#its so hard all the time and im so tired

[opens-up-4-nobody]

hey if youre looking for requests, i would love a little zo/san ! or if youre feeling something more specific, them being smitten for the other when the other isnt looking

regardless i love your art! manifesting you 1000 cozy evenings

:-]

#when my brain is being better i wanna draw them in full color. but it takes so much time lol #i wove them so much tho. its hard to draw besotted looks tho lol. all i could think was zoro being a fucking idiot and sanji losing his mind #zoro being a moron is my fave. but im too tired for that rn lol #sanji #roronoa zoro #zosan #sanzo #one piece

[todayisafridaynight]

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #masato arakawa #ryo aoki #snap sketches #AH jumpscare #i aint drawn aoki or masato (funny as hell i have to distinguish) in forever BYYYYYEE i miss him. i want him to be even more dead #my favorite genre of masato art is aoki killnig him so its my turn to do that. kinda. in spirit #Understandably its always aoki as the aggressor but i wanted to ask myself Can I Flip It #evidently aoki wasnt happy even with all of his power and all.. it makes me wonder how much his self hatred exists in aoki #A LOT EVIDENTLY LMAOOO but im having issues trying to articulate what i mean #aoki is very much a persona Fake Through And Through so sometimes i wonder if aoki ever gets tired of having to act all the time #he's on edge all the time and constantly trying to figure out how to use people instead of just. chilling LMAO GROW UP #he refuses to let himself be genuine and vulnerable with others yet at the same time he wants the love that comes with that #sure his new persona gives him the life he wanted but its gotta be wild to think 'people only like me for what i can do for them' #its hard to accurately describe what i was thinking while drawing these i just know i like rattling masato in a can #there's just so many layers to him it makes my brain itch SOOOO bad #having the love and sincerity he said he always wanted but not being able to see it because of his own self hatred... wild... #relatable... im gonna throw up... he still sucks tho lol...... #ok bye im gonna contemplate drawing something moody cause i guess it's a moody sunday idk sue me

[smolspoopy]

Have some doodles I did today, trying to build back up the motivation to draw 👉👈 we trying

#spoopydoodles #undertale #sans #sans undertale #chara #frisk undertale #chara undertale #frisk #doodle #sketch #self insert #sans the skeleton #drawing has just been hard to do lately #like motivation wise #I want to get back to it im just so tired all the time so its rough #but doodles are better then nothing

[puppyeared]

man

#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant #but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years #like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact #but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer #for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated #motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year #also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when #ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread #im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover #but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that #the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse #im so tired. im so tired #i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place #ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER #oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!! #and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously #vent #my art #myart #doodles #covid 19

[emoreooo]

i love you, i love you, i love you

#FINALLY i worked so hard on this my body hurts sm #ive been wanting to do ship art with this song for YEARS and im so happy its sunkel #i wanted to show how theyve loved each other since the first time they met. and through all the way til they get to this point #and they love each other all the same #manifesting this doesnt flop im SO tired im gonna be resting for a week #<- says guy who likely will drop another piece in a few days #omori kel #omori sunny #kel omori #sunny omori #sunkel #omori #omori sunkel #omori fanart #fanart #my art #oh also the song is pink in the night by mitski :)

[spearxwind]

I have to figure out a way of getting more interest in my oc stuff without needing to draw as much because I dont have the time or energy to draw as much as I would like, which includes a lot of concepts and/or scenes that are in my head only but can't commit to drawing, but it feels like most people are only interested in visual stuff as opposed to just written stuff (and for good reason, visuals are flashy and all!) It just makes me a little sad that I cant draw and share everything Id like to show, and what I can do most is talk about it, but that barely ever gets responses unfortunately

#in general though its hard to keep an online presence recently im so tired from everything all i wanna do is play videogame or watch youtube #and I dont have that much time to even think abt ocs cause of irl stuff ^^; case in point- ive been struggling with CD a LOT #for many reasons. so i have been focusing on HR instead bc oughgh i love it sm. but even so I have trouble finding time to just #THINK about it?? its so wack. like just thinking abt it takes time!! #thunderclap #idk man kjdffdk this is so weird i dont like being in this weird transitory period of my life i want this to be done #a lot of the ppl i spent time with online are also incredibly offline lately as well so i dont have as much of a reason to be online myself #everyones busy everything changes. very strange feeling

