#just do part time studying

[jakeperalta]

I'm curious. what job would you do if money was no object (you just automatically had an income you could live comfortably on)? including work like volunteering, studying etc. please share in the tags :)

#under this premise part time work is valid too! #personally i think i'd probably study. maybe do another masters maybe part time across two years this time #if i were to do a job job i think i'd try out working in a library (ideally an academic library). which would technically be more studying #since i'd need to get a library qualification first #i'm just very curious what people would choose if it was purely a choice of what appeals to you over the practicality/necessity #talking

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 1: Dread on Arrival

(Part 2)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #jiang fengmian #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #Yungmeng Jiang Training Arc AU #MDZS AU #The AU name for this idea is something I am 100% willing to change if someone has a better one. #There will be at least 2-3 more comics so *please*. Ideas and feedback welcome. #The core idea behind this AU is that LWJ goes to study with the Yunmeng Jiang sect instead of JC and WWX going to Cloud Recess #But why? Well I imagine Lan Xichen set it up to give LWJ a challenge (more social than skill based) and LWJ rose to it (begrudgingly) #Sort of a 'You've mastered so many Lan techniques but Other Sects have styles that are worth learning.' set up. #Lan Qiren agrees mostly on the basis that...well it's LWJ. Yunmeng Jiang is unruly but LWJ is beyond that riff-raff. He'll rise above it. #This is the story of a boy who thrives on routine and rules spending time in a place that is his apparent antithesis. #Also it is so warm there. He is used to it being cold and what do you MEAN just take off some of my layers? #I just want to see him struggle and flail in many situations. And get him in Jiang Purple. Is that so wrong of me? #(Soaking wet JC is part of my 'JC was born to swim; forced to hold a sword' agenda. Do not remove him from the water) #((Politeness notes: JFM would *not* call LWJ 'lan wangji' nor would LWJ be vocally impolite to a sect leader.))

[devotion-disorder]

May I ask what do you use to draw and what pens do you use? Your art is truly beautiful and id like to know how to improve my own art, if you have any tips that is.

first of all THANKMK YOU and I use clip studio paint, these are what i use the most!

i hope this isn't too messy to read LOL

as for art tips, here are some bits and tips just based on my experience (sorry ive got a lot to say)

An artist I really look up to once said becoming good at art is learning to systemize your processes - i didn't really understand it at first but now i think nothing captures it more succinctly than this

Experiment!!! don't worry about "not sticking to your style"; experimenting IS how you will develop a style by finding what you like and don't like

This is gonna sound cliche but don’t be discouraged if you are not satisfied with your art; it means you are improving and you have critical vision just that your art muscles hadnt caught up

Draw as much as you can! I've been doing digital art for ~5-6 years but for almost 4 of those years i was just moping around and drawing about once a month - to this day i still regret wasting so much time 😭😭

Adding on to that, find something that will motivate you to draw as much as you can/ gives you confidence. for me it was actively participating in fandoms and having supportive friends; drawing consistently won't be as useful if you are not actively aiming to become better

that said everyone’s learning process with art is unique and honestly i still have a long long way to go myself LOL hope this helps!!!!good luck n have fun!!!!!!!

#ask #theunderneath #and ig do studies and references etc etc but i think everyone knows tht already #i feel like i had to work through a lot of dumb issues that were just caused by myself #like complete total silliness on my part #for a long time i was really weird and uptight about drawing #and wanting to draw a certain way #but i found that for me personally #i draw best when im going monkey brain unga bunga #and finally learnt to actually have fun with drawing

[stuckinapril]

There will not be a single moment next week in which I’m not running around doing something

