#ive never been religious or even really spiritual bc i never really needed that for myself
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baby tiefs...
1. crossy is very eager to please & help with anything. he listens & pays soo much attention & hes so good at reading scripture and everything. he wants to be so good bc if he is then he'll be loved (maybe his parents will come back?) and he wont be rotten anymore like the sisters told him. this child is a you say jump he doesnt even say how high he will just jump. his internal working is just i need to be loved and ive been given explicit direction on How i can be. hes still a whiny little kid and he will lie so he looks better. holds his religious beliefs very close but struggles with the actual spirituality of it; he knows all the words & parts but its difficult to conceptualize beyond his material reality (if i lie and the sisters dont notice, they still say im good). has questions & doubts but would never dare saying them
-> makes it extra upsetting for him when the abuse ramps up and hes punished for anything and nothing. thats where he really starts to internalize im bad no matter what i do, it just matters what i can make other people think
2. nowhere is similar (eager to please & help) but with a key difference. he asks Questions. he'll ask things that sound like Doubt when he's just asking to reinforce his belief essentially / learn because he believes in lot intensely. think the 5 year old phase where they just ask why all the time. compared to cross it labels him as disobedient and ornery, even though this boy is apologizing to weeds that he pulls, veggies he picks, and bugs he squashes. he wont lie if he fucks up, he'd tell you right away. but he "doesnt listen" so he's the troublemaker. it clams him up a little (gets in trouble for asking questions / talking). deeply spiritual and religious child. he wants to be good so hes Saved
-> constantly labeled as rude or disobedient or aggressive, he does start to simmer quite a bit. he gets angry but he represses a lot of it. when the anger comes out and he snaps or bites, it reinforces the whole cycle. he stops asking questions and goes black and white. questions are bad. he doesnt question. he Knows
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idk what this means but I get visibly uncomfortable if I don't have a piece of labradorite near me at all times
I have a piece carved into a frog that I take everywhere and I'm 10000% going to miss holding him in my hoodie pocket
#fen shut up#ive never been religious or even really spiritual bc i never really needed that for myself#but having labradorite with me is just. calming i guess?#im drawn to a lot of rocks but lab just hits different for me
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Heya! I‘ve spent my morning reading through your website and low-key your blog here and wanted to say that the way you describe Loki feels so weirdly familiar? like him being your Mad Muse resonated in a way with my experience as an artist that is somewhat similar to yours which got me thinking. some ideas or concepts come seemingly out of nowhere and get stuck until i get them out and many of them are to do with the human condition but also gender and living the true self kinda? but more like these characters feel actually alive and thus not wanting me as an author or painter to control them but to observe and conserve these observations. it often feels like a swirling mass of chaos in my mind with me racing behind trying to grasp what i see/feel (its all really vague and words are more feelings of the essence of whats said.)
If i understand correctly You often make a distinction between chaos and his trickery (i am so sorry in advance for possible weird-wording things, or completely misunderstandig you >.< english is my 2nd language) and for me personally, i delight in chaos and trickery, though not in a hurting others way, more in a good hearted fun for the shits and giggles kind? but i love chaos in the way i love a symbol, since chaos for me means change in a rather radical way but without any judgement. Things change and get chaotic but chaos itself feels more like possibility?
I have a bonus Loki-Story for you: one time he (i assume) probably annoyed a busdriver with a red light and i caught my bus after asking any god willing to help me catch that bus (it was urgent lol). I was so out of breath but the second i could breathe properly again i asked who to thank for the red light and i kid you not, i drove by a wall with a graffiti that simply said: Loki. made me chuckle ugly but i gave him the best part of my steak never the less, gotta say thanks!
There have been several of these happenings with other gods (Thor and Odin mainly but i caught a whiff of freya once while baking i think?) so now im at the point where i feel i should finally listen. Though i know nothing about working with the gods or magic ive always felt a pull to runes and even got an engraving set to make some myself.
After reading your introduction about deity work i kinda confirmed what i thought regarding knowing the basics of magic (mainly i wont use runes or magic until i know how to do it safely with warding and shielding, which brings me to my question:
Do you have any open source or freely online available sources for learning the basics of magic and getting familiar with deity work? (possibly even for absolute total beginners who boarder on dumb - hello adhd) Like how to shield/ward yourself and your house and how to cleanse. Same with sharpening the clairsenses. It sounds kind of easy when reading but when i try to actually do that i feel helpless and dont know where to start or what to do :(
I often see these things stated (on your page and in the asks you answer but also on any site regarding these topics as well.Saw this also on sunnyway when tring to read up on runes) but never really explained in a way thats friendly for beginners, and when i try googling (i am chronically out of moneys so i guess that has to do with it) all that comes up is wicca related stuff that makes me feel icky (the norse gods are generally the only pantheon and norse religion mostly the only religion that doesnt feel icky to me but that might be my catholic upbringing? the norse gods feel so healingly friend-shaped that it spooked me for years but im staring to fall in love with that. i do get its not always like that but having a kind of mutually respectful relationship with the gods is kind of all i wanted when i grew up). Im also too new i guess to be able to discern between norse practicioners and white supremacists and dont want to end up on a nazi page and learning from them :/ (Here in germany i mostly saw nazis and white supremacists wearing norse symbols which i guess kept my spanish-libanese-migrant ass away from norse paganism for so long bc i thought theyre the only ones who practice it and i really do not like the fuckers)
Thank you in advance if you decide to answer this! (And i apologize for the sheer length of this ask!!)
