#js i'm getting anxiety already

[greaseonmymouth]

As you've asked for asks!:

Do you have any quick-and-dirty book/fic binding methods a terrified-of-failure novice could use to bang something out to get over the first collywobbling step of Actually Doing The Thing? (this may be something I've been meaning to ask for ages)

yes! I absolutely do! in my opinion the best quick-and-dirty bookbinding method is a no-glue pamphlet: you don't have to mess with glue or measuring or cutting anything, all you need is your text, some paper, a needle and thread. you can use the same needle to punch holes if you don't have an awl.

this is going to be a little long but that's because I'm going to write out some fairly detailed instructions for an A5 sized pamphlet. If you don't want detailed instructions and think you can glean the necessary info from photos, just skip to the photos! I've also linked tutorials.

for preparing the text to printing, in whatever software you use (word, libreoffice, gdocs, whatever) make sure your document is set to page size A5. make it look readable. then save as/export that document as a straight-paged PDF. now go to the bookbinder JS tool (https://momijizukamori.github.io/bookbinder-js/), and upload the PDF. source manipulation: none printer paper size: A4 display unit (you can ignore, or choose cm if it gives you anxiety that it automatically displays points) printer type: select single-sided or duplex accordingly* rotate paper: ignore flip on long side: check if you are printing duplex and if your duplex printer flips the paper on the long side page layout:  tick folio page scaling: original page positioning: centered ignore the rest flyfleaf: ignore signature format tick: standard signatures. in the length drop down, this depends on the type of pamphlet you are doing. for folio i generally find 4-5 pages per signature a comfortable thickness. if you have 6 whole A4 pages you can still do that as a single signature or you can split it into two signatures 3 pages each. wacky small layouts: ignore this signature info click the generate preview button to see what your PDF looks like imposed! I love this step especially when I'm doing quarto (A6) or octavo (A7) sized books generate output - click this to generate an imposed PDF

for A6 and A7 sized books the instructions are much the same, except for these you make sure the page size is A6 or A7 in your software, and then you choose quarto or octavo instead of folio. for signature length drop down I keep signature length to 1 for octavos typically and 2 for quartos, as this still refers to sheets of paper, and for octavo 1 sheet of A4 paper will turn into 4 smaller sheets in one signature once folded and cut.

*if you don't have a duplex printer you will have to manually turn the paper to print on the other side. I cannot be arsed with this so I bought a printer capable of duplex printing (I didn't have a printer anyway). if you already have a printer check what it can do as you might be surprised and go from there.

now to the pamphlets! you don't need a cover - I have one for the long stitch pamphlet but for the saddle stitch one I didn't bother and just made sure the first page had a title on it. you can always take a different piece of paper and print a cover on or or just use coloured cardstock and create a simple cover, but a cover is not necessary unless you're doing a long stitch pamphlet. all you need to do is to punch holes and start sewing. there are a few different stitch types below, I wouldn't say any of them are more difficult or easier than others, but they do look different so...pick one you like the look of and go from there?

pamphlet stitch (uneven number of holes) I haven't ever done a pamphlet stitch but here's a tutorial for how to do it: https://www.starpointestudio.com/simple-pamphlet-stitch-book-step-by-step/

saddle stitch (uneven number of holes) I realised that what I was thinking of as a pamphlet stitch is actually saddle stitch, as in this A7 pamphlet:

here's a tutorial for how to sew saddle stitch: https://www.bookbindingworkshopsg.com/saddle-stitch-bookbinding-tutorial/ here's a video tutorial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWHkY5jOoqM (sealemon has a lot of bookbinding tutorials and I know many people who like her videos, I used her tutorial for coptic binding way back when I first made a book but I can't otherwise vouch for the quality as I haven't used her videos)

french link stitch (even number of holes) in this one I used french link stitch which I typically use for thicker textblocks that i'm not planning to use tapes with as the french link gives it some robustness, I used it here because I had never done it before and wanted to try it out. I am planning to take these stitches out and re-sew this pamphlet with a cover now that I've found a suitable piece of transformer fanart to use as a cover:

french link tutorial. it's quite long but it has a colour coded bit towards the end that shows how the thread is supposed to link which i find very helpful to visualise: https://www.handmadebooksandjournals.com/bindings/french-link-stitch-binding/

here's a video tutoral from DAS bookbinding (he is my go to for techniques and he has the most soothing Australian accent as well, though fair warning not all of his videos are for beginners): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4ZPdbaM-Ws

long stitch (even number of holes) for this one I used long stitch and I had a cover. this one is my favourite variation because I can make these pretty and simple covers and the stitch looks nice on the outside as well, so this one scratches the 'i want to make a book' itch for me.

