#joanna.selfpara

[fatelincs]

Joanna Self Para 2 || Not the Menopause

“Right then Jo, I have a degree of good news. Or at least as a fellow woman I consider it good news others may disagree and you’re of course free to. But anyway. It’s not the menopause.” Dr Barker was an old friend of Joanna’s, one she could trust to be discreet but at times she was far too energetic for Jo and this was one of those times.

“If it’s not the menopause, and I am with you on that being good news, then what’s wrong with me?” Joanna had been rundown for weeks now and she’d been happy to focus on anything else blaming any symptoms on grief. It was only when both Farren and Audrey had ganged up on her that she’d come in for tests a few days ago. It seemed like an age in between appointments now, before the twitter feed had dropped and ruined her life even more.

“Well em, that is why I said a degree of good news. The rest could either be absolutely lovely or something that we can talk about later.” Dr Barker was avoiding eye contact now and Joanna couldn’t help the spike of worry that was starting to build. “The blood tests showed a rise in hormone hCG.” The doctor paused clearly expecting some reaction but Jo could only stare back, science never was her strong point. “It means you’re pregnant Jo,”

It was as if someone had physically taken all the air out of the room and it took a moment for Joanna to actually take in what Barker had said let alone what it meant for her.

“I can’t be pregnant. I, that’s not possible. I’m fairly certain you’ll have seen my medical files for gods sake.” Joanna wasn’t meaning to sound annoyed but she was a little frustrated, ignoring the small bud of hope for now.

“I did read them, and whilst it certainly wasn’t meant to be this easy to get pregnant it wasn’t impossible. Just, highly improbably. From the hormone levels and the other symptoms you listed we’d say you’re about ten weeks along.” Barker explained gently. She was going to go into more detail but the look on Jo’s face made her stop. “We can do an ultrasound if that helps you believe it?”

Ten Weeks. Joanna tried to do the maths in her head figuring that that date would likely put her just before her dad’s death. It tracked, she and Thomas certainly hadn’t been intimate since then. The offer of an ultrasound made her give a small nod. She wasn’t about to believe this until she had something tangible in front of her. The doctor was lovely about it getting her up onto the bed before grabbing the portable ultrasound.

“Now I don’t want you to worry about the quality. This is just one for the medical practice so, if you decide what you want to do, you can make an appointment at the hospital and they’ll be able to give you a better idea of what’s going on.” Joanna gave another small nod unable to put her thoughts into words as the cool gel made her fidget... and then suddenly it was in front of her. She couldn’t quite make out details on the small machine but it was definitely a baby.

As hellish as her week had been Joanna couldn’t have stopped the spark of joy that came from looking at the screen if she’d wanted to and as Barker tried her best to point out some of the details she could see the joy only grew along with her smile.

Joanna came away from the appointment with more information than she’d ever expected, lists on what to eat and what to avoid and what she could do to make sure they were both healthy and she knew she’d take it all onboard. But in amongst all those lists and notes was something far more important. Four copies of the ultrasound, one for her, Farren, Thomas and Audrey. She knew she’d tell Farren as soon as possible, with everything going on she didn’t want to risk that her daughter would find out from someone else.

It was an unexpected turn of events but as she walked back out of the doctor’s surgery and towards her car she couldn’t quite wipe the grin off of her face. Because, finally, she was given news that came with a little bit of hope and happiness attached.

#joanna.selfpara #I legit can't think of a title so enjoy #I'm also imagining a very frantic Emma Thompson as the doc so enjoy that #too #infertility tw #fertility issues tw #pregnancy tw #just casually dropping this on the dash then walking away