thinking a LOT about etho jokingly telling cleo "you make the most interesting relationships" in episode one of secret life, back when that was a joke about the bizarre variety of frienemies cleo was making, in the context of this past session, her bond with etho, her Thing with martyn, her friendship with scott, her connection with grian, her relationship with bigb, her frienemyship with the heart foundation--she makes the most interesting relationships. and often, they look unstable from the outside. right up until the moment you test them. then, though...
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the real tragedy of tlou is that in saving ellie’s life, joel dooms their relationship. it’s not tragic that he killed a hospital of ppl and prevented a cure bcus we have no emotional attachment to any of those people or the notion a cure might actually work and fix the world. we’ve travelled across that world with ellie and joel and seen how it’s in pieces and how unlikely it could ever be fixed the way the fireflies imagine. but emotionally we ARE with joel and ellie and as we see them in that car and hear joel tell his lie and see ellie’s face, we know that things can’t be the same for them again. i am now and have always been of the opinion that joel lies in that moment to protect her from her feelings of guilt and the burden of thinking she has 2 save the world (and ive always said too he should have told her the truth eventually instead of her having to force his hand to get it), but regardless of that the choice joel made and the lie is always going to be between them. things will always be a little different now. an unspoken thing that eats away at the space between them, making it bigger and bigger. and that’s why it’s really tragic because joel picked ellie’s life over and above anything else cus he loved her and thus knew her life had value independent of being a cure to save the world and she should get to live it, but whilst she is living it (something she is only able to do cus he saved her), he has to watch from afar. he saves her and loses her at the same time.
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Quick Falin analysis. Congrats on her going along with her loved ones’ wishes becoming explicitly canon and not subtext btw!
Thinking of it, becoming a chimera and literally being puppeteered around by the will of the dungeon and its lord is such an… Explicit visualization of her demeanor in life of letting others’ wants and whims dictate what she does and where she goes. Shows the most extreme & worst version of it, of where that could lead her down the road. Dunmeshi loves often showing that with everyone, with the winged lion warping even the most selfless well-intentioned desire into something intense and destructive.
If Faligon is her retreating into that comfortable role of just on-pilot mode following what others want, that’d be an interesting angle too. Because we see like with the dragons fight at Thistle’s house that the monsters CAN act rebellious, meanwhile Falin was just so on board with it ever since she got transformed.
Chimera Falin doesn’t have a strong will? Oof
I do also think that Thistle is something that her nursing reflexes latch onto easily, when it comes to comforting and protecting others. It’s unsure how much of her is dormant as Faligon, or how being bound to the dungeon and the dungeon lord’s will affects her, but it’s undeniable that she acts with care when it comes to Thistle. On one hand, she fights ferociously for him, when protecting him or even just sent out to scout, but you can’t really say she’s being assertive either, not when she doesn’t complain or act when he eats all the berries and she’s hungry. She’s still that silent, sidelined guardian, only now very, very literal.
I never bought the angle that chimera Falin mostly represented her repressed anger at the world personally, like yes now she’s loud and big and imperfect, but again, socially she falls into the same pitfalls, it’s just that now she’s top dog, below just one person, and so she’s allowed to be aggressive with everyone else. If anything, it’s the dragon soul pushing her to want more, making her act out, giving her a taste of how it feels to be powerful, carefree and impossible to oversee, but it couldn’t be called catharsis I think. In general, she seems more passive with a "as long as I have what I love, everyone else can go burn for all I care" mentality rather than actively(or repressedly) angry to me. Not that she couldn’t have complex feelings over being lonely and cast out either of course, but personally I never got the sense that she resents the world or society at large.
I do feel like the dogs treating her like she was at the bottom of the hierarchy also shaped her a lot
Not only cast out by other kids and classmates, but also treated as someone that can be disrespected and roughened up by the dogs at home. She was really pushed into that go with the flow, make yourself scarce and quiet attitude. She’s never really been allowed to hope for better, or to have a dream of her own, her life path being decided for her by others.
