#ive reached all my goals

[laurzzz]

I put shirts on robots

And I'm a robot too so I must

#sona art #my persona #robots #sketches #laursdraws #ive sorta reached my goal of being known for drawing the DCA in shirts and i still cant stop thinking abt that #there's been ppl who saw my past art style that I've been in contact with and they all went 🫵🫵🫵 IT'S YOU

[soldier-poet-king]

St Thereses little way and small kindnesses shape the world and make it go round etc etc etc

Yes that is ALL true and I don't discount it but ALSO have you considered I ALSO want the Big Grand Kindnesses and Great Works and Gestures

Not just for the drama. Not for the recognition, I generally hate to be noticed. But for the competency. The satisfaction. The possibility that I CAN. Surely there is this ambition and drive for a reason. Surely I am incredibly hungry and yet have no concrete selfish tangible dreams, just a Grand Desire for The Good in some great manifestation, surely for a reason. A meaning. A purpose.

I want it. More than comfort and kindness and love I want this. The deepest hunger of my existence. The reason for my existence.

#franposting #actively chewing and biting at work today #and its only a Monday #oh boy. oh boy #is this maybe just a manifestation of a need for control #has every existentialist prior also sought this desperately #it is less the despair and more of the hunger #of knowing it is there. beyond my reach or capability but not beyond my desire or mind #it is a terrible thing #sometimes i think it better to have been ignorant of it. to be content with the small and the simple and the good #and not know or want for more #those are better people. tbh. they can do more good than all my navel gazing pretensions can #and yet. and yet #this is why i cant be left alone to get bored #ive been out of school for only a year without a concrete end goal #and i am already redesigning the world in my ambition and my benevolent tyranny #actually. yknow what. fuck it. i finally understand galadriels temptation. #or at least. in part #fuck. OHHHH journal we're really init now #god forbid one day anyone ever reads these things. bitch is a lunatic. #shoutout to all the homies who wouldve been diagnosed with female hysteria

[jesterguy]

I have so many posts in drafts about Palestine and I still just don't even know what to say or where to start

#how do i talk about my extremely zionist early education #how do i talk about my birthright trip at age 13 and the impact it had on me as a jew and as a human on this planet #how do i talk about my childhood rabbi reaching out the kids i grew up with offering support for those mourning the loss of history #and also those mourning the lives of colonizers (who ultimately are jews seeking a safe space after hardship at the great expense of others #my fucking guts have been clenched for days i feel like a shell #my mom is more worried about sending my transfem sister to college on her own in the inner city now not bc she's trans but bc she's jewish. #not to mention i always say im 'raised jewish' not actually jewish bc im not! im not jewish ive bever had a conversion. #what fucking right do i have #all i know is my upbringing and my ability as an adult to unpack it. #and how many things that i was taught are WRONG #i didnt get a christian brainwashing a got a zionist brainwashing #anyways all this to say theres always a lot of regard for Palestinian suffering on here as there should be in these situations #but young jews have a fucking weight on them right now like you just would not believe #not that its equal to or greater than the trauma of being palestinian. but just that its not mentioned right now #thats all ive got to say. idk yall are welcome to ask me more about this i just had to spew some of it #might delete #cam talks #if it isnt clear im fully pro palestine and my goal isnt to be any sort of devils advocate here. im just in a very complicated sort of pain #if i posted that email from my middle school rabbi here he would be doxxed and hate crimed. #and you know. i dont like the guy. but the fact that i know thats what would happen tells you a lot.

