#ive always wanted to die clean and pretty

[the-record]

COWBOYS LIKE YOU

SYNOPSIS: you should stop letting her through that door

PAIRING: cowboy!abby x reader

WARNINGS: a touch of homophobia

A/N: this isnt great, and makes me sad, but i like it!! trying to be a little less dialogue focused

“do you have to go?” your voice is soft as abby lets the question linger in the air. “i hate it when you leave. its lonely.”

her fingers slide carefully up and down your arm and she sighs. “im sorry angel.” abby wraps her arms around you and pulls tight, trying to get you as close as possible. “you know it ain’t safe for us out there though.”

you knew she was right, seen first hand just what people think about sappho and her friends. felt the rage and anger that came when two women who just loved each other.

these nights with her were nice. the sun still going down and the heat with it. crickets started their song and birds finishing theirs. you had pulled the sheets up halfway when it cooled, the sweat on yalls skin disappearing with the breeze.

abbys nails were kept short always, but theyd begin to grow out and were gently scratching at your skin. her hair had finally grown out again and you twisted it around your fingers.

when you’d found her that night, you had to bring her back. clean up her hair, her wounds, her clothes. you couldnt leave a sweet thing like her out in the cold to die. or the boy that was with her. you never did see him again, but it meant more time just you and her.

“i can stay one more day. but then i ought to get back on.” she pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead. “you get some rest now, let me make us somethin’ warm and good for dinner.” you whine as she untangles herself from you, but only laughs before leaving the room.

you don’t remember when you nodded off, but you do remember waking up to something smelling good. she stumbled in with a tray full of plates and cups. she smiled when she saw you sit up.

“well good mornin’ sunshine.” you rolled your eyes as abby settled in beside you. “now, no more of that attitude, not when i made you somethin’ nice.”

you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “now i know good and well that you, abby anderson, are not talking.” she returned the eye roll, albeit not very well. “now what is on my menu tonight mrs anderson?”

abby always left without warning, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. but you always managed to make a move on from her, prepared with the fact that she may never be back for you.

you tended to the farm, your cows. made breakfast and dinner each and every day, sweet tea and lemonade for the hot afternoons. you did afternoon tea in the ladies parlor on saturdays and church on sundays. you kept on the way you always did, never missing a beat.

until a fateful cool evening when someone came knocking on your screen, scaring you half to death as you stirred beside the stove. you sighed as you made your way to the door, wiping your hands on the apron you had on.

you nearly tripped over your own feet seeing abby at your door. took everything in you not to rush and pull her in.

she was different than when you last saw her. new clothes, hair in a loose braid, cuts and blood all over. but you didn’t yet even open the door, she had much to say first.

“before i even start, know how sorry i am. know i didnt mean for it to be this long.” she winced as she leaned on her other leg. “i wanted to come, truly i did, but ive been running all over hell’s half acre. i had business.”

you huffed, pulling the door open and taking her with you to the kitchen. “im so sorry angel, please talk to me.” you sat her down on a stool before heading back to your dinner. “what do i need to do to make it all better?”

she quieted down when you didnt respond, watching you cook. she always loved watching you do household things. made her feel right at home again.

she smiled when you sat her bowl down infront of her, stopping and staring with a frown. she wanted to tell you how pretty you were but held off, you scared her quiet a bit. her hands moved to your hips but you slapped them away and grabbed the wet rag she hadnt noticed.

“eat your damn food.” she slowly spooned the meal into her mouth as you wiped at the old cuts on her face. she winced and pulled away but you pulled back. “stop movin’ when im tryna fix you up.” she nodded as softly as possible.

when you finished, you took the rag and half finished plate with you, pulling the fork from abbys mouth. “go wash up, you will not be dirty in my house.” she nodded, though you weren’t looking, and left to the bathroom.

the plate sat on the counter as you heard her harsh steps up your stairs. you held your head in your hands and took a shaky breath.

you didnt expect her to come back. figured it was final this time. and you certainly didnt expect her at your door like that. you had to pull it together though, couldnt let her see you like this.

you washed up and wiped the kitched till it was spotless before heading upstairs to abby. she was still sitting tending to her wounds when you found her. “you’re doing it wrong.” she dropped what she was doing and slouched. “let me.”

you were gentle with your touch, knowing it was always what she needed. she lived such a hard life that sometimes she needed a gentle touch, some loving. “what in the god damn world did you get yourself into this time?” abby sniffed and you looked up for the first time.

“i hate going out there. i dont wanna anymore.” you hushed her, pulled her close. “can i stay?”

“you can do whatever you want.” you kissed her face, running your fingers through her hair. “im here no matter what you decide.” she nodded and squeezed your hand. “now let me fix up these stitches. you have no idea what your doing. bless your heart.” she laughed softly and you copied. “seriously though, sit still for me.”

“im sorry i always leave.”

it was a quiet night. crickets too tired to so much as hum, and the cow sleeping to forget the chill of the dark. the house had a chill but you and abby huddled to ignore it. it was peaceful. you missed this peace.

you hummed in response, leaning on her chest to see her face. “so don’t.” but she said nothing. did nothing. “abby…”

she shook her head. “im sorry.”

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson fluff #abby x fem!reader #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson tlou2 #abby anderson tlou #abby the last of us #abby anderson x y/n #abby anderson x you #abby anderson angst #abby anderson

[bookshelf-dust]

the hurt is good

part i part ii part iii part iv part v part vi

billy hargrove x fem!reader

word count: 3,705

warnings: swearing, brief mentions of blood/anxious lip picking, anxiety attack, talk of self-harming behaviors, mentions of abuse/toxic relationships/neil, fluff

a/n: wow. hi! i’m sorry it took so long for me to get this out. school has been a lot lately. thank you for all the positive feedback on the previous parts and for sticking around! also this isn’t the last part. i lied. there will be one more. anyhow there’s a lot of heavy stuff in this part, but also a lot of love. i hope you enjoy it and maybe find something in it. love you loads and loads <3333

before you read, listen to: when it’s cold i’d like to die by moby and/or slipping through my fingers by ABBA

————

Billy did not hear from you yesterday, or the day before that. He hasn’t been worried, per say, because it’s not like he’ll die if he can’t speak to you at all times.

But today, on the third day, he starts to be a little upset by the absence of you.

He really doesn’t like it when it’s Nicky that calls him, rather than you.

“Are you busy today, hon’?” Her voice is sweet as always.

“No, I’m not,” Billy tells her. He licks his lips, a little uneasy.

“Do you think you could come over for a while?”She asks. “Y/N just left, which is big, but she’s going out with some old friends, and I’m a little worried. She had a really hard time getting over them, and I’ve got somewhere to be for awhile and I just don’t want her to be alone after all of this.”

Nicky stops, inhaling. She realizes she’s been rambling to her poor boy. She starts to apologize, and Billy stops her, laughing a little.

“I can do that, yeah. Who was she having lunch with? If you don’t mind me asking.”

He can hear Nicky sigh.

“Nancy.”

————

Billy is on your front steps when you pull up. He’s smoking, but he stomps it out when he sees you.

“Hey, pretty girl,” he says.

Your hands are shaking so bad that you drop your keys. Billy picks them up for you, and it’s only when he looks you over that he realizes something’s not right.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

You’re wringing your hands continuously, as if trying to prevent doing something else. He steps closer to you, because you’re biting his lip, and he goes to pull it free like he always does.

There’s blood on the tip of his thumb when he pulls it away.

“Y/N, you’ve made yourself bleed.”

You lick your lips, tasting metal. You blink at him. Billy looks closer at your mouth, realizing there’s a welt and that it’s swollen on one side.

“Come on and let me clean it up, okay?”

You nod and let the boy lead you inside your home. Billy tries to get you to sit on the counter, but you stop him.

“I just need a second,” you say.

It’s the first thing you’ve said to him thus far, and Billy finds himself relieved to hear your voice, even if the shakiness of it matches that of your hands.

You use your hands to brace yourself against the counter, leaning your head forward to face the floor. You close your eyes and try to breathe.

Billy doesn’t know what to do, so he rubs his hand up and down the curve of your spine. It feels warm against your back.

He kisses the crown of your head and suddenly you straighten, a slightly panicked look in your eye, though Billy can tell you’re trying to repress it.

“I need you to help me,” you tell him, running your hands down your face.

“Anything,” Billy says, worried over your state of being.

“I’m having an anxiety attack and I need you to help calm me down because my heart is beating so fast that I feel like I can’t breathe and everything is shaking and I just—I just, I need you.”

“To talk to me or something. I need you to be here with me for a minute.”

“Okay.” He doesn’t need convincing.

Billy brings his hands to your face, stroking his thumbs over your unusually warm cheeks. His eyes dart all over you.

“Look at me,” he says.

You nod, locking your eyes with his. You study his eyelashes, the way they kiss at the corners and leave shadows on the tops of his cheeks in the light.