Sorry this took me so long to get back! If I’m not mistaken, you’re basically asking how to move from “theory” to “practical application” with paganism, magic, and spirit/deity work.
I had to sit with this for a while because I couldn’t think of an easy answer to your question, and maybe an easy answer simply doesn’t exist. For me, everything I know and everything I believe in was built upon a combination of a few things:
Introducing myself to different branches of magical theory and trying different things, even stuff that wasn’t Norse.
Familiarizing myself with MANY different spiritual and religious practices; how they work, their ethos, their worldviews, their metaphysical philosophies, and how they differ from one another.
Finding a reputable community of actual advanced pagan practitioners who gave me the tools I needed to rely on myself and helped me troubleshoot specific things.
Identifying how my clairsenses and magical tendencies manifest and working them out like a muscle, using Tarot to help confirm or refute my interpretations of experiences.
Learning to trust myself and my judgements.
Learning what bad communities look like.
Learning what Nazi-coded language looks like.
Learning what healthy relationships look like.
Trying things and learning from both my mistakes and successes.
This stuff takes months to identify and years to cultivate, and honestly the only way to do figure it out is to expose yourself to it.
One resource I started with that IS free would be Oven-Ready Chaos by Phil Hine. This is a PDF you can google and download that introduces you to the basics of Chaos Magic. Even if you’re not a chaos magician, it provides some good metaphysical philosophies that can be applied to basically any eclectic practice. This book was also the first time magic was presented to me in a way that made a damn lick of sense.
But that’s all I really have for you, unfortunately. Someday I hope to write more about this process of magical/pagan development, but I’m not at the point where I know enough about it to do so.
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big hot topic on tiktok that has been talked abt often that i wanna throw my two cents in abt the discussion but will do so here bc its going to be way easier than condensing it in 60 seconds and ppl will get even more mad abt it on there. under a cut so you can just not look if you don’t want to as it’s probably long and no one likes this discussion
disclaimer: im not jewish. culturally or religiously at all. so i do not have the best of insight of jewish folklore and i will mainly be repeating what i have heard jewish ppl say on it but you listening to jewish ppl on it will invariably be way more helpful. ultimately i am not talking to make an argument for or against lilith worship bc i can’t make that call, mainly just that arguments for it i see tend to be deeply flawed. ive seen jewish people who say they don’t care if people worship her and ive seen jewish people who are very much against it and frankly no one needs my non jewish ass giving them permission on it, i just don’t like some of the harmful arguments and at times BLATANT anti-Semitism i see in the discussions
“lilith isn’t a closed practice!!! she cant be closed!!! she’s a being/deity we can all recognize!!!”
this i feel starts with a misunderstanding of what “closed practice” means. a closed practice is a very broad term to describe any practices, typically spiritually in nature that are not freely shared 100% openly, usually due to trying to preserve cultural or religious practices. you can learn about most of them--if you go to a primary source. many people of closed practices are open about talking about it and teaching it to people who are interested, and some cannot due to years of oppression and theft of those said practices. some require initiation, and a lot of them are passed down with heavy cultural ties. and most importantly “closed practice” is a relatively new understanding of cultural preservation after colonization.
judaism isn’t a ‘fully closed’ religion, but it does have a set conversion order in place, and typically while converting you will learn under a rabbi or teacher. a lot of jewish mysticism, magic, and folklore are passed down culturally, so even converts may take a very long time to learn all the ins and outs of it. and a lot of times jewish practices, beliefs, texts, and folklore has been wholesale stolen by western new-age spiritualists, occultists throughout the ages, and demonized by people who seek to harm jewish people as a whole.
the pure fact of the matter is that unless you are learning from jewish people theres going to be a lot of things about lilith you don’t know. your understanding outside of the cultural jewish understanding of her is very different, yet you are the one who also constantly equates them as the same being with the same stories, with some modifications. yet time and time again whenever a jewish person would express anxiety over it (as she can be viewed as a very HARMFUL spirit to jewish people and not a deity for them) you talk over them and call them sexist, and when they try to correct you over misunderstandings of her stories you tell them you know more than them.
