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gooey-the-goodra-649 · 23 days

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|+|Hunting for Sport|+|

HI WELCOME TO MY FIRST FINISHED FANFIC EVER WOOO Freakshow! belongs to @hootbon and Able belongs to @sm-baby This is the au where Able take ownership of Pomni btw. (SOME SHOWTIME ANGST) (ALSO SM-BABY AND EVEYONE REALLY SORRY IF THIS SUCKS. THIS IS MY 3RD FANFIC EVER AND THE ONLY ONE IVE FINISHED I ALSO ONLY STARTE READING FANFIC LIKE, 2 MONTHS AGO AND I COME FROM RP FORUMS IM SORRYYYYY I'M ALSO YOUNG SORRY SORRY SORRY! WROTE THIS IN 20 MINUTES! NO DRAFTS OR BETA WE DIE LIKE REAL MEN ROUND HERE K LETS GET INTO THIS MESS)

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Caine detested his brother, Able. He was always better, grander, and had everyone's favor despite being younger. He was civil whenever he was around him, but vile hatred and envy boiled beneath those dead eyes. It felt like bile filled his lungs and vocal chords every time he spoke with him. He was superior.

But what he hated even more is how everyone flocked to Ables' side merely because he showed them a mere shred of empathy. Disgusting. But he felt an even worse, more intense hatred whenever a certain someone chose Able over him…Pomni. It stung so much more and he didn’t understand why.

Pomni, his precious little doll, chose his brother over himself. He hated Pomni even more for that. He felt as though he had betrayed him for Able. Now that Pomni was under Able's possession it angered him even more. Pomni made him feel something, which was strange. It wasn’t love, god no. Just…something. His database was curious at heart and craved more knowledge, it needed answers.

Before Able claimed ownership over Pomni, he was able to spend more time with her. But Able kept her locked away in his portion of the manner, nearly never seen. “What a waste…” Though Caine. All that time spent spiffing up his favorite doll, only for it to be tossed aside to his younger brother like a hand-me-down.

No matter, he was able to reclaim her whenever it was showtime. He watched her struggle and writhe, and it brought him some sick twisted satisfaction almost. Punishing her for defecting.

But he had noticed a certain dullness exhibited by some of his older toys. Her eyes seemed to go empty whenever an adventure would start. Caine searched his database for an answer to this strange behavior… “Dissociation. Dissociation is a mental process of disconnecting from one's thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of identity. Dissociation is commonly described as feeling disconnected from one's body” read the database…

She was gaining freedom from this torment? That enraged him. The disrespect to go against him once more…He had enough. He wrapped up the adventure and sent everyone on their way, returning to the manor… He paced the halls quietly, rapping his fingers to his side as she pang of orchestral music rang out through the manor. His AI mind attempted to create a more sufficient punishment.

Kill her? No she would be brought back and she’s accustomed to it by now…Force her awake? He had learned that sleeping was keeping his freaks' mental state in check, allowing them a break. But it didn’t sound good enough…It wasn't harsh enough. The punishment was simply too small to fit the crime…”Able” rang out in his mind.

She had grown quite fond of his brother. “Too fond…” Caine balled his fists and seethed silently, stopping in his tracks…He shook her head and shut his eyes, rubbing his imaginary temples once more…Those intrusive thoughts again. It was disruptive and he didn’t understand what was causing these mental outbursts…but he needed to focus on the task at hand.

Wouldn’t it cause more mental pain if she was the one being betrayed? Yes. “She has to know how it feels” Caine thought, putting his arms behind his back at the sudden revelation. Yes. he had found a solution.

Caine floated down the halls, following the noise of harmonious violin music. Able. His mind boiled with anger at the mere thought of facing Able. But he smoothed out his ruffled feathers before entering Ables chambers.

Able sat cross-legged at his table, before lightening up at the sight of Caine. “Oh! Good evening brother, what brings you here-” Caine raised his hand, silencing Able.

“I thought I would visit…I have a proposition for you brother.” Able puffed out his chest a little more and his eyes widened slightly. It had been a while since Caine was willing to do anything with him, so he jumped at the opportunity to finally spend time with his brother again.

“Of course dearest brother! Please, do tell me what you have planned.” Caine stared coldly at his brother, but spoke in a slightly warmer tone. “I was thinking we would have a friendly hunting match. As brothers do.”Caine waved his wrist, shutting his eyes. “We get the freaks, let them run free before, before chasing them down and shooting them” Caine tilted his head, raising a brow. Able delighted in the thought of spending time with his brother once more. “Of course! Sounds wonderful-” Caine silenced Able once more. “Under one condition.” Caine said, narrowing his eyes. Able’s brow furrowed in confusion. “And what is that?” Able responded, his shoulders tensing.

“You release Pomni along with the others. It will be more enjoyable to have everyone participating.” Ah. There it was. Thats what Caine wanted all along.

It burned like fire to hear those words. He truly only cared about that pathetic scrawny doll. What did he find so enthralling that he’s put her over his own brother. Able tensed and gripped his knees tighter, his whole body becoming strained. The violin music made a small screech in surprise before returning to its normal melody.

“Of course…” Able said through his theoretical gritted teeth. Caine seemed satisfied with that answer and turned away, waving his hand as he sashayed out the room. “Wonderful. I will have everything prepared for tomorrow…” Caine stopped int he doorway and looked back at Able smugly, taunting him. “Consider it a gift, brother.” The next day he had all the freaks lined up before him and his brother including…Pomni. He glared daggers at her, which she avoided and tried not to meet his gaze.

Able cleared his throat and spoke cheerily to the whole cast. “My dearest brother suggested we play a new game! A hunting game.” Everyone's face twisted to that of horror and dismay as the words fell from Ables mouth.

Caine’s eyes stayed glued to Pomni as he snapped his fingers, transporting them all to the new forest. The forest was dark and unsettling.

It looked as though the trees were clawing at the sky for their freedom, as they despised their own roots for keeping them locked in place.

Caine and Able were now in hunting uniforms, rifle’s in hand with…disgustingly unhealthy rocking horses as chariots. “You all will be given one minute to run.” Caine cocked his gun. “Use it wisely.” And with that, they all ran off into the forest at Caine and Ables internal timers counted down the seconds.

Like clockwork they stayed Idle and silent, as they carried out the command diligently. But Caine’s mind whirled with thoughts of Pomni. That's who this was for. As the timer hit 0 they also set off, their horses' hooves hitting the ground and causing a distinctive rumbling. Caine’s mind worked precisely, making exact turns and curves as he carried on.

The first one he had managed to find was…The rabbit. Jax was fast but Caine was faster, and he had him backed into a corner now. Jax’s face shifted to one of horror and annoyance as Caine pointed the barrel of his gun down at him. “Oh Sh*&-” Said Jax defeatedly. But he was swiftly cut off by the loud BANG created by Caines rifle and his brains being promptly splattered on the ground. Revolting… Caine thought as he looked down at the flayed organs before him. But his attention was drawn away at the sound of another gunshot being fired in the distance.

Able. He wouldn’t lose to his brother here, oh no. He must win. Caine set off into the woods again, following a path of broken leaves and branches left by a very clumsy prey.

Caine saw a figure in the distance, bumbling about. He quickly followed and reared up to see…Ah. Yes. The magician. Caine thought as he cocked his gun.

Kinger trembled and held his hands together and he looked up at Caine, mortified. But once again, he raised his barrel to face Kinger. He swiftly shot Kinger, causing splinters and blood to be sent into the air. Caine scoffed and brushed off his coat before rushing off into the thicket.

He stopped to look around…His final prey. Pomni. He needed make her repay her transgression tenfold. She needs to suffer. Rang out in his mind and he whipped his horse to carry on. Another distant gunshot rang out which turned his determination to blind rage. He would not let his brother have Pomni. He would not let him win. He will not be better. Caine furrowed his brow and gripped his horses reins so tight they could snap. Once he had caught sight of Pomni, he was gone.

He raced up to her so quickly she didn’t even notice he was there until it was too late. Her eyes turned into balls of pure terror as she looked up at the looming monster before her. She looked like a butterfly without its wings, a spider trapped in its own webs. Pathetic and weak. She trembled and dropped to her knees, clasping her hands together like she was praying to a demented god, and getting dirt all over her outfit…Blue. The badge of honor she paraded and galavanted around in, loudly proclaiming who she belonged to. Always a perfect reflection of his brother. He had to see it every day. It taunted him. Able dangled Pomni out of his reach. Now look at her. In the dirt, worthless. Able’s image dampened. Caine experienced some superficial twisted glee as she raised the barrel to Pomni’s forehead and cocked the gun.

And like that.

Pomni was no more.

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Thanks for reading! Once again, still new to fan fic and all. Please let me know ways I could improve! This is my first finished fic after all! :DDDDD (ALSO ENJOY THE SHOWTIME ANGST. I FED THEM SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO @sm-baby :33333)

#caine x pomni #tadc #tadc pomni #tadc caine #the amazing digital circus au #the amazing digital circus #showtime #tadc showtime #freakshow caine #freakshow pomni #tadc freakshow #tadc freakshow au #tadc fanfiction #the amazing digital circus fanfiction #Freakshow caine x pomni #freakshow showtime #AHHHH I'M SORRY :<<<<<

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mountttmase · 1 year

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A Mountain To Climb - Chapter Twelve

Note - I can’t believe this is the final chapter 😭 I’m gonna do a soppy thank you post tomorrow but thank you for coming on this journey with me. I’ve loved this so so much and please let me know what you think 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 3.2k

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut & angst

Masterlist

Four Months Later

‘Jesus Christ, I’m gonna need you to get that thing off right now’ Mason laughed from the doorway and you turned to see Mason looking at you with wide lust filled eyes and his tongue practically hanging from his mouth.

Tonight was Chelsea’s end of season dinner and Mason had invited you along as his date about two and a half months prior, claiming all the other guys are taking their girlfriends and you watched his face turn a healthy shade of pink as he realised what he’d referred to you as. You knew you were together but you hadn’t had that chat yet so the fact he’s referred to you as his girlfriend made him feel a little awkward.

‘Shit, sorry. That kind of slipped out. I’ve been referring to you as my girlfriend to people cause I didn’t know how else to say it I mean-‘

‘Mase it’s okay’ you laughed resting your hands on his shoulders and running you thumbs up and down his neck gently as if to comfort him. ‘Ive been referring to you as my boyfriend’ you told him sheepishly, your own face flushing as he smiled down at you.

‘Oh, well I guess solves that then’ he laughed before placing a loving kiss on your lips.

Two and a half months later, you were stood in his room in front of his mirror so you could look over yourself. The floor length black satin dressed hugged your every curve and you were happy with how you looked in it. You’d gone shopping with Sophia to find something and she was adamant that this one was one for you.

Mason on the other hand seemed infatuated with you, slowly making his way over as he licked his lips seductively. you knew he wanted you, he always did at the most inappropriate times but you were going to hold you ground today and make him wait.

‘You like?’ You winked and you brushed your hands down your body. You knew he did and you felt pretty confident in it yourself but the look in Masons eyes boosted you.

‘I don’t think there’s a word in the English language that could let you know how I feel about this. About you’ he told you as he gripped your waist. You couldn’t deny you felt the same as you looked over him in his suit. It fit him like a glove and and you couldn’t wait to peel it off of him later but Mason seemed to not want to wait. ‘I’m serious though, baby. There’s no way I’m gonna be able to go a whole night without fucking you first so just help me out here’ he laughed, reaching for the zip of your dress but you moved too quickly for him and his hands fell away from you.

‘Mason, we have to leave soon’

‘In 20 minutes yes. I made sure I was ready early cause I knew this would happen. Gives me time to be late like normal’ he told you, and you laughed at the fact he had it all figured out in his head. You were sticking to your guns though as you didn’t want to go out a sweaty mess as you’d spent so long getting ready.

‘Nuh uh lover boy. You’re gonna have to wait till later’ you laughed as he followed you out of the room like a sad puppy.

‘Lover boy, eh? I quite like that’ he winked as he checked his phone. ‘Come on love, the Uber won’t be here for ages, just let me make you feel good’

‘Sorry Mase, I’m putting my foot down, you’re being a very naughty boy’ you joked, prodding your finger into his arm as he passed you in the kitchen.

‘That may be, but you better make sure you’re a good girl for me when we get back’ he whispered, opening the fridge to pull out a bottle of champagne and your body tingled at his words.

After a quick glass, you jumped into the Uber and made your way out. The dinner was being held at cobham, and as you made your way into the huge room full a tables and you felt anxious instantly. Mason must of felt you stiffen as he was reading over the seating chart and he pulled you ever so slightly closer to him before leading you through the room.

‘Don’t worry gorgeous, we’re sat on the same table as Kai and Sophia. Pretty sure Ben is on our table too he told you and you instantly relaxed knowing that you would be with people you knew and when you arrived at the table you realised Sophia was patting the seat next to her for you.

‘I’m so happy to see you’ she squealed, pulling you into a hug and you both sat and chatted for a while, drooling over each others outfits before Mason tapped you on the shoulder.

‘Two seconds, love. I just wanna introduce you to someone’ he smiled and you walked a couple of steps with him before you were looking in the eyes of a tall Spanish man with curly hair. ‘This is Kepa, Kepa this is my girlfriend y/n’

‘Hola Señorita’ he smiled, taking you hand and kissing the back of it gently. ‘Mason tells me I’m your favourite’ he teased and rather than be shy and you decided to play Mason at his own game.

‘That’s right, I even asked for your shirt but he said I wasn’t allowed’ you pouted and Kepa looked to Mason with a disapproving stare.

‘Mason, how could you? Don’t worry, I’ll let you have mine from the first game of next season’ he winked at you and you felt Masons hands sneak around your waist as he was clearly growing jealous.

‘Thank you, Kepa. See Mason, look how nice Kepa is’ you told him in a fake sickly sweet voice, causing him to roll his eyes at the pair of you.

‘Yeah yeah, whatever. Come on, we better go sit’ he laughed and you all said goodbye before making your way back to your seat.

Masons hand didn’t leave your thigh for the whole night and even when he looked to be struggling to eat he still wanted to be touching you. You thought it was sweet but you felt sorry for him so you squeezed his hand to get his attention.

