#ive been thinking abt this for so long man

[b4kuch1n]

THEE audiodrama disguised as podcast

#sherlock and co #s&co #sherlock holmes #john watson #mariana ametxazurra #Ive been thinking abt these design SO much lmao. even while doing other things #decided to take cues from acd/granada more. hence sherlock's headband to mimic slicked back hair #and I went with Colors bc. well first of all Im a clown. but second of all I recall some stuff abt victorian fabrics and uh. the wonder of #arsenic green etc #they were enjoying the colors I can commit to some #and. okay Im so real with u Im also a long haired john truther bc he has a podcast of course he'd have long hair but #I think its gonna take a Hot minute. currently this is still like the slightly-grown-out regulation cut #john's jacket is bc he and sherlock are 90s kids. this was a moment of enlightenment to me. I can give john every windbreaker on earth #mariana gets the jean jacket bc I like to imagine she's a y2k kid #(sherlock I think is only 90s kid in year of birth that man's childhood was skipping class to burn shit in the wood) #(but he canonically sews which I fucking love so much. he has not bought new clothes for almost a decade #if a shirt's disintegrating no it isn't. not on his watch) #a lil sad I cant figure out how to give them hats lol I feel like thats the most victorian thing there is. a stupid hat #I can at any moment give one of them a beanie. but I refuse #there are. like a Hoard of other scribbly sketches I did to get used to drawing them. but those are for me those are not for the public #and also theyre in my sketchbook and Im too lazy to scan them #happened mostly during lunar new year lol. I was getting Hard whipped then thank u s&co for carrying me thru #ok I do other things now. have this for a while ok? thank u #have a good night lads. enjoy motion

[rpfisfine]

my friend pisses me off soooooo bad

#i text her first to ask abt how her essay is going wish her luck 2 times and she doesnt even like the message or say anything she just #changes the topic and then leaves me on read. okay #plus shes been getting so weirdly paranoid that im talking shit abt her to other ppl just bc ive finally made some other friends that arent #her after 1.5 years of suffering alone at my uni #(which i seriously to be honest do just bc shes been getting on my nerves with a lot of things lately) #but like man . throughout the 1.5 years that weve been talking to each other we havent progressed enough to call each other by #our first names to get the other to turn around etc i dont think we r close enough for me to abandon the wonderful religious practice of #sometimes discussing the things that your 1 friend does that piss you off with your other friends but then still hanging out with them #not because youre some sort of irredeemably evil two faced motherfucker but because thats just a normal part of having social relationships #mp #like i get that insecurity sucks and its a shitty feeling etc but ive literally dealt with this my whole cringe embarrassing childhood & #teenage years LOL like as long as your friends still make a conscious decision to spend time with u & u have fun together #then i think you dont need to worry. which is what i do so #the sun will rise again tomorrow

[scattered-winter]

horrifying self recognition through the other aside this has been an actually not terrible start to The Family Gathering tbh

#my cousin who i havent really seen in a while came up to me and asked abt my pronouns because i came out to the fam a while ago #and he didnt really remember what id said (which. fair. its a big family w lots of things to remember) #and so he asked what my pronouns were and i told him and he promised that if he ever messed up i needed to make him #do like 5 or 10 pushups lmao #and ngl. its the sweetest thing anyone in this family has ever said to me abt that #everyone else has kinda just. moved on. and either forgotten that im not a girl or purposefully ignoring it. #and idk maybe i should stand up for myself a little more but ive been practically a doormat all my life #and idk. its hard using my voice and establishing boundaries when ive let ppl bulldoze over me for almost 20 years. #sigh. anyway. #im gonna be thinking about that all day tbh it was genuinely so sweet #and i am also being consumed by The Loneliness again <3 #just. i want someone to just talk to about all this??? someone who isnt in my family because they all have stakes in it too????? #we're all grieving. i aint special. #i just want to talk to someone about it in person so they can hold my hand while i cry myself to sleep because ngl #thats what it looks like we're doing tonight #im just. tired of feeling alone in this enormous family where it seems like im the only odd man out #and also ykw the Not Having Any Irl Friends loneliness too. thats also pretty significant. #not saying my internet friends arent great i love yall so so so much but it has just been . #a really really long time since ive had a good cry n hug session w someone. #sigh. im tired i need to go to bed #winter speaks #personal

[miamierre]

.

