#its so well taken care of though!!! the seasoning is still perfectly intact and no rust at all!!

[not-to-be-gay-but-holy-shit]

I found a (probably??) vintage 6 inch cast iron at goodwill the other day for three bucks and I've been trying to figure out how old it is and now I'm joining a bunch of cast iron related reddit forums and idk I think I'm becoming a Cast Iron Dad (tm)

#yeah i have three kids. my 3 cast iron skillets <3 #oh yeah its a pagoel 3 if you're curious #its a mexican brand tho and i don't speak spanish so i really can't find anything about it :( #its so well taken care of though!!! the seasoning is still perfectly intact and no rust at all!! #cast iron #also i made pasta with leftover chicken in my bigger cast iron for dinner today and it was amazing #butter + garlic. add the leftover chicken. cooked whole grain spaghetti. little pasta water. parmesean. some black pepper #chicken was juicy and not tough at all. the pasta sauce itself was a little bland but really the star was the chicken #went great with green beans too

[keeperoftheboys]

Beautiful and Deadly (John Shelby)

John Shelby X Female Gold Reader 

Warnings: Mentions of Death, attempted rape, murder, season 5 spoilers, cursing. 

A/N: Pretend that that thing in season 4 never happened. Esme Who?

“John Shelby you BASTARD!” Everyone in the Garrison turned to face me, rain-soaked and furious. I pushed through the doors of the bar and marched straight up to him. People moved out of my way quickly, they knew a man standing in my path of rage was a dead man. 

John looked up at me with a smirk 

“Yes darling, how can I help you?” 

“I asked you no- I told you not to buy me anything. So why did I find this when I got home?” I held the perfectly wrapped parcel in my hand. It was a necklace box with a now soaked satin bow. The wrapping still intact.

“Did you look inside?” 

“I don’t want your poisonous gifts.” 

“Open it, love.” 

“Don’t call me love!” I slammed the box on the bar next to him and went to turn away but he carefully caught my waist turning me to face him with a flick of his wrist.

“Sorry, I can’t help but want to spoil you. I want to see you wrapped up in silver and gold and the world’s finest silks. You deserve jewels and castles and fine china.” He drew a circle with his thumb on my hip.

“I’m not some woman whose love can be bought. A toy for you to play with. A woman to bear your children” I tore away from his grip and stormed through the bar. “Get back to your drinking you nosey fucks!” 

A few days later I was sitting at Tommy’s dinner table next to Ada and Finn. As the eldest Gold child, I had taken my father’s place after his death. Burdened with the task of carrying out the Gold and Shelby alliance. My people needed me to keep them safe and with the Blinders on our side, that was all possible. Of course, it hadn’t been my dream to be a gangster or part of a family full of lies and deceit. I wanted to go to school, I wanted to be a journalist. Tommy had asked me to join the family, whether it was out of pity or respect I didn’t know. 

Bonnie and I stuck together like glue, thick as thieves. I have sisters and we get along well but they eventually married or settled into gypsy life in a way that was different than mine. I was close to my father, his little fox. He, Bonnie, and I did everything together. 

John caught my eyes from across the table shooting me a dazzling smile. “Beautiful.” He mouthed. 

“No.” I mouthed back.  

He laughed and averted his gaze to chat with Arthur, leaving me alone for the rest of dinner. After a ride home form Johnny Dogs I decided to take a walk. I enjoyed the still of the evening when the street lamps were on and people were locked in their houses. I walked past the waterfront where the frogs called out in the warm summer air and the smell of coal subsided for a moment giving way to the musty smell of the water. 

It was one of my favorite places, it reminded me of a secret walk John had taken me on after one of Bonnie’s fights when we were both buzzing on Gin and lingering glances. The night where he reached for my hand, his fingers ghosting over mine and I fell for him.

As I walked I noticed the footsteps behind me.

“I suggest you leave me alone,” I said, without stopping or turning to face the man behind me. 

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing walking alone at night?” I ignored him continuing my stroll slowly reaching to make sure the knife hidden in my garter was still there. I knew this path well, if I made it to the tunnel ahead I could run through it and be only a few houses down from my door.

The man’s pace began to pick up, so I too walked faster, nearly making it to the tunnel entrance before he caught up to me.  He was of average size and height, clearly not from here. Most people knew I ran with the blinders, most people knew not to mess with me for fear of retaliation from Isaiah or Charlie or worse —Arthur. 

He pushed me into the brick wall of the building that lined the canal. 

“Let me go,” I said, locking eyes with the man. 

“No, I don’t think I will.” 

To be fair to the idiot he didn’t know who my brother had been, and that I had boxed, wrestled, and trained with him for fun. That my father had taught me how to shoot and kill and strangle a man with a necklace. The man had me trapped between his arms, he left my hands free assuming that I wouldn’t fight back. 

“Let me go.” 

“No.” He laughed in my face, breath stinking of rot and cigarettes.

“Fine.” In one swift movement, I kneed him in the groin, pushed his left arm out of my way, and moved from his trap just in time for his head to smack into the brick wall as he bent forward cupping his manhood with a yelp. 

“Bitch.” he spat, reaching for me. I dogged his hand hitting him with a mean right hook and a kick to the knee cap. He went down and I turned to run only to be caught around the ankle. I hit the ground hard. Skinning my hands and elbows as I braced myself. He pulled me toward him, roughly flipping me on my back and crawling over me with a snarl. He grabbed a fist full of my hair yanking it down. I grimaced in return but no sound left my lips. 

“You’ll pay for that.” 

“Don’t like it when your victims fight back?” I growled, spitting in his face. He released my hair to hit me. His palm was harsh against my cheek. He ripped my dress, buttons scattered across the cobblestones. I squirmed to get away and he dragged me backwards again forcefully gripping my thigh, his fingers digging into my flesh.  As he moved to unbuckle his pants I pulled the knife from my thigh. “This isn’t your first time doing this, I can tell, but it will be your last.” I cut his throat. His blood splashed across my face and chest. He gargled for a moment then went limp. I heaved his body off mine leaving it there beside the canal. 

I made it to my house two minutes later closing and locking the door behind me heading towards my bathroom to clean up. 

“What the fuck happened.” 

I turned to the voice in my living room, lifting my knife towards the intruder only to find John standing there with a terrified look in his eyes. 

“Jesus Christ.” I tossed the knife on the hall table and continued to the bathroom. 

“What happened, are you okay?” 

“I’m great John.”

He caught the door to the bathroom before I could close it. His eyes were ablaze. “Whose blood is that” 

“Some man attacked me near the canals. I left his body there.” I wet a rag and began to wipe the blood from my face. If John was shocked that I had killed a man he didn’t make it obvious, he turned on the bath filling it with warm water and oils.  

“Here, let me.” He took the rag from my hand and gently wiped the blood off my face and chest. We stood in silence for a few minutes as he worked. I gripped the porcelain sink behind me as the pain from my fight began to sink in wincing as he cleaned my palms. “What were you doing out there alone?” 

“Why were you in my house?” 

“You forgot your bag in Johnny’s car, he asked me to give it to you. What were you doing out there?” 

“That’s all you came here for? How did you get in?” 

“I have a key, and I wanted to talk to you.” 

“About what?” 

“Doesn’t matter right now.” He stepped away to turn off the water in the bath testing the temperature with his hand. “Get in. It will help with your muscles. Give me your dress, I’ll take care of it.” I stared at him until he turned covering his eyes even though his back was towards me. I slipped out of my dress and underthings quietly calling his name. He held his hand out and grabbed my dress shutting the door behind him as he left, his eyes never opened. 

After about twenty minutes I emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a robe. I made my way to my bedroom where John had laid out my nightgown. Once I was dressed he appeared in the doorway. 

“Uncle Charlie is taking care of the body. Tommy is finding out who the man was. Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“I think so.” 

“Why didn’t you call? I would have walked with you.” 

“That would have been more dangerous.” I shook my head sitting on my bed. 

“You do know who I am right? Nobody would attack us.” 

“I’m not afraid of others.”

“I would never hurt you.” He took a step back in shock. 

“John, I know that. I...never mind. What did you want to tell me?” 

“I wanted you to open this.” He closed the gap between us, handing me the box that I had scolded him for in the Garrison a few days ago. 

“John.” 

“Please.” 

I sighed, uniting the ribbon, pulling the box from its wrapping and removing the lid. There, in a bed of silk, sat a beautiful silver knife, its handle covered in beautiful filigree. It was a piece of art. The prettiest thing I owned. “John. It’s beautiful.” 

“Beautiful and deadly, like you.” his fingers brushed over my cheek where a bruise was sure to appear tomorrow. 

“Thank you.” I smiled, catching his hand with mine. 

“Of course.” He let go of me and turned to leave when he reached the door, I stopped him. 

“John. Stay with me.” 

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader #john shelby #john shelby x reader #peak blinders spoilers

[oscararcane]

Pranks

I wrote this month ago, but never posted it. Today is as good as any to do so, I suppose. So have this indulgent lil’ Maegar Varn/General fic.

Writing diplomatic letters, reading treasury reports, sitting during long hearings in the throne room of his rustic fort… It had been a long and not-so-enjoyable day for Maegar Varn. But that was baroning for you, in the eloquent words of his Treasurer. Therefore taking a relaxing bath was quite welcome in this automnal evening. Not to mention how relieving it was to soak in hot water after a cold day. The season was getting cooler every day and the cold winds tended to squeeze through the wooden plank of his makeshift castle, making every room uncomfortably chilly.

The baron closed his eyes and sighed with content when he heard a tell-tale jingling. His body tensed up and his eyelids shot open.

- Sahira?

Maegar looked intently towards the screen that separated the bathtub from the rest of his bedroom, looking for a familiar shadow. Nothing. Yet he could have sworn it was the sound of the Tiefling’s jewellery he just recognized. Despite her agility, the General was not entirely discreet. Part of it was by design. She was an adept of the “hiding in plain sight” technique. The other part was, of course, because of the ridiculous amount of necklaces, earrings and bracelets she covered herself with. Most people did not pay too much attention to it, but that light tinkling that accompanied Sahira’s every movements had become a familiar signature to Maegar’s ears. A comforting sound that reminded him a very good friend was here with him.

But lately the persisting noise had become a little unnerving.

The Varnling Host commander stood up and grabbed a towel, tying it around his waist. Stepping out of the bath, he walked around the screen in a couple long strides. His eyes darted around, looking for the Tiefling. She was not here. His eyes lingered on the clear, undisturbed sheets of his bed. His clothes were not here either.

- Oh for the love of…

Maegar pushed out a long exasperated sigh and opened the door of the bedroom, walking out in nothing but the immaculate piece of cloth hanging from his waist. He had reached the middle of the main hall when the heavy double doors cracked open, letting Cephal and the cool evening air slide in. When he saw the preoccupied expression on the wizard’s face, Maegar considered turning around and getting some dirty clothes to put on. Part of him wanted to avoid an argument. The other part was always up for a good fight.

Cephal lifted his eyes from some paperwork and stared at Maegar. Annoyance immediatly made his nostrils flare.

- And why, pray tell, are you naked? - I’m wearing a towel, Maegar answered just to contradict him.

Cephal glared.

- Sahira stole my clothes, the Baron yielded.

An all too familiar anger lit up in the wizard’s eyes. But for once it was not directed at Maegar.

- Another one of her pranks? Cephal snapped. This is getting out of hands! - This is nothing new, she always liked joking around to cheer up the crew.

It was a bit of a lie, Maegar was aware of that. Sahira did always like pulling pranks. It sure did cheer up the Varnling Host many times. But she never did them so often as of late and she used to choose a variety of victims. Now Maegar was systematically the butt of the joke. Something was going on and the Baron could not figure out what. This did not escape his perceptive Regent who narrowed his eyes at him.

- Always eager to defend her, aren’t you?

Maegar felt his face flushing despite the cold. He did not let it rattle his confidence and grinned.

- Aren’t we all?

The baron could have sworn the shadow of a smile stretched the wizard’s thin lips.

- Nevertheless, this is getting disruptive. You need to talk some sense into her, Cephal concluded.

He walked past Maegar, the conversation over as far as he was concerned.

The Varnling Host commander took a sharp breath in and walked out the door into the cold fall evening. Nearly naked.

A shiver ran down Maegar’s spine as he walked to the nearest guard. The young man - a new recruit - stared at him, his eyes wide open in shock.

- You! The Baron called out. Have you seen the general?

The guard did his best to not peer at Maegar’s ludicrous get-up.

- Yes, y-your Grace! She ran towards the tavern I think. There was a bundle of… something in her arms and she was huh… cackling? - Cackling, huh? Thank you, boy.

Maegar patted the young man on the shoulder and started to walk briskly towards the small town. As he was stepping in the freezing water of the river, crossing the shallows to reach the other bank, he considered his stupidity. He should really have put something on. But at this point turning back to the fort felt just as stupid. At least Sahira would get a good laugh out of this.

The Baron made his way through town, his wet bare feet amassing mud, ignoring the confused whispers and stares of his subjects. The key was to keep appearing confident, pretending that walking half naked on the streets was perfectly normal. Maegar was sure he was not convincing anyone, but at least his dignity was mostly intact.

Finally he stopped in front of the tavern. A burst of laughter drew his attention upwards. Sahira was standing on the roof of the building, doubling over in a fit of hilarity. Maegar put his fists on his waist in an authoritarian pose, but could not help but smile.

- You didn’t even put any boots on! The Tiefling managed to say in-between two giggles.

Now a couple snickers could be heard among the crowd, even though they did their best to not look like they were making fun of their Baron.

- I would very much appreciate if you gave my clothes back, General, Maegar declared loudly to cover the sound of Sahira’s laughter.

After a couple more chuckles, the Tiefling regained a bit of control. She looked down at the pile of dark cloth she was holding in her arms.

- Why don’t you, huh… come and get them, your Grace?

Maegar could not see the twinkle in her eyes from where he stood but he could imagine it from her mischevious tone. The Baron did not waste a second protesting and rubbing his hands, looked for the best spot to climb the tavern’s walls. His eyes stopped on a stack of barrels. Taking a running start, he climbed the structure and in a few light jumps, he reached the roof of the tavern. From the corner of his eye, he saw Sahira getting ready to flee and jump on the next building. A pretty risky move, but Maegar knew she could do it. Running as fast as he could with a towel barely holding onto his waist, he caught up to her and grabbed her waist before she could jump. Taken by surprise, Sahira dropped Maegar’s clothes which floated in the wind before reaching the muddy ground.

- Oh no, your clothes, she said, not sounding sorry in the least.

Maegar sighed as he released the giggling Tiefling.

- I guess you’ll have to stay half-naked for a while now, she added turning a cheerful glance towards him.

As the setting sun hit her strange yellow eyes, her slit-shaped pupils narrowed. An uncomfortable vision for most people at first, but one Maegar was used to. He grinned back at her.

- If I’m freezing to death, it’ll be on you. - Don’t worry, your Grace, I’ll make sure it won’t happen, Sahira replied while winking at him.

There it was. The flirting. It did not happen constantly, but it kept coming back. The Tiefling did not flirt exclusively with him and it probably did not mean anything. Just a bit of fun. But each time, Maegar felt something twisting in his gut.

The slight pause before his answer was long enough to be noticed but short enough to seem meaningless. Or so he hoped.

- Then let’s go find a nice fireplace to sit nearby, shall we?

Once again he pretended to be oblivious. He knew the game, he knew how to flirt back and joke around. Sahira probably had seen him do it before, with other women. It was unlikely he was fooling her, but if it affected her, she did not show it.

- And for the love of Shelyn, stop calling me your Grace, Maegar added as they climbed down the tavern’s walls. - Yes, sir! Sahira chuckled.

Under the astonished stares of the tavern’s clientele, the Baron retightened his towel around his waist and took a sit at the table nearest to the fireplace. Meanwhile the general grabbed a chair. Not to sit on it, oh no. It was not her style. Instead she stepped on it, settling herself nonchalantly on the table, one foot resting on the seat of the chair while the other sat upon its back. It was well-known among the Varnling Host as “Sahira’s chair problem”. She always found creative ways to never sit properly on one. Planting her hands behind her, she leaned backwards and looked down at Maegar from her elevated vantage point. The Tiefling smiled warmly.

- Better?

Looking up at her, Maegar grinned back at her.

- A lot. Drinks? - You pay. I’m broke. - You keep saying that, but it’s been almost two years since you bought that potion.

Sahira shrugged, looking away.

- I don’t have a reason to save money anymore, so I spend it as soon as I get it.

Maegar smiled softly.

- No settling down for our dashing bard?

He knew he was treading on a dangerous path, so he took care to do it as gently as possible. Sahira darted her eyes towards him for a second. It was enough for him to see her discomfort.

- We’ve already settled down, remember? I have food, I have this room up there. I don’t need anything else.

The baron looked down at his hands. He was not sure what he expected, really. Sahira was an adventurer at heart. Building a home, taking roots, living an ordinary life was not for her. Still, she stayed when Maegar acquired Varnhold and accepted the charge of General. If the Varnling Host commander kept bringing the subject up, it was because he feared Sahira would just get up and leave someday, bored with all this settling down. Deep down, he had a feeling the recent increase in pranks might be related to this problem.

- Nothing money can buy anyway. - What?

Maegar lifted his head suddenly, surprised. Sahira was looking at him again, a soft smile on her lips, something like melancholy shining in her eyes. The expression faded quickly, replaced by her usual mischevious grin.

- Deep in thought, are we? What has the handsome Baron so distracted?

The flirting again. This time Maegar had to clear his throat to prevent his voice from sounding a bit too hoarse, flushing slightly.

- Sahira, we need to talk.

The Tiefling winced.

- I don’t like the sound of that...

Instinctively, the Baron gently grabbed her wrist, as if afraid she would run away. She just might, he thought. It would not have been the first time.

- Listen… You know I love your pranks. But don’t you think you’ve gone a little overboard lately? Not to mention you could pick a few other targets. Cephal might be in need of one...

Sahira scoffed.

- These need to be fun for me too, you know. And Cephal is anything but fun to prank. What are you complaining about? Without me, you would be buried in paperwork all day and never see the sun.

Maegar sighed. Leaning back, his hand slid from her wrist to rest on the top of her hand. Getting the bard to talk was a challenge. She always prefered roundabout ways of communication.

- I have a lot to worry about, Sahira. Running a barony is not going to be fun every day. If on top of that I have to worry about the next thing you’re going to pull on me… This is getting stressful.

Even from the light touch of her hand he could tell her whole body tensed up.

- Maegar… I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to hurt you. I’ll stop the pranks, I promise.

She started leaning forward. She was ready to bolt. Maegar squeezed her hand to stop her.

- I just want to know what’s going on. Why are you doing this?

Sahira slowly settled back into her initial position, looking straight in front of her. Her mouth kept opening and closing. Maegar tried to help.

- Are you… bored? - Gods no!

Ah. Well so much for that intuition.

- Recruiting and training guards, organizing patrols, new problems every day… The Tiefling continued. I have plenty to do. It’s just that… You’ve been busy too.

Sahira glanced carefully at him. He tried to look as encouraging as possible.

- When I try to find you, you’re either receiving people in the throne room or writing letters or reading reports… I never get to just chat with you anymore. When we travelled with the company, we were always together. We didn’t even need to talk that much because we could see each other all day long. Going from that to having a hard time crossing path… I guess I’ve been missing you. The pranks were a way to get you to interact with me, I suppose.

Maegar slowly blinked at her. It was not what he expected and he felt like a fool. Taking a moment to absorb the information, he started mechanically brushing Sahira’s knuckles with his thumb. Stopping as soon as he realized it, he looked up at her.

- I’m sorry… I didn’t realize. But I should have. We can fix this. What do you say we set up a weekly evening just to hang out? No baroning, just enjoying each other’s company.

The Tiefling smiled down at him.

- I’d like that.

#pathfinder kingmaker #varnhold's lot #maegar varn #writing

[commentaryvorg]

Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 6.8

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time, as trial 6 began to get crazy, the audience reared their ugly heads but with only vague hints of their terribleness so far, Danganronpa might possibly be on its last legs already, Tsumugi and the audience spent way too long babbling about their fandom while ignoring the actual characters and story they’re supposed to be here for, Flashback Lights had to be able to create the personalities and talents of everyone here because that’s just necessary for this story’s premise, and Tsumugi started insisting this means that nobody here is real in any sense at all, which is utter bullshit that would have been immediately and comprehensively shut down by Kaito’s wonderful convictions and belief if only he were still here.

…But since Kaito’s not here, this is starting to work on Shuichi.

“Akane”:  “Isn’t this what you all wanted!?”

Keebo:  “…We wanted this?”

“Leon”:  “Yeah, you wouldn’t remember, but you guys were all from the outside world.”

Yes, they don’t remember, which means that they never wanted this! Just like how the Gonta who was executed for murder never meaningfully wanted to kill anyone, because he didn’t remember wanting it!

Also, all technicalities aside, Keebo definitely never wanted this, since there was never a previous owner of his body at all.

Pregame Shuichi:  “Number 154… My name is ****”

Pregame Shuichi’s name is redacted here, which suggests that he maybe wasn’t even called Shuichi Saihara. Since they’re creating entirely new characters, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to give them new names as well, after all.

…Except that we the players saw in the prologue that at least Kaede and Shuichi had the same names, so apparently not. But even though it’s kind of awkward that they did keep their names, that’s something else we can just put down to the fact that it had to be this way, otherwise the prologue would have been massive spoilers. As it is, the prologue is designed to reasonably make sense once we learn about how they supposedly wiped their memories of their talents when fleeing the Ultimate Hunt, even though that’s not actually what was going on there after all. If Kaede and Shuichi had had completely different names before the reset, it would have given way too many pointers towards the real truth.

Redacting the auditionees’ names in these recordings, then, rather than being a hint that their names were different, was likely just down to the producers having to protect their identities in case they didn’t get chosen.

These recordings could have been faked by Tsumugi in her lab during this chapter’s investigation, sure, because she’s a freaking shapeshifter and the stupid cospox thing should not be taken as evidence against anything. But if she did that, it would have made more sense for her to not redact the name, to further drive home the idea that this is you, Shuichi, and the person you think you are is just a lie. So the fact that the name is redacted supports the video being real.

Pregame Shuichi:  “I promise, if I get selected… I will work as hard as I can!”

No, if you get selected, you will very quickly stop existing. Did nobody tell you that? It… it seems nobody told them that.

Consider that this season is the first time the fourth wall has ever been broken and the process behind creating characters revealed for everyone to see. Without knowing about that, it’s somewhat reasonable that the audience might not realise that characters are created entirely from scratch each time. They might assume instead that the existing auditionees’ personalities are kept mostly intact and just modified to give them talents. So pregame Shuichi here is expecting to still be himself, just with added super detective powers.

It’s also a little odd that the audience doesn’t wonder why the characters they’ve watched in every Danganronpa series never once mentioned that they’re in Danganronpa. Perhaps the general assumption of the audience is that everyone is always somewhat acting because they want to put on a good show, and that the personalities of the characters they see really are lies to some extent?

Of course, random auditionees can’t necessarily be trusted not to break character (especially not when people are dying), and it certainly wouldn’t make a very good killing game if it were full of people super excited to be in a killing game, since that rather defeats the whole point of them fighting to survive and not kill each other. So obviously all the characters very much do need to be written entirely from scratch.

