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365days365movies · 3 years
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January 3, 2021: Cliffhanger (1993)
Sylvester Stallone.
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The Italian Stallion here is one of the most prominent action movie stars of the ‘80s and ‘90s, coming to prominence with Rocky in 1976. And before we even start this review, here’s the deal: I refuse to make fun of the man’s iconic voice. Yeah, I get it, we’ve all shouted “YOADRIAAAAAAH!” at some point, but his voice and face is due to a botched birth, which pinched a nerve and caused permanent facial paralysis. We all got something, and I’m not gonna target him for it. It’s been done enough.
I also can’t really comment on his acting ability. Why? Well...OK, some confession time. I’ve BARELY seen Stallone in a film. That’s going to be fixed this year, as I’ve added many of his films to the list for 2021. So, what have and haven’t I seen? Let’s start with haven’t, shall we?
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I haven’t seen:
Rocky (1976): Sports November
Rocky II (1979): maybe Sports November
First Blood (1982): later this month
Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992): Please. Please don’t make me.
Cliffhanger (1993): Give it a minute.
Demolition Man (1993): Science Fiction September
Judge Dredd (1995): maybe Science Fiction September
The Expendables (2010): later this month
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I have seen:
Tango and Cash (1989): Dumbass buddy cop movie with Stallone and Russell; 2/5.
Antz (1998): Sub-par Dreamworks rip-off of an already kinda sub-par Pixar movie; 2/5
Spy Kids 3: Game Over (2003): Yeah...I saw this in theaters, on my birthday. I saw everything in red and green for, like, an hour afterwards. Worth it. 2/5.
Rocky Balboa (2006): Somehow, this is the only Rocky movie I’ve seen, Creed included. And from what I remember, it was fine. 3/5.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017): The ONE good Stallone movie I’ve seen, and it isn’t even a Stallone movie. 5/5.
So, yeah, I haven’t seen any good Stallone movies, sans the one. But now, some of you are probably asking another question: “Why Cliffhanger? You literally haven’t seen any major Stallone movie, so WHY CLIFFHANGER?”
First of all, I think everybody’s kinda slept on this movie. It was a big success back in the day, but people have basically forgotten it at this point. You’ll see in this review that there aren’t even many GIFs from the movie made, and it wasn’t easy to find enough clips to make my own, honestly. Does it deserve to get slept on? I mean, we’ll see, right? 
Secondly, I just watched a Tom Cruise movie where he dangles off of a rope, and I liked that, so why not do that for the next one, I guess! And third...honestly, I saw this on the list, and it kinda just spoke to me. It called to me, like a boxer calling to his love. Hey, look, a reference to a movie I’ve never seen. We’ll get there. We’ll get there. Oh, and SPOILERS from here on out, by the way.
Recap
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We start on a cliff. Surprise.
Michael Rooker (y’know, Yondu from Guardians of the Galaxy) is hanging out (HA!) with his girlfriend Sarah on a cliff called the Tower. Y’know, third date kinda stuff. First date is dinner, second date is dinner and a movie, and third date is free-climbing up a cliff to your near death. Well...near is a strong word…
ANYHOOOO, We meet Gabe, played by the big man himself, Sly Stallion, who’s a rescue ranger in the Rocky Mountains. So, Rocky, the Rockies Rescue Ranger is sent to save Yondu and Sarah. Unfortunately...someone forgot to check the equipment before the rescue mission…
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Not gonna lie, this scene is actually heart-wrenchingly tense. And the ending...well, if you’ve seen Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls...you know what happens here. And it’s actually somewhat traumatic, for Gabe and for me. Seriously. It’s a roughie.
Cut to almost a year later, and Gabe is...NOT OK. He and his wife, Jessie (who is a pilot for the Rescue Rangers, and was there when Sarah fell), have been separate, and Gabe just can’t do it anymore. And I get it, honestly. That was a hard experience, losing someone and blaming yourself. And no, it wasn’t Gabe’s fault. But to add insult to injury, he has NO SUPPORT SYSTEM. His wife doesn’t seem to understand, his former best friend Yondu hates him (getting GotG Vol. 2 flashbacks), and he’s basically all alone. Geez. You guys are jerks.
