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#ive been talking a lot of shit about his current arc but i sure am still writing about him huh
wildcatofgreen · 1 year
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🌻🌻🌻
new ask game send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the fuck i want
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((1. after using the new post editor vs the old post editor and switching back and forth between them on my blogs, i gotta say! old post editor fucks
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((though the new post editor has a TON of QoL changes that elevator to more of an equal status ((like, being able to tell when a special thing like italics starts and stops is a fucking amazing feature and i wish it was on the old post editor ((or being able to edit tags, or being able to make text BIG or BIGGER, or things like that
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((but running with the old post editor for a while on the qkd blog has brought about some really funny/interesting bits!
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((this gimmick is really fun. it feels like ive been running the blog for months but its only been less than one. i love that blog
((2. speaking of--if things havent been obvious so far, then lemme say it outright right now ((i am going through the entirety of poppy's story on that blog, pre-poppy to... an ending, of sorts ((which means events will just sort of happen over there, in slight congruence to when they happened in poppy. such aaaaaaaaas
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((this whole thing! in fact, it's happening in a thread right now~.
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((at the end of arcs/events i plan on tagging all of the previous posts that took place in that event as like... a relevant tag, so that i might chrono them and maybe my things can be read as a sort of story. this is... going to be a pain. but! i am incredibly committed to all of this now. i am excited. things are going to fucking happen.
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((uh, sorry for all the kit-blog talk. i am just kind of. really excited for that blog! i have this base guideline already set for me to follow and i get to explore how this MF goes through the entirety of what-we-know in poppy. including somee other things that are at play because of the nature of just. knowing more than my characters know
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((having characters like lila and chicadino just making funni appearances this early into the story is just so much fun you dont even know.
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((sidenote bonus thing but i really want chicadino to interact with @/fallen-symphony crew because like. he's a villain, with an outrageous lucky star at that. it'd be REALLY FUCKING FUN. i wanna do arthur interactions IN GENERAL, REALLY
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((but alas. there is literally no conceivable way i could approach first about this without majorly breaking things and his knowledge on the world rn. his little birdy would not know about multiverse theory (yet).
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((3. im thinking of like, making some slight changes on this blog? to save myself the sanity? but i dont know how. ((i aint stoppin' playing carol--i love this dumbass just as much as i love kit ((but man oh man i look at the amount of threads i have on here versus the amount i have on kit and its like
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((well of course im over there more--i can actually count the things i have to do over there. and one of them finished! and another one has a finish line i can conceivably get to! cant say much for the other threads but im sure a finish line can be gotten.
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((i do feel bad that activity has waned over here. again, carol has a lot of shit still happening and a lot of things i still havent properly addressed. the ideas are in my head, its just ((pen has to touch paper, y'know? that's it, that's all it is. i dont wanna take on new threads here because i get this anxiety that its just gonna stall me from actually doing things. i already have important threads that do need to get finished that i simply havent touched in like, weeks.
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((maybe i just need to find these threads and hyper focus on them and then like, one or two more things. have something that can keep my sanity, well, sane. because otherwise it is going to be very hard for me to keep up things over here.
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((i pray that this same issue doesnt occur on qkd. ive been thinking about implementing a thread cap of sorts, just so the overwhelming thing doesnt happen.
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((still need to think about things tho. my mind is being RACKED as of current.))
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confused-stars · 3 years
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writing from the pov of a deeply problematic character without pretending they're not is an exercise i think would be helpful for a lot of people in fandom tbh
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dukeofonions · 3 years
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hi so i.found ur blog and its honestly like a breath of fresh air to look at so if its ok i might just fuckin,,vent here.
so. ik a lot of other people have been talking abt how pof was really straining to watch and i am.very late to the party but i need to talk abt it bcz holy fuck. when i first watched it i was in a way better place mwntally, also the general excitement of wow,content kinda overrode the headache and the eye hurty and the just. bad. but i was rewatching it recently because i was basing a fic off it and i just. i couldnt finish it because all of it was just so much and there was no fuckin warning?? so that was pog ig
next thing because i have. a lot of thoughts. ive been in the fandom for not-very-long, i joined in the middle of 2019 or something.and it just kinda sucks because im only still here for the fandom. i love the series but i can only watch dwit and compilations of logan/roman being sad so much before i can basically recite them off the top of my head. but i reallyreally love writing for the fandom!! it makes me so happy to do the writing, its just the fact that im not as invested with the series that makes me feel,,idk man guilty ig?? anyway thats too deep for a rant so im.a move on
god so tw me not liking post aa virgil and me talking abt toxic friends but hoooly fuck man. i just. pre aa virgil was fun because he was snarky and sarcastic and i could actually stand the nagst because his character made sense?? he was the 'bad guy' and he wasnt as woobified back then and he was honestly a solid vibe. but post aa virgil gives off the vibe of that one friend who fuckin, gets angry at you when you bring up any of your mental health issues and then blames their outburst on their mental health issuea and its like?? no i hate that character dynamic. people say bad things when the feel bad, sure, ik i have, but its the vibe of 'im gonna threaten you and then blame it on my mental health but if you so much as look at me wrong while ur having sensory overload or something i will smite you with the force of one thousand suns' and i am just.so tired. also ithink someone else said this but we should just call the series 'virgil sanders and the rest' because thats what it is now ksbdjqkbsq
also (all ofthese are my opinions btw and im not trying to say im rigbt im just tired honestly) the way. in pof the way patton's whole thing is 'you need empathy' is not funky fresh for both people with low empathy and high empathy 😎 bcz ppl with too much/too little empathy are always told theyre 'cold' or that theyre 'oversensitive', the whole 'there is an average amount of empathy and if u dont have that fuck you actually' is icky and bad and gross. i do think patton's character is really well done in the series but that episode jjust personally. ick.
and finally the moment uve not been waiting for bcz this is probably really tiring to read but the moment youve been waiting for-fwsa.just. why. its cute and stuff and i love nico. nico is a vibe. also bathroom man john is great. but shouldnt roman still be on shit terms with thomas?? like lk we're just gonna sweep away the whole 'i thought i wad ur hero' shizz? cool cool, glad to know romans arc still aint happening. also i get it, we needed to cement that virgil is a light side now. but like..did we?? actually bcz this is so long im gonna send in a second ask (im sososorry if this clogs up ur ask box if u tell me to stop i will i just. many thoughts) abt how even though i hate virgil, his arc should have been done. so differently. just gonna put like,, a mushroom emoji here so u can put the 2 asks together if u want 🍄
You’re always free to vent here! Sorry it took so long to respond but life has a cruel habit of getting in the way of things I need to do. 
So for starters, the POF problem should be talked about more so I can assure you that you’re not late to the party. It never really got the amount of attention it deserved so I am more than willing to bring that back up and trust me, you’re not alone. 
And again, you’re not alone in this either! Plenty of people still enjoy creating content for these characters. You don’t have to feel guilty for not finding the actual series interesting because honestly, I’m kinda losing interest too. But I still love these characters and I love that the fandom is still creating stories with them through different mediums.
Honestly I agree with just about everything you said about Virgil and I do eventually plan on tackling a lot of this in a future post. You know, if I ever force myself to just sit down and write the dang thing... 
Oh my gosh I’ve been waiting for someone to talk about this because that whole thing about empathy in POF really ticked me off because you’re absolutely right, not everyone is 100% empathetic, and some people can be empathetic to a point where it hurts themselves. Like I get what they were trying to say but it came across as, well, like you said. “If you’re don’t have this exact level of empathy then eff you I guess you’re a bad person.” Maybe that actually wasn’t their intention but it sure came across that way and maybe I’ll go into it a little more in another post because now that I’ve been reminded of it again I kinda wanna talk about it more. 
Okay yes, FWSA on its own is a good episode. Heck, it’s one of my favorites. It feels closer to a season one episode than ATHD that’s for sure. The problem with this episode isn’t the quality but the fact that it comes right after POF. And I’ve basically gone over this in my “Problem With Asides” post and how it affects both Roman and Virgil’s current arcs so I won’t go into much more detail here but just know that I pretty much agree with all of this. 
Also don’t worry about cluttering up my inbox. It’s here for people to share their thoughts and that’s exactly what you’re doing! Hope to see your part two soon mushroom anon! 
