#its upsetting and unsettling tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moth--knight · 10 months

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hello can i PLEASE have a perspective flip for the end scene of sunday best in the car i require it for sustenance tysm kiss kiss kiss

I went a lil wild with it tbh. Oops! I love clueless Barbara, what can I say. Thank you so, so much for the prompt. Hope you enjoy ^_^

Melissa doesn’t look behind her as she rushes off, and Barbara can only give the unsettled teenagers a small smile before following her best friend across the parking lot.

It is rare for her to follow behind Melissa. Which, she supposes, has its own sort of humor - Melissa was the hot-headed one between them, acting first and thinking later - and yet, when it came to Barbara, she was always a half step behind, channeling her boundless energy into a buzzing patience reserved exclusively for the kindergarten teacher’s benefit.

During Melissa’s first few weeks at Abbott, she had followed Barbara around relentlessly. She was young and charming and cared little for boundaries, the exact opposite of Barbara herself, only five years older but with self control others might call godly, in a manner half mocking half awe. Barbara couldn’t stand her. Melissa managed to always be behind her, with a thoughtful compliment or sly and clever witticism or some delicious baked treat, and always came off as casual, like she had just happened upon Barbara for the fourth time in the halls that day. Abbott wasn’t a particularly large school, but still. The likelihood? Utterly improbable.

Every night she had gone home and complained to Gerald about this insufferable woman, who wore shirts cut a bit too low, pants a bit too tight, and smelled like cedar and lavender, and whose hair formed a blazing halo, impossible to ignore, this insufferable woman who had managed to gain the attention and adoration of her class overnight, who might even be a better teacher than Barbara herself, despite the lack of experience and overall respect for any sort of decorum.

Melissa Schemmenti, who for some reason seemed obsessed with her, despite Barbara’s lackluster responses and polite deflections, and despite not really needing any of the guidance that Barbara was known for. No one bothered her unless they needed something, but what Melissa could possibly need from her was mystery.

Gerald, ever patient and sweet, had suggested sagely that perhaps the younger woman was just looking for a friend. New environment, and all that.

“Why me?” Barbara had groused.

“Why not you?” Gerald had replied serenely, hand over hers. “Give her a chance.”

And so Barbara had.

But now, following behind Melissa, Barbara feels something sticky and sour lodge itself in her throat, because Melissa was upset in a way she’d never seen.

Terrified, her mind supplies. Melissa had looked terrified, talking to those girls, and seeing such an emotion on her best friend’s face had shaken her to her core. Melissa Ann Schemmenti didn’t get scared. No, no, certainly not.

Or maybe, always half a step behind her, Barbara had never looked over her shoulder long enough to notice.

She unlocks the car as Melissa reaches her hand to pull the handle, perfect timing, and watches her slip into the passenger seat like she has for the past few months they’ve been coming to church together, red hair flicked over her shoulder, bright and beautiful against the dreary rain soaked landscape.

She slides in the driver’s side, buckling her seatbelt on autopilot, hands finding the wheel.

Why was Melissa scared?

“I’m sorry.”

Barbara’s brow furrows, head snapping to Melissa. Her voice is small, like it had been after her divorce, like she was waiting for someone to raise their voice or hand to her. Barbara feels her heart crack in her chest. She doesn’t understand. She hates not understanding.

“Why?”

And then Melissa is rambling, about her niece, about her youth, and normally she’d intervene, redirect her (though she’d never admit it, the little displays between Zach and Jacob had felt eerily familiar) but there is something else there, something Melissa is saying but isn’t, skirting around the issue. Barbara feels utterly lost. Until she doesn’t.

“Yeah well, queers gotta stick together.”

Oh.

“I didn’t know you were a member of the LGBTQ+ community, Melissa.”

The words are stiff, uncomfortable in her mouth.

Because they’re a lie, her mind whispers. You’re lying!

“You don’t gotta be so formal about it, jeez.”

Melissa is queer. Of course. Of course. Barbara knew this, or suspected, at least - Melissa had never talked about it, but Barbara was observant, had noticed how her eyes lingered on the new art teacher in the early aughts, a woman with a streak of grey in the hair above her brow and a crooked smile, noticed the way women at PECSA would gravitate toward her the second Barbara would step away for another drink and the way Melissa would lean in, eyes flashing, tongue tracing the seam of her lips, like she was hungry - Barbara can’t say she didn’t know, because she did, she absolutely did, she just hadn’t thought about it, which is a different thing entirely.

Why hadn’t she thought about it?

“There are things you haven’t gotten a chance to experience yet, Babs. Things you can’t experience with me. I owe you that chance.”

Gerald’s words, gentle as he slid the divorce papers across the table.

“Gerald, what-”

“Talk to Melissa about it. She will understand.”

Barbara hadn't talked to Melissa about it, too ashamed, too confused.

Melissa had smiled like she’d won the lottery when Barbara had greeted her today for church. But, then, Melissa always smiled at her like that, didn’t she? Like Barbara was the sun itself, something good and warm and perfect.

Your work wife, Gerald used to tease her. You like her more than me, Babs.

Melissa, who was everything Barbara couldn’t allow herself to be, brash and loud and obnoxiously funny and aggressive and sweet and sexy-

She licks her lips, mouth dry.

Oh.

And then it bubbles up from within her, uncontrollable, and she laughs and laughs and laughs, head pressed to the steering wheel. She’s an utter fool. Oh, Lord forgive her.

“Barb-”

“I’m sorry,” she giggles, wiping away the tears of mirth in her eyes, “I’m not mocking you, sweetheart, I just realized - well.”

She has loved Melissa for a great many years.

She knew for sure she loved Melissa back during their third year teaching together, when that huge snowstorm had knocked out half the power in Philly, including her own. Gerald, working nights, hadn’t been home to help, and Gina and Taylor, only 4 and 7, had been overtired and inconsolable.

She doesn’t remember why she thought to call Melissa, but she had, and the woman had driven through the hellish storm with a portable heater in the back of her rusted old pickup and enough candles to give the Vatican a run for their money without question. She had even stopped and managed to score hot chocolate for Gina and Taylor from some late night gas station, probably the only one still open considering the weather, and then built the greatest pillow fort ever to be seen in the Howard’s living room.

Barbara had fallen asleep in it with her girls cuddled close to her sides, under Melissa’s protective eye, and had awoken just the same. Had to make sure the heater didn’t bust, she had offered, eyes drooping with sleep, hair messily piled atop her head. There was an extra blanket draped over Barbara that hadn’t been there when she’d fallen asleep. She had stared and stared and stared at this wonder of a woman until the power had clicked back on, the cacophony of every electronic in the house springing to life waking Gina and Taylor, who immediately dragged a poor exhausted Melissa to the kitchen to make the breakfast. She’d made pancakes with smiley faces, and winked when she’d placed one in front of Barbara too.

She has also been in love with Melissa for a great many years, apparently.

When she turns to look at Melissa, at the woman she loves - and good lord, how had she not realized sooner - she wants so badly to cradle her face in her palms, to smooth gentle thumbs across her soft cheeks, to trace the elegant bridge of her nose, to kiss away the crease in her forehead, to kiss her, properly, the way she had dreamed about once and written off as temporary insanity.

For now, she settles with giving her a smile, all teeth and warmth and adoration.

“Thank you, for telling me.”

“It’s no biggie,” Melissa chokes out.

Barbara’s hand finds her knee, squeezes.

“It is to me, dear.”

FIN

#asks #ask game #my writing #abbott elementary #barlissa #moth writes #yes I denied them a kiss a SECOND TIME #sorry. but also? not sorry at all.#i'm working on a sequel to sunday best and I promise they will kiss lots in that one to make up for it <3 #wahhh this was so fun but I just wrote this in an hour so sorry for any mistakes #thank you so much again for the request!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#hope it was enjoyable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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septembersghost · 1 year

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Before I begin I must say I am a swiftie.

