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lucidlivi · 9 months

Text

Never Been You

Requested: @hzllxhoundxx

Everything Tag List: @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @perpetualabsurdity @antisocialcorrupt @heavenlyackles @anixiiee @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @deans-spinster-witch @k-slla @alternativeprincess @spnbaby-67 (if you'd like added to my everything tag list, please indicate by saying "please tag me in everything Jensen/Dean")

Warnings: Angst, Demon Dean, Kidnapping, Violence, Mature Themes, Demon Dean Being an Absolute Dick

Following S10 E2, S10 E3 (of course with my twist!)

I got carried away so this is a hella long one for you guys!

"you need to get to Beulah North Dakota now!" I rushed out to Castiel who was on the other end of the phone call.

"I do?"

"yes, Crowley and Dean were there, we have to pick up their trail."

I looked over to see Sam in the truck hunched over in pain.

"good, great."

I felt the emotions wash over me for what felt like the thousandth time since seeing the footage of Dean, our Dean, sporting black eyes. Castiel has no idea.

"Not exactly, Cas, Dean's a Demon." I said feeling the unshed tears slip from my eyes.

"Dean's a Demon? How?"

"It's the mark Cas, it messed him up, I don't know." I cried.

"that's a vast understatement." Castiel grumbled.

"look Cas, I know you're not feeling so hot right now, but I need you, it’s sort of an all hands on deck situation, so…"

"so I'll be there."

I hopped back in the truck I had rescued Sam in and continued to drive to North Dakota. I played through every scenario in mind of how this could go, and none of them ended well.

I needed to find Dean, I needed to help him.

"I got a lead, disturbance at a night club, a rowdy patron beat a security guard senseless. It sounds like a demon thing to do." Sam said looking at his phone.

"I guess let's check it out then."

It was still daytime when we were pulling up to the strip club.

Of course Dean would end up here.

"think that's the guy?" I asked Sam, looking at a muscular security guard who was wearing a sling identical to Sam's and had two black eyes.

"I would say it's a safe bet."

I stopped the truck hopping out, followed by Sam.

"excuse me sir, is this the guy who attacked you last night?" Sam asked straight forward, showing a picture of Dean.

"that's the guy, I called 911 but he was gone before they showed up."

Damn.

I didn't expect him to still be here, but it felt like a blow to the gut to actually hear it.

"that dude get to you too?" He asked Sam referencing his sling.

"uh no, this uh is just a hunting accident." Sam responded.

"would you do us a favor, if this guy shows back up, please give us a call." I said producing a fake FBI business card with my number on it.

"you bet."

"thanks."

I ran a hand through my hair with a huff before getting back in the truck.

"what now?" I asked, feeling the tears prick at my eyes again.

I couldn't bare the thought of Dean actually being a demon.

"I don't know." Sam said in defeat.

I drove the truck to a nearby motel, renting us a room. Sam had been through hell, he needed to rest. I helped him lay down on the bed, noticing his eyes get instantly heavy.

"I'll be right back, I'm just going to get something out of the truck." I told him, rushing outside.

As soon as I stepped outside, I heard a voice that made my blood boil with anger.

"hello there love."

I turned around to see Crowley with a smirk on his face.

"did ya miss me?"

I huffed in anger, reaching behind me to pull a blade from my belt loop.

"oh so much." I growled.

"easy now, I know you're here for Dean, and I'm here to give him to you."

Is this a trick?

I could never truly trust Crowley.

"I don't understand."

"you see he's bad for business, he's.. he's become uncontrollable, must be the mark.." Crowley trails off with a smirk.

"anywho Dean's your problem now, again, forever." Crowley added.

"then where the hell is he?" I snapped, not being able to contain my anger towards the king of hell.

"ah ah, first there's a small matter of my finders fee."

"nothing ever comes free with you, wouldn't have expected anything less."

****************************************************

I hesitantly walk in to the bar not knowing what to expect. I didn't even tell Sam where I was going. I knew he didn't have the strength to fight, and I didn't want him to get hurt.

"hiya angel." Dean said looking up at me with a smirk.

I felt my breathing get heavy as I looked at him. It was Dean in the flesh, but this thing was so far from Dean. Dean was brave, he was kind, Dean cared.

"I told you to let me go." Dean said picking up his glass of whiskey and sipping it.

"you know I can't do that Dean."

He smirked, taking another sip.

"by the way, your pal Crowley, he sold you out, didn't take him much." I said stepping a bit closer.

"sounds like him."

"Dean, we can cure demons, don't you remember that?" I asked taking another step closer.

Dean picked up the first blade, walking past me in a threatening manner.

"a little latin, lot of blood, yeah it rings a bell. but did you ever stop to think that if I wanted to be cured, I wouldn't have bailed."

"Dean that was Crowley, you don't know what you're doing."

"that's what you think." Dean said pouring himself another glass of whiskey.

"well it doesn't matter Dean, whatever happened, whatever went down, we will fix it." I said cautiously taking another step towards him.

"Oh will we? Meanwhile I'm doing all I can to not come over there and rip your throat out."

"Dean you don't mean that."

"I'm giving you a chance to run sweetheart, better take it." Dean threatened.

"I'll pass." I said quickly.

“I'm not walking out that door with you, I'm just not, so what are you going to do angel, huh? Are you going to kill me?" Dean asked.

I felt a chill run down my spine at the way he called me angel. It was laced with venom.

"I didn't come here to kill you."

"why? you have no idea what I've done, in fact I might have it coming."

"I don't care Dean, you're my best friend, and I'm here to take you home. I'm here to save you."

I wanted to admit so much more to him.

I wanted to tell him that it's because I was in love with him and couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I was worried now that I wouldn't get the chance too.

I heard Dean start to chuckle.

"save me? why would you want to save me? it's never been you, you know." Dean said taking a sip.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Dean got up sauntering his way over to me. I instinctively took a step back, not trusting him. I soon found out though, the more distance I tried to put between us the closer he got. I raised my hand up putting it on his chest to stop him from getting any closer.

Dean smirked at me before twisting my arm and bringing his hand up to my throat. He pinned me to the wall a twisted look in his eyes. I felt a chill run down my spine, he was getting pleasure out of this.

"I see the way you look at me, the way you lust for me, you want me." Dean smirked.

I glared at him, trying to turn my face away, his hold on my throat getting tighter.

"you don't want to kill me because you're in love with me, and you have been for quite some time, haven't you?"

I couldn't speak, Dean's hold on me was too tight. I furrowed my eyebrows as if to convey he wasn't right, even though he was.

"and its never been you for me.. you see while you've been trying to find me, trying to save me, i've been fucking everything with a heartbeat." Dean growled.

I could feel the tears brim my eyes as his words cut in to me. I knew he was just trying to hurt me, but part of me wondered if that's how Dean actually felt.

He let go of my throat, shoving me to the floor. I instantly stood back up taking out the handcuffs from my back pocket.

"you really think those are going to work sweetheart?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"well there's one way to find out."

As I took a step forward, the window shattered and the entire room started filling with smoke. I looked to my left to see someone had threw a smoke grenade. I felt the air rush from my lungs as I breathed in the smoke. I put my shirt over my mouth and nose, trying to find an exit. I started to cough, as my vision got blurry.

