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#jay oneshots
sunghoonbite · 1 month
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okay how about enha's (the members you write for) reaction to reader crying during like really rough sex?
pairing: hyung line (- hoon) x reader
warnings: nsfw, rough sex, dacryphilia, choking, degradation, throat fucking, biting, mentions of marks and bruises
minors dni before reading
oh anon i love you . your mind. this took so long im sorry but i love this. i’ll get to my other rqs soon i swear. hope this makes up for the wait
when heeseung fucks, he fucks hard. and that’s exactly how you found yourself face down pressed into his mattress, whimpering out into the pillow beneath you.
heeseung gets carried away often. first he gets distracted by your outfit, and then by your curves, thighs, and body. when he gets his hands on you, he’s unable to stop. for lack of a better term, he thinks with his dick. so when he’s inside you, pounding you from behind as you whine, he goes faster with each noise. every little shiver of movement, every sound, he gets addicted to the feeling of you against him.
he gripped your waist, palms tightening into your skin, pulling you closer to him as if he wasn’t already inside of you. he let out a groan before fucking you harder, resulting in your legs giving out. to this, he responded by holding your weight up and continuing.
overstimulated by the feeling of him thrusting in and out of you, your legs shook. he was fast, panting, shakily moaning as he fucked you. he didn’t think. he just continued to fill you up, completely ignoring the possibility that he might be too rough.
“heeseung,” you shakily cried out, gripping the sheets.
“yeah?” he said, breathlessly, distracted by pleasure. you felt good, so fucking good clenched around him.
“too much, hee,” you whined. you hadn’t realized, but you had started to cry. tears that resulted from his coarseness formed, although not falling from your eyes yet, you sniffled.
“shit,” he spoke, pulling out at the sound. he began to console you, whispering out “hey, hey hey,” unintentionally conjoining each word together with the pace of his speech.
his grip on your waist made it easy to turn you around on your back, and he leaned over your body to wipe away tears that had found their way out of your eyes.
although embarrassed, you missed the feeling of him in you as soon as he pulled out, despite the roughness that took place. you lightly held onto his hand that now cupped your face.
“you didn’t have to stop,” you said, softly.
“but you’re crying?” he questioned in a similar soft tone, inadvertently tilting his head to the side as he spoke. he didn’t release his hand from your face just yet, allowing his thumb to rub against your jaw.
“i don’t mind,” you responded, “it feels good when it’s too much,” attempting to hide your humiliation for requesting him to continue.
heeseung’s lips curled up, and he turned his head to cover his smug expression. he readjusted, and spread your legs.
“yeah? you wanna cry for me, then?” his tone shifted, “wanna sob on my dick when you can’t take it anymore?”
your hands found their way to your head immediately, concealing your face. he didn’t typically fuck you in missionary, so having him above you, right above you, felt like you were on display. it was impossible to look him in the eye as he spoke to you in such a way, but he didn’t care. he enveloped your hands with his and pinned them each beside your head.
“missionary? why?” you somehow managed to ask, stumbling over your words as you looked to the side, avoiding his gaze.
he exhaled.
“i wanna see you,” he replied before entering you once again, “you look so fucking pretty when you cry.”
jay is usually pretty gentle during sex, unless you make an effort to let him know that you wanted him to be rougher than usual. he has absolutely no problem with that, since he’s actually been hoping you’d offer. he’s respectful, too respectful, which makes you want a taste of something more harsh. luckily for you, he can be a mean dom.
when it actually came down to it though, he was more intense than you had in mind.
“sit down,” he ordered. you did.
he placed his thumb and pointer finger between your chin, and tugged lightly to open your mouth. you allowed him, parting your lips more.
he unbuckled his belt mere inches away from your face, letting his pants fall and his clothed bulge stare back at you.
once he uncovered his cock, he didn’t even begin to warm you up before entering your mouth almost entirely. you let out a small whimper at his size, and he grabbed a fistful of your hair in response.
he started to rock his hips back and forth, moans falling out of his mouth as he fucked yours. jay had never made you suck him off in such a way, so quickly filling your throat and making you gag.
before tonight, he’d often brush stray hairs from your flushed face as he guided you to lick his tip and downwards, slowly easing up to gently permit you to suck him off at your pace. he’d release small groans as you did.
“fuck, doing so good, baby,” he’d say, with a smile as he looked down at you.
now, though, he had your hair gripped as he smacked his cock to the back of your throat. he barely gave you air to breathe in as he relentlessly fucked your throat, forcing you to rely on just your nose to inhale.
you looked up to him with watering eyes from the intensity, clawing your fingernails into the sheets that rested below you to release tension.
it’s not that you didn’t enjoy it, quite the opposite, actually. but he was so harsh, so fucking ruthless and it made your throat burn. taking him into your mouth at all was a struggle due to his size, and here he was, forcing you to take it. honestly, it was all you ever wanted from him and more, but you couldn’t help the tears falling from his rough his cock felt hitting your throat.
jay removed himself, and placed a hand on your cheek, tilting your head up to him.
“too much? do you need me to stop?” he asked, sweat dripping from his dark hair. his chest rose and fell expeditiously with his hurried breaths.
“no, jay,” you mumbled, voice sounding a little more desperate than you anticipated, “keep going, please. make me cry.”
it didn’t give him a second thought before he parted your jaw and fucked into you once again, keeping his grip on your hair tightened, fixing your head into place so that he could look at you.
tears fell and you sniffled, looking up at him with sparkling eyes, and he took his thumb to rub the droplets away.
“so fucking pretty,” he muttered, “such a good girl, crying on my dick.”
fucking jake is exciting. he’s always up for trying new things, which includes rough sex. however, he was always worried of hurting you, despite your pleas for him to bite and mark you. he had convinced himself that he would simply be too much for you, not realizing that’s exactly what you wanted to happen. you wanted him to completely lose control, lost in the way he fucked himself into you.
concerned, he’d constantly check in with you during his attempts to be rough. it’s not that he didn’t want to fuck you, marking you as his in the process, but it was all so new. what if you felt too hurt?
“fuck,” he’d groan under his breath, starting to pick up the pace unknowingly, thrusting his hips into you. when he realized, though…
“shit, sorry,” jake would say, slowing down to a more gentle speed.
you never minded. he’s just shy, you thought.
jake was absolutely not shy. he’d spit into his palm and fuck his hand, murmuring your name when you weren’t around. he’d look at innocent pictures of you, smiling and posing, wondering how you’d look with mascara running down your pretty cheeks. he’d stare at your exposed skin in your off-the-shoulder top and hold back biting your skin until it became red, his teeth creating crevices and marks. he’d watch as you make a cup of coffee in the kitchen, quietly fantasizing about bending you over the counter.
tonight, as you laid beneath him in missionary position, he connected his lips with yours as he adjusted inside you.
“so tight,” he muttered, biting his lip unconsciously as his hands rested on each side of your body.
he felt his hips jerk into you like usual, stopping himself before going further, his eyes fixated on the curves of your body. he wanted more of you.
you let out a moan at him going deeper, but as always, he continued agonizingly slow. he was shy, you thought, but you knew he wanted to be deeper inside you. you knew he wanted more.
“jake,” you whimpered out, eyes gazing upwards to meet his.
“sorry, i know,” he quickly apologized before you could continue, “i’ll be gentle.”
“don’t,” you protested, desperation evident in your voice that you failed at covering, “please, be rough with me.”
with that, jake’s eyes lit up a little, “hm?”
“i don’t want you to be gentle. i want you harder,” you explained, moans getting caught in your words as he was still inside you, “please jake.”
he didn’t respond, but he dipped his head towards your shoulder, taking your skin in between and bit, exactly how he imagined before. he let out a groan, feeling you against his teeth, before fucking into you as deep as he could.
your back arched subconsciously, nails digging into his back as you whined out, tears already piercing into your eyes at his size.
“this is what you wanted, yeah?” he asked, voice raspy due to his low tone. his mouth traveled to your neck as he decided to leave his mark there, too.
“yes, jake,” you struggled to speak, “fuck.”
at your strained voice, his head adjusted so that he could look down at you. your face twisted into an expression he hadn’t quite seen you make before, eyes shut closed and mouth wide agape. he began to pound you, repeatedly now, your tears now beginning to fall.
he picked up the pace at that, aroused by how your mascara smeared. it was better than he imagined, and he resisted cumming inside you right then and there.
“you okay?” jake said, having to make sure, although knowing it was likely exactly what you wanted.
“yes,” you replied in a breathy whimper. his hand met your throat and he tightened his grip slightly, choking you a bit, but not to the point of harming you.
“good,“ he replied, “taking me so fucking well. my pretty slut.”
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jaeyunluvr · 22 days
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just for you (p.js)
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"i wanna get married." you say as you drown in the warmth of your boyfriend's embrace. the tv played soft noises in the background, as it's light illuminated his face, changing hues from time to time.
jay perks up at your statement.
"to whom?"
you laugh at his question. "who else? to my oh so loving boyfriend." you say as you eye him dreamily.
it was the absolute truth and you swore it came from the bottom of your heart. everything about jay was so dear to you. the way he looked at you, the way he held your hand oh so gently, the way he cooked your meals for you, pouring all his love into it. the way he spoke to you, the way he held you against his chest like you were everything to him. the way he would surprise you with little gifts at random times. "it's the little things that count, sweetheart." he would say.
the thought of spending your whole lifetime with such a perfect man by your side, giving you all the love in the world. it made you feel dizzy with happiness. there was nothing you wanted more than this.
"i think that's quite a huge long term plan, sweetheart." he spoke with a slight giggle.
"yes it is." you said, the smile on your face getting ever so bright. "but i think it's the only long term plan i have for my life."
jay's heart swelled. he utterly adored the way you said it. the smile on your face gave away all of your thoughts. he could read you clearly. he knew all about your silly thoughts of running away with him and living in a cottage in a little village. you've talked about it before.
and oh yes he remembers. he remembers every little thing you talk about and every tiny detail about you. it's his way of showing love. showing that you're being noticed, showing that you're being looked after, showing that he took interest in you, showing that he cared.
thinking about it, jay wanted to spend the rest of his life with you too. he loved you despite your imperfections. hell, he thought you were perfect. he loved how you always showed concern towards him. he loved how you appreciated the effort he puts into everything he does. he loves how you sense it when he's feeling down, and pull him into one of the softest hugs ever. "i will take away all of your worries baby" you'd say.
"does this mean i have to buy you a ring?" he says playfully and you narrow your eyes at him.
"is that what you inferred from what i've said?" you say pouting at him.
"i mean yes, but that also means i wanna get married to you too. so badly actually." he pressed his lips against yours, leaving a lingering peck, dripping with love.
moments like this, made you feel that this man was made just for you and you wouldn't trade him for the world.
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zreamy · 1 year
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nothing to lose
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pairing: jay park x fem!reader
summary: after a hockey party, a football game, and a near perfect first kiss, jay is humbled by his (practically silent) friend sunghoon, who reminds him that he has nothing to lose.
genres: university / college au, friends (uni crushes) to lovers, smut, fluff
warnings: minors dni, vaguely (very?) british undertones..
word count: 24,064 .. sorry.
playlist: awkward sza, do you like me? daniel caesar
author's note: please just be nice to me and let me know your thoughts (positive / negative / anything as long as ur not mean abt it) .. thank u @asahicore my rock, my bestie, my beta reader .. <333 hope u enjoy !!!
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When you pair his kind eyes and charming smile with his ever-positive outlook on life, it’s easy to see why Park Jongseong is heavily popular amongst the student body; even described by your flatmates (and the rest of his fan club) as the stuff of dreams. And in your dreams, you know exactly why he’s staring in your direction with a sweet smile on his face. In real life, however, you have absolutely no idea and it’s kind of weird. Not his smile itself, no, his smile is.. really pretty, but it’s kind of weird in the sense that it’s directed at you. 
You think. 
Most of the library’s population sits across the room in the computer lab and based on your seat, at an empty table, in the (also empty) far corner, he’s either smiling at you or at the wall that your head is resting on. It’s not until the two of you lock eyes that you feel you should smile back, though your brows knit together at the way he whips his head around in the other direction when you do – a move that seems out of character for the Park Jongseong that you know. Or rather, the Park Jongseong Jay that you knew.
The Jay you knew was a (more than) pleasant enough guy who grinned in a way that pushed a dimple into his cheek every time he got to class and sidled his way through the aisle to sit in the seat next to you. The very first time he did it he’d mistaken you for someone else, his smile faltering slightly as he sat down anyway, a large hand extended to you.
“Jay,” he introduced himself, nodding thoughtfully when you told him your name and holding on to your hand for a split second longer than what was comfortable. And even though it was clear that he’d been sitting in the wrong seat, at Na Jaemin’s end-of-year party months later, you acted shocked when he told you about how he’d forgotten to put his contacts in that morning. Nonetheless, he continued sitting next to you in that class for the rest of the semester.
From your current seat in the library, you watch him curiously, wondering if he might look over again. For two minutes, he leans against a shelf in the reference section, completely unaware of his audience (you) as he types on his phone. You can’t take your eyes off him until the sudden vibration of your phone startles you, your hand reaching for it immediately thinking (hoping?) it might be a text from him.
yj: hockey mixer tn 
yj: what are you guys wearing 
You feel relieved to see that it’s just Yunjin in the group chat, though, as you read the messages, you struggle not to roll your eyes seeing that she (captain of the hockey team) is still trying to convince you (non-member of the hockey team) to go to the hockey mixer. By the looks of things, the field hockey team is the last to take advantage of the space that the student union building has to offer. Functioning as a nightclub over the weekend (and on select weeknights), The U is the place to be if you’re looking for a good time for a good price.
Unlike the other club parties, tonight’s hockey mixer is Yunjin’s answer to concerns raised by members of the students’ union about binge drinking on campus. According to her: “A mixer is an informal gathering where people mingle, interact, and get to know each other. And a party is,” she paused, fixing her eyes on the ceiling as if waiting for divine inspiration to strike. “Fun.” She didn’t seem pleased when you asked if this meant that the mixer would be boring and eventually confessed that the hockey party would be a mixer in name only.
You lock your phone without responding and lift your gaze back to references only to find that Jay is gone; stuck to the part of the bookshelf he was leaning on, you notice a lopsided poster featuring two crossed field hockey sticks and a ball over a green gradient, and a chill runs down your spine. If Yunjin is one thing, she’s bad at graphic design persistent. 
Unfortunately, in all your time spent not working, you find that your laptop hasn’t begun doing your research paper for you, and the Google Doc looks exactly the same as it did when you last edited it one hour ago, with only the intro from the UN’s Sustainable Development Goals website pasted into it. In the bottom left corner of your screen, a white box tells you that it’s 467 words long, and, feeling a rare bout of motivation, you get to work paraphrasing and attempting to condense the text.
As morning turns into afternoon, the library starts to get busier and busier, and despite the low hum of several different conversations creeping in through your earphones, you’ve gotten into a flow with your work and don’t let anything distract you. That is until Jay himself lets his backpack thud onto the table across from you, brows raising a little at the sudden noise, before pulling out the chair and sitting down. 
“Need a study buddy?” he asks, a tentative hand on the zipper of his jacket. 
You take a moment to observe him; the way he asked to join you after having already joined you, settling into the seat before you’d had a chance to say anything. A part of you wants to say “no,” just to see how he reacts, but, with a smile on your face, you take out your earphones and say, “Sure.” 
A grin spreads over his lips as he mumbles the word sweet, shrugging off the oversized coat and letting it drape over the back of his chair, revealing a chunky pair of headphones sitting around his neck and a thin gold chain with a hook pendant on it. His dark hair sits flat on his forehead and he rakes a hand through it twice before taking a textbook out of his bag. He doesn’t touch it, though. Instead, he lets his elbows rest on the table in front of him, biceps flexing slightly under his sleeves as he crosses his forearms. “What are you working on?” he asks.
“A report on the integration of renewable technology in buildings, for my sustainable development class.” 
Jay hums, brows raising slightly. “Renewable tech like solar panels and shit, right?” 
“Right.” 
Another grin, pretty, sincere. “It’s cool you’re getting to learn about the stuff you care about,” he tells you, and even if you hadn’t been looking at him, you’d have been able to hear the smile in his voice, light, sweet. Jay is sweet. The statement trickled out of his mouth so simply, so casually, a small detail that you have to rack your brain to recall sharing with him; still just as attentive as you remember. “Really.”
“Yeah,” you nod, smiling too. “Exactly.” 
There’s a distinct comfort that rolls off of Jay in waves as the two of you chat, and the scene feels familiar. It’s reminiscent of the nights you’d spend together last term, at a table like this one with the notes from your shared Property Law lecture sprawled out in front of you while pretending to study. The two of you would find anything else to talk about, and constantly received dirty looks from the laughter you’d struggle to stifle. 
It’s not until Jay reaches for his textbook that you properly check it out, and as a non-fashion student, you’re not expecting to know what subject he’s studying but you’re pretty sure that Nutrition, Energy, and Human Performance are not part of his curriculum. “Excercise Physiology?” you ask, reading its title.
“I picked it up earlier for Sunghoon. He’s at the rink all morning,” he nods.
“So why are you studying it?”
Jay laughs, shifting in his seat. “It’s, like, the only thing I have in my backpack. I just came over here ‘cause I wanted to say hey.” 
It takes everything in you not to say “aww” out loud; his sweetness palpable, his smile contagious, and his eyes so bright and warm that your heart soars in your chest when you look at them. “Hey,” you say after a beat. 
“Hey,” he chuckles. “How was your break?” 
“It was good! I went home for a week, or so, and then I got bored and came back to hang out with Chaewon,” you tell him, grinning despite yourself at the memory of poorly mixed cocktails and days spent lounging by the pool at her family’s holiday home. “85% of the summer was just us running around being stupid.” 
“And the other 15?” 
You feel more than a little awkward about telling him that you spent the other 15% fooling around with Jaemin, so with a forced smile you tell him, “Just more running around being stupid.” Hopefully, he can’t sense your mild discomfort and thinks you’re scratching your neck because it’s itchy and not because of the slight guilt you feel. “How was yours?” 
“Minus Chaewon, I had, like, the exact same break.” He pauses, breaking out into the widest grin you’ve ever seen. “Oh, and I went to the Yuuri show! It was crazy.” He runs a hand through his hair, sitting up a little straighter in his seat. “I was gonna text you but I didn’t wanna bother you during break or anything.” 
“Oh,” you say, dragging the vowel. “Right. So you’re bothering me during term time instead?” You tease, though with the way Jay’s eyes widen and his brows knit together, it doesn’t seem like he’s caught on to your joking tone. “I’m kidding, tell me all about it,” you add as quickly as you can manage, a huge smile on your face. 
Relief washes over you as Jay laughs, his shoulders shaking, and his nose crinkling, showing off the scar across its bridge that you’ve come to like so much. After calming down, he watches you carefully, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “Right,” he finally says, taking a breath before talking with excitement and at great length about the concert. 
But it isn’t without slight interruption: Jay’s phone vibrates against the table a few times, and he ignores it, eventually turning it on do not disturb before squinting at you. “You’re not allowed to laugh. Pinky promise me you won’t laugh.” He holds his hand out to you, wagging his pinky finger in your face. There’s a smile on his lips when you link your finger with his, his skin rough against your own when he squeezes your pinky. As much as his tight grip is starting to hurt, you (unsuccessfully) fight off a smile when you realise that the two of you are effectively holding hands. 
“I’m not gonna laugh,” you promise.
A beat passes before Jay lets out a chuckle. “That’s my girl,” he says, voice low as if he didn’t want you to hear him. You wish you didn’t hear him. 
When you try to let go, he doesn’t budge, only easing up a little so he’s not cutting off your circulation anymore; just holding it lightly with his. Across the table from you, struggling to meet your eyes, Jay wears a sheepish look. “He threw his pick out into the crowd at the end of the show, and I caught it!” he tells you, looking away. “And I cried..” His voice thins out into practically nothing though you think you hear the words “home,” and “Heeseung,” before he stops talking completely. 
Jay’s sentimental side has tugged at your heart for as long as you’ve known him, and given the way he’d sobbed quietly in his seat at the cinemas when you’d gone out to watch a late showing of Spider-Man 2 together, you find it easy to imagine him welling up over catching Yuuri’s guitar pick. 
For some reason, much like the tears he’d shed over Peter Parker, you find the thought quite cute, and a smile teases at the corners of your mouth as you make a mental note to finally listen to some Yuuri songs later on. Jay looks at you expectantly, and before you have the chance to speak his phone starts to ring, vibrating incessantly against the table, though Jay doesn’t take his eyes off of you. 
“Do you need to get that?” you ask, unable to suppress the snort that makes its way out. 
Jay shakes his head. “You promised me. You’re still promising me,” he says, lips curving into a frown as he makes a show of waving your still-linked hands.  
“No, it’s cute that you cried.” 
He seems shocked by this. “Really?” 
“A little.” 
His mouth falls open in a silent gasp as he furrows his brows at you. “A li—” He’s cut off by his phone vibrating once again, and he releases your pinky to check it. Jay sighs lightly, reading the messages from his screen and picking up the textbook. “Sorry, Hoon’s on my ass about this thing. I gotta go.” 
Disappointment weighs lightly on your shoulders at his words, though you do feel better when you see the little pout on his lips, hoping that it means he doesn’t want your conversation to end either. “I get it,” you say, shooting him a smile that you hope is convincing as he puts the book in his bag before pulling his jacket back on, and standing up from his seat. 
“I’ll text you,” he says cheerfully, waving at you before leaving. He looks over his shoulder a few moments later, waving again with the same smile from earlier on his face. 
You can’t help but watch as he retreats, captivated by the air of confidence he somehow exudes even without showing his face, until he disappears into the mix of students by the entrance, becoming just another bag and shoulders in the crowd. 
Without Jay to chat to, the idea of sitting in the library becomes jarring, and suddenly it’s time for you to leave too. You don’t hesitate to grab your phone when it vibrates twice next to you, an odd combination of the relief from earlier and slight disappointment hitting you when you see that it’s Yunjin — texting you directly this time. 
yj: if you wanna ignore me turn off read receipts 
yj: open bar for girls on the team
you: sounds like the hockey girls are gonna have a good night
yj: i’ll get you a jacket
you: don’t bother i’m not going. 
SWANG rattles through tinny speakers in the student union and with every free drink you knock back, it gets harder and harder to pretend to Yunjin that you’re not having a good time. The team jacket she snagged for you and Chaewon to share fits a little big over your shoulders as you conclude that Number 20 is a lot more popular than you thought if the vaguely disappointed look on many faces when they see your face is anything to go by. 
Sitting in a booth towards the back of The U, you and Yunjin mumble along to the song with a shot in each hand as she starts a countdown from 3! and you wonder whether or not you’ll be able to make it to class in the morn—2!—ing given how much you’ve had to drink and how much of the night is still left to happen 1! The formerly rancid tequila goes down like water the first time around, and gets caught in your throat the second time. 
“I’m so happy you came tonight!” she yells in your ear, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, choosing to gush while you cough into the crook of your elbow. “I always have the most fun with you but you never come out.” Her drunkenness is evident in the slightly higher pitch that her words take on and the way most of the consonants come out almost the same way the vowels do. 
As sweet as she’s being, you can’t ignore the alarms blaring in your head hearing that your best friend would describe going out (at least) two nights a week as “never” going out, but you chuckle along anyway, locking your hand with hers. 
With a smile on his face, Lee Jeno brings Chaewon back to the booth in one piece, ruffling her hair a little before raising a hand to salute you and Yunjin, and disappearing back into the crowd. 
“The period at the end of that last text almost convinced us,” she says as she takes her seat beside you. “But I new your little crush on Jay wouldn’t let you miss a chance to see him.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 
Chaewon rolls her eyes, backing a shot before leaning over you to get closer to Yunjin. “She’s pretending again.” 
With a scoff, Yunjin unlocks her phone and pulls up her camera roll to an album titled with an unfortunately cute ship name. “I can’t stop thinki–” You cut her off, snatching the phone from her hands and placing it under your thigh. 
“Okay, okay,” you relent, letting your head fall back as you groan. “I may have had a.. thing for him last semester but I’m over it now.” 
“Do you think he’ll swipe up if I post a song he likes?” Chaewon reads between laughs. 
Flustered, you sink into your seat after hearing the text that you sent two nights ago, hoping with all your might that the booth will open up to swallow you whole. 
To your utter devastation, it does not. 
The universe chooses to soothe you in a different way by sending an angel Kazuha to drag you all out onto the dance floor. With intertwined hands, the four of you “excuse me” and “sorry” your way over to where Sakura and her friend Mark are dancing a little closer than usual with one another. 
His hands are on her hips as he holds her back to his front, the two of them grinding to the music, but she’s quick to smack his hands off of her and break away from him when she sees you guys approaching. Using a hand to push hair out of her face, Sakura laughs at nothing, smacking Mark’s chest playfully while he glues his eyes to the floor. 
“We missed you at pres,” you say, wrapping her in a hug. 
“Right, sorry, Mark had a thing at his place!” 
Despite understanding why she does, you ignore Chaewon when she nudges you at the mention of Mark and his place before hugging him too, agreeing when he says that you guys should come next time. 
The six of you form a circle after greeting one another, jumping around while yelling obnoxiously to the music blaring into your ears. Over Mark’s shoulder, you see Jay nodding at a friend before leaving the clu—“I’m actually gonna go get some air,” you blurt out. “Alone!” you add before Yunjin can offer to come with. 
Despite the way the breeze nips at your legs, the fresh air is a welcome slap in the face when it hits you; the previously ear-splitting music reduced to a pathetic mumble now that you’re outside. A few girls that you recognise from some of your classes stand opposite the, now short, entry queue, waving you towards them and blowing cigarette smoke over their shoulders. You shake your head when they offer you a draw, though (against your better judgement) you do accept a few hits of a polar menthol flavoured juul while chatting distractedly about your “new spot” on the hockey team and trying to find Jay — which doesn’t take you very long.
Not too far from where you’re standing, he leans against the building’s grey brick while looking at his phone. Its OLED display casts a slight glow over his features, showing off the crease of his brow, the slope of his nose, and the tiny little pout set on his lips as he types. 
You can’t help but stare as Jimin and Minjeong plan the rest of their night, which includes afters at Yizhuo’s if she doesn’t pass out, and extend an invitation to you and your friends — “I mean, we’re still gonna go. She’ll probably need us more if she does,” Minjeong says, stubbing out a cigarette under her shoe before both girls head inside. 
Waving goodbye, you let yourself find Jay again and take a deep breath. For a moment, you attempt to strategise in the way you and the girls always do together. A few possibilities play out in your head and right when you think you’ve found a good opener—“Hello!” You find yourself saying as you stumble walk over to him.
As you’ve come to expect, his mouth curves into a smile when he looks up at you. “Hello,” he says, laughing through the word. In the short time it takes you to reach him, and lean about an arm’s length away on the same wall, he slips his phone into his jacket pocket. “Since when are you a hockey girl?” 
With a smile of your own, you roll up your left sleeve to refer to a watch that you’re not wearing. “It’s been a few hours.”
Jay’s teeth press down on his bottom lip as he chuckles, before mumbling an apology and pulling his phone back out. You don’t mean to peek at his screen when he opens the messages app, but you do anyway. And can’t help but feel bad at the sight of your name at the top of the second message thread — the memory of Yunjin taking your phone so you couldn’t text back forcing your stomach to turn a little. 
Lifting your gaze back up to him, you sort of hate how pretty he looks as he ruffles his hair before putting his phone back in his pock—You turn your head immediately, finding sudden interest in the lamp post that irregularly flickers a pale yellow over his shoulder. For a split second, it seems like you managed to stare at him without being caught, but if the little laugh he lets out is anything to go by, your neck jerk wasn’t as subtle as you’d hoped. 
“You’re cute,” he grins, stepping a little closer. “It suits you.”
It’s a struggle to backtrack and remember what the two of you were even talking about as the faint scent of his cologne hits your nostrils. “F-field hockey?” you offer. 
“The jacket,” he clarifies, a sweet laugh slipping past his lips as he speaks. 
“Ohh, you too.”
He cocks his head to the side. “You think this suits me?” 
His hand comes to one side of his denim jacket, holding it out slightly and allowing you to catch a proper whiff of his cologne and a glimpse of his bare shoulder. You worry a little about what might come out of your mouth if you open it, deciding for everyone’s sake just to nod and pray that he’ll leave the damn jacket alone. 
