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#its just so much effort i cba

alilarew23 · 6 months

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hey :) i rly cannot be bothered to DO anything for my manifestation w sp. i just wanna decide and say its done and think ab sth else, without entertaining opposite stories. is that ok? idk if thats changing self. i just rly dont wanna do anything. not so much as to change the 3d and get fast results but, bc ive been ‘trying’ for so long i cba. but i still ‘want’ it. i don’t wanna move on just bc i havent got it yet. i just dont wanna affirm that i am chosen or stop n feel how it feels to be chosen bc often i feel absolutely nothing. like, ‘how does it feel u went on a date w him last week?’ nothing at all honestly 🥹 so idk if thats changing self or is okay. at times i do entertain the opposite but ive decided thats stopping NOW. like… just stating its already mine n moving onnnn coz im tired of trying !! me in that relationship seems rly happy n carefree whenever i imagine her but physically i know im not always happy giggly bc i CBA but i still know i am her within? ik this a lot, sorry. i just know i am meant to have my dream relationship where i am cared for and loved. its about time i do this!

yup! decide with conviction that either you guys are already back together or are 100% getting back together--doesn't really matter imo, either way, it's a done deal--and don't entertain/give any attention/power to anything that goes against your decision. embody the best version of yourself and know it into being. you wouldn't be happy and carefree 24/7 in a relationship with him--no one is, even the most loved/in love person on the planet--so you don't have to be that now. just know (feel) yourself to be inherently loved, cared for, prioritized, etc. by the very fact of being you (you don't have to affirm this if you don't feel like it), and go about your life. if you've decided you're getting back together, you're getting back together. that's it. you're already at your end. no effort needed. plus, it sounds like you've "tried" for so long that your inner man/subconscious/whatev you wanna call it will be like oh she's done trying she finally accepted she has it lol here he is! (as long as you actually have accepted it). you are meant to have your dream relationship, you do have it, just be it.

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student-in-nightraven · 1 year

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hii, could i rq a matchup with anyone from obey me, twst or kamisama kiss? ☆⌒ヽ(*'､^*)

im a bi girl, 5'3, intp-t 4w5 + aquarius, id say im some kind of ambiverted like 60% awkward-reserved-anti-social introvert and 40% chaotic, rambly, all over the place, once i start i dont stop extrovert?? depends on my mood i think (˘∀˘) for some random traits i'm erratic, eccentric, conscientious, creative, empathetic, unserious, sarcastic, not a team player and definitely come across as strange to literally anyone not used to me

hmmmm some hobbies i have are baking, writing, editing and arts + crafts (drawing, painting, making my own random stuff like candles, soap, stickers) - very practical very fun 🧝‍♀️ i also like gaming when i have time which is basically always bc im lazy and hate work, i leave everything last minute and procrastinate so much bc i and i'd rather be doing what i want instead of boring stuff 😒👎 it all ends up rushed and low effort unless im passionate abt it. probably why i'm also never on time but that's also bc i love sleeping

if i had to pick a label for whatever my style's supposed to be {bc i just dress in whatever looks good tbh} i'd say a hybrid of grunge and indie maybe💪😘 i take pride in my dress sense actually i think its gojus (μ_μ)

i have collections/mini collections of a couple things - plushies, crystals, stickers, bracelets and i keep anything and everything people might give me, i've done it as long as i can remember, like not even gifts just if someone gives me a rock or a piece of stationery or origami etc it'll be in my possession forever i'm too sentimental to get rid of anything, i have so much scattered everywhere it's unfunny 🧍‍♀️ i think my love languages are physical affection bc i love closeness altho im crap with emotional stuff but words of affirmation and mushy fluffy stuff can be pretty neat {even if it's embarrassing and awkward xox} + gifts bc i love buying myself stuff and receiving presents, i also like giving them but i feel like i'm spending too little or too much or compare it to what they give back to me and feel like it's not good enough or what they'd want bc i'm usually either too stingy or spend too much and think too much + feel bad when it feels like i don't give back to people as much as they give to me in any sense?? | (• -•)|

i love purple, literature, rock/pop/dance/techno music, space, halloween, history, things that smell nice/scented stuff, philosophy, nature, horror, psychology, fantasy, sweet/sour/salty foods, and animals {especially my bunnies ofc, my pride and joy <3} so im working towards becoming a vet bc im good w science and i'd definitely rather look after them than humans bc i am not a people person i'd fail miserably xox

i don't like ppl who are ignorant or inconsiderate bc they're annoying and punchable, my family, the ocean bc it's scary and doing embarrassing stuff which tbh is basically everything smh

anyways i tried to condense whatever i could think of LMAO but i cba to do anymore 💀💌 thank u!!

The Kamisama requests always make me happy:')

I match you with..

...Mizuki!

The most gentle and sweet lover in the whole world.

He matches you like CRAZY, soulmates real;

Loves being chaotic with you, getting caught up in shenanigans and being lovey dovey with you;

He just randomly snuggles up to you whether it's in his snake form or human form, if snake form let's out occasional cute bloops that you die for, he also does the cute snake yawn, he knows it's cute and he's doing it on PURPOSE;

I hc that mizuki is great at portraits and has painting sessions with you in which you 2 paint in peace and show eachother the piece;

You teach him how to properly bake so that he doesn't drop lizards in almost everything you bake-

"but-but it's for good luck:("

"Mizuki, no"

He encourages you not wanting to work and lazes off with you, if for no reason Tomoe comes over he annoyingly comments on how as your familiar mizuki shouldn't encourage this but who listens to him;

Spends mornings sleeping in with you, if you have to go to school he'll just transform into his snake form and accompany you there!

Loves your collection of crystals and other things, so he finds the most beautiful crystals just for you♡

Loves your bunnies and cradles them in his hands, your basically a family, your bunnies have a dad now;

So in all he's the perfect match for you, the most peaceful and loveable relationship ♡⁠˖

Thank you for the request dear annon! May you have a wonderful week<3

#x reader #matchups #mizuki x reader #kamisama kiss #kamisama kiss x reader #kamisama kiss mizuki #Kamisama kiss mizuki x reader #mizuki x reader kamisama kiss

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sojutrait · 1 year

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thank you so much!!! 😭💓💓💓hope u feel better omg fuck the plague

i just simply started making sims kdjfkdk

I DO im so happy season 2 has started it reminds me sm of old school sims 4 lets plays with storylines and such UGHHH im so glad that style is making a resurgence

thank u!! again im so unhelpful when it comes to advice on making sims bc i really jus Go for it 😭 i dont really have a different approach when it comes to making masc frame sims either

probably not bc its such a small action (like theres only 2 or 3 steps iirc) it just wouldnt be worth the hassle and i dont think that many ppl would find any use out of it😭😭

well,,,, tis the season 🤔

i highly doubt it dkfdkkd

i didnt its from the gallery! i just decked out the inside

ahhh i play on desktop but theres 3 and 4 columns for different screen sizes u can read more about it on the actual mod page iirc

my defaults should be good but my mods arent but i cba to update them rn 😭

( @simarcana ) TYYYYYYY she really is, i just wanna spin her around in cas all day and gawk dkfndk

my only tip would be dont dress them in clothes only if u would wear it/its your style. more so let it be a reflection of their character and their own fashion sense. theres alot of my sims id never dress like djfdkfkd but i know its something they would like !

NOW- DIFJDIFJDK me and nia orphyd have written many dissertations about... That aspect of dante's life but i will not confirm nor deny if that was included

im drawing up blanks too rn 😭😭😭 id suggest if u already know like the ethnicity of ur founder sim to just google last names from that culture and go from there, thats what i usually do dfjkd

10!

thank u omg but no i would feel bad if anyone gave me their money esp considering my tendency to like.. dip for weeks at a time DFKDJK also love u tumblr but i absolutely do not trust u with my credit card information

strip naked/bald, facial features, skin details, hair, clothes, repeat any steps if i dont like what i picked initially

( @thatoneplumbob ) no thank u for enjoying them !!! 💓💓💓😭😭

thats an easy one i dont JFKDJFK thats all neighborhood stories and mcc, i would simply die if i had to do all that myself 😭😭😭 i just pop in and give them quick makeovers

( @cutie-with-glasses-blog ) thank u so much !!! u have a great day as well 💓💓💓😌

i havent, im not a big marvel movie fan 😭😭 BUTTTTT i have seen edits and fancams of shuris actress and i agree i would also sell my kidneys and yours for her, shes so fine

( @wildsangria ) THE WAY I ALREADY FORGOT THIS DISCOURSE HAPPENEDDHFDJHDJ ugh throwback to when i gatekept the decades old tabletop rpg game dungeons and dragons

ive been staring at this in my inbox for almost a month and it never fails to make me laugh yet also feel horrified great job you two

WELL GOOD NEWS I DID and ive only made one hs so far!! buttttt it was before hsy so it doesnt work with the pack 😭😭 ill prob make one for hsy eventually bc as much as i hate building im also drawn to it like a moth to flame

thank u!! but ahhh no i havent been having any problems with uni

thank u, i hope ur having a great day too! tbh its not like something i put like... effort into if that makes sense KJDSK like for my gameplay sims no matter how casual i try to make it i inevitably start adding unnecessary depth into them 😭😭 like ill just be cleaning my house and think hmmm this sim hates this food or once had this happen to them, so pretty much the same approach i do to my ocs!

I ACTUALLY RECORDED A VIDEO i just gotta grow some bawlz and upload it 😭😭 its just a quick cas vid for a sim i wanna do gameplay with on there but im still peeing in nervousness

TYYYY i am doing well i rlly am 😌😌 im on winterbreak so YIPEEEE hope ur both doing well too!

#asks #anon #simarcana #thatoneplumbob #cutie-with-glasses-blog #wildsangria

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duskandstarlight · 3 years

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Embers & Light (Chapter 39, NSFW Nessian)

Notes: Well, over a year you've had to wait for these two to seal the deal... BUT NO LONGER. And because I'm thankful to you all for sticking with this story, I've granted you with over 16k of sinful naughtiness. I think it's safe to say this is NSFW but you guys have read my smut before, you know the drill.

Embers & Light has always very much been the alternative story to Habits, but I couldn’t help but write in some crossover moments here to highlight the differences in events--timeline is a fascinating thing! Lemme know if you spot the moments :)

Please let me know what you think :) Comment and kudos will make my day!

I won't be able to write much of August (wedding & mini-moon) but I'll be doing my best to get you guys something as soon as possible. Hopefully by the end of the month, anyways <3

Oh! And I got a bookstagram. Find me at bookships.and.fandoms (and bear with me, I cba to take pretty pics atm)

Chapter 39 Cassian POV

Cassian stared at the doorway and the staircase beyond it, his gaze fixed and unwavering. Nesta had slipped out of the living room to follow Feyre up the stairs over ten minutes ago and he was already consumed with the biting sort of worry that gnawed at your insides.

He wasn’t concerned about what Nesta might be discussing with Feyre—that was her business—but because he couldn’t help but fret when it came to Nesta’s wellbeing.

It was a myriad of concerns that trampled through his mind like a herd of cattle. Had she slept enough? Had she recovered from being caught in the crowds the day before? Was her conversation with Feyre going to have her take three steps back rather than one forward? Cassian had spied the book of fairytales she’d slipped into her bag. Had guessed what she’d intended to do with it.

And then there was the fact that Nesta had left the bed before he’d woken again. Cassian couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she’d not been there when he’d opened his eyes, especially after the night before.

But that was how it was with he and Nesta. When the sun dipped below the horizon, Cassian often felt as if they were on the right path; as if once the world shut its eyes, the pressure was off and their play could continue. But as soon as light bled back into the sky, things weren’t the same. They weren’t cold… but Cassian felt suspended in a limbo of flirtatious banter and respectful distance. Which was hard, when all Cassian wanted to do was be as close to her as possible: to hold her hand and wind a hand through her hair. To kiss her brow and mouth and sink his teeth into her neck—

Cassian’s jaw tightened. He wanted to do wicked things. He wanted to make her moan and shatter. Wanted to know how she felt wrapped around him. Wanted to see if she’d gasp awake as he pushed inside of her.

Their trip home was going to be a turning point. Or at the very least it would be a milestone—a hammered notch as they progressed towards something. Yet, Cassian wasn’t naive: he wasn’t expecting Nesta to fall into his arms and never leave. But he hoped that it might make Nesta see their connection—not the tie between them, but the chemistry that Cassian knew would forever exist even if the mating bond was severed.

From the very first moment his gaze had settled on the haughty, vicious sister Cassian had known. Had nearly been brought to his knees—the heart-stopping moment so powerful, it suspended time as he felt something turn inside of him, as if something that had lain dormant had finally snapped open an eye.

And because of that Cassian would willingly allow Nesta to forge the reigns when it came to whatever it was between them. He could go slow. He would take the chance that Nesta might grow to accept him, even as he was seized by the terror that she might grow bored and draw a line under things before he had the chance to prove that he was worthy.

Cassian took a deep, steadying breath that made his ribcage heave. Thought of the lullaby that sat in his room at the House. Used that to ground himself and banish the painful thoughts.

Nesta had cared enough to gift him a piece of his past that nobody else had ever gone to the effort to find for him. And that was… everything. It was everything to him.

“I can hear the worry grinding gears in your brain.”

Rhys was standing where Mor had been a few moments earlier, his hands tucked into the pockets of his trousers, his eyebrows raised. Cassian hadn’t noticed Mor slip away. Couldn’t even recall what she'd been saying to him. Had he ignored her? He didn’t know. Didn’t really care. They all knew he was head over heels when it came to Nesta anyway.

Cassian blinked. It took him a moment to process Rhys’s words, but his body finally caught up. An instinctive grin tugged at the corners of his mouth and he commanded his eyes to sparkle, even though it was all fake. “I was under the impression you didn’t think I had one.”

Rhys didn’t chuckle or retort with something dry. Sometimes his brother allowed him to indulge in his self-deprecating behaviour, but it didn’t seem like today was one of those days. Instead, he cut to the chase. “They’re fine.”

Cassian bristled. Didn’t bother to pretend his mind wasn't solely on what was happening upstairs. “Feyre’s speaking with you now?”

Nesta would hate that. Would know if her sister was communicating to her mate whilst they were talking.

His brother’s laugh was as smooth as velvet. “No, she locked me out. It’s a habit she’s started recently and it’s usually coupled with the mental finger.”

This time, Cassian’s smile was genuine, as was the chuckle that chased it. “Feisty.”

“You have no idea,” Rhys responded with a wink.

Mor, who had breezed back to Cassian’s side with a new cup of coffee, rolled her eyes. “We do actually, you two are like rabbits.”

“We’re mated,” Rhys replied with a wave of his hand. “It’s to be expected.”

Mor lifted her eyes to the ceiling. “Cauldron, I need to bed someone rather than hearing about my cousin’s exploits with my best friend.”

“Head to Rita’s and find yourself a pretty fae,” Cassian drawled, tugging Mor into a one armed hug.

“Mmm,” Mor hummed, but she chewed on her lip again. Glanced nervously at Azriel, who was in deep conversation with Elain. His shadows were tucked in neatly to his frame rather than trailing, ever-moving and loose around his body, but Cassian knew he could hear them.

Cassian dropped a friendly kiss to Mor’s head before he let her go. Tussled her hair, grinning mischievously when she squawked in disapproval.

As if sensing that his cousin wanted a change of subject, Rhys looked square at Cassian. “Azriel will come over later to update you on the latest movements.”

Cassian sobered as if someone had poured icy water down his back. “Not later,” Cassian corrected firmly.

Tomorrow. No the day after that. Cassian couldn’t guarantee that he’d be able to stop once he’d had his first proper taste of Nesta.

But of course they couldn’t do that—wouldn’t. The situation in Illyria was too dire for them to be so selfish as to lock themselves away for days.

It didn’t mean Cassian didn’t want to, though.

“You’ve got plans?” Rhys asked lightly and Mor froze.

You’ve got no idea, Cassian thought. But then realised his brother knew. Of course he did. Surely everyone in this room knew how desperate he was to get back to Illyria. To have Nesta in his bed again, writhing and moaning, their bodies slick with sweat as they moved in unison.

Clenching his jaw, Cassian grounded that desire between his teeth, until it was nothing but broken, delicious shards that scraped down his throat. His blood coiled. “Yes. Maybe.”

If she doesn’t change her mind.

“It has to be tomorrow, Cass.”

Biting back a sigh, Cassian nodded. “I know. Come at noon. I suppose I’ll be camped out in Illyria for the foreseeable future.” He cast a stern look at Mor. “Send me letters.”

“You have a housemate,” Rhys reminded him. “You’re not going to be entirely alone.”

Mor grinned slyly. “A very beautiful housemate.”

Cassian was more than aware of that.

He grunted and unable to stop himself, he voiced the fear that always niggled away at the back of his mind. “For now.”

