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idolizerp · 6 years

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[ LOADING INFORMATION ON IMPERIAL’S MAIN VOCAL SEJOO…. ]

DETAILS

CURRENT AGE: 25 DEBUT AGE: 20 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 16 SKILL POINTS: 14 VOCAL | 10 DANCE | 00 RAP | 11 PERFORMANCE SECONDARY SKILLS: Music production (r&b)

INTERVIEW

“i need this.”

it wasn’t a secret that 99 entertainment didn’t have the best reputation, everybody knew and had heard about the scandals surrounding poizn. sejoo was a trainee the first time he heard the rumours, it wasn’t hard to ignore. every corner you turned, someone was talking about it. he could see the regular glum and frustrated expressions on everyone’s faces, he wasn’t stupid. he could see it all. but along with the rumours about poizn, came the rumours that 99 would soon be throwing a bunch of trainees into a survival show, a battle of war in order to find the best of the best, or the closest to the best they could get. he couldn’t deny that he spent extra hours practising when he heard. ‘maybe this could be my chance,’ he thought to himself. a chance at finally getting somewhere, even if it was a survival show. he was sixteen, forcing and pushing himself for hours on end to become better, to become one of the chosen ones. his sleeping schedule lessened, his bones continued to ache day after day. he wanted this. he needed this. he didn’t want to be a trainee forever, to never debut. it already happened once, back in his old company. he had spent years being mistreated, not taken seriously with them, and if this was the one chance he could get at debuting, then he was going to put his all in.

although, he had doubts. he had his days where he wondered if they would even think that he would be a possible option. but somehow, whether it was luck or pity, he was chosen and it was a step closer to his dreams.

he fought long and hard on the survival show, and truth be told, he did feel bad. he felt bad when some trainees were scolded, when some didn’t make the cut. but at the end of the day, this wasn’t a way to make friends. this was a survival show, people were competing. not everybody would make it to the end, to the final product. so he knew that he had to toughen up, he couldn’t be the soft and kind guy he was, and maybe that would be part of his downfall. his mind was so engrossed in the game, for the prize that he partly lost himself along the way. he wasn’t the sweet and happy-go-lucky guy he was, instead, he had become someone who was greedy, someone who fed off the failure of others. he didn’t like who he had become, he didn’t like the image he had painted himself to be, the image that others would view him as. he didn’t want to be seen as that guy.

but it got him to where he was now, right? he was chosen, and imperial was formed. sejoo was one of the chosen, and he couldn’t have been more happy.

he didn’t stay happy for long, because before he knew it, he was quickly thrown into the spotlight, a debut that he wasn’t fully ready for. he had just been thrown into the limelight and he was lost. confused, struggling to fully settle his feet on the ground, to feel content. he didn’t feel secure. it was obvious to him that 99 had just thrown them to the audience to cover up the mess that poizn had created, imperial were being used as a band aid. and he was frustrated. they deserved better than that.

sejoo deserved better, especially after being forced to put up a front, to be someone he wasn’t. “it’s what the company want, it’s what they think is best.” he’d always tell himself, in hopes that it would justify it. they wanted him to be a distinctive mark within the group, someone who was fierce, someone who gave off a powerful vibe — one that was strong enough for people to turn a blind eye at the mess poizn had made. they wanted him to be tough, to lustful. they wanted his stage persona to match with his deep and unique voice, a sensual match.

but that wasn’t him. behind doors, he was nowhere near that. he was a softie, someone who’s smile could brighten the room up immediately, someone who was deep and had many layers to them. energetic, playful, compassionate, affectionate, witty — all things that he couldn’t show on stage. and he hated it.

he wasn’t lee sejoo of imperial to the public. he was a fake. a smirk and a few finger hearts made him someone who the audience would fawn over, and although the attention was nice, it wasn’t him. it’s difficult for him, because the image that he’s forced to portray on stage means that first encounters with people, other idols, staff etc meant that they expected him to be that person.

did he still have to live it up then?

he was thankful to be one of the lucky ones who were more private and sneaky with their personal life, which meant that he was never involved in any scandals like some of his label mates. ‘kudos to you,’ a regular praise he’d tell himself followed by a small tap on the back.

not even six months later, he was faced with the devastating news that one of their members left. he wanted to feel angry, he wanted to feel vexation, he wanted to feel the way his other group members were feeling — and he did. yet, all of those emotions were overpowered by the sadness, the feeling of pure loss. he felt disconsolate. but it wasn’t all because one of his members left. it began a cycle of negative thoughts that would constantly run through his mind.

is this it?”

