Las Vegas A church or temple A Courthouse On a Boat On a Space Station 3860. The Earth is doomed. A giant asteroid is headed our way. It will decimate the planet in 3.2 days. You and your family own a space pod and you have room for 7 people from the list below. Everyone else dies. Who do you pick? Orlando Bloom, Justin Timberlake, Joan Jett, John Denver Baby Eve (the first human clone), Jennifer Lopez, Johnny Depp, George W Bush, David Bowie, Charleton Heston, Ralph Nader, Moby, Jeff Bridges, Kelly Osbourne, Frank Zappa, Bill Clinton, Britney Spears, Osama Bin Laden The Pope, Eminem, Madonna >> *longsuffering sigh* 3861. Rank the following dead people in order of who you would like to spend the day with. 1 = you'd like to hang out with them the most. Joan of Arc Groucho Marx John Lennon Joey Ramone Anton Levay Tupac Jack Kerouac Aaliyah John F Kennedy Lucielle Ball Jim Morrison 3862. If you could grant immortality to one person you know (can't be yourself) who would you give it to? >> I don’t want to grant immortality to anyone. 3863. If you could grant immortality to one person who you do not know personally but know of (writer, politician, etc) who would you give it to? >> --- 3864. Name a person you love: Name a person you admire: Name a friend: Name a relative: If you had to condemn one of them to death to save the lives of the others who would it be and why? >> Just... not even going to touch this one. 3865. Would you rather be one of Santa's elves or a dentist? >> What... 3866. When you first meet people what do you talk to them about? >> There’s no one specific thing that I talk to people about... it’s obviously dependent on many factors (at least one of them having nothing to do with me). 3867. You have been invited to a party with any sports team in the world. Which one? >> No. 3868. Finish the sentances. In a world where: He was: She was: Together, they were: Why do so many movie trailers start off by saying 'In a world..'? >> I had a feeling this was about movie trailers, lol. I’m guessing it’s just convenient or something. (Also, that doesn’t happen much anymore. There’s a new set of trailer tropes now.) 3869. Make up a superhero with really unhelpful powers: >> --- 3870. A couple of days ago this guy won 14 million dollars and tried to donate 1 million to the salvation army. The salvation army turned the money down saying they didn't want dirty gambling money. Did they do the right thing? >> They did what was right from their point of view, which is a dogmatic conservative-Christian POV. 3871. If you had a spare million for charity work who would you donate it to? >> --- 3872. What's the craziest most shocking moment of rock and roll history that you can think of? >> --- 3873. Why is it that if a man kills another man in battle it's called heroic, but if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it's called murder? >> Perspective. 3874. What kind of punishment do you feel the following crimes deserve: premeditated murder? date rape? drug sales? drug use? burglery? 3875. If you could kiss anyone in the world on midnight at new year's eve, who would be the lucky one? >> ... 3876. You have just taken two sexy people prisoner because they found your hide out and you think they are spies. What do youd do: kill them, hump them or have crumpets and tea? >> What the fuck. 3877. What is your new year's resolution? >> --- 3878. Should the U.S. focus more on the threat from N. Korea or Iraq? >> --- 3879. Would you ever have plastic surgery? >> I don’t know, maybe. Mostly I just can’t afford shit like that, so the answer’s “no” by virtue of that alone. 3880. How can George Bush be considered a Christian when he a war-monger and the ten comandments say do not kill? >> Oh, you know. 3881. What is the most interesting premise for a reality tv show that you can think of? >> --- 3882. Who is the Hollywood Star next to die of a drug overdose? >> --- 3883. Do you find yourself caring a lot about online people, even if you haven't met or spoken to them off of the computer? >> Not... like, as a rule... 3884. When you hear the song puff the magic dragon what do you think? >> Weed, I guess. I don’t have any other associations with that song. 3885. Let's give you a tarot reading. Go on, ask any question: first card: the reversed high preistess. you may be expecting things to come too easily. You should be careful not to give up if they dont go your way. You're feeling a desire to escape, to withdraw into yourself. Shrug off your current lack of focus and work diligently to acheive the goals you want. second card: the reversed hanged man. You shouldnt be close-minded with your situation. There are many alternatives and possible solutions to your problems. Try something new. The last card: Justice. what goes around comes around. Seek advice on the matters at hand from elders. Do healthy things, spiritually and physically. 3886. What does 'boo' mean and how did it become a slang word of affection? >> www.dictionary.com 3887. How often do you stretch? >> Whenever I feel like it. I don’t schedule it or anything. 3888. Have you ever wished that you didn't have to be yourself? >> Yep. 3889. Would you rather wear shoes full of earthworms or a hat full of spiders? >> --- 3890. What are some things that for most people go unsaid? >> Bold of me to assume I know what most people are not saying out loud. Pretty sure mind-reading ain’t a thing. 3891. I said, 'Play me the best song in the world.' You put on: >> --- 3892. What happened last year that you would like to forget? >> --- 3893. What are you not able to do alone? >> Operate a seesaw. 3894. Do you feel more connected to earth air fire or water and why? >> Air, because I have a lot of it in my birth chart, I guess. Also, I just like space. (Both in the sense of “having physical space around me” and “outer space where all the stars and shit are”, although the latter isn’t air per se.) 3895. Which two words belong together and why: life, seawater, chocolate, blood, hair piece >> Depends on what you’re trying to reference, I guess. I can go with “life and chocolate” (obvious movie reference) or “blood and chocolate” (less obvious YA book/movie reference). 3896. If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress? >> Yeah, we all know this joke. 3897. Have you ever wanted to meet the inspectors with the numbers for names(i.e. inspected by 36)? >> What? 3898. Who is the most thought-provoking person you know, &why? >> Me. I stay thinkin about myself.  3899. If you could change 1 thing you did in the last 24 hours, what would it be & why? >> Meh, nothing. 3900. What is the most bizarre thing you've ever done? >> I’m not sure.