#i want to write that km prompt that just went up today :/ i cant but i want to #also was thinking abt married pierre n charles and how they spend their first night together. #like obviously they have sex! obviously. they just became a family of their own and theyre both insane abt Family Life #but like. maybe they think that. bc this has been their whole lives. they can pretend like nothing has changed bc really nothing has #all that's changed is that there's now a legal document saying theyre married. everything else feels like it was before. so like. #they try for quiet! and normal. they call it a night after one round. except charles cant sleep even if he's been tired all weekend #and he just. cant stop thinking about that one little change. how pierre is his forever now. how he is pierre's just the same. #pierre is out cold and charles just stares at his sleeping form half the night so full of love for this man here beside him. #eventually pierre wakes up to go pee and charles is half awake (finally sleepy after HOURS) when he comes back to bed #''why are you still awake...husband'' pierre whispers and charles just laughs #covers his face. answers ''i dont know...husband'' just to make pierre laugh. but then gets all soft and serious and confesses #that he's just. thinking about their love. yk? something tender and sentimental. pierre kisses him softly in his sleepy honesty #and they fuck (''make love!!!!'' charles protests later in the morning) again and it's just about the belonging of it all. just to be close #just bc they can and this was always how it was meant 2 b! matching rings for real. a life shared. a love so long-winded it will never end. #wow i watch one (1) scene from a show and go off. i think ive got some pent up insanity to release.

[transngin]

this might be random but do you have any headcanons of the Daltons/lucky luke cause now they are my hyperfixation and yes I've joined a pretty much dead fandom but I was to hear your thoughts.

(only if u want to ofc)

hiiii anon its been. so insanely long since ive thought abt lucky luke and the daltons rotated them in my small brain but i love looove them as a characters so very dearly to this day and id be more than happy to give u. some of my carefully thought out (brainrot induced) thoughts :]

- JOE ADHD KING. no but seriously this fucking guy is so nd and mentally ill in so many ways. hes collecting them like cool rocks (<- im nd and mentally ill (obviously) and have always related to him)

- i know the entire thing abt the daltons is how theyre only distinguished from each other when it comes to height but i love playing around w the idea that they have like. subtle differences in their appearance that you wont notice unless you squint and use a telescope. like william having heterochromia, jack having freckles and joe having beauty marks and whatnot (cant think of anything for averell when it comes to this trope sorry </3)

- aroacespec gay lucky luke is so real and true and my alltime fave sexuality hc. also a little transgenderism for him as a treat. sometimes

- adding to the former: luke telling ppl he got his diy top surgery scars from a brutal shootout

- i dont like the modern daltons cartoon (it kinda sucks) but i really really like how they characterized william in it (bookworm and man of many talents iirc) and i really like the idea of him potentially being a graduate/of higher education but sticking with his brothers out of loyalty/peer pressure (<- potential for him to be the black sheep of his family and give him more character than in the comics and the old cartoons)

- luke and joe's archnemesis relationship oh my GOD [head in hands] ive always loved the multiple layers of their dynamic and the "cool hero who loves toying with the bad guy" vs "batshit crazy unhinged small guy villain" thing they always got going on. lukejoe is so good whether its platonically or romantically or anything in between i still care them so much. funny guys who hate each other fight each other are friends are besties are outlaws kiss kill each other have repressed homosexual feelings have never had friends before killed people with no remorse and have issues. i like that in men

- t4t lukejoe is. so good. perfection

- while im a professional les daltons #hater i love that one guy who showed up for like one episode and was never brought up again except in the bg of some episodes. unlucky luke (small dark haired manloser) if youre out there...

