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#jokes aside i do not see it u_u
worstghost · 1 year
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When they have feelings for you (f!reader, sorry guys u_u)
(Soap, Ghost, König, Alejandro)
Soap
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♡He would try to ignore it, push it away as long as he could. You two were teammates, partners in crime, best friends even. He knows there's nothing more that a woman hates than thinking she had a friend only to find out they had unrequited feelings.
♡Soap would do everything he could to pretend, make sure you're not uncomfortable. You would continue as normal, joking and drinking together on your time off, sparring as you usually do. You would accuse him of taking it easy on you, and he'd defend himself, swearing up and down that you two are simply matched in strength. He couldn't even fathom the thought of actually hurting you.
♡He's so lovesick it hurts, it seems that everyone notices except you. It all comes to a head one night at the base, it's your turn to cook dinner for the team.
You bustle around the kitchen, hair pulled back out of your face, three different pots on the stove. He notices the slight sheen of sweat across your brow, the way you bite your lip in anticipation, 'this is taking so long to boil', you're frustrated. You throw the oven mitts on to the counter and move back to chopping onions.
His heart is beating so fast he's sure you can hear it. It's so sickenly sweet, so fucking domestic. He fools himself for a moment, imagining that you're his wife, in his home, cooking him dinner. You'd have him test the sauce to make sure it's sweet enough, he'd wrap his arms around your waist and assure you everything looks beautiful and you're doing amazing and fuck-
He's so in love with you. He doesn't know how to hide it anymore, not when you look over the counter to him and stick your tongue out teasingly. He's fucked.
Ghost
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♡You would have thought he detested you, truthfully. He doesn't speak, rarely makes eye contact. He's rough with his commands, and he always expects the most from you. You figure it's because you're new, your Lieutenant is simply testing you, making you prove yourself. You swear you had proven yourself already though.
♡The team assures you he doesn't dislike any of you, he's hard on all of them. It's in his nature. He knows what they're capable of and won't accept anything less. You believe that he can't see what you're capable of, that he doesn't trust you enough.
♡It turns into an argument one day, when you two are alone in a hallway on base. He had pulled you aside to berate you about a mistake you'd made this past mission.
He had you cornered in the cramped hall, looming over you. "Explain to me what you were thinking back there." It wasn't any sort of question, it was a command.
Oh great, nows the time he wants to make eye contact.
"I don't think you made the right call." You muttered, turning your head away.
Ghost leaned in closer and asked you to repeat yourself. He valued honesty, but he couldn't let this go. You had disobeyed him, rushed a building he told you to stay out of. Although the mission was successful, he couldn't lose control of his team.
"I don't think you made the right call!" You raised your voice, stepping closer to him. You held searing eye contact, encouraged by the vague shock on his limited expression. "I had it, I knew what I was doing. You want me to trust you, then trust me!"
Ghost sucked in a breath, standing up straight. He valued honesty, but he loved self assurance. You were confident in your decision and it struck something in him. It wasn't losing control of his team, it was trusting them.
It was trusting you.
Alejandro
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♡He loved your attitude, cold, blunt, sarcastic. You were always entertaining to talk to, even when you were snapping at him. He loved to tease you, to push your buttons. It was a little game between you to see who could be the most frustrating.
♡Banter, teasing, talking over one another. You two worked together seamlessly, always quick and efficient. But that's all it was, work.
♡Until you have downtime between jobs, you and 141 travel with him across the little villages between your temporary bases. You bother him to stop so you can eat something, he huffs and pulls across from a fruit stand.
You hop out after asking the boys if they had wanted anything, and approach the older man selling what you can only guess is food he's grown himself. You greet him and begin picking through.
You can see over the stand two children peeking up at you, giggling. Smiling wide, you ask them if they helped their papa work.
Alejandro watches from the window intently. This is a new side to you, he'd never seen you smile so much. His heart leaps when you kneel down, presumably having the children approve what you're buying.
The terrible thought of you being a mother seeps into his mind, his heart skips a beat. What would you look like every day, in your civilian clothes, possibly glowing with pregnancy. He's almost embarrassed to be thinking this about you.
Something he wants but could never have. He wonders if you ever wanted the same thing.
König
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♡He's completely obsessed with you. Will watch you from a distance but look away the second you glance at him. He notices the small things, the way you lick your lips before you start speaking, the tapping of your fingers on your thigh.
♡He feels silly to call it a crush, but that's truly it. He's barely spoken to you but he's so enamored. Once after a mission you pat his back and mutter 'Did good, big guy' and he almost faints.
♡Loves when you do actually talk, how you have to angle your neck to look up at him. Once he swears he sees you blush when he responds and he rides that high for a week. The thought that you could possibly reciprocate makes his heart soar.
♡And you do, and he doesn't know until you try to ask him out.
You and König are the last on base, neither of you bothering to travel home between missions. If you didn't know any better it would seem as if he was avoiding you. You try not to let it hurt your feelings.
When you finally find him in the little kitchen, crouched down and digging through the fridge, you clear your throat in an attempt to not scare him.
It doesn't work. He jumps, knocking the shelf out completely, sending containers of leftover food tumbling out.
"Fuck, König, I'm sorry!" You apologize profusely, meeting him on the ground to pick it up. "I was trying to make noise so I didn't surprise you."
He swallows at the sound of you saying his name, and shrugs it off, putting everything back where it was.
Now you're embarrassed, and asking him to go out with you sounds silly. You stand awkwardly, looking up at him, trying to force the words out of your mouth. Finally-
"Would you, if you're not busy of course, care to go out and have a drink with me?" You chew on your lip anxiously, struggling to keep eye contact.
König hesitates and tilts his head. "I don't drink."
Fuck of course. Now you look insensitive.
"O-oh. Right of course. Sorry for asking." That must be his kind way of turning you down.
Before you can turn and walk away completely, König surprises the both of you by speaking.
"But I'll cook, if you'd like. I don't much care for going out."
You try to hide your grin, relief washing over you. "I'd really like that."
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luvrbug · 1 year
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Hello, can I request a headconnon of the straw hat reacting to you dating the monster trio. If you can do poly that would be great. Thank you. Have a wonderful day.
hi! i don't write poly, but i can do these separately! I'm not super confident in my ability to write poly relationships u_u... also didnt include jinbe!! idk how to write him that well and i didnt want to fuck up his part
«─────────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ───────────»
Luffy
▸ Nami and Usopp are in shock. Luffy? Blunt, completely romance aloof Luffy romantically involved with someone?? Someone like you??? Nami is really interested to see how much someone paid you for this...
▸ Zoro is indifferent, honestly. Good that you two are like, idk, smacking faces and doing all that mushy couple stuff. He's happy but isn't really that invested or suprised.
▸ Sanji is absolutely devastated if you're a woman/fem aligned at all. Grieving. Hes in complete denial that Luffy, who showers once a week and has the romantic capacity of a beetle could get you before he even had a chance... If you're a guy/male aligned sanji is a big supporter!! good for both of you. (still jealous but denies it. internalized homophobia !!!!!!!)
▸ Robin is the BIGGEST reason you even are together. Luffy's romance counselor. Wins award for most patient with Luffy's bullshit award. Proud mom vibes.
▸ Franky is probably YOUR romance counselor. He's got some experience in the department and doesn't mind giving advice. He's SUUUUUUPER supportive of you and Luffy !!! Proud father we love to see it.
▸ Brook is so sad..... do you think he could bribe Luffy with meat for your panties..? Jokes aside, Brook includes more romance songs in his rotation. Gotta set the mood for.. one person at least.
▸ Chopper is too busy attempting to take care of passed out nami + usopp and poor, depressed sanji to really celebrate....
Zoro
▸ Nami and Robin are at least 50% of the reason you and zoro are together. Zoro has the emotional awareness of a fucking rock and will just sit there and stew in his feelings for YEARS if no one does anything.
▸ Luffy is happy as long as his nakama are happy! Someone accidentally let it slip to him that zoro liked you and he just . said it straught to your face. A for effort!
▸ Brook and Sanji react the same way as if it were Luffy.
▸ Usopp is pretty happy! Nami has been complaining to him about how dense the two of you are for a couple months, so he's glad that's over. Glad that you found someone to love honestly.
▸ Franky thinks you two are a SUUUUUPER cute couple! Just happy his nakama are finally happy together.
▸ Chopper is now your surrogate son. He and zoro are close as hell and youre probably close with chopper too! familial snuggles.
Sanji
▸ Nami, Chopper, Usopp, and Zoro are all in Shock. Sanji? Pervert, flirts with every woman he sees, Sanji ... Settling down? With one person? And devoting (most..) of his attention solely on you??? None of them can believe this, and Zoro is disturbed at your choice in men.
▸ Brook sheds a tear... or would, if he had year ducts (yohoho!!), but he's happy for Sanji! And you, of course. cranks up the romantic jams at dinner.
> Franky and robin are once again the supportive parents of the group. Robin is glad Sanji has finally found someone to settle his... overbearing attention on, and Franky just loooves when people he care about are happy together.
▸ Luffy is SO using you to get more food from sanji. Im sorry but its what can and will happen.
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loving-n0t-heyting · 2 months
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Do you have any particular hopes for silksong? (As in gameplay, storyline, characters, music) also, your thoughts on lacenet? It probably won’t be canon, but I think it’s funny that the hollow knight fandom saw two women interact in a romanticizable manner and immediately decided to ship. #feminism (feminism tag is a joke based off the fact that this usually happens with male characters)
At this point tbh i just am hoping it comes out U_U
Im interested to see what they do with dialogue in the game! HK was very heavy on dialogue obviously but the diegetically silent protagonist kind of constrains just how much they could play with it as a medium; the speaking roles are basically themselves just living lore tablets, aside from the shop keepers
The gut wrenching quality of discovering the abyss and the birthplace combined with everything leading up to it was so well done i have trouble imagining them managing to pull it off a second time, but tbh thats fine. I am looking forward more to gameplay and art than plot, but mb ill be pleasantly surprised
No real feelings on lacewing yuri. I have not been eyeing silksong stuff like a hawk like a lot of fans tbc, just checking in every now and again
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Stuff from Ending Day By Day/The Second Raid that was meant to kill me, specifically
-In the novel, it mentions Kaname had bought an AS simulation game so she could learn more about Sousuke’s job and then when she checks Sousuke’s empty apartment, she finds some CDs she’d lent him :’ ( He was trying to get into music she likes :’ (
-The montage of Sousuke packing & cleaning his apartment in the rain in TSR conveyed that scene without words so well 8′ ) Ow.
-Kyouko earnestly trying to find out why Kaname just. Deflates after seeing one of the twins. She tries so hard to help Kaname.
-The way Yukana’s voice cracks when Tessa finally breaks down talking to Sousuke. Also the fact that neither one of them wants to be mad at the other, and they’re mad at the circumstances, and they both KNOW it, but they’re still standing there together, angry and on edge, unable to have a constructive conversation or even discuss their feelings. Sousuke isn’t even able to properly lash out, all he can do is passive-aggressively insinuate that Tessa made a bad choice (and then listen as Tessa berates him, personally, without accepting his apologies, even though he does feel bad and says as much to Kurz later). Tessa lashes out and loses face, then has to put it all aside and worry that Sousuke hates her until the end of the series. And, you know. They’re teenagers. They’re just kids.
-The fact that apparently Mithril doesn’t have a single person acting as a psychologist or therapist on staff. There’s no one for Tessa to talk to, first of all, which is horrifying and really obvious in this arc. No one in the division thinks twice about Sousuke being 16-17 except Kalinin, who uses a simultaneously Spartan yet hands off approach in handling it. YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE HIS DAD, KALININ. WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THAT FATHERLY INSTINCT IN VOICE FROM THE NORTH?
-The way Yukino Satsuki’s voice cracks when Kaname is crying on the roof after Leonard leaves.