But Rhys just loosed another manicured shrug, that was at odds with the ground-breaking revelation that followed it. “For a long while. Nesta has expressed her desire to remain in Illyria long-term despite the discontent. Assuming you don’t mind sharing your bungalow.”

It felt as if an iron band of hope was clamped around Cassian’s chest. He stared at his brother. Tried not to blink. Crossed his arms firmly over his chest, protecting his heart. “And you know this how?”

“Nesta spoke with me. We have arrived at a truce, of sorts.”

That must have been what they’d spoken about yesterday on the balcony. He wanted to know more—everything—but Cassian would not press Rhys. If Nesta wanted to tell him, she would. He had to respect that.

So, he bit back his curiosity and grumbled, “About time.”

Rhys clapped his hand on Cassian’s back, but there was something wary in his expression, as if there was something he wanted to say but wouldn’t. Finally, he said, “Patience is a virtue, brother.”

“I’m not the patient sort.”

“You are when it counts,” Rhys countered, and Cassian didn’t say anything because they both knew what he was referring to. Rhys had been the first to know. Had witnessed Cassian in a tangled web of despair and longing and unwanted visions. His brother had immediately put two and two together. Because he’d been there, too. Knew what it was to want someone you thought you couldn’t have. To hope that someone might finally grow to see you in colour rather than in black and white.

Cassian cast another look towards the empty doorway and the quiet hallway beyond it.

A shiver of anticipation ran through him. It was time for them to go home.

***

In the end, Cassian folded to his worry and had Elain fetch Nesta from upstairs. It was time to go, he’d insisted, even though there was no true reason as to why they needed to leave quite so quickly.

“No guesses required to identify why you want to head back to Illyria,” Mor muttered out the side of her mouth, as the creak of the stairs a few flights above heralded the sisters return. Cassian jabbed his elbow into his friend’s ribs and Mor yelped through her grin, even as she had to sidestep, the nudge throwing her off balance. “What? It’s all over your face. You think I can’t read you after five hundred years?”

“Don’t announce it to the room,” Cassian muttered darkly under his breath, “and you won’t find yourself torn to pieces.”

Mor briefly bumped against his arm, the jostle affectionate. Unfazed by his threat, she glanced sideways at him with rich chocolate eyes. “I won’t. We just want you to be happy, you know.”

Cassian’s mouth flattened into a thin line. “Now isn’t the time for a lecture about finding a more suitable mate.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, hadn’t meant to voice what he’d kept inside for so long.

Mor’s eyes widened, but she wound her arms around his waist. Cassian allowed her to tuck herself under his arm. His friend scented of citrus and cinnamon. When she craned her neck to look up at him, her expression was glowing with sincerity and Cassian realised that she hadn’t been insinuating that Nesta wasn’t right for him at all. “We’re all cheering you on from the sidelines, Cass, I promise.”

The muscle in Cassian’s jaw flexed. He looked away from her, towards the doorway again, unable to help himself. “Don’t say anything.”

She tightened her grip on his waist. “I won’t. I promise.”

“She doesn’t want it.”

Mor untangled herself from him. Shook her head in disagreement. “She does. She just isn’t ready to admit it yet.”

They both fell quiet as Nesta walked through the door with Elain and Feyre. The first thing Cassian noticed was that she scented of water and salt—tears.

Heart pattering with concern, Cassian quickly scanned Nesta’s expression and body language, searching for clues. But Nesta remained close to her sisters rather than apart, her fingers snagged in Feyre’s, her expression not in tatters but smooth and calm, like still waters.

“Ready to go?” Mor chirped from beside him. “I can winnow you back when Sala arrives.”

Nesta’s grey-blue eyes slid to Mor. “I called her on my way down.”

“Then you have time to see the snowdrops you gave me before you leave,” Elain responded eagerly, tugging at Nesta’s arm. “The cuttings took well to the soil. I planted them beneath the shade of the birch trees near the river.”

Cassian watched Nesta disappear into the garden. Surveyed the way a strand of golden brown hair that had escaped her loose braid floated on the breeze, as if it was part of the element rather than separate, as Elain bent to show her the snowdrops.

Yet despite the clear ease to Nesta’s movements, Cassian couldn’t help but ask Feyre whether everything was okay when she came over to hug him goodbye.

“We’re fine,” Feyre assured him, as together they watched Mor tentatively sit beside Azriel on the couch. For once the Shadowsinger’s shadows didn’t lighten, but Azriel still turned to her, drawn by some magnetism as she began to speak with him.

Slim fingers closed around his. Squeezed. “Thank you for fetching the book of fairytales for Nesta.”

The strand of ebony hair that had wrangled free of Cassian’s hair tie tickled the side of his forehead as he inclined his head. That had been a long time ago, when Nesta was a viper that he dared to poke with a stick, just so he could get a reaction. “Of course.”

“You travelled all that way on barely healed wings just to fetch a book.”

It wasn’t just a book, but Cassian knew Feyre understood that, so he only grunted, “Az took me most of the way. He waited to winnow me back.”

But Feyre’s eyes were burnished, as she asked, “Is there anything you won’t do for my sister?”

“It depends,” Cassian replied honestly. Because although he’d rather die than see Nesta hurt, Cassian wouldn’t hesitate to stand up to her when her fire was ill-wrought. And that’s what he liked about the both of them: if he was an ass Nesta told him straight, and he did the same for her. A grin slashed across his face. “Your sister has claws and teeth when she’s angry.”

It wasn’t long before Sala landed on her four large paws in the garden, prompting goodbyes. Mor winnowed Nesta and Sala, whilst Az’s scarred hand closed around Cassian’s arm.

Together, Cassian and his brother passed through realms of shadows and light and raging wings. Then Illyria was taking shape before Cassian bit by bit: there was the sting of winter on his cheeks, the crunch of snow beneath his feet, the scent of pine and untamed air. It felt like that wonderful first heave of your lungs after being starved from air. It alerted Cassian senses—woke him up.

Not bothering to say goodbye for the second time, Azriel bled straight back into shadow, but Mor raised a hand in a parting wave from where she stood beside Nesta and Sala. Her long golden hair caught on the breeze. It tussled behind her like its own puff of wind, before she vanished into nothing.

When Cassian’s eyes snapped to Nesta, he found her standing with her eyes closed, breathing in the wilderness of their surroundings. After a few beats, Sala jumped onto her hind legs, climbing up Nesta’s body with her snow-crusted paws to knock her head impatiently against Nesta’s.

A breath of laughter clouded in front of her as Nesta ruffled Sala’s ears. She murmured something Cassian couldn't identify in the manticore’s ear, before Sala dropped onto all fours and padded through the snow in the direction of the main camp.

Cassian watched the manticore go. He suspected Sala was going to seek out the widows camp and check everything was in order. It was the kind of thing Nesta would fret about—that whilst she was warm and fed, others might not be extended the same courtesy.

Or, the dark part of his mind whispered, she wants Sala out of the house.

You can fuck me wherever you like in the bungalow, Cassian.

The many needles of thrill pierced through him just as Nesta met his stare from across the snow. Suddenly, Cassian didn’t know what to say. His tongue felt swollen and thick in his mouth, words suddenly as viscous as tar. The atmosphere had altered—the aura surrounding them despite the distance suddenly heavy with promise: a change that pointed to something new.

The siphons on the back of Cassian’s hands glowed in anticipation. Nesta merely raised an eyebrow at him. Turned. Walked towards the house just as he caught the thick scent of jasmine and vanilla on the wind.

Cassian’s nostrils flared as it wound around him; invisible ropes of arousal. And then he was moving, following Nesta’s footprints.

His friends had winnowed them to the back of the house, halfway between the small stone outhouse and the backdoor. They weren’t far from the bungalow, but it felt like miles as Cassian stomped noisily after Nesta, his boots compacting the snow as if they were grinding shards of glass into powder.

When Cassian drew up behind Nesta, she already had a hand half-raised towards the door. Even though he wasn’t touching her, she was a whirlpool of warmth. It sucked him in, begging him to line his torso against her back, so when she cursed, realising she hadn’t taken her gloves off, Cassian didn’t hesitate to reach over her shoulder and rest his palm against the wood, encasing her.

The touch of his bare skin—or Nesta’s—was the key to the magical lock. A thunk sounded as the bolt released but Cassian didn’t push open the door—was too preoccupied with the female before him—who had twisted to stare up at him.

As soon as their gazes snagged, history began to knit together in a rush of thread, until it was a tangible, living thing. Because this moment had been written in the stars as soon as Cassian had seen Nesta in her amethyst dress in the human realm; her hair wielded into a mighty crown, her expression haughty and defiant, yet burning with the potential of a life not yet lived. They’d denied that history, even as it waited patiently in the wings. It had watched as they danced around each other, fumbling and snarling their way to this very moment—

They moved in unison. Cassian’s head bowing just as Nesta reached upwards; her body bowing to his, her palms sliding across his jaw until they were around his neck. Their lips met with a force that rattled Cassian’s bones. This wasn't a brush of a kiss. This was immediate and awakening: Nesta tasted like life and breath, like destiny. And yet again, Cassian knew with startling clarity that they were meant for this, he and Nesta. They were meant for each other and nobody could tell him otherwise, including her.

A soft breath whooshed out of Nesta as her back hit the door, but then Cassian was pushing it open, guiding her inside in a whirlwind of noise and wreckage.

The scrape of wood on the flagstone tiles sounded as Nesta’s back knocked against the table before Cassian turned them, his wings grazing against cupboards and the cool walls. Items clattered and shattered, but Cassian used his wings to keep a check on his surroundings, the touch guiding him to the left-hand wall where he could press her against the wall and devour.

Because Cassian could not tear his mouth from Nesta’s. Couldn’t stop tasting her. Couldn’t stop craving the roll of her tongue and the sound of her guttural moans. It fuelled a fireball inside of him; it roared into life in the centre of his heart, before spreading throughout his limbs, rushing through his body until it settled deep in his groin, aching and burning—screaming for relief.

When they finally hit the wall, the thud of their bodies shook the cabinets and the porcelain within it. Without thinking, Cassian took the brunt of it, his hand flying to cup Nesta's lower back and head to purposefully shield her from the hurt.

Because he was coarse and rippling, galloping towards a primal sort of wilderness that Cassian wasn’t sure he could control.

If Nesta was ignorant to the fact or wholly aware Cassian didn’t know. All he knew was that her hands were scrabbling at his leather like dancing flames, tugging him closer.

When he pressed his body over hers, aligning every inch of her to every inch of him, she whined.

Cassian swallowed it. Slanted his mouth across hers. Tucked his wings in tight as every muscle in him tensed in anticipation.

Nesta tasted of chai and vanilla and embers with a destiny to roar.

Another strangled noise came from her throat as Cassian sank his hands deep into the hair at her scalp, coaxing strands free from her braid as his fingers threading through her hair, just as he had done the night prior when he’d coaxed her to sleep. But this wasn’t a soothing touch. This was a touch to startle every nerve ending to life.

Time began to bleed around them, but Cassian only registered the fluidity of the frantic dance they had not learnt. The way Nesta arched into him as his palm slid back to span her waist. The pant of her breath against his skin. His heaving chest. The way his wings began to spread again of their own volition, like a fan unfolding to reveal a secret pattern—as if they were controlled by nothing but the ache of his cock as it strained against the leather of his pants.

As if in acknowledgement that his body was no longer ruled by him, his hips slanted upwards of their own accord. It was a desperate bid to relieve the ache, and his throat vibrated with a thunderous growl as Nesta dug her nails deeper into the leather of his jacket, using it for leverage as she arched into him.

Something turned further inside of Cassian, like a lock beginning to grind as a key turned. And then it felt as if he were plunging beneath water; ducking into the depths and travelling beneath an invisible barrier before emerging on the other side buoyant and surging with power.

Ruby crashed through his veins, like the walls of a dam broken free and… singing light. Magic roared so loudly in Cassian’s ears that he no longer heard the galloping beat of his heart or the sawing of their breath.

Reeling, he tore his mouth from Nesta’s. Her eyes were just as wide, puddles of startled moonlight—endless mercury—and Cassian didn’t need to look down to know that her hands were wreathed in silver.

For a moment they stared at one another. Time slowed until it was sluggish around them and then the feeling receded, as if Cassian was being carried by a wave as it was dragged unwillingly from the shore on thundering feet.

Sound bled back into Cassian’s ears, like raindrops slowly blotting paper. A moan whispered on a wind carried through him, the words fleeting—her name three times, like always—before they dispersed into nothing and ragged breathing filled the hole.

Fuck, they needed to be careful. He needed to be careful if just kissing her led to some transcendental experience. Cassian knew Nesta became open during sex—had seen tumbled images of tangled limbs and heard her moans—and he couldn’t afford to lose her when she had finally let him in. Couldn’t let her down, even though he wanted nothing more than to finally be found worthy by someone.

That twisted rope between them couldn’t widen and strengthen. Couldn’t finally open and click into place with a consensual snap.

Because Cassian had heard stories of mates who had gone to bed. Who had fleetingly accepted what they wanted in their hearts but not in their minds. And after they had both finished and life had been breathed into that bond, only death could sever their Cauldron-blessed connection.

Cassian would not have a mate with regrets, but he didn’t have the will-power to deny himself of her any longer. Not when he could scent how much Nests wanted him. When he could feel it like an unquenchable ache in his bones—an ache which made him tremble and shake. His rocky warrior exterior ground to nothing but sand.

As if Nesta could read his thoughts she tipped her head back, baring the column of her neck.

A resounding guttural sound dragged from his throat. The noise was animalistic and unchained. A booming crack ricocheted around the walls, the muscles in Cassian’s back burning as his wings snapped outward.

Something toppled from somewhere and crashed to the floor, but Cassian didn’t bother to raise his head to look at what it was.

And then time seemed to both slow and drive into a frenzy. Cassian launched at Nesta’s neck at the same time he tugged at her hair, urging her head to fall back even farther.

His lips were against the column of her throat in the blink of an eye; his teeth scraping, his mouth sucking until her blood pounded in his ears. Nesta’s knees buckled but Cassian quickly pinned her body to the wall, holding her up, his knee sliding firmly between her legs…

And… nothing. There was no panic or sensation of being trapped—no sudden fire launching him back thirty feet—but Cassian still tore his mouth from Nesta’s neck. Had to know she wasn’t panicking. “Ok?” he rasped.

A frown burrowed Nesta’s brows. Her swollen lips parted in confusion. Somehow it made her look more beautiful.

Cassian raised a shaking hand to trace it away. “Nesta. Are you ok?”

Understanding dawned like millions of unfurling petals.

When Nesta spoke she was short of breath, the words an exhale. “Don’t hold back.”

Cassian practically arched into her at the words but he made himself remain still, even as his body vibrated with tension. His bones creaked but he held fast.

That stubborn, beautiful chin lifted and Nesta’s eyes glinted wicked yet pure. Always an oxymoron, his Nesta.

“Don’t hold back,” she repeated, her voice stronger this time. She pushed her hips against his thigh and the friction had her lips parting, a shaky breath tumbling from her lungs. “I can take it.”

The words were like slashing knives of pleasure, severing the leash on any control Cassian thought he had.

The subsequent rush of air Cassian loosed was akin to a snorting horse.

Then he was moving and their mouths were fused together again, their tongues a delicious push and pull of control and pleasure before he yanked away.

“Thank fuck,” he gasped. His hands flew to her hips, guiding her to ride his thigh. “Thank fuck, Nesta.”

The friction had Nesta moaning, her fingernails digging so hard into the leather of his jacket Cassian was sure she had dented the material. But he didn’t care. Didn’t care about anything but the living fervour that clawed at them.

His hands were everywhere at once. Tangled in her hair. Sliding over her cheek. Cupping her ass. Attacking the buttons at the back of her dress, until they popped and scattered. Until he could pull the material down her arms, exposing tantalising creamy skin.

At the first sight of her breasts, Cassian growled. He bowed his head to capture a nipple sharply between his teeth before he laved over it with his tongue, smoothing over the wound. He relished the way Nesta cried out. Arched into him. She began to tear at his jacket. It snagged on his wings but Cassian shrugged it off until it hit the floor with a thud.

The first slide of Nesta’s palms beneath his tunic was like oil sizzling in a pan. Cassian hissed as the callouses of her palms scraped deliciously over his skin and scars and ink. Snarled as she made quick work of the stays and fastenings. Tried to focus on her other breast as she inched her hand beneath the tight leather fabric and eased him free.

Fingers wrapped sinfully around him, causing Cassian to snarl around a peaked nipple—to buck sharply—pressing them more firmly against the wall.

“Don’t bother,” Nesta moaned as Cassian wrenched desperately at the fabric of her dress, trying to coax it further down her body. She ground down onto his thigh as it to emphasise her point—her need—and the heat of her burned.

It was all Cassian needed to hear. He fumbled desperately with her skirts until a hand was under the material and sliding up her thigh. Until fabric ripped and her underwear fell away in what Cassian imagined to be a ripple of lace.

