#ive been trying to do research on it but its hard to find much

[kuradex]

I wanna know about your art style. How you draw like that??

i tried putting down considerations as well as a (very) general step by step of what i do; if there's anything more specific you want me to explain lmk i guess?

first off, general (self imposed) constraints / purpose of project -- this informs what i draw & how i draw it

i.e. "kuradex" is pretty different from my normal art (my 5 latest rough illustrations):

or my monster hunter charms:

or my pokemon tcg contest illustrations that im not allowed to show until june (😉):

although i've said its for merch purposes, ive started drawing these because i wanted to practice conveying "liveliness" and noticing key features / nuances of a given design, but i didn't want to spend a large amount of time on each one.

so what i came up with is

i want to draw things on-model in terms of proportions ( + take note of weight / tapering of shapes / etc )

no backgrounds & minimal "props"

experiment with / practice line/texture/color/flow/rhythm/etc

spend <1 hr on each pokemon on average (this is a bit more difficult for me to track, but for example, the cyndaquil line took me less than 42min to color, combined, and means at some point in time instead of focusing on cleaning up the art as much as i can, i stop after cleaning up most of it)

that said, the pose & the rhythm/flow of lines are key in conveying liveliness, and if i have a concept in mind i usually end up going with it, but i may go thru a few if i dont.

i consider pokemon origin / lore or a key point in its design, and if i'm particularly stuck, i try looking up pokemon card illustrations for inspiration. (i noticed the research i do is essentially a truncated version of how Atsushi Furusawa does research before doing an illustration.

(& even despite all this i do get stuck sometimes and don't exactly understand a pokemon and just opt for "as cute or cool as i can make it i guess?", but i think it's part of the process...?) (theoretically things that are A Shape should be really easy to draw but with what i want to practice in perspective i find them difficult...)

this is from my latest paid req but these are my first sketches of chesnaught -- i was thinking of how one of its inspirations is a warrior / tanker from RPGs, so i drew a pose where it's shielding its face.

i do another pass and take note of details.

in general i draw overlapping shapes and erase (it's a bit visible on one of the spikes)

because i opt for quickness i start coloring at this point -- i actually just use a colored "color burn" layer & i actually colorpick official art & lay down messy flats & set the color layer to 60%

60% multiply layer for shadows. i tend to use both hard and soft brushes

for bigger projects i would use 2-3 shadow layers to create more "layered" shadows

here i use overlay layer (60%). this is just throwing colors at it and seeing what works and doesn't work. i personally prefer to throw red under the eye and a yellow or blue near the top of the head. this is mostly done with a soft brush

before this point, everything is under the rough lines, but now i actually start drawing/painting over it, color picking the colors that have been laid down from the previous steps and cleaning up / rendering textures (making the green on its arms look fuzzy) / fixing anything that i forgot or looks too off (i.e. the spike on its shoulder and the way the tail curves)

I could potentially keep cleaning this up, but this is where i usually stop 🫡

#not art #barely a tutorial?

[merakiui]

ive.... ive read the latest alien!scara and ive never been more excited???????? aNYWAY PLS PLSPSLSPSLSPSLSPSLSPSLSPS PLSSSSSSS GIVE US STRUGGLE??? struggle to whatevers gunna happen *wink wink* (im sorry to subject u to my rotting flesh of a smol breyn) and idk why i always find struggling characters to an impending event thrilling?? (wats wrong w me i swear),, seeing them try whatev they can do retaliate to something thats clearly cant be helped anymore is ಡ⁠ ͜⁠ ⁠ʖ⁠ ⁠ಡ 🤌🏻

Struggling against Kabuki is a wasted effort. He’s much stronger than the average human, so your chances of beating him in a fight are very slim, if not impossible. Even so, your only option is to struggle when he tries to corner you or pin you down in the cell, insisting in the softest, calmest way that everything will be okay. The researchers won’t answer your calls for help; Dr. Zandik tells you, rather coldly, that this is your life now. You’ve signed the contracts and the NDAs. You’re bound to this alien much like how he’s stuck to you, the both of you companions until death. There is no such thing as the outside world; your life will be spent beneath a research facility that is more inhuman than some of its specimens. You’ve always known Dr. Zandik to be particularly cutthroat in his pursuit of the unsolvable, so it shouldn’t come as a shock when he encourages you to smile more, to open your arms for your alien, to let him do as he pleases. It’s for the sake of research, after all! Aren’t you just a little curious to know more?

Kabuki is more frustrated that the researchers, specifically Dr. Zandik, won’t shut up and grant the both of you peace. He could never be mad at you, but the way you avoid him, pleading with him to reconsider, is upsetting. He thought you wouldn’t mind. You’ve lived with him for a while now, sharing a space, a bed, food, bonding over differences and curiosities between species. Surely you’ve wanted to mate all along. Humans are so confusing sometimes. They give such strange signals. You’re running from him, so it’s only natural he pursues. Kabuki has tried so hard to live humanly. He wears his human skin for you, walking on two legs, holding you with human arms and hands, casting a human shadow. He’s become human for you, but the human body he uses can’t give you eggs. He hates the idea that you might fear him; you’re not supposed to! You’re meant to be comforted by him; he likes you, so he’d never hurt you.

He knows it’s abnormal. His species is so obviously different from yours, so it’s only natural mating would have its differences as well. He tries to explain this to you with his limited vocabulary. One’s to hold the eggs and the other’s purpose is to hold the fluid that’ll help the eggs settle more comfortably. It won’t hurt. He’ll be gentle and slow; he wants to savor these moments, after all. And shouldn’t you be happy to be so close like this? Aren’t all humans happier when they’re pressed against the one they love? He doesn’t want to keep you pinned by force, but he has no other way to keep you still enough to take his dicks. He hibernated and created these eggs just for you. So why are you crying? Why won’t you embrace him like you’re meant to? Why won’t you love him?

Kabuki is always cold, so when he’s looming over you on the bed, studying you so carefully, you’re practically swallowed in his icy temperature. But the tears that spatter your cheeks, falling from his pretty, anguished eyes, are somehow colder.

He loves you, so he must do this, even if you’ll continue to struggle until the very end.

#genshin chit chat #alien scaramouche #tw: noncon #i love him T-T alienmouche my beloved #and i absolutely agree with your point anon!!! #there is a thrill in struggling against the inevitable orz it’s very *chef kiss*

[gaysindistress]

Since you did latina can you do arab that would be so cute plsss i love your fics its my favourite fics i have ever read

AHAH IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!!! *crackles knuckles and rolls neck* it’s my time to shine.

This list has a special place in my heart since I’m Arab. Idk why I didn’t do this sooner but….

here is a list of things I think would happen if Bucky dated an Arab!reader

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest

1. He would absolutely terrified of your mom and aunts.

You would warn him about them before you brought him home for the first time but nothing could prepare him for awaited him. The moment you stepped foot inside, your mom and aunt were upon him, touching, poking, grabbing, everything. They were all over him as he looked at you with wide eyes that begged to help him. You tried but your mom hit your hand with a sharp “khalas” as she leads him into the kitchen. Your dad is useless and backs away with his hands up when you look to him for help.

“Mami, bi sharafak. Give him some breathing room,” you gently demand as to not turn her attention to you.

Bucky’s gentle smile and even kinder eyes warrant even more commotion from the herd of women around him. They finally let him go after thoroughly interrogating him about everything under the sun and he instantly finds you. Wrapping his arm around you and pressing a kiss to your hair, he whispers to you that you’re not allowed to ever leave him alone with them again. When you ask him why, all he mumbles is something along the lines of “some many questions and the touching.”

“Food?” You ask as a peace offering and he happily accepts it.

2. Whenever he’s around you, he literally doesn’t stop complimenting you.

Maybe it’s your perfume, maybe it’s the way you style your hair, or maybe it’s your outfit that day. No matter what, he is ALWAYS complimenting you.

You have about 40 bottles of perfume but there are few that he loves more and will ask if you can wear them more often. At first, he would just casually mention that he liked how you smelled that day but the longer you’re together, the more obvious he is about it. He goes from asking if you can wear the gold one to straight up picking your perfume out for the day. It’s become a little routine at this point; when you’re getting dressed, he’ll pick something out and help you put it on. You’re perfectly capable of doing it yourself but it’s an excuse to have him close and to feel his hands on you. His favorite and the one he picks the most is the one that your mom got you as a graduation gift. You asked him one day why he liked it so much and he told you that it was what you wore the day you two met. That and it smells like “oranges and summer.”