-Sousuke is doing his literal absolute best to get through the training, the mission, everything with zero emotional support or room for failure; he’s never had any personal issues to deal with like this before. They just expect to pull him from his job cold turkey and have him go back to how he was before (and the expectation of him being like he was before is ridiculous). Then everyone is pissed off because they don’t WANT to leave piloting Arbalest to this kid, but they have to and they’re making it his problem. He left the mission because Mao said he was a liability and he knew she was right. Ouch?
-Even though they were mostly for fanservice (looking hot and kicking ass in fights), the twins--especially in the anime where Gates parades Yu Lan’s corpse around in front of Yu Fang. In the novel, his unnamed equivalent just dropped the younger twins head out on the battlefield which was bad enough. I was 2000% cheering when Gates died after that. (Mao remembering Yu Lan’s eyes when Sousuke leaves the van was an EXCELLENT way to make more use of the twin’s extra screentime, too). 
-The Xia twins did nothing wrong, they were victims of circumstance u_u
-Sousuke’s dead-eyed stare when he tells Yang humans are just piles of meat while Yang is standing there with the gun like “don’t make me put you down like a dog, man, because I WILL do it.”
-Kaname joking with Kyouko about getting Sousuke an electric collar, but this one almost made me die laughing. I think the “he is dog” jokes are funny lol
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sereina-archive · 2 years
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genshin ho
have some bad takes <3 | accepting!
The first character I first fell in love with: the first zhongli rerun was literally the reason i started playing <3 ive had him in my team for an entire year straight, man's in the first slot and will NEVER LEAVE
The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: xiao 😭 i fucking love this boy so goddamn much and would die for him
The character everyone else loves that I don’t: this might get me crucified but aether as the mc. i feel like the obnoxious aether mains u see around have just ruined him for me u_u
The character I love that everyone else hates: honestly i feel like i rly dont have one?? all the characters i like feel universally liked tbh.
The character I used to love but don’t any longer: i really liked yoimiya a lot when she was first revealed... idk what happened but when her banner came out i was just not abt it
The character I would totally smooch: GRABS DAINSLEIF BY THE THROAT
The character I’d want to be like: ning.... pretty rich lady....
The character I’d slap: beats childe within an inch of his life (but honestly he'd probably like that)
A pairing that I love: im a big fucking slut for chilumi jokes aside. and xiaoven has my ENTIRE FUCKING HEART
A pairing that I despise: kaeya and diluc is an obv so ill go w something more spicy. i dont rly care for sara x raiden u_u
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lyriumeater · 1 year
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gushing abt absolution :v immediate spoiler warning :3c
okay not to get on everyones nerves BUT i am GUSHING abt meredith, absolutely CREAMING, meredith has always been one of my most favorite characters and FRANKLY.....im so glad shes back, she deserves it, shes just so *clenches fist* fucking unstable, maker bless her heart, shoulda seen it coming too "the crimson knight" like of fucking course! i wonder if theyll make a second season? that would be pretty legit! i guess it also makes sense that meredith of all ppl would want to completely raze the imperium? but aside from it being run by mages and it being the epitome, the literal incarnation, of everything she considers wrong and unnatural in the world, what other reason could there be? also i saw someone else mention it idr who, but it is such a cool fucking parallel between the red templars looking for a new leader in the same way darkspawn seek out old gods! tbf, theyre both blighted! why wouldnt they behave similarly?
god but the bit between miriam and hira legit kinda of pissed me off. i really wish bioware would maybe? i dont fuckin know? stop writing wlw who just hurt each other? not even each other, its just one of them fucking the other one over! im all for treacherous queers but i would really like to see some wlw just loving each other? i get we have our own characters but like :/ this trend is annoying, i wouldnt be surprised if they stuck a quest abt reuniting them in da4 a la celene and briala god im just not gonna fuckin look at it u_u
i think out of everyone, rezaren was my favorite character. he was so appropriately slimy! lacklon is a close 2nd, but rezaren's characterization hit me like a sac of bricks, like i get the feeling he was lying to himself abt miriam being his """"sister""" too, like he willfully chose to refuse looking at it from her perspective until she outright told him no and like the way his demeanor flipped so fucking fast! like when i saw that happen i said aloud "there it fucking is!" like ive literally witnessed that flip in real life from my own past abusers, like ive heard those phrases almost verbatim and it was SO FUCKING CHILLING so fucking unsettling, i think they did a great job with him! also the fact he was dragging nebs fucking corpse around with a demon bound to it, AND THEN HE DID IT AGAIN! when me n the sib witnessed miriam cut his head off, we paused and made jokes like "ah, just stick another demon in there asshole!" AND THEN HE IMMEDIATELY DID?? LMFAO WHAT A FUCKING ASSHOLE FREAK!?? fucking jackass!
and then when he was like "its awll my fwauwt 🥺😭 i was just twying to make herw see weason! 🥺🥺🥺" even my sib who is wholly unfamiliar with DA was like "youre a jackass! youre fucking stupid! fucking idiot!!!!" like? she WAS seeing reason! its just not valid to you bc its not what you wanna hear! god he was so deliciously deluded! and it was SOOOOO satisfying when he successfully summoned neb and neb didnt say a FUCKING WORD to him but turns and tells miriam he loves her?? STOP??? THE DRAMA THE SHADE THE FUCKING SLIGHT OH YM GODS?? my mouth was AGAPE! the way he didnt say a fucking word to rezaren was SO UNBELIEVABLY SATISFYING OOUUUGGGHH I BET REZAREN FELT SO STUPID AFTER THAT! me n my sib were both like "how stupid do u feel!!!" i legit laughed, it was soo satisfying
absolution was very fun, im probably gonna watch it a handful more times, especially now that i know what to look for! ^_^
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sillyfudgemonkeys · 1 year
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I can see why people would simply characterize as pervert and be done with it, despite the many instances where he's an anti pervert during Kamoshida.
and they overshadow a lot of good Ryuji moments like Ryuji tanking a freaking Vorpal blade for both Joker and Akechi in Royal. Or even Ryuji's save after Shido's palace started crumbling.
the only moment that's not overshadowed is the fact that he said fuck, like for a "pervert character" he almost always default to "eff" instead of fuck.
Not even Ryuji's saving of Joker when Sophia fell or the many moments Ryuji saves the phantom thieves really get enough praise because "pervert"
He is both it and not..... Kamo arc, his CoOp, and most of Strikers iirc he is very anti-pervert. But sadly 90% of Vanilla/Royal spends their time making out to be a perv, and the anime just you know....jumps right into it in the Kamo arc (a whole arc early), dunno how the rest went down but.....8U
And I really, REALLY hate how they make him pervy, esp aimed at Anne. But I like it when he's, you know, not that (tho in Strikers I'm like "hmmm don't wanna hear it hypocrite" but considering P5, that's probably like the nicest gloves I have kjdsa;fkj). But it's a moot point, he's still a char I look more fondly on with P5 than other's, caveats aside.
But yes, he does get the butt monkey joke a lot. In a sense he's in a same boat as Yosuke. Both will be the butt monkey, EVEN IF they are in the right/not doing anything bad/being helpful (really on full display for Yosuke in PQ1, despite being butt monkey at least the cast acknowledges how much they love him.....tho it's not till PQ2 that he, and Teddie, get some freaking dignity back TT0TT). Unlike Junpei who is a butt monkey cause he'll make stupid jokes, or he'll be an asshat and be like "I'm soooo jealous, but why can't anyone see how awesome I am???? *proceeds to be the walking fuck up that Atlus seems to think Yosuke/Ryu are*" AT LEAST, if memory serves (and tbh I tried blocking this game out), Strikers treats Ryu with a lot more dignity (and probs PQ2, but I wanted that blocked outta my mind too u_u).
NOW, did they utilize him to his fullest ability like any good writer would, esp if they saw the obvious parallels? No. No they did not. Akira should've been a slam dunk but nope. But what am I to expect when the same writers (maybe?) think Goro and MC should be opposites, when Ryu and Sumi are right there for Goro. Of course they are the same writers who don't think to you know.....add Ryu to the list of taking out (")shitbag(")family members. At least give me the excuse that "he's too far out of reach" but even then I'll have question (how far can the Metaverse extend in P5??? What's the distance??? Is it only Tokyo? Did we even try outside of Tokyo???? ANSWERS I NEED ANSWERS! D:<)
Jesus the fuck joke, who caaaaares! DX Have him say it, don't have him say it. I don't care, just do something with him!
That being said, maybe it's a godsend. Because I saw what happened with Yusuke and Strikers klfjdsjf;a Like listen, I don't like the guy either, but the difference between me and chars in the game (other me being real) is that.....I'm not his friend. PT really out there not acting like Yusuke is a friend flkj;ksfj; Jesus they did him dirty, but I'm fine with it. I'm surprised more people weren't klfjl;ajsdflja
Tbh Yusuke and Futaba are also perverts. "No I'm not! I just love art-" I don't care. Don't objectify your friends (Makoto-Pyramid, "I was looking at the Pyramid" Makoto's bra strap is not a pyramid) or people who aren't consenting to your (Anne-stripping) "art" maybe? And Futaba? Leave Anne and Mako alone, don't grab them jesus. We should've left you in a basement if you were gonna act like this. Elizabeth? Eliza-ah there you are, can you PLEASE send the gremlin back to the real world? She's making everyone uncomfortable. >_>
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rontra · 2 years
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Oop I recently went through your whole art tag and queued a bunch of art reblogs (both new and old) so that may be my fault at least in part, if you genuinely want me to I can go through and delete them? /gen
Oh! I would appreciate it, yes.
I decided to try and explain my feelings a little more concretely, but I'll put in a readmore because <-wordy
I can't say for certain that it's yours specifically, but it does feel as though there's one or two blogs queue-posting in rough order my entire 2016 library--and then followers of theirs reblog them again and now my entire notes panel is full of 5+ year old art...
I know you (and everyone else who's reblogging them) don't have bad intentions. The function of reblogging art is overall a pretty positive interaction. I am grateful that you like my art and want to show it to your followers, and I don't mean to sound like I'm not... It just gets difficult for me to deal with when it continues deep into super old stuff. It's stressful in a way that's a little hard to verbalize so I usually don't really try aside from going "hey please don't" when there's a noticeable surge
I can't exactly gamble on everyone paying attention to my newest "hey please don't" posts when they're back in the archives reblogging 2016 posts though, so it's hard to do anything besides like, idk, blocking the core blogs involved and hoping for the best??? (lol)
idk, it feels unnecessary to me, and they're not all posts I like to see activity on because they're so old. As an artist, they don't really reflect my skill, style, or "brand" anymore...? And they haven't for a Long Time. On top of that, a lot of them are inside jokes from people and groups I knew 5 years ago and they have very little "mass appeal" (for lack of a better term), so I don't really understand it when those get notes. All in all it's a little bit...weird and disheartening to have a big surge like this lasting for days and weeks, where half-a-decade-old posts consistently fill my entire notes panel, when I'm still here posting new stuff...
I don't want to delete the original posts because of sentimental reasons (my blog is a very lengthy archive of personal art development that I like to look at myself!), and I think it's nice if people remember and think fondly about the posts--or even dig them up to look at them--but I do habitually un-tag and bury them to make them harder for other (new) people to find and reblog. It's clear now that I did not do a good enough job of that, and I've done another wide sweep to remove franchise and character tags from a large amount of posts.
I would be very relieved if you took old (say roughly pre-2018) stuff out of your queue. I have plenty of more recent art to look at and reblog ;_;
Thanks for the message. Sorry this reply is pretty wordy, I just wanted to try and explain my feelings a bit (and I'm bad at being concise UHDSFDKJG)
I'm not mad or anything, it's just a bit...mm.