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agapantoblu · 6 years
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ah!!! the baby twinyards pieces are both so nice :'))) you s u r e you don't want to make a series out of this? ;;)) i really like how you write the twins and nicky! the finger grabbing scenes are particularly cute; i wish that had been their childhood instead of canon (sorry abt the rambling it's 4am here oops) lots of love!
I’m still not making this on-going, but you assholes know how weak I am to kid fics…
Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV - Part V - Part VI - Part VII - Part VIII | Next Arc
When he took them both in, Nicky had just assumed Andrew was shy. it was a logic conclusion for a kid that didn’t speak and rarely initiated any kind of interaction with anyone except his brother.
Almost a full year in, though, Nicky has to change his mind. Andrew is touchy. He’s just very picky about who he deems worthy of his affection, just as he is with all his snacks and his ice-creams and his plushes.
As the twins approach seven far too fast for Nicky’s brain to comprehend, Andrew decides that Nicky is not only safe but his. And showing so implies, in Andrew Speak, lots of physical touch. Nicky could be cooking and suddenly find himself with a kid attached to his leg, koala-style. Or he might be reading to Aaron on the floor and feel Andrew wriggle himself against his back or side to curl down and take a nap. Erik’s presence at the house happens more often than not, just like Nicky finding himself with a lapful of kid well past bedtime as he and his boyfriend try to watch a movie on the couch.
He won’t lie, after spending the first three months half convinced Andrew hated him, he is ready to burst out with happiness at the development.
Also, much like everything else, Aaron has a tendency to either copy or try to one-up his brother in anything he does, so Nicky has found himself in the middle of a squabble more than once.
School started with the expected bumps along the road. Andrew was an indifferent asshole, Aaron was a sassy asshole, and Nicky had met the principal in his office before the first week was even over. Talking about good beginnings. Erik bought them all take-out tacos to try and lift the morale after Nicky had to try and deliver his first I’m disappointed speech. Which didn’t go well at all, because neither of the kids fell for it.
After that, though, and a long discussion of what made the kids uncomfortable, why, and how to ask other kids not to do it, things seemed to go a bit better. Aaron was eventually won over by the science books and promises of collecting leaves and growing plants, while Andrew started to hide himself in Nicky’s room to steal his picture-less books and practice his reading.
And then, the unthinkable happens.
Nicky doesn’t immediately register. It’s been just another shitty day and he’s cooking Mexican food for lunch to keep up his own morale, so he has to make sure the things he uses for cooking the adults’ stuff don’t touch the kids’. The twins are highly affronted by spicy food and there is no need for a repeat of last time’s three hours of crying.
It takes the muffled sounds of slammed things to make him look up from the stove.
Roland shows up on the kitchen door immediately after and with an apologetic expression. “We have a situation,” he claims, and for a moment Nicky fears all kinds of worst. “The twins were in a fight.”
Which doesn’t mean it’s not a bad thing, really, just that it’s such an ingrained part of their routine that Nicky only sighs heavily. He will get white hair prematurely, this way. He takes a deep breath. “With whom?”
Roland makes a face. “That’s the situation: with each other.”
Excuse me, fucking what? What?! “Wait. Aaron fought with Andrew? Andrew fought with Aaron? Those twins?“
Roland nods, and to his credit doesn’t roll his eyes to Nicky’s obvious freak-out. “I didn’t know what to do with them. They refused to talk to each other the whole ride home, they watched out of the windows and wouldn’t even hold my hands. The teacher said they had to be separated because they kept trying to ruin each other’s notebooks.”
Holy shit. That looks serious. That looks far too serious for two kids, what the heck, Nicky never planned for a Twinyard War! 
“Okay,” he lies, mostly to himself. “Okay, uh… What about you, uh, take some food for you and your boyfriend? Meanwhile, I’ll… just… try to fix that. Yeah.”
Roland’s eyebrow arches delicately. “You sure you don’t need me any longer? I can call and say I’ll be late.”
Tempting offer, very much so, but Roland has been staying overtime — unpaid, bless his heart, because Nicky couldn’t afford any more — to help the kids study as Nicky ran all over the place after the mess at Sweetie’s. Angela was caught dealing drugs to the clients and, though he had nothing to do with that, Nicky had to leave the place as fast as he could and find another job to avoid having the twins taken by the social services.
Currently, it seems that nobody has a spot open for a gay guy of barely twenty, with no college degree but a set of twins to look after.
Nicky keeps budgeting and re-budgeting, but there’s no getting around the fact that all the shifts at Eden’s wouldn’t give him the money to raise two kids and pay for rent and food and bills. If he doesn’t find anything soon, he’ll have to cave and accept Erik’s help, which has been offered and refused too many times already, at the price of many fights.
Nicky just can’t let Erik get tangled into this. It’s his family, his problems, and Erik should be free to walk away whenever he wants, not feeling like he has to provide for children who aren’t even related to him in any way. They have been in a relationship for barely three months and Nicky hadn’t even allowed him to sleep over yet.
Stop. Not now. Focus.
Right, the twins.
He forces himself to smile to Roland, who’s staring at him with a worried frown. Jesus, he doesn’t even look nineteen. “Nah, I’ve got it. Just go and take a break, okay? And be careful.”
If Roland rolls his eyes at the over-care, Nicky elects to ignore it. Instead, he marches out of the kitchen and to the twins’ room to try and figure out what nuclear bomb exploded there.
It’s worse than he’d expected, because he comes to the room to find Aaron sitting on the floor, facing a corner and with a book on his lap as he reads under his breath, while Andrew is sitting on the floor on the very other side of the room, keeping the twin beds between himself and his brother, and is staring out of the window. Shit.
“Alright,” Nicky says, announcing his presence and crossing his arms in front of his chest. “What bit you? Something poisonous, by the look of it.”
Andrew ignores him. Great. Aaron turns just to glare at his attempt. “Drew is being a meanie and I hate him!”
“Hey, no, we don’t use those words, okay? We don’t tell our family we hate them,” which is the biggest hypocrisy he’s ever told ever since he took the kids in, holy shit, wow. He’s a disaster alright. “Why would you say that?”
Walking closer to the beds, though keeping in the middle because right now showing any kind of favoritism would make the whole thing worse, Nicky can notice Aaron is sniffling. Immediately as he gets to the beds, the twin abandons his book to climb on his mattress and point an accusing finger to his brother. “He pushed Kat away!”
Nicky has no idea who Kat is, but this sounds like an old story he was really hoping he could consider closed. He turns to the window, just to find that Andrew has turned lazily to them and is now glaring to his brother. A true glare, a mean one, not the default glare of when he’s just thinking.
Not good. “Andrew, is it true?”
Andrew’s eyes raise to Nicky’s with defiance. “She wasn’t part of the promise. He broke it.”
Nicky frowned. Promise?
Aaron grabbed his pillow, just to slam it on the bed. “This is not fair! I like Kat! I like to play with Kat! You can’t send her away!”
“And you can’t break your promise!” Andrew yells back, voice rising as his brother’s does.
“It was a dumb promise anyway!”
“’t was not dumb!”
“Was too!”
“Was not!”
“Was too!”
“Was—“
“Alright, that’s enough!” Nicky doesn’t yell, just because he’s conditioned not to by now. The twins’ knee-jerk reaction to adults yelling is to hide somewhere for hours on end and Nicky’s gotten too many heart attacks already from the days with the divorcing couple of neighbors. But he keeps his voice firm when he levels both kids with a serious look. “Andrew, can you come on the bed too? We’re going to talk this out quietly.”
Aaron scoffs but falls back to sit on his heels and hugs his pillow to the chest. Andrew glares and glares some more before finally complying and getting on his own bed.
The beds used to have a space of a foot or some between them when they moved in, but the twins kept slipping into each other’s because they couldn’t stand the distance, so Nicky pushed them close to make a double-sized. He can’t believe the difference, right now.
“Okay,” he starts, taking his socks off to sit legs crossed at the end of the mattresses. “Let’s start from the beginning. Who is Kat?”
Andrew’s scowl worsens. “Classmate,” he mutters. “She’s annoying.”
“She’s not!”
“Andrew, be nice.” Nicky can feel the migraine growing, oh, he can feel it well. “So, she’s a classmate of yours. And Aaron, you like playing with Kat?”
Aaron is not a social kid. Up until now, he’d seemed content just following and imitating Andrew. Now, though, he nods shyly. He seems to hesitate for a moment, considering Nicky in his full height, before muttering, “She helps me with math when the teacher isn’t looking.”
Adorable, Nicky would swear. “That’s great, Aaron. I’m happy you found a new friend.” Carefully, he turns to Andrew. “Why would you push her? Aaron likes her. You should be nice with your brother’s friends.”
Again, Andrew glares. “No.”
Not a temper tantrum, please, not a temper tantrum. “Andrew, that’s not right. How would you feel if Aaron were to push your friends, uh?”
Andrew barely blinks. “No.“
Before Nicky can react, Aaron jumps on his feet on the bed. “You don’t care because you don’t even have any friends! Because you’re mean and weird!”
“Aaron!” Nicky tries to grab him, but Aaron’s faster and runs off the bed and out of the room. “Aaron, come back here! Aaron!”
New architectural rule: door handles should be placed high enough that upset six years old can’t reach them. But it’s clear that whoever built his door didn’t have kids quite like the twins. 
Nicky’s heart skips a beat as he skids on the floor, bare-foot, and sees Aaron open the door that Roland didn’t lock when he left. He’s got visions, in a fraction of a second, of Aaron getting outside, maybe downstairs, maybe in the street and what if he gets driven over or maybe kidnapped by some creep or maybe he gets lost and Nicky can’t find him anywhere and—
“Oh!” Erik says, calm and collected as if he wasn’t just met with a door slammed open and a kid launched straight into his legs. Actually, he just picks Aaron up as if nothing and looks surprised when he notices his distress. “Woah. Am I that late for lunch?”
Nicky could kiss him. He could kiss him any day, any time, but especially right now. Erik, unaware, walks in and closes the door behind himself. Aaron stays dazed just for a moment more before he starts yelling and trashing in the hold.