with closed practices what doesn’t matter is your bloodline or your skin, it is about the information you have access culturally, and that information may be kept from people like you so that the faith in question can be preserved because it has been threatened. and yes, jewish people have had their cultural, spiritual, and religious practices threatened. it isn’t about keeping you out because they don’t like you, its about the fact that you don’t know everything and the way you are going to learn it will be difficult and very different. ive seen white voodou workers who are actual recognized practioners (sorry for the lack of proper terminology on this i know they have proper words/titles but i dont know them), and they didn’t just look up whatever they could find online, they had to seek out a priest to learn from, and it took a lot of time and training.
there is a way to approach closed religious/spiritual practices, and someone saying ‘this is closed’ is not them saying ‘go away you cant even look at or be interested in this thing it is not for and never will be for people like YOU’. and ultimately HOW you go about approaching it will be decided by someone in that culture, and not however you feel would be the best way to do it as an outsider.
“how could so many people, if they aren’t actually contacting the “real lilith” be wrong? if shes from a closed practice she couldn’t reach out to so many people right? so they aren’t doing anything disrespectful”
spirits, deities, and other entities from closed practices do reach out to outsiders on occasion and the correct course for dealing with that is to immediately find a person of religious/spiritual authority and trying to work with that person to better understand why. again the point above: you do not have the cultural knowledge to work with them, you do not understand how to identify them, what practices best suit them, the multitudes of stories around them, and history of them working with humans. if you actually value them as an entity it is imperative you understand from a PRIMARY source all of this information, not just second and third hand accounts of outsiders.
and also a lot of colonizers have claimed to be personally connected or contacted by entities from a closed practice and use that as an excuse to not only not learn, but speak as an authority figure about them. there are people who claim to work with shinto spirits with absolutely 0 actual knowledge on shintoism yet feel like they have an authority to speak on it. there are people who claim to have been contacted by voodou, hoodou, and vodun spirits/entities and know nothing about it yet speak as authority figures on it. i’ve seen someone do it for a polynesian god. they did not care about actual learning, they cared about their own beliefs, validating those said already existing beliefs, and getting validation online. am i saying everyone is doing this with lilith? no. but saying “people wouldnt just lie/be wrong right?” yeah. yeah it happens all the time.
“they don’t even like her, they fear her, she’s a demon to them and is actually from babylonia, we are NOT worshipping the same version as her and they don’t even want anything to do with her so why does it matter”
in terms of actual cultural study a lot of jewish and christian stories are born from the cultures their people have had contact with. historically yes, jewish people have been in babylonia, assyria, and that area, and have made cultural exchanges with those people. a lot of cultural sharing has occured throughout history, but the jewish tellings of the stories have particularly jewish cultural knowledge and heritage in them. also we frankly do not have a lot of concrete surviving stories of lili, lilu, and lilitu, so i know you are not basing the meat and bones of your practice on those unless you have access to that cultural knowledge that not even archaeologists and anthropologists even know exists. most of it is on middle ages mysticism that developed her further based on jewish folklore and religious stories.
also just because a culture doesn’t worship and revere a spirit doesn’t mean it is yours for the adopting and taking. we see this with the cannibalistic spirit i will not name from algonquin tribes and shapeshifting spirits/witches i also will not name from navajo. these are not spirits you’re supposed to mention or talk about, and even more so because their culture has such intense, negative stories around them means you should probably give it a little more thought.
the last point i am going to make is the general, overt anti-semitism i see. stop comparing judaism to christianity. stop saying they are evil and misrepresent her because judaism is inherently sexist. stop saying they are oppressing your culturally christian raised ass. stop saying jewish people have no culture of their own and its “all stolen from pagan traditions” (which are somehow all equally open for you to take from too i suppose, as though middle eastern practices are exactly the same cultural weight as all white european ones)
again im not for the forceful closing of practices and i cannot give you fucking permission as i sure as shit do not know but i don’t think any of you even understand what “closed practice” means and why jewish people might have even the slightest misgivings about you working with or worshipping her and it really shows. if you have been heavily studying the occult, jewish traditions, and are doing so respectfully then i sure as hell am not here to argue with you about it so don’t come at me for it. what i am saying is a lot of people who do not have that and are absolutely disrespectful towards judaism and jewish people as a whole really keep making an ass of themselves on witchtok and are absolutely insufferable towards any jewish person who voices their thoughts and feelings on it, and i have a problem with that.