Besides with Laios, everything she learned everywhere in group dynamics was that she was at the bottom and should be content with whatever others gave her. Maybe that’s why she was so forgiving of her parents too, because at least, to some degree they did care and didn’t want to cut contact, and she takes what she can get.
Thank you @thatsmimi for the fantranslation of the new leaked content, the opening and ending pictures in this post. Their original post about it is here, and as mentioned it is not the official translation.
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Tom's line about Shiv being selfish and "find[ing] it very hard to think about me" is actually so telling because while it's absolutely true that she rarely takes his position into consideration, Tom never once thinks about what he can do to help Shiv unless it also benefits him.
Every single time he makes a move or sacrifice that might help her, it's always something that he thinks will give him a leg up. He volunteers to take the fall for cruises, not for Shiv, who is in no way implicated, or even for Waystar, but because he thinks it'll ingratiate him to Logan, and the second it seems like he might have to actually follow through on that, he immediately tries to get out of it and even throws Shiv under the bus. Meanwhile, for all that Shiv disregards his interests, there are a number of things she does that only help him, and she's the one who actually sacrifices something and undermines her position with Logan to beg him not to let Tom go to jail.
It just makes it so clear that no matter how much he might love her (and I think he does, in his own compromised way), for him their relationship was always built on the underlying assumption that it's her job to prop him up, but it's not his job to help her.
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heads up: reader struggling w friendships (feeling uninvolved + unheard)
felix hears the way you sigh as you come back into the room, and doesn't move quite yet. he knows you well enough. he listens as your footsteps draw nearer, and you pass in front of him as quickly as you can before throwing yourself onto the opposite end of the couch. it's enough to make him raise a brow--usually you'll sit next to him because you like being close to him--but he can't take his eyes off the tv screen quite yet.
"everything okay?" he says as he pulls one side of his headset back, and then he already hears changbin and jisung responding. "not--not you guys. hold on, i'll still be here--" he mutes his mic, and looks over to you. "babe?"
you curl in on yourself, frowning. "not really."
"you wanna talk about it?"
"you're busy--"
he shoves his headset down so it hangs around his neck. "i can multitask. once we're done with this, i'll stop, alright?"
you pout and he sees it from the corner of his eye. "i don't want to bother you."
"you aren't," he promises. "i'm listening."
"it's just... more of the same-old." you shift so you're a little closer to him. "feeling like some of my friends are closer with each other so i'm just kind of playing fifth wheel, platonically. other friends not listening to me when i speak meanwhile i feel like i file every little fact away..."
he's heard it before. he looks up, and he sees how upset you are, and he debates for a moment. he's going to play again with changbin and jisung this weekend... surely they can carry on without him? he pulls up his headset, unmutes, and says he's gotta go. all it takes is him mentioning your name for them to stop teasing him: felix wouldn't be ditching them if it weren't somewhat serious. he logs back out, and turns over, moving in to wrap his arms around you.
"hey." he smiles. "i love you. you wanna go out?" he says. "we can get dinner. talk more. maybe walk by the river?"
he knows you well: getting out helps. and walking by the river always helps you open up more. you peck his lips as you get up to find your shoes.
at least felix has your back when you need it the most.
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i have to say seeing how popular jem is now, knowing he hasn't always been, is SO reassuring and relieving. not because other characters aren't great or have good values, but because it means jem's standout qualities – things like kindness, compassion, gentleness, being thoughtful – are being appreciated and seen as more important and that's SUCH a good thing. especially knowing ya's history of pushing forward the toxic-cocky-mysterious bad boy agenda… we're finally putting qualities like kindness above that, which is a really positive step forward. i know it's more nuanced than this, and tsc's characters are far more nuanced (jem's sole trait isn't being kind, for instance) but he wasn't always appreciated this much and as a longtime jem fan i truly love to see it. i grew up reading books where the mc always went for the mysterious bad boy character – ruder, testy, provocative – and often these characters were more popular because being kind was seen as 'boring' or meant you could only ever be in the friendzone. jem was one of the first characters i read who had this really horrible backstory, but throughout everything was genuinely just kind. it's really wonderful to see so many people appreciating that :)
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