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Meanwhile, a plot is afoot! And hey, it’s Tripp from CSI: Miami, AKA Rex Linn! I always liked him, so it’s cool to see him in other roles. Turns out, though, that Tripp is working with a group of thugs to steal from the US Treasury. This villainous group of 8 thugs is led by John Lithgow, AKA Lord Farquaad from Shrek, who is channeling Hans Gruber from Die Hard, and trying super-hard on that British accent. Anyway, after a pretty great mid-flight action sequence, the group of thugs loses 3 suitcases of money, amounting to millions. In the process, they also lose Expendable Thugs #1 and #2. This will be a trend. 
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The thugs crash their plane into the mountain, killing Expendable Thug #3 in the process. They stage a rescue situation to get some expert mountain climbers to help them find the money. Jessie, after having just told her hubby to suck it up like a big boy (I don’t really like Jessie, by the way), begs him to help find these people. Reluctantly, he agrees, and has a tension filled reunion with his former best friend, who blames him (unfairly, in my opinion). That animosity disappears as soon as they find themselves held hostage by the thugs. And so, the money hunt begins!
First suitcase is on a cliffside, and Stallone goes to get it. Some shenanigans quickly ensure, and the thugs shoot at him. An avalanche occurs because these dumbasses have never seen a movie, and in the process, we lose a suitcase of money, Expendable Thug #4 goes the way of Sarah, and Gabe is presumed dead. Farquaad tells Yondu to tell his coworkers that everything is fine, and he’s gonna stay on the mountain to ride out the storm. Which is #5 in the list of “moments in this movie where I would 100% die” I grew up in a warm climate, this is not a comfortable hypothetical situation for me.
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Anyway, our intrepid team of criminals takes Yondu to find the next suitcase, while Jessie and Gabe separately make their way to the cabin that Yondu was talking about. They catch each other up, and they can’t contact the main office because...Jessie’s radio died in the cold? You...you work amongst mountains as a rescue officer for stranded hikers. That’s the best excuse the writers came up with? Why the hell didn’t she bring a better radio? They HAD to have spares, right? RIGHT? Geez, no wonder you needed Gabe’s help.
The tracker, with its marvelously outdated computer graphics technology (IT’S A UNIX SYSTEM IKNOWTHIS), leads the thugs to the next package, but not before Gabe and Jesse get there! Gabe leaves a ransom note for the money, holding it hostage. This eventually leads to a nighttime chase in the snow, leading to Expendable Thug #5 going The Way of Sarah.
By the way, it’s also at this point that I notice that it is VERY bright...for being in the middle of the mountains at night. And I get it, you can’t exactly have your movie be shot in darkness, but...look at this.
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Like...wow. That’s the fakest outdoor shot I’ve ever seen. I guess I’m glad it isn’t a day-for-night shot, but...yeah. Wow.
Jesse and Gabe find themselves in a cave full of the cutest goddamn bats I’ve ever seen. This is supposed to be a harrowing experience, but simply makes me jealous. They’re fruit bats, by the way, and they’re also WAY too high up, altitude-wise. At least, that’s what I assume. I’m a bird-guy, not a bat-guy. Eventually, they make it out of the cave after Stallone does some free-climbing...loudly. Loud enough for the super-violent, sociopathic, knife-and-gun-loving Expendable Thug #6 to hear them. And that’s when Gabe ICE-PICKS HIM IN THE LEG DAMN
Understandably pissed, and not as understandably still walking around without crying (#6 in that list of me-dying moments), the thug finds and beats the SHIT out of Gabe, handily.  But then, he calls Jessie a bitch, and Gabe is, above all things a feminist. Which leads to him, and read this CLOSELY:
This leads to Stallone, bloodied and beaten, PICKING THE THUG UP OVER HIS HEAD, AND IMPALING HIM ONTO A STALACTITE. Not a stalagmite, a STALACTITE. HOLY SHIT!.