As I said, I know there's no ill intent, and I am glad you enjoy my work...but I would prefer that the rickety old posts be left to sleep where they lay u_u
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piduai · 3 years
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What’s the most difficult part about learning Japanese?
this is going to get hella long again i can feel it in my bones U_U
kanji, one hundred thousand percent. i’ve met only one person who didn’t absolutely hate them but i think she might have had stockholm syndrome, poor thing. i am from good to great at everything else, but kanji is my kryptonite. even japanese people struggle with them lmao to the point that carrying an electric dictionary in school or uni is not only common but recommendable. 
out of foreigners, the only ones who don’t generally scowl at them are chinese speakers, though i think they have their problems because modern chinese uses simplified hanzi and kanji are generally traditional, plus they don’t always mean the same things, but i think for chinese speakers it’s about the cultivated skill rather than the kanji themselves. when you’re taught from childhood to practice writing them you accumulate them as you grow and the process of learning is ingrained in you, when you have to learn EVERYTHING from scratch as a teen or adult, the amount of the workload is simply overwhelming.
it’s not only about memorization only either. you can have great photographic memory and still struggle. there’s thousands of combinations that can mean very different things, or only slightly different things, or essentially the same thing but in different ways depending on context or tone or implication. some kanji have up to 13 different readings. even if you leave the aspect of contextualization aside, which IS very very important,  _every_ single word has a unique way to be written so you have to remember the writing of all of them, which is just a massive amount of information to be memorized. massive. 
this is not a personal problem, but a lot of foreigners as well as a decent number of natives have trouble with keigo. keigo is honorifics. in japanese, you’re supposed to talk to everyone differently. you talk differently to your friends, your family, your partners, your boss, your co-workers, the clerk at the store... it’s important to know the differences because you simply can not talk to them in the same way. keigo is a scale of politeness that you have to tune up and down and it’s important to know your place in the hierarchy. you use plain speech with your friends, you’re equal but polite to your colleagues but you have to adjust your speech depending on whether they’re older than you or have been at the company longer, with your boss you have to be mega polite WHILE expressing through your speech that you consider yourself lower than them in status, with customers you have to be mega polite while expressing that you’re much much lower than then in status etc etc etc. i visualize this whole system inside of my head as a pyramid and change my place depending on who i’m talking to since this is all pretty formulaic so i have no issue navigating this, but a lot of people do struggle with it a lot because it can get confusing.
this one on the other hand is very much a personal problem, japanese is very, very vague as a rule. there’s a thing in japanese called ‘reading the air’ aka reading the atmosphere, which is a tenet of communication in the language much more than one could think. it is very important to be able to read between the lines and it’s considered improper to be direct. i am on the spectrum so i’ve struggled with social cues, norms and rituals my whole life, but in japanese it’s part of the package to be able to navigate them. i am a very direct, literal person. there’s a running joke that japanese people are unable to say ‘no’ which is partly true; people rarely say no. instead of no they say maybe, or some other time, or we’ll see, or it would be difficult, or who knows, and you’re supposed to know, you’re supposed to pick up that you’re being gently turned down, but they don’t teach you about this in class. it took me some time to learn that when someone clicks their tongue and says ‘it would be difficult to do’ it doesn’t mean ‘convince me’, it means a firm ‘no way in hell, go get an intestinal parasite and die’. and it’s everywhere you turn. one can argue that it’s present in any language and they would be right but i think that in other languages it’s rather a way an individual person chooses to act rather than it being a cultural norm. right now there’s actually a movement in making people more firm in expressing their opinions directly. again this is a deeply personal problem because i’ve always been allergic to sugarcoating, maybe other people don’t struggle with this... 
another personal thing is that i’m absolutely shit at remembering names and referring to someone as even the most polite version of ‘you’ is considered incredibly rude, so each time i meet someone new and forget their name 2 seconds later i need to think of ways of addressing them without using the word ‘you’ which can sometimes be very challenging LMAO.
people always praise my pronunciation and always ask if i was raised here but i find it that english and russian speakers struggle with it a lot. it depends on the mix of what is your native language and how good of a ear you have i think. japanese is very melodic, in my head it’s like the keys of a piano because it’s nothing but syllables. theoretically romance language natives should have the least trouble with the pronunciation although a lot of frenchies i know still have a lingering accent, but the more specific the phonetic system of your native language, the stronger of an accent you will potentially have.
i stated this before but language learning is a deeply personal process. things that are difficult to me might be a piece of cake for other people, and vice-versa. these are merely my individual observations.
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zenosanalytic · 4 years
Text
Harrow the Ninth: *Happy Viper Chair-Dance of Happiness*
So I buckled down and spent ALL OF YESTERDAY finishing Harrow the Ninth, finishing ~5pm cst started writing THIS ~7pm cst(tho I decided to rewrite it today), and you can deduce from above my feelings :| I’m very subtle so it COULD require some real ferreting out :| :| Take your time; I’m in no rush.
Good? Ok.
I’m going to be pretentious(ME?!) now and call it “Titanic” and “Olympian” and “A Masterclass in Literary Mechanics” and, if you think I’m being extravagant, I’ll just say I FEEL as if I am but humbly polishing the very merest Shoeflesh of Extravagant Praise with these deservéd words; kneeling over my meager shinebox -greasy rag clutched in my entirely metaphorical hands; newsboy cap at a Determined, yet Rakish tilt upon my head; Gigantic patent-leather shoes, absolutely WRECKED by late 1800s Urban Streets, shoved close to my ganderbulbs- buffing assiduously that stubbornly muddied Boot-toe as Mista EP reads The Times, readying itself for the full and vigorous day of honestly describing the greatness of this book which lays before it. Dear Dear Sweet, Precious, Sweet Dear Dear Readers: I implore you to read no hyperbole when I write, that parts of this book are like riding out a hurricane to Dorothyville in a glass case of Emotion :| :| :|
I cried, Dear Readers; I cried often, moved suddenly -to my core- by simple phrases plainly stating sincere emotions with all the surprise of a beam of light bursting through a thunderhead, or turning a corner to bunp your own birthday cake from the hands of a loved one you thought on the otherside of the world, to the floor. Of course as a snake my tearducts empty directly into my mouth so there was, conveniently, no public teariness to speak of; but I assure you there was much sniffling of nostril, much jittering of jaw, much trembling lip bitten and turned aside from the page as composure was summoned and mastered, much broken recitation and shaky curses of “Damn you Muir! Damn Your Cruel, Umbral Genius!!” Followed swiftly by sobguffaws at a cruelly cutting poetry joke. If I told you the gag-a-minute gore-ridden story of Juggalo!Catholic!Rose and Twincest!PastelGoth!Vriska receiving an awful and grimly abusive post-graduate education at the hands of a kismestic Donald Duck and Goofy, overseen by an Unholy mashup of Calvin’s Dad, Dr. Scratch, and Prince Charming -and, Hell, PROBABLY Sora; he’s PROBABLY SORA TOO I never played Kingdom Hearts but I BET there’s something there I couldn’t see- was one of the most powerful and sensitive examinations of Humanity, Grief, Loneliness, Mental Illness, Death, and Poetry ever written, would you believe me? You should u_u
I Laughed; I Cried; I Cheered; I Condemned; I Contemplated: I literally felt EFFERVESCENT having finished this, or perhaps like a loose, sparking wire, happily dancing its dangerous jig across the sweaty concrete floor of a poorly lit corridor. I had NO FUCKING CLUE what was going on at the end(I do now; I’ve thought about it) which I found Entirely Appropriate, in part because this book took, like 200 pages to end. The Climax ALONE has a four-act structure! It is Wonderful, and Powerful, and, as so many have said, the Pagekind Equivalent of a Marathon, and I am deeply happy it exists so that I could have read it, and I am Legit Serious about considering it a Classic Work. It kills me to think that, because of its genre and our Era, it probably will never get treated with the culture-wide seriousness it deserves. I love Gideon the Ninth and this is, like, Ten Times the book GtN is(though that’s a bit unfair since they’re VERY different). Which I didn’t think possible. Honestly, Taz is Too Powerful u_u u_u What Hath the Internet Wrought? What grease-painted beast, its hour come round at last, glomps towards Manhattan to be born?
Anyway: I initially had a huge readmore section on this post but I think I’ll leave this Fevered Declaration standing as my solitary Reaction, and write separate posts for my specific thoughts instead, to eventually be all linked together so it isn’t solitary at all.
ANYWAY!
GO READ THIS BOOK! WHEN YOU HAVE TIME!! AND THE MONEY AND OR LIBRARY ACCESS TO ACQUIRE IT!!!
I’m not even really sure if you need to read Gideon the Ninth first to get it, though I absolutely would recommend doing so since it’s a fun and meritorious read in its own right, and for its own reasons.
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Since we got some angsty Delton. Can we have Darren in roughly the same situation? With Mama Hanin coming to the rescue?!
I can’t believe you made me do this, nonny, but here you are: the sweetest duckling, scared out of his wits u_u
Rescue fic. In which Darren goes missing during the night and wakes up in an unfamiliar place… (approx 3900 words)
CW: kidnapping, drowning, violence (because Hanin’s got some asses to kick)
Darren couldn’t remember much of what had happened. To callit a blur would only trivialise just how emptythat part of his memory was. All he knew was that at one point during thenight, he had lay down in his tent to sleep, his watch over, Cyrus’ beginning.
His tent, however, was not where he woke up.
Groggy and confused, mind thick with half-formed thoughts, Darrenstruggled to piece them together until the throbbing in his head nearly overwhelmedhim. He groaned softly, leaning forward, but when he tried to reach up and rubhis stinging eyes something tugged tight around his wrists, rough and biting. Rope?
Where was he?
Eyes adjusting to the faint light, Darren blinked, trying totake in his surroundings. At first he assumed it was a cave of some kind, but…no. While the floor was a cold grey stone, the walls were wooden, panelsrotting in places, patched and re-patched haphazardly with planks of variousshades. Crates lined the walls, some roughly pried open, others chewed away atthe base by vermin, the contents long since devoured or spoiled. The more timeDarren took to assert himself in his new situation, the quicker panic clawedits way up the back of his throat.
What was happening?
Fear overtaking pain and confusion, Darren whimpered, tuggingat his bound wrists, eyes darting about wildly. The room began to distortaround him, his own breathing too short to keep his head from spinning as hetried to pull in air through his nose. A cloth had been wedged into his mouthand tied in place, the taste of it stale and dry against his tongue. The momentDarren realised it was there he retched, shuddering, too aware of it and toofrightened to even think of screaming as he tried to spit it out.
“Hey, Ryker. He’s awake.”
Darren’s eyes snapped across, glassy and wide, in thedirection of the feeble light. A figure stood in the narrow doorway, rake-thinand pale, his hair stringy as it fell to either side of his face. He eyedDarren for a moment, expression unreadable, before stepping aside to make roomfor another person. This man was taller, broader, and meaner looking, his darkbrow hanging low over his eyes, set in perpetual frown. When he stepped intothe room, his footfalls landed heavy on the stone. Each one made Darren shrinkfurther back against the wall. Ryker loomed above him for a moment, ignoringthe way Darren drew his knees in towards his chest and curled away. Then, in asharp movement, he crouched,  calloused hand reaching out to grab Darren roughly by theface.
“You scream,” he murmured, breath hot and sour and so closeDarren could feel it, “I cut yourtongue out. That clear?”
Before Darren could reply, Ryker hooked a fingerbehind the gag and dragged it down, leaving it hanging around Darren’s neck.Eyes watering, Darren spat out the cloth, coughing hoarsely, mouth and throatdry from sheer terror. But the coughing was quickly replaced by short, harriedbreaths as Darren sat frozen on the ground, pressed to the wall, not evendaring to look at his captor. Too scared to even tremble.
Ryker regarded him for a moment that seemed more like aneternity, those dark eyes unwavering. Without pity. Then, he grunted, rockingback on his heels. “Not much, are you?”
Not trusting himself to speak, Darren pursed his lips, apart of him hoping it would mask the tell-tale quiver of his chin. His weakness. When he didn’t reply,Ryker’s expression darkened. He leaned in again, those dark eyes boring intothe side of Darren’s head as he tried to shrink into the wall. Disappearinto it.
