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#june 2021 reads
dibidibifiction · 1 year
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Reasons to Live
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Pairing: Kim Jonghyun x Reader
Category: romance
TRIGGER WARNING: depression, self-harm, death, foul language
Word count: 3.5k+
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction made for personal entertainment of readers. The writer does not ever intend to offend her readers nor does she aim to spread false information about anyone as to pay any disrespect to the real-life persons whom the characters are based on. She also does not claim ownership to any of the images that are being used.  
masterlist
...
TWO YEARS EARLIER
JONGHYUN
I hear the curtain metal rings slide harshly two opposite ways, shocking me awake. 
“Oh, good. You were sleeping with your mouth open.”
“Great. Thanks, Mom,” I say sarcastically, rubbing my eyes.
“It’s already ten past five. I’m going home. Are you going to be okay?” my mom asks. She has taken care of me since day one I’ve been in this hospital. But now, since I’ve improved a lot, I insisted that she doesn’t have to visit every day. 
“Yes, ma’am,” I roll my eyes jokingly.
“Aww, Jonghyun, you should find a woman who will take care of you from now on instead of bothering me,” she joins my kidding around.
After she pinches my cheeks and kisses me, she heads out the door. I sit up to reach for my phone on the side table. I got messages from the boys on our group chat.
14:36
Kim Kibum: Hey, Kim Jonghyun! When are you getting discharged? You’re delaying our project. Get your shit together, yeah? Love you
15:18
Jinki: They ran some tests on you a few days ago, right? How did they go?
15:24
Minho: Hope everything’s okay, Hyung. We’re just here waiting for you~
16:20
Taemin: Hyung, did you receive my fruit basket? Hope you like it.
Reading their messages instantly puts a smile on my face. I start typing to reply that everything’s good and that I’m getting out of here soon. Maybe next week at the very least. 
I’ve been in this hospital for almost a month because of the car accident on my drive to my parents’ house after work. It was already dark and I was on the expressway when it started to rain so heavily that visibility was close to zero. Unexpectedly, a huge truck was running too fast in my direction. I managed to avoid it but then made me hit an electric post. Even though I was in a coma for three days, still, lucky for me, I had very little damage compared to others who have gotten into accidents like this.
I’ve never felt more alive. It may be hard to believe or even admit, but it might be a miracle, what happened to me. I was in such unbearable pain that I could already imagine my loved ones crying at my funeral.
I grab my little notebook and head up to the rooftop. I sit in my usual spot, which is at the very corner of the floor, overlooking the city. The city lights are like stars, the cars like elves, and the people like ants. It’s like a whole new weird world. I pull up my pen inserted at the last page I wrote on. Every time I have an idea for a song or a poem, I always write it here. 
As I’m turning the pages to look back on what I’ve written, I catch a glimpse of someone’s legs way across this wide rooftop. It looks like a person lying on the floor. 
“Hello?” I call out. 
No response. 
“Excuse me, are you okay?” My voice is a little louder, hoping to be heard.
Still nothing. Not even a subtle movement.
I drop everything and walk briskly over to check on them. 
I gasp at a young girl in a hospital gown like mine, which means she must be a patient too. I draw closer to see that she’s unconscious. And pale.
My heart twists, I hurriedly kneel down to her side and lightly put my head on her chest to check her heartbeat. 
Shit, I hear nothing. A quick shiver sends through me. 
Her pulse. I quickly grab her hand to feel her wrist and hope to feel something. 
Thank God. I exhale after what feels like twenty minutes. “Stay here. I’ll go get help.” 
I run down four flights of stairs and realize how ridiculous that sounded since she couldn’t even hear me. I finally reach the nearest nurse’s station, catching my breath in order to get words out. 
“Excuse me! There’s a girl up on the roof. She’s unconscious. Please help!” 
A nurse nods once and quickly picks up the telephone. She recites something I didn’t quite understand. Two guys with a stretcher appear immediately and ask me to let lead the way.
. . .
It’s now hours later and I can’t stop thinking about her. My last sight of her keeps flashing before my eyes. She was pale and almost lifeless. She looks pretty with her dark neck-length hair, her thin bangs fly off her forehead because of the wind. I wonder what’s wrong with her. I hope she’s okay now. Turns out she is the one who stays in the room next to mine.
My door slowly opens for a nurse to take the tray of my already finished dinner. “Hey, um, do you know what happened to the girl next door?”
“Do you know her?” he asks me right back, his eyes dead.
