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#jan valentine
ms-scarletwings · 5 months
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cry-ptidd · 3 months
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Me and my sister watched Hellsing together. Here's her opinion on the characters
- Alucard: "He's a cunt, but he's entertaining. I'd probably pay to see him in a strip club. I didn't like him and his shit-eating grin and 'master' bullshit at first, but he grew on me quick and i don't like that he grew on me. He's a complex character, and he's hot asf when he cries. Also I wish we'd seen his Dracula form for longer; that was awesome. Him and Anderson had a thing going on."
- Seras: "Didn't really mind her at first, but liked her after she drank blood. Her transformation and the guns are really fucking cool. I didn't like her voice and her whining at first but it got better after a few episodes. I like her when her personality became a little bit more spunky. Her story's fucked up."
- Integra: "Absolute bad bitch. Her attitude reminds me of myself so idk if I should like it or hate it, she's got a lot of pride which I respect. Really human and I like it, she takes no one's shit and she's a badass. Didn't even FLINCH when she got her eye shot out. Girlboss. She gives me ace vibes also."
- Walter: "I liked him, he was funny. And then he betrayed everyone and became emo. He gave good advice, and he was cool as hell with that wise older veteran vibe. I'm disappointed in him, but the plot twist was actually good. You'd notice the signs if you suspected him from the beginning."
- Pip: "He's FINE. I'd braid his hair any day. I was in love and then I mourned. I'm widowed. He was hilarious, plus his voice actor nailed the French. My favorite character. Screeched when he came back. He's a good leader and I loved his speeches, also his death made me cry. And I don't often cry when watching anime."
- Anderson: "kinda neutral. I didn't like him at first, he was obnoxious as fuck. Then he respected women and opposed Maxwell and his orders so he grew in my esteem a bit. His character is cool as fuck tho. I wish he didn't turn into a monster, he fell to the same level as Alucard. It's like human greed or desperation for power. Him and Alucard had a thing going on."
- Enrico Maxwell: "Lucius Malfoy. I hate him but not the one I hate most."
- Heinkel & Yumie: "Really like these two lesbians. So cool and I respect their resolve, especially Heinkel's. Rip Yumi. You were cool. Heinkel being intersex is a dope detail, she's very androgynous too. I like their designs."
- The major: "Augustus Gloop? I like the fact he refused vampirism, that was cool, but he's an actual fucking sociopath and I hate him"
- The Captain: "Ngl, I actually find him quite dope, aside from the nazi thing. Literally no one respected him, that shit had me crying. His face is pretty and his tits are big, even if he looks a bit goofy at times. Wish we'd seen more of him. I felt kinda bad when he got defeated."
- Schrödinger: "I want this thing dead"
- Rip van winkle: "She gives me the vibes of a Dr Seuss character."
- Zorin: "Bleach Ichigo knockoff. Fuck this bitch in particular I hate her"
- The Valentine brothers: "A slav squat necrophile and his gay brother that used to be a runway model but got cancelled after a scandal"
Overall: A hit, neither of us expected her to like it. She likes the political and literary aspects, and also finds the characters interesting. She doesn't really know how to feel about the ending; she considers it realistic and a good end, but she wished it was more epic. But from a writing perspective it's good. Also she lowkey wished Alucard would turn Integra into a vampire, just because it would be cool. Now we send each other memes about it. She calls Nendocard a whore when she passes by him, but says she'd buy a Pip nendo in a heartbeat
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east-side-militia · 1 month
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Happy (headcanon) birthday to these two bad bitches ong!!
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dollwrites · 5 months
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𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 ∣ smut ( minors dni ), fem!reader, heavy noncon, abuse and injuries, threats of violence against reader in detail, graphic depictions of blood, foot fucking, all characters featured are aged 18+
𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 ∣ please reblog && leave feedback. not proofread so there’s probably mistakes. thanks for reading < 3
𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘁𝗼𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟯 ∣ day twenty-six [ jan valentine + foot fucking ]
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the last dime-shaped burn was still sizzling on your flesh, a faint gray stream curling up from your ankle as your bare feet rub against his lap. your skin was already littered with marks— bruises, cuts, burns. dozens of them. a staggering reminder, most of which would permanently marr your visage, that you were at the vampire’s mercy.