0 notes
Text
right, so, i take care of my mother? she is disabled, has a blood cancer, and is on 24/7 supplemental oxygen as a part of treatment for COPD. 
so, she’s been in the hospital all week, because even the mildest of colds tend to turn into hospital trips. this morning i got a phone call to tell me that she’s in the ICU hooked to a BiPAP machine after a minor accident last night. i’m not taking my germ factory of a six-year-old to visit the ICU, so uh. 
i guess i just sit here next to my phone and the house phone, and wait to hear from.. someone. at some point. 
and pay the bills early, in an attempt to shut down some of the paranoid anxiety.
and also lose my mind under the weight of pants-shitting fear.  
or we could talk about anime sure okay let’s do that here we go~
MAL tells me that after Houseki no Kuni, i finally watched Tamako Love Story? which i kind of can’t believe i hadn’t watched before, considering how much i enjoyed Tamako Market. hundreds of episodes is just fine, but committing to a movie, so much too much can’t do it. anyway, Mochizou is really the very Best Boy. he deserves better, but as long as he’s happy, it’s okay. it’s a simple nice little movie. KyoAni makes me weak, and can make me love anything, really. 
neeeext i dove into Kekkai Sensen. it was.. weird? jazz and rock-ish BGM and OP/ED songs, plus the bit of scifi/fantasy blend while taking down bad guys stylishly gave me this Cowboy Bebop feeling. episodic in the same way Bebop is, too. i don’t think it’s gonna change anyone’s life, but it was good! Kekkai Sensen & BEYOND was more of the same, really. a fun stylish time. it made me want to check out Kyousou Giga, because that has the same director? and also it gave me BUMP OF CHICKEN, which.. i mean. that’s one hell of a band name.
usually, my scores for shows are wildly high for personal reasons, or lower than average because at this point i am easily bored by Anime Bullshit For Anime Bullshit Reasons. NHK ni Youkoso! kind of surprised me. i don’t think i connected to it much, outside of “ah.. yeah that’s how it is” thoughts, but it was just.. great. intensely human in the weird way that i like, with diversions into what in the actual shit territory. i think the animation and overall presentation hold up nicely even 10+ years later, so that was neat too. probably watch it if you’ve ever been a shut-in, or felt like you’d like to be one. 
i will always watch historical Japanese anything, because i am a writhing sack of weeb nonsense, so Nobunaga Concerto was always going to please me. apparently, it got skipped when it was airing because EVERYONE HATES CGI U GAIZ? but all around, not a bad show. the CGI wasn’t.. wonderful, but it wasn’t ugly either. i’ll forgive anything for historical context and period clothing, though. and hey, if you love Miyano Mamoru, he plays the lead? 
speaking of seiyuu, i’m pretty sure i had Robotics;Notes on my list just because of Kimura Ryouhei playing a main character. i really can’t think of anything worth watching about this show, outside of the gross internet-person blonde girl. she was pretty excellent. there were robots? uhh.. sure. it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t.. much of anything else, either. 
kids, after the meh rain comes the sun, and the sun is Ballroom e Youkoso. not gonna lie, i love the manga, so i was very much looking forward to this show. it did not disappoint in the least. all the same energy and drama and sweeping action, captured by Production I.G., just like I was hoping. it’s pretty annoying that all i’ve seen about this show is HUR HUR THE NECKS ARE SO LONG jokes? an elongated neck is part and parcel with an ideal silhouette in competitive ballroom dance, and shitgoddamn, do i love a sports anime that nails and emphasizes pertinent details for effect. this is honestly a super-strong adaptation, and seeing the cover art when i went to get the URL for the link just made me want to watch it again, for that giddy feeling when something goes just right for the characters. please ignore the shitbird jokes, because mainstream anime fans can’t handle anything enjoyed unironically, and have fun. also, Pikorin playing a low-energy character is a good time. 
i don’t think i need to say that Saiki Kusuo no Ψ-nan is good, but fuck. it’s so good. like, hopefully you can speed read if your Japanese isn’t great, because there is some overlapping dialogue sometimes, and visual gags involving signs, but. it was funny, and easy to watch for me, and i just. i wish everybody loved this show as much as i do. it was kind of a given for me, because Kamiya Hiroshi is my seiyuu husbando, but still. Hosoyan is in there too, playing a yankii dude and that’s always great. just. if you want a dumb gag show, here you go, it’s good. 
dang. i took a lot of breaks writing this, because i wanted to keep the tone consistent, and now i’m just... even more tired. my phone still hasn’t rung. rang? rungrang. 
right now, i’m keeping up with Koi wa Ameagari no You ni weekly, and that’s good and cute and soothing. in between, i’m trying to finally finish all of Cardcaptor Sakura, because there’s a new sequel airing right now too. didn’t expect Osaka-ben in my magical girl show, but here we are, and it’s pretty calming and nice. 
anyway bye.
ETA: HAHA HOLY SHIT. i completely didn’t even bother mentioning Gochuumon wa Usagi desu ka? and its sequel series. good, it was shit. i like cute girls doing cute things, and it was shit. who rec’d this to me? it was boring and you have shit taste, whoever you are. 
1 note · View note
exileseverafter · 6 years
Text
Chapter 11
A Cleverly-Titled Chapter About Fish
“And now that I know something’s afoot and someone needs help, how can I not assist?”