“Breathe with me.”

“Okay.”

In and out. In and out. You focus on the way Billy is breathing, and that seems to help. You watch the steady rise and fall of his chest rather than worrying about the feeling in yours.

“How long do they usually last?” Billy inquires. “The heart palpitations.”

“Little while. Half hour, little less, little more. Depends on if I can get myself calmed down.”

Billy presses his lips to your forehead, keeping them there for a moment. They’re chapped, but it’s still chilly outside, so it makes sense. The cold is the same reason for the cracks in the skin on the back of your hands.

“Sit up on the counter for me, baby. I’m gonna get you some water, okay? I’ll be right back, I promise.”

You do as he says, balancing yourself on the edge of the bathroom vanity. Your tongue darts out to swipe over your lip, and Billy was right. You can feel the swelling and the welt he mentioned.

You’ve always done it when stressed or uncomfortable. It’s not always this bad though. You just kept going and going after lunch today, even after it had started to bleed.

The boy returns as he’d said he would, a glass of water in hand. He gives it to you and watches to make sure you’re successfully drinking.

“Can I look at it?” Billy gestures vaguely in the direction of your lip.

“Uh huh.” You fight the urge to cover your mouth like you have before, like when your mother has noticed it’s scabbed.

Billy uses his thumb to press on your lip, examining the damage you’ve done to it. He’s chewed his before when anxious, but never like this. But he guesses he’s expressed these feelings you’re having in other ways.

He takes the change to pull at your lip a little too, noticing you’ve torn at the inside just as well as the outside.

“It hurt?”

You snort. “No. Feels great.”

Billy rolls his eyes at you, and then he’s feeling around in his pockets. You take another big sip of water while you’re observing him. It’s almost empty, so you decide to finish it. He waits for you to do so.

When you have, Billy swipes his pinky along the edge of your mouth to catch a drop of water. He presents what he’d been searching for: a little pot of chapstick. He figures if you’ve got something on your lips you can’t fuck them up as easily.

“You gonna let me put this on you?” He asks, features soft.

“Kiss it better first?”

Billy smirks, proud of your ability to flirt with him.

“I shouldn’t. Should leave it alone until it heals some.”

You pout.

He kisses you anyways.

When he pulls away, he unscrews the lid to the balm and you hook your fingers in his belt loops. He dips his index finger in and brings it to your mouth, spreading it over the sore spot and then over the remaining expanse of your lips.

You rub them together after he’s finished.

“Thank you.” Billy nods, returning the container to the depths of his jean pockets.

“Will you tell me what’s got you so worked up?” He helps you off of the counter. You leave the bathroom and head to your bedroom. He follows without a second thought.

You gesture for him to sit down, but you remain standing so that you can pace as you speak.

“I saw Nancy today.”

“Yeah?” Billy knows this, and you know he does, but he wants you to let it all out.

“Yeah,” you start. “She asked me how I was doing. I told her that I was doing okay.”

“And she said ‘You must be doing better if you’re out by yourself, doing big girl stuff.’ What the fuck does that even mean, Billy?” It’s a rhetorical question. One he doesn’t answer.

“She made it sound like I was incapable of being anything but a loner. Like I can’t take care of myself or something? It just got me thinking about how she always thought I was so odd for not being like her.”

Billy wishes you would sit down. Your pacing is stressing him out.

“Then Nancy asked me if I was seeing anyone, and I said you.”

You sit, and Billy’s shoulders relax.

“She acted surprised, Billy.”

“She said, ‘I guess I’m just shocked. I guess I thought he wasn’t someone that really dated.’ And then, ‘You know, I know we aren’t really close anymore, but you could so do better than him.’”

You’re standing again. Billy realizes that you’re pissed off. He’s never seen you this way before. He kind of likes it.

“And she’s basing this off of, what, one interaction she’s had with you? Whatever she hears around school? Shit, she doesn’t even know you. She doesn’t even know me anymore, and the fact that she’s just blatantly giving me relationship advice?”

“Billy, I yelled at her.”

He laughs. Tosses his head back and laughs. He wishes he could’ve seen you rip Nancy Wheeler a new one. In fact, he would’ve paid to do so.

You start grinning at him. He’s so proud of you.

“I just—she made me so mad and I just started shouting at her. It just felt so unfair, the way she was acting. I only agreed to go today because I thought I might get closure after feeling forgotten about for so long. And I told her that.”

“She claimed she didn’t forget about me, but that she just ‘found a different social circle.’ Fuck! So I told her that she had no right telling me what to do with my life when she sure as shit never cared before. And I couldn’t let her talk about you either.”

You finish, setting your hands on your hips. Billy stands and takes your face into his hands again.

“I’m proud of you, Y/N. That you went out today and then stood up for yourself. The yelling is pretty badass too. And I appreciate you defending me. It’s nice to know you’d do that even when I’m not there.”

“Of course I would.” You grab his hand and kiss his palm. “Thank you.”

He nods. “So how come you fucked up your lip then?”

“Trying to deal with it, I guess. I felt bad the whole way home. Like maybe I’d been a bitch or something.”

“Hey, no. You aren’t a bitch for wanting better and for saying so.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m positive.”

The both of you have been so caught up in handling this that you didn’t hear Nicky come home, or wander through the house putting groceries away. You only realize she’s there when her voice comes from across the hall.

“He’s right, honeybee! Not a bitch!” She exclaims, and then she’s shutting the door to her room. She just needed to make sure you heard that. She’s proud of you too.

You bury your face in Billy’s neck and he’s laughing so much that you have to move your head.

“I hate you both.”

“I bet you do. Guess you won’t need any make-it-better kisses then.”

“Asshole.”

“Yeah. Nope. No more.”

“Please?” You grab hold of his hips.

Billy stares at you. He’s going to break. You both know it. But he can’t resist the urge to pretend like he won’t, just for a second.

He kisses you, once, twice.

When he pulls away he puts an arm around you, his hand resting on the small of your back. His fingertips slip just underneath the waistband of your jeans. Suddenly he looks very serious.

“Have you done that before?” He asks. You know what he means. And you know the answer.

“Yes,” you say. Billy closes his his for just a second. Something about composure.

“Do you—is it to hurt yourself?”

You’re quiet for a moment, thinking. Trying to articulate a response to this. It’s an anxious habit, sure. Sometimes you’re picking at your lip without even realizing, and you quit when you do.

But other times, maybe that is the case. You pick and bite until your lip is bleeding, until it’s swollen, until it hurts to eat or drink.

“Sometimes.”

Billy inhales and you can see the way his chest shakes.

“Talk to me,” he says. He thinks about chewing on his thumb nail or lighting up. It’s the same thing. A coping mechanism.

“I usually do it if I feel like I need to shut everything out. It’s a distraction from big feelings. Maybe like a punishment if I feel stupid or if I’ve embarrassed myself.”

“You ever told anyone this before?” Billy has pulled you closer than you thought possible, his arm around your back snug like he’s afraid to let you go.

“Just you.”

Billy feels a pang in his chest at that. Just you. Him.

“I don’t want you to shut them out anymore. You feel something big, you talk to me about it, yeah?”

“Okay.” You look so vulnerable. Like he’s looking at a part of yourself you’ve never shown anyone before.

“I don’t want you to hurt yourself. Will you work on this with me?”

“Only if you work on the smoking with me.”

Billy rests his forehead against yours, exhales through his nose.

“Okay.”

————

Billy’s staying the night again. You’re in the shower, so he’s sitting at the counter in your kitchen. He offered to help Nicky fix dinner or wash dishes or do something, but she downright refused.

He’s turned his head to look at a picture of you on the counter. Your senior picture. You look so pretty.

This means that the side of his face is in Nicky’s direct line of sight. The side that Neil hit. He side that’s bruised, despite his hoping it wouldn’t.

Nicky looks up, feeling a jolt in her chest. Something in her just knows. If Billy had been in a fight, you would’ve told her. She knows you would’ve. But if it was a non-school fight, those chances are slim.

She knows. Every cell in her body screams with it.

“Billy, honey? Can I ask you something?”

The boy turns back to face your mother, spinning the ring on his middle finger around and around. “Sure.”

She moves to face the sink so as to not embarrass him.

“How long?”

Billy’s fingers freeze. She knows. Of course she knows. He thinks about pretending he doesn’t have clue what she means. But he knows she’d see right through that.

He buries his face in his hands. “Since I was a kid. Since he couldn’t take it out on my mom anymore.”

Nicky sets the plate she’d been holding down to dry and drains the water from the sink. Dishes can wait.

“Billy, you don’t have to hide from me. You’re safe here. I think we’ve made that pretty clear, sweetheart.”

The boy straightens and sits on his hands.

“I’m assuming Y/N knows? Probably already looked at it?”

He nods. “Yeah.”