“It’d probably look better on you.” 
An audible smile tugs at your lips. “No way.” You shake your head, trying and failing to keep your giggles to yourself.
“You wanna prove me wrong?”
With a tilt of your head, you turn the offer around in your mind; a pros and cons list starting to take shape. 
Pros: getting to wear Jay’s jacket, having an almost permanent reason to keep chatting with him throughout the night, and getting to see Jay in a vest — arguably the biggest pro of them all, given the amount of IG stories he’s posted in the gym recently.
Con: losing free drinks privileges; which doesn’t really seem like a huge deal because Chaewon can just wear the hockey jacket and get drinks for you like she’s been doing for half of the night so far. 
Under the weight of Jay���s stare, you shift on your feet, realising that he’s clearing his throat for the second time since he stopped speaking and you still haven't said anything. “But then I’d have to pay for my drinks,” you say in an attempt not to seem too eager. The words slur a bit on their way out, though you’re too caught up in the way Jay’s lips tug into a grin to fuss over it. 
“Not if you stick wi—” He stops short, cut off by a voice from a few metres away. “Jongsaaaaaaeeeeeeng!” it yells. And if not for his silver head of hair, you’d never have believed it was Park Sunghoon screaming like that. 
“Poor guy kept icing himself,” Lee Heeseung calmly explains, walking ahead of Sunghoon and, what looks like, Sim Jake who’ve been giggling with one another since the cry left the younger’s mouth. 
Despite not knowing Sunghoon very well, from what you’ve heard about him, it’s easy to imagine him hiding bottles of Smirnoff Ice to ice one of his friends, only to lose track of where he’d put them and find them himself later on, thinking one of his friends was icing him. The thought makes you stifle your laughter; you like the fact that Jay laughs too. 
Before dapping Jay up, Heeseung offers him the confiscated Smirnoff Ice that Sunghoon had made quite a dent in, only shrugging when he declines. Jay watches as his friend wraps an arm around your shoulder in a polite side hug while asking if you want to finish the “smice”. You let a beat pass before telling him that you’ll think about it. 
For a while, you listen as he fills Jay in on what he missed at pres, smiling at Jake and Sunghoon as they get closer, and wondering when it would be appropriate if at all, to introduce yourself to the three boys that you’ve only ever walked by at parties or on campus. You find a window when the two arrive, waving a little when you tell them your name. 
Jake’s lips curve into what looks like a smirk as he looks over at you. “We know,” he says, eyes darting quickly over to Jay before looking back at you.
Sunghoon says nothing. 
The boys are quick to get back to their conversation, and Heeseung glances in Jay’s direction, nodding his head before making a show of unscrewing the cap on the smice and skying it. After an impressive chug, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, holding up the empty bottle like a trophy before putting it in the bin. 
With a slight frown, you realise that you didn’t even get to tell him that you didn’t want it. 
There’s a grin on his face as he wraps his arms around Jake and Sunghoon’s shoulders. “See you guys in there!” he says before guiding the two boys away and into the club.
With the two of you on your own again, you become hyperaware of your proximity, of the fact that if you moved your hand even a centimetre it would brush his. The heat from his body is dizzying, and with his body leaning down towards you, Jay is already watching you when you look up at him. His lips rest in a small smile that only widens at the sight of your face, seeming unbothered that you’d caught him staring. That it wouldn’t take much to bridge the gap between your faces. Between your lips.  
“The offer still stands,” he says. “To wear my jacket and drink for free.” 
A somewhat familiar 808 beat rattles through tinny speakers in the student union.Jay’s jacket fits pretty big over your shoulders as you try not to say anything ridiculous while he holds your hand, leading you through the crowd. Now that your hands are actually clasped, the butterflies you’d felt over having linked fingers for a pinky promise seem silly, completely eclipsed by the feeling of your heart clattering against your ribs. After every few steps, he looks over his shoulder at you, your cheeks burning hotter and hotter with each smile he throws your way.
Upon your return to the booth, you drop the team jacket in Chaewon’s lap, praying that your friends won’t say anything about Jay or the fact that you’re wearing his jacket — or the fact that despite having reached your friends safely the two of you are still holding hands. By the looks of things it seems as though telling her to move up isn’t enough of a signal to her that you’d like to sit down; though maybe she’s just too busy trying to shrug the jacket back on to move up. You tell yourself that she’s just too busy trying to shrug the jacket back on to move up. 
Chaewon wears a wicked grin on her face, making no effort to be discreet about staring at your intertwined fingers. “YN? Why aren’t you dancing? You love this song!” she says, opening her mouth to wink obnoxiously at you and nudging Yunjin.
“I don’t know this song,” you say, liking the way Jay laughs beside you, squeezing your hand a little. 
For reasons unbeknownst to you, Yunjin sees this as the best opportunity to chime in, tilting her head before saying, “Whaaaaaaat? This is your favourite song! Trust me, Jay, she loves this song!” 
“And she’s such a good dancer,” Chaewon adds. “Have you seen her dance, Jay?” 
You stand around dumbly, mouthing the word “stop,” at your friends and leaning up towards Jay when he leans down to you. “How about a drink?” he asks with a voice as smooth as velvet, soft lips grazing the shell of your ear. 
“Please.” 
After telling the girls that you’ll be back, and flipping them off with your free hand, you let Jay lead you back through the dance floor to the bar, letting an elbow rest on its surface. When you look at him, he’s watching you, his lips quirked up ever so slightly while he does so. 
Letting your nails drum against the bar, you smile back. “Sorry about my friends,” you say, unsure as to why you’re apologising but feeling like it’s the right thing to say. 
“Sorry about your friends?” Jay asks. He grins. “Sorry about mine.”
You want to tell him that you liked his friends, that they seemed nice. Even though Sunghoon didn’t speak, and Heeseung finished the drink he offered you before you even had a chance to let him know that you wanted it. But he’s already distracted. 
His eyes scan the bottles that line the shelves behind the bar, and you busy yourself doing the same thing, the sight of almost every rum brand bringing up memories of past nights out with your friends. Two palm trees on a white bottle of “MarkLeebu” leave you suppressing your laughter as you think about Sakura’s friend falling asleep - standing up - against the wall of a club after drinking two bottles of Malibu to himself on a dare. 
Jay’s breath fans your ear when he speaks, “What are you having?” 
“A jäger bomb.” 
With a nod, he orders your drink and a whiskey for himself, and as per his suggestion, the two of you toast “to third year” before drinking. 
Jay makes good on his promise. One shot becomes two becomes three, and a cocktail in a comically large pitcher before you wake up the next morning to Sakura hogging the duvet, and no memory of anything beyond sitting down at the bar. 
While lying on your back you curse two versions of yourself: the first for leaving the window open before you left, and the second for having so much to drink. Staring up at the ceiling, you attempt to go over your interactions with Jay using a fine-tooth comb to figure out just how badly you humiliated yourself last night. Given the fact that you don’t remember what happened after 1 a.m. (or so), this doesn’t take too long, and the corners of your lips quirk up into a smile as you think about the way his hand felt in yours. 
Your memory tells you that he smiled a lot, but this seems like an insignificant detail because Jay always smiles a lot. There was a pitcher. A big one. Inside it was a vibrant, sweet, too cheap to be true cocktail that you sipped, blinked, and opened your eyes to find yourself in bed. The unaccounted-for period fills you with a visceral sense of dread, leaving you unsure if you shiver because of the temperature in your room or out of sheer embarrassment. 
The notifications you find on your phone only make you feel more nervous, so you cover your eyes with your hand before checking them. You were mentioned in Chaewon’s Instagram story (which means you behaved catastrophically), and you have a text from Jay (which .. well you’re not quite sure what to make of this). Through the gap in your fingers, you start by looking at the story, uncontrollable butterflies in your stomach from what you see. A picture (on close friends) of you sitting in Jay’s lap with his arms wrapped around your wairs, and his chin resting on your shoulder; the two of you donning wide grins with THESE TWOOOOOOO 😍😍😍 written over it. 
Jay’s text is simple yet sweet: hope u got home okay, was realy nice getting to chill w u again &lt;3. You don’t even realise that you’re giggling until Sakura stirs next to you. 
you: i did thank uuuuuuu
you: sorry if i was weird though haha 
You say. Although all things considered, you can’t really think of anything to be haha-ing about but Jay’s reply comes so quickly that you barely have the time to dwell on this fact. “Nahhhh you were so cute dw,” he texts back. 
With your stomach doing somersaults, you turn over in the bed, burying your head in the pillow to muffle a squeal.
Sakura wakes up. 
While in the shower, you let the water hit you directly in the face for a bit with your eyes screwed tightly shut under the stream. And not a single thought occurs to you other than how cute Jay seems to think you are. 
jay: do you have class today
you: slept in
jay: L
jay: for me.. i wanted to see you again  
Your jaw falls open as you read the message, and over your shoulder, Yunjin lets out the gasp that you hadn’t been able to. “Oh, my God!” she says, watching as a cheek-aching smile creeps up on your lips. A small celebration ensues while the two of you squeal and kick your feet like children. And then your phone vibrates again.
jay: could still link if ur down?
jay: hold up 
Yunjin pulls air through her teeth. “Could still link if you’re down,” she reads before taking the phone from your hand. “Fuckboy text, ignore.” 
Knowing you’re not likely to win the argument that Jay’s not a fuckboy — even though he’s not one, you think — you roll your eyes. “So what if he’s a fuckboy?” you frown, pulling your knees to your chest. 
“If a fuckboy was supposed to be liked he’d be called a like boy,” Yunjin says as if reciting scripture. “Text Jaemin back if you want a fuckboy.” 
You don’t mean to groan out loud at her tone. “Jaemin’s not a fuckboy, he’s just.. a guy. Who.. likes to fuck.” 
The sound of the front door opening prompts you to pause the TV, and the two of you crane your necks towards the open doorway to hear what’s going on. It’s Chaewon giggling loudly before speaking. 
“Thanks for bringing me home.” 
A deep chuckle sounds through the hall. Jeno. Of course. “You’re my girl,” he says and his smile is audible through his words. “Why wouldn’t I?” 
Chaewon giggles at this too, and, pressing play on the remote, you share a look with Yunjin as you hear the beginning of a wet kiss. Brooklyn Nine-Nine gets through an entire cold open and the theme song before she – looking fresher than ever in her boyfriend’s sweatpants – joins you both on the couch. 
“What’d I miss?” she asks. 
“Yunjin thinks Jay’s a fuckboy.” 
Chaewon lets out a snort. “Well, yeah, anyone could’ve told you that, dude’s best friend is Lee Heeseung,” she says, though quickly changes her tune as if remembering her audience. “It’s all just rumours though, people see a good-looking guy who’s overly friendly and flirts with everybody, and posts obvious thirst traps to his Snapchat story, and just assume he’s a fuck boy..” she trails off, sinking a little in her seat.
Somewhat disheartened, you nod your head. “Right.” 
“So what did I miss?” Chaewon asks again, pointing at the TV this time. 
Still in Yunjin’s custody, your phone vibrates in her lap and she gasps as she reads the screen. “A reformed fuck boy?” she says, holding the phone up for you and Chaewon to read. 
jay: would you like to hang out with me later? 
You grin despite yourself, reading the message and reading it again before telling him “yes”, and later can’t come soon enough. The time slips by like molasses and you finally meet up with Jay -four decades- two hours later, with no set plan, at the library where he approaches you with Jake and a smile on his face. 
Friendly as ever, Jake chats with you and keeps a pretty smile on his lips the whole time. “If you ever have a hard time with physics or math based classes, I’ve got you,” he offers, clearly happy to hear that you’re in STEM too. 
“I’ll keep that in mind,” you tell him, grateful as you remember the tears you’d shed over a Construction Mathematics lecture last year. 
With a wave, Jake leaves the two of you alone, saying “See you later” before walking away. He excitedly glances over his shoulder to where you stand with Jay a few times. 
After telling you that he “knows a spot,” Jay takes you on a bit of a walk, successfully distracting you from the distance by keeping you talking. He listens enthusiastically while you ramble about a show you started, and you like the feeling in your chest when he says he’ll check it out. 
With a “ta-da,” Jay extends an arm to the gate in front of you. A play park. “We’re here!” he says, struggling to mask the excitement in his voice as he walks towards the empty play area. “It’s no fun when there’s kids here so I brought us the long way.” 
As you follow him through the gate, you can’t help but feel a bit nervous. The last time you’d been sober at a play park you were probably 15 or so, cutting through the park on your walk home from school with your friends. You’d spin the roundabout at lightspeed cackling at the screams of terror coming from those sitting on it, and talk about your crushes while calming down on the swings. 
Jay sits on one of the swings and watches you, and even though you’re not too sure what to talk about, you’re pretty sure confessing your crush on him as you sit next to him might send him running in the opposite direction. Instead, you clear your throat and look over at him. “So your “spot” is a play park?” you ask, using your feet to rock you back and forth. 
He pulls air through his teeth, scrunching his nose and tilting his head. “Would you prefer it if I took you to CP in the Sky?” 
If Jay had his car with him, you might have hoped for that. Most of the boys in your city who drive, including Jaemin, have been known to take girls to a spot they know. Super quiet, private, and almost as pretty as you, they’ll say, and take you up to ‘Car Park in the Sky’; the city’s most notorious hook-up spot. Though, Jaemin hadn’t exactly been secretive about wanting to hook up and actually only drove there after you’d told him about it. 
You shake your head. “The park is good, it’s great.” 
Conversation ebbs and flows between the two of you, the sounds of nature and the swings creaking keeping you company. It’s nice spending time with Jay like this. Sober. And not holed up in the library or a cafe with assignments and deadlines on your mind. 
You don’t mean to gain momentum but you do, swinging about as high as you can, gasping when you see a car over the top of a climbing frame. 
“What is it?” he asks, laughing to himself when you jump off the swing. 
“I wanna take a drive!” you call out over your shoulder, jogging over to the wooden stationary car you saw.
Jay’s footsteps sound after yours, and he grabs you by the wrist before you climb into the driver’s side. “Did you get your licence yet?” 
You shake your head, watching as his mouth falls open, bracing yourself for a lecture on how a girl of your age should be driving already. 
He looks aghast, in genuine distress before he speaks. “What makes you think I’m gonna let you drive?” Jay nods his head to the other side of the car. “Go.” 
Letting out the most exaggerated sigh you can manage, you comply, dragging your feet to the passenger side and climbing in. Jay follows suit, sitting down next to you on the small connected seat built with kids in mind, and his thigh presses up against yours. 
“Don’t be upset, everyone knows passenger princess is way more fun than actually driving.” 
And rationally, you know he’s not specifically calling you a princess but your tummy turns nonetheless. 
“Whatever,” you mumble, faking a sigh and struggling to suppress your laughter when he buckles a fake seat belt. Jay gives you a disapproving look when you don’t move to do the same. “Are you serious?” 
“As a heart attack,” he says solemnly, though you can see the smile teasing at his lips. “Better safe than sorry, that’s what I always say.” 
There’s nothing behind his words, no hidden meaning but you read into them anyway, hoping he can’t hear the way you gulp at the thought that plagues you. For some reason, you’ve chosen this hill to die on, shrugging at him and turning to look straight ahead. 
Jay sighs dramatically, pinching the bridge of his nose before leaning over you to grab your ‘seat belt’ and buckle in by himself. He takes his time though, and the way he looks you dead in the eye makes you wish you’d just done it yourself. His face is close to yours, his breath warm against your skin, creating a welcome contrast to the cold air around you. He lingers for a beat before sitting up straight and clicking the belt into place. 
“Finally,” he whispers, putting an imaginary gear stick into reverse and draping his arm over the back of your connected seat. You can’t help but watch as he looks over your shoulders before moving the car, liking the way his side profile looks under the rapidly setting sun. Something stops him, he looks at you. “I can’t focus with you staring at me like that,” he says, taking his hand from the wheel to touch your cheek.
Your breath catches in your throat. Jay grins, gently turning your face away from him. You stare over at the roundabout and feel just as dizzy as you would have if you’d taken him up on his offer to spin you on it. 
Jay gets on with all the necessary checks before ‘starting’ the car and ‘driving’ off. “What are you thinking about?” 
It probably wouldn’t be appropriate to tell him that you’re thinking about the way it felt when he put his fingers to your cheek. Or how gentle he was with you, only pushing you a little bit and then guiding you the rest of the way. So you keep that to yourself. “The movies.” 
You hear Jay chuckling next to you. “All of them?” 
“Yeah,” you nod. “The drive-in kind. Have you been?” 
“I went once.” 
You gasp, excited. “Really? What did you see?” 
Jay thinks about it for a while. He thinks about it really hard before shaking his head, “You know, I don’t think I was paying much attention.” 
“You spent all that money on a ticket and didn’t even pay attention? What were you doing?” The words rush out before you can stop them and you cringe a little thinking about the possible answers. 
He turns his gaze back out on the road. “Sleeping,” he mumbles, swallowing thickly. 
You wish you could go back in time to stop yourself from asking, finding an answer to the question: “Is it better to speak or to die?” 
“Hey, we can go to the drive-in right now! I just need to put this thing in park and we can watch any movie you want!” he says, stopping the car and turning as much as he can in his seat to face you. “Any movie that’s available with a Netflix subscription!” he adds, smiling when you do. 
Cramped together in the front seat of the stationary car, the two of you watch The Devil Wears Prada and get about halfway through before Jay’s phone hits 10% — and it’s probably the best movie watching experience you’ve ever had.  
You take Jay up on his offer to walk you home, and he chats with you about the movie, telling you how much he thinks it totally blows that Miranda Priestly isn’t a real person that he can work for after graduation, but he seems happy enough when you suggest that he could become Miranda Priestly.  
Reaching the familiar crossing by the student union, you look up at him. “If it’s easier, you can just head your way from here. I can literally see my building,” you offer, feeling bad about him walking so far out of his way. 
Jay scoffs like it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. “I’m not gonna make you walk by yourself.” 
“It’s barely five minutes,” you tell him, shaking your head. “You don’t have to.” 
“YN?” 
“Hm?”
A pretty smile spreads across his lips. “I want to, let’s go.” And Jay hardly gets to start telling you about his upcoming mock trial before you reach your flat. 
“This is me,” you say, pointing at the door to your building. 
He lets out a dry chuckle. “You’re kidding.”
You shake your head. He frowns, looking terribly cute with his lips turned down like that. Though it doesn’t last for long and he raises his brows when you gasp. “You know, we came from a place I’ve never been before, and I’m starting to think this might be the wrong street,” you say, struck by the sudden realisation. “We should probably walk around the block a couple more times, just to really be sure.” 
Listening to your words, Jay beams at you and it’s heavenly. “I heard it can actually take, like, 4 or 5 walks around the block if you want 100% certainty.” 
“Oh yeah,” you giggle. “I think I’ve heard that too. Should we make it 6?” 
“Perfect.” 
To your surprise, you’d both been wrong. As it would turn out, the required number of, very slow, walks around a student housing complex to be 100% sure, completely beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re at the right place is ten.
“Hey, uh, how about we do one more lap? Just to make sure? For the absolute best measure,” Jay suggests, eyes twinkling under the streetlamp. He almost looks a little nervous, burying his hands in his pockets as he watches you. 
“Sounds good.”
Just like your last few walks around the student housing block, fallen leaves rustle under your footsteps, and the back of Jay’s hand still brushes against yours, but this time feels different. Maybe because there’s a finality to this; the last lap. You couldn’t possibly ask him to spend any more time walking around here. Could you? 
“This neighbourhood is so cute, all the student apartments clustered together like this, I love it,” he says, looking over at you.
“It’s nice knowing that some of my friends, and the people I like partying with, live so close, but it’s always so noisy around here,” you tell him, continuing when he doesn’t speak. “‘Cause it’s all just a bunch of 18–20–somethings that live here, and The U’s just down the street. The noise is fun when I’m part of it, but when I’m studying or just trying to sleep it’s annoying.” 
“Don’t you think it’s kinda cool though? There’s always something happening. So even if the girls aren’t down to go out, you’re not exactly short on plans.”
You’d never really thought of it like that. Probably because Yunjin is always down to go out. But you like the way he puts it. You nod, reminded of your classmates who live in the building right next to where you’re walking. “Yeah, I should probably text Minjeong more.” 
“And if not you can always hit me and see what I’m doing,” he says at the same time. 
You stop walking, and your heart — feels like it — stops beating. 
Jay, noticing this, stands in front of you, hands help up defensively as he shakes his head. “You don’t have to do that, obviously. I just thought it’d be cool if you weren’t doing anything and I wasn’t doing anything, maybe we could link and do nothing together,” he explains. “I’m stupid, sorry.”
This might be the first time you’ve ever heard Jay ramble like this, and your heart does a twirl just seeing his worried expression. “I think if I’m not doing anything, and you’re not doing anything, then it’d be cool for us to link and do nothing together, Jay,” you smile, liking the way he visibly relaxes, his shoulders falling slightly and an exhale curling out of his mouth and into the air.
“Cool.” 
When, for the 11th time, you reach your building, you turn to Jay and hesitate a little, unsure of what to say. Glancing at him, it looks as though he’s feeling the same way. A silence falls over the two of you. 
Finally, Jay speaks. “Goodnight,” he says, pulling you into a hug. 
Despite your surprise, you wrap your arms around his waist, holding him close. You hope he can’t feel the way your heart is racing. Or the way it starts to pick up when you catch a whiff of his scent. Warm and cosy, tempting in a strange way that you can’t quite put your finger on but you like all the same. 
When Jay lets go of you, you look up at him almost instinctively. You don’t mean to stare at his lips but you do, gulping at how close they are. You want to kiss him. Not any more than usual, but the urge is there. “Goodnight,” you say, taking a step back and walking up the path to the door.
Using your key fob, you unlock the door, turning to look over your shoulder and thankfully finding Jay still standing there, watching you with a stomach-turning smile on his face. “I had a really nice time tonight,” you say, smiling back. 
“Yeah?”
You nod. “We should hang out more.”
“I think so too.” 
“Cool,” you smile, biting your lip. “Goodnight, Jay.” 
“Goodnight, YN.” 
“Could you, text me? When you get home, so I know you’re, like, safe.” 
Jay beams at you, nodding his head. “Of course.” 
After a week (eleven days) of texting and hanging out with Jay when you can, you find yourself spending 3 hours of your Friday afternoon taking notes in your Sustainable Development lecture, and coming to the realisation that none of the course content is relevant to the report you’re trying to get through. 
Seeing Jay leaning on the wall outside your class when you leave is a welcome surprise; he wears a thin pair of glasses and a smile that makes your heart stutter a bit as he stands up straighter, greeting you when he sees you and quickly falling into your step. “I meant to ask you earlier, are you going to the game on Saturday?” A beat passes. “Football,” he clarifies. “First home game of the season.” 
“Maybe if my friends are going.” 
Jay seems to think about this for a moment as you round the corner at the end of the corridor and he holds the door to the stairwell open. “After you.” 
You mumble a thank you and count six steps before he speaks again. 
“I’m going,” Jay informs you, his hand meeting the back of his neck to scratch awkwardly at it. “I mean, I’m gonna be on the pitch but.. I’ll be there.” 
A breathy laugh slips from your lips at this added information; how sweet of the football team’s captain to let you know that he’ll be at his team’s football game on Saturday. “I’ll keep that in mind.” 
“I just think it’d be cool to see a friendly face in the crowd when I score the winning goal.” 
Given Jay’s unending kindness, you imagine that most of the faces in the crowd — or at least the ones from your uni — will be friendly, especially if he scores the winning goal. The thought causes a smile to itch at your lips as you consider that maybe he means that it’d be cool to see your friendly face in the crowd. And who could say no to that? 
The rest of the conversation goes smoothly and Jay slows down when you reach the second floor. “I have some admin shit to work out, but I’ll see you at the game?” he asks, watching you with hopeful eyes and chewing on his bottom lip.
Knowing full well that you’ll be there, you pretend to think about it for a moment. “Maybe.”
Jay chuckles at this, tilting his head. “Please?” 
“Maybe,” you repeat, despite already planning your outfit. Did you wash your white shirt or will you be doing laundry tonight? You wave at Jay when he waves and make your way down the rest of the stairs while clicking mindlessly through Instagram stories. 
Nothing interests you until you reach IG user onyourm__ark's story; a picture of IG user 39saku_chan in his football jersey. You hit the like button and pretend to believe that the song choice (Infrunami by Steve Lacy) was made purely out of sheer enjoyment of the artist’s early work.
With a smile on your face, you text the group chat to solidify your weekend plans.
you: are u going to the football game tmrw
cw: not even if u paid me
yj: hard no
yj: i’m going to the party AFTER the game though
yj: why?
you: it’s nothing dw
cw: ???
you: jay invited me..
The chill of October’s first evening is unkind on your face as you sit amongst the rowdiness of drunk uni kids, cheering and groaning in unison as the game trudges on, and somehow Kazuha manages to sleep through it all with her head on your shoulder. 
“Fuuuuck,” Yunjin groans, shivering in the seat next to you. “I hate sports.” 
“Says the captain of the hockey team,” you say, voice coming out muffled behind the top of your jacket.
“Playing and watching are, like, completely different.” 
You’re sure Yunjin’s right, she has to be, but you have to admit that there’s something more than slightly entertaining about watching a group of boys chasing a ball around and yelling expletives at one another, all while number 99 keeps a huge grin on his face, laughing at his teammate’s temper. Or lack thereof. 
However, the novelty wears off at around 8:45 when the ref calls for half-time; a chill runs down your spine as you’re struck with the realisation that university football games are full-length. But other than Yunjin’s teasing, there’s no use pretending that you hate the sight of Jay lifting the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face.
As the players retreat from the pitch and some students start to clear the stands, Yunjin gets up to stretch. She hums along to the song playing while you watch from your seat with aching knees, slightly envious and trying not to move too much and wake up Kazuha who sleeps soundly on your shoulder. 
With her arms above her head, Yunjin lets out a yawn. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’d really rather be doing a reading for marketing than be here any longer.”
“And I’d rather be helping you out,” you say, frowning a little when Kazuha stirs. “Hey, what do you think they do during half-time?” you ask distractedly. 
She thinks about it for a beat, eyes flicking to the pitch before looking back to you. “We usually strategise, use the bathroom, get water — quick things like that,” she says, raking a hand through her hair, watching as you shift a little in your seat to get your phone from your pocket when it vibrates. “They have a lot longer than we do though.” 
jay: are you having fun?
you: yeah you guys are great, good game so far :)
Yunjin scrunches up her nose as she reads the exchange. “God, you’re so boring,” she sighs, taking the phone from your hands, and typing something before showing the screen to you. 
“We should link at the party later,” you read, scoffing as you take it back and delete the message. “I’d never say that.” In those words. 
jay: hahaha i think you might be my good luck charm 
A dramatic gasp comes from a now-awake Kazuha. “Don’t reply!” 
You heed this advice, joining her as she stands up to stretch as well. 
“Look how much fun they’re having,” Kazuha sighs, pointing over at Sakura and Chaewon in their seats close to the pitch. They dance along to the music blaring through the speakers and laugh so loudly you can hear them despite their distance. “Why didn’t we join them?” 
You think about it for a bit, filled with regret. “At the time, pregaming before the game and then pregaming again before the party seemed intense but..” you trail off, watching your friends clutch their stomachs in laughter. “Next time.” 
“Next time,” Kazuha repeats, slouching in her seat. “I’m clearing your drink supply when we get back.” There’s a frown on her face when she speaks but she’s quick to perk up at the sound of your text tone, grabbing the phone for herself. 
jay: are you coming tn? got a feeling that congrats will be in order
you (technically kazuha): wouldn’t miss it !!! 
“Three exclamation points? I’m not that desperate,” you say defensively, nudging her in the ribs. 
As if on cue, Yunjin reads another text. “I saw his notes again, his handwriting is so cute and ugly, agh I’m literally clutching my chest, he’s perfect,” she says, her voice high-pitched and mocking. 
Hearing your typed words out loud from someone else’s mouth is troubling, especially because “It never seems that bad when I’m typing,” you frown, immediately checking your phone when it goes off. 
jay: awesome :) see u there 
jay: !!!
The game’s second half goes by much quicker and in the end, they lose 5-3, leaving you and Yunjin struggling to keep your laughter to yourselves at the sight of the FIRST W OF THE SEASON banner hanging up in the living room of the house that most of the footballers share. With linked arms, the two of you make your way to the kitchen to get something to drink. Already feeling the buzz from pregaming, you settle on a cup of lemonade which Yunjin rolls her eyes at. 