In one swift movement, Cassian lifted Nesta’s body upwards, until her legs were gripped tightly around his hips and her back was flush against the wall. Her hands flew to find purchase, grappling at the back of his neck, and when she was steady she raked her hand purposefully through the hair which had come loose from his tie. Tugged at the leather until his hair fell over his face. Whined. Tangled her fingers through the ebony strands as if they were her reigns.

Cassian splayed the hand that wasn’t supporting her body against the cold wall. Tried to catch his breath, but the position evened out the height between them. Just a slight movement would allow him to capture her lips with his, and Cassian couldn’t deny that demanding tug that drove him to devour. Nesta seemed to feel the same way. Moaned in relief as Cassian tasted her as if he couldn’t get enough, gave back as good as she got. Over and over they moved, until they were nothing but an undulating wave of tongue and teeth and groans. The pleasure was a surging, roiling entity. It was all consuming. It overtook Cassian’s body, demanding that his hand drag from her ass straight to her core.

When his fingers slid through wetness, Cassian’s groan sounded like thunderous defeat. He dropped his head to Nesta’s collarbone. Gently pressed his lips to her clavicle. To her shoulder. Tried to ground himself as he slid straight to the spot that made her keen—as pleasure ignited down the bond like a crashing wave. Brushed over it again and again and again. Relishing in the noises he coaxed from her. At the curling fists of desire that clenched agonisingly inside of him.

Cassian had to see Nesta fall. Had to look into her eyes as she broke.

But he wanted to be inside of her when it happened.

Cassian was reaching for his cock at the same time that Nesta let out a broken moan. “Do it,” she breathed. There was no bite of authority in her voice, as if all of the energy she had directed in the pursuit of pleasure had smoothed over the serrated edge of her personality he loved so much, leaving a softer version in its wake. “Please. Just—”

A satisfied snarl ripped from Cassian as he felt her want. And in that moment, Cassian knew there would be nothing gentle about how this was going to play out. It was going to be rough and frantic, riding a wave of pleasure that had been building for too long. Knew afterwards that they would sink to the cold floor in a mass of tangled limbs and mingled breath.

And Cassian wanted that. Had never wanted release so badly in his life.

Something clambered in the back of his mind. Something he needed to remember, but his limbs were moving of their own volition. He didn’t even bother to pump his cock or squeeze it to relieve the tension. Only cared about finally being inside of her.

The heat and slickness of her was sinful and divine when he lined himself up at her entrance. The hand he had braced against the wall came to span her cheek. It relied on Nesta clamping on tightly to his waist with her legs and the press of his torso against hers, but they managed it.

Shaking, Cassian raked back the hair that had fallen free from her braid back from Nesta’s face, just as she tugged him in for a bruising kiss.

There was a moment when everything paused and trembled. As Nesta pulled away and stared at him, her eyes swimming silver—glowing with it—her pupils obscured.

His magic surged at the sight of it. Crashed against his skin as if it was trying to escape. His siphons burned bloody.

“Cassian,” Nesta panted. Despite the keen desperation, there was cushion to his name. Gently, Nesta bowed her head until her forehead rested against his. The gesture was surprisingly tender. It tugged at his heartstrings, triggered his hips into movement as they finally pushed forward.

The tight heat that wrapped around him like velvet was so immediate that Cassian swore. Sweat trickled down his back and seeped into the tunic Nesta hadn’t gotten round to discarding. He trembled as Nesta’s breath stuttered and he felt the burning pain mixed with pleasure as he sunk in an inch. Felt the stretch of Nesta’s body as it strained to fit around him.

Claws dug into his back—Nesta’s nails—biting into his skin, until the metallic tang of blood infused the air.

Cassian’s body stilled before he even had a second to register that he needed to stop. That instinct buried deep to make sure she never hurt.

And then a knock rapped at the front door.

“No,” Nesta moaned. She shifted her hips and Cassian sank a little deeper. That pain flared again through the pleasure and Cassian grip on her turned vice like.

Sense stumbled into his desire addled brain, like a fawn on gangly legs.

But then it righted itself.

Another sharp rap at the door cleared his head completely.

He bowed to bury his face in the crook of her neck but Nesta whined. Tilted her hips again, urging him deeper. “Nesta, stop.”

“No.” Her whimper was doused in frustration, but all Cassian could feel was that sharp needle of pain.

He tried to pull back, but Nesta clamped down around him with that incredible strength of hers. The strength that only seemed to appear at times of desperation or anger.

Cassian’s jaw flexed, his features hardening. “I’m hurting you.”

“You’re not,” Nesta countered, defiance colouring her expression.

“I am,” Cassian retorted, not allowing for a passing beat of their hearts to pass before he replied. “I’m hurting you. Don’t pretend that I’m not.”

I can feel it, Cassian wanted to explain, but didn’t. Knew somehow that if he did they might not end up joining at all.

Desire fogged Nesta’s mind and it fuelled the punch to her next words. “I don’t care.”

Ire punched through Cassian’s desire enough for him to see red. “Well, I do,” he snapped.

Nesta’s nostrils flared at his tone and her eyes burned silver. Cassian wondered how everything had gone southward so quickly—they were on a sinking ship and he needed to patch it up. Knew she felt rejected. So, he kissed her and pushed back that unquenchable ache he felt for her. Knew it hit home because she gasped softly into his mouth, her surprise tart on his tongue.

He pulled out. As soon as his cock fell free that pain throbbed and ebbed. But Nesta moaned all the same.

Moaned again as he drew his head back to stare at her.

She surprised him when her eyes remained open rather than closed off. There was no hard shield. Nothing but want and a vulnerability that made his heart squeeze.

It gave him the courage to do the right thing.

He kissed her again. Trailed a thumb across her swollen lips, ignoring the desire that roared as Nesta sucked it into her mouth, her tongue darting across the top before the bit down lightly.

“This is how things are going to go,” Cassian murmured lowly, pulling his thumb out of her mouth and across her jawline, trailing the wetness all the way to the sensitive spot behind her ear. Nesta shuddered.

“I’m going to get the door and send whoever it is away,” Cassian continued. He paused to let the words sink in. Lowered his head to trace a path with his nose, up the slope of her shoulder, all the way up her neck until his lips were grazing the shell of her ear. “You will go to your bedroom. When they’re gone, I’ll find you.”

Another shiver coursed through Nesta’s body. Her fingers tightened around his neck.

When Nesta next spoke, Cassian knew he’d piqued her interest. “What then?” she demanded.

“Then I’m going to make you come until you see stars.”

Nesta’s entire body froze. For a long moment, she didn’t so much as breathe, but Cassian felt the throb of her blood and magic as it pounded against her skin.

Then, Nesta’s hands worked between them, until her small palms were splayed across his chest. She pushed firmly, indicating that she wanted to get her down. Her body slithered to the floor, her lean legs falling away from his body.

The sudden distance between them felt like miles.

Nesta lifted her chin. “Hurry or I’ll start without you.”

A breath heaved at Cassian’s lungs and he felt his pupils contract, pushing out his irises until they were swallowed by black. The image of Nesta sprawled on the bed wearing nothing but skin, her legs open, a hand moving between her legs had that coil within him tightening to the point of pain.

A growl spiked through the air as another knock sounded at the door.

Nesta must have known she’d wrangled back control, because she arched a cool eyebrow at him. “I thought you were going to answer the door?”

A dark chuckle forced its way out of his chest, but it was mechanical rather than true. Because there was nothing funny about resisting Nesta right now and his body seemed to know that.

Cassian reached for her before he knew what was happening. Rested his forehead against hers. Breathed once. Twice. “I need to calm down,” he confessed.

Nesta snickered, but the sound fell flat as her breath hitched upwards at the end. It betrayed the effect he had on her, even as she said silkily, “Did the image of me pleasuring myself get you hard?”

“I was already hard,” he growled. He pressed a lingering kiss to her mouth. “As you well know.”

A hand reached between them. Stroked over him—the touch feather light but tantalising enough that Cassian bucked into her touch.

And then cunning words, “Maybe I’ll let you watch.”

A string of swear words left Cassian’s mouth. He yanked back from Nesta, as if someone had tugged firmly on a leash. Tugged up his pants and jerked ruthlessly at the ties until they fastened, trapping his cock back into the leather.

With a growl, Cassian waved a hand towards the living room—to Nesta’s room to the right of it. “Leave before I fuck you against the wall, Nesta,” he barked.

Nesta’s sly laugh skittered over his skin, and without pulling her dress back up to cover herself, Nesta sashayed through the nearest arch and disappeared.

*** It had been Mas and Roksana at the door, laden with bags full of groceries and supplies from the market. With full access to the house, there was no reason why they shouldn’t have just come right in. Which meant Mas had suspected somehow, enough so that she had left the bags on the front step and remained standing with Roksana a few feet back.

“I am sorry Sinta, but the meat might spoil,” the housekeeper had apologised as soon as he’d opened the door, his hair a tangled mess from where Nesta had yanked it free of its tie. He hadn’t had the sense to recover it from the floor, but he had righted his tunic and fastened his pants.

And thank the Cauldron for that, because Roksana peeked up at Cassian with wide eyes from her position of safety behind Mas’s legs. He didn’t know when Lorrian had brought the youngling back to the camp, but Cassian guessed it hadn’t been easy on the two of them to take a little girl out of the warmth and back into the snow.

Cassian tried to soften the eyes that he knew were a little wild. He raked his hands through his hair and sent them his most disarming smile, but there was fuck all he could do about his scent. So he thanked her, trying to keep his voice light and conversational. Ordered her to take the rest of the day off.

To the housekeeper’s credit, she did not linger. Had merely nodded and rushed Roksana back into the snow, towards the main vein of the camp.

Yet, whilst the housekeeper’s interruption had been unwanted, it did grant Cassian some breathing space as he rammed perishables into the cool box. Because even though Cassian would allow Nesta to decide how this all played out, he needed to lay down a rule of his own: he could give her the space to decide what she wanted—for him to prove that he could be what she needed—but there was one thing he could not suffer through.

And if they had stormed ahead in a hurricane of lust; with Nesta’s back against the wall as Cassian pounded into her… Well, it would be too late for Cassian to lay down his one condition once they were sweaty and sated. Nesta was more likely to get up and walk away. To not look back.

Cassian found Nesta sitting at the dresser in her room re-braiding back her hair.

Leaning against the doorjamb, Cassian opened his mouth to explain who had been at the door, but an iron band closed fast around his chest, robbing him of breath.

“What are you wearing?” The words came out of him eventually, entirely uneven to the point of being choked.

Because Nesta was wearing his shirt. It was the same steel blue shirt she’d worn that first day in Illyria. The shirt that was an identical match to her eyes, purchased before Cassian had realising what his subconscious had done. A shirt he’d had to hide away in the spare room because Cassian hadn’t been able to bare seeing it in his closet—of being reminded that his mate was a ghost who had banished him away.

Go home, Cassian.

Nesta met Cassian's eyes in the mirror. Announced with cool simplicity, “You ripped my dress.”

“And this is your way of torturing me?”

An indifferent shrug. “Why wear my own clothing when I know what fate it will suffer?”

Cassian knew his nostrils billowed, but he remained propped up against the doorframe. Pretended he was stuck to it like glue because his body was trembling for him to launch across the distance and claim her mouth. Her neck. Her.

The silence seemed to unnerve Nesta. Cassian knew that from months of living with her. From months of studying her slight tells when her masks slipped.

Right on cue, Nesta reset her posture—a gesture that most people read as defiant. But Cassian knew it was also a sign of nerves. She shrugged with feigned indifference, even as her throat tightened and that damned pulse fluttered temptingly against her throat. “You liked it the last time I wore it.”

Cassian huffed a breath. He had liked it the last time she wore it, even if she’d been so gaunt that he’d worried she might wither away. But the shirt… it had put images in his mind that Cassian had long tried to store away, imprisoned in rock and flame: her in his clothing, not fucking other males but him, her lithe legs wrapping around his waist as he sank deep—

Which brought Cassian neatly to the point he needed to discuss with her…

Nesta’s eyes tracked Cassian in the mirror as he peeled himself out of the doorway and came to stand behind her. When their eyes locked into place, it felt as if someone had punched him in the chest. There was something deep in Nesta’s gaze that made it feel as if he was tumbling down a rabbit hole, that magnetism between them drawing him in like gravity.

When Cassian’s fingers brushed Nesta’s neck—ran down the braid she had draped over her shoulder—Nesta shivered. “You had your hair down then,” he rasped. Didn’t wait for her to protest, as he slowly coaxed the tie free from the end of her hair.

Nesta turned preternaturally still, watched him gently part her hair in the mirror until it fell free from her plait, his calloused fingers brushing over her skin as he coaxed her hair to fall down her back.

The pulse hammering at her throat and the warmth radiating from her skin were the only indications that Nesta was alive rather than stone.

Only when Cassian had finished and lifted his hands from her neck, did Nesta come back to life.

Her throat bobbed as she swallowed. But she cocked her head slightly to dissect him. “It’s a nuisance like this. It gets in the way.”

“It’s beautiful,” Cassian corrected, his voice rasping, like sand scraping against skin. He ran a hand through her hair as if to emphasise his point, his fingers running down, down, down until her waist.

When Nesta stood and turned into the warmth of him, Cassian scented what she wanted. But there was something else simmering in her expression—surprise. As if she’d caught the truth in his words and hadn’t expected someone to truly think her beautiful.

She stepped closer, until the lines of her torso ghosted his. Until Cassian’s heart pounded so hard he could hear the frantic tempo of it in his ears. Nesta tilted her head back so she could stare up at him and Cassian’s hand weaved through the mane of her hair before he could stop himself.

He was desperate to touch her again. Desperate.

But Cassian waited. Waited for Nesta to reach up on tiptoes and press her mouth to his.

The kiss was not like their bruised, desperate kisses from earlier. It was coaxing and unsure; the tentative beginning of something that was not merely fuelled by ardour. But it soon blossomed into something more, like a snowball rolling down a mountain blanketed white, gaining speed as it grew and grew—

Dragging his mouth away from hers, Cassian fought for breath. Battled to remember what he needed to do and say. But then Nesta was tugging his head back down again, her fingers tangled in his hair, the gesture indicative of an insistent need that Cassian knew would not go away.

As always, Nesta tasted divine. Addictive. He could taste the curl of her power on his tongue—silver and white, life and death—and he wondered if she could taste his. Knew his siphons were glowing scarlet—

“Nesta,” he murmured hoarsely, her name a caress against her lips. He couldn’t invoke a distance between them, couldn’t stop touching her. His nose brushed hers as her drew back an infinitesimal amount. Closed his eyes. Inhaled deeply, summoning courage. “You can dictate how this goes between us. But if we do this, I can’t—there’s no-one else. Just you and me.”

The subsequent pause was one of the worst of Cassian’s life. It was barely a breath. The blink of an eye. But it felt as if it was malleable and elastic, drawn out by the hands of fate as everything suspended in time.

He didn’t want to open his eyes, but in the end he managed it. Caught Nesta’s eyelashes flutter downwards, casting shadows on her skin. Her fists tightened in the fabric of his tunic, anchoring him to the moment.

She swallowed. Shook her head. Agreed with a conviction he had not been expecting, “No-one else.”

The relief that swooped through Cassian was so fierce it was painful. But he still didn’t dare to believe it.

He caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger so Nesta could not look away. So he could look into the deep waters of her irises and know she was telling him the truth.

But her gaze was steady and unwavering, as he demanded, “Say it again.”

His voice cracked but Nesta didn’t appear to notice. Her grip on him tightened. “No-one else,” she repeated on an outward breath.

A low, ravaged moan sounded from Cassian’s throat. “Diyosa,” he murmured, slipping into Illyrian. Goddess.

“Bruha,” Nesta corrected. She fumbled over the pronunciation but Cassian felt as if he had been an ember that had burst into flame. Witch.

He let out a rough bark of laughter. Then he swore in a long, drawn out moan. “No Illyrian,” he ordered roughly. Pressed his mouth firmly against hers, the kiss searing. “Otherwise this will be over far too quickly.” Another kiss. “And I want to take my time.”

The smile Nesta painted against Cassian’s lips was feline. “You’ve made a lot of promises, General. I hope you don’t disappoint.”

Cassian snarled. Spun her body until her back was cradled against his chest. “I have, haven’t I?” he mused lightly, even though the hammering of his heart must have beat a betraying rhythm against her shoulder blade.

In the mirror, Nesta’s expression grew less poised and controlled. Delight mixed with anticipation clung to her features at this game they played; this tussle for control. She did not try to wrangle free from his hold or shift uncomfortably in his arms at having her back enclosed against his.

It thrilled him—that trust. Enough so that when he met her eyes in the mirror, Cassian found that his irises had been swallowed by his pupils until they were only a ring of chocolate gold.

Slowly, Cassian brushed Nesta’s hair over to one shoulder with his left hand. Traced his fingers down the arc of her neck to her collarbone. Continued a path down the centre of her chest, to the pyrite which glittered between her breasts.

