#judy blackswan | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bantansworld · 2 years

Text

Double Platinum || DadKNJ Part 3

➜ Summary: “ I'm just trying to look out for your best interest! Because what if you end up making a stupid mistake that'll cost you your whole career!"

" A stupid mistake? You mean like me? That is why you decided to leave me, right? Because I was a stupid mistake that could have costed you your whole career?"

➜ Pairing: Unspecified for now

➜ Genre: Daughter given up for adoption, Becoming an Idol, Harshness of the idol industry, Namjoon reconnecting with his daughter, journey to forgive, messy one sided beef with other group

Warnings: Adpotion, giving up child, Heartbreak, implied racism, strict dieting, controlling career, abusive manager, abuse, being singled out, harsh social media comments, depression, profanity, idol life, learning to forgive

➜ Word count: 3958

-- { Jaelah's POV } --

My body twitched a few times as I started to wake up from my sleep. It took me a couple of minutes to actually acknowledge that I was awake and open my eyes. I really didn't want to wake up. Not right now, but I knew that I had to.

As soon as my eyes peeked opened and I took a breath in and let it out, all the events from yesterday came rushing back to me, and even after all the amazing things I experienced yesterday, the thing that took over my mind the most was the rejection of all of the entertainment companies.

At that mere thought, the darkness I felt pinching my heart came back, swooping me up and encasing me in sadness. I just didn't understand. My mind just couldn't wrap around that. How was I not accepted into a least one company? Is it conceited of me to say that I think that I had a really good audition video? I put my all into it, showcasing my skills of dancing, rapping singing, writing lyrics, acting, everything that I could think of.

I sighed to myself. Sighed at the reality. I know that there are probably many applicants that did the same thing, hell there were probably many other applicants that were way better than me, even so, I just can't help but think my talents had nothing to do with why I was rejected by so many companies. I just can't help but to think that maybe my skin tone played a role in that too.

I spent all morning wracking my brain on that thought. Walking up to the door of the store, I took my key out and unlocked it, flipping the switch to the welcome sign, opening the store officially.

I walked over to the door that led to behind the counter and unlocked that as well, walking over to the phone that we used to clock in and out and punched my numbers in, a "clocked in at 8:07am" flashing across the screen.

I sighed, as I sat down in the stool, pulling my phone out to scroll through my twitter. I wish I could just close the store for today. I really didn't want to be bothered today, I just wanted to bury myself under my covers and soak in a stew of my own self loathing. With another sigh, I scrolled more and more, that dark feeling swallowing me a bit more every time another mutual retweeted a newly debuted group on to my timeline.

" Why can't that be me?" I muttered to myself, feeling my eyes start to tear up.

Ding ding ding. The bell above the door sounded as a customer walked into the store. I immediately wiped the tears from my eyes and stood up straight, placing my phone in my back pocket as I put a smile on my face. " Good morning! Welcome to Kim's Corner. Please enjoy your time shopping with us." I said to the customer.

The woman bowed her greetings to me, then went on about her business. I took my phone back out of my pocket and sat back down, my thoughts taking over my mind once again.

— Should I just give up? I just don't understand the point in keep trying to force something that's obviously not meant to be. For years I've been trying to get into a company. Making excuses over and over for why I didn't make it, thinking back then that my talents weren't good enough and that I needed to improve more before I would be accepted, when that just wasn't the case. Maybe I should just accept the fact that the idol industry has an image that they want to uphold and I just didn't fit that image. I wasn't apart of the beauty standards that they uphold. —

My frown deepened at my thoughts. I honestly felt as if my brain and my heart was locked in a heated battle. My brain trying to rationalize to the circumstances, while my heart just wasn't ready to let go of my life long dream.

I saw the woman making her way over to the counter with her items in hand. " Hello. Are you doing well today?" I asked her, taking the items from under the glass and begin scanning them.

" Yes I am. Thank you." She replied to me me as she started digging around in her purse.

I finished scanning her items, looking at the screen as the total amount popped up. " Your total will be ₩19,483.35. I let her know.

She held up her card, letting me know that she was using it and I nodded and pressed the card button on the register. " You can go ahead and swipe it now." I told her.

She did as I said and swiped her card. The register taking a little longer to process her card before "declined" popped up on the screen.