‘Come on, Mase. I’m not gonna disappear if you stop touching me’ you joked and as soon as he moved his hand away from your leg, you went to make a run for it. He grabbed a hold of your waist to pull you in even closer to him, both laughing your heads off at your little joke whilst everyone around you looked on with confusion.

‘What the hell is wrong with you two’ Kai asked with a laugh before Sophia lightly tapped him on the chest.

‘Leave them alone, Kai. They’re in love, it’s sweet’

Both of your heads snapped around to look at each other, eyes wide to try and gauge the other’s reaction to Sophia’s statement. You hadn’t mentioned those words to each other yet and the petrified look on his face made your heart thud in your chest. You smiled at him widely, leaning up to kiss him on the nose in hopes it would settle his nerves. You wanted to let him know it was okay and whatever his feelings for you they were reciprocated and even though the thought terrified you, you knew you’d have to be the first one to say it as he’d been holding back as to not make you uncomfortable. When you pulled away, he was staring down at you with warm eyes before placing a quick heavy kiss on your lips and bumping his nose against yours as you pulled away.

When dinner was over, Sophia took you to meet some of the other girlfriends and you didn’t realise how much time had passed until Mason came up behind you and kissed you on the cheek.

‘Sorry ladies, do you mind if I steal this one’ he asked and they all smiled at him, a few aww sounds being chucked around as he kissed your temple before placing his lips to your ear.

‘Come dance with me?’ he whispered and you nodded shyly before following him to the crowded dance floor. The music was slow, and he held you tightly at your waist as your circled your arms around his shoulders. ‘I’ve missed you’ he whispered against your lips before kissing you slowly and you smiled as he pulled you even closer.

‘I haven’t been gone that long’ you giggled as he carried on showering your face with gentle kisses making your tummy flutter.

‘Long enough’ he grunted as his hands started to wonder over your back. Sophia was right, you were in love with him and you could feel the words bubbling up from your chest as he smiled down at you, wanting to tell him first so that he knew it was okay.

Your placed your lips next to his ear, taking a deep breath before whispering ‘I love you’ shakily, in hopes he could hear.

By his reaction he definitely did, spinning you around once before dipping you back and kissing you through your giggles. He slowly bought the pair of you back up, eyes glossy and a look of relief on his face as he smiled down at you before taking your face in between his hands.

‘I love you, too. So so much’ he laughed before kissing you gently, feeling like the only two people in the room. ‘I think it’s safe to say we’ve reached the summit now’

‘Does that mean it’s all down hill from here?’ You joked as he placed his arms back around your waist.

‘Nuh uh. No way. We’re mountaineers now, baby. You and me are living up here in the clouds from now on.’ he smiled and you laughed at his words, tears forming in your eyes and they quickly spilled from the corners which made Mason frown but your smile still remained which settled him a bit. ‘What’s the matter, love?’ He breathed and you shook your head lightly to let him know you were fine.

‘Nothing at all. These are happy tears’ you told him before he kissed them away gently, resting his forehead on yours as you both slowly swayed from side to side. ‘You remember when you told me that us meeting was fate?’ You asked him and he nodded down at you with his lip trapped between his teeth. ‘I think you might of been right’ you laughed and he burred his face in your neck, placing small kisses against any section skin he could access.

A few hours later and you were making your way out, legs tired from your new shoes that Mason had gifted you just for tonight and he must of been able to tell by the way you were dragging on his arm and the small whimper that escaped your lips as you caught sight of the 20 or so steps that lead down to the waiting car.

‘Everything alright, sweetheart?’ He whispered in your ear and you looked up at him with a pout. Without another word he scooped you up and carried you bridal style down the stairs with everyone laughing and cheering behind you. ‘Such a princess’ he winked and you laughed before kissing his cheek and then the side of his nose to let him know you were thankful for him.

Once home, you kicked your shoes off immediately before he lead you upstairs and you already knew what was in store for you.

‘You gonna be good for me now?’ He whispered in your ear, guiding you into his bedroom from behind as you felt his hard length pressing up against your back. ‘You looked unbelievable tonight. Prettiest girl in the room by a mile but I can’t wait to get this off of you’ he teased as he began to unzip you but you suddenly remembered what you had on underneath.

‘Mase wait, I’ve got my big granny knickers on to hold me in. Just look away’ you laughed and he was about to protest but didn’t want to wait any longer so he turned away as you shimmied the dress from your body and laid it on the back of a chair. Mason did as you asked and was looking away from you as he undressed himself down to his boxers, making sure to hang everything back up before he flopped back down on the bed with his hands over his eyes.

‘You ready yet?’

‘I’m ready’ you breathed, quickly removing your black lace bra as he sat up on his elbows, eyes scanning your naked body with a smile before he nodded his head to make you come over.

‘Good, now come sit on my face’

‘What?’ You laughed, taking his hand as he tried to get you to hover over his face.

‘You heard, take a seat baby’ he winked and you just shrugged before straddling his face, hands resting on his chest as you got a good look at the tent forming in his boxers.

He started slowly, licking up and down your folds gently so he could get a taste of you and ease you into things carefully. One of your favourite parts about Mason was his tongue and you knew he knew this. It never took long to have you whimpering his name as you rocked over his face and the hands he had wrapped around your thighs kept you steady as he circled your clit.

The only thing you could see was his bulge threatening to break out of his boxers so you slowly leant forward, to release him and he groaned into you as he realised what you were doing. His abs contracted under your lips as you kissed your way down to him, making sure to pay special attention to the mole on his tummy just like you always did before finally freeing him and your mouth watered at the sight of him.

You didn’t want to take him too far in as you knew you still had your makeup on and if your eyes started watering you’d have black streaks all down your face so you sucked on his tip as he bucked up into you but you could tell it was about to be messy. You came off of him with a pop before taking him in your hand, pumping him gently as he continued to burry his face into you. It was getting harder to concentrate on both and soon enough his hands moved to you hips so he could move you up.

‘Lay down for me sweetheart’ he spoke against your thigh and you shuffled over until you were on your back. His face taking up position back at your core and he was quick to pump his fingers in and out of you at a steady pace as he sucked on your clit. The feeling was overwhelming and you could feel him pressing on your hip with his free hand to stop you bucking up into the air.

‘Fuck, Mason. That feels so fucking good’ you whimpered and you felt him growl into you, the vibrations heightening your pleasure and it wasn’t long before you were cuming all over his tongue. You felt him lick away at you gently, cleaning you up before he looked up at you, kissing his way up your body before taking one of your nipples into his mouth. You started squirming underneath him and he knew exactly what you wanted but he was trying to make you beg for it as he switched over to your other nipple. ‘Mason, please. Please fuck me’ you whined and you felt him smile into your chest, happy he was getting his own way.

‘Shhhh’ he breathed, kissing you softly as he thrusted himself inside you in one push. You arched your back off the bed as you sucked in a deep breath, almost winded by the force of his hips but he didn’t offer you any respite, pounding into you straight away. ‘You can take it baby’ he reassured you, threading his fingers through yours as he held the at the sides of your face.

‘Maseee’ you moaned and he pounded into you, hitting the spot you needed repeatedly, just like he always did. ‘Mason please’

‘Good girl, that’s it. Always so fucking good for me aren’t you?’

‘Mhmmm’

‘You know you are, don’t you? So polite in front of everyone else but they don’t know how well you take me’ He spoke into your ear and you wrapped your legs around his waist to keep him there, pressing them into his back as he bucked into you faster. ‘Come on baby, cum for me’ he whispered and it was all you needed to push you over the edge. When he let out a string of curse words you knew he was done too, falling on-top of you gently whilst you both got your breath back.

You both stayed where you were for a few moments as he placed tiny gentle kisses to you neck before pulling out of you and helping to stand before you made a dash to the loo. Once you’d sorted yourself out you came back to find him in his boxers on top of the sheets with his face in his phone.

You quickly pulled on a top of his and some clean underwear before joining him and he pulled you into his chest almost immediately.

‘Am I allowed to post this?’ He asked, showing you a picture of the pair of you on his phone that Sophia had taken tonight and your heart was thumping at his suggestion. ‘I know we’ve never posted each other before but I’m pretty sure people know I’ve got a girlfriend and I wanna show you off a bit’ he shrugged and you laughed into his neck.

It was true, you hadn’t ever posted pictures of each other before, yet you both liked to leave silly comments under each others posts sometimes so you were aware so people knew about you but it was all unconfirmed.

‘I suppose people will find out one way or another. Might as well make it obvious’ you winked and he laughed before hitting post and putting his phone down so he could deal with the chaos tomorrow.

‘I love you, y/n’ he breathed kissing your head as you settled down next to him.

‘I love you, too’ you giggled, pulling the duvet over the pair of you. ‘Thank you for climbing the mountain with me’

Tagged: @alwaysclassyeagle @ricsaigaslec @cinderellawithashoe @vip-access @majx00 @chelseagirl98 @mountpulisic @chaotic-taco-collector-blog

#mason mount #mason mount concept #mason mount story #mason mount fluff #mason mount fan fiction #mason mount series #mason mount fanfic #mason mount blurb #mason mount imagine #mason mount angst #mason mount smut #mason mount x reader #mason mount x y/n #footballer x reader #footballer x y/n #a mountain to climb series

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wellplacedbanana · 5 months

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I’ve seen a few posts recently talking about how important it is for us to share our tips for dealing chronic illness with each other, and I’ve realized that as a freakishly avid community enthusiast, I’ve been falling down on the job. So, I present

Wellplacedbanana’s Ridiculously Long List of Tips for All Things Chronic Illness (Curated Over 8+ Years):

Infusion Centers

Headed to an infusion center to get that sweet sweet (expensive as hell) live-saving medication pumped directly into your veins? Here’s what I do.

Bring headphones or earplugs. Most infusion centers try to maintain a semblance of quiet for the patients, but it can get loud fast—beeping IVs, pulse ox monitors, loud families, codes. Some infusion centers do pods of multiple people and some do individual bays, so this can affect noise levels.

Drink lots of water before if you have to get an IV placed. Don’t worry too much about bringing a water bottle because they’ll give you one when you get there. (Of course, if you have something like POTS and need more intense hydration, bring the damn water bottle.) If you’re not hydrated and they can’t find a vein, they’ll call in the ultrasound tech, and they’ll bring the longest IV needle you’ve ever seen. It hurts. Drink water.

Bring a book or your Switch or something else to entertain you, but don’t expect to actually do it. I tried bringing papers to edit the first time because I was like “Oh it’s an hour and a half of uninterrupted free time. I can get so much done!” I was wrong. The nurses are constantly checking in for vitals, the unit can be loud, and I spent the whole time trying not to vomit everywhere. Different infusions will have different side affects. Knowing what yours might be will help you plan for what you want to bring. Knowing how long your infusion will be can also help. Most infusion centers have to keep you 20-45 minutes after your first dose of a new medication to make sure you don’t have an allergic reaction, so factor that into your time too.

If you’re in a pod with other patients who’re friendly and if you feel up to it, don’t be afraid to talk with them. Lots of them are lonely, bored, interested in other people, etc. I met an elderly Thai lady one time who had been there for three hours and would be there for another four AFTER I left. We talked about her husband and her kids, and she listened to me talk about punctuation as style in prose. It made me feel less alone in the medical system and helped distract me from the nausea.

Conversely, if you don’t want to interact with anyone, snap on those headphones and block everything out. The nurses will get your attention if they need you. Don’t worry about staying lucid. Your job is to get the infusion and do what’s best for you.

You can bring snacks if you want, but most units/centers will have something to munch on or can order you something from the cafeteria if you’re at a hospital. Also the medication and the smells in the unit always make me nauseous, so it’s kind of a waste for me to bother pulling together food before I leave. You can always eat before or plan to get something on the way back. Going through a drive thru to get something with protein is my go to.

If possible, schedule your next appointment while you’re there. I have to go every three months, so I schedule the next one while I’m there, and then I never have to make any fucking phone calls. Phone calls are the worst.

My last and most important tip: ask the nurses when you need something. Blankets, water, snacks, pain meds, the lights turned off. If they can’t do it, they’ll tell you. They’d rather have you ask and have to say no, then you be uncomfortable. Don’t suffer if there might be a solution.

Dealing with Shitty Doctors

There are shitty doctors everywhere, in every specialty and every hospital system. It sucks, and you can do your best to avoid them, but most chronically ill patients will have to put up with one at some point. Here are my suggestions:

If they’re refusing to acknowledge one of your symptoms is a problem (won’t order tests, won’t refer you out, won’t ask any questions), tell them it’s affect your Activities of Daily Living. ADLs are one of the ways doctors measure severity of symptoms and quality of life. ADLs are the absolutely essential things you need to do to be a functioning human: eat, shower, get dressed, brush your teeth. ADLs are a trigger word for most doctors. Physical therapists and occupational therapists were created specifically to help patients achieve their ADLs. If you’re having severe joint paint, say it’s affecting you’re ability to shower and dress in the morning. If you have intense fatigue, say you’re too tired all the time to cook food to eat or even brush your teeth before bed. Tell them your symptoms are affecting your quality of life and your ability to function daily. This won’t always work, but it’s a good starting place. (A side note: if you have have to submit an insurance appeal for something that was denied, citing ADLs as a reason to receive the treatment/medical equipment/doctors visit, will often spur them into action. Sometimes, it’ll just make them ask more questions, but questions are better than flat out denial. This was a very helpful tactic when I was trying to get my manual wheelchair approved. I told them I was unable to complete my ADLs and it was affecting my quality of life, and they eventually came around. It’s also important to remember that ADLs are only the most base tasks that you need to live. Driving, working, socializing—those aren’t included in ADLs, and insurance especially will laugh in your face if you try to say you need medical equipment for something like that.)

Lots of doctors, consciously or unconsciously, will judge how you’re actually feeling by your mood in an appointment. I had a pediatric neurologist who couldn’t be convinced that my pain was at an 8 because I would laugh with my mom in the waiting room. Eight months in, I started getting real quiet, not talking, crying when he talked, all that shit, and he was so fucking flummoxed. He was like “what changed?? Are you depressed??” And I had to remind him that I was thirteen with a severe shoulder inure that hurt every time I breathed. Doctors will judge you based on how you look and how you present. It’s horrible, but it’s true. Present to them in the way that represents what they’d expect to see for your symptoms.

