#jokes should be funny for everyone

[trans-cuchulainn]

also the english are weird about folk culture. we are. we've relegated our folk dances and music to the zone of esoteric nerd shit that only weirdos do, and then we go looking for esoterica in the non-english parts of our heritage because we don't think we've got any of it of our own

#i'm not saying everyone who wants to do family history research should have to do compulsory morris dancing classes first #but like. it probably wouldn't make things worse. and it would be funny #for legal reasons this is a joke.

[bruhstation]

man who enjoys every single second he's dedicated to hating to the point it pisses everyone except him off

#thomas the tank engine #thomas and friends #ttte hiro #ttte spencer #ttte gordon #casa tidmouth #senjart #as put by edwards-exploit: #''hater spencer is so funny he tried to kill hiro and for what. ofc dead family jokes is on the table for him'' #hes literally in that grindset. hating everyone while still maintaining his status as the specialest most priveleged guy on sodor #it's a living to him #bringing back the headcanon that spencer attends his cousins' funerals only to gorge himself with the food there. truly a genius. #I love him so much. he should get worse because it's so entertaining. how did he end up like this #thinking about the hero of the rails arc of casa tidmouth and grimaced #okay last art post before I post the 1000 milestone poll tomorrow. TRUST

[my-name-is-apollo]

Broke: solar eclipse is Artemis yelling at Apollo in front of the whole world for doing something stupid

Woke: solar eclipse is Artemis T-posing in front of Apollo to assert dominance

#Apollo #Artemis #please tell me I'm not the only who doesn't find the first joke as funny #like first of all #Apollo is the smart twin #and we know what happened the last time Artemis yelled at him in front of everyone #(Hera beat the shit out of her) #second of all #one of the wishes she asks from Zeus is that she should have just as many titles as Apollo #asserting dominance since they were kids lmao #shitpost #mine #the twins

[thelockedtombsexywoman]

#reading this part of the book for this and oh my god it’s so funny #everyone being so mean to Harrow about her terrible soup #augustine joking about how she should confess if she accidentally chopped part of her body off and got it in the food #‘let me give you a list of my favourite foods so you can get them interestingly wrong’ #the fact that line seems to be genuine. man’s so bored of his favourite food he wants it cooked badly just for some variety

[oceanwithouthermoon]

remember how when saiki was crushing on satou and wanted to talk to him, instead of yk.. actually talking to him, he found out all of his interests and displayed his own interest in those things in front of him to try to get him to notice him??

yeah, now imagine him doing that when he has a crush on anyone else..

hes such a silly and awkward teenage boy i love it, like buddy you CAN just talk to your crush, you dont have to try to get him to "notice you.." but hes too silly and awkward so thats like the most he would ever do and would still probably think that that counts as flirting

im just... wondering about how saikis terrible silly flirting tactics would translate if his crush was on one of his FRIENDS.. like someone he could actually be around and would see and talk to him.. would he just like be trying to impress them ?? moving toward them more ?? adopting more of their mannerisms and interests maybe ??

imagine that like EVERYONE in the group would notice it, but it wouldn't be like "omg saiki is flirting" it would be more like "omg why is saiki being extra awkward and talking more" because hes so painfully unclear about his intentions but hes usually so quiet and unassuming that this would be such a stark contrast to his usual behavior...