“Actually, yeah, I went to college with her.” I lie.
“Oh, okay, then,” he sighs. “Well, she attempted to kill herself again.”
My jaws drop in shock. “What?” I stutter. My heart sinks even more at the word ‘again.’
“It’s the third time she’s done that during her stay here. I really hope she'll stop. I’m worried about her. She doesn’t even have a family for us to call for a situation like this. There’s only this one guy that comes over every now and then.” His eyes suddenly change and fill up with pity when he walks out the door.
---
PRESENT DAY
Y/N
I run to the bus stop to see Jonghyun already waiting for me by his car in hazard mode at the side of the road. Two weeks passed and this is the most I’ve seen him since he’s been busy with his comeback. 
He spots me, then waves so happily that he’s almost jumping.
I land in his arms. “Jonghyun, I missed you,” I weep on his chest. 
He pulls away to look at my face, cupping my cheeks. “How’s my girl?” his eyes twinkle. He lovingly leans in for a five-second kiss.
“I’m sorry I kept you waiting,” I pout.
“No, I just got here,” he smiles. “Shall we?”
We both hop in his car and drive to Taemin’s house to have dinner with the boys. It was supposed to be a celebration for their comeback promotion weeks ago but it always fell through. Now that their promotion ended, they decided to have the gathering tonight. It was Minho and Kibum’s idea. Taemin offered his place to hold it. 
They love a good party. Kibum wanted to invite as many people as they could but Minho wanted an intimate gathering with just close friends. The decision was made democratically but it was tied up. So all that long heated, turbulent discussion led us to the lowkey one with just close friends.
Jonghyun and I arrive with three handsome boys already in sight. Minho greets me with a warm hug and then leads me toward the kitchen where Jinki and Kibum are preparing food.
“Mmm, smells good over here. Where’s Taemin?” I ask no one in particular while I make my way to sit on a spinning stool by the island.
“He’s not here yet,” Kibum answers me while he holds a wooden spoon in front of me to let me taste his soondubu stew. 
“What? He’s late even at his own party being held at his house. Great.” I say as I nod approvingly to Kibum, telling him that it’s delicious.
Jinki giggles. “That’s our youngest.”
I laugh, wiping off droplets of soup on my chin.
“Speak of the devil,” Kibum mutters as soon as I hear the front door beep. 
I welcome Taemin with a giggle and my arms open for a hug. “Hey, what are you doing late at your own party?” I say, pulling away from his one-hand embrace.
“I came as fast as I could. You’re at my house. Stop complaining!” he laughs too.
. . .
It is now four hours later. Jonghyun and I are back in his car on our way to his apartment. I insisted he takes me home but he insisted harder for me to stay at his place since it’s closer.
“Plus, I missed you and I want to be with you a little longer,” he says, kissing my hand while his eyes are on the road. 
“Really? Well...” I say, having something in mind. I start drawing closer to him and slide my palm on his lap up to his crotch. I lean in closer, humming into his ear.
He swallows. “Hey, I’m driving.”
I laugh at him. “Fine, I’ll wait until we get home.”
“Home?” He looks at me for a second, smiling. Then back on the road.
I pause, thinking of what I said. “What?” 
“Did you just propose for us to live together?”
“Where’d that come from? You’re making stuff up again.” I playfully punch his arm.
He laughs out loud. It is so beautiful that it is the most musical sound I’ve ever heard.
After a few seconds of silence, he grabs my hand. I turn to him, waiting for him to say something. “So, do you want to move in?”
My mouth opens in quite a confusion but immediately curves into a huge smile. “Yeah, of course! I’d love that,” I screech. I lean into him for a kiss on his cheek, then rest my head on his shoulder while he pulls over into parking.
He turns to me, cupping my cheek. “I love you so much, Y/n.” 
It makes me melt every time he says those words to me. My eyes fill in with tears. “I love you, too.”
---
TWO YEARS EARLIER
An overflowing burning sensation boils in my stomach, making me abruptly sit up and throw up on myself. I feel like my internal organs are about to come out of my mouth. I feel so heavy that I can't open my eyes. When I do, it’s brief and cloudy.
I suddenly hear the door open. Somebody walks into my room. A nurse perhaps. After I feel them carefully laid me back down, I catch a blurry figure of a man standing in my direction by the door outside my room. Before I can control my own consciousness, everything goes black again.
. . .