#antisemitism#lilith#ultimately this is part of a larger debate of jewish mysticism inspired old school occult traditions#but i know most of the people arguing have very little knowledge on it#hence the bad argumentation#tiktok has limited character space and time so i figured it would just be better to write it out#basically my point boils down to 'i dont know if you can do this respectfully as i am not qualified to tell you how that looks'#'but i do know that THIS way of doing it absolutely is not'
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all the colors
yas king indulge my need to talk about myself online! we stan!
orange: if you could, would you change your eye color? why? to what color, if so?
would change to green bc green eyes are gorgeous and the idea of being able to actually see your own pupils is whackadoodle
yellow: name of an artist you think is underappreciated
thin lizzy
green: do you have a favourite flower?
i do not
blue: preferred type of weather?
overcast
purple: a poem you think describes your closest friend
listen i know 2 poems off the top of my head and one of them is about a funeral and the other is the raven. i cannot answer this
magenta: do you keep your fingernails long or short?
i like long nails but i’m also a guitarist so they’re short on my left hand and long on my right. yes i know im unhinged
turquoise: favorite sea animal?
ooh girl shock me like an electric eel
cyan: are you religious? spiritual?
fuck no i actively dislike religion
sea green: can you fold a fitted sheet?
honestly? never tried
violet: are you a part of the lgbt+ community?
yup
amber: what's saved as your phone's lockscreen?
it’s like a metallica logo with a skull
aqua: do you thrift?
nope ive only bought 1 thrift store item ever
pink: what's your natural hair color?
black
beige: have any pets? what're their names?
never had any pets :(
black: would you ever try going vegetarian or vegan?
i could never i love eggs and bacon
coral: an animal you wish hadn't gone extinct
not actually extinct but yknow that post thats going around about how america used to have millions of bison
grey: how many languages do you speak? do you want to learn any more?
just english and a school-level amount of spanish, which i want to get fluent in eventually
maroon: do you care for clothing brands?
nope i just go for whatever looks cool
rose: favourite scent on a person?
no idea
charcoal: have you ever been camping?
nope
copper: gold or silver jewelry?
gold
cream: any piercings or tattoos? do you want any?
piercings: i have both nostrils, septum, and industrial and i want a bunch more
tattoos: i have a few and also want a bunch more
salmon: how many pairs of sunglasses do you own?
none bc i wear glasses but i really want a pair of aviators so ill prob have to look into getting prescription ones
ebony: would you ever want to play a game on television? (jeopardy, family fued, etc)
idk probably not
indigo: have you ever lived on a farm?
no but it seems like it might be fun
lavender: relationship status?
taken
fulvous: another name you think would suit you
i literally keep thinking about this bc i’m not sure im satisfied with kyler but i can never come up with shit. maybe just jeffrey
coconut: a subject you enjoy learning about
chemical weapons
frost: a -core you enjoy
proud to say that i do not enjoy any damn cores
porcelain: an tv show you used to love
zoey 101
fawn: any interesting family stories?
the time my dad allowed the basement to flood TWICE in TWO different houses bc he ignored my mom when she said “hey maybe you should check on the tank the shower water is turning brown” and, 3 or 4 years later, “hey maybe you should check on the tank i can quite literally hear water running under the floor”
gold: do you wear your socks mismatched?
yes all the time. it even became a running joke with my dentist bc every year id visit and lay down on the chair and my socks wouldn’t be matching
honey: your thoughts on magic- does it exist?
don’t think so
ginger: any sideblogs?
yup theyre all in my about
cherry: YouTubers you enjoy watching?
danny gonzalez, emily boo, it’s black friday
wine: do you have a 'type'
punks and metalheads basically
mahogany: your sun, moon, and rising signs
sun: capricorn. i’m not into astrology so idk any of the others
blood: twin beds, queen, or king?
i have a twin but god Damn i would like a big bed
hot pink: did you/do you had/have strong feelings against the color pink?
yeah i used to hate it but i’m accepting it back into my life again
plum: a food you've never tried
shawarma
lilac: dogs, cats, or fish?
dogs
amethyst: do you collect anything?
vinyl and i want to start a lighter collection at some point
mulberry: earbuds or headphones?
headphones
azure: jean jackets?
only if they’re black
teal: have a job?
yup
denim: kill the spider or take it outside?
kill kill kill kill k
sapphire: do you think you can sing well?
perhaps
mint: favourite flavour of gum?
hate gum. shit runs out in like 5mins and then you have to SPIT it back out? disgusting
penny: icecream or cake
ice cream
ash: can you do your own makeup?
yeah
jade: ever written fanfiction?
yeah
grape: how many blogs do you follow?
1459
umber: do you brush your teeth before you eat?
no why would i
chestnut: type of phone you have
refurbished iphone 8
prussian blue: what's your first choice at the vending machine
skittles
aquamarine: beach or pool
pool
brass: least favorite food condiment
relish. never had it but it looks nasty
mustard: how much sugar in your tea/coffee?
i don’t put sugar in tea but 2 packets for coffee
silver: ever broken a bone?
nope
rose quartz: rings or necklaces
neither really but necklaces
onyx: do you still play Minecraft?
never did
scarlet: favorite holiday
christmas, in theory
apricot: opinion on 3 in 1 body wash/hair wash
bad
platinum: do you follow politics?
yup
magnolia: your Instagram handle?
alice_nchainz
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1-100 TELL ME ALL
Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well
1. What is you middle name?
Jesse
2. How old are you?
22
3. When is your birthday?
dec 9
4. What is your zodiac sign?
sagittarius
5. What is your favorite color?
purples
6. What’s your lucky number?
9
7. Do you have any pets?
no
8. Where are you from?
bc canada. my great grandparents are from russia
9. How tall are you?
5 something
10. What shoe size are you?
7?
