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#ive either been on natsu or working
zenobomber · 2 years
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𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙀𝙍  001 : THE OUTSIDE .
NAME :  aki maeno. EYE  COLOUR : light red. HAIR  STYLE   /   COLOR : red hair, choppily cut. he did it himself! there is always, always a long few strands of hair kept by his bangs that he braids and ties off with a blue ribbon.  HEIGHT :  162 cm ( 5′4 ). CLOTHING  STYLE :  it depends. he typically just wears his binder, an oversized shirt, arm warmers, baggy pants, and sandals. he has a horrible sense of fashion and almost all of his clothes are hand-me-downs from fuyu. he dresses incredibly casually and usually in shorts and oversized shirts, occasionally sporting a bucket hat. but, if he’s going to work or he has some more professional business to take care of - button ups, jackets, slacks, and dress shoes. PHYSICAL  FEATURE :  short and thin. he has scarring on his arm from repeated use of IV needles during his time being experimented on, and has a deep jagged scar on his damaged leg. you’ll never spot him without his cane - but you’ll often catch him without his glasses. 
𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙀𝙍  002 : THE INSIDE .
FEARS : the ocean / pools / baths / any body of water , being forced to kill someone he loves again , losing the people he loves GUILTY PLEASURES :  sleeping in way too late.  BIGGEST PET PEEVE : talking over people. AMBITIONS FOR THE FUTURE :  cure zeno 
𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙀𝙍  003 : THOUGHTS .
FIRST  THOUGHTS  WAKING  UP :  it’s either “how late am i to work” or wondering how his loved ones are doing. WHAT  THEY  THINK  ABOUT  MOST : natsu.  WHAT  THEY  THINK  ABOUT  BEFORE  BED :  whatever book he just finished before falling asleep.  WHAT  THEY  THINK  THEIR  BEST  QUALITY  IS : he’s the only one that can cure zeno the way it is. that’s what he’s good for. 
𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙀𝙍  004 : WHAT’S BETTER ?
SINGLE  OR  GROUP  DATES :  single dates. he doesn’t like people that much. TO  BE  LOVED  OR  RESPECTED : loved.  BEAUTY  OR  BRAINS :  brains. ( he’s a genius after all! ) DOGS  OR  CATS :  dogs. he hates cats. 
𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙀𝙍  005 :     DO THEY …
LIE : never. but he can avoid saying things to get out of having to lie or tell the truth.  BELIEVE  IN  THEMSELF :  not entirely. but he has to pretend he does.  BELIEVE  IN  LOVE : absolutely. WANT  SOMEONE :  always the people he can never have. 
𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙀𝙍  006 :    HAVE THEY EVER …
BEEN  ON  STAGE :  no. DONE  DRUGS : yes, but not willingly. perks of being a #human experiment for a year.  CHANGED  WHO  THEY  WERE  TO  FIT  IN :  absolutely. he’s a chameleon with socializing when he knows he needs to get along with someone. 
𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙀𝙍  007 : FAVORITES .
FAVORITE  COLOR : blue.  FAVORITE  ANIMAL : rabbits.  FAVORITE  BOOK : any medical textbook or thesis journal.  FAVORITE  GAME :  none. 
𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙀𝙍  008 : AGE .
DAY  THEIR  NEXT  BIRTHDAY  WILL  BE :  his birthday just passed - 7 / 12.  HOW  OLD  WILL  THEY  BE : 26. 
𝙇𝘼𝙔𝙀𝙍  009 : FINISH THE SENTENCE .
I  LOVE :  the people i was able to protect.  I  FEEL :  guilty.  I HIDE :  my guilt, my crimes. the hurt i’ve caused.  I  MISS :  the way things used to be, even if i can never go back.  I  WISH :  i could fix the things i broke. 
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zevlors-tail · 3 years
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sweater how tf are you shifting ive been trying since sept and i’m so over it at this point 😐
NOTHINGS WORKED I GOT CLOSE ONCE IN SEPT AND THAT WAS THE LAST TIME
-🧃
Okay so idk if you’ve seen any of my previous posts but I haven’t fully shifted for an extended amount of time yet. :( I also got really really close ONE TIME when I first started (the very first time was dumb luck COMPLETELY. I ended up in sleep paralysis/the in between and heard breathing that didn’t belong to me or the person sleeping next to me), but if I’m being completely honest, it’s really hard for me to ground myself and be fully in the moment/aware of where I am as well as to focus my thoughts and mindset. I have racing thoughts, and so when I try to lie down and empty my head, they just keep coming and don’t stop, and most of them are intrusive so like...idk. It’s frustrating for sure.
I’m 99% sure I accidentally shifted exactly one time, and it was for like a whole minute or half of a minute haha. I ended up in Fairy Tail and the reason I believe I shifted is because it looked extremely hyper-realistic and vivid. It could have been a lucid dream tho- I’m not for sure either way. During my experience, I got put under some gravity magic or something of the sort and I was pinned to the ground with Natsu and Erza and Gray, so I couldn’t move at all- which makes me question if I really shifted or if it was just a lucid dream where I may have been in control for a bit.
I feel your pain though, I get worked up over it and give myself so much anxiety and grief over what I’m doing wrong, what I’m doing right, and I just cannot let it go for some reason! And that stuff I can work through, eventually...I just have to give myself time. I hate that I overanalyze everything lol. Also...patience is a virtue, and I lost it over time. :( Meditating is hard for me now most times; it gets better with more practice but calming the mind is never an easy feat. >:(
This isn’t important in the long run, but I’ve been trying since like...oh, I think whenever it started showing up on tinktank? The earliest screenshots I could find of script formatting and stuff related to shifting is dated for February in my phone, so it must have been around Jan/Feb when I started trying to shift.
All this to say that I totally understand any frustrations you have and I haven’t gotten to experience it yet either. Sometimes I doubt whether it’s real or not but I just think that...there wouldn’t be so many people talking about it if it wasn’t. Like, there’s no way that it could be an inside joke when so many people have had experiences with it. I’ve seen people cry over it, I’ve seen genuine happiness in their eyes, and that has to be real, right?
I want my big dumb brain to believe. I want to enjoy life. I want to go experience other realities too! I’m wishing you the best on your own journey and if you ever want to come tell me stories related to shifting or talk about shifting in general, you can always drop me an ask! This is a safe space for ages 18+ shifters, especially bc I don’t see many adults trying to shift! I’m all ears lol!
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autumn-foxfire · 3 years
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This might be just because ive been thinking about fuyumi n rei recently n digging in to more then was actually shown but fuck it, horikoshi is shitty at developing the main women i have little hope for fuyumi n rei so this is what i was thinking.
I think the reason for Fuyumis reaction of trying to keep the family whole kind of steems from that probably being her role for the longest time. Like she lost her mother n older brother and was left the oldest child in the house, not to mention the female child at age like 12-13. We cant know the details but judging by the way she cooked for the family and acted like the host we can say that she probably took over some sort of care taker role. We saw endeavor do the dishes so i would like to think he also shouldered a part of domestic burden as did the boys but we cant really know since this is endeavor when hes actually trying to do better n i dont think we've really seen the boys do much. But either way Fuyumi was left as the older sister, without Rei in the house and probably feeling just as responsible as Rei to take care of and protect her siblings.
I think we see her lament at some point that she couldnt protect shouto more.
I see fuyumi as someobe who since her preteens has defined herself in his role of trying to keep the family together. She lost her mother and had to contend with endeavors behavior toward her baby brother and somehow keep the family from falling apart more then it already did. She is extremly family driven and she had already lost two members. I think its very sensible of her to be eager to integrate enji back in, since this might be an answer to all her hard work. Like ye she should have let natsu not be there if he didnt want to be i do understand where shes coming from.
Idk if any of this makes sensevghf ive written it while coming from college (oh ye n natsu jumped ship as soon as college gave him an excuse) tired n hungry so shrug emoji if it just sounds senseless. Ive just been thinking about fuyumi n rei lately so i wanted to get some of those thoughts out
!!!!
This was actually a really good read and breakdown on Fuyumi that I had never considered before. I think sometimes I’m too critical towards her because I’m a bit bitter about her treatment of Natsuo as it hit a bit too close to home to me (family members forcing me to interact with others that I’m not comfortable with because they wanted us to be a family before. Just having been in Natsuo’s shoes before, I know what it’s like to have your feelings dismissed like that and it’s not fun so I think I’ve had a bit of a chip on my shoulder when it comes to Fuyumi because of that).
But as you said, Fuyumi also has been impacted by Endeavor’s abuse in her own way. She may not have been physically harmed but because of his neglect she had to pick up the slack for the others and probably matured much more quicker then she should have had too. Especially when Rei was hospitalized and she took over her duties (she was only around 13 at the time I think, way too young to be responsible for her younger brothers).
I really should cut her some slack, especially because she’s probably confused and conflicted herself but because she’s always had the “caretaker” role, she hasn’t had the chance to express it like her brothers can openly.