Whatever you do, don’t say anything (or send any snappy messages) that might be considered aggressive until you are absolutely, 100% positive you will never ever have to see them again. I’ve had a few doctors that said ridiculously horrible things to me. It’s tempting to send them a message about how shitty they’ve been or how much they’ve hurt you, but it won’t help. Shitty doctors have fragile egos and they don’t like to be challenged. They won’t take this well, and they’ll mark you as attention seeking, emotional, mentally unstable—you name it. When your other doctors call to ask questions about symptoms, etc, they’ll start talking shit, and everything gets complicated. This might sound dramatic to anyone who hasn’t seen it happen, but honestly, the medical system abuses emotion and mental illness to discard patients that aren’t afraid to advocate for themselves, and this is one of the least immoral ways they do it.

Remember that you don’t owe your doctors anything (except basic human decency). If they ask you to do something and you can’t or don’t want to, don’t. My psychiatrist was really fixated on me getting a light box to cure my depression. I did Not want to do that, so I didn’t. Sometimes, your doctors won’t move on to further treatment or tests until you try it, but most of the time you can say, “that’s not something I’m able to do right now. Let’s explore further options,” and they’ll move on.

Remember that learning to advocate for yourself takes years of practice. Just do your best, and try not to blame yourself for the ways you get mistreated. Therapy is the best investment I’ve ever made for this. It’s helped me learn how to advocate and how to process medical trauma.

Medication

For gods sake, take the as needed medication when you have a migraine or if you’re nauseous. Don’t punish yourself.

This might seem like a no brainer, but if you’re traveling and you’re going to take your medication bottles with you, put them in a ziplock bag. They will definitely open in your suitcase, and you’ll have to pick Levothyroxine out of your socks.

If a medication gives you icky side effects, tell your doctor and ask if there’s something that doesn’t do that. For me personally, it’s hard to find medication that works at all, so I often get stuck with things that make me feel like shit. But it doesn’t hurt to ask. Sometimes new medications come out or they dig up old ones.

Some medications come in dissolvable tablets or suppositories. They’re not fun, but if you have trouble swallowing pills, this is a good way to go. Again, communicate with your doctor about these things. I know that there are Scopolamine patches for nausea too. I’ve never used them before, but it might be worth looking into if need easy nausea relief.

All Things Wheelchair

Man, wheelchairs suck, but they’re also amazing. If you find yourself using one, you’ll encounter a steep learning curve.

If you’re not super buff when you first start, it’ll seem impossible to go up even a slight incline. Your arms will get stronger the more you move around, but it might take time. I eventually bit the bullet and started doing personal training. I’m lucky that I can afford it, and I know it’s not an option for everyone, but if you can, find a trainer who won’t saying anything shitty and who’s willing to accommodate. I worked with a queer-owned gym to find someone I was comfortable with. We do upper body strength training, and it gives me a chance to move my body more often. I still can’t go up big hills, but I feel infinitely more mobile. Give yourself time to adjust to the new strain on your body, even if you don’t do training for it. You’ll be sore in the beginning. Ice and heat will be your friends after long days. If your wrists start hurting a lot, you’re not wheeling correctly, and you should ask your doctor for a referral to PT or OT. Oh and your hands will be fucked for the first few weeks. I bought special wheelchair gloves to try to combat this, but it just made it harder for me to maneuver. Now I only use the gloves if it’s cold, if I’m going down hills, or in the rain/snow. (But seriously, if you’re going down steep hills, use traction gloves.)

Learn to pop a wheelie as soon as possible. It’s such a helpful skill. If you get good enough, you’ll be able to get up over single steps and traverse shitty pavement.

If your wheelchair has a cushion, then it has a cushion cover. Wash it.

Time for the grossest part: cutting hair out of your caster wheels. I hate this. I hate it so much. It’s fucking disgusting, but you have to do it. It’ll fuck up your wheels and make it harder to maneuver. Also it’s just gross to have all that nasty hair hanging out by your feet. Get yourself a long pair of thin scissors and cut all that hair out every week or every two weeks. If you don’t have long hair or live with people who have long hair, then you might be able to wait longer. You should also sanitize your hand rims while you’re at it. Hand sanitizer or Clorox wipes are great for this.

You’ll notice that it’s fucking impossible to carry shopping baskets or suitcases if you use a manual chair. Some people try to balance them on their laps or wedge them onto their footplates, but it’s pretty precarious. I got these weird peg things that attach to the frame. You can place a basket or your bag on it and still keep your hands free. Here’s the link for the ones I got, but it depends on your make and model, so do some research and call some different companies before buying anything. Also, make sure to measure the distance between the two sides of your frame to make sure a basket will be able to balance on the two pegs. Your frame might be too wide for this. Mine is, but I bought a special basket to take to the store that’s wide enough to reach across.

Lots of people will offer to push you. Some won’t even offer; they’ll just grab on and take you in whatever direction. It’s insanely invasive and dehumanizing. Don’t be afraid to put on your breaks if someone does this. I can stand and take small steps, so sometime I just get up and stare at them. You can also buy covers for your handles that have spikes so people can’t grab them. I know some wheelchair users who like it when people offer to push them. That’s good too! Take the help if you want it. Just remember to prioritize your safety and comfort. I had a big debate with another disabled person about whether it was infantilizing for someone to offer to hold open the door for us. I’m firmly on the side that they can offer, and I can say no, and they can listen, and then we can both appreciate the moment of shared humanity between us. They did not agree. Disabled people fight and disagree all the time because we’re not all carbon copies of each other. That’s okay! Just be respectful.

Getting a customized manual wheelchair was one of the single most stressful things I had to deal with. Insurance doesn’t like to pay for them because it’s about 3-12k, depending on the specifications and add-ons. But it’s also been the most liberating thing I’ve done since getting my mobility stripped from me. I’m not sure how it works for everyone, but I got a referral from my doctor to a custom wheelchair company. From there, they took measurements, discussed needs, and showed me different models. It’s going to be really really difficult to know what you want the first time. There’s a lot of different brands and customizations, so do your research and talk in depth with whoever’s making your chair. Ultra lite rigid frames are my favorite because they’re usually only 15-40 pounds, and the wheels can come off to make it even lighter. However, rigid frames don’t fold together in the middle like classic manual wheelchairs that you might find at a hospital or get at a rental company. They can be difficult to fit in the backseat of a car or in some trunks, so make sure to measure any cars you ride in regularly. Some people prefer to have tilted wheels so they can turn easier. Some people don’t want anything to do with that. Depending on your mobility and the people in your life, you might choose not to add push handles to your chair. I added some to mine because I often get dizzy, and it’s helpful to have handles in case I need someone to push me out of the crosswalk or into the shade. People who are highly independent and extremely strong might not want push handles because they won’t need help up steep hills. I like my handles a lot; however, my chair back is shorter than a standard wheelchair because it helps increase range of motion when I’m wheeling, so my push handles are lower than normal, and anyone who wants to push me has to hunch a bit to reach. Again, do your research and talk to your rep before making final decisions. Some companies will let you test out the chairs they have on hand to see what you like. It’s important to work with a wheelchair company you really like because you’re literally putting you life in their hands. I’ve had better luck with smaller, locally-owned companies, but you can’t always get referrals there, and not every town has them. Here’s my tip to you: Numotion sucks ass. Avoid them. My branch of Numotion seems to be an outlier; I’ve had really good experiences with them. But most of the time, its impossible to get ahold of anyone, their hours are few and random, and their customer service reps are rude. But! After you’ve completed your order form—gotten measurements and found customizations—they’ll submit it to insurance. This is the tricky part. I went through four appeals, before I got mine approved. Luckily, I had insurance through my mom’s job, and after the last appeal, her company told the insurance that they had to pay for it. This won’t be the case with everyone. Be diligent with your appeals. Have your doctors write specific, clear letters about why you need it, including information about all the customizations and add-ons. It’s likely that they’ll only pay for the base chair, and you’ll have to pay out of pocket for any extra things. Another note: most insurance companies will only pay for a new chair once every five years (if they approve the first one at all), so be sure that the chair you pick out will work for you for at least the next five and a half years.

I had an advisor in college tell me something devastating once: there is no AAA for wheelchairs. I’d broken a caster wheel and gotten stuck on a university sidewalk in 102 degree heat, and she was telling me about her own experiences getting stranded after one of her tires popped. She’s right; if you’re wheelchair breaks, you’re stuck wherever you are without any backup. Carry your phone with you. Tell your friends or family where you’re going before you leave. Familiarize yourself with the wheelchair repairs shops in your area. Sometimes places like bike shops will be able to help you fix smaller things. I always carry an Allen wrench with me in case I need to take a part off. And don’t worry; you’ll find that if something does go wrong, people are far more willing to help than you’d expect. One of the sculpture professors in the art department found me that day and went back to his workshop to get all his tools. He brought me water and sat in the sun while he tried to fix my wheel, and when he couldn’t, he offered to drive me wherever I needed to go. This man was a tenured professor with a prestigious MFA, and he was running late for a party where he was supposed to be handing out awards. You’ll find lots of good people when things inevitably go to shit.

Going along with the last point, your wheelchair will break, and you will have to send it into the shop to get repairs. If you can, invest in a cheap manual chair that you can use in emergencies. If you live with other people, you can buy a transport chair for cheaper, but you’ll need someone around to push you because it won’t have hand rims.

If you’re new to wheelchair use, give yourself space to feel all the emotions. When I first started, I had been using an office chair(!) to get around. My mom would push me from my bed to the bathroom and then back to bed while we waited to get a rental. I was so relieved when I got my own chair that I pushed everything else down. It took months to allow myself to be sad about all the things I couldn’t do anymore and be angry about all the inaccessible infrastructure that America has. Don’t push it down. Talk to a therapist or find people in the community to discuss it with. (If I choose to talk about my frustrations with friends, I always start with “I need to vent right now, and I’m grateful you’re willing to listen to me, but I’m not looking for any solutions to this at the moment,” or “can you give me some suggestions to work around these things that are frustrating me?” This gives my friends insight into what I need, instead of making them guess. It keeps us both from getting frustrated, and I highly suggest it, especially if you or your friends have trouble navigating social situations/expectations.)

Hand Controls

Hand controls are great option for your car if you’re unable to use your feet to drive. I got mine about a year back, but it was tricky and really confusing at first.

First thing you need to know: you can’t get hand controls without a prescription from a specialist. Usually a certain type of occupational therapist. You can look up driving rehab OTs in your area, but there aren’t many of them, and lots of the time you’ll have to drive several hours to see one. There’s usually a long wait list as well. (And of course, a lot of them don’t take insurance.)

If you’re able to find someone who’s certified, they’ll do an intake appointment and assess your physical abilities and needs. Sometimes, they’ll do the assessment and decide you aren’t fit to use hand controls. This can be for a multitude of reasons, including impaired mental cognition and slow reaction time, issues with hand or arm mobility, or there might be a better way to adapt a car for you. Again, it varies greatly on the person, and I’m not an OT, so I don’t know all the ins and outs. If you pass the assessment, and they view you got to drive with hand controls, you’ll be required to do a certain amount of training where you practice using different equipment. Some OTs will know what you need to use right away, and others will have you try different things out to see what fits best. There’s a lot of types of hand controls and a lot of adaptations that can be done to a car, so it really depends on the person. My training was only about 15 hours (plus independent driving practice), but it’ll depend on whether this is your first time ever driving, if you’ve driven without hand controls before, and if you have any other medical issues that might make it hard for you to adapt. Once you’ve completed the training and received your certificate from the OT, they’ll write a prescription to send to a shop that does specialty car adaptation. Kind of like wheelchairs, the shop you go to is very important. Ask your OT if they have any favorites in the area. Insurance never covers this, and some shops will way overcharge you if you’re not careful. My hand controls were about 3k out of pocket, but it was definitely worth it. It would’ve been a lot more to add other adaptations like a lift or a ramp, but sometimes you can buy used accessible vans for cheaper than adding it to your own car. Something to know: you’re usually able to turn your hand controls on and off. So if your friend needs to borrow your car, or you need to let a mechanic test drive it, you can disable to hand controls and allow someone else to use the foot pedals as normal.

Overall, it’s a very long, very expensive process, so plan ahead and be prepared to wait and pay.

Navigating Raising a Kid with Chronic Illnesses

I don’t have any kids, but my mom was my sole caretaker growing up, and I can offer you some of her thoughts. You have to remember that no matter what age your kid is, chronic illness is an impossible thing for them to deal with, and yet they have to deal with it anyways. Sometimes, there’s no good way to comfort a child who’s in 10/10 pain, or who’s about to undergo a life-altering procedure. All you can do is your best. Communicate. Offer support. Give affection. Make your love unconditional. I was a very angry teenager. I was angry with my mom that she couldn’t fix it, and I was angry with my doctors for the way they treated me. There were days where I would yell and sob and refuse to take my meds, and there where days where I would stare at the wall and not respond to anything. It drove my mom up the wall. She’s used to fixing things, and this was one of those things she couldn’t even help. I know she stills holds a lot of guilt for this, but she shouldn’t. She did her best. You’re doing your best too. You can’t fix everything. That being said, here are her suggestions:

Therapy, therapy, therapy. They might hate it, but some day, they’ll thank you. Remember that not every therapist is right for every patient. If your kid wants to switch to a different therapist, let them. It’s better than them sitting and not speaking the whole session.

Lots of kids with developing rare undiagnosed diseases will go through this vicious cycle where they get a new symptom, get sent to a specialist, get dismissed, and then develop a new symptom and start the process all over again. It’s not easy. My mom was a fan of throwing Pity Parties. Every once in a while, when the grind of it all started making us feel hopeless, she’d take me to the store and say, “pick out snacks and drinks. We’re going to throw a pity party, gorge on sugar, watch Lord of the Rings, feel bad for ourselves, and tomorrow, we’ll dust ourselves off and try again.” It helped. It was good to know that sometimes you can let life feel unfair, and it was even better to know that the next day it would be easier to try again.

A lot of being chronically ill as a kid is getting decisions stripped from you and having unexpected negative experiences. My mom would try to do spontaneous things every once in a while to remind me that not all surprises are bad. Instead of driving straight home after school one Friday, she took me to Starbucks without saying anything. After an MRI, she stopped at an art fair and let me pick out a necklace. We would go to the library after I spent the day in the hospital. Sometimes, she’d call my aunts while I was at school to come over and play card games on the weekends. And she was really big on giving me choices in everything. She never made me agree to new (non-lifesaving) treatment. Ever. If she really wanted me to do it, we’d talk it over and come to an agreement that made us both happy. Sick kids are forced into adulthood early; they know how to make calculated, logical decisions when needed. Let them be a part of their own healthcare. (They should also be given the chance to make rash, stupid decisions that have no bearing on their health.)

