And The Stars Will Guide Us Home- Chapter 3
A Batfam/BSD crossover series, Dazai x Fem!Reader
Chapter two <------ Chapter three -----> Chapter four
Ranpo was used to staying at the agency until the oddest of hours. He wasn’t unfamiliar to waking up to a dark and deserted office to find out all the others have already called it a day, (they used to attempt to wake him up, but found that to be hazardous to all parties. Junichiro says he almost chomped off his finger, but Ranpo, of course has no recollection of such thing.) but this was the first time it ever felt wrong.
Maybe because from a legal standpoint, this could be classified as ‘breaking and entering’, but Ranpo has never been much for formalities.
Maybe it wouldn’t be as much of a case if Ranpo had any logical reason as to why he’s here, like if he forgot important case files, his phone or his beloved candy. But no. Ranpo doesn’t know why he’s here. As much as he tries to pin something to it, he can’t. He just knows something is wrong.
Something much more than Yoru.
Chapter warnings: Dazai typical double suicide mention
Word count: 7042
Tick
Tock
Tick
Ranpos eyes narrow at the analog clock, eyebrow nearly twitching in irritation
Tick
Tock
Tick
“H-hey Ranpo? Everything good?” Junichiro asks, peeking out from his desk.
Instead of an answer like a normal human, Ranpo barely spares him a glance, along with displeased hmph.
“Um, okay, I guess.” Junichiro mutters.
“Don’t mind him, he’s just upset that Fukuzawa isn’t back yet.” Kunikida shares, eyes unmoved from his computer monitor, click clacking away on a report Dazai was supposed to file a week ago, but left it untouched and is now missing in action. Again.
“He was supposed to be back days ago. Where the hell is he?” he crossed his arms, letting out a grumble that sounded a lot like ‘he was supposed to bring me snacks.’
“Just use your super deduction,” Yosano suggested as she leaned back in her desk chair. “If you’re that pressed about it, super detective.”
“I’m not ‘pressed’, first of all and second its worlds greatest detective” he corrects as he ennonciates the last three words, grabbing a lollipop in his pocket. “Not super. ‘Super’ makes me seem like the protagonist of a shitty cartoon.”
Yosano shrugs. “You sure act like one.”
“What does that mean?!”
The door clicks open to reveal the man of the hour and the head of the agency, Fukuzawa Yukichi. “Good morning, everyone”
The agency residents all responded in kind, all except for Ranpo of course.
“What took you so long? Where were you all this time?” he almost scolded, shoving his unopened lollipop back into his pocket, sounding much like a nagging mother suspicious of her teenage son.
“Like I told you, I was meeting with a colleague in the states.” Fukuzawa said, unbothered (and used to) Ranpos antics
“You also said you would be back on the fifth. Four days ago.” he recalled. “You got some explain’ to do.”
Before Kunikida could chide Ranpo on respecting the president, Fukuzawa surprised them all by agreeing with his temperamental son. “You’re right, Ranpo.” He clears his throat. “May I have everyone’s attention please?'' His firm voice echoed the room, gaining the eyes and ears of the few who weren’t already invested.
“As you may know, I was meeting with a colleague of mine overseas and was supposed to return a few days ago,” his eyes glanced over to Ranpo, who once again looked like a nagging mother, waiting for her son's explanation for staying out too late. “But due to unforeseen events, there were some..complications.”
“What do you mean ‘complications’? Is everything okay?” Kunikida chimed in, report forgotten.
“Yes, everything is fi-”
“Bitch i’m a cow, bitch i’m a cow, bitch im a–”
Everyone stops at the vulgar music coming from the President's office
Crash!
Several murmurs sounding suspiciously like ‘son of a bitch’, ‘i swear to fucking god’ and ‘i’m gonna kill them next time I see them’ leak out of the office.
A moment of silence happens as looks of general confusion are exchanged.
“Is everything alright in there?” Fukuzawa asks.
After a pregnant pause (one of embarrassment everyone rightfully assumes) the voice responds. “Uh, yeah. Sorry, that was an alarm.” she explains before quickly adding “My friends changed it and I uh never got to change it back… or turn the alarm off for that matter.”
“Well, I was just explaining our situation, might as well introduce yourself properly.” Fukuzawa said.
Another pregnant pause. “Right now?”
“Yes, right now.”
“Uh, well i’d love to, I really would but I um, am not very workplace presentable?”
“The Agency doesn’t have much of a dress code. The only rule to really follow is to wear shoes, which I never thought had to be implemented,” he looks towards Kenji, who scrambles to slide on his sandals. “But here we are.”
“Well I definitely have shoes, but, hm.” She pauses to find the right words. “I would love to meet the lovely members of the Agency while dressed in something more business casual and less…. Hobo chic.”