I love Taylor. Her music means a lot to me. It literally helped me in a lot of ways. But her recent actions have actually genuinely is upsetting to me(not saying she has to live the way I want her to but I feel really sad). Its just........he is a very disgusting person. He is someone who was literally m@********* in public and made misogynistic comments.

My biggest fury with him was when he called harry a queerbaiter. It was extra hard for me because harry's acceptance was what made me feel peace about my sexuality. I am still figuring out my sexuality and it's mostly fluctuating. He was the first person I saw say 'you dont have to tick every box'. He said that when I was questioning myself for the 100th time. Because if you want to come out to everyone you need a label right! He made me realise it's okay to not know everything and it felt like a warm hug from a friend. And watching M@** ***** call that person a 'queerbaiter' angered me to extreme and 'almost' destroyed my self esteem wondering whether everyone around me thought I was faking for attention too. I know him and Taylor have been friends for a long time but her being romantically linked with someone like that and being so carefree about it while he has been linked to 100th warranted controversy makes me feel sick in the stomach. It makes me wonder if she's like 'I know the things he said/did but I don't care ' and it hurts me so much to even think she feels that way. I know she is a good person and all that but.....the Taylor who made me feel accepted about being the odd kid in the school or the one who understood about my fear of growing up seems so far away. I feel so hurt by the fact that I am feeling this. I think I need to take a distance from her and her art and I don't know how long will that be.

Sorry if I bothered you with such a long paragraph but I feel you can understand this better than anyone here

hi love, i apologize it took me all day to answer this! so i'm going to be honest, i've been thinking about this specific situation ever since the first rumor surfaced, but i didn't address it since i know it sounds like fan-based bias, even though to me it's a larger issue than that.

let me digress for a moment - i've seen a lot of his fans try to defend the n*zi salute as "satire," and that it wasn't meant to be antisemitic, but as a jewish person, i find this deeply troubling, because, even as edgy ~performance art~, using such a direct symbol of hate is never okay (in conjunction with a lyric referencing someone who's been virulently antisemitic in public - and yes, the lyric itself is satirical criticism, but the combination of the two is unsettling, to say the least). it's concerning and it's hurtful and it's inappropriate, full stop. his non-apologies for his grossly racist and sexist comments are as well.

his antics onstage (i have to laugh at the raw steak thing somehow being a criticism of "toxic masculinity"...bro. what?) also cross a line from being performance art to being. ick. (UGH i'd forgotten that other incident you mentioned because it's gross and i blocked it from my memory. just. WHY!!!)

in truth, i had no idea who he was and had never even heard his name (though i was aware of the 1975, i never listened to them) until their album came out last year and suddenly he was spouting off everywhere and doing things and fans began to speak about the old rumors of he and taylor (which i dismissed out of hand, but now. idk). everything i've learned since has been against my will tbh.

which brings us to that awful queerbaiting comment. if you've followed me for any length of time, you know this is a particular hot button issue of mine, i just get incensed at the way that term is misused and weaponized against real people, and harry gets it in a particularly disgusting way because certain sections of the internet seem to feel a superiority complex in tearing him down for existing. never once has harry claimed to be a bastion of queerness or a trailblazer of fashion, and yet he's criticized for...what exactly? being himself? dressing however one chooses without being boxed in by gender expectations is exactly what we're meant to be aiming for, isn't it? not demanding someone's label and identity is supposed to be part of championing the community, isn't it? his choice to remain unlabeled matters. not only because it's no one's business but his own, but also because BEING an unlabeled/mspec person IS itself a whole identity. what matty said about this was appalling and WAY over the line, and particularly disrespectful since they're supposedly friendly. he had no right to make the comments that he did. he should've received more criticism for it than he did (and had he attacked anyone but harry, he probably would have).

(i wish what adam lambert said in response had gotten more traction. Automatically labeling looks and performances that aren’t cisheteronormative as queerbait is “almost underestimating the intelligence of gay people.”)

you feeling enraged and hurt by that is understandable, and you have every right to feel that way. it touches my heart to read that harry has helped you feel more at peace with your sexuality. i've mentioned before that i've grappled with what exactly mine is too and where i fall on whatever spectrum, and just the idea that we don't even HAVE to put a concrete definition on that, or that it's allowed to be fluid, is a relief. i also feel like there's a huge amount of bias where people forget that just because you haven't been in a relationship with someone of ___ identity/gender doesn't mean your own identity isn't real! you DON'T have to tick every box, and you ARE allowed to expand or change along the way, and you're still you and still valid! nobody has to have one set label forever, and nobody else is owed that explanation from you!

He made me realise it's okay to not know everything and it felt like a warm hug from a friend. 🥺💕💕💕 this is so sweet and i feel confident he would be touched by it too.

i am SO sorry that what matty said hurt you the way that it did, it was a reckless, thoughtless thing of him to say, and you and every other person who is working out their identity or who feels confident remaining unlabeled deserves better than him cruelly running his mouth. (which i also think had a level of jealousy in it, because, let's be honest here - he's never going to be harry, success-wise, and he also admitted harry declined to perform at his show, so). matty has frustrated and upset me on multiple occasions since i became aware of his behavior, and you're allowed to feel that way.

regarding taylor, as i said earlier, of course we have no control nor input over what she does or who she associates with, and much as we may love her, she is just a flawed human being too and she has made mistaken choices, and has overlooked behavior from others that perhaps she shouldn't have, or that we wouldn't ourselves, but only she can make those decisions for her life. i've seen a lot of disgust and concern over this on my dash, and i'm with everyone on all of that, but at the same time i think it's a bit of a wake-up call that she is her own autonomous woman whom we do not know personally, and we have to find our own ways to approach that boundary. if that means ignoring this until it blows over, if that means taking space away from her for a while, if that means making silly jokes. i think as long as we're not harassing others (which you would never! <3 but the uptick in cruel anons/death threats that have happened this past month make me sad and i wish everyone could take a breath and...not do that!), however we choose to deal with it is the best we can do. i tend to suspect she's been going through it, and maybe this won't last long, but that doesn't make it a great look nor is it unconcerning. regardless, you should do what's best for yourself and look out for your well-being. if that means detaching for a while, i promise it doesn't make you a bad fan, even though i know that hurts ("the Taylor who made me feel accepted about being the odd kid in the school or the one who understood about my fear of growing up seems so far away." though i'm older than you, this happened to me in my own sense during my 1989 disconnect. i really do get it, and seeing a similar pattern here is a bit painful). i also want to say that i think, knowing what we do know about her and her character and kindness, she'd still want you to feel accepted and loved, and wouldn't align with the trashy things he's said and done, but i understand why willingness to overlook it hurts as well.

thank you for confiding in me and letting this out, i know it's hard to talk about and feeling distanced from an artist with such meaning to you is a specific ache. the only advice i can give you is to step back however you need to, for however long you need to. whether you feel comfortable still holding onto her music but separating from her personally (and/or from tour), or whether you need space from all of it for a while, remember that it's always going to be there, and you can always come back. in the meantime, you can also turn to places and artists that are continuing to give you comfort (like harry, and i'm so glad he is that for you).

for what it's worth, i love you and i know your identity is worthwhile, and YOU are worthwhile, and you deserve to feel safe and embraced and seen. anywhere you go, you don't need a reason. 💛💛💛

#anonymous #letterbox #your delicate point of view #ngl i wish this. was not what it is.#but unfortunately all we can do is deal however we're individually comfortable dealing #and hold onto the good however we can

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tuxedokit · 2 years

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So i made a sonadow fankid

This is Shade!!! (flags are girlthing and aroace flags) heres some bullet points bc paragraphs hard