I slowly open my eyes with the sun blaring at me. It irritates the shit out of me. I get out of bed in an attempt to close my blinds but somebody stops me.
“Whoa, wait, be careful.” A guy in a hospital gown like mine suddenly appears before me. 
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I glare at him.
He looks startled by my sudden rage. Despite this, he adjusts the wire connecting the needle inserted in my arm and the IV that’s hung next to my bed before I could mess it up. 
“Let me get that for you,” he mutters before closing the blinds for me, leaving a bit of sunlight.
My face relaxes from frowning as I watch him walk back toward me. He sits on the chair next to my bed. I notice his attractive appearance. Dark hair that covers his entire forehead, a cute smile and a muscular body. I somehow get lost in his stare with those innocent and sparkly eyes, making the anger inside me fade. I feel some kind of warm relief. 
“Uh, I’m Jonghyun. Sorry to disturb you. I just wanted to see how you’re doing. I have not heard about you since I found you on the roof a few days ago.”
I snap out, bringing back my scowl. “Why?”
He stutters. “Well-”
“We don’t even know each other.”
“No, but-”
“Do you like me? Is that why you saved me?” I’m getting more pissed with this stranger in my room. “Or are you just trying to be some kind of a hero that saves my life, then our story would turn into a cheesy romantic cliché?
Silence. He just stares at me. Probably awkward and shocked.
“Get out of here before I call security.”
Without saying anything else, he gets up from his seat and walks to the door. Looking flustered, he glances back at me before sliding it close behind him. 
. . .
The moon has come out. It’s the only time of day that I appreciate the outside. I stand before the window, looking out, watching the cars and cabs go about down there. Thinking that there are millions of people existing, I question why the fuck I’m alone. 
Literally. 
Emotionally. 
I fall on my butt, and for the first time in almost a year, I cry out loud. Extremely loud. Numbingly loud. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I pull my hair out, punch my head, slap my own face. Dig my nails into my neck, scratch down to my chest, and then my arms. I kick my legs hysterically. Repeatedly.
I hate being alive. 
Eventually, my hearing went faint, abandoning its purpose. I feel someone grab me from behind, restraining me tightly. 
“Let me go! Just please let me go. Please! I don’t want to be alive anymore.” I continue to scream furiously, trying to escape everything that tries to come at me.
But then, I see that it’s Minho who’s hugging me. I crash into his arms, shut the fuck up, and cry silently. 
“Y/n, I’m here. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. I’m here for you. Please, stop now,” he hushes me. I can finally hear his voice. He's the only one I can trust. His embrace is the only comforting thing to me.
I’m breathing heavily, trying to calm down. I watch a nurse approach with a syringe but Minho immediately shoves it away. 
We just stayed like this. I have not idea how long but I don’t want it to end.
After some time, the noises in my head settle down. I can see clearly again. 
---
PRESENT DAY
JONGHYUN
After my radio show, I come home to a beautiful lady waiting for me on the couch in the dressing gown I got her for Christmas last year, and a pair of thick-framed reading glasses with a book in hand. 
I join her, laying my head between her breasts. “Hi, roomie.” I look up at her, then give her a wink. We talked about moving in together weeks ago and the day I’d been waiting for has finally come. She’s finally settled in with me. There couldn’t be any other day happier than this.
She hisses. “Shut up,” then goes back to reading her book, blocking my view of her pretty little face. 
I hiss back. I then crawl out off the couch to pick her up bridal style, spinning her around.
Y/n shrieks, laughing. “Jonghyun, stop!” 
So I do. “Oh, hey, we haven’t done that thing couples do once they move in.”
“I thought you were going to be too tired from work,” she says, her arms around my neck.
Her thinking about sex is heaven to me! But that’s not what I’m talking about. “No, stupid,” I chuckle at her while I put her down on her feet. “Come here.” I grab her hand for her to follow me out the front door. 
“Wait, what? Where are we going? I’m not dressed,” she complains.
I close the door once we get out. Y/n is still confused about what we’re doing. I pick her up again, bridal style. “Now, enter the code.”
She doesn’t say anything else and does as I say.
Once she opens the door, “Welcome home!” I cheer.
She laughs out loud. “Oh, so now we’re officially living together. Amazing!” she says playfully.
But I don’t put her down just yet and head to the bedroom.
“What are you doing?”
“We’re doing that other thing that couples do when they move in together.” 
“Yay!” she cheers, then kisses me deeply on the spot as I bring the action to our bedroom. 