The president's eyebrows furrow slightly. “Aren’t you wearing my coat?”
“I am, and it’s a wonderful coat!” she replies quickly, sensing her mistake in words.
She sighs, sliding open the office door. “It's just paired with a tank top that is at least three sizes to large from a gas station I never heard of, a pair of jeans held up by a shoestring, and boots that I can guarantee you weren’t supposed to be this color. That paired with the fact that it has been a long 48 hours without a shower in sight, I look like a homeless tweenager you picked off the street.”
“Careful Ranpo, she’s stealing your brand.” Yosano whispered, receiving a nudge from Ranpos elbow in return.
“Given those 48 hours, I assure you, you look fine.” Fukuzawa assure, beckoning her over to him and the others. “Yoru, this is the Detective Agency.”
Yoru gave a polite smile, tucking a greasy wayward strand of hair behind her ear, bringing attention to the eyepatch over her left eye.
A detail in which Ranpo was restraining himself from asking about, given he doesn’t really feel in the mood for another lecture from Fukuzawa about ‘manners’ and ‘respect’.
“It’s nice to meet you all.” She gave a curt bow. “I’ve heard so many things about all of you.”
“All good things I hope.” Kunikida politely replies
Suddenly, the door to the office slams open, revealing a slightly out of breath Dazai. Hand still on the door, hunched over, he pants. “GUYS WHY DIDN”T OF YOU TELL ME THEY FILLED IN THE SINKHOLE BY THE CORNER SHOP?!” he wheezes, gathering enough of his breath to stand up properly. “I just read about a wonderful way to commit-” his brain finally catches up to his mouth after wondering why Kunikida hasn’t scolded him for slamming the door and yelling (again) “Oh the Prez is back!” he cheers, eyes then landing on the woman of the hour, Yoru. His eyes widen, just for a second before oozing into his seductive charm. “Well hello there.” he purrs
Yoru turns to Kunikida. “Let’s just leave it at ‘things’”
Kunikida sighs deeply, the kind of sigh that everyone knows is only reserved for the suicidal manicac they call Dazai. “That’s…. That’s definitely understandable.”
Ranpo raises his eyebrow,
Y’know most people wouldn’t recognise the small things, such as a pause, a stutter or a hitch of a breath. They are written off as insignificant, unimportant. But not to Ranpo. Ranpos knows how to read the silence, especially when it comes to the people he’s surrounded by most.
That's why he notices how Dazai’s eyes widened.
Just for a second he let his mask slip.
Ranpo has known Dazai for a few years now. They aren’t necessarily close by any means, but if Ranpo knows anything about Dazai, it’s that he will do anything to deter others from seeing the real him. He has a perfectly crafted persona he waves around like a shield, repelling others and keeping them at a distance. He’s good at playing pretend, one of the best Ranpo’s ever met, but even the most experienced actors forget their lines and Ranpo has been patiently waiting to see it happen.
He just never expected it to be like this.
His green orbs drifted over to Yoru’s slightly confused expression.
Just who are you?
Dazai lightly graces his hand in Yorus. “I’ve never seen a maiden this fair! Oh Belladonna, would you make me the happiest man alive and-”
“Dazai this is the first and last time i’ll be telling you this, so it would be wise of you to listen up. If you ever ask my daughter to commit a double suicide with you, i will put you on office work for the rest of your days and dock your pay.” Fukuzawa says swiftly, removing Dazais hand from Yoru’s as if it was contaminated with a vicious disease.
“DAUGHTER?” Various detectives say in shock.
“I’m sorry, double what now?” Yoru asks.
“Yes, I was surprised too.” Fukuzawa shares. “I hardly ever thought I'd have children, let alone a grown one living in New Jersey. But nevertheless, it is my absolute pleasure to introduce you to my daughter, Fukuzawa Yoru.”
“Please just call me Yoru, it’s way less confusing.” she states.
“Hey is he okay…?” Atsushi asks, gesturing over to Ranpo, who stood wide-eyed and frozen.
“Yoo-hoo! Is anybody home?” Kenji waves a hand in front of his face.
“I think he’s twitching a little..” Atsushi adds worryingly.
“We broke Ranpo!” Kenji cried.
Yosano waves her hand dismissively. “Just give him a minute.”
“WHAT!” Ranpo snaps, making Kenji recoil back.
“Ope, and there it is…” She murmurs
Well, a man can’t be rational all the time.
“You really expect us to believe this random girl is your daughter? Seriously?”
Fukuzawas eyebrows furrow. “Ranpo…”
“Someone’s jealous…” Yosano whispers in a singsong tone, taking a sip of her drink.
“So you go to America for a “business trip” and come back with a daughter. A daughter. Really?” he crosses his arms. “I didn’t think you were in the business of opening foreign women’s legs!”