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Well, Expendable Thug #6 is dead, there’s a bomb on the mountaintop, Jesse almost goes The Way of Sarah, and Frank (another guy who works with them, don’t know if I mentioned him) gets lured into a trap where he gets killed. An “Aww” moment from me; I liked Frank, he seemed like a really nice guy. This eventually leads to Farquaad and Tripp out-crazy-ing each other, and Farquaad winning by killing Expendable Thug #7, who does not go The Way of Sarah (blessed be her fall).
Gabe finds the remaining money, while Tripp, Yondu, and Expendable Thug #7 get there just after. Tripp leaves, and Yondu then delivers my favorite line of the movie:
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Oh, sorry, no, it’s, “In a minute, I’ll be dead. You will always be an asshole.” Thug #7 beats the shit out of Yondu, I get flashbacks to GotG 2, and Thug #8 goes THE WAY OF SARAH, BLESSED BE HER FALL. Tripp finds the tracker without the money, and officially loses it, outing himself and Farquaad to the government officials who FINALLY get here.
Tripp finds Gabe, they make their way to a frozen mountain lake, and Gabe SHOOTS TRIPP FROM UNDERNEATH THE ICE. That shouldn’t have worked for many reasons, but that was cool, so fuck it. Now, it’s just Farquaad, BUT HE HAS JESSIE! OH NOOOOOOOooooooo.
This whole thing culminates in a tense, cool chase sequence between Gabe and Farquad in the helicopter. The helicopter crashes into the mountainside, and the two fight while on the helicopter, which is now hanging from the cliff.
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Oh. Oh, I get it.
This inevitably leads to Farquaad and the helicopter going, of course, The Way of Sarah. Blessed Be Her Fall. #BBHF. 
And that’s it. Our three heroes are, themselves, rescued by the government agents, and we pan away from the cliffside, as the credits roll. Boom. Cliffhanger.
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Stay tuned for the epilogue, which contains the review!
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juliascheller · 7 years
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Cliffhanger (1993) dir. Renny Harlin
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eyeofhorus237 · 5 years
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Cliffhanger is a 1993 American action adventure film directed by Renny Harlin and starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Michael Rooker and Janine Turner. Based on a concept by climber John Long, the film follows Gabe (played by Stallone, who co-wrote the screenplay), a mountain climber who becomes embroiled in the failed heist of a U.S. Treasury plane flying through the Rocky Mountains. The film earned $255 million worldwide.
Plot
Rangers Gabriel "Gabe" Walker and Jessie Deighan are dispatched to rescue their friend Hal Tucker and his girlfriend, Sarah, after Hal suffered a knee injury and stranded them on a peak in the Colorado Rockies. As they try to rescue Sarah, part of her harness breaks, and though Gabe is able to grab her, her gloved hand slips out, and she falls to her death. Hal blames Gabe for Sarah's death and Gabe is overcome with guilt, taking an extended leave.
Eight months later, Gabe returns to the ranger station to gather his remaining possessions and persuade Jessie to leave with him. While there, they receive a distress call from a group of stranded climbers. Hal goes to locate the climbers and Jessie is able to persuade Gabe to help out. Hal remains bitter towards Gabe over Sarah's death, at one point threatening to push Gabe off a ledge. When they find the climbers, they discover the distress call was a ruse and are taken prisoner by former Military Intelligence operative Eric Qualen and several mercenaries including brutal Kynette, sadistic Delmar and pilot Kristel. Qualen, along with turncoat U.S. Treasury agent Richard Travers, were able to steal three suitcases full of uncirculated bills valuing over $100 million. Their escape plan backfired when a supposedly dead FBI agent shoots and damages the hydraulics, sending their plane crashing into the mountain, and they now require Gabe and Hal's help to locate the cases with the help of beacon locators.