It is admittedly a little odd that these auditionees explicitly haven’t managed to figure this out. However, the people who’d want to audition would be a very specific subset of people who, A, kind of hate their lives and don’t mind throwing them away to be on Danganronpa, and/or B, probably quite like the idea of killing someone creatively in order to get famous. Anyone who’s already a kind, decent and caring sort of person like the characters who’ve actually been in this killing game (well, most of them) would never want to audition in the first place. So maybe that’s why the auditionees don’t question it, because the kind of person who’d audition is inherently the kind of person who misses the point of what really makes an entertaining killing game?

…I am definitely overthinking this, because as we’re going to see in due time, apparently the entire fucking audience misses the point, meaning that these auditionees are actually no more unrealistic than the rest of those morons out there. Think of this as more of a hypothetical: if the audience had been written better, this is how the auditionees could then be somewhat plausible. Though to be fair it would also be easier to just rewrite these bits to have the auditionees be fully aware that they’ll stop existing if they’re chosen, and/or to still hate their own lives but want to become the kind of heroes triumphing in the face of despair or at least dying for the sake of hope that Danganronpa is supposed to be about.

Pregame Shuichi:  “I will come up with the best, most gruesome murders, I promise! Everyone will love it!”

This should not be what everyone is watching for! Creative murders that make for an interesting puzzle in a class trial, sure, but gruesome murders are emphatically not the point of Danganronpa. If all the audience wanted was to see people dying horribly, there would be no reason to even make it a game and have the class trials! Nor would there be any point in the whole hope-versus-despair thing, which we’re sure going to be fervently told is totally the whole point later on.

Pregame Shuichi:  “And an Ultimate Detective hasn’t been the blackened yet, so I’m sure I can do that!”

It’s honestly kind of surprising none of the writers ever thought of that throughout all fifty-three seasons. And that this didn’t make them think “huh, that would be a novel plot twist, why don’t we do that with this guy?”.

Shuichi:  “… Wh-What… was that…?”

It wasn’t you, Shuichi. It was your body and your voice, but that’s all.

Shuichi:  “N-No… it can’t be! I’d never say something like—”

Monokuma:  “You wouldn’t say that now, but this is you before you became who you are now.”

In other words, it wasn’t him! Monokuma is straight-up agreeing with Shuichi that he wouldn’t say that, because the person in the video was a different person than him! So it doesn’t matter one bit what that creep in the video said. It’s not relevant to the person standing here.

I gather that there’s a proportion of the fandom that believes these videos were faked. Since there’s only the vague possibility of that but no explicit proof of it, I imagine that the biggest reason people believe this is simply out of not wanting to believe the videos are real, because they feel it compromises the characters they love if they were “really” these varying flavours of murdery asshole. I totally understand that feeling – god, the entire story would fall apart if Shuichi, Kaede and Kaito weren’t actually who they seemed to be – but… the videos don’t actually create that issue to begin with. Monokuma outright says here that the people they were before the Flashback Lights are not the same people that they are now. The videos don’t have to be faked for Shuichi and his friends’ characters to not be compromised by them – they never were in the first place.

It’s also relevant that Monokuma is the one to clarify this. While he and Tsumugi have kind of been interchangeable exposition machines for a while, Tsumugi is currently very pointedly trying to make Shuichi and his friends fall into despair by hammering home how fake their existences supposedly are. Since she would never say this, because it’s the complete opposite of what she’s trying to achieve, Monokuma has to be the one to point it out.

Tsumugi:  “When we saw your audition tape, we had a flash of inspiration. The weakest Ultimate Detective ever… Wouldn’t it be great to see him grow?”

I’m really not sure why that audition tape gave them this idea in particular. Sure he seemed a bit awkward, but mostly just creepily murder-happy, which isn’t exactly what you want in a hero. Still, however they got the idea… it was a good call. Shuichi’s character arc has been great.

Of course, they also decided it’d be totally necessary to sacrifice a perfectly good pianist and astronaut for the sake of this storyline. Which was also a great story, but much less intentionally on their part.

Pregame Shuichi:  “You mean… we were selected!?”

Pregame Kaito:  “We got picked!? Really!? Alright!”

Pregame Kaede:  “Wh-Whoa, really!? I’m selected for it, too!?”

We get shown this flashback to what apparently happened in the prologue as soon as they heard the words “killing game”. And yes, sure, we the out-universe audience never saw this part back then – but of course we didn’t. It would have been a gigantic spoiler. The game has not been averse to omitting certain things to prevent spoilers, like it also did with Kaede’s crime. We have precedent for the game lying to us, but only by omission. This is a somewhat bigger lie of omission than for Kaede, but it’s still much more reasonable to accept that the game hid a minute or two of conversation that did happen, rather than that it showed us an entire half-hour or so of events that didn’t happen.

Shuichi:  “We really… said that?”

Shuichi’s response here also suggests he may well have just actually watched footage of this – the game used its usual flashback format to show us this, but that’s just because it’d be the easiest way to do that. If they did see footage of that, it cannot be faked. Tsumugi may be a shapeshifter, but she’s only one person.

“Fuyuhiko”:  “The people you used to be are gone. You’re fictional characters now.”

Yes, they’re gone, so it doesn’t matter what kind of people they were! That video you just showed Shuichi means nothing about who he is now!

“Hiro”:  “So you got nowhere to return! All that stuff’s fiction, too!”

Himiko:  “Th-Then… my friends and family… My whole life before coming here…”

This is a legitimate thing for them to be upset about, though. It’s going to be so weird and difficult for them to come to terms with that as they start living normal lives once they’ve escaped: the idea that everything and everyone they expect to exist out there just doesn’t. They’re essentially going to have to treat it like all those people just died, and grieve for them, because they felt real to them until now.

(Himiko’s still not mentioning her master though and I am sad about that.)

“Mahiru”:  “The only place we fictional characters can live is in this fictional world. Only in this world. Only in Danganronpa.”

Maki:  “Only… in this world?”

Not for you, Maki! The outside world is better for you than the fictional world you thought you came from; there’s nobody forcing you to kill anyone out there! At least learning that her backstory is a lie shouldn’t be so bad for Maki, especially because her best friend who might have been the one person she’d be looking forward to seeing again was already dead. The orphanage doesn’t exist either, but her relationship with the rest of the kids there was probably less personal; at least this means there’s no orphanage of kids who will starve if she doesn’t keep killing people.

Tsumugi:  “You’re all fictional characters created to kill each other. It’s what the world wants. That’s why… there’s nowhere to run.”

This is also a legitimate concern. However real they may actually be, all the assholes out there apparently don’t acknowledge that, so they’ll be escaping into a world that isn’t even going to see them as people.

Himiko:  “E-Enough… I don’t want to know anything else! I’ve had enough!”

Tsumugi:  “Ah! That reaction…!”

“Junko”:  “Could it be… you fell into despair?”

Even if she did, Himiko’s still expressing her pain very openly rather than the empty, listless despair it could have been. Tenko would still be proud of her! …Though how you fall into despair is maybe not the best thing to be proud over.

“Makoto”:  “It’s times like these you need to look to your friends for support.”

“Hifumi”:  “However, all your friends are fictional, too.”

Clearly this isn’t enough despair for Tsumugi yet, though, because she’s about to go for where it really hurts. This is, of course, all bullshit, as their friends are exactly as fictional as they are – that is, not meaningfully fictional at all – but since they’re all dead it’s going to be harder to prove her wrong about that.

“Mikan”:  “For example… even Kaito’s illness was given to him as part of his character.”

In other words: you murdered Kaito, you fucking murderer. You gave him the most slow and painful death that any Danganronpa character has ever had to go through. The fact that him having the illness was scripted does not for a second mean that his pain wasn’t very, very real. Is Tsumugi ever going to properly acknowledge this and take responsibility for his suffering and death? Of course not.

I’m kind of sad that neither Maki nor Shuichi ever properly pick up on this and get appropriately angry at her for doing that to him, now that they know that Kaito’s death wasn’t really the unfortunate but natural death it seemed to be. I suppose it’s because they’re being too shaken by the “not real” bullshit right now to be able to properly hold onto the fact that Kaito’s death still really mattered and is still very worth getting worked up about.

Tsumugi:  “I was the one who came up with that plotline and gave him that virus.”

I mean, sure, you came up with the “Kaito dies from a virus” plotline. The entire delightful character arc that Kaito went through as a result of that? I highly, highly fucking doubt you had even the slightest inkling that any of that would happen.

(Also look at her still not properly admitting that she killed him.)

Tsumugi:  “I was also the one who came up with the plotline where you fell for Kaito.”

Nope. I’m calling complete bullshit on this one.

See, I don’t think Kaito was even necessarily meant to make Maki into his sidekick in the first place. Making Shuichi into his sidekick – sure, that was definitely planned as part of Shuichi’s arc that Tsumugi just mentioned. But Maki seems more to me like her intended purpose in the story, in-universely, was to kill someone because of her tragic backstory as an assassin. She could very easily have been the murderer in chapter 2 if she’d seen her own motive video like they were all supposed to. And while Shuichi is very noticeably weak in the normal sense of the word and therefore someone whom it’s easy to imagine Kaito would want to take under his wing, describing Maki’s problems as “weakness” is a lot less natural. It probably didn’t even occur to the in-universe writers that Maki was weak in the way they’d expect Kaito to do something about. Yet Kaito saw her weakness and chose to help her anyway, because he was more real than they were thinking of him as when they scripted out expected interactions between their planned characters.

So the idea that they’d give Maki an artificial crush on Kaito when they never even should have expected them to interact all that much in the first place seems very unlikely.

Then there’s the part where Maki’s crush on Kaito doesn’t feel artificial and arbitrary at all. Tenko’s crush on Himiko? Now that I can buy was something planned from the start, especially since she had it from the start. She mentions in her FTEs with Kaede that she really admires performers and that’s why she likes Himiko so much, but that alone should have made her even more into Kaede, who behaved much more like a performer than Himiko did at first. So apparently Tenko also just had a particular thing for cute little magical girls, which could therefore very believably have been written into her. But there’s never any sense that Maki was written with an inexplicable thing for larger-than-life space doofuses. And as I talked about with much satisfaction when Maki confessed her feelings, the focus was on the friendship she had with Kaito – the friendship that Tsumugi likely didn’t even expect to happen in the first place. Her feelings grew from that friendship over her time with him and did not exist to begin with – she said she “fell for” him, not that she was always in love with him. So no, Maki’s feelings for Kaito were entirely something that happened on their own and were not planned.

Himiko:  “Then, what about Tenko? Was she always defending me because—”

But even for feelings that were almost certainly scripted, that doesn’t really matter on the whole either. Tenko still genuinely cared about Himiko as a result of her crush, regardless of whether that’s what the writers wanted of her. She didn’t know she was following someone’s script. And Kaito supporting Shuichi may have also been scripted, but that doesn’t invalidate how much he cared either, nor make his support of Shuichi any different to his support of Maki just because one was scripted and one probably wasn’t.

“Kazuichi��:  “Because that was her character. It’s the same for me, too.”

(Excuse me, there was plenty more to Kazuichi’s character than just his pathetic crush on Sonia, please and thank you.)

Maki:  “Y-You’re telling us… this is all a lie? Even… my feelings…? Are you saying even *those* were lies!?”

However, this is really getting to Maki, exactly like Tsumugi wants it to. And this isn’t about Maki having put her romantic feelings on a pedestal and being upset because romantic love is totally superior to platonic love. It’s because, like I talked about back when she confessed, these feelings were supposed to finally be something that was her own. Something she’d come to feel entirely by herself, without anyone else, not even Kaito, telling her to or wanting her to, without anyone moulding her to be this way. But because she’s so used to the idea that all she ever is is a puppet for someone else’s whims, she’s much more liable to believe Tsumugi’s claim without questioning it. She doesn’t have enough confidence in her own feelings yet to be able to try and stand up for them like other people (like especially Kaito himself) would. Turns out nothing was her own after all, her feelings and desires really didn’t ever matter, and she’s only ever going to be controlled by people with far more power than her who don’t care about her at all. This is not specifically about romantic love and is really Maki being hit right in the issues that she’d finally been getting somewhere with.

(Though I kind of doubt Tsumugi realises that she’s targeting Maki’s issues so directly with this. She’s probably just saying this because to her this is all about romantic love which is obviously the most importantest bestest kind of love ever and so Maki must be sooo sad to think it’s all fake, right?)

And if Maki’s feelings towards Kaito had never turned romantic? Tsumugi wouldn’t be able to claim this at all. “Oh, hey, the fact that you see this person as your friend and care about them because of everything they’ve done for you? Yeah, those feelings are fake, they don’t mean anything, I made you feel that way, you don’t really care about them and all the things they did for you at all.” Doesn’t work, does it? Because feelings of friendship cannot come out of nowhere like romantic ones sometimes can. Which is why, in an out-universe sense, Maki’s feelings did need to be partly romantic for this to work. And it’s also why Tsumugi can’t take quite the same approach with Shuichi, even though his friendship with Kaito actually was scripted, because Shuichi’s actual platonic feelings there would have naturally arisen thanks to Kaito’s actions and were therefore very obviously not artificially induced.

Tsumugi:  “Well, if you’re going to call fiction a lie… then yes.”

Fiction is technically a lie in the sense that it’s something untrue, but it’s otherwise quite different from lies in that it’s not meant to deceive anyone. Everyone consuming fiction knows that it’s untrue and just enjoys being able to suspend their disbelief and pretend that it’s true for little bit anyway.

That said, Maki’s feelings for Kaito, and her existence as Maki the Ultimate Child Caregiver/Assassin, and everyone else’s existences, are neither a lie nor fiction in the first place.

Tsumugi:  “Everything in this world has a writing credit. All our words and actions…”

No, they don’t! You are not scripting every single word that has been coming out of everyone’s mouths! There were some events that the writers managed to influence, sure, and those can be considered to have a writing credit. But not even remotely all of it. And not most of the best parts, for that matter.

Tsumugi:  “…are just a bunch of lies.”

They’re not lies if the person saying so doesn’t know it’s not true! Gonta was not lying when he said he didn’t kill Miu, nor was he lying when he said he was raised by a race from a decades-old videogame. Nor was anyone lying when they did or said anything that they believed was the truth from those memories they were given.

Tsumugi:  “Even that thing Kaede said that moved Shuichi’s heart…”

Shuichi:  “…What?”

…

Kaede:  “I believe in you, so you should definitely believe in yourself!”

…

Tsumugi:  “That was a lie! Cuz the real Kaede said…”

Pregame Kaede:  “I’m perfect for a killing game. I don’t have any faith in humanity.”

The Kaede who said she believed in Shuichi was not lying and was no less real than the other one. Tsumugi is conveniently avoiding talking about the part where they’re completely different people (something Monokuma has already established) so that she can try and give the impression that our pianist Kaede was obviously completely insincere and knowingly lying and following a script.

Also, remember the very first post of this commentary where I made note of pregame Kaede talking about how rotten the world is? Yeah, that matches this quite well. And the thing is, Tsumugi probably doesn’t even know that pregame Kaede made that comment, and even if she does it’s not like she’d care to make an effort to match it, because Shuichi isn’t going to remember that. That match is something that’s only there for the out-universe audience to pick up on. So if Tsumugi did fake this video, it sure is an oddly specific coincidence that pregame Kaede’s words match so well. As such, it makes a lot more sense to me to assume that this video is real.

Why did pregame Kaede even think that having no faith in humanity made her perfect for this, though??? Does she not realise that obviously the kind of person who makes the killing game interesting is someone who does believe in people and has that belief battered and tested as they watch their friends kill each other? But as frustrating as this is, again, someone who did realise that wouldn’t be the kind of person who’d ever want to audition in the first place.

…And, again, the entire audience are going to turn out to be assholes who completely miss the point, so all complaints about the auditionees’ attitudes should just be lumped in with complaints about that, of which I will be having plenty soon enough. Practically everything wrong with this chapter boils down to how badly-written the audience is.

Tsumugi:  “And who could forget Kaito’s inspiring line?”

…

Kaito:  “Don’t forget! The impossible is possible! All you gotta do is make it so!”

…I can accept that this line of Kaito’s might have been scripted. He said it a few times, like it’s a phrase he just liked to say a lot, even in his backstory (maybe to his former sidekicks), so this was probably written into him. But that does not matter. He had no idea he was following anyone’s script and said it for his own reasons while meaning every word of it.

Uggghhhh look at this absolute asshole here. There is nothing in this world that can ever convince me that this was, in any meaningful way, the same person as our heroic Luminary of the Stars who supported his friends with everything he had and selflessly put himself through untold extra pain because he was convinced that doing otherwise would let everyone down. But I do appreciate the painful jarringness of how completely opposite pregame Kaito was to the Kaito we’ve come to know and love, at least.

And it also matches quite well with the face we saw pregame Kaito making when they arrived in the gym, again back in the very first post of this commentary. That was not a situation in which Tsumugi could have been faking it, and you can’t convince me that that was ever the same person as our Kaito, either.

Pregame Kaito:  “I’m not just gonna be in Danganronpa, I’m gonna kill everybody and win!”

That’s not even how it works! Pretty soon it’s going to be made apparent that everything always ended with hope winning, so a blackened has never managed to kill everybody and win, and if they did, that wouldn’t make a very entertaining story! (Grumble grumble unrealistic asshole audience, please file these complaints with the rest that will be coming later. Such complaints about the auditionees certainly shouldn’t be taken as evidence of the videos being faked, because the rest of the asshole audience that we see very definitely exists.)

It does seem that the in-universe writers might have got the idea for Kaito’s reckless stubbornness and inability to accept the possibility of failure from this person here, who is brazenly refusing to acknowledge the extremely high chance that he’ll just end up dead.

Pregame Kaito:  “Once I’ve got fame and fortune, I don’t gotta worry about what’s impossible.”

But evidently this dude was also just a selfish asshole who didn’t give a fuck about anybody else and was quite happy to slaughter a bunch of people just to get what he wanted. The absolute least Kaito he could possibly be in all the most important ways. It’s an insult to Kaito that this guy shared his name and appearance.

(If Kaito were alive and seeing this video? It’d barely shake him at all. He’d just go, “Well, that’s not me,” in the most straightforward, isn’t-it-obvious tone of voice ever, and that’d be that. His conviction in who he is would be far too strong for this to get to him like it’s getting to the others.)

Tsumugi:  “Every single thing that has happened in this killing game… is a lie!”

Shuichi:  (It’s all… a lie?)

Unfortunately, while Tsumugi is quite obviously lying if you think about it for even a few seconds, Shuichi can’t see that.

Shuichi:  (The reason we’re all here right now is because of them… Because of them… I was able to change. That’s why I was trying to live for them, too… I was trying so hard to stay positive… But… if even that’s a lie…)

It’s no coincidence that Tsumugi chose specifically Kaede and Kaito to do this for, because they were the people Shuichi depended on the most for his strength and confidence. Even though they’re not here any more, he’s still so dependent on the memories of who they were, to the point that upon hearing that they never existed, seeing supposed “proof” of that, he loses the strength to even question it. It just breaks him.

Since Tsumugi actually wrote the gist of Shuichi’s character arc, including the part where he came to rely on both Kaede and Kaito, she might at least have a reasonably good idea of what she’s doing this time. The thought that’d hurt Shuichi the most isn’t the supposed loss of his own feelings, like with Maki, but rather the supposed loss of his friends’ feelings and support towards him.

If Kaito and Kaede were only still here, they’d both be doing everything they could to reassure Shuichi that what Tsumugi’s saying doesn’t matter. Even if their support of him was scripted and planned, it doesn’t change the fact that that feeling of wanting to help him was real to them and not a lie they’d never have done anything else even if they’d known the mastermind wanted them to do this. But… they’re not here any more. So it’s heartbreakingly easy for Shuichi to forget how real and genuine their support felt when it was happening, now that they’ve faded into memories. Especially now that he’s learned that most of his memories were entirely fake to begin with, giving him the sense that he can’t trust anything that he thought he knew and believed was real.

I really love the way the game shows a collage of illustrations of Shuichi being inspired by both Kaede and Kaito, and then just makes them twist and swirl into nothingness, reflecting exactly what’s happening with Shuichi’s perception of them. And all his strength came from them, so if he didn’t ever really have them… he had nothing, right?

(Also Heartless Journey is playing and I am rather giving myself some sads here.)

Shuichi:  “… Why… am I here? Why did I even survive this long?”

Shuichi’s had his exhausted-looking sprite for a while here. It’s especially fitting in this moment, considering where his mind was at when we saw him looking like this last chapter, and the fact that he’s been driven to wondering what was even the point of him surviving. Noooo, Shuichi.

“Hajime”:  “This is fiction. There is no greater meaning.”

Shuichi wasn’t chosen to be the hero and survive until the end like this just by meaningless random chance, though. It was because the story of someone weak like him overcoming his weakness and growing stronger despite all his struggles is a meaningful story that can inspire people.

However, the fact that Tsumugi seems to genuinely believe that there’s nothing meaningful to fiction is going to be her downfall. Really, it was a bad move for her to even reveal to everyone that they are fictional, because that’s going to allow Shuichi to protest against this sick practice and end not just this game but all of them. But Tsumugi probably didn’t even realise what a risk that was, because it apparently doesn’t occur to her that there could be more to them being fictional and that they could even do anything but despair over its meaninglessness.

“Junko”:  “How ‘bout that? You in despair yet? It will be troublesome for us if you don’t despair under our rule.”

Yep, that’s exactly why Tsumugi has been doing all this. If she can get everyone to despair, then Keebo will come swooping in with his hope robot powers and the audience will still get a story they want, despite how very off-script things have gotten. That’s why she’s been telling such blatant lies about how fictional everyone supposedly is.

(Also, her “Junko” has been switching personalities a lot more lately. I guess that’s just to match with the switching personalities in general, or perhaps to be more of a direct callback to the first game than she was earlier now that literally everything else she’s doing is callbacks.)

“Junko”:  “Viewers flock to see your despair. That’s why all those people out there look sooo happy! See!?”

“Shuichi’s reaction LOL”

“LOL the face of despair.”

“Mmm, Shuichi’s despair <3”

“despair taaaimu!”

“You’re all in despair LOL”

“S-tier despair!”

Aaaaaand right about here is where the outside world just completely stops being recognisable human beings in any shape or form. This here is a general grab bag of some of the things that are being said, none of which is remotely like how any actual person should react to seeing a fictional character’s despair.

Yes, I have also been enjoying Shuichi’s despair this whole time. But I’ve been enjoying it in the sense that it’s been making me empathise with him and feel his pain. It makes me desperately want to reach into the screen to encourage him and help him in any way I can even though I know that’s not possible because this is how the story goes. If I was reacting in this completely detached, alien, “hurr durr lol despair” way that doesn’t seem to even remotely care about the characters themselves, that’d be the story failing to do its job properly!

Where was that person from near the beginning who was cheering “You can do it, Shuichi!”? They should still be cheering him on, trying to tell him that his friends weren’t all lies and neither is he and he can still do this if he doesn’t give up! The whole point of despair in these Danganronpa narratives is supposed to be so that people can root for hope to overcome it!

…It’s worthwhile to mention that there’s a good chance these comments are deliberately cherry-picked to be the ones most gleeful over the despair, since the hope fans are soon going to start showing up in droves, but even so, geez, these people. Have some fucking empathy.