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
3 that i actually use
12. What was your last dream about?
i dont remember my most recent one but i had a banger of a dream i described in another post
13. What talents do you have?
i think expressing myself, or music, i have some talent that needs discipline
14. Are you psychic in any way?
well i am a spiritual person, in a way. and growing up in a toxic drama filled family, i have Developed the Skill of guessing how people are feeling and what they are gonna do. and i analyze dreams. so not psychic but i am really interested and intuitive whats goin on in there
15. Favorite song?
for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oilVq8-F4_Q colours by roosevelt ive been obsessed with lately i just loop that shit. loop loop loop. blaringit into my ears and speedwalking down thestreet. the beat.!!!! i feel like I took all the colours
16. Favorite movie?
spiderverse. i really enjoyed always be my maybe.
17. Who would be your ideal partner?
someone who doesnt make me feel like im Too Much
18. Do you want children?
not RIGHT NOW
19. Do you want a church wedding?
i have no idea actually. id want a special wedding definitely.
20. Are you religious?
yes, i honestly feel like i just come like this, i dont go by any books and i dont want to be associated with christians. if i be too religious i start getting the Bad Feelings
21. Have you ever been to the hospital?
yes visiting sick relatives. and one in a psyche ward.
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?
i got a parking ticket
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?
no. maybe i did and i had no idea who they were because id never heard of them
24. Baths or showers?
showers.
25. What color socks are you wearing?
alien socks that are green and black
26. Have you ever been famous?
no. what does that even mean !!!!
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?
yes because money but noooooo. its hard when one person definitely doesnt like me. if im famous some people just wont like me and theres going to be more of them
28. What type of music do you like?
stuff with electric guitars in it. funk. bops. i cant get enough lately
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
no
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
one. and sometimes NONE. i dont fucking know why its just more comfortable. id lie down on a floor and pass out
31. What position do you usually sleep in?
i usually cant fall asleep unless im on my face with my arms tucked under me for warmpth and general log shape. after that though its chaos. dreamin
32. How big is your house?
BIG!!!!!! so many rooms. so many people.
33. What do you typically have for breakfast?
on a Functional day, cereal. not because its my favourite thing but it doesnt require a lot of attention and its easiest to tolerate. my appetite is just. like this
34. Have you ever fired a gun?
HELL no.
35. Have you ever tried archery?
in my child days i shot my hair elastics around and pretended i was fighting aliens. this is definitely archery.
36. Favorite clean word?
i dont really think about words like that. pizza is a nice word.
37. Favorite swear word?
bitch. its really fun to say.
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?
not all that long. if i was up the entire night i am usually sleeping in midday no matter where i am. ive disappointed many teachers. its called not caring.
39. Do you have any scars?
yes, but theres no dramatic stories to them, just me not leaving scratches and bites alone as a kid. they look kind of cool though. and theyre so mysterious. youd think id have scars from self harm but no.
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
i believe so...
41. Are you a good liar?
yes, when i am 100% like morally committed to lying.
42. Are you a good judge of character?
NO. my thought process is: its rude to assume someone is going to behave badly, and they will be offended and have hurt feelings if you anticipate that. i have to like. treat everyone with exactly the same respect unless theyre a dick. otherwise its being judgmental. and it ends up as naïveté. but im okay with that . the price of being a good person
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?
i could do a british one once i guess LOL and it looks like now ive Absorbed a mexican accent but i never really try to talk in other accents
44. Do you have a strong accent?
i dont know how to answer this
45. What is your favorite accent?
idk i like new things i havent heard before. and thinking about how other languages work. theres a lot of different accents at my work and i honestly enjoy listening to them
46. What is your personality type?
that.... INFJ. see. psychic
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?
one of the gay jackets
48. Can you curl your tongue?
dont think so
49. Are you an innie or an outie?
innie
50. Left or right handed?
left
51. Are you scared of spiders?
depends. i had these big house spiders in my dungeon at my parents house, and id just be “hi” and set them free. but if i see one where im not expecting it i might yell a lot and tell everyone and run around and then set it free
52. Favorite food?
tacos from my old work. i was indeed. screaming, lost in the sauce. i waited until i was away from the restaurant because i knew all my dignity would vanish
53. Favorite foreign food?
idk... i need to eat more curry. i need more curryin my life. bring it on.
54. Are you a clean or messy person?
clean
55. Most used phrased?
“this slaps” i feel like ive been saying that a lot
56. Most used word?
I
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?
a whole entire fucking hour (when i wake up) otherwise 5min
58. Do you have much of an ego?
i do, but i hide it.