“From here on, boy, when I ask you a question, you answer it.Got it?”
Squeezing his eyes shut, chest too tight to breathe right, Darrennodded frantically. His fingers dug into the rope binding his wrists so hardhis nails ached, but it was worth it. Anything to keep away the shaking. Hewasn’t sure why he was so focused on that. Anyone with eyes could see he wasterrified. But it was something tooccupy his mind, and maybe that was it. Maybe that was all he had to keep himselffrom breaking in two.
“Better.” The shadow receded and Darren opened his eyeshesitantly. Ryker had risen and moved back to the door. He exchanged a fewwords with someone Darren couldn’t see before turning back. Quickly, Darrendropped his gaze. He hated himself for it. Not because he thought he was betterthan that, but because he knew how different the others would be in his place.Defiant. Brave. Lyrene would smile that wicked smile of hers. Ralon would cracka joke. Connors would meet the man’s gaze and never waver. Cyrus would spitinsults despite the danger. And Hanin…
Well, Hanin would have never ended up caught in the firstplace. Darren was sure of it.
The sound of wood scraping against stone dragged Darren outof his thoughts. Ryker was moving a stool over, setting it in front of Darren.He sat, legs spread, elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped, and saidnothing. Just watched the blond as he squirmed before that hard stare.
“I, um…” Darren swallowed, cutting himself off, his voicehesitant and barely above a whisper. Was he supposed to speak? The man hadn’tasked a question yet.
What if he hit him?
Ryker, however, answered Darren’s silent question in asingle word. “Talk.”
“What do you want from me?” The words practically tumbledfrom Darren’s lips, fear pitching them higher than usual. “I- I’m not anybody, I swear!”
Ryker snorted. “Oh, you belong to someone, alright.” Hisvoice was deep and ominous, seeming to resonate through the room. “That makes you somebody.”
Darren swallowed, already on the verge of tears, fightinghard to keep his throat from closing too tight. “I d-don’t understand.”
Another man entered; the same one as before with the hairlike strings hanging from his scalp. He moved slowly, fingers curled beneathwhat looked like a wooden trough. Whatever was in it, he was clearlystruggling, thin arms shaking as he moved towards Ryker and Darren. When heeventually set his burden down, Darren heard it. The sloshing of water.
Oh Maker.
“We didn’t think you were anyone at first,” Ryker said asthe skinny man stepped back, shaking out his aching arms. “Then Tal over here recognisedthat mark.” He tapped his chest and Darren glanced down at the Inquisitioncrest embossed into the leather of his jerkin. Standard issue.
Of course.
“I don’t know anything important,” Darren insisted, tryingto sound as sincere as he was. “I swear, I-I’m just a recruit. They don’t tellus any—”
“Still reckon someone’ll pay coin to get you back.” It wasthe lanky man, Tal, who interrupted. The words were strange, muffled around theedges as though his mouth were lined with cotton. “Got a note in the works, see.We’ll do a trade. Ain’t nobody gotta get hurt, kid.”
A ransom? The ideashould have left Darren hopeful, but instead he just felt utterly empty.
No one was going to pay anything for a soldier like him.
“Shut up, Tal. Go keep watch with the others.” Ryker soundedgenuinely annoyed, firing a sharp glare at his companion. Evidently he was aman worth fearing, because Tal scuttled out of the room like a mouse before amountain lion, barely remembering to shut the door in his haste. A chill ranthrough Darren as Ryker returned his attention to him. If there had ever been aseed of hope, it withered away as Ryker’ gaze dropped to the tub of water.
“Got some questions for you, boy. Answer them and we won’thave a problem.”
Oh no. No, no, no…
His heart was beating too fast. Darren knew it was. It wasgoing to crack right there in his chest; tear itself free. “Please,” hebreathed, eyes wide, staring at that dark, flat water. “Please, I-I swear Idon’t know anything. Please, Idon’t—”
Ryker kicked the tub hard and Darren cut off with a terrifiedyelp, jolting back against the wall as water splashed up, wetting the front ofhis shirt. It was bitter cold.
“Where were you headed?” Ryker demanded. Already, Darrenknew he was in trouble. He couldn’t answer that, could he? They had been sentto investigate reports of refugees hiding in the hills. Hiding from demons andmages and Templars and bandits like him.
“Nowhere,” Darren whispered, dread closing its hand aroundhis throat. It knew what was coming. If he were stronger man, Darren would haveleft it at that. Firm. Decisive. But fear quickly caught up with him and hefound a frantic torrent of words spilling past his lips, tripping and stumblingin their haste to be heard. “W-We weren’t told any details, just to head outhere and look around. Not heading anywhere, just around, looking to see if there was any trouble or folks thatneeded help or, or… t-that’s all, really!”
It was not a convincing performance. They both knew it. But itstill came as something of a shock when Ryker grabbed Darren by the back of thehead, fingers knotting tight in his hair, and shoved his head into the tub. Atfirst, Darren barely struggled, the coldness of the water hitting him like abrick to the face as he was submerged. But instinct quickly demanded that hemove – that he get out – and when hecouldn’t do that panic quickly followed. Darren bucked and jerked, fightingagainst the ropes, Ryker’s hand, the water, hislungs. But the bandit refused torelent until Darren couldn’t hold his breath any longer. Precious bubbles ofair rushed from his lips as he opened his mouth, chest burning, retracting, demanding that he—
Ryker dragged him out of the tub.
Coughing and heaving, Darren took a few seconds to gasp inlungfuls of air then broke into hysterical sobs, shaking his head, pressinghimself as close to the wall as he could get - as far from the tub as he could get - cheek turnedagainst the wooden boards.
“Stop crying and stop fuckinglying.” There was anger in Ryker’s voice now. It ran like a dark undercurrentto his words; darker than the water. “Where were you headed? There more ofyou?”
Please, no. Therewas another squad, checking the hills further south. But Darren couldn’t tellhim that. “I-It’s just us,” he managed to stammer between sobs, shivering, hishair soaked flat and dripping wet. “J-Just us, please, please…”
Ryker leaned forward and Darren just cried harder, voiceshrill, no longer caring about how pathetic he seemed. But the mandidn’t reach for him with that cruel hand. Not yet. “You think I’m playing afucking game, kid?” he growled. “Answer properly before I really losemy patience.”
I can’t. Darrenshook his head, sobbing, knowing what it meant. But he had no choice. He couldn’t tell him. The thought of banditsdiscovering where those people were hiding; the idea of them getting therefirst and maybe even ambushing his own squad; was too much for Darren to bear.He was terrified of dying, but to be responsible for that…?
He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to live with himself.
Of course, Ryker had no time for such sentiment. All Darrencould do was beg senselessly as the man grabbed him by the back of the neck andforced him back down into the water. It engulfed him, dark as ink, so cold itmade his skin burn. Darren held on for as long as he could; held his breathuntil his chest screamed in bright, sharp need. Then, he had to do it. Had tobreathe. This time, when the last bubbles of air rose from Darren’s lips, Rykerdidn’t let him go.
Water rushed up Darren’s nose, into his mouth, down histhroat. He coughed and spasmed, mind white with panic as he thrashed andtwisted, choking. Water was dragged into his lungs. Water. Not air. Not what heneeded. The ropes ripped at the skinof his wrists as he struggled in mindless terror to free his hands, fighting toraise his head from the tub, that calloused hand on his neck refusing to budge.A high pitched whine filled Darren’s ears, deafeningly loud as he tried tobreathe in again but nothing came. He heaved. Spasmed. Heaved again. There wasno space left. Not in his chest, his stomach, his lungs. Nothing. No room to…
Just as Darren’s struggles started to slow and his eyesbegan to roll back, he was dragged out of the trough. The action was soforceful that he was thrown to the side, striking the wall hard. He crumpled,throwing up water, coughing, choking, rasping as his body spasmed and forced itall from inside him. It took what felt like an age for the roaring in Darren’sears to subside enough for him to make out the other sounds.
People were shouting somewhere beyond the door, voices harshand guttural, roaring in anger. Steel rang against steel. There was a loudcracking sound; someone slamming into one of the rotting walls. Rykerwas on his feet, face set into a snarl as he drew the blade belted to his side.Darren knew he should do something – anything– but his body refused to cooperate. He just lay there in a pool of foul water,shaking and sobbing and gasping in air, watching the world at a blurred angle as Ryker took upposition beside the door.
No. He was going to…
Darren opened his mouth and tried to call a warning, but histhroat seized and he succumbed to another fit of coughing. Oh Maker, it hurt. Tears stung Darren’s eyes, but hewasn’t sure why he was crying anymore. Wasn’t sure if it was still for himself,or for whoever was out there fighting, or for the people these men must havehurt before him. Ryker clearly saw what Darren had tried to do, and a thin,dangerous smile spread across his lips. The expression of a man burning for afight. Slowly, Ryker raised a finger to his lips in a mocking gesture, theother hand adjusting its grip on his sword. Poised. Ready to strike the momentthe door—
The door shattered.
Splinters of wood exploded into the room, old and half-rotten.The suddenness of it took Ryker by surprise. He hesitated for a fraction of asecond before striking out, his blade arcing towards the doorway. For almostanyone, it would have been a death-sentence.
Unfortunately for Ryker, it was Hanin.
The Dawn Squad’s captain snapped into action the moment Rykermoved, blade rising in a sharp parry to catch the bandit’s swing inches fromhis throat. Steel trembled against steel, then slid as Hanin turned his blade.Ryker staggered but recovered quickly, darting out of Hanin’s reach anddropping into a crouch as the warrior slowly entered the room. Darren hadthought Ryker’s footsteps menacing, but at the sound of Hanin’s, he became veryglad he was not the other man.
It was strange watching the fight sideways, crying silently, soaked on the floor. What would have appeared brutal at any other angleseemed to Darren like a dance along the wall, boots sliding over stone, steelflashing in the flickering light from the broken doorway. Ryker wassurprisingly good, his weapon a blur, his stance similar to Hanin’s, weight onthe balls of his feet, knees bent. They mirrored and met each other over andover again to the melody of distant fighting. The rest of the squad?
Hanin was careful never to let Ryker break his guard. Rykerwas intent on keeping the warrior on the defensive, meeting each parry withanother blow, then another, then another in a barrage that would have finishedmost fighting men. Fear began to grip at Darren’s heart. The room was too smallfor Hanin to swing Atisha. The shortsword in his Captain’s hand was not hisweapon of choice.
But it was still a tool; an instrument of swordsmanship. While Hanin was no master, he remained an artisan of thecraft.
Ryker bellowed a roar, lunging, locking blades with Hanin,the pair crashing together, separated by nothing but lines of sharp steel. He grinnedwildly, teeth tinged yellow-red in the firelight. “Was going to take coin forthe brat,” he hissed, the metal creaking between them, “but you’ve pissed meoff, now. Reckon I’ll kill him slow once I’m done with you. Drown him a fewmore times then—”
Hanin released his blade and shifted to the side in a suddenrush of movement. Eyes going wide, Ryker staggered forward as Hanin spun aroundto face the bandit’s exposed back. But he had no blade. No knife in quickreach. How was he going to…?
All Darren could do was stare in numb shock as Hanin reachedout, seized Ryker’s head between his gauntleted hands, and snapped the man’sneck.
The body fell differently to what Darren was used to.Ryker’s legs started stiff, then twitched, one sliding out from under him. Hebuckled, torso bending, upper body striking the stone, tipping to the side, armtwisted beneath him at an unnatural angle.
Not the only thing atan unnatural angle. Not the onlything. Not the only…
“Darren?”
Darren jolted, gasping as though breathing for the firsttime in minutes. For a moment, raw panic overwhelmed him and he started to beg,curling in on himself. “Not the water, not again, p-please I don’t knowanything please I d-don’t…“
… Warmth.
