#john just planning on annoying batman for a few minutes and then fucking off again: wouldn't you like to know

[batarangsoundsdumb]

Ma’am where is John Constantine in Bruce’s ex’s list? You know they totally fucked

my dude, I was thinking the exact same thing yesterday. but i like to imagine that bruce used to be john constantine’s booty call, but now john knows bruce is batman and bruce is trying to bury every piece of evidence of it before the justice league realises that the two biggest manwhores in the superhero community slept together, while john is constantly reminding him of it so every conversation with john constantine goes like:

john: the scratches seem like the work of a demon, or just an overeager billionaire, right love?

bruce:  if it weren’t for my no killing rule you would be dead and eviscerated right now

john: kinky

#the best thing about it is that i don't ship it: i just want them to be exes yanno #i think the ex-booty call or ex-boyfriend or ex-whatever dynamic is superior to any other dynamic #bruce realising he has to talk to john: kids. close your eyes and ears i dont know what this guy is up to #john just planning on annoying batman for a few minutes and then fucking off again: wouldn't you like to know #i think john constantine's overuse of the world 'love' is appaling and should be replaced with the more appropriate 'bruv' #john constantine in the middle of a love confession: and my heart will always belong to you bruv #bruv means bro but in british #if you're gonna make john constantine overly british please let him operate out of a nando's bathroom!!! #dc #dcu #anon #dc comics #legends of tomorrow #john constantine #bruce wayne #batman #bataranswers

[dercolaris]

Truth

Welp, a new story for all the Scriddler lovers. A drunk Jonathan is always great, isn’t it? We were talking about that a while ago, @finzphoenix and I really wanted to write it. Like an alternate version to my last Scriddler story^^ Since one of my friends were having birthday and he wished a Scriddler one I was sure to finally put it on paper. Enjoy everyone.

A song like always:

https://youtu.be/1fDdcrs9X10

This was definitely not the peaceful outcome of a large-scale birthday party that Edward Nygma had wished for that night. No, if the tinkerer looked at it soberly, it was basically the exact opposite, but what was he expecting great of these sort of events? The raven-haired man growled bitterly. Victor Fries had only turned fifty last week and had inadvertently invited the entire underground to his four walls while planning what was actually a 'small' celebration among very close friends. This was thanks in particular to a lively harlequin, who shouted the happy news out loud to the whole world - with unexpected consequences. Even the infamous Joker hadn't missed the chance to show up with his new partner Punchline, which of course completely destroyed the beautiful atmosphere of the evening in a few seconds after his arrival. After only five minutes of his presence, the tense situation between two certain women had finally escalated. From this point on, half of the guests had been feverishly busy pulling the angry women apart and preventing a massacre, while the ugly clown face was of course amused by it. So much for a harmonious, calm and civil party. The raven-haired man sighed softly and looked around the deserted street, growing nervous by every passing second, supporting the swaying body next to him in the direction of the city centre. His questionable company was constantly mumbling incomprehensible words, trying clumsily to hug the puzzler in pure helplessness. The tinkerer shook his head in disbelief. He still couldn't believe that he was actually heaving home a completely drunk Jonathan Crane. Since practically the entire range of the noteworthy scum of Gotham was represented at the party, a certain Mikołaj Brakowski also insisted on creating a little chaos among the guests. This ended with the fact that he had successfully started a very short drinking game with Scarecrow, which the Pole could of course win without any problems. After the eighth glass of vodka, the celebration was officially over for Jonathan for this evening. The older one had been able to hold up relatively well until he wanted to leave the game for a short time to go to the toilet. It appears that standing up caused a drastic increase of his alcohol level in his brain. Fortunately, Edward had been able to catch his long time friend and frequent accomplice quickly enough before he had an unpleasant encounter with the cold ground. Edward looked at the meager remains of a seasoned professor next to him and muttered almost pissed off: "Shit John. What did you even think? Fucking hell. Mikołaj's blood is practically all alcohol and you my friend drink maybe once a year, if at all. Did you actually think you could win against a well trained alcoholic?” The addressee choked slightly in response, then stumbled awkwardly over his own feet. The Riddler rolled his eyes in annoyance and tightened his grip on the brown-haired man. There was an uncomfortable silence between them, whereby the Master of Fear probably no longer noticed it properly. The lean man was abandoned by all good spirits and this also included the perception of his surroundings. Together they slowly stumbled through the darkest alleys, making their way into the remote areas of Gotham City.