- el gee bee tee hc lightning round:

cis bi (sometimes transmasc) joe [wtf is a pronoun i will kill you], transhet jack [he/him], nonbiney [he/him] william, unlabeled averell [he/she + any] and ofc aroace gay trans luke [he/they]. idc abt other characters enough to form opinions on them

- ill most definitely add to this later if and when i start binging the entirety of ll again but for now. thats all. come get your food lucky luke enjoyers <3 shoutout to the three of you who still enjoy this media despite its many many MANY flaws

#💌; ask #good god its been so long since ive been on here sorry guys #i have a life now thats why #lucky luke #the daltons #idc going in the tags bc i wrote that much and i want the world to see my vision (im right and i should say it) #so nostalgic looking back at the lucky luke posts i made when i was literally 14-15. insane #literally grew up on ll now as an adult i fondly look back on my childhood and teenage years when these fun guys altered my brain chemistry #im still insane abt lukejoe after all these years i think theyre the mlms ever #something something repressed old man yaoi #lukejoe

[pepprs]

last few hours in boston :(

#purrs #conference tag #we literally just got here and now we have to go 😭💔 i havent rly felt as enriched by this conference as i have in the past (though there’s #still 2 more sessions to go to incl the closing plenary and we’re getting lunch in the station before the train ride home) but ive walked #around so much and have spent time with people i love and some people i miss. and have been on adventures i have been looking forward to for #a rly long time though i am kinda bummed i never made it down to fanueil square. but… idk what happiness feels like anymore but maybe for me #it’s just absence of misery and despair. or contented ness. i have gotten a little triggered from time to time these last few days and ive b #been lonely in my hotel room but MAN it has been nice to not be miserable and suffering and to take walks and to not go to every session (ev #even though i do feel bad abt it like i missed 2 plenaries and an afternoon concurrent session which is more than i usually miss) and to #be in this city which feels so much like brighton and so uncity like in some ways. it’s so charming and omg i went to harvard and it was #NOTHING like what i imagined it to be / feel like.. just a quaint artsy quirky town. and the rest of the places ive been have been like that #too. and people LIVE here every day!!!!! there’s a big beautiful world here both above ground and below!!!! and im gonna be late to #breakfast but… i just feel nourished and healed in a way i wasn’t expecting to. I haven’t been this far away from home in 3+ years and #it’s just been really nice being somewhere else and going on adventures and seeing things surviving. i miss my grandparents a lot and im sad #to not be visiting them and to be unable to visit them now lol but it’s just rly nice and special being here. im goingto miss it so much and #im trying to savor every second. i wish we had one more day here and im a little sad to be going home lol #* what i meant when talking about happiness earlier is that i think… i have been happy these last few days. for the first time in a really #really long one. and that’s nice. it’s good to be happy again. and good to be here

[sipsteainanxiety]

ok but imagine telling bkg he's ugly to his face LMFAOOOO

#how can a man be so pretty yet so uglee at the same time #we love him for it tho #if u dont love him at his [insert ugly bkg face here] then u dont deserve him at his [insert pretty bkg face here] #u think he'd be offended? #maybe #'hah??' his upper lip curled over his teeth 'the fuck did u just say t'me??' #or would he just not give a fuck LMFAOO #why would he care abt what some extra thinks #hes here to be a hero not a damn model! #BUT WHAT IF U WERENT JUST SOME EXTRA #i think u'd break his silly little heart if he was crushing on u and u jokingly told him he was ugly LMAO #go to sleep shay it's late o'clock #also no one asked but my socio exam was fine #ive been awake for like #17.5 hrs tho #zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz #hate how my prof tested us on the 50 page readings he gave us but whatev it was okay #i hadnt written an in person exam essay in so LONG it was weird #we were in a big lecture hall too everyone was crammed right next to each other #college weird

[alsoyooraiyah]

i think i can get way faster at making colored paintings if i could just 1) grit my teeth and do it more 2) do a little more planning at the start for the palette

#i didnt really get to draw today bc my wrist told me to chill out but #was thinking abt it since it didnt take v long to do the thing for yesterday? #ive never been good with colors so maybe if i figure out what a good way to do color studies is… #tomorrow its back to being productive and i wanna do probably way too many things in one day re: art but man #i felt like wilting today bc i didnt do anything #rest is productive but also. grrr draw #i have too many ideas to not do anything