“are we going to be a let down?”

“have we failed?”

he felt emotionless when the company told them that they were putting them on a hiatus. ‘this is it,’ he thought. ‘this is the end.’ they weren’t told how long, so he had nothing to look forwards to. he didn’t know when they were coming back, if they were coming back. that’s when he began to grow really resentful towards the company. he blamed them, they were the reason for this mess. ‘maybe if they managed their artists better—‘ he’d say to himself. ‘maybe if they didn’t make us feel like the last thing they cared about—‘ he’d think as he lay in bed staring at his dull wall at three in the morning.

but he tries not to let it stop him. he’s hard working, he’s diligent, he’s warm-hearted, he’s loyal, he’s optimistic that imperial will come back, stronger than ever. because, although they may be a band aid for 99’s mess, sejoo was dedicated to making the most of imperial.

BIOGRAPHY

i. — “could i do it?”

seoul at night was one of sejoo’s favourite places to be. his home life wasn’t that exciting, to be honest, it was rather boring. he didn’t have the strongest bond with his mother growing up, and with his father passing away when he was eight months — you could say that his family wasn’t the strongest. he leant to mostly live by himself, rarely seeing his mother, only when he would be heading out for school and his mother would be coming home from a night shift at the hospital. just the occasional quick catch up chat, his mother never failing to remind him to take a piece of fruit with him. ‘at least she cares that much.’ he’d mutter to himself as he walked to school munching on an apple.

his school life wasn’t much to brag about either, the only thing he really could brag about was the fact that he would always be one of the top students in his music class, but even then,

was it worth bragging about if he had nobody to brag to?

“why are you always in the music room during lunch?” he could recall one of the older students ask him, and sejoo’s simple response was, “because i have no friends.”

ii. singing on the streets became a daily routine for the boy. there was just something about that freedom, the praise he got for a voice he never quite knew he had, the smiles and beams on strangers face as something simple as his voice could make their day slightly better. a talent he didn’t think he could ever get far with, had quickly became something he relied on for some sense of happiness. sure, there was the slight fear that maybe, he never truly would get anywhere with it, but he refused to believe it at that moment in time. he spent months during the evening singing for people, until he slowly relocated to hongdae, a place where he knew there would be many eyes watching.

he was thirteen and just finished performing one night when he was scouted by a tiny, no name company, and at thirteen years old, he thought it was the best thing ever. he had no knowledge on companies, or the trainee life. with nobody to tell, no parental figure that he could go to that was actually around — he was stuck. confused.

he was lucky when he woke up one school morning to the sound of the front door opening, and he could remember jumping out of of bed and running downstairs to greet his mother as she sunk into a chair in the kitchen as she waited for the kettle to boil. he could remember it clearly, how the conversation went. he could remember telling his mother about the sudden news, so excited and happy, only for his mother to turn around and tell him,

iii. — “you’re too young.”

it was safe to say that he could quite literally feel his heart drop, and the immediate rise of anger flooded through him as he whined and pleaded, yet it still didn’t change anything. so off he went to school that day, glum face, short tempered and ultimately — upset.

he spent the day sulking like a little baby, cooped up in the corners of each class during his lessons as he let his thoughts wander to what it would be like to be a trainee, to debut, be an idol. sejoo’s wasn’t one to really dwell on things for long, but this was something he really wanted to pursue. something that would be exciting in his boring excuse of a life.

it was a few days later of sejoo’s ignoring his mother that she finally urged him to sit down and listen to her, and after glaring at her for a few moments, he huffed and sat down.

that day, he went to school jumping with joy and an explosive grin on his face. after some thinking, his mother agreed to let him become a trainee, and a few days later, the contract was signed and he was officially a trainee.

iv. — “is this worth it?”

joining a new, no name company at the age of thirteen wasn’t something shoji thought he would do. neither did he think he would be training for two years, only to slowly realise that he would never debut. at least, not with this company. they had no money, nothing to their name. a few old practice rooms that were way below the ground, that weren’t in the best state — but it had mirrors. a dance floor, and the odd microphone, and that’s all he needed.