---
TWO YEARS EARLIER
There’s a knock on the door while I watch a movie on the flatscreen. I hit pause on the remote control.
“Hyung!” Minho calls out enthusiastically as he enters my room with bags of food in his hand.
“Hey! What are you doing here?”
“What? Can’t a guy visit his guy friend who is unlucky enough to get into an accident?” he jokes around, handing me my lunch.
“Thank you very much,” I bow to him. 
Minho and I do some catching up, talking about his new drama series, and some other work stuff until our conversation finds itself about the girl staying next door.
“Then she just kicked me out of her room and threatened to call security on me. This is what she did to a person who saved her life?” I pout.
“Oh, my God. You’re the stalker she’s been talking about?”
“Stalker? Woah, that woman. After what I did for her?” My blood is boiling with intense irritation. But it subsides quickly once I realize something. “Wait, you know her?”
“Yeah, I actually spent the night in her room.”
I pause, staring at Minho in confusion. “You’re not… Nothing’s going on with you two, is there?
“Oh, no. Nothing like that. I’ve known her since childhood. Our parents used to be close. That was when her mother was still alive and her dad hadn’t moved to Japan.”
“Wow, she has it tough, huh?” Just like that, irritation turns compassion. 
“Yeah, but there’s more to that. Something that no one can explain, not even her herself.”
She’s been suicidal. Her depression has taken a lot from her. Hearing this makes me want to look after her more.
---
PRESENT DAY
Y/N
Since then, Jonghyun had been visiting me every evening to have dinner together even when I kept pushing him away, asking him to stop trying to save me.
Days after he got discharged, he came back, but I wasn’t in my room anymore. When he found out that I was transferred to the psychiatric ward, he came running to my door.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were being transferred?”
“Why would I?” I frowned.
“Right,” he laughed awkwardly. 
His phone vibrated in his pocket. 
“Hey, what are you-” 
He trailed off, his face turning red as he listened. It’s definitely Minho.
I suddenly snatched the phone from Jonghyun’s hand and walk near the door out of earshot. “Hey, where the hell are you?” I scolded Minho in a whisper. “You are not letting him-”
“It’s okay, Y/n. He means well. Maybe it’s time for you to let somebody else in for a change,” he laughed statically. “Love you.” 
I sighed in irritation as I heard the dial tone. “Here.” I hand Jonghyun’s phone back to him while he just smiled at me goofily.
If it wasn’t for Minho, I never would’ve trusted anyone again. And because of Jonghyun, trusting and loving again was worth it. 
By the time I got discharged from the ward, Jonghyun and I eventually started dating officially. He was always there for me. Offered to come with me to my therapist twice a week but I insisted that I could go by myself. I would meet the rest of the boys not long after we got together. Since then, I’ve got the best friends ever.
Sooner or later, I would get back to work in teaching kindergarten. I can’t imagine my career going any other way. I thank myself for being alive today. Some days, I’d join Jonghyun and the boys in organizing a charity mission. I’d teach kids in far provinces. I forgot how fulfilling working with children was when I was too busy being miserable.
I’ve never felt so alive. Not to mention grateful. 
“I’m so proud of you, honey,” my dad tells me with a big smile on his face.
“Thanks, Dad,” I smile back at my computer screen. “By the way, when are you coming? You should tell me ahead of time so I can prepare you something.”
Before I can hear his response, the front door of my apartment beeped. “Oh, I have to go. Jonghyun’s here.”
“I should really meet this Jonghyun. You’re talking about him a lot,” he says.
I shake my head and laugh at him before hanging up.
“Was that your dad?” Jonghyun asks as soon as he approaches and kisses me on the lips.
“Yeah.”
“Is he coming to visit?”
“He didn’t say,” I tell him, shutting down my laptop.
I stare at Jonghyun while he removes his shoes and walks towards me.
“What?” he asks, then kisses me on the forehead.
Trying not to tear up, I just shake my head and giggle at him. If it wasn’t for Jonghyun, my life would be so much different right now. Hell, I’d be dead. Because of him, I regained my bond with my dad. 
Months ago, they had to go to Japan for work and he made me come with them so my father and I could finally talk. We had never seen eye to eye ever since Mom died. We had drifted apart. Now, we are closer than ever.
I’m not saying my depression is gone and my attacks are non-existent anymore. They still come every now and then, although not as bad as before. Jonghyun has always been so caring and understanding. I could cry just thinking about it. I got to be with the best person and have the best friends in the world. 