When his fingers met the first button of his shirt, Cassian toyed with it. Purposefully grazed his nose against the shell of her ear. “Shall I start here?” he murmured. “Undress you in front of the mirror whilst you watch?”

Nesta suppressed a shudder, but Cassian caught it. Could swear he felt her blood boiling beneath her skin as he slipped the button free of its hole. Then another. And another. Until there were no more buttons and the material hung free.

Leaning back into his body, Nesta rested her head against his chest. Curved her back slightly so her chest thrust upwards, silently instructing him where she wanted his hands.

And Cassian couldn’t deny her. He turned his palm so it was face up and curled into a loose fist. Brushed his knuckles down her sternum all the way to her bared naval, before bringing it back up. His fingers ran up the side of the material free of buttons, until he was at her collarbone—her shoulder—leaving a litter of goosebumps in his wake.

This time, Cassian snickered when she shivered. Dropped a slow and deliberate kiss to her bare shoulder as he slowly, slowly inched the material down, down, down over her arm. Repeated the motion on the other, until the shirt pooled onto the floor, exposing her bare body to the mirror: endless creamy skin, divine curves, the luscious full weight of her bare breasts, and… lower.

Nesta’s eyes, which had been tracking the fabric as it fell away, snapped to his as a feral growl ripped from him. And she moaned at the expression on his face. Grabbed at his hands, pulling them to her body.

“Touch me,” Nesta hissed, but it came out strangled. Almost pleading. Another crack in her armour as it broke and fell away.

The sight was enough to threaten Cassian to his knees. He guided her body backwards, his hands splaying firmly across her stomach despite her whine, until his legs hit the edge of the mattress

Neither of them broke eye contact in the mirror. Not when Cassian coaxed Nesta down to sit on the bed with him. Not when he pulled her between his legs, her back firmly against his chest. Not when he bowed his head to kiss the slope between her neck and shoulder.

When Cassian finally brushed a thumb over her nipple, Nesta back bowed so fiercely Cassian was thankful he had an arm strapped across her stomach.

The small noise she loosed fuelled his fire and Cassian held on to her. Stroked over that peaked nipple again as Nesta careened into his touch. Followed it with a firmer roll with his thumb and forefinger. Used the fingertips of his other hand to draw slow, tantalising circles across the silken skin of her lower stomach, before he moved southwards…

The air around them hushed when Cassian’s fingers stilled. Anticipation built and only when it vibrated with tension did Cassian slide his hands to cradle Nesta’s hips.

A snarl of frustration, but Cassian paid the sound no heed. Only grazed his thumbs over Nesta’s hipbones. Watched her expression in the mirror—the way her face contorted as she squirmed into his touch as if she was a puppet on strings. Ground back onto him, pressing into that building ache that was bordering on painful.

Fuck, Nesta.

Cassian wasn’t sure if he had spoken out loud or in his head, all he knew was the blessed, fleeting relief he felt as he bucked into the small of Nesta’s back on instinct. He was rock hard and thirsting to be touched, but the thickening scent of Nesta’s arousal pulled his focus.

A groan rumbled from Cassian’s throat as Nesta’s hand darted between her legs. He caught her wrist just in the nick of time. Kissed the heart of her palm. Rumbled into her ear, “Not yet, sweetheart.”

His voice was coarse enough that Nesta shivered, the goosebumps travelling down her skin like a cresting wave. She didn’t struggle against him, nor did she move to disobey him as he dropped her wrist. Instead, she waited, trembling and shaking at every pass of his thumbs over her skin.

Cassian buried his nose behind the shell of her ear. Breathed Nesta in, steadying the drum of his pulse.

Not once did he take his eyes off of hers in the mirror, especially as he murmured, “Shall we find out if you’re wet for me?”

Nesta squeezed her eyes tightly shut, as if the movement would steady her. Swallowed hard. It was so unlike her to take stock, to show any signs that she was rattled, that Cassian softened. He nuzzled at her neck, trailed a line of kisses instilled with promises. A hand flew up to tangle in Cassian’s hair, keeping him there.

“Yes.”

The word stuttered out of Nesta on several staccatos, but she forced her eyes open and met his gaze in the mirror. Watched as he pulled her tighter against him and hooked her legs over his thighs so she was spread wide. Slipped his hand across and down…

The first ghost of a touch had Nesta panting through her nose. The second had her gritting her teeth. The third had her moaning, her back bowing so sharply as he skimmed straight over the place she wanted him the most.

Her head hit the centre of his chest with a resounding thud that had his bones creaking, but she did not look away from him. Seemed to know the game they were playing without him having to express it.

When Cassian brought his fingers lower and discovered just how wet Nesta was, he had to force his wings in tight to his back to hide his surprise. Growled, “You’re soaked.”

Pleasure and embarrassment twisted in Cassian’s stomach, and Cassian wanted to tell her that it was not something to be ashamed of, that he wanted her just as much as she clearly wanted his fingers between her legs.

Her eyes glinted steel, her stare commanding. “Make me come—“ she ordered, but Cassian chose that moment to roll his finger over that spot at the apex of her thighs.

The command bottomed out of Nesta as she inhaled sharply. Satisfaction bloomed inside of Cassian; because he may have done this countless times before but barely enough with her. And nothing seemed to matter apart from him seeking out her satisfaction. Of learning about what made her body freeze with pleasure and what made her come undone. “There?” he murmured into her ear, repeating the movement, before he passed his fingers down further. Until they were at her entrance, playing gently before he drew upwards and circled.

This time, Nesta groaned. Her hips jerked sharply beneath him, tilting, guiding him to just the right place.

Picking up on the cue, Cassian increased the tempo and friction until Nesta’s hips were rolling in a punishing rhythm against the hard length of him.

And Cassian snarled in satisfaction, his fingers tightening around her hip in a plea for her to keep moving—to not stop pushing back on him—because it was blissfully good. The rapid tightening in his groin was almost painful, the cord so tight that Cassian thought it might snap. But he couldn’t stop Nesta, not when she looked so bewitching, the arousal so stark on her face as he stroked and circled and pressed.

Burning pleasure clambered to its peak and Nesta’s eyes grew so heavy they fluttered closed. Something unintelligible left her lips, her head tipping back into the heart of his chest.

When Nesta’s arms wound around his neck, her knuckles accidentally grazing the leather of his wings, Cassian part-snarled, part-roared. Swore. Held her even tighter as his wings snapped out high and mighty behind him. They wrapped around Nesta’s body before Cassian’s pleasure-fogged mind could stop them curling towards her, starved for her touch.

Fuck, he was unhinged. So desperate for relief—in the scent and feel of his mate—that his control was barely there. Enough so that he didn’t react when Nesta reached out her hand—

Sense knocked Cassian for six only when Nesta’s fingers were millimetres from touching the membrane. He drew back his wings so fast the air around them stormed, but he swooped in before surprise could register on Nesta’s face. Dipped his chin and coaxed her head even further back so he could claim her mouth.

The taste of her lips was as vital as breathing, the scrape of her nails on his scalp grounding. He moaned into her mouth at the same time as she whimpered. His hand was still moving between her legs, interchanging the same three patterns over and over again, mixing things up as soon as Nesta’s moans grew too untamed: he wanted to draw out her pleasure, not sate it with a few choice strokes.

Pulling away, Cassian pressed a kiss to her forehead. Coaxed her to dip her chin until she was looking back at their reflection in the mirror: ebony and golden brown, tan and cream.

Nesta’s irises were wisps of silver, but when he traversed past that bundle of nerves so he could slip two fingers inside of her, they flickered into living flame.

That was indication enough that she liked what he was doing. Cassian had quickly learnt that Nesta became completely readable between the sheets, that mask slowly crumbling away until she broke completely.

Curving his fingers as much as he could, Cassian pressed upwards hard—again and again— revelling in the strangled sounds Nesta made. The way she writhed but tried her best to hold his gaze.

Cassian dropped a lingering kiss to the crown of Nesta’s head. Murmured into her hair, “Is that good, sweetheart?”

The only response Cassian received was a long moan which extended into a whine as he withdrew his fingers. Then a sharp cry as he swept them upwards, swirling them in a well-practiced motion that had Nesta’s lower half seizing in pleasure.

Cassian circled again. Again. Firmer. Faster. Nesta’s cries grew louder, her breathing became more laboured. A silver wreathed hand flew to his forearm—not to stop him, but to keep him there.

Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.

The bond between them creaked and cracked as it expanded.

Nesta panted his name.

“Are you going to come for me, sweetheart?” Cassian scratched out.

In vain, Nesta attempted to burrow her head into his shoulder, but Cassian’s voice dropped out of soft and into the role of general within the fraction of a heartbeat. “Eyes on the mirror, Nesta, or I’ll stop.”

It seemed to take all of Nesta’s energy to fight her leaded eyelids and meet his dark eyes in their reflection. When she did, Cassian’s magic roared and pounded beneath his skin, as if it was trying to break free and join Nesta’s. There was a pressure and power fuelling the sensation that was separate to him. It was like the magnetic force which rules the relentless ebb and flow of the tide—that desperate crash followed by a scrabbling, thundering retreat.

That twisted rope between them grew corporeal, tugging at their ribcages as if it was clambering to remind them both of its existence. Of the cost of this exchange.

Something deepened in both of their gazes, but if Nesta had felt what Cassian had, she gave no indication. She only arched her hips back into his, grinding backwards.

Cassian loosed a rough groan that skittered across the shell of her ear. Her gaze was purposeful but hooded, as if she was in a continual battle with the pleasure weighting her eyelids.

“Good girl,” he praised as Nesta’s eyelashes fluttered from the strain of maintaining eye contact. And then his fingers were everywhere at once and Nesta’s moans fell away to short gasps that rose in volume.

Nesta tightened her fingers around his neck, scrabbling for purchase, for some sort of tether as her pleasure launched high into the air. The hand that had been at her hip, steadying her, encouraging her to roll back on him moved to her breast; cupping and pinching and rolling as she stuttered pants and words that Cassian couldn’t make out.

When Cassian slid two fingers inside of her again and pressed down firmly on her clit with his palm, Nesta’s cry was wild.

“Look at me,” Cassian ordered as Nesta’s eyes flew shut. His voice was resonant—startling—even to him. It punched through the bubble that had encased them—their entwined scent—and Nesta’s eyes snapped open.

For a beat, time seemed to stand still around them. Their gaze fastened back into place and for a moment, Cassian could see a conflict of thoughts swirl in the magic of Nesta’s irises.

He froze just as anguish crashed down that bond, right into the heart of his chest.

It knocked the breath from him. Confusion rattled inside of his head but he came up empty of answers. Had he gone too far? Had he hurt her somehow?

“Sweetheart—“ he started, but stopped. Unsure of what to say because he could still smell how much she wanted this. Could feel how soaked she was. But perhaps that was what the mating bond did. Fooled reason with an overwhelming drive to pleasure and claim.

Cassian went to draw his hand away but Nesta’s hand whipped out, her fingers curling around his wrist. Desperation flooded her next words—the plea in them stark. “Don’t stop.”

As if to punctuate her point, she rolled her hips. His fingers slid over her of her own accord and she stumbled a moan. Light barrelled down the bond and Cassian’s blood spiked, thrilled as he felt the truth of her words, as she ground back into him again.

“Fuck that feels good,” Cassian grunted into her ear. His hips pushed into the small of her back, accentuating his point. It chased the delicious reprieve from the ache in his cock, even as he knew this moment wasn’t about him. As he pulled her back into the solid muscle of his chest, steadying her movements so he could pick up where he left off: so he could watch the pleasure whip away her conflicted expression until her eyes were once again blazing with the promise of flame.

Silver mist climbed from Nesta’s fingertips into the air. It crawled over the glowing ruby siphons across the backs of his hands, past the corded muscle of his forearm and the rolled up sleeves of his tunic, to his chest, his neck…

A sheen of metal shone in Cassian’s eyes, flickering across his irises so they appeared to turn a metallic gold. The lick of Nesta’s magic didn’t burn. It was a rush of heat—the tender caress of a lover’s kiss instilled into his skin over and over again, ascending Cassian to another realm of pleasure, as if he’d climbed a staircase to an entirely new place.

It felt like an extended method of foreplay Cassian had never been privy to before, lighting up every nerve ending until he was so hard he could cut stone.

Gritting his teeth through the pain-cloaked pleasure, Cassian focussed instead on Nesta’s bare skin.

The tempting fullness of her breasts. The way desire had completely rewritten her countenance. The way she whimpered and then cried out.

Cassian sped up his movements. Until his fingers were no longer teasing, but dancing over her with sure, quick movements designed to thrust her towards a crescendo.

Nesta’s magic swirled into flame, the heat of it a licking promise down Cassian’s limbs. He groaned, swore at the exquisite pain on her face as she hung at the precipice, ready to plummet into rapture.

Her climax became a tangible, living thing and Cassian wanted to see it play out for as long as he possible could. Wanted to see her break for him again and again and again.

So, he waited until she reached the summit and when she was there he slowed down his movements. Ordered through her whimpering, “Look at me Nesta.”

Metallic irises met his, and then Nesta was trembling and shaking in fits and bursts as her release ripped out of her like a taut cord cut loose. Cassian drew her orgasm out as best he could, suspending that pleasure until finally Nesta slumped against him, spineless.

She turned her head to bury it in his shoulder and Cassian let her. Stroked her hair. Pressed a kiss to her sweaty head. Murmured, “Good?”

Slowly, Nesta nodded, but for a long while, that was the only communication he received. But Cassian let her recover. Watched the way her ribcage moved as she heaved for breath. Relished the way her body was splayed out over him, her legs held wide open from where they were hooked over his thighs.

Unable to help himself, Cassian brushed over her sex. Delighted in the way Nesta shuddered rather than batted him away. Fresh desire reignited across her expression and Cassian played gently for a few minutes, revelling in the wetness that had gathered from her release.

Finally, Nesta lifted her head to meet his gaze again. “Did I burn you?”

“No,” Cassian replied hoarsely, his heart squeezing at the genuine fear in her words. He let out a rough laugh, passed his fingers lightly over the knot at the apex of her legs for the last time before he withdrew them.

Nesta moaned softly, even as her brow twisted into a small frown.

“It felt good,” Cassian elaborated. He kissed her shoulder at the same time that he pushed his hips into hers as if to demonstrate just how much he’d liked her magic. “I’m being strangled to death in these pants,” he confessed.

When Nesta cocked her head, her hair moved in a golden tangle. Then she smirked. Unravelled her limbs from him and turned.

Nesta slung her legs over his waist so she was straddling him just as Cassian’s hands caught in her hair. A booming sounded as his wings snapped out and fanned behind him, settling like falling fabric.

“We can’t have that,” Nesta remarked, her breath a whisper against his skin.

“No,” Cassian agreed roughly. “It’s your favourite part.”

Nesta snorted a laugh, but it was not derisive. “Egotistical bat,” she muttered.

A slow, smug smile was Cassian’s only reply. Because he was more focussed on her mouth. With the feel of her silken skin beneath his palms as he ran them up her legs and over her rounded ass. His touch was a promise as he tugged her into his body and ground up into her core, the seam of his trousers doing nothing to relieve the damning ache in his cock.

Together they gasped, and then, as always, they moved at the same time, their mouths slanting one another within a fraction of a second.

The heat of Nesta was liquid, the touch of her smoke—feverish and everywhere all at once. It was the same heat that had roared into existence when Cassian had pinned her against the wall earlier, yet… better somehow. Passionate and awake rather than fogged with lust. Life-giving.

A shuddered groan was pulled from Cassian’s chest as Nesta’s hands slid beneath his tunic and met his burning skin. And then the tunic was on the floor—the rest of his clothing was torn from him soon after. It all happened at such speed Cassian could barely keep up, but when Nesta reached for his bare, burning skin—the tattoos on his arms and the faint scar on his stomach—her fingers were gentle.

“Battle scar,” Cassian panted in explanation, as Nesta’s fingers lingered on the silvery tissue that wound over his lower abdomen: a permanent reminder of what had happened to him during the final battle with Hybern. “The trauma was too great for Madja to heal completely.”

“I remember,” Nesta replied shortly and she looked so fierce that Cassian reached for her. Cupped her cheek with his palm.

“Still breathing, Nes.”

Nesta nodded, but when she kissed him this time there was something fierce and desperate about it, her fingers burying deeper into the mane of his hair.

And then a hand was trailing down his skin and closing around his cock. The touch was sinful and a glimpse of the heavens. When he hissed into her mouth, Nesta gripped tighter—until pain laced the pleasure—just how he liked it.

His groan was that of rumbling thunder as she began to move her hand. It was everything Cassian needed, but it was too much, too good. He scrambled to hold on to some sense of control, because he’d never been this close to losing it from just a few touches.

Then Nesta stopped. Glanced downwards—

The realisation thumped through Cassian so loudly his heartbeat punched like a fist against his ribcage.