At gunpoint, Hal and Gabe lead them to the first case, located upwards on a steep rock face. Gabe is tethered and forced to climb up the face to reach the case, but they try to yank him down, prompting Gabe to sever the rope. The mercenaries open fire on Gabe, causing an avalanche that kills one of their members. When they see the money from the first case fluttering away, Qualen believes Gabe is dead, and orders Hal to lead them onward. Gabe races ahead to find Jessie at an abandoned cabin. They recover old mountaineering gear to reach the second case before Qualen does. By the time Qualen arrives, Gabe and Jessie have emptied the case and left only a single bill with the taunting message "Want to trade?" on it. Qualen orders his men to split up, allowing Gabe to dispatch two more of Qualen's men. Gabe attempts to call for help from Frank, their rescue helicopter pilot, on one of the mercenaries' radios, but Hal alerts him to explosives Qualen has rigged above them on the mountain. Gabe and Jessie escape the falling debris in time. Elsewhere, when Hal sees two friends, Evan and Brett, he warns them away before Qualen orders his men to open fire. Brett is killed while Evan is wounded, though he manages to ski off the mountain and parachute to safety. Night falls on the mountain and both groups take shelter. Frank, having not heard from Gabe or the others, scouts the mountain in the helicopter, spots Evan's parachute, and is able to get him to safety while contacting the authorities.
When morning breaks, Gabe and Jessie beat Qualen to the last case. Meanwhile, the mercenaries flag down Frank in the helicopter, and by the time he realizes it's a trap it is too late. He is shot by Delmar and dies, but not before slipping Hal a knife. As the mercenaries split up to look for the other case, Hal is able to use the knife to wound Delmar, kill him with his own shotgun, and escape. Elsewhere Hal finds Gabe, and together they kill Travers, who is now insane after finding that Gabe managed to get the last case before him. However, at the same time, Qualen takes Jessie hostage when she waves down the helicopter, believing that Frank was flying it. Qualen tells Gabe and Hal over the radio that he is holding Jessie captive on board the helicopter, demanding Gabe and Hal to surrender the money from the third case at a high elevated rendezvous point and threatens to kill her should they refuse to cooperate.
Gabe and Hal agree, and they meet at a cliff side bridge. However, Qualen tries to challenge Gabe into throwing the case into the helicopter, but when he also threatens to kill Jessie again, Gabe orders Qualen to free her at a safe distance away from the cliff. Qualen reluctantly agrees, and uses a winch to lower Jessie to the ground. Once Jessie is safely down, however, Gabe throws the bag of money into the helicopter's rotors, shredding the money. Enraged, Qualen attempts to use the helicopter to kill Gabe, but Gabe has used the winch cable to tether the helicopter to a steel ladder up the cliff face. The ladder snaps and leaves Gabe and Qualen atop the wreckage of the helicopter hanging by the cable. Gabe fights Qualen and manages to climb to safety as the wreckage snaps off the cable, sending Qualen to his death. Gabe reunites with Jessie and Hal as they were found by Treasury agents led by Walter Wright in a helicopter after they get a bead on a frequency between Travers and Qualen and he arrange a transportation as Gabe, Hal, and Jessie sitting on top of a mountain peak, just like Gabe, Hal, and Sarah at the beginning.
Cast
Sylvester Stallone as Gabriel "Gabe" Walker, a former mountain climber and rescue ranger haunted by his failure to save the girlfriend of his best friend, Hal Tucker
John Lithgow as Eric Qualen, a sadistic British former military intelligence officer, now leader of the gang of thieves trying to rob $100 million from the U.S. Treasury
Michael Rooker as Hal Tucker, Gabe's best friend and a mountain ranger who blames Gabe for failing to save Sarah
Janine Turner as Jessie Deighan, a helicopter pilot and Gabe's girlfriend working in the same mountain search-and-rescue group and whom Gabe has become distant from since failing to save Sarah
Rex Linn as Richard Travers, a U.S. Treasury agent who is a double agent working for Qualen
Caroline Goodall as Kristel, Qualen's pilot and companion
Leon Robinson as Kynette, Qualen's brutal second-in-command
Craig Fairbrass as Delmar, Qualen's sadistic ex-soccer player-turned-henchman.
