#its gonna be the longest fic i’ve ever written

[garoujo]

YOU HAVE (1) NEW REQUEST FROM @GOJO SATORU . . .

WANNA PLAY SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN?

➤ seven minutes in heaven series masterlist.

NEW MESSAGE @WARNINGS : f. reader, college!au, frat party / exhibitonism, teasing, kind of academic rivals / enemies to lovers, seven minutes in heaven scenarios that are def longer than seven mins, alcohol mention, dirty talk, creampie, fingering / pussy eating.

(1) ATTACHMENT @WC : est. 5.2k

NEW MESSAGE FROM EMMIE @GAROUJO : hewo this is the first fic from the seven minutes in heaven series, hopefully you guys enjoy ‘n feedback is v much appreciated since this is the longest thing i’ve ever written — pls enjoy ><

cocky, confident, insufferable, aggravating… (unfortunately) handsome, these were a few words that came to mind when you thought about gojo satoru.

he’d been in your class since you’d started here — unfortunately at the desk that was straight infront of yours and you say it’s unfortunate because as it happens, you both have never gotten along.

he was a smart ass and a know it all, and you don’t know what you did in a past life to deserve his teasing but it had gotten to the point where you seemed to be his only means of entertainment, having to hold back a gag at how sickly sweet he is to everyone else.

but every single thing you did, satoru had to do better—beat your tests scores, offer to help teachers before they asked you (suck up), deliberately asking you difficult questions he knows you’re gonna struggle to answer in presentations, just so he can see you trip up a few times.

he’d lean back only to scribble on your notes when he’s done taking his own—after trying and failing to use your hand as a sketch book first, steals some of your snacks or lunch with a wink and a honeyed, irritable comment about how “sweets are good for stimulating the brain.” he was so annoyi—

“hey! you still here with me?” suguru shouts, raising an eyebrow at your spaced out form as he waves his hand over your eyes—snapping you out of your daydream to bring you plummeting back to where you’re stood right now, at your rival’s frat party.

“sorry, spaced out.” you hum in response, trying and failing to pretend that you hadn’t just completely zoned out whilst unfortunately staring at the gojo satoru you’d just been mentally cursing.

the same guy who’d also noticed you staring a while ago and is now shooting you one of his annoyingly, handsome smirks before he’s turning and deliberately throwing an arm over the girl opposite him, the same one who doesn’t hesitate to lean into his chest because not only was he annoying but he was also irritably popular, especially with girls—

—not that you care, you want to roll your eyes, flip him the bird but you know that’s what he wants, so you turn your eyes back to your bestfriend as he takes his place beside you instead before you feel suguru nudge at your shoulder.

but if you were to meet satoru’s gaze once more, you’d see that it had quickly found its way back to you, and there’s a ghost of a frown on his features this time instead of his usual cocky look.

“you feeling okay? don’t look like you’re having a good time.” the dark haired male hums, leaning forward to meet your gaze from where it’s drifted away from him and you know you can’t hide your irritation, he always knew—but as wound up as you were, there was always a drop in your guard around your bestfriend.

“sorry, yeah i’m fine.. just bored i guess—“ you eventually reply, and you hear suguru click his tongue before he’s grinning good-naturedly down at you and pushing himself off of the counter, rounding your figure until he’s standing opposite you.

“yeah, i’m sure bored is how you’re feeling—do you forget i’ve known you forever, i can read your mind at this point.” your bestfriend laughs, shooting you a humoured grin before he’s tilting his head towards the living room and urging you to follow him.

“come on, you’re bored right? atleast make an effort to have some fun.” you can’t help but scoff in amusement at suguru’s playful words but you still find yourself following him, allowing the warm air from the bustling frat party to roll over your shoulders.

you pass between beer pong tables and other drunken students, classmates and people you’ve never even seen before alike, even find yourself passing by satoru and his group of friends—or fans you guess you could call them. but you never take your eyes off of your best friends back, almost certainly feeling a white-haired male’s shameless gaze burn into you until you’re out of view.

you don’t know why you’re struck with a sudden wave of anticipation and nerves as you finally stroll into the living room, almost colliding with suguru when he stops abruptly, his lips pulling into a grin before he’s laughing at the confused look on your face.

you know what this is, a single empty beer bottle in the middle of the floor and classmates dotted around different areas of the room, most already giddily drunk while they’re giggling and gossiping at every victim the bottle chooses before they’re whisked away into what could potentially be your own personal hell.