“Don’t you dare,” Cassian choked out.

Nesta’s eyes shot to his, but rather than looking startled she arched a challenging eyebrow.

“If you so much as try to put my cock in your mouth I’ll explode,” Cassian rasped.

Before she could protest, he was gathering her to him and had slipped a hand down between her legs.

Just the touch of his fingers had Cassian seizing back control. Nesta stilled at the sudden pleasure, as if she was trying to coax time into suspending the sensation.

“Still so wet,” Cassian purred against the tip of her ear.

Gliding his fingers over the centre of her, Cassian paused briefly at the apex of her legs, toying with her clit, before he ran them back down. When he drew his fingers back, rubbing them together and raising them to the faelight, they glittered.

Nesta’s nostrils flared as if she was an animal in heat. And Cassian knew before he spoke that his voice? would be what pushed them over the edge. But he said it anyway, his voice dropping impossibly low, “Is this all for me?”

Nesta launched at him until their mouths collided, until they were nothing but a clash of teeth and tongues, their skin so flush they may as well have been fused together.

Burying her fingers deeper into the tangled mane of his hair, Nesta tugged sharply. Met his gaze head on. Demanded, “Fuck me.”

All it took was those two words. Cassian moved, flipping them so Nesta’s back was flush against the mattress. He covered her body with his and Nesta whined at the contact, her body bending and arching towards him as if she were a plant and he was sunlight.

Cassian ran a hand up her bare thigh to her ass, coaxing her leg to bend, but Nesta was too impatient. She broke free from the weight of his body, repositioning herself until legs were wrapped tightly around his hips.

An uneven laugh choked out of him. “So stubborn,” Cassian chided darkly, but he allowed his hips to fall into the cradle of hers. Hissed as he loosed his control and thrust so his cock could glide through her centre. “Fuck,” he grunted. “Nesta, fuck.”

Nesta’s breathy whine fuelled the sparks of pleasure that crackled through him like static energy. He kissed her hard. “There’s a high probability I won’t survive this.”

The snort Nesta loosed tried to sound unaffected, but her voice shook as she accused him, “Liar.”

But he wasn’t lying. And Nesta knew it. She had to know it because his walls were now shattered around them in splintered shards.

Yet, Cassian found himself assuring her. “Not lying," he grunted as he passed over her again. Pressed a lingering kiss to her mouth—a parting goodbye as he moved to kiss the underside of her jaw, down the column of her throat. Down further, to flick his tongue and scrape his teeth over both nipples.

He moaned when she moaned; their sounds a chorus of want until he couldn’t take it anymore. Cassian’s claws clipped around the metal of the bed frame at the same time that he pushed off of the palms that were framing her face, until he was on his knees before her.

Despite the desire coursing through him, Cassian’s head was nothing but clear as he slid his hands under Nesta’s ass and lifted her effortlessly, positioning her so that the undersides of her thighs were flush against his knees.

Nesta’s hair was tousled over the pillow, her lips swollen and parted as she surveyed him. When she tried to wrap her legs back around his hips, Cassian held firm. And despite the fact that Nesta listened to nobody, she allowed him to bend her knees and press his calloused palms to the insides of her thighs in silent instruction.

They fell open and a growl rumbled in Cassian’s throat. His hand was fisting his cock, lining it up to her entrance before he knew what was happening. But then he remembered the pain from before. And even though Nesta was more than ready for him, the thought of hurting her made him feel physically sick.

When he moved away, Nesta let out a strangled noise. A hand shot out, closing around his wrist. “You said you’d fuck me.”

Cassian wanted to explain, but that meant alluding to that tie between them, that instinct that couldn’t allow him to see her hurt. Cassian knew Nesta wasn’t ready for that. Knew that if he so much as breathed a word about it that this precious moment would fall away.

And Cassian was selfish. He had to see how this played out. Had to know if Nesta could grow to accept the bond between them—deem him worthy enough to accept something that was Cauldron blessed.

So, he only drawled, “Patience is a virtue, sweetheart.”

One swift movement had Cassian gathering Nesta into his arms. This time, he allowed Nesta’s legs to wind around him. She gripped him like a vice and Cassian knew it wasn’t from fear of him dropping her. When he sat back against the headboard and guided her onto his lap, Cassian expected her to bite out a comment about doing all of the work, but Nesta only let out a pleased sound. Weaved a hand back into his ebony hair. Wrapped a tight fist around his length, twisting once at the tip, before she guided him to her entrance.

Cassian hissed a curse as she closed around the head. Murmured her name into her mouth. Gripped tightly at her hips when she didn’t stop sinking down on him, as he felt that pain mixed with the sweetest pleasure.

“Nesta.” The way he said her name was firm and commanding, but he still had to dig his fingers hard enough into her skin that he was sure it would leave temporary bruises. The thought made him falter, but then that sharp pain flared again as she resisted against him, and he knew that the bruises were a necessary evil. “Nesta,” he barked, “Go slowly.”

Something creaked and cracked between them. A stretching, growing pain reached its fingers down that bond, the sensation strong rather than constricted as it fought to make its way down their usually thin tie.

Nails dug into Cassian’s neck. A whimper sounded in his ears as Nesta fell forwards, burying her face into his neck. “Please,” she whined in frustration. “Cassian—”

She broke off as she clamped down around him and Cassian felt an ebb of pleasure cut through the pain—that promise of something more.

“Don’t make me hurt you, sweetheart,” Cassian pleaded and the rawness in his voice stopped her resisting against him. He eased a hand between them, touched her right where she wanted him. Allowed her to tug his face upwards so she could kiss him. It was infused with desperation and Cassian eased his hold on her hip. Allowed her to lower herself downwards until she had slid another inch deeper. Continued to stroke her until Nesta began to shake.

“I’m going to—,” Nesta gasped against his mouth. Her body trembled and Cassian’s blood roared at bringing her to the edge again so soon, despite the pain. “Cassian—”

Abruptly, Cassian moved his hand away.

Nesta’s snarl whipped around the room, but Cassian smoothed the sound away by fusing his mouth on hers. She stopped shaking but the sharp bite of Nesta’s glare pierced its teeth through his flesh in a flash of silver.

“It will be better if you wait,” Cassian gritted out in explanation when they parted. Nesta’s breath gusted against his skin. “And I don’t think I can hold on if you come so soon. You feel so good, Nesta. So tight.”

As if on cue, Nesta contracted around him and Cassian ground his teeth together so hard that the muscle in his jaw worked. But he let Nesta slide down on him another inch. Then another. And another. Until their hips were finally flush with one another and that pain had bled away until it was nothing.

The moaned words that fell from Nesta were indistinguishable, but he felt her tremor. Felt that surge inside of him as Nesta repeated herself with a whine that indicated she was toppling over the ledge of control, like a glass teetering before it fell.

And then she was moving and Cassian let her. He was unable to think or breathe. Could only focus on the feel of her.

“Fuck,” Cassian groaned. His head thunked back hard against the headboard as she ground her hips into his, testing the feel of him. “This is better than I’d dreamed.”

No soft snicker, only an untamed whine. Then teeth scraping a sinful path down his neck to his pulse.

Cassian’s hips kicked up hard as her teeth nipped.

“Sorry,” he gasped, because even though Nesta had told him not to hold back, he was still concerned about hurting her. But Nesta’s fingernails bit into his skin and her body moulded to him—a delicious second skin—as she inhaled sharply. “Again,” she demanded with a fierceness that did not allow disobedience. “Do that again—”

It didn’t take a second command for Cassian to thrust up hard. And true to her word, Nesta took him all. Did not change her mind and ask him to hold back. Instead, Cassian knew that this was exactly what she wanted—no, needed. She needed this punishing rhythm just as much as he did.

And it felt… incredible. Beyond anything Cassian had ever felt before. The blood roaring in his ears intermingled with Nesta’s cries and the slap of his hips meeting hers, was the only thing he could hear, his senses narrowed down to the sensation of her wrapped around him, so tight …

It was too good. It threatened to break him, to take everything that he was and reform it entirely, as if he was going to shatter and be pieced back together as someone else entirely. The air around them became taut with pressure, tanning leather stretched too tight over a rack, as if their joining controlled one of the essential elements.

“Cassian.” That one word threatened to break him. Not bat or it or you, only his name falling from her lips as if it was their secret. “More.”

Exhaling a curse, Cassian planted his feet firmly on the mattress and thrust up with as much vigour as he could muster. The movement had them slipping from their upright position and Cassian’s claws absent-mindedly closed around the metal bed frame, strapping them in for the ride as his body coiled and tensed as he slammed into her over and over.

Nesta cried out. Grabbed fistfuls of his hair as they moved together as if they had been made for this moment, their wild gasps melded together until they were one.

Only when release teetered too close to the edge did Cassian drop the rhythm. Cupped the breasts he had dreamed of more times than he could count. The breasts he’d had the privilege of seeing bare and glorious only twice before.

Capturing a nipple between his teeth, Cassian scraped his teeth hard enough that Nesta stopped rocking and angled her hips until he was pressing impossibly deep inside her. She whimpered. Clenched and unclenched. Throbbed in a way that told him she was as close as he was—that if he wasn’t so close himself, he could drive her over the edge with a few well-timed thrusts.

The understanding had him letting out a jagged groan. “Are you close, sweetheart?”

A whine in response, but Cassian didn’t let it go. He raked back the hair from her sweaty forehead. Pressed his lips to her swollen ones in a lingering kiss. Watched the frown that knitted her brow as she was overtaken by the feel of them.

“What do you need, Nesta. Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”

Nesta wound her hands around his head, buried her face into his neck. Began swaying and circling her hips in a rhythm that was dictated purely by the chase of pleasure. “Just… this,” she panted. “I just need this.”

Then it was only the licking fire of her breath against his skin. The magic that curled around them like a heated blanket and the building anticipation of both of their releases, which pulled at him like a strange sort of magnetism, begging him to fall with her in unison.

“Cassian—” Nesta began in warning, but he had already felt her begin to quake, as if the ground was moving beneath their feet—the mountains trembling.

That pull became a driving force—a cresting wave of pleasure so profound that Cassian felt that twist inside of him—that signal that he was about to join her.

He groaned, jerking his head back so it collided with wood, the pain grounding him enough that he could say, “That’s it, sweetheart. Come for me.”

As soon as the words left his lips, Nesta broke, as if she’d been waiting for him to ask it of her. Her cry was muffled and Cassian wanted to tear her mouth from his neck—to hear her break for him—but then she was sinking her teeth into his skin right over his pulse.

Roaring, Cassian kicked his hips up hard on instinct as she marked him, but the shock distracted him. Clouded the desperate clamber of his release so he could hold himself back.

Cassian held tightly onto Nesta as she slumped against him. When she lifted her teeth from him, Nesta whined like an animal. Dragged her tongue over the dent she’d made in his neck—once, twice, three times.

He shuddered. Couldn’t help it. Turned his face into her hair. Breathed her in. The gesture was tender, like an animal tending to the wound of a significant other—its mate.

And wrapped in this moment, Cassian could almost believe that this was something more than sex for Nesta as her forehead came to rest on his collarbone. As she kissed the hollow of his throat. Then the knot. His lips.

“Good?” Cassian asked softly. He lifted a hand to her face, ran a calloused thumb over her cheekbone.

Nesta made a rare, content sound that vibrated through him like a balm. She leant into his hand, her eyelashes swooping down.

When she finally pulled back to survey him, her eyes were still dark. She shifted her hips. Moaned quietly. Rasped, “You’re still hard.”

It was a miracle Cassian hadn’t followed. If it hadn’t been for her teeth in his neck, Cassian would have been wrestling with the embarrassment of finishing too soon.

“I was too preoccupied with your teeth in my neck.”

A flush crept its way up Nesta’s face, like vines reaching their wicked encroaching fingers up a wall. But she raised her chin. “You wanted me to do it.”

It was true, he had wanted her to. And he wanted to do the same to her—to mark her as his so everyone would know that she was off limits for the brief hours before her body healed.

“And what about you?”

The patter of Nesta’s heart broke into a sprint. It was the only thing that betrayed her feelings, her expression devoid of any reaction. “What do you mean?”

Cassian leant forward until their noses brushed. Lifted his eyebrows. “Do you want me to bite you, Nesta?”

Nesta’s nostrils flared. If she had wings, they’d have flung wide by now. Would have collided with furniture and cut through air.

That was answer enough.

In one movement, Cassian lifted himself up and over, until Nesta was on her back and he was pressing her body into the mattress. Breath gushed out of her lungs but it was not from fear, not as Nesta turned herself out bare and tilted her chin for him—for once not in defiance but as an act of vulnerability—of complete and utter trust.

Every instinct in Cassian clambered to the surface, but he closed a fist around it until its life fluttered against the cage of his palms and fingers: his to control, rather than the other way around.

Slowly, Cassian lowered his nose to the exposed skin and breathed her in: her scent and the life that pummelled beneath her skin, the roaring of her blood as it crashed through her veins. It took everything in him not to move inside of her, to thrust up hard and feel the way her breasts would move against his chest.

“I could do it right here,” Cassian murmured, his mouth ghosting over the pale column of her neck until he came across that pulse. He brushed a tongue across it.

The movement was a mirror of what he’d done before in the human realm and Nesta knew it. But this time she did not jerk back from him demanding what he’d done. Instead, her body drew up beneath him, exposing more of her neck, begging for more.

Cassian groaned, raking his teeth over that swell at the same time that he pushed in deep. Nesta’s groan was guttural and everything. His blood turned molten, so hot that he expected his skin to melt away until he was nothing but bones.

“Please,” Nesta panted, her fingers tightening around his back.

Another flick of his tongue over her pulse. “Do you want me to bite you or fuck you?”

“Both.”

That was enough to loosen the fist on Cassian’s control. He sat back on his knees, prying her hands from his neck, coaxing her fingers until they were above her head and clasped around the railings of the headboard. Nesta’s breasts rose with the movement, her peaked nipples so tempting he bent to take one into his mouth. Then the other. Suckled until she mewled and her nipples were no longer rosy but red from his attention.

Cassian lifted his head and surveyed Nesta. Warned her, “Hold on tight.”

And then there was no thinking, no worrying or desperation to hold back. It all came as easy as breathing, their tempo,the snap of his hips and the shift of the mattress as her body shouldered the impact. At some point, Cassian’s body fell over hers, needing to feel every inch of her against him. His wild, punishing rhythm dropped into a rough rocking that was intimate at the same time it was claiming.

Nesta didn’t seem to mind—let out a pleased moan of consent, her legs clamping tighter around his hips until they were flush with hers. When he next moved she whined, and Cassian felt that change inside of her—somehow—that twisting fist of pleasure that glimmered down the bond, pushing against the walls of that thread, pushing it wider and wider, like a heart expanding.

Silver-wreathed fingers tugged his head down until Nesta could claim his mouth, fusing them together so they were complete. Cassian shuddered as her fire cascaded from her fingertips and down his body. His magic, attracted to hers, began to suck out of his pores, but it didn’t leech him of power. Instead, it was like his magic was searching for its mate, desperate to be reunited.

Then that sensation again, as if Cassian had ducked beneath something and had come up for air somewhere else.

Ruby greeted silver like a long-lost lover, blending until their magic was a metallic sheen of scarlet—a fog that misted their bodies, rubbing tantalisingly against their skin as they rocked and moaned their way to release.

“Don’t stop,” Nesta begged desperately through stuttered breaths, and Cassian wondered how many times she’d reached this pinnacle with other males only for it to be taken from her.

Cassian’s hand found its way to her face, his thumb stroking over her cheek as that coiled release twisted across her devastatingly beautiful face. “Can’t,” he panted honestly, his other hand searching for hers across the mattress until he was clasping it—holding on for dear life. “I’m so close, sweetheart. You have no idea how good you feel.”

“Come with me then,” Nesta pleaded. Her eyelashes had fluttered downwards as she took in a sharp breath of pleasure, but now they opened. Stared deep into his soul. “Come with me—”

Then her body turned both loose and taut, clamping yet completely molten as her release ripped out of her.

“Fuck,” Cassian swore. Invisible hands clasped around his ass, tugging him deeper—deeper. Everything in him tightened as Nesta crashed around him, and that siren called to him, singing her name, over and over as pleasure clawed at him, desperate to whip out of him.

Nesta, Nesta, Nesta.

Cassian launched at her neck, his teeth sinking deep enough to claim as Nesta cried out, her body trembling as he continued to thrust into her, wringing out her release at the same time he desperately clambered towards his own.

He managed to pull out just in time, his teeth still deep in her neck, his release spilling hot onto her stomach in bursts of pleasure.

And even though Cassian had vowed to bite her and Nesta had already marked him, he found himself apologising at the red, angry dents in her skin. How was it that he couldn’t bare to hurt her but biting her neck was a completely different story?