Hopefully Horikoshi will let us see more about Fuyumi and how she feels in the future. It’s not fair that her brothers get this development and she gets left in the dust after all, she’s just as much as a victim as they are after all.
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mamabearcat · 5 years
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All Fired Up - Part 1
So, I was inspired yesterday by @fainttwinkling‘s amazing fan art of Fireman Natsu rescuing Lucy and Plue. I may have written a little something. It was only going to be a one-shot, but it looks like it’s gonna be a two-parter. For everyone waiting on my other fics, what can I say. I’m sorry! They’re coming, I promise. Sooooo, without further ado, here’s part one.
Edited to add link to FF.net All Fired Up
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Natsu jogged down the smoke-filled hallway, the torch on his hip doing little to illuminate the area directly in front of him. The fire was crackling further down the dark passageway, gaining hold; he needed to do this search sweep quickly so the team setting up two floors down could move in and fight the blaze. He’d already lost sight of his partner Gray in the haze, even though he was only a few feet away as he searched the apartments on the other side of the hallway.
 “Hello? Anyone up here?”, he yelled, voice muffled by the rubber mask of his breathing apparatus. Most of the tenants had already evacuated down the exterior fire escapes and were huddled in an anxious crowd in a small park across the street, but it was his job to quickly look for anyone unable to get out of the building. He systematically tested each door as he moved past. He was almost at the end of the hall, closest to the fire when he heard a dog barking. A small dog, by the sounds of the frantic high-pitched yapping.
 His hand went to try the door knob, but it was already ajar. It was impossible to see anything through the thick smoke in this room, so he dropped to his hands and knees, using his hands and arms to feel. It was almost unbearably hot, he could see flames pushing into the room, the vicious crackle audible over the hiss of his breathing apparatus.
 “Hey dog. Little help buddy? Where are ya?” A whimpering sound came from his left side and he reached out his gloved hand, but instead of a small dog, found the definite shape of a human arm, a woman’s arm he guessed, by the size and shape.
 “Gray, you there? I found someone. Evacuating her now. Are the paramedics out the front yet?” He could hardly see her in the darkness of the smoke-filled room, but managed to drag her towards him, rolling her carefully onto her stomach. He felt relief punch his gut when he heard a soft moan; she was still alive. He dragged her upwards so he could tuck his head under her arm and haul her onto his back, one hand around her slender wrist, the other tucked around her thigh.
 Gray’s voice crackled over the radio in his ear. “Yeah, Elfman said they’re out the front already. Natsu, you need to get out. Your time’s up, your tank should be close to empty. Do you think there’s anyone else?”
 “Nope, this was the last apartment. Fire’s in the apartment at the end of the hall, western side.”
 “No one on this side either so the floor’s clear. You take the injured person out; Elfman said the exterior crew’s just about to send up a ladder”, responded Gray.
 Natsu shrugged the woman into position and was about to get to his feet when he heard another sharp bark. A small white dog was whimpering on the floor, cowering against his leg.
 “Hey buddy. Thanks for letting me know where your girl was. Good job. But now it’s time to go.” He transferred the woman’s wrist to the same arm hooked around her leg to lock her securely into a fireman’s carry and scooped up the small dog with his other hand as he stood. There was a dull roar as the fire in the apartment began to take hold, rippling across the ceiling above him like it was alive, dropping embers around them. It was definitely time to leave.
 Natsu stepped out into the now pitch-black hallway, using his shoulder as a guide to find where the opening of the stairwell was. He could hear Gray following him down, the sound of the slightly taller man’s heavy boots echoing in the stairwell. Once they’d gone down one flight, Gray gave the all clear to send in the fire fighting crew with their hoses. Hopefully they’d caught it in time before it had jumped to the next level.
 The woman in his arms moaned suddenly. “No, stay away!” she slurred, then coughed, her breath gasping a little as she twisted weakly in his arms. Natsu maintained a firm grip on her.
 “Hey, it’s okay Ma’am. You’re safe now. There was a fire in your apartment, I’m with the Magnolia Fire Department. Just take it easy while I get you to safety.”
 “You’re not him? He hit me…my head”, the woman slurred again. She coughed, her breath wheezing, and Natsu hustled down the steps a little faster. She sounded disorientated, which was common with smoke inhalation injuries. The best thing he could do for her was to get her to the paramedics quickly so they could get her on oxygen and assess her injuries.
 “Gray, I’m takin’ her to the paramedics. You okay to make a report?” Gray nodded, holding the front door of the apartment building open for him before walking over to the crew gathered around the fire engine in front of the building.
 Natsu jogged out of the building and across the road to where the paramedics where waiting. Wendy had an oxygen mask at the ready; Elfman must have let them know he was coming. “Hey Wendy. I got someone for you. She’s been lapsing in and out of consciousness, coughing and wheezing and sounded a little disorientated. Fire had already taken hold, so I’d err on the side of caution and say carbon monoxide poisoning as well as smoke inhalation.”
 Natsu placed the dog gently on the ground for a moment so he could use both hands to carefully lay the woman down on the gurney as she continued to cough. He removed his helmet, breathing apparatus and hood, taking in a deep lungful of the smoky night air. The cooler air was a balm to his heated cheeks and soaked hair, the lighter pink darkened by sweat. He looked down at the woman on the gurney, able to get a good look at the woman he’d saved for the first time, now that he’d removed his safety equipment. She looked to be in her mid-twenties and had obviously had a rough night. Her skin was paled to a porcelain white, a stark contrast to the dark soot collected around her mouth and nose and the blood smearing her temple and golden blonde hair. Her cocoa eyes were wide and frightened. As Natsu moved to get out of the paramedic’s way she grabbed his arm.
 “Plue”, she rasped, the effort of speaking making her cough more. “My dog, he was there…”
 Natsu gave her a reassuring grin. “It’s okay ma’am, try not to speak. I got ‘im. He was the reason I found you. He’s one brave pooch.” He moved to one side to let Wendy in to assess the woman’s injuries but picked up the small dog and held him so she could see her dog in his arms. The little white dog’s tail wagged sluggishly as he heard his owner’s voice, and he managed a few barking coughs similar to his owner. She reached out to stroke the furry ears.
 “That’s twice... you’ve saved me... tonight... Plue. Good... boy”, she wheezed. Her arm tugged weakly on the heavy fabric of Natsu’s heavy jacket. He could see she was in a lot of pain, but she looked up at him and gave him a grateful smile that went straight to his heart. “Thank... you.” She was stopped from saying any more as the blue haired paramedic gently placed an oxygen mark over her face.
 “Lay back now ma’am. What’s your name?”
 “Lu…Lucy”.
 “Okay Lucy. I’m treating you for smoke inhalation. I know you’re probably in a lot of pain right now, and I’ll be giving you something for that in just a moment. You’ve got a few second degree burns on your arms and legs. I’m assuming you’ve got a pretty bad headache too huh?”
 “Yeah”. Lucy closed her eyes, her breathing still raspy. “He hit me.”
 “Who hit you?”
 “The guy. The guy who started the fire…”
 Natsu and Wendy shared a concerned look as Romeo set up an IV line.
 “You’re takin’ her to Magnolia Central, right cuz?” asked Natsu. Wendy nodded, securing Lucy safely on the gurney with straps before she and Romeo loaded her into the back of the ambulance. “Tell her I’ll take care of her dog for her.” 
Wendy nodded as she moved closer to Lucy in the back of the ambulance, placing a pulse oximeter on her finger-tip to monitor her heart rate and oxygen levels. Romeo shut the back door and climbed up in front.
 “See ya later Natsu”, he called as he started up the engine.
 “Yeah, later kiddo”, teased Natsu, chuckling as Romeo rolled his eyes at him. The ambulance drove off, and Natsu looked down at the dog whimpering in his arms. “Hey, don’t worry ‘bout it Plue. I’m sure she’ll be fine. We’ll go visit later huh, after we get you looked at first.” He turned back towards the fire, which was now mostly out thanks to the teams working both inside and outside the apartment block.
 He put his fingers to his earpiece. “Hey Gray, ya loser. Still there?”
 “Yeah. What’s up flame brain?”
 “Tell the chief he needs to call Erza. I think we’ve got more than a simple house fire on our hands. The woman had a head wound which she said was inflicted by a man who set the fire.”
 “Dammit. Looks like our arsonist is at it again.”
 “Yeah. And tell the Captain after I finish my report, I’m gonna have to end my shift early.”
 “What’s wrong you idiot. Don’t tell me you got yourself injured?”
 “Nah. I’m dog sitting for Lucy. Know any good vets around here?”
Edited to add - a linkydink to Part Two
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doginshoe · 5 years
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Draconian Huntress IV
Summary: In a time where there is an impending war to come, Lucy sets forth to find the draconian people in order to shift the tides against the demon King Zeref that threatens to take over Fiore
ff.net link here
Lucy rubbed her wrists together uncomfortably while she was pushed forward by the Goblin that held a spear at her back. The confines on her wrists were unpleasant, the rough vine irritating her skin while she shifted her hands, rubbing a small rock against the weak material.