Yosano chokes on her drink.
“Ranpo!” Fukuzawa scolds.
Yoru, instead of being offended in any way, burst out into laughter, swiftly apologizing after receiving a look from Fukuzawa. “Sorry.” she apologizes. “That wasn’t funny. Well..” she chuckles. “Maybe a little bit. But that's besides the point. My mother wasn’t foreign… at least I'm pretty sure. I was born and raised here in Japan. She reveals.
“Yeah and you just so happen to be in the same city as my f- as Fukuzawa.” Ranpo retorts as several of the agency members glance to each other, confirming Ranpo’s slip up.
“Uh, no? I moved there years ago?”
“Why?”
Yoru tilts her head in confusion. “Why what?”
“Why did you move from Japan, duh.” Ranpo retorted.
“Because…I… wanted… to?” she answered slowly and confused.
“Ranpo, that’s enough.” Fukuzawa interrupts.
“Do you seriously think this woman is your daughter? This could be a ploy to learn agency secrets!” he whisper yelled, as if Yoru wasn't standing feet away from him.
This time it was Kunikida scolding his name.
“Don’t act like we weren’t all thinking it!” he declared.
“Ranpo.” Fukuzawas loud voice boomed through the agency. A voice powerful enough to even placate Ranpo’s rants and loud claims. “These allegations are not only insulting to my intelligence, but to Yoru as well. You have no idea what she had to go through to get here and you have no right to spout such claims.” Ranpo bites his cheek to hold back a retort. “Apologize this instant.”
“But-”
“Ranpo.” Fukuzawa warns.
“It’s fine.” Yoru cuts in, placing a hand on Fukuzawas shoulder. “Really.” she assures. “If I was in his spot, I'd be thinking the same thing.” she rubs the back of her neck bashfully. “I don’t blame any of you for being wary of me, you guys are detectives after all. It’s your jobs not to take anything at face value and to be suspicious when need be. Believe me when I say I am not quite convinced this is just a really bad trip or something and I'm going to wake up in my bed back in Jersey. Sleeping peacefully and not in this mess”
The agency members all turn their heads to Ranpo, whose eyes are squinted in judgment, waiting for his verdict.
Ranpo clicks his tongue. “Well if you leave now, who knows? Your bed may still be warm.”
Several agency members groan or shake their heads.
“What?” Ranpo retaliates. “She obviously doesn’t wanna be here anyway! I’m just stating all her options! She left before, because she wanted to, what's stopping her from leaving now?”
“The fact that she would be putting all her loved ones in danger, perhaps.” Fukuzawa states firmly. “It wasn’t an easy feat moving back here, but I promised her we’d welcome her with open arms.” His stone cold eyes glare into Ranpo’s “I wasn’t planning on being made a liar.”
“Well I didn’t think you were planning on being an idiot!” Ranpo shouts. “First, coming home with some random girl claiming to be your daughter all the sudden, then revealing that her presence brings danger? Don’t we deal with enough threats from the Port Mafia? We don’t need to deal with another nuisance disrupting everything!”
“Ranpo, I brought danger to her. Her life was disrupted by me.” Fukuzawa spoke.
Ranpo blinked in confusion. “What?”
Fukuzawa sighed. “Enemies of mine found out I had a daughter and attempted to use her against me. Enemies who have known of her existence for years and have spent just as long tracking her down. It was an unfortunate coincidence that Yoru and I happened to be in the same city, whereas they used it as the time to strike. It was entirely my fault she was kidnapped and put in harm's way. It is the absolute least I can do, bringing her here to Yokohama with me and making sure other enemies of mine don’t try to do the same.” he revealed.
Ranpo looks at his feet, in shame or in anger, he is not quite sure.
“Now I am not a fool, Ranpo. I made sure that Yoru is in fact, my daughter, via numerous tests. Even if she wasn’t it’s still in best interest that I make sure that she is not harmed just because others believe she is. I’m not interested in letting anyone suffer because of me, relation or otherwise. Yoru is here and she is here to stay. End of discussion. If any of you have any non-disrespectful questions you would like to ask, you can do it after she gets settled into the dorms. Her first day is tomorrow, I hope i can rightfully assume you all to show her the ropes.”
Ranpos' head immediately pipes up. “What?! She works here now?”
“Yes, hence why introduced her and why she’s staying in the dorms.” he says blankly.
“B-but we don’t need any more secretaries! The ones we have handle everything on their own!”
“You’re correct, that’s why starting today she’s a detective of the agency, just like you and the others.”
“What?! But she never passed an entrance exam!” he pleads. “And she doesn’t even have an ability! H-how do you expect her to help protect the agency if she can’t protect herself from getting kidnapped!”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Yosano retorted.