“Shut up,” you say, eyeing her over the rim of your cup. 
Yunjin holds her hands up defensively, spilling a few drops of her tequila-vodka concoction. “I didn’t even say anything.” For a couple of minutes, you pretend to listen as Yunjin tries to come up with a game plan for the night, nodding and humming along when she pauses, and trying to decipher the animal code names she’s using. A gasp. “I see him! Black cat and penguin sitting out on the half wall.” 
You watch as she leans over the sink to get a closer look out of the window. “I feel like saying exactly where they are makes the code names redundant.” 
“I feel like you’re redundant.” A beat passes. “Just be yourself, and if he says something funny, laugh and put your hand on his bicep while you do.” 
“Noted.”
Yunjin doesn’t let you go outside without taking a sip (or three) of the poison in her cup, and after you gag over the sink, the two of you make your way into the garden, sights set on the half wall where “black cat” now sits alone. A potent mixture of the scent of tobacco and weed hits you the second you open the back door, and the two of you leave the house to make a beeline to Jay, apparently to Yunjin’s displeasure, given the way she asks you three times to play beer pong with her when some of the basketball boys start setting up cups for the next round.
“No,” you say. Three times. 
As if sensing your presence, Jay whips his head around right before the two of you reach him, a bright smile gracing his face as he waves at you with his whole arm. He seems to glow against the darkness of the night, bright, dreamy, an unreal quality that leaves you feeling fuzzy around the edges. Jay, you think, over and over and it starts to sound made up. Jay. Jay. Jay. Until you reach him. He stands up when you guys are close enough. “You’re here,” Jay says with a smile, pulling you into a hug. With his arms around your waist, his hold is somehow both tight and gentle. Secure. Safe. 
“Hey,” you say, voice muffled by the fabric of his hoodie. A whiff of his scent hits you, flooding your senses. Fresh, citrusy, and undeniably Jay. A dizzying combination, so light, and distinctly him in a way that makes your heart beat a bit faster. 
When Jay lets go of you to hug Yunjin, you take the last sip of your drink and almost wish you’d taken her cup instead; your lemonade is sweet to the tongue but does absolutely nothing to boost your confidence. You watch as they greet each other while Jay sits back down. Standing in front of him with your arm against Yunjin’s, you feel as though you've missed the window to sit down too and opt to continue standing next to her. 
“We like your banner,” you say, pointing in the direction of the house behind him. 
Following your finger, Jay lets his head whip around towards the back of the house. Yunjin uses the time he spends looking over his shoulder to nudge you, nod her head in his direction, and mouth the word “sit” at you. So you do.
If he’s surprised to turn back around barely a second later and find you right beside him, Jay doesn’t show it. He gives you a warm smile and knocks his knee against yours before speaking. “What, first w of the season?” He tilts his head. “And here I thought you were a good luck charm, twenty,” he says with a chuckle when you nod. 
Yunjin’s brows raise, and you feel yours rise too. “Twenty?” she asks. 
“The hockey jacket,” he answers without missing a beat. “Speaking of, when’s your next game?” 
“Oh, we’re playing the Foxes next week,” Yunjin rakes a hand through her hair. “TDU, you know?” 
Jay nods, turning his attention back to you. “Can I look forward to seeing you on the field, twenty?” 
Tilting your head, you pull air through your teeth. “You know what, I actually just got benched, like, right now,” you say, liking the way Jay laughs. “I’m out for the rest of the season.” 
After clapping a hand to his mouth, Jay points at you. “Did they get you on a drunk and disorderly after the mixer?” he asks through a laugh. 
In horror, you watch while Yunjin’s head falls back with laughter as she lets out cackles that only unsettle you. “That’s exactly what happened!”
“I was not.. disorderly,” you say meekly, finding sudden interest in the hem of your skirt.
It sounds as though Jay says: “You didn’t tell her how she got back home?” though you’re finding it difficult to focus on much other than trying to recover your missed hours after the hockey mixer. 
You’ve gone on countless nights out, spent many mornings after vowing never to drink again, and, on multiple occasions, have gotten too drunk to enter the club. But even then, in the past, your memory has only ever been.. spotty, nonlinear. Never completely void for hours at a time, and it’s concerning. After tonight, you really won’t drink again. 
Except on birthdays. 
And when you go to the club. Or to parties. Or when you’re bored with the girls. But again, apart from that? Never. 
“How did I g—” you start, though Yunjin cuts you off. 
“I think Zuha’s lifting her leg again, hold on,” she groans, looking over Jay’s shoulder at the glass doors leading to the kitchen. Yunjin disappears back into the house and it’s not until you watch her slide the back door shut behind her that you remember Kazuha having too much to drink at pres and having to stay in with Chaewon. 
When you look at Jay, he watches you with knitted brows. “Kazuha’s doing what?” he asks. 
“Ballet,” you explain. He nods. 
Neither of you speak for a moment. While you chew on the inside of your cheek, you can’t help but wonder if you should’ve followed Yunjin, or if you should’ve had less to drink at the mixer. You reckon the fact that Jay’s still talking to you must mean you didn’t do anything that you can’t recover from, but you can’t shake the feeling that your trip home that night was less than pleasant. 
“Hey,” Jay says quietly, catching your attention with concern lacing his features. “What do you look so down for?” he asks. 
Though terrified of the answer, you repeat your earlier question. “How did I get home?” you ask, wondering if the Earth usually opened up to swallow people whole or if you’d have to put in a special request.
Jay licks his lips, using his hand to push your shoulder playfully. “I have no idea,” he chuckles, shaking his head. “I was talking to Yunjin at the library on Tuesday, I think, and she told me you can’t remember anything. I just wanted to freak you out.” 
You feel heat under his touch and relief from his words, though something about him talking with Yunjin seems to jostle you slightly. “Yunjin was at the library?”
Briefly, what looks like disappointment flashes across Jay’s face, replaced quickly with a pretty smile, light, playful. “You care more about Yunjin being at the library than me asking your friend about you?” he asks.
“You were asking my friend about me?” 
“Yeah, I think you’re cute,” Jay says sweetly, smiling at you in a way that makes your cheeks burn even when you look down at your lap. 
There’s something about the way he says it, so casually as if telling you the time or today’s date, that throws you off. It doesn’t make any sense to you that some of the most vivid sensations that Jay makes you feel are just that: sensations. You know that your stomach doesn’t actually have butterflies in it and that your heart isn’t really twirling in your chest, but it sure feels like it. You wonder if he also feels like that sometimes. You earnestly hope that if he does, it’s because of you.
He seems nearer than before when you look at him, and for fear that you might kiss him if he gets any closer, you bring your empty cup to your lips, lean back a little, and pretend to sip. Its emptiness isn’t lost on Jay, however, who chuckles, asking if you want a refill. While walking towards the house, you listen as he tells you what the team normally get up to during half-time (mostly strategising and pretending not to hear Heeseung’s snores), and silently beg your cheeks to cool down. His hand is heavy on the small of your back as he ushers you inside first, sliding the door shut behind him, and gently pushing you towards the kitchen island. 
You let yourself lean against the counter, ignoring the fluttering in your stomach as you watch him reach for a visibly sticky bottle of your favourite drink without asking what you’d like. Though before actually touching it, his eyes widen. “Wait, I have something for you,” he says, holding out a hand for you to take. “Come on.” 
Jay weaves his fingers with yours, leading you through the house and up the stairs into a bedroom. He closes the door gently behind you, stepping over a couple of backpacks before sitting on the end of the bed, and tugging at the zipper on one of them. 
For a moment you watch as veins appear on his hands and have to physically tell yourself to drag your eyes to anything else, eventually settling on the walls. Walls that are covered in countless glossy 4x6 prints, some shots of landscapes, groups of people, out-of-focus beer bottles and.. “You have a lot of photos of Mark Lee in here,” you comment, scanning the room around you. “And it doesn’t look like you’re.. in any of them,” you continue as you notice a grainy polaroid stuck to the wall next to the light switch — a picture of Mark making out with his best friend, Sakura “give me a break, a boy and a girl can be just friends” Miyawaki, and make a mental note to bring it up later. 
Jay glances at you as if you’re the one sleeping in a Markkura shrine. “Yeah, ‘cause it’s his room,” he chuckles. “You can sit down, you know,” he adds after a beat, moving over a bit on the bed. 
With a nod, you look at some more of the pictures as you make your way over to the spot next to him, a photo of Mark and Jake with their middle fingers to the camera catching your eye. And holding it for so long that you trip a little over one of the backpacks before sitting down and pretending nothing happened. Thankfully, Jay doesn’t seem to notice. 
“It’s not much by the way, don’t get your hopes up,” he warns, his hand still hidden by the fabric of his bag. 
“Got it.” 
Despite his earlier disclaimer, he makes a show of the whole thing. “Ta-da!” His voice is a little singsong as he brings the obje—bottle of Smirnoff Ice into view. 
“Thank you?” The bottle is cold in your hands when you take it from him, reading the ABV 4% on its label and wondering how many of these Sunghoon must have had to drink to have been stumbling the way he was that night. You also can’t help but wonder what reason Jay has for buying you a bottle and then taking you into the privacy of Mark’s bedroom to give it to you.
“Yeah,” he trails off a little, letting his hand come up to scratch the back of his neck. “You looked pretty crushed the other night when Heeseung finished that one bottle.” 
You can’t help the scoff that comes out. “Crushed? I mean, I might’ve frowned.” 
“Frowned? You were near tears, I was worried about you.” 
“Shut up.” 
“I’m serious, every time I looked at you, you had this.. upset look on your face.” 
“Well, maybe you should stop looking at me so much.”
Jay’s eyes sparkle under the light, flicking back and forth from your eyes to your lips as he brings a hand up to your face, tucking some hair behind your ear, his fingers hot on your skin, unmoving. His eyes lock with yours. “Come on,” he says in a low voice. “You know there’s no stopping that.” 
A smile tugs at your lips. Jay bites his. His gaze drops back down to your mouth. Lingers. And in what almost seems like an alcohol-induced hallucination, he leans in. Slightly. As if testing the waters. As if waiting for a sign that you want him to stop. A sign that you want him to continue. Anything. His hand is heavy on your cheek when he cups it in his palm, skin rough against yours. 
Mere inches away, Jay’s lips seem more tempting than ever. Separated only by the distance of a breath and your nerves, you try to settle yourself. To put your heart at ease. But how could you relax when he looks at you like that; his gaze soft, tender, all of his attention on y—The bottle slips from your hands, cool against your thighs, reminding you of its existence. Jay flinches when you do. 
“Let’s have a drink!” you suggest, though the absence you feel when he takes his hand from your face makes you wish you hadn’t.
“Sure.”
The cap screws off the bottle with a few satisfying clicks, and Jay, amused, shakes his head when you offer him the first sip. “After you,” he says. 
Without a second thought, the bottle touches your lips and the sweet, sweet taste of Smirnoff Ice touches your tongue, coating your mouth and leaving you wishing the alcohol content was higher. 
“Do you mind if I put my lips on it?” he asks while you pass the drink to him. 
You shake your head, determined not to think of a double meaning, and watch as his lips connect with the bottle’s opening, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat while he drinks. When Jay pulls it from his mouth, he lets his tongue dart out to wet his lips. You wonder if it will taste different in his mouth, if his lips, wet from the drink, taste as sweet as they look. 
Now that you realise you’ve shared an indirect kiss, you kick yourself for passing up the chance at a direct one, deciding that if you want him to kiss you, you’ll need to get closer. Step up your game a little. Maybe you’ll say something about his necklace, ask to get a better look.. And hopefully, he’ll take the hint and kiss you because you’re not really sure what else you could say. 
Of course, you could opt to skip words altogether, taking his face in your hands, and pressing your lips to his. You’re sure that’s what Yunjin would do. And you’re sure that would be her advice to you if you asked her.
Jay hands the bottle back to you and you close it, determined to feel his lips on yours if it’s the last thing you do. And you quickly open the bottle again, one last sip for good luck. The soft laugh he lets out is breathy, and it’s hard to tell if the heat in your stomach is coming from the drink, or from the way you see him looking at you in your peripheral. 
His straight teeth bite at his bottom lip, and he shakes his head when you offer him another sip. This time when you close the bottle, you do it for good, setting the glass on the floor so it doesn’t interrupt you again. 
“I really like your necklace,” you say, off to a good start, following the plan. 
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah.”
“Aw.. thanks,” he says, choosing now, of all times, to stop being a conversationalist. 
In the quiet of the room, you realise that you hadn’t planned anything beyond the compliment. You let your eyes focus back on the charm hanging from his neck, trying to picture him with a fishing rod in his hand, and wellington boots on his feet. It doesn’t really work. “I didn’t realise you were so into fishing,” you blurt out, and the way he knits his brows together makes you wish you’d just grabbed him and planted a kiss on the lips he purses to the side while watching you. 
“Me?” 
“Yeah you, with your cute little hook on a chain.” 
Jay squints at you. “Hook on a chain?” he repeats. 
You let a hand reach up and press on the hook pendant on his necklace. 
His shoulders rise and fall dramatically as he sighs, his hand coming up to wrap around yours, holding it to the base of his neck as the small (not) hook warms in your fist. “Why does everybody think it’s a hook?” 
“It isn’t?” 
“It’s the letter J.” He lets go of your hand to lift the charm. “See?” 
You squint your eyes, leaning a little closer to him, gaze fixed on the little gold hook letter sitting near the base of his neck. “Ohhhh, right,” you say, but even from a few inches away, it still looks like a hook, and from this close, you can hear the way his breath hitches in his throat.
With an inhale, you find yourself lingering. Sticking around just long enough to make out the woodier notes of his cologne before moving back a little. Finally, you draw your eyes away from his neck, wanting to meet his gaze but finding yourself stuck on his lips instead. They sit slightly ajar, pink, pretty, sort of chapped in the way they always seem to be. His breath tickles your forehead. You sit straighter, noticing the way his eyes burn holes into you. 
“Quit staring,” you mumble hypocritically. 
Jay’s brows quirk up for a split second as he sits back on his hands. “I’m not.”
“You are.” 
“Well, you’d have to be staring at me to know.” 
“Do you want me to stop staring?”
He seems to consider this for a second before shaking his head. “No,” he tells you. 
“What do you want then?” Your voice is soft when you ask. 
“I wanna kiss you.” 
Jay’s lips don’t move but you hear the word “really” being spoken out into the room like a question. Your voice doesn’t feel like your own and doesn’t fully register until Jay says: “Yeah,” so softly that it’s practically a whisper. 
Jay wants.. to kiss you. You feel your breath catch in your throat and it seems even more ridiculous to think it than to have heard it from him. To see his lips move to form the words. I wanna kiss you, he’d said. You’d heard it. You’d seen it. It happened. He wants.. to kiss you. 
“Do you want me to do that?” he asks, leaning in slightly, his hand rising to cup your cheek. Slower, gentler than last time. 
You let your gaze meet his; regret flooding you immediately. Just as kind and soft as the rest of him, Jay’s eyes stare into yours, warm, and inviting, but, still, you can’t shake off your nerves. More than anything, you want to say yes; to say of course, can’t you tell? but you don’t trust yourself enough to open your mouth and speak to him. Instead, you nod, so slightly that for a moment you wonder if he even noticed. And then, there, in the dim privacy of Mark Lee’s bedroom, while your heart beats out of your chest, Jay kisses you for the first time. 
His lips are warm against yours, the sweet taste of Smirnoff Ice only amplified as he holds you close. Soft, gentle, kissing Jay is everything you’d imagined it would be. You feel as though you might melt under his touch as his hand grabs your waist to pull you closer. So close that you’re nearly in his lap as he deepens the kiss, his tongue moving along yours.
It doesn’t feel real, it can’t be. 
As if thrown by your thoughts, Jay pulls away. While attempting to form a coherent thought, you catch your breath, once again, regretting looking at him. He looks down the bridge of his nose at you with half-lidded eyes, and his pretty, pink lips sit parted, wet and plump from kissing. Jay leans in almost immediately, the moment cut short by his lips on yours once again. 
It’s tangible this time; you couldn’t possibly make up the way his hand grips your ass or the way he groans softly when you whine into his mouth. He’s real, and he’s kissing you, and you only feel yourself growing dizzier, and dizzier the longer his lips move against yours. A gasp pulls you out of it and the two of you separate.
Looking in the direction of the now open door you see Sakura and Mark hand in hand. You can’t help the slight embarrassment that hits you at first, hating that, of all people, it had to be Mark to walk in and find you making out with someone on his bed. 
Though you get a bit distracted seeing him and Sakura like this, they look cute together. His football hoodie covers her form completely, much longer than the dress she has on, as she leans into him, and a giggle slips from her lips when he lets go of her hand to wrap an arm around her waist instead. 
Somewhat belatedly, and needlessly, Mark apologises, his eyes focused on you when he speaks but you can’t get the words out to respond to him. Jay chuckles at this, shaking his head and telling him not to worry about it as he stands up from the bed. You follow suit. Jay picks up your drink from the floor and takes you by the hand, telling Mark he’ll text him later while leading you out of the room. When you glance at Sakura, she’s grinning at you, mouthing: “Sorry,” before smacking your butt. 
Jay hands you the bottle when the door closes, his hand slipping out of yours. A beat passes. And then another. He chews at his bottom lip. You clear your throat and the silence continues. It’s a shame to be standing around like idiots on the landing like this, you think. 
“I..” he trails off, wiping his hands on his pants. He points over his shoulder with his thumb. “I should get back to the boys.” 
Your heart sinks as you hesitate, unsure how to respond. Slowly, you nod. “Right, yeah,” you say.
“Later,” he mumbles, holding up his hand to wave stiffly at you before turning around to leave. 
Deflated, you lean against Mark’s door while you search for your phone to ask Yunjin where she is. Maybe if you’d waited for a moment, you’d have seen the way Jay stopped at the top of the stairs to look over at you, seen the frown on his face when he saw that you weren’t looking at him. But instead, you read 2 texts from Yunjin. 
yj: dude heso into u 
yj: flirt more = hv fun upstairs 
You spend the next three days pretending nothing happened at the party, avoiding Jay, and dreading going to uni. It’s just unfortunate that for you, pretending nothing happened looks like zoning out in the library while replaying the kiss in your head until your elbow slips off the desk. And avoiding Jay seems near impossible, given his tendency to show up everywhere. Or rather, your tendency to see Jay in everything. 
Like the tiny little black cat you saw perched on the fence outside your apartment building, and the busker singing Harry Styles in the city centre. And the half-full bottle of Smirnoff Ice from that night that sits on your dresser with your perfume and jewellery, displayed with about as much sentiment as a trophy won at school for a random achievement. 
Impulsively, you post a selfie to your Instagram story before hiding your phone under your pillow and leaving the room entirely, making yourself comfortable atop the kitchen counter and waiting for someone to come back home. 
Chaewon gets home first, and quickly, arriving with a groan as she shrugs her jacket off and shuts the door behind her. “I hate uni,” she mutters. “I hate studying, I ha— Hey.” She jumps a little when she sees you in the kitchen. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, where’ve you been hiding?” 
“My room.” 
She nods, leaning comfortably against the doorframe. “You’re not going out tonight, right?” 
You shake your head, amused by the look of relief that paints Chaewon’s features as she whispers thank God. “I’m gonna shower, and take a nap,” she informs you. “But when I wake up, it’s you, me, pizza, and whatever story Yunjin has from practice.” 
“Can’t wait,” you say sincerely, stepping down from the counter. 
With a wide smile on her face, she salutes you before dragging her feet to the bathroom. Completely endeared, you decide not to comment on the salute even though you think it’s sweet that she’s starting to copy her boyfriend. 
The sounds of student housing on a Wednesday evening seep in through the open window as you pour yourself a glass of water, unable to stop wondering if Jay saw your story; and what he thought about it if he did. Wondering if he’d notice that the picture was from Saturday night. 
Filling up your glass again, you take it to your room and pull your phone out of hiding. Along with a message from Yunjin telling you and Chaewon to order your food so it comes shortly after she gets home, you find that Jay hit like on your story. Then sent a reply ten minutes later saying: you’re sooo gorgeous.
With a smile on your face, you type out various forms of “thank you so much, you’re perfect,” before settling on a simple: thank uuu :D, and Jay’s response is immediate. 
jay: i don’t think i’ve said that before
jay: how prettty i think you are
The heat that rises to your cheeks is troubling, yet despite your best efforts, you can’t get it to pass. Especially not when you read and reread Jay’s message. You press your eyes shut, willing the heat to pass, willing the grin on your face to fade. Neither works, in fact, they only worsen when you open your eyes to see the new messages waiting for you in the chat. 
jay: it’s a lot bte 
jay: *btw 
You let out a romcom-worthy sigh, clutching the phone to your chest and laying down on the bed. A glow-in-the-dark sticker stares back at you from its spot on your ceiling, a single star that you’d won as a set of two at the arcade with Kazuha in December. The memory brings a smile to your face, even though you remember being a little annoyed after she turned down the other star when you tried giving it to her.
Another message from Jay makes your phone vibrate in your hands. 
jay: sorrry 
you: it’s okay 
You tell him. Even though you’re not sure what he’s apologising for. Just like before, Jay reads the message immediately though this time his reply never comes.
With Yunjin now home from practice, and freshly showered, you sit on the couch with your flatmates, talking and laughing over the sound of the TV for hours until Netflix asks if you’re still watching, and Yunjin’s passed out with her cold, wet hair on your shoulder.  
Pressing a wet kiss to your cheek, Chaewon retires to bed, whispering “Goodniiiiiiiiight,” in your ear before abandoning you. Tired as you are, a part of you feels bad about waking Yunjin so you decide to sit a while longer, moving the blanket from your lap to cover her up properly. But of course, this is the movement that wakes her up. 
In a soft voice, you tell her goodnight, standing up from the couch to stretch your arms above your head. 
“You never told me what happened on Saturday,” Yunjin says tiredly. “Kkura told me you and Jay were busy in Mark’s room.” 
The mention of his name takes you back to that night. Back to Jay and the way his lips felt against yours, the way his hand held your waist, and the way he’d ditched you outside Mark’s room. A pit forms in your stomach; and as if reading your mind, Yunjin asks if you’re okay.
You sit down on the other end of the couch, bringing your knees up to your chest and telling the story from top to bottom. After recounting the night in detail from after she left you guys alone, you find yourself hyperaware of the differences between you and Yunjin. For you, the highlight of Saturday night was Jay kissing you and then running away after. 
“Wait, Sakura and who?” she asks when you’re done. 
For Yunjin, the highlight of the story seems to be Mark’s presence. 
“Mark.” 
“She told me she went on her own, what were they doing?” 
Although you have some idea, you think it best to keep your knowledge to yourself. “They were looking for her phone,” you say, pleased to see that Yunjin accepts your answer and moves on. 
“So then what?”
“He texted me hey on Sunday morning, which I ignored, and then a couple hours ago he replied to my story and told me how pretty he thinks I am,” you say, pausing to take a breath. “Then ignored my response.” 
Yunjin sits silently, seeming to take in everything she’d just been told. Her eyes are focused on the TV screen ahead so you look over at it too. It had gone into standby mode, displaying nothing but an indistinct impression of the two of you. 
And the silence continues. 
In the TV’s cast, you can just about make out the way she tilts and then turns her head to look at you. “Maybe he’s just.. frazzled, or something, from being walked in on. How did you feel?” 
The answer takes a while to come up with because for you, the night exists in two parts — Before kissing Jay, and everything else that happened when you left the room. This whole time, you’ve been so focused on him leaving, that you’ve barely given any thought to how you felt when Sakura opened the door. Frazzled, you think. Probably the best word to use. Embarrassed suits a bit better though. 
“I was embarrassed about it, but only because it was Mark. If it had been you, or Chaewon, whoever, it would’ve been different because they’d walk in and go “oh sorry” or something and leave, but obviously, when it’s Mark going into his own room, he’s there for something, you know?” you explain, chewing at your bottom lip.
“Maybe that’s how he feels too.”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t embarrassing enough to leave and never talk to him again.” 
Yunjin exhales heavily. “I want to be on your side, really, I do, but isn’t that kinda what you did?” she asks, her voice hesitant as she tilts her head. “He texted you the next day and you didn’t reply, what do you think he’s thinking about right now?” 
“He’s the one who said he should get back to the boys.”
“What if that’s just because he spoke first?” she suggests. “Obviously we don’t know what you would’ve said if you spoke first, because you didn’t, but I feel like you would’ve been like “I-I’m gonna get back to the girls” and ran away.” 
Always correct, Yunjin is your worst enemy and your best friend rolled into one. Oh, how you hate her. Well, she’s correct about the fact that you would have said the same thing. You think. You press your lips together in a straight line and sink into your seat. 
She sighs when you don’t speak. “Look, he talked to you today, and told you how pretty you are, which is a win, right?” 
You nod reluctantly. 
“So let’s celebrate that, celebrate the fact that you kissed Jay! Even better, the fact that he kissed you.” Yunjin pauses, for what you think is dramatic effect, before speaking again. “Just.. don’t sweat the small stuff, okay?” She stops again to yawn. “And text him back if he reaches out, or, text him first.” 
Leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom, you brush your teeth, watching as Yunjin does the same, sitting on the edge of the tub with her eyes shut. While gargling mouthwash, you think about the conversation you’ve just had and decide to take matters into your own hands. By pleading with God to put Jay in front of you and have him tell you that he likes you back. 
Once again, the higher powers seem to be on your side. Kind of. Jay does end up in front of you to tell you that he likes you back. Kind of. But only after learning that you’ll have to start your report again; which, given that you’d only gotten through 800 of the required 4000 words, wasn't exactly criminal. It was an irritation that settled in you, mainly, as all of your research and the sources you’d found were now redundant in the face of such adversity. 
Nonetheless, with heavy feet, you leave the lecture hall, trying to come up with a way to fake your graduation ceremony next year so you can secretly drop out. You draw a blank and find Jay waiting in line at the vending machine near the library’s entrance. 
Even though you’d spoken with her on Tuesday night, here, today, on Friday afternoon, Yunjin’s words echo so clearly in your mind you almost want to peer over your shoulder to see if she’s there. You do. She isn’t. 
Your formerly heavy feet lead you right over to Jay, who greets you with a smile. “How’s the report coming?” he asks, his tone light, easygoing, and clearly oblivious to the fact that his question strikes you like a knife to the gut. 
The two of you shuffle forward slightly, now at the front of the queue. Waiting for your response, he punches E6 into the machine that rattles loudly, delivering his bottle of Lipton lemon. 
“Not great,” you tell him, feigning nonchalance and watching as he presses E4 before squatting down to collect both drinks. “Are you heading to class?” 
Standing up straight, Jay holds out the new(er) bottle of Lipton peach towards you. “What happened?” 
Holding the drink in your hands, you fall into step with him and sigh despite yourself. “I have to start over.” 
Jay’s eyes widen and his jaw drops slightly at your words. Dramatic. Cute. “Nooo,” he says sincerely. “How come?”
“I read the question wrong.��
“Oh,” he says. “That’s okay, at least you found out now rather than later. And you still have until December to get it done, that’s almost two months! I’m sure most people haven’t even read the question,” he tells you in a gentle voice. 
There’s a fuzziness in your chest, and Jay’s words make you feel like everything will be alright. Even though you weren’t exactly cut up about the report, something about talking with him about it leaves you feeling soothed when you look up to give him a warm smile.
“I don’t have classes today, I’m just here to study,” he says, answering your earlier question as he leads you to a table. 
You watch as Jay sits down, and decide to take a seat across from him, dumping your bag on the floor at your feet. His brows quirk up when you put the drink down on his side of the table, confusion evident in his voice when he says: “You don’t like peach tea anymore?” 
All of a sudden your heart is pounding, and you grin despite yourself. Oh, Jay, you think. “It’s my favourite.” 
Matching your smile Jay slides the bottle over to you. “It’s yours,” he says.
You can’t explain the overwhelming sense of gratitude you feel over a barely cold, 500ml bottle of tea, but it beams brightly on the table between you; radiant, glowy, the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. “Thank you,” you say sincerely in a soft voice, lest you knock the bottle out of its haze. 