[madame-mongoose]

why is it so hard to be happy

#i should be happy #it should be so easy #so many good things happen to me #i have good friends #a loving partner #people i care about #i have so much #and yet i feel so hollow #all the time #im so tired. its so hard to fight #i just dont know what to do #monnie rambles

[squishdraws]

whatever

#he is a creature to me #put your man honkers away youre embarrassing us all #tag time wish me luck #squishart #digital art #uhh #genshin impact #genshin childe #childe #tartaglia #slay ig . tagging makes me wish i was Dead ! #ok todays updates um #nothing is happening #im kinda tired uh slowly losing my mind also #39 childes is more than too many . time to put him down <33 #you can move tags....please tell me this is new...... #i need to develop a realistic artstyle so i can show my mind visions of the ginger . he is crazy ugly #ive tried before w <3pinterest<3 refs but its incredibly hard finding the balance between brain-accurate ugliness and palatable art #he is difficult in more ways than one (100) #been trying for YEARS to make my art good enough for public consumption #but now i realise i dont care so now i have to put the gearstick in reverse . fun ! #alright goodnight

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ough....the laughingstock In My Head... im unwell....

#its 3 am im tired cant sleep live laughingstock love- #laying in corpse position staring at my glow stars #playing through the Elaborate lore... the plot... howdy redemption arc.... #its very funny bc for this whole Plot i have.... literally everyone is aware of the Drama Unfolding #except for frank / julie / poppy #theyre just vibing and the. the rest of the town is sooooo Involved with barnaby & howdys bs #eddie is out here wingmanning both of them. sally has one sided beef with howdy. wally has unlocked the Protective emotion #home is listening to wally update it on the newest Hot Goss every night #home has very dtrong opinions that wont be heard #absolutely unprompted #oausgdhsbdjsnxms #barnaby: im so over him i swear (lying) #hard cut to howdy sobbing behind the counter with a bottle of his strongest root beer #theyre both handling the failed confession like champs!!! im Lying!!! theyre both disasters!!!!! #if i had it in my id... id write a fic.... might outline it for funsies #because ohadudhhdnfjsnxms #THERE IS NO LAUGHINGSTOCK FANFIC RN #except for the delectable delicious crumbs in Stamps by Indigopoptart gofuckingreadit #ohhhh and the scrumptious sensational crumb in the latest installment of Imaginatorofthings' fantasy au series gofuckingreadit #i reread both all every crumb all the time #i need a pickmeup? crumbles <3 #like the cinnamon crumbs on streusel... the best part.... #BUT i crave a full meal and i may have to provide for myself #i shall create the laughingstock fic i want to read in this world #if no one else will do it!!!! i will!!!! maybe. dont quote me on this <3 #oh to be a great enthusiast of a rarepair... agony and pain and yet such delicious delight #i do not recieve much but what i do get... more powerful than any mainpair (idk what the opposite of a rarepair is) creation #tis not just a treat on my table #tis the heavens opening to shine glorious rays of sunlight upon my withering crops and my cold skin... something to Bask in.... #but a full fic's not gonna happen any time soon so im gonna roll up my sleeves and do it myself

[money-and-dandellions]

continuation to this post:

Meg who unintentionally and absolutely illogically gets worried when Lester gets sick after the ghoul incident and he doesn't really understand why would she do that

until he does

#meg will fidget with literally anything and stare at him non stop #and ask him so much questions which is strange (why would she ask so much questions; why she asks him to make a stop; why she stares at hi #as if he will disappear; why she frowns so much at him? he is fine?) #so she asks him questions OR doesn't ask them at all just looking at him because he is tired and sick and how for the fuck he i— #—what if he will die? she can't lose him not again he almost died je was so pale she can't lose him again its going to he her fault— #and lester doesn't really understand why she seems so unnerved but tries so hard not to show it until he stops to yk stretch or smthng and #and practically blanks out and all he can hear is his little sister's voice why it is so small why it sounds so scared is she crying why— #why would she cry he is fine why is his cheeks wet ow that hurts and then he gets conscious and realises after a pause what had happened an #and sees meg that is so so scared and oh gods im sorry i didn't mean to scare you whats wrong why are you crying— #oh #and lester will get it after some time and try to make sure that she is okay that my dear meg is not your fault i am fine just a #a little tired and its okay shhhh #i am a sucker for when lester is sick af #the author is also sick with harsh flu is had fever (39°C) for 2 days straight but now is getting better #toa #lester papadopoulos #meg mccaffrey #sunflower siblings #love them #and they love each other #platonically