#full time studying / volunteering at the refugee center / volunteering at two clinics #literally ab to have a meeting ab shadowing a doctor who’s researching ftd dementia in like 50 minutes #organic chemistry research 5 days a week bc ur bitch is trying to get published #hitting the gym 6 days a week. I’ll probably have to move it to mornings soon #meal prep #trying to snag a lowkey part time job #trying to read 30 minutes before bed #somehow have 2 fit a social life into this #I’m excited bc I finally feel like my time budgeting abilities are being put to the test BUT holy fuck . #studying will be my no 1 priority always. literally catch me doing anki cards in any pocket of free time I have #but I better live up to the challenge of juggling everything else too #ik I got this. and these are all things im choosing to do. not things I have to do #and I love being busy so it’ll be so fun #just had to be in awe for a second bc I used to admire girls who’re like this. and I am officially about to be one of them #p

[crispyjenkins]

(AC wip) The Savage Price of Piety

it's desmond's deathday and i wrote like. 9,000 more words to this wip (first two parts here) last week and i want to brag about it, so happy deathday you wet bastard (mostly gen but with a surprise rarepair, time travel/reincarnation, found family, william miles’ a+ parenting, accidental subterfuge, desmond goes by miles mostly, inspired by study of flight by @esamastation but with a twist!, only somewhat historically accurate swears by which i mean probably not at all but leonardo had some Opinions alright) have some (three) chronological but scattered bits of scenes

  “Oh,” Claudia says as soon as she opens the door, seeing Ezio’s rather wretched expression, “you’ve figured it out, then.”

  “You could have told me,” he growls, following her into the entryway and closing the door behind himself. 

  Claudia scoffs, spinning on heel to lead the way further into the building for the kitchens. “I had one conversation with the boy, brother, I was hardly sure of it myself. Wait,” she halts and points a finger at him accusingly, “how did you figure it out?”

  Ezio, quite graciously he thinks, ignores the subtle insult to his intelligence. Sighing, he pushes back his hood before their mother sees him with it on indoors, and runs a hand over his beard. “I had Leonardo visit.”

  Claudia’s face slackens, before twisting into a rage that has Ezio stepping away warily.

  But she punches the wall instead of her brother, a shouted “Gods damn it!” echoing in the narrow space. Then she spins on her heel and hollers further into the residential part of the bordello, “Mother! We forgot about Leonardo!”

  Horrified by his sister and concerned for his mother’s current mental state, Ezio reaches out to put a hand on Claudia’s arm, but he doesn’t get the chance before Maria de' Auditore is shouting right back, “God damn it!”

  Grumbling, Claudia stomps down the hall and leaves a very confused Ezio hurrying to follow; she ignores all his pleas for explanation until she’s stomped into the kitchen, where their mother is pouring two very large glasses of wine, with very little water to cut down the potency. She passes one to Claudia silently, and then they both drink, though luckily they aren’t attempting to down it all at once.

  “I can’t believe we forgot the Maestro,” their mother mutters to herself as she comes over to kiss Ezio on both cheeks, before shoving the still mostly-full glass into his hands.

  “Forgot him for what?” Ezio wants to know, clutching the glass like a mother clutches a babe.

  “To test if Miles really is an Auditore.” It’s said so flippantly, like it doesn’t affect Claudia at all, but she also collapses into one of two chairs at the little tea table under the largest window. Their mother takes the other, massaging her forehead and looking like she’s grieving their family all over again.

  It occurs to Ezio, as he moves to stand next to the table, that she probably is.

--

“It’s all up to you now, Seventeen.”

  Desmond opens his eyes to the dark of the dormitory, faint moonlight cutting over the floor between his bed and Nino’s, and he can’t bring himself to move — even to roll off his arm that is very much still asleep. 

  Clay still haunts him.

  Five hundred fucking years, and his current twenty-four besides, and that fucker still won’t leave him alone. If Desmond were not so familiar with what an actual Bleed feels like, he’d almost think Clay is stuck in his brain the same way as his ancestors. Thank fuck he stopped Bleeding Ezio’s memories and feelings, while still retaining much of the training.

  Fuck, time travel is so weird.