“That was really mean, Ranpo.” said Junichiro.
“Yeah, and low. Even for you.” Added Dazai, who looked more than ready to chow down on some popcorn and watch the drama unfold.
With pursed lips, Yoru claps her hands. “You know what?” Yoru starts.
“Yoru…” Fukuzawa warns.
“No, I'm really too tired for this. I really am.” she states turning to Ranpo. “It’s Ranpo, right?”
“Duh.” he comments. “This ones a little slow….” he murmurs
She sighs, exhausted. “Look, I don’t know what kind of relationship you and my father have, and frankly? It’s none of my goddamn business.”
His eyes widened.
“I’m not trying to get in the way of that. To be frank, I'm not trying to get into anything. I just wanna mind my business and do my own thing. I’m damn good at that. I’ve been doing my own thing all my life. I've learned to be independent, I never had a choice not to.” she informs. “And none of that changes just because I met Mr Sperm Donor over there.” she points to Fukuzawa, before turning her head and adding a curt “no offense, of course.”
He nods in understanding. “None taken.”
“I don’t suddenly have a need for a father figure, or some daddy daughter relationship. I lost all hope of having a biological traditional family before I lost my first tooth and that hasn’t changed. Yeah it’s pretty cool getting to meet my father after all this time, but that’s about it. It’s pretty cool. I get to ask some questions that I never had answered and I get to learn a few things about me that I didn’t know. In all honesty, I’d rather have lived my whole life without knowing the answer to those questions if it meant my whole life didn’t have to get uprooted like this.” she turns her head once again to Fukuzawa. “Again, this isn’t on you, I am very glad to have met you, I just wish I could’ve done so in literally any other way. I’ve finally felt like I got my shit together, then I'm whisked back here. I don’t know why any of this couldn’t have happened, y’know, when I actually lived here and needed a parent instead of 12 different group homes, but ce la vie, I guess.” she gives an awkward laugh. “Y’know, they told me that you aren’t a real Gothamite until you are kidnapped and or held hostage. I guess I'm a ‘true Gothamite’ now. Too bad I had to leave, huh.”
Ohhhh. Ranpo thought, clicking pieces together, biting his lip to hide his smirk. Gotham huh?
“Anyway as I was saying, and to wrap it all up,” she places a hand on his shoulder. “Just because you have a new sibling, doesn’t mean father loves you any less, m’kay?” she says in an almost sickly sweet tone, giving his shoulder two taps as if she was saying ‘go get ‘em’ to a little kid.
“Y’know when Fukuzawa said you would give me the hardest time I thought it was because you were paranoid or something, not that you had daddy issues.” she said casually, throwing her bag over her shoulder. “Out of everyone he told me about, I was most excited to meet you if i’m being honest. He made you out to be this super genius prodigy, but in actuality you are just whiney,” she fixes the strap of her eye patch, “and wrong.”
She starts to walk past him but stops, remembering something. “Oh, well I guess you were right about something.” she says without turning her head. I did let myself get kidnapped. I went quietly with them to protect the people I care about and innocent bystanders. But I did save my fathers life just a few hours later. Pretty good for someone who couldn’t protect themselves, eh?”
Continuing on walking, she only gets a few steps. “One last thing,” she said, turning her head around. “I do have an ability, not that it’s any of your business. But I heard that having one wasn’t needed, isn’t that right?”
Ranpo grinds his teeth.
“Fukuzawa can you point me in the way of a shower? Please and thank you.” she asks.
Fukuzawa nods. “Yes, I'll take you to your dorm. All of them are already occupied, so you will be rooming with Atsushi.”
The weretiger gulped and gave an awkward wave and a sheep ‘hello!’ which Yoru replied in kind.
Facing the detectives, Yoru gives a polite smile. “It was nice to meet all of you, and I look forward to working with each of you.” she said kindly. “Even you, Ranpo.”
“Let’s get going.” Fukuzawa intervenes from the doorway.
“Yeah, just one last thing!” She turns to Ranpo. “Thanks for the candy.” she said with a mischievous wink, plopping a familiar lollipop in her mouth.
Ranpo frantically pats down his jacket and pants pocket searching for his lollipop, because there’s no way she could’ve taken it right? How?
The sounds of Yosano's cackling and Dazai’s ‘ooooooooooh’ muffle the sound of the door closing but Ranpo could still hear Fukuzawa’s tired sigh of defeat.
“I thought I told you to play nice.”
Accompanied by a slightly garbled, “I was nice!” then a popping noise Ranpo knew all too well. The sound of someone taking out their lollipop to speak. His lollipop that should be in his mouth.
“For the most part.”