Edward circled his shoulder briefly and hissed angrily: “Where the hell is Batman when you need him for once? I clearly have better things to do than play the towing service here.” Jonathan lifted his head, trying hard to look his company in the eye somehow. However, the older one failed so much that after a few seconds he squinted conspicuously and finally gave up. Scarecrow mumbled lost: “If the Bat dares to emerge, we'll kill him. It will be a piece of cake. You hold him tight and I'll give him one hit like this for example.” The Master of Fear reached out with his left hand at these words and tried to strike a powerful blow in the air, which in the end only led to the brown-haired man elegantly fell to the ground. The tinkerer was barely able to stand on his feet and stared speechlessly at his accomplice on the dirty asphalt. Jonathan grinned amused at his own failure and finally laughed indignantly into the dark night. Edward raised an eyebrow in doubt. He finally replied, almost sarcastically: “That could actually work because the Dark Knight can probably no longer defend himself properly with laughter when he sees you in this miserable state. Shall we call all of GCPD right away to have your drunken ass shipped straight to Arkham for the next few months? Just as a little marginal information: You are still being searched for the last action you did and you can't really allow yourself to be reckless right now.” The older man snorted softly, waved his hand with a smile and tried to sit up with difficulty. He carefully pulled himself up on the Riddler, swaying slightly from one side to the other. Jonathan took a deep breath, then slurred: "As long as they put me in a cell with you, I don't really care whether I'm in Arkham or not, Edward." The raven-haired frowned and dragged the Master of Fear a few steps further. He was really just babbling nonsense right now. Normally the puzzler would internally cheer such an adventure with the collected psychiatrist, but thanks to Jonathan he was now in a little mess himself. The tinkerer was also targeted by investigators two weeks ago due to a more or less successful break-in and there was probably no better opportunity to catch him than at this moment. It wasn't his plan to go to bed in the psychiatric ward for the next few weeks just because he had generously done his tipsy friend a favour. In Scarecrow's case, tipsy was an absolute understatement. The raven-haired groaned annoyed and replied grumbling: “Of course, John. Just the presence of me truly enhances every situation in your life, but I still don't feel like sitting in a musty cell again and watching the psychiatrists in their own madness. So do me a fucking favour and pull yourself together for at least the next ten minutes."

The brown-haired man blinked a few times, but then slowly nodded. Together they managed a few meters until the older one began to speak inappropriately loudly again: "Do you actually know how much I value you?" The Riddler couldn't help but laugh dryly. He clawed the Master of Fear's rancid turtle neck sweater and replied in mock surprise: “Oh, really John? I understand you, of course. Who, within the radius of my humble divinity, would not at some point become awestruck and finally accept that my personality represents an enrichment in everyday life. ""Exactly, " Scarecrow slurred unusually happily and continued mumbling, "I'm always happy when we work together or do something stupid. You know that's probably the only positive thing about my underground career. Without the whole shit with the Bat or the GCPD, I would never have met you and I would miss you as a close friend." The addressee almost choked on his own spit and stopped abruptly in the side street. Had he just heard right? The puzzler looked into the older man's icy blue eyes, searched for the hidden lie in his statement. He didn't find what he expected. The tinkerer chewed lightly on his lower lip and mumbled almost confused: “Would you really miss me? Has the alcohol completely clouded your mind now?” The Master of Fear swayed much more suddenly, took two steps back, uncertainly, until he leaned his back against the cold stone wall. He smiled happily, clung to the bricks with his hands and said softly: "I don't rule that out completely, of course, but there is always evidence of a bit of truth in the words of a tipsy man." Edward crossed his arms over his chest, studied the relaxed-looking face of his accomplice. He had never seen the former psychiatrist like this. He clucked his tongue and replied dryly: “You are not just a little tipsy, John. In my opinion you can calculate your current alcohol level based on your flag alone and that should mean something.” The brown-haired man started to laugh out loud at this statement. That seemed to be the night of his life. As much as the inventor loathed the questionable state of the Master of Fear, there was a part of him that gave Jonathan a little break from his heavy thoughts. The last few months had not been easy for the older man. The tinkerer couldn't help but smile a little himself. Scarecrow started to speak again, the voice a wild mixture of different pitches and clearly incorrect word stresses: “I think you have a point. Then I'm just drunk. I certainly don't want to argue with you tonight.” The Riddler rubbed his stubbly chin, lightly stroked his three-day beard. They were a good two blocks from the former psychiatrist's apartment. How should he convince his accomplice to come with him and not continue this senseless conversation here at the wall in the icy wind? Edward saw nothing more in this conversation than a meaningless string of confused thoughts from an otherwise extremely brilliant head.