“trust me, just sit.” suguru grunts, his eyes on you again before he’s dropping onto the couch and pulling you down with him until you’re not very gracefully falling into the cushions, and he’s drawling out a “we’re in” that’s immediately followed by obnoxious whistles and whispers from the other students in the room.

you open your mouth to protest—not that you even know what you’d say—but before you can you’re instantly cut off by another “make that three.” followed by a sudden weight on the other side of the couch when you feel the cushions dip, right next to you.

you know that voice—that honeyed tone and the starry eyed glances and jealous looks that are suddenly being sent your way, not towards you, no—but towards none other than gojo satoru from where he’s sat next to you, deliberately knocking his thigh against yours with how obnoxiously he’s manspreading and leaning back with a knowing grin.

you want to ignore satoru, deciding to choose peace when you cross your arms over your chest and turn your attention back to the bottle in the middle of the room—you want to, but ofcourse he has other plans when you feel him lean towards you, his chest pressing against your side.

“lucky for you, there’s not a way for me to win this one. wouldn’t want to see you cryin’ again…” satoru drawls, feigning disappointment even though his words are still smooth but you can basically hear the grin on his lips, immediately turning to him with nothing short of a scowl before you’re leaning away.

“hey, it’s your turn.“ suguru grunts from his place beside you and you can’t help but roll your eyes, not even at him, but because you can already feel your blood beginning to boil, so you’re hissing out a “spin for me, sugu.” and turning your venomous gaze back to the person who actually deserves it while your bestfriend shrugs and does as you ask.

“i wasn’t crying because you got a higher score, gojo. don’t give yourself so much credit.” you reply sharply, a mocking amount of sweetness in your voice and you’re pretty sure you notice the sides of satoru’s lips twitch in amusement at your reaction before he hums.

“oh? thought you looked so pretty when you cried too.” satoru sighs out—teasing, tilting his head back to look over your face from behind his round glasses and the grin on his lips is almost pleased in a way that has you wanting to scream, like he’s taunting you but unfortunately for you mostly, you’ve never been one for backing down from him.

you tilt your body towards him, muscles tensed and you’re sure there’s a deep, less than flattering frown on your face that immediately shows just how much he gets to you when you bring a finger up to point at the irritatingly pretty male opposite you.

“you know what, gojo! i really—“ you begin, but your sharp sentence is immediately cut off by an obnoxiously loud round of hollers and hoots as you freeze, eyes wide just as you’re about to push your index finger into satoru’s chest and the shit eating grin on his face seems to stretch even wider, his own amusement shining through when he narrows his eyes at you, tipping his head towards the bottle on the floor that’s so obviously pointing straight at him.

“well would you look at that. looks like you can win this. come on, you don’t need to try contain your excitement.” satoru grunts, tilting his head as his large palm suddenly wraps around your wrist and pull you up from the couch along with him.

you want to kick and scream, preferably at him but you’re still in shock—this was your own personal hell, and that’s only confirmed when you turn to get some—any assistance from suguru and he’s only raising his hands and sending you a sympathetic look that says you told me to spin for you.

you feel like the rooms spinning, your skin feels like it’s burning underneath satoru’s palm but his hold is still gentle enough where you could break free if you really wanted, but maybe this would work in your favour—a quiet closet with your academic rival and at this point, probable nemesis where you can really give him a piece of your mind? yep, this was gonna go horribly.

satoru’s laughing as he starts to almost impatiently pull you along, shooting playful looks towards the students that seem to be lining the way towards your dreaded destination. until you’re both standing in front of some dingy frat closet that you’re pretty sure hasn’t seen a vacuum or a mop in months, years even.

“you scared?” the white-haired male teases and it’s his words that immediately snap you out of your haze, the same words that have you huffing before they’re reigniting the blaze in your veins and you’re basically pushing him into this stupid, dark closet with a grumble about how absolutely done with his shit you are.