Bucky is OBSESSED with your hair, maybe more than your perfume collection. It’s usually blown out and styled so he can’t touch it but it’s all over when you leave it natural. Of course he’s a gentleman and will ask if it’s okay to play with it before fully twisting his hand into your curls. They’re almost like a fidget toy for him; he’ll toy with a curl when you’re cuddling on the couch. If you’re in public, he’s gently massaging the base of your neck and playing with the little ringlets that live there. If you need to wash it, he’s right there with all of your products in hand. If you need to put it up, he’s already behind you and gathering your hair for you.

3. If you’re Muslim, he would try so hard to understand your religion.

I genuinely don’t believe that Bucky knows anything about Islam prior to meeting you. It’s possible he met a few Muslims in the 30s and 40s since he lived in Brooklyn but he knows nothing about Islam.

To put it mildly, America is a very interesting place when it comes to the Middle East and Islam and a lot of the information he gets at first is contradictory. When he learns that you’re Arab and also Muslim, he tries to do as much research as he can but ends up getting pissed off and stops. He’s not frustrated due to a lack of understanding, he’s livid that new sources are allowed to say whatever they want and no one stops it.

The following convo is just one example of when this happens:

Aside from wanting to never use the internet again, he’d take the time to sit down and talk to you about your different holidays so when they come around so that he understands what’s going on. He’d buy an English translation of the Qur'an so he can read with you. You’ve offered to read yours in English but he’s adamant that he wants his own. It’s adorable really.

I think he would try really hard to learn Arabic so that he can understand Islam better but it’s a very diffcult language to master. What’s even cuter though is watching him study a word and you can see those big beautiful blue eyes scan it over and over again as he thinks about how to say it. You don’t even try to help him as you sit back and shamelessly watch him. Your Arabic lessons usually end with him whispering “تقبرني” (taqburni) against your lips.

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fic #marvel imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #Arab reader #Arab reader x Bucky #Arab!reader x Bucky #request #bucky barnes reader insert #marvel

[brandileigh2003]

Ok. But like?

I'm cool with remus not being traditionally beautiful. But Sirius still thinking he's the best thing ever. I think that he has certain attractive features, but he's def not some rockstar and most ppl don't take a second glance. But you need that to see the shade of his eyes, his crooked smile. Sirius loves him and finds beauty because of not despite of his scars. Bc they show strength and tell a story.

Mid level I think someone put it. Sure, I get why that can be a thing.

But. I think he can have sex appeal in other ways. His smile, his voice, a look in his eyes, muscles in certain places that defies him being otherwise skinny.

I'm fine with sirius being super intelligent and quick. Its canon after all. I love how him and James have this quality. But I don't think that means that remus liking to read or studying a lot takes that away from Sirius. I think that he likes academic validation, and he needs to read and study to stay caught up. He wants to prove he's worthy to be at school and has to work for it. I do think that he's smart though, and adds to group dynamics.

I don't think that he's just a downer and boring persay, otherwise why would they want to be with him. I think that he'll do the research maybe on the great idea that Sirius and James had and they will later carry it out flawlessly. Or sees some kind of gap in the plan and can think quick to help patch it up.

I do think he probably gets so hyperfixated on things which some people can't stand. but sirius loves to hear him talk about it. Just like remus is obsessed with everything sirius has to say. He's totally a nerd but I don't think he's just pathetic or a loser. Or maybe I just don't see those words the same as the recent posts have been using for him.

I think he's extraordinarily kind. he worships sirius, who in turn thinks remus is also the best. He's not rude to him even though I really do think they fight. But can't stay mad at each other long.

I do think that he can be angry, but I also think that a lot of times it's just at himself or crappy life circumstances. He's normally careful to keep any anger controlled bc he's worried about perception.

he's shy and and awkward and deals with a lot. He loves to help the younger students, and he uses above hard earned study methods to help them bc everything doesn't just come naturally or can share how he overcame it.

If everyone has a crush it's not bc he's completely hot or any of that. He's a soft boy with big comfy sweaters that gives good hugs. He's a good listener, a good teacher, shares anything he has, especially the chocolate that seems to be never ending in his bag. Bc he believes that it'll make you feel better. He has a kind word or compliment and can make you feel better.

I think he can be a momma's boy. And wants hope or poppy to hug him, and give him a space to cry and be weak. Otherwise I think that he likes to try to hide his pain bc he doesn't want to be a burden.

And ... That all said. I think that CR remus is different than a lot of this and hes absolutely perfect and I love him and I'd do insane things for this fictional man. It's one of my favorite ways to read about him. But something that carries over there from everything else I said is how enamored he is with Sirius Black. And how much he loves his inner circle. How he has this sacrificial love.

But anyways, I could go on about CR but that's totally not the point. Ive just seen a few things and wanted to say some things about how I see him a lot. And maybe the posts that have me feeling kind of sad talking about him are actually saying some of the same things I'm just negatively associating some words or ideas bc I know personally I can also interpret things completely the wrong way or not read into the subtext well enough

Let me know what you think. But if you think this is wrong; be kind.

And the people who like to come all up in my inbox about hating Sirius-- this isnt that. To be clear. I don't want remus to take over any traits of Sirius or whatever else you accuse me of. This has to do mostly with remus except me saying that sirius sees something in remus that a lot of people don't, that they're in love and adore each other.

I do in fact love Sirius Black and think he's wonderful. And you're missing the point if you think I hate that man. But I want to talk about remus rn and if you want something talking about Sirius, so many other wonderful people on here do that, so let's find that instead and let me hyperfixate and talk about remus.

Other random things I'll probably add to that really are prb just me.

-he is a horrible dancer. But he'll do it for sirius

-he'd do almost anything for Sirius.

-he's a music snob. But he'll read anything

-he is super annoying in class bc he shakes his leg or taps his quill. Sirius thinks it's adorable though.

-he needs a cane around the full. But he doesn't like to use it.

-the man loves weed. Him and hope smoke together.

-he has no idea how to take care of his hair

-to me he's associated with chronic illness, pain or disability in every universe. Or some mix or variation. (Ofc authors have free choice it's their story and I have no right for demands or anything) but I write him that way, hc him that way, get stupidly happy when I read it bc I feel so seen, search AO3 tags regularly for these portrayals.

-remus has no sense of style. But sirius doesn't care, he's so soft and cozy with his sweaters. The only thing about that is that I'm personally convinced hope bought remus a leather jacket, he shows up wearing it on the train, Sirius somehow gets his hands on it... Remus' eyes pop out of his head, maybe drools a bit- and it becomes Sirius' trademark

#remus lupin #remus loves sirius #sirius loves remus #wolfstar #marauders #remus lupin appreciation #my take on remus #please be nice to me #i am fine if you disagree #but don't be those rude anon messages #to be clear #i love sirius #but this is about remus #disabled remus #chronic illness #chronic pain

[hanasnx]

heyyy do you have any advice on how to write smut cause its sooo difficult for me *cries in virgin*

ur like one of my fav smutty writers and idk if you have any tips 😭

first off thank u very much i appreciate that :)

this isnt the first time ive been asked for writing tips so im gonna give a lot of info. youre bound to find something useful in this mess

im so sorry but one of my solutions to giving myself confidence in smut-writing was to literally fuck and fuck a lot

after losing my virginity it still wasnt enough experience tbh. so i gave myself room to explore my sexuality and was privileged enough to do it with a partner that encouraged that growth. that experience of fucking sure didnt hinder my smut-writing ability if you know what i mean ;0 but everything else about writing i learned from years of practice. ive been writing since i was in elementary school like id come home from fourth grade and read and write on quotev klsdjfsfj smut writing skills came later post puberty

when i tried writing smut as a virgin i genuinely couldn’t get past the build up. i was fantastic at writing the build up, it was the actual sex part that was hard bcos even tho i had done enough research (i read a lot of porn) it didn’t instill me with enough confidence that i could write it correctly, and so i never did. however! i sure wish i’d committed to it more, so let me see if i can write out some tips that would’ve helped me in the past

(this is just how i write smut, im by no means an expert)

my timeline

the way i write smut is pretty formulaic so i’ll break it down:

hook line ⟹ settings ⟹ build-up ⟹ foreplay ⟹ sex ⟹ ending

☥ hook line. maybe: a dialogue piece to kickstart; an ambiguous line that reels you in; an exciting action. i dont like starting my story with the name/pronouns of a character doing something boring. i.e. “you were getting ready for the day…” idk it’s not the worst thing in the world and we've all done it but just writing out what i try to avoid.