#hey buddy maybe you should just idk maybe TALK TO UR CRUSH #saiki k #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #tagging ships this would work with #kubosai #<-obviously my favorite so this is what i was thinking the whole time #that would be so cute everyone shut up #but he would prob accidentally end up for real flirting with kubo since hes trying to pertain to what he likes and he loves romance #saisai #<-i actually also like thid one a LOT for this scenario it would be so silly #saikis god complex accidentally starts manifesting visibly a little more since he's imitating pretentious rich boy #saikai #saikaido #saidou #<-saikis dark reunion jokes accidentally become so frequent he starts saying them out loud by mistake and it's embarrassing as hell #nensai #<-not actually totally sure how this would work in this situation but idk maybe hes more open to having ramen every day #and trying to get over his bug fear omg that would be so funny #imagine him starting with like one bug at a time so he starts with the least scary ones like butterflies and ladybugs #but by the end of it hes prob only a little more okay with things like butterflies+stick bugs+caterpillars cuz they move slow+are easy 2 see #haisai #<-ohohoh haisai he would prob join a club+always be trying to prove to him he takes things seriously #mostly schoolwork but in gym/sports he would always be pretending to enthusiastically participate and break a sweat lol #merasai #<-he takes up baking/cooking as a hobby and is always bringing extra food to school and acting like it was an accident and giving it to her #going to her workplaces and pretending he didnt know/forgot she works there and 'accidentally' ordering an extra portion for her every time #saikechi #<-he already knows a lot about random stuff but he takes an interest in saying his silly facts out loud and sounding like a nerd #meows post

[narwhalandchill]

oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh

so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.

why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.

and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.

so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.

it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.

like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!

and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)

(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)

#man the way its lovely reunion but tjen ajax fucking ATTACKS IT ON SIGHT you couldve gotten married!!!!11!1 fucking unbearable i am in agony #anyway contrary to popular belief we still have no fucking clue whether ajax' link to the narwhal was innate #skirk saying the traces remain on him after meeting it isnt saying tht much. the parts he shares w it couldve well been innate but dormant #instead. also just the fact that he woke it up already shady #then like. monoceros caeli being his from the beginning is completely plausible despite ppl acting like its been confirmed his const change #and like them being halves of the same entity on some lvl would make the narwhal being so weak without him n until ajax found it again #make very much. sense. anyway ajax toxicity jokes aside if the narwhal was just trying to eat him point blank without even a hello #i do get why hed react aggressively. but also bros been telling everyone n their mom hes fighting his narwhal the seconf he finds it again😔 #so i feel somewhat confident in assuming he started that 40+ days brawl #anyway if ajax Isnt the celestial narwhal on some level or possibly becoming it as their link grows. #riddle me this atheists. why is his 3rd phase boss theme. the song about His individual murderous rage at us #bc he thought he was outplayed by us. His personal wrath #whys the song for that called the wrath of the celestial narwhal. of the star swallowing whale. Hmmmge. his individual rage. #why does tusk of monoceros caeli speak of him embracing the narwhals innate qualities as embracing mere parts of Himself #funny how tjat goes!! (the OST n boss drop is not 100% serious theory but it does drive me insane. bc why would they phrase it like that) #anyway either theyre 2 halves same original entity or theyre soulmates idgaf . they should fold teyvat in half and eat it for brunch #aaand im going to be consumed by this realization for the next month wish me luck #WHY DID IT NEED HIM THERE SO BADLY???? HUH?????? #i mean relatable dont we all. but its sooooooooo inch resting. Curious indeed #rambles #genshin #childeposting #childe

[andoutofharm]

can people be normal about other people’s hair for once pls

#:/ #sorry but the jokes about patrick’s hair/him balding are . not funny. you are not funny #and it goes without saying but everyone in the comments who have Anything to say about pete’s should shut up forever too #but the patrick comments are mostly coming from fob fans. and that’s. kinda not great can you PLEASE just. not

[quicktimeeventfull]

okay what rules do you think kira would make up about day to day life? like minor everyday stuff.