  Or, reincarnation? He’s not sure of much, but he’s sure he was dead, he’s sure he burned, and he’s sure that though his 15th century mother had affectionately called him [redacted], his name is Desmond Miles.

  Or just Miles, he supposes. Sue him, he panicked when Adele first approached him, and the best aliases are ones you know you’ll respond to, right? If only he’d have had the forethought to divorce himself from his... future family’s surname.

  It sounds different enough with an Italian accent that it hasn’t caused any problems, yet. Like making him flinch. Or snapping that he hasn’t been a Miles since he was sixteen.

  Granted, he still has no idea what he would go by instead. Altaïr and Conner would feel weird, while Sef or Darim are just a bit on the nose, and does he look like an Edward? Malik, maybe. His grandmother here, now, is actually from the Levant, so his skin is certainly dark enough that people wouldn’t be surprised by the name.

Except that feels almost akin to naming himself Leonardo.

--

  So instead, Leonardo spends every spare moment with his best friend, sometimes to brainstorm, sometimes to simply be there for him. It’s during one of these visits, he and Ezio once again observing the youngest assassins in the training ring, that he hears Miles laugh for the first time, and it’s as if ice water has been poured directly into his veins.

  Oh fuck. Oh Saints, oh Holy Father, oh fuck.

  “Leonardo?” Ezio asks quietly, head tilted towards him in concern, but Leonardo ignores him to stumble for the bannister to lean over it and stare down at Miles learning a little jig from Tullio, laughing all the while.

  He had only heard it once, truth be told, and it had been Salaí that had caused it, but even three years later, Leonardo remembers the laugh of Rodrigo Borgia’s sinister little shadow.

  Below, Miles doesn’t stop smiling, but his golden brown gaze yanks up towards Leonardo as if knowing his thoughts are about him. His eyes narrow, then widen slightly in realisation, and then he winces and looks away, which is all the confirmation Leonardo needs.

  Turning around, Leonardo grabs a confused Ezio by the arm and drags him from the training room, ignoring his protests until they find the nearest empty room.

  “Leonardo, what—?”

  “Romulus.”

-

#that last one 👀 #the first one is part of my sib's favorite scene so far #middle one is just des being a Mess #crispy writes #also #absolutely do NOT think about the timeline i beg u #i am gay and Tired #savage price #that'll be the tag for all posts about this fic #if i do end up posting more #anyway the other posts are now tagged with it too #not star wars #for those that filter on my blog #title from poor isaac by airborne toxic event! #which was my 2nd most-listened-to song this year #yoinking some tags from the last posts: #this whole fic is based on the trope of time travel des not knowing how to lie for shit and people making assumptions (à la study of flight #except their assumptions turn out to be mostly right #des isn't ezio's kid tho 👀

[pollenallergie]

“do the hardest task first”

no. just… no.

hot take: this doesn’t work for people with adhd (in my experience/from what i’ve heard from other people with adhd in my life). i recommend doing the easy/moderately difficult stuff first, that way you can convince yourself that it’s all going to be this easy and undemanding. then hyper-focus will kick in because your brain is like, “yeah, we can do this, we’ve got this.” then, before you know it, you’ve completed both the easy tasks and the hard tasks while hyperfocusing.

like, on a serious note, it’s always been easier for me to convince myself to get the most difficult tasks done when i’m already working/in the working frame of mind, not when i’m laying in bed or sitting on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through stuff on my phone, and struggling to start at all.

if the choice comes down to you not starting at all or starting with the easiest task first (which, for me, it often does), always, always pick starting with the easiest task first. sometimes you need a small victory, a little bit of an accomplishment, to give you the courage to take on bigger challenges.