I finally found the emergency exit, pushing it open. I saw the silhouette of a man on the other side as I collapsed from smoke inhalation. He struck me across the face hard, causing me to fall back to the ground, hitting my head in the process.

I was seeing stars as I sat clutching my bleeding head. Dean came out glaring the man down. I heard them exchange some words, but couldn't make out exactly what they were saying.

I noticed myself start to slip in and out of consciousness.

I saw them start to fight, Dean clearly having the upper hand.

I felt like my head was on fire, as I glanced up seeing Dean holding the first blade to the guys neck. He was going to kill him. I was surprised when he dropped him, tucking the blade back in to his pocket. I tried to muster up any strength I could to get up, but my body was betraying me. Dean walked over to me, a sick grin etched on to his face as he swayed his hips.

"Dean please." I choked out.

"time to sleep now baby."

Dean raised his hand striking me, and that's the last thing I remember before my world went dark.

****************************************************

I was in agonizing pain as I fluttered my eyelashes open. I panicked as I couldn't move my body. I looked down to see my arms and legs were bound to a wooden chair. I gathered from my surroundings that I was in some kind of warehouse, but I didn't recognize where.

"oh good, you're awake."

Dean came over crouching in front of me so we were eye level.

"let me go." I growled.

"can't do that angel." He said caressing my cheek.

I quickly moved my head away, causing his hand to fall.

"you don't want to provoke me." Dean growled.

"or what? you're going to kill me?"

Dean gave a sickly sweet smile. He leaned in close whispering in my ear.

"or you're going to wish you were dead."

"I'm not scared of you Dean." I snapped.

Dean lets out a chuckle, standing to his feet.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you so much, feisty little thing."

"why don't you let me out of these ropes and I'll show you just how feisty I can be."

Dean chuckled again, grabbing a bottle of whiskey taking a sip.

"I don't even know why I'm talking to you, this isn't even the real you." I scoffed.

"oh it's the real me alright, the new real me, the me who sees things for what they actually are."

I scoffed again rolling my eyes at his words.

"hunters, do-gooders, fighting the natural order, well let me tell you something sweetheart people like me, we are the natural order."

"yeah well people like me still gotta do what we can." I growled.

Dean smirked as he crouched back down to my eye level.

"oh don't be so full of yourself baby, cause you see from where I'm sitting, there ain't much difference from what I turned in to, to what you already are." Dean smirked.

"and what is that supposed to mean?" I growled.

Dean took one hand resting on my cheek, the other on the back of my neck so I couldn't move away from him again.

"I know what you did when you went looking for me, how far you went." Dean whispered, dangerously close to my face.

I felt the guilt sink back in.

I just kept telling myself I did what I had to in order to find Dean. I felt my breathing quicken as Dean came in closer, practically brushing his lips against mine.

"so let me ask you baby, which one of us is really the monster?"

I felt the tears brimming my lashes as Dean stared at me. Dean smirked as he stood back up.

"Now you and Sammy were trying to get a twenty on Crowley and me from any demon you could snag, but Crowley didn't want to be found, and no one showed when you summoned. But you my angel, you found your own way didn't you?"

I was ridden with guilt as I remembered how I tricked Lester in to summoning a demon to make a deal.

"You would've liked to have gotten there before the deal went down but you didn't really care about poor ol' Lester did you? Oh and just so you know, I uh killed Lester myself." Dean smirked as if it were funny.

"I never meant.." I started to choke out but Dean cut me off.

"who cares what you meant, that line that we thought was so clear between us and the things we hunted, ain't so clear is it?" Dean yelled.

I bit my lip to stop the tears from falling.

"wow, you know, you might actually be worse then me. I mean you took a guy at his lowest, used him, and it cost him his life and his soul, nice work baby." Dean said crouching back down.

I spit in his face, the anger I was feeling towards him boiling over. Dean angrily wiped his face off with the hem of his shirt.

"there's no point in trying to bring your best friend back now." Dean growled.

"oh I’ll bring him back, if it's the last thing I do." I growled.

"In fact, your uh guilt ridden, weight-of-the-world best friend, has been M.I.A. for quite some time now. I have to say though, I'm loving the new model, lean, mean, Dean."

I rolled my eyes turning my head away from him.

"I can't believe you're still trying! I mean, I couldn't wait to get away from you. I chose the king of hell over you! I guess I was just tired of having to coddle you, always having to yank your ass out of the fire. Do you ever stop to think that just your very existence sucks the life out of my life?" Dean said.

I could feel the tears run down my cheeks as he spoke.

"this isn't my best friend talking, he would never say those things." I spoke, more for my benefit than for his.

"you never had a best friend, just an excuse for wimping out, and guess what angel, I quit."

"no, you don't get to quit, we don't quit, okay you and me Dean we're bonded whether you like it or not, and this bond is all that we've got." I cried.

"well then we've got nothing." Dean smirked.

I looked down at the floor, praying that Sam had noticed I was gone. I was praying to Castiel to come find me. I knew if it came down to it, I couldn't kill Dean, even if it meant he'd kill me. I was praying for another solution.

I heard the door open and the sound of heeled footsteps against the floor.

"you brought us a play thing?"

I looked up to see a female, she wore black eyes similar to Deans.

"not us, mine." Dean growled at the girl who took a step closer to me.

"but I want to play too." she smirked coming over to me, brushing a piece of hair off my bare shoulder.

I shivered at her touch, trying to move away with what limited space I had.

"I said no." Dean growled.

I glanced up meeting Dean's eyes and for a second, just a second, I could see he wasn't totally gone.

"have you gone soft on us Winchester?"

"ha, not even, but you see that one's kind of a special project of mine, and I want to kill her myself." Dean smirked staring at me.

"okay, then I won't kill her."

As she said this, she shoved the chair back, causing me to hit my head on the concrete below. I grunted as the air was knocked out of my lungs.

"I'll just hurt her." she laughed.

"Dean please." I pleaded, struggling to breathe.

"Dean's gone." the woman whispered, running a hand through my hair.

"Dean I know you're in there. I'm begging you. I always rely on you because I know I can. Dean you're the most selfless person I know. I know that somewhere inside you still care. I know you don't want to hurt me Dean." I cried.

As I was putting on my show, I managed to wiggle one of my arms free. I reached around to grab my blade that was hidden in my belt loop, but I didn't feel anything.

"are you looking for this?" she smirked, inspecting the demon blade.

"go back to hell where you belong." I snapped.

"nice show, even almost had me fooled for a second." I heard her laugh.

She held the blade to my cheek. I could feel my breathing quicken as she ran the blade down my cheek towards my neck. She pressed in just enough to draw a small trickle of blood. I looked past her to try to reason with Dean again but I didn't see him.

I suddenly felt blood splatter on my face. It was coming from the woman's mouth as Dean plunged the first blade deeper in to her spine. I watched the life leave her eyes in an instant. Dean grunted as he ripped the blade out, her now lifeless body slumping over my own. He threw her body off of me, picking the chair back up.

He started to pace around the room as if he wasn’t sure what just happened.

"look what you made me do!" Dean yelled.

"Dean, let me go, and then I can help you." I whimpered weakly.

Dean glared at me, his eyes going black before flashing back to his normal green ones. Dean growled, opening the door to the room before slamming it shut leaving me alone.

I had to get out of here. I noticed my blade still on the ground, just a few feet from where I sat. If I can get to it, I can cut myself free.