The deepest part of your brain romanticises the scene around you even further, and the table you sit at, in the smallest library on campus, starts to seem like something from a kid’s storybook. From a mythical land where the iced tea is luminescent, and you get to study with an angel who wears Chrome Hearts pants and olive green 6s.
“Can I read it when you’re done?” His question cuts through your thoughts. Surprised by how genuine Jay sounds, you glance back over at him to find him already looking at you, his lips pushed up into a soft smile that spreads flutters around your chest.
It takes you longer than you’d like to admit to realise what he’s talking about, but you tilt your head when you do. “You wanna read my paper on wind turbines and solar farms?” you ask. 
Jay’s eyes widen briefly as if shocked that you’re even asking him that. “Of course I do,” he says, sounding almost offended, defensive maybe. 
You eye him from across the table, sceptical. Jay seems to pick up on this. “Why wouldn’t I want to know about the UN’s advances towards net zero by 2030?” he asks, chuckling to himself when you raise a brow. He shrugs. “I got curious after you mentioned it.” 
With burning cheeks, you watch him as he continues to talk, neither of you making any effort to start on the work you’re there to do. As much as you feel it’d be useful to get work done in the library — because it’ll allow you to go home and do nothing without guilt — you don’t see the point in half-assing your research and absentmindedly chatting with Jay, when you could ditch the research completely and fixate over the way his lips move to form his words. 
“I lost my student card so I need to read while I’m in here. I think it’s better though; easier to stay focused, less distractions,” Jay tells you when you ask what brought him to uni just to study alone. “Usually,” he adds, gaze flicking up to meet yours with a teasing smile crossing his lips.
Jay’s words hold a flirtatious undertone that isn’t lost on you or the butterflies that take flight in your stomach. “I’m not a distraction,” you say, frowning slightly. 
“I never said you were, but I had no problem getting my work done until you got here.” 
Jay’s words remind you of your first test for Property Law in February. The two of you sat together at a table in the campus cafe, empty mugs and printed slides scattered across the space between you. For four hours, you highlighted sentences and rewrote notes to keep your hands busy until Jay walked you back to your flat, where you pulled an all-nighter so you could actually study. You got a 61 and slept for twelve hours afterwards. 
“If it’s getting to you that much, I can go,” you offer, really, really, hoping he doesn’t take you up on it.
“No, please stay. I like spending time with you,” Jay admits with a slight downturn at the corners of his lips. 
You try to work out how to echo his sentiment without sounding like a lovestruck fool, though you draw a blank, distracted by the way he– “Are you batting your lashes at me?” you ask through a chuckle.
Jay squints. “Is it working?” 
You shake your head. 
“Well, neither are you,” he points out, crossing his arms over his chest in a way that almost makes you feel scolded despite his light tone. You think you like it. 
An overly dramatic sigh huffs its way out of your mouth as you roll your eyes at him, fighting a smile at the sound of his breathy laughter. “Whatever. Starting now, I’ll work on my paper. You focus on your reading, no distractions,” you suggest.
“Right, no distractions,” Jay repeats, his eyes falling to your lips. 
Sticking to your word proves much easier than you’d initially thought and you manage to sit, mostly undistracted, for more than a little while, putting the paragraphs that can stay in italics, the bits that need to be amended in bold, and deleting the rest. 
Your workflow is broken only when Jay speaks softly, “Is it cool if Heeseung works with us?” he asks, sending a text after you tell him that it’s okay. 
And as if he’d been waiting around the corner, Heeseung shows up seconds later. “Jongseongieeeeee,” he coos when he sees Jay, extending a hand to pat his head and ruffle his hair. 
Unable to hide his irritation, Jay’s face scrunches up at the interaction and in an attempt to stop the sudden attack, he grabs Heeseung by the wrist, seeming shocked when it works. You watch him fix his hair in his phone camera. 
In the same playful tone, Heeseung says your name too, sitting down in the seat next to Jay. “I feel like I haven’t seen you since the hockey mixer.” 
You can’t help the breathy laugh that comes out at the cute pout on his lips. “Because you haven’t seen me since the hockey mixer,” you say, smiling at Jay when you notice him looking at you. 
“You weren’t at the football party, were you?” Heeseung asks, his eyes widening right when the words leave his mouth. “Riiiiiiiight, you were.” He mumbles to himself before covering his mouth with his hand. “I’m just..” he trails off, pointing at his laptop with his index finger before opening it and sinking in his seat. 
There’s a nasty pit forming in your stomach while you watch Heeseung all but disappear behind his screen. And in the black screen of your laptop, you stare at yourself, pretending that: 1. The fingerprints and smudges don’t bother you, and 2. That you don’t notice the way Jay’s looking at you. Or rather, the fact that Jay’s looking at you. If you’d noticed the way he was looking at you, you might have picked up on the softness of his gaze. But you didn't, so you don’t. 
Instead, the fact that Jay’s watching you only makes you feel worse. Though at least it looks like your hair is sitting nicely today, you think, glad to have at least one thing working for you rather than against you. Like the pit in your stomach, or the Lipton peach that tastes like nothing when you take the first sip.
In the presence of Heeseung - and the things he said - the three of you manage to get on with your work, free of conversation. 
Reluctantly, you let the two boys walk you back to your place when you’re ready to go home. Heeseung leads the conversation, thankfully, with no more mention of the football party and even hugs you goodbye while Jay watches from a few feet away. Judging by the expression on his face, you’d think the person he’d liked for months kissed him and then ran away. 
“Sorry,” Heeseung whispers, pressing his lips into a straight line. 
With your key in the lock, you watch as they retreat, Heeseung nudging Jay when he reaches him and mumbling something that you can’t quite make out. Neither of the girls are home when you get inside and, sprawling out on the couch, you look for your phone to make plans. 
you: we should go out tn
cw: tmrw ! i have a deadline
yj: broke friday or .. j*emins party 
Too broke for broke Friday, the two of you find yourselves stepping over the legs of a sleeping Sunghoon to reach the open door to Jeno and Jaemin’s apartment. There are people everywhere, including the hall outside, but you suppose this is the benefit of student housing; none of your neighbours can complain about noise because they’re too busy being part of the commotion. 
Jake almost spills his drink when he sees you both, saying “heyyyyy,” with a giggle and eyes that linger on Yunjin while he talks though he quickly excuses himself to take water to poor Sunghoonie. 
The night is largely uneventful, much the same as every other night out you’ve had since starting college. Except for the part where Jay shows up,a massive grin on his face to greet your friends. Sakura, Yunjin, and Kazuha all get a “hey” and a brief hug. Jay regards you with a nod and a small smile. At least Kazuha seems to believe you when you tell her that you’re crying in Jaemin’s bathroom because you hate your outfit.
After a weekend of self-pity, you spend Monday at a coffee shop with Sakura, watching as she studi—“You could at least pretend to study, you know?” she sighs. “Every time I look up you’re either staring at me or using your phone, it’s distracting.” 
With a frown on your face, you touch your mug to see if your coffee is cool enough to drink yet — it’s not — before flipping your notebook to a blank page and trying to write out some of the key points that you remember from Friday’s lecture. A part of you feels bad for neglecting your Architectural Practice class but it’s just not as interesting, and you tell yourself that you’ll dedicate all of your time to it after finishing your report. You definitely will not come to regret leaving three months worth of work to the very last minute. 
You study with Sakura for a few hours until deciding that you simply cannot continue, and the two of you leave the cafe in favour of a Mcdonald’s drive-thru, eating your dinner in the dark parking lot before she drops you off.
On Tuesday night, you’re thankful that Yunjin and Kazuha don’t push you to go out with them when you say you’re tired, but when Netflix asks if you’re still watching Modern Family at almost 3 a.m., you wish they had. 
You push yourself out of bed to do your skincare, and hear the two girls coming back home as you apply your last pimple patch. After Kazuha all but yells something about a huge pair of shoes by the door, it seems like they settle in the kitchen. 
They’re sharing a bowl of cereal at the table when you get there. Feeling bad, you make instant noodles for them while Yunjin hugs you from behind. Both of you try your best to laugh quietly at Kazuha’s story about some box blond figure skater who completely blanked her when she tried flirting despite staring at her all night.
Once the food is ready, you sit up on the counter, watching them eat straight from the pot. Trying to talk to those two while they’re so invested in dinner is a waste of energy so you busy yourself on your phone instead, scrolling aimlessly until both girls kiss you on the cheek to thank you for looking after them. Kazuha gratefully drinks the glass of water you give her, and Yunjin, as you expect, is stubborn about it; taking three small sips before running away to her room. 
The argument you can hear through the open window keeps you entertained as you wash the dishes, and you check your phone on the way to your room, finding two texts from Jay. 
jay: i know it’s late but can we talk in person if you’re up
jay: it’ s important
They came in four minutes ago and you chew on your lip trying to figure out what he wants to talk about. 
you: are you okay?
jay: can you come outside 
With not even enough time to hit send on the three question marks you’d typed out, the distinct ring of a FaceTime call surprises you. Though what you find more surprising is the sight of your building’s door behind Jay’s face which just about fills the screen. Lit dramatically by an orange street light, he looks beautiful. Looks cute when his lips pout slightly around the words: come quickly and dress warm, as he successfully convinces you to leave the comfort of your bed.
Through the glass in the main door, you see him. With his hands stuffed in his pockets, he looks up towards the sky and puffs visible breaths into the air above him. Jay turns around at the sound of the door opening. You feel your stomach lurch because he doesn’t smile when he sees you. 
“Hey,” he says after a while, watching you intently, inspecting almost, as you shut the door softly behind you. His face softens, the smile he hadn’t given earlier coming through now. “Are you wearing my jacket?” His voice is soft too when he speaks, breathy enough for the smell of alcohol and vague peppermint to hit your nose. 
“I thought I should probably give it back,” you nod. “Sorry I kept it so long.”
Jay shakes his head, hair shifting on his forehead from the motion. “No, I love it on you. Please keep it,” he pauses, taking a step towards you. “I want you to keep it.” 
Thank God, you think. You hadn’t really been meaning to give it back, and you weren’t really sorry to have kept it so long, it just felt like the right thing to say. 
The space between you is so small that you wonder if he can hear the way your heart rate starts to pick up. In the time you hadn’t talked, you’d seen him around campus, in the corners of story posts, but seeing him here in front of you is almost overwhelming. A gust of wind ruffles the jacket Jay has on and his scent unfurls right under your nose; warm, lived in, mixed with faint sweat and what you think might be tobacco. It creates a musk that leaves you weak at the knees.
“It was milk and cookies night,” Jay continues when you don’t respond, digging into his pocket and holding a plastic-wrapped cookie out towards you. “You like white chocolate chip, right?” 
Hearing that it was milk and cookies night makes you wonder if you’d been too hasty when you turned down the girls’ invitation. 
Despite the cold, Jay’s hand is warm when your fingers graze his. Letting your touch linger, you thank him sincerely, touched by the little things he seems to remember about you. 
Even though you’re aware of the other students coming home from various nights out, and end up having to move out of the way so some of them can enter your building, it feels like the two of you are in your own world. You notice that his sights are locked on the cookie, on the spot where your fingers touch, allowing you to admire him freely. 
Standing almost directly under the lamppost now, you notice that his cheeks and the tips of his ears are dusted with red. You feel a little bad, he must be freezing, you think. Your gaze falls to his lips that sit parted, chapped like you expect, and now you’re thinking of kissing him. 
Clearing his throat, Jay moves his hand from yours to put it in his pocket. You do the same. 
“I know I said I wanted to talk, but I just wanted to see you,” he says, looking you right in the eyes. “I wasn’t sure you’d come if I said that.” 
You frown, wondering if this whole time he’s been avoiding you because he thought you didn’t want to see him. “Why wouldn’t I?” 
Jay only shrugs in response. 
From over your shoulder, you hear the door opening. Jay’s eyes flicker in its direction. You turn your head to look too. A boy with pink hair frowns when both of you tell him you don’t have the lighter he’d been looking to borrow. 
“I’m sorry about leaving after we kissed. And for avoiding you. That was stupid,” Jay says as soon as the door closes. “It was childish of me to do that instead of just telling you how I feel. I wasn’t gonna say anything, because I know you only see me as a friend, but I have to let you know that I like you, a lot.” 
You stand around limply for a beat, staring up at Jay and trying to take in every single detail about this moment before you inevitably wake up. But this ‘dream’ doesn’t cut off where you’d been expecting it to. Instead, you feel your heart thudding against your ribs, your stomach flipping. The only thing you can get yourself to do is blink at the boy in front of you. The boy who likes you. 
A lot.
“It’s just that, after Heeseung said that shit in the library and you couldn’t even look at me, I knew I didn’t have a chance with you and I just.. am trying to figure out how to be near you and pretend like I don’t want to drop everything and kiss you.” 
“What’s stopping you?” you ask, surprised that your voice even comes out properly.
Jay’s gaze drops to your lips. Without noticing, the two of you had gotten so close that your chests are barely an inch apart; they’d probably touch if either of you took just one deep inhale. A beat passes. His gaze flicks up to meet yours and your breath hitches in your throat. You want to kiss him. You must. Right when you start to lean up towards him, to put your lips on his, he steps back. 
“Fuck,” Jay mumbles, his brows knitting together as he shakes his head. “I’m sorry.” 
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The ability to hold his liquor is something that Jay sees as both a blessing and a curse. 
On the bright side, he can drink as much as he wants and won’t say or do anything he wouldn’t say or do when sober. His delivery might be a little off when he’s drunk but the point still stands.
On the not-so-bright, catastrophically dim side, however, Jay wakes up the morning after drinking with a vivid memory of everything that happened to him at whatever party he’d been to. Plus a killer migraine. 
And so, since drunkenly showing up at your place with a cookie in his pocket and his heart on his sleeve two weeks ago, Jay’s been quietly pitying himself and gently encouraging Jake to work harder on physics so he can get some sort of time machine up and running. 
Though it seems like you’ve been able to go on as normal. So normal, in fact, that Jay starts to believe the whole thing was just an elaborate dream. So elaborate that when he scrolls through your text thread, he finds the messages that you’d ‘exchanged’ that night. He finds the thought of having developed self-awareness in a two-week-long dream to be a greater comfort than the reality that you don’t like him back. 
You would have said if you did. Right? Or at least brought up what he’d said. Asked if you could talk about it. You’d be so excited to see him again, sober, that you wouldn’t even be able to say anything except: “I like you too!” Right? 
But you haven’t. So unless you’re going through trauma-inflicted amnesia, or someone has finally come up with the technology to invent The Neuralyzer, you really don’t like him back.
Jay had been so sure, certain that you liked him back. It just seemed so obvious; like the way you seemed to find him at every party, and how anytime you saw Jake in the engineering block you’d ask about him. Surely it wasn’t all in his head. The way that Chaewon and Yunjin had been teasing you at the hockey mixer, and how Yunjin made up that excuse to leave the two of you alone at the football party. It was all so.. like-y.  
Even today, when you texted him asking to hang out. He was sure that you were finally (finally!) going to tell him you liked him too. So sure, he’d even told the boys that he’d be coming back home as someone’s boyfriend. As your boyfriend. 
But instead, Jay finds himself climbing the stairs of his apartment complex wondering how the fuck he’d been so delusional. In his back pocket, his phone vibrates. Twice. Texts; both from you. 
you: i forgot to say but lmk when u get home lol
you: and if u have time to hang out before ur game tmrw !
His heart twists in his chest as he reads your messages. 
jay: okayyyyyyyyyyyyy, i can chill for a bit
jay: what did you have in mind? 
After fishing his house key from his jacket, he twists it in the lock and crosses the threshold before texting you once more: home now :). You heart the message immediately. The laughter that Jay could hear in the hall quiets as soon as he closes the door, and heavy footsteps thud towards the living room’s open doorway. Sunghoon. 
“It’s Mr YN YL—” he stops short. “Oh.” It’s not until Sunghoon looks over his shoulder and shakes his head that Jay even notices the stupid shutter shades he’s wearing. And when Jay joins his friends in the living room, he smiles despite himself seeing the way they’d decorated the space. Streamers dangle from the ceiling, hand-drawn A4 posters with both of your names written in lopsided hearts are stuck to the wall, and Jay ignores the thought of losing the security deposit to appreciate his friends; they’re good to him. 
On the way to his usual seat, an armchair in the corner of the room, Jay stops to wrestle a bottle of Desperados from the open six back sitting atop the coffee table and kicks a balloon that was in his path before sinking into his chair. 
Knowing there’s no use giving them a play-by-play, Jay recounts the last few hours as briefly as he can. He makes sure to leave out small details; like how he felt weak at the knees when you hugged him and told him you loved him after he won you a Hello Kitty plushie from the claw machine that you swore was rigged. Or how you’d worn his jacket out and his heart started racing when he noticed that your perfume had started to mix with his cologne. Unexpectedly, the guys seem hooked on the story right until its end. “So it’s not like it went badly or anything, I just.. didn’t tell her.”
Somehow, all three of them speak at the same time: “What do you mean you didn’t tell her?” 
Jay stares at a spot on the floor, noticing a hole in the toe of Jake’s sock. He’ll make fun of that later. “I just couldn’t get the words out,” he mumbles, shoulders drooping as he slumps further and further into his seat before taking the first sip of his bitter drink a—“Fuck, why does anybody drink these?” 
“Cheap,” Sunghoon mumbles, scowling after sipping from his own.
Clearly.
“Unless I’m missing something, this doesn’t seem like the end of the world. Just tell her tomorrow, tell her now, text her,” Heeseung sighs, letting his eyes fall shut. 
The other two boys seem to agree, echoing the sentiment and adding their own ad libs to it. Jay watches as Sunghoon leans over to get another drink from the table, admiring his commitment to beer drinking even though he doesn’t like it. He waits for silence before speaking again: “I already know she doesn’t like me that way. And it’s only been two weeks so it doesn’t make sense to confess again so soon when I know the answer.” 
“Again?” Sunghoon asks, raising a brow. 
Ahhh, Jay knew there was something he’d forgotten to do. Though he's struggling to figure out how he’d withheld this information, considering it was the main thing on his mind at all hours. “Yeah, after milk and cookies I went to hers and told her I like her,” he says, attempting to feign nonchalance, shoulders rising and falling in a stiff shrug.
“And you kept that to yourself because..” 
Jay scrunches up his nose, genuinely unsure. “I didn’t go there to confess, I just wanted to see her and give her the cookie I got for her,” he admits. “But then she came outside, and she had my jacket on, and she just looked so pretty. The only thing on my mind was oh, my God, I can’t go any longer without telling you I’m in love with you.” Jay pauses, taking a long sip of beer before telling them what happened outside your building. 
As if he wasn’t feeling bad enough already, Heeseung bursts out laughing. Hard. It’s not long before Jake and Sunghoon join in and Jay wants to vanish into thin air. Feeling slightly left out, he also wants to ask what’s so funny, but the fear of being slated holds him back. 
It’s the eldest who calms down first, sitting up straight in his seat. “So you go to YN’s door, tell her you like her, almost kiss her, then explicitly tell her not to say she likes you back, run away from her, again, and you’re wondering why she didn’t say she likes you back?”
With the story being laid out so simply, Jay starts to see the flaws in his logic. Though too stubborn to admit that he’s wrong in front of Jake, he nods his head. “Exactly.” 
He presses his lips into a straight line when the boys call him chronically stupid. 
“You need to call her, talk to her, figure your shit out before it’s too late,” Heeseung says with a firm tone. 
Jay thinks about it, biting at his bottom lip before replying, asking in a small voice: “But what if she says she doesn’t like me?” 
As much as not having confirmation is killing him, there’s a part of Jay that likes not knowing how you feel about him because it lets him play into his delusions. Lets him feed himself with thoughts of you being excited to see him because you like him and not because he makes great platonic company. The thought of you checking up on him through Jake because you’ve been thinking about him, but feel too shy to ask directly. And Jay knows when you properly reject him, he won’t be comforted by such thoughts anymore. They’ll only hurt him. 
Though after hearing what may be the wisest thing he thinks Sunghoon has ever said, Jay starts to see the situation a little differently. It’s casual. Spoken through a yawn. “You already don’t have a girlfriend. Nothing to lose, right?” 
The walk to your apartment building is longer than he remembers, but the cool air feels good on his neck as he tries to figure out what exactly he should say. Jay only starts to consider that this may not be the best idea when he stands face to face with your apartment building and feels a little too nervous to buzz your flat. What is he doing? 
A grating screech comes from the heavy door when it opens, and Chaewon’s boyfriend steps outside with squinted eyes. “Jay?” he asks as the door thuds shut behind him. “YN didn’t say you were coming over.” 
An awkward chuckle slips from Jay’s lips and (for the first time in his life) he does jazz hands. “Surprise?”
Jay feels better when Jeno’s lips spread into a grin. “Ohhhh,” he says, nodding and extending an almost empty deck of cigarettes in his direction. 
“I’m good,” Jay declines, shaking his head. 
Though if things go poorly up there he might have to take Jeno up on his offer. 
Holding his cigarette between his lips, Jeno uses a fob to open the door for him, and Jay can’t help but feel comforted by the way Jeno pats him on the back and says: “I’m rooting for you.” 
Standing at the door to your apartment only unleashes a new sense of nervousness. His hand rests on it, balled into a fist, waiting to be pulled back. But something stops him. Jay lets his hand slip down the door and takes a step away from it. He’d been standing too close. Now, he stands shifting his weight from foot to foot, and the toes of his shoes are just touching the doormat. 
Reminding himself that knocking isn’t the hard part, Jay takes a deep breath and knocks three times. 
A few minutes pass and it’s now that he remembers he doesn’t even know for sure that you’re home, or awake. He counts ten seconds before knocking again and the second his fist touches the door, he hears the sound of a lock clicking and the door creaks open. 
Like something from a dream, you stand in the doorway, looking so beautiful with his hoodie on that Jay has to put in effort to keep his jaw from falling to the ground. 
“Jay?” you say quietly, brows furrowed. “Is everything alright?” 
“Do you like me?” Jay blurts out, pressing his eyes shut immediately as all plans of a proper conversation go to the wind. From his spot on your doormat, he can hear the sound of the TV quieting and a terrible silence settles over the two of you; lasting eight whole seconds before you speak. 
“Do you wanna come in?”
Jay steps into the apartment, taking off his shoes at the door while mumbling a greeting to Yunjin and Chaewon who (definitely heard him) lay on the couch with wide grins on their faces, and follows you to your room where you close the door behind him. 
“Sorry, I had, like, a speech ready and then I saw you and I just..” he trails off, standing awkwardly near the door and looking at everything in the room except for you; he struggles to tear his eyes away from a polaroid picture of the two of you with huge grins. It’s only when you talk that he manages to look over at you instead. 
“You can sit down,” you say, patting a spot on the bed next to you. Without saying anything, Jay crosses the room to sit beside you — if sitting at arm’s length can be considered as beside you. “Tell me about the speech,” you say, and Jay shakes his head while trying to convince himself that your chuckle isn’t patronising. 
“Do you like me?” he asks again, not wanting to waste any more time. 
“I like you.” 
Your words, simple and quiet, leave Jay winded. 
“You look surprised,” you say, tilting your head. “You really didn’t know?”
Immediately, he relaxes his face. Clears his throat. Jay’s not entirely sure what he did and didn’t know, but he doesn’t think it matters. Nothing could possibly matter more than you do right now. “Doesn’t matter,” he says, letting out a sigh of relief. “I like you too.” The words sound regular when he says them, though he does like the lightness in his chest knowing for sure that the feeling is mutual. “Can you say it again?”
“Jay,” you start, resting your hand on his knee. Jay wonders if this is supposed to comfort him and clasps his hands over his lap as discreetly as he can manage. “I like you,” you tell him again.
Under the weight of your words, Jay feels his heart cinch a little in his chest. Why does everything sound so perfect coming from you? He can’t help but lean in, finally kissing you after what feels like an eternity. Jay didn’t think anything would feel better than your first kiss, but having your lips move softly against his, and knowing that you like him back, might just be the best thing ever. How did he go so long without this? Dazed and lovestruck, he lets his forehead rest against yours to calm down, to catch his breath. “Again?” he whispers, hopeful, one step away from begging.
You let out a chuckle, soft, breathy, fanning his lips. “I like you,” you say after a while, quietly, a whisper, just for him before kissing him again.
Jay’s not sure when it happened, he’s not even sure he notices that you’re sitting in his lap until you grind down on him; the feeling overwhelming despite all of the layers between you. A whine slips from your mouth into his when he rolls his hips up towards yours, and he can’t help but hate himself a bit for not just confessing sooner. 
You pull away from him, a smile on your face as he chases your kiss. “Please touch me,” you whisper, hiding your face in his neck when he chuckles at your request, calling you cute under his breath.
He feels oddly thankful that you’re not grinding on him any longer because he was about two more movements away from cumming in his pants. His hand slips under your shorts, finding your clit and pressing on it through your underwear, liking the way your breath fans his skin when you sigh. The wet patch on the fabric only starts to spread when he starts rubbing you. “You like that?” 
“Yeah,” you tell him on an exhale, letting your hips roll against his hand, whimpering at the friction. 
Your mouth quickly finds his again, and you let your hand clutch at his shirt, balling it up in your first before tugging at it, parting to take it off of him. With wide eyes, you gape at his torso, the word “Shit,” falling from your mouth while you let a hand rest on his stomach. 
When he tries pushing your panties to the side, the soaked material sticks to your slit slightly, and Jay groans despite himself. You’re absolutely drenched in slick, sopping wet to the core as you let out a broken whine from the feeling of his finger slipping into you. Curling his finger towards your belly button, his eyes fall shut, cock throbbing against his thigh when he thinks about how you’d feel around his shaft, how you’d look under him.
“You’re so good,” you whisper, awestruck and trembling in his lap.
The way you watch him makes him feel a little under pressure when he opens his eyes, but, determined to make you feel good, Jay attaches his thumb to your clit and everything is so slick that his finger slips around a bit before he can help it. You squirm in his lap, your head falling forward into the crook of his neck, forcing Jay to hiss when you bite on the skin of his shoulder. Your whimpers turn into cries and you mumble that you’re close, your walls tensing around him a moment later as if to prove your point. 
Jay pulls his fingers out, holding back a moan at the way they glisten in the light, coated in you— “Nooo,” you whine, sounding audibly distraught. 
Though he’s too busy tasting your cunt on his fingers to grace you with a response. In the quiet of the room, you sit up properly to look at him, watching with parted lips as Jay sucks on his fingers, humming at the way you taste. You barely give him a chance to put his hand back down before pressing your lips to his, moaning into his mouth as you taste yourself on his tongue. 
Getting a tight grip on your waist, he moves around a bit to lay you down on the bed. Resting on his forearm, Jay leans over you, kissing you again. He lets his hand trail down your body, liking the way you spread your legs when he dips his fingers into your waistband. You nod eagerly when he asks if he can take them off, and his cock throbs when you tell him to take your panties off too. 
With no unnecessary fabric in his way, his finger drags up and down the length of your pussy. Already close, it doesn’t take long for you to start whimpering and squirming underneath him, your walls stuttering once again as you cum, hot and hard on his hand. 
Ever the gentleman, Jay stands up to place himself between your legs, groaning at the sight of you, pulsing and wet. “Such a pretty pussy,” he says. Deciding not to waste another second, he uses his thumbs to spread your lips a little before burying his face in your cunt. 
It doesn’t take much for you to writhe under his tongue, and as soon as he kisses your clit it’s a wrap. He feels his cock leaking a little when your clit starts to throb between his lips, and he can’t help but groan when you tug at his hair. 
You stutter through the words: “Too much,” and Jay tears his mouth away from you, letting his forehead rest on your inner thigh while he catches his breath, savouring your taste on his tongue. It doesn’t last long though; your scent drives him crazy. When Jay leans back over your face, he presses kisses to your cheek, mumbling to you about how pretty you are, and how good you taste, all while playing with the drawstrings of your hoodie. 
He likes the way it looks on you, way better than it does on him. Likes it so much, he almost objects when you sit up to pull it over your head. Jay’s glad he doesn’t. He gulps at the sight of your breasts, surprised to see that you weren’t wearing anything under his hoodie, his dick somehow growing harder just from looking at you. 
Jay feels an intense desperation to suck on them, but your hands reach back up to his face, pulling him towards you to kiss him again. He settles (ecstatically) for holding one in his hand, pinching your nipple with his fingers. He’s relaxed, he’s happy; not torn up about it because he has all the time in the world to feel your tits in his mouth. 
He thinks. 