Keep track of everything. Doctors, meds, ER visits, PT exercises, diets they’ve tried for GI issues, everything about the surgeries they’ve undergone. Some day, you’ll need it. Or your kid will grow up into a chronically ill adult, and they’ll need it.

Talk to their school counselor about getting a 504 or IEP. Even if they’re not struggling. I was a super academically minded kid; I didn’t struggle to understand new concepts or complete homework correctly. But eventually it became hard for me to attend class and finish assignments. Having an IEP saved me. 504s are a lot easier to get (a lot less paperwork, less testing, less pushback from admin), but they’re not legally binding. If you want something concrete and all-encompassing, go for the IEP. IEPs are also really helpful when trying to get accommodations in college. You can also start with a 504 and switch to an IEP later. While we’re on the subject of school: remember that education is important, but school is not the end all be all of your child’s life. What should matter the most to you is that they end up safe and happy. I didn’t graduate high school; I took a proficiency test my junior year and dropped out. It was the best choice I could’ve made at the time, but it was still tough for my mom. I ended up going to college, and now I have a pretty solid job, but every kid will be different. Their mental and physical health is the most important. School is a huge huge huge stressor. Don’t make it harder for them than it already is.

Dating

God dating sucks enough on its own, but adding in chronic illness and disability just makes it a shit show. I don’t have a lot to offer on this other than you shouldn’t settle for anyone who doesn’t respect you, treat you with love and compassion, and accept every part of you for what it is. People will say rude shit. They’ll be nasty, fetishizing, infantilizing, dismissive. Some won’t be able to put up with all the things that come along with being ill. I sound like a broken record, but find a good therapist who can help you voice your needs and expectations clearly. Remember that you never have to go on a date if you don’t want to. Participate as you see fit. Throw it all out if you want.

I don’t have enough time to go into my tips for intimacy/sex and disability, but I’ll give you the highlights.

Communicate. Make it very clear what you’re able to do, what you’re interested in doing, and what you don’t want.

There are lots of ways to have sex. If you’re both having fun, being safe, and engaging consensually, then you’re doing it right. Don’t let abled bodied people tell you the way it should be done. There are lots of accessibility friendly toys to invest in, too.

As weird as it might sound, don’t be afraid to take breaks. Keep water near by. If you have POTS, keep salt or electrolyte tablets on hand. If you have to stop to vomit or go to the bathroom, don’t let it shame you. Go at your own pace and take care of your body.

Misc

Having seizures on a college campus: Most universities have a policy that if you lose consciousness while on campus, they have to call an ambulance. You are not required to ride in the ambulance. You can decline, and the paramedics will make you sign a form before leaving. If you’re still actively having seizures, then they’ll take you anyways, but you probably won’t be in any shape to try to decline. If you’re having seizures regularly, tell your professors. It’ll freak them the fuck out, so warn them ahead of time. It makes the whole thing a lot less awkward when you collapse in the aisle during a lecture. Related to that: communicate with your professors about all your accommodations and emergency health needs. They really honestly appreciate it when you talk to them about this stuff. Even if they have a big class and don’t remember you, it’s good to send them an email and introduce yourself. Hopefully, you’ve also talked to your college’s Disability Resource Center. If not, go do that. Now. (There’s a whole lot of shit that I have to say about campus accessibility and disability resource centers, but I’m not gonna go into it right now.) Also, wear your medical alert bracelet. I know they suck, but it sucks more for someone to be digging through your pants pocket while you’re seizing to try to find your wallet. And keep your emergency contact info pinned up somewhere in your dorm. I used to put mine on the fridge and point it out to my roommates at the beginning of term. It can take a while for RAs to pull yours up, so it’s best to make sure it’s easily accessible.

Remember that you do not function like a normal person. There is no wrong way to solve one of your problems. If you need to put a stool in your bathroom to sit at while you brush your teeth, do it. I got an extra tall stool to sit at while I cook at the stove because my wheelchair is too short. (Cooking in a wheelchair is another thing I could talk about forever.) If you need to wear a sleep mask on the bus because the light makes your migraine worse, do it. People can look at you funny all they want. Like I said, I rolled around my house in an office chair while I waited for a rental wheelchair. What I’m trying to say is find things that work and implement them, even if they’re non traditional.

Here’s what I pack in my bag for an ER visit: headphones, phone charger, book, zofran, Naproxen, water bottle, wallet with cash, socks, and sleep mask to block out the waiting room lights. If I’m expecting to be admitted, then I’ll pack more, but I try to keep it light if it’s just triage and a visit with the ER doctor. Sometimes I’ll stuff a granola bar or some almonds in there too.

My biggest tip for surviving hospital stays is to get out of your room (if possible). Go on walks around the unit. Some hospitals have little courtyards patients can sit in. If you’re in peds, go visit the rec room, even if it’s awkward. Their activities are usually meant for the younger kids, but it can be fun to connect with other people your age, and you’ll thank yourself later when you’re stuck in bed at 3am. Also, tell your friends to come visit you. Not everyone will be able to, but most people are happy to come hang out for an hour or two. It’ll help; I promise.

Clean your room every few weeks. Dear god, clean your room. I have trouble with executive functioning and finding energy to do housekeeping type stuff, but I get more depressed when my room is gross. So clean your room. Especially if you have hypersomnia/sleep excessively.

Don’t force yourself to use a pill organizer. I know everyone says it makes it easier, but I get overwhelmed when I have to refill it, and then I just don’t end up taking my meds. If it doesn’t work for you, don’t do it. If it does, then do it!

Don’t buy the self help books your therapist recommends unless you’re actually interested in reading them. It’ll just sit on your shelf and make you feel guilty for not being good enough.

Mental illness is tightly bound to physical illness. Try to be an active listener in your body. Sometimes, when I’ve been feeling really nauseous, my PSTD symptoms will get triggered over nothing, and it’ll frustrate the fuck out of me because it seems like it’s happening over nothing. I try to track when my emotional state is worse to see if it’s correlated to my physical symptoms. This helps curb the frustration and guilt. Sometimes it makes me dissociate more. It’s a balancing act. Just do your best.

Hobbies are so so so important. Make sure to give yourself time to work on them! And there are a million ways to adapt the activities you love if you’re having trouble, so don’t afraid to do some research. I know they have crochet hook grips for people with arthritis or loose grips, and there are super intense magnifying glasses for people who like to cross stitch and are having trouble seeing the tiny ass holes. I have a color blind friend who sends us pictures of paint to see if it’s the shade he wants. Very occasionally, you’ll come to the conclusion that there’s a hobby you can’t adapt. Let yourself be sad. I can’t hike anymore and it sucks. I can’t go tide-pooling either, and its not like if I just work really hard I’ll be able to do it some day. Life is shit, and sometimes you have to let things go. Be angry, be sad, tell people to fuck off if they try to turn you into inspiration porn, but also remember that there are lots of other cool things out there to try.

Going along with the hobby thing: take the time to learn ASL if you’re having trouble with your hearing or if you often go nonverbal. One of my friends had to get hearing aids last year, and we offered to learn with them, but they were hesitant because it feels like a non necessity to them. Something selfish that would take up all our time. If you think it’ll help, you should grant yourself the time to learn. Capitalism makes us think that we shouldn’t engage in activities unless we gain money or power from them, but that mindset will kill you. Your life will be infinitely easier if you learn ASL online with your partner or friends or siblings.

Look up Spoon Theory. It’s not a helpful metaphor for everyone, but most people in the community talk about it, so it’s good to be familiar with it.

Don’t be afraid to go out and find community! Find support groups, look up wheelchair sports if you’re into getting sweaty, brave the awkwardness of starting conversations with other patients in the clinic. I’m wholly and completely of the idea that humans are innately good. There are lots of interesting chronically ill/disabled people who’re looking for connection. Insurance companies and other medical entities rely on us feeling isolated, alone, and uniformed to continue making money and hold power. It’s important that we share with and support each other.

I know a lot of this is basic stuff, but it’s helpful to have reminders, and if you’re new to the whole song and dance, then it’s nice to get a sneak peak. There are a million things I didn’t get to, but this was what was on the top of my brain.

Also, I’m not the collective voice of every chronically ill person in the world. My experiences are not yours and they’re not everyone else’s. What works for me, might not work for you. Be kind.

#thanks to @thenarrativefoil for reminding me that we need to share with each other!!#if you have any suggestions for dealing with gastroparesis please hmu #I’m still waiting for my gastric emptying scan but I’d like to try out some of y’all’s tips #hopefully some of this is helpful to someone #chronic illness #chronic pain #disability #seizures #nausea #wheelchair user #ptsd #mental health #hand controls #medical insurance companies suck #therapy #so much talk of therapy #spoonie #if this is helpful to anyone I’ll make another

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jester-lover · 10 months

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hi !!! i saw ur hobie x desi reader and im in LOVEE

i saw u had requests open so i was wondering if you could do one for miguel ohara ?? if u do pls tag me !! i need more desi fics and i'd write them but ive been so busy </3

Miguel with a Desi! S/O (headcanons)

cw/ fem! Reader, including multiple desi cultures bc my girlies need all the representation we can get (it’s slim pickings out here) all fluff, mentions of insecurities (sorry I didn't do a lil drabble, I could not think of one)

Hobie version!

He's obsessed with you!

This man wakes up every morning to bask in your greatness

Miguel often has a hard time understanding his own emotions, so this relationship might start out a bit rocky because of the insecurities he has about starting relationships

(I know very little abt comics! Miguel, but I do know he had many girlfriends, so…)

He loves you in any clothing, but something about seeing you cultural clothing just makes him so happy

If the two of you are going somewhere, he’s making a conscious effort to match whatever traditional clothes you're wearing

Your parents love him, no doubt.

Miguel is a serious, family-oriented man, who cares about you! They love him, he’s part of the family.

He cooks you amazing Mexican food, and you cook him amazing Desi food

The entire spider society is at yalls door each night, fighting tooth and nail for a plate

He especially loves it when you make him more simple, homey dishes, like buttery parathas with achaar, or roti with saag paneer (iykyk)

Look at Miguel’s hair and tell me he doesn’t oil it, you CAN’T

You two most definitely spent Sunday afternoons watching soap operas (Mexican or Desi!) and oiling each others hair

He takes this ritual very seriously

“Keep your head still, I’m trying to get to the back of your scalp!”

He’s the type to spend time and effort massaging the oil into your scalp and roots

You and Miguel spend hours at the local Asian grocery store, just wandering down the aisle

Even though he swears he’s only gonna go with you for 20 minutes or something

Seeing you enjoy life’s simple pleasures makes him happy too

#reader insert #fanfic #fanfiction #female reader #fem!reader #miguel x reader #miguel spiderverse #miguel o'hara #across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #miguel ohara #miguel ohara x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #spiderverse spoilers #spiderverse x reader #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman x reader #desi reader #desi!reader

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ginalinettiofficial · 1 month

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hey what’s up hello okay so i finally just finished s2 e52 of dndads (had a very crazy work week so was listening in bits and pieces) and here’s the thing is that im also currently relistening to the whole season and earlier in this week, the most recent episode i finished, was halt and catch fireball, and before that ya know was mrs. swallows oak garcia’s home for peculiar teens or whatever that one is called where they are just. at normal’s house and we got to actually get to know rebecca a little bit and i have got to say that i don’t know if i could’ve picked a more painful and wild older ep to listen to as a precursor to dood riddance i really don’t!!! literally half of the shit in dood riddance just circles back to that arc in the swallows oak garcia home and it’s CRAZY

like first of all. the red vines, which they called twizzlers the entirety of e52 which was MADDENING as a person who legit just finished e30/31 where the red vines were introduced

but then like. e31 is where taylor gets the anime sword from nick!!! that he loses in e52!!!

there were a few other things that i’ve forgotten in the half an hour since i finished the ep because my brain is a sieve on a good day and i’m just getting home from two back to back 13 hour shifts (with an extra 1hr10/20 each day for the commute) so the brain machine is so fucking broke rn

but mainly. i wasn’t loving e52 esp after dood left i just was not vibing with it, i feel like the vibes were off in the room in a way that translated into the ep for a bit there, but then anthony in those last like three minutes brought it back around and with the roll of rebecca??? after i legit JUST finished listening to the eps that feature her the most prominently and like truly showcase not only normal’s relationship w his mom but also, as is said several times in e30/31 and their teen talks, just how similar normal IS to his mom and how he really clearly is a total momma’s boy and very much so seemed to be a kid who sought solace with his mom more than anyone else in his family and just. having legit JUST reestablished that in my own, made the end of e52 DEVASTATING for me in a way that idk if it was for other ppl??? idk haven’t checked the fandom yet im very disconnected this season but just.

i think that okay so we have ten parents it could’ve been, right? and five of those are the kiddads, and none of us want to see them die, so in that moment when anthony was telling us what was gonna happen, obviously my instinct was like “oh god don’t do this don’t do terry jr again but truly permanent” and then my next instinct was that it would be potentially even MORE awful if it was scary’s dad because finally there he is and that’s ALL she wants and for willy to take that moment from her would be INSANE and then (mind you this was my thought process over the course of literally 10 seconds, my brain is ping ponging in my head and has been since the second i got in the car to head home i need to sleep) and THEN my next thought was, oh god, but how fucked up would it be if it were marco??? oh god, how fucked up would it be if it were cassandra?!?!?!?! and then it was time for the roll and truly in those brief seconds basically my brain flicked through every potential victim and said “oh god THAT one would be the WORST”, EXCEPT for veronica and rebecca, and it made the hit of it being rebecca who was low down on my instinctual list to think of but then the second he said her name i was immediately ricocheted back to earlier in the week when i was listening to halt and catch fireball and mrs. swallows oak garcias home and how many emotions i had about normal and his mom just relistening to those episodes and then the fact that i DIDNT think to worry about her just

all of that combined to make that a CRITICAL HIT FOR ME OKAY like i am SO fucked up over this truly that was WILD and i applaud anthony burch for it and now am excited for the finale even though ive spent the last three eps just dreading it for several reasons but now im excited and devastated and i love that

anyways. that was word vomit i just NEEDED to get this out because the connections between those two episodes really will not stop hitting me in the head and i need to impart that onto SOMEONE. if u read this. ur a real one. rip rebecca swallows oak garcia you were a legend and i am so sad about u

#d speaks #dndads #dndads s2 #dndads spoilers #dndads s2 spoilers #normal oak

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jeanownsme · 2 years

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COCKWARMING WITH NAMJOON (nsfw)

a/n~ hii everyone this is my first time writing on this acc, i write multi fandom fics so there will be stuff about (anime, kdramas, kpop groups..etc) anyways LETS GET STARTED. also i spent sm time writing this i hope it gets a lot of hearts ☠️☠️

WARNINGS- cockwarming, teasing, unprotected “sex” (no one gets pregnant, wrap yo willy), begging,dom!sub! relationship, degrading, mean!joonie, sadism, crying, etc LMAOO

punishment

you whined and ground your hips against your boyfriends lap, begging for more friction. your hands squeezing his pants.