It was so strange; so much the opposite of what Darren hadbeen expecting that the torrent of words ceased, stuck at the back of histhroat. He breathed once, twice, three times, trying to make sense ofeverything. His hands were free, somehow. No longer behind him, but in front ofhim, arms wrapped around himself.
No. Not himself.
Wrapped around Hanin.
“Breathe,” Hanin instructed. It was an order, but a gentleone; the kind he gave at the end of training when they were all exhausted andhad to be reminded to warm-down. Darren knew that tone, that voice, and heleaned into it, wanting nothing more than to let it wrap around him and keepout everything else. The cold. The fear. The shame. He was still crying. He knewhe was.
Hanin just held him tighter for it.
His low voice rumbled in his chest, but Darren couldn’t makeout what he was saying. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. What matteredwas that Hanin was there and alive and that meant Darren wasn’t alone anymore. HisCaptain didn’t do things the way he was supposed to; his hand didn’t rubcomforting circles on Darren’s back. Whatever he was saying, Darren was certainthey weren’t the ‘right’ words. But for a time, he let Darren cry. Let theyoung soldier cling to him on the cold, water-soaked floor, and didn’t once tryto pull away.
But eventually, it had to end.
“Can you walk?” Hanin waited for the reply. Waited forDarren to make the first move. Slowly, shivering and unsteady, Darren let go ofhis Captain and leaned back slightly. He swayed, but Hanin’s hands were stillaround him, steadying him. How did healways know what to do?
“M-Maybe,” he breathed, but when he tried to stand, his legswobbled and he fell back down, whimpering as his knee struck the stone. “I-I,um…”
To Darren’s surprise, Hanin’s expression softened. It wasstill concerned – still carried the echoes of fury that had snapped Ryker’sneck – but he moved slowly, sliding one arm beneath Darren’s knees, the other acrosshis back. In any other situation, it might have been humiliating. But in thatmoment, Darren wanted nothing more than to be away from that place. If it meantbeing carried out, so be it.
“Ready?” Hanin asked. Darren nodded, swallowing and turningtowards Hanin’s plate-covered chest.
“Y-Yeah…” Feeling his chin start to quiver again, Darrenpursed his lips, fighting back the urge to start crying again as Hanin rose tohis feet. He’d had enough of crying.“C-Captain?”
Moving out of the room, stepping over the corpse of Ryker,Hanin’s gaze flicked down. “Yes?”
“T-Thank you. For… coming to get me.” He sniffed. Squeezedhis eyes shut. Stop it. “I didn’t…I-I didn’t think—”
“Darren!” A voice, loud and sudden, cut Darren off. He jolted,shrinking against Hanin’s chest on instinct, until the voice called again.Warm. Relieved. Familiar.
“Maker’s breath, kid, you had me worried!” Ralon rushedover, reaching out, taking Darren’s face in his hands. He shook his head, andthen grinned, seeming almost giddy. “Scared us all shitless, you know. Cyruswas about to start tearing down walls.”
“Did you deal with the others?” Hanin interjected quietly.Ralon glanced up, and then nodded, expression turning serious.
“Yes, sir. Seven in total.”
Darren half-listened to the report as they walked, movingthrough damaged, blood-stained rooms until they finally emerged into the coolnight air. Outside stood the rest of the squad, Lyrene cleaning off bloody arrowsshe had salvaged, Connors gazing out at the tree line, Cyrus pacing a trenchinto the soft grass. Their eyes all turned and fixed on Darren, who felt hisface go red, not sure if it was shame or discomfort or something else entirely.He squirmed a little, and then whispered a request to Hanin. The warriorhesitated, but nodded, carefully setting Darren down, hovering until heseemed steady enough to stand alone.
“Hey, kiddo,” Lyrene said, smiling warmly. “Good to have youback.”
Connors nodded her agreement, rising silently to her feet.Cyrus said nothing, too, but it was different. His back was stiff, hands balledinto fists at his side. Angry. Darrenmet his icy gaze for a split second then looked away. Of course he was mad. It made perfect sense. Of all people, Darrenwas the least careful. The least skilled. The easiest target. Cyrus knew it.They all did. He was a liability, and this proved it. The others were just toonice to say it.
“I’m sorry,” Darren murmured, eyes fixed on the ground. Hecouldn’t meet Cyrus’ eye. The silence stretched, heavy and painful.
“… Is that some kind of fucking joke?”
Darren glanced up, but before he knew what was happening,Cyrus had him in his arms. It wasn’t as warm or comforting as Hanin’s embrace hadbeen; too rigid and uncertain. But it was enough to bring tears back toDarren’s eyes, and he buried his face quickly against Cyrus’ shoulder to hidethem.
“Listen, brat,” the Orlesian murmured. “You go missing likethat again, and I swear to every fucking god out there I will find you and killyou myself. Got it?”
A wet laugh shook free from Darren’s chest. The threat madeno sense at all. It didn’t have to. “Y-Yeah. Got it.”
To Darren’s surprise, Cyrus didn’t let go. Not yet. Instead,he tightened the hug, just a little bit. Just enough.
“Good.”
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macabrecabra · 7 years
Note
I got somethin for that Genji/Reyes bug you got~ Papa Shimada invites Blackwatch into his home in hopes of somehow bribing them into minding their own business. After seeing a few hidden glances towards his sons he offers them up for the night, Genji for Reyes and Hanzo for McCree. The Shimada bros are kinda struck dumb but our favorite Blackwatch boys are fucking pissed
Gonna modify it a bit just because …. Hanzo is the heir and Ihighly doubt that their father would pawn an heir out like that tosome minor agent  ^^; Also need to keep prompts short as can’t write a novel for em ; w ; suppose to be quick rights after all!
So focusing on that aspect u_u(Note: still not takingOverwatch writing prompts, trying to clear em out so I can focus onfinishing longer fics, one-shot collections in other fandom, andaqua*watch asks c:)For anon! Title: Business OfferRating:PG-13Relationship: Budding Genji/Reaper, pre fall ofOverwatchGenji didn't look up to address the man that satbefore him and his father and brother.
He couldn't bring himself todo so for the shame and anger burning hot and heavy in his gut. Itwasn't often if at all that he was called to such meetings. Hisbehavior towards the clan aside, a second son wasn't really all thatimperative to have about when the eldest son was practically groomedto perfection to take the clan's seat of power.
The only reason he was there today was to be nothing but a tool ofbribery. More or less his father had told him in no uncertainterms this morning that he was to be offered up to the Blackwatchcommander for the night as a bit of “incentive” to keep out ofthe affairs of the Shimada clan. The sister shadow-op organization toOverwatch had been an enemy that was quickly growing into a threatthat was causing unease among the elders. It was on of the feworganizations with a strong enough international presence toliterally be in more places at once, striking from the shadows andcosting millions in profit.
At this point the clan was willing to call the commander ofBlackwatch and try to negotiate some sort of contract that wasmutually beneficial. To that extent, Genji was just something thereto sweeten the deal as apparently the Blackwatch commander hadglanced at him a few times during the preliminary meeting they hadheld, enough so that it was assumed that perhaps such interest couldbe used.It didn't make the situation any better for Genji andhe felt nothing but a cold rage in the pit of his stomach for thefact he was being reduced to nothing more than a whore. All for theclan. That is what his father had told him. Just grin and bare it anddo this one duty for the clan.“I don't even know why youare bothering to insist with these meetings when the only option isyou stop your international operations entirely,” The lowgrowl of the Blackwatch Commander's voice had Genji dully flickinghis gaze up for a few seconds only to look down when his fatherspoke. “I'm sure there are other options that would benefitboth of us equally, commander Reyes. We are both men of business.Surely our operations, our connections and wealth appeal to yourorganization in one way or another,” The Shimada patriarch saidwith a smile, keeping his voice cordial, “We can help one another,not always be enemies.”Reyes laughed, a sound that hadHanzo tensing some with a frown and again had Genji glancing up,“Listen, I might be a man not above a few unscrupulous practices,but I'm not about to make a deal with devils. I'm not bribed easilyon money or small favors.”“Perhaps then, a more, shall wesay, physical offering would suffice?” Genji could feel thegaze of his father fall upon him and it made him stiffen again, handscurling into fists against his knees, “My youngest son here israther fond of you, you see. I do not think you need to check yourinformation to know of his habits. I'm sure he wouldn't mindsomething ah, exclusive with you.”
The youngest Shimada was grinding his teeth and forcing a smile ashe looked up even though he wanted to vomit. The way his father putit made it seem like he was so very willing to whore himself out toothers. He did not sleep around, to to the level everyone assumed. Hewas actually quiet picky about his partners and had some self respectabout his body. Now though he was being presented as the dolled upprize to lounge out on some man's bed.  This was the kind ofsituation that had Genji's skin crawling.Commander Reyesthough did not look amused, in fact, the glare he was giving seemedto darken as he eyed Genji up and down before turning to the Shimadapatriarch, “Is this some kind of sick joke? Offering up your ownson like he is some sort of prize livestock? I've read his dossierand I know the brat has a lot more skills to offer than just somefucking bed-warmer.”Genji blinked, looking a bit takenaback. He had entertained the thought of a polite rejection but notone filled with such anger towards his father. It seemed the Shimadapatriarch also wasn't expecting such a rebuttal, a touch of a frownon his lips.“I can assure you, this isn't some way to tryand have you assassinated-” he began only to have Reyes interrupthim with a bark of laughter. “I am not worried about beingassassinated. I'm worried that you treat some of your best assets,your best assassins and agents like utter fucking garbage. That'swhat I'm worried about. Hell, I'll take the boy off your hands justto make sure he was given proper respect and a better environment. Iwouldn't be whoring him out, that is for sure! I would make use ofhis talents, not beat him into the dirt for not conforming to yourperfect mindless robot.”
Genji blinked and he could feel a flush rising to his cheeks and astrange feeling start to creep up his spine. It wasn't anger likebefore or even disgust. It was something unfamiliar. A feeling ofthanks? Embarrassment? He was not sure. All he knew was not even hisown father spoke too well of him despite doting upon his every whimto keep his son cooperative.
Even Hanzoseemed taken aback, looking between all parties involved with aflicker of uncertainty in his usual stoic features. The only one whobore signs of any sort of fury was Reyes himself and their father whowas glaring back. “I know how to use my son's skills. Ihave worked to train him-”“He looks like he'd rather beanywhere but here at your side being told to play nice and act likehe wants to fuck the enemy. That's all I see and frankly, if that ishow you handle your people, I have even less interest working withyou.” He paused for a moment to look at Genji, for the first timemeeting the youngest Shimada eye to eye, “If he wants to come withme though, I won't say no. He deserves better than all ofthis.”Genji knew he was blushing and there was a tremor ofsome new emotion rising within him, warm and trembling with feelingshe had never really had before. Reyes only offered him a smile andnod before he rose to his feet, shooting one last glare to theirfather. “We are done, Shimada.” He turned on hisheels and left leaving Genji to swallow hard and become all to awareof how flushed he felt. He had come into this with anger andresentment and now....As Hanzo and his father quickly beganto speak, Genjimerely remained silent, dropping his gaze to his kneesand smiling slightly. Maybe commander Reyes was the sort ofmany he would like to get know better.
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askmicrowaveayem · 7 years
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MAYEM: The Crossing Pt. 8
[Previous]
[Archive] [Cast]
It was disconcerting to see Goop like that, but Kid knew he needed it, and just tried to help make his friend comfortable. Once Goop was asleep for sure, he pulled out the phone and put it on silent before texting Alphys.
‘Hey. We’re in the world for a little. Any news?’
--
A greeting came quickly after.
