oh yes you were at court! i forgot that was at the start of that post lmao. i've been to court twice when i was super young for drinking underage and then smoking lool it was so boring and long and shit but thankfully you were just there for moral support, i hope it wasen't such a bad thing your friend had to deal with! I remember seeing you post about moving but i forget if it was TO or AWAY from your parents but that clears it up. I totally get you on that though, i'm living at home right now and i feel kind of similar about not feeling comfortable in your own home. Its a bit different for me, but similar enough. Hell my stepdad even sleeps in the living room too! hes always done that so ive always felt like i had to be on eggshells when night time hit. I used to sneak smoking in the backyard back in the day myself, i got caught once when i was in highschool he made me throw all my pieces out which sucked big time. ahhh i love that, art! you should totally show more stuff on here too, at least if you're comfortable and its not stuff you'd wanna sell, i would absolutely love to see any of it 🖤i've dabbled in writing poems and things i planned to make songs, although only recently. I've always wanted to be a musician but my attempts at learning guitar over the years have never ended up lasting long and i try to learn singing but i just dont really think i can. plus i was always afraid of self expression so i never wrote until a few years ago. i still do, because music is so important to me (which is why i did pick 🎤!) and it makes me so happy but yeah. i have 2 shows im headed to in a few months even so im so excited 🥰my day though has been so boring, i mostly played video games and watched youtube videos. watched another episode of a show i've been watching called Silo, which i absolutely love. im so surprised you had room in your tags still after myself lmao, but i do that same thing i always talk in the tags! also i'm giving you tons of hugs and kisses 😘🥰
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Hi hi hi ☺️ how are you doing lovely? 🥰
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listen. listen. i know that my way of reacting to my own anger isn’t great. i get very quiet when i am usually pretty talkative, and i am conflict avoidant so i am silent and kinda just shut down. this isn’t great. it’s not ideal and it’s not healthy. however. perhaps it is just me. but that is preferable to taking your anger out on other people. neglecting to tell someone that they did something that you did not like, then exploding at them when you are having a bad day (while also proclaiming (still in the most horrible, mean, scathing tone possible) that you’re not actually angry at them) seems to me like a worse alternative to shutting down and being quiet. is staying silent and shutting down good? no. but does it allow time to go away and think then come back? yes. exploding at someone ends up hurting the person you explode at and further alienates you from them. you make it clear that you are not someone to be trusted and instead someone to be avoided. and i would know this because i used to explode. i hurt and alienated people by doing so. do i still have a lot to learn when it comes to dealing with my own anger and how i shut down? yes. is it a good way of dealing with high intensity emotions? no. but am i taking out my anger on people by shutting down? no. and i think that makes a big fucking difference
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me rediscovering bo burnham’s inside bc i woke up with “facetime with my mom” stuck in my head, only to realize it’s been a little more than 2 years since i started working from home and we’re still nowhere close to being ‘normal’ bc doctors are saying we’re facing a new uptick in covid cases
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