[gunstellations]

kaveh doodle

#kaveh genshin #kaveh #my art #listen...there was a time when i was younger when i was above and beyond any sort of projection #but that me is long dead and i embrace all cringe. i will project so fucking hard and this bastard is everything i could create as #a comfort character who has everything from what i am to what my default role playing ocs are so #there is nothing holding me back #we have 1 One measly glimpse of him so far but do i care? no #and im goin Thru It rn and i think i deserve to make my blorbo do the same #also i wanna fuck alhaitham so we both have a lot in common #and yeah its a shitty doodle but i am so tired man. i am so tired when will my project end

[softshuji]

eldest daughter syndrome really do be kicking my ass tbh

#i just find it like so unfair yknow #im the only one who works in myhouse and full time #but i come home and the house isnt clean and i tidy up and sort everything out and tidy the kitchen anf living room after dinner and put #my sister to bed and yk if there was no one else to do these things id understand but #i have 5 brothers all of whom are adults and they dont lift a finger #its not as if any of them work bec they dont and neither does my dad #and im so so so exhausted yk? bec not everything is my job or responsibility #and i keep blaming other things for me getting sick but yknow what maybe i just dont rest enough #and the other day i was upset bec i'd had a tough day at work and i felt unwell and i cleaned up everything after dinner and my brother #said i didnt have a right to be upset bec i “chose” this. like as if i chose to work full time nd do all the chores for a family of 9 #and it just really upsets me bec no one sees an issue with it and im so mad at my mom at rhe same time #constant therapy sessions w her bec shes mad at my dad and wants someone to vent at and then he does the same abt her and my brothers #and im so tired yknow just sososos tired bec she'll complain abt how they dont do anything but then she wont ensure they do either #its just empty complaints whereas she thrust responsibility on me when i was 9 and yet my brothers are 18+ - all but one that is and they #cant even do their own laundry bec she just..... did everything for them all the time but now is mad that they cant do anything. #like yes i know my dad is a failure of a husband and a father i expected that i'll never be a good enough daughter for him and that the onl #thing he has to say about me is that im bringing shame on our family despite everything ive done but come on #im just tired and upset #its hard not to see yourself as a robot or machine when theres little room to be anything else. #and even on a day like today when i dont feel well it never stops and i just keep doing #im sad i want a hug from my gangster bf #oh god i am sorry pls do not perceive me for this #and yk what #thats why i cant stand when people are nice to me bec all i can think of is #i havent done anything to deserve this? i should have to give something in return #or if not #theres something this person must want because why else would they be nice to me when i havent done anything for them #i cannot fathom the concept that someone just wants me because its me #its literally just not possible why would anyone fo that for me

[needylittlegirl]

theres a 99% chance we’re gonna move so i have to start packing little things now cause it makes the transition easier but i hate it i dont want to

#i know i sound like am immature little kid just pouting and stomping my foot #but i’ve had to move every two years since i was like 14 for so many different reasons #each place ive moved to just got increasingly worse so i think i have the right to pout like a 14 yr old girl #but its just dumb #if i start taking stuff down now itll make it easier to leave cause it wont feel like my space by then #its what ive always done #if i pack weeks ahead of time it just feels like im leaving a hotel or something #but right nows the hard part #im not even over my childhood home/s #i cant talk about those without crying and its been 20 years #i’d just like to stay in one place for awhile #we wont be going far cause me and my sister both have jobs right here but #its still different #im tired of seeing my stuff in boxes im tired of not feeling safe in my own space #it all just makes me so unstable cause i cant plant my roots anywhere #idk maybe its stupid #if everything goes according to plan #we’ll probably be moving a little after memorial day #and all i want to do is lock my door and refuse to let anyone do anything #im still just that little girl that was leaving her childhood bedroom and moving hours away #tbd #i didnt even get to skate today cause its raining #whatever im gonna get in bed and watch movies til i can go to sleep #if ive been bad at responding to msgs or not posting as much . this is why 👍 #any sort of change like this makes me isolate myself like crazyy