Her bow was being carried at the front. The glint of the gold arrows and the intricate fiery scales capturing the well known hoarder fiends attention. The archer was lucky they had been fascinated with it as, apart from a sack of dried meat and the waterskin that Wendy had with her, all their travelling gear had been lost back at the clearing. If it had been left behind then they were as good as dead as the only able bodies were her and Wendy - that was if she could release the young diplomats binding as well as her own without the hideous monsters from noticing.
Lucy’s brown eyes found Gray behind her bow. He was knocked out cold whilst he had been tangled in the tree and then tied to a sturdy log so two Goblins could carry him easily. If they were in different circumstances she would’ve laughed at the way they had slung the winter sprite up like a freshly caught fawn that was ready to be cooked on a spitting fire. Oh, would Juvia cry at the mistreatment of her beloved, Lucy thought.
However, if they were to be free than Lucy would need to wait. Only a distraction would be able to give her the advantage needed to reach her trusted weapon. However, she was in no rush. They were walking East and that was all that mattered - that they made it in time to the Draconian kingdom.
The thought made a pool of anxiousness settle in her stomach. She was just about to reach the dear age of six when her mother had awoken her in the middle of the night and took her away from everything she knew. She could recall the faint memories of her training, how she had been so excited to begin to learn to work with her magic while she used her bow - only just beginning to understand the first technique before it was cut short. The happy nostalgia was tinged with the hatred from her mother's death. Lucy’s glassy eyes scanning her surrounding area while they were marched forward. They had driven them out and forced her mother to fend for herself and a child.
Lucy clenched her teeth at the memory - how the demons attacked her mother just before they could reach help. The blow the older Heartfilia took trying to protect her had been her oncoming demise as she grew sick with fever from the large wound on her stomach. Her life was snuffed the day after they were taken into the home of a friendly Fairy, Erza Scarlet - an independent fourteen year old whose parents were also taken too soon.
A low rumble that reverberated through the ground shook Lucy from her reverie - stumbling as she tried to gain her balance when the Goblins has stopped. Her eyes snapped up and searched their surroundings but soon the earth stopped shaking and left them with an eerie silence. The forest stayed deadly still and even the creatures around her looked nervous. Lucy glanced back towards Wendy only to freeze. In the distance, towering over the trees was a beast.
The first head to the left was a Goats. Its hair was deep brown and matted with bushes - eyes slits that seem to roll in its head. As for the right, a Serpent crooned high above. Its horns curled to the back of its head and it snapped with its strong jaws that held rows of sharp teeth, fire spitting out of its mouth. In the middle a Lions head snarled. Blood stained it maul as its lips curled up, showing its large teeth that could rip through flesh like butter. The mane that surrounded it feathered out to golden fur that had been marred with dirt and blood, but soon turned into deep red scales as two bat like wings branched out either side of its huge body. However, the terrifying creature continued and where a tail should’ve been, a snake's head hissed as it curled around the side, its black colour blending it into the shadow of the large beast.
The young archer sucked in a breath - her heart beating in her chest a mile a minute as she stared at all four heads of the monster before her, all of them staring right back at her as the Lion gave a roar that deafened those around her and had them falling to their knees, Wendy screaming for her as they fell. Lucy winced as she tried to stay upright, her ears ringing even as the animalistic cry echoed in the distance. She watched as the hoofs of the beasts hind legs kicked at the dirt, knocking at the tree and cracking its trunk. It was ready to charge.
*line cut*
Footsteps echoed on black stone floors as the advisor chased after the young prince on the walkway. Large red curtains hung from marble pillars and were pulled across, trying together with gold ropes to shield the castle and its inhabitants from the winds that rose violently in the night whilst also giving privacy to the tense conversation from unwelcome listeners.
“Please, Sire, you have to reconsider. It’s law that you must only enter the throne with a betrothed,” the old advisor spoke as he hurried behind his prince, “Its been years since your father has disappeared and the people are beginning to grow restless.”
The young man stopped abruptly and turned a glare on him. “It’s also in our nature that we only can promise ourselves to one. Don’t you think I would like to take my place as King?” He growled and the older man shrunk in on himself at the anger that rolled off of him.
“Prince Natsu, she’s dea-”
“She’s not,” he cut in, “I can feel it. You know that my magic was twined within that gift, Yajima. I know that she’s alive.” His eyes softened as he looked into the fire’s of the torches that lined the pillars. His betrothed was already out there somewhere - he would not be allowed to ever give himself to someone else unless she was dead. He could feel his magic cry at the loss, the dragon that it embodied grieving at the loss. Natsu could feel the pain and it bothered him even if he hadn’t ever reflected on these types of feelings. He wasn’t a man of romance.
“Shall we send out the scouts again?” Yajima asked.
Natsu frowned as he continued to stare at the flames as they licked the air. It had been some time since they had gone looking for her, the last search being called off as demons had a group of his people. It was dangerous to go, however, he couldn’t run a kingdom without being the King - he was surprised there hadn’t been an uprising already, but he knew it was the memory of his father and the respect that they had for him keeping them in check.
The prince sighed as he adjusted the heavy royal garments that he had to adorn for today’s meeting. The troubles of a runaway bride seemed endless.
“I’ll go out myself. I’ll take a small scouting group and we’ll leave tomorrow,” he ordered as his dark green eyes turned back to his advisor.
“Very well.”
Yajima bowed before walking then turned around.
Natsu watched his retreating figure before he himself stalked back to his room. He kept his head low as he thought through the situation. The whole kingdom had been in shut down since his father had disappeared and it only continued to worsen as he couldn't rightfully have the throne. His only option was to find her, but they had cut all ties with kingdoms in hopes that no one would know of how dire the situation was in here so they couldn't search across borders.
The prince grumbled before he collapsed on his large bed - too tired to even strip off his uncomfortable clothes. It had been a long day.
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ratretro · 6 years
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Title: Obstacles
Pairing: NaLu
Prompt: NaLu Angst Week 2018 - Obstacles
Rating: M; Ages 18+!
None of these characters are owned by me, they are all owned by the wonderful Hiro Mashima!
A/N:
I hope this came out well because I wanted to make it kind of fun and kind of awful
But the good kind of awful
Idk my angst game is weak rn im sorry tbh
Of course it happens right as angst week writing begins lmao heres an arranged marriage au for you all
also I won’t be doing tomorrows prompt unless i have time to complete it ive got some stuff to work out
FF.net
           The male beside her had eyes the shade of the night sky on the new moon; cold and empty. His hand was resting comfortably on her hip, but she’d felt his fingers twitch each time she walked by. The she Lucy was referring to was not herself, but a smaller girl on the other side of the room. The girl with the flowing, soft blonde hair that fell in waves with ribbons adorning both sides of her head in perfect symmetry. Her gown was a shade of pink that reminded Lucy distinctly of cherry blossoms, and though it was elegant she could tell the fabric was lightweight and the design specifically made to appear as though it matched the overall feel of the party. This made sense considering Mavis was cunning, and tactful. She needed to be quick on the floor, but she also needed to blend in. She was her father’s advisor, and an outstanding one if this party wasn’t a testament to her hard work.
             The manor they lived in was all shimmering gold, and sparkling wine. The chandeliers were perfectly lit, and every bulb had been replaced in light of tonight’s event. Once again, her husband’s hand twitched as the sprite of a girl passed. Lucy didn’t much care on the transgressions of her husband. They’d made an agreement after all. That didn’t stop her from glowering at him. He was an idiot, and it was like he wanted to get caught. In truth, he probably did. Then he could stop the charade and be with the woman he actually loved. However, that wouldn’t do well for Lucy. Her father would just find another man to marry her to and she couldn’t have that. She may have wished it in the beginning, but too much was at stake now. Her father wouldn’t care if the male beside her was having an affair, but to bring public shame to the family would be a disgrace.
             “Careful, darling.” She placed emphasis on the pet name, and once more her smile full of lies graced her face. “You’ll get us caught.” She mumbled below her breath to keep their conversation from being overheard.
             “The only reason I agreed to your deal is my brother. Otherwise, I would have left with her long ago.” He muttered back to her. His tone having shifted from ‘overly excitable husband’ to ‘don’t get cocky’ in a matter of seconds. Two could play at this game.
             “I know that. I don’t care. Don’t. Get. Caught.” Each word was said through gritted teeth.
             “Oh my! Look at the happy couple!” it was her aunt Supetto for the third time that evening. “You look marvelous, my dear!”
             Her cheeks turned a shade of rosy pink as she knelt to her aunt’s height, and gently gripped her hands. “As do you, auntie.” The two separated, and she watched her aunt wander back out to the floor. She’d certainly be back.
             “You say I’ll get us caught. His face has been the epitome of ‘don’t touch her’ all night.” Shots fired. He was right though, Natsu had been throwing a silent tantrum since they’d descended the stairs arm in arm, with smiles of a happy couple. She didn’t want this anymore than he did. Zeref’s hand returned to her hip and pulled her just an inch closer. They’d come up with a system in their closeness. This marriage was one of necessity and convenience. Neither wanted this, but still. Zeref couldn’t shame the Dragneel name, and neither could she to the Heartfilia Konzern. Both would be inevitable as the affairs they both engaged in continued. And yet the pair of them felt addicted to their other half.