I leaned over as far as I could, causing the chair to tip over sideways. I once again smacked my head on the concrete as I fell. I groaned at the impact but shook it off, using my free arm to pull myself closer to the knife. I reached out my arm, my fingers just barely grazing the handle.

"come on!" I exclaimed, trying to grip it again.

I finally managed to wrap my fingers around the handle of the blade. I breathed a momentary sigh of relief, cutting my other arm free from the ropes than cutting my ankles free. I stood up weakly looking for an exit. I took my sleeve, wiping the blood off my face.

I wasn't sure how much of it was hers, and how much of it was my own.

I finally saw a red exit sign. I mustered up all my strength sprinting over to it. I put my hand on the door, but suddenly stopped.

I couldn't leave him.

I wouldn't.

I was debating with myself when I heard a loud growl. Dean must've come back and noticed I was gone.

"you're coming home whether you like it or not." I whispered, running through the warehouse.

I could hear Dean walking after me, opening doors as he went. It was eery how calm he walked.

"come on baby, don't you want to hang out with me, spend a little quality time." Dean yelled.

I quieted my breathing as I found the keys to the electrical room. I moved quietly against the walls towards the room.

I heard Dean kick down some doors, growling every time I wasn't behind one of them. I managed to get to the electrical room. I fumbled with the keys trying to unlock the door.

"fuck" I muttered in frustration.

I finally got in, and immediately pulled every switch I could, killing the power.

"that's smart angel, but now I know where to find you." Dean growled as he rushed towards where I was.

I hid against the wall waiting for him. I heard him enter quietly, looking around for me.

"come on out angel, you're just making things worse for yourself." Dean growled.

I rushed over to the door, just as Dean threw the switches back, restarting the power.

"now this is me yanking your ass out of the fire." I spit slamming the door and locking him inside.

I heard Dean chuckle.

"this is your big plan, locking me in?"

"Dean, just please come with me and we can cure you." I said holding out my demon blade.

It was completely silent.

"Dean?"

I jumped in fright as Dean banged on the door, slowly splitting the wood.

"you act like I wanna be cured, personally I like the disease." Dean growled, using a hammer he found to break the door down.

"Dean stop! I don't want to use this blade on you!" I yelled holding it out further in front of my body.

"that sucks for you doesn't it angel, cause you really mean that." Dean smirked, hitting the door with the hammer again.

"Dean if you come out of that room, I won't have a choice." I whimpered, choking back tears.

"oh sure you will, and I know which one you'll make, isn't that right baby?" Dean growled smacking the door harder.

I knew the door wouldn't hold him much longer.

"I'm lucky though, cause there's just enough demon left in me that killing you, ain't gonna be a choice at all." Dean growled continuing to break the door down.

I felt the tears streaming down my face at this point. I could see the door giving way. I turned around sprinting away before it broke completely. I heard one last loud bang before the door gave way. Dean's heavy footsteps were once again behind me.

"come on angel, lets kiss and make up. I'm tired of playing let's finish this game." Dean growled.

I leaned against the wall taking a deep breath. I didn't have the strength to continue. I knew I was no match for him.

I glanced down the corridor where I thought Dean was coming from. I didn't see him though.

I turned around just in time to see a hammer flying towards my head. I ducked quickly, pushing my demon blade against Dean's throat. I could hear Dean chuckle as he looked at me, raising his hands in mock surrender.

"well, well look at you baby, go on do it." Dean growled leaning in to the knife.

I felt the tears cloud my vision as I slowly dropped the knife.

I couldn't kill him.

I watched as Dean's eyes went black. He gripped my throat throwing me against the wall before slamming me on the ground. I watched him take out the first blade, bringing it above his head.

"Dean I love you."

I closed my eyes, waiting for death to come.

But it didn't.

I opened my eyes to see Dean growling, as if he was fighting an inner battle with himself, a battle for his soul. I caught sight of Castiel sneaking up behind Dean, wrapping him in his arms. Dean growled, trying to get out of his grasp.

"Dean it's over." Cas said his eyes flashing their beautiful blue.

Dean collapsed in CastieI's arms, before I slapped the demon cuffs on him. I felt myself relax as I saw Sam rushing to my side.

****************************************************

"I'll meet you guys soon, just one thing left to do." I said holding the first blade in my hand.

"Be careful." Sam said placing a kiss on my forehead.

I gave him a nod, watching him get in the impala with Castiel and a still unconscious Dean. I sighed as they pulled away from me.

"you can stop hiding now." I called.

I saw Crowley emerge from the shadows, a smirk on his face as he eyed the blade.

"pleasure doing business with you." He spoke reaching his hand out.

I quickly pulled it out of his reach.

"what are you going to do with it?" I inquired.

"oh toss it in a volcano, leave it on the moon, i'll get creative." He laughed.

I hesitantly eyed him.

"believe me love, I don't want Dean getting his hands on the precious any more than you do. he knows I've ratted and he tends to hold a grudge....I don't want to get how you say boned."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"besides a deals a deal."

I huffed before handing the blade over to him.

"I hope you know this doesn't make us square, quite the opposite actually, I swear Crowley if I see you again.." I started but he cut me off.

"oh stop it love, no one likes a tease."

I glared at him one last time before hopping in the truck, starting the drive back to Kansas.

I felt like my head was going to explode from everything that had happened in such a short time. Dean's words replayed in my head on a continuous loop.

It wasn't him, I know that. It didn't make anything he said any less hurtful though.

It's never been you.

You see while you've been trying to find me, trying to save me, I've been fucking everything with a heartbeat.

Do you ever stop to think that just your very existence sucks the life out of my life?

I felt the tears cloud my vision, making the road harder to see. I pulled over to the side of the road and cried. I let out every emotion I'd been holding in.

I cried for Dean, I cried for what he went through. I cried for me. I cried for the strain that this was going to put on our relationship. I just cried.

I didn't know how long I'd been crying but I finally collected myself enough to start driving again. I knew that Sam and Castiel could handle Dean. I'm sure they were already back in Kansas, starting the purified blood cure on Dean.

I didn't even know if I was ready to face him again. I spilled my darkest secret to Dean, fearing that I would be dead and never having the chance to tell him.

Dean didn't kill me though.

He could have very easily, I didn't put up much of a fight.

But he didn't.

I was praying that maybe some part of him felt something for me too.

I managed to make the rest of the drive to Kansas. I pulled up to the bunker, hearing Dean growl as the demon was expelled from his body. I hesitantly walked over seeing him slumped over in a chair, much like I was hours ago. Sam injected another syringe of purified blood in to his arm.

"what the hell are we doing to him guys? I mean even after everything he said he didn't want to be cured, that he didn't want to be human." I spoke, feeling the tears that I was sure I had cried all out, start to rim my eyes once again.

"well, I can see his point, you know, only humans can feel real joy, but also such profound pain." Castiel said staring directly at me while talking about pain.

"I guess this is easier." Sam added.

I was about to respond when Dean groaned, trying to move. He raised his head, showing us his black eyes, before they returned to their shade of green.

Dean groaned hoarsely before exhaling a big breath. He looked at the three of us confused, as if everything was coming back to him.

"you look worried guys." Dean spoke up.

I could feel Dean's eyes stay on me. He stared at me intently. I just hoped I didn't look as broken as I felt.

Castiel, Sam, and I gave each other a look, all wondering the same thing. Was Dean back?