☥ build up is key to me. i have such a hard time reading and writing porn with no plot. i’ll do it sometimes if i like the writer enough, but i rarely write smut without the build up bcos i feel like that’s where the juice is. its whats fun and what you get to play around with bcos the actual sex part of the fic is pretty predictable.

focus on what’s said and unsaid in dialogue between characters. focus on the emotion each of them are feeling and how that emotion manifests into body language.

⟹ dirty talk is not for everyone, but god i love it. literally get nasty with it, this is your writing and we’re all just readin it. build anticipation using dirty talk, make filthy promises, make threats. make your characters talk about the nasty shit they wanna do to each other.

imagine someone you really wanna fuck, imagine the things youd do to them if you had the chance,,, write it into your characters.

☥ foreplay. goes hand in hand with dirty talk, its where the touching starts. decide how you want to play it. who gets oral, who gets fingered. both? one of them? neither and they just go straight to fucking?? i like foreplay, but if youre writing a “quickie” scenario then it may not be in the cards.

lets say it is in the cards tho. so some things to remember:

⟹ foreplay gets the dicks hard. when dicks get hard they leak pre-cum. balls have like no cushion and theyre soft and have little sacks in em that move around. the skin of this genital is often described as velvety bcos its soft. ive honestly never had sex with an uncircumcised penis so i have no idea if there’s a difference between how they feel.

foreplay makes the pussies loose and wet. the inside can be lumpy. it can be ridged or smooth. it can be all kinds of flesh colors like brown and pink.

without the foreplay (which can be verbal communication, or touching of the body or genitals) its a little painful for afabs bcos theyre too tight or too dry. and a flaccid dick is a little unpredictable to try to fit in.

⟹ afabs can have multiple orgasms, amabs are less lucky. afabs can cum and squirt multiple times, amabs can cum multiple times.

⟹ genitals get really sensitive after cumming though. so if you write someone finishing, write out how they might need some time before they finish again or start fucking, or that they get overstimulated getting touched still after they came and that sensitivity is a little uncomfortable.

⟹ the head of the penis is the most sensitive and that’s what makes it cum/orgasm. clits on pussies are the most sensitive and its what makes cum/orgasms happen. its very difficult if not impossible to achieve orgasm (if youve got a pussy) through penetration alone without clit stimulation

⟹ you can cum/squirt and not have an orgasm

☥ sex

⟹ changing positions can change angles and hit new pleasurable spots inside pussies.

⟹ probably write a couple different positions during the sex part, just to keep things fresh.

⟹ sprinkle in dirty talk to prolong the sex scene and to avoid sounding repetitive because if youre writing p in v it’s pretty standard to thrust over and over again until youre done. its a lot less glamorous when you spell it out like that, so you gotta add shit to make the sex scene more enjoyable to the reader whos not actively experience the sex.

☥ ending. i usually end the one shot after the fucking is done.

the smut tips

☥ think back to a time you were really turned on. from a show, from a book, something someone said to you, your own sex life, porn you really liked,,, take inspiration from it. use it and channel that own arousal within you.

if youve got a dirty fantasy and it gets you so hot and bothered thinking about it, write that.

if youve got a partner that fucks you crazy good and supplies you with inspo for dialogue or for settings or for scenarios, write that too. theres been a whole bunch on my blog that was inspired by my boyfriend. not everything, but enough to mention it.

also! another thing that people underestimate is the inspiration you take from other blogs. like mine for example, if you like my stuff take inspo from it. study my writing style and you’ll see all kinds of little tips in subtext id never be able to list for you. i do that with other blogs, i dont copy them but i definitely learn little things i like from them and incorporate it into my writing for a more cohesive story. if i take an idea though i ask for their permission & credit them.

☥ the most important tip i can give you is be as self indulgent as possible. youre wasting time worrying about other people. “will they like this? will people think im weird? what if they think im weird for writing this?” fuck that noise. warn accordingly, and go ham. your self indulgence is your best friend. it’ll guide you through all those dirty things you want to say or do to someone, let it take root and write what excites you. chances are you will find your people, and your fic will be set apart bcos it’s so specific to you that people will be drawn to that. and if theyre not? it ends up not being popular? it doesnt matter! because you had fun writing it right? fuck yea u did

☥ the types of words you use are so important. words that invoke a certain emotion or sexy feeling. its difficult to explain but i try my hardest to use “beautiful language” paired with dirty, disgusting, cacophonous language. marry them together so you can convey whether youre “love-making” or “fucking”. i dont like words that dont look or sound good in my head. like when you paint, you probably use colors you like looking at to create the entire picture on the canvas that’s beautiful. so pick out paints that are pleasing to the eyes. the bold ones and the soft ones.

examples of words i dont use cos i hate the way they sound and the way they look: “vagina” and “penis” LMAO

even “butt” isnt a word i like to use. i’ll almost always use “ass” or “backside”

⟹ the smut writer’s dictionary

☥ i keep comedy out of it for the most part, ive never really seem humor added positively into a smut that added to the experience. its usually physical humor stuff like the characters bumping heads or stubbing their toe or something its just cringy to me idk. if i add comedy (i am not good at writing comedy)i put it before the smut. and if you must have some sort of lightheartedness id keep it casual, light, and personal. like an inside joke or something tongue in cheek. you dont have to hide your deepest desires behind humor , you can be serious

☥ your pain tolerance is heightened so run with that. get spanked its fun

more important tips i love and stand by:

☥ call backs are important to me. it’s like if you have something in the future of your fic to be used, try to incorporate it in some small way in your establishing settings or build up. but it’s not as important to others as it is to me. an example would be in my one shot “talk huttese to me”, at the end anakin fucks reader on the tool table. at the very beginning of the fic, when i had reader taking in the surroundings of the “garage bay”, she scanned the drawer stack where she set his broth she brought him, and the tool table he’d later fuck her on. its kinda like,,, foreshadowing (i think?). you’re setting up your reader to be like “?? i wonder why the author thought it would be important to mention the tool table.. wonder if anakin fucks her on it later.” but even if your readers dont react that way, i still think it ties things together nicely

☥ try to write 15-20 mins uninterrupted. create a ritual. i use the bathroom, refill my water, grab a fun drink like sweet tea, put on a silent youtube video (like my ahsoka star wars lofi live i love so much), listen to a playlist of music (preferably music you havent heard before so it can fade into the background. maybe even cultivate a playlist for the vibe youre going for in your story, aids greatly in creating an atmosphere in your writing if youre translating the music in your ears), and turn your phones notifications off (ofc i leave on notifs for calls in case of emergencies, but i can answer my friends’ texts after my writing session). set a timer so you dont have to keep checking the time.

☥ don’t stop in the middle of your storytelling to check the thesaurus or dictionary. write out whatever word/phrase first came to mind and highlight it to come back to later to alter or replace it completely. you’re interrupted your creative flow and its difficult to come back to it when youre checking the thesaurus every five seconds. this hack was crucial to my ability to stay on task i promise you

☥ avoid sounding repetitive by using the same words close together. you’ll create a fuller story by adding to your vocabulary using the thesaurus.

☥ avoid listing actions, break them up with adverbs at the start of your sentences if you must, or description of things or the place your character is in, or explain the emotion your character is feeling or what that emotion is causing within your character. starting sentences over and over again with the character’s name or pronoun breaks up the flow for the reader.

☥ really try to finish your works in progress even if you think its bad, the challenge of it will help you practice and learn to overcome your own mind trying to hold you back

☥ if you dont like the direction your fic is going,,, and youre experiencing writer’s block:: cross out the most recent bit and take it in a new direction. “oh but indy!! i really have a certain goal in mind!!” great, find another way to get to it because youre blocking yourself from finishing this forcing yourself into a non entertaining corner. switch it up! challenge yourself. “but indy!! i really liked what i had for this scene!!” yea but youre blocked right? youre not writing anything else for this scene and you cant, right? if you like what you have for this scene (an action, a dialogue piece youre proud of, a plot twist) save it! use it for a different piece !

hope this helps you and others!