“You know what you are now, don’tcha?” his smirk was wide and toothy, twisting his ragged features into a chilling sight to behold. the gold hoops in his lower lips glint as he speaks, catching what little bit of light still held from the flickering, broken bulb that hung from the ceiling. you were grateful that your surroundings were mostly concealed in darkness, but you could smell the carnage. all the blood and gun smoke. the stench of the death of your friends and coworkers that lingered in the hallways. you were humiliated enough when you couldn’t even fight back, but the fact that Jan Valentine hadn’t even bothered to kill you yet, and instead had played with you, was even worse. treating you like a child’s doll, he left his marks on you, and pretzeled you into whatever position he wanted to torture you in next, and you could do nothing to stop it. unlike your stronger and more courageous comrades, who’d fought to their demise, you were left for the vampires to do with as they pleased. you sniffle, but the tears had mostly dried on your face, and look up at him with big, scared eyes. you’d already learnt better than to beg him for mercy, if your busted lip was an indication. Jan grinned wider, cocked his head to the side, and snickered. “You’re my little fuckslut now.” his razor’s edge fangs were stained red. with whose blood? you didn’t want to know. “A piece of meat, for me to carve up however the fuck I want to.”
you flinch at that, and push your trembling toes against his cock more fervently, allowing the entire sole of your soft foot to massage the rigid veins. he seems harder now that he’s describing cutting you.
“Thinking about making you bleed some more is making me hard, fuck.” Jan hisses, malevolently, as he reaches for you. one, rough grip takes hold of the hair at your scalp, and you cry out, closing your eyes tightly as he jerks you closer. “I think that’s what I’ll do. Make you a real prime cut of fuckmeat. Take away any part of you that wants to tell me no, or fight back, and leave only the places I can stick my dick untouched. What do you say? Want me to cut you?”
you shake your head, whimpering a nearly incoherent babble of no’s and god no’s.
“Then you better make every limb that that you want to keep useful, because only the parts of you that I can fuck interest me.” his threat spurs you, and you whimper, rubbing your soles against his cock with more urgency. you had a feeling he wasn’t bluffing, and that the sick bastard would actually cut your feet off if you didn’t make them useful to him. and that meant servicing him. “Keep going,” Jan grinned like the devil, jutting his hips forward as the toe of his heavy boot taps against the floor. “Wanna see my dick between your feet. Make it feel as good as a pussy, and I’ll letcha keep ‘em once I’ve shot my load on ‘em.”
you physically cringe and recoil at his words— they were so vulgar. but, you do as instructed and clamp your feet together, creating a tight gap for his cock to slide into, and you pump them up and down, your motions awkward and erratic, lacking skill. after all, you’ve never had to do this for anyone before. but you got the feeling this wouldn’t be the last time you were forced to do this for him.
“You’re gettin’ it.” Jan grunted in mild approval, and launched a wad of spit into his own lap. it soaked your feet, and you had no choice but to smear it over his twitching, swollen cock as they stroked it. your eyes flit to the sight of your disgraced, bruised feet and then away, humiliated and ashamed. Jan laughs, a loud and raspy cackle, stomping one foot close to you. “What, you still shy?” he taunts, menacing and cruel. “Stupid bitch, I’m not even close to being done here. You better get used to watching me fuck every part of ya, and show some gratitude for my choice to keep you alive while I do it.”
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kyogen1273 · 6 months
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tierlist on their breath and wether I’d smooch them (yes Ik that it’s lesbians not lebanese)
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thirstyforlulu · 1 month
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OH! Maddie! Since it's valentines day what about some valentines day/love hc's for Alucard and Jan valentine?
A day late, my bad
Alucard:
I could see Lulu being the type that sees Valentine’s Day as one big scam
He knows it’s just a marketing ploy
But that doesn’t mean he won’t do anything for you
You are the most amazing part of his life, he enjoys any excuse to celebrate you
To avoid the more corporate side of the holiday, he plans ahead to avoid buying into the markups
He will usually either hand make something or find a very sentimental gift outside of the traditional stuff
He will buy you candies, but not the overpriced Valentine’s Day specials
However, if you really like the traditional stuff like teddy bears and roses, he will provide
He always gives you a lot of stuff, and insists you two spend the day together
Every year is different, but you always do something
And the night always ends with passionate lovemaking
Jan:
He eats up the cheesy corporate stuff
He will get you the biggest teddy bear he can find, the biggest heart shaped box of chocolates, and as many balloons as he can hold
But he’s going to down play it
“Oh you know, they had a pre-holiday sale so I picked something up while I was out.”
He acts like it’s no big deal, but then you catch him grinning as you start eating the candies 
It’s kind of an ego thing that he got you big stuff, but also a love thing
If you thank him he’ll say something along the lines of “Well I had to get my babydoll something.”