#adhd #audhd #in my experience… ‘study tips’ or ‘time management tips’ from neurotypical people will almost never work for us #they don’t conceptualize time the same way we do #they don’t look at challenges the same way we do #it’s okay to take bits and pieces of their advice #ya know… whatever parts of it work for you #but don’t think that you have to use all the strategies and programs that they do to be successful #because you don’t #all that fake business soft skills/mental health guru/grind mindset stuff is total bullshit #pick strategies that speak to/work for you #it’s okay to fail at things and to have to try again #it’s okay to make mistakes and not get shit done sometimes #sometimes you need a fucking break #it’s okay to start with the easy stuff first and just ease your way into being productive #it’s okay to hyperfocus and work for hours on end sometimes #if it’s hard for you to take breaks when you’re studying and you feel like you learn better if you stay in that hyperfocused zone #than just go until the hyperfocus wears off #then take a break… eat… nourish your body… take care of yourself… and come back later #maybe later is later on that day #maybe later is tomorrow #either way is completely fine #do what works best for you #work with your neurodivergent brain… no against it #pol’s diary <3

[puppyeared]

Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..

#I’m reading volumes 14-16 of the ouran manga OOUGHHH MY HEART #I love this weird little friend group so much its unreal #like u have this charming sweeps you off your feet prince but he’s actually a huge lovable idiot with a kind heart and his friends #who are all misfits that he reached out to and drew in because of his kindness and own weirdness like that shits TIGHT BRO #and the trauma part where he has some deep seated issues with love bc he thinks that itll break a family apart like with his mom #how his family isnt allowed to be together because his mom and dad fell in love and how he says he wants to build a big house #so that way one day everyone will get along as a family like. all he wants is not to lose everyone and the only way to do that is #by maintaining a certain order.. he both wants a complete family so bad and doesnt want anything to sour between anyone #so he assigns each of his friends a family role based on how he sees them and YEAH its mostly played for giggles and tamakis #already weird so its his way of showing theyre close to him but. god damn this boy has LAYERS #it also feels kinda meta towards how found family tends to get thrown around to assign characters as 'siblings' or family roles instead of #using it to describe characters who are close enough to be each others family. cuz tamakis doing that EXACT THING in a way tht #ties in with his character and i have to say its fascinating using that within the story itself and its completely plausible #theres a lot of things i can say about ouran that are good bad and questionable but. god i love it when characters are niceys to each other #i remember i really liked the kyoya episode bc him and haruhi got to spend time together and their relationship isnt very close #but it was really nice to see their personalities bounce off each other. i think i also wouldve liked to see haruhi alone with kaoru #i also firmly believe all of the hosts are at least a little in love with haruhi and this can be anything like endearing romantic cuz like #who DOESNT love haruhi. kyoya i think would want to study her under a microscope like his fascination with her draws him in #but im fucking obsessed with whatever haruhi and tamaki have going on because YES hes obsessed with her YES he jumps at the chance to #put her in a cute costume but haruhi? she just fucking goes with it because she knows hes fun to be around even if hes a little wacky abt i #theyre all so. NNGGHHHH #ouran #ohshc #yapping

[samdeancrimespree]

so. i’m just thinking about the way that dean protected sam from john/ hunting in general. and it’s breaking my heart a lot. in order to keep sam as safe as he could (when he had no power because he was also a fucking child), dean had to look like he was on john’s side. he ended up being the punching bag because he couldn’t trust john not to punch sam back. he chose keeping sam safe over sam being happy with him. imagine the emotional maturity that takes. he is so selfless it actually kills me. and he never blew up at sam about it. he never even resented john for it. it was just his cross to bear. and he practically begged for it, so sam wouldn’t have to help him with it. i’m so fucking sad i love you dean winchester

#sorry i can’t shut up today #s1 was so crazy. rlly makes u think. #the winchester abuse dynamic should be studied #and then eventually sam understands what he was doing #all that time he thought dean wasn’t thinking. wasn’t questioning dad #but he was just playing the part to protect sam #mars.txt #oldest daughter dean #the family business #parent dean <3 #idek if he did all of it on purpose #but it feels like he kinda. made sure that sam would get out #samdean

[thebirdandhersong]

I think the problem. the problem is that I have always been afraid of not being invited into the inner circle. and am always wanting to be part of the inner circle. inner circle being the circle of love and companionship and communion. of course being a TCK and a bit of a sheltered homeschooled oddball child has nudged this further along over the years. but I didn't realise how STRONG that desire still burned. to actually be wanted.