(Though next time we will also see that the rest of the audience who are rooting for hope aren’t really doing so in a way that involves empathising with and caring about Shuichi’s pain either, so, eh.)

Shuichi:  “Is this what the outside world wants? Is this what they want from us?”

It makes sense that this would be what they want from a character they’re insisting on seeing as fictional, but it does not make sense that they would want it for this purpose! Almost nobody should ever want it like this!

Monokuma:  “Well, yelling for help is useless for fictional characters anyway. It makes the viewers even more depraved and obsessed when they feel sorry for you.”

Yes! Feeling sorry for them, that’s the point! This is the closest anything in this narrative ever gets to talking about the actual reason why watching fictional characters suffer is enjoyable – because it makes you care about them more, it makes you want to engage with the story more in your in-universe desire to see them overcome it and feel better, it makes the story have more of an effect on you! “Depraved” is a really uncharitable word for this – although maybe that’s more specifically for this context where they’re actually watching this happen to real people, in which case, yes it very much is.

Monokuma:  “They watch, knowing that they shouldn’t, just to revel in the depravity of it all.”

The “knowing that they shouldn’t” part is after all something that only applies to watching real people die. Nobody in the actual real world should feel guilty for enjoying Danganronpa games because characters die in them – that’s the point. Nor should anyone feel guilty for enjoying any fiction where bad things happen, because that’s one of the main ways to create conflict, which is one of the driving forces of a story. If the narrative presents the bad things in a way that implies they’re okay to do in the real world, that’s another matter – but bad things happening in and of themselves do not make a fiction wrong to enjoy.

Shuichi:  “It’s all a lie… isn’t it? Me… Everyone here… Everyone who died…”

Their deaths were not lies, Shuichi!

Shuichi:  “I can’t fight… for a lie, can I?”

You thought it was worth fighting for before you knew it was a “lie”! Why should the fact that she’s calling it that change anything? You know the killing game still happened!

Around this point, Clair de Lune – Kaede’s piano song – kicks in as BGM. It’s pretty lovely and appropriate and heartbreaking.

Tsumugi:  “No matter how much you grow, Shuichi, you’re still weak after all… Now that you know it’s all lies, you’ve gone back to the weak Ultimate Detective…”

She’s not wrong here. Now that the friends he depended on so much for his strength aren’t here any more, now that she’s convinced him that they never really existed at all… he still has the potential to be as weak as he always was without them, just like he always had the potential to be strong if he did have their support.

This concept might be why this is working so much on Shuichi, Maki and Himiko in particular. All three of them started off weak, and only grew stronger thanks to the events of this killing game and the support their friends gave them. Upon hearing that all of that was supposedly fake, it wouldn’t be hard to see how that’d bring them right back to where they started.

That’s also why none of this would work nearly so well on Kaito if he were still here – because he started off strong, and still had a good amount of that strength by the end even if the killing game had weakened him in a lot of ways, such that it wouldn’t go away just because he’s being told it’s a lie.

(And all of my yelling at Shuichi isn’t trying to imply that he’s being stupid to not realise all this – I know that he’s still weak enough in some regards that he’d let this break him apart. I just wish I could help him, like an actual person would.)

Himiko:  “…”

Himiko’s no longer expressing her despair in a loud, emotional way and is just being depressed and listless like she used to be. Hearing that Tenko’s concern for her was all planned and scripted probably pushed her back into that.

Tsumugi:  “Well, that was surprisingly disappointing… But I guess it’s okay! We’re still on script!”

Not even being subtle. This was entirely a ploy to keep things vaguely on the generic Danganronpa hope-versus-despair script so that Keebo could do his thing.

Shuichi:  “Everything’s a lie… Everything’s meaningless… Everything we’ve done, everything we’ve faced together…”

You still faced that together! Kaede and Kaito still died for you! That’s not meaningless, no matter what else around it might have been a lie!

The shutting-down sound effects used when a protagonist stops being the protagonist are really quite appropriate here. It very much feels like Shuichi.exe has encountered a problem and needs to reboot, and it’s going to take him a while to do that.

---

[Next post]

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #ndrv3 #chapter 6 #class trial #commentary

[thehangeddemon]

New Year, New Beginning || Maximus & Xavier

Maximus: Maximus hadn't expected his master to linger past the usual time, regardless of being New Year’s Eve. Expectation was of a quiet evening, reading a new book, working on his scrimshaw with silence as his company.

For the sake of the non-holiday, champagne had been dropped in ice on the neighboring table in the dining room. Something for his master to enjoy with lemon meringue angel cake. A light and less extravagant ending to 1956.

"Is there something specific you would like for me to lay out for tomorrow, m'lord?"

Xavier: Xavier had briefly considered going to the New Year's gala at the Plaza in New York and engaging in his yearly bout of festive debauchery but at some point he had changed his mind. Staying home and enjoying the quiet and Maximus' presence seemed infinitely more appealing.

He sat back and considered with a hum. "I am going to be completely predictable and request Yorkshire pudding."

Maximus: His servant would be caught smiling, quickly turning his attention elsewhere to save himself.

Xavier: Maximus didn't save himself quite quickly enough. Xavier definitely caught a glimpse of that smile.

"I would also like to request a roast to go with it. A hearty meal to start the year."

Maximus: "Yes, m'lord." He did his best to swallow the smile. Going so far as to slide his gloved finger over his lips.

Xavier: “And in case I haven’t said it, you’ve outdone yourself with this cake. I never liked meringue when I was younger but you’ve converted me.”

Maximus: "Thank you, m'lord." He paused, composed himself. "About tomorrow, what...clothes would you like for me to lay out?"

Xavier: "I leave that to your discretion. I have nothing planned for tomorrow except consulting guidebooks. I'd rather like us to spend part of the winter abroad."

Maximus: "Abroad... m'lord?" He'd caught himself somewhere between "sir" and "master".

Xavier: He nodded. “Indeed. Italy perhaps, or Greece. Someplace warm and scenic.”

Maximus: "I've...never been to Greece." As though his master would care. But he would, wouldn't he?

Xavier: Of course he would. He was Xavier.

“Well then that settles it. We shall be going to Greece. Santorini perhaps.”

Maximus: "Are... you chasing warm weather?" It wasn't that he had caught himself. He had actively wanted to say 'we'.

Xavier: “We are indeed.” Xavier’s ‘we’ was second nature at this point. Whatever he did and wherever he went, it would be with Maximus. “Winter gets extremely tiresome after January.”

Maximus: It's my favorite season.

"Change of scenery, but will it not be just as cold?"

Xavier: “Greek winters are very mild along the coast, as are Italian ones. Perhaps we could visit both.”

Maximus: In the meantime, he would top off his champagne.

"May I ask you something personal, m'lord?"

Xavier: “Always.”

Maximus: An answer which was given a brief, appreciative smile. "What were you... expecting, in a servant?"

Xavier: Xavier sipped his champagne and contemplated Maximus' question.

"To be frank, I didn't give it much thought. I wanted someone who was capable and efficient. Those two things were paramount. Plenty of demons are perfectly useless and that is not who I need in my life or in my home."

He smiled. "I not only ended up with someone very capable and wonderfully efficient, you're also a magnificent cook and have impeccable taste."

Maximus: "I'm honored, m'lord. Thank you." The polite and proper response. He felt the neck of the champagne bottle. "Am I... satisfactory? In all things?"

Xavier: His smile softened. "You're beyond satisfactory, in all things. I couldn't imagine sharing my home with anyone else."

Maximus: Careful, Xavier. You'll make your servant blush. "May I ask... more questions?"

Xavier: "As many as you like, my dear."

Maximus: Oh. His eyes briefly closed. "Forgive me. I don't believe I have the ... articulative skills for my next question. Do you... intend to find... a companion?"

Xavier: "A romantic companion, you mean?"

Maximus: "Yes, m'lord. That's what I mean."

Xavier: "I haven't had what could be considered a proper romantic companion since I was human. I've had my...dalliances of course, but I've never been after anything serious." Until now. Until you.

Xavier made sure he was looking Maximus in the eye when he said, softly and deliberately, "I have all I need."

Maximus: He would rather not imagine how a demon would manage romance. Not any but Xavier. A gentleman with his humanity supposedly intact.

And the way he stared, confident and deliberate, sent a wave of heat throughout his body and back into his stomach. Maximus moistened his lips and broke their gaze.

"Do you, m'lord? There will be... dalliances in Greece?"

Xavier: "Yes, I do, Maximus." Another sip of champagne. "There will be stunning vistas and food and perhaps some shopping for magical artifacts." No dalliances unless they were with a certain demonic butler.

Maximus: Perhaps best to move the subject forward. Not to think too much. This had been an indulgence, leafing through his master's intentions to prepare himself for having to share his time and affection.

I have all I need, he'd said.

Stop it.

"Are you hunting for a specific artifact?"

Xavier: "Not particularly. If memory serves there are several very intriguing markets in Greece that have yielded interesting things in the past for me. There's old, old magic in Greece."

Maximus: "And the people there? Anything like the book, or its owner?"

Xavier: "Oh, you'll love the Greeks. They're frightfully vivacious. And loud," he added with a chuckle.

Maximus: "I don't need more Aellos in my life, m'lord," he smiled.

Xavier: Xavier chuckled. "Hear bloody hear. There will be none of that, and if there is, we'll get something creative at the market to deal with it."

Maximus: "More salt and another barrel." Comfortable enough to joke, however mild, however brief.

Xavier: Mild and brief, perhaps, but significant coming from Maximus.

"We can perform miracles with those two things," Xavier said with a grin. "Let us sincerely hope we won't have to."

Maximus: "If you don't mind my saying, you deserve happiness, m'lord. I don't... know every detail as to what made you, but I don't believe I'm wrong."

Xavier: If you only knew, Xavier thought. No one who knew anything about who he had been as a human would ever think he deserved any sort of happiness.

"Well, one way or another, I'm getting it. I committed my sins, I was punished for them, and here we are in this well-appointed mansion."

Maximus: Maximus would listen, should he feel inclined to confess. Those gray eyes were inviting Xavier to lay every secret in his confidence.

"And shall your good fortune continue, m'lord."

Xavier: In due course, perhaps he would. He had a feeling Maximus would truly listen without judgment. What a novel thing that seemed.

"Let us hope and toast to it so it might be so. Pour yourself some champagne, it's a holiday."

Maximus: Months of his master's consistency taught him not to protest. An extra glass had been left out in case. No more hesitation or insistence that he shouldn't.

Expertly poured. Very little remained in the bottle.

"Was the Plaza doing anything tonight, m'lord?" Still willingly encouraging his debauchery and pairing elsewhere.

Xavier: The glass was noted with a smile. Progress.

“They are, yes. They host a New Year’s Eve gala every year. Food, music, free flowing champagne. It’s quite the scene.”

Maximus: "There's still time."

Xavier: “Next year perhaps. The thought of being lost in a sea of drunken humans, while amusing, is exhausting.”

Maximus: "Surely, a witch or vampire would be amongst them."

Xavier: "I'm sure there are. A night like tonight seems like the ideal hunting time for vampires."

Maximus: "Have you met one, m'lord?"

Xavier: "A vampire? Yes," he said with a nod. "I try to steer clear of them but I have met a couple. It was...interesting."

Maximus: Maximus simply nodded. So long as his master did not ask, his lips were sealed.

"To the new year, then."

Xavier: Xavier smiled and toasted his butler. "To the new year. May it bring wealth beyond all reason and no Russian demons."

Maximus: "To a lack of Russian demons." A breathy laugh to follow before taking a polite sip.

Xavier: Truly the best and most heartfelt toast ever conceived. Russian demons were officially the bane of his existence, and he rather suspected Maximus felt the same.

"I believe I will have more cake, and I invite you to join me for it in the library."

Maximus: This winter, Maximus would be facing his own bane, thanks be to his master's inclination for a milder climate and olives.

"Very good, m'lord." A tray would be made, then. Another bottle of champagne, rather than coffee, tea, or brandy.

Xavier: Maximus would be greeted to Ella Fitzgerald playing on the record player and a roaring fire in the fireplace when he entered the library. How far this room had come since Xavier had taken up residence. Thank Hell.

“I was thinking we should take our trip around the middle of February. Thoughts?”

Maximus: Maximus paused in the threshold of the library, enjoying the view of man rather than inanimate objects.

The tray was placed on the usual table by the chair.

"As I have never been, I cannot say. I will go where you permit me."

Xavier: “You’ll have free rein, provided you promise to stay away from apparitions of beautiful women in places they shouldn’t be. They’re spirit creatures and they will try to eat you whole.”

Maximus: "I forget, m'lord, am I older than you?" He dared another tease.

Xavier: Xavier laughed. “You are, but a little warning is never amiss. They can make themselves look terribly real.”

Maximus: "You think I would be easily swayed, m'lord?"

Xavier: "No, I just think spirits can be terribly effective. I say this to you as someone who nearly got eaten and had been warned beforehand."

Maximus: "By a woman?"

Xavier: "A woman and two--three men. I think. Memories of that week are very hazy."

Maximus: Well, he was back to being confused. Best not to attempt at understanding. For his own sanity.

"I see."

Xavier: "Apparently there are some that take whatever form their victim will be most attracted to, but I've never taken the time to find out. For my own safety," he added with a chuckle.

Maximus: And that image was a woman. His shoulders lost an inch of rigidity. "Will that be all, m'lord?"

Xavier: "As much as I'm sure you'd like to get on and enjoy the holiday your own way, indulge me and share some more champagne and cake with me."

Maximus: If his master wanted company, then so be it.

"Would you like for me to remove my gloves?"

Xavier: "I would, but only if you wish to."

Maximus: Then he would do so, slowly, left then right, placed on the tray next to the ice bucket. The act itself was intimate without meaning to be. Forever in love with hands, treated sacredly, even his own.

"Another?" From a clean flute.

Xavier: Xavier watched every movement as intently as if Maximus had removed his shirt. No one, not the creatures that had tried to kill him or anyone at the Plaza, could capture his attention like this man.

He nodded, entranced. "Yes, please."

Maximus: Maximus had noticed that gaze, and wondered what was behind it. He just wasn't sure, and never had been. His signals were crossed again and again.

"Was there something... specific you wanted from me, m'lord?"

Xavier: So many things, his eyes said.

"Just you," he said softly, casually. Meaningfully. "And your company."

Maximus: "M'lord," there was warning in his tone that he didn't intend. His servant cleared his throat.

Xavier: Xavier just smiled gently. "Sit and listen to Ella with me. Drink champagne and have cake. We've seen yet another year on this mortal coil. That deserves to be celebrated."

Maximus: Then he would do as commanded, cutting the cake into four and taking a seat by the fire. His spine was still a bit stiff, but that was to be expected.

Xavier: It certainly was. As much as Xavier wanted to make his intentions clear, he didn't want to push Maximus too much too soon or make him uncomfortable. He'd no doubt had enough of that from the other masters he'd served and Xavier didn't want to be that. He didn't want to be them.

Xavier took a bite of cake and leaned back in his chair with a sigh of contentment.

Maximus: Xavier - Master Atlas, had wanted company, and yet knowing so could not loosen Maximus' tongue. Not the way it seemed his master wanted. He wished for more forward communication, rather than this palpable air between them he could not shake.

"Are you finished?" He gestured towards the empty plate.

Xavier: As Xavier sipped champagne and listened to Ella's voice echo in the library, he contemplated how to proceed. If he was too forward, he ran the risk of scaring Maximus away. If he wasn't forward enough, they would forever remain in this limbo of tension and unspoken feelings.

Feelings he was almost certain were mutual.

He nodded at his butler's question. "Yes, thank you." A beat of silence. Two. "Maximus, can I ask you something? I won't look at you while you answer if that would make you feel more comfortable."

Maximus: Maximus was in the middle of preparing their used dishware for the tray when his master said his name, causing him to freeze.

His hands returned to his lap.

That consideration which left him so utterly confused and -

"I am yours to ask anything."

Xavier: “Very well,” Xavier said with a nod. Now to be as delicate as possible while also being direct.

“Am I right to assume that you sense...something between us?”

Maximus: Oh. A question to straighten his spine.

Aello had given much away in regard to his feelings. It was childish, as all of his thoughts regarding his master were. Spun by some romanticized notion of love shattering servitude. He could beg a wraith long since ascended to remove his feelings, but there they were, on an open palm ready to be crushed by a younger demon. Made obvious by the tension in his muscles, and the wince in his expression, gone as quickly as it had appeared.

"Whatever it is you want of your servant, m'lord, you shall have."

Xavier: “That wasn’t an answer, Maximus.” Xavier’s voice was gentle and patient without being condescending. He knew the state and mindset of the world they lived in. Knew that in any other circumstance, asking that question would invite peril and shame and fear.

But they no longer lived inside the confines of human law and morality. They were demons, but in being so they were free.

“I ask because I sense something between us. Something that appeals to me.”

Maximus: This was what he had wanted to hear, and yet everything in his soul, fractured like filigree, reminded him that every daydream was just that, fantasy.

Maximus swallowed hard. "Appeals?"

Xavier: He nodded. "Yes. My feelings for you aren't merely those of lord to butler or even friend to friend. They go beyond, into a desire for what you called romantic companionship. Please forgive me if I'm being too forward."

Maximus: There was much to unravel there, which left Maximus embarrassingly silent. Demonic, but warmth still reached his cheeks, his body as responsive as it had been in the 19th century.

But he could not manage to speak.

Xavier: "The promise I made to you when we met still holds true. I won't pressure you or hurt you. You will not be forced into anything, you will not be punished if you say no. And you can say no. If you're uncomfortable with any of this, even this conversation, I want you to say no." He was a thief and a liar and a murderer, but not a rapist. Not in this life or his human life.

"Please, feel free to tell me to be quiet or change the subject or never broach it again. But if you feel what I think you do, know that it isn't unrequited."

Maximus: Maximus stared into the fire, willing himself to sort his thoughts and Xavier's proposal. It seemed unfinished. Pieces missing which were key, but perhaps due to his age he had not considered. Perhaps they were non-negotiable.

"You don't...know what you offer, m'lord."

Xavier: "I was very fortunate I was hanged for murder and not sent to prison or worse for loving men, but perhaps that's not what you mean?"

Maximus: Thick black lashes pressed to his cheeks. "Am I still to serve you, sir, after you've finished with me?"

Dirty plates and silverware were gathered before standing. He was not running away. Simply busying himself.

"Indulging in our whims, you could disown me. Doing so, I will be forced elsewhere."

Xavier: "You aren't disposable to me, Maximus. If I wanted something disposable with someone who didn't matter to me beyond a few hours or even a day or two, I would be at the plaza. I don't want to be at the Plaza. I want to be here with you, regardless of what we do or don't do. If we don't do anything, that's fine." He took a deep breath. "I know you have more reason than most to fear the aftermath of a refusal. I know it will take more than words to assuage that fear and I'm ready to give you whatever you might need."

Maximus: "You didn't answer my question," given in the same manner as he'd received minutes ago.

Xavier: "This is my home and you're part of my home. Yes, I would like you to stay but I will not force you to stay if being here isn't what you want."

Maximus: His eyes closed again. "I see what you're doing."

Xavier: "What is that?"

Maximus: You won't admit it, will you? He turned back towards his master. Back to...Xavier.

Xavier: Maximus could have asked him absolutely anything in that moment and Xavier would have answered, and everything about his expression and his body language said so.

"Tell me what's on your mind," he said softly.

Maximus: Either this was real, or Xavier Atlas was more clever than the last demon with honeyed words and a promise. Knowing all of this, he still had nothing to do with that information.

"What did I do...?" Knowing the whys and whats would do nothing, either.

Xavier: This was very real. Only time would tell if Maximus would believe that. "What did you do to attract me?"

Maximus: Only the slightest nod in response.

Xavier: "You're a handsome man, Maximus. You're intelligent, enjoyable company. I like your sense of humor, subtle as it is. I feel comfortable around you and I don't feel truly comfortable around many."

Maximus: He felt his pulse behind his teeth and in his ears, a sound threatening to drown his master's voice.

"You want to....love me?"

Xavier: "Yes, if you'll let me."

Maximus: "Someone else...said that...years ago."

Xavier: "Was it a positive experience for you?" Xavier asked quietly. He had to fight not to whisper. This all felt so delicate.

Maximus: His eyes fell to his naked hands. "He... asked to love me. Begged me, more like. He was -" beautiful. "I asked him the same questions. He said all the right things...to set me free. I don't think he was aware of what he had done. The last I saw of him, was with a knife and bowl in his hands."

He dared look up to study the man still in his chair.

Xavier: Xavier took another deep breath. Not an experience from Maximus' human life then. He'd almost hoped it had been, because then there was at least some hope that it had been nice for him.

"You wanted to see if I would do the same."

Maximus: His master would only know enough to make grander assumptions. There was far more history than he cared to list. Words he cared not hear or associate with himself. Reasons which had forced him into this position. Upon entry through the black gates, the word which was sung in chorus in his honor. Coward.

"You could say and mean every word, and it would not change the outcome," Maximus said politely.

There was a pause, and if Xavier were to look, he would find his servant's back to him, trying to make his champagne flute sing.

Xavier: He was looking. He hadn't stopped looking since Maximus had stepped into the room.

"What do you think the outcome would be?"

Maximus: "I've said before, m'lord." That I wish you would just get it over with. That you, with your humanity, would hurt more than any other.

Xavier: "You think I'm going to hurt you." And that even if he meant it, nothing he could say would change that.

Maximus: "You already do."

Xavier: Xavier’s brow immediately furrowed in concern. “I’ve hurt you?”

Maximus: "Yes, m'lord."

Xavier: “What have I done that hurt you?”

Maximus: He could not look at him. Xavier would only be given his back. And silence, for as long as he was able.

He shook his head.

Xavier: Xavier waited a moment or two before sighing internally. He had tried to be so gentle and so careful and it hadn’t been enough. He’d still hurt Maximus, just like all the other demons he’d known.

“I apologize,” he said softly. “Whatever it was I did, I apologize for hurting you.”

Maximus: "You're doing it again," he whispered. A barrier needed to be made. Gloves were returned to his hands.

"M'lord, please..."

Xavier: Apologizing hurt him...his humanity hurt him. It wasn’t one thing he’d done, it was everything he’d done.

Now it was Xavier who fell silent.

Maximus: He would excuse himself, if able, to the kitchen with the tray. A moment to collect himself and his wits. Hands clenched to the edge of the counter.

This was what Maximus wanted. He wanted this man's affection, wanted to believe the denial of Aello was pure. But Mays, Shore, and every demon with the exception of Crawford took and took and made no apology, ignored consent, craved power and a warm body.

It would be minutes before Maximus forced himself to return.

"In three months," he began, standing at the threshold, "you've not punished me once. Not even now, for fleeing. Not for getting trapped in the attic. Not for catching the attention of fae. Not to sell me when opportunity arose. You've not... You've not touched me but once. You're-" His voice was steady, but not without argument. It wanted so much to tremble.

"You're too kind. Too patient. I've been unprofessional and you allow it. I wish your cruelty was familiar."

Xavier: The record had long since stopped. Xavier sat staring into the fire, with only its crackling and the ticking of the clock for company. He'd forgotten it was a holiday, that a new year was upon them and that it was a night for celebration. It didn't really feel like either.

It felt...vaguely familiar. He felt like he'd been here before, just in different circumstances. Sitting and staring into the distance while he wondered what he did wrong was something he'd done before, but other times he'd felt hopeful that eventually he'd come to an answer and either decide not to care or deal with it in some way.