#indy shoots the shit #anon #indy overshares #thanks for the msg!! #writing tips #smut writing tips

[spoopydooblr]

The Ken and Stella pregnancy blurb was so good could you write one where they find out that she’s pregnant?

ive been thinking about this scenario a lot and i cant really decide how i want this to go . . .

i think a year or so after they get married (stella is like 30ish) they start to really do their research and find the best fertility clinic in the city. its been almost 20 years since kendall and rava struggled to get pregnant, but still, he's not feeling optimistic.

stella gets a clean bill of health from the doctor, but ken isn't so lucky. just as he suspected, he was the problem. again.

was it the drugs? he was clean now, but he used so much...could he have ruined his chances forever?

stella assures him that it'll be okay, but she never went through what he had to 20 years ago.

they decide on a couple of treatments. they're both taking shots every day and pills at night and its exhausting. most of the meds go to kendall, but stella has to take some too, just in case.

they begin with intrauterine insemination, which is pretty simple and painless, but stella gets her period two weeks later. its hard on both of them, but especially kendall because he knows it's him, not her.

next they try ivf, which is a lot more complicated and expensive (not that money is an issue). now they both have to do injections and stella goes in for her egg retrieval.

the egg retrieval goes better than expected and they're left with 10. ken's sample has some relatively viable sperm so they pull the trigger and try to make some embryos.

the waiting is by-far the worst part, because deep down kendall knows there's no way those embryos are going to get made with his shitty sperm. he's right, unfortunately, and they're back to square one with zero embryos and ten now-frozen eggs.

kendall suggests a donor, like they did with iverson. stella's heartbroken, but they start to look into other options.

because they have the best doctors, however, they get into a trial for a new drug that increases sperm count and viability. stella is thrilled and insists kendall try it, but it's another injection and he's not super happy about it. nothing has ever worked for him, why now?

it's nice to have a break from more intense treatments, so they agree and kendall marks his torso up with injection pricks again.

three months later, ken and stella are enjoying some time off from surgery and tiny, microscopic cells that control their lives. kendall's in new york for the week, working on some financials for their production company (i imagine them making something rival to waystar and completely taking over the media scene), and stella is holding it down in los angeles, or at least trying to.

it's flu season and she's been to so many fancy parties in the last few weeks, stella is sick as a dog. she's a little worried, but the nausea, vomiting and headaches are typical for the flu, right?

she also chalks her late period up to stress. but it's been at least a few weeks...

the day before kendall is supposed to come home, stella drives herself to the hospital after she can't stop throwing up.

"when did the symptoms start?" the doctor asks.

"a week ago, i think, but ive been feeling kind of off for a while."

"and there's no chance you're pregnant? when was your last period?"

stella's heart skips a beat.

"um, i'm not sure. we're trying, uh, but it's been unsuccessful. my period is really irregular and i've been stressed so--" she trails off. "we've been trying for a couple of years."

"and are you taking medication?"

"i did, but it's not really..." she thinks for a bit. "it's not a uterus issue, it's my husband."

"and what is he taking?"

she tells the doctor about the new medication kendall is taking. "it's only been three months, so we're still hopeful. or at least i am."

"i've heard some great things about that new drug. it's really changing people's lives." the doctor smiles, turning away from stella and writing something down. "i'm going to order some tests, but i think you're fine."

------------------

kendall, obviously, sprints to his jet when stella tells him she's sick. she insists she's fine, but wants him to come home as soon as he can, which stresses him out to no avail.

he bursts through the door four hours later, finding stella reading a magazine on the couch.

"stell!" he says, running towards her.

"hey baby." she hugs him, bringing him down to the couch with her. stella presses her lips to his, but kendall is confused.

"aren't you sick?" he pulls away.

her face breaks into a huge smile. "about that..." stella gets up from the couch and walks to the kitchen.

kendall looks at her quizzically, as she comes back with a piece of paper in her hands.

"i have something to show you." she says, holding the paper close to her.

"okay..." kendall smiles at her, utterly confused.

stella carefully sits next to him on the couch. "here."

kendall recognizes the picture immediately. he used to frame them when rava was pregnant with iverson.

"what is this?" he holds up the ultrasound. it's too good to be true, right? tears prick his eyes.

stella is crying already, and takes his hand. "that's inside of me."

he looks down at the black and white photo again. a fuzzy, bean-looking object sits, next to another, smaller object. he's speechless for the first time in his life.

"what is that?" he whispers, pointing to the smaller object on the page.

stella looks at him, and he really can't read her for once.

"this surprise comes with another surprise." she laughs.

kendall's crying, but he takes another look. "is that..."

"yeah."

"two?" he smiles wide.

"i'm pregnant." she finally says, putting her hands on his cheeks. "baby, we're having twins."

they both burst out into crying giggles, hugging. kendall kisses her all over, stopping at her stomach. it's still pretty flat, but he knows her body so well he swears he can see a tiny bump growing.

THIS WAS SO FUN AND LOVELY TO WRITE I LOVE THEM AND I HOPE U DO TOO

#kendall roy x oc #kendall roy x reader #kendall roy

[leolingo]

(rant about linguistics, aphasia and q!quackity’s impairments post-memory loss!!! to anyone who knows more about any of this, PLEASE add on or dm me id love to learn if anyones into neurolinguistics or anything of the sort)

ive been digging deeper into q!quackity’s condition (because I quite literally CAN’T stop thinking abou it) + taking note of his symptoms/behavior and it seems like what he’s dealing with could be called alexia (acquired inability to read) with agraphia (acquired inability to write), which are types of general aphasia, except i still need to know MORE about his production and comprehension i need to get in there!!!!!

it seems like he could be experiencing literal/verbal alexia with agraphia, which would mean he can’t recognize written letters or symbols at all and that is why he’s unable to read (this is all very tentative… all i have to go off of is my psycholinguistics class and as many academic articles as i can read). from what ive seen, q!q hasn’t actually tried to read any signs out loud, there’s no verbal attempt or production of speech which would make sense if he really can’t recognize the alphabet. BUT. what bothers me is that he can speak spanish with no issues. since spanish has a high proximity between phonology and orthography, theory says people who are able to speak it should be able to read and write the phonemes. and he can’t — or hasn’t tried. THAT makes me think he Can recognize the letters themselves

to confirm this i would really like to see him try to spell…. Or just name a letter! if its confirmed he CAN recognize individual letters, then id say what we’re looking at is more like pure alexia (without agraphia) — only a reading impairment, which would cause him to be unable to Arrange the letters in a sensical order. Its tough to check any of this w minecraft as a medium…. with a keyboard (or, in rp, on a communicator/in chat) it’s kind of impossible to know if he’s clicking at random or actually Trying to seek specific letters. but ill say that the way he sometimes dictates what he’s intending to write makes me think he DOES have the visual of each letter in his mind, and just struggles to order them or accurately transpose them

its also interesting to me how theres no sign of a speech impediment. q!q could speak fine from the very first moment we saw him. all hesitation was modal/owed to circumstance and not actually tied to his production of speech. i think that has more to do with the memory part of things! it could be that the extend of his memory alteration only goes as far as his writing and reading do. speech and comprehension come first in regular human development, and those are the faculties he has kept mostly unaltered. there could also be an argument to make about this pointing spanish as his first language (like cc!quackity) and english as his second, which would explain the dissonance between his production in one language and the other — but given that last stream he did express knowledge of english, idk if its relevant

i dont know much about the actual anatomy of things but i think it’s interesting that most aphasia cases are caused by lesions on the left temporal-parietal lobe. AND that its also possible for aphasia to be caused by head trauma like a hard hit to the head or deprival of oxygen (due to drowning? food for thought).

psa i know the situation in canon could be a lot less deep than im trying to make it. i get that. i dont expect the writers team to have researched the symptoms to this extent, but i enjoy discussing it. this is part of my major and a big area of interest for me so i find it really fun :) ill keep reading on this topic as much as i can and reblog w more of my musings if i find more relevant info. baseline qsmp team please let me in i need to study q!q under a microscope (lovingly)

#literally its ALLLLLLLLLL I think about since the return stream #WHAT THEY DO TO HIM? #kit.txt #qsmp #q!quackity #kit.meta

[youremyheaven]

Hello! I've been trying to learn and study verdic astrology for a while now, but can't seem to find the time for it, so your observations and overall all your posts have been incredibly helpful in helping me understand more of the concept(?) and the stories behind each nakshatras that you've been writing about. Though I do have some questions about certain things that I've been trying to find answers for, but whenever I try to find those answers, it seems like there's not much informations about them. Some had sufficient details but it was harder to grasp the exact answers I've been looking for. So I decided maybe I could find those answers from you! Although I'm in no way part of your culture, with how much I've come to understand myself more through your researches made me all the more interested in spirituality and verdic astrology itself! There are questions I've come to be more curious about and would like to hear your thoughts on them!