" I'm sorry. Let me try a different card." She muttered to me, going back into her purse as she searched around for a few seconds. She pulled out another card, looking at the front of it before nodding her head. " Here it is." She said holding up the other card.

I nodded once again and pressed the button, gesturing for her to slide her card. It took just one second and her transaction was approved. I had bagged her things and handed them to her along with her receipt. " Thank you for shopping at Kim's Corner. Please come again." I said with a bow.

" Yes. I will thank you." The woman said bowing her head slightly as she left the store.

And it was back to me and my thoughts as I sat back down, taking my phone out and continued with scrolling through my timeline.

I guess time really do fly by when you have nothing to do. It had been about two hours since I clocked in and just like yesterday, customers were scarce. I spent more time scrolling through twitter and watching youtube videos then I did anything else.

As more time ticked on and no one was showing up, I stood up from the stool, grabbing my keys so that the door wouldn't lock behind me and made my way out of the room. I walked down the isles of the store, seeing what products I needed to stock up on before I went back to the storage room and grabbed a box of extra spicy ramyeon. I walked out of the storage room with the box in hand, hearing the familiar ding ding ding of the bell.

" Hello. Welcome to Kim's Corner, thank you for shopping with us." I said to whoever it was that walked in.

I was a bit preoccupied with the box that took up most of my vision as I walked over to the isle that houses all of the different varieties of ramyeon " Seems like these are selling well these days." I said aloud as I placed the box on the ground and started pulling at the tape that sealed the box shut.

I started taking the packs of the ramyeon out of the box and placing them on the shelves when a scream ripped from my throat when a voice behind me spoke. " Yeah they are. I actually came all this way just for these." The voice said.

I placed my hand over my rapidly beating heart, my breath shuttering as I looked up at the young man that towered over me, his wide does eyes stared at me apologetically. " I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He said frantically, bowing his head in apology.

" N-No it's fine." I said to him as I stood to my feet after placing the last of the ramen in the box onto the shelves. " I'm just a bit of a scary cat." I said to him, moving a curl the escaped my ponytail form my face.

We both laughed awkwardly. It was then that I got more of a good look at the person I was speaking to. My words were caught in my throat as the smile on my face faded and my mouth opened in shock.

" Hello!" He said with a smile. " We met yesterday right?" He asked.

I schooled my face, remembering that I was at work and I wanted to be professional. " I- uh yes I did! It's nice to see you again. I hope you enjoyed your package." I said to him, my heart beating a mile a minute although I tried not to show it.

A real smile graced his face as he nodded eagerly. " I did! Jimin-hyung and I ate mostly everything in the box! Thank you for packing such great snacks for us." He said to me.

" It's no problem at all. It's my job." I responded to him, moving over from blocking the shelf of ramyeon and gestured for him to go head. " You said you came here for this right?" I asked him.

" Mmh." He sounded, walking over to the shelf, grabbing multiple packs of the extra spicy ones.

I walked away from him, going to break the box down and to put it with the rest of the used boxes then I made my way back over to the door, unlocking it before making my way back to the register. I looked around seeing Jungkook still walking around the store, his hands filled with packs of noodles and other snacks.

I was glad I had some time to breathe to myself. Trying to hold in my inner fa girl was a bit taxing but I think I did well. I don't know what village or town I saved in my past life, but for me to meet Jungkook two times, back to back like this, I must have been a real saint in my past life.

I saw him walking over here with his hands full of snacks and ramyeon, placing it all messily on the counter.

" Oh wow." I said to him, not holding back the giggle that escaped me.

He looked up at me with a sheepish smile. " I wanna make sure I don't run out so soon again now that Jiminie-Hyung isn't there to eat all of my food up." He explained to me.

" Ahhhh." I sounded, nodding my head as I reached under the glass, grabbing the items and scanning them and bagging them as I went.

We fell into a comfortable silence as I continued scanning, when not too long after that, Jungkook spoke up again.

" You know, I've been out all morning looking for these specific ramyeon packs and everywhere I went they were sold out." He said with a slight whine. "'And then I come here, but not only are the ramyeon here, you are too, but I supposed I shouldn't be surprised you're here. You do work here after all." He rambled on.

" Do you do this often? I would think that a huge idol like you walking around so freely would cause a lot of mayhem to happen." I said to him as I scanned the last item in the pile, placing it in the bag.