“Sorry,” Cassian rasped. His mouth was as dry as a desert as he gingerly touched his fingers to the marks, but Nesta’s fingers clasped around his, halting him. Then she raised her other hand and brushed her knuckles over the identical marking on his. Reminding him that she’d done the same—had been the first to do it.

“I liked it,” Nesta admitted brazenly, but she didn’t stop him from dragging his tongue over the marks. Shivered instead. Held his head to her.

“That was intense,” Cassian rasped eventually against her ear, after the quiet had settled over them like a blanket. He nuzzled at her neck again, unable to help it—just one more precious moment like this until he had to pull away.

When Cassian pulled back to meet Nesta’s eyes, he found that the blue bled back into her irises. “It was always going to be intense,” she replied frankly.

Then Nesta looked down at her body, as if she’d only just remembered how he’d marked her in a different way. “You didn’t have to do that—pull out. I can take a tonic.”

Cassian hadn’t wanted to pull out at all—and neither had that tie which bound them together—but that wasn’t the point. “I’d rather be cautious,” he explained—a little too shortly, because Nesta bristled.

“Neither of us have had a tonic in a while,” Cassian elaborated when Nesta’s expression hardened.

He tried not to think about how his body had been desperate to spill inside of her. For him to press as deep as he possibly could until he was spent.

Climbing off of the bed, Cassian disappeared down the hallway and into the bathroom. When he returned, he was holding a wet towel.

“A while?” Nesta queried, picking up their conversation, as he began to clean her up.

Cassian cocked an eyebrow, but he didn’t dare meet her eyes lest she read him. His shoulders turned rigid at the thought. “Have you been sneaking people in and out of the bungalow that I’m not aware of?” he asked.

They both knew that Cassian would tear any male she brought back to the bungalow to pieces, but neither of them voiced it.

“You go back to Velaris,” Nesta accused. “You visit the other camps.”

For a moment, Cassian stared at her. Did she believe that he’d been fucking other fae? She had taunted him in Velaris the other day, but Cassian had thought that it was just their extended, agonising tussle of foreplay.

Perhaps you should go in search of some female company tonight.

Cassian managed to huff a breath, but it wasn’t one of amusement. He knew that his expression was steely as he said, “I told you that I don’t sleep with Illyrians. And I haven’t been fucking around in Velaris.”

From the way Nesta’s expression darkened, Cassian wasn't sure she believed him.

She opened her mouth to throw back a retort, but Cassian wanted the discussion to end. If she knew he’d barely touched another female since he’d met her, she’d run the other way. It was too intense a confession for someone who didn’t know what they wanted.

“It was self-inflicted,” Cassian supplied, his tone flinty enough to warn her that he wasn’t willing to discuss the subject any further.

Climbing off of the bed to further his point, Cassian extended a hand towards her. Banished any of the rigidity to his posture. “Come stand in the tub with me.”

There was a sinful promise behind the order. Already Cassian could envisage how he’d press Nesta against the tiles, his lips trailing open mouthed kisses as he kneeled before her—

Nesta must have thought similarly, because the pleasure that sparked in his stomach was not his own. But still she studied him, her head cocked as if she was trying to figure him out. Her hair was a muss of golden brown, her skin glistening with sweat that Cassian wanted to lick off.

Nesta parted her lips, taking stock, but Cassian didn’t allow her to speak. “I’ll make it worth your while,” he vowed. Meant it. Because already he was turning hard again, that desire to have her roaring.

He’d known this would happen. Knew that finally being inside of her wouldn’t sate him but stoke the embers into flames. But Cassian didn’t hide it—utterly unashamed of this need for her. From the way Nesta’s nostrils billowed, he knew she'd marked the change in his scent.

Nesta’s eyes flicked to his cock and the she-devil smirked, her lips curving in a way that had Cassian thinking about how they might wrap around him—how her tongue might feel, how warm she’d be…

In one supple movement, Nesta stood. Took his hand, her slim fingers threading around his large ones. Raised her chin and levelled him with a smoky blue gaze that promised wicked, wonderful things. “Then lead the way, general.”

Tags (let me know if you want to be added/removed): @arinbelle @superspiritfestival @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @mylittlebigplanet @biggestwingspan-az @bellsqueen @ekaterinakostrova @bookstantrash @prophecyerised @rainbowcheetah512 @awesomelena555 @wannawriteyouabook @lovelynesta @melphss @darkshadowqueensrule @laylaameer01 @a-trifling-matter @grouchycritic7794 @thalia-2-rose @champanheandluxxury @swankii-art-teacher @princessconsuela02 @lavendergoomsltd @princessofmerchants-reads @jeakat @sjm-things @imwritingthesewords @nestable @inejbrekkxr @silvernesta @inyourmindeye @amelie775 @helen-the-weirdo @pizzaneverdisappoints @wishfulimaginings @trash-for-nessian @my-fan-side @sophilightwood @valkyriesupremacy @vidalinav @onceupona-chaos @inardour @thesunremembersyourface @teagoddess99 @ellies-iced-coffee @nehemikkele @misswonderflower

#embersandlightfic #duskandstarlightwrites #nessian fic #nessianfanfic #nessian smut #acosf #acosf fanfic #acotar #acotar fanfic #sjmaas #nesta x cassian #nesta archeron #cassian #morrigan #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #feyre #elain archeron #rhysand

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neon-junkie · 3 years

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Question actually: how do you find the motivation to do makeup and just look perfect? I absolutely love how you look and this year I wanna try looking better, but I'm just so fuckin lazy and it's just ugggghhhhh

AKJFLKDJSLKGJKL thank you!!!!!!!!!! I had that same mindset last year, that I just wanted to spend a little more time/effort on my appearance. Heres some stuff I did that really helped: 1. I know this site is whack and full of stolen content, but Pinterest is great to find outfits, hairstyles, makeup looks, etc. I have so many boards on there for all the styles I like and when I’m getting ready, I tend to quickly scroll thru my boards to find the right look for me that day. 2. Binge watch makeup and hair tutorials on youtube. I can sit and watch those things for hours. I learnt way more from youtube than I did during my uni course, plus you’re supporting those content creators with views/likes so its a win-win for everyone!!! 3. Practise practise practise. When I first started trying new things with my style, I’d begin getting ready an extra 30 mins before I usually do, mostly because I’d fuck up my hair/makeup quite a bit before getting it right. You just have to keep practising and remind yourself that you’ll eventually get there. It does get really frustrating but if you find yourself getting worked up then just stop bothering with it and come back to it at a later time. I’ve fucked up so many hairstyles especially, given up on them, then tried them again a few days later and managed to eventually do them. So satisfying when you finally manage it >:) 4. Try and get rid of that damaging mindset of ‘oh they look better than me and i’ll never be able to look like that.’ I’m not saying you have it, but I used to have it and I never realised how much it was affecting me and my confidence. You’ve gotta view it from the perspective of ‘oh they look great and I know I could look great in that style too!’ 5. As for motivation, remind yourself that you’re doing this for YOU. Yeah, some days I just cba to get up and get ready when I could be in bed, but I remind myself that I want to look good for myself, but also because it really helps my self-confidence issues. For me, it’s crazy that putting some eyeliner on and making my hair look decent can really help me feel so-much-more confident :0) Hopefully this helps??!?!?!?!!?!

#the rat speaks #inkrabbit

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oneflydude · 3 years

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im so sorry this is literally my third post about voltron i havent felt this compelled to talk about a show so much lol

im just gonna be rambling about really random things so uh, if thats your thing then go ahead and read on adventuerer!

okay so like halfway through on of the episodes i had an epiphany about how the team would name things.

okay so basically, keith would be SO boring with naming. like i mean he didnt even bother naming Kosmo for TWO years because he thought that the wolf would, and i quote, "tell me its name". which i mean yeah its a magical space wolf but it doesnt exactly talk keith. i can just imagine him being like

"hey keith, oh you have a new pet! nice whats its name :)?"

"... red?"

he would 100% just come up with a random name on the spot if someone asks and just go along with it cause he cba.

lance would put so much effort into finding the perfect name. like i KNOW, i can just FEEL like he would scour the internet for names with meanings that sound cool. or maybe im projecting. idk either that or he would choose the dumbest name imagineable, like sandwich.

allura would choose a name steeped in mythos and history. or like the name of altean royalty or something.

pidge, as per her amazing chip naming, puns. something funny or techy. or maybe the name of a video game character, i feel she would do that.

hunk is totally a (i forgot the word lmao) and would name things after places hes been or people he knows. or maybe he would name tings after alien foods, they do make pretty interesting names. that or he would name it after something maths based, like the uh fau something lines.

literally have no clue how shiro would name things my mind is pulling blanks

in that one dungueons and dragons rip off episode i was literally in TEARS at the fact of all the things he couldve been, lance made him self a CATBOY. A CATBOY!!! lance struck me more as a dogboy but like, catboy lance is canon now i dont make the rules.

like yk that scale on ig thats like, how much a character is a cat or dog person. yeah lance is catboy.

keith is dog cause he literally owns a wolf. pidge would hate cats so dog, and hunk is like, in the middle????

allura is definitely a cat person. her vibe screams cat person. coran seems like a dog person? or like maybe a fish person. he would own a fish. or maybe pidge would own a fish, idk.

shiro is a dog person, 100% his vibes are person who owns a huge dog. a huge, big fluffy dog that looks like it could kill you but probably wont.

pet peeve, but why didnt they change suit colours when they changed lions? i get that its probably so people can still tell whos whos since theyre all like colour coded and shit but come ON. it makes no sense and looks really weird when someone in a blue suit is literally piloting a RED lion. like they even switched BAYARDS BUT SUIT COLOUR?? NOOOO. and i get that allura wearing pink is to "honour the dead" but it just feels like an exuse for her to be in a different colour so they can differenciate her from the team.

idk it would be much cooler if like when you switch lions, your suit colour magically changes as well. idk. it would also be SO funny cause like everyones used to certain people being in certain colours so imagine during when lance is in the red lion and his suit is red so someone thinks hes keith and idk some hijinks ensue.

i know its a very small peeve but still.

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #vld #vld rambling #vld shitpost

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nbatrades · 33 years

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Charlotte Hornets Acquire Eric Leckner from Sacramento for Two Second Round Picks

On January 29th, 1991, the Charlotte Hornets traded a 1993 second round draft pick (Alex Holcombe) and a 1995 second round draft pick (Dejan Bodiroga) to the Sacramento Kings for Eric Leckner.

The Sacramento Kings originally acquired center Eric Leckner along with guard Bobby Hansen and three future draft picks in a three-team trade that saw Pervis Ellison end up in Washington and Jeff Malone go to Utah.

Leckner joined a Kings team that had Ralph Sampson at center, but the position would become crowded quickly. Soon after acquiring Leckner, the Kings drafted center Duane Causwell in the first round of the 1990 draft. Next, they traded for center Bill Wennington from the Dallas Mavericks.

The pack of centers would compete for playing time and Leckner oftentimes found himself as the odd man out. Kings head coach Dick Motta preferred a center that could operate from the high post and Leckner’s paint-based style of play clashed with Motta’s vision. Leckner’s lack of playing time would cause a deep fissure in the relationship between coach and player.

In 32 games with the Kings, Leckner was averaging 2.9 PPG, 2.7 RPG and 0.6 APG in 11.8 MPG. Operating out of the high post was also hurting his efficiency, as he was shooting a career-low 40.6% from the field.

Leckner had wanted to be traded. He was in the final year of his contract, earning $475,000 for the 1990-91 season. Looking to secure a new deal, Leckner was offered by Kings director of player personnel Jerry Reynolds the chance to leave in a trade or stay on the bench the rest of the season. Leckner approved the trade and was dealt to the Charlotte Hornets. The Kings were 12-28 when they dealt Leckner.

Charlotte gave Sacramento two second rounders. One was in 1995 and the other — in 1993 — was conditional. Leckner had to be on Charlotte’s roster a year from the trade for the Hornets to convey their 1993 second rounder to Sacramento.

Charlotte was 13-27 when they acquired Leckner. Relying heavily on veteran center Mike Gminski, the Hornets were often playing smaller players at center and needed a big body to fill the position as a reserve. The team went 13-29 the rest of the way to finish fourth-worst in the NBA with a 26-56 record. Leckner was given an opportunity to play in Charlotte, and showed some signs of development. He had three double-doubles in 58 games with Charlotte after failing to record one in his first 184 games in the league. Overall, the 6-foot-11 center produced 5.8 PPG, 5.2 RPG and 0.3 APG in 18.6 MPG.

The Hornets won the 1991 draft lottery and drafted UNLV star forward Larry Johnson. with the first overall pick. Charlotte head coach Gene Littles moved to the front office and vice president Allan Bristow shifted to head coach in a organizational realignment.

Leckner did not sign a contract with the Hornets until right before training camp. He ended up with a one-year, $618,000 deal keeping him in Charlotte. Under new coach Bristow, the Hornets planned to play 6-foot-9 J.R. Reid more often at center. That meant Leckner would have to fight to receive any minutes on the court.

He suffered, playing less often as many of the center minutes went to Reid, Gminski and Kenny Gattison. Leckner appeared in 59 games (two starts), and recorded 3.3 PPG, 3.5 RPG and 0.5 APG in 12.1 MPG. Charlotte dropped 24 of their first 32 games to start the season. The team would play better behind the efforts of 1991-92 Rookie of the Year Johnson and Kendall Gill. Still, they finished out of the playoffs and in the lottery once again with a 31-51 mark.

Charlotte won the second spot in the 1992 NBA Draft and selected Georgetown center Alonzo Mourning with the second overall pick. Mourning’s addition — plus the presence of Gattison and Gminski on the roster — dropped Charlotte’s interest in retaining Leckner. He was not re-signed.

Leckner was not able to catch on with an NBA team in the 1992 offseason. He ended up heading over to Italy and playing for Panna Firenze of the Serie A2 League in Italy. Leckner ended his Hornets tenure with a stat line of 99 games played, 4.3 PPG, 4.2 RPG and 0.5 APG. He shot 49% from the field and 62% from the free-throw line.

The conditional 1993 second rounder the Kings acquired from Charlotte was conveyed since Leckner played past the 1991-92 season with the Hornets. The acquired draft pick was slotted at 44th in the 1993 draft. Sacramento selected 6-foot-9 Baylor center Alex Holcombe. Considered a raw athlete with an NBA body, Holcombe had a 7-foot-5 wingspan and 9-foot-3 standing reach. Holcombe did not play in summer camp with the Kings because he committed to playing in Europe.

During the 1993-94 season, Holcombe played in Spain (CB Breogán) before becoming homesick. He moved on to the CBA (Grand Rapids Hoops) for the rest of the season. He played with the Kings in 1994 Summer League at the Rocky Mountain Revue. Holcombe’s draft rights were renounced by the Kings in October of 1994.

The 1995 second rounder the Kings had secured in the trade from Charlotte ended up in the 51st spot of the 1995 draft. Sacramento used the pick on Serbian forward Dejan Bodiroga. A 6-foot-8 point-forward, Bodiroga was a unique player. Though he wasn’t the best shooter or quickest player, he drew comparisons to Magic Johnson due to his size and ability to pass the ball.

The Kings attempted to woo Bodiroga to come to the United States, but he passed on multiple occasions. In 1996, the Kings were interested in using their $800,000 exception on Bodiroga, but he never signed. In 2002, Bodiroga was tempted to come, but he never committed.

A star in Europe, Bodiroga played for some of the top teams in the EuroLeague including Olimpia Milano, Real Madrid, Panathinaikos and FC Barcelona. He was well decorated, winning three EuroLeague championships and 2002 All-Europe Player of the Year.

There were a few questions about whether Bodiroga could play the NBA game, but many believed he had the skill. Still, despite all of Sacramento’s overtures, Bodiroga never played in the NBA, retiring professionally in 2007. The Kings waited more than 22 years after drafting Bodiroga before renouncing their rights to the 44-year old Serbian forward.

Eric Leckner on the trade (via the Sacramento Bee):

“Being mad or bitter now isn’t going to change anything so I’m just going to look at this as a great opportunity to start over. I’m going to get to play some serious minutes in Charlotte. I get to go to work now.”

On wanting to leave (via the Sacramento Bee):

“I just want to get out of here. I could go and talk to him (Motta) about it but it wouldn’t do any good.”

On being in the doghouse in Sacramento (via the Charlotte Observer):

“I’m in the front row of that doghouse. That was not about ability It was personality or playing style. Yeah I was in that doghouse — right next to Ralph [Sampson].”

On wanting to prove himself:

“It’s time for Eric Leckner to do something.”

How he brings a different skill set compared to starting center Mike Gminski:

“I bring a contrast to Gminski. He’s a little sneaky with a lot of 10-foot jump shots I’m strictly a back-to-the-basket player. You put a guy 20 feet from the basket and not let him rebound — that's not my style. I spent more time in the paint in practice today than I did the whole time in Sacramento.”