#in other words today has been an oddly sad day! discovering that the friends you've made have their own group chats #that are separate from the general group chat (that no one ever talks on) that you aren't a part of is......... i don't know #i KNOW i'm liked by them and i KNOW they love me but do they WANT me around? #like. i know i'm not UNpleasant to have around. i am a good listener and a good conversationalist. #i work very hard at it because it doesn't come naturally to me. #but clearly that's not enough to be added to exclusive group chats! clearly that's not enough to be part of inner core circles #i don't know this just came out of nowhere and i feel as if i've been slapped in the face #sitting at a table where people are talking about the thing someone sent to the group chat #or the photo or quote or reel someone sent to someone else is....... bizarre. #i am trying not to be so hurt by it! i am trying not to take it so personally #it happens. i know it happens. i know it will keep happening. it is just that i thought this was a place where i wouldn't be lonely #and this is the dorm community i've invested so much of my time and energy and love into since last year. #so i think i'm justified in being a little upset! #i'm not crying about it but that's because i'm not about to cry with other people sitting here in the study lounge! #the math is probably really wrong here but i thought that if i poured love in for the sake of pouring love in #somehow somewhere along the line i would also receive love. that i would actually be a part of this community. #anyway that's not going to change how i live here! i committed myself to doing my best this last year #because i don't want anyone to feel left out or unwanted or lonely. i already made the decision #to do everything i can to love the people here. #i'm not trying to toot my horn this is just what i actually want to and have decided to do! #i have birthday cards planned! i have midterm snacks planned! #i've just worked out how i can print christmas and easter cards and stickers! #i'm GOING to love darn it all i'm GOING to pour love in #i think it hurts especially because there's the boy problem going on too #of not being wanted in an area that i DIDN'T expect to be wanted in #and then learning that there is a collective not being wanted in this whole community #it is a Lot and it is very hard and i don't know what to do with it! #i have had this lie (that i'm inherently unloveable and undesirable) in my head since childhood #and i've worked SO HARD to shut that voice up. and it is so so hard to not believe it right now

[suncaptor]

nothing will make you sympathise with conspiracy theorist ideology more than having a seemingly rare reaction to a vaccine lmao.

#reading articles that try to falsify genuine incorrect information about the covid vaccines from 2021 is making me feel insane #'there's no way the covid vaccine can trigger an autoimmune disorder' uhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH #factually extremely wrong! #they're soooo condescening too like why on EARTH do you think people who are genuinely sick or scared would believe you. #they'll be like there's no scientific evidence that anyone can be harmed by the covid vaccine <3 blatantly untrue. #I know that part of this is retrospect like obviously since more studies have come out and all #but it's infurirating bc they're from the time *I* was having those symptoms *and* telling doctors about it *and* being told the connection #to my other severe symptoms from the covid vaccine were Utterly Impossible (since proven false) and that if the symptoms WERE related #it meant i had a life threatening illness at worst and had a high chance of losing my vision at best #likeeeeeeeee #doctors still DO NOT know what the fuck they're doing do NOT trust anyone who gives ANY 100% answers #i don't know why i'm doing this i just said to stop obsessing but i'm just reading pages and articles on countering misinformation to make #sure i don't -- i want to know the conspiracy theories to recognise them immediately right #and then people are just saying bullshit to defend themselves #i mean most of the anti covid vacc people were also far right so i don't have too much sympathy for their vaccine ideology #but like. fucking hell what a way to push people into conspiracies. #you CAN'T counter misinformation by SPREADING MORE MISINFORMATION #just because it SOUNDS BETTER and MORE REASSURING to say there's not chance of harm doesn't mean you should #there's A LOW chance of harm THAT IS MUCH MUCH less high than the impacts of covid #god I'm pissed off. 2021 i was so fucking terrified of spreading this shit just by talking about my lived experiences. #to say i was not taking the pandemic seriously OR anti vax is so blatantly ridiculous considering who I am as a person but that doesn't mea #that the covid vaccine specifically didn't make me ill :////// #delete