‘Hey!!! ^__^ How are things!? Good news here! No prototype but I think I might have an idea? :D’
--
‘Things are fine. Just stopping in to catch a nap for a few hours. What’s your idea? (This is Kid, by the way)’
--
The phone proceeded to explode with text messages, all a bit on the rambling side with plenty of emotes and exclamation points. They had mentioned using magic to feel instead, which was what she was going to try and had been studying a lot of magic books to get a grasp on it and might have figured out how to use magic as a conductor through something like a thermometer to give the illusion of feeling what the equipment was reading. It was still on paper and nothing was concrete, but it was something.
--
Kid bore the tide as best he could, trying to keep up and once or twice managing to send a text asking for clarification.
Mostly, though, he was relieved.
Alphy sounded really confident she could do something with this.
--
Only once the lengthy explanation was finished did she repeat her earlier question.
‘So how are things going?? Is he doing okay??’
--
It took Kid a long minute to realize he wasn’t reading about the new theory anymore.
‘Things are okay. Just wanted to rest up while the going was good in case we got stuck in a crazy world next (knowing our luck.) Goop is okay. Something spooked him in the last world so he’s just trying to rest up and hopefully he’ll be feeling better soon, but that’s the worst of it.’
--
‘Oh no! u_u Did he tell you what happened?’
--
‘No, he’s being private. We did talk a little bit though, and I think it helped some’
--
‘Ok! Well tell him I’m here if he ever wants to talk too, okay? n_n;;’
--
Kid grinned at the message.
‘Will do. You’re a great friend, Alphys :) ‘
‘(Did I do the face right?)’
--
‘Yes that’s a good start! ^_^ I’ll teach you more if you want sometime? Gaster didn’t seem to ever really want to learn them but I don’t think he really gets into the whole social texting thing. ^_^;;
How are you doing too anyway?’
--
‘Goop is bitter and stuck in his ways. Teach me faces so I can send them to him through morse code and watch him get frustrated.’
--
Alphys was very happy to have someone new to teach emoticons to. She ran through all of them she could think of, giving descriptions of what they meant for each one.
There were a lot.
She was happy to ramble on and on and on about them, even giving a few internet history lessons with a few on their origins.
--
Oh goodness.
Well… Gaster was happy that she was confident and excited about emoticons?
He made a mental note of a few that were interesting and finally sent off a text saying he should probably go, as he had to take a nap too, but it was good to talk with her and he was glad she was doing well.
--
Alphys gave him a long-winded goodbye and wished them both well.
Goop was still fast asleep even when the conversation had finished. He didn’t often get to relax in his own world and in a form he didn’t have to concentrate on keeping up. The emotions from the day had left him pretty rough around the edges too, which only made him more exhausted.
--
Kid didn’t wake him. He had a feeling that pitstops like these might be a good thing to make fairly regularly, at this rate, especially now that they were running into more and more upsetting, dangerous worlds, and… worlds like the last two, which weren’t so dangerous but…
Well. Anything that made Goop break down like that wasn’t exactly easy to deal with, all the same.
So Kid just sat beside him, waiting patiently for him to wake on his own.
--
All in all Goop would sleep for a good six hours, far more than he usually did. When he woke the puddle would twitch violently before swirling around, an opening peeking out to see where he was and what was going on around him.
--
Kid startled a little at the sudden, violent twitching, looking down at Goop. “You okay??”
--
The soul shifted to look at Kid. Despite his lack of any facial expression the void around him seemed tense somehow.
“Y̢eah.͠ ̶Į'm͠ ͠fi͠n̛e.̛” He said a little too quickly.
--
“That was very convincing,” Kid said, “What’s wrong?”
--
The tension melted a little more.
“... H̨a̸d͢ ́a̢ ̷dre͡am̡ ͏abo͢ut my c͡h͏il̢dhǫo̢d. ͡W͏o͢k̨e u͢p wi͞th͝ ev̶e͡ry҉t̨hi̛n͟g d̡a̵r͜k an͞d nǫt h͜a͟v͞i̴ng...͡” Goop trailed off, voice growing quiet. He didn’t finish the sentence, but it was clear where it was going.
Not having a body.
“G̨ot ̶s͡t͜a̢r͘tled ̛is ̢a̡lļ.̧”
--
Kid nodded, relaxing a little again as Goop became less tense.
“...ah. Yeah, that… that’d be a pretty startling difference.”
--
Goop was silent for a few moments.
“S̴o̧ h͢o͏w̶ ̷lon͜g͜ w͟as̴ ̵I ͢a̶sl̛ee͞p?̕”
--
“..about six hours,” Kid said, glancing around the room a moment before answering. “You were really tired.”
--
He made a whistling noise despite having no lips. Or mouth. “W̶ow.͞ S̀w̸a͟p ̵ti͠m͜e ͠I gu̢es͠ş?̸”
The void started to build up around his soul, arms bracing against the ground as a torso and head started to form.
--
Kid understood making his own voice, but he was kinda curious about that whistle.
“Sure. I won’t need too long. You feeling okay?”
--
“I think so.” Goop said, slowly standing before adding the details of his face and suit. “I’m going to work on something that grampster wanted if that’s alright while you’re sleeping.”
--
Kid nodded, and since he knew Goop was going to be working on something that would be able to distract him, he said, “Okay. And I contacted Alphys. She’s still confident her idea will work but there’s nothing for us to look at right now unless you want to read the details. And she says if you ever want to talk, she’ll be there if you’re having a rough day.”
--
He blinked and looked down at Kid. “Oh. Alright.” Goop managed a bit of a smile, “Did you tell her thanks for me?”
--
“I told her you would probably greately appreciate it,” Kid said, relaxing a bit and managing a smile back. He handed the phone over. “If you want to look.”
The conversation had been about Goop, so he had a right to know.
--
He took the phone. “Okay. Thanks.”
--
Kid nodded. “...Good luck with the favor.”
He curled up in the newly vacant spot.
--
Goop nodded and headed over to start working, grabbing one of the receivers to pull it apart and do what the old Gaster wanted in the time they had while Kid slept.
--
Kid didn’t sleep for very long. He’d had a lot of time to rest at the last world they were in, emotional distress aside.
He slept for about two hours, woke quietly, and slunk over to Goop’s work station without disturbing him.
--
Sometime during those two hours Goop had shed some of his void, setting it aside while he sat on the stool by his workbench, hunched over the communicator still modifying it. He didn’t quite look like Voidkid though, his skull a little more his own shape and his body less trying to simulate clothing and acting more as just a black placeholder to what would have been a bipedal form.
He looked more like a child version of himself than the little shattered clump of souls and didn’t seem to notice Kid wake up and walk over.
--
It was strange and a little uncomfortable to look at Goop and see a child, especially a familiar child, and… Kid decided the best course of action was probably to just not say anything or comment.
He found a place to sit down and let Goop get to a stopping place in his own time.
--
Goop would continue to work for a few moments before he turned to glance back at where Kid had been sleeping only to find that he was sat elsewhere.
He tried to hide his embarrassment and pulled the rest of his void back, quickly forming his regular body again but not doing so too quickly so as to not look as embarrassed as he felt.
--
Kid looked up as the void shifted around. “You don’t have to hurry,” he said.
--
“It’s fine.” Goop said, finishing up what he was doing before shoving the modified communicator into his chest.
“You sleep okay?”
--
Kid nodded, giving Goop a smile. “And you?”
--
“I guess.” Goop said with a lopsided smile and shrug.
He still felt a little embarrassed for being caught testing out being a kid.
“Is there anything we needed before heading off again?”
--
Kid didn’t mention it, and hoped that might soothe some of Goop’s nerves.
“Nothing but letting your kids know you’re alright if you haven’t already. We’re still fully stocked up, otherwise.”
--
“Ah, right.” Goop said, rummaging around for his phone before quickly texting back and forth a few times. He glanced over at Kid.
“You talk to yours?”
--
He shook his head and reached out for the unmodified scanner.
--
Goop handed it over.
--
For a little while, they both hunched over their respective devices, tapping away to their kids and getting caught up on distant news in their family’s lives.
Maybe they were just trying to delay from the nerves of going to the next world, though..
--
Goop caught up with both of his kids before telling them goodbye and putting the phone away for another time. Then he waited until Kid did the same.
--
Kid held onto the scanner, finished his own conversation, and looked up at Goop slowly.
“...so. Think our luck will hold..?”
...could they call the last two worlds lucky? He wanted to. They hadn’t been the sort of nightmare worlds that he remembered from before.
--
“It won’t now that you’ve said something.” Goop said flatly, even though he was joking. “Remember what happened after we got those bracelets?”
--
“Ugh,” Kid said, rubbing his eyes. “...let’s pretend I said nothing, then.”
He wanted to forget that argument, and that double-world, and that fear of Chara killing Goop’s children never existed.
He took a deep breath and tried to still himself, but just the thought of what lay ahead was enough to put him on edge.
--
Goop inhaled deeply and gave him a firm pat on the shoulder before stepping into the machine. “Just gonna make a pitstop to hand this off and then off to the next.”
--
Kid nodded, “It’s finished, then?”
He followed Goop inside and found his spot.
--
“Yeah, wasn’t too hard to put together.” Goop shrugged, closing the door behind him before setting course for the world they had just left and jumping to it.
--
Kid just nodded. “I’m sure he’ll be glad.”
It was early, early morning when they arrived, before even Papyrus was awake. The house lights were dark.
--
Goop didn’t want to wake them.
He… didn’t actually want to talk much either.
He stood outside the back door and pulled out his notebook, scribbling down a note about how it worked and he hoped it was what the Gaster wanted. Then he teleported inside to set it on the kitchen table.
--
No one noticed. No one stirred. The house remained sound asleep, and Kid waited in the machine for his friend, fidgeting nervously.
--
Goop teleported back a moment later and closed the door to the machine. He offered Kid the best smile he could muster.
“We’ll be alright.”
Always the optimist, despite how nervous he was too.
He punched in the coordinates to the next world.
--
Kid nodded and braced himself for the jump.
They landed with a thud of dirt.
There was an explosion of sound outside as soon as they emerged in the other world.
Howling.
--
Fuck.
Goop looked at Kid with a wide eye before heading for the door, hand hovering on the handle.
He flung it open, ready for a fight.
--
Dogs.
They’d been caught off guard and were bounding away from the machine in a rush, fleeing--fleeing towards what looked like the horizon of Hotland.
Deep pits of magma dotted the dark landscape, and a skeleton-shaped body lay, trampled in the dust, coughing and wheezing.
He was alive.
--
Against what was probably his better judgement Goop rushed forward to the skeleton. “Hey! You alright?”
--
Kid followed him a step or two behind, head up and eyes wide, scanning the horizon for more attackers.
The skeleton groaned, looking a little battered but able to sit up on his own, despite the dusty pawprints on his clothes and face.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine…”
He froze very suddenly after speaking and turned to look up at Goop with wide, shocked eyes.
“...what the fuck.”
--
Goop blinked, then looked around nervously and retracted his hand.
“... Uhhh….”
--
The skeleton snatched the hand, feeling over it, and then felt all the rest of the way up Goop’s arm until he reached the face. And then he felt over Goop’s face, like he wasn’t sure it was real under his hands.
“UH,” Kid agreed.
--
Goop rippled and quickly yanked his arm away, almost pooling into a puddle before reforming behind Kid and shuddering.
“What the hell, man!?”
--
Kid spread his arms out protectively in front of Goop, scowling at the stranger despite his usual instincts.
“Sorry!!” The skeleton said, standing on two legs now and not appearing hurt, holding his hands up. As he looked them over, it was clear his shock had changed. Now he just looked ecstatic. “I mean, no, it’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you! I got ahead of myself, I’m sorry. I’m from another world, too!!”
--
Goop was still rippling and uneasy, for once not being ashamed of hiding behind Kid. He didn’t like being touched like that, especially not by a Gaster he didn’t even know.
“Y- wait what?” He asked, hunched down to peer over Kid’s shoulder even though he was taller.
--
Kid figured it was better to let Goop do the talking right now.
He was fairly lost.
The skeleton in front of them still looked ecstatic, though.
