#its not just comics but comics have this cult following of people who think their like the bible 'how dare you contradict it' vibe

[fullonfandomindulgence]

dimple is a great fucking character and i will fight anyone who says otherwise. specifically i will fight them by making them read this masterpiece client-crashing god-tackle effortpost about dimple

ive deliberately put off watching the telepathy arc episodes so i could finish this. i like tome So Much. you have no idea how much willpower it took. but it is done and its abt dimples like whole story and purpose and life and i think its a real good thing for you to read and enjoy

im so serious about this that I'm gonna capitalize and punctuate. My sorta thesis here is that Dimple's goals of manipulation are an expression of the basic act of choice that Mob Psycho 100 defines as living, but caring for Mob freaks him out because it distracts him from that purpose, and that contradiction and desperation to choose to live through control is tragically what ends him. Dimple is a friend. Strap in, motherfuckers, we're going for a ride.

Dimple's Goals (Dimpoals)

This is kinda an easy one.

I'm gonna be using images from the show and the comics but I'm not talking about anything past season three, episode six, so no worries anime-onlys. I describe all relevant visual info for each image, though there are also extra IDs in the alt text--I try not to repeat information.

Dimple wants to be a god, "the ultimate being in all creation," "the greatest power in the whole world," and "an object of devotion for all humanity." This dovetails with ideas about superiority and idealism in other parts of the comic but this post ain't about that. It's important that he never says what he'd actually do as a god. Like what is the power for? This comes up in his final confrontation with Mob, too.

Dimple claims that Psycho Helmet leads "people onto the right path," but the second Mob interrogates that he admits he has no plan, "no codex of any kind" from the comic. I don't think that's entirely true, though. Clearly Dimple doesn't care about ruling, because he doesn't actually know what he'd do with the power. But he does want to be revered--he wants positive attention!

Dimple's LOL cult is all about people laughing, and in this panel he says he chose that so he could gain a following without violence. Dimple's attempt with the divine tree is the same, he's trying to keep people the same besides their worship of the tree, make them feel happy in togetherness, help them "find peace at heart." I think there is a reading where making people happy is just a means to an end for Dimple. He for sure tries to kill Mob the first time they meet. But he doesn't have any logic for why he's not, like, using his powers to threaten people and demand tribute. He wants to become a god by making people feel good.

All this said--he's not gonna do it by being himself.

Identifying as evil

When Dimple meets Reigen he identifies himself as an evil spirit. Obviously this is sort of a joke. Like the idea that Mob's pet/mascot is actually an ancient malevolent ghost is pretty funny. But it's meaningful for Dimple's character too, so let's talk about what "evil" looks like. First, obviously the possession thing. How good is it that among all the people trying to manipulate Mob, one of them wants to literally control his every move? Second, here's a bunch of bad stuff Dimple did that Mob thinks about right after Teru tries to exorcise him:

Bro! She's like fourteen! (Dimple makes a lecherous comment about Tsubomi in this image.) He threatens Reigen, he tells Mob the body improvement club is a waste of his time, he straight up asks Mob if he can possess him... He's vindictive, pushy, mocking, and transparently manipulative.

Now to be fair lots of Mob Psycho characters are Like That. But there are some other things more specific to Dimple. Third, he tries to possess Ritsu, taking advantage of his fear of Mob. Fourth, again, the attempting-to-kill-Mob thing. Fifth, here's a bit from a recent side story:

My god. Dimple is terrifying in this. If you haven't read it, Uu is a little dog spirit that Reigen's been keeping around as a pet. Dimple notices that it's feeding on Reigen's energy so he gets rid of it. In these panels he waits until Reigen asks him where Uu is before telling him that he ate it. He has all these lines on his face and this expression of like hostile delight. There are creepy effects blobs behind him. He burps! He does a thing he knows will hurt Reigen and then rubs it in his face, acting like he takes pleasure in it. And finally from one of my favorite scenes in season 2:

I love love love this scene, when Mob is asked to exorcise the ghost family and he refuses. It takes the existing tropes in the story and introduces this like moral complexity and thoughtfulness, it communicates a change in stakes... "They won't have to exorcise you if the clients are dead." Again Dimple is smiling maliciously. He tries to manipulate ghost dad into attacking the college assholes, which is the one hand, for the purpose of getting him exorcised by Mob, which is the other hand. Harm in both directions. There is a third hand! We'll get to it.

But I want to summarize this section first: Dimple's default tool for dealing with adversity is manipulation. He, unlike, say, Reigen, is very comfortable looking like the bad guy, and to some extent he believes he is one. He wants to reach godhood by making people feel good, and he's going to do that not through bloodshed or by being a paragon of virtue but by using other people's flaws to control them.

The Living Spirit

Sorry, I want to do some more stuff before I get to the third hand.

I'd like to think I've been helpfully analytical up to this point, though probably not too novel. But I haven't seen anyone talk about this. Dimple is the liveliest dead guy in the comic, by a wide margin. He has multiple genuine relationships with people, he gets embarrassed, he gets happy, he fears things, he fully laughs. Sure in-canon this might be a proximity thing but in a narrative context I think it's significant that he's so much more of a character than other spirits. Here, in essentially his introduction as a significant character, he says, "I don't want to spend the rest of my life as a ghost!" There's also a great pun he makes in the Dark Horse translation when Reigen questions the existence of urban legend spirits--"Look, pal, just because you're a fake, don't disrespect the lived experience of the dead!" He thinks about living a lot.

Dimple comes back from apparent evaporation more than once, first when Mob exorcises him at the LOL meeting, second when Teru exorcises him in their first encounter. He really really wants to live.

Then there's the brief conversation between him and Reigen about the woman being stalked by what appears to be a spirit, but ends up being a neighbor astral-projecting himself. In this panel Dimple denies that spirits get horny. "It's not like we can do anything about it." He doesn't even think about like romantic love. So most importantly, canon aroace Dimple. But also Dimple believes that being a ghost reduces your existence. It's not even a possibility to do certain things, whether you want to or not. There's a tension here, Dimple craves life but knows that as-is he can't have it.

And then there's this six-page omake at the end of volume five. Please please read it if you can, it's not in the anime and it's such a good little story. When Dimple is almost exorcised by Teru, he only just manages to pull together an ant-sized form, and is rescued from being eaten by a pig ghost by a tiny human spirit called Stubble. The above image is an abandoned house in the woods, with Stubble, off-screen, monologuing, "I simply don't want to perish. I don't hold any grudge against this world. Neither do I have any dreams. Years have passed, without a clear goal." Stubble lives an extremely reduced existence, figuratively and literally. He rides around on the back of the ghost of flea, i.e., he is dependent on the echo of a thing that needs to latch onto something else to exist. He has no agency at all.

It's disconcerting, how Dimple starts at Stubble's size and slowly grows--or, reframed, Stubble slowly shrinks. Here Dimple accuses Stubble, "You died, even before your death. But I on the other hand..." Stubble gets angry. "You're dead too!" Again you should read the story, the way it concludes really blows me away.

Remember in the first episode of season three the S&S crew help the bald guy out of his funk, and at one point he says, "Am I doomed to just repeat these meaningless days until my death?" And then, soon after, "Wait, is my life already over?"

This is about the desperation of agency. Because like, Stubble is right. Dimple has been dead for a long time. His goal is ridiculous. His existence is scraps, yet he's clinging to them with everything he has. What's the point? Lay down alone among the insects, shrink and fade.

Dimple doesn't have a counterargument to Stubble. He doesn't justify "why." But the last sentence he says in the omake is, "I want to stay alive." Dimple, and by extension this omake, and if I may be so bold all of Mob Psycho 100, identifies agency with life. It's not even that life is about making choices, it's that life is literally the act of choosing. You have to choose to live. And Dimple does.

He likes control. He likes choice. He may not be alive but he chooses to live every day. Why? Because he has a purpose: he's going to become a god. And he's going to take Mob there with him.

The Third Hand

Are you good? You're like 1500 words in, feel free to take a break, drink some water.

Maybe you're starting to sense where this is heading. On the third hand, Dimple manipulates ghost dad to help Mob. He attempts to take away both of their autonomy in order to ease Mob's obvious distress. Let's talk about Dimple's evolving relationship with Mob.

I say this a third time, Dimple tries to kill Mob when they meet. Then, despite a positive spin on his initial pitch to Mob, he's pretty transparently evil about it.

These frames of the show are from that introduction, the first with Dimple surrounded in stars and bright colors saying "Let's shoot for the top of the world together," the second with Dimple thinking, face lit from below and body language full of menace, "I'll just wait for my chance to possess him." To be fair again, lots of Mob Psycho characters are Like That. Compare this to the first episode of season two: when Mob tells Dimple the story about Emi, Dimple, excited, assures him that they should keep sticking together so Dimple can help him out with these things. The animators even use the same image of Dimple with the stars and colors:

"Looks like you'll always need an advisor like me!" But this time he doesn't have the sinister turn he did when they first met. This is how Dimple keeps acting throughout season two. He helps Mob, apparently so that Mob trusts him so that in turn Mob can help him reach godhood. But he goes so far above and beyond without any malice: he keeps Banshomaru safe, he possesses one of the high school kids bullying Mob, he eats the curse off Reigen's back, he tries to defend Mob against fucking Toichiro.

Here's a great couple panels: after Dimple explains the deal with urban legends becoming real, he reiterates that he wants to be a god. Then Mob asks Dimple to "make sure [Banshomaru] won't get hurt," and little surprise lines come off Dimple. He agrees but says, "You gotta do me a favor sometime too." Dimple is a little struck by Mob's trust, but maybe more importantly this is the first time in a while, and I think the last time in season two, that Dimple suggests Mob do something for him. It only comes after he reiterates exactly what his purpose is. Dimple's priorities are a little unstable.

Yeah this is just a full comic page from the encounter with Mogami but it's meaningful as shit. Dimple has just suggested taking over Mob's body to protect it. The first panel is Dimple looking away and down, deflated, ashamed. A few sweat drops come down his face. He says, "but something like that..." And to his surprise (action lines, closeup, wide eyes) Mob agrees. Dimple puts on an evil affect when he responds: a horizontally squashed panel shows his backlit face. He smiles unpleasantly and laughs a little, "Kuku..." But his heart clearly isn't in it! His eyebrows are worried, not hostile. There's no pleasure in his smile. He's covered in sweatdrops, eyes wide. When Mob assures Reigen, "It'll be okay," there's another panel of Dimple where the remnants of that affect slide off him. The backlighting is still present but not as severe, the echo of that smile is on his cheek. He's openly worried and covered in sweatdrops. Mob's speech bubble covers a large portion of his face.

Points about this. First, by now Dimple has given up on possessing Mob. This thing that seemed like the main path to his goal is not an option. Second, while both Dimple and Reigen believe that this is a bad idea for Mob, Mob disagrees. Dimple identifies as evil. Reigen identifies him as evil. Mob no longer does. This is classic Shigeo Kageyama behavior, being generous to people even when no one including themselves thinks they deserve it. And the worst part for Dimple is he's starting to agree with Mob. When the option he'd dropped is handed to him on a silver platter, he finds he doesn't want to take advantage of this kid that way. He's a different person than he was.

I don't even know how relevant this is but. Look how much fucking fun Dimple has when he's possessing Mob to protect him. He's doing all these flips and kicks. His smile when he's fighting Mogami!Asagiri is so funny. He does the wildest mid-air combo I ever did see when he attacks the Claw guy as Mob.

Mob becomes such a top priority for Dimple that in the first episode of season three he realizes he forgot that he wanted to become a god. Not only that, but when he comes to Mob to convince him to lead the cult together he's immediately distracted by Mob and what's going on in his life. Mob has to prompt him for him to remember that he's there about the cult.

All this is why Mob's mistrust of Dimple in this conversation is so tragic. Dimple has helped Mob so much, and been so much of a genuine friend, because he knew that Mob trusted him. Where did it go? What happened? Mob's parting words to him are, "Why don't you give your schemes a rest already?" What schemes?? This is the first he's had in months. The translation in the comic, though, is so much more brutal:

"Why don't you stop doing bad things?"

Dimple is

Dimple is terrified of Mob. When Mob wonders if Dimple is scared of him, he's right, of course he is. He has lots of reasons. Mob almost evaporates Dimple when they first meet, threatens him multiple times. Dimple saw him at 100% rage, Mob's first on-screen. He watched Mob hit ???% without being knocked unconscious. This is all especially threatening given Dimple's drive to live. He's terrified when Ritsu tries to fight Mob, he's terrified when Mob asks him if he had anything to do with Ritsu's kidnapping, he's terrified when he thinks Reigen is about to tell Mob that they don't know what happened to his family. But I also read his fear as a symbol of how important Mob is. Dimple attached himself to Mob as the way to achieve his goal. Dimple helps Mob out in so many ways, putting off his goal, so that eventually they can fulfill his purpose together. Then he starts caring about this kid so much that he forgets his purpose! Of course Dimple fears Mob, because their relationship threatens what drives him to live. As much as Dimple is a manipulator, Mob is the one who ultimately has power over him.

