Transitioning Sun from the 12th house ♓️ to 1st house ♈️
(Spiritual mirroring)
When the illusion is lifted, everything feels like it doesn’t belong. You begin to lose trust in your judgement. Now, everything adds weight as your trying to measure and compare.. it’s such an uncomfortable space to be in. Finally, unleashing the beast within to explore the wild. It feels dangerous. There’s no rules here, instead everything roams freely. Now it’s up to me to decide where I want to be. There’s no longer any structure to allude purpose. It’s all about survival or simply creating something out of nothing. My heart is broken on all sides at this point. I’m forced to find my identity now that I’ve gone to the lengths of spiritual darkness. I’m depressed because the things I used to turn to for guidance is no longer working for me. I guess that’s growing pains. Feeling the sensations of outgrowing the box you put yourself in. Mourning the loss of every layer you’ve shed. For every phase of death there is rebirth. Now it’s time to move on.
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Mental space vs. physical space 🤜💥🤛
May be at odds
This creates insecurities
The collective energies today are experiencing:
⁃ not being able to emotionally handle being in both places at the same time. Meaning dealing with your mental as it contributes to how you participate in your physical reality.
⁃ Your mind may be tricking you into believing that if you move into another environment or space physically, you’ll be able to avoid these odds/ inconsistencies
⁃ However, the issue lies with your self. There is conflict, because you’re either forcing yourself to conform or rebelling against what you’re surrounding yourself with.
⁃ Both are opposing energies, a resistance to change. Change starts internally first, then externally. So, trying to create change in your environment before you allow yourself to align with that mentality to even handle the change you end up creating this friction and frustration.
⁃ You have to know that you are in control of what you entertain, regardless of what is around you. Allow yourself to feel your way into new spaces first and then manifest it physically. Otherwise, you’ll end up missing opportunities that help support your decisions.
⁃ Once you backtrack, or close the door on your opportunities you can put yourself in a position where you’re stuck/ lost in that “what if” mindset to the point where you have to do more work to get yourself out of that before you can recreate those opportunities again.
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These past few weeks have felt like the mid scene of a horror film, psychologically speaking. I felt like as a collective, we all simultaneously had a brief moment of giving up. It felt like an earthquake to my soul and now we’re dealing with the aftershock. We see a cliff and we assume it’s the end of the story. Believe me, there’s always another side.
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Ego Depth: The journey beyond ego death
Lifting the veil
Finding your identity beyond the constructs that you’ve created for yourself in this life.
The experiences that you’ve been through that has shaped your mentality. I believe that we are always true to our nature but it is the mentality that is created in response.
This is why traumatic events have such a pull in our minds because we use these triggers to identify what role a person, place, or thing plays in our lives. We can call it an energy signature.
Energy signature is something that is recognized, even if it appears to be in a different form. For example, when we dream, no matter how distorted or “off” a person may look you’ll always be able to tell who they represent by how their energy makes you feel.
Our emotions, thoughts, and feelings get recycled. We know that energy cannot be destroyed.
When we were children we trust the guidance of our parents, family, and whoever we looked up to, to help us understand this world. We can only learn this life through experience anyway. So the influence of what was around us became the normal reality that we existed in. Our little mental boxes that our minds collected and labeled become a part of our perspective
So part of our identity is our true nature, who we are at the core but this gets filtered through whatever we use to relate ourselves to what we see.
For me I was raised In the church, so christianity was what I identified with throughout my childhood. Everything I did, eventually filtered through my conviction that was learnt in the church. My parents instilled this outlook
Burdens of Self and Others
Now we all pick up on other people’s feelings and such so we are all empathic. We can also identify with how other people make us feel
This is why bullying is so traumatic because we often personalize ourselves to how we are treated. Even the strongest person in the world emotionally, has that one person that has the potential to destroy that confidence. People can use these triggers against you.
Not everyone has allowed themselves to analyze their own traumas, when you suppress those growing pains you end up embodying how they feel to you.
So now your awareness of self is trapped in the subconscious, it’s inactive. Your awareness is your clarity, so you’re reliving these burdens because you won’t allow yourself to see through your hurt. Blinded by the pain.
Growth requires awareness, acceptance, adaptability. Age doesn’t matter. You can be 50 years old and your mind is trapped inside the mental space of who you were when you were 10 years old.
Love does not exist without self-love. I cannot give you what I haven’t given to myself ok we know this
Identity is identifying
Our identity is neither past, present, nor future. We cannot solidify ourselves because we live in these three simultaneously.
Redefining yourself
We have to redefine what we consider to be present reality
Our present is our presence, me presenting myself
So my identity is the awareness of myself.
Someone could say “Oh well then my identity is present because I’m being present.” But listen to that. You don’t just exist you are experiencing your existence. So while you are YOU, you are also the reflection. That is timeless because it’s continuous. I cannot exist if I don’t exist in the future and in the past.
Open your heart and Clean your space
Maintain that connection with yourself that no one else can reach. Leave a part of you that is only meant for you to experience and understand. That creates that special relationship, that self love
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Healing is bravery. Letting go is bravery. Moving on is bravery. Freedom is bravery. Give yourself a chance to see the light instead of holding yourself hostage in dark places. I have a habit of brooding over things I can’t change. That’s where my controlling behavior kicks in, I’d stress and stress until I’m forced to face acceptance. Lately, Ive been imagining myself surrounded by water and I relax all the muscles in my body so I can feel light enough to float.
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If you are watching this, you may feel a lack in support within this educational system. We understand that school may not be for everyone, but I want to go further and understand why. Let's open up and discuss how it feels to be a free thinker in a column-based society. They can label us ADD, Depression, anxiety, etc. But if I have to take medication in order to fit into this system, I think it's time for me to create my own.
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