38 notes · View notes
blondiest · 8 months
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morgan lore btw. everyone say "yay morgan we're so glad you had an accident with a mandoline slicer in february 2021 🥰"
(meme credit to the delightful @ourflagmeansdeathnote 😌)
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takiki16 · 11 months
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so what’s the deal with your new blorbo? assume 1. i know how football works (used to actually watch) but not how/why some players get famous; (2) i know nothing about messi except that he. exist; (3) feel free to go bananas to your heart’s content if you decide to answer this.
fuuuuUUUUUUUQ ME. Can litchrally any Argentinian, any FC Barcelona supporter, ANYONE who has followed fuutyball for more than *checks watch* TWO WEEKS spot me for this one?!?! I am GROSSLY underqualified to answer this question Cunningham's law is about to hunt me for SPORT.
Okay. LIONEL MESSI. I can't summarize everything about this Guy who is currently one of the Main Characters of the most watched sport in the world, but I CAN summarize how he has started cooking my brain!!!
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(that is him!!!! my guy!!!! HIM JUMP)
I have been trying to read a book with @rhaeneystargaryen for at least a couple years now, but somehow never had the spoons or the right overlapping interest. And then she told me that she was reading this:
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I figured I would give it a try! I wanted something low effort, low investment, something I didn't care a whole lot about that I could put down at any moment bc work has been hell lately. And then I hit THIS line in the introduction, and I could literally FEEL the cursed hyperfixation key in my brain start to turn:
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GUESS WHICH ONE IS MESSI!!!!!
I'm not a twitter stan, I swear. I am AWARE there is a media layer here. These people are real, actual human beings with documented flaws and mistakes, I am WELL AWARE that they are ungodly wealthy pro athletes and not "stars who are just like us!!! ✨✨✨." It's also obviously reductive and unfair to view anyone solely through a comparative lens - no living being could live up to the marketing hype that has been generated around Messi, Ronaldo, or indeed any pro athlete in the elite leagues.
BUT GOTDAM IF THIS FUCKER DOESN'T MAKE IT HARD!!!!
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Bare bones: Lionel Messi is a football player born in Rosario, Argentina, who at 13yo moved to Spain to play for FC Barcelona. He joined the adult team at a whole ass 17 years old. Ensue absolutely RIDICULOUS teen prodigy meteoric rise, with both Messi and Barcelona winning all the Best Football Awards ever and Best Individual Sports Achievements in Everything. I have spent the last two weeks spending FAR too much time reading football books, and all the gotdam graphs look like this:
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People talk about Messi being the player who made them fall in love with "the most beautiful game," and I can SEE WHY!!! HERE I AM!!!! A CLOWN!!! ALSO FALLING IN LOVE!!!! I am googling sports highlight reels of his plays like a CHAD FOOTY HOOLIGAN!! WHO AM I, I AM HAVING AN IDENTITY CRISIS. It is just so much fun to WATCH him! Listening to commentators screaming "Eight, ten, IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY DEFENDERS THERE HE GOES THROUGH THEM!!! MESSI GOAAAALLLLL"
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What makes it WORSE is the whole fukken rivalry business the book was about. Cristiano Ronaldo was another super-gifted player who debuted at about the same time and had a similar prodigy teen genius rise. He signed for a rival club in the same league at the same time Messi was playing with Barcelona. The story reads like a gotdam Hollywood sports drama, on both an individual and a team level!! I cannot IMAGINE what it was like watching this unfold as it was happening!
For starters: on an individual level, they were constantly thrown up against each other for every award imaginable. The Ballon d'Or awards list, which crowns you King of Soccer for the year, has looked like this since 2008:
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(there is obviously talk that Messi is up for an EIGHTH award this year, but I don't think about the future bc it is bad for my cooked brain 😊)
On a team level, there was (and IS) of course the clubs. I am ABSOLUTELY not qualified to get into the weeds on this, but the rivalry between Barcelona and Real Madrid has deep, deep political, historical, and cultural roots going back (among other things) to Catalonian oppression under the fascist Franco regime in Spain. Josep Suñol, then-president of FC Barcelona, was shot in 1936 by Francoist troops.The matches between the two clubs and the two players with their drastically different teams and styles at the time were super-charged - an ACTUAL QUALIFIED Barcelona supporter is going to have to get in here and explain the history and emotion behind the Clasicos bc THAT IS SEVERAL BOOKS IN AND OF ITSELF!!!!!