Dimple so easily reverts to an evil persona once he leaves Mob because without Mob that's all he can be. If he can't get to the top with Mob, then he has to do it the old way, by using people's flaws to manipulate them. He's able use the broccoli to become a physical presence and get around the "amazing power" problem--though the broccoli's presence and power are still kinda Mob's! But why does he need to become a god at all? Because that's all he is. If he doesn't have Mob and he doesn't have his purpose, then he has nothing.

"Don't go casually denying the thing I've been wanting so badly!" Dimple gets so angry when Mob tells him he's being fake because first, Mob is denying Dimple's manipulative tendencies, which are really important to Dimple right here because he feels his identity is so precarious. And because second, Mob is denying Dimple's purpose. Dimple is in equal danger from Mob's physical attacks and Mob's denial of what he wants. What he wants, what he chooses, is what living is. Dimple doesn't want to die.

Here's a lot of a comic page again, from the final confrontation. Dimple tells Mob that he's just been using him the whole time they've known each other. Mob says, "I'm sad... Does that mean it's time to say goodbye to Dimple?" He steps towards Dimple, who screams in fear and anticipation. I think this is basically the worst thing ever, because god, Dimple is so afraid. Mob is justified in what he's doing but Dimple's desperation is what stands out to me, how hard he's tried to cling to agency and life and how sincerely he believes Mob is about to take it all away from him anyway, to disappear forever and ever.

And then Dimple insults Mob's shirt.

Dimple insults Mob's shirt

Fucking kills me. These are two frames from episode six, Dimple sees how much Mob suddenly trusts him and his reaction is anger, "You okay with leaving me like this?" His eyes are wide, brow down in anger. And then what he says next, "I'm... a dangerous evil spirit!" Here the anger is present but has softened with worry on his brow. The lines by his nose and his pouty lower lip make him look scared and sad. This fight has made it important to Dimple's identity that Mob try to stop him, because he's evil, and Mob stops evil spirits.

Panels from the comic where Mob tells Dimple, "You weren't doing bad things. You were just doing what you wanted to do. Together with me. You trusted me before I trusted you, Dimple. Thank you." Mob doesn't think Dimple is evil, but he identifies how important Dimple acting on his wants is, and he tells him that he still values their relationship. He denies that he has to hurt dimple but affirms his power to choose.

I maybe could've skipped a lot of BS if I put this page further up but I wanted this to get felt, what Dimple's admitting to himself here. It's another section of a page. Panel one, a white splotch in darkness with Dimple's thoughts, "It felt like my ambitions would fade away. Did spending time with unselfish Shigeo cause even me to lose sight of my goals?" Panel two, Dimple is the white splotch. He's scared. "...eh? Wait, that's a problem...!! I'll lose my reason for existing!" So Dimple tells Mob, angry, "No, not yet... I'm not done yet! Even now... I've still got... plenty of things I want to do! And ambitions!" Mob agrees, with that tired, frank look. "I'll hear you out for real. As your friend." Accepting Mob's friendship like this is terrifying, because it means what it always has, forgetting about this purpose. What if Mob stops trusting him again? If he really, consciously abandons his purpose, will he still have agency? He wanted a friend, always wanted a friend. Will it be enough? Will he disappear?

Dimple takes Mob's hand anyway. This was such an amazing shot, I've reproduced its animated glory here, Mob and Dimple reach towards each other, Mob weakly, so Dimple closes the gap and grabs him. The hand grasp of all time. I'm not gonna talk about how this fits into all the other Mob Psycho hand symbolism, that's another 4000-word megapost.

It's worth it. I'm convinced that by involving yourself in a network of people and creating some sense of obligation to others you can actually give yourself an even deeper kind of agency than you could achieve alone. And this is awful, terrifying. Because it involves giving yourself up a little bit. You have to give up some control. Dimple wants to be a god, to have ultimate power and control, so much of him is his manipulation, but he has to give that up for this. Goals that may have guided you for a long time can become irrelevant--and then who are you? If you've defined your life by something for years, and at the end of the decade you realize you don't fit your definition anymore, where do you go? Dimple tells Mob, "Let's go home." But...

Panels from the comic, where Dimple carries a sleeping Mob and thinks, "I said 'let's go home,' but I don't really have any place to 'go home' to... And I don't have anything to aim for from here... I wonder what I should do now." That Dimple is allowing himself to think this is really powerful. I don't think this has to be a sad moment. Like obviously Mob thinks that Dimple's home is his house. He just asked him to stay away until he reverts to his smaller form, as in, he otherwise would've expected Dimple to stay with him. I appreciate the larger point that now Dimple feels unmoored, and deciding on a new purpose is existential. But I think Mob also has a larger point that he believes he can help moor Dimple. I think allowing yourself to wonder where to go next is so important. Dimple is where Mob was a few months back when he decided he wanted to join the body improvement club! He has a future, even if he can't see it very well.

Or, um.

I keep fucking crying while I'm writing this. I love the translation in the comic here. Dimple kneels before a prone Mob and, finger touching his forehead, says, "Listen well... I'm giving you orders for the first and last time. First, wake up. Stand up, Shigeo." Mob is still for a moment and then says, "...it's no use. I can't put any strength into my legs. I can't move my arms either." Dimple is very serious now as he relays, "Your body may complain, but still... stand up. Even if you cannot stand... you must stand." God damn it, god fucking dammit.

Sometimes it's not so easy to change. Your actions have consequences. Your history follows you. Dimple's desperate attempt to keep his old wants comes back to kill his new ones.

Dimple's final act is the same thing he always does, he manipulates Mob to protect him. And it is good and kind. Suddenly his reason for existence is paradoxical: he's going to have to die to fulfill it. Who exists to die? But that's not what it is. Because he's making a choice. He denies death, he says, no, you can swallow me whole, you can annihilate me, but even then you can't take my agency away from me. And I will use this final choice to protect someone I love.

Dimple was a friend.

#mp100 s3 #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #mp100 dimple #tumblr labeled this as mature! idk why!! #there is nothing in here that would warrant it #look out for spoilers in the replies #this is 30 images and thousands of words i deserve all these tags #as a treat #ekubo #mp100 ekubo #dimple #analysis #meta #mp100 meta #shigeo kageyama #mp100 shigeo #mp100 mob #IDs in alts #and in the post itself depending on context

[woodaba]

We Wouldn't Have Alan Wake II Without Quantum Break

Remember Quantum Break? The first game announced for the Xbox One? The link between cult classic Alan Wake and surprising studio-saving hit Control? That prominently features Lance Reddick, the much-missed actor who was frequently one of the most electric screen presences of our time?

Don't worry, I barely do either, and I played the game yesterday.

So, a refresher. Quantum Break, announced in 2013 alongside the Xbox One and released three years later, is a third-person shooter starring Shawn Ashmore aka Iceman from the X-Men movies as Jack Joyce (and not Jake Joyce as I constantly remembered him as. In my defense, it's a better name, if only because then his superhero name could be Quantum Jake...), who, after being turned into A Remedy Entertainment Protagonist after a time-travel experiment gone wrong, battles against fellow Remedy Entertainment Protagonist Aidan Gillen aka Doctor Pavel I'm CIA as Paul Serene, over what to do about an imminent apocalypse after Time starts Breaking because of the aforementioned time-travel experiment.

As a rehabilitating former Doctor Who obsessive, I'm particularly open to this kind of time-travel nonsense, but Quantum Break is frustratingly unwilling to capitalize on its own premise. Interesting things happen, sure: people get stuck in causality loops, confront and become acausal time monsters, and live entire second lives in the past after time-traveling, but almost none of it occurs to Jack Joyce: he just spends his time just shooting guys in a series of warehouses and offices. Quantum Break is a potentially interesting story that we don't really get to see anything of, instead anything compelling in the narrative is relayed to us second-hand, by the myriad emails and documents scattered throughout the gunfights, or over the radio, and, of course, Remedy's now-signature multimedia ambitions.

In between acts of the video game Quantum Break, you'll be treated to episodes of the TV show Quantum Break, a live-action c-tier circa-2009 network TV production starring some of the big(ish) names that headline the game Quantum Break, but mostly follows a cast of extras who navigate around the events of the game while working for baddie Paul Serene's Evil Corporation, Monarch.

It's in the TV show that what Quantum Break actually is begins to take shape. Remedy, as a studio, has always been interested - and unusually adept at - pastiche, whether it's the noir comic stylings of their still-astonishing Max Payne duology or the rickety but deeply charming Stephen King love-in that is Alan Wake. And here, they do a genuinely stellar job at replicating the look, feel, and sensibilities of a 2008-2013 network TV Lost/Fringe rip-off that gets canceled after one season.

That may sound backhanded, but I assure you it isn't. I've long been a fan of Remedy, in spite of, or perhaps because I don't think they've made a truly great game since Max Payne 2. In a medium that often pillages relentlessly from Film and TV, Remedy set themselves apart from their competition with the depth of their understanding of the production of film, bringing into games a deftness of set construction and filmic pacing that blows their contemporaries out of the water. Even more-lauded names like Naughty Dog and Rockstar come up short against Alan Wake's hauntingly gorgeous misty woods, best illustrated with Rockstar's Max Payne 3, which matched Remedy's cinematographical flair in the cutscenes, but fell far short of their level design chops and breadth of influences.

Quantum Break is, in aesthetics and production, a genuinely extremely well-considered pastiche of this period of sci-fi television that is now comfortably in the rear-view mirror, the time since its release having given it a real nostalgic charm that would have been dulled at the time of release. It really reminded me of the years I spent watching shows like Heroes, or Flash/Forward, shows that may not have been very good, but are intoxicatingly emblematic of their time and place, hiding just beneath the floorboards of the shows that would actually get to be remembered.

It's a shame, then, that it just fails to really compel on any level beyond appreciation for the pastiche.

Much like the gameplay, the TV episodes of Quantum Break feel almost ancillary to another, better story that we never get to see. The stars of the game feel wasted here - particularly Lance Reddick, one of my favorite actors, who steals the show every time he appears, but is given vanishingly little to do in comparison with a group of wafer-thin characters that struggle to manifest a single dimension, with relational at best connection to the concerns of the narrative. It looks like a particularly budget-strapped episode of Warehouse 13, sure, but it doesn't really feel like one, as the episodes - until the last one, which is a noticeable improvement - are shockingly paceless and devoid of the arcs that would make a singular episode of television compelling. They are, ultimately, primarily dreary, overlong, and constantly highlighting the fact that they are largely interstitial filler.

It would be wrong to accuse Remedy of not having their heart in Quantum Break, as there is too much evident passion to discount, but I do feel like they struggle to find a core to this idea, something that they truly want to explore. Whether I'm playing the game or watching the show, QB leaves everything on the surface, with nothing to really find beneath the surface. It's notable that the game is absolutely filled with constant allusions to Alan Wake - including a full-blown trailer found on a TV moments after starting the game that bears startling resemblance to the eventual plot of this year's Alan Wake II - and that the game started life as a pitch to Microsoft for Alan Wake II: one suspects that they would much rather be making that game at this moment in time than Quantum Break, or that the game is a test-bed of ideas for the studio's future, the act of throwing a thousand darts at a quantum dartboard, and seeing which ones find their mark. It's just that for this effort, precious few of them do.

And yet, the surprise is that by the end, I truly felt like Remedy was genuinely onto something with the spirit of Quantum Break's ideas, if not the execution of them. The television show is the thing that makes Quantum Break live, that marks it out as something worth remembering in a sea of slick third-person shooters with cinematic ambitions. It is the icon of the foundational belief of the Xbox One, that the future of games lay in a synthesis with television, a dead-end future that had already worn out by the time the game was actually released. What remains is little more than a gimmick, sure, but it is one that, by the end, is oddly compelling, even if most of it is terrifically boring to actually experience.

There is a genuine thrill to seeing characters in both video game graphics and live-action forms, shifting between the two seamlessly thanks to some genuinely well-realized digitized actors that still look good today, a shift that blends well with the time-space bending of the plot. Do I care about Jack Joyce, as a person? Not even slightly. Did I still grin when I saw Actual Shawn Ashmore briefly appear in the TV episodes after controlling Virtual Shawn Ashmore? Absolutely. It's the same kind of shallow thrill you get from Cheers allumni showing up for a visit in Frasier, or when the Torchwood crew talk around the presence of Mr. Doctor Who, Esq, but as something that works with what the game is doing rather than distracting your attention elsewhere.