it was humorous, really. sejoo chose to become a trainee so that his life wasn’t classed as ‘boring’ anymore, yet, becoming a trainee to a no name company didn’t change much either. it wasn’t something to boast about, because nobody really cared whether you were a trainee or not unless you were with one of the big companies. though, he didn’t want to lose hope, so he pushed himself further and further, but it wasn’t like the company cared about him. he’d dread going to practice, he knew they’d just shout at him because ‘he wasn’t doing enough’, because his vocals weren’t ‘stable enough’. they’d class him as useless, the most untalented kid out of them all that would get nowhere. and sadly, part of him believed it. two years iof being fed insults, being pushed to beyond, so much that he wore himself out to the point where he considered that, maybe having a normal life would be better than this.

maybe he just wasn’t meant to debut.

v. he spent two years being treated poorly, so poorly that part of him was genuinely scared to go to practice. he didn’t want to be verbally abused, pushed to the extent where his body and vocals just couldn’t take it. but he couldn’t turn around and ask them to stop, so instead, he took it like a champ.

but was it worth it?

being treated like he was nothing, the dirt on the bottom of their shoes — did he deserve it? he thought becoming a trainee would put him on the path to becoming an idol, the path to finally being something, but instead, the boy was greeted with foul language and confidence that was battered out of him.

he was fifteen when he left his old company, and back on the streets in hongdae he was once again. with a tiny voice that was once belting and hitting amazing notes, was now scared and worried of rejection — you could hear it in his voice. it was a few weeks later when he got scouted once again, but this time, by a company he had heard of before.

should be take it?

he was afraid. worried. if he takes this offer, would he land himself back in the same position he was before? or would he actually get somewhere, and be treated better?

it was a risk, but was it one he was willing to take.

vi. sejoo did take the risk. months later, now sixteen years old and officially a trainee for 99 entertainment. he was happier, somewhat. he was being treated better to an extent, although he still pushed himself to the limit. it was a habit he couldn’t get out of after spending two years being verbally abused.

long hours, sleepless nights — all common for the sixteen year old trainee. but those long hours and sleepless nights increased with the quick rumour of the survival show.

he was one of the lucky ones, chosen and thrown into the show, ready to be picked and prodded at by the general public. ready to be put against the other competitors, ready to let the inner feelings of desire, fear, hope, pressure, excitement — to let it all out, become a different person, to show a side of him that nobody had ever seen before.

he wasn’t going to let himself be stepped all over again.

he was going to fight.

vii. he was chosen, and imperial was formed. but before he could let the fact that he was actually a step further than he was a few years ago, he was thrown into the spotlight. a rushed debut, one he couldn’t quite grasp with the tips of his fingers. but he had to fake the confidence, had to fake the feeling of content.

they weren’t even six months into their debut when they lost a member. having had just released, and then having a member willingly leave not long after, really messed with sejoo.

he was angry, frustrated, indignant, hurt, upset, even offended.

were they not good enough? were imperial that displeasing that they pushed a member away? or was it something else?

sejoo knew that the members weren’t the closet, it was difficult to be close when you were rushed of your debut and you all knew that you were only a simple band aid for another groups mess.

but it sucked for him, because deep down, he truly did want to have a bond with his members. he truly did want to have a chemistry with them, to have a family that he never had before.

but the likelihood of that was very slim. and it was even more slim when they were forced onto hiatus.

and back came the anxiety, the fear, anger, resentment. it all came back, and he was terrified.

would they ever come back?

viii. they were on hiatus for close to two years, and of course, sejoo was bored. what was there for him to do other than practice for hours on end?

if he couldn’t do anything other than practice, then maybe he could delve into something else to keep himself occupied as he waited for their hiatus to end.

and so he threw himself into the world of music production. he had a bit of money from the sales of their debut, so using some of that to pay for the equipment, he set up his own little corner and headphones on. working day and night, figuring out how certain things worked, what they were used for.

it had quickly become something he enjoyed, and due to their hiatus, they weren’t dropping content for their fans who were waiting for them so patiently. so with permission, he would occasionally drop some songs every now and then.

at least there were some of their imps around.