Nicky approaches the other side of the counter from where he sits and clasps her hands. “You know that you can come here anytime you need to, right?”

“I know.”

“Y/N said Max is your step-sister. Is your father aggressive towards her or your step-mother?”

Billy hates being asked these questions but for some reason he feels no urge to fight it. He knows Nicky means no harm and only wants the best for him.

“He’s never laid a hand on Max, no. I wouldn’t let that happen. I’m not really around Susan much, though, but I’ve never seen her with anything or heard him do anything. He screams at her sometimes, though. He’s a piece of shit. He doesn’t treat her any better than he did my mom. They deserve better. Both of them.”

Nicky quirks a brow. “And you don’t?”

Billy’s breath catches. “I don’t know.”

“You do. You deserve the world, hon’.”

Billy blinks, hard. “Thank you.”

“Just telling you the truth, kiddo.”

Nicky goes quiet for a moment, playing with her own rings. One of them you got for her when you were twelve. It has her birthstone set into it.

“You’re eighteen, Billy. Technically your dad doesn’t have any claims to you anymore.” She’s slowly plotting, a steady stream of thoughts forming in her mind.

“Supposing you want to stay with Max, or even in your own home—because I can’t imagine you’d want to be uprooted again—do you think that Susan is capable of taking care of herself and the both of you? Say if Neil weren’t around?”

Billy contemplates this. He’s trying to get past the knowledge that there’s an adult in his life actively and genuinely trying to help him and make sure he’s safe. No one’s ever had a heart-to-heart with him like this. Frankly, he’s at a loss.

“I suppose so. I mean she took care of Max before. And Max was a pretty happy kid, I think. You know, internally. If you look past the sarcasm.”

Nicky laughs. It’s the kind of sound that you miss when you haven’t heard it in awhile.

“I think Max only got sort of reclusive once Neil came in and sort of pushed her dad out. I don’t think I helped either. But yeah, I-I think she could. Take care of us.”

“And I feel wrong saying this, because she’s not my mother, and it’s her life, but I think she needs better. If she wants Max back then she needs to leave Neil. Because Susan is losing Max. I can see it.”

Billy hears the shower shut off from down the hall, the sound of the curtain being pushed aside.

“What if I talked to Susan? Would that make you uncomfortable? Maybe I can get through to her. About Neil. And I can talk to Max, or I can back off.”

He hears the bathroom door open. Sees a flash of you across the hallway in a towel, then the slam of your own bedroom door. It makes him laugh.

Nicky knows exactly what you’ve done. You’ve done the same thing since you were a kid. It warms her heart to see him laugh at little things like that.

“No. It wouldn’t make me uncomfortable,” Billy says. “I would appreciate that, actually. But maybe let me talk to Max first?”

“Anything you need, honey. And I want you to know that this is a safe space, okay? If you ever need somewhere to stay. And the same goes for Max. If she needs to get away or anything.”

Billy looks up at Nicky and she has the kindest smile he’s ever seen. He knows she means everything she’s saying.

He has the urge to hug her and so he does. He hasn’t had a mom to hug in so long.

————

Billy’s driving again. It seems this is the only time he can get himself to talk about the hard stuff with her.

“Max.”

“Huh?” She’s reading a comic book. He doesn’t know how she does that. He’d probably hurl.

“Nicky wants to help Susan leave Neil.”

Max doesn’t move or close the comic, but she does stare at the page for an awfully long time. “So what does that mean?”

“I don’t know, exactly. But I was wondering…do you want me to leave too? Or can I stay?”

Billy has never sounded this raw and emotional around her before. It’s enough to make her face him.

“You think you have to leave?”

“I don’t know if you or Susan are going to want me to stay.”

Max sighs. “I want you to stay. It’d be weird to not have someone in the next room with horrible music playing. Do you want to go?”

“No,” he says, fingers gripping the steering wheel.

“Then stay.”

Stay.

————

“So you’ve verbally brutalized two of the Wheeler women in the last couple of weeks?”

You’re laying on Max’s bed. You can’t help but notice it’s softer than Billy’s but you try not to ponder that for too long.

Susan and Neil aren’t here.

“I wonder if Mike knows this. That he’s got a predatory mother.”

“I don’t know.” You roll onto your back and stare at the posters on her walls.

“If it helps,” she says, pasting a new sticker on her skateboard, “I never liked Nancy anyways. Kinda bitchy.”

You snort, looking at her sticker as she presents it to you. “Very nice,” you say.

“Lucas got it for me.”

“That was sweet of him.”

This time she snorts.

There’s the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. “Uh oh,” you say. “The beast has awoken.”

Max laughs hard enough that she has to slap a hand over her mouth when he appears in the doorway.

Billy looks at you with a scowl on his face before approaching Max’s bed. He flops down on top of you and buries his face in your neck.

“You left me,” he says.

It’s true. You’d been in his room with him, snuggling, though he refuses to call it that. He’d fallen asleep on you, but you didn’t have a book or anything, so after a while, spine aching, you slipped out and left him to nap.

A glance at Max and she’s making a gagging motion at you. You glare toward the sticker she just put on and she rolls her eyes, cornered.

“You fell asleep. I wanted you to rest. And my back started to hurt.” Billy grunts, and you notice the mess that his hair has become. You point it out to Max. She starts grinning and so do you, and it’s as if he can sense it.

“Stop.”

“Not doing anything.”

Billy lifts his head to look at you, brow furrowed and eyes puffy with sleep. There are even sheet marks on the side of his face.

“You’re conspiring.” He collapses back into your chest. “Little shits, both of you.”

You laugh and he whines again because you’ve jostled him.

You look at Max and she crosses her legs over Billy’s back, using her brother as a foot rest. He’s too sleepy to complain. She puts a pillow under her head and settles in, seemingly ready to take her own nap.

Shit, you think. Might as well. And you close your eyes too, petting Billy’s hair as you do. He smiles into you. You can feel it.

And it’s the best nap you’ve ever had.

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x fem!reader #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove comfort #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove angst #billy stranger things #billy stranger things fic #stranger things fic #max mayfield #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove series #savannah’s fics

[analoceits]

sides as mitski songs purely based off vibes.

patton - francis forever

"i look up at the gaps of sunlight i miss you more than anything"

roman - i bet on losing dogs

"ill be there by their side losing by their side."

logan - last words of a shooting star

"i always wanted to die clean and pretty but id be too busy on working days"

janus - goodbye, my danish sweetheart

"maybe when you tell your friends, you can tell them what you saw in me, and not the way i used to be"

remus - washing machine heart

"baby, though ive closed my eyes i know who you pretend i am"

virgil - first love/late spring

"so please hurry leave me, i cant breath please dont say you love me"

#sanders sides #tss #ts sides #sasi #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders

[thelustybraavosimaid]

...

....

.....

I want to specifically talk about book!Jon here because I'm pretty sure this person doesn't know a goddamn thing about Jon in the books or his personality to even remotely reach this conclusion. I'm, quite frankly, confused at this response. So I'd like to provide some quotes:

I would need to steal her if I wanted her love, but she might give me children. I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. A son was something Jon Snow had never dared dream of, since he decided to live his life on the Wall. I could name him Robb. (Jon XII, ASoS)

If a child was something Jon had always wanted, as is clearly stated here, why would he force Ygritte to get rid of his own kid?

Let's not pretend like he doesn't love her, either. Was the beginning of their relationship dubious? Absolutely. But he did love her:

"Yes." His voice was thick. "First we'll live."

She grinned at that, showing Jon the crooked teeth that he had somehow come to love. Wildling to the bone, he thought again, with a sick sad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He flexed the fingers of his sword hand, and wondered what Ygritte would do if she knew his heart. (Jon V, ASoS)

--

Ygritte was much in his thoughts as well. He remembered the smell of her hair, the warmth of her body...and the look on her face as she slit the old man's throat. You were wrong to love her, a voice whispered. You were wrong to leave her, a different voice insisted.

...

"Who is Ygritte?" Donal Noye asked pointedly.

"A woman of the free folk." How could he explain Ygritte to them? She's warm and smart and funny and she can kiss a man or slit his throat. "She's with Styr, but she's not...she's young, only a girl, in truth, wild, but she..." She killed an old man for building a fire. His tongue felt thick and clumsy. The milk of the poppy was clouding his wits. "I broke my vows with her. I never meant to, but..." It was wrong. Wrong to love her, wrong to leave her... (Jon VI, ASoS)

And he did mourn her.

Though Maester Aemon said his wound was healing well, Jon bore other scars, deeper than the ones around his eye. He grieves for his wildling girl, and for his brothers. (Samwell IV, ASoS)

--

She stood beneath the scorched stones of the Lord Commander's Tower, cloaked in darkness and in memory. The light of the moon was in her hair, her red hair kissed by fire. When he saw that, Jon's heart leapt into his mouth. "Ygritte," he said. (Jon VI, ADwD)

It goes without saying that Jon is one of the most progressive protagonists in the series. He:

•despises rape,

•advocates for those perceived "weaker" for not fitting the typical Westerosi gender standards (i.e. Sam and Satin),

•breaks the mould of Night's Watch traditions for hundreds of years by allowing freefolk men and women ages twelve and up to join.