The gameplay portions represent time breaking down with (genuinely cool, if shallow) shards of space and glass and stuttering loops of physical time, but the collision of the Real and the Virtual feels so much more effective in communicating the idea of time and space shattering and colliding into one another. I just wish it played in this space more, focusing on Ashmore, Reddick, Monaghan, and Hope, rather than the cast of goons and extras who feel wholly separated from the game until the final mission.

I'd like to say that I'd love Remedy to take another crack at this idea, with the lessons they've learned from Control and Alan Wake II, but that already feels like a fool's hope. The ballooning costs of video game development make the idea of filming an entire TV mini-series alongside it feel laughable. Sure, Control's live-action segments were plentiful and superbly produced, but they were also far more restrained than Quantum Break, focusing on short segments with one non-big-name actor each in a couple of highly reusable sets. With both this and its open-world, side-questing structure with plenty of loot and upgrades to collect, Control is something largely in line with the realities and productions of modern game development

Quantum Break isn't rooted in reality for even a second. It's a time-locked instant, the most 2015 game ever made, which makes it all the better that it came out in 2016. There's no future in what Quantum Break envisions. It's a failed experiment, something to shrug at and move on. And yet, it compels me regardless, despite the fact that I don't really like it.

We need games like this, I feel. Historical curios like this show that the shifting landscape of the medium isn't a straight line, it splits off into splintered fraying timelines, some leading to nothing, but others spilling back in unexpected ways. After all, Courtney Hope, who played Beth Wilder here, returned for the starring role in Control, and that game feels so keenly like the product of lessons learned from QB, with everything from the live-action segments, the document-reading, and the combat feeling like a progression from Remedy's previous work. In particular, my complaints about QB's narrative taking place almost entirely off-screen evolves into a hugely compelling aspect of Control, with the genuine highlight of that game being reading the endless documents detailing the horrors and nightmares of America transcribed into corporate mundanity.

And while I've only played a taster of Alan Wake II, there's no doubt in my mind that that game, a bona-fide critical darling the likes of which Remedy hasn't had since Max Payne 2, owes a great debt to QB. Not least because its engine provides the framework for the game, but also because, well, it's been in there, this whole time.

Waiting for The Return.

#video games #remedy entertainment #alan wake #alan wake ii #quantum break #control game #Youtube

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Snowflame

(WARNING! This analysis contains C-C-C-COCAINE!)

Imagine this absurd concept: A supervillain cartel boss whose powers are fueled by him getting high off his own supply. Imagine too that this man wears a ridiculous outfit, and exists to be an anti-drug PSA that fails epically because he makes doing drugs look awesome. Now also imagine that everything about him is played completely straight without a single bit of acknowledgment of how absurd and campy the whole thing is.

That, my friends, is Snowflame.

The New Guardians is a comic series that would have been long forgotten as a crusty relic of the late 80s if not for giving the world the absolute coolest villain ever conceived. Snowflame has amassed a cult following the likes of which would make Jim Jones envious, due to the sheer absurdity of his existence and the pure unadulterated action movie villain charm of his dialogue. He’s perhaps one of the most minor villains out there with only a handful of appearances to his name, but he’s loved more than villains who’ve appeared twenty times as much as him.

I’m here to show you why.

Motivation/Goals: Snowflame is a cartel leader, and so he really wants to peddle drugs. Guess which drug is his forte. Go on, guess. And that’s really all there is to him! I need to reiterate that his threat as a cartel leader is played completely and utterly straight even as he spouts off the hammiest dialogue you’ve ever seen and literally gets a power up by snorting coke. This is the very core of his appeal, in that he is something genuinely terrifying and threatening but presented in a way only a comic book can pull off.

Of course, his true motivation is far, far simpler.

Look at this man. That is the face of a man who exists solely to snort illicit substances up his nose. He lives to be high. That is the extent of his desires, and all else is second to that simple goal. As long as he can ignite and continue to be the instrument of cocaine's will, he is satisfied.

Final Fate: Every single time Snowflame shows up, he dies. In his initial appearance, he apparently blows up, but three decades later, he makes his coke-fueled return to do battle with Catwoman, and despite inhaling enough cocaine to kill an elephant, a feat that should theoretically make him nigh invincible, he fucking dies.

...Or does he? Snowflame returns yet again in Peacemaker Tries Hard! Here he does battle with, you guessed it,

...who puts a poison dart frog in his cocaine and kills him.

Maybe. My theory is that Snowflame is the Kenny of the DC universe, and whenever some bastard kills him his coke-fueled powers just respawn him the next day.

Best Scene: While his fight against Catwoman is unfortunately lackluster as ordained by the writers (Selina is not lasting two seconds against Snowflame and his coke-fueled powers under realistic circumstances), it gave us one of the most gorgeous and badass panels ever made:

Really brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?

Best Quote: Yeah, there’s no fucking contest here, it’s this:

Final Thoughts & Score: I think I speak for all of us when I say Snowflame is one of the greatest fucking characters ever conceived.

Everything about him is a towering testament to what makes the medium of comic books great. The best villains tend to be the wildest and most out-there concepts, like a giant alien starfish that mind controls people, or a gay gorilla in love with a brain in a jar, or a giant racist communist egg. And don’t even get me started on the villains the Doom Patrol fights! Snowflame is the epitome of that; he is what would happen if Tony Montana was a DC supervillain by way of Captain Planet. He is absurd, over-the-top, and so goddamn cool.

It’s very obvious they were trying to do an anti-drug PSA here given the time the comic was released, but it absolutely falls flat on its face when the strawman constructed to be defeated so that the lesson might be dispersed is an absolute lunatic who dresses in colorful spandex and spouts off the most epic lines to ever come out of a villain’s mouth. Everything about him is absurd, but unlike something like Egg Fu he’s absurd in a tasteful and cool way rather than a shockingly racist way. Snowflame is just a dude who snorts cocaine to gain superpowers, it’s as simple as that and yet it’s also completely bonkers.

It’s genuinely unsurprising that this guy managed to get such a massive cult following that he spawned a fanmade webcomic and then got to pop up in the comics again over three decades after his supposed death. And it’s said cult following that has allowed him to pop up time and time again, even getting an appearance in the fourth season of Harley Quinn. I’m sure you can guess that I’m part of that massive cult fanbase, and I can only dream of writing a villain as incredible and grandiose as this drug-addled madman. Infinity/10 isn’t a real score, so he’ll have to settle for a 10/10 instead.

...Oh yeah, remember in the Egg Fu review when I said I wasn’t going to review Hemo-Goblin?

Psycho Analysis: Hemo-Goblin

This is gonna be really short, because there is so little to this guy. He is a one-shot, but boy what a fucking shot he is. Hemo-Goblin is a racist vampire created by South African white supremacists to give members of the New Guardians AIDS. You read that right. This is a racist AIDS vampire.

Now, unlike Egg Fu, who was a horrible racist caricature created from topical anti-communist sentiments of the time, Hemo-Goblin was seemingly created with better intentions. But you know what they say about intentions; the road to Hell is paved with good ones. I get wanting to do a commentary on the AIDS crisis, and I don’t think it’s out of the question for a superhero book to handle such a thing, but maybe having an AIDS-powered vampire give HIV to a Jamaican woman and a gay man isn’t the most tasteful and nuanced way to do this.

Oh, and by the end of his only appearance, he dies of AIDS in jail.

I’m not gonna lie, guys: I kinda love this stupid fucking creature. His weird design, the absurdity of his concept, and the awful execution of his premise makes him memorable for all the wrong reasons, but he’s memorable nonetheless. I think if Snowflame didn’t exist and wasn’t the coolest villain ever, more people would talk about the insanity that is Hemo-Goblin, though having a single appearance before dying and never appearing again doesn’t help his case much. Still, he’s just cazy enough to earn himself a 3.5/10, so he’s got that going for him.

#Psycho Analysis #DC #Snowflame #Hemo-Goblin #The New Guardians

[r-rook-studio]

Writing and Rewriting Bracknell Horror

So here's a terrible secret: in 2019, hot on the heels of the original Moonlight on Roseville Beach zine, I put some notes for a little adventure called "The Bracknell Horror." I had no illusions that it was a great investigation scenario. Still, it showed off a few things about Roseville Beach, including places and people in the town as well as the queer people who lived/visited there. It went to a location inside the setting without requiring deep lore, added some jokey Easter Egg references to Lovecraft's The Whisperer in Darkness, and included some comically easy to use alien tech.

The problem was, I didn't really like it.

People at con sessions had fun, but there was nothing particularly special or interesting about the scenario itself, and any scenario would have been great in its place. Also, while I like to say Roseville Beach is a game of "horror comedy," there wasn't much actual horror here other than some Lovecraft references. That's also true of my other Roseville Beach scenario "The Haunting of Flora Bly," though the book has four more scenarios that are richer in horror potential.

But this summer, just before running it at A Weekend with Good Friends, I rewrote it. I talked about some of those rewrites on my blog just after the first run-through, but more have come up as I've continued to playtest this.

First, while the initial scenario centered around a wealthy occultist-adventurer named Simon Mathers, the revision has greatly warped him from that initial vision. In the early drafts, he was an occultist willing to give Dreamlands entities the bodies of Roseville Beach residents in return for access to the Dreamlands. In the new one, he's returning to our reality after 20+ years in the Dreamlands, hoping to find a body for himself (the temporary one he constructed is collapsing) and his two Dreamlands familiars.

In the original, the cult-like group of followers worked for Mathers and planned to keep doing so. In the new, none of them like each other, and each of them have their own reasons for working with him (and one might even try to kill him).

Third, I let some of my OSR influences show. Beyond making each of the named NPCs a faction of one, I've also added some NPC rivals (all of whom might end up becoming collaborators) who also all have their own motivations and agendas for finding out what Mathers' cult is up to.

Finally, while the original notes told GMs to pull from the PCs troubles and connections to determine who Mathers' cultists have captured, the new one includes a chance to target the PCs themselves, giving at least some of them a chance to sneak in and explore the Bracknell while the cult is setting up the ritual, adds some specific NPCs the cult targets, asking instead how the PCs and their contacts/troubles connect them with those people, giving their troubles and connections a motivation to insist on coming along whether they'll be helpful or not.

Dai Shugars, Roseville Beach's art director and visual designer, has put together some incredible maps that allowed me to spend less wordcount describing the space and more giving info on NPCs, creating news stories and book snippets that can serve as physical clues, and creating a better sense of how the Doom Clock progresses.

The text will come to Itch for slowfunding next Tuesday, and the final zine will include the adventure, pregens, new strange events that tie to this mystery, and the basic rules of play, so you can try it out even if you don't already own Moonlight on Roseville Beach. Think of it like a horror-comedy investigation version of a Fighting Fantasy Game Book, but maybe gayer.

This is my chance to draft and preview some of what's coming. You can pick up Moonlight on Roseville Beach (Itch | DriveThru | Spear Witch | IPR) and the current two-issue zine bundle (Itch | DriveThru), or just follow-along with the zine project that will get bundled up in Dim All the Lights. Or you can back our upcoming reprint and hardbacks Kickstarter!

#moonlight on roseville beach #roseville beach zine series #tabletop gaymes #ttrpgs #tabletop rpgs #tabletop game design

[honeysmokedham]

TIMING: While Wynne was in the hospital PARTIES: Nora @honeysmokedham & Wynne @ohwynne LOCATION: The Hospital SUMMARY: A freshly de-crystaled Nora goes to visit Wynne in the hospital after their run-in with a vampire cult. They are friends now. CONTENT WARNINGS: suicidal ideation tw

Nora’s body felt weird and light and wrong. Each movement she made felt awkward, she was already so used to accommodating the crystals pushing out of her skin. Now she was a blank canvas, stripped from everything she had felt made her her. Sure, it was nice to no longer be obsessed with the mines. Those thoughts had muddled her mind. They’d consumed her and eaten her from within until she was a shell of who she really was, and just a mouthpiece for the mines. Having her thoughts and her control back, that was nice. But there was still the part of her that longed for that version of her. A body that was beautiful. A creature she wanted to be. 

Whatever. Nora marched through the hospital, ignoring calls from a nurse asking her to sign in. She lost a security guard that had started following her with a series of ducking in and out of places she shouldn’t be. Finally she ended up in Wynne's room. Nora didn’t knock before she entered. She walked in, slumping down in the only seat that wasn’t easily seen from the door’s window. “Sup.” Nora asked Wynne, feet lifting to share the bed with her. “Hospitals suck.” Then, as if she’d forgotten - because she had - Nora reached into her pocket and pulled out some carefully wrapped cookies. “Stole these for you.” She tossed them to Wynne, hoping they’d catch. 