here's a tutorial that also includes a how to on a cover that is different from my cover: https://lccprintmaking.myblog.arts.ac.uk/files/2020/06/Long-Stitch-Tutorial-A4.pdf DAS also has a video tutorial for long stitch but it's like three videos long, maybe watch it later :'D  here's one I haven't watched but seems decent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnignTL_wDQ

you can use saddle stitch for this kind of pamphlet as well, that's what I did for dozens of ships and hundreds of souls (https://ashmouthbooks.tumblr.com/post/681587080267202560).

I hope this helped!!

#bookbinding #fanbinding

[underoospeterparker]

hii hru?? ik u have a lot of requests but i was wondering if i could request a 🫶 with tasm!peter parker where gn!reader gets rly stressed and eventually it gets to the point where their hands are shaky all the time, and peter expresses concern & reminds them to take their anxiety meds🙃 sorry if ur not comfortable w writing the last part,, but yeah js peter hurt/comfort!! i love ur writing & hope ur having a great week!

hi sweetheart! i wrote something similar to this but I'm gonna write another one, kind of like a part 2 if you'd like that :)

part one, two

"Honey?" Peter's voice snapped you out of whatever it was you had just been thinking about, and you turned to him with a dazed expression on your face. You blinked, and your vision finally turned clear. The space between his eyebrows was creased, a concerned frown already on his face. "Are you okay?"

You tried your best to attempt a smile, but it was small and fake, and it didn't placate your boyfriend's worries. "Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

His frown lines became deeper, if that was even possible. "Your hands are shaking, sweetheart."

You looked down, and sure enough, Peter was right. He took your hands in his, squeezing them in his large, warm palms. "Did you take your meds today?"

The blank look on your face answered his question, and he got up from the sofa. You let go of his hands and they resumed their shaking, Peter's gaze not moving from them as he walked over to the kitchen to get you a glass of water.

He took his place next to you again, placing the cup on the coffee table before reaching out for the tablets wrapped in foil. "I know it's hard to remember, honey, but you have to take them," he said, voice demanding but still soft, because he could never find it in himself to yell at you.

He handed you the tablet, and lifted the glass to your mouth as you swallowed it, knowing water would have spilled if you'd done it yourself. "There we go, good job," he murmured, once you'd downed the entire glass, clearly thirsty since you hadn't drank anything since the morning.

"I'm sorry," you apologised, leaning into him as he opened his arms for you to cuddle.

He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, wrapping himself around your slightly smaller frame. He reached for your hands, still shaking but only in the slightest, something only he would have noticed. "There's nothing to be sorry about." His voice soothed you, even more than the medicine. "It must be tiring," he added, "to have to be worrying all the time."

You felt understood, more so than you'd ever felt. "So tiring," you agreed, head tucked in his chest. His heart broke and then healed, just a little, as you shuffled in closer to him.

"I know," he cooed, "you're okay now. Promise."

#peter parker #comfort #fluff #drabble #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker fic #peter parker x you #gn!reader #tasm peter x you #tasm fic #tasm peter x reader #tasm peter parker #300 celebration #300 followers #follower milestone

[mishi-with-jazz]

i saw you are accepting requests for moonwater x reader! id prefer female!reader but obviously if you dont do that gender neutral!reader is just as perfect.

i was thinking like a hurt/comfort thing where the three are just lounging in remus’s dorm and reader starts getting anxious and they like calm her down/talk her through it?

obviously, if you dont like it or just dont want to write it you dont have to!

thank you for the request!! I hope you like it, its short but I tried my best<33

Anxiety winds/ Under the weather

poly moonwater x reader!

Summary: The readers being traumatised by some conditions that killed her loved ones.