I'm meaning to find the difference between tropical and sidereal astrology. Though I don't exactly grasp whether or not tropical is the same as western astrology or are they the same thing?

This thus then begs the question whether tropical chart placements can relate to sidereal nakshatras placements. I've been seeing (more like read) that you often mention that if you have these nakshatras placements in tropical, they can have certain relevance or influence since some nakshatras share a sign or stay in only one sign in tropical (I don't really get whether the tropical chart that I searched for is really tropical cause it particularly looks the same as the western chart)

If so (that tropical placements can share similar characteristics to nakshatras at sidereal) to what extend does this influence apply?

If you do answer to these questions of mine, thank you very very much! For making time to answer these questions as well as answering them and would likely satiate my immense curiosity about these topics! Your works have been immensely beautiful and I hope there are more researches to come from you! Have a great day! 😊🌷

thank you, im glad my posts have been helpful!!

these are really good questions and i feel like it will help many people clear misunderstandings or understand things better, so here it goes:

is tropical the same as a western birth chart?

pretty much yes. there are many different types of astrology systems (hellenistic, vedic, islamic etc all based on cultural variations) and there's also draconic, horary, harmonic etc

tropical and sidereal astrology differ in terms of how the zodiac is mapped. tropical astrology does not take the concept of axial precession into account. the sun does not return to the same point in the sky every year.

tropical uses fixed stars whereas sidereal take into account the current position of stars. this is why they say tropical is more simplified and sidereal presents a more holistic view of things.

2. i do think tropical and sidereal are two halves of a whole. tropical astrology provides a very simplified overview of the psychology and attributes of different signs whereas sidereal helps us gain a deeper understanding of who we are.

i think its hard for some people because they deeply identify with being a leo for example and realize that actually they're sidereal cancers, the tropical chart kind of represents your ego and external attachments and sidereal shows your hidden/repressed/shadow side. ive heard many people say that it was a journey to go from heavily identifying with their tropical chart and feeling disconnected to their sidereal chart to eventually coming to terms with and embracing it and in turn those parts of themselves. its like doing shadow work. but this is just my personal opinion

i say that even tropical placements can relate to some of the sidereal takes because i dont think you cease to be the person you are just because you switch systems. if you're a tropical pisces and a sidereal aquarius, its possible and alright to feel drawn to pisces energy or both those energies. since its essentially based on how we're looking at the positions of these stars in the galaxy, we can't really say what we feel connected to or what we dont. astrology is not a perfect science. there are elements of pisces in aquarius, of aries in pisces and so on and so forth. its best to not think in arbitrary terms because all of us have many influences that shape us.

idk what you meant by tropical chart looking the same as a western chart bc theyre the same😭😭😭

3. i feel like i answered this above but like i said i feel like everything is a meeting point of many different energies. like Revati (since we're in Revati season) belongs entirely to Sidereal Pisces rashi but i definitely associate the tropical fire sign chaos with it because they're tropical Aries'. obviously this is just how i think of and perceive them. I think it also has a lot to do with how the elements are perceived in tropical vs vedic. In tropical astrology water is mostly understood as this tranquil, reflective, moody energy but in Vedic there is more complexity to every element and a lot of emphasis on the destructive nature of water (UBP, Ashlesha, Jyeshta etc all fall into water rashis) even fire is understood not only as severe and dynamic but also purifying with its scorching heat.

Revati is the birth nakshatra of Saturn, the exact exaltation point of Venus and is Mercury ruled in Pisces rashi which is Jupiter ruled, so that's like 4 different influences right there lol

i know ive used sidereal and vedic interchangeably throughout this post but just wanna say that vedic astrology uses the sidereal system of looking at the stars. but obviously vedic astrology is a whole separate system rooted in indian culture and hindu mythology etc (its like how milk is used to make ice cream, milk is not ice cream but it is USED to make ice cream, if that makes sense??)

also usually i feel like whatever major placements you have in tropical somehow shows up in vedic too?? like if you have a stellium in say virgo, maybe in vedic you have a mercury ruled nakshatra in your big 3. i feel like the overall influences/themes etc often repeat themselves but obvi there will be variations too

youre welcome!!<33 hope u have a good day too bestie<33tysm for reading this far<3

#jyotish #vedic astrology #tropical astrology #sidereal astrology

[hiyoir]

I loved your writing for Shu, I was the one who request the last Shu request! Thank you for doing my request<3

I’m not sure if you’ll take a request from me again, but I wanted to ask if I could request nsfw of Shu trying to figure out how to please his boyfriend in bed so he picks up a suggestive magazine or googles tips. He gets super embarrassed while reading it but decided to try it out when his boyfriend (reader) comes home. I think Shu trying to be a power bottom before letting the reader go down on him with Shu begging for overstimulation and fluffy aftercare would be so 💞💞

If you don’t want to take the request, I understand fully, thank you for your time<33

Synopsis: As you and Shu begin to be more sensual together, he seeks out sex advice from erotic media to hopefully try with you.

A/N: hey anon SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG... ive been a bit worn out recently but i hope you really enjoy this !!

CW/s: sex toys, lingerie, overstimulation (sort of implied), teasing

Shu paced around the room, checking the clock every 5 minutes to make sure you will arrive home on time like you promised. His mind was racing with raging erotic fantasies, especially after researching so much for you. His "research", as he calls it, had seemingly made him a bit too excited to try them on you.

The clock ticks 3:15, and Shu stops in his tracks to rush to the closest. Frantic hands pulled out a blue box that one of his friends had passed to him. His hands picking up a toy and lingerie for himself before rushing at your unexpectedly early arrival, almost tripping from excitement.

As you closed the door behind you, Shu had already pulled you into an unexpected hug. You let out a squeak at his sudden affection, but paid no attention to it.

"Someone's clingy today, hmm?" You cooed, cupping Shu's cheeks in your hands. His face is burnt red as he attempts to wriggle free from your touch.

"Well, yeah! Ahem, I was researching a topic of some sort..." You noticed his voice got croakier and his hands trembled, his hand carrying his research utensils snuck behind his back. A sly smirk grew on your face as Shu stammered to find a way to bring such a topic up.

"It... It's a topic regarding our intimate matters... I think—"

"I've heard enough." Your hand grabs Shu's wrist, causing him to drop the vibrator and the lingerie onto the floor. His cheeks flushed red as he takes a step back. Your hand, still on his wrist, tightens its grip to pull him closer to you.

"Just what are you planning, dear Shu?"

"I— I was just excited to try some stuff out..." You grinned, the hand once gripping his wrist trails to his cheek to caress it gently.

"That wasn't so hard, hm?" Your lips brushed against his ear as you place both hands on his shoulders, guiding him to the nearest couch you could fuck him on. The embarrassed look on his face was such a sight to see, especially once you push him onto a couch. His lips curved as if he longs to ask a question. After a lot of squirming and whimpering, he finally whines out a string of words.

"I just— I just want to please you, (name)..." His fingers fiddled with his shirt button, unbuttoning it one by one. Arousal flows in your veins, every drop of blood in your body screaming Shu's name. As you leaned in, you felt Shu quiver.

"If you want to please me, get in that lingerie and doll yourself up," Your hand rises to his cheek once more as you slowly carress it. You had unknowingly pressed your knee up against Shu's crotch, feeling his erection harden with every second.

"My beloved Shu..."

—

The rhythmic sound of skin slapping against skin echoed throughout the room alongside Shu's whorish moans. His nails sunk deep into your back, deep enough to leave a mark. The bottom piece of the lingerie was discarded to the dark corner of the room as the top piece uncomfortably rubs against Shu's erect nipples.

"Oh—! Right there...!" Shu whines, clawing onto your back harder.

"How could I ever forget your sweet spot, Shu?" You twitched inside him, thrusting hard at the last syllable of your sentence.

"Shu ... I'm close— Fuck..." You writhe under your breath, sweat trickling down from your forehead. Without noticing, Shu had already came, the white specks of semen coating his toned belly.

Your dick twitched even more inside him. It wasn't long after your release. As you were about to pull out, a hand flew to your wrist to halt your movements.

"Shu...?" You tilted your head, your mind too hazy to think straight.