ix. with the announcement of their comeback, sejoo worked hard. he had missed their imps and performing, and despite only being formed as a clean up for poizn’s mess, he wanted to make something of imperial.

he didn’t want them to be seen as what they were made for, he refused to. they were worth more than that.

x. they finally had a comeback, after two years. and nothing could have wiped the massive and beaming grin off his face as he waved to their fans who stayed for them, waited. kisses, finger hearts, teary eyes, a throat that was closing up on him from the overwhelming bundle of emotions — and then he’s crouching over, sinking to the floor, hands covering his face and the tears begin flowing, harsh sobs leaving his body. filled with every emotion he had felt during their hiatus, every bit of pain and torture that he was put through, this was it. they were back.

and hopefully for a long time.

#id.bio #id.99 #id.imperial #id.jung hoseok

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allbeendonebefore · 6 years

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What are your favourite head/canon things about Alberta

[cracks knuckles] [stretches fingers]

so i’ll just start with a disclaimer - i use sherry’s/iamp/whatever alberta and i realize ive been getting a lot of followers who are part of rp groups and whatever or people who might be interested in adding some depth to their own ocs so feel free to like… think about these things if you want if you’re thinking of doing an alberta oc?? I guess

so since that mysterious slash implies what are my fave canonical things about AB too I’ll say that there isn’t much- I go with what sherry says on canon rather than IAMP and PC because while there are a lot of things I had influence over in both projos there are a lot of things I would have done differently so we’ll start with the bio

Canon Stuff

literally all the things are accurate sooo its hard lol. Obviously the political situation has changed and the economic situation is its usual rollercoaster (WELL… but thats another time). I gotta say that the ‘alberta beef is the best thing that’s ever happened to me’ is really hitting home right now because i didnt realize how SPOILED i was by AAA beef until I got to Ontario ToT (ngl the pork here is super good and saves me money but the BEEF aAAA)

also my edmonton bias shines through at ‘he hates a part of himself called calgary’ thats by far my second fave B)))

Headcanon Stuff

ok where to start I will try to not make this an essay and i can elaborate more if you’re curious

- a lot of people will wonder about whether a province lives in the capital or the biggest city etc. and I have to say in Bertie’s case it is NEITHER. He’d never willingly live in (d)E(a)dmonton (sorry ed ilu) because Ed represents Government which he Hates and while he would spend a fair bit of time in Calgary he gets claustrophobic/exhausted - he still in my mind represents more of the rural bits of the province than the cities. I think he might move around a little, but he probably lives on a ranch between both cities but within sight of the mountains. I’m sure he has a place to stay in each city, but he’s a country boy at heart and appreciates his space, peace and quiet.

- Particularly space because Where else is he going to keep his 3 trucks + 2 ATVs + horses + 100000 cows + boat + canoe + kayak + all his camping junk + motorbikes + dirtbikes + tractor + other junk that people leave at his place

- that said his ‘birthplace’ is the southern ‘half’ of the province so he tends to kind of hover around there more- as i said he owns a ranch rather than a farm because the Quality Ranch Land is in the south and the Good Farm Land is in the north (and being eaten up by ugly houses ugh)

- still I think he spends a fair amount of time working up north in the Fort Mac area because Why Not make All the money. Even if you’re a rancher boy in the middle of nowhere, everyone in this province has ties to the oil industry one way or another. It wouldn’t make sense for him NOT to work in Oil and Gas because it’s literally the only job in the province lmao.

- His driving playlist consists of: Dean Brody, Corb Lund, Keith Urban, Ian Tyson, and the obligatory Nickelback which he listens to Un-ironically but also to piss off/drown out passengers when they’re annoying him

- He’s easily annoyed. By Everything. And Everyone. He’s the current national scapegoat and he takes it Extremely Personally depending on the context but also he has a relatively affectionate relationship with everyone and usually expresses his affection by pointed jabs.