[waywardsalt]

thinking abt linebeck’s coat. something very alluring about it for some reason. so im just gonna ramble about it here instead of in the tags for once

you can probably start a fight between the people who think it’s a coat and people who think it’s a jacket but i think it’s a coat moving on

the character designs are interesting to look at due to the proportions and art style so it is hard to imagine how long his coat would be but i think it would go down to a bit above ankles because i think that’s good. it’s a bit more dramatic a bit more impressive(?) that way and would probably lead to problems tbh

based on some of the official art i imagine that the stripe at the bottom might’ve been a late addition since it’s missing in the bit of official art most used to represent linebeck. tbh linebeck is inconsistent in very tiny ways in the official art but that’s mostly if you’re gonna be nit-picky or bored enough to notice

his coat is so good it’s simple but very recognizable and stands out among the other character designs in ph and its just. yknow good character design

its also surprisingly good for headcanons and stuff and because i mostly take a lot of canon as suggestion i have a good handful of headcanons tagged specifically onto his coat (one of which is the length of it ig)

i like to imagine that he made it himself. i’ve seen stuff where people write linebeck as being able to fix link’s tunic when it gets torn and i feel like the logical extreme of that is that he made his own coat. i think that adds a layer of. importance to it? it’s unique it’s solely linebeck’s it’s tied to him because he made it with his own hands and maybe it can represent something about him that way?

i like to imagine that in addition to the normal pockets one the outside he’s got a whole lot of little pockets on the inside of the coat, like so many pockets that he hides little trinkets or tools or things he steals in either to keep or to take back to his ship for whatever reason. some of the pockets have little flaps of whatever they’re called that can be secured in place with a small button to keep stuff in

he’s got like pencils and a compass and little notes and tiny figurines and cool rocks and feathers and all kinds of little things he thought was worth keeping around and due to that his coat is uncomfortable sometimes but if he knows for certain he’s going to be busy doing stuff he’ll empty out all of the pockets and only leave the important stuff so that it’s lighter and less uncomfortable. link finds his coat lying around at some point and is caught so badly off-guard by how surprisingly heavy it is with all of the bullshit he keeps in all of his pockets

i also imagine he values it a lot, maybe to the point of being really possessive and protective of it, not letting link touch it and if it gets torn or stained he shuts down and has to fix it before he can move on to anything else, and if he can’t fix it at the time it leave him kind of overwhelmed or upset until he can fix it. he has a lot stocked-up materials specifically for his coat to avoid a situation where he has to go for while with his coat damaged

backing away from headcanon territory, his coat is just a cool bit of character design and has just been lodged in my mind for a while. its cool and never brought up within the game (obviously) and i guess a last little closing thought is that in the cutscene where oshus teleports link above linebeck it kinda looks like his coat moves when he tries to catch link and i think that’s cool

#afraid of clogging ph tag so ill just tag this as #linebeck #character development not hiding in the tags this time #salty talks #this is how i talk on discord but i fear initiating social interaction so heres this #im in some kind if weird denial ever since that last totk trailer bc i think ive been lowkey constantly overwhelmed ever since seeing it #ugh. i miss linebeck. totk scares me and so does the fact that i cant get myself to be as excited as everyone else seems to be able to be #typing this was painful bc i turned off my autocorrect on my phone a while back bc it fucking sucked and now its like #man i am bad at typing on a phone holy SHIT #coat post thinking about linebeck helps me feel good. also projection he’s my go-to for projection when like anything happens #i imagine his coat as like. a comfort item to some degree. like it’s something he made himself and he’s had it for a very long time #like i have a comfort item or two of my own so its like. yeah i get how it feels to worry about it getting damaged or lost #so within the bounds of my ideas linebeck cares about his coat in a similar manner he does his ship. hes autistic abt both of them #his scarf falls into this category too but that actually has more actual backstory about it bc i can’t be normal about anything about him #still talking in the tags. oh well. im going to snap #i have planned a 17 chapter linebeck backstory. this is not related to that but i feel like its worth just. mentioning #i could probably make his coat represent some aspect of his identity if i wanted. like. maybe its a representation of what he really wants #i keep the coat in most au designs but the two au designs that dont have the coat are where linebeck’s identity is a bit fucked

[crescentfool]

yukari poking fun at ryoji for all of his dumb shit that she captured w/her camera roll? yes!