"I... I want more..." Shu whines as the puzzles click in your head. This was what he truly wanted, huh? After a deep breath, you giggle before reaching over to the bedside lamp for a vibrator. Shu's eyes glisten the more you bring it close to his erect dick. The vibrator turns on with a whizz, the audible vibration heightening as you set it on the highest speed.

"I don't quite understand." You grinned, sliding yourself fully inside him again. Shu gasps at the pleasure, making it a perfect opportunity to tease his tip. You placed the vibrator on his tip before extracting it. It was a cycle of thrusting into Shu at a painfully slow rate and teasing him with the vibrator. You knew he wanted more, he wanted to be overstimulated, but it would sound much better if he was specific.

"I—" Shu whines, his body trembling from all this teasing.

"I want you... To make me cum buckets— Just please, don't go easy on me at all." About time.

"It wasn't that hard, right?" Another sinister smile grows on your face as you swirl the vibrator around his dick, thrusting at a much faster pace. It was surprising to see how fast Shu came. You set the vibrator aside, prepping yourself. Your eyes gazed into Shu's, seeing the look of desperation in his eyes. It would be rude to keep such a princess waiting. You roughly thrust into Shu, eliciting a loud moan yourself.

"Fuck... I love you, Shu."

—

"I hope I wasn't too rough on you." You panted, sitting on your bed. A plain white robe covered your naked body as Shu laid there unable to walk.

"It's fine... I really enjoyed it." Shu smiles, sitting up with a sharp gasp due to the pain. Sitting beside him, you pull him into a soft hug.

"I love you, Shu." You whisper in his ears. "I love you so much, you did amazing."

"Shut it... You're making me embarrassed." You chuckled at Shu's embarrassment. It was so refreshing to see, especially after such a rough session. Shu truly is beautiful, hm?

#itsuki shu x reader smut #shu itsuki x reader smut #shu itsuki x reader #itsuki shu x reader #bottom!shu itsuki #ensemble stars #enstars #ensemble stars x reader #male reader #dom!reader

[transfaguette]

hey i remember you mentioning you have chronic fatigue a while ago. if you dont mind me asking, how did you figure that out? did a doctor help you navigate your symptoms and arrive to that conclusion or did you figure it out yourself and. how. i considered it as a possible explanation for my symptoms years ago but after a while of not being heard/believed i just kinda started ignoring it since ive been basically programmed to keep functioning 'as normal' since childhood even with no spoons (disabled from 4 years old with some kind of arthritis/similar and a mother obsessed with making me not look disabled). but a recent chain of events and its consequences on my health left me wondering. and now im wondering how to even go about it

i think first we have to make a distinction between chronic fatigue (a symptom) and chronic fatigue syndrome (a disease). As a symptom it can have many, many causes and many many solutions. The specific hallmark of CFS is post exertional malaise, a symptom where activity and exertion worsens your symptoms, sometimes for days, weeks, or even months or years. PEM can also come with a sore throat and swollen lymph nodes, among other things. That is kinda how you figure out you have CFS. This exertion doesn’t have to be strictly physical, either. mental and emotional exertion can trigger PEM as well. You should also rule out other diseases, too, because like I said chronic fatigue as a symptom can have many causes, and some of them are much more treatable than CFS. But if you’ve been chronically ill you’re probably used to tests always coming back normal.

I figured this all out by myself. CFS is like fibromyalgia in terms of how the medical community treats it but with even less support and approved treatment I think. It has been a known complication of long-covid (and other viral infections like mono), though and so has been speeding up in research and advocacy progress the last few years. Basically the only treatment is whats known as pacing, or carefully managing your activity level as to not trigger PEM. After 2 years I’m still trying to adjust to this. It’s hard. But some people do reach pre-illness levels of function with careful pacing so it is very much worth doing.

i recommend checking out the FAQ on the CFS reddit, theres a wealth of knowledge there.

Good luck, and I hope you find some healing in your future.

#asks

[alstroemerian-dragon]

man. thinking about how the survivors all desperately need new hobbies

like. okay. sonia’s a great example. off the top of your head what are her hobbies? probably learning about and researching true crime and the occult, and watching j-dramas/anime, right? but if you really think about it, her fascination with japanese culture very much feels like her just desperately wanting to fit in and massively overcompensating. so while i do think she probably enjoys those shows, theyre definitely not as popular in her kingdom as she claims (not that im saying she’s lying on purpose, just that. well, when you feel embarrassed about someones reaction to you liking something, sometimes you’ll try to make an excuse for why you do yknow), and plus, its not like they have access to a lot of entertainment media for a while post program. as for the occult/true crime stuff…

look me in the eye and tell me junko did not use that against her. do you really think junko enoshima would not see a girl obsessed with the study of serial killers and not try and warp that into a fascination with her?

i think that stuff leaves a bad taste in her mouth now. and after committing and being complicit in the committing of the kind of crimes she used to be fascinated by, its kind of hard to find the joy in that anymore, yknow? the occult stuff could maybe still be enjoyable, but with how often it feels like there are ghosts lurking around every fucking corner and her dreams are filled with screaming corpses its kinda hard to be fanciful about that stuff.

so. girl needs some new hobbies.

its not much better for the others, either. akanes hobbies were basically working out, doing parkour, eating, and sleeping. the first two are downright impossible for the first several months after waking up, and for the foreseeable future any kind of physical activity is going to be, to an extent, difficult just due to how much chronic pain and weakness she’ll probably suffer the rest of her life. she can get to a healthier weight and a stronger muscular build, but its not going to change the fact that she gets out of breath and sore much faster than before. as for eating… well. thats gonna be a sore subject for a while. so all she has left is sleeping, and sleeping all day is, as ive been told by many people, kind of a depression symptom? and theres no way the others would sit back and let her do that.

girl needs some new hobbies!

kazuichi, from what we can tell, had a few more normal hobbies. in game you can find him gaming with chiaki, and he seems to enjoy coming up with schemes and plans for silly stuff, but overall he just loves his tinkering. he may be the ultimate mechanic but first and foremost he just loves fucking with machines and engines and finding out what makes them tick. but even that isnt gonna work anymore. sure, he could game. if they had any fucking consoles. or a working computer network. or any games. but none of that is happening for a while, if ever. as for his tinkering, it’s gotta be a similarly sore subject to sonia’s training and tutoring as a princess. its too closely linked to what he did as a despair, too closely linked to his talent, to not make him feel like screaming when he smells machine polish. i think he definitely could get back to a point where it genuinely brings him joy again, and before that he definitely forces himself to use his talent and knowledge because they need it, but. its a complicated problem.

the guy needs some new fucking hobbies.

and of course… fuyuhiko.

fuyuhiko… doesnt have any hobbies.

like okay can you think of a single thing from the game (or fuck even the anime) that implies that he has anything he actually does For Fun. he has a sweet tooth. hes dedicated to his clan. he went to the zoo with peko one time. he got in fights at school. thats… those arent hobbies. fuyuhiko doesnt have any hobbies!!! someone get this boy some fucking knitting needles or a book to read!!!! please!!!!!!!!!! i think it would genuinely help him a lot to have something to do instead of just sitting and stewing in his own trash fire of a brain speaking from experience. learn to sew, read some fantasy novels, learn to play the guitar, something. im begging you.

and hajime is his own fucking can of worms.

he probably had hobbies before the Horrors. right? he probably played some video games, maybe liked martial arts films, maybe sketched in the margins of his notebooks. rode his bike sometimes. but now? nothing keeps his interest that long. everything becomes monotonous after a while, and sure, sometimes thats the draw. with stuff like fiber crafts the point is sometimes making it muscle memory so you have something to do with your hands. but other times its not. and his ability to basically excel in most things you put in front of him has to be so fucking boring after a while. a lot of the point of having hobbies is that you arent perfect. the draw is learning, is getting better. even reading can become nothing when any nonfiction book has knowledge in it you already know and any fiction book you can intuit the ending from the first few pages. he probably reads Lightning Fast now too, so it cant hold his interest for long.

he probably has to constantly be switching hobbies and outlets. cant stay on one thing too long, or the ennui starts to set in. that sounds miserable.