- like he literally gets along with everyone on a personal level and not just because he buys them drinks- his worst relationships are probably with BC and Ontario and that’s just because he lives to irritate them and they respond with an appropriate amount of salt. He still doesnt mind hanging out with them and bc/ab/on/qc is an unstoppable team. He just gets extremely sensitive when anyone asks to borrow money from him and will give you an earful of ‘i work SO HARD for this money to put FOOD on YOUR TaBLe’

- generally really tight fisted with money………. only when other people are looking. he makes a big deal about how little he spends on essential services and you just look at him like ‘so you’re saying you have the money to get all this crap for this rodeo coming up but you dont have the money to take yourself to the hospital after’ and hes like [coughs up blood anime style] ‘im ok i have whiskey and benadryl at home’ [adjusts his diamond studded hat]

- really big on loyalty and straightforward conversations and has NO patience for any hypocrisy or doublespeak no matter how small. The slightest of things can send him reeling with Betrayal. Also this makes him either tight lipped or TMI, there is no in between.

- like literally reeling he’s very top heavy and you could blow him over with a sneeze, he’s all bark and only some bite. When he’s good he’s Real Good but when he’s bad he’s like a foot in the grave bad

- he’s the baby of the prairie bros but also the one with the brains- and i don’t mean in an academic sense i mean in the ‘so crazy it just might work’ sense.

- literally he’s an idiot he doesnt understand how equalization payments work no matter how many times you explain it to him. He doesn’t understand a lot of things re: the economy but he never shuts up about them.

- the easiest way to piss him off is to threaten his autonomy in any way, he will stop whatever he’s doing to put a boot up yer ass if you Dare suggest something like ‘why don’t you let ontario/canada take care of that for you’ even if he knows the way he’s doing something is garbage he will go out of his way to keep doing it because its ‘my way or the highway’.

- ‘why do you have all those guns’ ‘oh you know hunting deer and stuff’ [really its because he’s terrified a rat is going to sneak into his barn or something] [but he does actually hunt] [and he’s the type of guy to have the ‘trespassers will be shot’ signs]

- I haven’t figured out WHAT truck he drives yet but i am PROUD OF HIM for no longer putting truck nuts on it, THANK GOD that went out of fashion. (That said he does not have the stacks- his truck is lifted and Shiny and also has a handful of Alberta Strong decals/stickers.) Newf probably gave him a sticker of “The Rock” or a nfld flag and he Loves it. On a scale of most to least obnoxious trucks its Mac - Bert - Cal - Ed. It’s probably a white truck.

- i should think about things he loves more, this headcanon list is mostly things that make him angry oops xDD he loves animals a lot, and not just to eat i swear. The bigger and the more horns the better.

- he really loves driving a lot, it’s like a big part of his independence factor. I think sometimes he will just drive aimlessly late at night/early morning when it’s not busy and just go and find somewhere to look at the sky.

- he looooves digging up fossils in his spare time, or just interesting rocks in general. If you say the words animatronic dinosaur he is ALREADY THERE

- he watches a lot of sci fi and really loves star trek. So Much. he’s totally attempted mowing crop circles in his lawn/fields probably multiple times. he’s still waiting for the ufos to come land. Also has a thing for spooky places and cryptids and those weird inexplicable twilight-zone like events that only happen on road trips. did i mention the Giant Roadside Attractions.

- he has this persona of being a traditional/small-and-big-c conservative but he’s actually really into innovation and trying new things, meeting new people, etc. He interacts with so many different people lately that he’s trying to take the time to really re-evaluate himself and move away from the Klein-era “Severely Normal People” image because it doesn’t reflect him. The issue is he’s more likely to vote on economy rather than social issues so his actual progressiveness gets hidden by lack of political representation (and lets be honest he has Always hated politics). He’s got a lot of crap to sort through but he catches people who underestimate him off guard.

- was probably raised methodist/protestant/whatever but is mostly pretty secular, but he has some definite strong holdovers that make him uncomfortable about certain subjects and his first reaction to being uncomfortable is always anger.

- completely oblivious to being hit on or something or really gay situations around him but is that type of person who is like [cant walk too close to another dude because what if it looks gay bro].

- his fave cow is named buttercup

- he has definitely woken up after a night out with friends naked and alone duct taped to an air mattress and floating in the middle of a lake. true story.

- he will macgyver his way out of any situation. doesn’t mind getting down and dirty in the mud when it’s necessary. exactly the type of person to shove his hands in bitumen and squish it around or to pick up a rock and lick it or to shove a thermometer up a cow. When he gets squeamish he does his best to be bullheaded and pretend like Nothing is Wrong until he faints.