             “Surely, we could separate for a moment.” It was a suggestion that Zeref posed nearly every political event. He couldn’t stand to be there like some exhibit for very long, and truth be told Lucy couldn’t stand to have someone other than him touching her.
             “Surely, we could.” She echoed, and the pair separated. Both gave each other their signature smiles, and that lingering glance that they’d practiced and become sufficient at. It was like when she had played pretend as a child. Her performances could give a professional entertainer a run for their money. She crept down a small hallway that normally led towards the restroom, but instead of entering the ladies’ room she ventured to the left. The door shut softly behind her, and there she waited.
             It wouldn’t be long now, she hoped. And she was right. She heard his stomping before he even entered the room, but once he did she felt like her skin was on fire. Her father was insistent on marrying into a family of dragons for the status, and the fame but she’d always wondered what his thought process was on that. Did he think they’d be controlled? Impossible.
             “Natsu, could you please turn down the furnace. It’s rather hot.” She teased. Though, from the look on his face it was clear he was past the ‘joking to ease tension’ phase. Dragons were peculiar that way. They got insanely territorial over what they felt was theirs. It was how she’d first noticed Zeref’s feelings for Mavis, and it was how she’d discovered Natsu’s for her. She had been drawn to the mysterious air of the elder Dragneel, but immediately felt he was too tense, and stuffy. Natsu had been like a breath of fresh air in the spring. Zeref felt like a cloudy day with a one hundred percent chance of rain and high humidity. Yet, Mavis loved him with everything she had. To each their own, she supposed. Her own was right in front of her.
             Natsu wasn’t about to just let Lucy slide with a joke like he normally did. He’d watched them practice flirting, and getting the timing of their own lies together the entire night. That hadn’t bothered him, much, but the one thing he’d forgotten in his entire time with Lucy was that their parents had expectations. His father expected Lucy to bear the next heir of the Dragneel name, and of course Lucy’s father expected the same. He’d heard them practice what to say to their respective father’s, but both had become silent. Every single one of them knew that the argument wouldn’t hold out.
             Zeref’s eyes had been the color of blood red, and Lucy couldn’t even bother to face him. She couldn’t bear to tell him the truth, and he knew that. He knew that one day she would have to bear the child of his brother. It was either that, or she get sold to some other high ranking socialite. Zeref could easily sway their father to choose Mavis, but he hadn’t out of respect for Natsu. Natsu appreciated it in ways his brother would never truly understand, but Zeref was at his breaking point. It wouldn’t be long before he called it quits, and Lucy knew that too.
             They continued to refuse each other in this small room. Natsu never moving towards her, and Lucy staring into her hands like they were the most interesting thing in the world. He couldn’t stand it any longer. The tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife. He moved towards her, and the movement startled Lucy into looking up.
             She could barely see through blurred vision as the water pooled, threatening to spill over. His hand touched her cheek, and she could feel the weathered skin, and each scar across the tips of his fingers and his palm. A tear slid when her eyes closed and she relaxed into his touch. His thumb ran under her eye to brush the liquid from her cheek.
             Not even a single tear should stain her cheeks. He’d decided this when they first began their arrangement, but that was then, and this was now. He couldn’t make this better. The greed of her father far outdid that of a dragon. He wasn’t sure if that was a compliment, but he highly doubted he could ever think something nice of Lucy’s old man.
             “Stop cryin’, Luce. It’ll be alright.” She gripped his suit jacket tightly and nodded before tugging him against her. Her forehead nuzzled softly into his chest.
             “I know. I’ve been thinking lately… what if we all just ran away? Me, you, Zeref, and Mavis. Couldn’t we just leave?” if she cried anymore she’d ruin her makeup. Appearance was everything. She had to keep up appearance.
             “That wouldn’t solve a damn thing. My father would hunt us to the ends of the earth, and so would yours.” That didn’t mean he didn’t want to, because fuck did he want to. He could run to hell and back as long as it was her by his side. But they couldn’t. They couldn’t just leave.
             “What if—” she stopped herself. One ‘what if’ was all she could afford. Any more than that, and she’d have actual hope. His rough hand gently raised her chin up to look at him, and he pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead.
             “I love ya. And if that means I gotta fight an army to keep ya then I will.” She didn’t want him to. Anything that would hurt him, she could never forgive. Even if it was herself.
             “Please don’t. I don’t want you to get hurt, idiot.” She lifted to her tip toes, and pressed a kiss to his lips. It was soft like it always was, he mused. Her lips were sticky from the lip gloss she’d chosen. It tasted like watermelon. She had always liked those flavored ones, and he couldn’t help but agree. He licked her bottom lip, and she giggled – a real giggle – for the first time that night. The sound was like music to his ears. His own private symphony.
             He pressed his head into her neck, and his hands gripped her hips. She gave a small gasp that had him growling softly. Then, a scent rose to his nose. It was buried beneath her floral perfume. He was glad she chose the softest one she had in her array of scents. It hadn’t taken the heiress long to learn the sensitivity of a dragon’s nose, and since then had only worn soft scents that smelled of vanilla or a flower shop. Today was the flower shop. Still, that wasn’t the problem. No, his problem lay under that.
             Lucy noticed quickly the change from playful growl to territorial growl. She froze on the spot, and then she waited. Territorial Natsu could sometimes be a hassle, between sibling rivalry, and his disgust about their situation it often gave her trouble. Tonight, for example, he likely smelled Zeref on her skin. They’d had to do a ‘lover’s embrace’ in front of their fathers. Complete with longingly staring into each other’s eyes, and happy smiles. They joked about how disgusting it was later.
             In another life, she and Zeref would have been friends. She thought so anyway. Here they had a mutual partnership. One that likely wouldn’t make it much farther. It was just as she thought. They should all just run away.
             Natsu’s breath on the crook of her neck distracted her from her thoughts, and she tensed while a shiver ran down her spine.
             “Your father sucks.” He muttered, resting his forehead to her collarbone, and gently pushing her backward. It wasn’t long before she bumped into the desk at the far back of the office. This idiot was going to try that in a place like this.
             “He does. But you know what’s worse?” she was setting him up for a joke. Just like when she’d entered, but his brain didn’t want to hear it. Her dress had been distracting him all night, and with the scent of Zeref on it that was making it all the more irritating. It was tight, black and boy did it fit her like the perfect sized glove. He shivered the second his fingers caressed the fabric. His hands were gripping her hips again, which in turn made her nervous. She’d chosen the dress with slits on both sides with the purpose of riling him up, but she didn’t mean for right now, she’d meant for later. When they were alone in their chambers, and the party goers had gone.
             “Hmmm.” The sound vibrated against her neck as a tongue lashed out to lick her skin. A whimper slipped through her lips, and the grip on her hips tightened.
             “Happy’s going to destroy the furniture before we get back.” She deflected to the feline for aid in distracting Natsu from his current activities.
             “And when he does we’ll confiscate his prized fish as punishment.” A gasp of horror came from her body, but he was more than aware that she was joking. Soon, another giggle erupted through her ribcage.
             “And then we’ll have to buy a new couch. Again.” She mumbled.
             “What can I say. He really liked the old one.” Natsu wasn’t distracted one bit. In fact, his lips were kissing trails up her neck, and she was doing her best to hold it together.
             “For someone who owns a cat, you’re such a sly dog.” He bit into her neck softly, but she got the feeling that if he ever could, he’d leave nothing but marks on her pale skin to show everyone who she was with. She was his, and he was hers. This situation just complicated matters was all. Lucy rocked her hips into his, and he grunted.
             “Dragon. I. Am. A. Dragon. We are majestic!” he groaned loudly in annoyance with her terms, and she supposed he was right, but she wanted to make the joke, and so here they were.
             “Yes, a mighty dragon. He who lays claim to all treasure.” She had deepened her voice, and added a tone that sounded a lot like a story narrator.
             “If we lay claim to all treasure, then you’re mine. You’re my pile of golden coins.” He brought her hand to his lips, and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. She flared a vibrant red, and her face felt like it was on fire all the way up to the tips of her ears.
             Their lips met again, but this time more urgent. Her fingers dug into his hair, and his hands finally found their way to her thighs. He squeezed one as he slid his other hand up her inner thigh to reach the seething warmth. A shaky sigh left her lips, and with one touch to the clothed flesh she was throwing her head back, and biting her lip to keep from making a sound.
             His grin was devilish as the finger began to rub up, and then down. Up. Down. Up. Down. He continued the slow pace, and the deliberate stroking even as her grip on his hair tightened. She breathed, and his name flowed out. His finger stopped abruptly, and he pulled it back. Then, once more a searing kiss to her lips.
             A knock at the door startled her from her haze. She froze in fear until she saw the look of irritation on Natsu’s sharp features.