The whole point of THIS particular book was not, in fact, a blow-by-blow comparison of the players. The point was that by being WHO they were and WHEN they were, Messi and Ronaldo changed the shape of the game forever in terms of marketing, branding, team strategy, finances, etc etc etc. It's an interesting read (if not entirely unbiased on all points), if you enjoy the absolute blood and oil-soaked clown show that is professional football money!
But ANYWAY.
AFTER I finished the book Messi ended up cooking my brain bc (1) all of the context above re: rivalry in league football, and (2) his PERSONALITY. Someone made him in a lab to ruin my life!
I mean, the club loyalty gets me. For his entire professional career, Messi has played for exactly two teams - Barcelona and his homeland Argentina NT. He only left Barcelona in 2021, VERY much against his will (per him, his agent, his friends, his family, AND FC Barcelona) due to an absolute hot mess of a league financial situation that is apparently still sorting itself out. I don't know how common it is for pro athletes at his level to move around, but I feel like it's more common than that!!! THE CLUB LOYALTY gets me, the HOME LOYALTY gets me!!!! Especially as he's gotten better and better, and there's been more and more pressure on him to keep delivering even in the absence of anything else!
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The gotdam STOICISM also gets me!!! Call it shyness, call it humility, call it down-to-earthness or reservedness or whatever you want - what everyone kept mentioning about him in the books (and what certain French marketing departments are still probably saying about him) is how QUIET he is. Journalists would complain about how he "made it to age 30 without ever uttering an interesting sentence in public." A Nike exec who lost a bid with his agent for a sponsorship waved it off by saying "Imagine how much trouble we would be in if Messi had a personality." Relative to his peers in the elite football world, he doesn't have a flash lifestyle with a huge entourage. He doesn't do a lot of press. He doesn't try to push a personal brand, even though it's a big chunk of income for wherever he plays. Even though he obviously COULD, he doesn't go around talking about Greatest Of All Time (TM). When he DOES give interviews he doesn't even talk super loudly. He keeps to his immediate family and his closest circle of friends.
AND YET. AND YET. ON THE PITCH, HE PLAYS LIKE HE DOES. He creates not just for himself, but for his TEAMMATES the way that he does! I realize that NO ONE gets an award for being a team player in a team sport, or for "not being as much of a dick as you could have been," but HE STILL HAS HIS HOMETOWN ACCENT!!! He dedicates his goals to his GRANDMOTHER! He met his wife when he was FIVE YEARS OLD, he has never had a relationship with anyone else ("It has always been Antonella, for me"), he has three beautiful kids, his teammates keep apparently falling in love with him and doing Intricate Rituals, I AM ENDEARED I AM ENDLESSLY ENDEARED
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Did I mention he is also very short? Allow me to mention that. 5"7 / 1.7 meters in pro-athlete world is PICK-UPABLE SIZE. Multiple reels out there of his teammates celebrating goals just by PICKING HIM UP it MAKES ME SO FOND
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(on an Intricate Rituals note, Messi's size and his evasive style of play has caused a lot of opposing team's strategy to be "make a cage, kick him as soon as you can and tackle often," which has in turn prompted a lot of specific protection strategies for him as a forward and also over-protective teammates :)))). WHICH OF COURSE COOKS MY BRAIN EVEN MORE YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.)
And that isn't even STARTING on his saga with the Argentina NT, which reads like YET ANOTHER HOLLYWOOD SPORT DRAMA that I cannot believe actually happened!
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Again, I am begging ANY Argentine to jump in here, I AM GROSSLY IGNORANT as to the history of this sport I got here two whole weeks ago how is this HAPPENING to meeeeeeee
My very basic understanding of the situation is that Messi has played for the national team ever since 2004, whenever he was on break from Barcelona. Over the years since then, Argentina (with Messi) has tried again and again to win the World Cup (and the Copa America), but consistently failed despite regularly advancing to finals. BECAUSE Messi was on the team, Argentina routinely and perhaps unfairly got billed as "favorites" to win, with criticism in the press being focused disproportionately on Messi when they didn't. I don't know how bad the situation in Argentinian media got, but even the western English outlets were picking it up. "Messi plays better for Barcelona than for his home country, Messi isn't Argentinian enough, Messi keeps too much to himself and doesn't sing the anthem,etc etc etc". Maradona famously commented that Messi was "a great person, but had no personality," and that it was useless to try to make a leader out of him because he caved under pressure (referring to Messi reportedly being sick from nerves before the world cup games).