“Oh my fucking godddd.” Yosano exclaims between choked breaths of laughter. “She is my new favorite co-worker!” She was hunched over, cradling her stomach in one hand and pounding on her desk, shaking and spilling droplets of her drink.
“She read you like a book.” Dazai comments, looking entirely too pleased with this situation.
“I wonder if she actually thinks she’s a cow or if she just really likes them…” Kenji wonders aloud.
“Well, Ranpo, I hope this taught you how to not to treat others.” Kunikida states, ‘fixing his glasses’ (that already sat perfectly aligned on his face) in a way that poorly covered the smug grin on his face. “It was about damn time you learned that lesson.” Then, fully registering what Kenji said, he adds “Kenji, I don’t think…” before just ending the sentence in a sigh.
“She read your ass like a book! Then took your candy!” Yosano cheers, spinning around in her office chair. “She’s my hero.”
Tsking, Ranpo rolls his eyes as he digs into his pocket where his dearly departed lollipop once lied. “Yeah, well she’s not gonna get away with it that easily.” To his surprise, his fingers dance along a smooth glassy surface, rolling it into his hands as he shines it to the light.
A small glass marble, barely the size of his thumbnail, glistened and shined in the light.
“Whoever she really is.”
Ranpo was used to staying at the agency until the oddest of hours. He wasn’t unfamiliar to waking up to a dark and deserted office to find out all the others have already called it a day, (they used to attempt to wake him up, but found that to be hazardous to all parties. Junichiro says he almost chomped off his finger, but Ranpo, of course has no recollection of such thing.) but this was the first time it ever felt wrong.
Maybe because from a legal standpoint, this could be classified as ‘breaking and entering’, but Ranpo has never been much for formalities.
Maybe it wouldn’t be as much of a case if Ranpo had any logical reason as to why he’s here, like if he forgot important case files, his phone or his beloved candy. But no. Ranpo doesn’t know why he’s here. As much as he tries to pin something to it, he can’t. He just knows something is wrong.
Something much more than Yoru.
Starting with the fact that Fukuzawa had to go Gotham in the first place. The president is no stranger to long out of country business trips, but he at least informs the agency, at least he informs Ranpo, what city he is visiting. Ranpo likes to believe its so that Ranpo can ask for the snacks that are popular in said city, but deep down knows it's because of the respect they have for each other.
‘Respect I'm breaching my sneaking into his office,’ the angel on his shoulder tells him as he slides open the door.
‘No.’ he counters back ‘this needs to be done. For his sake and mine.’
Ranpo turns on a lap, illuminating the tiny office in a dull yellow light. ‘I need to find out why. ’
Several ‘why’s in fact:
Why he hid where he was going?.
No, Ranpo knows that. He hid because Ranpo knows that the only reason he’d be going to Gotham is to see Bruce Wayne. Batman. A colleague he has known long before Ranpo, and a colleague he hasn’t heard from in almost just as long. Fukuzawa has shared that despite his perfectly crafted persona, ‘Bruce isn’t the social type’ and doesn’t bother with idle pleasantries. From everything Ranpo collected about Bruce over the years he can confidently say that Bruce is just a smarter, richer, edgier version of Kunikida from their ideals to their self sacrificing tendencies. Which leads to his second ‘why’.
Why he met with Bruce.
Like Kunikida, Bruce has problems asking for help. It’s obvious from any kind of media you read on him and how he interacts with the other Bats and Birds that he’d rather face an army himself before inconveniencing others, whether it’s for their sake or for his pride. Probably both. So what could be so important that he would have to summon a colleague (who he hasn’t spoken to in over a decade mind you,) from across the globe? What could be important enough to send his only daughter to Japan? Why and how is she important enough to be in the center of everything going on?
Yoru.
Yoru isn’t ‘technically’ a why, but she might as well be with all the question marks she has surrounding her. It would be easier for Ranpo to list all he does know about her, and even then he isn’t completely sure that his observations aren’t just the facade she’s putting up. Hell, he doesn’t even know if the eyepatch she’s wearing has a purpose or is just trying to push a hidden agenda.