someone get these kids some hobbies, man

#personal #meta #danganronpa #sdr2 #neo survivors #MAN. YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW MISERABLE THE SURVIVORS ARE AT FIRST #BECAUSE I DO!!!!!! #personally i think sonia gets into painting. i think its fun if she specifically gets into mural painting #and starts decorating the facilities walls #i think she also gets really into helping build stuff and working with her hands because she never did that as a princess!!! #fuyuhiko i think gets into fiber crafts. specifically i could see him doing embroidery and shit #and reading. i think he develops a very embarrassing love of romance novels #but mostly he likes detective and mystery fiction yknow #kaz of course figured out how to make tinkering work for him again. he has to #but i think they also get into like. soldering as an art thing too #sculpture and stuff!! #and they and sonia are both really into fashion stuff so when the foundation sends them more clothes #and more materials #they both go ham making new clothes and outfits and shit #the two of them both learning how to sew <3 bonding experience. #akane definitely also figures out a way to get working out to work again. just slightly different from before #more stretching and stuff. i think she could also benefit from some meditation techniques! maybe she gets into yoga #and of course when they all finally get shipments of movies and tv shows from before the tragedy they all eat that shit UP #OH and akane LOVES taking care of the animals. like yeah a lot of them are probably gonna end up getting eaten eventually #and she definitely is a benefitter of that. but that doesnt mean she cant care for them now!!! #she takes point on feeding and caring for their livestock and chickens and stuff <3 #hajime of course. uh. jumps around. he does a lot of stuff. #anything to keep the darkness at bay ykwim!!!! haha #i do think he reads. and i think he does do art too because even if you have the ultimate artist in you #its always gonna turn out a little different

[princessdiaries333]

December goals + accountability post

୭ ❄️ ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀

DRINK WATER

i seriously need to cut back on the amount of soda i’m drinking its so bad for me. my skin is suffering and ik water is super super beneficial, it will help me achieve all the rest of my goals !! my goal is to drink at least 4 bottles of water a day.

DONT PROCRASTINATE

i have so many things i need and want to do, i’ve been so swamped and drowning in school work i need to spend this winter break to get ahead and study. i also need to get my permit, it’s been almost a year since i turned 15 and im still putting it off. if i keep waiting i wont be able to get my license till im 17. i also really really wanna get a job. my goal is to study for all my classes to prepare for the new quarter and get my permit.

WORKOUT

i’m currently the lightest i’ve been in a long time but i’m not satisfied with how i look. i feel fatter than ever and it sucks because ive worked so hard to get to this point and i can’t enjoy it. i think the biggest reason i feel like this is because i haven’t been working out, over the summer i was working out every day and i was getting really toned. now I’ve lost weight but in not toned at all so it makes me feel like im bigger than i am cuz it’s all soft fat. my goal is to do pilates at least 5 times a week and try to go on walks every day.

EAT HEALTHY

i NEED to stop binging sm crap. i’m constantly eating junk food that doesn’t even fulfill me. most of the food i eat just makes me feel miserable right after. eating healthier will improve my general health but also my mental health and yk that’s great !! i also want to eat smaller portions because my mom always piles food onto my plate and forces me to eat the whole thing. so to avoid this and so i can be completely aware of what i’m putting in my body, my goal is to cook my own food and meal prep healthy and nutritious meals.

GET OFF THE PHONE

i want to spend more of my time doing things that make lasting and meaningful memories and help me grow instead of spending every hour of the day rotting in bed on my phone. i’ve been so busy with school i haven’t been able to finish any of my books so id like to dedicate some of this break to finishing those. i also want to go out with my friends and boyfriend more. my goal is to spend less time on my phone and more time doing things i enjoy and spending time with the people i love !!

ACADEMICS

i’ve been telling myself for so long that i’ll do a deep dive and fully research all things regarding college so i can build my game plan for the next 2 years. i’m a sophomore in high school so i want to know exactly where i want to go from here. i need to know what schools i want to go to, how to qualify for certain scholarships, what i want to major in, what are the best schools for my passions, how will i pay for it. there’s so much to find out and if i make my plan now i’ll save myself sm stress down the road. my goal is to set up a college plan and do thorough research for my future.

#self care #vs angel #girl blogging #wellness #coquette #girlblogging #it girl #pilates #pink pilates princess #pink #pinkmas #snow angel #neapolitan #neapolitanprincess #pink academia

[daedalusdavinci]

Meaningful gestures 30. "Wow, you really did your research, huh? That's amazing..." is eating my brain because of college!Bruharvey. Like, this doesn’t have to be a prompt but just picture Harv/2-F’s reaction to seeing Bruce do research just to help them.

(I can’t decide what would be better, Harv or 2-F fronting in the moment they find out.)

god my requests are closed because ive had such a hard time writing recently but youre right. youre right youre absolutely right. i had to take a shot at it. i went with harv just bc i think 2fs realization is more of a gradual thing of like, hes engaging with me, hes asking questions about this, hes been talking to harvey, hes researching this. whereas for harvey hes the king of denial and repression and its just going to hit him all at once bonus: ive got bundle of joy from the inside out soundtrack looping as i play this and i think it adds to the devastation

heres the prompt meme

The stack of books on Bruce's desk feels like an impossible tower, its shadow looming over Harvey the way his father used to during those late nights, clothes disheveled and beer still in hand.

Except, it's not like that at all. It's huge and overwhelming, terrifying in its size, but its scary because of what it represents- not what it might do. The hit comes before Harvey ever knows he has to brace for it, finding an unguarded place in his ribs and striking straight through to his heart. The air leaves his lungs. His steps stagger. His hands feel shaky and his knees are untrustworthy, at risk of giving out beneath him at any minute.

They're just books. They're just books. It's what Bruce does. He inhales knowledge like his life depends on it, drawn to every bit of esoterica he can get his hands on. It shouldn't matter.

But it does.

Harvey half expects the books to vanish when he reaches for them, but the spines are cracked and worn, the pages soft and bending under his thumb. Sticky notes feather the edges and a journal is wedged somewhere in the stack, the telltale leather a sign that Bruce has been taking notes. It's the kind of journal he uses for things he wants to remember, too- the things that really matter, and not just the stuff the teachers drone on about in lecture. The words choke in Harvey's throat and they come out too small, but he says, "You really did your research."

"Of course," Bruce says, like he's surprised there was ever even any doubt that he would, like he never even considered that there was another option available to him. "It's a part of you. I should know about it."

Except no one has ever wanted to know about it before. No one ever...

Harvey's mother loved him more than anything, but it was always beyond her. She sent him to therapy and she tried her best, but she never understood it. She didn't ask questions. It was her way of trying not to make him feel any stranger than he already did, but sometimes it just felt like she hoped he would be as normal as they pretended he was. Few people outside of her ever knew. Fewer of them were understanding. None of them ever asked beyond what was immediately strange or interesting, and it didn't really matter to them- not really. He was just an alien experience in their otherwise normal lives.

"Harv." Bruce's face is suddenly the only thing Harvey can see. His eyebrows are furrowed, the scar on his forehead pulling with it. His frown is perfect- a soft, pink pout that Harvey wants to trace with his thumb. A calloused palm cups Harvey's cheek, the edge of Bruce's thumb sweeping under his eye. It feels wet. "Hey."

It's too much. It feels like Harvey's rib cage is caving in around his heart and there's no space left for air. When he falls, Bruce is warm and solid and there, strong arms wrapping around Harvey's back and squeezing him close. Harvey's arms loop around his shoulders and his fingers grasp at the back of Bruce's shirt, and the way he jams his face into Bruce's neck, he's sure he's getting tears and snot on Bruce's collar, and it probably sucks, but Bruce doesn't complain for a second. Bruce holds him and it just feels safe.

Harvey had thought there was nothing more terrifying than telling Bruce he had DID. It'd felt like the ultimate plunge, plummeting off a cliff and just trusting that he'd hit the water right, cutting through the waves instead of splattering against the surface. But to be loved like this- to be stripped bare and step into the light, and to have someone place their hands on his scars and press promises into his skin, to not just accept him, but embrace him- it feels like drowning. It's dark and overwhelming and it burns, it burns to think that someone could look at the parts of himself he holds so much shame in and still love him, because it means maybe he deserved that much this whole time.

But when he breathes again, it's like breaking through the waves. It's the relief of being alive, the giddiness of adrenaline, and the warmth of the sun on his face again. It's the kiss Bruce presses into his hair.

It's being madly, madly in love.