1st i wanna point out that the shoes ARE hand-me-downs; they used to be sonics when he was little

tails helped design her inhibitor rings; heres a ref without them + without gloves or shoes

shade has the ability to manipulate chaos energy like her fathers, but it takes a lot of training and practice for her to even begin to harness it. even chaos snap was a struggle for a while, and most of her strength comes from the combat skills sonic and shadow taught her

most of her chaos manipulation needs a chaos emerald to work, otherwise it could take a lot, if not all, of her energy

she also would kin kris deltarune, she likes to chaos snap into places to jumpscare people

also her middle name is maria

full name is technically Shade Maria Robotnik (the hedgehog)

shes autistic also though p much all my character are

she speaks very monotonously, and isnt very openly expressive

that being said, she is incredibly caring, and contains so much love (and hate, if anyone tries to harm her family)

AND because idk how much we canonically know about the black arms, xenobiology is free game! SO heres some facts about her alien biology

the little tbh on the bottom isnt a shitpost, thats actually what shade looked like for the first year or so of its life! it could be held with one hand, was very active, and could crawl along walls and ceilings like a bug

everyone was. incredibly unsettled, save for her dads lol

she also has bioluminescent green blood, as does shadow according to my hcs

on top of that, the black arms were a hivemind species—shade didnt inherit this fully, but

she Does have a resulting telepathic link with sonic and shadow; in a sense that they can sense when she is happy, upset, distressed, afraid, etc.

they also can project their emotions to each other

while this can be used in emergencies, it also results to some psychological warfare at the dinner table if shade loses dessert privileges

shadow has the stronger connection to her on account of actually having alien dna

it can also flare out its quills of threatened or upset, kinda like this

AND YEAH thats my beloved

heres some memes i made of her bc im insane

#carpet shut up challenge #my art #sonadow fankid #id say im sorry but im really not #shade the hedgehog #shade maria robotnik the hedgehog #sonic oc #ok yeah if i wanna add more tags ill do it later whatever here ya go

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rawwkfingers · 5 months

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The Ambassadors of Death

I've heard of course about the wonky timeline that the Classic era brings up, that we're just not sure when the UNIT stories are meant to take place, but I always assumed that was more of a nerdy fan thing but no, they make it very clear in this serial that the story doesn't take place in "modern" times considering they'd already been to Mars several times.

This was the first serial where I really had no idea what the alien menace was going to be, and they kept that mystery for so long! It's been awhile since I felt completely in the dark about Doctor Who and I loved it and I loved the final reveal that they were actually good guys. The "twist" that it was the general made no sense for me because they'd already established that he was in on it very early on in the serial, so I'm not sure why it was treated like a big reveal

Its so interesting how different the sonic screwdriver is in Classic Who vs New Who. There were many times in this serial I thought "why doesn't the Doctor just use the screwdriver" before remembering that initially, they didn't want it to be the magic wand that it is today. I understand both sides of the argument tbh. In the serial format of Classic, it makes sense for it to be a more grounded device, whereas in the more modern style of television that New Who takes, having the screwdriver be a catch-all device is something of a necessity

The editing so far in Pertwee's era has been, weird. A lot of direct cuts with little transition between scenes, literally the Doctor would make a comment and then an immediate cut to a different scene, and the cliffhangers are all extremely sudden. It's not something I ever notice unless it's done badly so I'm not quite sure what exactly is being done differently now compared to this but it's a jarring change, though not necessarily a bad one

You can definitely see the James Bond influence this serial. The political intrigue, the car chase scenes, the way the mystery takes several episodes to develop. I didn't think I was going to enjoy that aspect of the Pertwee era tbh but I'm actually really loving it. Though because of it, and the stuck-on-earth plot, Pertwee's Doctor feels a very different character from any other Doctor (even if he shares a fashion sense with 12.) He's much more concerned with things from a UNIT perspective

I don't like his response to Liz being threatened though. At first I thought his cool demeanor was him staying calm to unsettle the bad guys but he never seems to get too upset about it, which is such a marked difference from how other regenerations react, both 1-2 and 9-12

#rawwk on #classic who watch #the ambassadors of death #i did a different style in writing up my thoughts this time around #instead of writing them all at the end i wrote paragraphs as i watched it #i dont think i like how it turned out tbh

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thav · 1 year

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01/12/23 11:54 PM

holy fuck do i feel uncomfortable. i’ve been feeling this way for a few weeks now and it’s... unsettling hahaha i dont feel uncomfortable because something happened or im upset about something i just feel like somethings up and idk what and im sccaareeed )^:

goin thru another phase where im kinda hating everything i do lol i feel like i just really suck and everything does and im tired of it, im trying to be better and work past it but idk i feel really sad tbh

started working out and feeling like i have my shit together and its rlly hard to keep it together and keep trudging on thru while i feel like i cant BREATHE fuck

new single coming out next month though so thats exciting. think im too caught up rn by what other people are doing and aligning my idea of success to that instead of realizing everyone’s path is sooooo different.

im tired but still love u lol

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torturedpoetemotions · 2 years

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Okay so like. I do think the creators of this trilogy screwed themselves when they made Michael into this unstoppable, near-supernatural embodiment of evil in Halloween Kills. Literally no ending was going to be believable or satisfying after that.

(Spoilers under the cut!)

I also think Halloween Ends lacked the catharsis, scope, score, and production value of Halloween (2018), which I loved, and even Halloween Kills, which I hated. Going from a large story about a whole community tearing itself apart to a small, insular story focusing more on a single family and how they've been affected and how evil can creep into the cracks tragedy leaves behind was a good choice overall, but there were so many moments where they just undercut the terror and suspense in baffling ways.

For example: the whole ending would work better if they just left it open-ended as to who won the fight in the sewer. Someone emerges wearing the mask, and we're left to guess for the rest of the film whether it's Corey or Michael behind it. Possibly we don't find out until after Allyson helps Laurie kill him that it was Corey all along, just for an extra gut-punch.

(I find it unsettling, btw, that the actor playing Corey looks extremely like an actual Corey I knew in high school.)

On one level I really liked the movie, but I'm not sure I like it as an ending to this trilogy. (I mean tbh I think they could have titled the 2018 film Halloween Ends, changed exactly nothing else about it, and ended the franchise for good on a much higher note. Neither of these sequels was strictly necessary.) And the fanboys are already so up in arms that I just know in a few years someone is going to try to "fix" that ending with another Halloween movie, and I'm already tired just thinking about it.

But despite all of that, I don't think it was actually a bad movie. It just felt like whoever wrote it had a specific story they wanted to tell, and couldn't get anyone to produce that movie, so they shoved it into a Halloween film and didn't bother to make the edges where the two were joined seamless at all because they weren't ever actually interested in making a Halloween film. As evidenced by the way Michael was barely in the movie, and arguably not essential to its main plot.

The most compelling part of the film, for me, was this weird, fucked up love triangle of sorts between Michael, Corey, and Allyson. Both of them see something in him that they connect to immediately. He's continually drawn back to both of them. And he arguably needs--or feels he needs--what each of them offers. Somewhere to put all his love, and an outlet for his rage. And the line separating one from the other is far less clear-cut than is comfortable at times.

That moment in the diner when Allyson whispers "burn it all down" and he says "I'll light the match" was a turning point, when Corey went from passively stumbling into bad situations to actively seeking out people to take revenge on. Starting, interestingly, with people who upset her. His first two completely intentional kills were Doug, who taunted Allyson in front of him, and her boss, who yelled at her. In a way, his love and rage were so intertwined that the one couldn't help but feed the other.

Truly their entire relationship was impossible to look away from even as it made my skin crawl. It felt like a battle for her soul as much as for his, and I wish they had let that play out instead of turning it into a trite good girl/bad boy drama that suddenly devolved and then disappeared without any real closure.

Allyson has been hurt by Michael, yes, but she's also been hurt by Haddonfield, a community full of people who have mocked, blamed, or exploited her family at every turn. It was that anger at her community that drew her to Corey, more than any innate quality of his. And we do get to see her grapple with that in the moments when Corey is basically waving red flags in her face, but each time that happens, she ends up choosing to let him back in. And we never get to see her truly make a different decision.