Warnings: none really, js a whole lotta fluff.

NOT PROOF READ.

y/c/f :you comfort food.

note its a one-shot but with a Prolouge.

PROLOUGE

After finally graduating from hogwarts, you moved into your boyfriend's apartment. The three of you really needed to get put pf your houses. Regulus's being walburga-affected, Remus's horrid-memories affected and yours- well, you didn't really have a house, you lived in an orphanage, your parents had kicked the bucket in a car crash,while you were at your aunts house, your parents were coming from their respective jobs, It was a stromy, windy day and so the car had lost control. Your aunt really disliked you since you were magical (she was a muggle), so she threw you in an orphanage.

So now you were here. With your boyfriends in a cosy little apartment. They were both on job. You hadn't gone to yours since you were a little under the weather. But the thing was today was your parents' death day. The day when your parents died. But what was even worse was that it was extremely windy today. And you were home alone.

The windows snapped yet again. Your heart beating ever so quickly. You had tried everything, yet you still couldn't feel comfort, wrapped up in the regulus's blanket and with y/c/f. It had been 4 hrs already, and you were scared out of your skin. You looked at the clock. They should have been home by now. You tried not to think about the worst, but you just could not stop. Finally, you brought yourself to call them, but just as you feared, they didn't pick. Neither of them. You wanted scream, shout, cry, but your throat had become too dry. You just froze on the spot, not moving, tears fleeting out of your eyes. A few minutes later, you felt the need to get up, but as soon as you got out of bed, you fell down. You felt useless. You lost your parents. You lost them. And it was best to just leave it. Forget it. You sat on the floor crying.

You woke up with your head in regulus's lap. While remus cold compressed you forehead.

They didn't realise you were awake as they talked to each other in low tones until you jerked up.

YOUR OKAY. OH THANK GOD. I WAS SO WOR- You continued but no ine could really understand as most of it was muffled by your sobbing.

Shhh...its okay baby, we are here now. Remus said as he placed you on your lap. A scarred hand running comfortable rounds on your back.

Why d-did you gu-uyzs n-not pick my phone?? You wanted to sound angry but you were crying a little too much for that.

I told you my magical box thingy is not working, princess. Regulus explained

And apparently mine had died. Remus added.

Sorry we couldn't contact you. We know it was a hard day for you. Regulus said who was on his own verge of tears.

Its okay. You sobbed. Can w-we just sleep?

Of course, baby. Remus placed you on the bed and laid next to you. And so did regulus.

Tho the window was still snapping, but you still fell asleep, not because you felt safe but because you knew the people you loved were safe.

A/n: I hope yall like it. It's def not the best since I'm writing on my phone, and I really just wanted to get done. Also, send in any requests I will 'get em' done, i write for almost all Harry Potter!

Also tell me if yall wanna be tagged in vibrations or chaos, they will be coming out soon

#marauders #marauders era #regulus black #remus lupin #the marauders #moonwater #poly moonwater #moonwater x reader #Poly moonwater x reader

[xpc-web-dev]

I was accepted in the first phase of the outreachy internship.

(06/03/2023)

Hello everybody.

I was accepted in the first phase of outreachy and now we are going to start the phase of contributions in open source projects.

I already thought about not doing it because my skills weren't the necessary level and that the contribution in the project I wanted (that's why I was studying ruby) and the organization of the project left me confused.

BUT today I decided to try a lot more for experience and learning than actually getting accepted (this helps me regulate my anxiety)

So I'm going to help with a project with documentation and research, and I'm going to share with you everything I'm going to learn during this period. And who knows how to encourage one of you to participate in the next round?

I went back to plan b (js+mysql +html+css and php) and I will study one skill at a time along with studying and contributing to the project.

Y ' all still see me learning ruby? Maybe, but it's not a priority anymore as I've given up on the open source project I wanted to be a part of.

And about not posting in the week, it hasn't been an easy week for me. BUT in the future I will write about the problems I went through and now I want to focus on other things.

Well, how are you? I hope you are well.

Drink water, take care of your mental health, don't let anyone make you feel inferior whether it's family, friends or strangers and study to achieve your dreams!!!