This time was different. Everything he'd done was wrong. Everything he was, was wrong. He'd treated Maximus like an equal and that had hurt him. He'd been gentle and respectful and had hurt him. He'd apologized for hurting him and that had hurt him. So what was he to do?

He looked over as Maximus returned and felt a wave of hopelessness wash over him as his butler spoke.

He'd been kind and he'd been patient and in being both, had hurt Maximus. His lack of cruelty was seen and felt as cruelty. And he couldn't even apologize for it because--

Xavier sighed and slumped forward in his chair. What could he do? What hope could there be of anything after hearing that?

"I went to Hell, and this is what I am," he said softly. So softly it was almost a whisper. "I've never intended to be cruel to you."

Maximus: "But you will, m'lord. I don't want you to, and I do. I want to - I want to love you. I've never felt such confliction as I have to you. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop so I can just know something."

Xavier: He wanted to love him. But he didn’t. Or at least he couldn’t let himself for fear of what might happen.

Xavier couldn’t tell which felt worse.

“What if both shoes have already dropped? I’m laying myself bare to you. Anything you ask, I’ll answer, but I don’t think you’ll believe me. All I can do is offer to let you see inside my head.”

Maximus: "You can't," he said too quickly. He couldn't explain why, but they could not breech that subject.

"But you know...there will always be master and servant between us."

Xavier: Xavier raised his hands briefly in a placating gesture. Message received.

“There will be, yes, but not in this. Master and servant might be what brought us together and how this bind was forged, but it won’t be what defines anything personal and romantic.”

Maximus: "Are you still 'his lordship'?"

Xavier: "I think we've moved beyond that."

Maximus: There was clear hesitation in his eyes. He swallowed again. No amount of breath could catch his lungs, regardless of how steady his chest rose and fell.

"...Xavier." A name gently spoken, testing the waters.

Xavier: The effort was rewarded with a small, genuinely happy smile from Xavier.

"How did that feel?" he murmured.

Maximus: "Not as...terrifying as Aello's spell."

Xavier: "That's a comfort. Is it still a bit terrifying?"

Maximus: Maximus squeezed his gloved hands. "Should it always be." He closed his eyes. "Xavier."

Xavier: "Perhaps with time it'll come more naturally." He sincerely hoped it did. Hearing his name from Maximus' lips felt wonderfully intimate.

Maximus: "How...would you like to move forward from here, m' -" A slow exhale.

Xavier: "Let's play it by ear. This is new territory for us both, including calling me by my name."

Maximus: I've wanted to for weeks. Aello's spell did not lie. I want you. I want you. I don't need you, but perhaps I do. Please, don't be a lie.

"That it is..." Another breath. "Tell me something you want. Make a demand of me, please."

Xavier: “I want you to sit, have more champagne, and tell me which record to play next.”

Maximus: And by being commanded, he would have to obey. There was a freedom in having to do as he was told. Something much older than his species, going back to Baton Rouge and nights under servitude with the best man he'd ever known.

And so, he sat.

"Louis Armstrong?"

Xavier: "Louis it is." Xavier stood to change the record and moments later, the opening notes of La Vie en Rose filled the library.

Maximus: "And now?" he gently asked.

Xavier: “Now we sit and drink and wait.” And digest everything that had been said in the past hour.

Maximus: "We wait," he echoed. Another swallow. So many tonight. So many questions. The knot of confusion, the contradictions of desire. What would tomorrow bring?

Xavier: Xavier nodded and sipped champagne. Sitting and waiting was what he did when things like this transpired. Things that required thought and a course of action.

And if that was the way he felt, he couldn’t begin to imagine how Maximus felt. This evening had been...revelatory.

“We’re not far from the new year now.”

Maximus: "I chilled another bottle. Four, actually, in case you desired company," not my own.

Xavier: "And here we are," said Xavier, smiling. "We're going to finish them all. Are they in the kitchen?"

Maximus: "The last two, yes." And he managed to withhold Lordship.

Xavier: "Excellent." He divided whatever remained of their current bottle between them and set the bottle aside. Not into the ice bucket, however.

A fresh bottle would soon be taking its place, summoned from downstairs.

Maximus: "I can't do that." Maximus managed to smile. "Your correspondence magic is impressive, m'lord." Now that one he hadn't noticed.

Xavier: Xavier chuckled as he opened the new bottle. "It's taken a great deal of practice. One day, I want to be able to summon something from the other side of the world."

Maximus: "I don't see you practice. Perhaps we could make a game of it."

Xavier: He held up a finger and went to his desk, where he unearthed a box from the bottom left drawer.

It was full of rocks, short sticks, leaves, and small dusty trinkets from the attic.

He handed it to Maximus. "I briefly considered summoning cutlery and dishes from the kitchen but thought better of it."

Maximus: His demon looked from the box to his master with a wrinkled brow. He would need an explanation for these things, as he'd never seen these trinkets before to associate them with the attic.

Still, he said, "Thank you for not breaking my dishes."

Xavier: "It would be a shame to damage them. Instead I've been practicing summoning things from the woods and the attic. I found a box with some ashtrays and things forgotten about in the corner so I've also been practicing summoning those."

Maximus: "Are you able to summon living things?"

Xavier: "I can draw small things closer but I can't quite summon them yet."

Maximus: "Draw them?"

Xavier: "If say a butterfly were flying away from me, I can halt its progress and bring it closer to me."

Maximus: "So, you're...utilizing your telekinetic power with correspondence."

Xavier: Xavier nodded. "Indeed. I enjoy testing and expanding my abilities. It makes thievery in particular a very entertaining pastime."

Maximus: "I could teach you my multiplicity spell. How is your Italian?"

Xavier: "Fair to middling. I dare say it might even be passable."

Maximus: "I think you've told me this before. We shall see, if you'd like to learn."

Xavier: "I'd love to. It would certainly endear me even more to Massimo."

Maximus: "Indeed." And to me.

Xavier: “Did you enjoy Italy? Would you like to go back?”

Maximus: "I have an obligation for bias towards Italy. I would love to go back."

Xavier: “We’ll make it a priority. Is there any specific city you’ve always wanted to see?”

Maximus: This was asking a lot from a single night, relevant in Maximus' eyes. He would need to be reminded that his skin was not riding on every answer.

"I would like to see Grosseto, someday."

Xavier: Xavier kept his tone as light as possible. He didn’t want Maximus to feel interrogated. “Is that where your family is from?”

Maximus: "It... My mother, yes." And in answering, Xavier knew more than anyone alive.

Xavier: He nodded and sipped his champagne, letting Maximus have a reprieve from the questions. “If my knowledge of the country doesn’t fail me, I believe that’s in....Tuscany.”

Maximus: "What..." Maximus cleared his throat. "What were... you? Before. Is that - Are you as you were?"

Xavier: "Am I as I was when I was human?" Xavier shook his head. "No. This is a different body, different face. I'm not sharing it with its original occupant, of course, he's long since perished. It's only me in here."

Maximus: "That's...kind of you. I don't know what that must feel like."

Xavier: "Only in the sense that he's not trapped in a mental prison." The circumstances had been...far less kind.

Xavier shrugged. "It took getting used to. It's odd feeling like yourself and being yourself and looking in the mirror to find someone else staring back at you. Although this face isn't too far removed from how mine looked."

Maximus: He wanted to know what he looked like. A photograph, a painting, but he couldn't bring himself to ask. Too much too soon.

"Your father must have told you that I am in my original."

Xavier: “He did mention that briefly. I imagine that either be torturous or...comforting.”

Maximus: "Depends on the person, I suppose, and their master."

Xavier: Which is it for you, Xavier wondered. A comfort or a torment.

“I do miss my old body at times, when I’m feeling nostalgic. But I’ve grown fond of this one.”

Maximus: "How did you find him?"

Xavier: “Through his connection to someone else, to him and to me.”

Maximus: "Did he deserve it?"

Xavier: “He was a tormented soul but no, I don’t suppose he did. That’s why it was quick and painless. He went to bed and simply never woke up. Probably in Heaven now.”

Maximus: "Very good, Xavier." A gentle praise given without eye contact, staring with intent into the licking flames ascending the chimney.

Xavier: Had Maximus been looking at him, he would have seen the surprised look on Xavier’s face.

That was a first. Even though they were both demons, a part of him has been expecting Maximus to chide him—or mildly disapprove—of him having killed a man who hadn’t done anything to deserve it.  Instead he received praise, for what he could only imagine was the way he’d gone about the murder.

“....Thank you,” he said, much more softly than he’d intended.”

Maximus: He couldn't say what the man deserved, as he'd never met the original inhabitant. He had what Xavier gave him. He would always praise the quick and painless, regardless of whatever committed crime.

"Before, when human, please forgive me if you've told me, but were you completely English?"

Xavier: "As far as I know, although my information is limited. My father was born in Yorkshire and I believe his parents were as well. My mother--my real mother--is a mystery."

Maximus: "Yorkshire, m'lord?"

Xavier: "Leeds to be exact. My father and brother were born there, and my hag of a stepmother. We moved to Hull shortly after I was born."

Maximus: "I'm... surprised. I'm not well educated in accents, but I didn't expect yours with North England."

Xavier: "It took years of dedicated effort to rid myself of it."

Maximus: "Is it ridiculed as mine?"

Xavier: "In other parts of England perhaps, but for me it was more a matter of wanting to detach myself from the muck and mire of my life."

Maximus: "If it...takes effort to carry your mask, you needn't with me. I want you to know that."

Xavier: Xavier smiled fondly at Maximus. "After so long, it's become second nature. But I sincerely appreciate it."

Maximus: He wanted to ask his opinion of his accent, but thought better of it, turning back to the fire.

Still no violence, as he'd come to appreciate with Xavier. He wasn't sure what he expected anymore. Tradition and training at odds with his new master's custom.

"Do you dance...Xavier?"

Xavier: Maximus' accent was just one of many things Xavier loved and enjoyed about him. The man was perfect in every conceivable way.

"I most certainly do." He stood and offered a hand. "Would you like to dance with me, Maximus?"

Maximus: He had hoped his question would lead to this. Let it all be a dream which shattered in the morning of 1957, but to have a dance.

Quietly, Maximus got to his feet, managed to look his employer in the eyes. The hand, as warm as he expected, was taken. It was only proper Xavier lead. His chin finally raised as they took position.

Xavier: As Xavier took Maximus into his arms, he was acutely aware of the fact that in all the months they'd been together, this was only the second time they had touched.

Perhaps that was why it felt so intimate to be taking Maximus' hand and pulling him close, even if it was in a perfectly respectable way. They were sharing body heat, sharing breath, sharing the same thrill of closeness as Louis' trumpet serenaded them in the background.

Maximus: Maximus' pale skin could do nothing to conceal his blush, as pale as everything else, softly pink on his cheeks and nose. He could smell Xavier's cologne. He could feel that same body heat from every night unfastening his cufflinks. It was home.

"Are you self-taught?" A question meant for full voice, given closer to a whisper.

Xavier: Xavier couldn’t stop staring. The only time he got to be close to Maximus was during their dressing and undressing rituals so to have this golden opportunity was just...more than he ever could’ve hoped for.

“You could say that,” he murmured. “I learned by observing.”

Maximus: "I'm too old for modern dance, I'm afraid. But if... you'd like for me to learn... "

Xavier: “Owning a television set is as modern as I’d like to be.” He idly stroked Maximus’ back with his thumb.

Maximus: Heavy eyelids fell closed. He could feel that. How gentle. How very Xavier.

"This isn't a lie, is it?"

Xavier: "No, darling, it isn't." Now it was his voice that dropped to a whisper as he marveled at the way Maximus' eyelashes fanned across his cheeks. Such delicate, masculine beauty.

Maximus: "How am I to ever know for certain?"

Xavier: "Don't know. Feel." Feel me, my touch, this moment. Feel my forehead resting against yours as I offer you everything I have to give.

Maximus: A touch which froze his butler in place. Not out of fear, but something else entirely. He was suddenly lightheaded. Another wave of heat washed his entire being. They were dancing without moving, of that he was sure.

"I don't know how," not the way Xavier meant, but he knew he enjoyed this.

Xavier: "You're doing it now," he whispered, letting his eyes close while maintaining that chaste contact. He wanted Maximus to become accustomed to his touch. To willingly seek it. To demand it whenever he wanted.

"Just let yourself bask in the moment."

Maximus: "You say feel." Don't move. Let's just stand here and discuss this. "For whatever reason, one day, you're going to come home upset. By something meaningful or meaningless. You're going to take it out on me. You'll apologize. You'll do this again. You'll do it again."

Xavier: "If I am upset, I'll either let it pass or take it out on some morally bankrupt human or another in the woods. I will apologize, and it will be for you having to get blood out of my clothes. You will never be the subject of my rage."

Maximus: Well, it was more promise than any master had ever attempted. How far was Xavier willing to go, he now wondered.

"You want my... trust in you?"

Xavier: Xavier nodded. "I would like to earn it, yes." Simply wanting Maximus' trust wasn't enough. It wouldn't have been enough for anyone, in any circumstance.

Trust had to be worked for.

Maximus: "Do you want it enough to... ward yourself?"

Xavier: "Ward myself?"

Maximus: Maximus breathed slow and deeply. "If you want my trust... yes."

Xavier: "What sort of ward?"

Maximus: "One in which... you cannot physically strike me." Spells used against him was another matter.

Xavier: "If that would make you feel more comfortable, then yes." He knew that he wouldn't strike Maximus, but Maximus needed to know that as well.

If a ward helped build that trust then so be it.

Maximus: It was in its own right another test. If Xavier had refused, all of this would have been for nothing. A double-edged sword to say the least, but this was the way of demons.

"May we tonight?"

Xavier: Xavier nodded. "Yes, of course. Whenever you'd like."

Maximus: You're not refusing.

Maximus finally leaned back, willing to look Xavier in the eyes.

Xavier: His butler would be met with a gentle, patient smile.

Of course he wasn't refusing. Maximus' comfort was very important to him. Paramount, even.

Maximus: "You're not going to argue that I shouldn't require a ward?"

Xavier: "I know that I don't need a ward, but this isn't about that. This is about your comfort."

Maximus: "And do you think love is built on caution?"

Xavier: "I think love is built on trust, and trust needs to be earned."

Maximus: "M'lord... Xavier." He wanted to step away, but he couldn't bring himself to release any part of his employer.

"I'm still trapped between wanting this, wanting you, and everything before you telling me it's a lie."

Xavier: "That's why I'm not arguing, Maximus. I can tell you all day long that I won't strike you or hurt you, but that won't make you believe me after all the experiences you've had. You need to believe it on your own, and if a ward is what you need to start to believe that, then I welcome the ward."

Maximus: "Then... tonight. If we may, please." And reluctantly, he would release him.

Xavier: Xavier let him go with the same reluctance. "We can do it now if you wish."

Maximus: "I'll have to consult a book." It was a ward he could not place on himself. Several times he had tried. Each time a backfire. A master would always have control of his body. The spell which protected his mind had somehow survived. Either his mind was of little importance, or perhaps the origin of the spell, created by a spirit, meant something. He just didn't know.

"Should we... wait? For midnight."

Xavier: "We can do this as quickly or as slowly as you like, and I don't just mean the ward."

Maximus: The sooner this was over, the sooner I'll be able to trust you. The sooner I'll know if you mean what you say. The sooner I'll see the truth.

"I just... want to begin 57 the right way. What that is, I don't know."

Xavier: "Well then let's begin with this ward. We have enough time before midnight to put it in place."

Maximus: His butler seemed in a sudden daze. His mind somewhere else by the look in his eyes.

Maximus forced himself away, bowed, and excused himself to his quarters for his book.

Xavier: Incredible how in a matter of a single hour, something that had once seemed perfectly normal now felt out of place and strange.

After tonight, Maximus need never bow to him again.

Maximus: His briefcase was well organized, or so he had thought. Though he had a singular focus, he couldn't seem to grasp the book in the black pit of the bag.

Maximus glanced to the door. Head dipped into the bag, submerged in the frustrating hunt. He felt and felt and finally managed to summon the worn brown leather book from its depths.

One more look towards the door, beyond. Some part of him hoping Xavier had followed. Most of him grateful he had not.

Pad, pen, and book on the small table. He began to leaf through his grimoire.

Xavier: Xavier had returned to his chair by the fire as he waited for Maximus. He had briefly considered following but had immediately scrapped that idea. He didn't want to be overbearing and put even more pressure on this situation.

Maximus: Some ten minutes gapped between them, before his butler returned to the threshold.

"We'll need something sharp, charcoal, and a large leaf."

Xavier: "We can get some charcoal from the fire. I have a letter opener in my desk, is that sharp enough?"

As for the leaf, he looked through the box he had showed Maximus earlier to see if he could find a leaf of suitable size among the ones he'd practiced summoning.

Maximus: Maximus eyed the box Xavier retrieved. "It must be foldable. Nothing too dry." The piece of paper he carried was placed on Xavier's chair. He would then reach beyond the hearth for stray bits of black log. He felt the ash between his fingers.

Xavier: "....Would one of the leaves from the peace lily in the dining room work?" It being winter, all the trees with large leaves were completely bare. They would have to limit their selection to the plants inside the house.

Maximus: "We must draw a sigil in your blood, dusted with ash. It must be folded or rolled so that the sigil is unseen, and it must be eaten." To explain the size of the leaf required.

Xavier: "Would...lettuce...be appropriate? Or cabbage perhaps?"

Maximus: "Are they considered... leaves?" He dared to smile, humor and confusion evident.

Xavier: "Surely," Xavier said with a smile of his own. "If not, we'll give the peace lily leaf a go."

Maximus: "Are you ready?" He wanted to say 'my Lord' and Xavier's name simultaneously, so Maximus just decided against both. For now.

Xavier: A moment's concentration, and a leaf of lettuce appeared in his hand. Another moment, and the letter opener from his drawer appeared as well.

"Yes, I'm ready. How much blood is required?"

Maximus: "You're just showing off now," he murmured, the smallest flitted smile followed. "Enough to create this sigil." The paper was offered. The size of a palm would suffice in rendering the required detail. Not terribly intricate. No words from a dead language. Only many tiny symbols. Some of which seemed angelic in structure. Perhaps a nod to Enochian.

Xavier: Xavier studied the sigil. It was unfamiliar, but not too complicated to be painted accurately on a leaf of lettuce.

He sliced into his palm and got to work recreating it.

"How is that?" he asked a few moments later.

Maximus: "It's good." He knew the sigil well enough after so many attempts on himself. Essentially the same spell, only in reverse.

"You must have your intent in mind when you cover the ash, and maintain when you swallow whole."

Xavier: "Understood," he said with a nod. "Is there anything that has to be recited before or after I eat the leaf?"

Maximus: "I'm... not sure. The spell is usually to prevent others from harming the creator. It can be reversed, but I've never had a need of -" Maximus dropped his gaze.

Xavier: "We'll complete the spell as you know it." If necessary they could always test it on someone else and make adjustments if it didn't work.

Maintaining his intent in mind, Xavier completed the spell and swallowed the leaf whole.

Maximus: He couldn't help but be grateful for this man, for his kindness in silence, in not questioning his possession of such spell.

But now, he took a breath. Now, "Please, try to strike me."

Xavier: Even with the spell, the notion of lifting a hand to Maximus felt wrong.

"Can't we find someone else to test it on?"

Maximus: "You're free to ... kill, beat, anyone else. Your intention was... " Another breath. "What were you... thinking when you swallowed the spell?"

Xavier: "My intention was never to harm you."

Maximus: "Then it only matters on me."

Xavier: "It feels wrong to test it on you. I would rather repeat the spell with a random human and test it on them."

Maximus: "Xavier," he said gently. "Please put your intent into your hand and raise it."

Xavier: Xavier sighed. This still felt wrong. What if the ward had failed somehow?

His intent was just going to have to be strong enough to combat any failures.

Sighing again, Xavier put as much intent as he possibly could into his hand and lifted it, only for the intended slap to miss Maximus completely and find his own face instead.

Maximus: Maximus had braced himself for the spell to fail. With each and every attempt he'd made, swallowing the spell and expelling moments later, his expectation was quite low.

But then, Master Atlas slapped... himself?

His butler seemed frozen in place. His eyes were forward but... absent. He was holding his breath. He was doing everything within his power not to laugh.

The corner of his mouth creased, lips tightened.

"Hm." Maximus quickly cleared his throat.

Xavier: "Bloody hell," Xavier muttered, rubbing his cheek that was already stinging from his own slap. That was quite a little spell Maximus had. "I think the ward works."

He looked to his butler and chuckled. "You can laugh."

Maximus: "It's rude," said with blatant effort. He cleared his throat again. Deep breath. It was more than the slap. He was happy.

Xavier: Xavier smiled. "It's not rude if the person being laughed at is also laughing."

Maximus: Maximus suddenly turned his back to his master, walking away to save face. A fluttery breathy laugh no longer caged.

Xavier: His smile grew to the point of aching. No man had ever been so richly rewarded for a slap. He'd suffer a thousand more just to hear that laugh.

Maximus: "I'm sorry. I don't mean - mm." Maximus bit the corner of his lip, tried to breathe, but his giggle returned in full force. "I'm just..."

Xavier: Oh no, please don't stop. I want to hear that sweet laugh for the rest of my life.

"I told you it wasn't rude," Xavier chuckled. "You don't have to apologize."

Maximus: "What - What is this?"

Xavier: "What is what, darling?"

Maximus: That sweet pet name, like a push on his chest. "I've nev - This is completely foreign to me. I'm feeling lost and hopeless, and... I want to continue laughing. If this is all an elaborate joke, let it last five more minutes. It'll carry me through whatever trickery."

Xavier: "That's a great deal of emotion to be feeling in a single evening or hour or moment. But I can assure you, Maximus, this isn't a joke. We're on the cusp of a new year and we're going to ring it in together."

Maximus: How did Xavier expect him to believe this? His actions spoke as loud as his words, but this was simply too much for a single night.

"May I ask something else of you?"

Xavier: "Yes, of course. What would you have of me?" If it was in his power to give it, Maximus would have it.

Maximus: Maximus took a deep breath, chest strong and presented. "I want you to ring in the new year... at the Plaza."

Xavier: Xavier blinked. "You--what? You want me to leave you and go to the Plaza?"

Maximus: "You're young, Master Xavier, and I - I need time to think. I want you to enjoy the next hour." And another test of his freedom.

Xavier: Given everything that had just transpired, it felt wrong to just...leave. He was perfectly happy to leave Maximus in peace but surely that could be achieved if he just went to town or stayed in his room and gave Maximus the run of the house.

"Won't you get transported with me?"

Maximus: "Not if you say otherwise."

Xavier: "Right. So...you want me to go to the Plaza and leave you here." To spend the holiday alone.

Maximus: "And I want you to dance, and drink, and be merry, and... come home... to me."

Xavier: But I don't want to dance and be merry without you.

"...All right then. I'll go."

Maximus: "And you will drink?"

Xavier: "I'd be a sorry Englishman if I didn't."

Maximus: "And dance?" A step closer.

Xavier: "I make no promises."

Maximus: "But you must be merry."

Xavier: "I'll give it my best go."

Maximus: "Promise?" Slowly, Maximus had closed the gap between them. Just a hand-space of separation.