A little off-balance, but ecstatic.
“Yes! You are too, right? I haven’t met another monster like us in so long, you can’t even--achoo!--it’s been so, so weird and lonely, and I only really understand Gaster, and he never takes anything seriously, so I’m just! Here? But now there’s other people!!”
--
Goop glanced at Kid again before finally standing his full height.
“... Okay I’m really lost right now and this is usually the other way around.”
--
The skeleton deflated a little, looking a bit desperate, but didn’t know what to say either, shrugging helplessly at Goop.
“I’m not from here, I--” he sneezed again, “--ugh. ...I’m from another world and y...ou know what, fuck it, let’s just go to the lab.”
He turned promptly and started trotting towards the faint outline of the lab in the distance, right where it always was, clearly expecting Goop and Kid to follow.
--
Goop eyed Kid before leaning into the machine and pulling out the chip, then quickly starting the scanner before following.
--
Kid shugged helplessly, shaking his head, but followed a moment later.
The lab didn’t have a door out front like it usually would.
It had a small, arch-like entryway that Gaster had to duck down to enter through. Kid had to do much the same.
The inside of the lab smelled like dog.
There were chew toys, bones, and ripped stuffed animals everywhere, and Gaster was talking rapidly with a good sized, long-haired black dog with dark gums and a tightly curled tail.
The dog looked at them, panting excitedly.
“This is Gaster,” Gaster said.
The dog yipped. Gaster ‘ughed’ and wiped his nasal cavity again.
--
Goop stared at everything in the lab.
Stared at Gaster.
Then at Gaster…?
“... What.”
It wasn’t even a question.
--
“I told you,” Gaster said, gaze flat an unamused. “I’m not from this world! This is Gaster! Somehow??”
The… Gaster-dog yipped happily and rolled over.
Gaster sighed and rubbed his belly. “Yes you’re a good boy. Such a good boy. Oh my goodness.”
The back leg was going.
Kid stared.
--
Goop thrust his hands out towards Dogster. “What.”
He thrust his hands out towards the bones and toys. “What.”
He thrust his hands out towards the arch-shaped door. “WHAT.”
--
“Yes. They are dogs. Yes. I know. It’s adorable.”
As Dogster enjoyed his belly rub, a few more dogs poked their heads out of nowhere and trotted in through the doors, happily shoving up against Gaster in jealousy.
Gaster wordlessly started to scratch as many heads as he possibly could with only two hands.
“Please help me. I’m the only thing with hands in a world filled with dogs.”
--
“Okay, okay, hold on.” Goop covered his face and took a breath before gesturing down to Gaster.
“In this world everyone is… a dog…?”
--
“Everyone,” Gaster said, eyes wide and a little fuzzy around the edges. “It is the best and worst thing I’ve ever experienced.”
He promptly started violently sneezing, but kept diligently petting the small hoard of dogs around him.
--
“... You’re allergic? Are you kidding me?” Goop gestured outwardly.
--
“I’m allergic,” he confirmed, nodding, sneezing again and scratching a dog’s ears. “I ran out of medicine the first week. I’m--chsodasldfjkg--kind of used to it by now, I guess?”
Kid just stared at him.
...then, he got down and started petting the dogs, too.
--
Goop still didn’t join in. He had never had pets before. Well, chickens, but still.
“Okay, how did you get here?” He asked.
--
Kid hadn’t had pets before either, but…
Well… they just looked so happy when they got their ears scratched?? How could he say ‘no’ when Gaster only had two hands and there were so many waiting? So even if it was a little weird when he ended up petting Dogster, he dealt with it.
“Well, I opened a door in my lab one day,” Gaster said.
--
“... And when you stepped through you ended up here?” Goop finished, expression falling slightly.
--
Gaster nodded, being licked in the face by a curly-haired sandy dog.  
“Yes! And I haven’t been able to find a way back at all! Gaster’s been helping me, but it’s a little out of his expertise.
Dogster lifted a paw and put it on Kid’s shoulder.
“Oh my god he has little white toes on the underside,” Kid whispered.
--
Goop looked at the crowd of dogs, still way too many to be pet by only four hands, and sighed.
“One second.”
He turned and teleported back to the ship, coming back a moment later with his extra void and sat down, using the tendrils to pet the dogs.
“Is your world not that bad then? You wanna get back?”
--
“Hm?” the other said, not appearing at all bothered by the extra void tendrils. “Well, I-I’d like more scintillating conversation back, yes.”
--
“What’s your world like?” Goop asked, hoping to maybe narrow it down to a quadrant at the very least.
--
“U-um, well, there’s normal monsters around. W-we only really have one or so dogs like this, I think? I’ve only ever seen one little white one, other than the canine units. And the, uh, the places are all the same, but we have actual names for them instead of scent markers; Hotland, Snowdin, Waterfall--um…”
He seemed a little at a loss, only knowing his world was quite different and not fully sure what the other was looking for.
--
“Above ground? Below ground? After or before the war? During the war? How many humans have fallen down? Do you have kids?” Goop asked.
--
“Below Mt. Ebott, and, er, yes, the war with humans is long over, really dreadful thing that was; I haven’t heard of any fallen humans? And no, of course not, I was far too busy for that sort of thing.”
--
“How long have you been trapped underground? Were you born before or after monsters were sealed?”
--
“Um, I think we’re going on about a thousand years now?” Gaster said, tapping his jaw, not minding he’d just scratched a dog with it and he was allergic. There was no escape at this point. He’d long accepted he would be sneezing forever unless he could leave. “And I was born a bit before. Don’t remember much. Mostly just grumpy back then.”
One of the dogs wiggled onto his lap, tongue lolling out happily.
--
Gaster nodded and pulled out his notebook, flipping to a few pages and then to a clean page and writing something down, trying to narrow down the coordinates a little, although it was still like throwing a needle into a haystack and hoping to find it later.
“How far have you gotten to getting back home?”
--
“Not far,” Gaster said, scratching a dog’s neck. “I don’t really have any idea where to start.”
--
Goop glanced at Kid, “... Well. You’ve got us for three days and I can build a time machine, so… maybe the quickest way would be to figure out your soul frequency and give you the blueprints?”
--
Kid nodded, shrugging.
It seemed like a sound plan to him.
“What good would a time machine do, though?” Gaster asked, confused. “I-I mean, thank you for your help, but--”
“Oh, uh, it’s a bad time machine,” Kid said. “But it goes through dimensions very well!”
--
“‘Time machine’ sounds better than ‘interdimensional traveling ship’.” Goop said, flipping through to a few new pages so he could start writing the blueprints to his machine for the other Gaster.
--
“That doesn’t say anything about how reassuring it is, that says something about your naming abilities.”
All the same, he stayed beside the other Gaster, helping him pet dogs and ignoring the incessant sneezing. “How long have you been here?”
“Uhhhh a couple months at least,” Gaster said, rubbing his nasal cavity again.
--
Goop looked up at Kid and narrowed his eye. “Shhhh.”
--
“Look, I’m just saying. You and Asgore share at least one thing in common, and it’s probably your naming abilities.”
--
“I don’t even name anything though. That isn’t even a name. It’s just what it does.” Goop argued.
--
“But it’s not a time machine?” Kid said, rolling his eyes. “It’s a dimensional transport.”
--
“Yeah but I didn’t know I would be going to different dimensions when I first started calling it that. I thought I would just be jumping around in time.”
--
“But that’s not calling it what it is.”
--
Goop threw his pen at him. “Shut the fuck up I’m trying to write.”
--
Kid grinned and caught the pen, throwing it back.
“Yeah, yeah.”
--
The pen stuck into his shoulder, pulling inside before reappearing in his hand. He rolled his eyes at Kid and started to write again.
--
Kid sat with Gaster, talking with him some and trying to give him some of the conversation he’d… mentioned being denied.
It helped pass the time while Goop wrote.
--
It would take a long time for Goop to write the blueprints for the machine, turning from page to page and scribbling away, ripping a few off and flipping them back and forth.
He wouldn’t finish until that night.
--
Gaster didn’t seem to mind, having long lost any sense of time outside of the times the dogs tended to do things.
They brought out food later into the night, tails-wagging and looking very cheerful. Kid didn’t ask where the food came from, but Gaster ate it quite happily. Dogster fell asleep with his head on his bipedal double’s lap a while later.
--
When the blueprints were finished he stacked them together neatly and handed them over to the other Gaster. “Okay, there’s the blueprints for the-” He paused and looked Kid dead in the eyes. “-dimensional transport.”
--
Kidster gave a quiet applause.
--
“Shithead.” Goop said, but was smiling all the same.
--
“I am showing you my earnest support,” Kidster said.
--
“Thanks dear.”
--
“Anything to boost your ego, darling.”
--
After a moment Goop sighed and rubbed his face before standing. “Alright. I’m heading back to the machine to get his soul frequency. I’ll be right back.”
He turned and was gone, tendrils and all.
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My url U_U (thanks!)
@wyvernrhadamanthyswalden
Send me your URL & I’ll do the following
Thoughts on the character:
Rhadamanthys isn't my favorite character. I never like how much of a spotlight he got when compared to the other Judges. I mean... why he was the only one to appear in the Sanctuary Arc? What were the other two doing? And more and more questions. ALthough your portrayal made him go up and up in my favorites list, he's still among the top 20. His extreme and, might I add, uncessary opness in The Lost Canvas made go down a bit. I liked that he got more personality there but.... I can't ignore how he was going around after he had HIS HEART BLASTED OFF BY REGULUS.
Have you interacted before:
YES! With my many muses XD And hopefully we will keep interacting for as long as time and roleplay time allows!
Favorite part of portrayal:
You give personality and humanity to him. In your hands, he's not Pandora's lapdog or Kanon's fuckbuddy or whatever. But you give him so much more, you expand his chatacyer without crossing that ever so thin line that makes one too OOC. I think there is not one single meme like this that I don't praise that aspect XD
One piece of advice:
STAY AWESOME
A verse (mine or theirs) I want a thread in:
Royal verses, actual human verses, imagine them as a normal family and going to school and stuff when they were younger. I don't know, the sky is the limit I think????
Thoughts on the mun:
Man, I hate Ale so much. I mean, how can I like someone who is so cool and awesome as her? Simply impossible. Ok jokes aside, I adore you and you are one of my closest friends on tumblr not to mention one of my oldest roleplaying partners. I trully love whenever we get a chance to chat (although we havent been doing that so much lately, probably due to lack of time on both sides) and I trully love all of our threads plus the different interaction with different muses.
You are trully awesome and one of the few people who put a smile on my face whenever I see online because FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND!!!
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zenosanalytic · 6 years
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Discovery: Lethe II
Ok so, first off, I just want to say that this was Everything I ever wanted Trek to be :|
Intimate, ambiguous, detailed examinations of non-human cultures
POLITICS >:] >:] >:]
diplomacy as heroic and dangerous
A Starfleet and Fed where Feelings and mental health are just as important and valued as strategic or tactical concerns.
relationships and The Personal tied directly to principles, institutions, and larger events
exploring relationships, personalities, ethics, and what it means to be alive in the World through symbolic, fantastical situations
positive, life-affirming, sympathetic, casual sex portrayed without objectification or exploitation
tortuously sympathetic villains
damaged people behaving badly and portrayed with nuance and sympathy
Trauma affecting people, affecting the World through people, and people dealing with Trauma in various ways with various levels of success and healthiness
AMANDA!
Sarek being a bad Dad
Sarek being locked in a glass-case of Emotion
People being called out on their Shit
Science officers being all “Fuck it; let’s get Weird!”