The decision to move toward darkness or toward light was made for her by suddenly swapping out the man she loved for the boogeyman that's haunted three generations of her family. With Corey dead and Michael attacking her only remaining family member, of course Allyson chose to protect Laurie, give Haddonfield closure, and acknowledge that Corey was evil. Another option no longer existed.

And that was disappointing, because it not only undercut Allyson's story but Corey's as well. He never has to face the consequences of his actions in any tangible way. He never has to look at Allyson and know she's lost to him because of what he's chosen...or that she's lost a part of herself to stay with him. His last sight is her tear-stained face mourning him. He gets to die thinking he's won, and in a way, he has.

After the sudden demise of the character and relationship we've followed for basically the whole movie, Laurie's final fight with Michael almost feels like an afterthought. It lacks the impact that all of their previous confrontations had, and it's meant to be the climax of the film.

All in all, it was a good movie in the wrong franchise with a lackluster ending, because professional screenwriters just seem physically incapable of writing decent endings anymore.

#halloween ends #halloween ends spoilers

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mstandsformoon · 3 years

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my favourite youtuber, Jessica Kellgren-Fozard, who does videos centered around disability as well as videos on LGBT+ history, and her wife have just released a video as well as posts on Instagram to announce the birth of their baby.

not a single clip or photo shows the face of their baby, and it's so refreshing to see that there's still people out there who are I guess influencers(?) who are normal and reasonable about this???

It's honestly kinda sad that this stands out to me because it really shouldn't be the norm that people just consistently share the lives of their children on video/photos for everyone to see on social media, but I feel like nowadays it really is more "normal" to do that rather than to keep it private and uh???

#jessica has done like three or four baby/pregnancy related videos #like their journey with IVF and getting pregnant as a gay couple #and a funny video about old wives tales to find out the gender #and thats pretty much it #and i swear ive gotten So Many family vloggers in my reccomeded since watching those four videos #its upsetting and unsettling tbh #thank fuck my parents didnt do that can you imagine #my txt.

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blisslilywrites · 3 years

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How would GOM react if a guy was flirting with you. Thank you in advance.

A/N: basically,,,, RIP DUDE(s) WHO TRIED TO FLIRT WITH YOU AHAHAHHAHAHA.. anyway this was pretty short but i hope you still like it nonetheless/(//w//)/ - lily

AKASHI SEIJUUROU

lol i pity the guy who tries to flirt with you knowing that you’re akashi’s girl</3

no one would dare we all know that

but say some douche didn’t or had the guts to try to flirt with you and say akashi saw it happen

ohohohhooo

rip douche

akashi would walk up to you all smiles and nonchalantly put an arm around your shoulder or your waist and tell you he has something urgent to discuss with you

as he’s about to lead you away he’ll stare daggers at the guy and by staring daggers i mean literal daggers

cuz yk,,, akashi has a pretty intense aura

if mr. douche still doesnt get the message and tries to flirt with you again at some other time….

welp:’(

akashi would probably be logical and let you handle it yourself but if you, for some reason, still haven’t realized mr. douche is flirting with you,,,,, akashi will take matters into his own hands

by ofc lightly threatening mr. douche

akashi’s light threats are definitely more than enough to scare away anybody who thinks they can flirt with his s/o

AOMINE DAIKI

to others,,, aomine may not seem like the best boyfriend

some other boys might think that and try to flirt with you whether jokingly or seriously

either way tho… it makes aomine pissed af

like excuse you?? that’s HIS s/o no one else can flirt with you bUT him

or… “the only one that can flirt with y/n is me” as he might put it

yeah he’s pretty possessive but he’ll generally not rlly say anything if the flirting wasn’t that much

if it was EXCESSIVE and OBVIOUS flirting tho… well he’d prolly be upset about it:,(

depending on the person, he may get a twinge of jealousy and start an intense make out session later

or he might get a bit pouty altho this one isn’t as likely

generally tho he’d just wrap his arm around you or call you “babe” and just make it rlly rlly obvious that you’re already taken

by none other than him ofc

and it’s usually enough,,, seeing as he’s a pretty big guy and looks pretty strong too

KISE RYOUTA

kise’s normally all over you and its very much obvious to others that he’s with you,, or at least into you

but if someone were to flirt with you…

he’ll probably try to “intercept” sorry my vocab rlly bad rn the flirting and basically just talk a lot and respond to all your courter’s advances

he’ll leave no room for you or for them to talk and they’ll eventually just leave

after they do,, he’d turn to you and say smth like, “You know y/n,, I rlly dont like it when other guys flirt at you:)”

akjgkl idk just picturing it is just…. klajdlsgjlsbkO{@u5902

anywayyss he wouldn’t do anything much but just be pretty petty bout other guys flirting with you

on the other hand,, sometimes he’d just go like “AHH Y/N-CCHI IS SO ATTRACTIVE AND AMAZING OFC OTHERS WOULD TRY TO FLIRT WITH YOU~~ <333”

he’ll do this when he’s in a good mood and when he doesn’t think the flirting was smth serious or smth that threatens him in any way

he trusts you know enough not to flirt back anyway U.U

MIDORIMA SHINTAROU

midorima is very… awkward when it comes to others flirting with you

it happens a lot,, a lot more than he’d like

and it unsettles him that people actually have the guts to shamelessly flirt with you

eSPECIALLY IN FRONT OF HIM

but poor boy doesnt rlly know how to react

he just kinda,,,

*huffs*

*straightens glasses*

*tells them to stop in a direct manner*

his methods may be… unconventional

but its rlly rlly effective

(plus the fact that he’s huge and very broad scares them away pretty easily)

no one would wanna push midorima when he’s being that direct with them

it simply isnt worth the hassle

MURASAKIBARA ATSUSHI

so the other guys (minus akashi) are already pretty big and scary enough to make those feeling flirtatious around you leave

murasakibara is pretty much the same but EVEN BIGGER and EVEN SCARIER

what’s worse is he’s also pretty direct and you never know when he’s actually upset

so if he seems some guy flirting with you

or even talking to you tbh

he’ll walk up to you guys,, and trust me when he “walks up” it looks rlly menacing

and either he’ll just stand there (if he has nothing he wants you to do)

or he’ll just drag you away to get snacks or go home or go watch him practice basketball or literally anything rlly

if he decides to just stand there and much on some food or smth.. its gonna be rlly lowkey scary

like just imagine this giant staring down at you with an unreadable expression but very much possibly an angry/upset one

yeah it can be pretty nerve-wracking for those who arent used to him

and its normally more than enough to get any guy to stop flirting with you

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mobolanz · 3 years

Text

so...tbh the phone arrived today earlier than I expected. which is great.

But honestly, Especially since it was done for an entirely different purpose, I was rather hesitant on putting tumblr in there. in the end I choose not to.

I was considering earlier this year to pretty much abandon this blog bc a rather stressful situation occurred, that left me genuinely fearful of something that in the end,,, just why did I let it hurt me like that? was it really that worth taunting and repressing myself over it ?. It made me also feel like maybe I Outgrew it and there’s not much for me to do here anymore. I mean It’s rare for me by now to directly interact with people for quite a while now. on art I thought of posting all the stuff that I have yet to in the previous absence, but idk, maybe it’s not a great idea as What I was excited over when it sparked in my mind.

usually when i try handling the aftermath of though situation that feels like it sucked the joy out of something i like - I do it by coming back once again after a certain time of rest- to realize it was never taken away in first place, or even better actually- MAYBE IT WAS MEANT TO, BUT I TOOK IT BACK MYSELF. There’s a certain series for example that I started out liking it ,but once felt so unsettling to me to see around anything related ,but nowadays I feel really happy looking at it again, I even want to create more stuff of it!

But as much as it’s indeed a way for life to me, maybe it’s not useful for EVERY thing. Like the example I just provided -I can tell when it does honestly.