Jon Snow values bodily autonomy.

Moreover:

Burning dead children had ceased to trouble Jon Snow; live ones were another matter. Two kings to wake the dragon. The father first and then the son, so both die kings. The words had been murmured by one of the queen's men as Maester Aemon had cleaned his wounds. Jon had tried to dismiss them as his fever talking. Aemon had demurred. "There is power in a king's blood," the old maester had warned, "and better men than Stannis have done worse things than this." The king can be harsh and unforgiving, aye, but a babe still on the breast? Only a monster would give a living child to the flames. (Jon I, ADwD)

--

Once outside and well away from the queen’s men, Val gave vent to her wroth. "You lied about her beard. That one has more hair on her chin than I have between my legs. And the daughter…her face…"

"Greyscale."

"The grey death is what we call it."

"It is not always mortal in children."

"North of the Wall it is. Hemlock is a sure cure, but a pillow or a blade will work as well. If I had given birth to that poor child, I would have given her the gift of mercy long ago."

This was a Val that Jon had never seen before. "Princess Shireen is the queen’s only child."

"I pity both of them. The child is not clean.”

"If Stannis wins his war, Shireen will stand as heir to the Iron Throne."

"Then I pity your Seven Kingdoms."

"The maesters say greyscale is not—"

"The maesters may believe what they wish. Ask a woods witch if you would know the truth. The grey death sleeps, only to wake again. The child is not clean!"

"She seems a sweet girl. You cannot know—"

"I can. You know nothing, Jon Snow.” Val seized his arm. “I want the monster out of there. Him and his wet nurses. You cannot leave them in that same tower as the dead girl.”

Jon shook her hand away. "She is not dead."

"She is. Her mother cannot see it. Nor you, it seems. Yet death is there." She walked away from him, stopped, turned back. "I brought you Tormund Giantsbane. Bring me my monster."

"If I can, I will.”

"Do. You owe me a debt, Jon Snow.”

Jon watched her stride away. She is wrong. She must be wrong. Greyscale is not so deadly as she claims, not in children. (Jon XI, ADwD)

Not to mention the conversation he has with Tormund:

"You are a free man now, and Ygritte is a free woman. What dishonor if you lay together?"

"I might get her with child."

"Aye, I'd hope so. A strong son or a lively laughing girl kissed by fire, and where's the harm in that?"

Words failed him for a moment. "The boy...the child would be a bastard."

"Are bastards weaker than other children? More sickly, more like to fail?"

"No, but—"

"You're bastard-born yourself. And if Ygritte does not want a child, she will go to some woods witch and drink a cup o' moon tea. You do not come into it, once the seed is planted."

"I will not father a bastard."

Tormund shook his shaggy head. "What fools you kneelers be. Why did you steal the girl if you don't want her?"

"Steal? I never..." (Jon II, ASoS)

So with that in mind, why would he force a woman of the freefolk — a group of people he had come to appreciate, and his first love — to drink moon tea? If she wanted to, she'd do it herself. But he would not force her. That is not how the freefolk work and Jon knows it.

#asoiaf #ramble

[lackablazeical]

Alright, I was up all night figuring this AU out because I’m new to it and it seems interesting. But, I do have some questions.

- What if Usagi was broken enough to actually take his own life? Would Leo attempt to stop him before it actually works? Or what would happen if Leo was too late to save Usagi?

- If it was possible, how would Raph react if he lost Mrs. Cuddles one day?

- Did Mikey get hurt enough one day to the point he was unconscious for more than a few days? How did his brothers react to it?

I DESPERATELY NEED TO KNOW, THIS AU IS KILLING ME MAN 😭

Glad you love it!!!! Hopefully you didn't use too much mental power, lol! Sleep is important!

Okay, now questions (good questions, at that):

- Leo absolutely would attempt to stop him. In the Canon of later years, Usagi is actually on a sort of 'watch' system incase he does try to hurt himself. Typically this involves Leo being around him, but if Leo isn't avaliable, it is usually Shelldon who will make sure Usagi doesn't SH or something similar. Leo would absolutely restrain Usagi or keep Usagi alive/conscious, he wants Usagi to last as long as possible.

If Leo was too late, and Usagi died, Leo would just become a husk of himself. He would become depressed, withdrawn, etc. He'd lash out as well, likely to Usagi's brothers specifically. If Usagi dies, Leo isn't keeping Ken and Ishi around. I can imagine that when Usagi dies, Leo refuses to let go of the body for just. Days/weeks, and only let's go bc he's so dehydrated and hungry that he can't fight Donnie pulling the, ya know, Rotting Corpse out of his arms.

- Lose his complete and utter shit. The entire Lair is getting torn apart looking for her until she's found or they can make/find a new one.

- I could see that happening 100%, though it hasn't happened in anything canon. Probably just a nice mini-coma after a week long bender or something, or a pretty hard fight in the nexus.

Leo would absolutely not want to leave Mikey alone. He'd be attached to Mikey's side and waiting like a pathetic soggy cat for him to wake up. Leo would be just so sad bc he misses his little brother :( Donnie wouldn't really LIKE the fact Leo would always be jostling/moving Mikey, but he also can't really STOP him sooooo. He picks his battles.

Donnie would just be in medical mode first, angry protective big brother second. Taking care and making sure he's stable, any injuries he has stay clean and wrapped, etc etc. The second Mikey wakes back up he's getting beaten with a belt tho, for making Donnie WORRY and also wasting his IV DRIPS

Raph would just wanna lurk and be around Mikey when possible, may leave one of his lesser stuffies with him. Probably also the one having to peel Leo off of Mikey if Donnie needs to do something that requires Leo keeps his personal space, lmao. Raph just stays close and spends time with Mike, even after he wakes up, just to make sure he feels better.

THE AU IS KILLING YOU? GOOD. DIE/J

#addams! tmnt au #rottmnt au #addams! leo #addams! usagi #addams! mikey #addams! hamatos #addams! leosagi #addams! raph

[levmada]

Hey Gee 💙

OMG Congrats on 2500 followers!! You deserve this so much!!!

May I request some smutty canonverse Levihan [no surprise here, of course ;) ] with:

[ TENSION ]  one muse is patching up the other’s injuries which leads to intense eye contact,  lingering touches and them finally crashing their lips against each other’s. 

No need to say you can add hurt/comfort to the equation 😏

Thank you so much!!

Sending love & best wishes your way 🫂💙

val frjigrjtgitjer that kitty levi gif was watching me the whole time i was writing (amazing moral support). thank you so much!!! (hurt comfort will be served)

as a general note, sorry i've dropped off the face of the earth a little. ive been writing a shit ton, but because my mental health has been utter garbage lol

[ TENSION ]  one muse is patching up the other’s injuries which leads to intense eye contact, lingering touches and them finally crashing their lips against each other’s. 

//canonverse, after the reiss (fatass titan) fight, banter, nb/afab hange, smut at the end, some description of minor injury (including stitches) | 1.0k

participate in my event here!

“Right. Let me guess, you were planning on doing it ‘later’, but then you heard me coming and that’s why that shit is spilled everywhere.”

Hange’s office is clean, by their standards. It's their lab that's suffered in Hange's stubborn haste to dissect the Reiss family's secrets despite the nasty injury they sustained when fighting Kenny's squad.

They finally came up to their office this afternoon to catch up on routine paper-pushing. A few books scattered unceremoniously across their desk, the organized mess it usually is, on top of the inkwell that needs refilling.

They sit on the couch pushed up against the side wall, a lantern and the gutted contents of a first-aid kid laid out on the coffee table in front of them.

Hange themself doesn't look too bad, besides frazzled to see him here. He can smell that they showered earlier, on top of their fluffy hair in its un-brushed, undone state. One strap of their camisole has fallen off their shoulder, the side bandaged where their shoulder meets their chest.

Finally they let out a big sigh. "Maybe. The question is, did you come to embarrass me, or embarrass me and make sure I don't die from my clearly fatal injury."

Levi is nonplussed. “Infections are fatal.”

They groan. “Then I’m pretty sure I’m fine.”

“Pretty sure, huh?”

Levi pushes off the doorway, and shuts it on his way over to them.

Them, resigned to their fate, scoots to make room so he can make a place at the table to sit down.

He begins picking out the supplies he needs: gauze, tape, and disinfectant solution. It's not complicated, but he knows what it is to see it as a chore.

"Alright," he murmurs. "Come here."

"Fine fine," they titter.

They sit next to him, angled a little so he has easy access to the injury. Though it'd be easier, they balance their weight not on the table, but above his knee.