Thank fuck, Nicky manages not to say out loud. Instead, he holds his arms out as he approaches and Erik meekly hands the kid over. “Alright, okay, okay—“ Maybe he’s not there yet, his heart’s beating too fast. “I can— I swear I can take it from here, I promise, just— Aaron, stop trashing, would you?!”
Erik looks at them for a second, watches Nicky getting his nose almost broken by a flying elbow, and then nods. “I’ll go say hi to Andrew, yes? Is he in their room?”
Nicky barely manages to answer, too busy wrestling with a demonic kid, and when he finally manages to sit on the couch with Aaron held flushed against his chest, adult arms wrapped around his body to keep him still, the living room is empty. Nicky can’t see his face, as he’s turned to the TV, but he feels the remnant attempts at slipping away getting weaker and weaker until all that’s left are the shakes from withheld sobs.
Okay. Nicky can’t do this, but he’ll have to anyway.
He calls Aaron name slowly. Aaron wriggles some more. Nicky can keep him still with a single arm, so he moves the other to the top of his head, gently caressing the hair there. Aaron stills, screeches and then, finally, bursts out crying.
“Alright, buddy, let it out,” Nicky mutters, knowing better than to try and shush a kid in such anguish. “Cry all you need and then we can talk some more, no running away this time.”
Aaron cries until he’s spent, which means less than five minutes, luckily. When he seems done, Nicky represses a mental sigh and uses his own sleeve to wipe his face from the snot. Ugh. “You ready to talk to me?”
“I want friends!” Aaron sobs, waterworks opening once again. “But Andrew scares everybody away and now they all hate me!”
“Oh, bud, I’m sure they don’t hate you. Kat can’t hate you, right? She helps you out.”
“But Andrew pushed her and now she won’t want to talk to me anymore!”
“You can’t know that. And if she’s smart enough to know math, I’m sure she’s smart enough not to blame you for something your brother did, okay? What do you think?” Aaron sniffles. It’s not an answer, but Nicky will take the lack of utter denial as a reluctant assent. Now, “Aaron? What is this promise Andrew was talking about, before?”
This time, Nicky can feel Aaron stiffening in his arms. He tries to maneuver the kid in his lap so he’s sitting sideways and they can look at each others in the face. There’s some more snot to clean away and, oh, this shirt is so going to the laundry basket as soon as he’s defused the situation, alright.
He tries again. “Aaron, we talked about keeping secrets, remember? You shouldn’t keep things that scare or hurt you from me. I promise I won’t get mad, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Even red-rimmed as they are, Aaron has the audacity to roll his eyes, as if the idea of Nicky getting mad is too far fetched for even his six-year-old brain to believe. Nicky can’t find it in himself to be offended. “’t’s an old thing. ‘bout mom.”
Oh. Okay, this is bad. This is a hundred percent surely bad. “What exactly?”
“‘Drew and I promised to be together forever. ‘gainst the world or whatever.” Aaron mutters the words as if they’re not a big deal, as if eternity was just a given thing when it came to him and his brother. Nicky thinks that they had to be, what?, four or five?, when they made such a promise. It blows his mind, the unbreakable devotion in that simple thing. “He says Kat’s gonna be like mom.”
Nicky knows there’s no way a six year old is as abusive as the twins’ mom, but the words still send a chill down his spine. It takes him a bit to place his thoughts in a coherent stream again. “I see. So, Andrew is afraid Kat will hurt you?”
“No, he’s— He’s just— He’s a meanie!”
Nicky arches a brow before he can stop himself. “Buddy, Andrew is in the wrong when he pushes Kat, but you and I both know so are you when you call him names. And say mean things about him, like that he’s weird. That was really rude, you know.”
Luckily, Aaron blushes and looks appropriately chastised, because Nicky wouldn’t have known how to send the message across otherwise. As it is, he says, “I’ll talk to him, okay? We’ll solve this.” 
Aaron nods, then shakes some more as his body tries to stop crying, and Nicky hugs him thigh.
He remembers when the twins were born. When Luther told him, and then said he was not allowed to ever meet them. Why?!, he’d asked, and his father had looked at him with disgust written all over his face. You know why, Nicholas, his mother had piped in, voice strained, until you’re healed, we can’t risk you hurting or corrupting the kids. They already were so unlucky to be born as it is.
Yeah, that had been a shitty week.
Now, he hugs Aaron and draws circles on his back to calm him down and mulls it for a while longer before adding a post-it to his speech. “You know, buddy, I’m an only child, so I don’t really know how it feels to have a sibling, but-” no, fuck, Nicky, not crying right now! “-but sometimes when I was really, really sad, and there was nobody there for me, I really wished I had a big brother who’d look out for me, you know?”
Aaron doesn’t answer for a long while and Nicky lets him, because this isn’t really something that’s supposed to be realized in five minutes. Instead, he smiles as he dries wet cheeks once again. “Enough crying, now, it’s time for lunch. We didn’t invite Erik over to let him starve, did we?”
He sends Aaron to wash his face mostly because he needs a moment to exhale and think the whole mess over.
So, Andrew doesn’t trust the girl around Aaron. Andrew thinks their promise means the two of them against the world or something and nobody else is allowed in. Nicky promised to solve this.
Fucking great idea, you dumbass.
No time to regret, though, because Erik is alone with Andrew and Nicky is ninety-nine percent sure the only reason there hasn’t been any more yelling is because Andrew still has some kind of quite-crush going, despite the ice-cream disappointment of a few months ago.
Nicky is almost walking in when he hears laughter from the door. Laughter. And not any laughter, Andrew’s laughter.
What the fuck. What the fuck, it took him eight months to get Andrew to laugh with him!
“It’s true,” Erik says now and Nicky should probably not eavesdrop but Nicky is also absolutely going to eavesdrop. “I love my sister, so of course I get jealous when she talks about her school friends endlessly. Especially now that I’m so far away, it’s easy to worry that she might forget about me and just find someone else to be best friends with in Germany. It happens all the time, Andrew, I promise. But the thing is, a friend is something and a sibling is another. Aaron will find other friends, as he should because we’re all humans and we need many other people with us to be happy. But you’re always going to be his brother, and there’s no substituting you. And he’ll always be yours. And both of you will always know that if something ever happens, even if everyone else in the world turns their back on you, you’ll have each others to count on. How does that sound?”
“Complicated,” Andrew mutters from inside, probably just to be contrary because he’s just that much of a little shit. Which is a term of endearment, of course. “I still don’t like Kat.”
“And that’s fine,” Erik says. “You don’t have to like her. Just because you and Aaron are twins, it doesn’t mean you have to like the same things and the same people. You just have to trust your brother to tell you if he ever needs your help. And I know he will because he did when he got his plush stuck in the jungle gym, didn’t he? He told you. Not even Nicky, you.”
Okay, this sounds like enough and Nicky needs to physically restrain himself from crying as he knocks on the frame of the door.
Immediately, both the blond adult and the blond kid look up to him, and Nicky indulges himself for a second in a fantasy where Erik is the twin’s father and they never had to go through all the shit that happened. He smiles. “Can we talk this through some more with our bellies full?”
Erik laughs, and standing he ruffles Andrew’s hair with a hand. Nicky can see his kid blushing red in the cheeks and almost coos at the sight. “Sounds like a good idea. Shall we go?”
That’s not to say all is solved, but Aaron mutters a low apology for his words and Andrew mutters his own, though Nicky doesn’t miss how he doesn’t specify what exactly he is sorry about. He’ll take his victories where he gets them, though.
They eat and play games and all it takes is Nicky and Erik teaming up in a savage game of tag for the twins to fall back into a unite force once again, so all is more or less well.
Nicky watches Erik blowing a raspberry into Aaron’s stomach and Andrew jumping on his back to force him to release the prisoner and he thinks, okay, maybe it is fixed.
***
Then Erik has to open his mouth when he’s getting ready to leave, deep in the afternoon before Nicky has to prepare the kids and head over to Eden’s.
“Why don’t you invite Kat for a playdate?” he says, like it’s all that fucking easy.
Andrew’s good mood sours immediately, Aaron’s eyes widens as if he’s suddenly faced with the gingerbread house of the witch who eats children and Nicky can feel his blood freeze in his veins at all the possible scenarios.
Erik blinks at the sudden coldness. “Or not? I guess?”
Nicky wishes he could say no, but his brain already registered it and he knows, deep inside, under layers of denial, that this could be the only responsible plan.
And, Jesus, how he hates being a responsible adult.
***
Kat, actually Katelyn, is a lovely girl with blond hair pulled in ponytails and a huge smile with a missing front tooth. She’s the poster child of every TV spot which contains a perfect family and Nicky is in adoration of her blue salopette with a rainbow on the front and for how she’s almost twice as tall as the twins despite being the same age.
Her mom is also the sweetest thing and she doesn’t even blink when Nicky corrects her, he’s not Mr. Minyard actually, he’s Hemmick, not even Mr. Hemmick, actually just Nicky is fine, he’s not really fond of his own family name anyway. She just nods and smiles and asks him to call her Abby.
“Abby, then. Well, I’m really sorry for Andrew’s behavior,” Nicky begins, far too conscious about how Andrew’s hand is pulling in his grip, trying to get away. He keeps it, though he tries not to hold too tight. “I’ve been told he apologized in class?”
“He did,” Abby nods, still smiling. “It’s quite alright. I bet twins bring siblings jealousy to an whole different level, don’t they?”
If only you knew. “Yeah, well, I just wanted to apologize too. And maybe invite Katelyn over one afternoon? Aaron says she’s his saving grace when it comes to math and I guess I owe her at least an ice-cream for helping him out.”
Abby laughs, a kind laughter that makes Nicky’s tense shoulders drop a bit, and she keeps smiling as she looks down at her daughter, distracting her from the deep discussion she’d been in with Aaron, on Nicky’s other side from his brother. “What do you say, girl?” she asks, “Want to go over at Aaron’s place sometimes?”
Katelyn lights up like she’s just been given the greatest gift. Nicky is pretty sure everybody in the school courtyard hears her “Yes!”