Jay pulls away from you. “Wait,” he says, feeling butterflies when you smile up at him. “Can I be your boyfriend?”
Your giggle sounds like music and he feels warm all over when you say, “Of course,” the words somewhat muffled by his lips on yours again, he could make out with you all day. But he stops for a moment, looking down at you, into your eyes and revelling in this moment. Revelling in you, his girlfriend, and the way you look at him. Like he put the stars in the sky or moved mountains; like you want him just as much as he’s wanted you all this time. And he wonders what he’s done to deserve it. 
Overwhelmed by emotion, Jay kisses you, lets his tongue run along the seam of your lips as he considers just kissing you for the rest of the night. It almost seems like he’s trying to, and you speak once more against his mouth. 
“Are you gonna fuck me?” you ask, moving your head to the side. “It’s okay if you’re not, but I’d like to know.” 
Jay smirks at you — pretty cocky for a guy whose dick is throbbing against his thigh just from hearing you talk. “You want that?”
“Mhm,” you hum, nodding. “Need it.” Your gaze burns into his as he tries to process your words. You look distractingly beautiful with a thin sheen of sweat on your forehead, lidded eyes, and kiss-plumped lips that you press up against his once more. “There’s condoms in the second drawer.”
Leaning up off of you, Jay reaches into his back pocket to show off the two condoms he’d brought with him.
“Classy,” you tease, though there’s an excitement in your eyes that drives him mad. 
“Responsible,” he corrects, standing up to pull his pants and underwear down. Slapping against his stomach, his cock throbs when he hears you gasp. Jay lifts his head in your direction, trying not to cum on the spot from the sight of you leaning up on your elbows, staring at his dick with an open mouth. 
Taking a deep breath, Jay reminds himself that he has all the time in the world to find out what your pretty lips will feel like around him, choosing to busy himself with putting the condom on instead. “How do you want it?” 
If the way you stop and stammer through the word “However” is anything to go by, the question seems to catch you off guard. Making his way back over to you, Jay racks his brain trying to figure out how he wants this to go, but seeing you on your back with your legs spread for him makes it clear. He hovers over you, lips drawn to yours like a magnet, using his hand to run the tip of his cock up and down your pussy, all while you whine against his mouth every time he pushes past your clit. 
“Don’t want to wait any longer.”
Your words make his stomach turn. He pulls away, his brows knitted together. “How long have you been waiting?” 
“Months, Jay,” you say, voice barely above a whisper, eyes screwed shut in a tortured expression. “Please.” 
Satisfied with your answer, Jay guides his cock to your slit. Pushes just a little. “I won’t make you wait like that again,” he tells you, and he means it, pushing in as much as he can before you cry out. 
Worried, Jay stops, leaning close to press a kiss to your cheek. “You okay?” 
“I just need a sec,” you tell him breathlessly.
Jay nods. As good as he feels, quitting while he’s ahead seems like the better option at the minute — he needs a sec too, but with the way your walls clench around him, it doesn’t really feel like much has changed. He finds himself having to hold his hips back after a while, as you get used to the feeling of him inside, your pretty little cunt starts trying to suck him in and his breath hitches in his throat when you look him in the eye. 
With a hand on the back of his neck, you pull his face back down to yours. “I’m good,” you mumble into his ear. 
“Yeah?” he asks, grinning when you nod in response. 
You stretch around him so easily that Jay whines as you take him in, deeper and deeper, inch by inch until he bottoms out. “Shit,” he mutters. How did he go so long without this? The sting of your nails digging into his bicep makes him hiss and he all but passes out when you moan. Falling from your mouth on a loop with every move he makes, his name is the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard; you cut yourself off with a gasp, breath hitching in your throat.
“There?” Jay asks, even though he knows he’s hitting your spot. 
You look up at him through fluttering eyelids, becoming more and more dazed each time his hips smack yours. “Mhm, I—close,” you mumble. 
Jay takes this as a sign to hike your leg up around his waist, making sure to hit it each time he pumps into you. It seems like it’s working. “Cum for me, baby,” he whispers, using his free hand to push some of your hair out of your face. 
Your whines turn into broken sobs and you hide your face in the pillow next to you, muffling your screams. Although he thinks your consideration for your flatmates is coming a bit late, he leaves you be, finding the sight sexier than he cares to admit. 
Sexier still is the way your body tenses before squirming again, your walls pulsing uncontrollably around him while you cum. Jay’s stomach starts to tighten as he fucks you, spurred on by the look on your face as you orgasm, and the sound of his cock filling you up. With a few more thrusts and a jagged moan, he spills his load into the condom, just about collapsing on top of you. 
Considering how fucked out and sleepy you’d been while Jay cleaned you up, he isn’t surprised to find you fast asleep when he gets back from cleaning himself. He does his best to join you in bed as softly as possible but it’s no use because you wake with a large yawn, making his heartache from a weird mixture of guilt and how cute you look. 
He lays on his back, grinning to himself when you rest your head on his chest, making yourself comfy with an arm and leg slung over him. You talk drowsily about watching The Devil Wears Prada in full after his game tomorrow and nod eagerly when he asks if you want to wear one of his jerseys to come and watch him play. Jay keeps his eyes shut until he hears you snoring faintly, and looks forward to teasing you about it in the morning.
When he stares straight ahead at your ceiling, a fuzzy feeling rises in his chest. “I put my star on the ceiling too,” he whispers, knowing you can’t hear him, but feeling happy nonetheless.
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Huddled up under Jay’s jacket, you sit on the half wall outside the football house with Chaewon, watching as Jeno blows smoke from his super king over his shoulder. Though given the way that the wind blows it back in your faces, the two of you may as well have taken him up on his offer to share. 
Letting Chaewon rest her head on your shoulder, you take a sip of your drink and feel thankful to the version of you from five minutes ago who let Jay fill your cup with lemonade instead of vodka. The two of you laugh along with Jeno until you see Yunjin rushing out of the double doors and into the garden. 
“Is there anything wrong with my outfit?” she asks, giving the three of you a twirl so you can check and mumbling a “thank you” to Jeno who reaches his arm out to stop her from falling over in the process. 
Yunjin’s outfit looks fine. At first. Until you notice the massive hole in the left side of her skirt; the sight of which leaves you and Chaewon wiping tears of laughter. Through cackles and a slight stomach ache, you manage to ask what happened. 
“I got caught on something, like, an hour ago, and I wasn’t hurt or anything so I forgot about it, and then I went out front and felt the craziest breeze on my thigh and I looked down and.. half of my skirt is just.. missing,” she explains, pausing only to take a draw from Jeno’s cigarette. “Does it look intentional at least?” 
You almost choke on your drink when Chaewon suggests using her acrylics to make an identical hole on the side, telling her to market the holes as “cutouts” and try selling it on Depop. 
“Vintage, Y2K, I.AM.GIA, Destiny’s Child, Britney Spears,” she says, although she’s had so much to drink that it all comes out as one word. “Don’t laugh at me, write it down! Babe, quick, take pictures!” 
Yunjin poses dramatically while Jeno takes product photos on her phone, and in the space between them, through the double doors, you see your boyfriend standing next to the dining table, his friends laughing around him while he stares over in your direction with a sweet smile on his face. 
And even though you can’t say for sure, you’re just glad that here, tonight, you have a pretty good idea of why Park Jongseong’s smiling at you.
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© zreamy (2023), all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or plagiarise my work. do let my know your thoughts !
permanent taglist: @asahicore
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hanniluvi · 1 month
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BITTERSWEET DELUSIONS — JAY ONESHOT
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— you still exist in jay’s world. you’re still here, he believes, yet he doesn’t want to face the real truth. you’ll still stick with him, right?
pairing ⋆ 𖦹 ‧ best friend!jay x best friend!fem reader
(_ _ ) . . z Z % genre : angst, best friends to ???
warnings : mentions of diagnosis of disorder
feat. ᥫ᭡ : jake (enhypen) | word count : 1.4K (1408 words)
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 — no way, soph is going on a posting streak??? only the proofreaders remember this fic 🙏 LMAO idk why i didnt post this sooner — i kinda forgot about it and would always scroll right past it in my drafts (or i never see it cause i dont scroll that far down) this has been stuck in drafts since may 25 2023 😊 BUT this is finally released !
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"Whoever loses has to buy lunch for the other person!" Your words echoed as you sprinted along the sidewalk. Glancing behind, you noticed Jay's bewildered expression while you dashed ahead. The black cat keychain swung side to side with each stride you took.
"That's not fair! You started running first!" Jay remarked, observing your increasing distance with a smirk. As usual, he swiftly caught up, transitioning from being far behind to directly trailing you. His sudden voice surprised you, causing a gasp to escape your lips.
"How did you—?" Before you could finish, Jay leaped onto you, causing both of you to tumble onto the ground. Instead of getting upset, laughter erupted from both of you. Clutching your sides and still pinned beneath Jay, you playfully nudged him aside.
Feigning offense, Jay's expression elicited more laughter from you. He smiled, captivated by your radiant smile and how you wiped away tears of joy. He wished he could witness this pretty sight every day.
"Shall we start over?" you proposed, smirking once more.
Beep Beep.
Jay's eyes shot open, startled by the sudden sight. He gasped for air, his heart racing. Anxiously, he fumbled for the towel placed beside his bed, using it to dab away the sweat clinging to his forehead. Tossing it back in place, he sat on the edge of the bed, feeling a sense of emptiness wash over him.
Oh how he could wish he could start over with you.
With groggy eyes, he tries to make out the numbers on his digital clock.
9:15 AM.
He sighed, rubbing his eyes. He had another dream about you, a bittersweet one. Or, should he call it a nightmare? Every time he dreams about you, a wave of guilt crushes over him, even if it’s not his fault. Staring at the blank expanse of his white wall, he reluctantly rose to begin his day.
Jay made his way to the bathroom, methodically rolling up his sleeves. As he turned on the tap, he cupped his hands to splash water on his face, revitalizing his senses. Wiping the water off his face, he noticed a new notification on his phone. Curiosity piqued, he glanced at the screen to find a text from Jake, compelling him to click and read the message.
“You wanna meet up?”
Grasping his phone, Jay contemplated his response. After thoughtful consideration, he finally typed out his reply, observing the words before hitting send: "Sure, where?" Suddenly, with a plan to hang out and no longer a day filled with nothing, a sigh of relief escaped his lips. Placing his phone on the counter, he resumed his morning routine, knowing that today held a purpose.
Running a comb through his hair, he meticulously arranged each strand, allowing them to gracefully cascade across his face.
It's a hairstyle you adored on him, often playfully brushing the strands away and commenting on how handsome he looked.
As he selects his attire, he opts for a simple combination of beige pants and a brown cardigan, a wistful sigh escaping his lips.
The colors hold a special significance, reminiscent of the times you praised how well they suited him. In an attempt to hold onto a piece of your presence, he chooses to wear lighter shades day after day.
Preparing to leave the house, he reaches for his cologne, spritzing a few times with a bittersweet smile.
Jay recalls how you held strong opinions about his fragrance choices, finding some too subtle and others too overpowering. However, this particular scent held a special place in your heart, and he remembers the joy it brought you. Since you mentioned it, he always made sure to keep that bottle in his possession, a subtle gesture made solely for you.
Exhaustion engulfed him, as the burden of the world settled upon his shoulders, relentlessly crushing his spirit. The weight of it all became insurmountable, rendering him a prisoner within the confines of his own room.
Every breath felt like a futile struggle, an agonizing reminder of the impossibility of escape from the torment inflicted by your absence.
Ignoring his thoughts, Jay steps outside his house, a rush of nostalgia flooding his senses as he inserts earbuds into his ears. The gentle caress of a fresh breeze momentarily grants him a fleeting sensation of freedom, but it quickly gives way to a surge of overwhelming emotions.
Each stride feels burdened, as if his body rebels against venturing into a world that still echoes with your memory, causing a subtle frown to etch upon his face. It serves as a constant reminder of the connection he once shared, amplifying the weight of your disappearance.
Despite knowing deep down that you wanted something better for him, Jay finds himself trapped in the inability to move on. He's trying with all his might, and today is no exception.
As he crosses the bustling streets, a soft, melancholic melody seeps through his earbuds, the gentle beats mirroring the fragments of you slipping away, gradually causing him to lose himself in the process. The sidewalks grow increasingly crowded, forcing Jay to navigate through the swarm of people, squeezing his way past them in a bid to move forward.
Placing his earbuds back into their case, he retrieves his phone and scrolls through his contacts until he finds Jake's name. With a mix of anticipation, he dials the number and brings the phone to his ear, the ringing echoing on the other end. His gaze scans the surroundings, desperately searching for any sign of his best friend's familiar presence.
Amidst the sea of faces, Jay's eyes lock onto a figure in the distance, stirring a glimmer of hope within him. Squinting, he desperately tries to discern the features, momentarily believing it to be Jake. But as he looks again, his heart sinks. It's not Jake; it's someone else entirely. Yet, their back, the way they stand, the clothes they wear—everything resembles you, frozen in time since the day you vanished. His eyes widened in disbelief, momentarily forgetting the call with Jake.
It was you.
There was no denying that that black keychain was yours, you guys had matching ones.
He could spot it anywhere, he knows.
Igniting an urgent determination, Jay pushes through the crowd, disregarding the pleas of his best friend on the other end of the line. He runs closer, his voice cracking as he calls out, desperately pleading for people to clear a path, oblivious to their bewildered gazes and startled reactions.
All that matters in that moment is the possibility of finding you, of reuniting, even if just for a fleeting second.
“Y/N!”
No response.
“Y/N!”
No response still. Just you moving farther and farther from him.
Farther.
and Farther.
He's on the verge of reaching you, his heart pounding in his chest, but among the overwhelming crowds flooding the streets, he loses sight of you. A rasping cough escapes his throat, his vision blurred by tears, and the last glimpse he ever catches is of your retreating back.
All he could see was your keychain, swinging from side to side. But this time, he couldn’t chase after you.
He can’t see your face again, can’t hear your laugh again, and can’t hear you request for another race.
You had won.
You had finally won the race.
So, why do you keep leaving him?
Why can't you simply return and reassure him that everything will be alright?
“Jay? Jay, listen to me.” a voice pierces through the haze, calling him back to reality.
He lifts his gaze from the black cat keychain in his hand, finding his psychologist looking at him with a gentle smile.
Confusion mingles with emptiness as he sits in the suffocating confines of a small room, engaging in a conversation he has no desire to partake in.
"Where's Y/N?" he finally manages to utter, his voice tinged with desperation, causing a slight frown to crease the psychologist's brow.
"She's not here anymore, Jay," the psychologist responds, and an irritated expression flickers across Jay's face, disbelief etched in his features.
"No, she is. She's still here!" he insists, his voice growing louder, his anxiety showing up with his bitten, peeled lips. "You just don't understand!" He confronts his helper with a mix of aggression and frustration, seeking validation.
“She’s going to come back. I just saw her earlier—even though she disappeared before I could talk to her, I know she’ll come back to see me.”
His psychologist sighs, holding onto their clipboard. Clicking onto their pen, they swiftly scribbled the words:
Delusional Disorder.
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ENHA PERM TAGLIST (1) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @haruavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @ml8dy @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @hyeosi @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @isoobie @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz
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rosesbxrry · 1 year
Text
Present
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Pairing: Boyfriend! Jay X Girlfriend! Fem! Reader
Genre: Smut🔞(Minors DNI), established relationship! AU, Rich kids! AU
Warnings: Dom! Jay, unprotected sex (wrap it up before you tap it), fingering under the table, teasing, dirty talking, cream pie, Jay calls the reader ‘slut’ once, orgasm denial, praising, cunnilingus, Jay has a monster cock in this, bathroom sex. Hopefully I didn’t miss out anything else.
Summary: On Christmas Eve every year, the Parks will host a dinner party to celebrate the special occasion. You had been busy co-hosting the event; leaving a deprived Jay wanting you more than ever— even if it meant loosing a present from you for breaking a promise.
A Holiday Special: ➜ Jay
| ➜ Heeseung | ➜ Jake | ➜ Sunghoon |
Main masterlist
Word count: 4,015 words
a/n: This took be longer than normal to write 😭 because I’m currently in my home town visiting my relatives for Christmas! Happy Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone and I hope you enjoy Jay’s holiday special fic 🎄
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Every year on Christmas Eve, the Park family would host a dinner party in one of their many mansions to celebrate the special occasion. It was known around the socialite circle that the annual event was highly sought after, which you understood, knowing that the Park's elevated hierarchy in the pyramid meant those who attended were huge in the scene.
Mrs Park was no other than the mastermind behind it all, being in charge of organising and curating a guest list deemed prestigious enough to be invited. As if you weren't lucky enough to be invited every year, you had the privilege of helping her in the process and were the first to be designated co-host ever since the event's birth.
To many people, this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be honoured for managing such an esteemed social gathering. Still, it was unhinged and expected that you'd take over the responsibility in the future, being the girlfriend to the Park’s only son.
"Miss Hostess, "Jieun, your best friend, teased as she approached you. After standing and greeting all the guests formally for so long— seeing her made you sigh in relief, relaxing your stiff shoulder, which you didn't realise.
"You don't know how glad I am to see you." You greeted her back. She laughed at your distressed face, handing you a glass of champagne which you took gratefully.
"Come on, girl. You did such a good job with everything!" She reassured you. "Believe me. I can't even do half of the shit you manage to pull."
You laugh at her, reaching out to touch your champagne glass together before you take a drink of the sweet liquor. Your eyes darted to the main venue of the place, watching all the effort built over the past few months surrounded by people that married in the area.
Christmas was a holiday that was perfectly themed for formal parties without overdoing things, and you couldn't count how many compliments you'd gotten from guests about it. As much as you want to pat yourself on the back, you can't take all the credit for yourself.
"I'm glad Jay's mom was there with me. I wouldn't have gone through with this without her help." You said.
"Speaking of Jay," Jieun raised her eyebrow in question. "Have you talked things out with him about the thing?"
You shook your head, swirling the champagne glass aimlessly.
"I— no, I haven't. I couldn't find the right timing yet." You confessed, letting an unintended sigh escape your lips. Jieun gave you a comforting yet pitied look, patting your back to ease the tension.
The thing in question was what you feared would happen further into your relationship with Jay.
Falling in love with Jay wasn't on your agenda; coming from a vulgar family that climbs the social stratum through new money that constitutes their wealth. Somehow through mutual connections, flirtatious exchanges and romantic rendezvous, you had won the heart of the most desired marriage candidate in the whole social stratification.
It was naive of you to hope that your relationship with him would be kept under public scrutiny and from those stupid tabloids. But, once the sensational headlights plastered on the pieces of paper got out, declaring Park Jay to be in a relationship, you had to face an overnight shift that exasperated into being labelled as his Cinderella.
You wouldn't have taken offence if it weren't for the word being an innuendo to describe the ostentatious gap of elitism. Yes, you weren't in Jay's level of wealth, but you wouldn't see yourself as a pauper either, which makes the whole ordeal cretinous at best.
Call it cliche or cheesy, but you and Jay have agreed that only love will govern the bond; establishing a conventional boyfriend-girlfriend relationship was important for both of you to grow as a genuine loving couple.
However, not everything can work in your favour.
In upper-class elite society, arranged marriages among the children of well-established families ensue for beneficial exchanges through the marital union. Of course, being in your position in their point of view, you had nothing to offer towards the Park family.
After years of dating with no potential courting news, you could feel the prying eyes of both the media and the upper social class. You weren’t going to lie and say you didn’t feel on edge about the pressure, mainly towards the heiress that always seemed to poke their nose with whatever they could salvage.
In their eyes, love is the greater cause of happiness but is a luxury they can’t effort to buy. In the end, money never ruins your mascara which is why they were grappling on the tether of hope that one day, the both of you would split.
You did not doubt Jay unconditionally, but you were human as well; a threat that could leave you undesirable in consideration for resources you lacked had been gnawing yourself-worth which you had occupied with the workload in making the Christmas dinner party possible.
In the end, you found safety in the confinements of Jieun about the brewing uneasiness you felt.
"I don't know," You sighed, searching your friend's face for an answer. "Maybe this whole thing would go away at one point. I think I'm overreacting to it.”
Jieun bit her lower lip, feeling hopeless about how to help you, but she gave you one soft look. "Still, I think you should at least talk to Jay about it."
"Talk about what with me?"
Speaking of the devil himself. The both of you turn towards the direction of the familiar voice; the sight of Jay walking your way had your heart pumping at the thought that he might have eavesdropped on the conversation you had with Jieun.
He wore his signature devilish smirk, a neat black suit tailored perfectly to his figure while the colour of the necktie matched with the couture dress you adorned. He stops to stand beside you, his arms wrapping around your waist smoothly with fingers moving to caress the curve.
"I thought I came here to save my damsel in distress, but it seemed like I was beaten to it." He joked, causing you to roll your eyes back and nudge his ribs teasingly.
"Better luck next time, lover boy." Jieun crossed her arms, a smug smirk plastered on her lips while shrugging her shoulder. "I guess my love for Y/N is untouchable to yours."
Jay mirrored her expression nonchalantly. "Maybe you should spare some for your poor husband right there." He gestured with his chin to a man at the far end of the grand lobby. "He looks like he could use some with the way he's chugging that bottle down."
Jieun turned rapidly that you didn't need to see her face to see the frustration plastered at the sight of her husband downing a glass bottle of liquor with a nervous server trying to stop him politely.
"Seriously? I told him to lay off the alcohol," She sighed exhaustively while massaging the pressure points of her temple, waving her hand to signal her departure. "I'll see you guys later during the dinner slate while I handle that idiot over there."
You wave back at her, one hand holding onto Jay’s forearm as he escorts you out of the grand lobby towards the dining hall through a secret corridor; you raise a curious eyebrow at him as the surrounding turns secluded; only you and him and the white noise coming from the guests afar.
"What are you doing, Park Jongseong?" You laughed as he backed you up against a wall; his hands found their way around your waist as you held onto his shoulder blades at the proximity.
"This is a kidnapping." You quip.
He broke into a contagious grin, leaning close that you feel his breath fanning the high points of your cheeks. "So I can't have a moment alone with my busy girlfriend?"
He leans down to kiss you on the lips, and you let out a breath at the moreish taste of his mouth against yours. You were glad you wore a transfer-proof lipstick, or not, you would have to break the lovely intimacy for public decency after reluctantly.
"I promised you, didn't I?" You said once he releases your lips. "That we'll elope together after all of this is done tomorrow, and you'll get to have me in any way possible."
"Any way possible, hm?" He teased, feeling the feather-like touches of his fingers running up your bare leg where the slit of your dress was located that you instinctively hitch a breath at the touch, goosebumps forming on the skin.
"Is that my Christmas present?" He asked sweetly, his voice an octave lower.
You gave him a slight smirk, patting his chest to give him a wake-up call. "If you behave well and keep your third leg in check until the event ends, then maybe I'll consider."
He clicked his tongue in dissatisfaction.
".....Fine." He sighed after a few seconds of sullen pause. It wasn't the end until he stole a peck at your lips, a satisfied smile on his face that you poked him on the stomach at how sneaky he was.
You did feel bad for him; the busy schedule the both of you experienced until the event was dreadful, and you didn't blame him for being too agitated, which says a lot since he had always been a patient man. However, you couldn't abandon your responsibility as a host, even though you want him as badly as he wanted you.
The evening kickoff with eloquent meals in the dining hall with sitting arrangements done to accommodate guests that attended to enjoy each other's company. Jay busied himself with Sunghoon and Jake in a deep conversation about the newest business venture beside you while you entertained Jieun and the other girls about their pursuits.
You didn't flinch when Jay placed his hands on your thighs under the table, hidden behind the excess white cloth that drapes over the edge. You didn't think much of it, reaching to drink a sip of champagne when his hands slowly drew closer to the inner section.
What game was he up to?
The side eye you gave him was ignored, and you didn't know if he was playing with you with how engrossed he was in the conversation.
That was until you almost knocked over the candlelit decoration with your elbow when he slipped past the slit on your dress until warm fingers made contact with the outer lips of your folds.
In a tight dress you wear right now for special occasions, you would opt to wear a thin tong so that your undergarments won't protrude. You didn't expect it to backfire on you at this moment as Jay easily pushed away the string and started caressing your cunt with two fingers.
Clamping your thighs together was in vain, forcing yourself to listen to the girls talking about something random, but, the pleasure was starting to make you lose your vicinity, only hearing muffled laughter and blurry vision.
You grab Jay's wrists to slow down his movement or warn him not to go any further. Wetness starts to pool on your folds, and with a quick motion, his thick fingers spread it along your pussy line before sliding his pointer finger into your hole.
The way the digit curled inward slightly caused you to bite hard on your lower lip to muffle the moans threatening to escape. A small knot was building in your stomach, wishing he’d move faster and rougher, but the fear of getting caught by the people around you was still evident in your consciousness.
A slight smirk curled on the corner of Jay's lips.
He didn't need to look at you to know that you were crumbling; he could feel your walls clenching around his finger while he agonisingly moved in and out of your slit. Jake's rambling didn't register in his mind as his thoughts were overflowing with how tight and wet your cunt was that he wished it was his hard cock in you instead.
You jerked forward when he inserted another finger to stretch you out; a little moan you let out managed to catch Jieun's attention.
"Y/N? Are you okay?" She asked you worriedly, your figure hunched slightly on the edge of your seat. With a cold sweat, furrowed eyebrows and flushed cheeks, you might have looked constipated in her eyes, but you managed to give her a tight smile underneath the pleasure you were feeling.
"I—I"m fine...." You breathe out when Jay finally slips his fingers out; an unpleasant heat settles at the bottom of your stomach. You weren't sure what was worse; being unable to reach your release or getting a couple of worried glances your way.
"I think—I need a breather." You declare, pushing a few strands of loose hair behind your ear before bracing yourself to stand up from your seat. The chair beside you creaks back, Jay's hands finding their way around your waist to aid you in your endeavour.
"Don't worry," He assured Jieun. "I'll take care of her. We'll be back in a minute."
Your gait was slightly wobbly due to how weak your knees were, leaning your weight on his side as Jay helped you leave out of the public’s eye and into the silent corridor where you let him drag your body to where he desired.
“I’ll take care of her, my ass.” You gritted through your teeth, low under your breath, only for him to hear.
Jay wanted to laugh in amusement, as he does after catching sight of you being a cute mess with what he did, but his own carnal needs urge him to walk faster and open the door to a sequestered bathroom.
“Fuck the present,” He cursed. You watch him remove his jacket, throwing it aggressively on the floor with a dark and glossy gaze. “Nothing can beat how much I want you so bad right now.”
Jay presses his body tight against yours with his hands on your waist, the marbled edge of the sink digging at your back and his raging hard bulge on your abdomen. Your core throb at the thought of his big and girthy cock stuffing your hole, fingers clawing at his shoulders for support when he propels you to sit on the sink’s surface.
“You know, I’ve been holding back from fucking you over the table where everyone can see.” You whimpered as he licked your neck near the pulse, your thighs flush against his hips where he stood towering over your figure between your legs.
“I thought you’ll put up more of a fight,” He teased, hands moving to ride the skirt of your dress up. He groans when you hump against his clothed dick desperately, fingers digging into the back of your thighs. “But you took my fingers so well like a little slut, didn’t you?”
“Jongseong.” You whined, feeling your pussy getting soaked at his words. It didn’t help that the string of your thong was wedged against your sensitive folds every time you moved your hips.
Jay’s chest vibrates when he chuckles. “Look at you. I’ve only used my fingers and you’re already shaking.” He cooed softly as you buried your face in his neck, loving how he was in control of you now.
“I can’t believe your pussy was bare sitting next to me.” He said as you watched him drop to his knee, leaning back on the palm of your hands as you opened your legs wide for him to see. You shudder when he moves the pathetic drenched string to the side.
”To think that this—” He dragged his index finger on your soaked folds, watching your juices drool along his finger with an eager stare.
“and this—” You note how raw he groaned in the end, pulling on the flesh of your outer lips to reveal your swollen clit to him, all pink and perfectly ready to be devoured.
“—could have been in my fucking mouth instead of dinner”, He complained.
You moaned incoherently as he leaned to press his tender lips on the bud, tongue flat on it enough to make you grab a bunch of his silky hair. He swirls his wet tongue up and down your folds in a hungry manner as you open your legs wider. The tension you felt before rekindled in your stomach the more he mouthed your heat sloppily.
