Am I the only one that feels a bit...weird when people seperate CH2-11 David and David in the rest of the series as if they're two different characters?
Like I dunno, a big part of the whole twist for me was that this WAS the David we had come to know up until CH2-11. We obviously knew that something was up with David because he's a shitty liar but it was a slow build-up up fucked up thing after fucked up thing that led to the moment in CH2-11 where he went off the rails (and even this is most likely an exaggerated version of who he actually is)
So whenever people act like they're two different characters instead of the same character it feels odd to me. That's probably just me though
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y'all moved on but i literally still can't believe this is real life. what the fuck. spread ur wings, mr schnapp... sniffling, crying, weeping bc i am so full of Joy... not 2 be corny but it's always a lovely thing when someone steps into the light n lives their truth... when they feel safe and loved enough by those in their life that they feel they can and genuinely want to share this part of themselves with the world... mr schnapp who has played will byers for such a big part of his life and explored his own self and come to terms with who he is at the same time that will has... will, who means so much to so many and has such a realistic journey that we seldom get to see, especially in such mainstream media, literally the biggest show in the world... just so moved that he went from being scared in the closet to feeling so loved and at peace that he would share this part of himself with the world in such a silly, light-hearted, and entirely noah way, always so true to himself and full of light... i just. 🥺 a lot of feelings are being felt rn. good for him!! GOOD FOR HIM!!!!! 💗🏳️🌈🫂
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i think one of my biggest gripes with TSATS is the sentence structure and the way that things are phrased.
Sentence structure: the book is CONSTANTLY using ", and", or "then", or "but" instead of splitting up a phrase into two separate sentences. Once I noticed it, I couldn't stop noticing it. In some places it works fine, but right out the gate, as the first line of chapter one, it 1) caught my attention in a negative way and 2) felt immediately clunky and awkward.
The way that the book demonstrates action also feels unnatural and doesn't flow as well as it could. Things are described as happening "now", such as when Kayla takes her lolipop out of her mouth and holds it at her side, the book narrates it as "now holding the lolipop at her side". We didn't SEE that action occur, we're just being described the RESULT of the action, does that make sense? As a reader, you want to SEE the action, you want to SEE her tug the lolipop out of her mouth, see her hand hang by her side as her expression pinches with anxiety over the discussion. We don't want to just be told that "now" her lolipop is out of her mouth, y'know?
There are also sentences that just feel flat out unedited, phrases that have too many words for what they want to accomplish, or with a structure that doesn't make sense - like on page 56, the sentence "They raced up the steps to the platform, Nico easily outrunning his boyfriend, though that was mostly due to Will having to get his land legs again."
First of all - why are they running up the platform? In the previous line, where we're told their cab driver got them to the station with 6 minutes to spare, the specific choice of saying "to spare" makes it sound like there is plenty of time to make it to their train. In the sentences after, we even learn that Nico and Will wound up waiting for their train anyway, so, the fact that they're running when Will feels sick reads...weird, to me. If I was car sick, and then somebody forced me to run for no reason, I would not be a happy camper.
Second of all - The addition of the final third of the sentence, after the second comma, should be it's own phrase. It should be given it's own space, like "(though that was mostly because Will didn't have his land legs back yet)." because it's not important information, just an offhanded comment Nico is making.
Third of all - "though that was mostly due to" and "having to get his" are clunky and wordy. It could've just been "Nico easily outrunning his boyfriend, who didn't have his land legs back yet." It's a smoother sentence that doesn't get bogged down by the extra words.
And that's just one instance. This book is LOADED with moments like this, where action will get lost in a sentence's wordiness. The book tries to be quick and snappy, in Riordan's style, but it fails because it can't quite nail down the phrasing.
There are also moments where the only thing the characters are interacting with is each other, only grinning, grimacing, sighing, glancing at one another, etc etc, instead of doing actions while they speak. Fidgeting with their hands, shifting from side to side, looking away at their surroundings, that kind of stuff is how you convey a MOOD. Body language is important when writing character conversations!! Is somebody relaxed, or are their shoulders tensed up, arms folded across their chest with their muscles flexed, leaning back on one leg with their body halfway tilted away, as if they were ready to flee at a moment's notice? These are the kind of details that I'm missing in TSATS, the kind of things that feel like they're missing.