Sam uncapped the holy water throwing it on to Dean's face. I sighed with relief when he didn't have a reaction to it. Sam smiled at us. I was still a little apprehensive as was Castiel.

"Dean, we've missed you." Sam said.

Castiel and Sam unchained Dean, helping him to his feet. I felt like every word I wanted to say was stuck in my throat. Dean stared at me as the boys led him to his room. He was weak, the blood cure taking a lot out of him.

How was I even supposed to talk to him about this?

Castiel and Sam returned quickly after getting Dean settled.

"how's he doing?" I asked the boys.

"he's still a little out of it, but better. I mean I think the blood cure, all of it, it really wrecked him you know." Sam said giving me an apologetic look.

It was silent for a moment.

"on the plus side, he's hungry again so I'm going to go pick us up some food, you guys mind keeping an eye?" Sam added grabbing the keys to the impala.

I nodded my head as he walked out. Castiel was unnaturally quiet.

"what is it Cas?"

"one problem is solved, but one still remains. Dean is no longer a demon, that's true, but the mark of cain, that he still has, and sooner or later that's going to become an issue.”

I knew he was right, Castiel always was.

"one battle at a time Cas." I half smiled.

Castiel looked at me with a sad face. It was no use hiding my emotions from him because the angel always figured it out. Castiel stepped up, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. I felt a tear cascade down my cheek as I sunk in his embrace.

"I'm uh, going to get cleaned up." I whispered.

I felt every muscle in my body aching as I walked to the bathroom. I cringed when I saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked like hell.

I sported a hand shaped bruise around my throat, along with a cut from my knife. I had a gash on my head, and my face was still crimson colored from the blood. I could see various other bruises forming all over. I licked over my lip that was busted from being thrown against the wall by Dean.

I definitely looked as broken as I felt.

I sighed as I stepped in to the steady stream of water, the sound of the water slapping against my skin drowned out my sobs. I scrubbed my skin until it felt raw.

I got out wrapping the towel tightly around my body. I tiptoed past Deans room. I couldn't help my curiosity as I heard Dean and Castiel talking.

"thank you, for stepping in when you did... has uh she talked to you? what does she say, does she want anything to do with me?" Dean asked.

I could hear the hurt in his voice. It made me hurt more.

"I'm sure she knows whatever you said, whatever you did, that wasn't really you, I mean it certainly wasn't all of you." Castiel reassured.

"Cas, I tried to kill her. Did you see her? I did that! I can't take back the things I said Cas." Dean said.

"Dean I feel I can be honest with you. You two have been through so much together, you're bonded. It'll take a lot more than you trying to kill her with a hammer to get her to walk away." Castiel said.

"you realize how screwed up our lives are that, that even makes sense?" Dean says causing Cas to chuckle.

"I think you should talk to her, and then maybe you should uh take some time, allow both of you to heal."

I heard Castiel exit Dean's room, closing the door. He gave me a wordless look as he passed, signifying that his words were just as much meant for me as they were for Dean.

Castiel the wise.

Of course I couldn't walk away from Dean.

I sighed as I walked to my room, quickly throwing on some clothes. As soon as I lay in my soft bed, I realize how burnt out I was. I heard a soft knock on my door.

"yeah?" I called out hesitantly.

"it's me, the real me."

I felt the air get caught in my throat.

"come in."

Dean opened the door slowly. I could see the hurt flashing in his eyes at he looked at me. I sat up not meeting his eyes. Dean walked over, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"(y/n), I.."

"you don't have to apologize Dean, I know that wasn't you." I spoke.

"it doesn't make it any less shitty though." He said through gritted teeth.

"or hurt any less." I admitted.

Dean ran a hand through his hair in frustration. I could see that this was really hurting him.

"but you could've killed me, and you didn't, you saved me, you stopped yourself." I said finally meeting his eyes.

"I couldn't kill you. I feel for you too much, even as a demon." Dean whispered, hesitantly looking at me.

I felt my heart swell up at his words.

"what I said, it wasn't true." Dean said, sliding just a bit closer to my body.

"it's okay if part of it was, it's never been me and that's okay." I said feeling my heartache.

Dean looked at me as if I had three heads.

"never been you? It's always been you."

I felt the tears run down my cheeks as Dean put a hand up, caressing one of them.

"Dean I don't know how we move on from this." I cried.

"I don't know either, but we're going to do it, together, just like always."

I smiled at Dean for the first time.

"there's my Dean." I whispered.

Dean leaned in slowly, leaning his forehead against mine.

"did you mean what you said?" Dean asked hesitantly.

I gave him a confused look.

"that you love me, did you mean it?"

I swallowed nervously as I stared at him. I slowly nodded my head adverting my eyes from his gaze. Dean grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him.

I gasped as Dean crashed his lips on to mine. I was shocked so naturally I was still. Once my brain processed what was happening I pressed my lips against his, kissing him as if my life depended on it. He pulled away slowly, keeping his forehead pressed to mine.

“I love you too, I always have.” Dean spoke.

I felt the tears well in my eyes again, but these tears were different. These weren’t tears of sadness, they were tears of pure love.

Dean smiled as he reconnected our lips together in a heated kiss. It was lustful, neither one of use being able to contain the passion we had felt for each other for far too long.

Dean slid his hands under my shirt, gripping on to my hips as he deepened the kiss. I was so caught up in the moment I ignored my muscles screaming at me to stop. Dean brought my shirt over my head, breaking the kiss just long enough to do so. I felt insecure as my bare chest was now exposed for him. I panted as he brought his lips down to my neck gently kissing over the bruise.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart.” Dean said in between kisses.

I grabbed the hem of his shirt taking it off. I saw the mark of cain glistening on his forearm. I brought his arm to my lips, slowly kissing over the mark. Dean pushed me back on the bed so he was hovering over me. I gasped as his hands slid there way down my body to my shorts.

It was slow and passionate. I felt like my skin was on fire every time his fingertips met my skin. Dean dragged my shorts down my legs, his fingers brushing against my sensitive heat.

I wasted no time putting my hands in his pants yanking them down over his butt and down his legs. I was surprised to feel that he was already fully erect.

“do you want this?” Dean asked kissing my lips.

“more than i’ve ever wanted anything.”

Dean, with my consent slowly slid himself in to me. I groaned as my body adjusted to his large girth. He started to move at a slow pace, savoring the feeling of finally being together so intimately.

“It’s always been you.” Dean said as he thrusted deeply.

I don’t think either of us had the energy for the sex we really wanted to have but this sex was sweet, and full of love. I moaned as Dean picked up the pace, but still savoring the feeling of every thrust inside of me. I brought my hips up matching his thrusts. I was a moaning mess as we thrusted against each other, our lips crashing with each thrust.

“Dean” I moaned signifying that I was close.

Dean thrusted some more, softly but at a steady rhythm. I moaned one last time as I felt myself spilling over the edge. I was gripping him so hard, it cause him to release his arousal too. Dean’s body gave out as he collapsed beside me.

“hey guys I got the… oh god really Dean?” Sam said dropping the bag of food and covering his eyes.

I laughed at him, joined by Dean.

“not even back twenty four hours and this is how you’re spending your time.” Sam groaned in embarrassment.

“blame Cas, he’s the one that told us we should talk.” Dean laughed.