#computerscience #comp sci #code #100daysofcode #open source #intership #woman in stem #womanintech #study blog #studyspiration

[dylynniscoding]

I Made a Spell Search for DnD 5e

The time has come. The first big project for class. It was daunting. It seemed so far out of my abilities I thought to myself "What am I going to do? How can I do this? Am I even capable?" The project criteria were to create an app using HTML, CSS, and JS that accesses data from a public API while running on a single page and has three distinct event listeners. Racking my brain for some kind of project I could make, I scoured a list of APIs that I could potentially use hoping the idea would come to me. Scrolling through the enormous list I started to lose a little hope. How could I even get this to work anyway? None of these are jumping out at me as my idea of exciting or fun. Until I found an API that was simply a list of all the spells in Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition. Being the nerd that I am, an idea sprang forth in my mind like a star bursting into existence. "What if I made an app that searches the spells?" Brilliant. Not original but hey that's not the point. It was *my* brilliance. After coming up with the idea it was time to start plotting out the basic ideas for the app. What would it fundamentally do? Now I'm pretty practical and methodical when it comes to coding. So I did the first thing I thought would make sense, write comments for every single thing the app is supposed to do! Things like "// Fetch data from API", " // Convert data to JSON", "// Store the results in spellArray" You get the idea. I even broke up the sections of the functionality with comments you'll see below like "//spell search" And to clarify I will be primarily talking about the javascript here as it is the main focus of this phase of the class.

After this, it was only a matter of writing the code for each bit of comment that made everything work. This is a gross oversimplification of course as it was about 95% of the task. But I digress.

And it worked! Against my own initial anxieties and doubts, I had a working searchable spell list! You can bet I was very ecstatic about this development. But of course, that was only one of the three event listeners I needed to satisfy the criteria. So I thought, "Okay so what can I do now?" and then it hit me again, another star created in the universe of my brain. Why not add a random spell button? Random things are fun and I could use a keyboard press event listener! So I did just that.

And again, another working piece of code. "Maybe I can do this after all.", I thought to myself. Two out of three down. The last one I will admit I got the idea from the instructions for adding a light and dark mode.

Okay done. It worked too. Only it wasn't exactly obvious that the light/dark mode button could be clicked. So I added a pointer.

And with that, I had four. But I wasn't satisfied there. I noticed something in my code. I had a redundancy for the API call. It was unnecessarily calling the API every time the spell was searched even if it was searched previously. So for example, if you searched "Fireball" you would get the results for Fireball from the API in a div. But if you were to search Fireball a second time, it would call the API again despite already having the data. I didn't like this. It's not like it was slow by any means but it would be just a little bit *faster* and more *streamlined*. Plus it cleaned the code up a bit. So I began by making a place for the spells to go locally:

Then, I had it check if the spell details had the spell or not, if not, it would make a call to the API:

If it did, then it would pull from the locally stored spell details instead.

And in order for this all to work I needed to create a function that searched for the spells.

Finally, I had it. The fastest (I think) possible DnD spell searcher I could make. And I thought back to how I felt before when I thought I couldn't do this and I was pretty happy about it.

You can see the finished product here and of course the GitHub link here.

#coding #programmer #developer #software engineering #coding projects #girls who code #software development #software developers #javascript #html #css #frontend #code #API

[thehardkandy]

Despite yesterday's general anxiety, today's work was a pretty chill day.

I wrote the initial draft of the readme for the work repo that (hopefully) will end up being helpful to coworker/anyone to come.

From that point, I also wrote two and tentatively think I'll make a third a bit more down the line. They are intended to (hopefully) take user error out of the equation when setting up new staging sites and make it super painless. They haven't been tested in action, but I was able to test some of the non-git elements to confirm they work, and the git stuff is largely already confirmed to be working since it's based on the initial instructions I wrote to use w/o a script

Lastly, I dug more into fixing some glaring issues with the JS. Variables are actually getting communicated to the JS from the PHP on load instead relying on the existence of arbitrary classes on html elements and I also put some basic data protection in place, so far as js lets you. There is still a long, long way to go on this front, but at least when it's super clear what we're trying to do, it will be much, much, muchhhhh easier to say "oh we call do all that by just doing x, or combine it with y"