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Izutsumi character study

#dungeon meshi #izutsumi #One of my goals for this year was to spend more time doing art studies. #What better way to start than with my favourite danmeshi character (not seen: a whole page of figuring out her features) #I feel like she is by far one of the most poorly understood characters in the series. Partially due to her 'late party member' status. #'She's abrasive and mean' - 'she's a picky eater' - 'she's a catgirl who acts like an asshole cat ' YES and that is the point! #Everyone in dungeon meshi is traumatized and messy about it but izutsumi is just less polite in how she tries to cope. #Izutsumi is a extremely traumatized teenager who has utterly lacked autonomy her entire life. #She is the epitome of a “If I can just have X thing then all my problems will be solved!” character. And the X is 'Freedom'. #Her epilogue was one of the best and wrapped up her character so wonderfully (WARNING: I WILL NOW SPOIL PART OF THE ENDING) #Because she finally gets her freedom! She can go where she wants to and she doesn't need anybody! Yet...it doesn't fix her. #She is so focused on doing only what she wants that she forgets her own needs. Sometimes you have to eat the things you don't want. #And sometimes you have to face the hard truths that you need more than just one thing to make you happy. #Life is not all about only seeking pleasures and avoiding pain. You need to be balanced in order to grow. #Eat your vegetables (including the metaphorical ones: I am eating more art veggies this year by doing art studies!!!)

[candyredappledragon]

Does Furret participate in Pokémon battles or are they moral support?

both actually! furret is a support pokemon! he has a moveset to help others and- ah sorry i got a "little" into competitive but you know for fun! florian inspired me to make a team that involves with pokemon i love and build it from there. though furret prefers to be my moral support. i grab him, hug him tight and i forget about my loss.

though some of my pokemon do enjoy the quiet and relaxing life so its a win-win for us! i leave some of them with my grandparents to help them around the house or do activities. i am very grateful for them!

#rotomblr #pkmn irl #thanks for the ask! #trainer kieran #pokemon fanart #being real honest. if it werent for that fateful day i wouldnt be the same person today. #and i have been studying the competitive scene myself to get stronger! ...i do admit i have been studying books and videos about it. #kind of lost a “bit” of sleep but i just got so engrossed by it. thenigotmyhandsonsomebooksaboutlegendarypokemonandlostmoresleep #i almost went on a tangent but i caught myself. do not talk to me about competitive stuff. i kinda just “infodump” about it. #my sister told me that. because she once asked me for help and the next thing i knew she was nodding off to sleep. #//ooc: Can you tell on which parts I drew over and fixed so many times. :sob emoji: Sorry I was dying to make it at least decent.

[stuckinapril]

i really am the kind of bitch who loves reading textbooks huh

#not to be obnoxious but i totally do #i keep saying i don't have time for recreational reading but my biochem textbook? organic chem? physics? psych? chem???? #i WILL get burned out eventually. i will. but rn i'm having sm fun w my full study days. #absolutely salivating to start sarah bakewell's at the existentialist cafe soon #a stack is sitting in my bookcase waiting to be read. i miss reading like i used to. i miss it sm #but i just got done w an intense study session and so. much. serotonin #i've just been studying and working out and taking walks and applying my lip balm and spritzing on a yummy perfume and vibing to music #and. as always. minding my own fucking business #studying and consuming knowledge is actually part of my self care routine. if i don't i feel like utter shit #someone talk science w me i would literally fall in love w u #p