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?
chomp chomp. i am not a patient man.
60. Do you talk to yourself?
yes, when i know no ones around, or when im not worried about seeming like a crazy person at work
61. Do you sing to yourself?
nah
62. Are you a good singer?
no. i can sing and it sound okay. nice even. but good??? like beautiful?????? no.
63. Biggest Fear?
someone dying, natural disaster, new illness
64. Are you a gossip?
maybe. i feel like i have the Tendencies and then im like “am i being a bad person right now”. i want to know the deets though.
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?
i Simply Dont Have the Attention for Those
66. Do you like long or short hair?
BOTH . long hair is more fun to draw. short hair is hot
67. Can you name all 50 states of America?
fuck no. why would i. fuck off. i dont care about your states.
68. Favorite school subject?
ART ART AR T
69. Extrovert or Introvert?
introerverte
70. Have you ever been scuba diving?
no
71. What makes you nervous?
people who are not Definitely Cheerful
72. Are you scared of the dark?
no. unless i think about things to scare myself on purpose
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?
no unless they need to know. because im not a fucking ANIMAL
74. Are you ticklish?
depends. i can be not ticklish if im determined.
75. Have you ever started a rumor?
i dont think so... i started a rumor i was from mars
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?
maybe i was supposed to train some girls and then i probably didnt do a great job and they didnt listen. they say my job now is somewhat authority and im like...... ok......
77. Have you ever drank underage?
no
78. Have you ever done drugs?
no
79. Who was your first real crush?
someone whos OUTTA MY LIFE
80. How many piercings do you have?
two? i got them pierecd at claires lmao and i didnt get an infection because im so salty. then i took them out because they were from claries
81. Can you roll your Rs?“
hell yes
82. How fast can you type?
so fucking fast. faster than my work finder helper. im fast im very fast
83. How fast can you run?
IM VERY FAST
84. What color is your hair?
orange
85. What color is your eyes?
green
86. What are you allergic to?
im still trying to figure that out. whatever it is gives me hives
87. Do you keep a journal?
yes. so i can get better at handwriting and just talking in general and hear what my voice sounds like. and to have a space away from other peoples needs and pressures
88. What do your parents do?
my mom is a stay at home mom and my dad shoots pop bottles into the sky
89. Do you like your age?
sure
90. What makes you angry?
everything. cabbage. i swore about cabbage for a long time the other day. i am just full of anger.
91. Do you like your own name?
YES. i mean i chose it i better. honestly my first name ......... i feel self conscious about it sometimes. i think it was the only name for me though. it wasnt the ideal most wonderful namei could find because those didnt fit, it was MY name.
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?
im going to have two sons and im naming them brick and rusty.
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?
yeah, i want a boy a girl
94. What are you strengths?
my strengths doing all 100 questions, this is serious muscles
95. What are your weaknesses?
the exhaustion of jumping from one question to the next especially when they are vague. im not complaining this was my idea
96. How did you get your name?
i pfound it in the baby name book and i was lie “hey yyy, i saw that name in black beauty, lets use it for my gay coded villain what the hell!”
97. Were your ancestors royalty?
no but i did have some ancestors who lives i a mansions andhad fucking SERVANTS. before you call me problematic my other part of family was like sewing things and not going to school
98. Do you have any scars?
weve been over this. when im older im going to get a cool scar fighting a dragon
99. Color of your bedspread?
pink, white, blue
100. Color of your room?
white
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Do everything that you haven't already done
thanks owobiwan
angel; do you have a nickname? no not rly
awe; how old are you? 18
baby; favorite color? either red or blue
bloop; spirit animal? red panda
blossom; favorite book/movie/song? havent read a book in years, into the spiderverse was a really good movie (just saw it yesterday, 11/10 would recommend PLEASE SEE IT IF YOU HAVENT), tbh idk what my favorite song is but my favorite band is p!atd
blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child? hmmm i guess my first major stuffed animal was a bunny. i also had a lot of dogs
bright; mermaids or fairies? both??
bubbles; do you have a best friend? yea (:
buttercup; showers or baths? showers
butterfly; dream destination? japan
buttons; are you religious or spiritual? uhhhh?????? neither???? i guess spiritual if i had to pick
candlelight; what did you dream about last night? i dont remember most of my dreams unless something significant happened so idk
charming; have you ever been in love? nah
cozy; eye/hair color? brown and black respectively
cuddly; what’s your favorite time period? uhhh now i guess? although trump sucks so bad timeline
cupcake; favorite flower/plant? plants that grow fruit
cute; what did you get on your last birthday? iphone x
cutie pie; most precious item you own? my iphone x lol
cutsie; what makes you happy? talking to my friends
daisies; describe a moment when you felt free. when i came home from college for winter break lmao thank god no homework or studying i dont want to go back
daylight; favorite album of all time? oof uhhh i guess the wall by pink floyd
dear; zodiac sign? aries
delightful; concerts or museums? concerts but museums can be cool
dimples; have you ever written a letter? ..yes? lmao
dobby; dream job? something in cybersecurity would be cool
doll; how do you like to dress? tshirt and jeans, with a jacket if its cold
dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences? nope
dreams; do you want or have any tattoos? no tattoos and currently not rly interested in getting any anytime soon
euphoric; talk about someone you love. i love my parents theyre great
fairy; do you have a pet? i have a fish!