—

All of this was dizzying. The people that kept coming. The texts. The concern. The fact that none of them chastised them for being upset, for feeling afraid, for being in pain. The care. Wynne felt so wholly undeserving of it, this feeling of victimhood and their near-willingness to succumb to it and yet, here they were. A martyr with wounds on formerly bound wrists, pale and dehydrated, with puncture marks on their neck. When Nora appeared, they wanted to sink into the bed and its pillows, not even wanting to know what she saw when she looked at them.

But Nora just acted like herself. Put her boots on the bed, which made Wynne a little nervous. Wouldn’t the nurses get mad, if there was dirt on the sheets? “Hi.” Their voice was still not what it used to be, not just the dehydration and former screams impacting it but all the suppressed tears somehow straining it too. “I think I agree with you. It’s my first time but it’s not very fun.” They wanted home. They tried not to think of it, lest they start crying again. They moved to catch the cookies, but failed. Wynne grabbed them from where they’d plopped onto the sheets. “Thank you. And for coming.” Were they friends, then? Maybe. It seemed so. “You know what else sucks?” This was an attempt at a joke.

—

Wynne’s voice was different, raspier, harsher without intent. The voice of someone who went through something. Yeah. Going through things sure put people in the hospital. “What I hate most about hospitals is they want to know who you are. Can’t stand that. What do they need my name for?” It was the truth, but Nora was attempting a more comical ice breaker then she’d normally use. It wouldn’t be fair to try and scare Wynne for an ice breaker when Wynne was plugged into machines and unable to punch her. “I could get you a ballon though. If you think that’s fun.” A peace offering. A way of saying, I’m here to make sure you’re okay, not because the lamb is weak so the lion will slaughter.

“The vampire?” Nora tapped a spot on her neck, the place where a bandage wrapped carefully around Wynne’s neck. “Good one. Don’t tell that to Mimi, I think he’ll start crying.” Their mutual connection, the bond that held their steady alliance, was always a mess, but this was effecting him more in a silent brooding way he wouldn’t talking about. Noticeable because of time spent together. “You got a lot of friends.” Nora was looking around at the flowers that adorned the room, cards clipped to their vases. “I get it. You’re brave. I knew that from the moment you punched me.” Nora’s lips tugged into a micro smile, the only break in her normally emotionless features. “I think that’s cool. No one was brave enough to punch me before.” Nora stretched her arms, fingers tapping against the arms of her chair. “More people should be like you.” That was probably enough being nice. Right? Not that Nora thought being nice was a chore or anything. She just didn’t know hospital etiquette. 

—

“I don’t like … the lights. And the smell. The food. And the fact that I can’t just lie in a bed in another room. I don’t mind them knowing my name that much.” But their name carried no weight in this world, and it wasn’t like Protherians monitored hospitals. At least, Wynne assumed they didn’t. They smiled a little. “A balloon would be fun.” What a strange thing, that Nora offered to get them a balloon (presumably through theft) rather than offer them something else. But Wynne thought they could get used to it, this different routine.

They nodded. “The vampire. He sucked a lot.” Wynne didn’t want to think about Zane. Zane who almost cried before his eyes had turned red and his teeth sharp. Zane who had ripped open their neck with those teeth. Who had apologized afterwards. He had sucked, in the literal sense. But whether they disliked him for what had happened, they didn’t know. Wynne had never been very good at hating those who harmed them. “He would. I don’t know why he feels so guilty. He saved us, he and Metzli both.” It was so hard to understand him. He’d done what he’d said he’d do: he had protected them. He’d done what their parents had not been able to, had caught them when they’d fallen and showed up at the hospital as they slept. “Oh. I mean,” they murmured, shrugging. Did they have a lot of friends? It was quite overwhelming how many people had reached out and come over. “I don't know. I'm a bit of a coward most of the time. When I punched you I wanted to not be one for once.”

—

Wynne started a list about what the hospital contained that they didn't like and once they got started it spiraled into something longer. All of which seemed so inconsequential, but stacked on top of each other really made for a discomforting time. "Yeah, you should be able to lay in whatever bed you want." Nora agreed. "If you want I can help you. We can go to a different room right now. Then when they ask us why you're in the wrong room, we can tell them you were always in that room. It's called gaslighting. It's a manipulation tactic that is sometimes used for pranks. This would be a prank." Nora picked at the cuffs of her jacket sleeve as she talked, her hands never did good idle. Sitting still and talking, that was a lot. The urge to pull out her phone and scroll through mindless media as they talked was strong, but Nora persisted. 

"Metzli?" A blink as Nora tried to parse the information presented to her. Emilio knew Metzli. Metzli the vampire. But Emilio and Metzli had saved everyone, from vampires. Nora's feet landed on the floor with a loud thud, as her body moved forward. Closer to Wynne as if she was leaning in to tell a secret. But really she was invested. There was a larger part of the story here. Something she wanted to understand that was just out of reach. "Metzli wasn't the vampire that bit you, right? Because Metzli ran away. They said that it wasn't safe for them to be around, that they were going to hurt everyone one day. Then they left." It had been a sore subject. Cass had cried for days, and Nora had one her best to comfort her friend but it never seemed like enough. 

"Isn't that what they say bravery is?" Nora added, lightly, waving off the comment that Wynne was a bit of a coward. "Standing up in the face of fear?" Nora could never be brave, because Nora could never be scared. But Nora could respect Wynne for their bravery. 

—

Their face turned a little, as if they were confused by this suggestion. Break the rules? Made by people more knowledgeable and authoritative than them? Lie to them after doing so? Wynne opened their mouth and closed it again, trying to figure out an answer. “I mean, I don’t even know how to … what to do with this thing, if we were gonna do that,” they said, lifting their hand which was still connected to the IV drip. “But if we were, I’d like to go where my roommates are, of course. It is so quiet here. I don’t know why they think that is good for me!” The private room was to stop others from asking upsetting questions or looking at them funny, they had said — but Arden and Zack wouldn’t do either of those things. 

They shook their head furiously, “No, no, it wasn’t Metzli. Metzli saved us. Metzli —” They became very silent, their throat seeming to dry out in a way that wouldn't allow words to exit. There didn’t seem to be a tactful way to mention that Metzli had ripped off vampire’s heads with brute strength. Wynne frowned at the revelation of what the other had done. “What? But they —” They sat up. “Them and Emilio, they make no sense. They saved us, all of us, and they feel like monsters? The monsters were those vampires, that woman – the people that took us!” Their voice was breaking, frustration seeping in. All Wynne had wanted was someone to save them back at home, and now the people who had done so seemed riddled with guilt and now they felt riddled with guilt. Maybe no one should save you. “They didn’t hurt me. Or Zack, or Arden. They saved us.” 

They shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s the first time I did it. Maybe the only time. I tend to just run away.” Wynne frowned, wondering if that would bring up questions they didn’t really feel like answering. “I’m afraid all the time. And I didn’t stand up to anyone there, in that cellar. I just let them —” This was too honest, wasn’t it? They hardly knew Nora. But Nora had called them brave, and something unlocked. “I would have just let them kill me.”

—

Nora eyed the IV. “We can move it with us. Or we can rip it out.” Nora eyed the needles. “That would probably hurt.” Wynne went on to talk about their roommates, and there was a tenderness in their voice, a kindness and a love that Nora could recognize now that she had the same emotion for people in her life. A warmth filled her. It was dumb. It was dumb to care that other people cared about things, and felt happiness. When had she turned into a person that cared about that? Had it been when people started caring about her? Not caring for the person she was supposed to be, but the person she wanted to be? “We can do that. We’ll take you to your roommates.” 

Another person for Metzli to disappoint. Emotion spread across Wynne as they sat up straight. “It wasn’t Metzli.” Nora repeated an agreement. Because Nora trusted Metzli, and trusted they wouldn’t hurt people they cared about, and trusted that this self isolation they had put themselves in was the most stupid reaction they could make to their problem. “Metzli saved my life before too.” So had Emilio, in a different way. In the way that someone saves another from themselves. “I-” Nora opened her mouth, closed her mouth and chewed on the words. She had to be sure these were the correct words to say, they had to matter. Because words mattered, even if they were hard and laborious things. “I think they are scared that whatever they did might one day be something they do to you, me, people they care for. Zack and Arden?” Nora assumed those were their roommates. 

The word monster had been thrown around, carelessly and with vitriol. The monsters had been the vampires. The monsters had hurt them. When Wynne looked at Nora, sitting on the seat next to the hospital bed, did they see them for the monster they truly were? Did Metzli stop being a monster because they did something good? Did being a monster make someone inherently bad? “Metzli can be a monster, and Metzli can be good, and Metzli can think that being a monster will make them bad.” The words were slow and hesitant and they stumbled their way out of her mouth, but the word monster was vast and complicated. The word monster meant something and it needed more than those who had hurt Wynne and their roommates. “They don’t want to be a bad monster, so they are scared.” Because fear was the only emotion that Nora knew with the certainty that she knew she was a monster. It was the only emotion she knew how to invoke in conversation to explain away a problem. It was the only explanation she had for Metzli’s reaction. “But it isn’t right.” 

Then Wynne was admitting it was their first time having a brave reaction. The signature micro-smile, the one that tugged at the corner of her lips and expressed happiness, pricked at her cheeks. The expression she had learned and embraced so recently. “It’s a good start. I’m a good start.” Because Nora was fear, and if Wynne could face fear, Wynne could face anything. Honestly? She was honored. “It's okay to be afraid. Everyone is afraid. I can smell it.” Every day Nora passed people pretending not to be afraid of something, and every day she could delight in their fear, even as nothing was happening. But when Wynne admitted they would have let them kill them, Nora tilted her head to the side. “Why?” It was an honest question, it held no judgment. Nora just wanted to understand. “If you would have let them kill you, what were you afraid of?”

—

They nodded. It would probably hurt. Besides, Wynne was terrified of upsetting the staff that was taking such good care of them, who carried themselves with knowledge and authority. They knew by now that the measures they’d taken to ensure obedience at home were not taken in these corners of the outside world, but they still worried about them. “Let’s just … keep it where it is. Maybe. If you want to do some crime, you can steal me jello?” Maybe that was how Nora showed affection. Was that was this was? Friendship? They thought it might be, and they were glad for it, glad for the attitude Nora brought. Something steady, something powerful. 

Their jaw set as they tried to think to Metzli on that night, their entire body growing featherlight as the vampire had tore off heads and whatnot. Would Metzli do what Zane had done? What the vampires had done when they’d been captured? How did Metzli feed themself? “But they wouldn’t. If that’s not something they want to do to their loved ones, they wouldn’t.” They doubted themself as they said, remembering how different Metzli had looked. Admittedly, Wynne didn’t know them that well, so their impression of the vampire was rather shallow and limited. Maybe there was good reason for Metzli to be afraid of themself. Wynne knew part of them was very afraid of them. “My roommates. The ones I was with.”

They fiddled with the sheets as Nora spoke, trying to sense what it was she was getting at. Wynne hadn’t thought when they had taken the word monster into their mouth, but it seemed that the other had thought plenty on the term. It made sense, considering she could conjure monstrous things and also was a bear. “I never thought about it like that. That a monster isn’t inherently bad you mean, right? That it’s … just that. No judgment.” They looked at her, lips twisted and pushed to the side in insecure thought. If that was what Nora meant, it did align with what they thought, didn’t it? Wynne thought everyone was capable of good and bad, both human and not. What they were wasn’t the deciding factor. “In there they were a good monster.” 

They tried to calm, to stop overthinking everything and to stop feeling guilty. Wynne leaned back against the pillows, their breathing hurting their neck. They looked at Nora with interest. “What does it smell like?” And then came the question — honest and perhaps even fair, but so hard-hitting all the same. Their gaze redirected, shoulders lifting. “I don’t know. I felt maybe it was a long time coming.” Lips disappeared in the flesh of their lip, eyes tilting up and they wondered how to explain what that meant. How much of the veil did they want to lift. They eventually looked back at Nora they let out a breath of air. “I was supposed to die last November. I didn’t. And then when that vampire was drinking my blood I thought maybe it was enough, you know? The time I bought myself.” They inhaled sharply. “I mean. I know now it wasn’t. I don’t want to die. But … yeah.”

—

“Jello?” Nora was almost taken aback. Because she was basically a crime lord, right? She spent a lot of time stealing and breaking into places, but the only crime Wynne wanted her to commit was stealing Jello? “Okay, what color?” She wasn’t sure if Jello had flavors, or if people pretended to because of their colors. Nora settled back into her chair, boots back up on the bed, eyes fixed on Wynne with full respectful attention. No action right now. Relax. A hand wandered into her pocket, absently petting the snake she found in there.