(im sorry. i just saw a drawing of light saying 'misa premarital doing the do is a sin in kira's eyes' and im REELING)

ok so honestly i don't think that's a bad interpretation and there is in fact canonical backing for it. i haven't seen that drawing but in principle i don't disagree with it. because you are asking me specifically, though -- i am personally of the opinion that light doesn't have an issue with premarital sex because he is obsessed with convincing people he's having it. like literally any other explanation could have worked here:

my personal feeling is light is more concerned with preventing things that involve people with power abusing their station -- like bullying, for example, or people like demegawa who turn their platform into something grotesque and self-serving. he's a very pragmatic person and i don't think he cares about enforcing arbitrary rules. imo he's kind of going based off vibes rather than actually creating specific laws. sorry i realize this is probably meant to a jokey ask fgjlfghjl but this is something i think about constantly. here's a quote from the (excellent) paper 'the world is rotten': execution and power in death note and the japanese capital punishment system by ashley pearson:

Light never claims to be law, and his claims to being justice hint at an insideous division between the two terms, 'suggesting that justice might be something quite apart from law, something that exists outside the legal system.'

i think this is true, and it is also the reason he's not trying to replace the legal system with a brand-new set of laws; he's trying to get rid of it altogether.

#sorry im kind of humourless about light fgjkgfhjgfh #i hope this was interesting #you should also send this to someone who is capable of jokes though ghjkfghjl there are so many funny people in this fandom #who'll have more humerous answers to this question #the paper is from law and justice in japanese popular culture & everyone should read it #you can find it wherever you find textbooks or like make a request to your library #if they're anywhere in NA they should be able to get it for you

[martyrbat]

batman: the jiro kuwata batmanga #1

[ID: A woman approaching Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson as they attend a showcase for the finest jewels in all of Gotham. The woman ignores Dick as she immediately greets Bruce, “Oh my, Mr. Wayne, I didn't realize you were here.” Bruce turns around in shock and responds, “I'm sorry, do I know you?” She giggles. “No, but I know you. You're the billionaire Bruce Wayne.” The announcer shows off the first jewel, cuing the woman to suggest, “Wow! It's so gorgeous. You should buy it now, Mr. Wayne!”

Bruce mutters, “Oh, you must be joking,” before Dick immediately defends his guardian. “If Bruce bought jewelry for every woman who talked to him, he'd be broke in no time!” He points an accusing finger at her as Bruce smiles slightly. She comments, “Oh, my. This boy certainly has a mouth on him.” Dick angrily retaliates, “Boy? Boy!? Why, you old hag!” She gasps in exasperation! “What?!! Old hag? Well, I never!” Bruce calls them down before either of them has the chance to reciprocate the name-calling, “All right, all right. Both of you settle down.” END ID]

#i know everyone has seen these but dick being introduced as him immediately being protective and defensive on Bruce's behalf #as #autistic bruce wayne #ignores/doesnt catch on to her hints or moves. 'oh you must be joking' at being told he should buy (her) jewelry #is just so funny to me. they wasted no time at all in summarizing their dynamic #c: batman: the jiro kuwata batmanga | i: 1 #crypt's panels #bruce wayne #dick grayson #batmanga #dynamic duo

[amrv-5]

Know it's likely Not That Deep and everyone probably knows this already or something but increasingly troubled by the way that 'joking' in-group homophobic stereotypes feel like they're starting to spread into some people's legitimate conception of what it means to be gay / part of the 'in-group' or community...

#sorry to seriouspost on my 99% fandom blog but starting to get depressed with experiences of online AND IRL queer community #i don't find gay people are unathletic / bad at math / bad at driving / oblivious to flirting etc jokes that funny actually #and i think we should maybe stop perpetuating negative stereotypes about ourselves for the good of everyone #especially when they wrap around into just. reinforcing extant homophobic stereotypes #like we should not think that 'i'm bad at math cause I'm gay haha' is a funny relatable harmless thing to say? #or that gay men don't Do Sports? #or that lesbians are too passive to initiate relationships? #idk just. i'll delete this later but it's starting to feel actively weird and alienating when people say these things #like they're actually just fine or funny or harmless / part of a presupposed group stereotype

[berrysquared]

Idk man I just think if u make a poll you should be objective and keep your opinions to yourself..