“Don’t go out when it might rain, Basil.” Basil clung to Aurora’s back as he pulled his hood up over him, ignoring the numb chill already seeping into his fingertips and toes. “You’ve got to stay inside, Basil. Do they think I’m still a child? I’m old enough to shave!” He ran a gloved hand over his smooth chin and frowned. “Eventually. Twenty is an adult by any standard! I know exactly what I’m doing out here. Don’t I, Aurora?” Aurora didn’t make any reply as she ambled out into the woods, leaving behind the clearing housing the cottage, chicken coop, stable and garden. The air around it shimmered from the magical aura of heat his fairy godmothers maintained around it, and some part of him longed to return to it already. The sun hid behind fat gray clouds, making the dense forest just a bit chillier. The weather around the Blue Forest was warmer than it had been in his father’s mountain kingdom, but it was temperamental. Spring warmth occasionally lapsed back into the dreary, dank showers of late winter. On that day cooler winds blew through the valley, shaking the evergreen branches and forcing Basil to pull his scarf around his face. “I love them, really! But if they had their way, I’d be sitting around all day in a hothouse like a pampered rose. What sort of adventurer can only go out when the weather’s fair? It isn’t as if I’ll immediately freeze to death just from getting a little cold water on me.” He rested his chin on the back of the bear’s broad head. “And now that I know something’s afoot and someone needs help, how can I not assist?” This time there was a deep groan from the bear’s throat, though Basil knew she was probably reacting to the beehive he steered past with insistent nudges. “Now, now. While I’m sure they’d appreciate a gift of honeycomb, Grandmother Violet said there’s a trick to that involving boiling water. And you’d eat it all. But let’s pretend you were agreeing with me. There’s got to be something we can do about that Green Witch situation, don’t you think?” Aurora snuffled. “Something…” Basil sighed. His godmothers had agreed to look into the ‘Green Witch’ problem, but neither one had heard of such an entity. There was only so much they could do, and he knew it. They were pooling their magic and energy into keeping him warm and safe. That was the worst part. He was the reason they couldn’t go about granting wishes. They were still bound to him. “If it wasn’t for this stupid curse…hey! Hey, Aurora!” He tugged at the reins that hung loosely from Aurora’s mouth, but the riding bear didn’t listen as she diverged sharply from the overgrown forest path. “We’re going to the G. Chulainn cottage. You know the way! Don’t be stubborn!” The bear ignored him, padding along towards the sound of running water. Basil sighed, hopping off to walk alongside her and slowing her gait with a tug. “Okay, okay! We’ll go to the river first. As if you don’t eat enough at home.” He patted her hide. “Still making up for the winter, old girl?” He remembered days and nights spent indoors, doing monotonous stretches to keep himself in shape and hovering near the fire, and shuddered. “Don’t blame you.” Aurora plodded towards the banks of the seemingly unnamed river that cut through the Blue Forest like a vein, no doubt with fish on her mind. As the two neared the clearing in the trees Basil caught sight of a hulking figure stooping on the banks and a familiar voice spouting the occasional unfamiliar word in a context that suggested a curse. “Oh, Ezra!” Basil felt strangely apprehensive about seeing the giant again, though Ezra had been nothing but kind to him the previous night. But there was always the sense that the condescension someone that big and strong had to feel towards diminutive Basil had to be there somewhere behind Ezra’s fidgeting and aside glances. Still, Prince Charming was never a snob. Ezra startled and turned around, once again giving Basil a bit of an odd stare before speaking. “Your Highness!” He stood up, overalls rather soaked with mud and a large pot in his hand. “I take it you made it home safe? I was a little worried when you took off at such a late-well, early hour. And with the wolves and all…” Was he being treated like a fragile little thing again? And after he’d been the one to save this giant from those same wolves! Basil tossed his braid. “Ha! Wolves are no match for me. Or Aurora,” he amended. “Since I was mostly asleep on the ride back and all. What are you doing out here by the river?” “I’m fishing.” Basil paused, glancing down at that pot. It was damp but empty, and a little muddy. Ezra seemed to catch onto Basil’s confusion, blushing and frowning. “It’s a river, it has fish. I’m catching fish!” “With a pot?” “I-I don’t know how it’s done, alright?” Ezra set the pot on the ground and sat down next to it, right into the mud of the riverbank. “I’ve seen pictures of something with a string on a stick, and nets. I have no net but assumed anything that can be used to catch something would do…” Basil had to bite hard onto his lip to keep from laughing. A prince never laughed at the ignorance of others, especially outsiders. Instead he marched over to the river, Aurora at his side, and patted Ezra on the arm. “Fear not, my friend! I’ll teach you how.” Ezra lowered his head with a relieved sigh, face still a dark red. He raised a brow. “Do royals fish often?” “My family in the palace certainly wouldn’t fish! Except for leisure, I suppose. But here in the woods if one wants trout, one must catch it.” Basil couldn’t contain a big grin on his face this time. “You’ve really never seen anyone fish?” “There aren’t any rivers or lakes in the Sky Islands. The water circulates through the Clouds and wells up, but there aren’t any little things swimming around in it. Thank the Sun and Moon both.” Ezra shuddered in disgust. “Fresh fish is too much trouble to import even for the masked Merchants, so all we get is salted and dried fish. And it’s very expensive. But!” He gestured towards the river. “Here you get it for free! I suppose if you can find one…” “Ah, yes! The woods are abundant in the spring and summer.” Basil crouched by the riverbank and peered into the clear running water as Aurora waded right in. “Personally I don’t know how the rest of my family stands it, sitting around letting someone else serve them food drenched in sauces and salt.” “It’s a luxury.” Ezra was now resting with his elbows on his knees, watching Basil with a more relaxed look. “A mark of importance. It means you’re noteworthy enough to have food prepared especially for you to the standards of an expert chef. Or a baker, like me. I mean, I assume that’s the case?” Basil regarded him for a moment and then gave an exaggerated shrug, making it as clear as possible how little need he had for ‘luxuries.’ “Whenever I visit I always leave those feasts with a stomachache and a desire for simple fresh bread. Although it is nice seeing everyone. There’s a sort of community to it all that…” Wait, what was Basil going on about? He prided himself in how well he enjoyed his rustic forest life. He was absolutely fine, and wasn’t going to show signs otherwise in front of others. “Well,” he added, a bit louder than he intended, “it’s just not for me.” Ezra blinked and frowned again. “Come to think of it, why do you live out here instead of in your family’s palace? Isn’t it safer there? I mean, you are royalty, and…” Perhaps Ezra realized he’d said something wrong by the glare Basil shot him on instinct. Safer? What need did Basil have of safety? Prince Charming didn’t hide behind walls and adorn herself in jewels, did she? The chilly wind bit at Ezra’s fingers and the numb feeling crept to his wrists. He hugged his chest for a second until it passed. Prince Charming was also humble, and Basil had to remind himself again as he bit his thumbnail and took a deep breath. His smile came back, though perhaps his tone was a little too cocky. “Ha! And ha again at ‘safer.’ Just because I’m a human doesn’t mean I need to be hidden away!” “I didn’t mean it that way, Highness!” “And just because I can’t snap a tree branch in two doesn’t mean…” Basil caught himself, clearing his throat. “My apologies. That was unbecoming of me. I live here for my health. The fresh air is good for me.” That was a gross simplification of his situation, but it wasn’t untrue. A palace in the mountains was no place for someone in his condition. “I never said you were weak,” Ezra mumbled. “I…sorry, I’m doing rather poorly at conversation today. Can we get to the fishing?” “Right, of course.” Basil, trying hard not to dwell on how he’d managed to run his own mouth, whistled to Aurora and signaled her with a swooping hand motion. Aurora didn’t need to be told twice. She waited until just the right moment before she slapped a fish right out of the river onto the bank. It flopped around helplessly. When Ezra saw it he jumped to his feet and stumbled back, staring as if he worried it might explode. “Oh, Ezra! Lend me your pot!” Basil didn’t want for permission, grabbing the cooking pot and finding it remarkably heavy for something Ezra held one-handed. With a great deal of effort he refused to let show, Basil managed to fill the pot partially with water and toss the fish in. He caught his breath. “There! That’ll do for a bit. We’ll catch a few that way.” Ezra was still looking down at the fish with mild disgust and horror, pulling away from it. “It wiggled!” “Yes! They do that when you take them out of water.” Basil’s arms were still sore from moving that heavy pot, and he wondered at anyone who was strong enough to do that effortlessly but timid about a little fish. “Is it…common to fish with bears?” “Not at all, but there’s no better way if you ask me! Aurora’s such a good girl, as long as she’s able to eat every other fish she catches.” Basil looked proudly over to the white bear, who had a larger fish hanging out of her mouth. Ezra’s gold eyes were wide. “…Fascinating.” The water splashing against Basil’s trousers was starting to chill and sting as if he were being pricked with needles of ice, and he started to notice how numb his toes were under his boots. But he’d promised to help, and even if this seemed like a far less ambitious difficulty than the one presented by the Flower Folk princess, it was better than retreating back home and hiding under blankets. He told himself it was probably nothing, even as he pulled his cloak closer around him. “Are you cold? Do you need to come back and have a hot drink?” Ezra looked down at Basil with that unnerving concern again. “I’m fine! I-I mean, I’ll be quite alright. I appreciate your humble offer of kindness.” Basil knew the last bit sounded rehearsed and forced, and scolded him for having to fake gratefulness towards genuine, innocent compassion. Prince Charming wouldn’t have to do that, he was sure, curse or no curse. He decided to change the subject. “Come to think of it, what does a baker need with fish?” “It’s for a recipe. One of the fancier ones in my family’s cookbook. I believe the best way to learn something is to jump into it headfirst, and if I’m to come up with something more impressive for next week’s Marketplace trip I have to start soon.” Ezra rubbed his hands together, speaking faster now that he was in familiar territory. “You see, I found some cubed pumpkin preserved in a wax jar last time I went. For a good price, too! I’m astonished since they aren’t in season here, but I suppose they must be somewhere.” “…Pumpkin, sir? And fish?” “To quote the book, ‘a dish for elegant, refined and courageous palates: Herring and Pumpkin Pot Pie.’” Ezra spoke with reverence as if describing a treasured vase. Basil, meanwhile, had to carefully look away towards Aurora to disguise any terror that might be showing in his eyes. If it was a dish for courageous palates, he would have to try it. Besides, Prince Charming would certainly support a friend’s attempts to improve his craft. But pumpkin! And herring…! He could recall tasting strange combinations during his palace visits that seemed like they ought not to work but did, in the hands of the talented palace chef. He’d had meatballs cooked in honey and pork with dried fruit, and loved both. But pumpkin! And herring…! A solution made itself clear, like a star in a dark fog. “Oh, er, Ezra? Herring is an ocean fish.” Ezra stared, some of the color draining from his face. “It’s an ocean fish? There’s a difference?” He ran a hand through his hair, eyes wide and bewildered. “I did not do as much research on the Center of the Universe as I thought. Oh, I can’t believe this!” He slumped and covered both hands with his face. “It’s all so complicated…” He had really wanted to make that fish pie, hadn’t he? Basil felt he’d never really understand fancy cuisine no matter how refined and courageous a palate he ought to have, but he was starting to regret derailing Ezra’s ambition so quickly. He hesitantly set a hand on the giant’s back, smiling. “There now, it’ll be alright! I’m sure we can make something with trout. Or you can make pumpkin tarts. Something simple!” And appetizing like strawberry pie, Basil added mentally. Ezra sat there in the mud for a moment before making eye contact with Basil again. “It isn’t that,” the giant said in a weak voice. “I mean, that is frustrating. I’ve just had a rough morning and thought I could clear my head with fishing so I could spend the afternoon practicing a recipe, but nothing is working out.” “Rough morning?” “I panicked when the princess told me something rather troubling, and