“Alright,” Abby cheers. Nicky already loves her. “When were you thinking about doing it?”
Nicky can’t exactly tell her he’s free every day until he hears back from one of the twenty places he applied to. “Tomorrow afternoon, maybe?”
Abby tilts her head to the side. “Tomorrow,” she says, frowning.
“Is that not a good day? We can do another time, of course,” Nicky hurries to say, but Abby just shakes her head.
“Oh no, that’s not it, I was just trying to juggle things around mentally.” She bites her lower lip, looking a bit embarrassed. “Actually, I really hope I’m not overstepping my boundaries, here, but I’m a bit in a pinch. Katelyn’s step-brother doesn’t have practice tomorrow and I’m on shift at the clinic. My husband was supposed to come pick them both up but he’ll have to take time off from his coffee shop and they’re waiting for a delivery, so he’s a bit struggling too. I understand and, please, don’t hesitate in telling me off if it’s too much of a bother, but would it be a problem if my other kid were to come over too? It’s okay if he can’t! I understand! It was just—“
“Oh, no, it’s not a problem!” Nicky hurries to say, before he remembers what kind of kids he actually has. Damn. “I guess? Guys?”
Aaron is just too enthusiast and he keeps nodding. Andrew tilts his head to a side with his thinking frown. “Kevin,” he says, monotone.
“Oh, yes, his name is Kevin,” Abby says, looking pleasantly surprised. “You know him? He’s a bit older than you three.”
Andrew’s face goes slack. Nicky readies himself for the explosion, but gets surprised when all the kid does is nodding. “He can come.”
Woah. Who is this kid who got Andrew’s approval? What the fuck.
“Great!” Abby smiles, almost like she found perfectly normal that Nicky left the decision over to his kid. “Thank you so much, guys, you really saved me there.”
Nicky forgot he was included in the conversation, for a moment. “Uh? Oh, right! Of course! It’s no big deal!”
Abby and Katelyn leave while waving at them politely and Nicky holds on the twins’ hands and thinks, please, Lord, don’t fuck me over now.
***
Kevin is… intense. Nicky never expected to say it about another kid after living with Andrew and Aaron, but, damn, the child is probably just a shrunk up adult. It’s the only logic explanation because what kid on Earth would turn down ice-cream for a fruit bowl because of nutritional values? Dude, Nicky is an adult and he has no idea what this mini-person is talking about.
Aaron and Katelyn seem happy to share a bowl of cheesecake ice-cream, at least, and coloring a book on the carpet in the living room, so they’re well.
Kevin was all set once Nicky gave him permission to watch the game of Exy running on TV. All it takes to keep him entertained is a question every now and then and the kid can talk for full hours, he’s a true sport fanatic. Nicky admits that’s kind of endearing.
The only problem, really, is Andrew. He keeps staring at Kevin and Nicky would swear he has not blinked once ever since the kid arrived. He hates to use the same word Aaron did in his tantrum, but that really is weird.
“Andrew, can you help me get the empty bowls to the kitchen?” It’s a weak excuse, he knows, but Andrew is smart and knows Nicky well enough to recognize his tactic of getting a one-on-one talk, so he obeys meekly.
Aaron gives him a look, almost worried, but Andrew passes him by and he goes back to coloring. Kevin looks down at him and his sister with some kind of longing, and Nicky wonders how long before he asks to be included.
In the kitchen, he lifts Andrew to sit on the table top before he takes a chair for himself. He noticed Andrew doesn’t deal well with being boxed in and he actually seems more relaxed when he has an advantaged position to his interlocutor. “What’s going on?”
Andrew outstretches his hand and Nicky obliges him, offering his open palm so he can snatch the middle finger and play with it. And doesn’t that say something about the little shit’s personality. “Kevin’s wrist is broken.”
Nicky noticed. Even if Kevin hadn’t told them about it, it would be kinda hard to miss the cast around the kid’s left wrist. It looked new, if nothing else because it was still pristine white and empty of the drawings and names kids usually cover those things with. “Yeah, he got hurt playing Exy, remember that he told us?”
And speaking of, what parent lets a kid so little play such a violent sport? What if he got hurt in the head? Nicky has been on the receiving end of too many unwarranted judgements to start doing to same to other people, but, damn, that sport was fucking dangerous for adults too! Abby sounded so sweet, though, so—
“He didn’t.”
Nicky blinked. Fucking, “what?”
Andrew was frowning harder now, staring at Nicky’s finger and nothing else. “He lied. I saw it from the window. Riko did it, but the teacher didn’t listen to me.”
Nicky feels blown away. “Who is Riko?”
“Kevin’s best friend. They were playing Exy in the courtyard at recess. Riko got mad and pushed Kevin down, then he hit him with his racquet.”
Oh, shit. Why did all these things happen all to Nicky, sweet mother of— Oh, come on, no. “Why didn’t you tell anyone? When did it happen?”
“Eight days ago,” Andrew says, and then shrugs. “I told the teacher but Kevin said Riko hit him while they were playing Exy and that it was an accident.”
Nicky’s brain is fried now, and all he can think is a buzzing static. “And you’re a hundred percent sure that’s now what happened? Couldn’t it be you didn’t see well?”
This time, Andrew looks up from Nicky’s fingers and actually lets them go. “No,” he says, cold. “Riko hit him on purpose. He was trying to hit him in the face but Kevin covered up like this,—“ Nicky watches, abashed, as Andrew uses both arms to shield his face. “—and he hurt his arm instead.”
What. The. Fuck. That’s a psycho thing to do, what the fuck. What the fuck. “Why would Kevin cover him up?”
“Kevin’s scared of Riko. Jean too.”
“Wait, who is Jean?”
“Kevin’s other best friend,” Andrew huffs, clearly getting impatient. “Riko always hits him because he gets mad that he doesn’t understand French.” He frowns. “Jean doesn’t know English very well, he’s adopted. He’s from France so he speaks that sometimes.”
“And Riko—“ Nicky can’t believe what he himself is saying, “—doesn’t like that he speaks French? So he hits him?”
Andrew nods. “He kicks him in the legs and then says he got hurt at Exy practice and everybody believes him.”
Jesus Christ. What kind of fucking sociopath in the making is this kid? Holy— “Andrew, did Riko ever hurt you or Aaron? Did he try to?”
“He wanted me to play with them at recess once but I told him no,” Andrew says. “I don’t like him.”
And thank fuck for that.
Nicky stands up and bends forward to kiss Andrew on the forehead. It’s not an usual gesture, so he moves slowly and clearly, letting his motions be telegraphed so that his cousin always knows what’s going to happen. Andrew stiffens, but lets it happen.
Nicky’s lips brush his hair and then he pulls back. He almost cries at the surprised expression on the kid’s face. “You did well, Andrew. You did very, very well. Both in saying no to him and in telling me the truth. If anything like that ever happens again, you come and tell me immediately, okay?”
Still a bit dazed, Andrew nods. Nicky helps him off the table and hurries him back to the living room. His heartbeat still hasn’t recovered.
What should he— No, that’s a dumb question, he knows what he should do. It’s just going to be an heck of an awful conversation, damn.
He pulls his phone out of a pocket, and from another the note Abby left him when they met in the morning bringing the kids to school. He almost punches the digits in before bringing the device to his hear. He just hopes this won’t ruin Aaron’s chances at a friendship with Katelyn.
“Wild Fox Café, how may I help you?”
“Hello, I am Nicholas Hemmick, am I speaking with Mr. Wymack? It’s about Kevin.“
***
David Wymack, owner of the café known as the Wild Fox, is a bulk of man in his forties, with a dirty mouth and a piercing glare. He shows up at Nicky’s door frowning, though he can’t really be faulted for that when he was called to his kids’ playdate three hours earlier than planned. Abby had jokingly granted that her husband was actually some kind of golden hearted labrador in human shape but it is hard to tell from underneath the old wife-beater he’s wearing and the tribal flames tattooed all over his arms.
Nicky really hopes this doesn’t end in a brawl because he already knows who’d be losing. 
Spoiler alert, it’s his sorry ass.
After Kevin and Katelyn have rejoiced at the sight of their father — and step-father, respectively — and showed him the results of their hour of playdate, Nicky has managed to get them back to play and find some semblance of privacy in the kitchen where he proceeded on repeating word for word what Andrew told him. Wymack started the talk on his feet, arms crossed, and ended it on a chair, pale faced and stiff.
“I understand that you don’t even know me or my kids, I really do,” Nicky hurries in saying, terrified by what overlooking this situation might turn it into. “I can just promise you, Andrew despises lies with all his being. He’s basically allergic to them, I swear, and he much prefers keeping silent, to be honest. I thought it was just better to call you as soon as he told me.”
Wymack passes a hand through his hair and looks suddenly less intimidating and a bit older. “Did Kevin say anything?”
Nicky shakes his head. “I didn’t talk to him. I didn’t think he would tell a stranger, if he’s lied up until now to all his teachers and you.”
It’s another silent five minutes before Wymack stands without a word. He goes to the living room and asks, a bit gruffly, for Kevin and Andrew to come to the kitchen.
Aaron is the first to move and Nicky is not surprised to see it is to grab onto his brother’s arm, even though he’s looking up at Wymack with fear clear in his eyes. “Why?!” he asks, panicked.
“Aaron, it’s okay,” Nicky whispers, kneeling in front of the twins. They seem to relax when Wymack’s sight gets hidden. Kevin just obediently goes to his father. “We just need to talk to Andrew and Kevin for a moment, okay? We’ll be back soon.”
Aaron looks dubiously at his brother, then back to his cousin. “You’ll be there the whole time?”
“I promise I will.”
Maybe Aaron doesn’t have his brother’s fixation with deals and promises, but he looks relieved by the words and he lets go.
It’s a difficult talk that Nicky weathers through with Andrew firmly in his lap, from the moment when Wymack asks him to repeat what he saw to when Kevin panics and starts yelling he’s liar to when the poor kid collapses on the floor sobbing and screaming he’s afraid because Riko said he’d break his leg next if he tells anyone. He’s, what, two years older than the twins?, three? He’s not even ten.
Nicky wants to puke, but holds Andrew closer instead, as they watch Wymack hug Kevin in his lap, promising safety in his ears.
Andrew turns his face to hide in Nicky’s neck. He’s gone back to scarce words and non-verbal gestures ever since Wymack approached him, and getting the story out of him has been a long and difficult process that left both him and Nicky exhausted. Now, he mutters, “ice-cream.”
Nicky chuckles a bit. “You already had that, buddy. What about some warm milk, instead?”
“Don’t like it.”