Ranpo assumes (90% sure) that she is Batgirl given what he knows about the Birds and Bats, which is quite a lot. The vigilantes of Gotham were another week-long fixation that passed through Ranpo a few years back after uncovering Batman's true identity and prolonging the dopamine high of being right (again, of course.) where he barely left his computer. In the end he was in such a rabbit hole that he was watching videos on how to make a Kryptonite bomb. He isn’t quite sure if he’s not on Batman’s watchlist now, but that’s besides the point. The last time he checked Batgirl was a cheery redhead with bright green eyes and freckles and well… let’s just say Yoru doesn’t quite fit the description. But hey, if they’re following a similar path as the Robin title, more than one person can don the title of Batgirl. If Ranpo is correct, Yoru has been playing the role of Batgirl for eight or so years, about the same time as Bruce publicly adopted another orphan by the name of Y/n Wayne. Ranpo never much bothered to keep up with the whole Wayne/Batman crew after his inital hyperfixation (he grew bored. Why keep looking into something you already know?) but he has a slight feeling if he found one of the rare photos of Y/n Wayne online she would have more than a few similarities with Fukuzawas supposed ‘daughter’
That being said, Yoru, Y/n, whatever her name is, has to have known Fukuzawa beforehand. Their interactions are way too..fluid to have been perfect strangers merely a few days prior. His father figure is way too stiff (for a lack of a better word) to be all buddy buddy with someone he just met, even if she was his biological daughter. They just seemed so in sync. Like they know something nobody else in the room does.
Ranpo just can’t believe he’s the only one who sees it.
It doesn’t take ultra deduction to know when people are full of shit.
KERTHUNK
A searing pain travels through Ranpos toe as he awkwardly hops around holding it, silently cursing Fukuzawas stupid desk and wondering since when was it this close to the freakin’ door?! Mid jump, the great detective nearly trips over some foreign object on the floor and almost shatters the expensive vase Fukuzawa obtained from Hong Kong. So much for being discreet. He sighs as he regains his balance, picking up the object, no objects.
“Fukuzawa’s phone ... .and wallet?” he whispers to himself. I mean that explains why he hasn’t answered any of my calls. He sets them back on the desk, where they most likely laid before his toe was brutally attacked by the desk. Then out of the corner of his eye, he spots a tiny white slip of paper.
No, a photograph. A polaroid, in fact.
Why would Fukuzawa keep a photograph in his wallet?
He picks it up and he can't tell from the texture alone that the photo has been contained in his wallet for a long time now.
Suddenly, he hears footsteps approaching the door and quickly slides the photo into his pocket just as Fukuzawa flickers on the lights.
“Ranpo? What are you doing here?” he asks. “Please tell me you didn’t fall asleep here again.”
“I did not!” he pouts. Besides, that only happened, like, once.”
“It happened multiple times.”
“Okay, but not recently!”
“Last Sunday you called Kunikida to come let you out because you were locked in. It was two in the morning.”
Ranpo muttered something that sounded an awful lot like Damn snitch.
“But if you didn’t fall asleep here then why are you here, Ranpo?” Fukuzawa asks.
“You weren’t answering your phone.” he half lies, picking up and dangling the phone by its corner. “You had me worried.” he says as he gently tosses it to his ‘boss’ who catches it without batting an eye.
“You are perfectly aware I am more than fine taking care of myself.” he retorts.
Ranpo shrugs. “Yeah, I thought so, but….”
Ranpo knows he shouldn’t, but the words boil up on their tongue, hot and searing, spilling out his mouth.
“this little masquerade you have with batgirl is telling me different.”
The room turns icy and cold, and Ranpo can’t dare to look Fukuzawa in the face, so he settles for the space between his head and shoulder.
“Just who is she here to protect?” he asks, each word getting more bold and rapid. “What is she hiding from? Who is she hiding from? Scratch that, what are you-”
“Ranpo.”
Ranpo was instantly silenced as a hush fell over the office.
Ranpo has known Fukuzawa for many many years. Years of ups and downs, joy and hardships, but rarely did Fukuzawa ever use this tone.
Especially with him.
“I’m going to say this once, do you understand?”
Ranpo stands frozen, in disbelief, in shock. This was the voice he used to criminals, to enemies, to Dazai when one of his pranks on kunikida required poison control to vacate and abandon their entire building for a week, but not him. Never him.
“Do. You. Understand?” he asks, slow and clear, but with enough edge to even startle the most hardened soldiers of war.
Unable to speak, Ranpo nods vigorously.
“Drop it.”
Huh? Ranpo thinks.
“Do not investigate this any further. I know it may be hard for you to understand, so I'm putting it in the simplest terms. Drop. It.”
Oh. Ranpo didn’t think he said that out loud.
“This subject is none of your business. Plain and simple.”
“But-” Ranpo whimpers. “H-How am I supposed to just sit here a-and pretend nothing is wrong? Something is clearly happening and you expect me to look the other way?”
“Yes.”
Ranpo bunches his hands into his coat. “How? How do you expect me to do that? I’m a detective! I'm supposed to learn about all these hidden truths and find out all the secrets!”