I was rather abrupt and rude with her.” Ezra picked up a stick and stirred the water idly. “She seems like a wonderful person and I do want to help her. But it’s just…as I said, everything is very complicated here. The Center of the Universe is where the Sun and the Moon hid the discord of the world according to our religion, and I’m starting to think that’s the case. There are weird markets and creatures everywhere, the world’s entirely too small and too vast at the same time.” He looked upwards towards the cloudy sky. “You don’t even see the Sun every day.” Before Basil could answer, Ezra turned to him and smiled. It was a rather weak smile, but the first Basil had seen from the giant since they’d met. He looked striking when he did that, Basil had to admit. “Thank you for helping me, Prince. I didn’t mean to thank you with a litany of my own dull problems. But I just feel safe around you. You help people you don’t even know, and that isn’t very common where I come from. Is that part of your ‘Prince Charming’ persona?” “Well, I…” Whatever Basil had been about to say in modest but sincere pride fell out of his head as soon as he started to respond. He hadn’t done anything except teach Ezra about fishing. That wasn’t very princely, not compared with saving a kingdom. Shouldn’t he have been working on that? Certainly he felt warmer when Ezra smiled, but it was still a little spark. Basil needed a blaze. But a giant capable of breaking Basil in two if he felt the urge felt safe around him, when there was nothing more dangerous about than the weather. That had to mean something, didn’t it? “Wait, Ezra. What did the princess say?” As Basil went over Ezra’s words, a thought stuck to his mind like a burr. “Wait, why did she go to you for-agh!” Distracted by his own confusion, Basil took a step back into the slick mud and slipped, falling into the shallow banks of the river. The water was not deep and the current was weak, mud breaking his fall. But all Basil could concentrate on was the biting, painful chill of the cold river water engulfing his body. He forced himself to sit up and gasp for air, but could do little else besides shiver uncontrollably, unsure how he was even able to move his arms if he couldn’t feel them. His heart pounded in his chest, his breath coming too fast for speech. His cloak hung soaked around him, the fur dripping with mud and leaves. Ezra’s shouts sounded distant and incoherent, and Basil barely realized what was happening when a pair of arms lifted him up. Was he being carried by Aurora or Ezra? He could hear the bear’s alert rumbles and grunts, feeling a nuzzle of wet fur and warmth against his face. He found himself wrapped in Ezra’s tattered coat, though he couldn’t remember Ezra doing that. Then he found himself rushing through the woods, Ezra carrying him like precious cargo and following Aurora back down the familiar path. Basil retreated into the coat and shivered, unable to think of more than the terrible chill creeping down his arms and legs. (Author’s note: I’m told that herring and pumpkin pot pie is actually very good.)
3 notes · View notes
kimnamjelly-blog · 7 years
Text
Thicker Than the Water of the Womb
Write a self para about your character of at least 1800 {total is 2684} words about their love life and/or their wished for love life.  {a day late but i’m not trying to qualify so eh}
Peaches irreparably reminded him of Ares—from that first day he spoke to him, the first time he dipped down to touch lips and tasted traces of homemade peach ice cream left from it, falling asleep during his lessons under the peach trees... There was a tendency for the three of them to compare Ares to an angel. In some ways it was a joke, because no people knew better than them what Ares could be like, but it was also hopelessly genuine. Peaches and angelic smiles. That full-body laughter that made Namjoon’s heart ache like it’s too small to hold so much warmth. Those looks Ares gave him sometimes, like he was the whole world in some ways, and Namjoon was sure, absolutely sure, that he would die for him. Maybe die because of him.
Jazz was a king, the gentlest man, the youngest, silently still, soft stars. He was more than skin and scars and tattoos could contain. Meeting him was a fluke, and inarguably a brilliant blip in time. Those deviations persisted until he could feel harmonies singing under his blood. Jazz was his strength in ways he could never imagine, given that he saw him a few days a week past midnight like the universe’s most beautiful, captured dream. He imagined his fingers interlocked with his when he hadn’t quite learned for himself what steady hands were, and Jazz’s were the steadiest. There were fences he didn’t realize he could climb until Jazz was on the other side, asking him whether he had the strength to come along. He did, he found out, and wanted that love that didn’t leave him gripping the edge of the sink and sobbing. That love that was tucked into the soft smile Jazz got, that forgave him for things Namjoon hadn’t even gotten to yet, that asked him questions and sought answers he hadn’t realized were worth giving. Where Ares was still yet an unreachable seraphim, Jazz was tangible and more than enough. More than enough to realize his perspective on support and smiles was completely wrong. Love wasn’t a fluke like first meetings could be, it wasn’t an act of providence, it wasn’t just in passerby or just the local angel. It was close by and steady as a rock, even when its cracks showed.
There were laws in order that suggested when paths intertwined too many times without meaning, the world would conspire to make them meet. Burned cheeks under layers and layers of sunscreen, hands awash in painted rainbows like a gay pride parade, and the distinct memory of laughter caught under his tongue and an earnestness to know. There was a humor to Hazel that was aglow in the boniness of his arms, defiance and strength met head-on that had seen things Namjoon simply hadn’t yet. In so many ways, Namjoon yearned to be loved. He asked it of Hazel, and somewhere, somehow, he’d given it over because he was gentler than Jazz and sweeter than Ares under his bruised, grumbling eyes. He could have met him amongst honey bees, or under Jongup’s steady hands and ink, but he met him alone, surrounded by sunlight and brick and an almost-toppled glass of water. For a time, he was most afraid of failing him, of being less than Hazel had imagined him to be—especially when he had a moat, a cave, a whole decrepit childhood castle of worthlessness and injury—but somewhere, somehow, he realized he’d failed to see Hazel as so, so, so human. And that’s when he fell in love, sitting at the apartment table across the room and doing nothing. Nothing of import.