“It will make you grow taller.”
“… A bit.” Gotcha.
***
Wymack collects Kevin and Katelyn and says he’s going to call his wife first and the school later. With Kevin talking, Andrew won’t need to come forward as witness, which is good because Nicky doubts he would speak in front of so many people.
When Nicky accompanies them to the door, Andrew still holding onto him like a koala with face buried in his neck, Wymack tilts his head at them. “Thank you,” he says, voice gruff but sincere.
Nicky just nods. “Let me know if you need anything,” he says, as if he actually has some kind of helping this man. He only gets a gesture as answer, but that’s enough.
***
The twins don’t ask to sleep with him, ever, so Nicky sits on the couch instead, calls Erik and bails his eyes out. Why do all these ugly things happen to kids?
Erik tries to soothe him, and when he fails he sneaks out of his college, drives over and ends up curled on the couch with Nicky crying in his chest.
***
A full week later, Nicky gets a call from Abby. She starts crying somewhere during her thanking speech that Nicky tries desperately to turn down, and she ends up inviting him and the twins at her husband’s café for breakfast and an update.
So Nicky prepares the twins and they drive to the Wild Fox with only Aaron breaking the silence with an endless stream of chatter about this thing Katelyn taught him. Andrew takes Nicky’s middle finger when they get out of the car.
The Wild Fox is full of obnoxious orange, which the twins don’t seem to appreciate, and fox-themed stuff, from the paw-prints along the counter to the fox faces on the paper cups. The kids get a huge cookie each and some orange juice, so Nicky gets himself the biggest coffee he can and says he’s not hungry because he still hasn’t found a second job.
The place is full of kids age high-school and college despairing over their homework, so Abby leads them to a mostly secluded table where Wymack is already sat overseeing his kids working together on a stack of paper. It takes just as little to get Aaron invested in what Katelyn is doing as it takes Kevin to lose interest in it to stare at Andrew instead.
With no prompting needed, he mutters, “I’m sorry I called you a liar even if you were telling the truth.”
Andrew just stares at him, but he’s still got Nicky’s finger in his hand and he clenches his grip around it when the words reach him. It’s a good reaction, probably.
“So,” Nicky hesitates, stealing glances at Aaron and Katelyn. “What is going to happen, now?”
Wymack sighs heavily. “We pressed charges,” he says. “Bullying, but it might get bigger later on.”
“Kevin and Jean brought us to this place behind the Exy court, in the woods,” Abby adds in a low voice. “Riko killed a couple cats there. He’s going to have to go through a psych evaluation and there’s a chance he might get diagnosed with sociopathy. A friend of mine from college is a psychotherapist and she told me animal abuse might be a step into a worsening of the condition.”
“Jesus,” Nicky can’t stop himself from saying. This is crazy. The kid is Kevin’s age, for fuck’s sake. “So, Jean spoke up too?”
“His older sister works here part-time,” Wymack says, pointing to the kind barista with rainbow hair that served them. “Renee’s a martial art champion and a saint at heart. When I told her what came up, she talked to her brother and he spilled everything as soon as she promised to protect him. Riko had told him he’d be shipped back to France if he complained and let’s just say his life here was not good.”
“The police told us they broke into Riko’s house and it seems his current guardian, his uncle, is pretty unstable too.” Abby sighs, pressing a hand to her forehead. “The evidence seems to prove he was highly abusive of his nephew, so that might be what gave the start to his behavior.”
“That’s absurd.” It’s not. Nicky’s seen how cruel people can be, he’s been through it himself. He touches his own arm, where under the cloth of his sleeve rest the scars from the electroconvulsive therapy. “Well, I’m glad it’s over?”
Wymack snorts. “Probably just started, but whatever. As long as it keeps my kids safe.”
Which is more than most parents Nicky has known his whole life. He wonders if really all the Tilda’s, the Luther’s, the Riko’s uncles of this world are just the minority. It’s hard to believe, from his prospective.
Andrew tugs on Nicky’s sleeve. “Martial arts,” he just says, but the frown on his face is his confused one.
Honestly, this kid is going to end up all wrinkled and twenty-five, Nicky knows it. “It’s a fighting style. Kinda. Probably.”
Oh, yes, Nicky doesn’t like the twinkle in Andrew’s eyes, at all. The kid’s already enough of a menace as it is.
“Let’s switch to lighter subjects, yes?” Abby cuts in, clapping her hands once. “Nicky! What is your story, darling?”
Nicky almost laughs in her face. Lighter subjects. As if. “Uh, there’s not much to say, really,” he tries.
“Nicky’s our cousin,” Aaron pipes in, turned to Katelyn but loud enough that the whole table turns to him. “We live with him now. He cooks Mexican food but doesn’t put the burning stuff in it, it’s good.”
Katelyn tilts her head to the side, confused. “What about your mommy and daddy?”
Aaron shrugs before Nicky can jump in. “Dunno dad. Mom died.” He darkens, as always when speaking about Tilda, and looks back down to his coloring. “She wasn’t like your mom, though.”
“Of course she wasn’t,” Kevin frowns. “Her mom’s her mom, and your mom’s your mom. They’re not the same mom.”
“I know that!” Aaron hisses. “I just meant that our mom didn’t like us.”
And the lighter subject has been breached. Nicky hopes Abby doesn’t feel too bad about it. “Aaron, why don’t you show Katelyn that homework you couldn’t finish? Maybe she can help you?”
Fast, Aaron whips out his notebook and Katelyn looks eager to offer her help. Kevin ends up trying to slip in and teach them both and Andrew looks on, bored. Soon enough, Kevin turns to him and tries to get him into accepting to play Exy with him, which Andrew looks extremely annoyed about.
Wymack gives it just long enough for the kids to be too busy to bother with the adults, before his eyes drill holes into Nicky. “You taking care of the lads alone?”
Nicky gulps, because there’s dark steel in that voice. “Uh, yes, sir,” it comes out instinctively.
An arched brow. “What about your family?”
“Not in the picture, sir,” why can’t he stop calling him sir?! “My parents cut all ties when I stopped going to gay-to-straight conversion therapy and I only heard back from them when my aunt overdosed and left the twins alone. They weren’t going to take them in, so I did.”
“That’s horrible, Nicky,” Abby said, sincere. She outstretched a hand to touch his arm. “I’m so sorry they did that to you, but I hope you know you’re really brave.”
“Thank you.” I’m not. I’m so not, can’t you tell I’m terrified? “I’m trying.”
“Do you have a job, kid?” Nicky blinks at Wymack. “Don’t look at me like that. You gonna call me sir, I’m gonna call you kid. How old are you, even? Twenty-three?”
“Twenty-one,” Nicky replies instinctively, and then realizes it might have not been the best answer because Abby looks ready to faint and Wymack’s scowl deepens even more. “I do have a job,” he feels in need to precise. “I work as a bartender at Eden’s Twilight.”
“That’s a night club,” Wymack says. “How do you do with the kids?”
By the time the twins finish their cookies and start reclaiming his attention again, Nicky has been thoroughly grilled. Wymack demanded to know about every arrangements he ever did for the twins, from where they slept when he was on duty to how much the rent for his apartment was. He looked darker by the second and Nicky feels terribly like he just failed a test.
“One job can’t pay enough,” the man says, waving with a hand to the counter.
Only now, Nicky notices they’ve been here long enough that the crowd has dispersed. They’ll probably come back for lunch time, but now the coffee shop is pleasantly quiet, and the nice barista Renee can afford to reach them at the table. “Yes, boss?”
“Don’t put on the hiring sign,” Wymack tells her, pointing roughly at Nicky. “I got you new helping hands already.”
Nicky, for himself, blinks a couple times before it all registers in his brain. “What?!”
Abby giggles, even if her husband looks at him like he’s an idiot. “I’m hiring you, brat. You said you can work a coffee machine, right?”
“Uh, yeah, but—“
“No buts. I’m the boss, I make the rules, I take the decisions.” Wymack stands up with a huff. “And I decide to hire you. You working at Eden’s tonight?” Nicky shakes his head hurriedly. “Then be here by seven tomorrow. You and Matt can work out your shifts to fit with your other job. And schedule some goddamn breaks between the two, your heard me? You’re of no use to me or your kids if you’re half dead on the floor. Renee, get these three strays something for lunch to take away and then kick them all home to take a nap.”
***
Erik is hard and soft at the same time, the feeling of safety and understanding he gives cannot be explained in any other way.
With the kids sleeping in their beds, Nicky broke one of his rules and let Erik into his room and his bed. With the weight of the second job taken care of, he’d felt the rush of relief turn into something else and he’d ended up biting his pillow as Erik’s mouth sent him spiraling. When he’d come down from his high, he’d found himself half asleep into his boyfriend’s chest.
“I’d like to meet this boss of yours, one day,” the man is muttering. “I’ll have to shake his hand.”
“I’ll have to build him a statue,” Nicky mutters, already gone for the most part. “He’s saved my ass.”
“I can tell.” Erik kisses his nape and pulls the blankets up to their shoulders. “Sleep now. You’ve got an early morning tomorrow.”
“I’m not even going to complain, just— Wait. I haven’t asked Roland if he can come in to—“
“Nicholas.” Erik’s brow arches. It’s less intimidating and more hot than when Wymack does it. “I’m here. Unless you’re throwing me out now, I’ll be here tomorrow morning too. I can get the twins to school and then go back to college in time for my ten a.m. class. Easy.”
Nicky blinks at him. “You would?”
“Dummy. Of course I would. Now get the fuck to sleep.”
“Don’t dirty talk me when I’m trying to sleep.”
If Erik answered back, Nicky lost it completely.
***
When the alarm rings, he doesn’t complain. Much.
507 notes · View notes
e-namor-a · 6 years
Text
Masked pt. V
I am so sorry it’s taken me so fucking long to update. 
I really fucking am. 
School was kicking my ass and my mini-mester was hellish. I’m hoping that now that my school schedule is going back to normal, that I can update sooner. 
Let me know if you want to be added to the Tag List, that’s still open. Lemme know if your tag doesn’t work, as I’ve currently two that don’t. And let me know what you think, pretty please, I live to hear your lovely thoughts.
This chapter is somewhat of a character development chapter. I need to flesh my story out so my arc makes sense? Does that make sense? I hope so. Anyway, this chapter also somewhat skips POV between Y/N and Tony.
CW: Emotional Shit, Death, Angst (also no Bucky but lots of Tony) 
Again I really am super fucking sorry for the delay xx
Masterlist
pt.i/pt. ii/pt. iii/pt. iv
 You held your breath waiting, staring at the lit up screen