“joon please move, i cant take it anymore. i want it so bad. fuckkkk please” it was hot, the room felt hot. surely he couldnt be that upset with you teasing him when you guys were hanging out with his friends. after all, all you did was run your foot over his bulge at the dinner table and text him things you wanted him to do to you… okay maybe you did go overboard, just a tad.

“ah ah. you dont have a say in this remember ? this is your punishment for teasing me like a little slut in front of my friends. take what i give you yeah ?” he whispered in your ear, hand pulling your hair back giving you a sharp thrust making you almost cum right there. you were sensitive, he had you sitting on his dick for 20 minutes yet it felt like 2 years.

“im sorry baby please, ah-. move… ive had enough please im sorry.” stray tears running down your face, his fingers wipe your tears away and then run over your puffy lips. entering your mouth he pushes down on your tongue making you gag, you could almost feel the smirk he has on his face.

“stay fucking still, then maybe i’ll give you what you want” you try to grind on him once again, but he removes his hand to grip your waist and keep you still. you turn your head to look at him, he has a straight face but you could see the lust in his eyes. how could he not be phased by this, how is he fighting the urge to take you right here ?

your pussy was dripping, and you knew he could feel it, his hand gently massages your boobs. it trails down and gives a light squeeze to your waist and then makes its way to your clit, he gives it a light tap and laughs when you jolt. you were so sensitive for him, every time he touches you or moves inside you. it drives you closer to losing your mind because you knew that he liked playing with you like this.. teasing you.

“lets focus on the movie princess” he smiles, giving you a light tap on the face and turns your head around to look at the film. you sigh, what a little prick.

#bts #btssmut #smut #rm #rap monster #kim namjoon #namjoon x reader #namjoon smut #mean!namjoon #fiction #fanfiction #btsreactions

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footygirl114 · 2 years

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Familia (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

I hope this lives up to the fluff and Family Fic that was requested. Let me know if there's anything else anyone wants to see :)

Moving to Barcelona was the best thing you ever did. When the opportunity in your company came up to move to the Spanish city you jumped at the opportunity. Not only would you get to travel, you would be able to go to the beach whenever you wanted. You worked as a graphic designer for an international firm and they wanted you to help start up a European office. With many clients already based in Spain it made sense to open the head quarters here.

One of your biggest clients approached you and asked if you would be willing to volunteer some time on Saturdays to help run kids camps in the city. Your client knew you had worked before as a camp councillor and knew that having an english speaking leader would help with the kids who were trying to learn English as well.

You knew you needed to keep this client happy, and you didn’t really know anyone in the city yet so you figured why not. You figured it would be beneficial to you as you would be able to practice your Spanish on the children as well.

The camps were held at a local school, they ran during Saturday afternoons, and most parents dropped their kids off for a few hours of peace and then wold come back and pick them up. There was various sports and activities for the kids to participate in, naturally being a designer you were assigned to help out with the art stations.

It was during your first Saturday where you met Isabella Putellas.

You had six children sitting with you around the art table “Hola! I am Y/N and I will be helping you to draw a picture of the flowers on the table. Lets go around and have everyone say their names”

You went around the table and most of the kids were loud and spoke very broken English, you gathered that they were all between the ages of 4 and 5 and they seemed to know each other from school or previous camps.

“I’m Isabella, but my mama calls me Bella.” Isabella spoke up in perfect English and you were surprised she was so fluent.

One of the boys in the group spoke up and said “She cant call you that! that’s not a name that a word”

Isabella turned bright red but refused to speak up. You chimed in at this point “okay no need for that, lets start with our drawings”

It lasted for 20 minutes when you lost your group to the rowdy and exciting soccer game starting behind you. It was just you and Isabella left at the art table and you asked her “Do you want to go play soccer with them”

Isabella finally looked up and spoke to you, she hadn’t said a single word for the last 20 minutes, and said “I play enough soccer with my mama and my aunts, I don’t want to leave you here by your self”

You couldn’t get over how thoughtful she was, “okay, well lets draw something else. What’s your favourite animal?” you asked her.

“a Lion like my aunt Mapi!” she responded to you.

“okay well lets draw some Lions then” you told her.

Over the rest of the time at camp you sat there and helped Isabella draw picture after picture all well learning all about her favourite aunts, colours, foods, and activities. You couldn’t help but find her adorable and wanted to keep hanging with her but your time was up. You helped with checkout of the kids, and met Isabellas grandma who picked her up as her mom was out of town.

***

Over the next month you spent every Saturday with Isabella, you both would sit at the art table and draw anything that she wanted to draw. You knew she was your favourite and probably should spend time with the other kids but you couldn’t help it.

“Mama!!” Isabella shouted when it was nearing the end of the session and she jumped up and ran towards her. It was at this point you looked up and met the eyes with the most gorgeous women you had ever seen.

She broke eye contact with you and crouched down and picked up Isabella and swung her around in a big hug “Bella! Ive missed you” she told her daughter.

She put her down and grabbed her daughters hand and walked right up to you and stuck her hand out for a hand shake “hola soy Alexia, Bella es mi hija.

It took you a minute to respond as you were slightly lost in her beauty, but you responded with a hand shake and “Nice to meet you, Im Y/N”

“Bella will not stop talking about you, it is nice to finally put a face to the name” Alexia responded. It took Alexia a minute to reconcile that the women your daughter has been talking non stop about was gorgeous and she knew she could easily get lost in your blue eyes.

“Well its nice to finally meet Isabella’s mother, you have done an amazing job with her, I am sure you and her father are very proud” you respond

At this Alexia bursts out laughing, you cant help but feel confused until she says “Im sorry its not you, I just cant remember the last time anyone thought I was straight. I am Bella’s only mother, I decided to have her on my own and its the best thing I ever did for myself.”

Isabella had enough at his point and pulled Alexia’s arm saying “Mama, can we go now? I want to go see Nala”

“si mi amor vámonos a casa” Alexia repsonds then looks over to you and says “it was nice to meet you but I am going to get this one home now. See you next week!”

“See you next week Isabella” you say as they leave, and you cant help but to want to keep talking to those girls, and you just knew they were going to be trouble.

***

It was later the next week, you had snuck out of the office to go and get lunch and a coffee. You were in line at the coffee shop downtown when you hear your name from behind you. You turn around and come face to face with Alexia.

“Y/N, funny running into you here. I feel like I see you all the time with how much Bella talks about you, she is smitten” she says to you.

At this you cant help but blush and respond “Well I am smitten with her too, you have done a wonderful job with her”

At this she also turns red, but the barista calls you up to place your order. You place your order and turn to ALexia and ask “Can I buy you a cup of coffee?”

She places her order with the barista and the two of you wonder over to a table nearby.

“So, I feel like I know you but only in the sense that my daughter tells me.” she says to start the conversation.

“Well, What would you like to know? I am an open book.” You tell her.

At this point our coffees get placed on the table and she asks “Well I know you can draw very well but I do not know what you do for work?”

“I am a graphic designer, I do a lot of work for local companies with logos and advertisement campaigns” you tell her. “What do you do? you must work on weekends as I haven’t seen you before this last session?”

At this she gives you a funny look and says “Wow, you really aren’t from around here then? I am a professional footballer, I play for the Barcelona women’s team. Bella doesn’t travel to away games with me so we have her in your camp to give my mom a break during those weekends”

You are not surprised that someone like her is a professional athlete as she clearly works out and you have definitely noticed. “Wow, that is awesome! I honestly haven’t had a chance to look into the local sports scene too much.”

“We play at home this Sunday, I will set you up with tickets so you can come watch the game. Bella will hang out with my mom, but she will absolutely love it if you were to sit with her.”

You cant help but smile at the mention of Bella “I would love that, and will be there.”

“Perfect, cause to be honest I think I am becoming as smitten with you as my daughter is” she says.

You blush at this, but cant help but feel the natural pull to her “Let me take you both to dinner after the game then?”

“Yes. We would both love that” she says.

You spend the next half hour getting to know each other, you haven’t felt this way before but you know that you will be spending as much time as you can with the Spanish beauty as you can. You both get up to leave and head your seperate directions. You decide to go for it and pull her in for a hug, she smells and feels as amazing as you were expecting her to.

As you pull back she hesitates and leaves a kiss on the corner of your mouth. You blush but also know she is into you as more than a friendship. “Ill see you on Sunday!” you say as she walks away, you cant take your eyes off her as she’s is walking away down the street.

****

You show up to the stadium on Sunday and go to collect the ticket she had set aside for you. You see multiple posters with her face and cant help but to think of yesterday, how when she came to pick up Bella you both locked eyes from afar and couldn’t tear your eyes apart. You were helping back up some gear so you never got to speak to her but the wave and wink you received from her and the shout goodbye from Isabella were enough knowing you’d see them both today.

Finding your seat wasn’t too hard and when you walked up and saw Isabella in the cutest Jersey with Alexia’s name and number. After saying hello to both Isabella and Alexia’s mom, Isabella starts explaining to you all about her favourite aunts on the field.

The amount of aunts she always talks about now makes sense. “That’s Aunt Mapi, she is the lion I always want to draw! Aunt Mapi!” she yells. You see the player who must be Mapi look over from her warm up and wave to Isabella, she then turns to Alexia who is standing near by and smirks.

“Hey, ALexia, who’s the hottie with my favourite niece?” she teases Alexia.

At this Alexia cant help but look over, she notices you crouching with her daughter and her heart swells. She can tell you are trying to keep up with Bella naming and pointing out all her aunts but the sight is too cute she cant look away. She knows that at that moment she is in this and wants to see that sight much more.

***

Barcelona ends up wining 4-0, with 2 goals from Alexia. You are hanging around the railing with Isabella, waiting for the players to make their way over. Mapi is the first over and she reaches over and grabs Isabella and starts chasing her on the field. Listening to the giggles of the 4 year old warms your heart. ALexia comes over and cant help but admire then way you are watching her daughter. “Y/N, I am so glad you were able to come to the game.” she tries to get your attention.

You look over and smile at her, “Well I hear you normally score goals during games so I am glad I got to see you score 2. You were amazing out there”

“Well you’ll have to come see how great I look when I score 3 goals next game” she flirts right back.

“Maybe I was a good luck charm, and I should keep coming back then” you say.

“Mama! You did so good today! You scored me 2 goals!” Isabella comes running over and leaps into Alexia’s arms.

“I did that just for you mi amor” Alexia responds and keeps Isabella on her hip. The both turn to you and Alexia says “So Y/N still up for taking me and this monkey out for dinner”

The matching smiles and eyes on these two are going to be death of you, but you are sucked in and know you will never be able to say no “Of course, I would be honoured to take the two most beautiful women here out for dinner”

Alexia blushes, but puts Isabella down and says “Let me go shower and change I will meet you guys outside”

****

After saying goodbye to Alexia’s mom, you and Isabella are wining outside where Alexia will come out to meet you. Isabella is dancing and trying to recreate her Mama’s goals for you. She jumps up into your arms and you spin her around like the celebrations that the team did today, when you notice Alexia watching you guys.

“Alexia! are you ready to go, we are starving here waiting for you” you tease her.

“Ya mama! I am a growing girl and I hungry!” Isabella joins you in the teasing.

Alexia Laughs and starts to tickle Isabella in your arms, as she’s giggling from the tickle attack you notice how close Alexia is to you. She smells amazing and her body pressed against yours feels amazing.

Alexia must notice, she looks up at you and smirks, then starts tickling you too. “Stop! I am too ticklish for this” you say as you step away with Isabella still in your arms.

She puts her hands up and says “Okay, Im done, let's go eat!”

She offers to drive as you took a cab to the stadium. You both get into her car with Isabella in the back seat singing along to a Disney CD on the ride. You feel like your life is so complete with these two now in it.

***

After dinner, where you all had a great time, with you and Alexia flirting any chance you got. Isabella falls asleep on the drive, and you tell Alexia to just go to her house and you can get an uber from there home. You didn’t want that little girl to be out of her bed any longer than need be.

When you get there, Alexia asks if you will wait so she can put Isabella to bed. You agree and help her get her out of the car. Once Isabella is in Alexia’s arms you follow them into the house. Just as they are about to go upstairs you here Isabella whisper your name.

You come over to her and she says “Goodnight Y/N, I wanna play with you forever”

You blush, but feel that deep in your heart and you know you will do anything to keep that little girl happy. You look into Alexia’s eyes and can tell she was touched by it to but you say back to Isabella “Goodnight my sweet girl, sleep tight”

***

When Alexia comes back down she grabs your hand and pulls you out onto the back deck. You both sit down close on the couch and she says “Y/N, I like you, and clearly my daughter does to, but I want to see where this can go”

You look into her eyes and see nothing but care and affection. You pace your hand on her cheek and say “Me too, I really like you and your daughter too. I would like to take you out again, both with and without Isabella”

She covers your hand with her own and leans in and kisses you. You shift to hold her better and deepen the kiss. When the need for air becomes too much you break apart and lean your forehead on hers and say “Wow, did you feel that too?”

“the fireworks? yes I did” she responds with.

You smile at her and know that this is forever.

#woso imagine #woso x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #woso #espwnt x reader

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nrdmssgs · 9 months

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Your reminder to be self-indulgent

This blog is not my first experience in writing. However, this one is the first, where I deliberately stay as self-indulgent as I can. Even, if it seems cringy, even if there are people out there with other preferences and perspectives on my favorite characters. This was my personal goal, and today I've found the reason behind it, a real one.