(note: gotdam rivalry. Of the people named who would be better and more stylish leaders, Cristiano Ronaldo was up top )
The pressure DID get to Messi in the end - he issued a statement in 2016 saying he would retire from international football, but there was a huge home campaign to get him to come back to the team. Argentina still didn't win the 2018 World Cup (players of opposing teams said that their strategy against Argentina was not letting them pass to Messi). And so on, and so forth.
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AND THEN!!!!! 2021!!!!!
I THINK I HAVE POSTED FAR TOO MUCH ALREADY about the current Argentina NT for someone who, as I said, JUST ARRIVED AT THIS GOTDAM SPORT, but I'm going to make everyone look at these quotes again. These are quotes the team has given ABOUT MESSI HOW IS THIS REAL????
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Argentina would go on to win the Copa America - and then...well 🥰
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I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE EXPLAINED THIS ADEQUATELY!!! I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE SUFFICIENTLY REPRESENTED THE DEGREE TO WHICH MY BRAIN IS COOKED!!! Did that mean anything to anyone???? I don't know!
HELL
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crunchycrystals · 1 year
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im rereading tlt for the 5th time and like every time annabeth says something and percy says something i just think "i missed them"
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sixofravens-reads · 10 months
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Using this to justify my irrational hold-requesting
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forgetful-river · 2 years
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Merry 4/13 to all who celebrate!!
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dodgebolts · 11 months
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I'm 12 pages deep into this paper, its nuts. Also worldcat and jstor have a bunch of journals.
YAAAA I love jstor it’s my best friend like I found a book on queerbaiting on there that I downloaded freshman year for a paper that’s still sitting on my computer to be read 😭
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lonelyteenagerdotmp3 · 8 months
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also anyways if anybody want PDFs of any of CMQ's books or Heartstopper or the crows duology or Nikolai duology tell me because i downloaded those PDFs while reading and never deleted them
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ofpd · 1 year
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not gonna read the svara thing lol
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smallcrystals · 1 year
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still can’t believe empathy for the devil is over bro like. what do you mean it’s over
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titsdelicate · 1 year
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oh no i feel like reading tsoa again...
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diana-prince-wayne · 1 year
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Has there ever been a fic that you love but you don't touch it for a while because a character (one that you usually love) does something that hits the wrong buttons and you stop reading it because you don't want them to aggravate you even more?
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kideternity · 20 days
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Do you guys wanna talk about Shadowpact. Do you guys please wanna talk about fucking Shadowpact. Please. Please.
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redgoldsparks · 7 months
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My very last comic for The Nib! End of an era! Transcription below the cut. instagram / patreon / portfolio / etsy / my book / redbubble
The first event I went to with GENDER QUEER was in NYC in 2019 at the Javits Center.
So many of the people who came to my signing were librarians, and so many of them said the same thing: "I know exactly who I want to give this to!" Maia: "Thank you for helping readers find my book!" While working on the book, I was genuinely unsure if anyone outside of my family and close friends would read it. But the early support of librarians and two American Library Association awards helped sell two print runs in first year.
Since then, GENDER QUEER been published in 8 languages, with more on the way: Spanish, Czech, Polish, French, Italian, Norwegian, Portugese and Dutch.
It has also been the most banned book in the United States for the past two years. The American Library Association has tracked an astronomical increase in book challenges over the past few years. Most of these challenges are to books with diverse characters and LGBTQ themes. These challenges are coming unevenly across the US, in a pattern that mirrors the legislative attacks on LGBTQ people. The Brooklyn Public Library offered free eCards to anyone in the US aged 13-21, in an effort to make banned books more available to young readers. A teacher in Norman, Oklahoma gave her students the QR code for the free eCard and lost her job. Summer Boismeir is now working for the Brooklyn Public Library. Hoopla and Libby/Overdrive, apps used to access digital library books, are now banned in Mississippi to anyone under 18. Some libraries won’t allow anyone under 18 to get any kind of library card without parental permission. When librarians in Jamestown, Michigan refused to remove GENDER QUEER and several other books, the citizens of the town voted down the library’s funding in the fall 2022 election. Without funding, the library is due to close in mid-2024. My first event since covid hit was the American Library Association conference in June 2022 in Washington, DC. Once again, the librarians in my signing line all had similar stories for me: “Your book was challenged in our district" "It was returned to the shelf!" "It was removed from the shelf..." "It was moved to the adult section."