Xavier: "I promise," Xavier murmured, gaze landing on Maximus' lips.

Maximus: Lips which stretched in the smallest of genuine smiles. He caught that fixed stare, and would make no comment. Not an unattractive man by any means, but his own opinion he couldn't determine. Difficult to interpret after years of uncouth dominance from George Mays, of thrown away compliments to lull him into a false sense of confidence and security. He wanted very much to believe those eyes. Now, if they would just leave. Unless, of course, this was a lie, and he had saved himself the trouble of falling in love.

"Midnight," he whispered, returning his gaze back to rich hazel eyes. "Please."

Xavier: Xavier would've given anything to know what Maximus was thinking at that exact moment.

Was he regretting everything that had happened? Was he having second thoughts? Was he still waiting to wake up and find this had all been a dream?

"Midnight...?"

Maximus: "Yes. The first minute of the new year, please come back."

Xavier: "I'll be here, I promise."

Maximus: Xavier would be able to hear the soft swallow, pushing down desires for the sake of caution. Maximus stepped away and bowed. "Enjoy, Master Xavier."

Xavier: "Help yourself to the rest of the champagne," he said softly, sighing internally. "It's a holiday, after all."

Maximus: "Twelve-oh-one." He would wait, standing at rest until Xavier disappeared. He would wait for the familiar void of sensation, before allowing himself to breathe again. Was he truly across the country? Maximus began to check the house, disappearing into town, alone the road, exhausting himself in an effort to find Xavier hiding nearby.

There was nothing. He was allowed this time to think critically.

Xavier: Xavier was indeed across the country, though not at the Plaza.

Instead of cavorting with the drunken mortals at the gala, he'd found a rooftop with a good view of the ball in Times Square. After that, he decided to get some more practice in.

He only hoped there had been a few humans around when an armchair and a bottle of champagne disappeared into thin air.

Maximus: The house busied with life. Two exact copies of Maximus had began cleaning. Something to make him feel useful as he sat in the library, staring into the dying fire, bereft of Xavier's warmth and welcoming voice. He felt over the fresh marks on his hand, allowed himself a moment, felt over the remembrance scar on his wrist. There were no what ifs and should haves on his mind. Only the present. If this was deception, it was his own fault for falling. He felt younger than his years tonight. He knew better, and yet his heart hammered in his chest, felt behind his teeth, in his hands, and in his ears.

Take it out of me, he had begged Emily. He wanted this now. Whatever this was.

How long had he sat there? He didn't realize the fire had died completely. The room had gone cold.

The library and bedroom fireplaces were ignited. Candles from every room of the house were then gathered and placed throughout the library. The last of the champagne... yes. It would be chilled as well. What more? Precious hyacinth were plucked from his garden, carefully tied with twine.

Midnight, and intent was forced on even breathing.

Xavier: This certainly wasn't the New Year's Eve Xavier thought he would be having when he woke up that morning, or even three months ago. The entire world--his entire world--had changed completely in such a short amount of time.

Three months ago he would've been at the ballroom at the Plaza, having had enough champagne to actually inebriate himself, dancing with whatever woman (or women) had caught his eye knowing he'd have them in his bed before dawn and for a week afterward.

Now? He just wanted to go home and enjoy the last moments of 1956 with Maximus.

That was what he was really counting down to. Not the ball dropping or the new year, just the moment he could finally transport back to his library.

The festivities would only be getting started when he finally went back to his library.

His first thought as the scent of flowers and golden light hit him was that he'd somehow ended up in the ballroom at the Plaza.

"Maximus?"

Maximus: Maximus stood behind Xavier's chair, flowers behind his back. His chest heaved with a deep breath.

"I'm here," he greeted.

Xavier: Xavier turned and smiled. "So you are. Happy New Year. The room looks lovely."

Maximus: "How was the party?"

Xavier: “I’m sure it’s still raging.”

Maximus: "You're sure?"

Xavier: “Oh, yes. The well to do citizens of New York will be celebrating into the wee hours.”

Maximus: "Who did you dance with?"

Xavier: "No one. I watched the ball drop from an obliging roof top."

Maximus: "You did - You didn't dance at all?"

Xavier: Xavier shook his head. "I didn't, no. I borrowed a chair and some champagne from the Plaza and had a much quieter party."

Maximus: "Xavier..." Never had a name been said so gentle and so scolding.

Xavier: "Dancing with a stranger just didn't appeal."

Maximus: "You promised to be merry."

Xavier: "I am now."

Maximus: "That's not what we had agreed."

Xavier: "It's hard to be merry when you're not where you want to be. I had a comfortable chair and expensive champagne, I saw some of the fireworks. It was pleasant, but not merry."

Maximus: He wasn't sure what to make of this. His shoulders slacked by an inch. The flowers behind his back were brought to his side.

Xavier: Xavier recognized the flowers from Maximus' garden and smiled. "Have I disappointed you?"

Maximus: "Do you want me to tell you the truth?"

Xavier: "Best to start the year with honesty."

Maximus: "I wanted a recount of your evening. To see and feel... what you experienced. To see... if you would do as I... "

The flowers were carefully placed on Xavier's chair.

Xavier: “To see if I would do what?” Xavier’s voice was soft and apologetic. Less than an hour into the new year and he’d already let Maximus down.

Maximus: "If the master could obey the servant," he smiled.

Xavier: “I did my best. I went to New York and drank, but I am sorry I didn’t dance or partake in any merriment.”

Maximus: "What did you think about, sitting on that roof with your expensive champagne?"

Xavier: “I thought how incredible it was that my life had changed so much in such a short amount of time.”

Maximus: "How short?"

Xavier: “Three months.”

Maximus: "You're being too much." Hardly a scold. Too much blush to give him away.

Xavier: There was that smile again. “Just starting the year off with honesty.”

Maximus: "Or blatant flattery."

Xavier: "Blatant flattery from me is unmistakable."

Maximus: Each time you call me dear.

Maximus swallowed. "Dance with me, one last time."

Xavier: "Who shall we dance to?"

Maximus: "No words."

Xavier: "I know just the thing."

Xavier walked over the record player and put on Glenn Miller's Moonlight Serenade.

Maximus: Maximus smiled. What an excellent choice. His master - His companion? - had good taste.

He offered his hand, and asked, "What am I to call you?"

Xavier: He took Maximus’ hand and got into position. “I’d like for you to call me Xavier, but if you’re not comfortable with that, then whatever feels right.”

Maximus: "We've established that. What I mean is... " His hand came to rest on Xavier's shoulder. "...I'm not sure how to ask my question."

Xavier: “Were you referring to titles?”

Maximus: "Yes, I am."

Xavier: “You could call me your partner or your companion....your inamorato.”

Maximus: Oh. He wanted Xavier's gaze. "And it... is my choice?"

Xavier: He would have it. “Yes. Whichever feels right.”

Maximus: "And I may deny you at any time?"

Xavier: “Yes. You will never be forced to do anything you don’t want to do.”

Maximus: "Did you summon me seeking a... a lover?"

Xavier: “No, it wasn’t my intent.”

Maximus: "And you want to love me." A statement, but so very much did he want to hear Xavier say it again.

Xavier: “Yes, darling, I do. I very much want to love you.”

Maximus: This time, absent self-conscious flinch, Maximus smiled at his pet name.

Xavier: So you do like it when I call you that.

“My darling Maximus,” Xavier murmured, wanting so very badly to lean in and kiss him.

Maximus: With his name? Far too much. His chest rose and fell with two quick breaths. Dancing now with his eyes closed.

Xavier: That was fine. Xavier would just sway them along to the music.

Maximus: The room was both too still and spinning. Too warm and yet frozen. He felt contradictory and ridiculous.

"Are -" His voice was too soft. He tried again. "Are you tired?"

Xavier: Xavier shook his head. “Not terribly. The trip wasn’t very fatiguing.”

Maximus: His hand slowly slid down Xavier's arm, held his wrist, down further to take his fingers.

Xavier: Just what do you have in mind, Xavier thought, letting Maximus take his hand. He could take Xavier's whole arm if he wanted, he'd find no resistance.

Maximus: With that same speed, Xavier was tugged from the library and led towards the stairs. No explanation as the younger demon was led to his bedroom. The fire crackled in greeting. The door was shut behind them. This was a ritual he did not want to lose. It was well past the hour to undress his former master.

Xavier: Xavier smiled when he realized what Maximus' intent was. No matter how the world shifted and changed, he could only hope this ritual would remain the same.

And it would remain the same. Despite what had happened tonight, his darling Maximus would still be stopped when Xavier was undressed from the waist up.

Maximus: There they would stand in that silence. Maximus' hands slowly dropped to his sides.

Tell me something. Do something. Touch me.

"You're going to be tired tomorrow." As though Xavier were human, as though his sleep schedule mattered in the least.

"Thank you for going."

Xavier: "You don't have to thank me," he said softly, daring to take one of Maximus' hands between his own and keeping his hold loose should Maximus want his hand back. "I will do whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable and safe."

Maximus: "Except that."

Xavier: "Except dance and be merry when my heart isn't in it, yes. I apologize for that."

Maximus: "No, although there is that as well. Except... release me."

Xavier: And just like that, Maximus would be released.

"Apologies."

Maximus: "What?"

Xavier: "For being forward."

Maximus: "You..." The demon sighed.

Xavier: "...Ah. You meant from our bond."

Maximus: "I didn't know this side of you."

Xavier: "The romantic side?"

Maximus: "The confuddled side," he managed to say without laughing.

Xavier: Xavier chuckled. "I'm not often...confuddled. I find myself very distracted tonight."

Maximus: "Distracted?"

Xavier: "Yes." He smiled. "By you."

Maximus: "I know tonight is shattering, but what have I done?"

Xavier: “Exist.”

Maximus: You're being too much, those eyes said. "Give me your hand again, please."

Xavier: If only Maximus knew how much more Xavier wanted to say. Perhaps in time he would.

He took that lovely hand again.

Maximus: "Can you focus, Master Xavier?" Perhaps in time, his new companion would understand his sense of humor.

Xavier: He smiled and nodded. "Yes, I'll focus."

Maximus: "We were discussing," he sighed. "I suppose it doesn't matter."

Xavier: "We can discuss anything you deem worthy of discussion."

Maximus: "Then the subject you're having difficulty with."

Xavier: "I don't know that I would call it difficulty." Xavier sighed and brushed Maximus' knuckles with his thumb. "I'm a selfish man, Maximus. I don't want you apart from me, even if this feeling between us goes nowhere."

Maximus: "But it's allowed to go nowhere." Xavier had made promises this day, and days before it. To be scrutinized with just cause.

Xavier: He nodded. "Yes. Should you decide you don't want romantic attentions from me, I'll leave you be."

Maximus: "But, to send me to someone else... ?"

Xavier: “If you wish to leave, I won’t force you to stay.”

Maximus: "You would see the back of me?"

Xavier: “I won’t ship you off for refusing me, Maximus.”

Maximus: "You won't?"

Xavier: “No, I won’t. Your position here is not contingent upon you having a relationship with me. You don’t be dismissed for refusing one.”

Maximus: "... Then," no. Was this really what he wanted? No. "A year."

Xavier: “A year?”

Maximus: "We wait. I want to wait for a year."

Xavier: “You want to wait a year to consider a relationship?”

Maximus: "I don't want to."

Xavier: “You don’t want to wait a year to consider a relationship?”

Maximus: "I don't. But, if you mean what you say... " Maximus shut his eyes. "I want to be sure. We've gone beyond five minutes. It's not a trick yet. But if it is... "

Xavier: Xavier nodded. “I do mean it, but I understand.”

Maximus: "Do you?"

Xavier: Another nod. “I do. It’s as I told you before. I know that I’m serious in the promises I’ve made you and I can tell you every day that I am, but that won’t make you believe it. You need to make that judgment yourself.”

Maximus: "You're asking me to forget everyone before you. Every lie, every command, every touch. Three months, Master Xavier, weighed behind decades of service to whatever had inclination at the time."

Xavier: “I do not fault you for needing time to decide, Maximus. Nor do I blame you. Trust doesn’t develop overnight in the best circumstances, much less the ones you’ve been faced with.”

Maximus: "I wish I didn't feel this way."

Xavier: “I’m sure you do. I wish you didn’t either. I wish there was no reason for you to feel this way in the first place.”

Maximus: Without thinking, a blissful sensation indeed, Maximus hovered his hand beside Xavier's face, felt the warmth of his skin less than an inch from his palm and fingertips.

Xavier: Xavier debated closing his eyes, not wanting to spook Maximus or make him nervous. But he so badly wanted to see what this beautiful man would do next.

Would he touch him? Would he realize what he was doing and let his hand fall away?

Maximus: He realized, and just as the entire evening had been, an inner storm of debate, of right and wrong, of safe and reckless.

His other hand joined on the other side of Xavier's temple.

Xavier: Xavier held his breath. He was afraid to move, to blink. Only the crackle of the fireplace broke the silence.

It felt like absolutely anything could break the delicate spell woven around them.

Maximus: Xavier's every move, no matter the subtlety, was observed and put to memory. Analyzed for the expectant lie. This demon with humanity, the same as him. Almost as vulnerable. No one could command Xavier, his body forced to obey. No one could dismiss this man to be summoned by another within minutes, hours.

"Kiss me," he said without thinking, "and call me that name again."

Xavier: He forced himself to breathe out slowly, to keep his movements unhurried and nonthreatening. As much as he wanted to take Maximus into his arms and hold him close until the sun came up, he knew doing so wasn't an option. One day perhaps, but not now.

He wouldn't be yet another in a long list to treat this man brutally, unkindly.

"My darling Maximus." He leaned in carefully, pressing his lips to Maximus' with the gentlest pressure, pouring as much affection as he could into that sweet, chaste kiss.

Maximus: Those lips were warmer and softer than he had expected. Still devoid of lies, still absent violence. A demon in waiting had not appeared from behind the curtain to seize him. Aello's laugh could not be heard down the grand staircase, shouting fourberie at the top of his great lungs. He felt within himself an obligation for paranoia, as though anything less would dismount every hardship of the past fifty-seven years.

Maximus gave a small, genuinely sensual noise. Those hands finally touched Xavier's face, thumbs followed the sharp line of his jaw.

Xavier: There would be no violence or unpleasant surprise pounced and ready to give Maximus a rude awakening.

There was only the crackle of that fire, and a bottomless well of velvety soft adoration laid at his feet.

Oh. Oh. Now that was beautiful. He would’ve given anything to hear more, feel those hands absolutely everywhere. His darling, beautiful Maximus.

Maximus: Xavier had yet to touch him. On purpose, he would bet, for his benefit. Proof of his control. How far Xavier was willing to substantiate was the question.

The tiniest kiss followed their separation. "Will you be commanded?"

Xavier: It wasn’t so much about proof as it was...apprehension. Xavier wanted to touch Maximus, to feel his warmth pressed up against him, feel the shape of him beneath his clothes.

But no matter how much he wanted it, he refused to cross such an intimate line without Maximus’ permission.

“Ask anything of me and you shall have it.”

Maximus: Another test. These were little games. Dangerous little games with silk layers of meaning.

"Touch me. Touch... my face."

Xavier: Whether they were games or tests was of little consequence to Xavier; he was taking each one with the utmost seriousness.

Slowly, he brought up his hands to cradle Maximus' face.

Maximus: Heavy lids closed with the weight of intimacy. Overwhelmingly at ease with Xavier's nearness, as he had felt for some time now. What an image they must have made, standing there holding each other. How safe he felt. How terrified he was.

A single tear slid hot down his cheek. A shock to his skin.

"I'm sorry."

Xavier: It was wiped away with his thumb. "Whatever do you have to be sorry for?" Xavier said softly.

Maximus: "Please, don't hurt me."

Xavier: "Darling, I'm not going to hurt you."

Maximus: "We shall see." Another tear. "Please, kiss me again."

Xavier: It, too, was wiped away before Xavier leaned in again. His kiss was just as sweet and soft as before, only now it was accompanied by gentle caressing of Maximus' face.

Maximus: Xavier would have no time to catch the twin rivulets accentuating the sharpness of Maximus' cheekbones. His kiss was as earnest as it was tender. The smallest sniffle in between silent breaks of attachment. Xavier was cradled preciously. Pale hands slid their way to the back of his head, holding the demon in place with minimal strength.

Xavier: Xavier wanted so badly to take Maximus in his arms, to hold him tight and go to sleep with Maximus safe and warm in his embrace.

But for now, this was enough. This was more than he ever could've hoped for.

His beautiful, precious Maximus.

"It's all right, my darling," he whispered between kisses. "I'm not going anywhere. You're safe."

Maximus: "I don't mean to," he tried to explain. "I'm not - I'm not -" Another sniffle forced him away, face flushed with the strain of tears and embarrassment. Xavier was freed in an attempt to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand.

Xavier: "You don't have to qualify or explain." Xavier reached into his pocket for his handkerchief and offered it. "Much less apologize. Today--this evening--has been emotionally taxing."

Maximus: A part of him, most of him in fact, wanted Xavier to clean his face for him. An excuse for his nearness and warmth. He could not bring himself to ask, taking the offered cloth to set himself to rights.

"I'm... embarrassed. How can I look you in the eyes again." He tried to smile.

Xavier: Xavier smiled for him, as softly as he'd kissed him. "Please don't be. There's no need around me."

Maximus: "So much of what you say sounds like fiction. Words plucked from a romance novel."

Xavier: “I must confess that I haven’t read many romance novels. My words are all mine.”

Maximus: "Which makes them more potent."

Xavier: “And more meaningful.”

Maximus: "I'm lost. Completely. Tell me what to do next."

Xavier: “What do you want to do, darling?”

Maximus: "I just told you." The handkerchief was neatly folded. Something to do with his hands.

Xavier: “Would you like to sit by the fire with me?”

Maximus: "That is a safe solution."

Xavier: “Come.” Xavier arranged the two chairs in his bedroom close to the fireplace. He would’ve given a king’s ransom to have Maximus in his lap but just like before, having him bear was enough.

Maximus: It was a command. One which he would have obeyed regardless of its power. His silent wish was of similar mind. A loveseat would have been much better. Now, they were separated by a foot of dead space.

Not one to complain, Maximus took a seat in the inward most chair, subconsciously avoiding being near the door.

Xavier: Perhaps the foot of space was a blessing. It would help him keep his hands to himself and off of Maximus, and help him avoid making Maximus feel uncomfortable.

In that same vein, he said, "What were your plans for today?"

Maximus: Maximus smiled to himself. "For when you sleep?"

Xavier: "Yes, but also when you thought I was going to spend the whole evening in New York."

Maximus: "I," a side glance, "was, perhaps, going to practice my music."

Xavier: Ah, yes. That hauntingly beautiful music that he wasn't supposed to know existed.

"Oh? What do you like to play?"

Maximus: After everything they'd learned today, surely...

"I enjoy the violin. Vivaldi, Paganini - Italians. I suppose I'm biased."

Xavier: "Your bias is in excellent taste. I've always enjoyed Vivaldi. The first movement of Winter may be my favorite piece of his."

Maximus: Maximus' smile ached from both ends. "You must allow me to play it for you sometime."

Xavier: "I would love to hear you play." So you can know how beautifully you do so. "What's your favorite piece?"

Maximus: "I don't think there is only one, but one in particular gives me the most trouble. I suppose that makes it my obsession."

Xavier: “Is it one of those horrendously complex pieces that look like no mere mortal could ever compose them?”

Maximus: "Which is why I love Italian composers so much."

Xavier: Xavier chuckled softly. “As do I. I’m exceedingly fond of everything Italian, including its music. Perhaps...”

Maximus: His head turned towards Xavier before his eyes, still fixated on the fire. "Hmm?"

Xavier: “Would you like to go see the symphony sometime?”

Maximus: His jaw was caught before the fall. "I would... love to."

Xavier: “There are fantastic symphony orchestras in this country, they almost rival those in Europe. We can see as many as we want.”

Maximus: "I will n-" Maximus took a breath. "Forgive me. I'm still...learning how to speak with you."

Xavier: “There’s no need to apologize,” Xavier said gently. “Would you like to go see all the great symphonies of Europe?”

Maximus: "Or here, or anywhere in India." He swallowed. "I will never refuse symphony."

Xavier: “Then we shall see them all, particularly the Italian ones.”

Maximus: "Thank you, Xavier."

Xavier: Xavier smiled. “You’re welcome. I’ll enjoy myself as much as I hope you will. I’ll make sure we get the best seats.”

Maximus: "As obsessed, I hope, as you are with the pictures."

Xavier: “I enjoy art in all its forms.” And I enjoy enjoying them with you even more.

Maximus: "We should... collect more paintings and portraits. For the house. Yours still needs to be made."

Xavier: “I agree. There are several world class museums and galleries we can visit when we travel for concerts.”

Maximus: "Museums?"

Xavier: “They often display private collections and they always helpfully name the person those private collections belong to.”

Maximus: "You wish to buy directly from the owner?"

Xavier: “Buy, steal.”

Maximus: Maximus dared frown. Only minimally fearing for his spine.

"Purchase, yes. What is it you prefer?"

Xavier: “Darling, you know I’m a thief. I’ll make perfectly legitimate copies of anything that catches my fancy, should it be exceedingly rare or precious. No Fool’s Gold copies.”

Maximus: "It's not my place to say."

Xavier: Xavier couldn’t help but smile. “Do you disapprove of my thieving ways?”

Maximus: "Not when those you take from are deserving of it. But an elderly couple selling a family heirloom have done nothing to warrant."

Xavier: “Very well. We’ll look into the owners of the collections before I steal from them.”

Maximus: "You would do that for me?"

Xavier: “I would.”

Maximus: "Thank you..." Xavier. He felt he'd said his name enough tonight. Enough to last for days.

Xavier: “You don’t have to thank me, Maximus.”

Maximus: "Better than holding my hand out."

Xavier: “You can, and it will be taken.”

Maximus: "We've only just begun."

Xavier: "That doesn't mean you can't ask for affection." Xavier's voice was gentle and soft, as if he were afraid of scaring Maximus. "You can, and it'll be given without question."

Maximus: "Metaphorical has mixed with literal, and I can't tell the difference with you."

Xavier: "I promise that I'm being very literal. Any and all affection you want is yours."

Maximus: "Are you certain you're not rushing into these... feelings you have for me?"

Xavier: Xavier nodded. "I'm certain. I've given this a great deal of thought."

Maximus: Maximus slowly took a breath from his nostrils, blowing out gently from his mouth.

Xavier: "I understand if that's difficult to believe."

Maximus: "I wish you could, truly, and yet I'm glad you don't."

Xavier: Xavier offered Maximus a soft smile and held out his hand.

Maximus: The hand was studied, delicately taken after some consideration.

"I should let you sleep."

Xavier: He brushed his thumb across Maximus' knuckles. It didn't feel nearly as late as it currently was. The whole world felt like it was beginning anew.

"Is that what you desire?"

Maximus: "I don't want to uproot... your routine." Your life.

Xavier: “Routines can be easily adjusted,” he said softly. “But it’s all right if you would rather be alone. I won’t hold it against you.”

Maximus: "I don't sleep." Soft words, as though sharing secrets. "You have to sleep sometime."

Xavier: Xavier wanted to say that he'd gone without sleep before and had been perfectly well, and although it was true, he didn't want to be overbearing. He didn't want Maximus to feel forced to be in his company.

"Then I'll sleep."