#this is abt that cat poll #like ofc everyone has favourites and poll runners have favourites too #but you do not have to be vile like this #you are running a community event if you dont like the outcome you should not put yourself in this position #“it was just supposed to be a joke” my guy i dont think anyone finds jokes like this funny you just look like an asshole

[rustyreveries]

it’s finally the end of a very… interesting year. hopefully 2024 doesn’t suck as bad as it has been for like the past 5 years

sal please roll down your sleeves… your sweater is going to catch on fire!!

i was going to post this at 12 am (EST) but i knew my ass would forget so have it now. happy new year everyone!!

i think one of my new year resolutions is to draw less salad fingers art lmfaoo

i have like 4 or 5 artworks that are non-sf related… maybe check them out if you like my stuff,, i crave feedback. alms for the poor… alms for the poor… <3

i know probably like 99% of you followed for salad fingers but i really wanna do other stuff too. obviously i’m not going to stop drawing sal and his friends, hell no. i’m still super hyperfixated on this guy. i'm definitely going to keep drawing him a bunch. but i wanna (try to) branch out!! y’know.

you don’t have to though idc. do as you please ^^

i definitely want to draw more characters from other fandoms i'm in, i just don't know where to start. it feels weird lol

#salad fingers #i have a feeling this year is going to suck too. mainly because i live in the US and we’re going to have the presidential election #i think i should be president actually. president of the universe #i would fix everything #i would make the international anthem rockefeller street nightcore version #or maybe chocolate rain i’m not sure #OR the hamster dance song #ok that one was a joke but it would be funny #our international animal would be. the creature from the two sentence horror story things #we can milk the creature whenever we please ❤️❤️ #as long as the creature gives us permission ofc #money wouldn’t exist everything is free everyone has a home and food and whatever #see aren’t i so good at this #actually i’d suck so bad at being a leader. i’d be like isabelle from ‘isabelle ruins everything’ #trying to help but messing everything up #and eventually putting everyone in prison #i think i have some issues to work on #anyway. hope those of you who are going to celebrate the new year have fun! #stay safe and take care of yourselves. this applies even after you’re done celebrating #hopefully we survive this new year as well and make it to the next one safely. #i love you all very much! we never talk directly to each other but know that i care so much about each and every one of you #platonically of course #you guys are my confidants! #maybe we’ll be able to get to know each other more this year #that would be very nice! #salad fingers au #my art

[warmspice]

My sister is trying to set me up w her TA.. grad students tell me more about how I can charm u to fall in love w me...

#This is a jokey joke but also very intrigued if ppl have thoughts thanks <333 #Everyone's got ppl falling in love w them maybe I just have tot ake matters into my own hands... Idk #I'm feeling. Lots of feelings and some of them are unpleasant to think abt rn but also maybe I should go to sleep n not think abt it 👍 #Void talks #I think they're in social sciences btw but honestly I just like hearing what makes other ppl's hearts flutter in general... #Love time of the year around the corner.. #Also it's so funny she goes.. 'my ta is GAY' and then winks really badly. And then repeats herself. And then winks again in case #I didn't catch it the first time #I'm like.. Thank u..

[horsegirlhob]

Okay now that I have a few more followers who watch Buffy I need you all to know that for Christmas my roommate made me a version of the "Balls." poster in Riley's room. It's literally my favourite piece of set dressing in the entire world I am so obsessed with it and I am delighted to now have the privilege of owning a version of it.

#dylan says things #btvs #Like. The font. “Balls.” the fucking jpeg images of balls on a flat white background. #the bottom text i didn't know existed until i actually got the gift. #fr though i do think it's an interesting piece of set dressing because it's like. emblematic of Riley as a character just being like “boy” #they were putting together Riley's room and someone was like 'what poster should we have on the wall?' #and everyone realized that Riley had no interests or passions or character of his own #and they were like. 'well he's a boy. boys like... sports ball? and ball joke?' #and then they put this shit together #anyways. also very funny that like the only piece of buffy merch i own (unless you count the dvds) is riley related. #the character i spend the least amount of time thinking about

[finxwrites]

They used to play the game a lot. One of them would say a name, and they wouldn’t ask the question aloud if they were anywhere even slightly public—secrecy was too ingrained in the three of them, and Mike had taken to it quickly enough—but they’d all hear it anyway: if they were a shifter, what animal would they be? They’d toss ideas back and forth, sometimes settling it at once, sometimes arguing for days. It was more fun than it had any right to be, and it hadn't taken Dustin all that long to figure out why: they’d never had anyone to share this with before.