They’d snuck into his heart like he’d never had walls there in the first place, and he was pretty sure he’d let them. If there had been a fight, they bore no bruises. No stretch marks (no, he’d been to slow for that). Just him trying to remember when, exactly, he’d given them the key to the front gate one by one, and how they managed to see him broken and bleeding and bruised and sobbing and still wanted him.
Calling it a miracle wouldn’t do them justice.
Eventually, they’d find and ask about the journal he’d forgotten about, with entries so old his handwriting was not only chicken scratch but almost completely illegible. But they wouldn’t know about its companion for some time, and Namjoon kind of preferred it that way. It wasn’t that it was filled with horrors and nightmares. It was, in fact, the first’s exact opposite. Writing out all the bad things to make sense of them was nice in theory, but once the pages started being filled deep into the latter half of a hundred, the negativity was overwhelming. So he’d been given a second journal where the first twenty-three pages were in smudged lilac pen and the rest would make do in varying shades of purple. Most of the lilac pages were crowded with Kijung, sometimes Kitae or Jiha, and he’d memorized the pages where his parents had made it in so he never had to read them until he was ready.
But around when the magenta fountain pen had started being used, and what was Korean turned into shaky English, there were mentions of Ares. Right when the violet pen started running out came Jazz, and with the pinky-lavender was Hazel. He had a vague idea of what he was doing when he wrote about them, harboring a suspicion that if he looked back on these things he’d want to hide this journal both from himself and somewhere deep where no else one could find it either.
So he usually wrote with as much maturity as he could muster for the sake of whatever future self decided to self-inflict embarrassment, but still things like, “He’s so cute I’m going to vomit” made it in there. Luckily, given most contexts, he couldn’t really blame himself. It was still relatable and applicable and probably always would be.
2011/8/8
Didn’t mean to not write for so long. Hyunja locked me out of our room. The roof is better than sleeping next to him, anyway. There are some really bright stars even with all the street lamps on. Maybe I can sneak out to visit the library? To look up constellation names or something. Kinda need sleep, though, and the shingles aren’t exactly God’s best mattress. Work was gross today (temperature was in the high thirties and I wanted to peel my skin off), but the peaches are really pretty. They get this kinda reddish color. I expected them to be lighter for some reason. More pinkish. I met Park Jimin yesterday. He’s younger than me, I think? I was really embarrassing, but he made me smile. Some guy was being dumb and Jimin-ah punched him. I’d let him punch me, too. If he wanted. Forcing me to take credit for the peaches he picked was as close as I’ll get, though, probably. Equally as humbling. I was kind of thinking of his ears the whole time because I said some stupid things (I didn’t really expect him to speak Korean, actually, which I guess was pretty stupid of me) but he also has nice ears. If he blushes they go more pink than the peaches. The whole of him is really nice though. And I mean whole. He punched someone but I would have, too, if I were him, and he’s really nice. About as nice as his parents, so I guess it runs in families, huh? Gotta wonder about me, then. But if Jimin-ah liked me okay, I must be nice enough, too. (Consensus: “nice” is the word of the day) Remember when I said I thought maybe I could be gay? He was really cute. I wonder if he’s okay being called that? It’s probably not better to call him pretty, but. Yeah. It’ll be nice to have someone to talk to if I see him again.
2011/8/9
On a scale of petty, where would I lie for locking Hyunja out of our room? Just hypothetically, really. I don’t feel like getting scalped today. Or ever. Update: Jimin-ah’s laugh just about killed me today. He still hasn’t punched me, but I’m waiting. It’s an open (unspoken) invitation. For the record, he did laugh that first day but I was kinda distracted by how embarrassed I was to be me. Existence is a real struggle. I’m fully prepared for this crush. But he’s not too distracting, which is nice. I mean, he’s distracting if he can be distracting, but I’m still getting plenty of work done. Accidentally broke some shit today and was ignored, which is better than literally any realistic alternative.
[...]
2011/9/3
Hey, America? English sucks. Kim Namjoon Kim Namjoon Kim Namjoon Kim Namjoon Park Jimin Park Jimin Park Jimin. He has good p a handriting. That looks wrong. I didn’t He’s really, really nice. I think noona would have liked him? I miss It was cooler out today because it rained last night. Grass grows really fast. There’s already some green everywhere, so I hope it rains again (even if I can’t go out at night). I miss the flowers.
[...]
2011/12/20
Somehow no one has noticed I d have my ears pierced. It has been more than two weeks. Eiht Eighteen days. They said six to eight weeks, so I will listen to them. My ears feel okay, though. It will be worth the money to buy earrings. Small circles? Hoops. If Hyunja sees them, I think he will rip them out, but I have been sleeping out on the roof again. I forgot the word, sorry. I was right. Jimin looks nice. I do not know how to describe him. Not in English, but I promised I would practice. Verb tenses are worst. Writing this has taken a long time. He looks at me sometimes and I do not think it. I freeze up and want to cry kind of. I have to leave this job soon, though, and I do not want to. I will miss the peaches. Jimin goes to the same high school as me. I will not miss him as much. Because of him I am far in my English classes even though it is not my language, but it still takes time to read assignments. I do not have a lot of time. The CHSPE does not need good grades before though. I will do my best.
[...]
10/21/2012
I still think America writes their dates... stupidly. I just took the CHSPE and I’m sending Jimin kisses for all he’s done for me (like I’ll ever kiss him aha). And my English teachers, of course. The test didn’t go so bad, but it’s hard to tell until we get the results back. I have to wait for those and pretend like someone’s not going to have my hide if I end up failing. The math was easiest, but I feel an okay sort of confident. It still sucks not having any classes with Jimin, but I never have. Also, Halloween still makes me laugh. If Hyunja goes to answer the door this year I’ll hit him with a frying pan. He can keep his gross hands off of the children dressed like Darth Vader and stuff. They’re so little every year oh my god. I mean I have my nieces and nephews but it’s different. Plus mine don’t dress up like Snow White, you know?