[peachcitt]

normally i never make resolutions because im of the opinion that you can change your life whenever you want and technically speaking any day of the year can be the start of a new year. that being said. my past year was kind of garbage.

so! i have decided to be more keen on new years resolutions, especially making ones that will hopefully make me feel better if something i can't control affects me negatively. i actually made a huge list of resolutions, more than i put here, that all kind of boil down to trying out ways to make my life more comfortable and fulfilling for myself and the people around me.

happy new year everybody i hope this year treats us all kindly :)

#new year's resolutions #new year's resolutions 2023 #my art #peach stuff #also i know it's a scientific fact that if you write your goals down you're more likely to achieve them #have i ever written my goals down if i wasn't forced to before? no. and maybe that's why ive been so shit at reaching my goals<3 #also about the goal that's about finding a hobby that uses my hands: ive realized recently that both of my main hobbies #(reading and writing) are both very brain-heavy things to do. like those are both two things that require a lot Being Inside My Head #and you know! maybe ive realized that it's Not Good to be in my head so much! #so i want to find a more tactile hobby that won't require so much brain time and can connect me more with the physical world #also i drew this all in ms paint with my new laptop and laptop pen and maybe i just don't understand ms paint enough #but this was kind of a bitch to draw. where is the layer function. why was my laptop screen still registering my skin when i was using pen #but still i like how it looks. especially the peach and my hair. the peach just because it looks cute and peach-like #and i think this is the first time ive drawn/colored my hair since i died it this past summer so it was fun to experiment with #how to make it accurate but still cohesive with the colors i already had down #my hair is actually variations on an auburn sort of shade since its faded from a really shitty (self-done) red dye job #but the pink here is fun :) #anyway. that's all

[plasticsandwich]

its really hard to use this site now knowing things will literally never change

#doesnt even matter if you report someone or the like. im still just gonna watch my friends get harassed for existing #and i suppose eventually it'll reach me too but like. whatever #i more or less just reblog art and other stuff i like. but a lot of people seem to be moving ship already #theres a few set things i want to finish here #some goals ive set for myself #once im done with all that then ill consider moving on #thank you all for the unimaginable kindness you've shown me. both recently and always #genuinely its unthinkable to me mksdfs #ive discovered that i enjoy sharing things with others #no matter how small sum of people come to see it i really really do i love creating #and making things #so its not like it'll be the end of the world!! i just need finish what ive already set out to do #diary

[chaotictomtom]

honestly still so upset the blood donation situation. makes me sit on the floor and sulk for an hour each time i think abt it

#france finally allowed gay ppl to donate blood BUT with a 6 months abstinence #but my main obstacle at the time (didn't have bf + is considered woman at the eyes of the law 🖕) was because i weighted way less than 50kg #i was heartbroken when i hit 18 and got slapped in the face with the info that i couldn't donate my blood #thing i wanted to do since i was a kid when my big bro did it #it was the only thing that kinda helped getting out of my ed tbh 😵‍💫 didn't. really worked sadly #i did gain some weight finally living with bf alone us two! but 50 is the bare minimum and you can't still give everything in your blood #then i got on t and was so happy realising i was gaining some weight (+weight restribution made me less dysphoric and ed got better) #but lol i still can't donate blood!!! cos' i'm on t now!!!!! looool fuck my baka life fr #😔😔😔😔 like the sole goal that helped me go through ed and not literally starve myself at some point in my life #smh #mibbe one day? i hope i'll be able if i change my id to m ??? mibbe this will bypass the hrt parameter. idk. head in hands #true fucking head in hands moment #ive reached more than 55 i could give everything from my blood augh :((( ppl are in need wtf man #sORRY ranting in da tags im just. :( i hate remembering this that's all. #will play some video games now waiting to get some cheezborgir........ keeping da brain busy

[cruelsister-moved2]

was running like 3x a week for like the last month and doing really well but then I got horrible shin splints last week bc of my super high arches so I need to go back to swimming instead but the new leisure centre hasn't opened yet so im going to lose all the fitness I got and have to start again😭😭😭😭😭