             “We’ve got to get back.” Zeref’s voice echoed from behind the door, and she nearly cursed before pushing past the pinkette. She straightened up her appearance before hanging her head and mumbling something. Natsu had heard her, and all be damned he was a dragon. And wasn’t it a dragon’s duty to kidnap the princess and hide her where she’d never be found again? Her hand pressed to his chest, and she left him with a soft, lingering kiss. It was so pure and tender. It was so full of love that it nearly ripped out his heart to watch her leave arm in arm with Zeref.
             With her lingering glance on him as she left he silently promised the world would fear the wrath of Natsu Dragneel if it meant he could live a full life with her.
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impracticaldemon · 6 years
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Canuck vs Canuck: Episode 2 Part III, Warm Apple Spy
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Okay, so my response is late.  Very, very late.  But such is life. Plan is to keep the installments shorter!  @nalufever
Links: Episode 1: Part I  |  Part II  |  Part III  |  Part IV | Part V | Part VI Episode 2: Part I | Part II
Suddenly shy - had she really told him to ‘strut his stuff’? - Lucy took a long sip from her fabulous mock strawberry coffee shake. Her mind veered to the assistant manager at CJ’s - Erza - who was supposed to be a connoisseur of strawberries in all forms.  She might like this.  Then Lucy peeked up at Natsu, unable to distract herself further.
There was a hint of a smirk on Natsu’s lips when he glanced up from his - fourth? fifth? - sandwich at Lucy.  There was also a flush on his cheeks.  So maybe he didn’t mind her pushing a little?  Maybe she was right about his interest? Or maybe she was crazy to be considering any kind of romance with a spy - or ninja - or whatever the heck his family was into.  His brother Zeref was definitely spy material and oh-so-not-safe.
“...Are we still talking about tea, Lucy?”  His dark grey-green eyes gleamed at little, she thought.
“Probably - I mean - yes!”  Damn.  She’d chickened out.  Before Natsu could comment again, she added:  “But you never know.”
He watched her thoughtfully as he ate the last sandwich, and Lucy finished her drink and the last of her ham and cheese.  She tried not to worry about being dragged back into her family’s past, but she’d been trying so hard to stay away from it all...
“Time to go check out the tea-room!”  Natsu suddenly bounced up, gathered up the detritus of lunch, and zipped out to the kitchen with it.  Lucy could only gape at his deft waitering skills and speed.
“I - uh - sure.” Very good, very coherent.  Way to impress the cute guy - my work colleague - the maybe-spy-assassin-surprisingly-good-in-a-fight barista. “I’m ready for tea.”  And to think she’d once had nerves of steel.
They accessed the tea-room by way of a private elevator.  Lucy was very pleased that they didn’t have to go out to the regular elevators, since there’d been some hopefully-just-unconscious bad guys out there just forty-five minutes ago.
For some reason, Natsu was standing very close to her; the private elevator was small, but not that small.  Then she felt his strong, warm fingers twine in hers.  She tensed - unobtrusively, she thought - but didn’t twitch or make any embarrassing eek noise.
“I’m sorry you had to watch us deal with stuff, Miss Lucy Smith.” The elevator slowed.  “But I’m honestly more into CJ’s and less into the, uh, other part of the family business.  My brother will tell you that a spy’s a spy, except when they’re an assassin, but that’s so not my style. “  He gently tugged her out into what  was clearly a work area.  The air was fragrant with - well, tea, obviously, but Lucy could catch hints of a whole range of herbs, spices, and even fruit.
“That’s not my style, either,” she said quietly.  “I’m hoping to be a kick-ass barista, though.”
“Yeah?  That’s good.”  Natsu smiled, and Lucy had that same ‘the sun just came out feeling’ that she’d noticed before.  “I’m looking forward to working with you.”
“I’m in your hands.” Lucy had intended the words semi-seriously, but then she thought about it and wondered if her brain was intentionally sabotaging her.
“I may be looking forward to that, too.”
Lucy’s eyes widened, but even as she started to frame a response, Natsu handed her a white coverall and a hair net.  Not exactly the stuff of romance, usually.  So why did she feel sparks?
“Okay, let’s go look at tea!”  Natsu sounded entirely his usual self, and totally un-self-conscious about what he might have just said.  Lucy decided to go with it, and tried to shelve her romantic confusion for later.  Tea it was.
[END of Episode 2, Part III]
Tags:  @shell-senji @sabinasanfanfic @eliz1369 @canadiangaap @strawberryliaelleth @naluloverforever @hidetheremote @unashamed-shipper
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gruvia-raid · 6 years
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The Strength in Frailty
Chapter 1: Unbreakable
AN: I wrote this story in 2014 but never got around to publishing it. But I just found it again so I thought why mot? This story is set in an AU and doesn't really follow the events in the manga as it was written so long ago and I haven't changed anything in it. I am not a doctor so bare with me LOL.
TW: Cancer and mentions of death
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Fairy Tail nor do I own it's characters. They belong to Hiro Mashima & Co. This story uses coarse language.
Also there is an ableist statement made by the character Bora. This statement in no way reflects the views and/or beliefs of the author. Bora is just a complete a$$ however. if this statement does offend anyone I will change it ASAP.
"I really think you should take a break."
"But Lucy-san, Juvia feels completely fine." Juvia Lockser a beautiful, blue-eyed, pale-skinned preschool teacher whined as her best friend and co-worker Lucy Heartfillia chastised her about taking a break from all the household chores she had tasked herself with.
"But your lungs might-" Lucy persisted before being cut off.
"Juvia is fine Lucy-san, she can handle a few chores. Besides Juvia believes she is getting better, her doctor told her she is making good progress." Juvia smiled. Yes the doctor did indeed say that she was making good progress, but he also said she shouldn't overwork herself as she could possibly collapse once more.
"But, still…" Lucy trailed off as she looked towards her friend worriedly. "You don't have to prepare lunch I can do it or….or we can go out for lunch."
"No, no, no Juvia will cook. Lucy-san is the guest here not Juvia and Lucy-san knows that Juvia doesn't like going out in public, if it's not work related nowadays." Juvia called as she entered the kitchen. Jeez that Lucy always getting nervous over the most trivial things, it's not like she going to run a marathon. Cooking and clean were her area of expertise, no way would she fall ill from something like this.
"Lucy-san forgot to tell Juvia how her date with Natsu-san went." She said as she knew as soon as the topic changed to herself, Lucy would forget all about the previous conversation.
"Ah, oh yes. It started off in a really….unNatsu like way. He was being all gentlemanly, then when it came to the actual eating proportion he was back to his old sel-"
CRASH
"JUVIA!" Lucy cried as she practical sprinted into the kitchen. In there was a sight she had seen many a times, but would never get used too.
There, was Juvia on the floor heaving like there was no tomorrow. And no, it wasn't because she had seen her really hot doctor.
The last thing Juvia heard before she delved into a world of darkness, were the muffled sounds of an ambulance.
St. Vermillion Hospital was bustling as always with people today, as he arrived. It always gave off the smell of sterilizer and almost dead people to the young male doctor.
Gray Fullbuster a young and don't forget handsome, oncologist walked into his workplace with the same facial expression as always. A scowl. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy his line of work, no, in fact he loved it. But hospitals always had a dreary atmosphere. 'Cause either someone had died, was going to die or they felt like they were dying. He rolled his eyes.
What kind of stupid expression was that anyway? Who the hell knew what dying felt like, even if you experienced near death it isn't death. Hence no one knows what it felt like. Correction no one alive knew what it felt like.
"Gray!" The beautiful head nurse Mirajane Strauss called as she beckoned said man over. "Good, you're finally here. Natsu wanted to see you."
"What does the flame idiot want now?" The man inquired as he strolled to the front desk.
"I think it has something to do with one of your patients being admitted." Mira assumed as she scrolled through the day's admittance list.
Gray frowned. "One of my patients were readmitted?" He questioned.
"Yes, um… Miss Juvia Lockser. She came in around 12:50pm, while you were out for lunch."
Gray tsked. Of course she'd be admitted while he was out for lunch. That women never failed with her surprise visits. And why was it Natsu of all people who had to treat her? Now he had to go talk to the flame bastard.
"Alright Thanks, Mira."
"That's what I'm here for. Later Gray" she smiled as she waved him off.
"Oi, Flame Brain" Gray knocked on Natsu Dragneel's a fellow oncologists who specialized more in radioactive oncology, door. He was also Gray's best friend/rival/asshole. Ew not Gray's asshole you pervs, he was just an asshole in general.
The door suddenly flew open, revealing the pink-haired 'idiot'. "What do you want Ice Princess? I'm busy." Natsu Roared. What the hell did this bastard want? Didn't he tell him that no disturbance shall come when he was in 'eating mode'?
Gray rolled his eyes as he peered over Natsu shoulder to expose a desk piled high with cafeteria food and a flustered Lucy Heartfillia sitting on the sofa.
"Ugh, Hi Gray." she nervously uttered. It was sort of awkward. One minute she was crying over Juvia then the next she was whisked into Natsu office to have a very intense make out session. Now Gray interrupts and had seen her in her disheveled stated, with her messy hair, smudged lipstick and a rolled up shirt.