Charlotte Hornets vice president of basketball operations Allan Bristow on acquiring Leckner (via Deseret News):

“Eric will provide us depth inside without sacrificing our immediate future. He will also spell [Mike] Gminski from playing too many minutes and since he is such a young player, we hope to help him reach his promising potential.”

Sacramento Kings head coach Dick Motta on Leckner (via the Sacramento Bee):

“He was so uptight. The high-post, low-post thing is a cop-out. If you want to score in the low post you’ll get there.”

How having four centers was an issue in Sacramento (via the Sacramento Bee):

“We should never have come out of training camp with four centers. We didn’t know that Ralph Sampson was going to be with us for the whole year. It wasn’t fair to us. It wasn’t fair to any of them. Between Bill Wennington and Eric, we felt Bill gave us more.”

On Leckner being nervous (via the Charlotte Observer):

“Every time he got in a game he seemed to be nervous. With four centers here there was no chance for any of them to relax. It wasn’t fair to them or us. I hope he looks at it as us breaking up a logjam not picking on Eric Leckner.”

On how an incident where Leckner kicked a chair out of frustration meant more than just the chair (via the Sacramento Bee):

“When I’m upset with myself I never let anyone know it. That’s my edge. When Eric kicked that chair, I told him the chair would still be there tomorrow and so would the anxiety that had built up inside of him. He had so much anxiety. He never learned to relax and play.”

On the roster glut at the center position:

“You can’t have four centers. I didn’t think Ralph would be here. I had to go with Duane [Causwell] because he needs experience. I want him to play 2,000 minutes this year. Maybe it’s a mistake because he hasn’t earned those minutes, but I’ve got to do it. That left Eric and Bill [Wennington]. I thought Bill gave us more. Any way you look at it, it wasn’t a good situation.”

On Leckner’s dissatisfaction with his role in Sacramento:

“I never try to be friends with my 10th, 11th and 12th men. “You can’t do it. I hope Eric does well. I didn’t mind working with him. We just didn’t have time to keep him around and see what developed. I hope Eric is still playing in the league 10 years from now. I don’t know if I would bet on it. But I hope he has a nice career.”

Hornets center Mike Gminski on the toll playing 36-plus minutes a night was having on him (via the Charlotte Observer):

“I can (play that long) every once in a while but a steady diet of 40-minute nights would have taken its toll on me.”

Hornets guard Kendall Gill on how acquiring Leckner could help them stop a recent losing streak (via the Charlotte Observer):

“You just don’t know how badly I want to win. I’ve never experienced anything like this. I’m glad we’re getting another low-post player [Leckner]. That’s got to help.”

Image via Getty Images/Rocky Widner

#Eric Leckner #Dejan Bodiroga #Alex Holcombe #1991 #1990*91 Season #Hornets #Kings

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feminarrie · 5 years

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national anthem [c.e]

a/n: this is very much unedited, but it’s 3:15am and i cba oops. a very special thanks to @pastelshawns for killing me w chris evans concepts and breathing life into this blurb

smut below the cut! (18+)

when chris meets your parents for the first time, he pulls into the driveway of your childhood home a full hour before the party. your mom is busting herself in the kitchen—bowl of tuna mac cradled in the crook of her arm and a plate of sliced watermelon in her right hand—in anticipation for the rest of your family. judging from the absence of other cars on the black asphalt, you’re the first to arrive. chris had insisted on showing up a little earlier to help out your parents as a way to make a good impression. you spent the entire ride from the airport attempting to convince him that they’d fall in love with him simply because of who he is.

still, he climbs out of the car and quickly makes his way toward the passenger side to open your door for you. you thank him with a soft, reassuring smile and a kiss to his cheek. chris makes quick work of grabbing the fruit tart from the back seat and the pan somehow seems smaller in his large hands. his free hand comes to rest on the middle of your back, exposed in the cobalt blue dress that barely sits at your mid-thigh. his hands are cool against your back and it’s a welcome relief from the humidity that wraps itself around your airways.

“my mom said to go ‘round back to say hi to my dad before we head inside.” you say, leading chris in the direction of your backyard. you separate from chris momentarily to reach your arm over the gate, standing on your tiptoes until you manage to get the stubborn lock to slide open. it all happens in a matter of seconds, but chris feels like he’s stuck in a loop. the image of the swell of your ass peeking out from beneath your dress plays on repeat in his mind even as you push the rusted gate open. the space where your ass meets your thighs is easily his favorite place to nip at until splotches of red and purple taint your pretty skin for the next few days.

you prompt him with a call of his name and it’s enough to pull him from his thoughts. as he rounds the corner of your house and onto the concrete patio, he tries to remind himself that he has to be on his best behavior tonight. he knows it’ll be a challenge, but he really wants your parents to like him—to see him as much more than the actor-guy she’s been dating for the past year. chris thinks he could settle down with you, if he’s honest. a white picket fence, a new friend for dodger, and the pitter-patter tiny feet.

introductions go smooth enough that your father asks chris for help with the pool after he’s met your mother. an affectionate guy already, chris welcomes the hug he receives from her and promises to help bring all of the food out when the party draws closer. you watch as it all happens, wide smile that shows all your teeth and a sweet ache in your heart at the sight of your parents with chris. a pair of ray bans perched on the bridge of his nose as he bounds past you to help your dad with the pool cover.

you busy yourself in the kitchen with your mom as she puts the final touches on everything. there is far too much food for the amount of family you have attending the party, but you don’t question her. you simply finish mixing the ambrosia salad before tossing it in the refrigerator for the time being.

“you seem very happy with him.” she says, setting down two plates of cheese, pepperoni, and crackers on a neatly decorated table. your flushed cheeks feel even warmer as you nod, cheeks nearly splitting with your smile. your eyes trailing over to where chris is laughing along with your dad, hand to his chest as your dad takes a seat on the pool deck. chris seems to have noticed you because he grins in your direction before he’s taking a seat opposite of your father.

“i am. i think i might have to fight dad for his attention today, though.” you say, half-joking. your father is so clearly enamored with chris and you’re hopeful that it has eased some of the tension chris had felt for the few days prior.

judging from the way he’s talking animatedly with your father, you think all his fears have dissipated.

. . .

chris is trying really hard to keep his attention on whatever your uncle is talking about. he thinks that he’s talking about how some family drama that chris doesn’t think he wants to know about, but he’d been roped in to listen nearly twenty minutes ago. meanwhile, you’re crouched down to grab some of the trash that had blown off the table. he can see down the front of your dress and while he knew you weren’t wearing a bra already, the empty valley between your breasts looks all too inviting.

when a gust of wind blows a few stray napkins away before you can grab them, chris uses it as his excuse to escape the conversation. he mutters something to the effect of needing to help you before he’s taking easy and quick strides across the yard. he appears next to you in a matter of seconds, napkins clutched in one hand, and he’s offering them to you with a smile.

“thanks, bub.” you say, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to his lips. chris cups your cheek in his palm, deepening the kiss just slightly. it’s just long enough for you to feel yourself getting lost in the way he captures your lower lip between his and rubs his thumb across the apple of your cheek. he pulls away moments later, lips still centimeters apart. blue irises swirling with a hint of green and a familiar edge that sends a shiver down your spine. you tap at the back of chris’ hand as your faces move further apart. a silent reminder that not here, not now. not even if you want nothing more than to feel the heavy, warm weight of him on your tongue.

chris thinks that if you’re not willing to let him fuck you in your childhood bedroom while everyone else gathers in a disorderly line for food, he can at least satisfy himself with having you nearby. even if that means having you quite literally in his lap after he’s grabbed you a plate of food. you feed him a few pieces of fruit after chris has completely cleared his own plate. his lips linger for just a second longer than they should each time and the fire between your legs is stoked. you attempt to smother the growing heat by talking with your aunt about her new job. despite the way he carries on a conversation with her, asking her all the right questions at the right time, it’s clear that chris knows what he’s doing to you. the hand not holding the corona is keeping your back pressed to his chest, arm wound around you tightly. to anyone else, it’s sweet image of two people very much in love.

sweet enough that nobody pays any mind to the way you wiggle in chris’ lap after your aunt and uncle have excused themselves to go for a dip in the pool. his lips are at your ear and the absolute filth he is whispering into your ear has your cheeks staining red. “gonna let me bend you over my lap later, sweetheart? are you gonna let me mark your ass up since you wanna show it off?”

the quiet whimper that makes its way past your lips is all the confirmation that chris needs to know that he’s got you right where he wants you. needy and he can practically see your resolve crumbling before him. he does little to tease you after that, but a constant hand on you is enough to have the ache between your legs spread. your temperature feels as if it is climbing and you’re itching to move.

you sneak away from chris when your father has pulled him aside to talk. chris slips into the conversation easily and hardly notices when you’re emerging from your house wrapped in a towel. he keeps his eyes trained on your father as you make your way to the pool, too afraid that if he looks at you, he’ll absolutely lose it.

it’s not your intention to rile chris up, either. you’re simply too hot and incapable of sitting still, feelings that the pool washes away the moment you’re slipping into the cool water. you’re submerged up to your collarbone, squinting at the few children and adults around you. it takes little time before the ache subsides in favor of splashing around and laughing when your cousins ask to be thrown into the water.

it’s only when the first warning firework goes off that you get out of the water. a towel wrapped around your shoulders as you make your way toward the patio, a shiver coursing through you at the sudden drop in temperature. you continue shivering as you approach chris, hands wound tightly in the fabric in an effort to keep it closer to you. chris notices immediately, wrapping an arm around you despite you being absolutely soaked and rubbing your arms.

“let’s get you inside and changed, baby. fireworks can wait.” chris utters the words with such warmth and authority, you don’t question him. you simply nod your head and follow him inside as if it’s his home. the cold from the air conditioning has your nipples pebbling beneath your thin bikini top and you truly can’t wait to get out of your bathing suit.

it’s clear that chris is just as impatient, checking over his shoulder before he’s pulling you into the guest bathroom. his lips are on you in an instant and though surprised, you’re kissing him back with an equal amount of fervor. your bottom lip is between his lips, teeth nipping at it as his large hands make their way down your sides, over your hips, and down to knead at your ass. long and slender fingers squeezing and massaging at the flesh there before moving his hands to your hips again. he toys with the tied straps of material that keep your bottoms together and pulls back with a gentle tug of your bottom lip.

“please.” you whisper with a nod of your head. chris unties the strings at your left hip and then your right, a satisfied smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he watches you undo the ties of your top. if falls away from you easily and chris uses a foot to shove both of them to the side.

“oh, sweetheart.” his voice is thick with arousal. a hand comes up to cup your cheek as he tilts his head down some to look at you. “do you know how much of tease you’ve been today, hm?” he raises a brow at you, thumb smoothing over your cheek bones as he searches your face. there is only a thin ring of blue around his pupils.

you shake your head, grabbing at chris’ wrist and guiding his hand down between your legs. you’re already slick with your arousal and it earns a quiet groan from chris. his thumb finds your clit easily and you don’t think you’ll ever get over the way chris knows just how to touch you to have you whining his name without much thought. there is no fear of the possibility of family members coming to knock on the bathroom door, but rather than chris will stop touching you if they do.

“oh, my sweet, greedy girl.” chris says as he pulls his thumb away from your clit. he runs a single digit up your slit, collecting your arousal before bringing it to your lips. as times before this, you accept his middle finger without question and moans softly at the taste of yourself on his finger tips. it’s a sight that has chris’ cock hardening in the tan pants that do little to hide much of anything. “want me to fuck you in this bathroom, sweetheart? fill you up while everyone else is outside?” and the pitiful you noise you release from the back of your throat is all that chris needs to lift you up by your thighs and carry you the short distance to the bathroom counter.

any other time, chris would gladly lower himself to his knees and have you cum on his tongue—over and over again until your eyes were glassy with tears—but, he doesn’t think you’re allotted that much time. it’s clear that you don’t either because you’re grabbing at his pants, undoing his pants and pulling him from his boxers. hard, thick, and pink, you’re positive that chris’ cock is the only one you’d call pretty. a long vein that runs along the underside that you’ve traced with the tip of your tongue on more than one occasion. you have every intention of doing it again tonight, chris sprawled out on a bed much too small for the both of you and swallowing every drop he has to offer.

right now, though, you’re desperate to feel the stretch of him. it’s something that you voice and has chris pulling his boxers to sit just above his knees. he puts a hand over your mouth as a way to quiet you, soft and breathy moans that are muffled by his palm, as he presses into you inch by inch. it’s a dull pain that you welcome as he stretches you.

one arm wraps around his neck while the other drapes over his shoulder, nails finding purchase somewhere along his broad back. it’s not long before chris bottoms out inside you. he quiets his own groan by burying his face in your shoulder as he begins slowly thrusting in and out of you. his bare cock rubbing along your walls so tantalizingly slow and god, you don’t think you’ll ever get tired of the way he feels inside you—as if he’s made for you and only you.

“taking me so good, sweetheart.” chris mutters praises into your shoulder as he fucks you. one hand is braced on the counter as he angles himself just right to hit you in the deepest part of you while his other hand moves to cup your breast. his thumb and forefinger tweaking your nipple until it’s pearling between them. “always so fucking warm and tight for me.” he continues, hips snapping into yours and you have to bite back the obscene noises that want so badly to fall from your lips.

it’s only a matter of minutes before chris is muttering how he’s going to cum. chants of your name as you press kisses from his sternum to just below his ear. you nip softly at the spot just behind it as you whisper your own praises and encouragements into his ear.

“gonna cum for me, chris?” your words come out soft and breathy. “please? want you to cum for me.” and chris can’t really help himself when you sound so breathless and fucked out. so, it’s not long before he’s painting your insides with his cum and mumbling promises of making you cum as many times as you like that night.

#chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans smut #chris evans fluff #chris evans blurb

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gotatext · 5 years

Text

PREFERRED NAME — nora. i think i started going by it in like, 2009?? my full name is eleanor but i hated it n thought it was way too pretentious n i never felt like it fitted me so when i started writing on forums i decided i’d be a nora rather than eleanor and then my school friends called me it and it just kinda stuck, the only person who calls me eleanor is my mum

PRONOUNS — she / her / ethereal being beyond comprehension

AGE — 23 but i tell everyone im 21 because even tho time is literally fake im desperately clinging to that fleeting thing we call youth trying to catch it like smoke in my hands

PINTEREST — i actually have two. this one is my main one where i just cram all my shit n i’ve had it for years and some of its super unorganised. then i also have this one which is one i made for exclusively female characters. it started as mythological figures but now its like, women in literature and the occasional oc as well. variety is the spice of life!

DISCORD — lindsay lohan’s meth#8664

TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — i used to be froseths but now im pvrscphones cos ya gal is a fucking whore for mythology

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — oi oi guvna ere’s me twitta. also here’s my letterboxd n my goodreads if anyone still uses tht

MYER-BRIGGS — enfp / infp border .... the classic profile of a lit student

HP HOUSE — hufflepuff, am fuckin mad.

ZODIAC — libra which is a joke because i am in no way balanced but i guess i AM indecisive and a peacekeeper so?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — i believe it when it says good shits gonna happen in my life and blame it if bad shit happens but i don’t strongly follow it i just find it interesting

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — maybe like 14?? my first rp blog here is literally so embarassing i wrote as clove from the hunger games n my best friend irl wrote cato :/ it was wild

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — like 9 years ago?? 2010 maybs

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — me n my friend ellie made this really cool group the summer before we left for uni which was loosely based on a concept mentioned mayb once in the divergent series, but it gave us loads of freedom to make it our own thing. it was called the fringe n it was like..... this dystopian society where people with different genes were cut off from the rest of society n lived in overrun slum cities where different groups had like, a monopoly over weapons, produce, etc.... my character jack was the leader of this lost-boy-esque tribe called the wolf pack who were hunters n used to run across the rooftops wearing the skins of animals they’d killed and engage in tribal rituals with sacrifices to the gods n shit. sounds lame but everyone there was so invested in their character arcs that it was a shame to see it go. but ! it kind of reached its end point so we blew it up w nukes n they all died. tragic.

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — a fox?? do ppl keep foxes? idk i’ve always just felt a sense of connection w them like when a fox stares at me im like this shit is life i am living and breathing in this bitch.... visceral

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — everbody party tonight by cobra man n summer girl by haim..... not my usual stuff but big summer chillin vibes,.....

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — lord of the flies and also the handmaid’s tale. one of assignments was to write a chapter from another character’s perspective n i chose moira

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — skellig. fuck off with ur asprin ugly bat man i don’t care. also of mice and men. don’t care about the rabbits or curley’s goddamn wife.

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — im not a big binger bc i find it jst makes me depressed if i watch tv all day but im nearly finished stranger things season 3 n i recently finished euphoria (big rec but proceed w caution as quite triggering content)

FAVOURITE QUOTE — cool girl speech from gone girl. but also “there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls” i know its like.... such an overused quote but it really encapsulates this kind of feral girlhood that a few of my characters like bridget n greta have tapped into. i also loved the line “i feel like i could eat the world raw” from song of achilles, that really captures this kind of.... pure n childlike enthusiasm tht i wanna achieve w rory

LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this is my energy completely am always covered in glitter n staring broodily out of the windows of ubers at 4am like im in the sad bit of an indie film

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — uhh.... not as much as i shd.... i want to be a writer so i shd be makin some effort to get my stuff Out Into The World but im just not.... lol. ive done a lot of poetry collections . i wnt to finish a novel @ some point too.