#ive been resting it for like a week #but it literally hurts so badly to like. climb stairs #I forgot today and accidentally jogged to reach a green traffic light and it was horribleeee #like my mums house is a bungalow so I didn't. realise that i literally cannot climb stairs rn help me #I also don't like treating swimming as exercise rather than just fucking around #bc like im. in the water so I have no wya to track my progress or see how I've improved or set goals or kbow how much to do in a session ey #I've always wanted a weightlifting era but im so intimidated by like all the gym guys and I have no idea what to do #I need a woman to show me how to do it 💔 #my stamina literally got so much better just in a month it was so good but nooo girls w high arches aren't allowed to have fun

[michameinmicha]

I wish there was a fun little gameplay mode in Project Zomboid with a Little Red Riding Hood concept:

The player character starts with a basket, a bottle of wine, a loaf of bread and a red hat. On your Map there is a marked location some distance away; that's your grandma's house and your goal is to get there. You spawn in some part of a town so you get the chance to search through a few houses and hopefully get some weapons and supplies before you have to cross some fields and of course make it through a stretch of forest, all while avoiding zombies. You gotta make it to grandma's safehouse (relatively) unharmed and hopefully not leading an entire horde to her.

It probably wouldnt be a very long game, but there is a clear goal to reach, which i sometimes miss having in pz and I would love to play that!

#mine #project zomboid #little red riding hood #it would just be like a fun little mini game to play in between all the serious hard stuff #idk how to make mods in the first place and idk if anyone could actually make a play mode like that? like is that kind of mod even possible #but yeah ive been thinking about this concept a lot and i think it would be so cute! #my funnest plays are when i set myself a clear goal to reach like getting to a specific place or collectin stuff and making a recipe or smt #and i would love if there was an actual grandma to get to because it does get lonely after a while (yeah i dont have friends who play pz) #pz

[boxofthings]

i have 3k words for the shadow!Roach au so far but 90% of that is just flashbacks of ghostroach from before he even becomes a Shadow I am seriously procrastinating on writing the main plot

#theres just that instinctual need to write ghostroach when they were happy #also cuz writing shadow!roach is intimidating i dont know how to approach that plot :') #I should just write a oneshot fic with just ghostroach shenanigans cuz apparently thats all im good at #bruh i havent even scratched the surface of this au i fear for how much ive bitten off #my goal is to at least reach 10k

[wall-e-gorl]

listening to a tma hunt playlist to draw today <3 keeping me on my tasks of drawing attacks today, feels very on brand considering im team werewolf

#i just needed something else in my ears than my usual today #and i havent listened to these fear playlists since i saved them #anyway its working i drew three so far today #i said yesterday that i want to get at least one a day #thats the minimum goal lol the reaching for the stars goal is to do all the bookmarks ive got and to hit mutuals/people im following #im being reasonable with 1 a day but i am also not limiting myself you know?

[shartypie]

my cat died today and only one friend reached out to me about it and it made me really sad

#tw pet death #i just don’t know how to approach this situation so this is the best i got rn #i haven’t posted about harley on here because i use this account for funny stuff but it’s the only place where most of them won’t see or #feel attacked or whatever #cause my goal isn’t to attack them it just made me really fucking sad #they’ve known about me taking care of Harley and her cancer for the past few weeks and known how deeply upset I’ve been about it #it really hurt to have to go through this and see some of the people closest to me not even message me condolences #or ask if im ok #and this all sounds so conceited and self-centered and that’s why i just don’t know how to approach this situation #idk. i hope i can figure something out tomorrow #if you see this teresa thank you so so much again for reaching out to me #milan of course has been great to me too #but it does make me so very sad that on this unspeakably painful day i had more random people ive never spoken to wish me well and not my #friends. but again i know i sound fucking selfish with all of this so I don’t know where to go #anyway #goodnight

[newleaf]

having sooo many anxieties about my future and feeling Bitter About My Circumstance. lots of cool things i am trying to work on but money is such a barrier for me. i like threw myself head first into furry stuff alot last year and the year prior as like a pandemic activity lol, ofc i still enjoy it but idk, i think being friends with someone who just casually bought like 5 fursuits in a single year was wiiiild to me and im def experiencing lasting culture shock. i would literally be improving upon myself with that kind of income and the adult cookie monster pjs gorls grew up and are buying like more fursuits than you can realistically even wear enough to get proper use out of all of them.... i am self aware enough to know im a huge dickhead for "this bitch eating crackers!"ing someone just cuz i am Working Class but ooguhgrhgughugh god