This is letting me actually chop the one biggggg file into comprehensible semantic bits, and I also finally stopped it from trying to run on every single page lmao

now! i'm going to try and peak ahead at the topics for class tonight since that starts in forty minutes as well as ingest a snack so i dont pass out before 9

[psvr]

this js a vent post idk how to add a read more so just ignore this

every single day i'm putting myself through hell to pay off the medical dept from my last suicide attempt and this fucking job makes me want to do it again sooo bad but i also need to keep working because my dad needs my money and like i just genuinely cannot function rn why am i tryingggg i just want to be unemployed again my job like just makes me so suicidal and it takes two fucking hours to get here its just not fucking worth it in any way i was already at a like extremely low point and thats why i took two days off this week + i was sick literally just from depression and anxiety and like ugh i just dont know what the fucking point of this job is obviously i won't kill myself bc i payed a bunch of money to go to nyc but hhhhhh i just need a new job

#vent #dont rb

[imogenlefay]

sorting out my books Marie Kondo style, and the last one in my hands is the one my former english teacher wrote, with an autograph, and the message that he’s waiting for my debut novel. from 10 years ago. like damn, stop putting pressure on me

#about me #writing #also cleaning #look at me finishing a whole step in one day only #tomorrow i start with paperwork #js i'm getting anxiety already #konmari #marie kondo

[honeybee-babe]

Dialogue prompts 2 for Luther pls!! "Don't leave me" "Please stay" "I'm lonely" And number ~53, the one where Luther would be saying sorry for being sick and then being delirious bc of the fever. Thanks!!

Hey babe! Finally cracking down on these! As per our agreement, I’ll do separate fics for all of them. This one ended up WAY too long and the other ones will be way shorter, I promise. I felt like I had to explain all my headcanons which is a big part of that. Now that they’re listed here I won’t need to explain them again in later fics lol.~

ALSO: This fic is a sequel to the Lunya hug fic I wrote last week, so I would recommend reading that first. It’s really short.

I couldn’t really remember how the saying sorry one is supposed to go (I can’t find the prompt list cause it’s buried on my blog) so this might technically count for that, but I’m not sure.

Anyway here is a WAY TOO LONG response for “Please Stay.”

~

Vanya was worried about Luther. The day after he told her his news, he skipped out on dinner for the first time in a month. Klaus reassured everyone not to worry, Luther was probably just having a rough day and wanted to isolate himself (still a coping mechanism for ). Klaus had met a lot of people with eating disorders during his various stints in rehab over the years.

But when Luther didn’t come down for dinner the next night either, suddenly Klaus’ argument switched to the “relapses are normal” argument, and Vanya felt the panic hat had dissipated two nights earlier come back full force in her chest. She went to bed worried about Luther.

But when she woke up sweltering just an hours later, her was the farthest thing from her mind.

Fever was the word that flashed through her mind as she kicked the blankets off her body and changed out of her sweatpants into a tank-top and shorts, stumbling blindly into the bathroom, still rubbing sleep out of her eyes. She wondered how she’d missed the signs. She’d always been pretty in touch with her body, and this didn’t make any sense.

She’d been a little sick two days earlier, but it was just your standard cold: a stopped nose, a bit of sneezing. By the time dinner rolled around, she’d felt completely fine. She didn’t even tell her siblings about the illness. She preferred to stay out of their hair when she was sick, and besides, it was just a little cold.

Or, so she’d thought. But now she was standing in the bathroom with the thermometer under her tongue, hoping she didn’t have a fever more for the sake of not having to tell her siblings to stay away from her than for the sake of her own health.

When it beeped, her brows raised at the perfect 98.6°F displayed before her. Huh. That made no sense. She was wearing a tanktop and shorts and still sweating. And it was the middle of the night, in October. There was no way it was this hot in the house. Unless…

Shaking her head, she stumbled back into the hallway, and checked the thermostat.

“What the fuck?” she mumbled to herself. Who the hell had set the thermostat to 78°F? WIth a little huff she turned it back down to the 70°F she was used to; the way dad used to keep it, anyway.