- his french is crap but he Tries- the french he knows is backwater northern AB french which he’s too shy to bring up so he feigns ignorance. His german is good and his ukrainian is passable, his spanish is fine, he’s trying to get the hang of some other languages but doesn’t tell anyone he’s practicing because he hates getting made fun of xD

- the hat and boots are Absolutely to make him look taller than he actually is. He doesn’t wear inserts but he does make sure the sole/heel on any boot he buys is Thick. Smol insecure man with a Big hat. Will spend 300 bucks on shoes, but he actually does ride/work so its an investment for him.

- heads to Arizona/Mexico in the winter when he’s not working, otherwise Banff/Jasper are his ‘budget’ vacations lol.

i love this stupid province pls ask if you have any more questions because i love to talk and i feel like i’ve said too much already lol

#pc: alberta #hapo rambles #projectcanada #iamp: alberta #iamp #iammatthewian #Anonymous #pc headcanon

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bigbrotherorre · 6 years

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FINAL EPISODE: “DENNIS IS SUCH A KING” - ALI THE REST OF THE GAME.

WEEK 13

if someone who doesn't love me wins this week then bye bye ashvika

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annoyed that sammy nominated me because i kept him safe last week whereas i could have just as easily flipped to keeping alivia and he could've left...but more than that, i'm annoyed at his speech. i dont think he should've used "you nommed me" as an excuse bc that's lame and he was the first to nom me and i nommed him back so we were even, and then i let him have veto pick when he was nommed and i made sure he got taken off. also conversation is a two way street and i dont see him trying to make a conversation with me either, he could have just said the real reason....i love hearing about how good of a player he thinks i am.... the worst case scenario is if bryce or zeezo win, i think even if the noms stay the same that i have a good chance of staying? granted that autumn and ali don't decide to turn on me and evict me

why is bryce spreading lies :( i didn't tell ali to nominate sammy....

ive made a lot of mistakes this game and there all coming at me now.. my position in the game is terrible and i can blame it on ppl playing not to their win condition or on just the wrong ppl winning comps at the wrong time, but ultimately i could have tried harder convincing ppl to see the light or to do better in challenges so ultimately its on me. feeling really hopeless this week even tho i avoided being a preveto nom i think ill be a post one if literally anyone but me wins veto. and i flopped veto (cwl). i cant wait for after the game for ali to admit that he did tell me that ashvika pushed for sammy to be nommed. order in which id vote ppl zeezo- always worked with me and if she makes it to the end she truly DID THAT ashvika- really took control of the game with her hoh win and after jose left smartly picked up the goats and became the biggest threat randy- a king love us working with/against each other throughout the game and even tho he was voted out im not one to discredit buyback winners autumn- never spoke to me but guess she didnt need to KASDHFK ali- fakest person ive ever met dennis- knows how to get to f2 at least sammy- ignores obvious facts and always makes the wrong move but good at comps so wooh (me teas too tho...)

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somehow i didnt get nommed but like so sad what the heck zeezo is going home like why is everyone so jealous that shes prettier and funnier than them :( why cant we all be her goats <3 i guess its good bc like i cant win with zeezo in the game and i can vote to keep her still, but honestly if i lose in f2 with zeezo itd still be fun bc she has had my back all game :] I AM SO SAD UGHHHH GOD HATES GAYS AND HES TAKING MY TWO WOC QUEENS BACK TO BACK. Now i have ashvika who is a queen but not my queen!! And autumn yikes hates me always :(

SORRY IVE BEEN GONE!!! I did one video confessional for Week 11 and just like never posted it lmao but I will haha and that's all behind me. But anyway I just have so many feelings. Live night is about to begin, me and Zeezo's war is finally concluding, IM STILL TRYING TO GET MY FIRST COMP WIN, and I'm trying to protect my allies at all cost. Some cracked shit is about to go down and I'm so excited and so so glad I took a nap before this cause I'm ready for anything wooo

RANDY: WIN SAMMY: ... ALI: FAKEST PERSON IVE EVER MET MAYBE TALKS A BIG GAME AND SAYS HES SUPER NICE AND EMOTIONAL BUT SUDDENLY CAN TURN THAT OFF. HE WOULD BE A GOOD VILLAIN BUT HE ACTS NICE AND DOESNT OWN IT AND MAYBE ITS JUST BC ITS SO SOON BUT I HOPE HE CHOKES AND HAS HAYFEVER FOREVER! WHAT EVEN IS HAYFEVER??? HORSE BOY AUTUMN: NEVER SPOKE TO ME BUT NICE DENNIS: FORGOT TO PUT SOMEONE ON THE LIST, KNEW HIS WAY TO F2 AND IF HE DOESNT TAKE CREDIT FOR THINGS ICON AND ID VOTE FOR HIM.