[...]
2/28/2013
okay okay okay okay I’m so gay it hurts. I’m okay.
So I met someone on one of my midnight things. It was the frozens section and I was embarrassing as usual but oh my god he had the cutest smile and I’m still hurting. His name is Moon Jongup, which I’m writing down so I don’t make a fool of myself when I see him again. I had to show him something so I asked him to find me on the street off of where I went when I was avoiding the dead body in our room. Which is morbid I guess but the place is really pretty, and it’s not like I’m going to tell him why I went there? I hope he likes it. It’s far enough from home that we should be okay. I wasn’t really thinking when I asked and now I’m really nervous. But what’s done is done and I’ll meet him. Bring a book, maybe, just in case he doesn’t show up. Which would make sense. I’m reading a really good book right now. I’ve been reading it for ages, though, so it’ll be nice to have an excuse to maybe get past chapter seven. I haven’t seen Jimin a lot lately, but sometimes he’ll drag me to sit with him at lunch if he finds me cleaning. Someone should tell him he’s beautiful since I’m in too deep to properly do it. He might hear it all the time, actually, but telling someone their appearance is beautiful is different than telling someone their personality is beautiful, you know? I’m usually really tired by lunchtime because I don’t know what sleep means, but he brightens my day if he’s there.
3/3/2013
So I had another gay awakening with Jongup, right? But that’s kind of whatever, because he’s just really easy to talk to. And that’s better than any gay awakening. We have to keep agreeing to meet each other because he doesn’t have a phone (he’s younger than me, which like wow. Where does he get off looking like that at 15? That feels really young, by the way, but only when I realize I’m 16, which still doesn’t feel real). He told me about constellations. We didn’t end up waiting for sunrise because the sky was cloudless and those sunrises are kind of boring, but it was a really nice night to look at the stars, and he seems really passionate about those. It suits his family name really well. Also, he has a few tattoos already and I know not to ask about them, but he’s kind of amazing. For making decisions like that already, and they’re really good looking. They’re just these small details, and I obviously can’t know if the ones I’ve seen are all he has visible because it’s cold as balls at night still and long sleeves are a survival measure, but yeah. They look good on him.
[...]
8/19/2014
I told Jongup about the artist who’s painting the side of the restaurant, and even if I didn’t make the artist laugh, I made Jongup laugh. So I’ll settle. Which yeah by the way, there’s an artist painting the side of the restaurant. Because I think there was some miscommunication about lunch, I ended up giving him some of mine. I don’t know the details, but it was super gross outside, so I figured he’d want something. Water and stuff. His art is really beautiful. He was painting this lily when I went out to talk to him first and... I guess I wouldn’t peg him as someone who paints flowers, but it’s really beautiful so far. I can’t wait to see it finished. Also, I hope he doesn’t get heatstroke. If I had a standup umbrella or something I’d bring it for him. Think I can make him smile? It’s gonna be a feat when it looks like he’s been running on two hours of sleep and has been sitting out in the sun for hours on end, but I kind of want to see it.
[...]
13/19/2014
GUESS WHO MADE HIM SMILE. It took fucking forever and he’s just about done with his mural but hey guess what. It’s really cute. Turns out grumpy artists paint the best flowers and have the best smiles. I gotta go but I had to make that announcement at least. Bye!
1 note · View note
themostunquietmind · 7 years
Text
Day 18 (whoops...)
Once again, I have failed myself. From day 5 to day 18? What trash am I lol. 
But where to begin. So many things have happened in the 2 weeks since I last wrote. First things first, I suppose: I did not kill myself. So woohoo for me. 
But I don’t understand how I’m still breathing when I literally feel like I’ve died. I don’t know if I’m alive. I don’t know if this is real life. I keep asking myself how I got here, how I got to this point. I sit and look at all of the events leading up to this moment and I feel... nothing. Maybe I need to dissect all of the events that got me here to find clarity. 
Tinder. What a glorious fucking app. What an app, guys. What a fucking app. For all of the miserable people to find other people just as miserable as them to do things God would not approve of. And voila! I found myself on this app... But who was first... 
Nathan: what a lovely man. Super skinny and nerdy. A redhead. He bought me chicken tenders at a restaurant in Richmond. And that’s it. No hooking up. No sex. We didn’t even kiss. What a lovely evening we had together. But the thing about Nathan is that he was out of my league. A literal genius. He only wanted to make money. He didn’t want children. He didn’t see the point. So when he told me he didn’t see us going anywhere, I wasn’t too upset. But of course he couldn’t just let it go there; he had to tell me the reasons things couldn’t work out between us. Essentially, I am an underachiever and I’m not going anywhere in life. Thank you, Nathan. My skewed perception of myself was not fulfilled without those words from you. 
So onto Navroop. Nav for short. What a lovely face he had. But unfortunately, that’s where the attraction ended. What a scrawny man. And he didn't have toilet paper in his apartment... I’m still salty about this. So I went to Nav’s for the sole purpose of hooking up because at this point A and I were going nowhere fast. So I went to sleep with Nav. But Nav was gross. After he gave me very precise pecks on the neck and lips, I should have left. But I convinced myself that I could do it! I could fucking do it. But I couldn’t. Once he took his pants off and said “what do you think” with the most smug look on his face, I grabbed my shit and left. Bye bye Nav. I don’t miss you. 