It felt like Nora was having a repeat of this conversation with everyone lately. Words to describe Metzli’s actions, but how could she explain it when she didn’t understand it? “Metzli saved my life.” Nora commented. “I used to think that no one else was like me. Like, it was humans versus me, you know? But then I moved here, and people started telling me things and I thought they were lying. People lie a lot.” Nora was a child of the internet, morphed and raised by its treacherous forums. It was where the knowledge that everyone was a liar cemented itself so deeply in her brain, just as she became a liar as well. “But a hunter found me, and they ripped off his head. It was me or them.” The blood was warm. It spilled everywhere. The head rolled away. The knife’s hilt was pressed into her hand and Debbie’s dead eyes were staring at her as blood dripped down. It always linked back. It was all connected. Death had caught her scent and it followed her. Maybe she could understand Metzli’s point of view.

“I think they don’t want to be that person. I don’t know. They don’t want to be a murderer. You know? They want to…” Nora shrugged, dropping her feet down. “I don’t know Wynne. I told them it was dumb. Many people did.” Nora sighed. “If they were bad Emilio would have killed them already, so they should accept they were good.” Because Emilio was always right about those things, no matter how hard Nora pretended he wasn’t.

Nora cracked her neck, thinking carefully how to answer. “Your fear smells like you. Everyone’s fear smells like them, but there is something extra in there, I guess that is the fear. It’s different for everyone. Yours?” Nora took a deep breath, imagining the moment when she last got a taste of Wynne’s fear. “Yours smells like sulfur. But it doesn’t… it doesn’t really taste? You know? Like, it's delicious, but it's not like eating candy or ham. It just...” These words were struggling to come out, how did people describe things? “It just is.” Nora let that drop there. She wasn’t sure there was more she could say about it.

It was a good place to drop, because Wynne confided that they should have died last November. Nora leaned forward, drawn in by that information. "Why?" The first question. Set the story, give the scene. Let her understand. “You didn’t fight to live, because you’re already supposed to be dead.” Nora rephrased the sentence, repeating to make sure she understood. “But you’re not dead.” Nora tilted her head. “I don’t think I understand. Can you explain?”

—

Maybe it was stupid, to request something as seemingly meaningless as jello. But their stomach felt like an empty pit that shouldn’t be filled these days, and the one thing they liked about their meals was the sugary-shivering stuff. “Yes. I like the green one best.” They gave a little smile to Nora, as if that would fully underline and justify their request. Wynne wasn’t sure if the other would actually do it, but it mattered little. She said okay, and acted like herself with those boots on their sheets and they thought that this was just how friendship could be.

They quietly listened to Nora speaking, reiterating the now well-known fact that people lied. Wynne thought of the people at home, of Padrig, Alys and Siors, of their parents — how many of them had lied to them? How much of it had been nonsense, and how much of it was real? It was a lonely realization, to find out that people lied as easily as breathing. It was lonely too, they imagined, to feel like you were the only one out there like you. “I know they do. I’m –” They swallowed. “Sorry. That must have been lonely. I’m glad Metzli saved you. And that you have maybe found more proof that you are not alone in what you are? Have you met someone else like you?” Wynne had. Sitting across Teddy, sharing their pasts … it had made such a difference. It was sad, that there was someone out there like them, but it was also a comfort.

Lips pursed into a scrunched up crinkle as Wynne tried to grasp the situation. “I guess shame can make us do things that don’t make a lot of sense sometimes. It’s not always … rational. Guilt.” They felt guilty for leaving the commune every day, even if plenty of people had by now pointed out that they had been right to, or brave to. “That’s true. Emilio — he didn’t do anything to them. Maybe I will talk to them.”

They resisted commenting on the fact that dogs also smelled fear. It seemed maybe a little bit rude to compare Nora to an animal, even if Wynne had seen her turn into an actual bear. “That makes sense. That it is different for everyone.” Sulfur, Nora said, which they supposed made sense. It was the scent that had rolled over the commune during certain rituals, when the demon had made some kind of appearance. “Oh. Okay. But it like … feeds you still? You need it like we need, I don’t know, broccoli and stuff?”

It wasn’t strange that Nora didn’t understand, given the way Wynne had skirted around the topic of their impending death. They hadn’t found a right way to mention it, and wondered if there maybe even was one. “Um,” they said, wanting to backtrack but also not being sure how to go about that. “I –” They let their gaze flick up, the way Nora looked at them intense and demanding, even if she didn’t mean for it. The words eventually came, but somewhat like an avalanche: “I was meant to die in a sacrifice ritual for a demon, because that’s what my people do every – every so often, and I was the one destined for it.” Destined, what an ugly word, but it’s what they had always called it. That, or purpose. Like it was good. It was supposed to have been good — but what good was dying? “I ran away, because I didn’t want to die, but I was supposed to, I knew … for most of my life I knew I was gonna die that day, but I didn’t, and so when that vampire bit me —” Zane, they thought, the name swallowed on purpose. “I thought, maybe, that was just fate catching up with me.”

—

Green jello. Nora would get that as soon as they were done talking here. If it was what Wynne wanted, it was what Wynne would get. Besides, how often had she eaten Wynne’s food. Without even realizing it. It was the least she could do. Her jacket had a lot of pockets. She’d be able to steal a lot before anyone noticed.

“No, I haven’t.” Nora bit her lip, her tongue rotating the ring in her lip over and over again a few times before she spoke. “This wasn’t. – I mean, you don’t need to comfort me or ask about me or whatever,” Nora was not doing a good job. “I just mean to say, todays about you and Metzli or whatever. I just wanted to tell you that like I get it?” Between each pause of the word came another flick of the ring in her mouth. The piercing had been a declaration of her independence but recently it turned into a fidget toy. “So, you don’t feel alone, or whatever. And like because it doesn’t make sense that Metzli would take it so badly after saving you, when they’ve done things like that before. You know?”

“Good luck. If you talk to them. Maybe they’ll listen to you because you were there.” Nora sighed a bit. It was all very confusing and complicated. Saving people had been a good thing, but feeling guilty over hurting someone who had hurt you? Nora could understand that. She understood it every night Debbie’s face swam in her mind’s eye. It was fucked. All of it.

“Yeah, it’s like having an empty stomach, but it’s not my real stomach. It’s like my fear stomach. Then I smell fear and its full. But I don’t physically consume anything? At least, not that I see. I just.” Nora made a whiffing motion, but she realized she was making it about herself again, and she was supposed to be here for Wynne. “But I don’t think anyone needs broccoli. Food, sure. Just not broccoli.” Ham for sure.

Nora listened with patience as Wynne searched for the words they needed to tell this story. This personal story that they were trusting her with. Because they were friends now. Surely, this was friendship. Nora waited until the end and until she was sure Wynne didn’t have more to say. “That’s dumb.” Which wasn’t helpful or comforting. But it was true. It was dumb that their family had raised them to be a sacrifice. “Destiny is fucked. No one has the right to tell you what to do or who to be. It’s fucked that they expected that of you. If they want a sacrifice, then they should have sacrificed themselves.” Nora crossed her arms as she considered it deeper. “You ran away so you could choose a life you wanted, right?” Because Nora had done the same thing. Because Nora could understand that. “You lived and you get your better life. You get to fight to not die at the hands of a vampire.” Nora mined a staking motion. “Fate only works if you follow expectations. We ran away, we get to change fate. You get to fight for a death you can be happy with.” Nora yawned. “Or something like that. I’m not going to die, so I can’t help with that.” 

—

Nora seemed to reject their pity and Wynne wasn’t sure how to feel about it. They flocked to concern, it seemed, taking any of it they could get and holding it close to their chest. They didn’t want people to feel sorry for them, but they wanted someone to be sorry, some kind of apology. They had cried when Emilio had apologized after they’d told their story. They were glad when the nurses fussed over them. As if they were something worth not only caring for, but keeping alive as well.

But Nora rejected it. “It’s alright. I mean, you can talk about it if you want. It’s good to talk about things. But you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” They smiled a little, though it was half-hearted. They felt infinitely tired. “I do feel less alone. I’m glad you’re here. And telling me these stories.” It was hard to think about, this idea that just because Metzli had done this before – this meaning beheading people who posed a risk – they shouldn’t react this way. Murder was bad, wasn’t it? But what if you killed murderers? Wynne felt another wave of fatigue, a want to just close their eyes and not interact with this wretched world any more.

It seemed like it was so much pain. Maybe it was better to sometimes lay a person on an altar and watch them die than this, all this unexpected death and suffering. “Maybe. I don’t know. Depends on when I can get out of here too. And how I feel.” Because part of Wynne was afraid of seeing the vampire again, their mind still a trap of memories of that barn, of those red-glowing eyes, of the feeling of teeth in their throat.

They frowned a little at Nora, curious and a little concerned. “Do you smell me now?” Because Wynne was pretty sure they were afraid all the time. Nora must have had a couple of feasts from just being around them, they figured. “I like broccoli. It’s very versatile and tasty. But to each their own.”

That’s dumb. They blinked at the other, at this expression of disrespect that would have never stood at home. Wynne found themself speechless for a moment, letting the other speak and talk with proper insight, but the sentiment of it being dumb just kept echoing. She didn’t say she was sorry, or that it had been wrong, or looked at them with that look that Zack, Arden and even Emilio had had. That’s dumb. And maybe it was. Maybe all of it had been. “I thought it was this great honor. But I also always just kept being mad, I guess, that everyone was so okay with it. With me dying for them.” Nora’s words rang true, though. They were exactly what Wynne wanted to hear, wanted to believe. “That’s right. I ran because I wanted to live. However I wanted. And I don’t want to die. Not like that, not just yet — right? I want to be old, one day. And I want to be better at fighting, even if I didn’t like it when that vampire …” They shivered. Wynne raised their eyebrows. “Are you immortal?” Maybe all bearshifters were.

—

“I’m not who I was when I came to this town. I’ve seen people die. I’ve seen death.” I’ve killed. The words remained unspoken, because of the bind that kept her silence, but in that moment Nora would have confessed her murder to the person in front of her. Once an enemy. Now a friend. Surely after this, their shared confessional, they could at least be friends. “But what I like most about who I am now, is that I get to choose. I don’t tell a lot of people this, but I think it’ll resonate with you.” Nora swallowed, the lump in her throat burning at the words that she had kept to herself this entire time. Words that she hadn’t told anyone. They had either known without her input, or they didn’t. “It’s not the same. You had it worse, but I get it. In a different way. I was Eleanor once. Eleanor Pine, the model.” Considering Nora now knew Wynne grew up in a cult as a sacrifice, she figured it would mean nothing to Wynne. Nora pulled out her phone, opening up to a missing article about herself. She tossed the phone over to Wynne. 

“I hated it. I hated being in the public eye. I was raised by humans who wanted me to be human, but I’m not. They didn’t know better, but I still didn’t get a choice. It was be a model or.” Nora shrugged. It was dumb to say, be a model or don’t be loved by your fathers. Not at all as dire as be a sacrifice for your cult or run away, but it was hers. Nora cracked her neck. “I wasn’t happy, but they thought I should be and that was enough. They never asked what I wanted. So I turned eighteen, and I ran away.” Nora lifted her arms, as if to say look at me now. “Happier than ever. Because I get to choose. Despite it all. Despite everything that’s happened since I’ve been here. I wouldn’t trade it for shit. Because I’m the master of my own choices here. I live in a crypt. I work for Emilio. I have friends who like me for me. Not because I could get them internet fame. I think that’s happiness, you know? And I think that’s why it's cool you ran. And I think that’s why you should never forget that. Even when a vampire is biting you. Because you chose to live. You can choose to keep fighting for that.” 

Each interaction with Wynne gave something new for Nora to think about. A new positive trait to assign under their name. Resilient was today’s. Nora let out a bark of laughter, uncharacteristic for her, but so was the oversharing. “No. I’m not immortal. I mean, I’ll die one day. Just not now. Not now I finally get to live. I’ll die when I’m old, and I’ll die having lived the life I wanted.” Nora paused, before amending. “We will die having lived the life we wanted.” 

That was a lot of talking. A lot of sharing. Nora felt uncomfortable for a moment, twitching in her seat. Quickly she got to her feet. “Hang on.” Nora stomped out of the room. It took five minutes, but she was back with a bottle of water and a pocket full of green jell-o. “Thirsty.” Nora explained, holding up the water bottle. She threw herself back down on the seat, with the uncaring ease of a cat who did whatever it wanted. “Catch.” It was the only warning Nora gave as she once more started tossing things at Wynne. This time it was thirteen green jell-os she’d stolen from trays getting ready to be served to other patients. Wynne didn’t need to know that last fact. It would devastate them. They were kind like that. 

“What are you going to do next time someone tries to kill you?”

—

Wynne looked at Nora with a greater understanding than before, one that continued to grow with every word she said. Who could have known, that there were such similarities between the pair of them? The bear and barista, the scary and the scared. And yet here they said, not just bonded by their shared care for Emilio Cortez, but bonded by similar pasts too. It was strange, because Nora’s life sounded entirely and wholly different from their own, but still there was something like recognition. Wicked’s Rest had changed them, had shown them things they’d never seen. But their parents had changed them too, had put them into molds and though they had tried to grow into them to fit those visions, they’d abandoned it.