[quaranmine]

firewatch au is an interesting story because mumbo is such an omnipresent non-character. it doesn't matter if i characterize him correctly or not, because his character isn't ever present to exert change in the story. the only thing that does matter is grian's rosy, absence-defined ideals about who his best friend was. every single thing we learn about mumbo is filtered through like 12 different layers of love and grief and denial until he's on a pedestal so high nobody can see the truth. his character is almost solely defined by what someone else says about him.

in doing this, grian also inadvertantly strips away all the little mistakes and mishaps that are part of mumbo's agency and part of him being a real person until he's perfect. and all this idolization ends up making it worse for grian in the end, because he actively avoids engaging in any theories that suggest mumbo might have made a mistake or gone astray. there's clear dissonance between reality—grian knows mumbo got lost and is searching for him—and the way grian lashes out at anyone who suggests something that clashes with the perfect ideal of mumbo in his head, including getting lost. mumbo should be a character in his own story, but grian won't let him be.

instead he wraps his desire to find mumbo into a weird sort of side quest where he's just as interested in finding someone else to blame as he is finding mumbo. he spends the same amount of time trying to figure out exactly where it all went wrong during the search as he does actually searching for mumbo—even after he knows the general area mumbo was last in! it's a puzzle and he can't put anything to rest until he solves it. he's trying to force logic into everything so he can cope with it. because if he doesn't find someone or something to blame, then he has to face the reality that sometimes things just don't make sense. if it makes sense, he can solve it and fix it. if it doesn't make sense...then he just has to live with it, and he doesn't think he can.

#fw au drinking game! take a shot every time grian says something abt Knowing mumbo or makes a bold statement of what mumbo would/wouldnt do #his mindset is so contradictory at certain points. a lot of what he says doesnt make total sense or falls apart under scrutiny. #and that's on purpose! grian is not a reliable narrator in this fic. he's a guy who is Going Through It who needs help. #theres several parts of the fic where he's so logical about things that it loops back into being illogical #cause he's got huge blindspots he can't/won't look around. he selectively excludes things he doesnt want to think about. #this story is more of a study on grief than it is a mystery :( #also dont get me wrong! i am not saying grian is Always incorrect in his characterization of mumbo. they Were besties ofc #it's just that you have to read everything he says about mumbo with the acknowledgement that his grief #has smoothed away every flaw or painfully human bit #and only left a certain limited picture of mumbo left #combine that with his intense desire to only see things that fit within his set beliefs? you've got a recipe for an unreliable narrator #hc_firewatch_au

[coffeepilled]

one of the biggest reasons why alfred is so smiley, goofy, happy-go-lucky, devil-may-care during the 19th through 21st centuries, (besides deciding since before 1776 that he was going to be completely contrarian to arthur in his outlooks) is that he’s been through the wringer for the past hundred years already. give the guy a break!

spending your formative years (or the country equivalent of a ‘childhood’, anyway) educating yourself deeply on politics, fighting for independence, then fighting again to keep your nation together, and then trying to expand throughout the rest of the continent, while dealing with crazy winters and starvation and swathes of diseases… well.

alfred grew up with the expectation of perfection under england, and even after becoming free he still had to raise himself by the bootstraps. help create a government with his people, for his people, and hope and pray to whatever deity was out there that america could survive. and those first 100 years certainly were not sunshine and rainbows — pictures of alfred’s youth show everything except smiles. he wears melancholy expressions that don’t suit his face.

battling for your place on the world stage is hard enough, but to become a self-made, global superpower on top of it? alfred grows in spades, and by the time the industrial revolution comes around, and his house is the most bustling on the entire planet, and the gold rush comes and goes— that constant work and isolationism has paid off. he loosens up a little. he can smile now. relax a little! eat in excess knowing there will always be food on the table.

that’s when he finally gets to live out the years of childlike ease he never truly got to indulge in: to laugh and be merry without a care in the world. momentary ill spell during the great depression aside, the great wars later only solidify america’s place as the strongest in the world. the other countries wouldn’t dare admit it, but alfred’s self-proclaimed epithet of ‘hero’ is not without cause and reason, and not without hard proof. (and besides, he deserves a little gloating after all this time, doesn’t he?)