“This isn’t a game, Ranpo!” he shouts, taking Ranpo aback. Sighing, and rubbing his temples with his calloused hand he relents. “You can’t always ‘save the day’ or be a hero. Sometimes the most heroic thing a person can do is look the other way and keep their mouth shut.” he said, grabbing his key and phone and turning towards the door before pausing. “I know you don’t trust her.” he starts. “And that’s fine. I can’t make you. But I need you to trust in me this time. I think that’s more than fair after all I've trusted in you.” He slides open the door and sighs again. “If you really can’t fight the urge to snoop, I recommend just asking her yourself. She won’t tell you much but maybe it will quell your worries about her.”
“Like Batman? I heard people say he’s the greatest detective.” Ranpo comments, setting up the scene
Yoru just shrug, undisturbed. “Some do.”
“Well what do you think?”
She gives a humorless, awkward laugh. “I don’t really think I know enough to answer that question? Most people in Gotham have never even seen Batman before, let alone interact with him long enough to test his deduction skills.”
Ranpo shrugs. “Yeah, I guess you are right. But you would.” he states, slowing down to deliver the blow.
“Wouldn’t you, Batgirl?”
Her eyes widen just for a fraction of a second before going back to their normal state. “Hmm,” she puts her hands in her slightly-too-large leather jacket. “I don’t believe there’s an accurate way to measure intelligence.” she said, continuing to stroll, undisturbed.
Ranpos eyebrows furrow. “Well that wasn’t what I was asking.” he informs. “One can be intelligent without having deductive skills.” he said, picking up his pace to match speed with the woman. He has to say, she does look more like a ‘bat’ today than yesterday. Long leather jacket with broad shoulders (probably a men’s jacket. Well worn on some edges, maybe a gift? Most likely have sentimental value), a black mock turtleneck and ripped jeans with black combat boots to match. The only thing that stands out is her weird choice of jewelry. A shimmering marble-esque belt that catches the light in every step she makes, and a slightly more subtle pendant dangling around her neck with only remnants of shine flaking through when the light hits a certain angle.
“Well in my humble opinion, the best detectives don’t need to go around bragging about their skills.” she shares.
“It's because they don’t have the skills to back it up.” he retorts. “Like I do.”
“Or,” she starts. “Maybe they are just smart enough to not paint a target on their back.” She briefly looks back at him. “You can’t be the world's greatest detective if you’re dead.”
Ranpo furrows his eyebrows. “W-well are we not gonna talk about how I knew-”
“Hey Ranpo, did anyone ever tell you that you are too loud.” she interrupts, silencing his words that passersbys can so easily pick up. She sighs. “Fukuzawa told me that regardless if the others believed him or not, you would be the only person that decided they needed to say something about it.” she shakes her head in displeasure. “Have you ever heard of the phrase, ‘loose lips, sink ships?’”
“Was I supposed to?”
She sighs again. “Never mind.” a beat of silence between them passes. “Y’know,” Ranpo looks from the ground to her as she starts. “If you were trying to impress me by finding out our little… ‘family secret’…my brother found out when he was like, nine or so. He has you beauty by quite a bit.”
“I didn’t just find this out, I’ll have you know!” he corrects. “I don’t live in Gotham and never had the need to do anything with that info! I’ve been sitting on it for years!”
Her pace comes to a halt, making him almost run into her. “And what do you plan on doing with that information?” she asks, solemnly and almost cold.
Damn. She might not be biologically related to Batman, but she’s definitely her fathers daughter. Ranpo would hate to be on the other side of an interrogation from either of them and is very glad he is on the side of the straight and narrow.
“I’m going to continue to sit on it.” he almost whimpers, like a dog scolded after chewing up the rug. “My throne of secrets it’s quite comfortable, actually.”
Yoru chuckles, dark energy fading around her like it was never there. “Good.”
“Good?” he repeats, confused as she picks her pace up once again.
“Yup.”
“You aren’t gonna question me or anything? Just a ‘good’’?
She gives a quick laugh. “Even though you do definitely talk too much, I think you know when to keep your mouth shut when it matters.” she admits. ‘Besides, Fukuzawa trusts you, and I can tell he has a lot of respect for you, so.” she shrugs. “Not much I could really do but say ‘good.”
“Huh.” Ranpo slides his hands into his pockets. “I guess we are in the same boat then, aren't we?”
“Yeah.” she agrees. “I guess we are.”
A pregnant pause settles in, not quite uncomfortable like before, but one on the balancing line of comradery and understanding. Hm. This must’ve been what Fukuzawa meant. Ranpo thinks.
But, of course Ranpo can’t leave it at that. No, he still has questions.
“So, uh..” Ranpo starts. “Why exactly are you here?’” Yoru tilts her head in confusion. “I just mean, you seemed to have a pretty good thing going on in Gotham, and from what you said the other day you didn’t quite like living in Japan. If that wasn’t made up as well.” he says, matter of factly with no malice.
“Shouldn’t you know that, Mr Super Detective?” she retorts, just as calm.