Not too long ago, in fact- I did consider re-installing the app when my old phone still worked, and I did, not long after it finished its career.

I had some stuff there that I struggled to delete bc it reminded me of better times, only to overthink and realize how ugly it all actually became ,but still being unable to do it.

maybe on this particular case I really needed to have something ripped just this once to understand I have no reason to attach myself, even with everything else great . not when the bad outweighs it. it’s not some “the only reason I do” . I end up devalidating my feelings and never learning my lesson in cases like that. like some doormat indeed.

But besides that really, tomorrow I’m getting some really good opportunity in life i have yet to. And I really feel that in order to move forward and feel like it genuinely impacted me for good at all , I SHOULD just step away from thoughts that exist to upset me, and definitely what causes them in first place too, if i have to put an effort in something, it’ll be something I benefit from. eventually the bad stuff wouldn’t even be a nuisance, but far off unimportant waste I make up for myself by how far I got .

so, all in all, I’ll probably indeed go for abandoning it. It’s honestly quite ironic I did a similar thing A year ago w another site but back then I did feel some struggle and not less than twice thought of second chances and reconciling, but in cases like that it’s really just no good. or hardly, even hardly sometimes is enough to have me conflicted, I'll be honest.I might go through something eventually and regret this entire post, but I can’t actually predict the future so it feels so unlikely right now with how truly determined and motivated I feel right now to step forward, that going back downhill for whatever reason that right now wouldn’t offer me much and regretting just seems ridiculous.

I won’t really do anything to this blog though, but eh... I’d indeed prefer to reduce any distraction.

#There's one difference-#one was me begging for it to stop and running off because it wouldn't #now I really just feel exhausted of that when It just occoured 'maybe I CAN stop it myself in cases where I actually do have control'#not the way i imagined to stop it- but the best i can #and better motivation- once running with no destination but now i get it that in order for me to get that one thing i really want #I should step from another #so...#you can always ask for my insta if you do want to keep in touch after all tho

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miraculouslycool · 3 years

Note

For real though, I wish the salt side of the fandom never existed-

Miraculous is actually such a fun and amazing show. Sure, it can be criticized a lot, but...the "criticism" just gets old at a point because the salters are just repeating the same thing over and over again.

Today, I came across too much of Adrien and Marinette salt. People saying Adrien was a doormat and one of my favourite fanfic authors write a whole bunch of salt stories on Adrien:( (It's kind of traumatising tbh). People calling Marinette CrEePy. Like, I know that what they say is absolute BS, but it still kind of is unsettling?

And knowing Glaciator 2, I really hope salters tag their shit properly. I don't want to see any salting on the episode, really. Sorry if this is out of nowhere😅 I was really upset coming across salt and honestly, I need some Adrien and Marinette positivity atm:(

Actually, anon, I'd recommend going back to Canon, and rewatching the show. It did me a world of good. I'm in Season 2 rn and it really takes me aback how different the show really is (in the best way possible) when the salt doesn't get to us. Even in all the angst and pain in Season 4 it's never harsh or cruel or puritanical (?) like the salters' mentality? Thats what I love about ML too, even in its saddest and most painful moments the show still gives me so much joy.

#ml sugar #ml fandom salt #asks

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wizkiddx · 3 years

Text

worst case scenario part 5

finally!! so sorry its been an age to anyone still here but lives been interesting atm so.... also this really feels a bit rambley and the ending is deff underdeveloped but I just kind of wanted this done tbh x

[previous part] [part 1]

warnings: hospitals - ICU, ventilation that sort of stuff, just a lot of ANGST post a difficult birth - please don't read if this could be upsetting for you, and my inbox is always open if u wanna chat :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a complete 360 degree flip from earlier that day, after leaving the hospital Tom had become obsessively attached to Aurora. They’d got back to his parents place in Tom’s car; Aurora in the carseat Y/n and Tom had ready in their car door for her arrival. Clearly his parents had already pre-warned his brothers, who had thankfully already gone over to Tom and Y/n’s - collecting the Moses basket amongst other items Harry had been listed off from his mother.

Apart from explaining a little behind her name to his parents on the journey back, Tom had spoken very little, choosing to keep himself to himself - physically stationing himself beside the Moses basket the whole time. Of course, there had been a bit of light conversation and almost procedural passing round of Aurora between all her uncles and grandparents, which Tom had kept a wether eye on - but ultimately not engaged.

He also knew that physically his body was failing him. Although eating a little of the lasagne Sam had made for everyone, he could only stomach a minuscule amount, which did little to boost his energy levels. It felt as though sleeping was the enemy, because he was neither ready to leap into the car if the phone went; or to hear the smallest sound from the wicker basket, suggesting something was wrong. So as much as he tried to fight it, before even nine o’clock he began to dose off on the familiar couch of his parents sitting room - occasionally jerking himself awake before loosing the fight once again.

Nikki had tried to gently push him to take a break in the spare bedroom, which had been Tom’s before he’d moved out, but was unsuccessful - every time he retaliated with a stern shake of his head, while checking his phone just in case he’d missed a notification. Eventually Nikki relented, later in the evening both her and Dom retiring to bed; once Sam had agreed to stick around downstairs till a bit later - as a chef he worked till late in the nights, so even on his days off like today, his sleep schedule was just a little fucked.

Left alone with his new little niece and now pretty firmly asleep brother, Sam draped a blanket over the latter just in time for Aurora to start fussing in the need of a bottle. His mum had explained how to do everything, how to mix the formula and heat it up, so after scooping up the little wriggling girl in the hope his brother wouldn’t get disturbed, Sam dealt with her. To be honest no matter how clueless and useless he felt, Aurora was just so cute - if a little wrinkly and alien looking, but in a good way. This was the first baby any of them had had, so the first time Sam experienced this instant connection and love for the little being that was his niece or nephew. It was terrifying, lifting the bottle against her lips for the first time, but then it just sort of seemed to work. She was incredibly smart for less than 24 hours old, instantly latching on, like she had done for Haz at the hospital.

That gave Sam a little confidence in his ability as an uncle, giving himself a satisfied nod while swaying from the kitchen to move back into the living room. It was just a preference to be within reach of Tom… just in case. His poor brother still hadn’t moved, slumped against the corner of the sofa, leaning toward the now empty Moses basket. Normally, Sam seeing his supposed heart throb of a brother looking as rough as he did now - double chin, mouth hanging slightly open, deep sunken eyes - he would’ve taken a photo to blackmail him with. Now though, it was just desperately sad, seeing his brother like this, hand still clutching his phone tightly above the blanket.

Rather hoping the calm would last for a while, Sam successfully finished off feeding Aurora; winded and then put her down to sleep again just in time. Because, perhaps expectedly, Tom’s phone began to blare off the default iPhone ringtone making Tom jump and throw the device across the room as he awoke with a start. Sam ran to grab it off the floor, mainly with the hope of turning it off before Aurora was awoken too - knowing that it was best tonight to tackle one thing at a time.

And so he immediately swiped to answer the call, not even registering who the call was from, much rather just wanting the noise to stop.

“Hello?”

“Sam? It’s Harrison” Tom had jumped up from his seat hovering beside Sam with petrified look. It took barely seconds for Tom to snatch the phone back, launching questions down the receiver.

“Slow down would you? Y/n is fine I was just phoning to check in.”

“Oh er yeh… um sorry I just… just thought…”

“It’s the other way mate. Nurse says she’s starting to get there cos first she moved her arm a bit when we pinched her shoulder and then I just called because she started to like gag and now the ventilator thing is gone.”

“W-what?”

“I think she’s breathing by herself? Like she’s got an oxygen mask instead of the tubes down her throat.” Clearly Harrison was not, by any means, a medical expert.

“They said she would have the ventilator for a few days at least.”

“I guess Y/n got bored? To be fair she couldn’t ever sit still.”

“I’m coming to you.”

“Tom it’s nearly midnight, I was supposed to be kicked out at 10. Just come back in the morning, they won’t let you in I’m pretty certain.”