He doesn't point it out. Doesn't want to. Everyone's been busy reeling and planning for the expedition to seal Wall Maria once and for all. He'd be lying if he said he was just wandering the halls and decided to show up.

Their eyes meet as he places his hands on Hange's waist, and hooks his fingers under the hems to get it off, a little slower than necessary. With the knowledge that their arm is sore—though they won't show it—he braces their bare bicep as he peels the stretchy material off and over their head. He folds it neatly before resting it beside him.

They're binding their chest. Knowing Hange, it's practically guaranteed they haven't taken a break in a while. And them knowing Levi, they've got the bandages halfway unraveled before he joins them. Their fingers brush more than once. Hange's are warm.

That done, their heavy breasts spill out from the material. They try to mask their relief as always, but they're easy to read.

He rolls the bandages up with efficient neatness, intentionally ignoring their nudity despite the tension between them growing palpable. He's not finished yet.

The wound sits just underneath their pronounced collarbones, where their sun-kissed skin is a touch more pale. His palm lays not on their shoulder, but the space between their breasts to brace them as he peels off the old tape, along with the gauze.

Not too bad. The black squiggle of stitches is surrounding by a mild pink, it's healing, and not radiating any heat indicative of infection.

Their gazes again meet. There's a gleam to Hange's brown eyes that make it hard to break. "Not bad."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Nope," he lies, just to be coy.

"Mhm... It's okay. I see how much you care."

He worries the inside of his cheek with his teeth as he spreads the gel and tapes the gauze. Their touch is creeping up his inner thigh, but no closer, warming up desire deep in his core.

He puts the supplies away. Just as the kit clicks shut, for the first time he can't swallow a small huff as their hand locks on his belt buckle. They both know he's hard.

It's when he's finished up and pretending to inspect his work for mistakes that Hange leans in, their lips brushing up against his neck. He brings his hand up, carding his fingers through their hair, pushing them to kiss his neck properly. His eyes flutter. It really has been a while since they've found the time to be alone like this, and it shows in the both of them's barely restrained advances.

His other hand slides up their waist and closes on their breast, half-stroking their hard nipple, half-simply appreciating its weight and warmth.

It feels like they come to an agreement without speaking a word, ending in Levi pulling them closer. The sound of his belt buckle clinking is loud, and his whine as their teeth scrape his neck.

"Hange," he whispers on bated breath.

"Levi."

That's the breaking point. They drag him forward by his hair and crashes their lips together, immediately parting for their tongue to lap hungrily into his mouth. He groans.

That's not enough for long, and Hange throws their arms around him, bringing them both falling backwards onto the couch. They moan down his throat as his weight comes crashing down.

They barely manage to separate for the second it takes for him to tear his shirt over his head, or the shift apart to get Hange's fucking pants off.

They toss them away, while Levi's already kissing his way down their body with just enough pressure to tease, but with none of the patience he's usually capable of maintaining. Not with the way Hange's pulling his hair, guiding his head down.

He skips their thighs entirely, instead hoisting their legs over his shoulders so he can practically taste the heat from their wet pussy, their swollen clit peeking from between their lips.

He groans, and goes down to taste them for himself.

levihan's masterlist • main masterlist

#2.5k.event #levihan smut #levi x hanji #levi x hange #hange x levi #levihan #levihan fic #levihan fanfiction

[swaggypsyduck]

Why Garnacho is most hated Man U player?

Hi anon! so im not a man utd fan but im a fan-in-law bc of my mutuals. sorry if u wanted an answer specific to garnacho but gonna generalize to all the young menaces.

ive noticed a recent trend in football where youngsters can't be youngsters anymore. they must be the perfect player both on the pitch and off the pitch instantly. they should play clean and nice and look pretty for the fans. it's like there's no fun in the game anymore. and everything is perfectly curated for media/marketing.

there was a long twt thread during the wc22 when jude bellingham let out "you f*ckin c*nt" really loudly and ppl were "disappointed" and saying "we thought he was better than this". of course most ppl thought it was funny bc sh*thousery is always funny but he received a surprising amount out backlash for it??? as if the ppl who type it r perfect angels themselves.

another example is pablo gavi who is getting a lot of crap for his "die for the badge" rough housing and overall dramatics. even as a madridista i love watching him play bc it reminds me of the good ol' days of la liga where there was more spirit in the game and more passion for ur club.

it's like the idea of sh*thousery from young players is not allowed anymore. i mean ramos and pepe used to get a lot of crap for it from opposing teams fans. but not as much as im seeing fans of the player's OWN teams. bc tell me why some barça fans on twt were saying to sell gavi??? WHY??? LOOK AT THE PASSION HE HAS FOR UR CLUB!!! KEEP HIM!!! thankfully these seem to be a minority voice.

same w garnacho. i see man utd fans defending him but u'll see most of the "insults" being about his immaturity as if the guy isn't 18yrld...

bottom line is the common theme of these players that are disliked or get lots of criticism is that they're young and like to play it a bit rough/talk smack.

@cryingforcrocodiles if ud like to add any specific man utd info pls do!!

#anon #asks #im bias but i looooooove a lil bit of fighting 🤭🤭 #makes the games more interesting #gavi wouldve THRIVED in early 2000 serie A or 2010 la liga #jude has the perfect media curated image but he lets out one swear and suddenly it's like he betrayed yall🙄🙄 #and jude isn't even considered a menace #let these boys live!!

[yellowjacketsgayfanfic]

Callie accidentally shoots you in the woods and Misty takes you to the hospital

SUBMISSION: The last episode left me devastated so I want to request a Misty x reader, where reader gets shot or seriously injured in some way but Misty manages to get her stable enough to get reader to a hospital. And then they both comfort each other after both being so scared, please and thank you

Everything had happened so fast, it almost didn't feel real. It happened the way it always did. When the hunt began, you disappeared and retreated far back into the recesses of your mind. You existed somewhere in childhood, safe, loved, and warm. When you came-to, there was an incredible pain in your thigh. The earth span, and there was a terrible commotion. Screaming, crying, blood pooling out of your body. This time, you passed out.

Callie, Shauna's daughter, had accidentally pulled the trigger on you. The bullet thankfully didn't hit any serious artery, but it was a pretty bad wound. The bullet had exploded and there was shrapnel in several areas of your leg.

When you woke up, you were being carried on a stretcher to an ambulance. Misty was by your side, sobbing her eyes out. "Misty?" You whispered, your voice hoarse and your throat dry.

"Y/N, oh my God. Please stay with me." Misty sobbed, holding onto your hand for dear life. "Please don't die."

"Is Natalie okay?" You choked.

She shook her head, shaking hard. "She's dead, Y/N."

You swallowed hard, trying your best to moisten your mouth. "Misty, I'm going to be okay."

They got you onto the ambulance, and Misty called out. "I'm going to follow the ambulance, okay? I'll be there at the hospital."

You passed out again, unable to respond to her.

***

You woke up again to the sound of a heart monitor beeping along to your steady heart rate. There was an aching in your leg, but the environment smelled clean and sterile. There was an IV in your hand. Misty was next to you in the bed, curled up to your side. She was asleep.

That was probably for the best, you figured. If Natalie was dead, you couldn't imagine what was going on in her head. On top of that, you were seriously injured and she probably wasn't sure if you would make it. That's terrifying for someone who has always lost the people closest to them.

She stirred, her sleep being cut short probably due to your waking.

"Y/N?" She croaked.

"Hi, Misty." You replied, trying to clear your throat.

She jumped off the bed and ran to get a class of water for you which you accepted graciously.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"My leg hurts, but I'm okay." You responded honestly. "Are you okay?"

Misty sniffled. "You can't die, Y/N. Ever."

"I'll try not to." You joked.

"It's not funny." Misty said firmly. "You can't die. I can't take it."

You patted the spot she had previously been in, and she sat. "I'm not going anywhere, Misty. I promise."

She laid down once more and rested her head on your shoulder, softly crying into your hospital gown.

"I don't know if everything will be okay, so I wont promise that. But I can promise I have no intention of leaving you here alone. Alright?"

She nodded. "Okay."