Ranpo sighs. “Fukuzawa said it was none of my business.”
She chuckles. “Well he wasn’t wrong.”
“But..” he continues. “He said if I absolutely felt the desperate urge to know, I should just ask you.”
She gives him a look, one which Ranpo has deduced means ‘seriously, come on’ after the many times it's been given to him, most often by his coworkers. “And he thinks I would tell you anything worth knowing?’
“Nope.” he says, popping the P.
She smiles and shakes her head. “Honestly, I'm surprised you aren’t just looking into it behind his back.” she shrugs. “Given what I heard about you, it shouldn't necessarily be hard for you.”
He pauses his steps, making Yoru step back a few. “Let’s just say I knew the time when it’s ‘acceptable’ to push his buttons and when it’s uh.. Generally not preferred.” he admits.
“You’re scared to disobey him, aren’t ‘cha.”
“Yes, very much so.” he says, continuing on. “Are you gonna answer my question or no?” he changes the subject.
“Well..” she ponders, debating her words. “Precaution, I guess.”
“That tells me absolutely nothing.”
She laughs, a real genuine laugh. “That’s kinda the point.”
Ranpo does his best to show a generally displeased face.
She sighs. “A group of very skilled individuals have bounded together to claim something they feel like they are entitled to, and will stop at very little to get it.”
“Sounds very American.” he replies.
“Well you aren’t wrong there.” she agrees. “Several of these members are high players in the west, whether that be in the stock market or on the FBI’s most wanted. We have crossed paths with several of their members, either directly or indirectly and even put some of them away before. They are not to be taken lightly as individuals, who knows what power they have collectively.”
“What does that have to do with us then?” he asks, not quite sure if he means ‘us’ as the ADA or as Japan itself. “Why do we have to deal with your dirty laundry? It sounds like a you guys problem.”
“You act like we aren’t seven people working from the equivilant of a basement.” she sighs.
“A basement funded by a billionare and equiped with state of the art technology.” he retorts.
“With absoulutely no responsability to be doing what we do, by the way.” she shares. “We do this because we care.”
“Yeah and i’m sure the repressed trauma and a hero complex built from guilt or loss have nothing to do with it.” he states, hitting the crosswalk button
she pauses, obviously caught off guard, (finally) “We all have our problems, Kirby-boy.” she said before crossing the street with the herde of other pedestrians
“Wha-” Ranpo stutters. “What does that even mean?!” he whines, struggling to catch up with his new coworker in the sea of people
“Ask the twinkies you swallowed whole!”
“Are you sure you can get there by yourself?”
Ranpo sighs. “It’s a one way train and i’m being picked up at the station. I don’t need you to sit with me like a little kid.”
He can tell she’s biting her tongue when she just responds with a “okay.” then she dives her hand into the bag, pulling out a pen and paper.
“What are you doing?” he asks as she scribbles something down.
“Here.” she says as she hands him the paper.He looks at it to find a string of numbers.
“I’ll probably regret it, but just in case you have more questions I can’t answer.”
“Thanks.” he says curtly, giving a quick goodbye before making his way onto the train.
Ranpo finds himself an open seat and settles down, waiting for the train the train to pass the station and blur all the passerbys waiting for their or saying goodbye to their loved ones. Then, when everyone is settled and their focus is away from the oddly dressed detective, he pulls out the polaroid he kept in his pocket since that night in the office.
He runs his fingers down the browned, crippled edges, processing a memory from moments past.
Yoru’s past, to be exact.
The photo presents two near identical young girls cuddled up together in a bed, sleeping peacefully. One lays protected by the other, arms and legs wrapped around in almost a shielding position, while the other laid more stiff, arms decorated by various wires, but still clearly leaning into her sisters loving embrace. Ranpo coudn’t help but feel a wave of perversion looking at this photo, from the lens of himself, the viewer and from the lens of the photographer, who in neat red handwriting wrote ‘Angels’ above their heads, and their names underneath them ‘Kanako and Kazumi’. Quickly flipping it over and out of his eyesight, he sees that the photo is dated just about fourteen years ago.
As old and as creased as the photo is, Ranpo can’t deny that the little girl, one of the little girls is Yoru. Given the state of ‘Kazumi’ he can only assume that Kanako grew up to be the women he just spoke with minutes before.
Shaking his head and swallowing the lump of bile coming up his throat, his shoves the picture deep into his pocket, fighting his urge to burn it.
Fukuzawa was right.
He really should’ve minded his business.
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If you couldn’t tell, i’m really trying to push my Yosano and Ranpo sibling agenda. They may not be siblings by blood, but sure will clown each other like they are
If you have any questions or comments (I love comments <3 the make me more motivated to write!!!) don't hesitate to let me know!
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