“Y/N?”, a concerned voice came out of tiny speaker sounding tinny. “Y/N, honey, hello? Please tell me something babe, I’m panicking here.”


You stuffed your hand into your mouth to stifle the sobs that you couldn’t swallow back anymore. You wanted to tell him to help you. To tell him that you missed him and that you were sorry and that you needed help but you couldn’t get the words out. You couldn’t breathe. You were suffocating and you needed him.
 

A small sob escaped you, and you heard him inhale sharply.


“Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll be there soon. I promise. Hang on babe. I’m on my way.”


You stopped muffling your sobs. He was coming for you. 


It took longer than Tony wanted to get to your location. You were nestled in a hidden corner of the Amazon jungle, tucked away so hidden that even with the jet at full speed the journey took several hours.
The entire time your sobs echoed in his head. He had only heard you cry one other time, and as he flew he was drawn back into the memory. 
He remembered seeing you from his bench by the entrance, your twin braids that extended halfway down your back, the way you gripped your suitcase so tightly that your knuckles shone white, and the intense way your eyes looked over the school. 

He remembered the man who stood beside you in a grey suit, and the curt nod you gave him before you walked into the building, never once turning back, back ramrod straight. 
You had given the headmaster a dismissive glance and had walked up the stairs to the dormitories. He had gotten up and silently followed from a distance, strangely fascinated by you. You walked up to your dorm room door, taken a quick glance to each side before letting out a deep breath and almost deflating, your suitcase hitting the marble floor with a sharp smack. 

Tony had seen the exhaustion and the sadness in your body, in the way that you gently pressed your forehead against the door, and your shoulders drooped. He stood watching, brown eyes knowing, as your shoulders began to shake and your knees wobbled. He saw your hands go up to your mouth and he heard your muffled sobs.
He had the urge to run up the remaining stairs and hold you, just comfort you, but he knew better. Tony looked down at his shoes, fighting his instinct to comfort and instead quietly walked back down to his book, deciding in that moment that the two of you would be friends.
Tony never told you he had seen you break down, and you had never volunteered a reason, though he had tried to get the answer out of you at several times during your long friendship. You were the most stoic person he knew, never revealing deep emotion, never letting people through the barriers in your mind.
Tony thought about everything that happened in those months you were gone and though he didn’t want to admit it, your sobs had shaken him to his core. He steeled himself for what he might see as he touched down in the jungle, taking care to cloak his plane and hide his features as best he could in the hot humid climate. He strolled out, calmly, and walked up the streets to the little house he had traced your phone to. 


He knocked on the door loudly, noting that the blackout curtains were still drawn and no lights seemed to be on. The worry he had managed to quash on his way to your house started to grow again.
He knocked again, even louder than before, before tucking his hand into his pocket letting his armor coat his hand and asking F.R.I.D.A.Y. to read your house for heat signatures.  Friday whispered in his ear that she detected one in the back corner of the house and Tony knew he couldn’t wait any longer. 

He peeked over his shoulder, making sure that no one was watching, and broke the door lock quickly and quietly pushing his way into the house. He lifted his hand, the repulsor illuminating the dark. He saw a pristine living room and kitchen, nicely decorated but lifeless and untouched. Tony could tell that those rooms were just for show. He continued down a small hallway to the one closed door at the end of it.
He opened the door and faltered at the smell that hit him. He saw piles of dresses, wigs, and shoes spilling out of the closet. The bed was bare except for one pillow, one torn stained sheet and a hunting knife he recognized was Barnes’. There were bottles of liquor, the rough biting moonshine kind, all over the place. Broken glass, torn paper, and plastic bags littering the room. He continued towards the back of the room, seeing the light coming out from the bottom of, what he assumed was, the bathroom door. 


He pushed the door open and he almost choked on the thick steam hitting him in the face. He looked around and saw the grimy white bathroom with a broken mirror, and at the back, the only contrast in the room, in the bathtub with water pouring on you. 

Your hair was plastered to your face, and you were sitting down with your knees tucked under your chin wearing an oversized black long-sleeve and shorts. Tony rushed towards you, hands extended, ready to pull you out before cringing back in pain. The water was scalding hot but you were sitting in it without flinching. He turned off the shower and gently reached in and scooped you out. You didn’t even react, and Tony could feel his panic rising even more than before.
He went and sat you down in your pristine living room, pacing in front of you unsure of what to do. F.R.I.D.A.Y. as though sensing his disquietness, offered suggestions ranging from calling Dr. Banner, to singing, to trying to use pressure to get you to snap out of your catatonia. 


Tony faltered, remembering that young girl from all those years ago, before kneeling down and, pressing his hands on your thighs trying to get a reaction. He let out a sigh and delicately, reached up to grab your face and try to get you to focus on his. Grabbing your face must’ve jolted something in you because almost instantly Tony found himself face first on the floor, arm painfully pinned, snarling accented Russian insults being hurled at him. 


“Y/N? Honey? Please? Let go of me. You’re hurting me babe. Please let go”, Tony plead.
 

He tried flexing his hand, trying to catch your attention and desperately starts singing a lullaby he had heard you sing before. Much to his surprise, his arm was loosened. He turned around and saw you kneeling on the floor, hands curled into claws and face frozen unseeing. His heart ached when he saw the pain etched in your wide unblinking eyes, now streaming tears. 

Hesitatingly, he reached out and pulled your body towards him. He hugged you tightly, tucking your head under his chin, and settled you in his lap as he softly rubbed your back and crooned your lullaby. 

It had been several hours since Tony had sung that lullaby to you. You were still curled in his lap, the tears had finally run out. He had stopped singing, and rocking and was now merely stroking your hair. Tired as you were, you could feel the fear and tension in his body and you knew you owed him an explanation. He had flown hundreds of miles and saved you as best as he could.
Yes, you owed him an explanation. 


But you couldn’t bring yourself to move. To speak. To do anything but let the vast ocean of loneliness and pain drown you. It kept dragging you down and frankly and you didn’t want to resurface. You could feel yourself nodding off, blackness closing in on you when you heard Tony speak. 


“You know, I saw you arrive, that first day at boarding school. You carried yourself like a proud queen, regal and proud. I saw you.” 


Tony shifted underneath you, turning your body towards his. He put his hand under your chin to try to lift it up, and succeed despite your stubborn attempt to keep it down. 


“You were beautiful and you intrigued me. I followed you that day. I was going to be smooth and charming and try to sweep you off your feet. I followed you up the stairs towards your dorm room and I saw. I saw you.” 


The embarrassment that went through was swift and harsh, you flinched as your pale sallow cheeks flushed. You hadn’t known that anyone had seen you. No one had ever seen you cry and the fact that Tony had seen you twice, made you feel even more embarrassment. 

You knew Tony felt you flinch when he wrapped his arms tighter around you. He didn’t stop talking, even though you desperately wished he would. 

“I saw you break down”, he repeated, “And I’ve never brought it up till now. Because now, now I’m more worried than I’ve ever been. More worried than I was that day. I’m fucking scared Y/N. I want to help you, I love you. You’re my sister and I can’t help because I don’t know what’s going on. So talk to me Y/N. Please. Please don’t run from me, babe. Just let me in Y/N, please.” 


Tony’s voice was quivering and his eyes shone with tears but still, you couldn’t get the words out of your mouth. They were ringing in your ears, they never stopped but you couldn’t get them out. You needed help.
Instead of answering him, you looked away and stood up. Wobbling, legs unsteady, you walked to your room going to pick up one of the liquor bottles lying around. You put it to your lips and drunk deeply, knowing it was finally time to let someone in. 


You walked back to your living room and sat cross-legged across from Tony.
 

You took a deep breath and whisperingly said, “Ok. I'll tell you.”
You swung a bit more alcohol and looked deep into Tony’s eyes. You could feel fear rising in you but fuck, you had to say it or it would kill you. Everything would change the second you told him. You knew it. No one wanted someone as dark and twisty as you. Still small irrational stupid part held out hope that he wouldn’t see you differently. That he wouldn’t treat you differently. He didn’t know the whole story. He didn’t know what had happened to you, what you had had to endure. What you had had to survive. 


Maybe he would be different. Maybe he would stick by you and make sure that you were ok despite the horrors that littered your past.
God the fear and panic were coating you, you were so fucking scared but fuckfuckfuck, you had to do it. You had to. 

So you took a deep breath and let it out. 

“On the morning of my fifteenth birthday, I killed my sister. I picked up a gun and shot her between the eyes in the middle of the living room. I picked her body up and buried it next to the open hole that would be my mothers grave in the rose garden at my family’s compound.”
You thought you were going to keel over from the pain, and the relief you felt. You wanted to cry and scream but one look up at Tony’s face kept you from reacting. Your old training kicked in and you pulled yourself back because on Tony’s face was a fear, mixed with disgust and pity. He was looking at you, just how you had hoped he wouldn’t. You had lost the last person in the world who loved you.
You smiled grimly and lifted the bottle to your lips again. You were a stupid foolish woman. What did you think would happen? You deserved nothing less.
You could see Tony’s mind going a billion miles an hour. Probably questioning every moment of friendship with you. You had killed your sister, clearly, you were unstable. A dark and twisty monstrosity. Why had you hoped Tony would be different? Fucking foolish. 


Your face betrayed none of your internal turmoil, you just sat there staring back at him evenly, while he gaped at you.
 

Finally, he let out a horrified, “You did what?”

His question cut you. Your last bit of hope died. You just wanted someone to fucking ask you if you were ok. You wanted to let it all out, to comfort. Goddammit, you should’ve known better than to trust him. You were too fucking much. Too much.
He was just like- 

You stopped before your mind conjured his name up or worse, his image. Neither man was ever truly going to be there for you, you should’ve known better.
Your father was right.You could hear his voice in your head now, ‘To trust is to lose. To love is to lose. And losing is unacceptable.’


You hadn’t wanted to admit it, you thought you could have a different life. You thought you could’ve had something more than what you were given at birth. Clearly not. You were done trying to fight it. The world had predetermined that you were to be cold, brutal and unfeeling. 
Why fight it?


“I killed my sister. Shot her right between the eyes.” You smirked, cold and cruel, “Like I was trained to. ”
You finished the remaining alcohol and stood up.
“Now get out. I don’t need you, or your pity or your friendship. Trusting you was a mistake, and it’ll never happen again. I’m going to pack and when I’m done, I expect you to be gone.” 


You turned and walked back to your dark room, closing the door. You stood in your bedroom for a moment letting rage and pain roil inside you, begging for an outlet. But you knew better now, you controlled your emotion, not the other way around.


Centered, you began moving around the room, grabbing what you needed.
Tony still sat in a dazed shock. You had murdered your sister? Had he heard you right? He wanted to ask you to repeat yourself but he knew that he had heard correctly, it wasn’t a misunderstanding. His Y/N, his little sister, had killed her sister.
His mind couldn’t move beyond that, even as he saw you slide your mask into place, even as he saw you drink deeply.
The only thing his mind could come up with to ask was a strangled, “You did what?”
It was a stupid thing to ask, he knew it as soon as the words left his lips but he couldn’t help it. He had to know what happened because his mind couldn’t understand what you had told him. 
As soon as he heard your answer he knew that if he didn’t act quickly, you were going to pull away from him. He wasn’t going to let that happen.
 