Her first thought was Klaus – he always felt cold to the touch anyway, he probably felt cold, too. She’d text him in the morning, reminding him of the existence of blankets. For now, she’d go back to her room, and wait for it to cool down a bit so she could fall back asleep. But she was stopped in her tracks by a sound from down the hall.

“Huh’KSCH-NXGTchiew! HIhhh…Hh’NXXT! HhrrENXGT-chu!”

Vanya flinched, and then immediately frowned. The tired, congested-sounding sneezes came from Luther’s room, but that wasn’t the way he usually sneezed. That was the way he sneezed when he’d already been sneezing for a while and didn’t have the energy to hold his violent explosions back anymore. And instead of his normal two, it had been four.

Shit.

Vanya had only even thought about Luther’s sneezing so much because she’d heard him sneeze about a thousand times in the past seven months. Luther had been sick five times in that time, and two of those five times, he’d ended up in the infirmary with a high fever. The last time Luther was sick, Five hadcome to the conclusion that he was immunocompromised from isolation on the moon for so long. Isolation at the hands of their father. The same thing he’d put Vanya through all her life. Hearing that made her feel sick herself.

She’d felt oddly protective of him ever since. She’d always viewed him as strong and stoic, never putting his feelings into perspective. Never been able to think of him as fragile. Now she felt like he might break.

And as she walked down the hallway to his room, stopping on the way to grab and disinfect the thermometer, she cursed himself for not thinking to warn him about her cold. And for automatically assuming he had only missed dinner because he was relapsing. She needed to put more faith in him, he really was trying.

“Luther?” she called out softly when she reached his door, knocking gently.

“Come in,” came a hoarse voice from inside.

She pushed open the door tentatively, face falling when she saw the sight before her.

“Oh, Luther…” He was buried under his comforter, curled up in a ball, and barely fitting on his bed. A giant human burrito, only his head stuck out of the blankets. A thin sheen of sweat coated his flushed face. “You look awful.”

“ ‘m okay,” he mumbled, voice gravelly and barely there.  “Dn’ worry about me.”

“Did you turn the thermostat up to 78 degrees?” Her tone was a bit more accusatory than she’d intended.

“Yeah, cause it’s freezing,” Luther mumbled, hugging his blankets tighter around his shoulders. He shivered violently underneath the covers as if to prove his point.

“No, Luther, it’s really not.” Vanya sat on the end of his bed. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Js’ tired.” He punctuated the sentence with a wheezy cough, the beginnings of something wet rattling in his chest.

“Yeah, right.” She gently reached out a hand to feel his forehead, which was unsurprisingly burning. He shivered profusely when she touched him, but didn’t make an effort to move. That was not a good sign. “How long have you been feeling shitty?”

Luther’s shoulders shrugged under the blankets, making the whole burrito move.

Vanya reached for the thermometer. “I think you just have a fever. Will you let me check?”

“No, I don’t. ‘M okay, don’t worry.” Nonetheless, he made no move to stop Vanya from putting the thermometer in his mouth, nor did he try to stop her from reading the results.

“103.1. Jesus, Luther. Why didn’t you-” she cut her rant off when she saw how miserably he was, looking up at her with those big, sad blue eyes. She brushed back the sweaty hair clinging to his forehead. How was his hair even long enough to do that? 

“You should have said something sooner, Spacey.”

Luther just looked down at his blankets. “I didn’t want to worry you.”

Vanya sighed and stroked his cheek gently. “Well now I’m even more worried!”

Luther turned his head away from Vanya’s touch and buried his face into his pillow. “I’m sorry.”

Vanya bit down on her lip when she heard him sniffle. “Luther?” When his breath started to hitch, she put a hand on his shoulder. “C’mon, Lulu, don’t cry-”

“Hh’GNKtchiew! Hahh-nXXGT! Hihhh! Hih… hih!”

Oh.

Vanya couldn’t help but giggle, so loud she didn’t even notice the third budding buildup. 

“Bless you. I thought you were-”

“Hh’kTSCHIEW!-ugh, sorry…”

Vanya brought her hand to her chest. “Goodness, bless you! Nearly gave me a heart attack!”

Luther finally turned his head back around and blinked tiredly at her, flashing her a sheepish little smile. His nose was running like a faucet. She reached for the tissues on his nightstand and dabbed at his upper lip.