Jonathan was one of the few villains he could really rely on one hundred percent and with whom a high level conversation was possible. They had a more than peculiar dynamic, which regularly caused a lot of speculation in the underground about how a collaboration between the two could even be possible. In one moment they literally wanted to turn each other's necks only to in the next moment forcefully pull the other off the road when a truck raced at full speed towards the person concerned. Edward rarely wished badly for the lean man, but would never publicly admit that fact. They treated each other in the presence of other villains like bitter rivals who never gave each other anything, but had to fall back on each other again and again in order to get ahead due to the small selection of capable brains in Gotham. Only Selina seemed to have known for a long time that reality was different. The inventor pushed his thoughts aside and replied unusually factual: “For once I don't want to argue with you today also. Come on, I'll take you home now. You look like you're falling asleep right here against the wall. A bed is surely more comfortable, isn't it?” With these words he stepped carefully towards the older man. Scarecrow suddenly stopped smiling and stared into the Riddler's eyes. Edward stopped moving and shuddered slightly from the unexpected intense eye contact. Jonathan suddenly seemed almost sober again. The thin man wrinkled his nose slightly and said calmly: "A bed would be fine with me, but only if you keep me company in this tonight." The raven-haired man's opals grew large, a light shade of red settled on his cheeks. He stuttered uncertainly: “Why on gods earth should I keep you company in your bed? Are you afraid of choking on your own vomit in your sleep or how should I understand that question?” The former psychiatrist slid down the wall a bit unexpectedly quickly when he tried to pull away from it. The Master of Fear shrugged his shoulder slightly and seemed to accept his fate of not be able to take a step alone in the next few hours. He focused again on the younger one in front of him and mumbled back: "No, that's really not my point, Edward. I was watching you closely at the party today and yes, I can deny it any way I want: I can't stop looking at you. You are just beautiful.” The inventor's mouth opened, but no words came out of his throat. He was speechless. Before Edward could say anything about it, the former psychiatrist continued: “And I'm not just saying that because I had a glass or two too many. Seriously, if I could muster up even a little courage towards you, I would finally tell you how I really feel about you.” The tinkerer felt his heart beating faster in his chest. So it wasn't just his imagination that something special had been developing between them for weeks.

The raven-haired man trembled slightly and whispered hoarsely: "And how do you feel for me now, John?" The older one grinned from both ears, slowly blushing in the cold air of the icy december. Scarecrow closed his eyes and said almost euphorically: “If I could actually muster up the courage at some point, I would tell you in detail that you are the fulfilment of my wildest dreams. Smart, unique, creative - and take a look at yourself in the mirror. You take the breath away from half of the citizen in Gotham when you walk down town. That is also the reason why I would probably never dare to take this step. Why should someone like you come to terms with a repulsive figure like me when you basically have the free choice of possible partners. Besides, I don't even know if you're interested in men at all and I'm not more likely to scare you off if I try hard for you." Edward almost dropped his jaw at this response. Was he drunk or hallucinated himself? The younger one bit his lower lip hard, looking again for the lie in the words of the Master of Fear. He spoke very hesitantly: "This is a very bad joke from you, isn't it?" To his amazement, Jonathan shook his head vigorously. The brown-haired groan softly and mumbled dejectedly: "I sometimes wish it was a joke. Anyway, you will find out all of this once I can show enough courage. I really hope that you won't turn away from me then." The Riddler was forgetting to breath for a second, his mind racing around wildly. He felt a lump in his throat and felt his mouth go dry. Words. Damn it, words. So many words were missing at once. His vocabulary wasn't big enough for such a situation. When Jonathan opened his eyes again, the voices in his head suddenly fell silent. The expression in the opals of the former psychiatrist made all doubts disappear. What remained was an insatiable desire for unknown closeness and security in a person who probably liked him in some certain way, if not to say loved him. Edward swallowed hard and closed the last gap between them with one more step, placing his hands next to each of the thin man's hips. Jonathan became as rigid as a pillar of salt, hardly dared to breathe. The body of the tinkerer pressed clearly against that of the brown-haired man. At that moment, the younger boy was no longer really bothered by the penetrating smell of alcohol from the Master of Fear mouth. The Riddler hesitated for a moment, but then put his lips gently on his partner's. Scarecrow winced in surprise. After a few seconds he returned the unexpected kiss and cupped the raven-haired man's neck with his hands, pulling him closer to him. What happened after the first kiss between them that night was hidden under the veil of a lively city that rarely revealed the fate of two people.