He watched you finish the alcohol and he saw the cold fury in your eyes, and the cold cruelty, as you smirked told him you wanted him gone. Once you turned to walk away, he shuddered. He couldn’t recognize you anymore. You were transforming into someone else. 


His mind went into overdrive, he was losing you and there was no way he was letting that happen. He ran to your room, breaking down your door.
 

“No Y/N.”  
You were standing by the empty bed, still as a statue with some scraps of fabric in your hands. He walked slowly to you, voice firm.
“You’re not leaving. We’re family. You’re all I have left. I’m not letting you leave. You can push everyone else out but not me. I will not abandon you.”


He saw you flinch at his final declaration. If he hadn’t been looking, he would’ve missed it. It was almost imperceptible, and in that moment he knew what he had to say. He realized what you needed to hear. 
How could he have been so slow in realizing it?
 

He reached out and grabbed you, turning you towards him. 

“I will not walk out on you. I will not leave you. I am your brother and I will never, as long as I live, abandon you. I care about your past because I can see how it is killing you. But no matter what you tell me, I won’t walk out.”
You could feel yourself reaching your breaking point. God fucking dammit. Why couldn’t he leave you be? You wanted to cry. Tony had just said what you wanted to hear all your life. What you had wanted to hear since you were a child. But now you didn’t know if it was worth it. Could you trust him?


Again you heard your fathers voice in your head, ‘To trust is to lose. To love is to lose. And losing is unacceptable.’
You stood, still as a statue throughout Tony’s declaration. You so desperately wanted to give in but you didn’t know if you could trust him. No one stayed for you. No one. Not your mother and not your sister. Could you trust him with your past and be assured that he would be there by the end of it.

Tony was holding you, and it felt so good to be cared for. You were going to break. You knew it. You couldn’t hold it in. 


Again, your father's sneering voice entered your head, ‘You are pathetic. I trained you better. You are cold. You are unfeeling. You are unbreakable. This is a failure. This is unacceptable.’
Tony was shaking you, trying to bring you out of your head. 