forever; where do you feel time stop? where…??? idk
froglet; are you a good plant owner? LMAO i was until i forgot about my plant for a solid week. but in my dorm my plant was one of the nicest looking ones so rip plant
garden; how many languages do you know? 2 if u count my horrible chinese that i learned in high school
giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice? sunsets and what the sky looks like
glittery; do you like anons? why/why not? sure. i mean i dont rly get any in the first place but lol
glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself
1. I’m funny (i hope anyways)
2. I’m smart (kinda)
3. I’m strong
4. I’m understanding
5. I’m good at playing music (lol i literally could not think of anything else yikes)
heart; silk or lace? silk
honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it? coffee, only if its in the form of a frappuccino
hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why? people, mainly bc its funny to watch them sometimes
hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep? no sounds in general
jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather? sunny
jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends? sleep
joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more? probably laugh loudly id say
kinky; do you blush easily? i dont think so
kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most? to have someone love me (wow i live a sad life)
ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad? idk i will listen to the same music no matter how i feel
love; what is your favorite season and why? summer bc no school and its warm
lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream? i dont eat macarons much but as for ice cream i guess smores
moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks? hmm i guess i like looking at soft pastels but cool darks are also nice
paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date? actually going on one haha
pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself? sleeping and talking to friends
precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life? dont procrastinate for too long (i say as i procrastinate writing thank you cards whoops)
pretty; do you like to cook or bake more? bake
prince; how would you describe your handwriting? ugly but surprisingly legible
princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play? yup i play lots
prinky; how do you relieve stress? listening to music
pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable? mangoes
rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read? tbh i dont even remember the last book i read
roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far? this is sad but probably getting into college and going to college
smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you? tbh probably getting an internship since i kinda (??) have a guaranteed job once i get out of college as long as i dont mess up so yea knocking on wood rn
shine; art or music? music but i love art as well
smitten; do you collect anything? not really although i used to collect state quarters (now theyre like presidents and important locations or something)
smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with? 1 usually but i can also sleep without a pillow
snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind? does my phone count
sparkle; do you wear jewelry? yea usually ill wear a watch and a necklace
spooky; sunrise or sunset? sunset, i cant get up for the sunrise anyways
sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones? headphones
starlight; what was your favourite show as a child? funny story but i think barney was my favorite show when i was rly young. but then i guess when i got older (elementary school) probably the mythbusters
soft; describe your favourite spot in your house. my desk where my computer is. its often a mess but i spend the most time there
soothe; digital or vinyl? vinyl bc im such a hipster wow i dont even own any vinyl (my dad has a bunch of records tho)
squeezed; who do you miss right now? all my college pals :(
sugary; what traits do you value most in friends? people who will laugh at my awful jokes and will tolerate me and listen to me i guess
sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing? aesthetically pleasing who needs things to be practical and useful anyways lol
sweet; do you find it easy to open up? nope lol it be like that sometimes
sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any? eh kids are ok but can also be kinda annoying so idk if id ever want any/be fit to have any anyways lol. id probably adopt tho
thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they? yup and its the person who gave me all of these to answer smh
tootsie; what kind of friend are you? one who will probably make fun of u too much but will also listen to u when u need it
velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl? night owl for sure
whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out? depends where “going out” is and with who
whiskers; do you usually wear makeup? nope ive never worn makeup
wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person? messy
wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star? no, but also i dont rly see shooting stars rip light pollution
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tag game oh dang
Oh daaaang I was tagged by @vodka-aunt-coran thank u emma ily
Nickname: Fi is my nickname!!! I’m also called Fififwekjgsssdfsdfeswahfkwfhkfawk, Lance, Finn, Fi... fi... fuh...... (how do you pronounce that name? sorry. alright), Slut Queen, Princess Fiona from Shrek, etc. etc.
Zodiac sign: Virgo
Height: 5′2″ d-d-d-d-dang I’m tiny
Last thing you googled: two point perspective photography (i was lookin for references bc I’m a busy art student I’m so tired help me)
Favorite music artist: (there’s a BUNCH of different ones holy fuck) Shawn Wasabi, Anamanaguchi, K.Flay, Kero Kero Bonito, she, The Orion Experience, Lullatone, Porter Robinson, Madeon, etc. BASICALLY anything that keeps me dancing and keeps my energy up
Song stuck in my head: Spicy Boyfriend by Shawn Wasabi??? I’m still not over it??? it’s STILL SO GOOD??