Sam backed out of my room, shutting the door behind him. I gazed at Dean but found out he was already staring at me.

“I didn’t save you, you saved me.” Dean whispered tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“I’ll always save you Dean.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

Author Note:

I really hope you guys like it! If you feel so inclined please leave a heart, comment, reblog or a follow! I appreciate it!

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j2lovemoose · 5 months

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#spnfamily #spndaily #spnedit #spnfandom #spn #spnfamilyforever #jaredpadalecki #jensen and jared #j2 forever #jensen ackles #ai generated #ai

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kissmyassbxtt · 10 months

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Team Free Will❤️

The Song Remains The Same - 5.13

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #team free will #jensen ackles #spn creators daily #jared paladecki #jensen and jared #sam and dean #spn gif #spn edit #spn gifs

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my-proof-is-you · 2 months

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Now That We Don’t Talk - Part 1

Summary: When you started dating Jensen Ackles, things were damn near perfect. You were so compatible, and you fit into his life seamlessly. After Supernatural ended, though, Jensen got a new job. Pretty soon, Jensen also got a new life. And you no longer fit in it.

Jensen x You

Inspired by the song Now That We Don’t Talk by Taylor Swift

Masterlist

You

You sat the last box down in your living room with a grunt. You’d been lugging boxes into your new apartment all day, and you were exhausted. You let your tired body fall back onto the couch, sinking into the soft cushions.

You looked around the room filled with cardboard and the few pieces of furniture you had. You could feel the tears threatening to fill your eyes, and bit your lip to stop them. You pulled out your phone, tapping the name of the only person you could think to call at that moment.

“Hi, baby, how are you doing?” your mom answered on the second ring.

You sighed. “I’ve been better,” you replied, rubbing a hand down your face.

“This really is for the best, you know?” she said, and you could almost picture the sympathetic look she’d have on her face.

“Is it? Cause right now it feels just…horrible.”

“Yes, Y/N, it is. He changed, and you are not the only one who noticed.”

You sighed again. “Thanks, Momma. I better get unpacking. Love you.”

“Love you too, Bug. Pour yourself a glass of wine and just try to relax.”

You smiled as you hung up. Your mom truly was your best friend. You’d called her right after you broke up with Jensen and she’d talked you through it the best she could from nearly a thousand miles away.

After you’d moved to Austin to be with Jensen, you saw your mom a lot less than you’d liked. It was tempting to move back home after the breakup, but you had a job that you really loved, and you just couldn’t bring yourself to leave it.

You had friends nearby, too. The only problem was that Jensen was the one who introduced you to them, which made you feel a little uncomfortable. Gen had already reached out to you. She’d left a message wanting to get together to hang out. You hadn’t responded yet. You just weren’t sure if you could handle the inevitable conversation she’d want to have about the breakup.

You pulled out your corkscrew and a wine glass from your box labeled “kitchen” and opened the bottle of white wine you’d gotten on your quick grocery trip earlier in the day. As you took your first sip, you sat down again and let your mind wander to the beginnings of your relationship with Jensen.

Two Years Earlier - You

It had been by chance that you’d met the green-eyed actor at a coffee shop in your small town of Salida, Colorado. He’d been on his way home from a fan convention in Denver and had taken a wrong turn. He’d wanted to make the long drive alone to clear his head, and you’d learn later how stubborn he was about using the GPS on his phone.

He’d come into the coffee shop you frequented to get some caffeine and directions. You’d recognized him, of course, since you were a fan of Supernatural. You’d always kept up with the show, but you weren’t a big enough fan to have gone to the convention.

“Excuse me, miss,” you heard, looking up from your laptop in surprise. Though you’d noticed him enter the shop immediately, you’d never expected him to talk to you.

“I’m on my way back to Texas, and I think I’m a little lost. I don’t have any service on my phone, but I’m using the Wi-Fi here to look at Google Maps.”

You nodded, listening to his explanation while still wondering why he was talking to you of all people.

“Can you take a look and tell me if this is a good route back to I-25?” he asked, giving you a dazzling smile. You returned it, and took his phone.

“Sure,” you said, looking at the route his phone was going to take him. It looked fine, which only added to your confusion at the question he was asking you. Surely the app could tell Jensen what the fastest or easiest route was.

“That is a good option,” you said, handing him his phone back. “And when you go through Trinidad, there’s a great little barbecue place off Main Street you should check out. Awesome pulled pork and even better cheese fries.”

He nodded, his eyes surprised. “Thanks—“ he paused, stretching out his hand in an invitation to shake yours.

“Y/N,” you responded, placing your hand in his calloused one.

“Y/N,” he repeated. “I’m Jensen.”

“I know,” you said with a smirk. He let out a chuckle and stood there for another moment, as if deciding something.

“Would it be weird if I asked to buy you a cup of coffee?” he asked finally.

“Hmm, I have coffee,” you replied, glancing at the paper cup in front of you. He seemed to deflate a little, and you quickly continued. “But I would love a scone.”

He smiled again, giving you a wink as he headed to the counter. After he bought your scone and his own coffee, he returned to your table where he asked if he could join you.

You made small talk for a little bit. You told him you liked his show; he asked you about your life in Salida; you joked easily with each other. Before you knew it, a couple of hours had gone by.

“Well, I really should get going. I have a long drive ahead of me,” Jensen said, leaning back in his chair.

“Yeah, good idea,” you responded. You had really enjoyed your talk with him, even if it was just a random moment in your life and you never saw him again.

“Do you think I could see you again?” he asked, looking a little nervous. It was very cute, especially since he was a famous actor.

“Might be a little tough, what with living a thousand miles apart,” you said with a smirk. You saw his shoulders sink a little. “How about I give you my number. If you ever want to talk, I’ll answer.”

“Hmm,” he said, nodding. “It’s not ideal, but I’ll take what I can get, sweetheart.”

You smiled coyly and put your number in his phone. “It was great to meet you, Jensen. I hope we meet again.”

“Oh, I think we will, Y/N,” he said confidently. You shook your head with a smile as he backed away from the table and out the door. I will never hear from him again, you thought as you watched him get into his car that was parked on the street. Little did you know, one day later he would prove you wrong.

Forevers:

@divadinag @lynne1993 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @onethirstyunicorn @sammykb1994 @lilulo-12 @mellorine-paprika @tranquility-or-chaos @collette04 @hoboal87 @chevyharvelle @miraclesoflove @defenderrosetyler @babypink224221 @calaofnoldor @beatifuldisaster018 @coffeebooksandfandom @supernatural3002 @lainxcas @mylovelydame21 @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @lovely-lynns-likes @ppeachygemss @screechingartisancashbailiff @metalfangirl @vicmc624 @polina-93 @hobby27 @sexyvixen7 @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @lyarr24 @amelia-song-pond @donnaintx @spnbaby-67 @traceyaudette @gh0stgurl @fiftyshadesgrl @tapedeck-hearts @lacilou @foxyjwls007 @stoneyggirl2

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addicted-obsessed · 1 month

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J2 @ AHBL12 Melbourne, Australia 🤍

#my photos #J2 #SPN #AHBL12 #AHBL #Jared and Jensen #Jensen and Jared #Jensen Ackles #Jackles #Jarpad #Jared Padalecki

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brinleyparke · 3 months

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Dean: I slept for almost 12 hours, but I might still be tired, so let's go for 12 more just in case.