They understood that now, that they scrolled through the phone. Wynne looked up and down a few times, to try and compare the Eleanor Pine they saw on the screen and the Nora the Bear they saw in front of them. Somehow, through the story the other told, they grew to understand not only her, but themself too. “That’s not right, still. That they wanted you to be something that you didn’t want to be. That they didn’t want you to be happy like that.” They had both been wronged by their parents, hadn’t they? And wasn’t Wynne, in some crude way, happier than ever? Even if they lied here now, weak and ripped open? They had friends, people who wanted them alive — people who thought them worth saving. They were afraid, but no longer of dying: they were afraid of living, which was also just an exhilaration. “I’m glad you ran away. Not that you had to, but that you did. And that I did too. Even if this town has shown us some ugly things. It’s also given us good things, right? Choice, and friends.” They handed back the phone. “I like you better the way you look now. Even if I sometimes wonder if those piercings hurt to get.” They smiled a little. 

“Oh! Ah. Yes that makes more sense. I mean, there are also immortal people.” Like vampires, clearly. “But you were born the way you are, right?” That prospect that Nora offered made Wynne beam a little, nodding their head seriously. “Exactly. On our own terms, or at least a little. I’m glad … you’re saying these things. Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting this much out of life. But I don’t always think it’s selfish any more.”

And suddenly Nora was gone, leaving Wynne in that big, yet small hospital bed and contemplating all the wisdom they’d gained. Nora, though blunt, had given them much to think about, allowing them to look at their life through an outsider’s perspective. They didn’t mind the moment of solitude, but when Nora reappeared they were glad — because for a while they were worried she’d just left. They managed to catch the first jell-o, much to their surprise, but the others just fell against their body, their hands not quick enough. “Wow. That’s — so much. Thank you.” They chuckled a little, amused by their treasure.

They didn’t look as amused as they answered Nora’s question, though, but rather determined and serious: “I’m going to fight to stay alive.”

#chatzy #chatzy: wynne #call this place my home

[namibozsu]

Thinking about the potential long con and maybe the funniest possible reality that couldve been changing umeis entire story to be more palletable to a general audience; no more furries just regular human people instead. umeis still the weird alien octopus who starts mimicking a catgirl. i work on it and draw it as a comic very passionately. its kind of obscure at first but eventually gets a cult following. Out of so much overwhelming support, it eventually gets turned into a cartoons. an anime cartoons even. its very relaxing for the first few episodes, people whove never read the comic love it they think its just a sweet charming alien slice of life thing then it reaches episode 9 out of 12 in the first season. Suddenly the art style drastically changes at the end. its late at night in the facility. one guy stayed behind to get some extra work done. earlier in the episode umei was seen, in the bg, showing agitation body language. Umei crawls through the vents and enters the office and partially eats that guy in full bloody gruesome detail. and then after that episode it goes back to normal and back to mostly slice of life. I just want to see what kind of reactions people would have to that, from people who only watched the show version. I think it would be funny. If i had enough dedication this could even happen in this reality maybe. assuming i live long enough for that

#rambling rn #anyways if you didnt know umei has eaten a guy before #they didnt fully eat him. #just most of him. #someone came into the room and umei had to flee back into the airvents and nestled back into their tank.

[queencolondarkwing]

“The Sound of Her Wings” and The Death Positive Movement (Spoilers)

Since a lot of tumblr “Sandman” fans are only focusing on HobxDream shipping (tumblr simplifying complex media to obsessive shipping - shocker), I figured it would be nice for someone to talk about Death as presented in the comics and show.  How changing the order to Hob sharing an episode with Death was one of the smartest ways to do a TV adaptation.

This part in the comics didn’t get followed by the Hob story.  In fact - the part with Franklin specifically had a bit more to it if I remember right. I love that Neil took the show a different route which left us with a really overall nuanced view on dying. While the story of Hob starts with Death - her personification doesn’t keep playing an active role.  However death (lowercase) does.  Death as a concept always underlies immortality tales.  To die is a fact of life - so to defy it creates an alternate state of life.  An absence of death almost brings more focus to death than death itself does. So this show made an EXCELLENT parallel in these two stories. Especially when Death’s message was how Dream should connect more with the humans that they are to serve.  Which is what he is doing with his little Hob experiment and with Shakespeare.

Now onto the Death part of the episode.  She brings up that when life was new that nobody really feared death.  One may argue that this is contrary to our innate biological programming.  After all, one classification of living things is drive to stay alive.  It is a common misconception to assign that to individuals of a species, but many species have individuals knowingly die in order to reproduce (octopi) or for the good of the many (ants).  Individualism doesn’t exist naturally in nature or even in most of human civilization.  The West largely pushed for individualism instead of collectivism or tribalism. However, a large part of human experience in history is being willing to sacrifice or die for an ethnic group, religion, region, or familial unit. Women willing to die in childbirth.  Men willing to die in wars.  Death was still tragic (cultural expectations around grief and widows is fascinating) but at several points in history was viewed more casually than it was today.  Even in the West - focus was on having lots of kids in case a few die.  Many didn’t receive names right away which is why so many graves for babies and toddler just say “Baby” on them.

I’m still terrified of death.  Most of us are.  The thought of just...ending. Of life existing outside of ourselves.  I’ve been extremely suicidal in the past and have to watch myself for ideation rearing its ugly head and I STILL fear death most of the time when I really think deeply about it.

This episode is important.  So was the comic character.  Death being positive and comforting.  Death itself being compared to birth.  Something that can happen to any person on any day.  On your honeymoon, at birth, to violence, or at home in our old age. Few people choose how or when they go.

It reminds me of something I’ll occasionally read about called the Death Positive Movement.  Don’t worry - it isn’t a murder cult.  It is a movement around appreciating life, but also accepting that all truly living things must die.  They fight to end the stigma around discussing death.  What death means.  What it looks like.  For a fact of life - death is treated as a taboo subject, which only makes it scarier for people who know it is happening to them.  Death wasn’t wrong for saying most people need a friendly face.  Viewing Death as a gentle voice instead of a scythe wielding cloaked asshole makes the process less scary.  I suggest people read more at orderofthegooddeath.com/death-positive-movement for a good intro to these concepts.

Now for someone with suicide ideation like me - I was grateful that Hob’s story followed the Death story.  Because while Death is inevitable and something to be accepted - we shouldn’t seek it out.  Humans can change.  Society and circumstances can change.  Hob himself went from curious to rich asshole to miserable drunk to slaver to savvy business dude. He improved. He grew and learned.  And the world around him did as well. There is a lesson I found in the order of these two stories.  Death is inevitable and an inevitable part of life (since I highly doubt a real Hob is out there lol), but life itself is equally valuable.  We should treasure every second that we get of it.  As someone with deep traumas and pain, it helped me to see Hob say he “has so much to live for” at his worst moments. We can destigmatize death without hating on life.  Death is a part of life.  John Dee said in episode 5 that all stories going on long enough end with death, but this episode proves that the stories are still worth living out til that last moment.  Our stories all ending in death doesn’t mean everything before that point doesn’t matter. Our purpose is our function and our function is to live til our bodies give out on us in one way or another.

#queencolondarkwing #dream of the endless #death of the endless #hob gadling #the sound of her wings #sandman #spoilers #death positive #death positivity #death acceptance #fear of death #neil gaiman #niel gaiman #the sandman #the sandman netflix #netflix the sandman #suicide #tw suicide #tw death

[bobeatspie300]

It's been a hot minute since we talked. I crave oc lore tho

ill give you one of my latest batches of character deets a character thats gonna show up later in my comic, just for a short story, which will probably make the 2 people invested mad(if i do it right) her name is currently Noris and she is a new deciple of The Tree. she was found on the shore of the nowhere space near one of its great roots and was nursed to health under the temples care, but watch out!!! She feels she owes a life debt, and has very little memory of her life before being revived on the shore(a common occurrence[the memory thing]), and has thus decided to follow The Tree. And the sprouting is coming up, a quinquennial holy day and festival among followers of the tree, and the day where she will be officially inducted into the convent. obviously there are things at play that are obvious to sisters of the tree, and not noris, but getting too deep into that could spoil the skeleton of a plot im still working on.

on a differing note, though honestly ive been thinking about making a second different commic about them(however if i do that now i will never finish a chapter of anything) Ive been working a lot on sophie and co, and the wizard cult, and the other members of their cohort. you, personally probably remember sophie and erihk (maybe), but ive been working more on them and should also give the gist anyhow. Sophie, as a wee babe was selected for special wizzard training at the awsome place for wizards who protect the world. except the wizards are just the military and also kind of cultish, not that sophie thinks or knows that, as she grew up there and erihk and the others mostly did the military stuff. Sophie doesnt even know about erihk until she does a stupid wizard duel, almost dies, breaks her own soul, and erihk decides its far overdue for a jail break.

ive figured out that theres also a divine almost paladin-ish figure in there with them, though i dont know xir name yet, i do know they have this metallic and angellic aesthetic, and deep religious guilt except its about wizard shit. theres also a oupy.

heres a recent sketch

#oc #my oc #priestess of the tree #coven of the tree #The Tree #v&&v #vim&&victor #it has indeed been a minute. nice to hear from you!!! #sophie and co

[thebiballerina]

Resource/Greatest Hits Masterpost

Resources

All my resource lists can be found easily (and probably with nicer formatting) on my Dreamwidth at https://thebiballerina.dreamwidth.org/. A wider selection and the most up-to-date versions of the lists will be there, though I do try to update the lists everywhere I post them.

Sideblog for Tumblr resource/advice posts: @random-useful-posts (There is an index in its pinned post.)

Sideblog for regular self-care reminders: @timelyreminder

Fanfiction Commenting Guide: Tumblr, Dreamwidth

Easy Fanfic Library (AO3 tag organization with downloaded fanfic): Tumblr, Dreamwidth

Hotlines and Resources: Tumblr (at my self-care blog @timelyreminder), Dreamwidth

Free (Legal) Digital Media: Tumblr, Dreamwidth

Writing Resources: Dreamwidth

Free Media Creation and Editing Software: Dreamwidth

Free mathematics resources (specifically for college/university students who struggle with mathematics, but may be useful to others as well): Tumblr

Calming Resources and Activities: Dreamwidth

With regards to the note in my bio about copy-pasting rather than screenshotting text, I highly recommend seeing the pinned post of @can-i-make-image-descriptions for advice on accessibility for Tumblr users. (They also have a post of description templates.) I'm not shaming anyone and I'm not perfect with accessibility, but please do not expect people to reply to something they cannot read.

Greatest Hit Posts

"Rating Band Names as Commands": the original post and my later laments, record of the firstborn I've been promised, the tag

Sleeping in summer as described by Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold", the comic: the comic, the music video, the tag

A Jigsaw trap for Sherlock Holmes adaptors writing Irene Adler: the original post, free ebook and audiobook editions of A Scandal in Bohemia, accessibility in murder traps is important, commentary on Irene being described as an "adventuress", the tag

Fix-it Fanfiction Statistics and Leverage: The Power of Leverage (the original post and John Rogers' tweeted reaction), Fix-it Fanfiction by Fandom: The spreadsheets and nerd stuff, "The Leverage Test" tag

Where Else You Can Find Me

Dreamwidth: thebiballerina

Mastodon: thebiballerina on fandom.ink

Star Trek sideblog: @dilithiumkristal

I am a co-creator and mod of the Land of Myth Discord server for gen BBC Merlin fandom. See the merlingen community on Dreamwidth or message me for a link.

Other Notes

My profile picture was created by @sunshine--sketches.

My username should be parsed as "the bi ballerina". If you have been misinterpreting it for years, you are not the only one.

Requests I Wish I Didn't Have To Add

Don't Harass People Based on My Words. (If an action is harassment when targeted at a good person, it is also harassment against anyone else.)

Tumblr has a rampant harassment culture problem. Most users do not recognize their behavior as harassment. Thus, if you just thought to yourself that this doesn't apply to you, please indulge me and take a moment to read on. It can't hurt.

These behaviors are wrong and unhelpful, even if they are targeted against someone truly horrible. Don't feed the trolls, don't bolster bigots' persecution narratives, and don't help cults further indoctrinate their recruits.

I do not condone any of the following actions. I will block anyone I find engaging in that sort of behavior.

Don't initiate direct contact with anyone because of a negative interaction I had with them or a criticism I made. This includes messages, asks, contact through other platforms, etc. (Basically, anything other than commenting in the relevant public posts.)