ivan had threatened his status in the hierarchy for a while there, and 45 years of foolhardy, workaholic america stepped out of the shadows again. but again, alfred surpasses the literal and proverbial soviet wall. and this time it isn’t just the world he has in his palms, but outer space, too — he has the moon and the stars and a damn space station.

finally, on top— finally, he doesn’t have to battle tooth and nail just to survive. instead, maybe he’ll set a whoopie cushion on françois’ chair at the next meeting, or order everything off the mcdonald’s menu tonight just ‘cause he can, or maybe even get matt to film him doing some outrageously ridiculous parkour—

that’s the beauty of it: it’s enjoyable to let go, act as immature and carefree as you want, knowing you’re at the top of the food chain. the others have gotten used to boy scout america, to the silly superhero alfred — they’ve definitely forgotten how scary and smart and cutthroat and frankly bloodthirsty he is when he gets serious. the america that lies asleep beneath the surface, the sleeping dog that you’d better hope you don’t wake up.

and, hell— his people chose him. his people left the other nations for him. left their homelands to stay at his house. that’s a testament to the unshakeable empire he’s built up, right? the others should be following his lead.

so he’ll act as he pleases, screw all the manners and customs and old-world european way of doing things — the freedom-loving rebel bastard that he still is, deep down.

al’s earned it, after all!

#UP LATE AT NIGHT DOING ALFRED CHARACTER STUDIES #bunnie's coffeehouse #hetalia #alfred f jones #aph america #hws america #/ long post #RAMBLE INCOMING #really i think alfred had a huge come-to moment during the 1800s-2000s #as we kind of see in the industrial age arc… #and some of the america and canada stories in world stars too you can just totally see in his early years how dead serious he was !! #yearning for greatness and the stability and renown that comes with that. unable to have more of a 'childhood' like canada. #soon enough he realizes he’s become number 1 in like everything. but at the cost of being deeply entrenched in his work #he hasnt had time to do much else. and thats when he knows he can /rest/ and i imagine that’s when he truly indulges in his childlike wonde #like we SEE how hard of a worker he is… how many fucked up odds he’s overcome. America has conquered them all #he is truly the epitome of veni vidi vici #veni vidi vici & THEN HE SCREWS AROUND MANUFACTURING MEMES & CHUGGING COLA FOR THE BETTER PART OF A CENTURY. GOOD FOR YOU AL YOU DESERVE IT #god i love him

[talentforlying]

john and his niece going for a walk, arm-in-arm, so gemma can confide in him about her ghost problem without worrying her mum......i'm severely unwell about them.

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #unfortunately mike carey kinda popped off about the two of them growing apart + gemma trying to follow his footsteps alone #gemma had so much to deal with at home and john provided a picture of stability and self-government that he simply does not really possess #and therefore by extension? so did the world of the occult #her descent into resentment + rebellion + risky behavior was fully in character for a troubled teen in an unhappy home #and it SUCKS bc the breakdown of their relationship was all due to john wanting SO BADLY to be a good influence on her + be there for her #and succeeding in the most monkey paw of ways #gemma never ONCE saw the cracks in the mask until she got close enough to his orbit to see him fail her in the WORST way #and that is a FUCKING tragedy #and we do NOT speak of the bullshit peter milligan pulled in his run because FUCK. THAT. NOISE. #in my canon they tentatively reconciled after the empathy virus. gemma's making her way through university #(see: studying part-time and still pursuing the occult on the side. but doing so Much more cautiously) #(no longer trying to be a Constantine TM but just trying to help out friends here and there) #and they meet once a year on december 2nd to honor cheryl's memory and catch up #( gemma masters. ) THAT'S MY NIECE YOU PIECE OF SHIT! #( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD. #sched.