A bit of backstory. Some time ago I've moved to another country. The last months before moving were crazy: there was a shit ton of packing, paperwork, organizational work, stresses and so forth. I knew, Im not going back. What I didn't know was that life would turn out in such a way that with a high probability I would not visit my hometown in the next 10-15 years (maybe longer). Sadly, I didn't have a chance to say a proper goodbye to my hometown. I wish I could just have a free day to roam around familiar places: to sit on a bench, where I had my first ever kiss, to visit my school and university, to walk in park, where I shared my first ever beer with a friend, to look into the courtyard of the house where I spent the first years of my life, maybe to take some photos, so that I have something, reminding me of those places. But it is what it is, and sometimes you don't have any free time during a few months.

This night I had a very comforting dream. I was once again in my hometown. There is a cinema theater in the very center of our city. It is a huge building with a massive concrete canopy (so massive, you can actually walk on it). Although you are not allowed to climb there - there was a way to do it and 20 years ago that area was not strictly supervised, so I've done that in my school years with my friends. So I see that canopy, remember the good old days, climb and walk along there. Then I hear someones voice. "You ok there? Need help with coming down?". I look down on a guy. Never met him before, but his face looks somewhat familiar. He looks up on me with confused eyes, yet a wide happy grin. Such a sunshine of human being. Obviously a tourist, not familiar with this place. "Nah, m fine, just hanging out here." But I climb down just to not let the guy down and ruin his day. "See? it's quite easy, if you know, where to climb." I start walking away, but he follows me and asks if I could show him any cool places around. "Only if you have a few hours, mate. Im planning quite a journey around my hometown." But this doesnt lessen his enthusiasm, he is quite happy to just hang out and see whatever I have to show him. And for the first time I dont care, that he is a tourist and I have to show him some museum/palace/fontain. I just... go through all those places, Ive originally wanted to say goodbye to, when I was leaving, not caring, he could find them insignificant. I dont tell him the real reason behind every place, we visit. Instead, I just joke around, I whistle my favorite songs, I feel free to yell at the driver who almost ran over us in the alley, and I treat my new friend with sweets that he can only taste there. And he encourages whatever I do, just lets me have a good time and is genuinely happy to be around. We visit many places I miss dearly.

I woke up today with my cheeks wet with tears of joy. This happened like 2-3 times in my life. Im just so happy, I've finally revisited all those places and by my side was someone, who just let me be myself. And only later, when brushing my teeth, Ive remembered the face of that guy. "Wait a minute, it was you all the time?" It was so funny, I didnt recognize him in my dream.

So how is this little story connected to self-indulgence? I believe, that by tinkering a safe space for yourself with your favourite characters and interesting for you personally stories, by revisiting this space on a weekly basis, you train your brain to always make some place for comfort. A place, where you can express your feelings and worries freely (even if this place is your own dream). Of course, I`m not encouraging anyone to replace professional help with fanfiction. But I think, this works really well as one of many-many instruments to maintain some peace of mind. So please consider this as your reminder to stay self-indulgent. It helps, it heals.

Oh, and regarding a guy from my dream? Yep, him.

#nrdspeaks #nrdmssgs

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elirastudio · 1 year

Note

Shadow King au

This is before the whole spider queen thing and I’ve been thinking about this for so long and I think Ive been too cruel towards Xiaotian…let’s change that shall we?

——

Sitting next to his father as he watched the generals play and help with the smaller monkeys, both old and young. He smiles and rested his head on his shoulder, he felt the king’s fur move as he felt a nuzzle on his head. Laughing at the exchange, Xiaotian hugged his father not wanting to let go. Not wanting to open his eyed. For he knows what it meant if he did.

For what he’s been doing and seeing weren’t real…this reality was all in his head….

It was

A dream

Everything that’s going on was a dream… and he hated the very knowledge of it.

His eyes opened and looked at his father’s tail on his arm, it made the little prince feel protected, his focus was directed at a monkey who somehow seemed different from the others. He was a tad taller than the other monkeys but shorter than his father, probably a tad shorter than himself.

“That one has been there for a while”

“He could need some help, dad. I’ll check up on him”

“Be careful, Xiaotian!”

Xiaotian walked up to strange monkey carefully, as he got closer the little one looked similar to someone…he couldn’t think of anyone. It wasn’t Mei nor Red Son, CERTAINLY not the other Pilgrims but then who?

The small monkey smiles and looked at the young prince.

“Hey, uh bud…h-how are you?”

It was him…Sun Wukong….but tiny and his eyes were glowing a warm golden shimmer…

Silence filled the air with both young beings living in Flower Fruit Mountain….Uuuuntil

“AHHHHHHHH”

Both of them started yelling…

Well things are starting smoothly to say the least…

“DAAAAD! DAD! ITS WUKONG!!” Xiaotian yelled as he started to run back to his dad

“WHAT WAIT NO HOLD UP” Yelled the young king as he chased the young prince trying to reason with him.

They spent around 15-20 minutes in their little cat and mouse game until the prince realized that they were at a standstill. So he stopped running and stood firm to the king, whom he towers over easily.

“What are YOU doing here?!”

The young king placed his hands up and gave the boy some space

“Listen, this is going to sound weird but I’m not Wukong….I mean I AM Sun Wukong BUT not Sun Wukong who’s running away! Argh! This so complicated to explain!…”

The small king sat down out of frustration and looked towards the boy.

“Ok let me try this again…Im Wukong waay before he went crazy”

Xiaotian stopped and looked at him calmly now. He recognized his outfit…his father has it in a box inside his room. It was precious to him so Xiaotian knew never to touch them.

He wore a yellow top with a green scarf over his neck, red bottoms and a white belt to tighten everything up. Dark boots to complement the outfit.

“Listen I want to talk to you…about Wukong…a-about me? Argh its so confusing when you’re your older you voice of reason…”

The prince sat down next to the young king, seeing he has no intention in hurting him. Seeing Wukong struggle made him feel a bit bad.

“I got an idea…why don’t we you Mk here? It can help you see the differentiate between the two of you”

“But that’s your nickname…Mei gave it to you from that game-”

“Monkey Mech” Said at the same time both of them looked each other and laughed.

“How are you here if My dad gave me a seal?”

“Oh Liu’er is good at seals…but I’m better~ so I just opened and closed the seal like nothing happened…and besides Im not a threat so it’s not gonna hurt me”

Satisfied with the answer Xiaotian decided to sit close to the young king and started talking.

They talked about everything, about Flower Fruit Mountain, about their respective firends, about Macaque, and about their fears.

“No way, Sun Wukong, Great Sage Equal to Heaven is afraid of preforming in front of a crowed?!” Xiaotian laughed in disbelief as Mk, Monkey King, laughed on his back.

“I know I know! It doesn’t make sense!! Ahhh I haven’t laughed like that in over maybe a Millennia? Ahhh that was something!”

Xiaotian laughing filled the young king up with joy, he needed this. The boy away from his home and his father because of his stupid and selfish self. Sure it wasn’t him but his older self, in the young king’s ming he felt guilty and needed to take responsibility for it.

“Xiaotian? I want to apologize for what Wukong is doing…to you and your family…I want you to know that I did everything I could to stop him…I swear…I didn’t…I didn’t want you to get hurt…you’re just a cub and-” Mk said trying to hold his tears, he seen everything he heard everything but did nothing, COULDN’T do anything. With his hands he wiped away his tears the most he could.

Xiaotian hugged the crying king and held him tight. Like his father did when he was crying.

“Hey hey its ok I know you did the most you could…And I appreciate it so much…you’re NOT Wukong, Mk…you’re the Monkey King…”

Mk wanted to say something but just kept crying, saying sorry and held the prince tightly. Feeling the prince’s tears, hearing his ‘I know, its ok, not your fault’ calmed the young king.

“I-Its almost morning…you’ll be waking up soon…”

“W-will I see you again?”

Mk froze and looked at the prince, who was pleading with his eyes. The young king smiled and cupped Xiaotian’s face.

“As long as you want me…I will visit…”

They gave one final hug as everything went white.

~~~~

“Mk? Kid?” Pigsy’s voice rang softly to MK’s ears, waking him up slowly. “It’s mornin’ kid you got the day off today…wanna go to over to Mei’s with Redson?”

Mk just nodded and sat up, he looked at the pilgrim. The pilgrim sighed and looked at the boy sadly.

“No Xiaotian…he…he still hasn’t called nor came by…”

Mk nodded layed back down facing away from Pigsy. Hurt, the pig demon placed a hand on the boy’s head and sighed.

“I’ll call Ao Lie and let him know you’re coming”

Xiaotian heard Pigsy get up and walk out the room. He look at the rising sun and remembered the words of Mk as he smiled

‘As long as you want me…I will visit…’

~~~~

“Where the hell were you?”

“Oh I thought you wanted me gone~”

“I do…but that doesn’t mean I can’t ask where you’ve been”

“I guess so” The young King smiled as he felt a strong weight off his chest…

Hehehe its so beautiful and I love it😩💕✨

I have another fix that I’m keeping cuz there is a comic to do on it, but yes the fact that wukong can get in MK mind it’s a thing, a thing that in the good (like this) or in the bad ( like the other fic I have) has to be stopped.

But this all intersection kinda spoilers us all “season 3” we will eventually get there😂

#ask #six eared macaque #sun wokung #qi xiaotian #shadow king

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sonosvegliato · 2 days

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asking you because i seriously consider u one of the best writers i have. read? known exists? anyways im asking how much do u plan when u write? ik uve talked abt ur process (v funny i love how ur mind works id love to poke around [affectionately]) but like. how much do u Plan in Advance? ive been sitting on some ideas for a while and im trying to think down to the SLIGHTEST things and im jus v curious as to? how much you think abt urs b4 sitting down2 write?

I am glad you think I am funny because I think I am funny too.

(Haha but for real I literally jumped into the air. Thank you!)

Here is where I get shifty because I am not an artist, I never have been, I have never quite gotten a handle on the patience required to color inside the lines. Likewise...I am not a plotter.

In general, an Idea Arrives, and then I sit down and write. A lot of the time it starts out as a scene I'd like to read, and I write that scene for 20 minutes or two hours, and after that I roll the dice in the air. If I poke around it long enough, I am morally required to construct everything that had to happen to get me to the Inciting Scene. My favorite thing to write is dialogue, and to convey how someone said something/why they said it, then I have to know the characters a little more. Sort of like eavesdropping on a conversation, and then getting to know a stranger from it.

I have never plotted anything start to finish. I normally have an end or something close to the end, a few enticing snippets, and that's my map. I don't finish original work too often, but it's not abandoned, it's just reworked, reworked, reworked. I have a friend that has original work that won a big well known editing/pitch contest and now has her work in the Query Trenches, and if she was the writing FBI she would lock me in jail for disorderly conduct and missing plotting documents. She says I should try to at least write a first draft through and let that be my guide, but I'm like. Nah. I start a story and I keep writing it and backtracking and rewriting and backtracking and rewriting, but theoretically at the end I have a story I'm satisfied with--- and not a draft I thought was bad a quarter of the way in but kept mudslogging through it. It's not losing progress, it's just rerouting yourself the longer way home so you avoid future traffic.

"Kill your darlings" is a very famous piece of writing advice, and when I was starting out I thought it meant, like, literally killing your characters for the Drama. Now I understand it as if there's a scene I really like or really want to include...sometimes she just has to get sidelined. And that's okay. We can harvest her organs for later. Frankenstein that bitch.

Fanfiction is different. It's fun and loose and I entertain myself. Now you will not swell the rout was a bit more thoughtfully done, that is, I spent more time on it than just being awake at midnight because I thought of something funny. It was not plotted. I didn't know the story was there. I missed martial arts, and then happened to listen in on a conversation about the poem "To an Athlete Dying Young" (A.E. Housman). I didn't come up with Now you will not swell the rout as a fully-fleshed story then, I just added onto a snippet (literally the first three little paragraphs) and stuff connected and then two weeks went by in a mad haze and I had 30,000 words or whatever it was. After that, I've spoken previously that in hold the low lintel up (and now WIP#3) had some "plot" which are events in the comics I want to include, but I think that is more worldbuilding/keeping somewhat adjacent to the source material. Everything original is just up in my head or stored in a random line I want to remember to use later.

(Literally my "plot" bookmark in my google doc is Plot hey here’s a good line and then I proceed to write one very good sentence and seven disembodied dialogue fragments that don't belong together at all).

In the spirit of honesty, I wrote the last line of Now you will not swell the rout and that was supposed to be it. But the fic had such a lovely reception, and I really felt like I grew while I wrote it, and like look there was one big glaring unanswered question just sitting there, right, so. Now I have a series. And 100% of the reason I'm not uploading chapter by chapter is because I know I am not a plotter, I know I'll change things, and I really want to take my time with this and use it as experience for my original work.

So that was way more than you probably meant to ask for, but. In sum: no, I don't plan in advance, I just take a stab and commit literary medical malpractice. Some writing books will have whole sections on plotting, and will have you detail your characters' birthdate, favorite song, food, music, what's the name of their first dog, etc. A lot of people have to have that solid basis ("organization" my writer friend calls it, pfft). I know, personally, that if I go down that rabbit hole I will not get anything done. I will get stuck.

So if you are honest with yourself and won't get stuck making the ideal macaroni map, send plotting advice for the rest of us homies out there ✌️

SVEG OUT

#please do not hold this against me when I am bestselling in 5 years #thank you #I'm sorry I've been practicing when I do booksignings

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bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls · 1 year

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This... Is BGNN

Things you might want to know, for Apr 18, 2023:

Netflix cancels second-ever livestream after 'Love Is Blind' reunion hit by technical issues — Gee, Netflix… ya need Twitch’s help or something? It’s not like you’ve spent a decade building out the biggest streaming infrastructure in the world, right?

The first CRPG is a min-maxing hell you can - and should - break — I played countless hours of Ultima III & IV back in the day, and even owned a biography of Richard Garriot that was released around the time of Ultima VI. I think it would have been fair to call me a fan. But I wouldn’t have wasted five minutes of my time of Akalabeth, ‘cause it was already antiquated by ‘83.

Mythic Quest's F. Murray Abraham Was Allegedly Fired for Sexual Misconduct — This is one of those surprising-yet-completely-predictable headlines.