“Hmm, feels so good.” You purred, hearing the erotic wet sound of him eating you out echoed in the bathroom.
He hummed against your cunt in satisfaction, your lips spilling out sweet praises fueled him to completely lap at your clenching hole until you were bucking into his face.
Jay looked up from between your legs, watching the way you threw your head back with your eyes closed attentively. You moved your hips to the pace of his tongue, distracted by the high pleasure that you didn’t notice something cold slipping into your ring finger.
“Wait, don’t— I was so close!” You sobbed when he detached his lips from your cunt, a couple of sweat dripping down your temple. You curl your toes, feeling your orgasm again, humming down at the loss of stimulation.
“Slow down, sweetheart.” Jay stood back up, kissing you with your essence still in his mouth, letting you taste yourself as he sucked on your lower lip until your head was spinning.
“I have something far better than my mouth waiting for you.”
He hauled you on your feet before turning you around, bending you over until your chest was flushed on the sink counter with your ass facing him. The sound of his belt clicking open reach your ears; a rough shove of your skirt exposes the way your hole clenches around your arousal in anticipation.
“Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?” He taunts, a hand resting on your waist to steady your lower half. “Stay still, don’t move your hips.”
Jay pumped his cock in his hand, spreading precum on his length before easing into you slowly. You were so deprived of any form of penetration that you writh with just his swollen head stretching your entrance. The more Jay sinks into you, the more he can feel your core pulsate and squeeze around his hot length deliciously.
“Relax, baby. Let me in.” Jay spoke softly, hugging you from behind and intertwining his fingers with yours lovingly, contrasting with how he drilling his cock into you inch by inch.
“I—I know, but—fuck! You’re so big.“ You choked out, winching with every forward push of his hips.
Jay pampered your nape with butterfly kisses, his hair tickling the back of your ear as he whispered closely. “You can take it. You’ve done it before.”
Your grip his fingers once he bottoms out, and your walls spasm over his cock to adjust to his size as you struggle to take all of him. You were a panting mess underneath his body, and an uncomfortable twitch resided in your lower abdomen as you felt him reach your deepest spot.
Jay let out a few filthy words at how tight you were, wanting no more than to thrust his cock to relieve the tension, but he knew you needed some time to adapt for you to feel and enjoy the same pleasure as he does.
“My baby, you did so well. Look how good you take my cock.” His praises, gathering your hair in a bundle to give you some space to breathe.
You swallow down the lump in your throat; the initial discomfort soon fades as waves of pleasure make you buck your hips back to crave more. You felt Jay’s hand return to the space on your waist at the positive gesture.
“Jongseong, you can move.” You breathe out. His grip tightens to brace you with what’s to come, nodding his head at your command.
Jay’s thrusts were delicate initially, slow and sensual for you to feel his engorged cock in a soft rhythm that ignited the butterflies in your stomach. When you let out a stream of lewd moans with every snap of his hips and pushing back against him, he put more strength into his thrust that the sound of flesh smacking drowns the cries you let out.
“Miss this tight cunt in me— fucking hell, you’re sucking me in so well.” He sighs when you tense around his length at a particular spot, wasting no time to repeatedly hit the same place until you are pushed up higher against the marbled surface.
The familiar heated feeling grows viscous in your stomach, legs shaking with every feral movement of his hips with heavy balls slapping your flesh. With the combined stimulation from the previously failed orgasms attempted, you grew more desperate to reach your high.
When he slipped down to play with your swollen clit, a deft finger flicking the pearl back and forth aimlessly, your back arched at the intense pleasure coursing through your body. A flushed heat blooms on your skin, knees weak with white spots starting to appear at the corners of your vision.
“Jongseong, please, don’t stop.” You sob out, the release you need teetering at the edge of your sanity.
“I won’t, baby.” He replied, enamoured with the pleasure of you in his arms. “I’ll stay like this forever until you cum for me, okay?”
He continues with his ministration, one hand holding onto your waist to pound you from behind while the other down your pussy to thumb your clit. With his chest pressed on your back, he bit the outer shell of your ear before whispering.
“Cum for me.”
You didn’t need to be told twice as you came undone on his cock— inundating you with a sense of solace to reach your climax finally. With a few more quick drags of his cock in you, Jay groaned as he filled you up with his thick load, rutting you through your orgasm in a rapt manner that had your toes curling.
You wish the both of you could stay connected like this forever, but reality hits you like a brick when the afterglow of your orgasm finally washes over.
He took your jaw in his hand, craning your neck behind to capture your lips with his; a sloppy wet kiss shared between you two was lethal to your heart at the amount of love he projected.
He pulled out of you once he was done, ropes of his warm cum dripping down your inner thighs.
“Jay,” You call him out, leaning onto your elbows as you wait for him to finish wiping you down before turning around to face him. “You’re fucking crazy.”
He let out a hearty laugh, taking you into his embrace as the both of you had one thing in mind when you left the place looking like this; hair in a frenzy, clothes oddly wrinkled, a light pink tint to the cheeks— you were sure that your lipstick had lost its vivid colour.
“They definitely know we fucked.” You reminded him in embarrassment.
He shakes his head confidently. “Not when they see your engagement ring.”
A sceptical look crosses your face before it morphs into shock and horror when you realise a beautiful golden band with an embellished clear diamond at the centre of your finger. Jay watches you with a sincere expression as you inspect the ring gleaming under the bathroom light.
Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Wha—”
“I might not get a present, but I did get you one. Also, don‘t worry—” Jay rests his forehead against yours, a smug smile on his lips.
“I was on my knee when I slipped it on you.”
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A Holiday Special: ➜ Jay
| ➜ Heeseung | ➜ Jake | ➜ Sunghoon |
3K notes · View notes
jayflrt · 2 years
Text
strawberry lemonade
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❝ praying mantises sound a lot more peaceful than listening to reenactments of fifty shades of grey every other night. ❞
PAIRING ▸ park jongseong x fem!reader
GENRES ▸ smut (minors dni), crack, college au, lowkey pwp but there is plot sorry this was just the jay brainrot acting up
WARNINGS ▸ profanity, sex, slight exhibition kink, fingering, oral (fem. receiving), praise & degradation, pet names because i am a weak woman, sunghoon (fun guy) collects preying mantises??
SUMMARY ▸ you and jay park are bound by fate; or, rather, you're bound by your respective roommates who have obnoxiously loud sex every other night. it's only a matter of time until you give them a taste of their own medicine.
or, revenge is best served with a strawberry lemonade lollipop.
WORD COUNT ▸ 3,482 words
PLAYLIST ▸ lolly by maejor, juicy j, justin bieber • high off you by alayna • candy by doja cat • kickin’ back by mila j
TAG LIST ▸ @msxflower​​ @fiantomartell​​ @baekhyunstruly​​ @mykalon​​ @heelariously​​ @hobistigma​​ @simplyxlea​​ @wntrsgf​​ @person-standing​​ @ja4hyvn​​ @dnyamight​​ @candidupped​​ @shmooooo​​ @pr0dbeomgyu​​ @sunshine-skz​​ @hiqhkey​​ @kp0p10v3r2​​ @baekhyuns-lipchain​​ @jagyuuar​
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ the first modern lollipop was created in 1908. it has been an uneventful 114 years of its creation until a video spread yesterday of park jongseong sucking on one. as a result, user jayflrt woke up in a cold sweat to write this in one sitting. 
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IT WAS A FRIDAY NIGHT.
You were currently reporting a criminal (Kim Minjeong) to the authorities (Lee Heeseung).
To be fair, you weren’t actually reporting your roommate to your apartment floor’s resident advisor. She was at her boyfriend’s apartment today, and you were just venting your frustration from the previous night.
Heeseung was just someone you complained to about these things, but never with the intention of getting anyone in trouble. You knew he was good at keeping secrets, so, unless you said otherwise, he wouldn’t confront the people causing problems. (This, of course, went against his sole responsibility as an RA, but people let that slide because he had a pretty face and baked cookies for everyone on Saturdays.)
You got along with Minjeong very well, actually. Although you two were randomly paired together, you clicked the moment you met in the beginning of the school year. You got locked out of your apartment the first night, and when you texted Minjeong for help, she ended up getting locked out, too. The both of you waited until dawn to get a replacement key, and it marked the beginning of a strong friendship.
The only issue was that Minjeong recently started dating Jake Sim, who happened to be your neighbor. In the first few weeks of school, your entire floor mingled and socialized a lot, so you got along very well with the people around you. Jake and Minjeong seemed to hit it off really well, so it was no surprise that they ended up dating.
However, what was surprising was your roommate’s ability to moan at such high volumes every other night.
“Maybe you should confront her about it,” Heeseung offered. It was a stupid suggestion; you were going to kill him.
“I’ve tried!” you whined. “She said she would be quieter and soundproof her room. Guess what? Egg cartons aren’t doing me any favors!”
“I would not wanna have sex in a room full of egg cartons.”
Before you could retort, there was a knock at Heeseung’s door. You looked at him quizzically. Heeseung was terrible at job, so it didn’t make sense for anyone to actually come for help. When he opened the door, though, it all made sense.
Jake’s roommate and your group therapy partner, Jay Park.
In the beginning of the year, you and Jay didn’t get to talk much. You, of course, took notice of him (because it was hard to ignore good-looking men), but neither of you made the effort to become friends. He intimidated you at first, and it was probably because of his sharp features and piercing gaze. The only things that softened his image for you were his classic strawberry lemonade Jolly Rancher lollipops. He should seriously be sponsored by the company; you had seen him sucking on the candy at least once a day.
Naturally, you two got closer after your respective roommates started seeing each other. This wasn’t because you naturally gravitated toward each other or anything. You both would just find yourselves running to Heeseung’s room to complain about your situations, and you both developed mutual sympathy.
It was fun getting to hang around Jay, though. If you had a second chance, you would have tried to actively befriend him before, but you weren’t mad with how things ended up.
“You know, I should’ve fucking roomed with Sunghoon instead,” Jay spat, storming into Heeseung’s room with an unwrapped strawberry lemonade Jolly Rancher lollipop in his fist. He angrily tore the wrapper off and shoved it into his mouth. “One minute I’m writing my history paper, and next I hear the second coming of Christ from Jake’s room. Do those two have the sex drive of bonobos?”
(“You’ve been watching Planet Earth again, haven’t you?” you inquired, recalling him watching rerun episodes in the common room while he was high off his ass.
Jay shot you a glance. “None of your business, Y/N.”)
“I thought you said you would rather die than room with Sunghoon,” Heeseung said.
You frowned. “Park Sunghoon? What’s wrong with him?”
“He collects praying mantises,” Jay explained. “Fun guy, but it’s a bit terrifying.”
“Praying mantises sound a lot more peaceful than listening to reenactments of Fifty Shades of Grey every other night,” you muttered. “Is Sunghoon taking roommate applications?”
“You guys just need to drive them out or something,” Heeseung suggested. “Maybe give them a taste of their own medicine.”
The three of you fell silent for a moment, processing Heeseung’s words.
If you were understanding him correctly, there was a clear sexual undertone in his words—hell, it was hardly considered an undertone with how overt it sounded. You weren’t sure what Jay was thinking about, but Heeseung’s suggestion led you to think of you and Jay having obnoxiously loud sex to get back at your roommates. The very thought made your cheeks burn.
You were 100% sure that Jay would not be on board with this idea. It was absurd to even think about having sex with him for the sake of leveling out the playing field. Plus, you would be crazy if you thought that Jay would want to sleep with you in the first place.
This was when you deemed it proper to obliterate Lee Heeseung.
“That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” you replied.
“Heeseung, you’re a genius,” Jay said at the same time.
So maybe you and Jay were not, in fact, on the same page.
You both looked at each other, both confused for different reasons. You were gaping at him like an idiot, and he was looking at you like you were crazy for refusing. Heeseung, meanwhile, was just glad that his suggestion was 50% accepted.
“D-doesn’t that mean we’d have to, um… have sex?” you asked, trying your best not to stammer as you spoke.
Jay laid his cards out flat. “We have fake sex.”
Now, you and Heeseung were completely lost. You being confused was one thing, but Heeseung being confused about his own plan was another thing.
“Fake sex?” Heeseung spoke up. He narrowed his eyes, trying to make sense of what Jay was saying before he shook his head. “You know what? Nevermind. You two should leave and figure it out yourselves. I’d rather not be part of this conversation, so go decide amongst yourselves if you’re gonna have… fake sex, or chill with Sunghoon’s preying mantises or whatever.”
“C’mon, you don’t wanna hear about our faux sexcapade?” Jay teased, but Heeseung was already pushing you two out the door. “I guess that’s a no,” he said as the RA closed the door on their faces. Jay turned back to you with newfound confidence. “So, fake sex!”
You raised a brow, staring at his lips because you were a whore. He was so close that you could detect the faint scent of his strawberry lemonade lollipop.
“What exactly does fake sex entail?”
“You know, pretending we’re having sex so that they get the message and start shutting the fuck up,” Jay explained. “All you have to do is moan like you’re having the time of your life.”
Jay’s room was a few doors down the hall. You two were far too close to actually putting this plan into action. You hated admitting it, but it was actually a solid plan; you were sure that Minjeong and Jake would get the message if they experienced what it was like to be in your shoes. Plus, they were in Jake’s room right now, so it was the perfect opportunity for you and Jay to teach them a lesson.
You didn’t have any reason to say no. There was nothing cheesy holding you back like the fear of ruining your friendship with Jay. In fact, you had always thought Jay was insanely attractive, especially when he was sucking on that lollipop of his. Even though this was a sham, you were probably being given the opportunity of a lifetime.
“Are you totally sure about this?” you asked. “You really think they’re gonna be quieter if we do this?”
“I’m positive.”
This was the stupidest idea of your life. You supposed it didn’t matter, though, considering you were pretty stupid anyway.
“Fine,” you agreed. “Let’s do it.”
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After more discussion and preparation for your scheme, you and Jay found yourselves in his room thirty minutes later. You had never been with him in his room alone before, and it was a little pathetic that your first time visiting was to partake in a fake sex ploy. His room was surprisingly neat and tidy, though, but you realized that it was probably because Jake always nagged him to clean.
Just as you thought, the muffled sounds from Minjeong and Jake were audible as they were a wall away. You were genuinely impressed that their stamina didn’t let up. It had been a long time since you had hooked up with someone, but you were certain you wouldn’t be able to last that long.
When you looked at Jay, he gave you a silent gesture to commence the plan.
You balked, feeling embarrassed already. Taking a deep breath, you steeled your nerves. You had to commit to the role if you wanted to succeed. You weren’t sure if you could take yourself seriously, but, willing your voice not to go shaky, you let out an exaggerated cry.
“Oh, Jay!” you moaned out. “You’re so fucking big!”
“Chill. You sound like a Euphoria character.”
“I have to Maddy Perez it up if I want them to take the hint!” you whispered back, harsher than you intended, but Jay received the message well.
“F-fuck! You’re so wet.” Jay’s voice broke at the end, immediately covering his face with his hand. You snorted, trying not to break into a fit of laughter, and Jay shot you a threatening look. He was failing miserably, though, because his face was completely red. “God, you’re so… tight?” Jay groaned into his hands. “I’m gonna kill myself.”
“Louder,” you instructed. “Bolder.”
“It’s embarrassing!”
“It was your idea!” You tutted and got on top of his bed, kneeling on one of the pillows. “Watch this: Jay—oh!—you’re so fucking hot! Keep fucking me like that!”
The plan was definitely working. You were hearing less sounds from Jake’s room, and their moans were definitely dying down. When you looked back at Jay to see if he understood your little lesson, you were surprised to see that he was redder than ever.
“You know, I think you’re better at this than I am,” Jay said, “even if you do sound kind of stupid.”
“Hey!” you exclaimed. “You have to milk the performance to get them to shut up, you know?” You turned back to face the wall that separated Jay and Jake’s room, crying out, “Fuck! Jay, give it to me!”
“You sound so fake.”
You scowled. “You’re not even helping!”
“You want my help?” Jay hummed, walking over to you. “Yeah, let’s make this act more believable.”
Before you could respond, Jay slid his hand between your legs and started rubbing the apex of your shorts. You gasped at the sudden contact, feeling your knees buckle under you. Jay slid his free arm around your waist and slid his hand under your shirt to feel you up. Even with his thumb planted on your clothed clit, you were still trying to process what the fuck had just happened.
“Why’re you so quiet all of a sudden?” Jay asked. “Shouldn’t you be moaning? Keep it going, Y/N. You were so good at sounding like such a slut earlier.”
You were getting more and more wet, and you were sure Jay noticed it, too. His rubbing turned from teasing to fervent, and before you knew it, he had pushed you down on his bed and started pulling down your shorts. Well, rather, you started taking them off yourself and let him help you.
“What do you want me to do?” he asked, gripping your thighs as he eyed the thin fabric of your underwear. “You’re the star actress here, so you decide. Fingers or mouth?”
You eyed the strawberry lemonade lollipop that was still in his mouth. “Both?”
Jay chuckled. “You really are needy, aren’t you?”
Taking the sweet out of his mouth, he placed it on top of the wrapper on his desk. You thought he would just throw the whole thing away, but you supposed your neighbor didn’t like being wasteful.
Jay practically tore your underwear off, immediately planting his thumb on your clit and rubbing small, precise circles around the ball of nerves. You were whimpering under his touch, screwing your eyes shut when he bent down to lick a long stripe along your folds.
He pulled away to plunge two fingers into your soaking cunt, pleased with how your walls were contracting around his digits. Although, Jay was still unsatisfied by your lack of volume, so he started sucking on your clit as he scissored his fingers inside of you.
“O-oh my god—fuck!” you cried out, immediately slapping a hand over your mouth right after a moan tore itself from your throat. Closing your eyes, you continued to let out muffled moans with your hand blocking the sounds.
Jay was clearly not satisfied with this.
He pulled away with a sigh, tearing you away from the building orgasm that was yet to release. You felt a bit angry when it dissipated, shooting Jay a dirty look. All he did, though, was smirk at your reaction, and that made you feel more flustered.
You supposed it was his way of making it up to you, but Jay ducked his head down to move in for a kiss. He sealed his lips over yours, kissing you slowly and deepening it with each passing second. It grew more hot, languid, and messy, and your tongues were both desperately sliding against each other.
His lips were so warm and soft against yours. It was if you were under a spell when they were pressed to yours, making you lose all sense of control. All you could do was wrap your arms around his neck and draw him closer. You threw your leg around his hip, aching for more contact, more friction.
When Jay pulled back for air, he chuckled lowly. “What’d that taste like?” he asked.
You licked your lips before answering shyly, “Strawberry lemonade.”
He smiled and kissed you again, this time slower and more passionate. You closed your eyes and held his cheek as his lips moved in perfect unison with yours. You had been kissed before, but never like this. Something about Jay was so intoxicating in the very way he carried himself, and now, you felt weak at his very touch.
He pulled away to ghost his lips down the column of your neck. “Want me to fuck you?”
You whined, tugging at the front of his shirt. Every nerve in your body was screaming for him to just touch you all over and split you apart.
“That’s not enough, doll.” He mocked a pout, feigning sympathy. “Use your words. You were all talk before I started touching you, hm? What happened to that?”
“Jay,” you whimpered.
“Yes?”
“I… I want you to fuck me.”
“Louder,” he mocked, grinning at you. “Bolder.”
You whined. “Just fuck me already!”
Seemingly satisfied, Jay started unbuttoning his pants, yanking them down and kicking them off from where they pooled at his ankles. You sat up to peel off your shirt as he scoured through his nightstand for condoms. When he found one, he used his teeth to open the wrapper, taking the rubber out and sliding it onto his cock with a few pumps.
He was nothing short of impressive. You were already weak at the sight of his rippling abs and the mouthwatering size of his cock. His ego was inflating higher and higher when he caught sight of you drooling over him.
“Lay down,” he instructed. “You asked me to give it to you earlier, so you’re gonna take every single inch of me.”
Your heartbeat was going crazy—both of them.
When you were flat on his bed, Jay got over you and started pressing open-mouthed kisses along your neck and collarbone. You whimpered, sliding your hand into his hair for leverage, but that hardly helped when he slipped his hand under your bra to grope your chest.
He pulled his hand away to reach behind you, undoing the clip of your bra with one snap. You were honestly jealous; you couldn’t even undo your own bra that quickly.
Once you discarded your bra, tossing it to the floor along with the rest of your clothes, Jay started leaving hot kisses around your nipple. Then, he sucked on your hard nipple itself, leaving you a moaning mess while heat pricked your skin.
“You wet enough for me?” he mumbled against your skin.
You nodded, and oh god, you were dripping for him. “Please, please, please just give it to me.”
Jay pushed himself inside of you, and the simultaneous moans that fell from both of your lips was almost beautiful. He held your hips firmly and rubbed slow circles with his thumb as he eased himself inside of you, adjusting to the tight squeeze of your cunt. You cried at how tight you were, digging your nails into his back and burying your face in his shoulder.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he grunted. “For real, this time.” (You despised how he had to specify that.)
Jay bottomed out inside you, and the feeling of his cock filling you up left tears welling up in your eyes. Unexpectedly, Jay immediately wiped at your tears and pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, whispering a sweet apology as he waited for you to adjust to his length.
“O-oh fuck—right there,” you begged once his cock hit that perfect spot right under your cervix.
“Here?” he asked, thrusting in and out of you to get to that sweet spot again.
There must be nothing Jay couldn’t do because he found it almost immediately, taking your choked sob as a sign that he struck gold. The bed creaked and shook as Jay tried to find a proper rhythm, and you were starting to forget your original reason for being here as you moaned and sobbed under him. His thrusts were so purposeful and precise, intending to make you see stars as he pinned you down and fucked you into the mattress.
You babbled something incoherent—something about how close you were, but you were sure Jay picked up on the message by how your legs were starting to shake.
“Come on, sweetheart,” he cooed into your ear, “give it to me.”
Your orgasm was blinding. The preamble of heat blooming under your skin was hardly enough to prepare you for the intense pleasure that started coursing through your body. You were drowning in a sea of molten lava, hardly able to ground yourself as Jay fucked you through your orgasm. He had to grip your hand to remind you that you were still with him, still in the bedroom in his apartment.
Your cunt must have been pulsing around his cock too tightly in the meanwhile because Jay reached his high, too, cumming inside you with a little groan. He sighed, relieved, and pulled out of you so that he could toss out the condom.
“You okay?” he asked, pushing your hair back when you seemed to have recuperated. “You were so, so good for me.”
“Do… do you think we were loud enough?” you asked in a small voice. This couldn’t be part of the act, but you were still scared that Jay would pretend nothing happened.
He snorted. “I think they left a long time ago when I actually started fucking you.” He shifted so that he was holding you in his arms, spooning you and letting his breath tickle your neck. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to make a move on you for a while now.”
“You have?”
“Yeah, but it was kinda hard when Heeseung was always there.”
You giggled, turning to face him. “Maybe you should stop talking about Sunghoon and his praying mantises. That’s not really an effective method to hit on a girl, you know?”
Jay cupped his hand over your mouth. “Shhh,” he silenced you. “I don’t wanna hear it from the girl who needs our incompetent RA to help her with her roommate problems.”
“You do the same thing!” you defended, though your voice was muffled.
“Like I said: shhh.” Jay chuckled. “Plus, now we can just go over to each other’s place when they decide to start going at it like rabbits.”
“You’re right,” you said once you pried Jay’s hand away. “I have one requirement, though.”
“What is it?”
“You’re sharing that strawberry lemonade lollipop next time.”
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heerated · 1 year
Text
FILM — 박종성 !
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ㅤ﹗ ׅ࣪ ✰ # kinktober day five | SEX TAPE .. 🎞️📷
boyfriend!jay x f!reader g. smut, slight fluff
synopsis. jay will be leaving to go on tour soon and he wants to make a sex tape with you so he could watch it when he’s away. warn! established relationship, cursing, unprotected sex (wrap it up y’all), oral sex (female receiving), “good girl” is used, multiple orgasm. wc. 1.3k
kinktober masterlist.
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jay threw a camera beside you on the bed that you two shared, causing you to look up from your phone. you raised your eyebrows at him, confused over what the camera was supposed to be used for. your boyfriend plopped himself beside you, resting against the headboard with both of his arms behind his head. "you know how i'm going on tour in a few days?"
you let out a sigh at his reminder "no need to remind me." jay brought you close by putting his arm around your shoulders, resting your head on his shoulder. he placed a kiss on the top of your head before saying, "it’s okay, baby. i’ll be back soon. but i thought we could maybe try something before i leave?" you lifted your head off his shoulder, staring up at him, waiting for him to continue on.
"could we film us having sex?" he asks, shifting his gaze from you to the camera he tossed on the bed. your eyes widened at his question, "what?! are you serious?" jay looked away to avoid making eye contact with you and fiddled with his thumps in his lap. he shrugged his shoulders and said, "i don’t know. just so i have something to watch while i’m gone. since we can’t do anything, you know..”
"i don’t know, jay. i’ve never done that before." he cupped your cheeks with the palms of his hands and placed a kiss on your forehead "hey. i won’t show it to anyone or let anyone see it, okay? it’ll be just for my eyes only." you looked at him in his eyes, which were soft yet filled with lust at the same time. you nodded to agree to film the sex tape, but you were still nervous about it deep down.
jay removed himself from next to you on the bed and walked to the closet of the bedroom. he pulled out something that looked like a tripod and quickly set up the camera on it, having it point directly towards you. you rubbed the sides of your arms as you watched him continue to set up. he looked up from the camera and noticed you looking anxious. he shot you his beautiful smile to reassure you, which helped you calm down a little bit.
"are you ready?" he asks you. you give him a small nod in response. "okay. then get undressed for me, baby." jay clicked a button on the camera, and a small red dot appears, indicating that he started recording. you began stripping off your clothes as jay walked over to you, towering over you on the bed. once your blouse and pants were removed, he helped you remove your bra, revealing your perfect tits that jay happened to be obsessed with.
you couldn’t help but act shy towards jay’s acts because you knew the camera was recording. yet as soon as his lips touched the skin on your neck, your body relaxed as you let out a small sigh. jay knew your body better than you knew your own. you became so delicate under his touch, wanting him to feel every inch of you.
you felt jay cup both of your breasts in his hands as his lips trailed down from your neck to your chest. he released one hand from your breast to insert his hand in between your legs. you flinched at the sudden contact of his fingers on your heat. he could see how wet you were already, and he whispered, "all wet and ready for me like the good girl you are."
his words along with his touch made you even wetter, and jay could sure feel it. he smirked against your skin before moving down towards the spit in between your thighs. jay was now face to face with your cunt, and you gasped at the feeling of his lips kissing your heat through your panties. his nose rubbed against your clit as he did so, causing you to instantly grip the bed sheets and slightly arch your back.
you glanced at the camera for a second to check if it was still recording, and it was. you looked back down at jay who was already looking back at you. he gripped the sides of your panties, slowly sliding them down your legs. you kept your legs wide to make it easier for him to take them off of you.
jay had successfully removed your panties, giving him a clear view of your cunt glistening from your slick. "your pussy is always so pretty when it’s wet for me." you found your hands making their way into jay’s hair as he connected his mouth to your heat. his tongue slid between your folds, and you were in heaven. his nose nudged your clit as he fucked your hole with his tongue.
your hands gripped at his hair as you felt the familiar knot in your stomach growing stronger and stronger. jay's tongue then moved up to your clit, licking in circles until your legs shook. he gripped your hips to hold you down as your breath started to pick up. you felt yourself getting closer to your high.
"fuck, jay. i'm cumming" you loudly moaned as jay continued to lick your clit as you rode out your orgasm. jay left kitty licks on your heat as you finally caught your breath. he got up from between your legs and got on top of you, leaning down to place a kiss on your lips. you kissed him back as he started to kiss you rough, leaving the sweet taste of you in your mouth.
jay looked back behind him to check the camera, nodding to himself that it was still rolling. you looked down at his pants, noticing the now-formed tent in his crotch. your hands made their way to his belt, unbuckling it and quickly pulling his pants down afterwards. you then assist him in removing his underwear, revealing his hard cock. jay looked down at you with a smirk as he pumped himself a few times before positioning himself at your entrance.