#yellowjackets #misty quigley #fanfic #fluff #comfort #yellowjackets 2x09 #oneshot #drabble #submission #open for submissions #x reader

[hella1975]

hella can u give me a visual description of some of ur ocs for toab i need to draw them

anon is facing the classic dilemma of taob readers since the dawn of time (august 2020) and for once im gonna actually do something about it so i present unto you, artists of tumblr dot com, an exhaustive rundown of taob oc descriptions:

kanut: i feel like kanut is one whose appearance is pretty solidified now. he has white hair that falls down to the base of his back that he typically pulls back into a half-knot, with a short white beard. go grandpa go. he's described as generally having a 'rough' 'sea-faring' apperance bc he's one of those people that really doesnt give a fuck about appearance especially when it has nothing to do with his healing, so while he wears the typical water tribe clothing, he'll usually have his sleeves rolled up or stains on his tunic etc. he has blue eyes and isn't very muscled because he stays out of all combat due to being the healer, but he's one of the taller tribesmen. he has those scars on his hands that cover his palms and knuckles and quite sharp features.

chena: COLOSSAL freak of a man. like i wanted him to be comically large seeing as i was working with a kids show universe where shit like that happens, so zuko literally just stands past this man's ELBOW. fucking giganotosaurus rex. he's incredibly broad and muscled as well as just tall, very thick-necked and beefy face. like it's v important to me that chena's muscle isn't the streamlined, airbrushed kind; he's a total beefcake. he's COVERED in scars like he has a specific slit in his eyebrow that needs to be mentioned bc ZUKO GAVE IT HIM but aside that honestly go ham with the scars. his eyes are grey but more of a blueish grey, and he has dark brown hair that he does quite detailed braids in to pull back out of his face and fall down his back.

tomkin: he's v skinny/lanky and trying very hard to look bigger than he is. he wears his dark brown hair in a warrior's wolf tail and effectively looks like an older, less-burdened-by-The-Horrors version of sokka. he does tend to style the braid part of his wolftail to come out of his hair a little though instead of lying flat bc he thinks it makes him look taller (it doesn't). his eyes are a very light blue.

nanook: he has shoulder-length hair that's a light brown colour but ive realised some people mean 'nearly blonde' when they say light brown whereas i just meant 'not nearly black' like a lot of the other warriors. he wears a bead on one of the front strands and it usually falls so that it's sitting by his jaw. nanook is the tallest of the tom nook & ko trio and he's pretty toned but more in a 'has actually grown into himself' kind of way than a 'seasoned warrior' kind of way. he has a round face and generally looks very steady and calm. he has a birthmark on his hand (between his thumb and forefinger) that looks like a wave and he wears ivory bracelets on each wrist.

aput: IDC WHAT YOU DO WITH APUT BUT KNOW HE'S HOT. HE IS THE FIT ONE OF THE SWT. HE'S THEIR CASANOVA. MAKE HIM ATTRACTIVE OR DIE BY MY BLADE. he has black hair that falls to around shoulder length and he doesnt usually style it in any way, and he's the second burliest in the group. he's got a much more lean muscle than chena and it makes him quicker, so fighting-wise those two are almost evenly matched (chena just wins out though. pure aggression will get you everywhere). aput has a sharp jaw and deep blue eyes

tulok: he's the smallest of the adults and has brown hair that falls to the middle of his back. he usually just braided it back or wore it in a style very similar to korra's with the blue ribbons, but since shuhon prison he's been wearing it in an earth kingdom braid. he's easily the most put together of the group bc he has a real thing for keeping clean and tidy, so his clothes are always pristine and his personal grooming is always up to date.

tovah: she's incredibly tall and lithe with sleek, black hair that falls to her hips that she wears in a PERFECT ponytail like not a HAIR out of place. she's all sharp angles and narrowed green eyes and she tends to wear earth kingdom uniform. her skin is tanned and she doesn't visibly carry any weapons on her unless she's undercover in the army and they're military-issued.

some references from beautiful fanart i have the absolute pleasure of being gifted! i wish i could put every bit of art ever made for my ocs here but im going mainly off whose showed up first when going through the tag and also any that i think just Really Captured how i personally see the character in my mind:

this portrait of kanut by @pyro-bee

atla-style tovah by @lordrei

tom nook (+ zuko) by @gloomybirdie

tovah elle woods supremacy by @herebutnotpresent

another pyro-bee kanut by @pyro-bee

tovah character sheet by @herebutnotpresent (this one is SUPER helpful)

and tons more under the 'taob art' tag if it helps!

#finally one place where all the characters descriptions are. it took me two and a half years #if u made art of taob before and had to do it the long way by trawling through the fic for any tiny description and are now screaming at me #then just know im very sorry..... hi gloomy..... #ask #taob asks #taob descriptions

[fallenclan]

and ive always wanted to die clean and pretty - minnieheartz - No Fandom [Archive of Our Own]

happier, prettier (jealousy, jealousy) - minnieheartz - No Fandom [Archive of Our Own]

hi im gonna write a new fic soon but anyway my salmon and moss + my brambletuft fics are up on ao3 for those who want to reread

-🍭 (90% of all my fic titles are mitski, marina, or olivia rodrigo lyrics. youve been warned)

RRRRRRRRR LOLLIPOP ANON I AM SHAKING YOUR FICS AROUND LIKE A WET RAG I LOVE THEM SM

#fallenasks #lollipop anon

[mamamittens]

As a distraction to Sad Thoughts™, yesterday I drew a concept design for Little Helper.

For context it's a shiny Chandelure for a pokemon story I'm crafting as a pick me up. Just scroll on if you aren't interested in me rambling about that and world building lol

Light and dark background for clarity. They're supposed to look like they have little fangs both above and below the lip... Thingy, but it didn't translate well in the end I suppose.

I like the overall design even though I'm not the biggest fan of shiny chandlure's color scheme. Went for 'expensive chandelier your grandmother paid a professional to clean instead of getting a Swiffer'. Don't get me wrong, I see what they were going for, but I think it could have been a bit more interesting. Like silver metal as well as the flame and body color? Idk, it IS better than Lucario's shiny though.

Why the hell they chose yellow I'll never understand. I'll die a hater for that one.

Anyway! I figured it would make sense that a professional breeder, breeding their own pokemon to assist in their business, would go out of their way to 'create' a stunning specimen. A sort of flex. And I liked the idea of stained glass. Might redraw this to lean more into that and maybe play with the colors more. But I wanted a basic design first, which I did! Hopefully it's cohesive before I start playing with the colors lol

Since I don't have such plebian concerns like budget or complicated pixel designs to translate into workable 3D art or whatever, I can just... Make it a Thing™ that Pokemon actually have some damn variety. I mean, we get that every so often in the anime, but it's a notable exception to the norm. And I get why, don't come at me, I promise I'm not bullying the 90s anime for not handcrafting hundreds of subtly unique designs for every instance of a species we ever see.

The point is that I don't have that problem. So if I want minccino to have different fur colors aside from Normal and Shiny, I can do that. Easily. Same with everything else. I doubt I'll go so deep into the weeds it's stuff like, this is a mixed breed Squirtle with lovedisc or magikarp in there. They'll generally still follow Pokemon logic of favoring a specific parent with maybe moves or abilities passed down if they're different species. Common, out in the wild Pokemon will look pretty typical usually. But once you get into domesticated Pokemon, they tend to look notably different. You can always tell if a pokemon was wild caught instead of carefully bred.

Just different color or fur/scale/claw shape. Minor adjustments depending on how bred they are for traits. IV bred pokemon will likely have unique traits that make it easy to spot deliberate breeding. Even if it's not that big of a difference. Like Sneasel having tufted ear... Feather things instead of a smooth leaf shape. Or spots in their fur. Stuff like that.

It seems like a fun detail.

Also decided where Edna, the main OC is from as well as some little details like being really used to having Pokemon groom her from a young age. Her parents have minccinos that are pair bonded and groomed her every morning. So Yolky, and eventually the rest of her team, tend to play with her hair.

Gets a little dangerous with Toxitricity, Danny (short for Cadenza), cause he puts down poison in her hair but she gets a bit immune after a while as well as the rest of the team lol. It was either poison braids or static frizz everywhere. Gotta compromise somehow!

It'll be fun to play around with established designs for a more unique look!

#mittens rambles #pokemon fanfiction #pokemon oc #i really enjoy the creative fan designs but it would be A LOT to keep up with so ill limit to mostly aesthetic lol

[mobiues]

"mobius." loki reaches out to grab his attention, to stop him. his fingers hold onto the sleeve of mobius's blazer, aimlessly trailing down, dangerously close to his palm, and that's when loki's fingers fall away. "i... i want to thank you. for risking everything." a shrug of his shoulder came with a short-lived laugh. "including your pretty skin." a pause then, as he looks to the floor, then away. ah. "still. ive got... things to tell you. mobius you are---very important. to me. i'd not let you die, if i can help it, i would not. nobody has done for me what you have, i haven't felt this way for anybody and i wanted you to know that... just that. that's all. come on, we've got to find her before they kill her."