#DC #Batman #ArkhamVerse? #Jonathan Crane #Scarecrow #edward nygma #Riddler #Scriddler #Riddlecrow #Drunk but happy #Love #Give them a hug pls #finzphoenix #Story for Mellow #Thanks to Shin-Arei of course!

[amostimprobabledream]

My thoughts on Peaky Blinders...

Now I’ve finished Season Five, I wanted to get out my thoughts/ideas/opinions regarding the show. So strap in! - So first of all, the fucking cinematopgraphy in this series is gorgeous. You could take almost any scene and it looks like a painting. The lighting, the way it’s staged, it’s all just so visually pleasing to look at. My inner film student was just sighing dreamily at the shot composition. There’s a shot of John, Arthur and Tommy walking somewhere and you could fucking frame it and put it in your wall. - CILLIAN MURPHY, CILLIAN MURPHY, CILLIAN MURPHY. I mean, I always knew he was a good actor and also a pretty one, I think the role I remember him best in is Batman Begins, but holy shit, I never realised how hot he is until like two months ago. I know he apparently hates his Tommy haircut, but good lord, he can pull it off. The cheekbones! The eyes! The eyelashes! The sexy voice! Needless to say I saw him and immediately developed the biggest fucking crush. Apparently when I talk about Tommy to people my face goes pink. Thank you so much, show, for enlightening me to this human. Tommy is such a fantastic character, and I do wonder if another actor could pull him off quite as well. So much debate over his actions, motives, mindset, etc. I could probably write essays about the complexities of Tommy, but I won’t because this is a long-ass post anyway. He’s such a boss and I would die for him. - I actually really like Arthur??? So the very first clip of PB I ever saw was accidental, when I happened to turn the TV on and the Blinders were taking over the Eden Club and Arthur was glassing a guy in the face. I thought, “Oh, he’s probably like the dangerous thug character everyone is scared of.” (I didn’t know he’s Tommy’s brother at the time.) But actually he’s kind of endearing despite being the Shelby’s pitbull? Idk, the concept of the “failure” elder brother, how Arthur is the character the verbalises PTSD the most out of everyone, how one minute he can be lashing out like a rabid bear and then sobbing like a kid the next... I’m always like, “Oh, Arthur,” because you can see he wants to be a better person, but he just...doesn’t know how. - JOOOHN. I miss him! And it’s weird because in the early parts of the Season John doesn’t DO much but tag around after Tommy and Arthur, but his marriage to Esme is actually So Good and again, he’s actually kind of a softboi under the hard gangster act. (Also his “Do THIS, John, Do THAT, John, KILL YOUR FOOKIN’ TEACHER, JOHN!” is so fucking good.) He kind of provides a lightness when contrasted to Tommy and Arthur that I really do miss, because the last two Seasons have been very grim and I think John’s absence has something to do with it. I liked Esme too, even if she’s a stroppy bitch, her love for John but resentment of her role in the family and also she’s HELLA PRETTY. I’m sad her character has gone for now, but at least she wasn’t killed off. - I also love Ada a lot - I was really shocked when I read that Sophie Rundle hasn’t been acting all that long before she got the part in PB, because honestly she’s very good! And her concept again is a fun one - the only girl in a family of violent gangster boys. (Or as Freddy puts it, “The only princess”, which she is.) Having said that, I’m not sure how I feel about Ada’s character arc over the course of the season. In One she came off as kind of childish and still sort of stuck in her Rebellious Teen phase, then she became a mother and Freddie died, then in Season Two she’s trying to distance herself from the family and go legit, then in Season Four and Five she’s helping run the business and taking money from Tommy. Idk, I wish she’d play a more major role like her brothers because her motivations seem to change based on what the screenwriter wants, not what feels natural for her. Plus it annoys me that Ada blamed Ben Younger’s death on Tommy, but Tommy gets a lot of blame for things that aren’t his fault so I guess he’s used to it. Still, Ada is still a lot of fun when she does get to