“What if she wakes up!”

“Then they’ll call you! She’s getting better Tom you should be try and relax for like a second.”

“FUCK OFF HAZ! If she wakes up all alone and terrified then-“

“I’m not going to having a screaming match on the phone with you. I think we both know you wanting to come is more for you than for Y/n, because Y/n would want you to be looking after Aurora.”

Again guilt tripping using the newborn. Harsh but effective. Stopping Tom’s anger dead in it’s tracks.

“Look I can put the nurse on for her to tell you they won’t let you in and they’ll call if anything happens - but you already know that.”

“Yeh sorry fine … I know don’t bother.”

“Okay… I’m was gonna head back to my place and I know you’ve probably got your mum begging to fuss over Aurora but if-“

“Can you come?”

“Didn’t need to ask mate.”

And that’s how the night went. Until Harrison arrived at the Holland family home, Tom had spent the time pacing back and forth, blatantly ignoring the pleas of Sam just to sit down. Once he arrived though, going through all the updates in a lot more detail Tom seemed, for the first time, optimistic. By no means could you call him relaxed or happy - but compared to the rollercoaster that had been the last 24 hours, Harrison thought that was more than enough. Aurora had started fussing again at 1 but by the time it had turned into a full blown scream at Tom, Sam already had the bottle ready. It took a little bit of encouragement and promise that Tom would be able to feed her but actually, she instantly latched on, settled in her Dad’s hold while guzzling down the contents of the bottle.

After a bit of winding she ended up falling asleep on her dads chest, only when he felt himself start to flag did Tom place her back in the basket. Harrison and him ended up crashing on the sofas, Sam retiring to his own room. Phone still tightly clutched in Tom’s grip.

////////////////////

The first thing Y/n became properly aware of was this intense heaviness all over her body. It felt as though her limbs were all composed completely of lead, meaning as much as she was just craving rolling over, it was as though her own body was holding her down. A very alien feeling that unsettled her slightly, trying to shake of the misty feeling in her head to work it all out. It took a while to drag herself out of the depths of sleep, to the point where background noise slowly faded in - an alien beeping as well as distant shuffling making her heart thump with unease. Finally, perhaps most distressingly , her eyes felt glued shut. Not because they were heavy, in the way someone extremely sleep deprived cant keep their eyes open; rather stiff like they hadn’t been used in so long they’d rusted over or something.

The feeling was quite horrific and isolating- as though she were locked into her body without an escape in sight. Whilst trying to calm her racing thoughts, Y/n chose to focus completely on the one thing she could do. She could listen. She listened to the beeps, focusing on the type of sound, the way it chimed so regularly; and it’s form. It was familiar, for that she was sure but for now at least she couldn’t place it.

It felt like an investigation, trying with all her might to try and workout what the fuck was going on. To put it mildly.

The most useful clue though, a breakthrough if you will, is when a voice sounded - clear and familiar.

“Excuse me nurse?” It was Nikki. For sure. It was a clue, but didnt seem to make a hell of a lot of sense. Y/n was so focused on why the hell Nikki was apparently watching her sleep unconscious, she completely missed the reference to the nurse. As in hospital. As in Y/n was in hospital. “… I’m just going to swap out for my sons friend.”

“Harrison?” That voice seemed new and unfamiliar.

“Yes, he won’t be a second I’m sure.”

What was Harrison doing here too?

It was all very confusing and hurt Y/n’s brain to try and unpick. Gradually then, everything sort of melted away, diving back into the darkness.

The next time Y/n woke up things were different. This time she woke up like she would at any time of day. She woke up and her eyes followed suit. Not particularly easily, since as soon as they cracked open she was almost blinded by brilliant white lights, it taking a build up of willpower before she tried it again - bracing for the pain.

By now she knew something was wrong. She remembered all these patchy and hazy periods. All full of confusion and disorientation but with different voices keeping her at least semi calm. Familiar voices, all too often laced with such emotion. Especially Tom’s. She couldn’t remember what he had said, nor had she probably been able to understand it at the time - what stuck was the tone. The sadness, the hopelessness , the emptiness.

It was scary. But it made her want to help. Made her want to open her eyes.

After wincing at the dazzling white surroundings, Y/n blinked her eyes quickly, in an attempt to get them to adjust quicker. She saw an unfamiliar ceiling, one that was tiled in a similar way to her old school canteen. There was a weird pressure round her mouth, eyes quickly darting down to see edges of a clear mask pressed up against the bridge of her nose. That wasn’t it though, the further she looked the more her eyes panned down this pale blue blanket, following the outline of her legs to the bottom raised edge of the bed. The hospital bed.

Her hospital bed.

As much as she wanted to jump up in panic; physically right now that was an impossibility. So instead, Y/n focused on trying to gleam as much information from the situation. It took a hell of a lot of effort, her muscles literally stiff and ridgid with disuse but with a small groan her neck eventually agreed to follow orders. Just a small tilt to the left and suddenly Y/n felt so much more less panicked. Everything was that bit less scary because there was Tom.

Admittedly he didn’t look amazing, or even not bad. Tom was sat with his back pressed against the side of chair, so his body faced her. Had he not looked so ruined, Y/n would’ve laughed at the side of his face squashed into the back of the seat. But he did look horrific, for lack of a better word. His brown eyes were locked shut, but also looked puffy and red, while dark at the same time - as though he’d been attempting to gouge his own eyes out prior. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, hence why he had appeared to have collapsed in the arm chair. At least though , he wasn’t in a hospital bed himself.

That was Y/n’s pleasure.

Her next job was to get her neck muscles to pull her head to the other side. It was a slow wincing gesture, yet she was so aware of another presence that needed to be addressed too. But actually it was 3 people.

Right at the back, a nurse sat on a little spinny chair, scribbling something down in a file of papers but to be quite honest that wasn’t were Y/n’s focus zeroed in on. Instead on Harrison who was sat in chair mirroring Tom, except instead of being passed out asleep he was cradling a baby. Her baby.

Y/n literally felt her heart in her throat at that point, eye widening almost comically. That was her baby - it must be? The monitors all started to loose their regularity as Y/n threw an uncoordinated limb to that side of the bed- already having realised her throat was way too scratchy to try to say anything comprehensible.

Immediately that got the attention of both the nurse, who immediately leapt up and called for support, as well as Harrison - who looked like he was seeing a ghost.

“Oh my-Y/n-?” Luckily he kept the baby safe in his arms rather than dropping her in shock, whilst Y/n kept her eyes locked onto the bundle in his arms. Nodding down, she tried to remove the mask (actually just very slightly knocking it to one side) and attempted to ask of the baby. Her throat, being inhumanly dry and scratchy, didn’t really work but Haz still got the message, scoffing in amazement.

“Aurora… here’s your mummy.” Harrisons voice was quiet and wavering as he delicately held Aurora against Y/n’s collar bone, the babies little tuft of har tickingling her chin. Now Y/n was crying with happiness, looking up at Haz’s icy blue eyes and questioning her name. Harrison confirmed with another disbelieving whisper, whilst the arm that wasn’t still holding Aurora clasped Y/n’s hand with a death grip. “Tom’s choice.”

The mention of him had both of them shift their gaze across the room to Tom’s chair. Even with all the developments, Tom still seemed completely unaware, fast asleep with the side of his face squished against the back of the chair making his lips slightly askew. Y/n were acutely aware of the small congregation of doctors that had accumulated in the corner of the bay but they seemed to be respectfully waiting before they would prod and poke. Haz went to call Tom’s name, before he could though, Y/n squeezed his arm and minutely shook her head. That wasn’t what the blue eyes boy had been expecting, causing Haz to unfold and bring Aurora back up to his chest as he quirked his eyebrows at her.