I also have a lot of gripes with the dialogue itself.
People don't talk like they do in TSATS. The content of what they're saying is realistic enough, sure, yeah, but the specific way that a lot of the dialogue is phrased? It doesn't feel natural. Try reading some of the sentences out loud without editing any of the words. It doesn't sound the way a human being SPEAKS.
THAT'S what I mean when I say these characters are OOC. The way that they're speaking is uncomfortable and feels as if they're being used as a puppet, or a mouthpiece for what somebody ELSE wants them to say.
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helloooo :3 i have this lil idea that i’m kinda (absolutely) too lazy to write myself but i saw ur interested in adding to jack/harper and so i wanted to give this to you :)
concepts: chuck won, jackharper, jack-centric with harper pov, samwena on the side optional but envisioned in my mind
plot: harper tracks jack down post 15x19/15x20 (your choice, i’ve gone back and forth) OR to the bunker and meets sam (and dean if you’re going with post 15x19) and thinks Something Is Wrong when jack isn’t there. so she starts doing some magic and investigating. of course she originally wanted to kill and zombify him but… when she finds him she realizes he is Not the man she was obsessed with. which makes her quite pissed and curious because how could he change so fast?
rough aspects: a redemption arc that doesn’t start out with that intent, witchcraft and bonding with / life lessons from rowena, more on her past, hunting down jack, her wanting a family and companionship but going about it in the wrong way, harper using her innocent looking face to her advantage
side note: in my head she’s covered in blood or using bones in her craft in the opening scene to mirror rowena’s entry.
just an idea in case u ever get bored and want her to be a lil feral for bad -> good reasons. I hope this was at least fun to think about!
— hw
Oh boy! My first ask on this blog and it's about my new obsession that I'm currently spiralling over! Hurray!
I'm so very into the Chuck won theory. I know some people get personally offended by it, but I think it really changes the whole vibe of finale for the better, because it effectively turns it into a horror show, especially for Jack.
I would LOVE to see Harper team up with Rowena (I may or may not have something in the words regarding this), and try and rescue their boys.
Also, the whole Harper using her innocent/beauty to her advantage while also being a total agent of chaos, carrying around scrying bones, graveyard dirt, virgin blood, and possibly a skull from someone who may or may not have been her ex-boyfriend. Feral, scary, unhinged, all while being pretty, feminine and flashing her thousand kilowatt smile like, "who me?;)" I LIVE FOR IT.
I also really dig the idea of her not accepting that Jack became God, like "ummmm so he said he's *everywhere* now? in every drop of dust or whatever? Lame. he's supposed to come with me to the farmers market tomorrow, not be *everywhere*. I gotta talk to him."
And then immediately recognizes that this Jack is not her Jack. Galaxy brain or no, this is someone pretending to be Jack.
Ahhhh I love it. How ironic that it would be Harper potentially saving everyone just because she's like "hmmmmm no, no one tries to kill my boyfriend except me, got it?:)"
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not about poetry but i don't trust people who go online spewing vague declarations of "in order to write you need to understand Form And Structure!!!!" because there's prose fuckheads who do the same thing where they just vaguely say you need to understand Structure before you write a novel, but by structure they usually just mean the three act structure and the hero's journey and they've never studied or considered how structure can function beyond that, especially in non-western/non-english writing theories. the minute someone is like ohhhh but the Structure.....in a vague manner like that i'm like okay so you don't actually know structure because if you had deeply studied structure in writing theory as you claim to have done, you would know how complex and fluid and varied and malleable it is and it's not just one thing you Learn How To Do like putting a table together. and it's not something you will one day know perfectly because you will, ideally, encounter new ideas to structure a story as you expand your reading and your own writing. anyway i'm done for now i'm logging off to read more filthy animals by brandon taylor, potluck was such a good short story collection opener. i'm excited to see how he links these stories into a structured collection. i'm excited to read family meal by bryan washington when i'm done because he did a lot of fun things with really short + really long chapters in memorial and i learnt a lot about structure and pacing from there.
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