❛ i'm tellin' you, there really isn't a quality of life without skin ... ❜

gosh, is it good to be back on land. or, well, as land as the tva and the null-timezone could be, anyway. the ground is steady under his feet. and it helps that there isn't a million branching timelines trying to have its way of shedding his skin into pieces. anyhow, mobius heaves a laugh of his own, half-relieved and still buzzing with adrenaline; his chest full from the expression on loki's own.

he's- there's still so many things mobius wants to ask, wants to really talk to him about — alioth, the other lokis, sylvie, the man at the end of time, does anything hurt at all, and he better not be goddamn lying because they both know it well by now mobius won't buy any — but the overwhelming pang that the god's there at all, that he came back, like mobius always knew he would, feels like mobius had had the honour of admiring ten jet ski models up-close. no, twenty. with all its shape and sizes and different motors and with its each unique features.

it makes mobius feels like the trip on the time loom worth every second, even the ones he waited. or, really, especially those.

loki goes on though; barrelling through. his words are slurred from one word to another. he's on attack mode. or rather, a survival mode. a planning mode. a ready-to-go mode, picking up on every details quick and sufficient to figure out the best way to escape, to live through, to make it out alive. it hurts mobius a little despite all the flattering words he's trying to tell him - and it is flattering, the ol' time agent ( exactly how old, though ? mobius doesn't even know. should he have known ? ) can feel his own face softens by it all, but —

❛ hey, hey, hold on. come on. ❜ he grabs loki by the arm, a habit they seem to fall into since he's crashed right back, and reels the god in. ❛ take a breath. you barely had any since you came back. how- i mean. ❜

a pause. mobius licks his upper lip, eyes sweeping once at loki's expression again — he can do the quick-thinking too — before he nods, seemingly having come up with exactly he has to say.

❛ you know b-15's on that. anything, she'll let us know. but you- i want you to get looked at. or at least- i don't know. take a shower. eat some snacks. have you had anything to eat out there? i doubt he-who-remains cared about refreshments unless there's some hors-d'œuvre you're not tellin' me about. how about this, i'll get you some new clothes. pants. anything you want. you get yourself clean, sorted, and we'll go straight to b-15 - if she hasn't come to get us first. how about that ? can we do that ? ❜

random asks.

#efoyisk #have a soft ( future ) boyfriend #ok im a bit rusty #BUT IM GETTING THERE #for all time: in character. #for all time: answered.

[explosionshark]

do u have any metal bands/songs recs?? ive been wanting to get into metal but idk where to start

the ONLY thing that makes this tough is that there are legitimately so many different subgenres and sounds within metal that it's hard to pick some stuff any random person might like. i usually ask folks a bit about what music they DO like before i offer up some recs. but okay - i'lll suggest a couple of my faves from across the board - see if anything sticks

(this got really long so i put it under a cut)

"the number of the beast" by iron maiden (heavy metal) - CLASSIC. maiden are def my all-time fave from the New Wave of British Heavy Metal scene of the 80s. this song typifies everything that makes them such a good band. a strong narrative in the lyrics, KILLER riffs, steve harris' galloping bass playing, bruce dickinson's acrobatic vocal style.

"clayman" by in flames (melodic death metal) - life changing shit for me. melo-death was my first love. the combination of harsh vocals with catchy choruses and really strong guitar harmonies opened a lot of doors for me. this was my jumping off into other styles of metal. i still really love it.

"electric crown" by testament (thrash metal) - slayer and metallica might be the biggest thrash bands in the world, but testament has always been my favorite. really good riffs, great shredding flourishes and solos from alex skolnick and a typically killer vocal performance from chuck billy. tbh this album is divisive among the fanbase for being less thrash and more heavy metal than their usual fare, but that's part of what i like about it. testament are a band not afraid to try stuff out or evolve - it's why they've stayed consistently good while their contemporaries have floundered in their 30 - 40 year careers.

"snap your fingers, snap your neck" by prong (groove metal) - groove is absolute 90s shit. incredible hook, pissed off lyrics, a rhythm you can really headbang to. great for blasting in the car on a drive to or from work.

"apocalypse" by lacuna coil (gothic metal) - i'm biased with these guys. cristina scabbia was a formative crush. their last two albums have been great, but their breakout record was comalies (2002) which cemented their style - dramatic, sweeping instrumentals paired with clean female vocals and a harsher male vocal counterpart. REALLY fun, catchy stuff to listen to, but still with a bit of edge.

"so you die" by bloodbath (death metal) - this is just a nasty, gross death metal song in the classic swedish style. killer buzzsaw guitars, low death growl vocals, a rhythm section that just won't quit. i heard this on a metal compilation CD i got for free at my local record store when i was like 14. literally reshaped my brain.

"matriarch" by unleash the archers (power metal) - POWER METAL. the real nerdy shit (affectionate). this isn't my favorite subgenre, but there's some great musicianship and many talented bands in this arena. you get a lot of fast, complicated guitar parts and soaring, higher pitched vocals. lyrical themes are usually fantasy or sci-fi themed, so often not as dark as some of the other subgenres.

"wretched abyss" by noctule (black metal) - okay, black metal is a big complicated mess. this is the subgenre where i'd say you have to be most careful of running into fascists (they have a whole subgenre of their own - national socialist black metal (NSBM). there's a whole history around this stuff that ties into that but that's another essay and you're here for tunes. black metal means lots of fast tremolo picking and blast beats on the drums, usually with higher pitched screaming vocals. noctule is a recent band, the side project of serena cherry (more on her in a minute). all the songs on this record are skyrim themed. fun!

"listen to someone" by svalbard (blackgaze) - another serena cherry band. this is a style that's fairly new - the combination of black metal elements and shoegaze. typically you get a lot of really pretty atmospheric wall of sound stuff punctuated by harsh bursts of black metal (or vice versa). great if you like songs with a lot of build up.

"they fear us" by ithaca (metalcore) - okay so metalcore is kind of a convoluted term because it can be applied to lots of bands with a variation of sounds, but what it literally comes from is the intersection of metal and hardcore. typically i'd say you can expect a combination of harsh and clean vocals, chuggy guitars, and hopefully a good breakdown.

"woodbine" by windhand (doom / stoner metal) - BIG FUCK OFF RIFF HELL YES. doom tends to be a littler slower than i like - firmly mid tempo, songs on the longer side, and big BIG riffs like this. it's a stlye that plays well with others, you'll see it blending with other subgenres fairly often. this song rips. this whole album tbh. i love windhand.

"invasion" by haken (progressive metal) - like when shit is really technical and trippy but not super into harsh vocals? check out prog! there's lots of stuff in weird time signatures and there's plenty of other subgenres prog bleeds into but i'm trying to keep things simple.

"death to the holy" by zeal and ardor (progressive? blues? black metal?) - there's really no one else in league with this project. inspired by crossing delta blues with different metal styles. tbh most of this list is me trying to present a big, vast subgenre and give an example so you can find out what you like but this shit is singular and it just rules. check it out.

"rotoscope" by spiritbox (prog / metalcore / nu metal) - big spiritbox fan tbh. i've followed the members of this band through a bunch of projects, but that's neither here nor there. this song has a really strong nu metal influence, though i'd say this band usually keeps things in the "djent" progressive metalcore scene. GREAT grooves though and a really fun riff. killer vocals. one of my fave songs of the year.

"the end to a brief moment of lasting intimacy" by seeyouspacecowboy (screamo/mathcore) - yeah i know the subgenres are getting sillier and sillier. idk what to tell you. the "math" in mathcore refers to when bands fuck around with time signatures in a way that generally produces a lot of chaotic sounds (though tbh you don't get a ton of that in this song - check out the bands carbomb, or frontierers for better examples). BUT what we lack in math here, you get back with some great emo hooks and sick instrumentals.

"alkaline" by sleep token (??? idk. prog. who cares) - these guys are fun. anonymous little collective - they perform in masks and stuff, their identities are a big mystery. there's a fun, goofy mythos to the whole band you can dig into if you're curious. mostly, i put them here bc they fuck hard. vessel has a great voice, the riffs are catchy and heavy, but there's a strong pop sensibility to it all. great stuff, if you're looking for something a little less extreme to help you get into the genre.

"无双" by black kirin (folk metal) - so what you've GOTTA know about folk metal is that it can actually sound like a lot of different things. the thing that puts the "folk" in folk metal is the use of traditional instruments from the native culture of the band. black kirin is a chinese band that uses traditional chinese instruments combined with a black metal style. european folk metal bands tend to go in harder on the power metal style + flutes and hurdy-gurdy or what the fuck ever. latin american folk metal sees... well, also a lot of flutes. there are some SICK mongolian folk metal bands (the hu, tengger cavalry) which utilize tuvan throat singing to really cool effect. you gotta shop around to see what's interesting for you.

i could literally keep going and going. there are SO many cool metal bands out there all over the world, making all kinds of sick music in different styles. tbh, that's one of my favorite things about metal - it's a big, big tent.

look, it's not a perfect community - there are problems with elitism, gatekeeping, the fact that the US and European metal scenes are very white male dominated. BUT - this is the shit that saved my life. it's something i've loved for years and years, it's enabled some of the deepest connections i've ever had with people. it keeps me going. for me, getting into metal was a truly empowering and fulfilling experience and many, many people i've met in the scene feel the same way.

try these songs out! feel free to come back and let me know what you like! i'll offer more recs, if you ever need them

#replies #i need a music tag i don't hate #metal #i left off SO many subgenres #and SO MANY BANDS I LOVE. I'M SO SORRY CARCASS.