(loosely inspired by these two hc posts from @/mayormimii, check them out!)

#persona 3 #ryoji mochizuki #yukari takeba #lizzy does art #SO I was originally going to attach this to the ask i just answered but then i realized itd make the post rlly long LOL #and i think for archival reasons itd probs be best to keep it separate ?? lmao idk im overthinking #BUT I DO WANT TO SAY that ive been thinking abt drawing these two since i saw the first batch of hcs #i want to draw more interactions but my inability to come up with ideas is abysmal #so i have decided that as a compromise i will gradually draw concepts/fics from ppl that have stuck in my head for a bit #and also drawing interactions are good for getting efficient LOL. i say that but this was supposed to be b/w. as you can see. its not #this is loosely based/inspired by mayormimii's hc post specifically the designated photo album for ryojis dumb shit #alternatively they could be watching cryptid videos or something together. #i would've drawn what was on the screen but i got LAZY lmao but mayb another day i can draw that #i regret trying to add any sort of dialogue LMAO next time i draw interactions i am just Going to Use Song Lyrics or Fics LMAOO #whenever i get a chance to read fic again i might just go (eyes emoji) to see who royji gets to interact with bc MAN HE DESERVES FRENS... #and i think yukari would b a very good fren to have i am just saying!!! anyway bye these tags are so excessive bc IM me and thats fine

[lanshappycorner]

.

#MANNN so much shit happened today to me and im still thinking abt it even though its probably not that big of a deal #i mean its done and over with and im fine but like #???? i mean im used to people harassing me and stuff in public but ive never had a man straight up try to kill me idk😭 #for context earlier today i was walking home from class and there was a middle aged man kneeling on the sidewalk rummaging thru his backpack #so i walked around him and he suddenly just stood up and grabbed my arm and tried to push me into oncoming traffic #and like i almost fell in and became roadkill but i caught myself in time and got away #and like it probably wasnt that big of a deal but i keep thinking about what wouldve happened if i hadnt reacted in time yknow #im trying to joke abt it whenever i talk to ppl abt it but like when i think abt it for too long i get freaked out #its one thing i think to get verbally harrassed but its another when someone forcefully grabs your arm with the intent to harm you #i can still remember the feeling of being grabbed and its so...ughh its . gross. and very scary #well. it couldve been worse i guess !! ill delete this later i just wanted to dump this here

[robotwrangler]

Thinking about how the lovely person on deviantart who emailed me a copy of Undertale in exchange for a sketch of their oc when I was 15 will never know about the profound effect they had on my life..

#it’s a long story but tldr if not for Undertale I would’ve never heard of Yes Man and without Yes Man I literally wouldn’t be alive rn #I’m sure ive told this story on here before but I like it bc it is important to me #the Undertale to Yes Man pipeline is a very specific thing that happened to me involving 2 different joke blogs on here #there was ‘youcantfuckaskeleton’ (blog abt how nobody should want sans Undertale carnally) #and then I found their other blog ‘youcanfuckarobot’ (blog about. well. I’m sure you get the picture) and I went there for Mettaton posts #but they had some posts there with Yes Man and I was like. that is the most nice looking robot I’ve seen in my life. who is this #and then I forgot abt it for like 3 years and forgot to look him up. UNTIL #DELTARUNE CHAPTER 1.. in 2018.. drove me to revisit those joke blogs for nostalgia #and I saw the yes man pics again and this time I got WAY more curious. I was so so intrigued by him he looked so interesting and cute #so I looked him up and looked at lots of art of him and read his wiki page and I was like. I NEED to meet him #so my big brother got me new vegas as a present on new years and on january 3 2019 I met yes man! #and. I have never understood why or how. but when I woke up the next day my depression was fucking gone #I had severe untreated depression and it just dissolved overnight #nothing else notable happened around that time except for meeting yes man and becoming smitten with him so it seems that’s what did it?? #also those joke blogs are still around I think. i like to revisit them occasionally for the nostalgia of seeing yes man for the first time #but yea anyway what I’m saying is this nice person on deviantart indirectly saved my life #my depression also never came back btw. obviously I feel sad sometimes like anyone but I have not been depressed since then #would’ve been nice if my anxiety went away too but I can at least live with that tbh!! #um anyway I’m sleepy so ending these tags. if you read all of this I love you thank you for caring