Last movie you watched: fuckin......... i can’t remember??? I’m gonna see Power Rangers later on tho.... because its the holidays and i have SOME free time (I say with a sketchbook in front of me ehehehehhhheeghhh)
What are you wearing right now: A hogwarts pyjama vest, leggings, and a bathrobe
Why did you choose your URL: fuck if i know, my friend my buddy my pal... I’ve had this url for like 3 or 4 years... I guess its bc its my name??? and it sounded ok???
Do you have any other blogs: I mean I have a couple of saved urls, which i MIGHT do something with if I have free time... I have my bismuth blog @relatablepicturesof-bismuth which i basically dont use rn because I barely have the time to keep up with SU, my aesthetic blog @mangosteen which I’ll probably change the url for bc ITS A GOOD URL AND DESERVES BETTER... i’ll use it for another blog ig its just too good. AND MY ART BLOG @fi-kelly
What did your last relationship teach you? i’ve never been in a serious relationship lmfao I mean I’ve had a thousand other things to deal with and a LOT of emotional growing to do back then, so i guess I was never ready and didnt really know the right people I wanted to date??? shruggo lmfao Ive HAD crushes and stuff but I always knew better bc I’d either be outed if I dated a girl and all the guys are assholes in my old college lmao but I GUESS in previous friendships? it’s okay to stand your ground and if you think someone is fucking you over chances are THEY DEFINITELY ARE AND YOU SHOULD PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE
religious or spiritual: I mean I’m kinda chill on the whole... that... I was raised as a Buddhist and the values that I were taught were GENERALLY... just be a nice person???..... I say.... literally talking about punching someone in the face....... above...... uhhhh.... I mean.... the whole be aware of you place in life and be aware of how you act towards others and understanding balance and stuff like just generally being a nice person, those values stayed w/ me? But I really dont practice so uh
Favorite color: I love ALL colours theyre ALL SO GOOD.... but if I had to choose one I’d have to default with blue because my entire goddamn room is so fucking blue. Like a... turquoise or a somewhat aqua blue
Average hours of sleep: It’s been fluctuating like hell... When I’m super busy I have to sleep like 5 hours a night but NOW ITS THE HOLIDAYS I pass out for like 10 hours of sweet unbroken sleep
Lucky number: I hate maths I’m an art student what the fuck is an algebra
Favorite characters: *THAT ONE RIHANNA GIF* (ill just do one from each series I mention bc if not i’ll be here forever) MY ORIGINAL BOY FINN....... GOD.... HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING SO GOOD IN YOUR LIFE??? All the characters in AT are SO good tho.... I love..... There’s also Lance (wow.... I think I just have a thing abt characters being voiced by Jeremy Shada huh) I mean I gotta say Bismuth from SU because my side blog is ALL HER (even like a year prior to her reveal), Seven from Mystic Messenger, SOKKA!!!! is my BIGGEST fave from the ATLA/LOK series (tho I LOVE all of those characters tbh) ok and also he gets NO love but GERM from NITW??? is great!!! he’s kinda an outsider but he’s super chill and great.... but MAE??? AND GREGG??? AND BEA AND ANGUS AND EVERYONE FROM NITW??? SO GOOD... and if we’re gonna bring video games into it MARU FROM STARDEW VALLEY;;; my WIFE!!! I LOVE HER!!! and from TAZ recently I LOVE all the NPCs (but REN has won me over..... in the 11th hour arc.... roswell is good too..... SLOANE AND HURLEY.......) but my FAVE from the recurring tres horny boys is TAACO... and my fave recurring npc is probably carey fangbattle.... shes badass and loves her geef so much (god i wish that were me) AND I WATCHED A PLAYTHRU OF THE FIRST PHOENIX WRIGHT GAME..... i would DIE for the skye sisters...... also gumshoe,, hes gr9
ok im gonna stop bc I have like a thousand different shows and video games in my head and Im gonna.... .stop... ive typed out too much already hrhrghghhgrh
How many blankets do you sleep with: one thick af duvet and one tiny throw, im content w/ that amount of blankets (tho.... i need more pillows.....I could always use more pillows)
Dream job: *SMASHES THE WINDOW AND RUNS OUT* okay... idk... I really wanna hone my animation skills bc in many aspects im SO bad at it... but I love either writing, directing, or character designing. yeah. its a LOT of work. I know. but I am so fucking prepared my dude. I aint gonna fail this time around lmfao
Ok I am meant.... to tag...... people........ uhhhhh.... my mind is like.... super blank rn........ bc Im still so hungry.... but if anyone wants to do it, just say I tagged you!!!
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