Concise, confident, tight sci-fi writing. For example: the basic idea of the mind-meld-machine is established clearly and crisply, and doesn’t degenerate into technobabble, or rely on magic disguised as tech(quantum! nano! tachyons! etc, etc). Everything clinks together, everything runs smoothly, nothing snags, contradicts, or confuses
This ep really impressed me with how incredibly savvy the crew making this show is, and how much they think about how the fanbase will potentially be reacting when they see the eps. There were moments in previous eps like this, but Lethe is repeatedly fan-conscious, and without ever endangering the 4th wall. The “Disco” sweats can be explained -it’d be easy for NBC to promote “Disco” as the preferred nick in the fandom without seeming to- but the writing for Ash in this ep, and how it interacts with the theory that he’s Voq, is just so obviously aware that people would suspect this.
The rest of this got kinda long, so I’m putting it under the cut.
Catching Ash
When Lorcas says “you fight like a Klingon”, Ash responds not by joking or treating it as a compliment(which you might expect given his ingratiating lie about his kill count), but by trying to explain it away and apologize for it, like he was worried by the comment, and in a way -“Klingon guards beating on me for 7 months, I was bound to pick something up”- that emphasizes his awareness and toughness; calculated to appeal to the sort of person Lorca has shown Ash he is. The things he says to Burnham about loss and death; the potential irony of having him, twice in the episode, emphasize and explain humanness; the way his concern for Burnham conveniently ingratiates him to Lorca(by following his orders over the mission) and builds an emotional bond with someone Lorca obvsl considers an asset; all of these have both innocuous and foreboding interpretations. There are even these little subtle touches to his performance that aren’t entirely out of the realm for a human, but oddly Klingon-aggressive: how he hits the table to emphasize the here-and-now when talking to a stranger; his sarcastic dismissiveness towards Tilly and Burnham’s discussion of her emotions. And then there’s his speech about death, failure, and loss to Burnham, something that could have easily come out of the mouth of a Voq trained to act like a human.
Even the title of the episode can be read as playing into this. Titles so far have been thematic; sometimes even used in the episode themselves. Lethe, of course, is the River of Forgetfulness in Greek Myth, on the shores of which the Dead leave the memories of their former life. But who is “Crossing the Lethe” here? Who is doing the forgetting; who is putting their past life behind them? The ep is about Sarek and Michael’s memories and bond, not the denial or loss of them. The final scene in sickbay establishes that Sarek has not forgotten the Meld which saved him in the nebula anymore than the past which binds him to Michael; he lies to avoid the shame of his betrayal, of facing the harm he’d done to Michael(a person he loves), and all the emotions that act and knowledge dredges up in him(not a terribly Vulcan way to behave, lying to avoid consequences).
The point of Michael’s role in all of this is that she hasn’t forgotten any of it. Nor has Lorca forgotten or placed anything behind; his inability to forget and refusal to heal is the engine of his subplot, of his trauma, and of his villainy, in the ep and in the series as a whole. Lorca’s attachment to the Pain he has Chosen drives him to manipulate a friend, to abandon her to torture and degradation, to push, manipulate, and oppress his crew, and to sleep with a phaser under his pillow at night.
But, if Ash is Voq, all this talk about his humanity and about what is is to be human, is a rejection of his Klingonness; a kind of forgetting. It is the final step in a deliberate, decisive setting aside of his past life for the sake of his mission to save and unify the Klingons under T’Kumva’s philosophy. And there’s another aspect to Lethe, too, which could potentially play into this; lethe also means “concealment”, and is the negated element within the Greek word for truth, alethia(lit. “unconcealment, unoblivion, unforgetfulness”). Lorca and Sarek are both concealing and dishonest in this episode but, if Ash is Voq the Torchbearer, it would also apply to him as well. It’s a very nice meta-element to the ep, a kind of non-subplot-subplot, and their deliberate cultivation of it shows an awareness of and desire to engage with the fandom which I appreciate.
Ok, so WOW; that’s a lot of text!, but I’m not done yet.
Our Faces, Our Selves
This ep had some truly great Tilly moments. The gesture she does when she says “personality” was Endearing and characterizing as Hell. Whether it was written in or if Wiseman added it herself, it’s a wonderful example of the non-aggressive physicality her performance has displayed so far. Also -though technically a Burnham moment as well- the contrast between her natural stride and the precise form Michael runs in was both Fun and Great. “Computer, green Juice, extra Green”; Perfect u_u “*whispered* computeraddsalsa... Ohmygod you are so scary!” Magnificent u_u u_u “Oh Kaaay >:|... He actually is, though.” Majestic u_u u_u u_u
The intent to make Cadet Tilly the “Emotional Heart” of the show is extremely obvious, but it actually works because of just how well executed in basically every respect(even something as small as allowing her face to be blotchy and blemished invites audience attachment) it is. And because her personality is basically that of a puppy-dog, and puppies aren’t terribly subtle either, the obvs intent doesn’t grind up against her characterization, or Wiseman’s performance. Her humor is effortless, natural, youthful, and casually disarming. The interlocking web of support between her and Burnham -Burnham teaching her the discipline of excellence and pushing her to pursue it; Tilly engaging her emotionally, sometimes even pushing, without being disrespectful- is convincing, earned through time and interaction, and endearing. That she is simultaneously in awe and protective of Burnham, yet cognizant enough of her weaknesses, and at ease/trusted enough with her, to prompt socialization when she balks out of anxiety, awkwardness, and shame, is entirely believable. And her FACE! The ways Wiseman uses her face, the subtle little things she does, in this episode are just... So Wonderful. I kinda feel like going back over the previous eps just to see if I missed similar work in them.
Frain’s face work as Sarek in this ep is equally impressive. We see more of it in the third contact, but for some reason it’s the stuff in the second contact that stood out most to me. At that point it hasn’t yet been made explicit that Burnham has an incomplete understanding of the event and Sarek’s reactions to it but here -in the minor hesitation and stony, unnatural setting of his jaw and torso as he too slowly turns away from the director; his blinking look and respectful nod to Michael; the blink-and-you-miss-it shaking of his jaw and lips; his emotion-controlling intake of breath before he breaks the bad news; his gulp and the tension in his eyes as he looks at Amanda, the pleading tone as he offers his dishonest explanation; the sorrow on his face and shameful lowering of his head as Burnham asks to leave- we see the first signs that things aren’t as they appear.
And then the third contact. In the initial struggle with Burnham his eyes are particularly important, though the angle obscures them somewhat so this is mostly done through blinking. When she asks “is it worth dying over” there is a flash of stubbornness -he opens his eyes wider, raises his head to look at her straight- followed immediately by a lowering blink and assessing rove of his eyes over her face. As she says “let me in” he blinks and looks down, considering. As he says “I never lost faith in you” he rapidly blinks two or three times, then squints. Finally there’s this little tongue-flick he does on “I will show you”, a mannerism usually associated with consideration or nervousness, that just really stood out and sold his discomfort to me.
Then his talk with the director! When Frain says “Acceptance with honors is her due” there is this wonderful chain of expressions, starting with a raise of the eyes and forehead on “Acceptance” and ending with a slight clench and drawing back, then jutting of the jaw on “due” that just screams pride, assurance, and arrogance. Sarek knew that, by the logical terms of Vulcan society, Burnham had more than earned her place. Then the blinking drawing back of his head at encountering the Director’s racism; his contained, hidden affront at not just the personal insult to his child, and thus to himself, but at the illogic of the Director’s bigotry, yet obviously too common and accepted to challenge publicly if he can voice it so openly to someone of such high social rank. So Sarek dodges the subject; moves it back away from race and the personal onto ideological grounds, hoping to turn the situation around by trapping the Director in the essential contradictions of his position while subtly seeking to defuse his anti-human bias by dehumanizing Burnham via discussing her as a work rather than a person. His face conveys this too; he turns and dips very slightly it to the left, looking partially side-eyed and from under his brow at the Director, conveying cleverness but also a self-satisfaction, as if he’s looking both at the Director, and above him at his vision of wedding Human and Vulcan cultures. The Director out-maneuvers him by turning his argument around; bringing Spock into the discussion. At “Twice” Frain snaps his head up, as if struck. Questioning Spock’s relevance his head shakes, his eyes tighten. At “Non-Vulcan” Frain gives an almost relieved negation, shaking his head, closing his eyes with brows angled down, saying “Spock is” only to be cut off by “Half-Vulcan”. Then the deepest cut; the Director, smirking, goes on to call Spock “another one of your Experiments”, not only insulting him by dehumanizing his children, but also through sarcastic irony; the Director’s tone and face expresses a suspicion Sarek is emotionally attached to them, thus his statements are also mocking these “unVulcan” feelings Sarek might have for them. And then Frain’s wiggle of the lips and blank eyes at “not-quite-Vulcans” just... DAMN!
Ok that bit was... also very long, so I’ll stop there X| But, like I said, EXCELLENT face work, both enough to convey to the humans watching his feelings, and the sort of Vulcan disciplined suppression Trek fans would expect, and I was really impressed by it. But before moving on, I just want to point out a clear but subtle irony here. Green’s performance as Burnham is far more controlled in her reactions to witnessing this racism and anguished betrayal, keeping it mostly to her eyes, and the ever-present tension between her brows. The rest of Green/Burnham’s face remains disciplined and contained in a way Frain/Sarek’s does not, nor that of the Director. Basically, her self-possession out-Vulcans both of the Vulcans present, disproving the Director’s racist arguments. Just really excellent physicality in this ep, even on the smallest details.
Sympathy for the Devil
This was a really great ep for Lorca, too.
I feel like it’s pretty clear that Lorca’s the central villain of Discovery(as much as any one person is “The Villain” rather than nebulous concepts like “misunderstanding” and “arrogance” and “cultural chauvinism”), but he’s a very well and ambiguously written, sympathetic villain. That, inevitably, invites the audience to sympathize with him and forget that he’s the villain. With the Tardigrade set free and Spore-Drive Displacements no longer getting top-billing it’s been awhile since the audience has seen  him directly harm other people. It’s been two weeks since we saw him goad his crew by playing the anguished, fearful, dying screams of human colonists over the com. And last week we saw him being friendly with SF Command, being captured, having his weaknesses taken advantage of to torture him, and seeming to think his way out of a terrible situation with insight and daring. We also saw him betrayed by Mudd, and learned his tragic backstory. All of this invites sympathy, and the forgetting of his past misdeeds.
And at first the ep reinforces that. We see him testing and extending his trust to Ash, showing concern for Burnham, risking his ship to both save a long-loved character(Sarek) and protect the protagonist, and finally reconnecting with an old friend through nostalgia and positive, respectful, mutual affection.
But under all of this -except re: Burnham and Sarek- there is a disturbing tremor. The angry, cold and calculating way he crushes that cookie; his private order to Ash; how quickly and masterfully he makes his meeting with Cornwall about their friendship, then escalates its intimacy, step by seducing step. And, just as inevitably, that tremor eventually explodes into a quake that shakes it all down. Rather symbolically(this series LOVES symbolism ^u^) it is Cornwall’s tracing of his scars which triggers his breakdown. In an instant his facade of control collapses, and Lorca goes from driven and in-control to a shaken man on the edge of breaking, sweat-sheened and begging not to lose his ship.
His trauma, in itself, only sympathizes him more of course, and how he deals with it -suppression and bluster when he can hide it, frantic deal-making and pleas when it is revealed- does so as well, to a point. Lorca is revealed once more as a manipulator, but he hasn’t yet harmed anyone. His renewed professions of concern and respect for Burnham sound like Sarek’s manipulations in reverse, but it takes the last scene -the camera panning to focus on his phaser after Lorca had abandoned Cornwall to the Klingons, paraphrasing her own words to justify it to Saru, the audience knowing that she was the only person who knew how far he had fallen and could remove him from command- to retroactively make them, and his scenes with Burnham at the start of the ep, Sinister. By casting aside an ally, friend, and lover the moment she became a threat to his power and ambition, the show reminds the audience of just how villainous and dangerous this tormented man truly is.
There’s a lot more to talk about here -I particularly think this was a very insightful episode about how this show conceives of Vulcan culture- but I think I’ll give the other issues their own posts.
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