"Hey Lucy." He spoke before turning to Natsu "Busy with what? Trying to woo her with how much food you can fit in your pie hole? 'Cause let me tell yah, that's very unattractive."
"Shut the fuck up Stripperella. I said WHAT. DO. YOU. FUCKING. WANT?"
"Why don't you quiet the fuck down we are in a fucking hospital. For fuck's sake. And you're the one who called me. Something about my patient?"
At that Natsu calmed down, what he wanted to say was a bit upsetting for the women in his office. "Can we talk in your office?" Gray nodded. "I'll be right back Luce, just gunna talk to Gray for a sec, kay?"
"Um, al-alright." Lucy spoke, still a little baffled at the way the doctors in this hospital used the word 'fuck' so loosely.
Shutting the door behind him, Natsu walked two doors down towards Gray's office. It was a bit disorganized with files and clothes littered all over the place, and Natsu thought that his office was bad. Gray's office, much to Natsu chagrin, was nicer than his own, but only because Gray had worked there longer. The walls were burgundy, the mahogany future matching it with a glossy finish. There was a large ceiling to floor window on one wall, which had an abundance of light filtering through, in front of it was a grand desk and chair. On another wall, two long sofas were organized around a glass coffee table which faced a large flat screen t.v. The adjoined wall featured all of Gray's degrees and plaques in both university and medical school. The entire room had a pine tree meets ice berg scent to tie it all together. To conclude Gray's office would be amazingly professional if it weren't for his underwear all over the place.
"Okay, so about your patient Juvia Lockser. She….she isn't doing so well."
A shallow hospital light came into view as Juvia's eyes fluttered open. It took her mind a second to register that she was no longer in her home chatting with Lucy, as she noticed the multiple IVs, electrodes and an oxygen mask coving her nose and mouth.
"Afternoon sleepy head." A husky voice she knew all too well said as he walked through the door.
Removing the mask, "Hello Dr. Fullbuster, what is Juvia doing here?" she queried with a groggy voice.
"Well," Gray started. "It seems you collapsed once again Juvia"
"Oh"
"And I suspect that it was from overworking yourself."
"But Juvia wasn't-"
"Did you attend work today?"
"Yes but-"
"And did you do any sort of unnecessary housework?"
"Juvia only cooked and cleaned but-"
"Juvia," Gray sighed. "How many times must I tell you not to overwork yourself?" he lectured.
"But Juvia's house was filthy a-and she had a guest over so…" she trailed off knowing her excuse was inadequate as the doctor gave her a challenging look.
"I understand that you are a germaphobe however, there are such things as maid services and I'm pretty sure Lucy could have cooked instead, you also could've either ordered something or went out. There were so many options, so why must you always burden yourself?" He nagged as he began to do a routine checkup.
Gray didn't mean to lecture Juvia. He meant well, as her doctor and friend he had her best interests at heart. But the damn woman didn't or maybe couldn't comprehend the fact that she was in no condition to do all these exhausting tasks. If anything, it was her own fault that she was getting worse rather than better. This still troubled Gray however, he quite liked Juvia and if she kept this up he wouldn't be able to help her.
You see, Juvia had a severe condition of Lung cancer. She was admitted as Gray's patient a bit over a year ago when she first collapsed from lack of oxygen, and has been in and out of the hospital ever since. At first Gray was indifferent towards her but a few months later he began to open up to her, as he would a friend. In all honesty it was pretty hard being professional anyway, this girl was always smiling and cheerful anyone would feel at ease with her. It was almost impossible not to laugh when she laughed, and Gray barely laughed, only smiled and chuckled. But her entire being was just so...preciou-infectious, yes infectious.
Gray's thoughts were soon interrupted by a muffled cough. "So, Dr. Fullbuster how is Juvia?"
Gray tried to keep an impassive face but Juvia could see pity and sorrow within his navy blue orbs.
"Well" He ran a hand through his chaotic raven hair. "Not that great Juvia. Your tumor seems to have become malignant meaning it has broken off into your bloodstream. At this point it could be possible that another organ is also infected." He answered as he looked over Juvia.
"Oh, Okay." Was all she could muster.
"However, we will still continue with your chemo treatment and medication as per usual. But I would like to keep you for a bit longer so that I may run a few tests." He explained, waiting for any type reaction from Juvia. But all she did was smile and nod. How the actual fuck can the woman just smile and fricking nod when someone just told her that her condition was way worse than it was two months ago.
"Juvia understands doctor, she appreciates Dr. Fullbuster's hard work" And there she goes again, freaking smiling. Was there petroleum jelly on her teeth or something? Is that's why she can't stop showing those pearly whites or…? He didn't think anyone could smile after being told that they were basically dying. Even if her cheerfulness was infectious, he couldn't help but be irritated at her reaction or lack thereof.
"Well Juvia, I will be back to start the test after I finish my rounds. Please try and gets some rest until I come back." And with that he left. All she had now was an empty room and her thoughts.
The room she was given was a bit smaller than her last one. Granted the previous one was a double, whereas this was a single. The walls were all a pristine white, to the point where staring too long would burn and the floor was covered with a wall to wall grey carpet. To her left was a large window, with a view of what she assumed was a garden, and two comfy looking chairs around a short coffee table. And the wall south of her bed had a small flat screen t.v. It would seem that she was moving up within the hospital scene 'cause her room was pretty deluxe.
The room was eerily silent though as the t.v. was turned off and she was alone. It was boring, so to speak, literally nothing was happening. She wanted to get up and jog, do some yoga, some chores, shopping, anything rather than lie there in bed. But, her stupid lungs just had to be weak.
It was just her luck that the only thing she inherited from her father's side of family was cancer. Out of all things she had to be sick with, it had to be cancer. As if her life wasn't screwed up enough. Bora her boyfriend or rather ex-boyfriend broke up with her since he didn't "want to be tied down by some handicap because that was depressing" Seriously who in fucks sake says that to someone, he was such a douche. Then she almost lost her job because she was "missing too many days of work". That wasn't her fucking fault it was her father's, excuse her language. Last but certainly not least a year ago she lost her mother to a plane crash and now she, herself was dying. Her life was just one big joke huh? It was like the universe just hated her all of a sudden. Nevertheless, she always put on a brave face for everyone, she didn't want to go back to the days when everyone called her gloomy and depressing.
On second thought, she was glad she was alone, she could finally stop withholding those tears.
AN: Thanks for reading the first chapter guys I really appreciate it. Sorry if there were any spelling or grammar mistakes, as I said this was written awhile ago and I only skimmed it. I really suck at proof reading my own work so hopefully it was ok. But anyways, I plan to make this story 4-5 chapters long maybe 6 but no longer than that. Chapter 2 is ready and chapter 3 is 85% done. I don't know if you guys could tell but this my first story so I really hope you guys liked it. Well, Tata for now, see you next chapter (hopefully)! 
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voidbeantm · 6 years
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the post-concert sadness is intense this time round and i really didn't feel like dumping this on twitter or any of my friends so it's going here ignore me just let me ramble
i really dont know what it is about concerts that leave so many people with post-concert sadness. it's so common and yet it's really hard to pinpoint a main cause.
part of it has to be the crash that comes when the post-concert euphoria wears off. it's like caffeine. the buzz is incredible but the crash is extremely draining.
maybe it's the fact that ive spent so long looking at these people and these performances through a small screen. as much as i talk about how important it is to conceptualise and treat celebrities like real people, the fact of the matter is that no matter what, celebrities never really seem like "real people". yes, they're real people but they're essentially strangers. and when you spend most of your time observing them through a screen, your brain starts feeling about them the same way it feels about fictional characters you really really like. they're real but you never really expect to see them with your own two eyes, walking and talking in front of you. there's a disconnect between how you feel and what you know rationally. suddenly, it hits you that these people are real and right there, being completely incredible. every frustrating facial expression, every surprising and dangerous dance move, every tiny moment of friendship and banter, it's real, they're doing it right in front of your eyes.
maybe it's the fact that for the first time ever, im not alone during a concert and suddenly, my anxieties leave me completely and allow me to completely let loose instead of holding back just a smidge like i always have. ive seen them twice before this but none of them were the korean concerts and ive always been alone and ive never gone this wild before. it's freeing and euphoric and we refer again to what i said about euphoria crash.
maybe it's seeing them in their most natural comfortable state relative to being onstage. the two times i saw them previously were in singapore and malaysia. it's evident that they're much more comfortable in their homeland. which, by the way, completely understandable!! for one, there's no language barrier in the way and they're free to express themselves fully without having to pause for the translator which, no matter what, will always distrupt the natural flow of banter. there's the fact that the concert hall is so so so much bigger. there's the fact that the crowd at home probably just feels familiar and comfortable. vixx and kstarlights have such a close rapport that they rarely have to guess how the crowd will react to the things they say or do. with foreign crowds that you dont perform to as often, every single time it's a gamble. there's a much bigger pressure to impress and do as well as possible to leave a lasting impression in order to grow your audience there. i dont know the right words to describe it but there was just something different about seeing them this time. they were so open and comfortable. maybe what i said about finally having friends to share this experience with earlier applies here as well in a way. when i was alone, it wasnt like i enjoyed them any less, i just felt a tiny bit less free to let loose. in the company of familiar and comfortable people, i was finally able to. it could possibly be the same for them as well.