#🍳 #ik i will reach my goals in time but i suffer so bad #<- instant gratification wanter #im just in a state of absolute miserableness bc im saving money SOOO aggressively to be able to do what i wanna do #i work a very exhausting and thankless job for 10 hours a day and theres littol reprieve for meeee #the prospect of returning to school and/or being able to move by the end of 2023 has been my huge driving motivation #and like i am still WITH DA MISSION but the idea of continuing this for a full 2 years is so much to bear my love #desire and ambition is the root of all suffering so ive come to mother fucking understand #i wish i could be content living here my whole life i wish i had a family that didnt instill this need to 'do something' #desperately want to be a bloke who does fuck all #but it seems i must do all fuck #and dgmw i will nevver stop liking anthro animals etc but yeaaa i think i also have to face some hard truths #like the furry scene just isnt going to fullfill me the way it does some other folks and thats ultimately okay

[dykedragons]

my commissions took off even more than usual today :) <3

#ramblies #FIVE commissions!!!!! and i may still get some overnight yet #accepting them all bc like fuck it. big batch. ive been so On It with my art lately i feel like i wont get terribly demotivated #its kind of like. all i have to do outside of housework atm kdfgnfnkfgjjd so #MAKING MOENY!!!!!!!!!!!! at this point ill reach my goal :D i wanna have enough to Theoretically buy a new laptop before college in case #petunia (current laptop) kicks the bucket (we pray she doesnt though im emotionally attached.) #im so grateful though........ and my commissioners are CONSISTENTLY some of the nicest fucking people ive had the pleasure of dming #AND ITS ALL FUN DIVERSE STUFF TOO.... pixels and digital art AND a custom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #AN ARTISTIC LIBERTY CUSTOM!!!!! #im very excited. excited and grateful #and ive had a really good last couple of days....... aaahhh its been lovely #peace and love and healing and all that etc. and also money fdgnkfjgd #wishing everyone the same

[creativebrainrot]

finally get to paint sugyn!! (he/her) she's so cute

#creativelyrottedmind #wip #sugyn my beautiful sniper femboy i love you #pyrs' piece is pretty much done i just want to touch it up a bit #im proud of myself i actually set a goal of a five piece set and ive done it! #actually setting an art goal and reaching it?? woao #only belial's piece left once sugyn is all done :D

[uniformbravo]

how tf am i like yea im gonna do nanowrimo this year while also being signed up for natsuyuu secret santa while also planning to sign up for pnat ss when that opens up LIKE

#what happened to ''im never signing up for 2 secret santas again'' HUH #SMH #truly its bc i went WAY over the top that year i can reign it in. i should #and im not planning to go all out for nanowrimo either my rule is get it done no matter how shitty it is #ive never done it before actually i thought the word goal was way higher its 50k #which i mean. still yea. but #fanfic has probably destroyed my perception of what a lot is #i used to eat 10k for breakfast when i wrote. easy peasy #its like. 1.5k per day thats nothingggg #(im saying all this now so i can reach back in time to this moment & strangle myself later) #retag later #write blogging #nnwm blogging #tag ref #i will prioritize my secret santas tho. they Will get done #even if i means i have to text to speech my novel and it becomes unintelligible #Anything For My Giftees

[thelightintheattic]

also I have to come up with goals for myself in therapy, might be the hardest thing I've ever done tbh!

#i know there are things wrong with me i just dont know how to put them into words 😭 #also what goals i should be reaching?? not feeling conflicted over my childhood?? #also the things wrong with me are embarrassing how am i supposed to tell a lady ive met once all about them #eighhhhhh whyyy #bee.txt #therapy tag