Don’t ever throw out something he got you, he would be crushed
Even though he acts like these gifts were meaningless, they’re coming directly from his heart
And at the end of the day, he’ll want his “gift” 👀
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grimescum-2 · 5 months
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also some hellsing guys
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alucardsathomewife · 6 months
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What if jan and abridged alucard battled instead of alucard and luke
Same thing would happen only faster
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crownth3w1tch · 2 months
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It's been forever since I drew my favorite loser vampire brothers- Luke and Jan Valentine!! 💛💚
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grimescum · 2 months
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this was so hard but i think i managed to make it look ok 😭 free to use if u wanna
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strawberry--sodas · 1 month
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Happy birthday to THEM‼️‼️☝️☝️💋
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h3llsingshxwtyx3 · 6 months
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Drew my boy Jan 🖤
What do we think of him lmao 🫠
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h0m0cideh0tline · 5 months
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Do hellsing fans still exist
Anyway uh
Shitty Jan drawing while I make more Koby art
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east-side-militia · 1 month
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Millennium headcanons: One thing they never shared with anyone
The major: Cannibalized a dead soldier's arm once. They weren't even out of food and desparate or anything, he just wanted to know how it tastes.
The doctor: Went out drinking once, blacked out and woke up with his septum pierced. He hasn't been out drinking since
The captain: Is perfectly capable of learning german and speaking, he just doesn't want to.
Rip Van Winkle: Insists she only likes opera and classical music, but likes jazz too. No one must ever know.
Zorin Blitz: Knows all of the things in the list because she likes snooping around in people's memories.
Schrodinger: Actually hates anime but has to be quiet about it because his loser fathers would disown him.
Jan Valentine: Is the one who pierced Dok's septum. It was a dare by Luke that earned him 5 dollars and a cig.
Tubalcain Alhambra: Everyone assumes he's an older gentleman, but his appearence is mostly the result of bad habits. In other words, physically he's 28 but looks 40.
Luke Valentine: Has successfully infiltrated several conspiracy groups (flat earth, fake moon landing, chemtrails etc.) for shits and giggles, but actually became quite notorious in the scene.
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azrail-secundus · 4 months
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"Your job, gentlemen, is to fight these monsters with bullets, garlic, and holy water. Put a stake through its heart, cut off his head, burn the corpse, scatter the ashes at a crossroads. For further instructions, consult Bram Stoker." (c) Долгожданная полная версия сета. Большое спасибо всем ребятам за такой ламповый сет. Alucard - Лось Тьмы integra fairbrook Wingates Hellsing - Мария Рихтер Seras Victoria - Александра Сальникова Walter C. Dornez - Эрик Ворон Jan Valentine - Azrail Фотограф - Николай Шевченко Гримёр - Дарья Клименкова, Евгения Харламова Ассистент - Кирилл Абрамов https://vk.com/album-143050067_269416737
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nuclearforest · 9 months
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Crack Millennium headcanons because nothing is serious and they all deserve to be mocked like the fools they are:
Major Montana Max: an idol stan. His fav is Love Live and his fav generation is Mu's. He has multiple instances of the rhythm game app and has spent literal houses worth of money to win his favorite gacha pulls.
Doc: runs the anime bathtub wiki and can identify anime girls by their feet.
Captain: probably has an OnlyFans or influencer level Instagram where he works out and sells his bath water to fund all his furry commissions because all of Millennium's funding goes to Montana's gacha addiction.
Zorin: is a reigning champion on the hit reality TV show Naked and Afraid. She has almost killed and eaten her partners because they were useless and she didn't want to see a dick for a month.
Rip: is a Disney adult. Her room is stuffed with merch and when Frozen comes out everybody in the base learns the words to Let It Go.
Schrodinger: is given access to the equivalents of those 1950s chemistry kits and has a copy of the anarchists cookbook. He's about halfway through all the recipes.
Jan: is The Man to consult on dick pic composition. Surprising understanding of lighting, pose, and frame content. Regularly consults with the Captain on how to maximize thirst traps.
Luke: most definitely catfishes people on dating apps as a hobby. His longest running is an LDR going on 2 years.
Tubalcain: has a thing for cougars. Regularly goes out to his local casinos to pick up old tourists and get pampered for the night.
Bonus Dark Walter: goes to various slam poetry nights exclusively to dunk on the poets. He has an Oxford education and does nothing with it beyond being a Mean Girl to the point he's regularly kicked out if venues. His own edgy ass poetry is surprisingly good.
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