Over and over I said: "Thank you. Thank you for working so hard to keep my book in your library. I’m sorry you had to defend it, but thank you for trying, even if it didn't work." We are at a crossroads of freedom of speech and censorship. The future of libraries, both publicly funded and in schools, are at stake. This is massively impacting the daily lives of librarians, teachers, students, booksellers, and authors around the country. In May 2023, I read an article from the Washington Post analyzing nearly 1000 of the book challenges from the 2021-2022 school year. I was literally on route to a festival to talk about book bans when I read a startling statistic. 60% of the 1000 book challenges were submitted by just 11 people. One man alone was responsible for 92 challenges. These 11 people seem to have made submitting copy-cat book challenges their full-time hobby and their opinions are having an outsized ripple effect across the nation. WE NEED TO MAKE THE VOICES SUPPORTING DIVERSE BOOKS AND OPPOSING BOOK BANS EVEN LOUDER. If you are able too, show up for your library and school board meetings when book challenges are debated. Send supportive comments and emails about the Pride book display and Drag Queen story hours. If you see a display you like– for Banned Book Week, AAPI Month, Black History Month, Disability Awareness Month, Jewish holidays, Trans Day of Remembrance– compliment a librarian! Make sure they feel the love stronger than the hate <3
Maia Kobabe, 2023
The Nib
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exbeaut · 9 months
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i finally read summer sons it was good
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fiercynn · 5 months
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poetry outlets that support a free palestine
after finding out that the poetry foundation/POETRY magazine pulled a piece that discussed anti-zionism because they "don't want to pick a side" during the current genocide, i decided to put together a list of online outlets who are explicitly in solidarity with palestine where you can read (english-language) poetry, including, except where otherwise stated, by palestinian poets!
my criteria for this is not simply that they have published palestinian poets or pro-palestine statements in the past; i only chose outlets that, since october 7, 2023, have done one of the following:
published a solidarity statement against israeli occupation & genocide
signed onto the open letter for writers against the war on gaza and/or the open letter boycotting the poetry foundation
published content that is explicitly pro-palestine or anti-zionist, including poetry that explicitly deals with israeli occupation & genocide
shared posts that are pro-palestine on their social media accounts
fyi this is undoubtedly a very small sample. also some of these sites primarily feature nonfiction or short stories, but they do all publish poetry.
outlets that focus entirely on palestinian or SWANA (southwest asia and north africa) literature
we are not numbers, a palestinian youth-led project to write about palestinian lives
arab lit, a magazine for arabic literature in translation that is run by a crowd-funded collective
sumuo, an arab magazine, platform, and community (they appear to have a forthcoming palestine special print issue edited by leena aboutaleb and zaina alsous)
mizna, a platform for contemporary SWANA (southwest asian & north africa) lit, film, and art
the markaz review, a literary arts publication and cultural institution that curates content and programs on the greater middle east and communities in diaspora
online magazines who have published special issues of all palestinian writers (and all of them publish palestinian poets in their regular issues too)
fiyah literary magazine in december 2021, edited by nadia shammas and summer farah (if you have $6 usd to spare, proceeds from the e-book go to medical aid for palestinians)
strange horizons in march 2021, edited by rasha abdulhadi
the baffler in june 2021, curated by poet/translators fady joudah & lena khalaf tuffaha
the markaz review has two palestine-specific issues, on gaza and on palestinians in israel, currently free to download
literary hub featured palestinian poets in 2018 for the anniversary of the 1948 nakba
adi magazine, who have shifted their current (october 2023) issue to be all palestinian writers
outlets that generally seem to be pro-palestine/publish pro-palestine pieces and palestinian poetry
protean magazine (here's their solidarity statement)
poetry online (offering no-fee submissions to palestinian writers)
sundog lit (offering no-fee submissions to palestinian writers through december 1, 2023)
guernica magazine (here's a twitter thread of palestinian poetry they've published) guernica ended up publishing a zionist piece so fuck them too
split this rock (here's their solidarity statement)
the margins by the asian-american writers' workshop
the offing magazine
rusted radishes
voicemail poems
jewish currents
the drift magazine
asymptote
the poetry project
ctrl + v journal
the funambulist magazine
n+1 magazine (signed onto the open letter and they have many pro-palestine articles, but i'm not sure if they have published palestinian poets specifically)
hammer & hope (signed onto the letter but they are a new magazine only on their second issue and don't appear to have published any palestinian poets yet)
if you know others, please add them on!
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