on my end there was the whole business of sitting so far away that i watched the whole thing through either my binoculars or the display screen. i always forget that im not able to pause a real life performance and go back to rewatch parts i might have missed. during concerts, it's do or die. if you miss it, you miss it. i haven't had the chance to check fanaccounts or fancams in detail on twitter but even a brief glace told me that i most definitely missed quite a few bits. and with the amount rewinding i freely admit to doing, it's not a surprise how much i hate missing out on things.
related to the above, im actually not sure how much of me missing out was actually just me being unable to remember most of anything that happens during a concert once it is over. especially when it comes to new songs. aside from a few key parts of the choreography, i barely remember what the performances for the new songs were like. i can't remember most of what happened. this always happens to me after every single concert and apparently, im not the only one. it's like there's something about the nature of a concert that exists in a time-shifted dimension. everything exists and is held in that dimension, in that moment of time alone. you're only ever able to bring scraps of it out with you. it's like trying to hold onto a dream after you've woken up. unless you write down everything right away, it's gone. but then you see a stray photo, the odd fancam, and it triggers a memory. it's almost magic. and you can't just rewatch the performances through fancams or the dvd even though you'd have a much easier time seeing everything going on but it's just different. you'd be back to seeing them on a screen again. and dreams dont work like that anyway dreams are lived once, the rest are just disjointed memories.
finally, there is just plain old missing them. i already miss them. i just got reminded once again that they're real and in front of me over a day ago and now they're back to being images on a screen. every song i hear, every video i watch just makes me remember that, at one point, they were real. and i miss them.
honestly, this it didnt really fully hit until i boarded the plane alone and set off for home. for the first time in three days, i was without friends to fill the void or the stress of travelling on a time limit to distract me. suddenly, i just felt sad and hollow and tired. on a personal level im probably also exhausted both physically and mentally from the constant travelling, especially on a time limit as well as socially from meeting "new" people and being in the presence of people in general for a few days straight. ren and natsu were incredible and so fun (i will not ever get over what it's like to hang out with actual starlights ever) but you know how it is with introversion. even when you with people you want to be with, your energy will deplete. my brain is telling me it's going to clock out for a good few days before its ready to come back again
i dont have a satisfying conclusion to this mess of words. i dont even know how i feel now that ive bled off all of my feelings into text. it's a mix of sadness, wistfulness, and residual awe because everything i said above as well as having to say goodbye to my friends.
i dont want this long ramble to make it seem like im not grateful for the opportunity to see them in a korean concert. i absolutely am. i will cherish this memory forever. i just. i wish i were both less and more predictable of a person. if i could i want to do it again. i want to see them in a korean concert again. but i don't know what i'll be like a year from now. what if i no longer like them? some people probably find these to be blasphemous words but im not going to lie about myself. interests change. ive gone through so many obsessions in my over two decades of life. given, this is the most involved ive ever been in an interest and the only fandom ive ever made any friends in. but what if i do stop liking them? based on available data, the average length of an obsession is about three years for me. im approaching my third year as a starlight. my projected expiry date is coming up. i dont want it to. but i dont think i can stop it if it does. i shouldn't. no one is obligated to like anything they dont want to. but i dont want to not like them anymore. i dont want to lose what ive managed to find here.
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unashamed-shipper · 7 years
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Living With You
read on ff.net and ao3
one / two / three / four / five
tags: @beaxnalu, @ftfanfics
rating: t+ for sexual joking, swear words, and mild smut later on
pairings: nalu, slight gajevy this chapter, possible mentions of gruvia later on
characters: natsu, lucy, gajeel, levy, gray
summary: Finding herself thrown out and drunk after a party wasn’t the way Lucy expected her night to go. After blacking out and waking up in a room with three men, she has a decision to make: will she stay or will she go? Loosely based on New Girl. Roommates!AU
With a note from her doctor saying to take it easy for the rest of the day, Lucy took her medication happily with a  glass of apple juice. This morning had been very serene as she awoke before the others and had a small mug of coffee as to not upset her anxiety. When the nurse told her before she left that coffee could upset her anxiety, Natsu picked up some juice before going to work in the morning along with some cinnamon rolls that she could bake with Gajeel for an easy breakfast.
However the taller, much sterner man had grumbled about artificial sugar and empty calories, so into the garbage bin the store-bought rolls went. About twenty minutes later, into the oven the homemade ones went, and Lucy learned how to make icing from scratch, something that no one had ever bothered to teach her, even in her advanced high school cooking class with a professional chef.
“It’ll rot yer teeth, but hell is it worth it,” Gajeel said with a soft smirk, and Lucy grinned as she pushed the rolls of cinnamon, brown sugar, and homemade puff pastry together to make a delicious breakfast that would last quite a few days.
Levy popped over at around noon on her lunch break and brought over some banana bread to Gajeel’s surprise. Lucy watched the two animatedly interact, with Levy ending up climbing Gajeel again and popping him on the nose, this time with her fist.
“I’ll bring by anything you need, Lucy. Be sure to keep these guys in line,” she said, looking at Gajeel and pointing two fingers from her eyes to his.
“Yeah, yeah, we got it covered, shrimp,” Gajeel said gruffly, closing the door without saying an actual goodbye. Sauntering over to the couch and turning on the TV, he let out a sigh.
“If I didn’t know you any better, I’d think that you liked her,” Lucy said teasingly with a smirk. It was true that the two were getting closer, and Lucy was starting to think that Levy wasn’t coming over to just bring banana bread over anymore. 
“Who? Shrimp? She’s a riot, but I like ‘em round. Shrimp’s just flat,” Gajeel said with a smirk, but Lucy could tell from his tone that he was either teasing or lying.
“It’s not like I’ve seen you check her out or anything,” Lucy said in a sing-song voice, moving to the kitchen to rifle through the refrigerator to figure out what they were going to make for lunch. It wasn’t for quite a few hours, but Lucy liked to be prepared for meals.
“I haven’t the faintest what yer smackin’ your lips about,” Gajeel said, and Lucy turned to look at his face.
It was tinged with pink.
Having gotten the reaction she was looking for, Lucy wrote down a short grocery list of things she would need to pick up for parmesan chicken alfredo tonight. Gajeel was as stubborn about ingredients as always, but thankfully they had a special budget set aside for things just like this.
‘Speaking of budgets,’ Lucy thought, chewing the pen between her fingers in stimulation, ‘what am I going to do for a job?’
Her anxiety started to rise once more, but she clamped her teeth down hard to tell herself to stop. Gajeel wasn’t the best with anxiety, and she knew that Gray would be home in a couple of hours. Not that he was any better than Gajeel was with helping her.
“Gajeel,” Lucy began, “Do you know of any places that are hiring right now?”
“Not that I can think of, blondie. You might wanna check out the strip mall down by the river, though,” he said before turning back to his TV show, and Lucy smiled. Gajeel really did have a heart.
“Thanks, Gajeel,” she replied, and he replied with a grunt and turned up the show louder. So much for having a heart…
Satisfied with her list, she made her way over to the couch and watched the cop show with Gajeel, interested in it’s plot. Two cops were chasing down a car that had been stolen, and they found something rather gruesome inside. Lucy turned away at the blood as to not disgust herself; having the blood come out from the IV’s in the hospital had freaked her out for more than she’d like to admit.
Once the show was over and the killer was caught, Gajeel went to take a nap and Lucy began to write a little more of something that she’d been working on for ages, even since the incident with Dan. The mention of her ex arose painful thoughts in her mind, but she shook her head and told herself that everything was going to be alright. Positive thinking was going to make this anxiety journey a whole lot better, just as the nurse told her.
Within hours, Lucy had a few chapters of her story outlined and written. She felt proud of her work for the first time in what felt like a while, and she sat with her arms crossed happily over her chest, peering at her work with excitement.
The door creaked open, and Lucy jumped at the sound. Gray rushed in with paperwork stuffed in his briefcase and his hair ruffled as if he had just woken up from a nap.
“Have a little snooze at the office today?” Lucy asked, snickering. Gray turned his eyes towards her with an annoyed look, but said nothing as he grabbed a cinnamon roll from the refrigerator and headed to his room.
“Thanks for answering me,” Lucy said softly, her eyes flicking to the time. Natsu would be home in about an hour, and she had to go get the groceries prepped and ready for Gajeel to make the meal with her when Natsu got home.
Lucy picked up the ingredients and was on her way back to the apartment when she spotted an unfamilar car in one of the parking spots. On her past couple journeys out of the apartment, she had only seen about five cars in the parking lot, and there were six now. Curious, Lucy made her way inside and shut the door only to be answered by chaos.