And then we get Brandon. Oh Brandon. Your inexperience made you so endearing. The steroids though.. I wasn’t a fan. Things with A and I were still so up in the air. No official status. No exclusion. Nothing. So Brandon. I actually remember some of the context with Brandon. I remember that I was so desperate for someone to want me... I had myself so convinced that all I needed was a physical connection -- someone to just sleep with regularly, and I would be happy. A and I were going to end. What was the point of even trying. So Brandon. He was close. He had a nice body (due to the steroids, but whatever). And he had a killer smile. So I slept with him. A whopping 3 times. The poor guy. He just wanted to get laid, but I realized that I’m not a casual sex kind of girl. So I made this poor man talk to me for 2 hours before I even let him touch me. But he was kind and patient, so it was okay. Unfortunately, he was also a flaming asshole. So when he told me he wanted a fuck buddy and that’s it, I was hype. But then he broke his own rules by asking me for girl advice. What a fucking cunt. So things ended after that. Although that didn’t stop him from reaching out occasionally asking for sex. I did not oblige. 
So after Brandon came Joe. Or was it Reza. Oh who cares. After Brandon came Joe. And Joe was a joy. He had this sweet little daughter. And he let me spend the night with him and he snuggled and it was so lovely. And I actually thought Joe and I had potential. But at  this point in my relationship with A, things were crumbling. So I was scared. So scared of being alone. So I threw myself at Joe and sufficiently scared the shit out of him. Joe and I only had sex twice. Enjoyable nonetheless, but not noteworthy. So when he told me he wanted to be friends with no benefits, I knew I wouldn’t ever see him again. So I was alone. Alone with A. Who didn’t want me. 
Which led me to Reza. The pharmacist wannabe. He was beautiful. Although his mild lisp drove me fucking bonkers. He literally met all of my requirements. Sweet, funnyy, outgoing, ambitious, a family man... And so many other things. But Reza was the Ashley to me as a Joe. He was so fucking into me. And I was not into that. But hey, everyone deserves a chance, right? Wrong. I should have just told Reza to fuck off. But I didn’t. So I added another useless number to my body count. Reza counts as the worst sex of my life (if we can even call it sex). By my definition, a guy humping you, yelling obscenities, and cumming in under 5 minutes doesn’t count as sex. But hey, I don’t make the rules. So where did I end up? Back with A. But A still didn’t want me for more than a minute. 
Kia. We can’t forget Kia. Forever my best friend. Bless that boy and the late night Skype calls in 8th grade while I was crying with a razor over my body and him begging me not to... What a guy. He was also the reason I took a handful of Benadryl (which only made me sleep for 48 hours -- trash), but that’s a story for another day. Kia stopped by on his way to Tech or something. I blew him. It was insignificant. It took about 5 minutes. But it matters. Everything matters. 
Jorey. Back to the past. So lonely. So fucking lonely. One friday night I invited him over at 10pm. He drove the hour and a half to see me. It was supposed to be just sex. But we had so much sex. I don’t even know how much, but damn it was a lot. And I was content with the sex. But things had to get so fucking complicated because he loves me. And I thought that I loved him. I mean I’m sure I’ll always love him, but not in the way he needs me to. So I broke his heart again. And for that I will forever be sorry. I hope he never forgives me; I don’t deserve it. But I told A about Jorey. A didn’t have a problem. A was doing the same with someone else. It was fine. It was cool. But it wasn’t. It never is. 
After Jorey came Mark and Jenn. I know they’re two separate people, but their stories go hand-in-hand. Mark, my internet crush for over 10 years. And his wife Jenn. I don’t even know why him and I started talking again... But we did. And that was such a huge mistake. So we talked. And I talked to his wife too. And she.... She is such a special individual. But she’s also fucking crazy. So hey, let’s just drive from colorado to VA for ashley’s 21st birthday. Why not. So they came. And it was so lovely. Dinner and drinks, and snuggles. So many wonderful things. I kissed Jenn a handful of times while they were here, but I didn’t even really touch Mark. He made me nervous. And on the last day, we talked about sex. We decided not to have sex. We decided that because I didn’t feel comfortable, we weren’t going to have sex. But that night, Jenn kissed me goodnight, but it didn’t stop at a goodnight kiss. It was just her and I for such a long time, I didn’t think Mark was going to join. But he eventually did. And it was an interesting experience. I don’t regret it because it was an experience. But I regret them. I regret bringing them into my life. I regret bringing them into my web of shit. They deserved so much better than me. And so does A... Of course he didn’t want me. I don’t want me. I don’t even know why he’s still talking to me... I want to die. 
But it doesn’t stop with Mark and Jenn. There was Ed. Who had a massive blowout breakup on Facebook. We talked after that because he was making very... distasteful posts about his ex. So we talked. And we snapped. And nothing ever came of it. He said he would visit me in Richmond, I said I’d visit him in NOVA. But it never happened. I’m full of empty promises. So him and his ex got back together, and good for them. But he still tried to hook up with me. He repeatedly asked for sexy snaps... I couldn’t oblige. I refused. We don’t talk anymore. 
And then Jake. My final fling. We met in a bar. He saved me from the creepiest of creeps. He kissed me on the dance floor and gave me his number. I had sex with Jake twice. Not noteworthy, but enjoyable at the time. Jake was exactly what I needed. A and I just had such a big blowout. We even called things off. But we were still in limbo. But Jake. Jake made me feel lovely. Like I was worth everything. He was so intrigued by me. But I had to say goodbye to Jake. Because A found out. And it’s better this way, because Jake didn’t deserve a person like me. No one deserves a person like me. A doesn’t deserve a person like me... 
So now it’s just me and A. But A hates me. A wants to cause me pain and tear me apart. And I’m going to let him. I deserve it. But I don’t think he deserves to have to deal with me. 
As much as I want to fight and claim that A and I were never together, were never official, I knew all of the guys above were wrong; I knew A would be pissed. I don’t know why I did it. I guess I was living for the moment. Stupid. Because none of it was worth losing him. Which I think needs to happen. I think I need to say goodbye to him. Because he deserves better than this. He deserves better than me. No one deserves to have to deal with me. No one. 
I really should kill myself. If I do, I won’t hurt the people in my life anymore. I won’t hurt the people not already in my life. I would do so many favors if I just disappeared. I want to disappear. 
0 notes