AFTER THE TRIPLE EVICTION...

OK BUT DAT TRIPLE DOE http://media2.giphy.com/media/xUA7aViRhBQPzXNAAM/giphy.gif It was dramatic, over the top, emotional, satisfying, show stopping, gut wrenching- literally everything you want out of a triple. I... don't feel bad for Breezo lmao, not after all the messiness they've caused. But doing Ashvika dirty is literally the hardest choice I've had to make in Orre. Sis I am so so sorry. I should've thrown you a vote but you know how Randy is and you really know how Dennis is. I just--- that was something I like wasn't prepared to ever do, break Ashvika's heart. But like in my beautiful dark twisted mind? It was perfect because I knew I couldn't go to the end w/ Ash but I was never going to nominate her. So here we are rip ALSO LAB AND BREEZO ALL SITTING IN JURY??? BIIIIIIITTTCCHHHHH https://media.giphy.com/media/zcAii7T9JXezS/source.gif If you're reading this, you know I sure did say I would wipe that whole group out and send them to jury and it really did come to pass. John sure did gas all of them up to win and I sure did tell him in my Week 10 goodbye message that they were all bout to walk in behind him. So in the spirit of prophesizing, let it be known that Auli aka Ali and I will make Final 3 because we are the strategic dynamic duo y'all slept on. Like correct me if I'm wrong: we've been on the right side of all 8 "merge" votes (there's no word for like opposite of pre-jury lmao), we ain't been on block since Week 6/7 and it's now Week 14, and we've downplayed our iconicism left and right so we're the last duo standing at Final 5, and no one wants to take a shot at us. BUT YALL STILL SLEEP CAUSE THE MIST IS THAT STRONG. That's ok though! When Randy and Sammy walk into jury next y'all will see Also I'm dead at how much jury hates Ali hahaha. Deadass he has to stay in the game for safety reasons. Like soooo many jurors wanna kill him. That's my ride or die though so I can't let that happen. Anyway I still feel like shit for obeying Randy, which hurt Ashvika, made Dennis cry, and further dragged Ali's corpse. But the good news is woooo it's Final 5 and these boys all want to take Auli to the end. So do I NEED to win this HOH? No not really. Am I still praying and pleading with God like I do before every comp? Absolutely https://media1.tenor.com/images/1a11748f0c7ce30ab4afd057fab66751/tenor.gif?itemid=5677211

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Me when I shocked the nation and won HOH and finally had power in the house after 13 weeks https://78.media.tumblr.com/2a8c6d7cc298da364a847f8f9d767c7c/tumblr_opiih6Z7tB1ub3fcfo1_500.gif Me then using said power to target my baby Randy for the greater good https://media.giphy.com/media/hic9t15zsdwfC/giphy.gif And now me that I'm selling my entire family, land, soul, and wig collection to get Dennis to keep me and kill Sammy so that I'm not Ika Wonged because I know for a fact Ali would take me to F2 and Dennis would be a dumbass not to take me too. AND I ALWAYS BELIEVED IF I WENT UP A FOURTH TIME THAT WOULD BE THE TIME I GO UP ON THE BLOCK AND DONT COME BACK DOWN SO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DENNIS BE STRATEGIC AND KEEP ME https://i.pinimg.com/originals/23/53/9d/23539d4ab6c13adab50940426d73ed6e.gif

[AFTER F4 EVICTION]

WAIT WHAT HOW AM I ALIVE?? https://media.giphy.com/media/TZ388aYpsLMcM/giphy.gif AND HOW THE FUCK DID I MAKE FINAL 3??? https://yiaelxzosjw9p4bs-zippykid.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/happy-crying.gif Pray for me if I win Final HOH cause fun fact: I, the strategic legend, have no clue who to fucking take to the end and that's the biggest gag of the entire season BECAUSE I DIDN'T PLAN OUT THIS FAR GODDAMMIT AND I WISH I HAD. Ok that's not entirely true- I knew I should either sit next to Dennis or Ali because ya know contingency plans matter. BUT NOW??? Bitch ion know I just wanna win