Gray was now arguing with a woman who was definitely not Olivia, and Gajeel was standing off to the side simpering. Natsu had his headphones on and was oblivious to the situation before him. Lucy stood, obviously confused at everything going on.
The woman turned her eyes towards Lucy, flicking her gaze up and down to see her outfit. She was now aware of her baggy sweatshirt and jeans she wore, and she took in the woman’s appearance of a smart suit and heels. Another accountant, she guessed, but said nothing as the woman looked at her with disgust.
“Who’s she?” the woman said, pointing a thumb towards Lucy, her voice clearly annoyed.
“She’s our roommate, Alicia,” Gray shot back with the same annoyed tone, and Alicia’s eyes narrowed.
“Hm. She looks like a drowned rat,” Alicia said, and Lucy realized that her hair was wet from the shower. Apparently the warm wind outside had frizzed her hair and made it look even more damp than it already was from the humidity.
“Listen, I don’t care what she looks like. She’s our roommate and she’s staying with us,” Gray said, and Lucy was taken aback by his words. He was defending her against this rude woman?
“If you’re going to pick a roommate, why not pick a better looking one?” Alicia said, a smirk rising on her face. Lucy’s anxiety rose with the woman’s gaze. It was like looking into the eyes of the girls who bullied her at school for having no mother--cold and conniving. Lucy’s eyes welled up with tears and she turned to go to her room when a hand was placed on her shoulder.
“Hold up,” Natsu’s voice said, a hint of anger in it, “Are you saying that Lucy’s not pretty?”
Lucy’s face flushed softly as she looked at Natsu. Did this mean... ?
Her look at him was broken when Alicia giggled sarcastically. Gajeel bristled, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt.
“You could have picked anyone to stay with you three gorgeous men, and you pick her? Maybe you’re not as smart as I thought, Gray,” Alicia said, turning her eyes on Gray’s.
Natsu said nothing as his hand left Lucy’s shoulder and he walked towards the door. “Would you like to do the honors, Gray?”
Gray nodded, pushing his hand on the small of Alicia’s back and gently but firmly ushering her out of the apartment.
“Hey! Wait--” Alicia said, but she was already out on the porch.
“Listen, I liked you a lot. But you make fun of my roommate and insult me in the same sentence and you’re gone, lady. Have a nice time driving in the rain. Oh, and also,” Gray said, stopping before he closed the door, “At least Lucy’s kind and not a bitch like you.”
Natsu practically slammed the door in her face, and the two high-fived.
“Where did you even find her?” Natsu asked, looking at Gray with a knowing look.
“Well, I went to a bar one night, and she happened to be there,” Gray said, looking at his hands. Gajeel barked out a laugh and said something about Gray being really drunk at the time and going to make lunch.
“I’m glad you guys got home early,” Lucy said with a smile, and all three guys turned their eyes towards her. Wasn’t she just about to cry a few moments ago?
“Well, on Fridays my work has a half-day,” Natsu said, rubbing the back of his neck softly. He didn’t know what to say after he just admitted that Lucy was pretty to her face. He was just admitting a fact, but it felt like it had a big impact on her with how she reacted.
Gray shrugged. “Mine too. I like to be home in time for lunch,” he said with a sigh, turning to grab the newspaper to check out the current events.
“I see,” Lucy said, and everyone was quiet. Everything seemed more calm now that Alicia was gone, and thankfully Lucy hadn’t had an anxiety attack. But now, the shock of what happened was starting to hit her.
Lowering herself into a seat next to Gray, Lucy began to cry a little. The man looked up in concern, but said nothing as he watched her cry. What was he supposed to do?
“I don’t think you’re bad looking,” Gray said awkwardly, patting her on the shoulder. Natsu came around with a tissue and began to scratch circles into her back. Her senses weren’t as overloaded now as she cried, smelling the scent of chicken cooking calmed her nerves.
“But she seems to think so!” Lucy said, a tear falling onto the table before her. It was just like when she was in school and people would make fun of her. She wasn’t always as well-dressed as she was now. When she was young after her mother died, her father had no idea of how to dress her and sent her off to school in odd-looking outfits that she was teased for mercilessly.
As the tears fell, Lucy plucked the tissues from Natsu’s hand as he handed them to her with a soft smile. His hands worked wonders as he soothed her anxiety down until she could be only a sniffle, and her vision was clearing now. She was getting better at dealing with her anxiety attacks; the ringing in her ears was just a miniscule sound compared to the rest of the sizzling chicken and everything else around her.
“Who cares what she thinks? She’s a bitch, and people like her say shit like that to bring other people down,” Natsu said, looking into her eyes with a smile. His smile made her just the tiniest bit happier. It was hard to be crying around someone that had as bright a smile that he did.
“That’s true,” Lucy admitted, blowing her nose into one of the tissues. Soon, her anxiety would be almost gone. Knowing that she would be feeling back to normal quickly, she rose and started to help Gajeel with lunch.
“Uh-uh, blondie. You’re having an attack and I want you sitting down for that. I don’t need anyone cryin’ in my sauce,” Gajeel said with a hint of a smile, and Lucy giggled. The watery sound made her laugh, and soon she was laughing quite hard.
“I can’t believe I was so worried of what that stupid girl thought of me!” she said, thinking the situation quite hilarious.
“Yeah, don’t worry about her, Luce! You’re great just the way you are,” Natsu came around her and smiled at her as he turned to grab something from the refrigerator. Lucy’s heart siezed slightly, but she ignored it in lieu of her laughter.
When her amusement died down, they all sat down for dinner and ate the delicious meal that Gajeel cooked.
“Fantastic as always, Gajeel,” Lucy saluted, tipping her plate towards the chef of the house.
“Thanks. I’ll accept dishes as my reward,” Gajeel said with a toothy grin, one that Lucy would have to get used to seeing.
She saluted anyways with a laugh. “Yes, sir!”
After dinner was finished, Lucy did the dishes and retired to the couch for an afternoon nap. When one woke up as early as she did, they were bound to get tired at some point.
While she slept, Natsu gathered the guys into his room for a meeting.
“I think we should try to find Lucy a job,” he said, and the other two nodded in agreement.
“I told her about the strip mall by the river. Hopefully she’ll have the guts to go down there herself and apply,” Gajeel said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Why do you care if she gets a job? You wanna bring her flowers there?” Gray teased, and Natsu socked him in the arm.
“Shut up! I want her to help pay rent is all,” Natsu said, but the slight flush on his face told another different story.
The three continued their conversation until Lucy awoke, and when she did they spent the rest of the day watching movies together.
Lucy couldn’t remember the last time she felt so comfortable in a group of people. Sure, they were all completely different. But they had the same struggles in life and understood each other well. She wasn’t sure about Gray yet, but she was sure that he’d come around in his own time.
She sighed and smiled, watching Natsu and Gray punch each other and wrestle on the couch. Gajeel was curled up reading a book on warfare, and she grinned when he looked up at her and made a thumbs up sign.
They weren’t a perfect bunch, that was for sure, but they fit together well. In times of treachery they could rely on each other for help. And that’s what mattered most.
Next chapter will be a lot longer! 
>>>Chapter 6>>>
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esdeaths · 7 years
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got tagged by @sawanko for the ‘get to know better’ game, thank youu <33 
rules: tag 9 people you would like to get to know better.
relationship status: as single as it gets (my animal crossing villagers flirt with me though) favourite colour(s): aqua, black pets: ive lost track of how many cats we have, i think 10 at this point, toruk makto, java, natsu, kiki, lala, cheetah, soul, and 3 other kittens i havent named yet last song listened to: again by stereopony favourite TV show: avatar the last airbender~ first fandom: either supernatural or the vampire diaries hobbies: making graphics, drawing, playing video games and writin book(s): its been years since ive read an actual book, but probably the hunger games or the first divergent book, i also enjoyed george orwells works
I tag, @miyukills, @kuramochei, @tehwinslow, @myia, @eijunes, @yushiyuki, and im too tired to think of any others :p (as always you dont have to do it if you dont want)
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I don't get it Natsu wasn't in love with that girl but yet he just used her as a replacement for Lucy? So OOC
I mean the whole point of his struggle was thinking that’s what he was doing. Which is what people who have lost a loved one struggle with when they first meet another person that they could love. 
So in the way that Lucy wasn’t Lisanna’s replacement in the manga, Lisanna wasn’t Lucy’s replacement in IV. Natsu never felt for Lisanna with the same force that he felt for Lucy (in either but that’s more just my opinion), but it’s cruel to expect him to be alone for so long. Lisanna was important to him, and platonic love is no less meaningful or life altering than romantic love. Lisanna helped him come back to part of who he used to be, and Natsu recognized that. 
He’s also terrified of change, which you can see in the panic of his writing. Natsu’s been in pain for so long he’s terrified of that bcus he thinks if he loses the pain he will lose his love for Lucy.
Moving on doesn’t mean replacing, but that point is moot as Natsu chose Lucy. His refusal to move on and accept change might have worked on in the long run, but it still caused immense distress and pain for him.
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