" Yeah it would, that's why when I'm in the mood to shop for myself, I go early in the day so that I don't attract attention. I also cover up so I'm not as recognizable." He explained, gesturing to his outfit.

"Ahhhh." I sounded again, nodding in understanding. " Umm your total is going to be ₩100,014.53." I told him.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a black card. I pressed the button on the register and gestured to him that he could swipe with he did and immediately the transaction went through.

I slid his bags through the hole in the glass along with his receipt. " Well thank you so much for shopping at Kim's Corner again. We really appreciate your business here. Feel free to come by any time" I said to him with a bow.

" Of course! Thank you for such wonderful service yet again." He replied to me, bowing his head again.

I watched with a heavy heart as he started to walk away. I wanted to open my mouth to ask him another question, but I didn't want to keep him any longer than he had to be here, and plus I didn't want to seem unprofessional.

" I- uh Jungkook-shii." My mouth open and spilled the words beofre I had even realized what I was doing.

Jungkook stopped in his tracks and turned around to look back at me. " Yes?" He asked.

" I... I uhh... Can I ask you a question? You don't have to if you don't want to. I just-"

My ramblings were cut short with a laugh. " Nonits fine. I'll be happy to answer your question if I can." He said to me.

My heart felt like some of the darkness was rising off of it.

" I just..." I took a few seconds to collect my words beofre I spoke again. " Donyounhave any advice for an aspiring artists that's trying to get into the idol industry?" I asked him, my cheeks warming as I watched him toss the question around in his head for about a minute.

" We'll for starters, being in this industry, I would say you'd have to have very tough skin. You have to realized quickly that not every thing is gonna happen suddenly. A lot of things in this industry takes time, sometimes a long time before things are a bit smoother. For me, one thing that I take very seriously is my craft. I work to perfect my craft because knowing that you can be better than you were before is motivating for me. And most importantly I would say to not give up, no matter what. No matter how tough times are, or how much things just don't look like it's gonna get better. Don't give up. Those are thoughts that I hold close to my heart, even now." He answered, sincerity dripping from his words.

I took his words into myself and soaked in them. I felt my eyes tear up and I couldn't catch the tear that dripped down my face fast enough before he saw it. His face held concern at first before a look of recognition appeared, a small smile coming to his face.

" I don't know your story, but I just want to tell you to push on. If being in this industry is something that you want that bad. Don't give up. If this is a dream of yours, then you hold on tight until you can fulfill them. Fight through your hardships, because there will be many, push through and you will prevail." He said to me.

The tears wouldn't stop falling from my eyes, but I continued to wipe them away. " Thank you for your kind words. I'll hold on to them and keep them with me on my journey." I said to him.

" Please do. I was in your place not that long ago and somebody had to tell me something similar." He told me.

" Mmh." I sounded out as I continued wiping tears from my face, nodding at his words.

" Fighting!" He cheered out before he left with a wave.

I watched him walk out with his bags on his arms before he stopped in his tracks, taking his phone from his pocket and holding it up to take a selfie. He looked down at his phone, typing something in it before putting it back in his pocket, then made his way to the black Mercedes that was parked out front.

" Wow... I really just got advice from an international superstar. One of my ultimate faves. I'll never forget this moment." I said to myself in somewhat of a daze, wiping the last of my tears from my eyes.

" Thank you for shopping at Kim's Corner, please come again soon." I said to the customer as they walked away with a bow.

I turned to put away the extra bag when I jumped, hearing the store door being aggressively pushed open. My eyes shot over to the door seeing Youngheun run in, her breath heavy as she bowed in apology to the customer she almost plowed over beofre she rushed over to the door and started beating on it.

I was alarmed. Why was she so frantic? I rushed over to the door letting her in, " Youngheun? What's wrong? Are you ok?!" I asked her, looking her over to make sure she didn't have any bruising or anything on her.

" Stop stop stop! I'm fine!" She said moving my hands from checking her beofre she placed my hands on her cheeks. " Tell me I'm dreaming Jae. Please tell me I'm dreaming." She said to me.

I was so confused and had no idea what she was rambling on about. " You're not dreaming. And you're early today." I said to her, glancing down at the time that showed on my phone screen.

" Ok. I'm not dreaming. So then that means this is real." She said to me as she held her phone up to my face.