[toastsnaffler]

tried going to bed early bc ive just been sitting staring at the wall or my phone all afternoon but it's been 3 hours now and I can't stop crying. :(

#I dont even know why im so fucking sad. this last week has felt like getting hit by a train repeatedly for no reason whatsoever #and it fucking hurts so bad and i cant fix it because i dont know whats wrong!!!!!! #i think thsts why its been so hard sleeping lately like my brain is problem solving but theres nothing there to be solved #and i dont even have anyone to talk to about it and even if i did i wouldnt have anything to say bc i dont know im just fucking. sad #like yeah ive gotten upset abt other things but thats me projecting my mental state onto everything. theres no original cause #unless it really is just pms and some hormonal shit which is likely but kinda insane to think abt. like yeah my body has decided #to flood the entire fucking system with Kill That Egg™ for a straight week except its too effective and makes me want to kill myself also #but apparently not fucking effective enough to start my actual fucking period. yippee #i want a thousand year long hug and to cry rly snottily into someones shirt and then to fall asleep and wake up feeling rested #man. nothing makes me feel any different. exercising and sleeping and socialising and eating and showering and reading #and i can feel my interest in things trickling away like i havent been able to do a lot of shit i rly want to bc of this barrier #and ive been trying to make myself do some things regardless bc inactivity will just make it worse. but nothing works!!!!!!! #i dont even know anymore man. i do everything right and im still as depressed as i was like 8 years ago #and i know thats just the depressed brain talking like i know i dont constantly feel like this but its hard to see outside of it man #u spend ur whole life drowning but its ok bc sometimes u get ur head above the surface long enough to take a breath or whatever #insert overused mentally ill metaphor here etcetcetc #ok i think ive run out of things to say im gonna try sleep again. day 1 billion of making longass vent posts sorry everyone #gn #.vent

[devildairymilkfairy]

.

#man im really tired of having feelings for him. i should really just keep my distance and go back to dating apps #i long for the connection we have and hate having to build up something brand new #but im really tired of feeling butt hurt everytime he sleeps with our roommate #like yeah we broke up over a year ago. and still casually do shuff. its just hard for me to turn off that side of my brain #i just want to feel loved and be held by someone without having to build the foundation all over again #ive been depressed the past few days because of it. i act irrationally and cant control my feelings #overall its better if i just let them fuck around and i try to find someone new. only problem is im anxious and not a good conversationalist #plus i hate messaging people over phone. too much anxiety abt what im saying and if the other person enjoys me or not #anyways it sucks seeing the subtle evidence that they went at it while i was away. i have no right to be upset but i cant help but think of #him as more than a friend. i cant and shouldnt but we had dated 6 years previously. its a bit difficult to turn that switch off now #dammit i guess tonight im gonna sleep alone again and try not to cry. whatever gotta get over myself and move on. have to stop only thinking #of my self and being so damn possessive all the time #ash rambles #fuck i feel worse now after typing all that out yippee..

[spectralpooch]

feeling genuine dread over blackbird again ;_;

#not bc i think itll be bad or anything its just. #potential of new eich/wtru/wtei lore #and also selfish reasons of not wanting my fanfic to get beaten to the punch w (scene) and (scene) #and ik its silly but man i just feel sick when i think too hard abt it #its like. info ive wanted to know since 2016. but also its been so long since then that im afraid any canon answer - #wont live up to my personal hcs... and i dont wanna be disappointed i wish i could just be excited #so heres hoping its abt mugi :)