[lostdreamsatmidnight]

last words of a shooting star

“i always wanted to die clean and pretty, but i'd be too busy on working days. so i am relieved that the turbulence wasn't forecasted; i couldn't have changed anyways.”

pairing: lo’ak & the sully family, lo’ak x tsireya, lo’ak & spider

status: in progress

synopsis: lo'ak dies before his family, and now they will be forever fractured after him.

warnings: major character death, blood and injury, angst, suicidal thoughts

notes: will be crossposted on ao3.

i. lo’ak, last words of a shooting star

ii. tsireya, in another life

iii. tuk, wait

iv. kiri, disengaged

v. spider, seigfried

vi. neteyam, no, the moon

vii. neytiri, #3

viii. jake, goodnight dad i love you

#avatar #avatar the way of water #lo’ak fic #atwow loak #jake sully #neytiri #neteyam #kiri atwow #tuktirey #avatar spider #fanfic #loak x tsireya #angst #character study

[morvantmortuary]

Denim, Amber, Peach and Ruby for Hex?

Sarah!! I’m sorry this took me so frickin long, babe :’D thanks for being kind enough to ask to begin with 🖤

Denim: describe their shower habits

Hex is big on being clean and smelling pretty when he can — he’s had plenty of times in his life when that wasn’t possible (on the run in Mexico, the Oaxaca Incident, whenever Vincent would shut him and Maxi in the basement when they were teens and disobeyed him), so for him it’s definitely a thing he treasures. He’ll go maybe a day or two at most without a quick shower when he can help it, and only if you spend those days being pajama hermits together on the couch/in his room/etc.

he really tends to use baths for relaxing (or scrying in the water, under the right circumstances), so when he’s showering he generally has an agenda/someplace to be. He takes his time with his hair (he loves himself some conditioner), and he has a special soap for his face and beard. He’s always careful when he washes up, making sure he clears off any blood ectoplasm traces of your last orgasm evidence of his previous escapades. He has a cologne he likes, but now he usually saves it for whenever he’s taking you somewhere in particular lmao. he’s 100% that person who will walk out in a towel and then still be sitting in it an hour later bc he gets distracted with his laptop/phone/whatever, and he loves to cuddle when either him, you, or both of you are still steamy and warm after showering.

Amber: how would they choose to die if they had to die tomorrow?

something quick and painless, preferably. or, if he had to choose one of the two, painless. he’ll linger if it means he can do so in a soft, numb haze. a little too much morphine in an IV drip, or some tequila to wash down a bottle full of sleeping pills. something where he can phase through the Veil and not even realize it, at first.

if he had to make a day of it, he’d want to have cooked you both his last meal, then go out in your arms — either in your bed or on a blanket under some stars. something where the last thing he sees and feels and thinks about is you. you’d just be talking shit, maybe cracking bad jokes back and forth, and he just… falls asleep when the drugs kick in. maybe the last thing he’d feel is a kiss.

if he gets his way, this’ll be how he does actually go when it’s his time, but you’re both nearly a hundred and he knows you’ll be comfortably taken care of and living in luxury until it’s your turn to come over, where he’ll be the first person in line to see you on the Other Side.

(…the three morvants have an emergency understanding where, if it gets to a point they have to take each other out - if it’s safer that way - they know what to do. Maxi can stop hearts, which is the quickest. Rora can make neck vertebrae snap of their own accord, which is painful but only for a moment. Hex can pull people out of their bodies if it comes to that, but only as the absolute resort bc it’s a slow and painful process. it’s a contingency the three of them settled when they were teens, and still stands, though they never speak of it.)

Peach: would they eat human flesh? Under what circumstances?

Oh, babe. It’s hardly going to be the weirdest thing he’s ever eaten ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sure, but only if he absolutely had to. maybe a dire ritual, a donner party situation (although it’s pretty hard to get into one of those these days, he’d rather die stranded somewhere trying to get himself unstuck from said predicament), if it was a condition of your ransom (weirdly specific, but sure), or he had to humor some particularly beastly member of They Who Provide/Decide so they don’t start a feud with the family. He’d rather not, obviously, but when you belong to a family that’s so deeply intertwined with death and devilry, it’s not like it’s totally impossible it’ll come up.

Ruby: what's an unpopular opinion they have?

he secretly thinks a lot of stereotypically “nerdy” hobbies are still pretty geeky - DnD, comics, musicals okay basically anything Maxi was into as a teen - but he’s not married to this opinion. he’s always been more of a social butterfly than his cousins, and his favorite form of socializing is at a party or dancing, but all he needs is someone to show him what they love about any of these things to change his mind. especially if it’s you; the minute you get excited about any of the above, he’d immediately bite his tongue and want to learn more about it, wanting to definitely impress you a little bit the next time you hung out make you happy by participating. even if you just mention it casually, he’d go home and spend the rest of the night googling things on his phone so the next time y’all got together and it came up, he could casually pretend he knew more about it than he was letting on. the big nerd.

thanks again for your patience, babe! I super appreciate the interest! 🥰

#nice people #sarah!! 🖤 #hector vibes #hector morvant-casares #hex morvant-casares #hector emile morvant-casares #diego luna fc

[tymorrowland]

I know this was meant as a "one of the following points" but I couldn't really stop myself so you get everyone, lol

A compliment:

I don't even know where to start. Your hair looks amazing. You have such a sweet smile. From how much I can tell from your posts, you're funny (I feel like there might be a better word for what I mean, but English isn't my first language and I can't put it better rn, sorry). Your entire body just looks so soft and sexy and huggable and kissable (to die for, really).

A story:

I'm currently on vacation and on our first day in the city my sister and I couldn't decide where we wanted to go for dinner. Because we were pretty exhausted we decided to go to a Japanese place near our hotel, even if I wasn't really in the mood for sushi and similar food. When we arrived it looked pretty underwhelming from outside and I was beginning to regret the decision. But then it was really pretty inside, the staff was super nice and they had the most amazing Japanese food I've ever tasted. Probably the best food I've ever had on vacation, if not in general.

Why you follow me:

I think initially because I thought you look cute. Now it's because you look good and we have a similar kind of humor and you're probably one of my favourite people on this site.

A cute message:

I really don't know how to be cute deliberately, but I'll try... I wish for every nightmare to vanish from your mind, may it be while you're asleep or awake, imagined or real. 💗

One thing you want to tell me:

Seeing your posts is usually very helpful to get me out of a bad mood.

One thing you want to know about me:

What's your favourite colour? What's your favourite book? Which subject did you enjoy the most in school? Which one the least? What are your hobbys? What do you do for a living? What are your favourite parts of your body? What are your favourite body parts of a (potential) partner? What's your favourite food (meal)? What's your favourite snack? Do you enjoy parties? What kind of music do you listen to? Do you speak any languages besides English? Is there a place you always wanted to travel to? (Sorry, I got a bit carried away. It's ok if you don't want to answer all of that)

oh wow, lmao, thank you! 💕

What's your favourite colour? Orange primarily, but i also love purple and pink.

What's your favourite book? i’m not much of a reader lmao. the last book i remember reading was the hunger game series literally like 12 years ago? idk if that was before the initial percy jackson series but yeah i don’t read much

Which subject did you enjoy the most in school? i actually enjoyed math and culinary (obv lmao), though every single one of my teachers were shit. i so wish i had taken art classes though.

Which one the least? i never really was a fan of history, or english because i hate writing essays

What are your hobbys? i really enjoy making pottery, but classes are so expensive, and i like playing video games

What do you do for a living? i essentially clean up documents for lawyers

What are your favourite parts of your body? i mean i’ve come a long way from a couple years ago where i hated my body, but i don’t think i have a least favorite part of my body. i really like my chest and my belly though

What are your favourite body parts of a (potential) partner? well my biggest turn on is nice hair. i don’t think i’m that picky on physicalities though

What's your favourite food (meal)? i really love how i make taco salad, but i also love a good low country boil, or a beef roast with potato and carrots

What's your favourite snack? i don’t think i have a favorite snack, i just snack on whatever i’m craving at the time

Do you enjoy parties? ive never been to a party, but i think i would prefer a small friends gathering game night

What kind of music do you listen to? literally anything that’s catchy. i don’t have any specific genre playlists. i just group whatever i want to listen to in a single playlist and make a new playlist whenever it’s got too many tired songs on it. they literally have pop, country, rock, metal, kpop, r&b, rap, but i think my favorite genre is like dancy/edm/electronic

Do you speak any languages besides English? nothing fluently, but i’ve taken classes in spanish and german. id love to get back into learning languages

Is there a place you always wanted to travel to? the nordic countries are the top of my list. id actually love to move there