Sam: Dean, that's a coma.

Dean: Sounds festive.

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mrswinnie04 · 8 months

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OUR FAVORITE HUSBANDS ARE BACK TOGETHER AND LOOKIN AS STUNNING AS EVER🥺💗

1) Jensen’s new mustache is AH-MAZING! Like I was a big fan of TOP GUN, so ya’ll already know I freak out whenever a guy has a stache! IT LOOKS SO DAMN GOOD! AHHHH!

2) Baby Jared🥺 this man is adorable!

Also can we just examine the fact that HE IS CARRYING ALL HIS SHIRTS😂😂 now I wanna know if Jensen bought him all those shirts too??? These two are too cute!!

3) I’m just so happy to see them together again! I mean, i know our boys prob saw each other in private/away from the public eye, but when we get to see them together, out and about, it just warms my heart🥺🥺

These two seemed to have a bit of a rough summer (ie. Jensen looking a little tired in some photos from the last few months and Jared feeling a little under the weather + his last post) and I’m just so happy that they get this time in NC together. I said this before and I’ll always say this—they’re so much better together💗

HAPPY NC CON!!!

CAN’T WAIT FOR THEIR PANELS!!

#supernatural #dean winchester #j2 #j2 tinhat #spnfan #spnfandom #jared and jensen #jared padalecki #jensen ackles #jensen and jared #j2soulmates #j2 love #the epic love story of sam and dean #the epic love story of Jensen and Jared #spn #jensen loves jared #jared loves jensen

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alwaysbepositive · 3 months

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The Winchester Brothers forever ❤️❤️

#supernatural #spn #the winchester brothers #dean and sam #sam and dean #brothers #bromance #dean winchester #jensen ackles #sam winchester #jared padalecki #jared and jensen #jensen and jared

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klaydiaries · 2 months

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I'm gonna cry😭🤧 he is so cutee

#jensen ackles #dean #jackles #jensen ross ackles #jensenedit #spn #supernatural #soldier boy #ahbl #ahbl12 #auction #jensen and jared #dean winchester

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let-me-be-your-home · 10 months

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pinkiebieberpie · 10 months

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dean's instagram account

supernatural masterlist

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lucidlivi · 10 months

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That's How You Do It

Requested: @heavenlyackles

Tags: @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @perpetualabsurdity @antisocialcorrupt @k-slla @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @deans-spinster-witch

Warnings: alcohol consumption, pining, jealousy, some language, and hot sex!

switching point of view indicated with italics.

Reader

I thought I was at peak happiness when I got the call from my agent, telling me that I had been casted in the new CW show supernatural. It was my first big break, and I just had a feeling this show was going to change my life.

It was the happiest moment of my life.

I didn't know when joining the cast that I'd gain a best friend and a family. I loved all the cast, but found myself closer to Jensen than any other cast member. He was my best friend. It was a good thing we were so comfortable with each other, considering our characters played love interests on the show. It made filming a lot less awkward.

"on your marks." the director yelled.

Jensen and I smiled at each other before getting in to character. We were about to film a scene where our characters have an argument but kiss and make up.

I was nervous for the kiss. It wasn't the first time we'd kissed on screen, but it was the first time that the feelings behind the kiss were moving off screen.

I wasn't exactly sure when I blurred the lines of our friendship. I just knew they were definitely blurred. I was completely in love with him, and he was either completely clueless, or knew and just didn't want to hurt my feelings because he didn't feel the same.

either way, we had a good thing going, and I wasn't going to ruin our friendship by spilling feelings.

"and action."

I quickly put on an angry face before delivering my lines.

"you can't be serious Dean, this is suicide!"

"yeah well it's all we have right now." Jensen said putting prop weapons in the trunk of the impala.

"there has to be another way."

Jensen flipped around getting in my face.

"there's no other way, don't you get that? if we don't do this.." Jensen tapered off his line with a shake of his head and then flipped back around continuing with what he was doing.

I walked to my next mark, standing beside him.

"why do you always do this?"

"do what?" he grumbled.

"think that you have to do everything alone?" I recited.

Jensen was quiet, as he took a deep breath, signifying his character was in distress. I placed a hand on his arm, following the script.

"I'm here Dean, please let me in."

I took a shaky breath, here it was, the kiss.

Jensen turned around, wrapping his arm behind my back, and crashed. his lips to mine. I put my hand on the back of his head pulling him closer. I was so lost in the kiss, I barely heard the director yell cut.

Jensen pulled away leaving a tingling feeling on my lips.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Jared joked coming in to the shot.

"you're just jealous you don't get to kiss Jensen." I joked, taking a sip from my water bottle that was sitting nearby.

"Oh please I can kiss him anytime I want." Jared said placing a wet sloppy kiss to Jensen's cheek.

I gagged making both boys laugh.

"just because it's your birthday, I won't punch you for that." Jensen laughed.

Jared was about to respond when the Director informed us we'd be done shooting for the day.

"so eight o'clock right, we're all meeting for drinks?" I questioned making sure I knew the plan for tonight.

Jared shook his head confirming. Jensen was unusually quiet. He usually was lately after we finished filming kissing scenes. It made me feel that much worse.

"I'm going to go get ready then, see you guys tonight." I smiled turning away from my costars.

Jensen

"dude when are you going to tell her?" Jared spoke as soon as she was out of sight.

It was no secret that after all the hours of filming with her, all the scenes where our characters were kissing, or wrapped up in each other that the lines between acting and reality had blurred.

I found myself looking forward to kissing or sex scenes, anyway that would give me the chance to be close to her. I swear the writers wrote more in to the script just for me.

I was in love with her, and everyone knew... well everyone except her.

or the other possibility, the one that kept me from revealing my feelings, was that she did know, but didn't feel the same.

either way, we had a good thing going, and I wasn't going to ruin our friendship by spilling feelings.

"uh how about never"

"so you're just going to keep pining after her like a love sick puppy?"

"you know what Jar, your birthday only lasts for a few more hours, and then I'm punching you."

"besides, I don't even know what to say to her, I get all nervous." I added feeling exactly like a love sick puppy.

"you get nervous?" Jared laughed.

"you know now I don't even care that it's your birthday, come here." I growled putting him in a head lock.

Jared was easily able to get out of it due to his sheer height.

"look man, all I'm saying is she might have feelings for you too."

I looked at him for a moment. I guess it was possible, but I wasn't about to get my hopes up and ruin everything we've built.

"yeah I'm good with never."

"J, I'm trying to help you out here, I mean god damn you got a boner just from kissing her." Jared laughed.

I looked down to see I was indeed sporting a noticeable boner. I quickly adjusted myself so it was no longer noticeable.

"you tell anyone about this and you won't make it to your next birthday." I threatened him with a stern look.

"got it, jerk." Jared smirked shoving my shoulder.

"bitch."

It was silent for a moment before a booming voice broke it.

"how are my two favorite sons?"

Jeff came up wrapping an arm around me and Jared. He wasn't that much older than us in reality, but never the less treated us as if we were his real sons.

"just trying to teach Jensen how to flirt." Jared spoke up making me hit him in the gut.

"you still haven't told that girl?" Jeff asked looking at me disappointedly.

"I"m going to need both of you to hop off my dick." I grumbled walking to my trailer.

of course they both followed, continuing their agonizing teasing.