play a big role and gets some great lines later on. “Tommy Shelby is going to stop a revolution with his cock.” - POLLY, MY QUEEN! Easily the best woman on the show (sorry, Ada) and such a fucking badass. She’s definitely the voice of reason within the family and conflicting loyalty is a really interesting theme that gets explored with her, between her arguing nephews and niece, between her family or whether she wants to marry again and leave, her relationship with Michael, it’s all so great. Helen McRory is such a brilliant addition to the show. Also I love that Polly kinda represents women taking over after all the men went away to war and now they’re back, but the women aren’t just going to creep back into the house - World War One changed the workplace forever for women and I think Polly being the second in command after Tommy reflects that really well. - I think overall my favourite seasons have been Seasons One, Two and Four, I tend to find I get a bit bored in Peaky Blinders whenever it gets especially heavy on politics like in Season Three and Five and I admittedly kind of miss the simplicity of the early days of the show when it was about horse-racing, but the Changretta vs Shelby feud was genuinely really gripping and Adrien Brody was also Very Good. (I mean, I couldn’t take him seriously because of Brodyquest, but I like him a lot.) - I HATE GRACE. There, I said it. And honestly I have SO MUCH to say on why I hate her and also why I think she is the epitome of bad writing that has happened on this show that I might as well save it for a whole nother post, but Tommy and Grace’s relationship always felt so unnatural and forced to me, like they are in love because the screenwriter said so - Grace is the only woman Tommy knows who isn’t related to him and also because it pisses off Campbell. Like, she was tolerable if highly irritating in Season One, but then Two came along and she just got worse and worse. She’s annoyingly convinced she’s better than everyone else, pulls off a LOT of questionable shit that NO-ONE except Polly ever pulls her up on and Tommy repeatedly pining over a woman who lied to him and betrayed him makes no goddamn sense. I wish Stephen Knight would just let him get over her, because her showing up over and over again in the show after the bitch died two Seasons ago is so infuriating I want to throw my remote at the TV. The best bit of Season Three was someone finally putting a bullet in her, honestly. /rant - On that note, I really wish that they’d use May properly. She was introduced in Season Two and honestly her chemistry with Tommy is about a thousand times more believable than anything he had with Guuuhrayce and also May doesn’t consistently talk in that annoying, breathy voice and also she doesn’t shamelessly manipulate Tommy constantly. It’s too bad Stephen Knight couldn’t get Charlotte Riley back for Season Three owing to her pregnancy, because I think the trajectory of the show would have been very different. But her scene where she spoke about her husband and tried to hide that she was crying? So good. The fucking Face Tommy gives her when she asks for a mixer in her gin? Priceless. Agh - May’s been chronically underused in the show but she keeps getting mentioned every now and then, so I’m hoping there are plans for her to come back in Season Six. I really like her and I honestly think Tommy/May has been the best relationship he’s had, because it’s the only one that’s felt A) Natural and B) Equal. - Lizzie Stark. Okay, so I have mixed feelings about Lizzie. I liked her in Seasons One and Two, because she was this down-on-her-luck woman who was treated like crap by everyone, but she wasn’t wholly without her own flaws or personality - she did lie to John and Tommy did act in his brother’s best interests to tell him the truth. The scenes she had with Tommy in Season Two when he promotes her to his secretary were honestly very cute and my heart broke for her when that solider nearly (?) raped her in Season Two and she cried in John’s arms. But over time she’s started to irritate me. I know that people feel bad for her because Tommy honestly does treat her badly at times, though other times she’s also one of the few people he’s nice to, their relationship is complicated. But truthfully I don’t see