Don't use a negative interaction or criticism I made as supporting evidence in call-out posts or other methods of spreading assertions about others. I will not tell anyone what to think about a person, beyond providing/correcting factual context as needed, so everyone can form opinions for themselves.

Don't target individuals because of a trend I criticized, whether in media, fandom, society, or otherwise. Criticism of a pattern does not imply condemnation of any singular instance following that pattern.

Don't demand disclosure (or proof) of someone's private information for the sake of justifying/criticizing their engagement with specific topics. Private information includes identities, demographics, relationships, trauma, life experiences, etc.

Don't unexpectedly involve creators in negative discussions of their work. I do not want anyone to be bothered due to my personal opinions in a discussion that was intended for fandom alone.

What I Mean When I Discuss Art, Media, and Fandom

I frequently discuss media, art, fiction, and fandom, and the ways these things relate to real-life issues. That is probably the most frequent way you will see me discuss social justice issues on this blog, as I do not use this particular platform for activism.

However, the existence of a relationship between real-life issues and art does not mean that relationship is easily definable, consistent, bidirectional, or one-to-one.

Nothing I say is ever meant to suggest that preferences in fiction (whether creation or consumption) are indicative of real-life desires/morality. Fiction can cause real-life harm, but that does not mean fictional harm causes real-life harm. Discussion of fictional characters and their actions may be related to similar discussions of real-life people, but they are not the same thing, nor should they be approached in the same way.

I like discussion, not passing judgment on individual tastes. In this context, please just take me literally; my words are not secretly implying condemnation or endorsing harassment.

That applies in both directions: I don't support efforts to pass judgment in this manner. However, I also am not obligated to reassure people acting in defensiveness against my assumed intent/implications rather than my actual statements. (Furthermore, while you may associate specific implications with a word/statement, that does not guarantee that I mean those implications rather than the literal definition.)

#pinned post #resources #masterpost #land of myth discord #anti harassment #anti harassment policy #sigh

[tumblingxelian]

https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0657.html

This speech by Xykon about the nature of power to Varsuuvius really does feel like it applies to Ironwood to a T, albeit if Salem was saying a variation of it to him, it'd probably be more faux-compassionate and evil mother-like.

And it's true. Ironwood doesn't truly understand power outside of a very narrow scope of the Atlesian Military or technology, or using brute force to make others obey him.

Ironwood's army is finite and limited by the number of people willing to fight for his cause, his resources available to make his machines of war, and his own ability to properly command. Salem's army is nigh-infinite, and they do not need sleep, rest or need to worry about casualties.

Whatever technology Ironwood has can be undermined by finding their weaknesses, something Salem did by having Watts, and only further undermined by Ironwood's lack of care for Mantle, giving them an easy opening.

But it's not even just from that perspective. It's also a matter of Ironwood having very little power himself.

He knows little to nothing about war outside of skirmishes in an otherwise peaceful era, while Salem has been doing nothing but fighting a war for centuries.

He only has fear/respect from a cult of personality ready made from his society's indoctrination and blind obedience to the powerful, from a society that put him in power as a result of its warped ideals, and can just as easily take that power away from him if it wanted to. He cares nothing for understanding his enemies (he still never sent those scouts like Ozpin pointed out to him in V2), presuming to rule through brute force and treating everyone who isn't him as a replaceable cog, which only ensures that any differences are guaranteed to eventually come into conflict with him.

Salem has fear and respect because of her talent for manipulation and understanding of the underlying roots of her follower's desires, thus allowing her to maintain her hold on them under the illusion of choice even as she pulls their strings. While they are interchangeable and replaceable, she has the benefit of being able to outlast them and simply alter her plans to deal with it, and the skill to manipulate them well enough to get them under control if she deems it necessary. And she makes the serious effort to truly understand her enemies, allowing her to make them destroy themselves with their own flaws without ever needing to put a finger on them.

The simple reality is evident: Ironwood was a damn fool to think he could ever match her power to power, because not only was his understanding of power as shallow as the facade of Atlas being powerful and great, but he was outmatched in every aspect. Salem beat him not just in terms of raw power, but also in terms of her ability to use the variety of powers at her disposal effectively, while Ironwood kept on trying to make all of his power and resources funneled into essentially a club to beat down his weaker critics.

Without her power, Salem would be a gifted manipulator and mediator. Without his power, without Atlas, Ironwood would be nothing.

I honestly cant add anything more here, this is brilliantly put, kudos!

Though speaking of OOTS, I am also reminded of Xykon's other secret insights regarding power:

"Its not about how far you're willing to debase yourself before feeling bad. And me, I ripped off my own living flesh before I would admit to weakness. That, that right there is the difference between Evil with a capital E and your whiny evil but for a good cause crap. One gets to be butch, one gets to be bitch. Bitch."

Though that doesn't seem to be a thing Ironwood had an issue with, which does scan well with Oscar's "Then you're as dangerous as she is James" line.

#RWBY #Insightful

[stuckasmain]

The inherent fear to come from Bill being cast in The Crow reboot. Knowing damn well it’s going to lead to hoards of girls losing their minds over him and completely dumping the themes and plot from their brains as he’s the hot actor of the minute. It terrifies me. The story is something absolutely personal. It’s a love story, it’s a process of grief, it’s so many things and Brandon put so much into being true to the character. The original movie put so much effort into following the graphic novel, to referencing the smallest little things like Eric’s scar or the shells in his hair. Hearing about the reboot, how they’re going to make Hollywood style “changes” for no reason other then thinking they’re cool, subversive or breaking molds when it’s a smaller group. The Crow both the movie and graphic novel has a cult following of largely Alt people, quieter people etc and I’m getting worried. The amount of people who are going to flood in and only be able to see “haha Hot guy, cool explosion” terrifies me beyond words.

Now , dont mishear me. I’m not saying you have to have some deep connection and be able to analyze the smallest detail of a 30+ year old comic or have to be a certain person etc etc but I’m just saying there’s a reason people really don’t want this to be rebooted. Both from Brandon’s passing (and him giving possibly one of the best performances I’ve seen ever.), it’s original close connection with James, it’s standing as a story. It’s not something that should be rebooted for a buck. Especially considering it’s small, close following- it’s popular enough but never quite ‘mainstream’ beside its cursed reboot’s and the occasional YouTube video. I don’t want to downplay Bill as a actor, I just don’t see it. Using a popular actor gets a lot of buzz but usually ruins story telling? In that you can’t detach the actor and just see them and not a character. Why reboot the original? Which was SUCH a good movie with a lot of heart behind it, and dedication to being faithful, strong performances and killer soundtrack. I’d reboot some of the sequels… which all had really good concepts at their core but ultimately were twisted into something- Hollywood- by studio meddling and the fact it was the early 2000s which was a breed of its own.

My point is, if the remake actually.. goes through, is made and before all related media and spots get taken over by fans of a actor. (My true fear is that people will watch purely because their attraction to the actor and lose sight of- basically everything else? And it just turns into him. How hot. How cute. How sad it is to see him cry etc.) watch the original. If you can get your hands on the graphic novel I couldn’t recommend it enough. It’s such a good, heartbreaking story that - if this blog isn’t clear enough- I devoured and dissected and could forever. (. Highly recommend special additional for panels/segments added back in) There’s a lot to appreciate with it and a reason so many people love it.

#this was no way intended to be a attack but rather a worry as I can already see it happening in the tags… #it just hurts to see Hollywood reboot GOOD movies and good stories with nothing to add or alter but instead making it for money #and to meddle with what was already ? great? perfect? for no real reason then making wild changes #the crow #the crow 1994 #the crow 1989 #eric draven #the crow graphic novel #james o’barr #brandon lee #gothic movie #goth #the crow comic #reboots #modern Hollywood #alt #Hollywood #bill skarsgård #cult classic #90s action #drama #80s #90s movies

[fortressofserenity]

The Bats

When it comes to a programme like Arrow, the producers were going to use Batman but that fell through so they used some other character instead. Although the programme Arrow did experience a growth in fans outside of comics, I don’t think Arrow and its characters are this popular when compared to other franchises. I actually think it’s (still) not as popular as Batman and it shows, since the latter really does have more casual fans than Arrow does. They may not know that much Batman lore but it’s something they encounter to a doable degree in some manner, a lot more than they do with Arrow and even Felicity Smoak for that matter.

But that would mean Felicity Smoak isn’t really as popular as her fans make her out to be, I suspect if Harley Quinn isn’t well-known to other people (since I know somebody who just recently heard of her) then Felicity herself isn’t well-known to others either. Possibly much less famous than her because there’s not a lot of casual Arrow fans to begin with, so the chances of somebody knowing who Felicity Smoak is would really be slim and slimmer still in real life. Admittedly internet fame doesn’t always translate well to offline fame, or vice versa where an author like PD James may not draw in a devoted cult following the way a Neil Gaiman would.

But she has more casual readers instead, or almost any other writer working in a non-geeky school of fiction. Arrow would fall into this in a way, since it may have an outspoken internet following. But not a lot of people are obsessive about it, not necessarily because they don’t hyperfocus on it, but that it’s really not that popular outside of online circles. For every media property that’s just as popular in the real world, there are those that are only popular online. Batman most likely falls into the former to a degree, but Arrow largely falls into the latter.

#batman #dc comics #batman comics #arrow #arrowverse #felicity smoak #batman fandom

[wordforwordbiblecomic]

Was the Golden Calf an Apis Bull?

In the Bible comic, I now need to draw the Golden Calf of Exodus 32. I’ve thought for a long time that this would be an Apis Bull so I did some research into whether this is actually likely…

What is an Apis Bull

The Apis was a live bull that was considered to be a sort of physical incarnation of the god Ptah; the "soul of Ptah" or "herald of Ptah, kept in the temple of Ptah, in Memphis. The bull was, therefore, a kind of servant or intermediary, who was itself divine. It was revealed to the populace in a procession and its movements were interpreted as oracles and were thought to reflect the responses of Ptah. It was fed the best foods, slept on luxurious bedding, given hot baths, massaged, and perfumed and upon its death, the body was embalmed, and then solemnly interred in the temple of Serapis at Memphis.

The Apis is usually depicted as a black bull a sun disk between his horns and an uraeus snake emerging before the disk.

The Apis is described by the Greek researcher Herodotus:

The Apis is the calf of a cow which is never afterwards able to have another. The Egyptian belief is that a flash of light descends upon the cow from heaven, and this causes her to conceive Apis. The Apis-calf has distinctive marks: it is black, with a white square [or triangle] on its forehead, the image of an eagle on its back, the hair on its tail double, and a scarab under its tongue.

(More info on Apis : https://www.virtual-egyptian-museum.org/Collection/FullVisit/Collection.FullVisit-JFR.html?../Content/MET.LL.00887.html&0 )

Was the Golden Calf an Apis?

I think the key thing to remember is that the Israelites had lived in Egypt for generations, the people Moses lead might have been genetically Hebrew, but they were also Egyptian nationals through and through. Some of the multitudes that left of the Exodus were even non-Jewish (Exodus 12:38).

When the people thought they’d lost Moses, they turned back to their old ways. I do not believe they plucked the idea of a bull out of thin air or as a lottery, it was something they already knew.

On this website “Why a Golden Calf and not any other symbol?” Jonathan Frankel writes:

There were other Egyptian and Canaanite bull cults, e.g. Buchis, Mnevis, El, which could have been the inspiration for the Golden Calf, however, the specific chronicity, procedures and celebrations of the Apis Calf are highly suggestive that it was the motivation behind the Golden Calf. Moshe [Moses] had been on Har Sinai for 40 days and presumed dead and the Golden Calf arrived on the 40th day, just as an Apis Calf is prepared and revealed after 40 days following the death of its predecessor. The calf was made of gold, just as the Apis Calf arrived at the temple in a golden cabin. The people wanted an intermediate to serve between them and god, so Aharon created for them the religious entity they were familiar with in Egypt that served as an intermediate between them and god. And just as the Egyptians would celebrate the arrival of a new Apis Calf, so too the Israelites celebrated the arrival of their new intermediary. 

Next is the statement which is the source of the above statements:

“Since the Apis Bull was a living creature, it would eventually die, prompting… the search for a new Apis bull…. This new Apis would be a calf…. they took it to Nilopolis for 40 days of feeding after which time it was transferred via a boat inside a gold cabin to the temple of Ptah where it was greeted by the people who came to view their reincarnated god and hoped to have their questions answered.” (A Popular Account of the Ancient Egyptians: Volume 1: John Gardner Wilkinson)

As these elements pertain to a living bull, if the Golden calf was a statue (see below) it would not have been able to move, but this may have been the symbolic significance.

If they viewed the Golden Calf as a sort of reincarnation of Moses (whom they presumed dead) and a divine entity then it makes a little more sense of the statement said about the Golden Calf “Then they said, ‘These are your gods, Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt.’” (Exodus 32:4b)

Examples of Apis Bull statues are evident in this era (the example below is from within approx 50 years of the Exodus).