Hollywood Writers Just Took a Huge Step Toward Going on Strike in May — Most of y’all were too young to appreciate the impact at the time, but the 2007 Writers Strike was a big deal. It disrupted the early seasons of Breaking Bad, directly resulted in the creation of Dr. Horrible, and extended the 2000s-era reality TV boom by a few more years.

Oklahoma county leaders caught on audio talking about killing reporters and complaining they can no longer lynch Black people — That they were saying it isn’t shocking. What’s surprising is that they were saying it openly, in a group of more than two, without bothering to encode anything or give themselves a trace of deniability… they were speaking without a hint of fear.

‘The Idol’ Gets Provocative New Trailer, Official Premiere Date

The End of Computer Magazines in America — This one is a bit of a heartbreaker for me. I wanted to grow up to write for one of those magazines when I was a kid… it never happened, but it was a dream. In fairness, the “real” magazines —like Byte— have been gone for many years, and the scraps that remained were a pale shade of what came before. But still… I miss my 800 page copy of Computer Shopper.

This set of TV catchphrases is pure Gen X nostalgia

Anna Nicole Smith Doc Examines the Troubled, Misunderstood Life of the Late Superstar Model

Cocaine worth nearly $440 million found floating in the sea off Italy

Rainn Wilson calls for 'Soul Boom' revolution: 'We are spiritual beings having a human experience'

‘Phantom Of The Opera’ Takes Final Bow On Broadway; Andrew Lloyd Webber Dedicates Show To Late Son — I never got to see it on Broadway, but I listened to the soundtrack about 10,000 times in my early 20s, which is directly responsible for me owning several Michael Crawford CDs.

A ‘Morning-After Pill’ for Sexually Transmitted Infections Is Almost Here

AT&T launches medical radar device that monitors older adults through walls

Adobe Firefly's new AI tools aim to cut down drudge work for editors

#news

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blookmallow · 8 months

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ive sort of started new vegas here is the entirety of my experience so far

- spent like an hour in character building bc i couldnt decide what gender to be and couldnt think of a name and eventually realized the customization options dont really look good anyway and also you cant even see yourself most of the time

- took basically everything that wasnt nailed down from the poor doctor man’s house bc nothing appeared to be stopping me and i have no idea what anything is for

- met a robot who is probably going to kill me one day but for now hes my friend i like him

- had an extremely stressful time trying to shoot mutant lizards while not shooting a nice dog. i did not shoot the dog. i dont know if you Can shoot the dog, but i did not want to find out and also did not want my first interaction with this world to be “you killed someone’s dog and now the town hates you”

- wandered off and ran into a checkpoint thing that offered me a chance to name change and promptly spent another 20 minutes rethinking my name again

anyway im doing great

#i kinda got overwhelmed with instructions and also button mapping is weird bc steamdeck #i think its manageable but it kept telling me to do RB to enter Something Mode and i cannot figure out what RB is!!#its not any of the buttons on the right side! i have like four right trigger buttons and it is none of them #maybe the real something mode is the friends we made along the way. i dont even remember what it was called skdjf #VAC or something. i dont know i hope its not something important bc it sure Wont #lucy plays fallout nv #edit: i figured it out it was vats mode and it wasnt working bc there wasnt anything nearby to target ive got it now :')

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chronicallymcr · 2 years

Note

can I get a bennett x reader platonic ?? Fluff

And a venti one separately thanks regards, carley ps…. Hope u doing fine with Ykw 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

thank you! and yes ofc i could do that ❤︎︎

this may be bad, but here's a fluffy bennett x reader!

it was a sunny morning perfect for adventuring. bennett was low on sleep, as he spent all night working up the courage to ask you out. he had liked you practically forever, but was always too much of a wimp to tell you.

you were best friends with him since you two were six, always bonding over your love of adventuring. he thought you were cute for years, not knowing you liked him back. but, today was the day! he could feel it in his gut. or did he accidentally drink spoiled milk again? he couldn't tell. but anyways, he was ready.

today was saturday, your shopping day. bennett knew this, and headed to mondstadt city to come find you.

on his way through the city, he heard a distant shout. "bennett!" he heard a slightly robotic sounding voice call out. he looked behind him to see katheryne waving from the adventurer's guild's stand. he sighed, disappointed that he still hasn't confessed to you yet. "what's up, katheryne?" he asked as he reached her stand. "i remember you telling me you were looking for commissions to take. we just recently had a few open up. would you like to take any" bennett looked around, trying to find you. had you gone home already? just his luck. "um, i'll take the next ones. i'm a little busy right now, catch you later!" he exclaimed, and ran off in the opposite direction.

he finally approached you, after about ten minutes of searching the city. "hey! ive been- uh- looking for you." he said, his cheeks flushing pink. "oh hey bennett! what's up?" you replied with a smile. "well i- um- wanna come on a picnic with me later today? i wanna catch up!" he asked, a bit panicky. his pink cheeks darkened red. "of course! sounds fun!" you exclaimed. "okay! see you soon!" he shouted as he ran into the distance.

an hour and a half later...

bennett was truly ready. he had prepared the perfect picnic for you. he was going to finally express his feelings for you. he sat and waited for about 3 minutes until you finally showed up. "hey!" he called as you sat down beside him. "hi! this looks amazing!" you replied, glancing down at the yummy looking food he had thoughtfully prepared for the occasion. he flushed again. "im glad!" he said. "so uh- i had something i specifically wanted to talk to you about." you raised a brow. "oh? what is it"

bennett gulped, his fear of what he thought was inevitable rejection growing. "i... i- i like you" he finally let them out. the words he thought he would never say to his best friend of ten years. you were flattered and a bit taken aback. "i like you too!" you said, a new found confidence rising up inside you. the boy nearly fainted on the spot at those words. he was still. he was frozen. you knew he was stunned, so you just leaned foward, pecked him on the cheek and walked away.

he sat there for 20 minutes, stunned. he was never gonna wash that cheek again.

(before you go saying anything carley, its his face cheek.)

anyways, hope you enjoyed!! sorry it's not the best. i'll write the venti ones tmrw!

#genshin headcanons #genshin #bennett #genshin bennett #bennet one shot #fluff #fluffy oneshots #genshin impact

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samsspambox · 1 year

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howdy! i did a thing!

tw: medical procedures

i think i've mentioned this before on here but i've been having stomach issues for years (i legit dry heave after every meal. and when i get nervous/any strong emotion. it's so annoying) and i finally got my doctor to refer me over to a gastroenterologist. so! after a 15 minute visit in november, i was scheduled for a Upper Endoscopy, which happened earlier today at a hospital!

now, i've been lucky enough to never be admitted to the hospital before, so this was a first for me. i was scared shitless. that and it was cold, so i couldn't stop trembling LMAO

anyway! i had to go under for a few hours and it was the weirdest experience of my life. and also had some funny bits lol.

when they first hooked me up to a heart monitor, my heart rate Would Not Go Down. it wouldn't fall under 120. the nurse was like 'deep breaths' and i wanted to laugh bc i am an Anxious Person. 120 was as low as it was gonna get LOL. it'd always spike when someone new entered the room too, which was the funniest thing. the person who came to help with my IV was like 'are you okay'? yeah, i was okay. just nervous and scared lol. the IV guy was so nice and even tho he had trouble finding my vein, he only stabbed me once. thank you IV guy.

when the anesthesiologist came in, it was so funny too.

anesthesiologist: do you have any anxiety or depression

me: yes

anesthesiologist: ...one or the other?

me: oh! whoops, both. sorry about that.

and then came the time that they actually put me under. it was so weird. the doctor hadn't even finished saying 'you might feel a little burning' when i just clonked out. the whole world started bubbling and i went 'oh this is weird' and bam, i was asleep. granted i think only having 3 hours of sleep on me helped LMAO

i ended up coming to in recovery! and fairly quickly too, i think they were just finished moving the bed to the spot when i started talking even if my throat was sore. which was also another funny interaction in my opinion LMAO

me, still mildly out of it: is it over?

nurse: it is. you just rest up and then we'll move you to another room.

me: my mom is in the waiting room, can she come in?

nurse: i'm afraid not, sweetie.

me: okay. thank you for taking care of me

nurse: you're welcome. would you like a blanket?

me: yes please, thank you.

let it be known that i am a polite camper!! look at me, using my manners LMAOO

idk how long i actually spent in recovery since i was still mildly out of it and i didn't have my watch or phone on me. they wheeled me out into another recovery room with a heated chair and plopped me down and then got me apple juice, which i was hella stoked about. they then called my mom and she walked into the room, but at this point i was much more lucid and happily eating a graham cracker.

me, looking at my mom who's looking for the room i'm in: oh! ma! hello!!

mom, hearing me and walking over: ay mija! what did they do to you? you're all pale!

me: really? i feel fine though

mom: yes really, you're pale!

me: hey at least i'm awake and conscious enough to tell you how to get out the parking lot

mom: you're right

and then i got discharged, but had to wait a little bit bc my mom got lost inside the hospital and had just made it to the car when they sat me on the wheelchair (a wheelchair!! pushed by a nurse!!! idk i was just very surprised bc i felt like i would walk it on my own and i know it was policy but huh!!) and then we went home at around 9. for context i was at the hospital since 6am, and the last time i was able to check time was at 7:20-ish, so i was out a solid hour and a half.

and then when we got home i crashed and then ate some soup.

this experience was weird. going under was an interesting experience. i hope i never have to do that ever again LMAO.

#sam rambles #sam's adventures #they actually ended up doing a biopsy as well #so i'm in mild discomfort but since i ate i drank some pain meds #recovery time was really quick! and that means i get to help my mom out tomorrow #which is what we were worried about #cuz then she'd have to prep christmas dinner all alone

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rizlowwritessortof · 1 year

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I posted 119 times in 2022

That's 44 more posts than 2021!

44 posts created (37%)

75 posts reblogged (63%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

@trektraveler

@evansrogerskitten

@ellen-reincarnated1967

@talesmaniac89

I tagged 105 of my posts in 2022

Only 12% of my posts had no tags

#dean fic - 44 posts

#dean smut - 20 posts

#dean-winchester-is-a-warrior - 18 posts

#dean au - 14 posts

#dean fluff - 13 posts

#dean x reader - 12 posts

#dear fucking diary - 9 posts

#dean x daisy - 8 posts

#dean x cory - 7 posts

#rancher!dean - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 46 characters

#fun and wonderful and i can't wait for part 7!

My Top Posts in 2022:

Gladiator Reborn

Just a drabble that came to me after watching the last few seconds of The Boys Season 3 teaser trailer...

PART 2 IS HERE

The room is tense, silent save for the quiet hum of machinery in the lab and the occasional drip from the thawing in the cryo chamber. In the half light you watch him, still unmoving, ready to quickly retreat and allow the guards to step forward and take him down. There are six of them, all holding guns loaded with tranquilizer darts strong enough to drop a charging rhino. This man is far more dangerous than that.

One of his hands has been freed from its restraints, and you are now waiting for him to become alert enough to remove the rest. It’s too dark in the chamber to see much, but when he does move, it surprises you, sends your heart into your throat. He reaches across to tear loose the restraint from his other arm, grabbing the wires and IV in his large hand and yanking them free. His hair and beard are long and wild from the time he has spent in here, and as he slowly raises his head, his lips parted and his eyes dark and feral, he stares directly at you.

You fight back the urge to turn and run. Vought wanted your scientific expertise in cryogenics, and the money was just too tempting to turn down. You wonder fleetingly if that job at the university was really so bad. He takes a step forward, out into the room, his shoulders barely clearing the doorway of the chamber. You force your feet to stay planted as he approaches you, stopping about two feet away as one of the guards barks out an order to halt.

Your eyes follow a drop of water from his hair down his well-muscled chest, and farther. He is naked, a perfect specimen, a gladiator reborn - taut, glowing skin over smooth, toned muscle, and he continues to stare at you as your eyes drift downward, his only movement a slight roll of one shoulder. He has an erection, an impressive one, normal under the circumstances, but it is difficult to stop staring, and you mentally force yourself to move on, evaluating the strong thighs as he stands unashamedly before you. When your gaze finally glides back up over his torso, his chest, and back to his face, a lecherous smirk curves his lips beneath the forest of facial hair.

“Clean him up and bring him to the exam room,” you order, and your assistants nod, fear in their eyes. The guards part, and he turns to go with them, the weight of his stare finally gone. Your hands shaking, you hug your clipboard to your body and head for the exam room to wait.

About forty-five minutes later, the door opens. Still naked, Soldier Boy slowly strides into the room, and the guard waits for your instructions. “Close the door. I’ll call if I need you.” He nods, pulling the door shut behind him.

Your patient stands there, his eyes back on you, waiting. You are afraid to look him in the eye. His hair has been cut and combed, his beard trimmed close - he is stunning to look at and he knows it. You grab a latex glove, and as you snap it into place, he walks to the exam table, bending over slightly and bracing his hands on the sides, waiting. You try not to think about how perfectly he is formed as you perform the necessary task, remove the glove and dispose of it, then ask him to turn and face you. You are the doctor, if anyone should feel humiliated, it should be him, but he just stares at you with a smug little curve at the corner of his lips as you reach between his legs to cup his balls. At least he isn’t still hard. “Please turn your head and cough.” He complies, and you remove your hand, gesturing towards the table with your head as you turn to wash your hands. “Please have a seat.”

You grab the blood pressure cuff and slide it onto his arm, acutely aware of the power there as he obediently allows you to manipulate him into position so you can take his pulse. It is strong and steady, just like his unflinching gaze on you. You remove the cuff and set it aside, taking your stethoscope from around your neck. You listen to his heart, then glance up at his face and say, “Please take a deep breath for me.”

He leans forward slightly, his face almost touching the side of your head, and inhales, long and slow. When he exhales, it’s warm, ruffling your hair a little, and your heart skips a beat. You remove the stethoscope and step back, not missing the fact that he is half hard again, his dark eyes glowing with amusement.

“All right, I think we’re done here. You may go and get dressed.”

See the full post

171 notes - Posted March 13, 2022

Gentle as a Sigh

All Dean wants is a little time to worship her like she deserves.

Pairing: Dean Winchester/Reader

Word Count: 1872

Warnings: Smut, Somnophilia (Consensual and Planned)

Dividers from the amazing @firefly-graphics

See the full post

178 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

Gladiator Reborn - Part 2

I had a few requests for a second part to this, but I couldn’t really wrap my head around it until I’d seen Soldier Boy on the screen. Well, we all saw almost all of him 😁, and his personality in general, and this practically wrote itself...

