#john constantine in the middle of a love confession: and my heart will always belong to you bruv

[batarangsoundsdumb]

Ma’am where is John Constantine in Bruce’s ex’s list? You know they totally fucked

my dude, I was thinking the exact same thing yesterday. but i like to imagine that bruce used to be john constantine’s booty call, but now john knows bruce is batman and bruce is trying to bury every piece of evidence of it before the justice league realises that the two biggest manwhores in the superhero community slept together, while john is constantly reminding him of it so every conversation with john constantine goes like:

john: the scratches seem like the work of a demon, or just an overeager billionaire, right love?

bruce:  if it weren’t for my no killing rule you would be dead and eviscerated right now

john: kinky

#the best thing about it is that i don't ship it: i just want them to be exes yanno #i think the ex-booty call or ex-boyfriend or ex-whatever dynamic is superior to any other dynamic #bruce realising he has to talk to john: kids. close your eyes and ears i dont know what this guy is up to #john just planning on annoying batman for a few minutes and then fucking off again: wouldn't you like to know #i think john constantine's overuse of the world 'love' is appaling and should be replaced with the more appropriate 'bruv' #john constantine in the middle of a love confession: and my heart will always belong to you bruv #bruv means bro but in british #if you're gonna make john constantine overly british please let him operate out of a nando's bathroom!!! #dc #dcu #anon #dc comics #legends of tomorrow #john constantine #bruce wayne #batman #bataranswers