DO NOT BE AFRAID
this is combining Ovid's Heroides and the Excidium Troie because I can't stop thinking of Hermes telling him not to be afraid. what the fuck!! Ares is wearing the crown that Paris gave him.
I have. thoughts. about Paris. he's almost got this Troilos parallel in my mind, that the event that defines him in detail exists in a lost narrative that we don't have (the Cypria), but everyone else knew. the event that defines Troilos is his death (murdered, butchered by Achilles, the violence of which haunts everything after. Achilles, child killer, you can't escape that!), and the event that defines Paris is the Judgement. what's a lost text but a kind of grave!!
idk I don't think that Paris before the Judgement would recognize himself after bc when you become god touched, it rearranges your guts. you become transformed in the worst way possible! how could you recognize yourself! but I also think that all the Parises after the Judgement would recognize each other because that event is so locked into the trauma of war and the scar it leaves on the land, it's like a scar on the narrative too. it exists like this forever, over and over again, so you exist like that forever too. Troy collects grief and despairs.
Troy as trauma: Reflections on intergenerational transmission and the locus of trauma, Andromache Karanika
and Paris is like. a miserable little god/corpse-puppet or something, like a match for the gods to throw onto gasoline.
The Excidium Troie + Ovid's Heroides:
Excidium Troie, trans. Muhammad Syarif Fadhlurrahman
Ovid, Heroides 16 (trans. Harold Isbell)
a collection of things regarding Paris that made me go 😬 but under a cut bc this is getting. very long.
The Divine Twins in Early Greek Poetry, Corolla Torontonensis
Iliad 24 and the Judgement of Paris, C.J. Mackie
Elegy and Epic and the Recognition of Paris: Ovid "Heroides" 16, Elizabeth Forbis Mazurek
Ennian Influence in "Heroides" 16 and 17, Howard Jacobson
Paris/Alexandros in the "Iliad", I. J. F. de Jong
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Well anyways its not "I can fix him" or "I can make him worse"
Its about taking someone who is in a bad place and giving them all the love you wish you had gotten when you were in a bad place yourself. To give someone the opportunity to heal and grow because you understand how painfull it is to go through it alone. Maybe even to heal together..
Because if the big scary killer robot deserves your love then you deserve it too
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What makes me sad about the ao3 ddos attack is that fanfic writers are still gonna be the most underappreciated part of fandom despite how these past couple days prove they're really part of the backbone. Writers are still getting little to no recognition especially if they aren't one of the top kudos fics or have a small following. They'll continue to get thousands of hits but only a handful of kudos and maybe a comment or two. And of those comments, they're going to get some person insulting their work or making them feel pressured.
Maybe when you go to download your fave fics now that ao3 is back, you leave a comment for that author. Just something small, not even that much. And no, being shy or worried about being cringe is not a good excuse. It's once again showing that the writers you missed so desperately are actually worth so little to you
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as time goes on im realizing that describing your gender is tbh kinda similar to the naming of jellicle ca- hey wait no stay with me for a second here okay. im holding your hands and looking directly into your eyes now. listen to me. i have a public facing gender. a more specific and personal gender that i can share with my closest friends and family. and an innermost unique gender that only i can ever truly know. gender is just like a jellicle cats
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