Shifters mostly stuck with their own kind. In a town as small as Hawkins, that meant shifters mostly just had human friends, and politely avoided each other in the grocery store. It was part cultural norm and part instinct—something about being near other shifters made their animal side a little stronger, and animals don’t trust strangers. Especially strangers with sharp teeth. 

Mike had practically had to sit on them to get the three of them to be friends. For the longest time, just being around Lucas had made Dustin want to bolt. Hares and badgers weren’t even natural enemies, but it was enough that they weren’t friends, and that some deep part of Dustin, the part that lived right at the base of his skull, knew that Lucas could maul him with one well-placed strike.

Will hadn’t been so instinctively frightening—no one has anything to fear from a mouse. Where Dustin got jittery around the other two, Will went still and quiet. But Dustin had been as wary of that as he had been of Lucas’s on-edge sharpness. Everyone knew Will’s dad was a rat. Will had taken after his mother, but you never know with mixed shifters, and no one wants to tangle with a cornered rat.

Mike and Will had met on the first day of kindergarten and become instantly inseparable. Lucas had moved into the house next to Mike’s during spring break of first grade, and they’d hit it off almost at once. Mike hadn’t been able to understand why they’d both balked so hard when he tried to get them to play together at recess.

Most people would probably have given up after a few weeks. But Mike was one of the most stubborn people alive when he got an idea in his head. It didn’t get any easier when he and Dustin got close at summer camp, but Mike started second grade with an iron-hard determination that they would all be friends. Whether they liked it or not.

It took a little over a month for him to get all of them in his basement at the same time, very cautiously playing board games. It was another month before the three of them spent more than thirty seconds alone together, and even then it wasn’t voluntarily. Mike’s mom interrupted a game to insist he take a phone call from his grandma right now. Mike went with loud and lengthy protests, but he went, and then Dustin, Lucas, and Will were left staring at each other in suddenly stifling silence.

It was Will who broke it. Will had always been much braver than you’d expect a mouse to be. “If Mike was a shifter,” he said quietly, “what do you think he’d be?”

Lucas barely hesitated a moment. “A donkey.”

Will nodded pensively. Dustin snorted. “Because he’s stubborn as a mule?” he asked, at the same time as Will said, straight-faced, “Because he can be a real ass.”

Dustin and Lucas both lost it. Will grinned, and then joined in the laughter. That was how Mike found them, collapsed on the floor and giggling, drunk on the cut tension.

They weren’t magically friends after that. But for Dustin, at least, that was when it had started to feel possible.

#I crave the joy of Post!!! #stranger things #st grimm au #every 500 words I'm like :( why is there no one I can share this with :( #and I grow disheartened #so instead of growing disheartened I shall Post #and then write on #this fic also continues my accidental quest to give will a really dry sense of humor #I'm not sure I remember a single joke from him in canon #dustin and lucas are more the funny ones in their friend group I think #will is the audience (very important role. no shade here) #but apparently I simply must have deadpan humor in my stories #just can't do without! #and everyone else is too raucous #so will has been assigned this role #this is only the second such joke across two fics so I think I'll be fine wrt getting too ooc #but also maybe I should rewatch the show to get a better feel for his voice #alas! what a hardship this shall be

[grendelsmilf]

okay here’s a genuine question: are all people with red hair and freckles morning people? because i swear, i’ve never seen one at night.

show me a redhead at night!

#girls5eva #vid #every single joke in this show is genius and everyone should watch it #literally just spent the past 2-3 hours catching up on s3 #it’s soooo fucking funny