Maximus: "Alright." But he didn't move.

Xavier: Nor did Xavier. He just continued to brush his thumb across Maximus’ knuckles, making sure his hold was light to allow his butler an out whenever he wanted.

Maximus: He didn't want an out. His fingers closed around Xavier's hand and lightly squeezed, wanting to feel his existence in his hold. Somehow make this realer.

Xavier: Xavier smiled softly. That settled that then. He’d continue to hold Maximus hand as long as Maximus wanted, until sleep took him or the sun rose.

Maximus: No, not until sun rose. His selfishness would only last so long, another ten minutes of silence and intimacy, before forcing himself to his feet. Xavier was gently tugged towards the bed.

Xavier: His eyes had closed without him realizing and opened suddenly when he felt movement. He must have nodded off.

Xavier got to his feet and went along without resistance, not quite managing to stifle a yawn.

Maximus: He was directed to bed, and after a second of hesitation, tucked under the covers. Don't think. Just be.

"Goodnight, Xavier," he whispered.

Xavier: Xavier sighed sleepily and settled against his pillow. “Goodnight, darling.”

Maximus: The door was closed behind him, gently so as not to disturb. There was much to reflect on this night. There would be no walk into the woods to practice. No scrimshaw or reading. No writing or cleaning. Simple, silent reflection in the library, staring into the embers until sunrise. He would refresh the fire and refresh, redress, and begin his kitchen duties.

#New Year New Beginning chapter #maximusfairchild

[callie-the-snarky-geek-blog]

RvB16 Episode 3 Review: Lost Time

(Old Blog Repost)

Wasn’t last week fun everyone? I thought it was fun! But yeah, a lot of shit happened despite Grif’s attempts to not let shit happen… that we can argue caused the shit to happen. Isn’t meta humor fun kids?! But yeah scary alien woman attacked (and converted Tumblr into her own group of worshipers from what I can tell), Donut is a God, and everyone’s been separated ala Season 3. Only this time with time travel… ala Season 3 but the separation happened before that part. I just gave myself a headache. Well.. lets get on with the review while my brain is still intact.

Overview

We begin on… IDK if it’s a planet or not, but someplace with snow! This is where Grif and Doc got sent… so this is the second time a portal sent Grif off to same snowy wasteland. Man, this really is like Season 3 only he’s taking Church’s role as the grumpy one while Doc is… Doc. Well at least he didn’t get hit in the nuts immideatly after this time or thrown in a cell! Anyways, yeah snowy wasteland. Doc is freaked out about the entire thing and what it means while Grif is trying to figure out how the portal gun works so that they can get out before they freeze. He’s also grumpy. But to be fair, if I saw a perfectly good pizza parlor blow up in front of me, I would be grumpy too.

Grif is also refusing to let Doc help or even get near him. Why? Well he’s pissed off cause they got roped into bullshit again, but the biggest thing seems to be that he got stuck with Doc who… you know, is a piss poor combatant, bad at his medic job, and had betrayed them not too long ago. To be fair, Doc… completely understands Grif hating him for that. Heck, he feels guilty for what he did. I’ll get into it more int he analysis portion, but it looks like Joe may be giving Doc character development… or is leading up to a joke later. but hey he’s giving Doc attention. More than I can say for Miles’ run (sorry Miles, I love you but I’m gonna point stuff like that out). Grif ignores the sob story to work on the gun,a nd to his credit he gets the thing to work… on shuffle. Okay, why did God put a shuffle function on the gun? Then again, God has his ways and as a Christian I should know to not question it… assuming that that’s the God we’re refereeing to anyways. Lets just pretend that’s the case for now.

Meanwhile, Tucker and Sister have made the same revelation. The two of them have ended up, to my glee, in Valhalla! Since the Recolleciton Trilogy is my favorite storyline, seeing it again makes me SO happy. IDK what point this is at. It could be before the Reds and Caboose got sent there, could be after the Reds fought Wash and the Meta, I don’t know. But who cares? It’s Valhalla again! I am happy! Also we learn that Tucker is atheist and Sister, like her brother, is agnostic. Good to know!

Tucker tries to figure out Donut’s cryptic warning of ‘the key to fixing the future is to fix the past’ or something along those lines. Sister however wants to hold it off and have a little ‘fun’ with Tucker… boy going through time to bang various historical figures! And Sister is officially more sexually ambitious than Tucker could ever hope to be. Tucker, being Tucker, is unhappy that… you know, she doesn’t want to bang him and all. He also refers to them apparently having had sex in Blood Gulch that… I forgot about I guess. But Sister says it didn’t happen and it wasn’t all that memorable anyways. Ouch… you know, when binging I found Sister pointless all in all and writing her out would have changed nothing. But now that she’s back and Joe is actually giving her attention, I freakin’ LOVE her. Keep it up Joe!

So now over to Simmons and Sarge with Simmons trying to figure the gun out. Him being a nerd, he’s far more confused and nitpicky about it than the others have been. Sarge is more than happy to accept having a ‘magic gun’ though and wants to get on to the ‘fixing the past’ thing. How? Well his first thought is to go to The Battle of Broken Ridge. Apparently it was rather traumatic for Sarge and going back would reopen some old wounds, but he’s willing to face it to fix it. We’ll talk more about this later. Simmons wants to instead go to a lab to get the gun taken apart to figure out how it works since nothing else had made sense and he wants to have something explainable. But Sarge convinces him to just figure it out by actually using the gun, leading us to the Battle of Broken Ridge… so using Ancient Egypt last episode was a total copout so no mummy fights. Damn it!

So yeah, after Gus, I mean Simmons, I mean Gus (come on, you can’t tell me he WOULDN’T do the same thing cause nerds) acts like a nerd by making a log, he and Sarge see the battle in progress. Past Sarge was a lieutenant at the time and sends his men out to make a surprise attack while he covered them from behind the ridges. This ended with them all getting massacred, and present Sarge figures that this is because the went in the wrong direction. SO he goes and tells them to go the other way.. which past Sarge makes them go back and… well, you can figure out how it ends. From the afterlife, I can just see Church laughing at them cause now they know how he felt during his time travel stint (yeah it was a simulation, but still)

Finally, we have Lopez coming back online after his head came off and Caboose fixed him. Shock of all shocks, I think Caboose has understood what Lopez is saying moreso than any other character as he tries to figure out Donut’s warning. He concludes on… universal savings… okay who let Joel write on the scripts?! But yeah, Caboose wants to create savings accounts for everyone in hopes of saving the universe. Too bad that he lost the penny he had on him, but it’s okay! Cause he actually figured out how the portal gun works! Because of course he did!

So the two end up back to the opening scene. Caboose tries to find his penny and… remember when Caboose seemed to lose focus and Grif had to remind him to find Donut? Turns out that it was resent Caboose and past Caboose actually didn’t lose focus. Ah, I love it when jokes come back around like that! So Caboose goes through another portal to keep looking, Lopez resigns himself to the end of the world, and somewhere Burnie is probably wondering how even with Church dead his character somehow always gets saddled with Joel’s. I guess we’ll never know.

Review

This was shorter than last week, but BOY does it leave me plenty to talk about!

The episode seems to exist to explain how the time travel will work, some more character development setup, and just to have some comedic hijinks after last weeks more plot heavy episode. And I thought it was great! Like I said, it reminds me a lot of Season 3 when everyone was separated and the first episode with it jumping back and forth between the pairs, setting up their situations. IDK if this was an intentional callback, but I liked it nonetheless. And everyones current situations and the pair dynamics were done very well. So lets just go in order here:

Grif and Doc: This is the one I’m most interested in, and so far I’m pleased! Beginning with Grif, he’s reacting exactly how I expected him to, ala being angry at the whole thing. t makes sense. Despite his efforts, the universe decided to shit on him again and thrust him and the others into another adventure and one arguably more insane than ever before. He’s also stuck with Doc, who he’s never particularly been on good terms with. Heck when he WAS friendly to Doc back in Blood Gulch and even got validation for using CPR to cure Sarges head wound, Doc threw him under the bus when he realized that Grif was the butt monkey. That was a dick move. Of course Doc has been shit on by everyone far more at this point, but still Grif’s got a bit more of an excuse than the others. Plus again, he was’t there when Doc turned on them and he at least had the dignity to just quit an tell them that he quit before things went to shit instead of just turn his back on then in a dire moment.

But going to Doc… his reaction is good. He actually takes responsibility for his actions, feels guilty that it contributed to everything that happened (Wash getting shot), and that he ultimately couldn’t talk the Blues and Reds out of their plans. He feels that he failed both sides and that in doing so, everyone got hurt. He even completley understands Grif hating him for it since he feels the same way about it. He doesn’t try to make excuses, even when honestly he has very valid reasons to make excuses. He’s been constantly shit on, forgotten about, and even got trapped in another dimension before and everyone just forgot about it and didn’t care. But we could say that betraying the guys when he knows that the Blues and Reds have fallen off their rocker was going a tad too far, even if he did try to use it to convince them to stop and failed. But its a nice look into Doc’s current psyche and Matt did a great job expressing how disappointed in himself he is.

Now will this lead to anything? It might. Normally with Doc, it’s hard to tell. I feel there may be a point where Doc either sacrifices himself to save Grif in a pivitol moment, like shoving him through a portal when one of the villains find him, or he goes all O’Malley to make a sacrifice play so that Grif can escape. IDK, but going off the self-loathing there’s a god chance that something’s gonna happen and this time it may have more of an impact. We’ll have to wait and see, but  hey it’s something. Can’t wait to see what happens with these two next!

Tucker and Sister: Their moment is mainly for comedy but it was good! Like I said, I loved seeing Valhalla again. IDK if they’ll still be there later, but hey I appreciate the callback. It’s also nice to see Tucker being… well, Tucker again. Hes had a lot of character development since Chorus, and it was very well done. But after last season, while I personally didn’t find him OOC, I an see why the way he was written was frustrating for people. Plus after all the events in Chorus and S15, I think we needed to see him in a happier state of mind, and it looks like he is. I said before that it felt like S15 was Joe trying to put the bookend on Blue Team’s problems, and I think it shows. Tucker seems far more relaxed and comedic, like during Recollection. Hopefully he still has his newfound competence, and I assume that when things go to shit again we’ll see that. But he’s in a place where he can be comedic Tucker without him coming across as an arrogant idiot, so this is good.

Then we have Sister… OMG Sister. SO as I said above, I did not care about Sister when I was watertight Blood Gulch. She wasn’t particularly bad, her personality was strong and fitting for the cast of characters she was in. But… she didn’t really do anything. According to Burnie on the DVD commentaries, he had wanted to add her for a while and S5 was the only place he could, but still you could write he rout and very little would change. Her being gone for over half the series since then doesn’t help. But the upside to adidng her back is now they can actually do stuff with her, and so far I’m happy!

Okay so Sister’s so far only expressed wanting to bang historical figures and I kind of hope we can see her do more than make sex jokes. But hey, we can officially confirm her bi now so yay canon bisexual character! Plus the way her and Tucker’s banter was written was very well done. It was really funny and her proving to be far more ambitious with her sex life and finding Tucker not worth remembering was hilarious. Plus her just not giving a shit about Tucker’s advances are both hilarious and make me very happy. Sorry Tucker, but hey at least our probably the only guy who an claim to have had sex with an entire planet… and still paying the lawsuit for it XD

Sarge and Simmons: It was hilarious, Plain and simple. It’s been a pretty good while since these two had one-on-one time and so far I’m pleased with what we have. Simmons wanting to study the gun and have some kind of explanation he can cling to when noting else is making any kind of logical sense is perfectly IC. I’m also glad to see him actually disagreeing with Sarge and trying to get his own point across. Simmons has mostly grown out of the kissass phase, at least tot he extent he was in Blood Gulch, and I’m glad to see that sticking. He feels a lot mroe independent but still the nerd we all know and love. Character development, yay!

Then we have the Battle of Broken Ridge and all the continuity stuff it brings up. If I had to guess, it takes place early in Sarge’s military career before he became an ODST or this was before he got put into Blood Gulch. Considering we don’t completely know how these outposts operate aside form how they use the SIM troopers, I don’t find it hard to buy that Sarge has been on multiple Red Teams before getting recruited for Blood Gulch. But these guys have brown armor so… IDK. But still, it’s good to see some backstory and it was good to see Sarge try to save his men. Sure it looks like he failed, but hey he tried.

Still, it really DOES make me ponder on this whole ‘fixing the past’ thing. Like… what does Donut mean by the past? For the Reds and Blues to fix their own pasts? I’m assuming not since Sarge only inadvertently caused it. Did the villains do something in the past and damage it? Why didn’t Donut just say that though? Or is ‘God’ just using the Reds and Blues to invoke what will fulfill the prophecy mentioned in Episode 1? After all, it’s said they end the world and this may be the catalyst that cause sit, hence why Huggins (where is she BTW?) has to follow them around. But I would hope that the puppetmaster would have made a reasonable explanation about what had to be fixed to provoke that. IDK, it’s way too early to tell and this is a multi-part saga, so we’re just gonna have to see how it plays out.

And finally…

Caboose and Lopez: THIS WAS EVERYTHING I HOPED FOR. Caboose being… Caboose, but also showing that he CAN be competent in his own way. Sure he got Donut’s message wrong, but at least he was thinking about it. Plus he was able to both fix Lopez and actually understand what he said. IDK if Caboose can speak Spanish, but I absolute believe that he can just until what Lopez is saying. And unlike everyone else, except maybe Simmons unless they just used shuffle enough times until they got the right portal (which if that isn’t the case, kudos to Simmons for figuring it out on his own), Caboose is the only one who figured out how to make the gun work. So now hes on a Penny Quest as Lopez continues to regret his own existence. I love it!

I admit I wasn’t sure how this was going to work since Caboose and Lopez are the two most incomprehensible characters int he show. Caboose is random and dimwitted, and no one an understand Lopez at all. But it’s surprisingly really funny so far! Normally having characters together alone like this without someone else to keep it balanced can be annoying very quickly. But in this case, it came off as really funny and not exaggerated. I guess it helps that Caboose can understand what Lopez is saying, but still it’s just the right balance. Which is good since I assume that they’re going to be the comedy relief pair for now. But who knows?

Final Thoughts

As I said, this seems to be here to show us how the time travel will play out and I assume the next episode will either cut to Chorus or focus on one pair for the majority of it. We’ll have to see. Still, this was good! The interactions were really good and I really enjoyed seeing it play out. Everyone felt IC and leaves plenty of setup for their respective situations. It leaves the question of what happened to Donut, but I guess we’ll find out eventually. But overall, this was a fun episode that perfectly sets up what we can expect. Hopefully, we’ll be delivered just what we’re hoping for.

#rvb #rvb16 #rvb reviews #old blog repost

[calliecat93]

RvB16 Episode 3 Review: Lost Time

Wasn’t last week fun everyone? I thought it was fun! But yeah, a lot of shit happened despite Grif’s attempts to not let shit happen... that we can argue caused the shit to happen. Isn’t meta humor fun kids?! But yeah scary alien woman attacked (and converted Tumblr into her own group of worshipers from what I can tell), Donut is a God, and everyone’s been separated ala Season 3. Only this time with time travel... ala Season 3 but the separation happened before that part! I just gave myself a headache. Well.. lets get on with the review while my brain is still intact.

Overview

We begin on... IDK if it’s a planet or not, but someplace with snow! This is where Grif and Doc got sent... so this is the second time a portal sent Grif off to same snowy wasteland. Man, this really is like Season 3 only he’s taking Church’s role as the grumpy one while Doc is... Doc. Well at least he didn’t get hit in the nuts immideatly after  or thrown in a prison cell this time! Anyways, snowy wasteland! Doc is freaked out about the entire thing and what it means while Grif is trying to figure out how the portal gun works so that they can get out before they freeze. He’s also grumpy. But to be fair, if I saw a perfectly good pizza parlor blow up in front of me, I would be grumpy too.

Grif is also refusing to let Doc help or even get near him. Why? Well he’s pissed off cause they got roped into bullshit again, but the biggest thing seems to be that he got stuck with Doc who... you know, is a piss poor combatant, bad at his medic job, and had betrayed them not too long ago. To be fair, Doc... completely understands Grif hating him for that. Heck, he feels guilty for what he did. I’ll get into it more in the analysis portion, but it looks like Joe may be giving Doc character development... or is leading up to a joke later. but hey he’s giving Doc attention. More than I can say for Miles’ run (sorry Miles, I love you but I’m gonna point stuff like that out). Grif ignores the sob story to work on the gun, and to his credit he gets the thing to work... on shuffle. Okay, why did God put a shuffle function on the gun? Then again, God has his ways and as a Christian I should know to not question it... assuming that that’s the God we’re refereeing to anyways. Lets just pretend that’s the case for now.

Meanwhile, Tucker and Sister have made the same revelation. The two of them have ended up, to my glee, in Valhalla! Since the Recollection Trilogy is my favorite storyline, seeing it again makes me SO happy. IDK what point this is at. It could be before the Reds and Caboose got sent there, could be after the Reds fought Wash and the Meta, I don’t know. But who cares? It’s Valhalla again! I am happy! Also we learn that Tucker is atheist and Sister, like her brother, is agnostic. Good to know!

Tucker tries to figure out Donut’s cryptic warning of ‘the key to fixing the future is to fix the past’ or something along those lines. Sister however wants to hold it off and have a little ‘fun’ with Tucker... by going through time to bang various historical figures! And Sister is officially more sexually ambitious than Tucker could ever hope to be. Tucker, being Tucker, is unhappy that... you know, she doesn't want to bang him and all. He also refers to them apparently having had sex in Blood Gulch that... I forgot about I guess. But Sister says it didn’t happen and it wasn’t all that memorable anyways. Ouch... you know, when binging I found Sister pointless all in all and that writing her out would have changed nothing. But now that she’s back and Joe is actually giving her attention, I freakin’ LOVE her. Keep it up Joe!

So now over to Simmons and Sarge with Simmons trying to figure the gun out. Him being a nerd, he’s far more confused and nitpicky about it than the others have been. Sarge is more than happy to accept having a ‘magic gun’ though and wants to get on to the ‘fixing the past’ thing. How? Well his first thought is to go to The Battle of Broken Ridge. Apparently it was rather traumatic event for Sarge and going back would reopen some old wounds, but he’s willing to face it to fix it. We’ll talk more about this later. Simmons wants to instead go to a lab to get the gun taken apart to figure out how it works since nothing else had made sense and he wants to have something explainable. But Sarge convinces him to just figure it out by actually using the gun, leading us to the Battle of Broken Ridge... so using Ancient Egypt last episode was a total copout so no mummy fights. Damn it!

So yeah, after Gus, I mean Simmons, I mean Gus (come on, you can’t tell me he WOULDN’T do the same thing cause nerds) acts like a nerd by making a log, he and Sarge see the battle in progress. Past!Sarge was a lieutenant at the time and sends his men out to make a surprise attack while he covered them from behind the ridges. This ended with them all getting massacred, and present!Sarge figures that this is because the went in the wrong direction. So he goes and tells them to go the other way.. which past!Sarge makes them go back and... well, you can figure out how it ends. From the afterlife, I can just see Church laughing at them cause now they know how he felt during his time travel stint.

Finally, we have Lopez coming back online after his head came off and Caboose fixed him. Shock of all shocks, I think Caboose has understood what Lopez is saying moreso than any other character as he tries to figure out Donut’s warning. He concludes on... universal savings... okay who let Joel write on the scripts?! But yeah, Caboose wants to create savings accounts for everyone in hopes of saving the universe. Too bad that he lost the penny he had on him, but it’s okay! Cause he actually figured out how the portal gun works! Because of course he did!

So the two end up back to the opening scene. Caboose tries to find his penny and... remember when Caboose seemed to lose focus and Grif had to remind him to find Donut? Turns out that it was present!Caboose and past!Caboose actually didn’t lose focus. Ah, I love it when jokes come back around like that! So Caboose goes through another portal to keep looking, Lopez resigns himself to the end of the world, and somewhere Burnie is probably wondering how even with Church dead his character somehow always gets saddled with Joel’s. I guess we’ll never know.

Review

This was shorter than last week, but BOY does it leave me plenty to talk about!

The episode seems to exist to explain how the time travel will work, some more character development setup, and just to have some comedic hijinks after last weeks more plot heavy episode. And I thought it was great! Like I said, it reminds me a lot of Season 3 when everyone was separated and the first episode with it jumping back and forth between the pairs, setting up their situations. IDK if this was an intentional callback, but I liked it nonetheless. And everyone's current situations and the pair dynamics were done very well. So lets just go in order here:

Grif and Doc: This is the one I’m most interested in, and so far I’m pleased! Beginning with Grif, he’s reacting exactly how I expected him to, ala being angry at the whole thing. It makes sense. Despite his efforts, the universe decided to shit on him again and thrust him and the others into another adventure and one arguably more insane than ever before. He’s also stuck with Doc, who he’s never particularly been on good terms with. Heck when he WAS friendly to Doc back in Blood Gulch and even got validation for using CPR to cure Sarges head wound, Doc threw him under the bus when he realized that Grif was the butt monkey. That was a dick move. Of course Doc has been shit on by everyone far more at this point, but still Grif’s got a bit more of an excuse than the others. Plus again, he was’t there when Doc turned on them and he at least had the dignity to just quit and tell them that he quit before things went to shit instead of just turn his back on then in a dire moment. 

But going to Doc... his reaction is good. He actually takes responsibility for his actions, feels guilty that it contributed to everything that happened (Wash getting shot), and that he ultimately couldn’t talk the Blues and Reds out of their plans. He feels that he failed both sides and that in doing so, everyone got hurt. He even completely understands Grif hating him for it since he feels the same way about it. He doesn’t try to make excuses, even when honestly he has very valid reasons to make excuses. He’s been constantly shit on, forgotten about, and even got trapped in another dimension before and everyone just forgot about it or just didn’t care. But we could say that betraying the guys when he knows that the Blues and Reds have fallen off their rocker was going a tad too far, even if he did try to use it to convince them to stop and failed. But its a nice look into Doc’s current psyche and Matt did a great job expressing how disappointed in himself he is.

Now will this lead to anything? It might. Normally with Doc, it’s hard to tell. I feel there may be a point where Doc either sacrifices himself to save Grif in a pivotal moment, like shoving him through a portal when one of the villains find him, or he goes all O’Malley to make a sacrifice play so that Grif can escape. IDK, but going off the self-loathing there’s a good chance that something’s gonna happen, and this time it may have more of an impact. We’ll have to wait and see, but hey it’s something. Can’t wait to see what happens with these two next!

Tucker and Sister: Their moment is mainly for comedy but it was good! Like I said, I loved seeing Valhalla again. IDK if they’ll still be there later, but hey I appreciate the callback. It’s also nice to see Tucker being... well, Tucker again. Hes had a lot of character development since Chorus, and it was very well done. But after last season, while I personally didn’t find him OOC, I can see why the way he was written was frustrating for people. Plus after all the events in Chorus and S15, I think we needed to see him in a happier state of mind, and it looks like he is. I said before that it felt like S15 was Joe trying to put the bookend on Blue Team’s problems, and I think it shows. Tucker seems far more relaxed and comedic, like during Recollection. Hopefully he still has his newfound competence, and I assume that when things go to shit again we’ll see that. But he’s in a place where he can be comedic Tucker without him coming across as an arrogant idiot, so this is good.