“Y/N, babe, trust me. Please. I’m here through it all, I swear on my life. Please Just let me in. Please, I’m begging you. Let me in.”
And suddenly you really couldn’t hold it back anymore. And with a great gasp, your mask finally broke.
You collapsed into his arms letting out a heartbroken wail, you sobbed, “I killed her. I killed her. Oh, God. Please make the pain stop. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Tony help me. He told me to and I killed her. Why God? Why? Help me. Please help me.”
__________________________________________________________
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tessatechaitea · 4 years
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Justice League #33
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I hate variant covers based on other current comic book stories.
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Due to holding hands, they morph together to become the Omni-Monitor.
Is Scott Snyder suggesting children should band together and rise up to overthrow their parents? Even if it were to save the world, there's no way you'd get me to merge with my sister. Gross. Why is Snyder even suggesting such a possibility?! Weirdo. John Stewart finally mentions he's an architect while speaking with Alan Scott. His days as an architect have been overshadowed by his days as a marine pretty much since the New 52 began. Although I'm not sure he's really concerned with his days as an architect when he follows up "I'm a soldier and an architect" with "Both work on the belief that every fight, every founding struggle, serves an overall climb." Maybe he's confusing a career architect with the more metaphorical use of architect when discussing the framers of the constitution or the founding fathers attempting to build democracy. I don't ever remember Mike Brady discussing his work as if every job were a fight or a struggle serving an overall climb. Mostly he was just desperate to impress his boss with new designs of theme parks as he pulled out posters of Yogi Bear. The plan to defeat Luthor and Perpetua needs impeccable timing so of course one part of the plan fires off before it should. That part is Hawkwoman. Lex Luthor gets in her head and she flips the fuck out just the way a good Hawkperson always does. Now she might burn out all of her energy before Starman can set up a cosmic link between the Justice League in the past using the Conch of Arion to establish their position and the Justice League in the future getting their ass kicked by Brainiac One Million as Kamandi comes up with a plan to link with Starman. The plan is so complex I figured it needed an equally complex sentence to explain it. Everybody in the past and everybody in the future are acting as if what they do is urgent. Why? Why is it urgent? The action happening in the present isn't happening at the same time as the action happening in the future and the past. The guys in the past can take years to get the job done and it wouldn't matter! Just because I, as an independent observer, am reading all of these story arcs at the same time, it doesn't mean the stories are happening at the same time. Starman can just contact the people in the future and the past exactly at the point they're ready for him whenever he thinks it's convenient to contact them! He doesn't have to wait until they accomplish whatever they're doing. Whatever they need done has already been accomplished! Especially the deed in the past but also the deed in the future, by the way all of this shit works. I mean, the future still exists for the Justice League to travel to so Starman must be successful in the present. Right?! Is that how time works?! I know I'm discussing comic book time travel but I'd still like some kind of structure to the logic of it all!
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It's always a bad idea to introduce more interesting characters as second stringers or background actors into the middle of an epic. Because now I don't give a fuck about Luthor and the Legion of Doom. I want more Vandal Savage and the Legionnaires Club stories!
Apparently everything is going wrong and the multiverse is going to succumb to doom. And only one kid can save it all: Kamandi, the last girl on Earth! But she realizes that she can't save the multiverse by herself because the multiverse can't be saved by just one person and also it can't be saved by just however many people compromise the current Justice League and Justice Society. No, the exact amount of people to save the multiverse includes Batman Beyond and his Justice League! Why they weren't helping before or why they exist in Kamandi's world, I have no idea. Maybe Kamandi jumped from one Brainiac jar to the next to find them? You know what, I don't care. I don't even care that Batman Beyond is entering into this comic book. I was never that interested in it and was even less interested in it when it turned out he was Tim Drake just before Tim Drake became a vampire and time traveled back to the twenty-first century to become Harvest. Justice League #33 Rating: I don't know. Who am I to rate somebody else's work? If you enjoy comic book writing and art, this is probably an A. Unless you only like the specific comic book writing and art paid for by Marvel and then this is probably a big fat F unless you can think of a lower grade. Maybe you just love Snyder's work because you're James Tynion IV and then this is an Omni-A+. But then again, you might be a comicsgater who hates that there are so many female and black characters in this comic book which is obviously just pandering because when you think like a comicsgater, what else is there, in which case this is a big Cuck-F-Doodle-Doo! I don't fucking care what anybody thinks and I don't know why anybody cares what I ultimately think. Just read the stupid jokes I made about the comic and my parents and fucking be happy with that! I'm not here to tell you what to think otherwise! I'm probably even going to drop the rating part so that you jerks can start thinking for yourselves!
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ryodan · 7 years
Text
SasuNaru and the pinhole : part 3
If we do a time skip to after the akatsuki arc, Naruto comes to understand why someone wants revenge when their loved is killed and admits yeah he didn’t really get sasuke and this is where it gets :/ on Narutos behalf for me
In the land of iron sasuke is falling rapidly deeper into the curse of hatred because he is using mangekyo more and more, he is doing very unethical things like attacking the cloud and trying to live capture a man..he is a full blown S ranked criminal whos name alone was capable of triggering a war, no matter how I a sasuke fan can justify and explain his behavior people who don’t know about the COD can’t. Naruto himself was like?? Who are you dude. But obito shows up and he is told. Naruto is woke about the curse of hatred and he says ‘sasuke loved his clan a lot and that’s why he cant forgive.’ But at that time that was not the case. During his fight with danzo his mangekyo evolved the most to a point where afterwards he was losing vision, and his issue wasn’t just that he wants his clan back, his issue was was the massacre and the discrimination. Naruto was like near the point, but homeboy missed it. In fact, the one who actually point its out is Kakashi, but he says both Naruto and Sakura see it, meaning when they both saw sasukes way of talking about Konoha, they understood him better. I cut Naruto slack because he tried understanding sasuke constantly, no matter how much sasuke cut him off. But this shit does not get an easy pass, where he jumps in to clash with sasuke so they read each others thoughts,,its funny bc he says he gets it…then proceeds..not to get it
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Why is he talking about himself here? I respect that Naruto always tried his best to understand him
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but he knows about the fucking curse and he says one bad move and I would have been like you? Nah, sasukes fate was chosen the second he saw his parents corpses. Naruto hears him talk about the uchiha,,,,and says this. :// It’s insensitive to the fact that sasuke isn’t just a survivor of a tragedy, hes a survivor of a national genocide. But he literally doesn’t mention it.
Meaning they both know Indra and Ashuras charka are in them
Lol another misinterpreted scene is the ill shoulder all your hate scene, while im sure he did want to end sasukes miserable suffering, he was talking about protecting Konoha and ending the cycle of hatred.
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‘sasuke wants to kill naruto bc he knows his love will save him!111! No, it’s because the annoying orange stands in his way..also naruto still feels disrespected 
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And sasuke atm isn’t having that ‘ill stop you because you are my friend.’ Stuff, which is mistranslated as ‘I am your friend’ but this entire arc was naruto speaking in I terms. Im meh about it.
Oh lol and the bane of my existence..’sakura and kakashi are selfish and tried to give up on him..naruto wanted to save him!11!!’
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Lol to which sasukes response was ‘im itching to kill you kakashi’ so futile arguments remain futile
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It’s not Kakashis fault sasuke is a man who lent his hand to a terrorist organization, attacked a village, live captured an innocent man who is a jinchuriki meaning he was actively help start the war,  and as shikamaru said a war would have started out in his name and he even attacked an international peace meeting..his motives were not to change the system but pure revenge over Konoha who even though is problematic has innocent citizens in it. Itachi is a good guy for killing his loved ones to stop a war and protect his brother the second Kakashi and Sakura do it they are selfish and don’t understand him.  Kakashi acknowledged he adored him no matter how far he is fallen and that he doesn’t want to kill him but he must do whats necessary, sakura knew that the current sasuke isn’t a sasuke the real sasuke would condone and she did what kakashi tried to do with obito, aka end his misery, as well as keep naruto from the akatuski, prevent a war, keep konoha safe and shoulder kakashis burden.
In fact, they acknowledged his victim status, but still a war in his name is a war in his name
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‘sakura gave up on him!11!!’ she had a moment where she realized he would never do something like his own teammate and she noticed right away, no chakra sensing needed that he is definitely changed. She didn’t betray him when she didn’t even know any part of the truth, just like to innocent people in konoha like Kiba, he was the one doing the betrayal.
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 ‘he doesn’t care and wanted to kill her’ is also funny bc he trusted her for a moment but called bullshit very fast
His face is not exactly ‘im itching to kill you sakura’ when she is all like im here for u :) fuck konoha :)
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Sasuke chose not to frontally attack her. She is here to kill him and he knows it but deep down (like,,really deep down) this fuck still cares about team 7. This scene is fucked man, but it is not abusive in the context of the series at all.
Yeesh the second attack was sakura protecting kakashi, and self defense on sasukes part,,so no still not abusive..and if refutes the ‘she gave up on him’ argument because
The attack starts with her remembering all the shit he is causing right now,,he ain’t sasuke,,and poor kakashi is being burdened by this
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But the second she is about to? She remembers real sasuke and isn’t able to do it, meaning no she has some hope for him. When naruto gives his speech she has a moment of sad realization that she isn’t able to stop sasuke as naruto emphasized only he can, so she decided to trust them both..trust naruto that he can bring him back and trust that sasuke isn’t as far gone as he seems.
‘he tried to kill her because he hates her’ ‘he doesn’t care at all!11!!’ ‘he wants her dead!11!!’
Lol this isn’t the most murderous face hes done so far tbh
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Aint trying to say this scene is hallelujah but at least the context isn’t he wants to kill her and laughs about it in her face like he did to 3 people who really did not deserve that.
Misconceptions about the war : Sasuke only cares about naruto (seriously this trend needs to die) and he gives 0 shits about Kakashi and Sakura.  Ignoring the fact that when he first arrived she’s the one he acknowledged and answered to, the reason he had to keep saving Narutos ass is said multiple times by the s man himself..yin release and yang release
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 But no,,,he doesn’t care about sakura or kakashi
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‘whatever he would have let them fall in lava, even tho naruto said that isn’t true’
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‘whatever, he still called her useless’ No, he asked ‘if you heard whats going on outside, what would you do?’ then he shuts kakashi up and says he is in charge to which Naruto scolds him for not being a team player. Not for verbal abuse. ‘He said that bc he thinks shes weak.’ No he really didn’t.
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Clean PC : sasukekun on tumblr
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Sasuke goes on to talk about his revolution
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And Sakura confesses asking him not to go any further into hatred. It’s funny how people call her selfish for confessing or pretend that you’re annoying has negative connotations beyond volume 18,, when her literal confession states that she wants to do anything for him that she can and she hates that she isn’t able to talk to him about his issues, nor is she able to exchange blows with him. Its really?? That people call her selfish bc all she literally says I hate that I cant help you despite how much I love you but please don’t go further into hate, lets just stay united and get through it. The..exact..same..thing..naruto…was…communicating
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And it did make his resolve falter..it literally made him shake, people pretend he was happy to show her that genjutsu (to ensure she hated him) but,,,that is not the case he doesn’t look happy at all
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Oh and ofc the famous argument lmao
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‘He said he has no reason to love her..so he only married her for pity’ gross, sasuke is the biggest leo bitch there is, too much pride to stick his dick in something he doesn’t really want
‘are you suggesting I enjoy a little renai?’ (romantic love) ‘I have no reason to love her and she has no reason to love’ /= I hate her and I have no feelings for her considering this was his mental view of everything…Kakashi saying only hate needs a reason isn’t guilt tripping..bc that’s..what..naruto communicated to him
Again, sasukes jaded way of thinking is a theme, he does not believe in the unity of the shinobi alliance, he believes they got together for a common reason.
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‘she suffers from loving you’ ‘only hate needs a reason’ Sasuke immediately flashes to his own selfless love that never needed a reason, the love that made him suffer the most.
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but no he has no feelings left for her :/ lol
‘Sasuke wanted to kill naruto bc he is his light, and the only thing holding him back from total darkness’ except, no this is a shonen
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‘narutos bond can be romantic bc naruto said they aren’t indra and ashura…sasuke said one and only friend..they clearly have romantic feelings for each other’
Sage : my children will continue the cycle :/ this sucks
Naruto : no bc we aren’t indra and ashura
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Also Naruto :
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‘well sasuke called naruto still his closest friend and he knew no one else accepts him’
That was his mentality and it was wrong, just like when he was confused why Taka still looked for him after what he did. Naruto still remains sasukes best friend, that is true..but the one and only term sasuke uses is the exact same term Itachi used  yuuitsu to describe their relationship. So, no it’s not romantic, it is still brotherly.
 And the fight is the biggest proof of what ive been trying to say, they represent the naruto quite well . Naruto learned that power comes from unity and the sharing of pain, that the world isn’t perfect but we can endure  and change it little by little. Hagoromo confirms ss will happen lol
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Read those 3 pages carefully please, specially if you are pro revolution
Sasuke goes off to state what his experience made him learn and ofc misses the point
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And heres a page to focus on, if you really don’t believe this was a dictatorship
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dictator
noun
1.    a ruler with total power over a country, typically one who has obtained control by force.
Synonyms:
Autocrat, monocrat, absolute ruler
How a dictatorship works : Dictatorship is a form of government  where a country or a group of countries is ruled by one person or political entity, and exercised through various mechanisms to ensure that the entity’s power remains strong
A dictatorship is a type of Authoritarianism, in which politicians regulate nearly every aspect of the public and private behavior of citizens. Dictatorship and totalitarianism societies generally employ political propaganda to decrease the influence of proponents of alternative governing systems.
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Literally a dictatorship.
Naruto wants to teach him power and change come from love and comradeship, he doesn’t want his friend to do that to the world or himself, and since he is the only one who can save him, its pretty noble of him to try and understand sasuke and open him to interpreting the world differently instead of charging at him with hate, which given everything would be justified.
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This goes back to Gaaras speech
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When they wake up lol sasuke says the exact same thing Kakashi did except after the fight sasuke is free from the curse so he is able to think properly . this is the one aspect I really love about their relationship. Naruto knows loneliness so well, just like sasuke and he never gave up trying to teach him what he learned along the way. 2 boys, different experience, same feelings. The entire series on a small scale level. Thanks to Naruto persevering instead of hatin, sasuke found salvation. Why did Naruto persevere? Like Iruka said,, he just did. No reason needed.
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Theres no fucking reason for love and friendship, you just want to share peoples pain because they matter and that’s that. 
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The lesson that sasuke was taught was the message of the entire series, by the hero Ninja Jesus..thats why im not particularly anti ending in a political respect unless you count the uchiha massacre which btw you say its why youre anti ending but lol naruto agreed on this in volume 50 something…when  he met itachi under edo tensei, so its not an ending issue it’s a naruto issue…this series never addressed things as politics, it addressed them as conflicts due to hate and misunderstanding.. it’s a kids series after all. One piece takes political issues and gives them political relevance but naruto was never about that. Im anti Naruto uzumakis ending bc imo NH is crap, hinata is up there with Karin on most badly written characters and it makes no romantic sense..the guy in the hokage chair is not Naruto and I hate it. But in boruto when an issue arises, we see the 5 kages fight together..in the war (and tbh from the moment Hiashi prostrated to Neji) we see the hyuga issue is no longer a thing Kishimoto chose to be politically relevant he stuck to his comrade theme. So hating kishimoto for an ending when it’s a consistent message is useless..but in some aspects yeah ew
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‘sasuke felt pain when he saw naruto in pain bc hes special’ lol no. he was always watching Naruto desperately try to make bonds and it reminded him of his own lost bonds. He saw a kid, unlike him try his best to find people and although he saw him a brat first he later thought it over and saw that it made him relieved that theres somebody out there trying to make bonds..at the same time he saw it a weakness bc bonds mean attachment and not killing Itachi..the pain thing? Stop excluding team 7 like they don’t all matter to sasuke the same
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That’s why..no reading up or down..thats why
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Good for him, he got the message the entire shinobi alliance learned from Naruto..a little late but hes always been a special snow flake
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Lol he explained it better than I did almost. That’s it..he explained their entire relationship.
Sasukes ‘I lost’ came from the realization that Naruto got his power from his comrades, by feeling their pain and wanting to protect them and from shouldering their pain. Like I said, the whole point of the series echos in these 2s relationship. Countries used to be at war because they were no t allied bc they had no reason and war bred fear, fear bred hate and caused conflict and acts of injustice, along comes the child of prophecy changing the hearts of the people teaching them about unity and sharing burdens because of what he learned.-
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He apologizes to Sakura, which I don’t think hes apologizing only for what he did to her per se, as much as its like what he said ‘everything’ …trying to say he was never wrong is :/ trying to say she guilted him is :/ he himself apologized for the emotional pain she did not ask him too
He apologized to sakura bc he wanted to take back that bond..its funny how a lot of sns hate sakura when its sasuke who initiated the apology and made the ship canon its petty and has a blind double standard imo..you cant erase sakura, nor Kakashi..theyre all his bonds
Naruto doesn’t seem so depressed about them reuniting either, so where is the romantic context? 0. Null. Nada.
Or people who try to twist sasukes words here as ‘hes ignoring her’ when he literally stated himself she had 0 to do with his crimes and he needs to understand the world before jumping full turkey into a relationship when his entire life was viewed from a skewed perspective
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‘the forehead poke means distance and its negative’ mata condo da, next time maybe. Mata condo na, next time definitely. A promise for a better future after he is ready..he deserves some time after all he has been through, so? There we go.
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 The forehead poke had both a negative and a positive connotations, but it was still an act of affection from the person he loved the most and he does not look hateful doing that.look at that smile he is so cute
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k
Once again, the series goes full circle.
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The most important message of the series people miss
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I never said devaluate naruto and sasukes bond, I said realize sasuke is a character who bought the series together, who had many bonds of different kinds. If you look at the series with the point of perspective as a reader whos just reading instead of a fan of a particular aspect of it, you’ll see that despite it’s inconsistent parts sometimes, it’ll seem a whole lot more enjoyable.
Bye, this has been a PSA.
Oh and I think I saw on your blog you said sasukes arm isn’t cut in the flashback?
Theres literally a clear cut line of the cut
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