[guinevereslancelot]

job interview tomorrow 🙏

#working interview as an assistant prek teacher #i know kids are exhausting but its the only thing i have relevant experience in #and im tired of being rejected from every office job i apply to i need a job even if it pays 12 dollsrs an hour lol #anyway they'll pay for continuing education and the phone interview went really well #i think it seems like a nice place with nice people and she said she wouldn't start me at the bottom of the pay scale #so i might get more than i think #still probably not going to top sixteen an hour but its something #they called me in for prek even tho i didn't apply for that i applied for infant toddler teacher bc i have no relevant education #just lots of volunteer work with kids #but she said that one was taken and would i consider this one i didn't think i was qualified for so thats a good sign #and she seemed really nice #and the location is good its like a 17 minute drive and not too hard of a drive either #just one tricky turn #anyway #all job interviews fill me with impending doom and dread #even tho i interview pretty well i think i just never have the relevant experience to get the job lol #but this time it seems more likely #i have anotherdaycare job that literally pays twelve dollars an hour that wants to schedule an interview as well 😬 #but hopefully i get this one #the other one is closer but doesn't seem like as nice of a place to work tbh #anyway im so stressed!! #i took a sleeping pill which i may regret #i never take one before an interview bc im afraid i'll be super sleepy and tired and not want to get up and be less sharp at the interview #but then i NEVER manage to sleep the night before which i decided is worse lol #so hopefully that doesn't backfire #goodnight ❤️

[bluesidedown]

I just want to fly to Tibet and not think about character growth or the future or navigating relationships

#im so tired. and like I'll survive it but then i have to continue on and survive the next thing too. #right now im thinking about my next year and just. the rest of february and march sound just barely manageable #april and the start of may will be pretty good probably #the summer idk probably fine #but then. finishing my second degree. working. paying off loans. looking for a job i actually might sustainably want. #i cant. imagine having to do all of that. #i feel like i do so much complaining on here lately im so sorry #irl i feel like i cant complain to anyone cuz objectively im getting to do one of the coolest things imaginable #and like. im really thankful and whatever and thats what i have to project to my irl people. its just also incrediblyy hard and exhausting. #whatever its after midnight and while i feel like this a little bit most of the time sleep will help. it will all feel slightly better #in the morning

[swagging-back-to]

you can also immediately tell if theyre a faker or an enabler bc they say anything along the lines of "I'd rather 100s of fakers use medical resoirces than even 1 actually diagnosed person not get help" or "fakeclaiming is actually way more harmful than spreading misinformation and taking up resources." this goes for any single disorder but esp Dissociative ones.

they convienently forget that those hundreds of fakers ARE MAKING IT SO HUNDREDS OF ACTUAL VICTIMS GO WITHOUT HELP.

theyre making it so that HUNDREDS OF VICTIMS REFUSE TO SEEK A DIAGNOSIS BECAUSE OF THE MOCKERY YOURE MAKING OF IT.

that they make it so that HUNDREDS OF VICTIMS face even more stigma over a disorder that EVEN MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS DO NOT BELIEVE EXISTS.

****you*** are the reason this stigma exists. ****you**** are the reason resources for dissociation is so horrible and hard to find. ****you**** are the reason medical professionals dont believe we exist.

because of your entilted woe is always me bullshit.

#did fakers #actually dissociative #faking disorders #did #osdd #osdd1a #rant #vent #im so fucking sick of it #every single post abput it on here is so disingenuine and ofc all the other fakers flock to defend its 'validity' #im so fucking tired. #i just want to be normal. #i just want to be able to give people a real reason for why i am the way i am but as soon as i say anything #along the lines of 'i have severe dissociative amnesia' they drop me faster than a dead fucking fly. #do you people u derstand how hard that is? #how actually fucking hard that is #how hard it is to not have any time in the day for myself because THERE IS NO TIME IN THE DAY FOR ME. #im comsciojs for a few minutes at a f #how hard it is to know something horrible happened but having no idea what it is #or who did it . #how hard it is to not have any single person to talk to about any of this besides myself? #i feel so fucking alone. #i dont want to die bc im so scared of what will happen to someone with so mamy fucked up parrs of their brain when they die #but i want to die. #i do not want to be around you people. #i do not want to be lumped in with you people. #i genuinely actually do hate you all #and you people will always be fucking vile to me #to the people who made fun of my diagnosis right after i told you and then tried to say you yourselves all had did; #iremember you every single fucking day and i wish so much harm on you. i hope your lives are as miserable now as they were when we were 14.