Looking at many commentaries and Archaeological study bibles most seem to land on the opinion that the Golden calf was “most likely” an Apis Bull.

I made my own mind up when I read a different website which struggled with the language used regarding Aarons's creation of the bull. Exodus 32:4 is rendered in the NIV “He took what they handed him and made it into an idol cast in the shape of a calf, fashioning it with a tool.”

How exactly did Aaron form this calf? The only other use of the word cheret suggests that it means a stylus:

ישעיה ח:א וַיֹּאמֶר יְ־הוָה אֵלַי קַח לְךָ גִּלָּיוֹן גָּדוֹל וּכְתֹב עָלָיו בְּחֶרֶט אֱנוֹשׁ. : Isa 8:1 Then the Lord said to me, “Get yourself a large sheet and write on it with a human stylus” (my translation).

Some translations rendered it in Exodus according to this meaning:

- LXX: “formed them with a graving tool” (ἔπλασεν αὐτὰ ἐν τῇ γραφίδι);

- Onkelos: וְצָר יָתֵיהּ בְּזִיפָא, “and he formed it with a chisel,”

- Martin Luther’s 1545 translation: “designed it with a stylus” (entwarf's mit einem Griffel),

- King James (KJV): “fashioned it with a graving tool.”

I think this detail of this engraving tool/stylus in the language which translators struggle to conceive of as useful in moulding a golden sculpture is actually a big conformation of the gold calf being an Apis, to my mind.

Look closely at the idol and the engraved patterns around the neck, the eagle over the shoulders and flanks, the blanket and other lines. (Also on the idol from c. 1400 BC above)

Who is Ptah

The fact that the Apis is connected to Ptah is an additional reason why the connection makes sense. As I mentioned above, the Israelite people were Egyptian nationals born and bred, and their understanding of YHWH was likely coloured by the national religion of the Egyptian pantheon, or at the very least they might think about which of the pantheon of gods would most equate to YHWH. So who was Ptah? Wikipedia states it succinctly:

Ptah is an Egyptian creator god who conceived the world and brought it into being through the creative power of speech. A hymn to Ptah dating to the Twenty-second Dynasty of Egypt says Ptah "crafted the world in the design of his heart," and the Shabaka Stone, from the Twenty-Fifth Dynasty, says Ptah "gave life to all the gods and their kas [souls] as well, through this heart and this tongue." […]

Epiphets: Ptah the begetter of the first beginning, Ptah lord of truth, Ptah lord of eternity, Ptah who listens to prayers, Ptah master of ceremonies, Ptah master of justice.

As the pre-existent creator god and lord of truth and justice, you can imagine how the Israelites would equate him with YHWH. If they did and sort a new intermediary between them and God then following the pattern for Ptah is somewhat understandable.

What if the Golden Calf was alive?

I also wondered if it is possible that the Golden Calf could have been a living Apis bull. I.e. a living calf dressed up in golden finery or a golden covering perhaps. Looking at the verses it all seems very possible except for Exodus 32:4 which says it is moulded and 32:24 where Aaron says (stupidly) he put the gold in the fire and the calf came out. So it doesn’t seem that the text can support a living Apis Bull in gold.

Other Ideas

Some scholars suggest the calf was merely a pedestal or mount, as other idols are depicted atop a bull. The idea was that the golden calf was a pedestal for an invisible God. This however doesn’t seem consistent with the language used about the idol and the reaction of Moses and God to its creation. If the Golden Bull was supposed be a divine intermediary replacing Moses and telling them the will of YHWH, then the reaction does fit well.

Conclusion

For the reasons stated of the connection to Ptah, the people’s desire for a new intermediary, the engraving work on the statue and the cultural connections I think it is very likely that what they created was an idol statue of an Apis Bull.

Here is the uncoloured image I created for Acts 7: 40-41

If you like the Word for Word Bible Comic and want to support the project why not consider becoming a patron! From just $1 a month you can really help!

[trashimoto]

Im telling you as iconic and hillarious as riverdale is it really fucking kicked reboot culture into high gear. I feel like it really popularized the idea of like… “a reboot doesnt have to be accurate at all to the sourcw material” which is objectively not true? Idk RAS is in a strange position where he not only is an archie author but alsoa. Huge archie fan but still made the show like that. I think that people dont really usually know this or fully undersrand that or get how mant ridiculously obscurw refwrences are in that show. Not to say its a “good” show i dont actively watch it and i think it has its fair share of problems considering fuckign RAS wrote it, if youve read afterlife with archie then you know this guy os just WEIRD. I think that people took ita popularity and were like okay now were gonna make edgy reboots of everything and have them not relate back to the source material bc riverdale was so popular. Which is silly because like its not like Mindy Kaling is some like devout scooby doo fan. Why scooby doo? The answer for “why archie” for riverdale at least can be explained by Well its made by a guy whos been writing archie media for decades even before he worked for them (see archies weird fantasy), he writes archie horror for the company, and the juxtaposition of fucking Normal ass archie comics with the most insane ahit ever IS pretty funny. Thats why its so quotable. But like its not like the average person knows any if this shit they jist know Hey that riverdale show used the archie chaeacrers for unrelated shit we should do that with other shows!! But like…with shows like these youre always going to be eliminating a huge part of your audience which is people who are faithful fans of the original source. Of course not everyone, but also at the same time probably every archie fan that i know who likes riverdale either started watching it ironically or likes it ironically to some degree. Again this isnt a discussion on whether its “good” or not, but like at least with riverdale even tho normal classic archie likers are going to be much harder to get to like the shwo based, RAS is a huge afchie fan so he puts in a lot of tiny super specific archie media references as well which is pretty fucking insane. But like its not gonna work qith anything else. Hell its debatable whether it even worked for riverdale because like archie fans dont interact with it the same way genuine non archie riverdale fans do. Archie fans who like riverdale think its camp and it is. You were attacked by a friggin bear? Anyways like Velma isnt gonna have that same appeal nor will any orher stupid reboot like that bc it doesnt have that passion. Its not like Mindy Kaling made a gay scooby doo musical and got sent a cease and desist. Idk rambly but like i feel like a lot of tbis reboot culture really was sparked by riverdalw and they dont understand why that ahow has the cult following that it does

[thefilmsimps]

Bros (dir. Nicholas Stoller)

-Jere Pilapil- 7.5/10 OK, straight people, listen. I was busy the weekend Bros came out. I was under the impression that I was the only one, and that everyone else would go see this. What happened? I think it’s funny that there was some blowback to Billy Eichner saying this movie bombed because straight folk didn’t come. He’s probably right! There is probably a sizable percentage of the American straight people population who would quietly not see a romcom about two gay men! But also, I had no idea this existed, and I follow Eichner on social media! Studios are getting worse and worse at advertising theatrically released comedies. Anyway, Eichner stars in this, a romcom about two gay men. Eichner plays Bobby, a podcaster and a curator for the first ever LGBTQ museum. The latter is much more important to the plot, with the podcaster bit seemingly only existing for him to provide a character-establishing monologue at the top of the movie. He meets Aaron (Luke MacFarlane) at a party. Bobby’s a loud, educated and proud gay man, while Aaron is quieter, less engaged politically but still very sweet. Much like Bobby’s first-ever LGBTQ museum, Bros knows its importance in the tapestry of mainstream queer entertainments (a theatrically released gay romcom), and it tries hard to use its (overly-presumed, unfortunately) visibility to make points about queer life, straight people’s perception of it, straight actors playing gay, etc. etc. etc. Bobby’s outspokenness becomes a bludgeon with which to strike home some messages the movie can’t fit organically into the plot. It’s all opinions that I, a leftist, agree with, but delivered like the long riffs from yesterday’s Judd Apatow movies (Apatow produces this). As with those movies, these asides add up, especially as the movie bloats itself in subplots and arcs. A romcom is about people falling in love, but the audience doesn’t necessarily love the characters as much as they love each other, you know. Thankfully, the bones of the genre are still sturdy when given life via a good script and performances. For all its faults for pacing, the relationship between Bobby and Aaron is extremely sweet in its buildup. Their contrasts, in personality and physically, and warmth are beautiful. There’s an appealing odd couple quality to them that makes just watching them a joyful, heartwarming experience. Eventually romcom stuff has to happen, and you acutely feel the writers stretching to concoct a reason to create a dramatic split at the end of act two. Once they fall for one another, it feels absurd that they’d split, but it’s another sloppy aspect of a very well-conceived romantic comedy. And that comedy is there, too! The other museum curators are conceived as different sects of queer identity (Bobby is a gay cis man, there’s a take-no-prisoners lesbian, a black trans woman, an always-persecuted bisexual (nice to see Jim Rash!)), and their interactions play out like Twitter in miniature, a clever gag. Aaron’s briefly-seen relationship with his brother is a hoot. The sidelines are stacked with great comic actors. Bros’ biggest enemy in its theatrical run, I think, was lackadaisical advertising. But secondarily, sometimes like many historical firsts, it lets the history of the moment get to it. It falters in some very frustrating ways, which only become more frustrating as it reveals that it got the basics down pat. Judiciously cutting a few lines here or there and a scene or two could have made this a classic. As it is, it’s just a very good movie that will probably find a cult on streaming.

#movie review #7.5/10 #Nicholas Stoller #romcom #2022 movies

[trustcustomer]

Bridget everett man

#BRIDGET EVERETT MAN SERIES#

This year has proved a true breakout time for the 45-year-old, zaftig Kansas native.

#BRIDGET EVERETT MAN SERIES#

She's attained cult status and a significant LGBT following in NYC thanks to performances at Joe's Pub, while she's reached larger audiences via touring, the Comedy Central special Gynecological Wonder, albums and appearances on buddy Amy Schumer's series Inside Amy Schumer. ( Sitting on a face is not outside the six-foot-tall performer's repertoire. Singer-comedian-actress Bridget Everett likes to call her act "alt-cabaret" thanks to its mix of raunchy song, storytelling and audience interaction. That’s the show.This article shared 2481 times since Wed Aug 30, 2017 “I want everybody to feel like they’re at last call at a party and talking to somebody, feeling like they’re going to get laid. “It’s a massive party, I’m giving it 150 per cent,” she said. When it comes to what audiences can expect from one of Everett’s shows, her answer is quite simple. “It’s hard for me to communicate to a friend but in an audience it’s important that there’s a place where people can go to feel like they’re being heard, it’s like seeing yourself reflected onstage.” “It’s important to have somebody to look to as a way to make you laugh or connect to some emotion. “I think it’s everything for people,” she said. She believes humour and entertainment can be important for people that are part of marginalised communities like those that identify as sexual or gender diverse. “It’s not what I set out to do, but those are the people I want to make laugh and smile because when I’m writing a song I think what would make my fans and friends laugh, and my friends are largely LGBTI,” she said.įor Sydney’s Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras festival this year Everett brought her Pound It show down under, performing at the festival’s first ever comedy gala. In a way, I’ve grown up with the queer community and they’ve allowed me to be who I want to be.”Įverett said despite her core audience identifying as sexual or gender diverse, her comedy isn’t constructed specifically appease them – though it often happens incidentally. “It’s a language and a common ground where we both feel safe… I need them as much as they need me. “As a community they embrace that and love it, and also just in my own personal life most of my friends are gay, or lesbians, or trans, and they’re the people I feel most comfortable with. “I’ve never been able to put my finger on it, but I think they appreciate someone who’s willing to take risks and go off the rails, live dangerously,” she said. She mostly attributes it to her brazen and confronting style of comedy. “It’s always largely been an LGBTI audience coming to my shows and even though I get more and more straight people, for me my family will always be queer in some sense.”ĭespite the omnipresence of queer fans throughout Everett’s career, she said she’s never been sure why that is. “I can’t remember who said this but they told me the gay community always finds you, they’re always the first to discover the newest thing, and that was the case for me,” she said. While her longstanding career has blossomed and progressed in many ways, Everett said her LGBTI fan base has remained stagnant. She will also feature in two upcoming films this year: as the mother of an unlikely aspiring rapper in Patti Cake$ and in Fun Mom Dinner to engage in wine-soaked hijinks. However, over time her craft has developed and seen her become a favourite of fellow brazen comic Amy Schumer who featured Everett in both her film Trainwreck and television series Inside Amy Schumer. Initially she began telling stories onstage that were neither refined nor finessed and performed cover songs. “I’m not saying ‘look at me I’m a woman’ but I can be very confronting to the audience which in itself is political.”Īs a classically trained opera singer who also regularly frequented karaoke bars in the early stages of her career, Everett believes she very much stumbled into cabaret and comedy as a natural middle ground. Advertisement “I think just by nature of what I’m doing I’m shining a light on things like sexism,” she said.

#Bridget everett man