She didnt need to be filled in on the situation to know exactly what was happening. She had no idea why she was in the hospital bed; how long it had been since she’d given birth - but she knew all she needed to. From Harrisons unbelievably shocked face; and from the state of Tom - it hadn’t been good. Her fiancé looked almost ghostly, it seemed evident that he needed her. First then, she gestured to Haz for some water, which after a panicked look to the nurse; then from the nurse to various doctors; she was eventually given permission.

After somewhat alleviating the sandpaper feeling in her throat, Y/n then croakily asked for a bit of privacy. Right now the doctors all were gawking, Harrison assumed it to be because they’d all led him and Tom to believe she wouldn’t wake up for a while- and even then she was supposed to barely be awake, not able to talk and drink or anything of the sort. With an ecstatic nod Harrison, shuffled out - while doing so prompting the medical people to draw the curtains completely shut round the bay.

Already Y/n had tears welling up in her eyes, purely because she hated seeing him like this. He just looked so broken and shattered which honestly felt worlds worse than the labour she’d gone through. Her whole body still hurt, stiff and achy for reasons yet to be explained to Y/n. None of that mattered though, as she strained her arm out to the side in order to gently reach his knee that was folded up and sticking out awkwardly at an angle. After swallowing one again, Y/n squeezed round the joint and tried to shake it slightly. Instantly the man jumped up in his seat, heavy eyes blinking quickly and repeatedly as he tried to adjust to the room.

Being so sleep deprived and stressed out, Tom’s brain was not working normally, instead with a delayed haze as he apparently skipped over Y/n in the bed, rather surveying the the closed curtains and Harrison’s now empty chair. As he was lifting himself to sit more normally up, uncurling from the armchair, was when he noticed the hand on his knee. Breath caught in his chest, Tom instinctively bit his lip as his eyes gradually traced up the hand, to the forearm, up to the shoulder. It felt like a fever dream, as though all it would take is for him to move and she’d slip away again. But there were her green eyes, gleaming in a way that literally lifted a weight from his shoulders. Her smile was tired and a little confused, but so her - after spending days of just seeing all her features lax, Tom swore that it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

Only when Y/n finally croaked out a small ‘hi’ did Tom gain awareness of his body, or rather control of it, enough to leap up and leave over the bed - cradling her face in both his palms. Like a psycho he stared intently, swapping his focus from her left to her right eye like a madman.

“Your-I-I” He was trying to speak, trying to communicate all the thoughts and regrets of things he wished he’d said to her all at once. Weakly she reached up to fully remove the oxygen mask, dragging It down to below her chin, before squeezing his wrists in comfort. Only then did Tom notice the small puddle that had collected on her cheek, which made him realise he was absolutely bawling.

“You ‘kay?” Her voice was like sandpaper but everything about her was so completely Y/n and it was just giving Tom this unreal wave of euphoria. Physically incapable of replying, the brunette just scoffed, leaning over the bed even more so he could press his forehead on hers. He was laughing too, the fact she was asking him that seemed so preposterous, given all the tubes and wires attached to her at the moment. It took Y/n squeezing his wrist harder again to make him lean back a little, searching her eyes with his. She seemed so worried; seemed so full of concern - only then did Tom consider quite how much he’d ‘let himself go’ the past couple of days.

It had been two days since Aurora was born, only 48 hours. But the transformation was mad, none more so than mentally. 48 hours had quite literally changed everything for Tom; changed life forever and himself too. It was showing in his unshaven face, with unwashed greasy hair, everything just looking ‘tired’.

“‘m just really glad your awake.” It was so honest and sincere it did have Y/n wondering what had happened and for how long. What had she put her fiancé through?

“How long?”

“The worst two and a half days of my life… I got you now though, yeh?” Tom whispered wetly, while stroking the side of her cheek - wiping both his and her tears away.

“Always.”

The doctors and nurses then came in, podding and poking Y/n like no tomorrow while Harrison and Tom stood back a little - excitedly grinning at each other and the sleepy girl Haz was cradling, before Tom stole her off him. There was a momentary sick-to-his-stomach feeling after some of the professionals had cleared, seeing her eyes shut again felt like everything was crashing around him. Thankfully though, one of doctors noticed the look of despair on his face, explaining to the two men that she was just asleep normally. That although sh’ed spent along time unconscious, waking from a medical coma is in itself exhausting.

After the initial excitement of Y/n waking the next couple of days were pretty samey. She’d been moved down to a normal ward, no longer needed all the incessant bleeping machines but still had to stay in hospital. Tom found it tricky too, he just always felt he needed to be by her side ‘just in case’. In fact, it had been a source of a bit of tension between him and his fiancé - she could see how exhausted he was from looking after Aurora, plus the stress of being in the hospital for hours a day with her. As Y/n got better and more switched on to the state of him, she realised it was inevitable he’d crash at some point.

But after a week and a half in hospital - comprising of a baby, emergency surgery, 3 days on intensive care, followed by 8 on the ward - Y/n was discharged. Nikki and Dom moved in to Y/n and Tom’s place, to provide care support both for Aurora; and Y/n for the rest of her recovery; and secretly Tom for everything he’d been through.

She was still order on bed rest due to her surgical scars, so Tom and Nikki helped to set her up in the master bedroom as soon as they got in. Of course, everyone was aware of Toms odd mood that day. Until then the only thing he wanted was to get his fiancé back at home with him but now she was over the threshold his excitement and joy appeared to have been zapped out of him. In fact, he’d barely uttered more than a couple sentences. So once Y/n was properly comfortable and Dom had brought Aurora and the cot into the room, Tom’s parents quickly made themselves scarce.

Tom hadn’t stopped, finding some reason to rummage around in the chest of drawers m while Y/n chewed at her bottom lip, watching him.

“Tom?” All she got in response was a light hum. “Tom please will you come and sit down for a minute?”

“I just need to-“

“Tom!” Her exclamation finally properly got Tom to listen, jumping round to face her. “Please... please will you just stop for a second?” Y/n’s eyes felt as though they were boring holes in his skull. Really, Tom knew he’d be forced into this at some point because he couldn’t avoid Y/n. She had some power of mind reading over him. So with a defeated nod and sagging shoulders Tom rounded the bed, weaving between his side and Auroras cot - where she was sleeping soundly.

A silence overcame the room as he heavily planted himself on his side of the bed, mirroring Y/n’s posture leant against the headboard.

“I think we need to have an honest conversation T.”

“If you want.” Nothing about his reply was the picture of enthusiasm, causing Y/n to hesitate a little.

“Look I am so beyond grateful for everything you’ve done while I was in hospital... and it doesn’t take a genius to tell you’ve worked yourself half to death-“

“I’m fine-“

“Don’t lie to me. I know you’re trying to protect me but please... will you just talk to me? Honestly?”

His reply this time wasn’t completely unforeseeable but it still shocked Y/n quite how quickly it happened, especially almost unprovoked. Because that’s all it took for Tom to break, for the past 2 weeks to get their vengance, for all the repressed emotion to escape.

He was crying- well more accurately sobbing- into his hands, his back quaking. Naturally Y/n reached out to pull him into her side, suppressing the groan of pain as she moved a little too much for her abdomen to handle. “I’m here T. I got you and I’m not going anywhere m‘kay?”

And that’s how they stayed, for at least 10 minutes, with Tom crying into her shoulder as Y/n rubbed up and down his back. Eventually though, everything did calm down and Tom repositioned himself to lean his head on her shoulder just facing forward and focusing on playing with her fingers, lacing them fingers with his.

In all the time since she’d woken up, Y/n was yet to broach the subject of their babies name yet. She sensed it was a sensitive topic to say the least, so had thought it best to wait till they were properly alone - not in a ward of 6 strangers where the only privacy came in flimsy blue curtains.

“So…. Aurora huh? Thought it was too airy-fairy, head-in-the-clouds for you?” Smiling lightly, both of them were transported back to the pregnancy when they spent hours and hours bickering over names. Aurora had always been Y/n’s favourite but to Tom thought it was more a name for a hippy kid who went around clad in tie dye and bandanas.