"I don't see why you won't just tell her, I mean it's been four seasons." Jeff said fixing his hair in my mirror.

"I told you guys, we have a good friendship, and feelings ruin friendships." I said stripping out of my Dean costume and into a red flannel with a pair of jeans.

"unless girl reciprocates feelings, then friendship turns into relationship and then friends can finally stop haggling you." Jared said pushing my buttons.

"look I'm not telling her, and that's final." I growled exiting the trailer.

god they didn't know when to let shit go. I wasn't followed this time and I was thankful. I grabbed a beer chugging it.

I call it pregaming before tonight.

Jared

Jeff and I watched Jensen leave in a huff.

"he's really got it bad." I said causing Jeff to nod his head in agreement.

Jeff looked at me, a mischievous look on his face.

He was plotting.

"I like that look, what are you thinking?" I grinned.

"what if we make him tell her?" Jeff said.

I scoffed, yeah like that's ever going to happen.

"how do you suppose we do that?"

"Jensen's never been one to handle jealousy well, I think I have the perfect idea! Now come on, birthday boy can't be late for his own party now can he?"

Reader

I smoothed out my black party dress before applying a thin layer of lip gloss to my plump lips.

"okay who are you and what have you done with my girl?"

I turned around giving a smile to Genevieve. She was a recurring character on the show, and now Jared's girlfriend.

"I could say the same about you, are you uh dressing up for Jared's after party present?" I smirked, looking at her very revealing outfit.

"is it too much?" Gen asked covering her body.

"no, not at all, he'll definitely be smitten." I smiled running a hand through my hair.

"not as smitten as Jensen will be with you." Gen said, grabbing my lip gloss before applying some to her lips.

"I don't think so."

"please, that boy literally drools over you, everyone sees it." Gen said pushing her boobs up to make sure they looked good for Jared.

I rolled my eyes at her laughing.

"you're ridiculous Gen."

"think what you will, but I have a feeling this will be quite the interesting night." she said before skipping out to meet the boys.

"oh I'm sure it will be......for you." I muttered before joining her.

Gen was already lip locking with Jared, and I'm sure giving him a taste of what was to come later. I locked eyes with Jensen giving him a smile. He looked handsome in his red flannel and jeans. He always looked handsome though.

"you look beautiful." Jensen said offering me a smile.

"not to shabby yourself Ackles." I smirked.

He was about to say something else when arms wrapped around me from behind in a hug, hoisting me in the air.

"there's my favorite firecracker."

I instantly recognized the voice as Jeffery Dean Morgan. It's been awhile since he was on the show as his character John was killed off in season two.

"Jeff put me down." I laughed.

He instantly put me down, turning me around so I was facing him. He looked different. He was sporting white in his hair and beard now. Don't get me wrong he still looked incredible, just different.

"how have these boys been treating you?" Jeff asked glancing at Jensen with a smirk.

"same old same old although Misha takes the brunt of the jokes now." I laughed.

"yeah, no kidding." Misha said, appearing with his wife.

I greeted fellow cast mates and friends before everyone dispersed in to the bar to start celebrating Jared. I ordered some whiskey, going to look for my friend. I felt my chest tighten as I saw Jensen talking to a beautiful blonde.

"need a drinking partner?"

"only because it's you." I smiled as I turned around to meet eyes with Jeff.

Jensen

"like can you believe that?"

I smiled at the woman, she was a fan and was talking my ear off. I didn't want to be rude, because I knew without my fans I wouldn't be anywhere, but at the same time, I couldn't wait to get away from this girl to hang out with the girl I really wanted to.

"yep, totally unbelievable." I gave a stale response hoping she'd get the gist, but of course she didn't.

I let my eyes wonder around the bar as this girl droned on with a story I didn't really care about. I was looking for one person in particular. I finally spotted her at the end of the bar, the sound of her laughter filling my ears. I felt my chest burn with jealousy as I saw the source of her laughter.

Jeff sat beside her, a bottle of whiskey between the two. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder as he told her something else making her laugh.

What the hell was he doing? He knows how I feel about her!

"are you okay?" the girl asked waving a hand in front of my face to grab my attention.

"sorry, I uh gotta go."

I walked over finding Jared who was grinding with Genevieve. I grabbed his arm making him protest.

"do you see that!?" I exclaimed pointing towards where they sat, a little too close for my liking.

"I see two friends talking." Jared shrugged.

"okay that's way more than friendly." I grumbled.

"If it bothers you so much why don't you go say something." Jared said as if the solution was so simple.

"I can't then she'll know that.."

"that you're jealous." Jared smirked.

"I am not jealous." I scoffed.

"no, not at all." Jared said his voice laced with a hint of sarcasm.

"maybe I'm a little jealous."

"a little?"

"don't push it." I growled.

"look dude, I doubt anything is happening, you know what Jeff is like when he's drunk, he talks out of his ass and he's a little too affectionate." Jared tried to assure me.

He was probably right. I was just being paranoid.

"now if you don't mind my girlfriend is looking exceptionally hot tonight, and is exceptionally horny."

I gagged pushing him away from me back towards Gen.

I couldn't fight the feeling of dread. I sat down at the bar ordering a couple shots. I kept my eyes on them, wishing I'd have the courage to go over and interrupt.

I wasn't going to ruin our friendship.... I just had to keep telling myself that.

I didn't realize how long I'd sat watching them until I saw people starting to disperse. Jared and Gen dipped out awhile ago and were no doubt fucking somewhere right now.

I felt my heart drop as Jeff got up, offering her his hand before leading her towards the door. I growled as she went with him willingly. I tried to calm my demeanor as they were passing me.

"oh hang on Jeff, I forgot my phone." (y/n) said dropping his hand and running back to the end of the bar where they were sitting.

Jeff turned to me, and I could no longer control my jealous rage.

"that's how you flirt with a pretty woman." Jeff whispered offering me a smirk.

If we weren't in a public place, I'd probably get up right then and there and punch him in the face. I can't believe he'd do something like this to me. I thought he was my friend. I was about to respond but she came back in to view.

"ready to go?" she asked with a smile.

"absolutely." Jeff smirked.

"you okay J?" I heard her sweet voice ask.

I was the furthest thing from okay, but I doubt she cared anyways.

"just peachy." I grumbled.

Jeff smirked one last time, leading her out of the hotel bar. I purchased a fifth of whiskey, taking it up to my room to drown out my sorrows in booze. Any chance I had was now squashed, and I was absolutely miserable.

Reader

I woke up with a pounding headache. I definitely drank too much last night. I got up stretching my limbs, before throwing on a sweatshirt. I was going to go check on Jensen as I didn't get to talk to him much last night.

At first I was talking with Jeff to distract me from the fact Jensen was chatting with a girl, but then I found myself genuinely enjoying his presence. I forgot how easy he was to talk to, and I missed his company. I knocked on Jensen's hotel door, hearing a faint come in.

I walked in to see Jensen sipping coffee with a frown on his face, his hair sticking up in different directions.

"damn what happened to you?" I joked collapsing on his bed.

He was silent as he sipped his coffee and read the newspaper.

"oh god I'm never drinking again." I groaned putting a hand to my head dramatically.

"you shouldn't after last night." Jensen grumbled from behind the newspaper.

I sat up on the bed confused. What in the hell was he going on about? I didn't do anything last night?