“Thanks,” he muttered, and wheezed, which quickly dissolved into a coughing fit.

Vanya pat him on the back until it was over. “You poor thing,” she cooed. He really did look pretty run down. “Let’s get some medicine in you.” 

She got up to leave, when she felt a hand on her wrist, pulling her back Even sick, Luther could easily restrain her. It was a feeling that still struck panic in her heart, even after all these months. She turned back to look at him, eyes alert. “What?”

Luther was giving her those big sad blue eyes again. His grip on her immediately slackened.

“Please stay.”

Vanya softened again, all her anxiety fading into tenderness as she bent down so she could be at eye level with him.

“I’m not going anywhere, Lu.” She brushed his hair back from his forehead again. “I’m just gonna get some things for you, and then I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Promise?”

She booped him on the nose. “I promise.”

Luther scrunched up his nose and buried his face into his blankets, cupping them over his mouth with his hands. “Hhh’GNK-Nn’XXT!” Vanya giggled at his reaction, and even more so at the little glare he shot her when he finally lowered the blankets, snot dribbling down his chin now. She wordlessly wiped at it again.

“Okay,” Luther mumbled with a thick sniffle after a moment’s repose. “But be quick.”

Vanya pulled an extra two blankets up to his chin before she quietly slipped out of the room.

When she returned, he was already half-asleep, just barely coherent enough to accept the medicine before he opened up his arms for his little sister to climb into.

Uncomfortable as she felt surrounded by the heat that was radiating from Luther’s body, Vanya felt satisfied when she felt his arms stop shaking around her frame, relaxing into the sleep he so desperately needed.

She waited for the sound of his congested snoring to be sure he was really asleep. Then she slid easily out of his arms and out the door, making sure to ruffle his hair once for good measure and pull the blankets up to his chin one last time before leaving him for the night.

#lunya #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #luther snz #umbrella academy #luther whump #sick luther #umbrella academy fanfiction #tua fanfic #tua #snz

[ibringyouthegoodnews]

Pt. 2

Because my older sisters nc and js grew up covering for my mom none of my aunt's knew it was a problem until my mom got in a car accident with nc, because she was drunk driving. The doctor told my dad my mom already had terrible damage to her body due to binge drinking so much, and up until this point my dad had no idea that my mom was an alcoholic. I was anywhere from the age of 2-4 when that happened.

I didn't learn that my mom was an alcoholic till I was in forth grade. That is when all my aunt's found out that she was drinking till she passed out and completely neglecting her duties as a parent and a caretaker to my dad. I was pretty much left in the dark during this time period because I was really young and my family imediate family has a problem with excepting that there is a problem and we can't just pretend that everything is normal once my mom tells us that she's going back to AA. I'm really not sure how my older sister gcs (who is 5 years older than me) and I did not get taken away when I was younger and I probably should have. I Never reached out for help because my whole life I have been manipulated into thinking that everything would be better after we found out my mom was drinking and she goes back to Aa, and that I can't talk to anyone about it because I'll get taken away and that'll be worse than living with an alcoholic mother and a brain injured dad. My mom would buy me things because she felt guilty and tell me it wasn't a bribe even though that's all it ever was.

It wasnt till Saturday that I found out that this has been going on my whole life. That my mom never really stopped drinking, that she would lie, manipulate, and cause a war zone of a house to protect her precious alcohol because she has a serious disease that has consumed her completely. It wasn't till Saturday that I knew that just a couple more binges and she could bleed out because her body is so unrepairable at this point, and that she doesn't care because she is so consumed by the disease.

It wasn't till that day that I realized that my mom was an alcoholic before all the bad things in my life, that I thought were the root of all the problems in my life, were not actually why my mom drinks. That was only a cover up for the disease she actually has. A way that I would pity her because once I feel bad and she can fool me into thinking she's getting help so she can go back to drinking.

Everything finally became clear. Everything. The abuse, the hurt, the suffering, the anxiety, and the depression. All spawned from the alcoholism.

#hope #gods light #gods love #gods plan #children of alcoholics #alcohlism #pt 2 #prayers encouraged #prayers needed #prayers welcome #prayer