"i’m almost there, jay" you breathed out as he kept a steady pace with his strokes. "m-me too, baby. fuck i can feel you tightening around me." jay’s thrusts began to turn sloppy as he reached closer to his orgasm. you were right there with him before both of you let out moans, reaching your climaxes.
jay kept up with his sloppy strokes before finally coming to a stop, removing himself from inside you as he releases his cum all over your stomach. he fell beside you on the bed, causing you to turn your head to look at him. sweat was dripping down his brow as his chest rose and fell due to his slightly heavy breathing. he turned his head to you, seeing that you were already staring at him, which brought a grin to his face. jay got out of bed and went to the bathroom, quickly returning with a towel to clean you up. as you were cleaning his release off of your body, he walked to the camera and pressed the button again to stop recording.
he walked back over to the bed and laid down beside you again, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling him closer to you, and placing a kiss on your forehead. you snuggled into his body before saying, "i’m going to miss you so much." a sad smile replaced jay’s grin, "i’ll miss you even more. but i promise i’ll be back soon."
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series tglist. ( open! just comment, dm me, or send an ask to be added ) @n-wjns @loves0ft @zeraaax @p34rluv @sweetjaemss @hoondoll @xwonniex @yjjungwon @sunshine-skz @rikakhai @wubbster @sunghoonmybeloved @han8ul @kkurabae @sung5oon @metalchick529 @bwljules @jeondolly @janehrt @iliana26 @sunshinebunbun @lserlover @alternativelix @princesjy @dasa3040 @bunhoons @maggstar
cant be tagged ; @lvrhsngg @greatheartattacks @cha0ticpisces @luredher
perm tglist. ( open! just comment, dm, or send an ask to be added ) @5xiang @jayluvrs @y-eos @zhaixiaowen @hanniecheesecake
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jungwonnz · 7 months
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how can i help you?
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feat jay x reader ; genre fluff, meet-cute ; word count ~1k ; warnings none, not proof-read
you work through another boring shift at a jewellery store. then, a handsome man walks in, looking for help.
note this is something that randomly came to me and i couldn't let go of it, so here i am on tumblr writing about it... any feedback and interaction is appreciated! 🫶
“yunjin! could you please help this lovely lady with measuring her ring size?” you called over to your coworker, as you flashed the woman a smile and rushed off to attend to a pair of new customers waiting for assistance, welcoming them with a “how can i help you?”. yunjin quickly scurried past you, swerving to avoid bumping into you.
you worked at the jewellery store pandora, and, like it always was on any saturday, you guys were packed. so much so that you barely had time (or room) to stand still and breathe for a moment. unfortunately, you and your friend yunjin were left alone to take care of all the customers, which meant that you wouldn’t be getting rest anytime soon.
after a few hours near lunchtime, the numbers dwindled down, and you and your friend slouched over the counter, closing your eyes and enjoying the peace. 
“this is probably the busiest we’ve ever been…” yunjin said, her tone exhausted. “i know right… i don’t think i’ve ever seen this many couples at once,” you replied, adding a “wish it was me…” underneath your breath. yunjin looked at you with a half-smile and patted your shoulder in a way of comforting you.
suddenly, you heard footsteps. you and yunjin scrambled to stand up and look presentable for the new customer, with yunjin suppressing a groan of annoyance. you took her by the shoulders and sat her down on a stool, saying “it’s okay, you rest; i’ll take care of this one.” ignoring her protests, you walked over to see your new customer. “hello, welcome to pandora! may i help…”
your words caught in your throat as the man looked up at you. he was probably the most handsome person you’d seen in… well, basically your entire life. he was dressed in a navy blue polo and beige dress pants, a charming smile and the most attractive jawline you’ve ever seen. 
you didn’t even realise you were staring until you heard yunjin cough loudly from the back of the store. you flinched, startled, and turning to look back at her, you knew she could tell what was going on in your head. “this is your chance!” she mouthed to you, giving you a thumbs up. 
you turned back to the man, wanting nothing more than to know his name, and possibly every other detail about him. “sorry about that… are you looking for anything in particular?” you asked, scratching your neck awkwardly.
he laughed a little at your frazzled state, and said “don’t worry about it. i’m looking for a ring that i can gift my mother for her birthday. could you help me? i want to make this perfect for her.” he said with a smile.
you felt butterflies explode in your stomach. his voice sent shocks through you like electricity, and the fact he came to get something for his mother? “oh, he’s so sweet” was the only thing racing through your mind.
you flew into action. “of course i can! do you know her ring size? does she prefer gold or silver? oh and, what about gemstones? we have plenty of options here…” 
after thirty minutes of looking and trying to find the perfect ring, he finally found it. you clapped happily as he made his decision, complimenting the ring and assuring him his mother would love it. while you packed the box, the man looked at you and said, “thank you so much…” his tone indicated he wanted to know your name. you answered “y/n,” with a giddy feeling. he nodded, “beautiful... y/n, you worked really hard to help me…i appreciate it. i’m jay, by the way."
you offered him a genuine smile and replied quickly, “of course, jay! i really hope your mom likes the ring… i would love to know what she thinks of it,” you finished, stumbling over your words and looking away.
jay picked up on your tone, and grinned while saying, “oh really? how about i give you my number then, and i’ll let you know what she says?”
you almost yelled out loud. “oh, yes, of course! i’d like that a lot!” you managed to choke out, with yunjin practically squealing in the corner.
you watched jay type your name into a new contact with a small heart next to it and you swore you were about to faint on the spot. 
you handed him his package, and thanked him while he told you he looked forward to seeing you again soon. the moment he stepped out of the store, you ran toward yunjin and she hugged you, screaming about what she had just witnessed.
you both jumped up and down like little kids, all your fatigue from before erased. “i told you this would happen! urgh, you should’ve seen the stupid lovesick look on your face… and the way he was flirting with you?! insane, i tell you…” yunjin talked animatedly, waving her hands around to get her point across while you stood there with a wide smile on your face.
later on that day, when you were finally home from your shift and comfortable in bed, your phone lit up.
jay🧐 [11:03 pm]
hi y/n, this is jay!
my mom really liked the ring. she thought it was perfect, and when i told her about the store associate who helped me so much, she told me to definitely thank you.
soo… can i thank you by taking you out to dinner tomorrow?
y/n [11:05 pm]
aww, i’m so glad she liked it 🥰🥰
i would love to go to dinner with you!! i’ll see you tomorrow, then? 
jay🧐 [11:06 pm]
perfect! see you tomorrow :)
unconsciously, you began kicking your feet as you rushed to tell yunjin about the new development in your love life, your happiness evident by the way you were practically beaming.
and soon, you fell asleep with that very same smile on your face, excited to see jay again.
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jaeyunverse · 8 months
Text
the stakes were higher than ever.
your eyes were trained on sakura, gaze laser-focused on the bouquet she was holding in her grip. though your heart was sprinting inside your ribcage, you were barely breathing. your eyebrows were scrunched in determination and pure adrenaline coursed through your veins.
nothing and no one mattered except for the bundle of flowers in sakura’s hands.
“get ready!” she laughed and glanced over her shoulder. “three, two, one!”
you began running even before the countdown ended. your bare feet thudded against the ground, the bridesmaid’s dress your were wearing already bunched up and tied into a knot at your waist.
you weren’t going to let any of the other girls get their hands on the bouquet under any circumstances.
using your elbows to shove the competitors out of your way, you made your way to the front of the small crowd and raised your arms.
lo and behold—the bouquet fell right into your open hands.
a grin immediately tugged at your lips and you turned around to face the guests, the bundle of flowers raised above your head like a trophy.
“that’s how you do it, folks!” you hollered, giving the audience a theatrical bow.
the people acknowledged your victory with a round of applause. on the sidelines, your boyfriend laughed and ducked his head upon receiving teasing remarks from his friends.
the rest of the bridesmaids sulked for a moment before approaching you and congratulating you with a group hug.
little did you know, they never intended to catch the bouquet.
little did you know, they’d unanimously decided to let you have it prior to sakura’s wedding.
little did you know, your partner had orchestrated the entire thing.
little did you know, park jongseong planned to propose you the next day, the diamond ring he’d bought ages ago just waiting to be slipped onto your finger.
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just a little smth i wrote in ten minutes bc watching this video put a HUGE smile on my face :)
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sugarcherriess · 2 years
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Love Spell
[ Pilot!Jay x Fem!Reader ]
Plot - When you and your boyfriend are both succeeding in life, of course you’ll want to settle down and have kids. But maybe tonight it shall only begin and end on your shared relentless breeding kink.
Warnings - Pilot Jay and his horse dong, breeding kink, daddy kink, use of the name mommy but not as a kink, biting, mentions of spit and drool, pet names, age gap but like both are way beyond legal, theres repetition of dialogue because you’ve both lost your minds over each other.
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It was hard dating a pilot, really. Your friends definitely knew– they are the ones who always have to sit through hours upon hours of you complaining about how hard it is to find time to meet Jay or talk to him when he has to be on duty more than he has time to breathe.
But it certainly doesn’t hurt dating a man well respected in his field with years of experience because boy does he treat you well
And there’s also something satisfying about dating a pilot. Because the times when you would need him most and he would take time off work especially for you– those were the days when you had an extra bounce in your step, an extra chirp in your voice, a constant smile on your face.
Like the one you had when you saw him in the audience while you were receiving your diploma. Though his prideful gaze filled your ego quite a bit, you still pestered him to take you out for lunch, then a quick detour to the art gallery, and then dinner, then ice cream.
Finally, after the tiring escapades, you were in the safety of your home and cleaning yourselves up to unwind from the day. Jay shuffling around the room for his things had you taking a moment to assess his beauty. You felt a little embarrassed that you didn’t let him change from his uniform before tugging him around town to celebrate. But the guilt quickly dissipates when the realization of how extremely hot he looks in his uniform settles in.
Which reminds you–
“How do I look? You didn't pass a single comment all day,” mustering up your best pout, you grumble at your boyfriend.
“You look gorgeous,” he tilts his head, a charming smile gracing his soft face when he moves his entire body to face you.
“Gorgeous? Normal person gorgeous or the ‘deity of heaven’ gorgeous?” You coyly ask, wiggling your hips for him.
The fabric jiggles with you, accentuating your ass and thick thighs.
“You look ‘I want to fuck my kids into you’ gorgeous,”
Before you could process the statement, Jay is behind you. His steady arms wrap around your waist to pull you into him. A soft groan emits from his lips as his crotch digs into the crack of your cheeks.
Not giving him time to rub against your ass, you turn around in his hold. A pull to his collar gets him centimeters away from your eyes, lips almost caressing each other’s.
“Maybe that’s exactly what I want you to do?” An eyebrow raises to challenge him.
Jay brushes the tip of your nose with his own, giggling right after.
“So that’s what you’ve wanted all along?” He chuckles, “Is that why you were flashing me your full thighs and your heavy tits in the car, bunny?”
Guilty
An exaggeration of an offended gasp escapes your lips at him calling you out.
“Is it too bad to ask for a graduation present?” You furrow your eyebrows, trying to act like the forsaken puppy you feel like you are.
Jay knows you’re just a brat spoiled rotten.
“You wanna get pregnant as a graduation present?”
Jay tried to hold back his laugh, bless his heart, he really does. But the image of you, a famous child avoider, trying to get him to pound you full of his kids… it’s… something.
You fold your arms across your chest, tapping your foot, waiting patiently for his laughing to subside so you can actually somehow get your man to pounce on you.
Why is it so hard? Oh the horrors of being adorable, tch tch
When he finally detaches his face from your neck you can see the red splashes of colour spread across his cheeks.
“Just because you graduated you think you’re ready to be a mother?” Jay teases as his palms slide up your thighs, taking the hem of the dress with them.
“Yes,” you mewl out.
Who knew trying to get naked would become the most difficult task of your existence like this.
“Hmm,” Jay pretends to think, focusing on a light fixture above your head, “Do you deserve it though?”
“Yes!” You grab his face to make him look at you, “Please,” you’re reduced to whining, “I did so well in all my classes. I passed with flying colours!”
You manage to produce your best pout for him, tears of need and frustration already gathering in your waterlines.
“So?” He dares to raise an eyebrow.
How insufferable
“So I want you to fuck your kids into me, daddy please,” you beg, dragging out the please for good measure.
You’re rewarded with a bite to your cheek and a wet tongue licking it right after.
“I’ll give you what you want, my smart little baby,”
Jay picks you up effortlessly, hands gripping you under your thighs as you wrap your legs around him. More or less gracefully, you fall to your bed. Technically Jay had thrown you on it. You however kept your legs crossed behind his back, bringing him down with you. Jay only finds your clinginess absolutely endearing.
“What if I hit my nose with yours and broke it?” He halfheartedly chastises.
“If I don’t have your cock in me in the next few seconds, my fist will do the job,” you threaten.
Jay gasps and covers his mouth with his hand to tease you some more, undeterred by your feistiness.
“The horror! My own love damaging my face! So quick to action, what will your clit rub against when I eat you out later on?”
You groan at Jay’s relentless fooling around.
“You know what, forget it,” you try to push him off of you, “I realised I was right all along. I don’t need kids. I already have you to give me a migraine,”
Jay grabs your hands trying to shove his chest. A quick giggle precedes his rosy lips kissing your palms.
“Oh no, I’ve annoyed my darling,” It’s Jay’s turn to pout at you, “What ever shall I do?” he asks, rhetorically.
His answer must have come to him in a flash because that’s how quick he’s wrapping his large hands around your calves and bending you in half like a pretzel. You’re eyes pop out of your skull– almost.
“Perhaps.. this?” Is all the warning you get before your flimsy dress is flipped over completely and Jay’s face is buried in your panty-clad cunt.
“Oh, Jay,” a breathless gasp spoken into the air.
A slight spank on your thigh has you hissing.
Jay looks at you from beneath his lashes, gaze intimidating and full of fire. “That’s not the proper way to address me from what I remember?”
He looks so fucking sexy when he’s egging you on to be shameless like this.
“Daddy,” you cry for him, “Please,”
“You always sound so sweet when you beg,”
He kisses along the inside of you thigh, all the way to your apex before switching over to the other. He can practically feel the heat rising from your cunt over his cheek but he pretends not to care.
Turning his entire attention towards your center, all he does is stare while you drench your panties into translucency and your hole clenches and unclenches in anticipation.
A sly finger moves to circle around the opening through the fabric. Experimentally, Jay pushing the tip of his finger in as far as the material would let it invade your weeping cavern.
“Please, more,” your breath catches in your throat trying to speak to him.
Jay sticks his fingers under the center of your painties and pulls it to the side. Then a finger is pushed inside you to the first knuckle. Then he curls it upwards and drags it out slowly, making you sigh. Two more accompany the first finger when he pushes it right back in.
And then he spits right at your hole, watching the way it winks at him begging for his cock.
His pants are shoved just below his ass, full acquaintance-d with your obsession with his uniform and the authority it exudes. He’s your daddy after all. Why won’t he revel in the superiority drive the madness in your eyes gives him, when he’s suited and on top of you, ready to pump you full of his kids.
He doesn’t use any lube, nor does he care for your walls stretching ruthlessly on top of his cock without any preparation. His thumb rests on your rim but instead of stretching you out, it pulls your hole open for him to shove his cock inside you.
You want him to breed you? Well guess what? He wants you to be bred too. And all you’re gonna feel is his seed inside you– not lube, nothing.
Only him.
Only Jay.
“C’mon baby,” he grunts over you when his cock is shoved to the hilt inside you, “Beg daddy for his cum,” he swears he can feel your aching, fertile womb.
“Daddy!” You shout your way through the stretch, walls quick to accommodate the girth they invite in every night… and morning if they’re lucky.
A heavy thrust is given to your cunt which makes you yelp and reach for his hair. He hasn’t even started a rhythm yet you’re bending in half trying to push away from the bed.
Too much. Yet not enough.
“Beg harder,” an inarguable command.
You already know your role. You’ve given an Oscar worthy performance for months on end.
“Daddy please i wan- i,” and then you’re crying out in a dragged out moan when he starts pumping into you. Smooth and steady.
Moving those skillful hips like a pro, Jay has no doubts that he can get you pregnant with one try.
His nails dig into your thighs when he brings your legs over his shoulders. Your hips hover in the air as he uses his hands to pull you onto his cock in time with his thrusts.
“Go on,” he’s sucks in a breath through his teeth, “Or I can very well spill on the sheets instead and waste my cum,”
“No!” You’re horrified at the suggestion, mind lost in the haze of having a baby with Jay.
Making a baby with Jay
Carrying Jay’s baby inside you
Oh gods
“Daddy!!” You’re urgent in your cries and Jay uses your urgency to quicken his thrusts, pelvis slapping on your ass with every heavy movement, “Daddy I wan– oh– mmngh,” and Jay has the audacity to laugh at your struggle as you’re shoved around on the bed, “Y-your kids!!”
You’re drooling and choking on your tears but your begging doesn’t end. Neither does Jay’s pussy destroying pattern.
“I wan– I want you to fill my womb! I want you to pump me full of your babies please,” you’re sobbing– on your wits end, brain only filled with three things.
Jay. Daddy. Babies. Jay. Babies. Jay’s babies.
“Want me to make you a mommy? Fuck” Jay pushes his chest to yours, noses almost toughing, his body folding yours in a mating press and then he’s pushing his tongue on your mouth to lick all your drool off. His hips slam into yours so fiercely that even in your sex craved haze you can feel the bruises forming.
“Gonna get you pregnant. Gonna fill you up so good I swear on it,” he’s growling in your ear as his hips falter.
“Gonna keep you on this bed and keep pumping your womb full until you’re swollen with my seed,”
One more word out of his mouth and you will. Lose. Your. Mind.
“Oh god please don’t stop,” your eyes roll to the back of your head.
“Why would I ever stop,” it’s a shameless moan, “Why would I stop when I have such a warm toy to play with,”
A protective hand lays flat on your tummy, stroking the skin. Jay’s hand is scorching hot and it’s such an innocent gesture yet the implications have you reeling.
“I’m gonna fill you up right here,” his palm pets your stomach where your womb is supposed to be.
You have to bite on his shoulder to keep your screams at bay because when his fingers pinch and twist your erected nipples, you’re actually done for.
A mind shattering orgasm hits you like bricks and your brain goes numb. You didn’t get any clit stimulation, the thought of Jay pumping his hot cum into you was enough.
You’re blabbering into oblivion, endless choruses of “yes daddy, give it to me,” “I’ll be your cum dump,” and praises over the size of his efficient cock that twitches inside you every now and then.
“Jay,” your toes curl behind him,”
And then Jay heaves
“My fertile little girl,”
And then he spills.
He looks down where you and him connect, spreading your cheeks to watch his red cock pulse and empty his load inside you.
Jay tries to overcome the overstimulation on his dick and slides in effortlessly again– a stealthy yet slow rhythm this time. Any blob of cum that seeps out of you is caught by his tip and pushed back inside you.
Instant kisses are pressed to your chest to help you breathe again. You teeter on the edge of consciousness and unconsciously, sated smile lingering your lips because you feel full. You really feel his load inside and you fuck does it feel like a whole new experience.
You don’t let Jay pull our when he moves to clean you and he peppers your face with endeared kisses.
“You know what,” a whispered secret.
“What?” And suddenly you’re curious.
“I always wanted to watch you carry my baby,”
You scoff loudly to hide your embarrassment… the love spell already wearing down.
Jay laughs heartily at your reaction.
“I think I like you you best like this, bent to take my kids,”
“Fuck off Jay,”
After laughing at your sudden misery a second time, Jay moves away. He grabs a pillow from his side of the bed and tucks it under your hips.
“You know,” he answers your questioning stare, “so my cum will take,”
Suddenly you’re groaning and pushing him away with a shove of your foot.
“Don’t say shit like that,” you whine at him as he takes his leg to rub soothingly at your tired joints.
“Oh so you can say “oh god daddy please pump me full of your babies,” and “oh daddy I’ll carry your kids, i promise,” but i can’t talk about my cum inside you,” an innocent jab at your muddle-brained demands and promises, “You’re not shy while presenting your cum thirsty holes to me but heaven forbid I say something,”
You’re shoving a pillow to your face before he can tease you more about whatever else you scream when he’s on top of you.
That doesn’t stop Jay from poking at your sloppy cunt again.
“Think you can go another round?” Your lips squelch when his fingers pull them apart, clit already throbbing in interest for another go, “I quite like the idea of my children growing inside you,”
Your heart quivers at Jay’s infatuated look.
“Plural?” An honest question really
“I’m thinking five at the very least.”
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A/N - I know this definitely makes no sense but this word vomit had to happen because what the fuck who put jay in that pilot outfit. This is also not proofread
Taglist - @thinkaboutzusworld @chewryy @parkhonnie @from-xero @avbbie
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sunghoonbite · 1 month
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pairings: heeseung/jay/jake x reader
warnings/content: nsfw, first time sex, valentine’s day! mutual pining, foreplay, i kinda edged u all on this one i’m sorry if u need a part 2 i understand
minors dni, before reading
hi happy valentine’s day!! it’s just these 3 bc i didn’t have the time to write for sunoo tonight, but i totally can add him at some point if you guys want it. hope u enjoy :o
you wore lace lingerie to heeseung’s dorm to tease him, his t-shirt that he gave you some weeks ago thrown overtop of it, your legs hidden by comfy sweatpants.
you had gone out earlier today for valentine’s day, to the mall and out to eat. but you wanted more than that. you called him up and let him know you’d be over to spend the night, and of course he immediately accepted your invitation.
heeseung wanted more too. when you drove to the restaurant, your sephora bags from the mall sitting on the floor of his car, you sat in the passenger seat, silently looking out the window. he’d look over at you once he got to a stoplight, and his eyes trailed down to your thighs every time. the weather was nice and you wore a skirt for him.
silently, he cursed himself. why did he want to touch you so badly? you sat innocently next to him, legs crossed, but the only thought on his mind was the sounds you’d make as you made a mess over his car. would you whine his name? grab his hand as he fucked your cunt?
when you got to his dorm, he looked you up and down, infatuated, although you were dressed messily in his shirt. you leaned in once inside and your lips met.
“take my top off,” you whispered against his mouth, and his hands trailed up your back. you felt his lips curl upwards.
he obliged, shirt falling to his carpeted floor, and he blinked at the lace bralette that just barely covered your chest up.
“can you fuck me, heeseung?”
once your words spilled out of your mouth, he had you pressed into his bed within seconds.
jay took you out to eat on valentine’s day. you had spent the night before, not unusual for the two of you, and while drifting off to sleep you mumbled some barely coherent words about what restaurant you wanted to be taken to. so, gladly, he surprised you the next evening. “surprise” being a loose term, since he quite literally will do whatever you ask. taking you out to eat is a minuscule task.
you got ready in his bathroom, and stepped out in a silk, short black dress. his eyes wandered instantly, your curves evident as the fabric hugged your body, but he looked away after getting a good glance. jay was typically short with his compliments, not at all meaning that he disliked your appearance whatsoever, but he felt almost intimidated by your beauty, and feared if he spoke too much about what you looked like or wore that it would become uncomfortable.
so, he uttered softly, “you look good.”
when you got to the restaurant, though, he wasn’t able to look away, despite his efforts. you were seated across from him, and you were both yet to order. your eyes scanned the menu, unaware of his scanning your body, and you pressed your lips together as you thought about what to order. you looked up at him, ready to ask his opinion, and he was already staring at you.
“is something wrong?” you questioned.
“you look amazing,” he stated your name after his sentence.
you beamed, face beginning to flush, and you looked up as you brushed his comment off.
“thank you!” you smiled, fully aware jay’s words are always genuine.
he spoke your name again, pausing afterwards. you looked at him.
“how about we go in the car?” his voice was low.
you waited a moment, trying to understand his request, but tilted your head slightly once he didn’t elaborate.
“why? what’s wrong?”
quietly, he leaned in and replied, “i want to fuck you in the parking lot.”
his words were unusually bold for him. your mouth opened as you looked around, searching for if someone heard him.
“would that be okay?” he asked, before you had the possibility to answer, “it’s okay if you want to wait for another time.”
you took your purse that rested on the table, and began to sit up out of your chair.
“i want to,” you said quietly, “fuck me in the parking lot.”
so he did.
you and jake stayed in for the holiday. you both planned this ahead, so he surprised you. he bought you chocolates and flowers, and placed them in gift box of your favorite things. you spent the day together, captivated with one another’s presence.
now, though, it was getting late, and you sat together on his couch. you started the third movie of the night, snacks from earlier scattered over the table in front of you. his arm was around your waist, and your head rested on his shoulder to accompany your body that was curled up on his side. you were close, so close.
for some reason, your body started to heat up. his touch against you was nice, but you wanted more from him. you wanted jake on your skin. you wanted him to touch you more. lower. deeper.
you shifted, hoping to release some tension as you tried to inch closer to him. it wasn’t possible, you were already nearly connected to him, your clothes the only thing separating you. it was agonizing, you wanted to feel him.
you lifted your head up to get a better look at his face that was fixated on the screen. when he felt the warmth leave his shoulder, he turned to you. you kissed him once he did, his mouth meeting yours.
once the kiss broke, you moved closer, sitting on his lap now, straddling his thigh.
“what’re you doing baby?” he asked, mouth curled up into what you made out to be a sheepish grin.
you leaned in to kiss his neck.
“i need you,” you mumbled against his skin.
his hands wandered down and held onto your waist firmly.
“yeah? need me how?”
you lifted your head up once again and a sigh escaped your lips, you turned your head to the side.
“jake, i want you to fuck me,” you said, cursing yourself mentally for letting yourself say it so boldly, so desperately.
“all of a sudden?” he asked, but not complaining, completing his sentence with a small laugh.
“it’s okay if you don’t want to,” you added.
“no, no,” he replied, “i want to.”
as he said that, he lifted your top above your head to start undressing you. he pressed his palms against your waist and laid you down on the couch gently.
“fuck,” he muttered under his breath at the sight of you, “you’re gonna look so pretty on my dick.”
you did, if you could call your mascara running pretty.
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foulaimer · 2 years
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jay rich kid son of ceo who owns the school. his secret? according to him, you're a hot milf. mf would manspread a lot in class to lowkey piss you off and get your attention even after saying to "sit properly" in general before starting the lessons. he's that desperate. he fantasizes about you a lot, jerks off to the view of your ass in a tight pencil skirt that shows the very obvious outlines of your lingerie infront of him whenever you'd bend over his seatmate to help them understand the lessons better, jerks off to how tight your blouse is and how much longer it would take for the buttons to burts out because of that huge breasts of yours, he loves it when you wear white ones as it not only shows the outlines of your bras but the color of it, now, how is he suppose to help his hard boner when he is having dinner with you and with his dad who's flirting with you? "once you move in here after our wedding, i'll make sure to give you your needs and as for jay, would you mind helping with me on that one, son? make her comfortable and welcome at home."
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j4y-lvr · 1 year
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day flower … park jongseong
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SYNOPSIS. bent over the sink, coughing up petals and blood, you knew that your worst fears had come true.
PAIRING. jay x fem!reader
GENRE. fluff, angst, lovers2?, established!relationship (?), hanahaki au
WARNINGS. profanity, mentions of food, mentions of blood, quite a lot of kissing, possibly making out (?), one mention of loss of weight, graphic, mcd(?), death(?)
WORD COUNT. 5.3k
NOTE. i just wanted to write something sad and i came up with this,, idk why i chose jay to fit my mental image of this bc its so saddening to even imagine— EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD PLS DO READ😭‼ thoughts on an alternative ending? update:: I MADE ONE: !! ALTERNATE ENDING. !!
Reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated!
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i. the bud blooms
At the ripe age of 12 you were sent away with your mother after a preceding divorce bought with complexities and the drop of niceties. This, however, was your chance  at a fresh start or whatever your mother bullshited about when you knew you'd nonetheless be a burden to her.
Maybe she was prepping you to put up with her never coming home nor checking up on you as time passed. With no real restrictions you spent your time outside after school and by the field of daffodils you found after a hike up the crest of a low hill.
A google search on the then simplistic site displayed that daffodils symbolise new beginnings, quite accurate given your situation. Much hadn't changed now as only the site was cleaned up to look mod and appealing but the information remained.
On the sole field you met a boy. Dark hair brooding his lowered eyes, and he wore nothing but a tiresome look on his face. He stepped forward and scrunched his nose in annoyance at the sight of  you, an intruder to his scarce peace. "ugh, whatever, just stay on that side of the field and don't disturb me,"  With no one to tell you when to not bother someone, you did exactly that, eventually getting him to gleam a boyish smile at you.