She held her phone so close to my face that I had to move her hand back and when my eyes focused on what she was showing me, I realized it was twitter and on the picture was Jungkook, posing with a smile on his face and a the bags in his hands right in front of the store with a caption that read,

— " Did this just become my new favorite store? They have so many good snacks and the worker there is always so nice. 10 out of 10 recommended." —

My eyes widened at the post as I rushed to pick up my phone, unlocking it with a swiftness. I pressed on my twitter app, seeing the blue screen with the bird appear before my timeline had loaded up. My entire timeline was freaking out about Jungkook's post. Some were pointing out how they didn't live too far from the store and we're gonna come here just because Jungkook did. Others were responding how jealous they were that they were too far away to come.

I was shocked. Did Jungkook do this knowingly, giving our little corner store more exposure and potentially business?

" Oh my gosh..." I said absentmindedly.

" Jaelah you..." Youngheun had paused her words as she took in a breath. " Jae this is your second time meeting Jungkook. Second time in a row! This isn't fairrrrrr!" She said whining. " Why am I never around whenever he appears!" She continued to whine.

My mind was still somewhat gone as she spoke. " Yeah, he came in about 20 minutes ago looking for ramyeon. We talked for a bit and he gave me some great advice." I rambled on.

" And you're this calm about it?! I don't know if I would have been able to handle it. I would have probably fainted." She said dramatically.

" I appeared calm on the outside to remain professional and not freak him out, but on the inside, I felt like I was dying and going to heaven over and over again... until it got kind of serious and I was crying like a baby." I said, trying to rush that part out quickly.

" Woah Woah Woah... you got serious? Crying? What happened." She asked, her sunny demeanor suddenly not sunny anymore.

" No no, it's not anything he did. Heunnie he's honestly so nice and sweet. It didn't even feel like talking to an international superstar, but like an old friend or something." I explained to her.

"Mmh. So what happened? Why were you crying." She asked me, her eyes never leaving mine.

I suddenly felt embarrassed. " I kinda asked him in advice for getting into the idol industry and he gave me some really good advice that touched my heart. You know I'm a crybaby." I explained to her.

" Oh wow. Getting advice from one of the artists you admire the most. What village did you save in your past life?" She said to me.

I laughed. " I said the same thing." I told her. " But yeah, it really made me feel so much better. I was so sad this morning. I felt like I was slipping into a depressive episode. I was really ready to just give up on trying to become an idol." I said to her.

Her eyes widened at my words. I could read her face like the back of my hand. First she looked confused on why I would do that, then she thought for a second before realization set in for her.

" Oh Jae. The auditions didn't go well?" She asked, sadness for me appearing in her eyes.

I shook my head. " I was rejected by every company I applied for." I said lowly.

Youngheun kissed her teeth, pulling me into a hug. " Those bastards don't know what they're missing." She said to me.

We pulled away from each other.

" Before hearing Jungkook's words, I really did want to give up because I felt like, what's the point if I was just gonna keep getting rejected by the same companies. I've been trying to get into an entertainment company since I was 12 years old, back then I understood that maybe I was too young, but since when was that ever a problem in kpop? I just feel like the older I get, the more I realize that maybe they just don't want to accept me because I'm mixed." I explained to her.

Youngheun's ears were open as she listened to me and let me rant before she spoke again. " I just don't understand why that would be a problem. There are plenty of mixed idols that debut in groups and a lot of them become popular." She said to me.

" Yeah heunnie, but what's the difference between them and me? Most of the time the mixed idols that debut and make it big are mixed with either another Asian nationality, or their mixed with white. You never see an idol with darker skin debut." I told her.

A deep frown came to her lips. " Now that I'm looking at it like that, you're so right." She said with a deep sigh.

Silence falls between us as we let the reality sink in.

" But the encouraging words from Jungkook makes me want to keep fighting. He told me to keep fighting for my dream and I will prevail. I know that's a gamble, but it's a gamble I'm willing to take." I said to her passionately.

" We'll that's great. And besides, you can always come apply to DRMusic with Dahye and me. It's a very small company, but hey, we have to start somewhere right?" She said to me.

My eyes widened and I smacked my hand against my forehead. " That's who I was forgetting. I forgot to submit my audition to DRmusic because I fell asleep. Ughhhh I'm so dumb." I told to her.

Youngheun laughed at me, pulling me into a hug. " I'm glad you're gonna keep fighting. We got this this Jae. I'm determined to see our dreams come true." She said to me.