Tommy/Lizzie every working out properly because Lizzie was a whore. She’s always been Tommy’s inferior and while I do think he cares for her, she never seems to think it’s enough. He doesn’t love her enough and she’s never satisfied with it and she’s always resentful of him. But you can’t FORCE someone to love you and it’s interesting that the minute she learned she was pregnant, you could see her thinking of how to make this work. She pulled the Baby Trap on him just like Grace did and got married like she wanted, but Tommy still doesn’t truly see her as his equal. And honestly, I don’t think she’s smart enough for him. Add that to Lizzie being EXTREMELY petty to other women (including her being really rude to May and slut-shaming her - bit rich from you, isn’t it, Lizzie?), and I don’t think they have a healthy relationship. I do like little Ruby a lot (way more than Charles, who is a spoiled brat because he’s Grace’s son and has a martyred dead mummy), but honestly I don’t see Tommy/Lizzie working out. I just hope that she doesn’t leave and take Ruby, I think it’d break Tommy to have his daughter taken away from him. - Alfie Solomons. So...I have to confess I have mixed feelings about Alfie. I liked him in Season Two because he’s batshit crazy, Tom Hardy is clearly having the time of his life and it’s refreshing to have a rival to Tommy who isn’t cartoonishly evil like Billy Kimber or Sabini. He ties into Season Two very well and yeah, I can see why he’s so popular. Also he’s pretty attractive, so that always helps. But. Alfie is starting to come across a bit like a creator’s pet to me. He consistently betrays Tommy every goddamn Season and while I know the fandom love to joke about this, it’s pretty inexplicable that Tommy would bother to continue to do business with him after being burned so many times and now it turns out he’s alive. Why? Why bring Alfie back? I feel like he was brought back because he’s a fan favourite and to add another suspect to who betrayed Tommy. I don’t hate Alfie at all, but I am starting to wish he’d face actual consequences for his actions, considering every Peaky Blinders character who fucks with the Peaky Blinders tend to suffer horribly for it, but not Alfie...for some reason. - Michael. Okay so Michael’s actor is pretty damn good and I thought it was cute that he and John’s actors are actually brother irl - you can see the resemblance. And honestly bringing back Polly’s missing kids was a really clever idea because there’s a family tie, but one that isn’t so strong you can always be sure of where his loyalties lie. His subplot with Father Hughes in Season Three was both very sad and very well done - I was cheering him on the whole way. But Season Five has made my opinion of Michael take a dramatic nosedive. He’s gone from sorta-sympathetic to an entitled brat almost overnight. I get he’s probably salty about being banished to America by Tommy in Season Four, but where has this sudden desire to rule the company come from? How did he meet Gina? Is he lying about Gina being pregnant because he figured it’d win him sympathy? I don’t know. He’s changed so drastically, and when Polly gave him that slap, I think she was doing what everyone wanted to. It’s too bad they just wrote Anna off as being dead, though, Michael having a sister and Polly a daughter would have been interesting. - The music?? Is so good?? I love it! Especially the themesong, obviously, but so much of it is always ON POINT. It makes me wanna buy the entire soundtrack. - Unpopular opinion, but I think Campbell was the best antagonist of the show, mainly because he was a vile person but still believable and had the best dynamic with Tommy.  - Season Five was honestly kind of hit-and-miss for me, it seemed like a lot of people are pissed at Tommy for fairly silly reasons in the beginning and I just didn’t find the political subplot all that interesting...but I still will definitely tune into Season Six. (Also these are all just opinions, so please don’t send me hate if you don’t like something I’ve said. Ain’t nobody got time for that.)

#Peaky Blinders #Tommy Shelby #Arthur Shelby #John Shelby #Ada Shelby #Polly Gray #Michael Gray #Esme Shelby #Grace Burgess #May Carleton #Lizzie Stark #Alfie Solomons #Chester Campbell #Blogging #Thoughts