“Still is a bit...but I needed a bit of a miracle and Iceland was in my head. Plus I sort of accidentally word vomited while shouting at Haz, for being nice to me.” Iceland as in when Tom had proposed under the aurora borealis in the freezing sky - when Y/n had agreed, promised even, to be with him forever.

“But you like it?”

“Of course... mother always knows best after all.”

“I think it suits her too. One of your best choices to date, listening to me.” Y/n mused, earning herself a very delicate but still playful elbow in the side before the room drifted back to a much more comfortable silence.

“We’re gonna get through this you know? Me, you and her, we’re together in this... I’m sorry I wasn’t in the beginning and I’m sorry I hurt you but now? I promise you got me and I’m not going anywhere…” Y/n needed to say it and needed Tom to properly listen. “ ...literally, I still cant walk properly.” Tom chuckled wetly at that, which made Y/n feel a lot better too.

To be completely honest, Tom was still hurt and he knew it’d take some mending to move past everything. By no means did he blame Y/n in anyway but just the fact he was left alone and abandoned - well, it was the worst time in his life. The way Y/n understood that and had apologised to him - if completely unnecessarily- meant everything. Meant she would help him to heal... whilst he helped her too.

“Can we just go to sleep? I need to wake up beside you in our bed not at tiny hospital one.” It was only 3 in the afternoon but because of Y/n’s medicine she was constantly drowsy and Tom? Tom was still in this permanent state of exhaustion. So it wasn’t so much of a weird request as it was on the face of it. With a nod, Y/n shuffled down on the bed a bit more resting her head against the top of Tom’s. It was exactly what they both needed, just a bit of peace with each other.

That lasted all of 5 minutes before Aurora woke and started to scream.

Life had most definitely changed. Especially for Tom. Because even though he was he was mentally and physically exhausted, he only appreciated his daughters screams whole heartedly... because Y/n was there groaning with a tired smile too. They were in this together.

~~~~

I really hope the ending didnt disappoint too much, im aware its rushed as hell, but thank you for getting this far! And I hope maybe this series has done a teeny tiny bit to normalise not everything in pregnancy and child birth being perfect - that there is morbidity and mortality associated. Obviously this is all fictional (esp the amazingly quick recovery and lack of neurological/other impairments) and not medically accurate in the slightest !!

my inbox is always open :) t x

Tagging : @whitewolf51

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #dad!tom #Tom Holland angst

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mageofseven · 3 years

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hi!!! i just requested this on another blog too but i am FIRED UP rn abt the angel event, and i was wondering if you could do hcs for the brothers with an mc who is SUPER pissed off abt the bangles and stuff (bc its just wrong on SO many levels), especially bc they have religious trauma of their own (its the internalized lgbt-phobia for me 😎) AKRHWJRJE thank u

Yeah...this became a rant that I had no idea I was holding within myself. I've put it all under a Read More thing for those who haven't seen or finished the event for whatever reason. The actual content asked for is below this rant so feel free to skip over it for the real reason y'all are reading this 😅

Okay, people seem to be very...negatively passionate about this event. Don't get me wrong; I understand and agree with why everyone is upset. Playing with the brother's trauma (well, most of the brother's trauma since Satan wasn't alive at the time and Asmo seemed pretty chill with the whole angelic thing) for sake of an event? That's fucked up.

On a story level, I was at first mad at Diavolo. I mean, surely, surely that man knows what horrible stuff Lucifer and his brothers went through or at least part of it, because the ending of it all is what brought the brothers to him! And maybe he thought the costume change was okay since Asmo requested it? But even so, the consent of one brother does not equal the consent of all brothers to dress up like their past selves!

Then bangles. Simeon knew what they did and still gave them to the brothers. Okay, upsetting, but Michael told him to give them to the brothers and maybe he can't refuse an archangel? I dunno but fuck you, Michael.

I'll admit though, those bangles helped the brother do good things and get past their gnawing insecurities (Mammon selling his stuff and donating the money to charity, Asmo know longer stressing over looking perfect and finding peace with his looks and ultimately, learning to truly love himself in a way he never did before), but such things happened for the wrong reasons. I want those good changes for our boys, but I don't want it forced on them like it has been in this event. I want them to reflect, see that a changes is need, and choose to work in themselves and self-heal.

This event was just a lot of me smiling uncomfortably and screaming in my head "what's happening to my sinny boys??". It honestly broke my heart when Luce said he didn't have any fond memories of his time as an angel and I was so worried about all of the bad memories that must be flooding his mind because of this, especially his since his brother, though began with anxiety in the beginning, fell into what's practically mind control quite easily, and only Luce was left fighting it's affects.

Some parts of the event were cute, I won't deny that, but it wasn't them. We didn't truly have our boys during this event and instead had to watch them revert to state they likely never wanted to and it hurt to watch...

Okay, I started this rant trying to make a point that I thought the rest of the fandom felt too strongly about this event and now I'm like...ouch, I had a lot more feelings in me about it than I originally thought. So ya, I understand now. Imma just hide in the corner and hug my Luci...

Lucifer:

Truly surprised to see MC so worked up

And lowkey touched that they care so much about both his and his brothers' wellbeing to the point where they'd get so mad on their behalf.

However, he cannot allow for them to speak to Lord Diavolo in such a manner.

Pulls them to the side and tells them enough is enough, consequently bringing their harsh comments towards Simeon to halt as well.

Getting worked up is not going to fix anything and he tells them this.

Mammon:

Whoa, whoa, hold up! Enough!

No need to get that mad, human, honest!

Yeah, this isn't gonna be easy for them, but he doesn't need MC digging their own hole in this situation.

Immediately works on comforting them, saying things like he and his brothers will get out of this in no time so they don't have to worry.

Essentially lies to them and feels extra guilty about it thanks to the bangles, but no stupid bracelet is gonna make him admit that and hurt his human worse!

Overall, MC's outburst forces him to focus on them and not his own current issues.

Leviathan:

Another brother so worried about them that he has to shelve his own worries to comfort them

...or at least, he tries to.

Basically agrees with everything Mammon says (the bangles make that a hell of a lot easier for him to do) and anxiously fidgets in place.

He has enough to worry about and now his Henry is acting like this? Things just keep getting worse.

Satan:

Sighs

"MC, now is not time for this."

You know when the Avatar of Wrath says you shouldn't be giving into angry right now that you really shouldn't be.

Appreciates that the human is so worried about them, but really doesn't need their yelling on top of the current issue.

Whether this is his own logic talking or the calming effect of the bangles, the man cannot discern.

Regardless, this situation is more of an inconvenience to him than anything else.

He never was an angel nor went through the trauma his brothers have. At best, he just has a small, vague patchwork of Lucifer's memories of that time.

He becomes increasingly unsettled as time in this form goes by, but doesn't struggle in the same way his brothers do.

Asmodeus:

"Oh stop, it'll be fine!"

The only brother to try to remain positive in the situation.

I mean, at least his outfit is cute, right?

The bangles do raise up a kind of anxiety that he doesn't want to deal with, but if he just smiles and pretends things are fine, maybe all of his issues will go away?

Doesn't like MC getting so angry because it reminds him that this is indeed a problem and he doesn't want that.

Beelzebub:

Sad baby boy.

More worried about MC than he is about himself tbh.

Please don't be mad, MC, it'll get fixed somehow 🥺

Despite being one of the afflicted, feels like he needs to watch over the human during this time.

Belphegor:

Ugh, stop.

Yeah, he's pissed too, but enough yelling about it.

Agrees with everything they spew out at the demon lord and angel.

Devil, just fix this, someone.

He doesn't want to be forced to be like his prior self, as if the loss of his sister never happened because it did happened.

Fuck Diavolo for always doing whatever the hell he wants. Fuck Michael for still wanting to control them even now. Fuck everything that's going on right now.

#obey me #obey me otome #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me mc #obey me gn!mc

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