" I am too." I responded back to her.

We were in our hug for a few more seconds when we begin to hear chatter outside of the store. My eyes had widened.

There was a group of people beginning to form, taking pictures in front of the store and posing the same way Jungkook did.

" Oh my gosh." I said in disbelief.

" We're about to be so busy." Youngheun finished.

11 notes · View notes

angryorbit · 4 months

Text

BLACKSWAN drama summarised:

BLACKSWAN is a Kpop group that originally started out as a five-member group with Fatou (Senegalese), Leia (Brazillian/Japenese), Judy, Hyeme and Youngheun (all Korean).

Fatou is the first African Kpop idol and was the only black Kpop idol for several years. Leia was the first Brazillian Kpop idol.

Blackswan underwent a massive lineup change after Hyeme, Judy and Youngheun left the group and Leia was kicked out for multiple reasons:

Leia groped Youngheun's breasts on a live stream, which she stated made her extremely uncomfortable. She groped Judy as well.

Leia started bullying accusations against Fatou that she later apologised for and said were fake

Fatou got a lot of extremely racist hate from people who believed the accusations and Leia's apology was very weak and did little to stop the hate.

Leia is... not a good singer. She spent 7 years as a Kpop trainee and remains a bad singer.

BLACKSWAN's new lineup consists of 4 members: Fatou, Sriya (Indian), Nvee (Mixed African American) and Gabi (Brazillian). Leia wanted to remain in the group and said she hadn't left, but Fatou confirmed that the 4 member lineup had no plans to be changed.

They are now the first Kpop group to have no Korean members. Their Indian-inspired song "Karma" was a hit and is BLACKSWAN's most successful song. Their single "Cat And Mouse" was listed as one of the best Kpop songs of the year. Fatou released a self-produced solo mixtape "Adaeh" that was promoted by Pop Base, multiple clips of BLACKSWAN went viral, and they performed at Waterbomb Music Festival.

Shit popped off when Youngheun liked Tweets calling out Leia and made posts against her, saying that Leia had been kicked out of multiple groups, she could have been in Pristin, but was talentless. Bearing in mind, neither Youngheun or any of the BLACKSWAN members have been able to do anything on social media without being harassed by Leia stans and also bearing in mind that Leia literally groped Youngheun and made her leave the group.

Many, many stans came to Leia's defence, completely ignoring what a shitty person Leia is, for no other reason than because she was Brazillian. They started out harassing YoungheunThey started an "anti-hate" campaign for Leia... primarily consisting of harassing BLACKSWAN and Youngheun on social media. The "anti-hate" campaign claimed that Fatou was a bully to the other 4 members and Leia, based off decontextualised TikTok clips, and that Fatou was a bully to Leia because she liked Youngheun's Tweet and Tweet's supporting Youngheun. Bearing in mind that Youngheun was one of the people who convinced her not to quite Kpop.

Despite the main runners of the "anti-hate" campaign claiming that they didn't endorse racism, Fatou went through an extreme amount of racist hate again, and Sriya and Nvee were targetted as well. Someone also attempted to post deepfake porn of Sriya (who is 19!!!).

Fatou asked her fans to send her the Tweets of the people that were harassing her (probably a lawsuit), and quite a few of the Twitter users instantly deleted their accounts. Sriya has also made it appear like she may be looking to sue. Their company (DR Entertainment), whilst known for being shitty, is working on protecting them better.

Leia stans are continuing to send hate to the members on Twitter under the guise of "freeing" Leia. Leia has nothing she could be freed from. She was kicked out of DR Entertainment and BLACKSWAN. All the "evidence" that Leia was ever bullied or a victim is extremely dubious.

TLDR: Leia, a half-white half-Japanese ex Kpop idol, groped 2 fellow members, started false bullying accusations against Fatou, a black Kpop idol, and was kicked out of her group and company. Leia's stans continued to harass her victims, spread racist hate and are spreading a misinformation campaign to defame Fatou and pretend that Leia is a victim.

Shorter TLDR: Leia is a fucking looser with racist fans who only like her because she's Brazillian and she gives them an excuse to harass a black woman.

Even Shorter TLDR: Fuck Leia lmfao

Anyways, show some love for BLACKSWAN if you can. They're really talented and do not deserve the hate they are recieving.

32 notes · View notes