"what are you talking about?"

Jensen sighed before setting down the newspaper.

"do you even remember last night?" He asked.

"uh yeah.." I confirmed even more confused at what he was going on about.

"so you meant to do that?" He scoffed.

"J, what are you going on about?"

He grumbled before picking up his coffee cup again.

"it's nothing... I just didn't think you'd be a one to have a one night stand with a costar."

I nearly choked on my saliva. I burst in to a fit of laughter causing Jensen to glare at me angrily.

"hold the phone, I didn't sleep with anyone." I said still laughing.

"but you and Jeff?"

"were talking about our mutual love of 80's music, extensively might I add, he wanted to show me a new vinyl he got, so we left the bar and went to his room so he could show me. I listened to it with him and afterwards went to my hotel room to sleep.... alone." I said emphasizing that I was alone last night.

I could see Jensen's cheeks don a rose color in embarrassment.

"god I'm an idiot." He laughed.

I joined in his laughter nodding my head. He really could be and idiot sometimes.

"I can't believe I thought you actually slept with Jeff." He said shaking his head in disbelief.

I gave him a confused look.

"not uh that there's anything wrong with Jeff, I mean he's a great guy and all, it's just that he's not uh..." Jensen nervously rambled.

"not you?" I questioned before biting my lip.

Jensen was taken back by my words.

"were you jealous J?" I asked taking a step closer to him.

He scoffed trying to play cool.

"of course not, I'm not a jealous guy."

"oh good, so it won't bother you that we made out a little bit while listening to the vinyl." I shrugged trying to get under his skin.

"wait really?" Jensen asked, his face falling.

I felt really bad now, his voice sounded broken .

"no not really, I just wanted you to admit you were jealous." I smirked.

Jensen breathed a noticeable sigh of relief.

"fine, I was jealous." Jensen whispered.

"what was that? I didn't catch it?" I laughed wanting him to admit it louder.

"I was jealous okay!"

"J, you have no reason to be jealous." I smiled.

"of course I do, god you're fucking perfect, and any guy would be lucky to have you, and here I am completely in love with you and too scared to do anything about it for fear of messing up our friendship when you inevitably tell me you don't feel the same way."

I felt my mouth drop open in shock. Jensen was in love with me?

Now this was officially the happiest moment of my life.

"and I know I probably just ruined everything anyways and you probably don't..." Jensen started to ramble on but I cut him off.

"shut up and just kiss me already." I smiled.

Jensen looked shocked but wasted no time closing the gap between us before slamming his lips on mine. I kissed him back hungrily pouring all of my pent up feelings into the kiss. I gripped the ends of his hair tugging it as our mouths devoured each other. He grabbed my ass making me gasp, he took that moment to slip his tongue in my mouth deepening the kiss. I pulled away after a moment, gasping for air.

"you really are an idiot sometimes." I laughed as he leaned his forehead against mine.

"you don't know how long I've wanted to do that off screen." Jensen said taking a deep breath.

"I stopped acting a long time ago." I said cupping his cheek with my hand.

"does that mean?"

"I love you too." I spilled.

Jensen's eyes lit up as he placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I grabbed the back of his neck bringing him back down in a kiss. I was the one to slip my tongue between his lips this time, deepening our passionate kiss.

"you have no idea the things I've dreamt about doing to you." Jensen panted as he came up for air.

I placed a kiss along his jaw line, kissing to his neck.

"why don't you show me?" I whispered seductively.

Jensen didn't need anymore convincing. I squealed as he picked me up in his strong arms, throwing me on the bed. I watched as he ripped his shirt off revealing his toned chest and abs. I clenched my thighs together, getting hot just at the sight of him alone. He hovered over me connecting our lips once again in a heated kiss.

I gasped as he moved his lips from mine, down to my neck. I could feel him suck on a sensitive spot making me omit a moan. His hands traveled under my sweatshirt, slowly removing it from my body. I instinctively covered my chest, feeling insecure laying under him.

"don't, you're breathtaking." Jensen said removing my arms.

I relaxed a little bit as his lips went back to my neck, this time traveling down my collarbone towards my breasts. His hands grabbed the straps of my bra gently pulling it down exposing me. I could see his eyes fill with lust as he stared at me.

Jensen removed my bra completely before taking one of my nipples in his mouth. I moaned as his hands traveled down my sides to my clothed heat. He started to rub me through the fabric of my shorts, driving me insane. I rolled my hips in to his hand needing more friction.

"Jensen please." I whined.

His lips released my nipple before crashing back on my own. I took the opportunity to fumble with the tie on his sweatpants before reaching my hand in and palming him through his boxers.

"I love you so much." Jensen said with a pant.

"I love you J."

"I want to make love to you."

"please.”

with my consent he put his hands in the waist band of my shorts, pulling my shorts and panties down in one swift movement. I was already so hot for him.

"damn baby, already ready for me." Jensen smirked licking his lips.

"I want you so bad baby." I whined tugging at his sweatpants.

Jensen smirked before standing up to discard of his sweatpants and boxers. I felt the blush creep on my cheeks as I stared at his length. He caught me, offering a smirk before pulling out a foil, opening it and unrolling it on to himself. Jensen hovered back over me, returning his lips to my own. I gasped in to the kiss as Jensen slowly slid inside of me.

"you alright baby?" Jensen asked wiping some hair that was stuck to my forehead.

I adjusted to him quicker than I thought.

"move J please." I whined.

"as you wish princess."

Jensen moved his hips, pulling out before sliding back inside. I moaned as my fingers trailed up and down his back. Jensen thrusted softly at first before picking up his pace. He snuck kisses in every now and then. I moaned loudly as he thrusted harder in to me, making the bed shake.

"fuck baby, I've been waiting so long for this." Jensen moaned.

"you feel so good J." I panted, digging my nails in to his back.

Jensen snapped his hips a few more times before I noticed his thrusts becoming sloppier.

"I can't hold it much longer baby." He whined.

I moaned in response, feeling the knot in my stomach getting tighter and tighter. A few more thrusts had both Jensen and I spilling our arousal on to each other. I moaned heavily, riding out my euphoric high. Jensen slowed his thrusts before pulling out completely, making me feel empty inside.

I watched as he disposed of the condom before collapsing beside me He pulled me to him, allowing me to lay my head on his chest. He wrapped an arm around me, the other going behind his head to prop him up.

"I knew I loved you shortly after we met, I didn't want to ruin our friendship either, in case you didn't feel the same." I said looking up at Jensen.

"I've wanted to tell you for so long, I just couldn't bring myself to, in case you didn't feel the same, It wasn't until I saw you with Jeff that I realized that I needed you to know."

"I guess we should be thanking him then." I joked.

"yeah about that.." Jensen smirked reaching for his phone on the night stand.

I gave him a confused look as he pulled up Jeff's contact information, typing him a message.

: and that's how you man up and get the girl....hope we didn't disturb you too much 😏

I laughed at Jensen flaunting us.

"what's that about?" I asked.

"that is a story for a different time, I have years of pining to make up for." Jensen laughed flipping us over to so he could kiss me again.

Yep.

This is peak happiness.

Author Note:

I hope you like it! I loved this request, and it's honestly my favorite thing I've written on here so far! I can't wait to do the others! If you enjoy it please heart, reblog, comment and follow! I adore you all!

xoxo

Liv

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