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — bold of you to assume i trust any youtubers

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — id literally die for saoirse ronan n timothee chalamet :/ chance perdomo also owns my ass.

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — i once high-fived dani harmer, the actress who played tracy beaker. today my sister text me tryin to make me guess what celebrity she just saw on holiday in wales and for ages she let me think it was timmothee but it was actually bradley walsh from the chase :/

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — i am in a bomb ass crop top and mini skirt, several scrunchies in my hair, glitter all over my face, wearing cowboy boots. we eat dinner in a trendy but affordable pub that doubles up as a cocktail bar n then we drink zombies or sex on the beaches n go to a rave where everyone is on the same wavelength n i share drugs with girls in the toilets and we swap numbers knowing we will never text each other but its ok bc in that moment we feel like we are soulmates and everyone is super drunk n touching everyone else n its all very visceral and we walk through the woods when the rave ends and lie in the grass because we wish to suck out all the marrow of life

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — princess diana was murdered

ARE ALIENS REAL? — maybe the real aliens are the friends we made along the way

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — love island game im addicted and way too invested in my fictional relationship with bobby, a cartoon

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — bold of u to assume i remember my childhood. but if we’re talking last 10 years angust, thongs n perfect snogging is so so cringe

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — pairs of glasses belonging to other ppl when they break / get new ones even though i can see perfectly well.

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — mythology...... always a craving and a wish i’d read like ancient texts but my school wasn’t good enough to do greek or latin or any of that shit n even tho i could read english translations i cant be bothered. also criminal psychology

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, french and latin

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — ladybird, about time, angus thongs, shrek 2, what we do in the shadows, the history boys, atonement, coraline, the breakfast club, ferris bueller’s day off

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — cecilia lisbon. rue in euphoria. alison brie in glow. adam parrish in the raven cycle. richard papen. olivia cooke’s character in thoroughbreds. allen ginsberg in kill your darlings. lily in sex education. holliday grainger’s character in the film animals --- i too am an aspiring writer who never writes and just gets drunk instead .

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no. cba

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — i go to the movies basically every day bcos i work in a cinema. im also a voracious reader n i occasionally do theatre or costume making

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — where the wild things are (film by spike jonze). animals. beats. the book fen by daisy johnson and a girl is a half formed thing by eimar mcbride. andy warhol’s biography from a to b and back again

WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — phoebe waller-bridge on how i get her life. carey mulligan on how she got to be such a good actress n how i can become her. maybs wes anderson. maybs gillian flynn. i tend to listen to podcasts w the ppl i really wanna pick the brains of.

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — edward :/

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — blinded by the light n i lovd it

DO YOU STILL READ? — when i finished uni i kinda got out of the habit but this week i finished two books so ive set myself the challenge of a book a week.

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — i finished song of achilles yesterday n i also finished call me by your name yesterday. started circe by madeline miller today, im also partway through milkman by anna burns and the plays of annie barker

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 3 i didnt hate it bcos at heart i am self-indulgent and love fashioning some sense of self when i feel lost in a world that is scary and constantly changing

#wshedtask002

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cypher2 · 5 years

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lmao uswnt are suing us soccer again. these are the same idiots that stayed silent when hope was bringing up issues and refused to strike or anything. they deserve to lose at this point. this team are two faced cowards.

I know you’re angry. and I’ve been angry for years. but I’m tired of being angry about this situation. I’m trying to look forward, so let’s talk about this. no, they’re not cowards, but they are finally doing what they should have years ago, even when hope was still on the team. this is what needs to be done. this is the only way us soccer will ever be held accountable for the treatment of its female athletes over its entire existence, to keep pushing them and fighting them in court. hope has argued that for years, and she’s right. and as a lone wolf it contributed to what got her fired. she always pushed. she pushed when they told her not to, she spoke up when they told her to shut up, and she is the most relentless player the federation has ever had to face. and who knows what might have transpired or how things might be different today if any or all of them had taken a stand in defense of hope before, during, or after what happened to her. but here we are now. and regardless of what has happened, this is the right thing to do. and even though hope was the scapegoat and how she was treated will never be right, this issue is much bigger than any one player. ussf is systemically discriminating against their women’s team and has gotten away with it for over 30 years. they need to be restructured and held accountable.

it’s also important to note that hope still has her own lawsuits pending against us soccer and that us soccer has filed to dismiss her federal gender discrimination case from august of last year. it’s still ongoing. the federation will do the same here. that’s how they operate. but for the betterment of this sport and the future of the women’s game, we should hope that both hope’s and the uswnt’s lawsuits are successful.

it’s also important to note that the current uswnt lawsuit draws many of the same exact points hope brought up in hers, that the plaintiff pool seeks to include a class action status group that includes current and former uswnt members totaling more than 50 players, and that it’s likely the uswnt chose to file this federal lawsuit only now bc they received a right to sue letter from the EEOC last month after a 3 year period since the original gender discrimination case was filed in 2016, and of which the EEOC failed to reach an agreement or decision on. the uswnt players did themselves a disservice though bc not only does the class action pool likely include members of the ussf athlete’s council that helped vote in the current us soccer president last year, someone who it was known would make no effort to change anything or further equality between the teams, but the current players also signed a new cba which includes changes to some of the very details they are arguing against in court now, and which also prohibits them from striking to press their case until the current cba expires at the end of 2021. a strike never seemed to be actually on the table though, then or now. hope pushed for it and it never happened. hope pushed for many things that never happened, including a united front exactly like this that would include the entire team. regardless of personal bitterness or feelings, this is the only way to actually bring the change needed. hope was (and is) the dagger, and i’m proud of her for being that and for continuing to fight and help lead these causes. the uswnt now has the chance to be the hammer, and beneath the facade there is no denying this is the right thing to do. hope will not be forgotten in the history of all of this, as much as the federation or media will try, trust me on that. and in the end, 30, 40, 50 years from now the manner by which these changes were fought for and the painstaking hypocritical nature of the timeline won’t be what matters most, it will be that hopefully female athletes will finally stop having to fight so fucking hard for their own existence. and that we won’t have to watch them explain anymore in federal court to a judge or jury of their peers, or to the world, why we, as women, deserve equality. it will just be.

#anonymous #ask #thats what hope fights for #for the betterment of all #regardless of how wrong she was treated #her humility is a lesson for us all

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tiny-circus · 5 years

Text

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? I am confused how someone has stolen my identity and has started making accounts in my name :( so shit.

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? No, mornings aren’t good haha

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? Yeah weed just makes people so unproductive. It would annoy me. If it was a social thing I wouldn’t mind buttttt would rather they didn’t.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? Yeah once the trust is earned or I’ve got to know someone well. Some people are very open and easy to trust

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? Watching the Hobbit

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? Probably Steven lol

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? Leave, block, delete and never talk to again. There’s not much you can do when you’ve been cheated on other than pick yourself back up again and have time alone.

8: Are you close with your dad? Not really.

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? I did not babes

10: What are you listening to? Just got peep show playing in the background :P

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? Tea

12: Do you like hickeys? Hate them. Ew.

13: What time do you go to bed? Usually 11:30 - 12pm

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? No, I don’t tend to stick around when someone continuously does that

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? Who cares? XD

16: Do you always answer your texts? Yeah leaving them unread is so annoying

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? Nah, hate is a strong word and it happened a long time ago. All water under the bridge now.

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? An hour or so ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Yeeeeeah all my friends do

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Probably something old like “my back still hurts”

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? Nah bare alonez right now

.22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? Yeah

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? I’m about the same

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? Not really

25: In the past week, have you cried? I shed a little tear reading Kingdom of Ash but I couldn’t have a full on cry in the middle of the train XD 26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? Red

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? No its so rude when people call someone by their last name. I don’t like it

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? I dunno?

29: Do you have a best friend? No I’m not 5 30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? Wouldn’t be hard but I wouldn’t want to see it

31: Who was your last call from? EE - sorting out stupid identity theft shit

32: Are you mad at anyone? I’m a little annoyed. I have a friend that barely contacts me at all (which is fine, we’re all busy and have our lives) but when they do contact me its to talk about their problems that they don’t ever sort out over and over again. I also don’t think it takes much of their time just to say “hey, what’s up, how’re you?”

33. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yeah I think most people have been a little older

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? I don’t know, 29? 35: How many more days until your birthday? I am not counting, soz babe

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? Probably book a holiday to Greece, haven’t thought that far ahead

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? Yes

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? I guess I’m keeping my feelings about the friend that barely messages me. I think I’ll have the conversation at some point but they get very anxious and upset whenever I voice a concern.

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Not that I can think of

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Probably, some have been so bad XD

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? If you’re both consenting adults and there isn’t some weird power control then I guess its okay

42: Are you available? Available for? ;) 43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? Two people

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? Lip

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? Yeah I think they can. I think if nothing awful happened and it ends okay, you both need some time apart to get used to having that distance between each other and do your own thing. Once you’re both in the same space mentally it can work.

46: Do you regret anything? Not really

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? Thinking about what is on my mind xD

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? I’ve drifted from people, yeah

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? Not a mistake, I liked him at the time but it didn’t work out. Oh well.

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? I got over the person I liked cos he didn’t want anything serious. I’ve been single for a while so, I don’t really want to mess around

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? No

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? Yeah sometimes, mostly just send each other weird memes

53: What was the last thing you ate? Homemade bread

54: Did you get any compliments today? No

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? JAPAN AND SOUTH KOREA :D

56: Do you own anything from other countries? I mean my whole wardrobe is mostly from Japan xD

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? Half and half, but I’ve always got on better with girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life? Good ol’ Billerz

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? I don’t know

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? No I don’t wanna kiss gross people xD

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? I’m not American so Idk what that is

62: Who do you text the most? Faun

63: What was the last movie you saw? The Hobbit

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? The fact that I don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend right now xD

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2010? 1

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? No

67: Do you curse around your parents? Yeah

68: Are you happy with where you live? S'ight, three stops from London so I ain’t complaining : P

69. Picture of yourself? Just check my profile lol

70. Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? I’m 100% monogamous

71. Have you ever been dumped? Yeh

72. What do you most like about making out? It leads to spooning which leads to forking

73. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? Ye.

74. When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? The other, I’ve noticed I’m really bad at initiating anything physical. I get kind of nervous? I’m not really a touchy person haha

75. What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? The face and hair

76. Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? Mum

77. Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? >___>

78. Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? >____>

79. What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? When someone messages me something really sweet, or take the time out of their day just to speak to me. I think a little effort goes a long way

80. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? Honestly depends on how strongly I feel about that person. I don’t want to say no because until I’m in the situation I don’t know

81. Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? Yeah

82. Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? Noooooooo I don’t tell anyone until I’m actually with that person. Idk I just have this paranoia that voicing my feelings to other people will ruin it or something will go wrong. So I just keep it to myself until things progress between me and the person I like

83. Do you miss your last sweetie? My what?

84. Last time you slow danced with someone? Never xD

85. Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? No, how does that work?

86. How can I win your heart? Make an effort, sense of humour, be respectful and kind and sociable

87. What is your astrological sign? Gemini

88. What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Watching peep show and using my massage machine. My back has been in a lot of pain lately. Getting old init xD

89. Do you cook? Yeah gotta to stay alive 8)

90. Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? Yeah they got in contact with me. To be honest most guys end up getting back in touch, its either for a booty call, cos they’re feeling shit and lonely or they have a lot of apologising to do.

91. If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? I don’t wish for it, but if it happens then okay :B

92. Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I’m not really into modern dating to be honest. I did it for a while and its a lot of effort and not much pay off. People stop talking for no reason or they don’t give a reason even though you get along. Then you need to build it back up again with someone else. I prefer to just get to know someone after time

93. What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? Dark hair, baby face, nice fashion style, tattoos

94. Name four things that you wish you had: A long 3 month holiday My own house A cute guy to cuddle ;) Aaaand a million pounds yeah

95. Are you a player? lol no, I’m very direct. Cba with wasting time

96. Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? Yeah

97. Are you a tease? Again, I’m very direct so if I want something I’ll say

98. Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? Yeah

99. Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? Yeash

100. Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? Nah no one is on here lol

101. Hugs or Kisses? Both :'3

102. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Not really

103. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Cute face, dark hair dark eyes ;) 104. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? Everyone should be called babe

105. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? No I wouldn’t even bother speaking to them

106. Do you flirt a lot? Not at all xD 107. Your last kiss? What about it?

108. Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2011? Up until now? Yeah xD

109. Have you kissed anyone in the past month? Yeah 110. If you could kiss anyone who would it be? TOP

111. Do you know who you’ll kiss next? Nope

112. Does someone like you currently? Nah

113. Do you currently have feelings for anyone? Nah

114. Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? Serious, flings are a waste of time for me 115. Ever made out with just a friend? No thats weird

116. Are you happier single or in a relationship? If the relationship is right, i’ll be happy but Im also happy being single

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guileheroine · 6 years

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if you don't think korrasami is good why do you write so much about them?

my feelings on korrasami are basically [lovingthatconcept.gif] like completely literally

man i ship it to heaven but it’s despite the show, not bc of it. i’m viscerally attached to (the potential of) the characters individually & together and I love the fact of its canonicity, but everything in between is more just about where I can run with the blueprint of the canon + how fresh & lovely the idea is

the ka presence in the show is incredibly unsatisfactory and i cba to pretend otherwise. its hard not to feel cheated. what i like about korrasami feels practically incidental (so due credit for canonisation but literally only that) bc it seems like there’s barely any effort in ka or asami and sometimes even korra. (arguably wrt romance that’s kind of a blessing in disguise bc avatar’s track record w explicated romance tells me i wouldn’t dig their intentional ka - why i know the comics are def not for me - but what about the friendship?) what’s there obviously clicks w me but it’s honestly like 500% short. excellent concept but they’re scraps.

point is: being positively invested & being disappointed by the canon here aren’t mutually exclusive or even contradictory. (see masami which i also adore the potential of but within canon is just a device for the love triangle that i try to avoid eye contact with.) it’s v much my feelings re: lok which imo is a show defined by potential totally squandered in incompetent/ignorant (if not ill-meaning) hands. and with ka it’s barely written, let alone good writing. that’s essentially the reason i started writing ka fic in the first place, to plug the gaps & put meat on the skeleton.

a couple things, to be clear:

^ this doesn’t mean ka’s not valid representation (in fact i really resist that notion). there’s more to representation than narrative quality (esp in a show that’s shoddy across the board) - it’s about the space it creates, for ppl to be & play in, in minds & the media landscape at large. it’s v difficult for me to suggest it doesn’t/shouldn’t ‘count’ as rep when veritable hordes of ppl (including myself!) feel represented by it (and i think by definition rep rests in the audience not just the text?) it’s a super unique, gentle happy ending pairing & with characters like these (nonwhite nonwestern f/f couple) imo that peace fantasy is part of the power fantasy.

ofc not everyone has to take to it for it to be valid (and why would they, lgbt ppl aren’t homogenous & so much, mostly chance, goes into what u happen to like). i stand by ka’s legitimacy and right to be as shitty as [pick ur show flaw of choice] (and there’s plenty uncomfortable stuff in the show - this aspect is actually ultimately benign and positive, so… perspective.) yeah it’s poorly executed & i’ll be the first to say so but i don’t think that is a hill to die on. no ones going back to it for the quality of the text

- i’m not looking down on those who find the canon satisfactory at all - naturally as someone who doesn’t feel that way i might find aspects of fandom uninteresting/grating/not relatable (notwithstanding actually problematic shit that’s in any fandom), but it’s not a value judgement. i def dislike the idea that ka fans are just kiss-ass/don’t use critical thinking skills/whatever (hello!) or that it’s a deficient or inferior interpretation & enjoying it = kowtowing/low standards even as it happens to not meet my standards. chemistry/development/characterisation is all more subjective than it appears (esp w inconsistent writing, as i think is attested by how divisive literally every aspect of lok is). everything in a show exists halfway between the product itself & its myriad different consumers, therefore there’s no ‘right’ interpretation. which characters/pairings/elements ensnare u is arbitrary anyway + ur interest then shapes what u see. so while korrasami doesn’t completely do it for me, cool if it does for you

tl;dr: I think korrasami is v poorly executed like most of lok (and still legit) & this is separate from/doesn’t preclude loving it & finding it important

#anyway all the above is why i can’t find a tribe in avatar fandom tbh so if u love ka + not the show......hmu #i understand if negativity puts ppl off but understand that any snark is for the show not for ka in itself & certainly not for yall #kind of just wanted to clear this up bc i sensed some confusion #korrasami #anonymous #ask

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