Then we have Sister... OMG Sister. SO as I said above, I did not care about Sister when I was watching Blood Gulch. She wasn't particularly bad, her personality was strong and fitting for the cast of characters she was in. But... she didn’t really do anything. According to Burnie on the DVD commentaries, he had wanted to add her for a while and S5 was the only place he could, but still you could write her out and very little would change. Her being gone for over half the series since then doesn’t help. But the upside to adding her back is now they can actually do stuff with her, and so far I’m happy!

Okay so Sister’s so far only expressed wanting to bang historical figures and I kind of hope we can see her do more than make sex jokes. But hey, we can officially confirm her bi now so yay canon bisexual character! Plus the way her and Tucker’s banter was written was very well done. It was really funny and her proving to be far more ambitious with her sex life and finding Tucker not worth remembering was hilarious. Plus her just not giving a shit about Tucker’s advances are both hilarious and make me very happy. Sorry Tucker, but hey at least our probably the only guy who an claim to have had sex with an entire planet... and still paying the lawsuit for it XD

Sarge and Simmons: It was hilarious, Plain and simple. It’s been a pretty good while since these two had one-on-one time and so far I’m pleased with what we have. Simmons wanting to study the gun and have some kind of explanation he can cling to when nothing else is making any kind of logical sense is perfectly IC. I’m also glad to see him actually disagreeing with Sarge and trying to get his own point across. Simmons has mostly grown out of the kissass phase, at least to the extent he was in Blood Gulch, and I’m glad to see that sticking. He feels a lot more independent but is still the nerd we all know and love. Character development, yay!

Then we have the Battle of Broken Ridge and all the continuity stuff it brings up. If I had to guess, it takes place early in Sarge’s military career before he became an ODST or this was before he got put into Blood Gulch. Considering we don’t completely know how these outposts operate aside form how they use the SIM Troopers, I don’t find it hard to buy that Sarge has been on multiple Red Teams before getting recruited for Blood Gulch. But these guys have brown armor so... IDK. But still, it’s good to see some backstory and it was good to see Sarge try to save his men. Sure it looks like he failed, but hey he tried.

Still, it really DOES make me ponder on this whole ‘fixing the past’ thing. Like... what does Donut mean by the past? For the Reds and Blues to fix their own pasts? I’m assuming not since Sarge only inadvertently caused it. Did the villains do something in the past and damage it? Why didn’t Donut just say that though? Or is ‘God’ just using the Reds and Blues to invoke what will fulfill the prophecy mentioned in Episode 1? After all, it’s said they end the world and this may be the catalyst that causes it, hence why Huggins (where is she BTW?) has to follow them around. But I would hope that the puppetmaster would have made a reasonable explanation about what had to be fixed to provoke that. IDK, it’s way too early to tell and this is a multi-part saga, so we’re just gonna have to see how it plays out.

And finally...

Caboose and Lopez: THIS WAS EVERYTHING I HOPED FOR. Caboose being... Caboose, but also showing that he CAN be competent in his own way. Sure he got Donut’s message wrong, but at least he was thinking about it. Plus he was able to both fix Lopez and actually understand what he said. IDK if Caboose can speak Spanish, but I absolute believe that he can just get what Lopez is saying. And unlike everyone else, except maybe Simmons unless they just used shuffle enough times until they got the right portal (which if that isn’t the case, kudos to Simmons for figuring it out on his own), Caboose is the only one who figured out how to make the gun work. So now hes on a Penny Quest as Lopez continues to regret his own existence. I love it!

I admit I wasn’t sure how this was going to work since Caboose and Lopez are the two most incomprehensible characters in the show. Caboose is random and dimwitted, and no one an understand Lopez at all. But it’s surprisingly really funny so far! Normally having characters together alone like this without someone else to keep it balanced can be annoying very quickly. But in this case, it came off as really funny and not exaggerated. I guess it helps that Caboose can understand what Lopez is saying, but still it’s just the right balance. Which is good since I assume that they’re going to be the comedy relief pair for now. But who knows?

Final Thoughts

As I said, this seems to be here to show us how the time travel will play out and I assume the next episode will either cut to Chorus or focus on one pair for the majority of it. We’ll have to see. Still, this was good! The interactions were really good and I really enjoyed seeing it play out. Everyone felt IC and leaves plenty of setup for their respective situations. It leaves the question of what happened to Donut, but I guess we’ll find out eventually. But overall, this was a fun episode that perfectly sets up what we can expect. Hopefully, we’ll be delivered just what we’re hoping for.

#rvb #rvb16 #rvb reviews #callie reviews

[farbsturz]

title: The pain of yesterday

fandom: batman (comics)

characters: Damian Wayne, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake

rating: general

word count: 1705

AO3

description:

Damian didn’t have to look up from his own grave to see Todd standing still, blue eyes fixated on the personal tombstone. He could imagine the way the snow had already covered black hair, the way hands might be clenched into fists as their warmth was taken from them.

Stupid Todd. Always forgot to wear appropriate clothes for the seasons.

The two brothers stood in silence and Damian wondered whether he should break the silence. Damn it, where was Grayson when you needed him? Why the hell had the boy decided to come out here?

Oh yea.

Because no one should be alone on the anniversary day of their own death.

Dying was easy.

Coming back was a different story.

In this business dying was an occupational hazard. But when it actually happens no one is prepared. For the pain. For the loss. For the absence.

The boy glanced one more time at the ticking clock before he reached for his coat to put on. His boots weren’t far away and the quiet steps of paws followed his every step. He wasn’t one for sentimental talks, hell, even Drake would be a better choice, but the youngest one knew what the others didn’t.

He knew what death felt like.

As Damian stepped out of the kitchen and into the dark garden, the coldness was the first thing he noticed. The wind was clawing at his body heat and he buried his hands in the pockets to save as much warmth as he could. The darkness of the night soon began to swallow him but the boy knew where he had to go. The silence of the end of the day was accompanied by the soft sounds of steps in the heavy snow and Damian huffed as he watched his dog jump around in obvious amusement.

At least one of them was having fun.

Damian and Titus continued to walk towards the place the boy had tried to avoid all those months. He had visited the area after he had come back, however it had acted as a grim reminder for his failure.

The failure of dying.

Even though his family had mostly remained quiet, Damian had eventually found the recordings of the cave and the time he had been… away. He had seen his oldest brother being uncharacteristically silent, had seen Drake actually shedding tears. Even Todd had been more aggressive towards his father than usual.  

His absence had caused the people he cared about great grief.

And it had only been after his death that Damian had realized that they had cared about him just as much.

Releasing a deep breath, the boy watched his breath being carried away by the wind. His steps became slower and Damian gritted his teeth as his reluctance began to show.

It didn’t matter anymore.

He was alive.

He was with his father and… brothers.

He had overcome death.

Damian pushed himself to walk further until he could finally see his goal: the family graveyard. Many graves decorated this part of their property and green eyes glanced towards the tombstones of Martha and Thomas Wayne. His grandparents. He used to come here often and complain to them whenever father hadn’t understood him.

Which had been a lot of times.

Normally Damian wasn’t one to believe in ghosts or the supernatural. And talking to a pile of stones had felt stupid at first as well, however he had found comfort in wording his thoughts and struggles.

Dead people couldn’t judge him.

Coming to a stop in front of his own grave, the boy’s back began to tense up. He straightened his stance in an unconscious way to present superiority.

He had beaten death.

He didn’t lay here anymore.

Titus came to a stop next to him and Damian wondered whether his dog remembered the time when he hadn’t been there. The way the animal lowered its head and snuggled closer to the youngest’s leg, Damian could only guess so. Green eyes studied the destroyed tombstone by his grave and he clicked his tongue quietly.

“Father?”

“Yes, Damian?” “What happened to my tombstone?”

“...I destroyed it. When I had made up my mind to bring you back, I destroyed it to show my resolve that you won’t stay here. That you won’t need one.”

Another tombstone was still intact.

And the person standing in front of it dead silent.

Damian didn’t have to look up from his own grave to see Todd standing still, blue eyes fixated on the personal tombstone. He could imagine the way the snow had already covered black hair, the way hands might be clenched into fists as their warmth was taken from them.

Stupid Todd. Always forgot to wear appropriate clothes for the seasons.

The two brothers stood in silence and Damian wondered whether he should break the silence. Damn it, where was Grayson when you needed him? Why the hell had the boy decided to come out here?

Oh yea.

Because no one should be alone on the anniversary day of their own death.

Damian licked his lips and tried to sound as indifferent as always.

“I believe I have failed to express my… gratefulness all those months ago.”

Silence.

But he could hear the change as his brother shifted his weight.

Todd was listening.

“I believe it was fairly obvious that you, Drake and me had quite a lot disagreements since I had arrived in Gotham for the first time. And it’s no secret that we can not stand each other. And yet…”

He swallowed the lump in his throat, eyes fixated on the broken tombstone.

“And yet you and Drake went to Apokolips to help my father. To help him in reviving me. And when I had heard about Grayson’s ‘death’, you two did not abandon me.”

His voice grew smaller and smaller with each word and Damian closed his eyes to force the rest of his thoughts out.

“I appreciate it. And I appreciate the family which had accepted me. A broken, makeshift family with bonds stronger than blood.”

He finally looked towards his brother and Titus trotted over towards the former Robin to nudge against a leg.

“Whether we want it or not, Todd. We are not alone. Never.”

The hint of a smile appeared on his brother’s face for a mere second but Damian had noticed it. He watched as Todd began to scratch Titus’ ear and the dog seemed to love it as he barked happily. The sound tore through the silence of the night and the heavy sadness was lifted from their shoulders. Green blinked in surprise when a small light appeared in the corner of his eyes and Damian turned to see several fireflies around some of the tombstones. The small animals shouldn’t be alive in this season but who was Damian to judge? He and Todd shouldn’t be here as well.

Outstretching his hand, the boy stayed perfectly still as a firefly landed on his hand. Many months before he had admired and envied these little creatures. They could always produce light, would never get swallowed by the darkness. Damian used to wonder whether he could steal their light and take it for himself if he killed enough.

But he had found his own light.

“Here you are!”

A ridiculously loud voice called out and Damian watched as the firefly took off once again. A huge flashlight shone into his eyes and the boy clicked his tongue in annoyance as he shielded his eyes.

“Whoops, sorry.”

The voice laughed and the light was soon lowered to reveal their oldest brother’s huge grin. Grayson was wearing layers of clothes and Damian merely huffed as a gloved hand came down to ruffle his hair.

The boy would never admit it but he savored those little moments of affection.

“Tim and I looked everywhere for you two. I even checked below your beds but we couldn’t find you.”

Grayson’s smile softened as he walked towards Todd and Damian watched in silence as the oldest brother removed his hat to place it on the other’s head. Todd seemed to roll his eyes but he didn’t complain about the mother hen action.

Throwing an arm around Todd’s neck, Grayson led him towards the manor once again. As they passed the youngest boy Richard interlocked his arm with Damian’s, making sure his brothers wouldn’t get away once again.

Titus barked happily and began to jump through the snow as the Robins began their walk back towards the manor, Grayson’s annoyingly cheerful voice ranting about trivial things.

A quick glance towards Todd revealed the smallest of smiles and Damian had to look away to keep his own hidden. Leave it to Richard to pull them out of their sulking.

They soon enough reached the warmth of the kitchen and Todd complained loudly as Titus decided to shake off the snow right next to him. Grayson’s laughter was interrupted as the second Robin threw the hat into his face and Damian watched in satisfaction as his brothers began to bicker slightly.

The more annoying Todd sounded, the better he must be feeling.

The youngest Robin sat down at the kitchen island as the other two prepared some milkshakes and snacks for the upcoming DVD evening. Even Drake joined them soon enough after he had prepared the living-room for their needs.

The conversations they held were mostly mundane, with Drake and Grayson talking most of the time. Here and there insults were exchanged as someone messed up the food of another but Richard was quick to restore the peace between the brothers. Seeing Todd opening up some and making snarky comments whenever he could only proved that the presence of their brothers helped to ease his mind.

They finally entered the living-room and before Todd could do something, Damian watched as Drake and Grayson took the seats at both ends of the couch. With this they forced him to sit in the middle of their little sibling gathering.

For this day Todd wouldn’t be allowed to be an outsider.

Green observed the second Robin hesitantly sitting down on the couch and even though Damian would have preferred to sit next to Grayson, he reluctantly sat down between Todd and Drake. Snacks and drinks were exchanged before they made themselves comfortable. The movie began and the boy clicked his tongue as he watched the first few seconds.

Of course, a black and white movie for the brooding vigilante who loved classical literature.

Damian didn’t know how much time had passed before his eyelids began to feel heavy. He leaned more and more against Todd who surprisingly didn’t seem to mind. The current Robin felt himself drifting off as he absentmindedly felt an arm readjusting his covers before resting around his shoulder.  

This family might have been broken and makeshift.

But Damian couldn’t have asked for more.

#dc #damian wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #hurt/comfort #robins looking out for each other #its basically the anniversary of jason's death and his brothers wont let him be alone at this day #my fic

[mindmeafterdark]

Hereafter

-Have you ever considered the difficulty of outrunning the sun?

Vampire of my lineage could withstand the rays of dusk and dawn and even cloud covered days but full sunlight was a death sentence. One could imagine how this was discovered.

After Cora's death I found myself out just prior to sunrise every day for a countless number thereafter. I'd wait until the beams would start to singe my brows and then...then I would run. I wasn't so much trying to escape it as I was letting it chase me.

This recklessness is what I thought I needed, this dangerous game of cat and mouse with a ball of fire.

But it turned out to be the exact opposite. 

What I yearned for was to stop the spin of things I couldn't fix or alter.

Control.

That was what I needed and what I found in a way that was least expected.

My darling Mia, though I tried to keep it close to the chest, knew I suffered gravely at the loss of Cora. She knew it steeped my helplessness in the waters of despair. She knew it was the causation of bitter memories resurfacing. The difference with Cora was that my heart had been hers in a way it had never belonged to anyone and she had expired due to something that could not have been stopped, not by anything within my power.

I purchased the shop she had worked so diligently to make hers, stopping on occasion to run my hands through the garments she had tailored so exquisitely, pricking the tip of my finger on the needle she’d last handled - anything I could to feel closer to the love I’d lost.

Had I been left on my own, I’m quite sure I would have found myself drowned and in some figment of actual reality.  Mia would not allow that. Though she did not press on me attending the usual litany of parties, it was on a night in late November she invited me to one of a different ilk. Expectation was dismissed when she suggested I dress in all black attire and noted that likely wouldn’t want to see what she wore under her own overcoat. Her makeup was darker, heavy across her lids and her demeanor serious as we made our way to this event.

It was fashioned at its entry much in the way of a Speakeasy: nondescript and password required. On the other side of the door, however, the atmosphere was immediately and noticeably something different. The lighting was nearly nil, inky darkness broken only by a scarce amount of candles turned low. The scent in the air was a potent mix of beeswax, liquor and a hint of sex, my curiosity was promptly engaged. Mia pressed a kiss to my cheek and slipped away. We would meet just before sunrise and take our leave.

I was quick to discover that this was not at all about revelry of the standard kind of the age. The alcohol was limited to one serving each hour, the costs adjusted so that they still might turn a profit, I assumed, and the maximum set for quite a different reason… control.

With vodka in hand, I begin my mission to uncover what I had stepped into.  Women were dressed in corsets and stockings - only corsets and stockings - and the men were relieved of much external clothing as well. There were various states of bondage and bodies configured like puzzles.

Where had Mia taken me and what exactly had brought her here? I growled at the thought before shaking it away. I could not entertain theories about my sister in this atmosphere.

I wandered and waited for something to appeal to my attention span and the scene that revealed itself as earning the right caught me off guard. Two men, one standing and gripping what looked to be a riding crop, the other without clothing, kneeled before him. I watched as the worn leather of the crop circled the naked male’s lips, apparently a silent signal for him to open his mouth wide. Watching this excited me, my pulse quickened, my canines throbbed and as the man in the dominant position clutched the back of the other’s head and pressed his hard length between his lips, I was seduced by the image.

I wanted to take the place of the man who held the control.

I swallowed my drink, unaware of how much of the first hour had passed, my eyes affixed and unwilling to stray before the culmination of the scene had been realized.

I knew the moment the man caught me watching, though he waited until he had climaxed to crook his finger my way. I raised my own hand, shaking my finger slowly back at him, indicating I wasn’t wishing to be under his charge. He then told the one still on his knees not to move before coming over, and slammed me into the frame of the door with his body, pressing his chest to mine. Though my reflexes were well intact, I didn’t stop him when he kissed me, his stubble rough and welcomed against my mouth, his breath laced with bourbon.

Before he could escape with the victory of his aggression, I disarmed him and flipped our positions, dragging the crop up his leg, a devilish gleam in my narrowed eyes as I met his. I nipped at his earlobe before delivering a warning in his ear, making it plain that nobody controlled me. I was amazed with the quickness I took up this manner, as if I was not a novice but experienced.

Everything engaged in that moment; what I was seeking, what I needed to survive my heartache, and certain other predispositions. It tasted of my history, the one which I shared with Illarian and was colored by the more recent shades of grief.

In theory, though not practice, that was the night I first became what is modernly known as a Dom.

My heart had been sealed off and for decades I was satisfied by my dominant dalliances with male and female submissives alike, though the women were much less in number and could bear no resemblance to my love. There was never an expectation of a traditional relationship, which suited me as my heart would forever belong to another. Nothing had ever compared to the feelings captured during the short time I shared with my Cora.

It was some time in the late nineties the lifestyle I had so chosen began to tarnish of its allure. Though there were many who understood the roots of traditional BDSM, so many, too many participated in the manner one would with a fad. It was no longer so fulfilling, though I didn’t abandon it all together, I became much more picky and process of meeting someone adherent to my old school ways was much more arduous.

It was around this time of metamorphosis I found myself making a hairpin turn.

I felt ancient in my bones, my soul feeling the weight of times gone by, my seriousness set. I wanted to grow… I desired evolution within my own character, how static I had become.

Through a course of combing the classifieds and participating in in depth personality assessments via quizzes, you can imagine my laugh when it was indicated I would work well with children. At first I rejected the notion. At first I blamed the tests I had chosen. But again and again, no matter the creator or specialty of the pyscho-whatever responsible for the content, the results pointed like a compass in the same direction.

This was how I found myself in the surprising career of a nanny, or as more current colloquialisms have produced, a manny.  Before I could embrace the new direction, I went through the process of altering my identity, as was called for every few decades as not to raise suspicions. This is when I changed from Mikhail to Kai, dropping the name rooted in Russian history to something more fitting of the times with a few dismissed letters.

The first of the families who employed me had been of a vampir bloodline. Through word of mouth I had discovered their needs and it made it easier having to provide no explanation for my limitations.

Rearing children and caring for them was a warmer control than my other variety, and the separation from that lifestyle was refreshing. I learned from the children, and lived vicariously through their growth and wide eyes. They brought a lightness to my spirit I hadn’t had since… Cora. Though there was danger in the door this opened, time enough had passed that it transpired without my permission.

Their challenge and defiance often made me laugh, but was never to be taken lightly. Children were for certain headstrong more often than not, and every season of change they went through forced me to expand and adapt. For as much as I may have taught them, they in return educated me.  

In quiet times, when I let my mind seep into the past, I’d take out the ring, the one that would have sat so perfectly on Cora’s dainty left ring finger.  I imagined the life we never got to share… the children we would have had, how I would have attended her every whim and desire with a resolute passion.

Though the imagined memories were as fractured as the reflections of light the ruby ring cast on the walls, there was an undeniable beauty in allowing myself the experience. Though I’d never be able to touch them, there was still a way to behold them.

[starsgivemehp]

Red’s lesson on skeleton anatomy (and a bit of science talk, and scar talk from Boss)

A discord semi-rp with @pyrocicle

"technically you explained it right but at the same time you explained it all wrong."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"academia has a tendency to use jargon as a method of gatekeeping, if it can be explained in simpler terms there's no reason - beyond legitimate technical explanations - that it shouldn't be."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"it can be simple and not... like that."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

Evil giggling. "I'm sorry are you offended I called it 'brainmeats'?"

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"yes.""not only that tho."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

hysterical giggling.

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"shut up it's gross"

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

WHEEZE-CACKLING.

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"besides the brain is made up of grey matter not meat"

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"... oh right you've never heard of head cheese."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"....i'm going to pointedly not ask you"

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"fair."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"ok listen"

"there's a better and just as effective way of explaining what you just explained"

"watch."

"or listen, rather"

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

Chinhands!

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

“well fer starters, y’are slower. before ya could move at the speed of magic, now yer slowed down t’the speed of thought an’ there’s a pretty significant delay between the two. there’s a minimum two-part delay. yer actually processing shit after it happens - basically, ya know how I’ll see an attack comin’ but still can’t get out of the way in time? that’s because I gotta see it an’ there’s a processing delay because the brainmeats want to process sound and vision at the same time but sound travels slower than sight, then I have to figure out what to do, and only then can I actually move out of the way.”

vs.

"all of the magic in one body is the same. it's spread out but it's one piece. all of the nerves in a human body branch out. the sensations nerves receive need to travel to the brain to be processed, while the sensations magic receives is automatically processed. for example. magic can see and hear an incoming attack at the same time, and the correct part of the magic moves in response. nerves see and hear an incoming attack separately, relay the information to the brain, and then the brain can tell the correct body part to move. the delay is small but noticeable, and it gets humans killed.  hence, an attack that you or i can dodge easily is deadly to dove if she's not completely focused on fighting."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"see that relies on knowledge I don't have."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"it's basically the same thing it just uses more formal wording"

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"it also relies on knowing how magic in the body actually works, which I just knew I have a delay and y'all don't."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"...eh, i guess that's fair"

"time for a lesson in skeleton anatomy, dove"

-sits down-

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

Dove: !!!!! -gets out the notebook!-

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

-holds up his right arm-

"watch this"

-pulls off his right arm at the elbow joint-

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

-spittake-

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"hehehehe"

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"what the actual FUCK"

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"doesn't hurt me one bit"

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"augh that's gross!" -now SHE'S covering her eyes-

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"oh my god it's not even bleeding marrow, stop covering your eyes. this is important."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"hell no that's disgusting!"

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"the bones are completely intact"

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"and things that should be attached are not!"

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"but what's the only thing attaching them?"

"i don't have nerves or flesh"

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"magic?" -still not looking. guess he knows how to revenge squick her now-

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"yes, exactly. the only thing holding the parts of my body together is magic. now, since i've taken off this arm, the magic in it is stagnant. it can't move on its own."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"okay."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"but since it is still magic, it can still hurt. if i were to- ow."

-bends one of the broken fingers as he speaks-

"see? well no you can't 'cause you ain't looking."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"and now I'm not gonna oh dear gods"

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"pfft. anyway. it can still hurt. but it can't move on its own. so, uh, clearly, taking off parts of my body ain't somethin' i want to be doing anytime anywhere. but this demonstrates perfectly the difference between a human nervous system and a monster magic system."