Gregory Scott Cummins as Ryan, Qualen's henchman
Denis Forest as Heldon, Qualen's henchman
Michelle Joyner as Sarah, Hal's ill-fated girlfriend who falls to her death after Gabe failed to save her
Paul Winfield as Walter Wright, A U.S. Treasury agent who discovered Qualen's plot to rob the money from the U.S. Treasury
Ralph Waite as Ranger Frank, a search-and-rescue pilot working for Gabe, Jessie and Hal
Max Perlich as Evan, a thrill-seeking young man who is friends with Gabe and Hal
Trey Brownell as Brett, Evan's friend who is also a thrill-seeker
Vyto Ruginis as Matheson, an undercover FBI agent who foils the mid-air robbery
John Finn as Agent Michaels
Bruce McGill as Treasury Agent
Jeff McCarthy as Pilot
Wolfgang Güllich as Gabe Walker (stunt double)
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365days365movies · 3 years
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January 3, 2021: Cliffhanger (Epilogue)
PloSo, real talk here. Why did I do Cliffhanger first, before any other Stallone movie for Action January? Well, I might be building up my nerve for the real main Stallone event tomorrow. But, also, this is a movie that I’d heard of, but had never seen anywhere. And I was legitimately curious as to why, as I said before, people had slept on this movie. And I now know the reason.
It’s mediocre.
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I dunno, cop from Tango and Cash that I used in the previous post, I just thought this movie was mostly only pretty OK. Yeah, I’d watch it again if I had to, but there wasn’t much to take away from it, if I’m honest. I only wrote a one-part post on the recap, after all, as opposed to the previous two films. But let’s break this down in full. Maybe then I can figure out my true opinions here.
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Cast and Acting
I mean...it’s fine? Stallone is Stallone, Rooker is Rooker, and Lithgow literally eats the scenery whenever possible. Rex Linn’s increasingly unhinged performance as Agent Travers was enjoyable enough to watch, and Leon Robinson’s turn as the sociopathic Kynette (y’know, stalactite guy) was convincing for standout. Janine Turner as Jessie...existed? Look, on average, the acting in this film was fine. More good standouts than bad, so there’s a plus.
Cast and Acting: 6/10
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Plot and Writing
Plot’s pretty solid, writing is VERY corny in places. But, hey, one of the two people who wrote the screenplay was Michael France, who wrote Fantastic Four (2005), GoldenEye (1995), and Hulk (2003; above) So, yeah, this is kind of his writing style. And the other writer? SYLVESTER STALLONE HIMSELF. YEAH. I was actually surprised to find out that Stallone wrote a LOT of his most famous films, including all of the Rocky (and Creed), Rambo, and Expendables movies, Cobra, and this movie! Credit where credit’s due! And here’s a fun fact about the story: it’s based off of a novella by a prominent free climber, John Long. I can’t find a single plot detail of the book, Rogue’s Babylon, but he’s apparently the inspiration for the story of Cliffhanger. So, yeah, neat. Anyway, story isn’t bad, and the writing has some real charm to its corniness.
Plot and Writing: 7/10
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Direction and Action
Renny Harlin directed Deep Blue Sea. I mean...how much more do I need to say?
OK, I’ll say something. Direction here is fine, although the shots in the film don’t blow me away at most points. The aerial shots are also fantastic, I will say that much. As for the action, a lot of it is pretty great! That battle with Stallone and the sociopathic thug in the cave is up there in terms of my favorite fight scenes thus far this month. I mean, we’re only three days in, but still.
Direction and Action: 6/10
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Costume and Set Design
Not much to say here. The night scene is real awkward looking, as you can CLEARLY see where the spotlights are. Other than that, the costumes are effective, the mountains scenery looks nice (Italian mountains, by the way), but, yeah...not much else.
Costume and Set Design: 5/10
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Music
I don’t remember the music. At all. Like, I’m trying to summon the score in my head, and it is not. Working. It didn’t stand out as good, it didn’t stand out as bad. It just kind of...existed. So, average?
Music: 5/10
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Yeah, I get it. I do get why this movie’s been semi-forgotten since its debut. It’s not the best, although it still isn’t the worst. Tallying up my score, it hits a 58% for me, and yeah, that feels right. Sorry if this read wasn’t as exciting as the previous ones, but...yeah, no, that kinda sums up how I felt about this movie! Looks like my hopes for this being an understated classic have also gone The Way of Sarah. 
OK, so now that I’ve begun my Sly-primer...time to get to the main Stallone event. Let’s do this.
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January 4, 2021: First Blood (1982)
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