CLICK HERE & HERE TO SEE DENNIS’ VIDEO DIARY ROOMS!

i've never seen a better reflection of the emotional rollercoaster that is my mental state than these two being filmed less than 12 hours apart jasldfa

CLICK HERE AND HERE TO SEE ALI’S VIDEO DIARY ROOMS!

okay i have lots of post finale thoughts but i need to type them up tomorrow. i just hope the jury knows how sorry I am if I ever upset them, because I love them all so much and would never want that :(

time for my post finale wrap up and.... whewie. This is so upsetting because, I just did this for all stars. Like it's looking like my track record is LITERALLY going to be 2nd 9th 2nd 2nd 2nd, I CANT COME 2ND AGAIN. I really can't take this. Here is the bigger problem though and this is why Orre will be my last game whether I win or not. I can't keep playing these games when I upset so many people. Like it honestly broke my heart yesterday hearing how much I upset people like Bryce & Ashvika, people I love SOOOOOOO much. I don't want to upset people. Like... what upset me about finale is I don't think the jurors realise that.... I didn't just upset people for the sake of it and ahhh. Honestly, I'm really upset, like not even that I'm coming second but that I upset people. So with that said, I really apologise to the jurors. I got the impression that I hurt you all so bad that you are giving me 2nd as like.... punishment? And while I hate that, if I hurt you all that bad I really owe you all an apology. Anywho, since this is definitely my last game, I've played 183 days worth of games to just come 2nd, and that's just too much. I'm too flawed of a person and player to continue playing these games and just keep coming 2nd. Like it just hurts. so yeah, i'm sad but mainly because this is deja vu. I'm so proud of Dennis for winning, he is such a sweet genuine guy and when he was complimenting me during the finale, it was the nicest thing I've ever heard and I'm so greatful. No matter my game or his, I'd be happy to see Dennis represent our season.

Can I just say... Dennis is such a king. What a kind-hearted, genuine guy. A true king.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH DENNIS’ VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

okay so I lost.... and I'm weirdly at peace with it. I know I answered the jury questions terribly and I had... some jurors that would never have it in them to vote for me and would actively campaign against me. Dennis is a king, and in a cast with toxicity and SUCH bitterness, I think he is a phenomenal representation for the season. Otherwise, I am really honoured to get Ashvika's vote, she is such a deserving POTS, and to get POTS' vote is always an honour. Autumn and Jose are amazing friends and I am so happy to have got to work with them, John is a player with SUCH potential and he is WINNING BOTS & Zeezo I'm really honoured to get her vote too! For the others, Bryce is a KING and so is Blake (they both seemed really upset by me so I hope we can be friends). Lynn I never spoke to and seems... very bitter about the season's result, but I hope she gets over it because she is also a QUEEN. Randy is a funny one and I'm starting to worry all his friend talk was just him playing into my emotional side, but he is a good egg really I know it. Sammy is a ghost king. I kinda want to end on Alivia. Alivia is a person whose personality is obviously very different to mine and the way she speaks to me and others really upsets me a lot of the time. However, her bitterness against me is understandable and I hope she gets over it, because she defines herself by anger and bitterness when she is such a funny and likable person and doesn't need to do that. but woo... to wrap stuff up, I'm so grateful for Nicholas & Julia for casting me, Owen & Emily for being amazing.... OH, I forgot what I wanted to say. Autumn is a queen, a legend and amazing. She is honestly soo soo amazing, like... someone I really admire and see as a rolemodel? she is inspirational, a queen and a legend. Dennis is the nicest, most well intentioned guy ever SO sweet and really just a genuinely nice guy. I have made lasting friendships with some members of this cast and I'm so happy. so yeah.... i'll probably do another one of these in like a day or so, but if not.... ali out woo

we love coming to jury and being told about my ""showmance""".... wanna die jadfkl. my only showmance was to snakery, my way of life. blake was robbed but also is a broccoli. last words? autumn and dennis are my faves, best F3 ever.

FINAL CAST ASSESSMENT

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