Just like the search engine viewing your answer, that boy, jay, seemed to have an answer for almost everything. Smart and logical, would always rationalise with himself and was punctual with his timings at the gripping age of 13. Not once had he been late when you’d inquire to meet him the very next day, finding him at his usual spot, grimacing at the withered flowers. His punctuality and love for flowers (?) scared you, either he was messed up in the head or he'd been expected to act like an adult for the majority of his life, to live up to his parents expectations.
He wandered to these fields for his lonesome mind to sing to some melody of a song you didn't know, caressing the petals of the varied and wilting flowers. You accompanied him with a sketchbook in hand, your hands at work, your ears to his humming and occasional tunes with no comments or interruptions. You had not a thread attached with his absolute, practical life, and that's what he grew to enjoy as he sang you sweet songs and admired the minimalist beauty of flowers for hours together before he vanished back the trail he hiked up.
A decade long later, he stood the same punctual, intellectual, stellar citizen as his facial features  matured and took a dark yet captivating bloom while he sobered from a teen to a young adult. Now the heir of his grandfather's company, he revelled in the success of his grandfather's business. To say he grew would be an understatement, rarely ever flashing you that lovable boyish grin, never to sing his silly little tunes in front of you again.
You weren't one to pry, years into your first ever relationship with your first love and beyond afraid to lose your loose yet stitched in place frail, threaded red heart the two of you share. The photobook stared upon you, urging you to reminisce about your uneventful past filled with mostly jay. The current times didn't get any exciting either, you painted and attended exhibitions, the usual smile carried on your peach tinted lips at the guests and those interested in buying your pieces.
Contrary to this, jay barely made it home, cooped up in his office all day everyday, allowing himself to come home merely upon completing his work. You didn't mind really, the two of you went out, spoke to each other often, and were happy. This while around, he had been distant for a week or two, his longest record of shutting you out till date. You figured he was exhausted mentally and gave him the space though you wished to circle in his arms and breath wistfully.
You veered your attention to the pages and stopped on one of jay, sat beneath the tree near your old, broken, rundown house, looking into the farther distance, admiring the view, and so were you at the time, etching each feature of his delicately put together face, ingraining it in your mind, taking out your then new but now ancient camera to capture the spectacle.
You grin at the photo stuck, your orbs drifting to the messy lyrics he'd written in english to match the mood of the moment, this particular one that of your favourite song till date, one that he used to sing you to sleep.
"what are you looking so fondly at," uttered jay whose presence you failed to recognise in the room, his exasperated expression making you almost coo at him. You patted on the bedding beside as he followed, crossing your painting that you'd left to dry for hours ere.
"our photo book," you replied gaily, surprised to see him speaking to you after weeks, instinctively reaching for his cheek and staring into his eyes to find the very night sky in them, to find them gleaming right at you, the type stars would beam before they went out. A mesmerising yet sad beauty.
His gaze flickered from your soulful eyes and he glued his sights to the photo and hummed in agreement, "i guess i've always looked this good," he finished the tire in his vocals evident with a slight snicker. You shifted closer to him on the bedding which you wrinkled in the process, "you always have," you completed, pulling him closer by the hand that cupped his cheek.
You drawled yourself up to his level, running your thumb back and forth on his soft skin while your other hand ran through his soft hair, watching as he watched you with this solemn look you couldn't put a finger on. You smiled wider and hovered your lips over his as you ultimately gave in to his alluring presence and pressed your soft lips to his in a desperate yet sweet manner.
He hummed from bewilderment and slinged an arm around your waist, inching the distance closer than possible, tilting his head further and into you as he danced with your lips. You pulled away and gasped, blinking as bliss hit you, wondering if it could get any better than this? You drew away and slotted your lips on his again, covering his frantic yet slow lips, kissing him passionately, emptying out your heartfelt sentiments in the shared motion. 
You climbed off and undid his tie and the first button of his dress shirt and told him to wash up, getting to your feet, fetching him comfortable clothes and a glass of water to drink. He changed into them after washing up and sat back down on the mattress, back pressed to the headboard, the glass coming in contact with his lips that stained yours not long ago.
He glugged the cool water down his throat and set the now empty glass on the bedside table, your hand ruffling his hair as he yearned for your lips to confirm his doubt, tugging down and setting his lips against yours to feel the emotion again as you relaxed into his warm touch after a long day. 
He separated the connection as a string of saliva drew apart and suspended, a sigh of what you thought was content from jay as he flopped to the soft matting underneath him. A pit settled in his stomach and he felt guilt. He chose to ignore the feeling and set his eyes to a close.
You joined him, clinging onto him, kicking on the blanket to yourself and snuggling into his shoulder with a grin. Jay forcefully shut his eyes with a wince he hoped you'd miss it and placed his hand on your waist. Jay pretended to sleep as you hiked up on your elbow, leaning to press a peck to his forehead and mutter, "i love you."
Truth be told, jay sighed out of worry than content.
ii. blossom
You gotten used to the sight of jays absence when you awoke from your prolonged slumber, even the days you rose as early as 8, he’d be out the door, bidding you goodbye as he tucked in the loop of tie and tighten it around the collar, patting you on the head before bolting out the door and zooming off in his vehicle.
He’s been distant but never avoiding, and that's what you felt like he was doing this time; avoiding. As painful as it was to accept the fact that he had been avoiding you for the past week was hurtful. Yes, he was out and at work, he hadn’t stepped foot in the house since a week, nor would he receive your calls, excusing himself through text messages shorter than 5 words.
Time you made him show up yourself. 
You spent almost the entire day prepping your setting, going as far as decorating and cooking something you saw online which ended up pretty decent. Now, all you needed was to lure jay like a wasp to light. You picked up your cell, dialling his number, your throat feeling rather scruffy as you coughed on the ringing line to soothe the uncomfortable sensation.
“did i work too hard for this, i feel my throat closing up,” you mumble, waiting for the line to connect, the mere automated voice blaring through your ear canal causing you to hang up and opt to text him. “come home, its an emergency,”
Not the best, but surely it’d do the trick, and in an hour's time, jay showed up, panting as he bolted the door open, “where's the fire!” he shouted, standing in the common room, across your resting figure on the couch. You yelped and got to your feet, rushing over and placing both hands over your heart, “here.”
His expression morphed from his initial shock to confusion and to anger. He should've seen it coming as it was February the 14th, Valentine's day. Discarding the tie to his fist, he stared you down with menacing eyes, making you gulp down the present discomfort in your throat, your fearful yet expectant orbs gazing into his raged one.
“i’m really trying to control myself,” “good, we haven’t even started,”
With his tongue poking the side of his cheek from annoyance, you led him to the backyard where a table was set from your preparation and he seemed surprised at the notion, and his mouth slitted open as you hauled the piping hot dish towards the meagre wobbling metal table that withheld the dishes well, allowing you to take a seat opposite of jay.
The look in his eyes was penetrating, feeling your throat close in more as you coughed uncontrollably prompting him to hand you a glass of water, glued to his seat as he observed you heave up and down before the hectic coughing subsided and you felt the air reach your nostril and travel without a hitch to your lungs.
“sorry, i, uh, made us dinner,” you conveyed, forcing a wide smile while overlooking your fit of spontaneous fits of coughing, “i can see that,” he responded sternly, beginning to serve the food onto both plates, his eyes not letting up the cold act for a millisecond, like he almost meant it.
You picked at your food, staring at him eat wordlessly, the irritation in your throat causing you to gag and wince every now and then before you mustered to pierce through the tension filled atmosphere, “did i do something wrong?” The resounding clang of the utensil to the plate made you straighten your back, “no, i’m just upset over the fact you had to lie to get me here,” he paused, drifting off into a daze, “i haven’t come home in a while, i know,”
He shifted away from your constraint, locking eyes with his meal and eating the plate clean, “you’ve gotten better at cooking,” he commented, shutting his eyelids and leaning back on the cold metal of the chair, waiting for you finish your respective meal, making you swallow down the larger chunks in haste. You stood to your feet, the ordeal leaving a metallic taste in your mouth. The chair scraped back, you collected the dishes and placed them in the sink, the unsettling pit in your stomach only digging deeper with the irking sensation in the back of your throat growing ratched.
You went to bed with a heavy heart, his back facing yours as he wordlessly drifted to slumber, leaving you to your consuming thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, he really was exhausted. You shouldn't have been so disapproving of him for his mental absence.
Either way, your plan was an absolute failure.
The sun rose inevitably and jay arose to his right, feet planted on the rugged flooring, remaining sat on the bedding, heaving a loud sigh. He peered over his back to sneak a peek at your asleep state. The way your eyes were clamped shut and your brows furrowed with a strong pout spoke enough of your nightmare and jay exhaled into his palms away from you.
He'd hate to break your heart but he'd hate to lead you on even more. He couldn't bring himself to feel the same anymore, his emotionality drained and his sentiments aside, he felt guilt to have wronged you. He felt like a shitty person every morning to face your innocent stature suffocating him in wallow. So, every morning, he left before you awoke to stop the aching in his wilting heart.
The dip in the mattress rises as he does, stepping disheartedly to the bathroom to start his mundane routine. The shower head shoots water as his hair dampens, his sole salty tears mixing with the overhead resource, tears drowning in silence. You stir awake with your throat suffocatingly sore to the point where swallowing water was excruciatingly painful.
The small clock on the bed side table ticked with faint clicks, the hour handle clocked at 7 with the longer needle on 40 as the splinter-like needle spun periodically. You coughed, finding it hard to breathe, the itching sensation increasing as you felt something will up your throat, your hand bracing your mouth in a clasp. 
Mustering out the strange discomfort inducing object, you coughed out a petite, white petal, accompanied with a sized spot of blood painting its own canvas— your palm, per se. Observing the viscous liquid the upside length of your hand, you begin to feel nauseous, ripping the blanket off you and grasping your neck from pain.
You separated the petal from the splash or crimson, clutching it in your free hand as jay made his way over to you, draped in a bathrobe, ushering your tained palm inspect. He grimaced at the sight of blood staining your palm, his thumb instinctively finding your cheek rubbing it of what he attempted to seem affectionate. 
Tears pricking your orbs, you urged forward and wrapped your arms around him merely to be held away from his hold with a jerk, making you gape clueless. "it'll stain," he reminded, though he'd pushed you for other reasons he couldn't have the guts to come clean too.
Wiping your eyes dry, you stepped away from him and washed away the substance while jay suited up for work. You left the premise and returned to where jay buttoned his shirt hastily. You strode up to him and finally found yourself in his hesitant hold, peering up to him with glossy eyes. 
He sighed into your face, his arms tightening around you as you hiked to his eye level in your tiptoes to press a peck to his lips. You approached forward and pecked his lips, to confirm your growing doubt. You readjusted to kiss him, parting your mouth only for him to pull you back once again with another excuse. 
"you haven't brushed your teeth yet," he delivered with a soft tone, running his hand down your bed hair. It stung. Not just your throat, your heart, years ago into your relationship you'd made out plenty of times with a nasty breath and none of you seemed to mind. He really was making… excuses. 
The flowers, the blood—him avoiding you, your fleeting touch— most importantly, he began to ignore your feelings for him. 
Jay was falling out of love with you.
iii. grow thorns
Desperate. That's what you felt coursing through your veins as you curled into a ball on the carpeted floor in the empty residence, jay long gone on a business trip to wherever. Upon your gruesome piecing together, you felt despair and spent most of your time wallowing in streams of tears.
It was March and you laid sick in bed, occasionally leaving to fulfil your regular duties as a human while completely neglecting physical activity and socialising, not like you were good at either but this case was extreme. The same boy you felt deeply connected to, the boy who made you understand what love felt like, the boy who showed you true love—which your parents always failed to accommodate— was also the boy who'd crumble your fragile beating soul to rubble.
Your first petals you coughed were once pea size petals that gradually turned into full fledged, grown petals, heaving up your trachea, branches growing in your lungs making it all the much harder for you to breathe. In arounv a week's time, was your anniversary with jay. It'd be foolish to think he'd just take you back like that after the answer of unrequited love stood from your lungs. 
Perhaps if he broke your heart a second time, you would be convinced and mercilessly succumb to the inevitable.
You kept the petals you threw to a side, setting up a fresh canvas and painting a blank later for white onto it. Unsure of what to paint, you stood contemplating what you were even doing in the first place but the thought of gifting it to him seemed motivating and so you began.
Strokes of wet paint slapped onto the once pearly white canvas, skilledly sketching with your brush the outline of your objects, filling in the remnants of white into the backdrop of the portrait. It wasn't over till it was, eventually over. The faint lines of your boyfriend became clear and so had your mind. You knew what your next change of plan would be.
Jay returned around two weeks later and by then your health had declined and the loneliness merely increased. Hesitant to speak to you, you took the hint and mainted your distance as well, only interacting when needed as he used the spare bedroom to rest. Indeed,.t hurt to think that he found it hard to even sleep next to you but you weren't going to take it till he uttered the words himself.
Then came your anniversary. The two of you had been great friends for four years and then dated for four and you'd like to say that you both were still going strong, though your current situation said all but that. You requested jay to help in making dinner for the while none of you spoke a word of the day's occasion.
You were at work chopping the vegetables as jay readied the base, sprinkling some spices and checking the flavouring every now and then all without saying a word to you. Your eyes travelled from the steaming stew to where he placed the spoon between his lips, a furrow creasing on his face, tongue clicking.
"salt," he mumbled, eyes drifting from around where he situated, then shifting to around you. The salt was placed beside the chopping board, and that meant it was across you, an arm's distance. Without much thought, he stepped closer to you and reached for the salt, his arm brushing past your waist, causing him to tense, his orbs darting to yours.
You solemnly watched his eyes grow from hesitate to panic to worry. Worry, however, caught you off guard? His hand remained on the salt bottle, arm still at your waist. "you've gotten thin," he mustered, peering down  at you. Your lips parted and cursed yourself for the water gathering in your tear glands.
You shifted to face him and your fists collided with the material of his shirt, clutching it in your grasp while you looked to your feet to collect your thoughts. Jay watched with no thoughts, bewildered at your shaken state. Just in time, your throat began to cave in.
You showed him your back, heaving up and down, the petals trailing up your throat and hitting your palm. You smacked your chest uncomfortably to stop the tractions to not let him suspect anything was out of order.
"you okay?" he queried, feeling the thumps of his feet getting closer to you, panicking as you collected blood and petals into your hand, the fear of him peeking it at your new high. He reached to your position and you scurried off in a haste towards the washroom. Passing by your jar of petals, you dropped them into the pot in a hurry as jay caught up to you.
Drowning the crimson in the sink you ran water on your hands, cutting the water supply and placing your wetted hands on the cold counter, panting. The heavy footsteps echoed and then soon were planted behind you. You gazed at his fallen front in the mirror. Why? Why did he look disheartened? Did he feel something for you after all?
He panned you around, caging you to the marbled counter, sealing in his arms with your chest by his, solely daring to search for any love in his eyes. Yanking the sleeve of your sweatshirt laid a spot of crimson from the viscous liquid. You mentally winced and set your sights away from him.
His finger glided to your chin and brought you towards his front, his palm resting on your cheek, "you're not okay, are you darling," he conveyed as your heart grumbled at the endeared name, a stray tear threatening to stain your cheek. "i've been unwell,"
The silence dawned on the two of you as he buried his hand in your hair, tugging down on it to tilt your head up, and his finger parting your nimble lips, the salty taste lingering in his mouth as he pressed down, and gave you a kiss. Under any circumstance than this, you'd relish the feeling but you felt sick with your throat itching.
Nonetheless, you played into his act of affection, gripping him further as his neck dipped to reach further in your cavern. Taking in what'd be the last time you'd ever meet his lips with such fever you attempted to feel the texture of his moist lips diving in and out. the pop sound loud and clear as you pulled him off of you. He settled his hand by your ear, his thumb giving you a false sense of security as he rested his forehead against yours.
"shall we get married?"
The falter in his facials was apparent and you felt your heart fall to your stomach. "marriage? what are you talking about, we're only 21," he missed, trying to play it cool.
"you know I love you right?" you did love him, you weren't lying but he didn't and you wouldn't let go of him till he said those harsh words himself.
His lack of reply set you off and you changed your blank face to that of despair, " you don't love me?" 
"i…"
You shoved him away, crinkling your eyes in downward crescents as tears peaked from your eyes, playing at his heart strings. You felt the similar aggression of anger pile in him as he rushed his breathing, brows furrowing deep and the same mouth you kissed parted to utter icy words..
"do you know how it feels to date the one you've known and cared for since you were child?! not once have I ever hurt you nor done anything to hurt and i never will but I can’t sleep at night looking at your unaware face that i settled to for work. It’d break my heart to break your’s but i can’t let up with this without feeling guilty for leading you on when i cannot bring myself to feel those sentiments of love— i just don’t love you like before! "
Though you knew it was coming, the actuality hurt so much more. The lines of him declining your love for him played repeatedly. Jay left the room and the house, slamming the front door to possibly never return again. You sobbed even harder than before, falling to the floor urging the feeling to succumb to die as you coughed up amounts of blood  and petals onto the floor in shambles.
iv. wither
April came as fast as March left with Jay slamming the door, never to return under any circumstance. You strongly believed he began living at his office unless one friend allowed him to stay over for an extended period of time. You, however, hadn't had any luck with getting better, accepting you would die soon.
Mustering any strength you conjured to get out of bed, meeting the carpeted floor where you'd spend hours staring at the ceiling with teary eyes. You were going to go down like this, despite your dreams and aspirations, this was how'd you succumb to death.
The sole motivation to sit by your canvas, that slowly came to picture, was the haunted expression in his front you could imagine ever so vividly. You meagre around the house to get your jar of thrown up petals, stained scarlet, quite a nice piece of decor to the vicinity though it'd be too bad that you'd be gone to not see it as one.
Frailly reaching for one petal, then another, you stuck them in carefully, the internal shaking refusing to seize as your breath turned shallow, leaving you gasping for air, overexerting yourself in finishing the piece. 
On the once pearly white canvas sat a portrait of jay through the lens of your antique camera where you stood a trail of your petals and blood mixed onto the canvas, increasing as they led to your situation behind the camera just like your dying self behind the canvas.
Finishing the painting, you felt the hot breath hit your tired out hands and brittle paint dipped fingers— the same fingers Jay would kiss to you sleep, ticking you into bed if you ran a fever— were also the ones that gripped to the head rest, giving to the growing tiredness that overcame you, turning to lie flat on your back.
The keys jingled in the near distance, jay slipping in through the door, watching as nothing had really moved around in the house. He contemplated on notifying you of his abrupt appearance, opting to slowly creep up the stairs. Unknown to you, you had started coughing again, the strength in your arms to cover your mouth non-existent.
Resulting in the blood coating you and the mattress in a painful fit of red as you sobbed heartbroken to yourself wondering where it went wrong, did he require more space, had you been more mindful would he still be at your side.
Jay stilled on hearing your heart wrenching sobs, the previous hesitance gone as he ran up the stairs and to your situation on the bed stained bed. Having forgotten about your coughing fit of blood through the apparent stress from the separation. 
His sight fell to the canvas in front of him greeting as you cough seized, your eyelids lugging over your glassed over orbs, jay getting to knees as he saw you covered in blood, his hand finding your paint ridden hand. You gave a weak chuckle, "if we ever meet again, I hope it works out then," you say, the diamonds leaving the comfort of your eyes and onto your crimson imposed self. 
Jay heaved from panic, "why didn't you tell me?!" He hurried exclaimed, his hand running down your arm to keep your burning vessel even warmer. Unbeknownst to him he'd been crying and you watched with low eyes close to shutting, your palm lifting up to his tear stricken cheek, "just know," you paused, shutting your eyes completely feeling the life get sucked out of your body. 
"i loved you."
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alternate ending. (1.6k)
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persejackson · 2 years
Text
❝𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐄☕❞— jay (on hold)
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𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: idol!jay x idol!fem!reader
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: fluff, a tad bit of angst?, crack
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: swearing and aggressive language ig
𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: the group mystic is about to debut under bighit entertainment. in celebration of their debut teaser coming out, they visit the hybe cafe for some coffee and sweets. just as they were leaving, y/n bumps into jay of enhypen and spills coffee all over his expensive shirt which also turned out to be his favorite one.
𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: the enhypen members, yujin of ive, ryujin of itzy, jihan of weeekly, j of stayc, nayoung of lightsum, and thena my oc
𝐀/𝐍: i do not know how to work tumblr so please bear with me. also, i am not a boomer just because i do not know how to work this app.
𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄: No specific day but probably the first week of August.
𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓♫︎
(note: ☕-semi-written, 💌- fully written)
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profiles!
mystics, the en-boiz
CHAPTERS!
chapter one. cute sunbaes [☕]
chapter two. application for new friends
extra. you should manifest
chapter three. sunoo's fav dropout
chapter four. it's debutation day
extra. JUNGKOOK, I AM SORRY
chapter five. a trip down memory lane [💌]
chapter six. y/n girlfriend era?
chapter seven. ok maybe i am a simp
extra. jungkook forgive me pt.2
chapter eight. mystic and enha besties
extra. wtf do y'all feed her
chapter nine. denial is a river in egypt
chapter ten. everyone loves jungkook
chapter eleven. sneaking around
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taglist (open) send an ask or comment to be added
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i05wook · 1 year
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heyy!! i read some of ur works and you are such a talented writer omg. and i was wondering if u can make a jay fic where he was playing league and you walking in being super sleepy but u being the way u are cant sleep without him even though u dont want to admit it u go up to him and asked him if u could sit in his lap while he played and he teased u a bit but obviously said ok and when u go to him u massage his scalp and he falls more in love w u at the small gesture and he turns off his game bc he starts to get sleepy as well but doesnt wanna move he sleepily murmurs sweet nothings as u fall asleep then u both wke up w aching backs and necks and end up bickering about whos fault it was
cuddles - park jongseong
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pairing: gn! reader x bf! jay
genre: fluff
summary: jay is playing league for that long you end up falling asleep with him in his chair
author’s notes: thank you so much @biggestenhastan for the request!!
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It’d been a really long day at your part time job in a local cafe, between the constant interaction with customers, and the stress of your boss being grouchy all day which felt particularly aimed at you, all you wanted was to collapse in bed with your amazing boyfriend, Jay. However, when you finally arrived back home, you could hear Jay’s voice echoing through the apartment. This only meant one thing, he was playing League with Heeseung and Niki.
Whilst you were happy that Jay was playing with the boys and enjoying his time off from busy schedules, you couldn’t help but want his cuddles and to just fall asleep in his arms. In order to stop the guilty feelings that were arising inside of you, you decided to do some tidying of the apartment, however when you finally decided to go see Jay in the bedroom, he was still in the middle of a match with the boys. At this point, all you wanted was his love and affection, so you walked towards where he was sat in his gaming chair and wrapped your arms around his neck, placing a kiss on his cheek.
He muted his mic and spun his chair around to face you, saying, “hey love, you’re back! How was work today?” Before you could even reply to his question, he noticed the look of exhaustion on your face and pulled you towards him, and in to his lap on the chair. Jay knew of your aversion towards sleeping without him beside you, but he also knew that he could be playing with the boys for sometime before he could join you in bed. “Love, I know that you’re tired, I can see it on your face, and I don’t know how long this game will last so why don’t you have a nap with me here for a bit?”
With this information you decided to get yourself into a more comfortable position to nap in, wrapping your limbs around his body like a koala on a tree. Once you were settled, and both you and Jay were happy with the position, Jay began tickling your sides and teasing you for being so adorable with him. Eventually, when the next match started, he unmuted his mic and settled in to the game, however his voice was significantly quieter than it had been when you first entered the apartment as he was mindful of your want to sleep.
With your head resting on his chest, and arms wrapped around his around his neck, you began to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. For Jay, this was one of the best ways to spend his time off, he especially loved the feeling of his hair brushing through your fingers.
After around an hour of gaming, he decided it was time to call it a day and turned off his pc. Just as he was about to wake you up, he looked down to see you peacefully sleeping, and something inside him told him not to move or wake you up. He placed a series of kisses to the top of your head, whilst wrapping his arms around your waist, and rubbing his hand up and down the small of your back, slowly sending himself in to a deep, deep, sleep.
The next morning, you had been woken up by the blinding morning sunlight peering through the curtains of Jay’s gaming room. At first you were in a severe state of confusion, why were you still in Jays gaming room? Why were you in Jay’s gaming chair? Why had Jay not woke you up last night so you could both have a good nights sleep?
Then, as you tried to get up from the position you had slept in in Jay’s lap, you felt the uncomfortable ache in all of your joints and muscles. However, in your attempt to remove yourself from the uncomfortable position you had slept in, you had ended up disturbing Jay from his sleep.
“Good morning love!” croaked out Jay’s morning voice as he stretched his neck from the uncomfortable position it had assumed during the night.
“Why on earth did you decided for us both to just sleep here? It’s your fault that we’re both suffering form aching muscles.” you whined, a small pout forming on your face.
“You were the one who looked too peaceful to move or wake up last night. It’s your fault that you're just so ethereal.” He bickered back, knowing that he could fluster you enough with the last sentence that he would ultimately win your little lovers squabble that morning.
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requests: open
permanent taglist: @bambisgirl @enhacolor @acaiasahi @jakekgs @duolingofanaccount
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minho-hoho · 1 year
Text
Please, open the door
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GENRE yandere au PAIRING yandere!Jay x gn!reader WARNING cursing, suicide, typical yandere behaviour REQUESTED yes, 400 followers event WC 0.6k NOTE ok this is me writing heathers but lets look over this thx, also this has been a while since i had this much fun writing, i wrote this really fast too :> i hope you'll enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it :D
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you ran through the hallways, trying to find somewhere to hide. your heart was pounding in your chest. your sweat and tears now indistinguishable from each other on your face. you were out of breath but the will to live and the adrenaline were stronger and kept you going.
you looked around, hoping to find a door, but nothing. it was a nightmare. Jay's voice and footsteps could be heard, and each time they got closer to you, your heart raced and you sprinted to buy yourself some time.
you were starting to get seriously tired, your legs felt like jelly. fortunately, you found a door and used the bit of strength left in your legs and body to open and close it.
you tried barricading the door with everything you could find, but you knew that it wouldn't be enough to stop Jay from entering the room.
you held your gun tight in your hand and hid in a corner, praying to every god you knew of that he wouldn't come by this room.
much to your horror, the sound of footsteps was getting closer to your ears, and you felt your heartbeat accelerate.
you clutched your gun close to your chest, and tried calming yourself and think about your next move.
were you going to kill Jay if he came? after all, he did say you deserved to be killed, and you suspected that he also had a gun with him.
despite it being legitimate defense, you couldn't imagine ending someone else's life, but being in Jay's hands was worse than death and you couldn't let him end your life. he had no right to. only you could do so.
as the footsteps got closer your will to live only got smaller and smaller, to almost non-existent.
“Y/N !” you heard him yell, making your heart skip a beat.
“y/n, open the- open the door please” he pleaded, his sudden tone change freezing your blood.
“y/n open the door” your brain fogged as you looked intensely at your gun, hands trembling.
“y/n, can we not fight any more please? can we not fight any more...” he asked, sounding more and more desperate with each question.
“y/n, sure, you're scared, i've been there, i can set you free” he tried reassuring you. your eyes looked at the door then at the gun, not knowing what to do.
“y/n, don't make me come in there, i'm gonna count to three!” he yelled.
panicking you took your gun, did you last prayers, put the gun to your head.
“one!” you cried some more, your hand shaking, not believing what you were about to do.
“two!” he screamed, and you pulled the trigger, and dropped to the floor.
“fuck it!” he said violently opening to the door to find you dead, on the floor, blood running down your forehead and face.
Jay immediately ran to your side, tears spilling on his cheeks.
“no... god... no... y/n!” he said through sobs, holding you in his arms.
“please don't leave me alone,” he begged, hoping a miracle would happen and bring you back to him, “you were all i could trust,” he hung his head low, crying, “i can't do this alone...”
remorsefully, he grabbed his own gun, looked at your body laying helplessly on the ground, and without any hesitation, Jay put the gun to his own head, aware that life was now not worth living if you weren't alive and at his side, and so, he pulled the trigger, in hopes of finding you in the afterlife.
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PERM TAG LIST! : @stacey-stonem, @sh1mzu, @axartia, @echantedrose, @leeknowbuttsmasher, @nikipedia07, @deafeningballoonnacho, @sristsblog,
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