#twobats #bruharvey #bruce wayne #harvey dent #two face #my fics #tumblr drabbles #posting this before i can look at it too hard #asks #child abuse // #FUCK I FORGOT THE TAG SORRY

[catboygirljoker]

you should say more about lamia. for his fans (me)

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 ughgghuuguuguu thank you.....

lamia (he/they) is a bristly autistic motherfucker in his mid-to-late twenties who doesnt take care of himself nearly as well as he ought to. their gut reaction to sincere (or insincere) affection is to panic and tell people to fuck off. they are The Bearer of a Curse. despite The Horrors he fights tooth and nail for a better future for the people around him. actually he fights a little too hard. he could stand to take a nap and eat a bagel or something. their favorite things are sweets, sitting alone on a roof, stimming by killing monsters, and dilfs.

above is an image of the sim i made of them, Happy, and in a Pleasant Conversation. very in character for him tee hee

Deep Lamia Lore under the cut. spoilers for the fic of which i have posted not a single word

also: content warning for speculative fiction parental abuse. putting this below the readmore because the fact that it happens is a spoiler lol

lamia has had horrific nightmares since he was little. their father was a researcher at what i can best describe as a magical laboratory and promised lamia that he would find a way to help them with the nightmares, saying that they're caused by the Darkness in their Heart. in the meantime the nightmares only got worse and worse. well it turns out his dad was lying the entire time. his dad's research was in how to transfer darkness from one person's heart into another's, and he's been transferring his own darkness into lamia's heart the entire time. ("darkness" and "heart" in this case are both pretty vague concepts that can mean a lot of things, this is how ive decided to play with those ideas for this character)

ten years ago the town he grew up in was taken over by an evil witch who unleashed a bunch of monsters on the town and nearly destroyed it, at which time his parents abandoned him because, well, it's not like his dad would be able to continue his research if he couldn't get to the lab. their current occupation is killing monsters and trying to protect people and restore the town. he runs himself absolutely ragged, barely eats, barely sleeps (because nightmares). he has friends, but there's really only so much they can do to support him when they're also trying to do the same thing he is.

despite his bristliness he's also the type of person to just give and give and give of himself until there's nothing left, not out of any kind of misplaced goodhearted altruism necessarily, because he feels he has to. they've had a couple really awful relationships--not abusive per se, but relationships with people who implicitly blamed them for the Darkness in their Heart and wanted to shape them into something more palatable.

this is the short version. and YES theyre a kingdom hearts oc. theyre a very angsty and tonally dissonant kingdom hearts oc. i made them up so they could kiss a weird old man who talks like a surfer. they have a keyblade and everything. its an old rusty broken keyblade that doesnt even work right. but it's like, Themes.

and before anyone is concerned about the age gap, lamia is 1. a fucked up but fully grown adult and 2. the same age or older than some of the most common characters xig is shipped with. so

#this is me being earnest and strange on main btw #again be niceys or die by my hand #kh #lamia #asks #lamiaposting

[wewontdieunbloomed]

this is part two of unlearning the bad things i unconsciously learnt from last year.

part one was the negative default pessimism i fall in to, which i keep calling it me being emo which means i dwell in my “misery” for far too long, instead of trying to think of something positive to get myself moving out of the bad zone i am in. as we are often told, sadness and negativity gets comforting, it feels like you are protecting yourself. but one cannot see beauty in life and find joy for oneself if one does not make oneself vulnerable.

and so making myself vulnerable is what ive been doing. trying to romanticise this state that im in, a liminal space, at crossroads. its not the most ideal, too many things are unknown and for the first time in my life im dealing with having barely any structure to my days, with nothing to do yet so much i should do.

it took me quite a while to stop lamenting this unknown and start returning to the foundations i built this blog and my entire philosophy off, the whole concept of “lest we die unbloomed” of making sure i dont realise one day ive wasted my time. and in small parts i like to think ive made progress on that

the focus now is the second part. i lost a lot of my attention span and impulse control, and today i reached a horrible point where i am sitting on the kitchen floor at 9 with no dinner, having ruined my microwave dinner out of a lack of common sense. i am not sure if all this recent muddling is because of covid brain fog or the horrifying amount of screen time i have had recently, but i was so sick of it. i have done a lot of things on impulse recently, and though today i had a really fulfilling day spending time with people i havent in a long time, when i got home and im back to reality of the things i havent done and been procrastinating for too long on, i felt horrible. this need to change, i realised.

so this is part two. it calls back to one of the values i set as something important to myself, being honest with myself. i know what im doing now is not working. i know that even though i use my planner im not sticking to it. i know my todo lists are not helping me. then why do i stubbornly stick to methods i know dont work? i told myself a year ago i would not change my system if it doesnt need to be changed. i have forgotten that i need to change it when it does. how silly! so im changing.

so in the last 2 hours in order to get myself up ive written todo lists on paper instead of in my journal. used a timer for every single step from shower to sweeping the floor to brushing my teeth. enough lazing around and letting simple things occupy too much time. its a parkinsons law thing.

enough doomscrolling and opening instagram when i have nothing to do. im setting a limit for a block of time in the day where i am not allowed to use social media, pwrhaps not any internet at all. i need to make drastic change, even if it seems inconsequential. it might not be academic but its personal. and my personal life and what i want to do with my time is worth taking big measures for, because it should be more important than all that revision for exams i used to do.

so the point f this ramble is to clear things out with myself. make some sense of whats goijg on. have a direction. tomorrow i have an interview. ill come home and do the chores i have to. prepare for my afternoon activity. go for lunch and my afternoon appointment. go for a run. buy dinner. write my applications. research on uni stuff. read a book. and all the other tint things i need to give more importance to even though they seem inconsequential. it sa new mantra ive gotten into ever since part one of this. that “this is the way” this is the new way. enough lazing. its time to go hard and be rurhless. take things up a notch because when else can i do it? go big from experiences to measures i have to take to discipline myself. this is the way.

04.04.2023

#productivity #motivation #100 days of productivity #self improvement #student #lifestyle

[a-sip-of-milo]

hi its uhhhhh research to i think i have bpd pipeline person here. idk how else to identify myself because i dont feel comfortable making myself public.

ive been intending to do more research into bpd but its like. hard and not because its hard to find resources, i found stuff on youtube, but its hard to sit down and watch it because its not entertaining enough to put my full attention on, so my mind was wandering and then i wasnt taking in information. and i dont know what to do sob. i only actually watched one video bc i know that other videos are going to be boring to me and that im not going to take in information bc i cant focus.

it was a video about what it was like living w quiet bpd and from the little i remember i was like “yep. sounds like me.” (even tho for the most part i literally cannot remember the video) and when i look at the 9 symptoms, theres 4 i can confidently say i experience, and 4 others that are a maybe, but my memory is shit so i can’t accurately tell by myself which of those symptoms i actually experience.

everytime i think abt having bpd i get upset, but i cant tell if its coming from the root of ableism(?) that me being upset about having disorders usually comes from (wanting to be “normal”) or if its coming from the root of ableism that was people with bpd/npd are inherently bad

i also think i have a favourite person. by think i mean putting the pieces together from other people talking about their favourite people from asks you answer made me realize “oh so thats why im so infatuated by this person and it’s not just being closer to them than my other friends”

Hey! I also find it incredibly difficult to sit through informative videos, so you're not alone there. There's also the issue of "am I going to sit through this entire video just to figure out that it's rooted in ableism" that stops me from getting through them. I prefer written stuff!

When it comes to the internalised ableism (also completely valid, that's not just a personality disorder issue), it could very well be a combination of both. Not only does this mean you're not "normal" anymore, but the disorder that's causing it is something that is often considered inherently bad. That can be a scary realisation to make.

I feel like i've said this before, but you don't need to rush into it. You could be struggling so much with doing research and absorbing information on the subject because your brain has yet to accept that it's okay. This can take time, and the best thing you can do if that's the case is to take a step back from the overwhelming amount of information there is to take in and work on breaking that pattern of thinking, however hard it may be.

Try positive affirmations with yourself. If you happen to recognise a particular kind of behaviour that stems from your BPD, acknowledge that, tell yourself that it's okay and move on. Think about what you'd say to another person who was struggling with the things you're experiencing. Just be kind to yourself.

Don't force yourself to do something that you're not ready for. In the end, it will only make you resent the possibility of having BPD even more and that is far less constructive.

I hope this helps, but also please don't fret if it doesn't or hesitate to tell me that i'm just rambling for no reason/you're not looking for advice. I won't be offended /gen /nm /lh

#ask #bpd #bpd safe #cluster b #cluster b safe #tw internalised ableism