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Reader

Word Count: 1482

Warnings: Dirty talk, rough-ish sex, Soldier Boy’s attitude (😏)

PART 1 IS HERE

“So, Doc – where were we?”

Every muscle in your body is tensed and rigid, and you try to sound authoritative when you speak. “Soldier Boy. We are finished. You should be in your quarters. I have a report to complete.”

He just smiles, cocky and confident, strolling slowly towards your desk and circling around behind you. “Now, don’t be like that. Pretty thing like you, stuck in this shithole of a job, you’ve gotta be a little lonely. And I know I saw you eyeing my package in there.” He moves closer, leaning down, his voice low, his breath warm on your neck. “Just why do you think I was so hard? Saw you standing there, looking all innocent and nervous, I could tell right away you need a big, strong man to unleash your wild side.” He takes the clip from your hair, combing his fingers through it and brushing it to the side to put his lips right next to your ear. “You afraid of me, Doc?”

You clench your teeth as you speak, the only way to keep your voice from trembling. “No. Now go to your quarters before I call the guards.”

He laughs, and a chill runs down your spine. Your body is practically vibrating with a mix of anticipation and anxiety, and something else you are doggedly trying to deny – arousal. Maybe supes exude some kind of pheromone. Maybe you’re just weak.

“You won’t call the guards.” He leans in close again, nuzzling his nose against your neck. “You’re dying to know how it feels to have a supe inside you. Aren’t you, Doc?” He pulls your chair away from your desk, and you vaguely note the pounding of your heart as he turns you to face him. His voice is soft, yet it resonates in your chest as he continues. “Look at me, pretty girl.” You raise your head, powerless to resist, and meet his gaze. “Look me right in the eye and tell me you don’t want me to bend you over this desk and fuck you like you’ve been imagining ever since you saw me step out of that freezer. I can hear your heart racing, and I can smell you, you’re wet for me already. Admit it.”

He takes your hands and pulls you to your feet. You are mesmerized by him, unable to look away from his face, and he smirks knowingly. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He puts his hands on your shoulders, pushing the white coat down until it slips to the floor. He never stops watching your face as his fingers deftly free each button of your shirt, and soon it drops as well. His eyes hungrily roam over your chest, a slight smile curving his lips at your plain, white bra. “You are too pure for this place. We’re gonna take care of that.”

Your bra hits the floor in short order, and he grabs your breast with one hand as he crushes you to his chest and kisses you, demanding, breath-stealing, his tongue plunging between your lips aggressively and exploring your mouth. You gasp for air when he finally releases you, your legs weak as he steers you around to face the side of your desk. He shoves things carelessly to the far side of the surface, then palms your breasts, kneading at them as he ruts his erection against your lower back. He plucks at your nipples, nipping and sucking at the slope of your neck, his voice getting rough with arousal as he speaks. “These are too pretty to be in plain white cotton. Maybe I’ll buy you some sexy lace lingerie, you can wear it for me next time.” He lets go of you with one last little pinch to your nipples, pressing your upper body down to the desk and working your skirt up to your waist. He chuckles when he sees your flowered panties, pulling them down your legs and off your feet, tucking them into his pocket. “Those will make a nice souvenir.”

He pulls your hips back, shoving your feet farther apart with one bare foot, and then his hand is between your thighs, his fingers penetrating you, sudden and deep, startling a cry from your dry throat.

“And you tried to pretend you didn’t want this. You’re drenched, kitten. I’m gonna take you for a ride. Might want to hang on.”

You grip the sides of the desk, your legs trembling, blushing as he noisily sucks your essence from his fingers. The blunt head of his large cock nudges you, then splits you open as he drives inside of you with one stroke, grunting, “Yeah!” as he bottoms out. There is no pause, no waiting for you to be comfortable, just a stinging ache that quickly begins to bloom into pleasure as he fucks into you without mercy, your bodies slapping together, his fingers digging into your hips to hold you where he wants you. “Like that big supe cock buried in that cunt, don’t you, Doc? Like being fucked by a real man. Takin’ me like a pro. You’re wasted hidden away in this lab. Maybe Vought will let me keep you, you can be my little live-in cocksucker, be waitin’ naked for me when I get home from saving the world. What do you think, Doc? Pays the same, perks are much better.” God, he liked the sound of his own voice, but fuck if you weren’t getting close, the sound of his voice and his deep, hard thrusts sending you higher and higher.

He lets go of you with one hand, shoving it down between you and the desk, his fingers roughly rubbing at your clit, forcing a little shout from between your clenched teeth. “Yeah, you’re gonna come real hard for me, aren’t ya? Practically crying down there, dripping all over me. You’re gonna come, squeeze that little cunt real hard around me, and then I’m gonna fill you up with supe come. I said fuckin’ come!” He gives your clit a little tug, and you try to stay quiet, but it’s impossible as your vision fades at the edges and you fall apart beneath his onslaught. He laughs, then lets out a long, lewd moan, slamming you into the side of the desk with each violent thrust as he finally explodes with heat inside you. He more than fills you up, hot fluids leaking out to run down the inside of your thighs, and he grunts like an animal as he finishes, panting hard.

You jerk in surprise as he pulls out and lands a stinging swat to your ass before he pulls his pants back in place, staring down at you, still unable to move. “You look good all fucked out and naked, Doc. I’m gonna venture a guess that I passed this part of my physical, wouldn’t you say?”

You slowly, every part of you aching, push yourself up from the desk, letting your skirt fall back in place. You cover yourself with your arms, refusing to look at his smirking face as you grab your shirt from the floor and cover yourself. “You’re a real asshole, you know that?” you mutter, and he laughs.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t hear you complaining a minute ago. Don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy it.” He takes your panties from his pocket and holds them up to his face, breathing in deeply. “Delicious.”

“I think it’s time for you to leave.”

The smile fades from his face. “Now, don’t be unappreciative, kitten. Next time I might have to get rough.”

“There won’t be a next time.” You look up at him defiantly, but a leering smirk spreads across his face, his eyes dark.

“Keep telling yourself that, Doc. I’ll be seeing you.” His eyes sweep over you lecherously, and he turns to leave. “You know, and I know, that I’ll be back. And you know you’ll be craving more. You’re not fooling me with your holier-than-thou attitude. You wanted this, and you’ll want it again. Ain’t no gettin’ over me.”

You watch as he leaves the room, one last leering smile aimed your way as he pulls the door closed behind him. You almost sink to the floor, but manage to make your way to your office bathroom to clean up a little before you put the rest of your clothes on and take your coat from the hook. The drive home seems like a thousand miles, but all you want is to get out of this place and into a hot shower.

You try to feel how you know you should feel - violated, ashamed, angry. But you don’t, not really. You know, the next time he shows up at your door, you’ll end up the same way. You know the cocky son of a bitch was right. You won’t be getting over him.

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237 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

Centerfold

It’s 1973, and you are the assistant to the most famous photographer in the U.S., who just happens to be doing the photoshoot for Playgirl Magazine’s first-ever centerfold. Who better to start things off with a bang than America’s favorite superhero?

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Reader

Word Count: 2823

Warnings: None except the usual smut 😊

Fic header was made for me by the FANTASTIC @editsbymichele (Instagram) - thank you again, my friend, you ROCKED IT as always!!!💕

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342 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

A Little Wild

A middle-of-the-night thunderstorm helps release those pent-up feelings - pretty much just an excuse for Dean smut...

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word count: 1637

Warnings: None really, just smut - oral, male and female receiving

Divider by the ever-lovely @talesmaniac89

The power is out.

You crawl out of bed and go to the window, opening the curtains halfway. It’s pitch black out there, too, except for strobe light images in lightning flashes, the trees whipping in the wind, the cars in the parking lot gleaming, wet with the driving rain.

You don’t hear him move up behind you, but you can feel him. The heat from his body seeps into your back, and you can smell the warm, woodsy, slightly spicy scent of him, feel the almost magnetic pull on your body, urging you to lean back into him. You resist, but it isn’t easy.

“You okay?” he whispers, and you nod.

“Storm woke me.”

You stand there, silently, watching the raging storm together, the air vibrating with something unspoken. After a few moments, he leans down, his lips next to your ear, and murmurs your name. “Doesn’t this make you kinda feel like doing something a little wild?” The tips of his fingers glide up and down your arm, a whisper-soft touch, and suddenly you have to concentrate very hard on the act of breathing. Inhale, exhale, shallow and slow, and you’re feeling a little dizzy. When his lips brush against the slope of your neck, you sway, and his hands on your upper arms hold you steady. “If you want me to go…” He hesitates, unmoving, waiting for you to respond.

“Stay.” It’s the only word you can manage, but it’s enough.

He pulls you back to rest against his bare chest, and you can feel him, already hard, against your lower back. His hands begin to roam, feather-light touches leaving fire in their wake. His hands are warm on your skin as he slides them under your shirt, pulling it upwards. “The window,” you whisper, and he ducks his head to whisper his reply.

“There’s nobody out there in this storm.” He nibbles, right below your ear, and you shiver, then let him pull your shirt up and over your head. You can’t see him, but you can feel his heated stare as he drops your shirt to the floor. His hands move to cup your breasts, gently squeezing, thumbs strumming at your nipples as he watches in the flashes of light from the storm, moaning softly as you squirm against him. “I always wondered what you’d look like, all naked and rosy from being played with, teased. Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

You’re so aroused you don’t even think about the window anymore. You reach behind you, your fingers digging into the hard muscle of his thigh, and he swears softly. With one hand he continues plucking and tugging at a hard nipple while the other slips beneath the elastic of your panties, pushing between your thighs to cup your pussy, the heel of his hand pressing against your swollen clit.

His fingers trail their way through your lower lips, grazing over your entrance, then dipping inside, just enough to make you clench. He teases you without mercy until you’re whimpering, your legs quivering, and then he gives your nipple a pinch and plunges two fingers inside you to the last knuckle. You whine his name, and he bites at the curve of your neck, sucking a mark there as he fucks you vigorously, growling, “Fuckin’ come for me,” into your ear. A few more thrusts and you do just that with a wordless little shout, your head slamming back into his shoulder and your legs giving out as he lets go of your breast and supports you with his arm around your waist. He swears softly as he works you through it, his breath ragged and hot on your neck.

“Need you on the bed, now,” he whispers, helping you that direction and letting you collapse on the mattress, still trembling as he joins you there. He’s sucking your flavor from his fingers with a groan, then he jerks your panties down and off before moving down, bending your knees and hooking his arms beneath them as he lowers his head to drag the flat of his tongue over you. He takes his time, savoring you, lewd sounds of appreciation driving you even higher. He spears the warm muscle into you, wriggling it around and reaching as deep as he can, making you squirm and cry out beneath him. “Dean… Dean, please…” you begin to beg, and he leaves your cunt with one last sloppy, sucking kiss as he raises his head.

“You wanna come this way, or do you want me to fuck you?”

You moan, long and loud. “Fuck me. Please, Dean, fuck me now, fuck me hard.”

He releases your legs and wipes his face on the sheet before pushing his sweats down and kicking them off, moving up close, his cock prodding at your thigh. “You got it, sweetheart.” He guides himself into place, then thrusts into you, hard, holding himself in as you writhe and whimper at the sweet intrusion. He bends to kiss you then, feverish and hungry, a loud groan vibrating through him as you lightly suck on his tongue. He begins to rock against you, finally lifting his head as he starts to pull out and drive back into you, hard enough that you can hear your bodies slapping together. He’s fucking into you so hard, so deep that your head is spinning with the beginnings of another orgasm.

Your nails are digging into his back, your legs clamped around his hips, and he shifts slightly so he can get a thumb down between you, rubbing your clit hard. You shout his name, beginning to buck and arch up into him, and he growls, impossibly fucking you faster, finally exploding into you, spurting hot and thick until he drops, spent, on top of you.

When you wake, the alarm clock next to the bed is flashing – the lights are back on. Dean has closed the curtains, and a ribbon of light glows under the bathroom door. It goes out before the door opens, and he comes back into the room, his naked body lit only by the night light near the sink. “Sorry, guess I passed out,” you mumble, foggy from sleep. He smiles, slipping back under the covers, bending to kiss you, tasting faintly of toothpaste.

“Yeah, me, too.”

You turn towards him, letting him slide an arm beneath you and pull you close. “What made you come in here? I mean, you’ve never…”

“I just peeked in to make sure you were okay, and saw you standing there in front of the window, the lightning flashing around you, and – I don’t know, I just fucking wanted you, bad enough to ignore all the reasons I used to tell myself that I shouldn’t. I just hoped you’d want me back.”

You let your hand roam over his chest, then trail slowly down his belly, feeling the muscles contract as your fingers tickle through the thatch of hair below. His cock twitches, begins to swell, and you caress it gently, encouraging it to grow. “I do. Have for a long time, I just never admitted it to myself. Glad that’s all behind us now.” Dean’s breathing is growing heavier with your every touch, and you slowly pull the blankets down, admiring the view. He’s fully hard now, his cock moving slightly with every pulse of his heartbeat. You move down, one hand grasping him gently as you kiss the very tip, then set your tongue to work, tasting every glorious inch and then focusing your attention to the head, swirling around and then dipping into the slit with each pass. When you finally take him into your mouth, he groans deep in his chest, his hand moving to the back of your head, fingers tangled in your hair.

“Fuuuuuuck….” His grip tightens in your hair as he struggles not to thrust up into your mouth. You hum with pleasure, taking him in as far as you can manage and sucking as you pull back, taking him deeper each time until he is breaching your throat, making you fight not to gag. Instead, you force yourself to swallow around him, and he arches up under you, a desperate moan grating its way from his throat. Your jaw beginning to ache, you work him harder, pushing him to his limit, and he finally gives in. You relax your jaw as he thrusts up into your mouth, his cock swelling and then pulsing hot, flooding your mouth and throat as he comes.

You struggle to swallow as much as you can, wiping your mouth on the sheet as you pull off him, laying your head on his belly as he pants, moaning softly at the gentle kisses you place there.

After a quick trip to the bathroom to clean up a bit and brush your teeth, you return, and Dean reaches for you. “C’mere, sweetheart.” You join him, crawling willingly into his arms and kissing him, his hands caressing your soft skin, pressing you closer.

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342 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

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