"i stopped hurting it, seriously open your eyes now. for like, five seconds."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"if you make me regret this you're gonna have to clean up the results." -peeks-

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"watch." -he simply moves the arm back to its place, then lets go. it's connected again and he waves with the hand- "reattachment is simple, painless, and instantaneous. magic starts flowing again without any extra prompting."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

-she still looks kind of green but at least she isn't making a beeline for the trashcan-

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"not that bad, honestly. the point of that was to demonstrate how flexible and smart the magic is that makes up our bodies. it can't rip or tear unless the actual bone is damaged. even that can be healed, with green magic. my entire body is a vessel for my magic. i don't have a central processing center like humans do in their heads. this would work with literally any part of my body if i'm careful enough in doing so - though i don't do so 'cause what's the point? and without that central processing center, all of my magic moves exactly how it needs to with minimal processing time. all, if any, processing is done through the soul. due to the placement of one's soul, it's often compared to the human heart, but it functions similar to a brain, as well. our emotions and reactions stem from our soul. does that make sense?"

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"yeah, that makes sense. explains why everything feels numb when my soul gets yanked out, too. great now I'm wondering if there's an even bigger processing delay because of that..."

[I mean given the soul is 'the culmination of your entire being'...]

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"probably. ok. 'but red,' you might say, 'why doesn't ecto slow a skeleton down?' and to that i say,... well it does, but only as much as it weighs. and ecto is far lighter than flesh."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"... huh."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"why is that? because ecto is also made of magic. it's just a slightly more solid magic, hence it weighs something, unlike the magic in the rest of my body. i only weigh as much as my bones. manifesting ecto ups my weight."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

Well now she's taking notes again, and if he looks carefully he can spot a... doodle of him popping his arm off. Apparently it bothers her less in art? "that makes sense I suppose."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

[8'D looking at disection diagrams didn't bother her but the minute she had to actually touch the fetal pig she noped the fuck out]

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"makes perfect sense. of course, babies can't control it like i can. if seeing my arm pop off squicked you out, never hold a skeleton newborn."

"their magic isn't smart enough to keep itself connected properly. skeleton babies need their parents's magic to assist theirs in holding their bodies together."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"... joy."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"here's another interesting piece of information for you! and far less squicky."

"the nature of how our magic works compared to human magic is why monster children get sick and adults don't."

"for monsters, childhood illness is usually just a fever and weakness. so why a fever, of all things? skeletons regulate their temperature so easily. well, to answer, consider this. magic is energy, right? what's energy made out of? heat. therefore magic is also made out of heat. this is why skeletons don't get cold. our bones are warm due to the magic flowing in them."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"oooh. makes sense."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"so when a monster child develops a fever, the reason why is an excess of magic in their body."

"children can't control and guide their magic. too much of it builds up, and they essentially get overstuffed with it."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"....ooooh, kind of like what happens when I eat too much at once?"

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"yes, sort of. except this is inevitable for all children, whereas that is caused by the action of overeating."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"makes sense."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"now then. take boss. he got sick very often as a child."

Boss: "..."

"whereas i did not get sick very often as a child. this is because due to... reasons... i had a far better handle on my magic from a younger age. while my body is weaker and smaller, my magical control was better honed. boss's body may have been far stronger and far bigger, but he wasn't as skilled at channeling and directing his magic, so it overflowed often.

("'reasons' being 'experimentation')

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

“if it makes ya feel better, I'm frankly amazed my sinuses haven't tried to knock me out yet. I usually get miserably sick at least once a season."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"...THANKS, I GUESS..."

"heh. well, he grew out of it, like all children do. and now when it comes to green magic, he has a far better handle than me, not to mention more magical and physical stamina. but anyway, the reason why i brought it up is because of that inherent nature of magic. monsters are made of magic. we learn how to suppress it enough to function properly. humans, on the other hand, have reserves of magic within them and are made of other things. flesh, nerves, chemicals, water. it's so difficult for you, dove, to use simple magic we could use as children, because your body wasn't necessarily made for it."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"that makes sense. I'm coming at it from the opposite direction than you guys did."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"exactly. you can be taught, just as monster children are taught how to regulate their magic. it's just... well, you weren't. but now you can be! i've no doubt by the time we reach the castle, you'll be able to use far more of your magic in a far more cost-efficient way."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"it's actually kind of interesting because, well, ya know my little fire trick? I used to do that as a kid with no control over it. and did have to learn how to control that."

"but I'm sure you're right!" Big smile.

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"well, i'm not surprised by that. but magic certainly never induced physical body issues."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"yeaaaah." nod nod. "I'm pretty sure that's just my shit genetics."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"probably. and bad luck."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"that too, yeah."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"boy do i know the feeling."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

nodnod. "one'a my nicknames growing up was 'accident waiting to happen'. like, this scar?" She points at the longer one on her right arm, "is from when I fell off of a dresser and we still don't know what I cut it on but it went down to the bone."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"holy shit. accident child."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

She squirms around and pulls up her pant leg, showing off the deep, j-shaped dent-scar on her right shin. "this one, I was jumping on some rocks, slipped, and cut right down to the bone again."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"damn."

"OH, WE'RE COMPARING SCARS??"

"boss no don't start."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

Left sock is pulled down. "surgical scar from where I broke this ankle. dislocated everything below the knee and snapped it right on the growth plate. I've still got a screw in it!" they're comparing scars.

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"so that's why you sometimes just-"

"WOW. LOOK AT THIS ONE!"

"boss no-"

"SHUT UP I LISTENED TO YOUR ANATOMY LESSON. LOOK!" -points to the giant crack on the top of his head- "I GOT THIS FIGHTING A COUPLE OF AARONS!"

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

Giggling. She shifts to kneeling so she can get a better look. "niiiice. I cracked my head on a marble windowsill as a kid but you can't see the scar because of my hair."

"also yeah that's why sometimes it just gives out."

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"THAT'S TOO BAD! NOW THIS ONE." -points to the crack on his left femur- "BEAR MONSTER AND EAGLE! THE EAGLE CLAWED ME GOOD WITH ITS TALONS BUT I STILL WON WITH ONLY ONE HAND!"

"that sucks dove."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"oooooh. only one hand? damn!" High five?

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

-boss high fives her with a smirk-

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"wanna hear something cool? when my ankle isn't randomly rolling, I've actually got good enough balance to walk along a guard rail in flip flops"

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"THAT SOUNDS PRETTY COOL! NO WONDER YOU CAN DANCE."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"that and knowing how to fall, yep!"

GetMcDunkedOn-07/06/2017

"SO THE HUMAN BODY CAN STILL DO REMARKABLE THINGS! JUST... NOT AS REMARKABLE."

grimoireCrow-07/06/2017

"... I dunno, being able to recover from a heart transplant is pretty damn remarkable?"

#out of skeleton #headcanons #big smile (dove) #columba (red and dove) #still love him (boss) #tw: gore #ish??? #whatever I'll tag it that way anyway

[annandrade1995]

Cat Spray 2k Jaw-Dropping Diy Ideas

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In order to cure cat bad breath can be transmitted through the fur and dander itself is not right in front of the cat.For most cats, this urge is still a problem, switch back to Part 3 of Litter Box Problems from a variety of health hazards including flea and tick treatments on the infected skin and hair loss.You have to obey in order to invite your cat has some Siamese in her, but may not be able to turn more easily.They do serve a purpose in helping to control the urine.Do not rub the shampoo is highly recommended to spray even if you spot your cat might create!

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Out Cat Spray Urine Stain Odor Remover

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Cat Spray Kucing

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#Cat Spray 2k Jaw-Dropping Diy Ideas #Cat Urine Perfume

[celticnoise]

Gary Ralston’s piece on Sevco and on the confidence Alex Rae feels for the new campaign is a piece that is one of two things; it is either delusional or it is deeply dishonest. Frankly, I don’t care which of the two it is. There is barely a word in it which doesn’t insult the intelligence of us all.

I reckon though it is perfectly pitched for the Neanderthal target audience, those followers of Sevco who believe every bit of feel-good boloney they read and always have.

Still, today’s is such a stretch that you wonder how even the dumbest amongst them could swallow it.

With season ticket sales still 10,000 down on last year, with the global health crisis having already taken a chunk of home gate money and other income from the last campaign, with even the promise of European football unable to deliver big crowds in the coming season, Sevco is a club where all inside the walls must know they are facing tough choices.

It is still my considered opinion that they will not survive the season intact, and that they are the club who are most likely to have been lobbying the SPFL and the SFA to abolish the footballing penalties for doing so, as they hide behind the global health emergency.

I cannot write this enough times; Sevco was in a perilous state before this disaster struck. They were £10 million short of their cash to finish the last campaign, even before those additional home games were swept off the table. It is tempting to suggest that the wage deferrals actually saved them in this regard. It’s also possible that other major bills went unpaid and that they were able to hide behind the global health emergency to avoid doing so.

We have no idea. Sevco does not have a legal requirement to open the books up in the way Celtic does because they are not a stock market listed company; this was a very deliberate strategy on the part of King, when he took over. The source of much of the club’s finances has always been opaque. Do not expect anyone in the media to dig into them.

Sevco was last supposed to submit six monthly unaudited figures in February; this is June.

They are four months behind on that, and no-one should now expect to see them published.

What was in those figures that was so bad that they don’t even want their own supporters to know about it?

The next time we’ll know for sure will be in October when the annuals come out.

But nobody who’s crunched the numbers realistically expects that this will get that far

Yet to read Gary Ralston today not only are things good, but they have never looked better.

To write something like that requires that you deny reality completely.

Not one club anywhere in Europe is saying that. Not one.

Some might be well placed to survive this, but at not one club does anyone think things are better than this time last year.

Nowhere except Ibrox, who’s club sat atop a list of the 200 biggest clubs in Europe as by far the one with the greatest exposure to financial peril.

Celtic might have the biggest wage bill in the country, but our wages to earnings ratio is safely below the danger zone.

Sevco’s is above the red line.

Nobody disputes that. Yet at Sevco they wear the veneer of calm.

And the media swallows this, or at least most of them do. There are a handful of dissenting voices, but they are usually drowned out by the howling mob. Gary Ralston of The Record is not going to hear a word of doubt; to him, everything’s just peachy.

How peachy? He thinks the club is on the verge of putting a major infrastructure project in place, to add 6000 seats to the ground.

Yes, you read that correctly; he thinks, in spite of being skint, that Sevco is going to add 6000 seats to Ibrox at a momentous cost.

Where’s the money coming from? He has a theory there too.

“The Ibrox club have announced bumper season ticket sales in excess of 32,000, despite the economic uncertainty … Sales are up on the same stage as last season and are well on target to equal the record number of 47,000 recorded in the last campaign. (They) are currently in consultation over plans to lower the pitch and add another 6,000 seats – and with up to 16,000 on the waiting list via new membership scheme MyGers, it could soon be a goer.”

Dear God. I mean … really. First up, the MyGers scheme costs £50 to join. The last time I counted it, 16,000 members would raise a mere £800,000. And it’s not a waiting list for season tickets either; I expected someone so intimately familiar with their club to know that.

As if that ridiculous assertion wasn’t dumb enough for you, try this one.

“Former midfielder Rae admits life off the pitch has rarely looked rosier for Rangers since their descent into the financial abyss in 2012.”

Like I said, they are the only club in the world where things are “rosier” now than they’ve been over the last eight or nine years. Not one other football institution on the planet would choose right now to trumpet as the moment when they are riding highest.

Rae himself fully embraces the theory of “fairies at the bottom of the garden.”

“It’s going in the right direction, with the new Castore deal in place, improved merchandising and plans to transform the areas around the ground ahead of the 150th anniversary celebrations in 2022. I’d love to see the new seats added, either in the corners of the stadium or by lowering the pitch, because there’s certainly a demand.”

And I’d like to go out on a date with Sophie Turner; let’s see how gets lucky first.

The Castore deal has been trumpeted, of course, although not one detail of it has ever been published. We’re told it is a big one, but the company is small, its most profitable year didn’t come close to enabling them to pay a big advance, whatever manufacturing capacity they were counting on will have taken a mammoth hit from the crisis we’re in …. and who even knows whether Ashley is still on the scene? Would you bet on his having departed gracefully?

I laugh at this 150-year anniversary nonsense as well; the fantasy of doing major work on the stadium before then – they’d have to start this year or early next – is surely a delusion of epic proportions. Where’s the funding for that coming from? A magic money tree?

Something has to give over there; it’s just as simple as that. This is a club that has needed directors loans just to keep on the lights for the past few seasons, and here we are in a global shutdown and we’re being told that things are just fine.

It does not add up, not at all, not even close.

Instead of questioning it, the media here has swallowed it whole.

Just when you think you couldn’t have more contempt for them.

The Daily Record really is amazing.

As Scottish football goes through the current crisis it is important to keep up with developments and the key issues. We are determined to do so, and to keep you informed as well. Please subscribe to the blog.

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[atomickrakatoa]

Episode 6 - "It is then that I realize all those years of buying him chicken nuggets has paid off." - Trixie

Colin

OMG NO NOT NIC WHY Literally the only person I actually trusted from the original villains tribe and he's gone fuck. Now I gotta find new allies. I'm gonna start working on Liana more and also talk more to Bryce. He's really nice and we bonded during immunity. I also am gonna keep my ties to the giant Nicholas/Dana/Trixie/blah/blah/blah premade just to keep myself safe. I don't want to go far with them by any means but they're good to keep around because they will keep me safe as long as they can I think. Also fuck Survivor Jeopardy. I love jeopardy but fuck survivor. That is all. Goodnight. 

Bryan

Ok so that vote went perfectly! I didn’t have to use my idol. There were no votes cast against me as well! Poor Willa is gonna wake up and think wtf happened. Trixie is now a close ally to me and Christian as well! I’m still keeping my eye on her tho. She is a very good player so I will not be letting my guard down. Hopefully our tribe will win immunity tho! 

VL DR: tribal jeopardy is darksided and that is the truth and nothing but the truth 

QuilLynn

I villain just got taken out on a tribe with minority heroes, woo! It gives me hope for me and Bryce if we ever have to face a tribal with our tribe. I'm excited for jeopardy, but worried that if I play and lose it for my team (big possibility) I could be in danger, so I might not volunteer to play, but I'm excited to watch either way, I'm sure it's going to be a great comp! 

Colin

I haven't found anything useful since I found that senja idol that one time BUT! Your fave gay just found a cute, fashionable, one-of-a-kind accessory! I found this cute ass shell in the east lagoon and I'm gonna wear it as a necklace for the rest the season uwu. It does nothing but look cute. Kinda like me. yeah that just sums up how exciting my game has been the past few rounds. bye.

Nicholas

quillynn von ghina is the WORST DRAG QUEEN EVER!!!

**Senja and Malam win immunity**

Bryan

Well that sure was something huh? Anyways. AAAAHHH THESE LAGOON SEARCHES ARE FINALLY MAKING SENSE! I FIGURED OUT THE ROCKS! I just hope I’m right about the loud noise being the mountain and not something else and having to search for that then. 

Bryce

Losing immunity is always rough but we gave it our best shot! Somehow I think Zachary Rae should go home :/ !! But I think my current plan is to work with Quillynn and Nicholas and just survive this round. Me and Quillynn are basically trying to find anyone to be a 3rd and give us majority lol so I hope it will pay off. Ive barely spoken to anyone tho so its awk I didnt even message Liana until yesterday. But I feel confident in surviving a little bit I guess

QuilLynn

So we ended up losing immunity and lbr it was my terrible jeopardy skills that caused that so um yikes!! I think i'm definitely in danger of going home, I'm one of two heroes and I lost the challenge for our tribe also, have never messaged Liana yet so.. thats not good! Nicholas is my friend, but he's also a villain and a snake so putting faith in him to vote to keep me? not a cute look! Also I love Bryce, but I can see him voting me out just to save himself, I mean I hope he wouldn't do it, but I understand that he potentially could. I know I'm going to feel awful if I go home this round and I just really hope that doesn't happen.

Chips

Alright, so we had an auction where I was hoping to win Chips and Dip because it is a reference to my name. And that's cute - also they can be tasty depending on the kind of dip. I like to eat salsa or cheese dip. Not really so much guacamole because usually they mix it with onions and I have super negative reactions to onion like getting migraines and tossing my cookies. They wouldn't let up in bidding all of their money on the chips and dip so I ended up with running shoes instead. I am glad to replace my shoes with the one that were given to me by production because they were getting raggedy with me running around the island looking for stuff... even though I never do. They're raggedy anyway. So the auction was also a trick of sorts where they assigned the items you could win to tribes so that whatever you won equaled a new tribe for a swap. And so I got swapped onto the tribe that I was already inhabiting - making me solidly the role of a hero^2. https://78.media.tumblr.com/7d1a5d1c5e57899b572bc46a1f20d7ce/tumblr_ohi0x1vidX1vn1j1jo3_250.gif Swapping onto my tribe are Zach and Dana! And staying with me are Jay and Kelsey. Here's the rundown of how I feel about this - I'd like to work with Zach or Dana but they are likely already working together and if they weren't then this swap will make it more likely in that they are two villains amongst three heroes. I need to decide whether to try and scoop them up with Jay or Kelsey or to join with Jay and Kelsey in voting one of them off. I'm not sure at the moment which direction I want to go so I'm just socializing with everyone and keeping my options open. https://m.popkey.co/4bc560/QLJpy_s-200x150.gif So the next challenge was the stay up forever challenge where you shoot darts at people and me and Zach were the last standing of our tribe! Which I think hopefully makes me look like a good contributor and worth working in the game with? I dunno - I hope that's true... at any rate we didn't lose and the other tribe did with their player getting bored/tired/accepting their fate. That player was Nic and he got voted out at the following tribal council so it's kind of an awful position for him to be in. I mean, being the last around whenever no one else was there to pull it out for him! Anyway... that's all I have to say about that, because that's all there is. http://31.media.tumblr.com/d5a54fcf6460728f38b397226b628289/tumblr_mmd9ltjQs11r6xbv8o1_250.gif --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Next round we have to play Jeopardy and then Logan did this thing where he scheduled it at times where I can't play so I get to do the fun thing where I can't show up and can't bond with all of my new friends... which is okay, but also sad. We won immunity by blowing the other teams out of the water which is surprising because I swear Jeopardy is usually very close... Hm? At any rate! I love immunity so I don't have to worry about who to vote out! https://media.giphy.com/media/4bWWKmUnn5E4/giphy.gif Guess I need to go back to socializing. Or also search since I still need to use my extra run with my shoes.

Willa

If we lose immunity and Trixie votes me off I've been a victim of cyber bullying 

Colin

ok so obv us going to tribal isn't.... ideal.... but Survivor is about adaptability!!! I can make it work. I got a plan. So I think on my tribe I like Bryce the most. I get good vibes from him, he has Dua Lipa as a pfp, whats not to like. SO I wanna set an alliance type thing with him into motion. I think the obvious plan on our tribe is going to be voting out Liana. But I don't wanna do that. She was close to Nic, I was close to Nic, and she makes an excellent goat. Merge is probably in the next 2 or 3 rounds, and having another number around is essential. That leaves two potential targets for me. Quil and Nicholas. This is gonna sound crazy but hear me out. They're part of the huge premade that I mention all the time, and every member of that premade is still in. And merge is comin' soon!! That's gonna be a nearly unstoppable force if it's still intact during the merge. It's too late in the game to take out easy targets. We gotta think bigger!! I'll update y'all as soon as I can xoxo

Later...

okay so y'all know how I can never keep my god damn mouth shut right? WELL THAT JUST ACTUALLY WORKED OUT FOR ME FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. I was talking to Quil about the vote and then??? he brings up the possibility of voting out Nich??? and bitch im SHOOK. So I start talking to him  and it turns out he doesn't wanna be associated with that friend group at all and he is 100% down for tearing down the premade. WHEW, this is honestly perfect. It's a backup in case Bryce isn't on board, and if leaves less room for bad blood for when Nicholas is taken out tonight. I'm so so so happy this worked out whew. That's one less premade member for when the merge hits, and one more ally for me. I really respect Quil for being able to play on his own, and I feel like after just that small conversation I trust him a million percent. Tonight is gonna be fun ladies!

Zach

yeah i won immunity.. that's right. all me. im also bitter that my idol i found today was not for my tribe. wtf??? rude! leaving me to DIE WITHOUT TWO IDOLS? what kind of sorcery. anyway i gave it to trixie for obvious reasons, and ideally idk what to do now. i dont trust dana.

Trixie

Trixie’s Almost-Tragic Tribal Council: So once we swapped, I suggested to nic that since villains have majority we should make an alliance, and nic set up a group with willa and i. Then, we lost the challenge and everything went to YIKES.

Willa and nic were saying to vote christian, which was fine by me, except I had a sneaking suspicion that nic was going to flip with the heroes and take me out. I went to willa and he didn’t seem to care/believe me: cue my freakout. I called bryan and he confirmed that nic had went to him with everything, and that I was the target because I had “friends on the other tribes”. 

So, I knew immediately I had to call the pest control because we got ourselves a snake problem! I talked to christian and said that nic would be the better vote because he’s super shady, and she agreed. I also dropped some stuff that hopefully she would tell bryan cus I knew they were aligned, like how much i trust him, and how nic is just trying to play both sides.

Moral of the story: anybody with the name and or variant of “nic” is a snake. Bye.

Later...

So i’ve been looking for this idol for DAYS. I got chased by a beastly komodo dragon that kind of looked like dana, except a lot cuter and less flaky scaly skin. Anyway, I was really feeling this idol search desperation last tribal but I managed to flip the target from me to nic. But I almost exhausted all possible searches in the east lagoon and then suddenly, I get a message.

A message from the heavenly gods up in the clouds. I remember it clearly: the sun is a beautiful shining rae, the fluffy white clouds part to reveal an angel descending from the skies, holding the most magical item in the world. I am on the ground, a meekly dumb furby staring up stupidly to the skies, watching this divine being. He gifts me an idol and I know now that the angel is zachary rae. It is then that I realize all those years of buying him chicken nuggets has paid off. Thanks filmy lav you xx.

Kelsey

Well good golly Miss Molly, safety first~! It feels great to have immunity once again on this island. Top ten is slowly and slowly becoming more and more real and...it just...I can't believe I'm so close! Back in the reunion of my old season, I remember Jackson saying he underestimated me and I remember telling him to BUG OFF, but now...now, if this keeps up, I may be a true contender to snatch the crown~! I just have to keep PRAYING that these challenges will rely on those with strong physical acumen because if there are ever one on one face offs again, I'm not too sure that can take me to the end. In terms of voting off hookers, I...am still rather nervous about going to a tribal. I still haven't been able to get Chips and Jay in the same room as each other and time's running short because I can just FEEL we're going to have to vote someone eventually. I could always try and throw my lot with Dana and Zachary, but who's to say those two are on good terms? Even more so, what if there's one of each tribe speaking with another? It would be entirely and utterly scary and...I don't even know where to begin in terms of sifting out who is who. I just hope i make it further, goodness KNOWS I deserve it! And THAT'S all there is to it~! Stream Reputation on Spotify Now! -Kelsey V Mikaelson #TeamIBelieveInYall #TeamBEES

Christian

Thank god trixie won the 5% challenge advantage, because I really wasn't looking forward going to tribal again. I think her and I are pretty solid. So if we did have to attend another tribal, her, Bryan, and I would vote Willa out. I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me lol, unless I'm reading it wrong. 

Liana

It took too long to get on a tribe with Chris and I'm tired so I'm probably getting voted out because I'd rather sleep than talk to strangers.

Jay

So Dana and I straight up crush Jeopardy lol we got 3k and the others got 600. Not to brag but im kinda awesome at trivia :)

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