“7 minutes!” you hear someone call from the other end of the door before silence falls in the darkened closet, it’s bigger than you’d expected but not huge—there’s space for you to stand opposite satoru but not enough, he’s still long, 6’3 in stature and imposing, you almost sway from where you look up at him and he’s taking up so much space that you’re almost sitting on the counter top behind you (that’s probably supposed to be full of cleaning supplies) to keep some distance between you both.

“didn’t know you were so eager to get me in here, sweetheart.” satoru drawls and you’re irritation feels like it returns in waves, pinching between your brows before you take a few deep breathes. but when you catch the smallest glance of his stupidly, handsome grin you can’t help but feel the last thread of your sanity snap.

“would you just shut up, gojo? just be quiet.” you bite, sighing (probably a little dramatically) before you lean back—eyes narrowing at the old lightbulb on the ceiling that’s just barely giving you any light, while satoru raises his hands in faux surrender opposite you and whistles at your sharp comment.

“i hear you.” he replies but the tone of his voice still has you grumbling before you keep the silence between you both for what feels like an eternity, eventually letting your emotions run riot on your tongue once more, and you don’t know if it’s because you feel suddenly nervous, or because you can still see him sway impatiently across from you before he’s whistling obnoxiously.

“you’re so annoying, you know that?” you grumble, almost timidly and it makes you want to smack yourself but instead you choose to scowl at the white haired male, watching him push himself up from the wall opposite you. “did you ask me to be quiet just so you could make fun of me? so rude.” satoru replies, his tone almost playful and you don’t miss the way his eyes sweep over you briefly before you scoff.

“aww, expect me to kiss your ass instead?” you return, an equal amount of mocking sympathy in your tone and the comment actually pulls a more genuine sounding laugh from the man, a sound that has you straightening up in a way that seems foreign around him.

“oh, is that an offer? i don’t tease you because i hate you, you know.” satoru breathes again and you feel yourself shuffle at the suddenly heavy atmosphere in the closet. his tone shifts at the end of his sentence this time, it’s low and his words are languid and it makes you hesitate before you speak again.

“then what the hell is it?” you ask, curiosity thick in your words and you can’t hide the way your frown softens.

“nuh ugh, not so fast. think you can lock me in a closet with a pretty girl and i’ll spill my guts? you gotta earn that.” satoru goads, and you think you deserve another smack when you feel a smile twitch on your lips at his words, but you expertly hide it behind a passive expression on your face.

“think you can lock me in a closet with you and i’ll fall in love when you call me pretty?” you sigh, shooting him a humoured grin before he’s shrugging his shoulders and looking at you over his glasses again.

“why? you tempted, princess?” satoru drawls, he’s clearly checking you out—blatantly, making no effort to hide the way his tongue peeks out to roll along his lower lip before he’s stepping closer with heat in his eyes.

you feel yourself shudder with anticipation with each step he takes and you suddenly feel like you could drown in the crystalline, blue tones of his gaze but you can’t help but feel suddenly self conscious as he drinks you up—not that you’d ever let him know that.

“you wish, gojo.” you squeak, but your tone wavers and you know satoru hears it before he’s humming to acknowledge the sudden shift in your demeanour.

“yeah? that obvious?” he sounds so honest, and it makes your heart flutter and your stomach flip—your throat bobs in a swallow and you wish you could say it was bile, but you know it’s not when your brow arches at his words, like you’re deciding if he’s still teasing you or not, and he knows he has you when you bite on your bottom lip.

“wh.. what?”

but still surprisingly, it’s slow when satoru reaches for you—like he’s giving you the opportunity to stop him before his hand is sliding along your back and hooking around your waist to pull your body against his chest. it’s a strong pull, but not disorientating, yet you still feel your skin burn hot where his long fingers are pressing through the thin fabric of your dress, and it feels like it moulds even closer to the shape of your figure—almost like there’s nothing between his palm and your skin.

you scoff his name, resting your palm against his chest and he gives you a few moments, an opportunity to push him away—to yell at him or cuss him out but you don’t, so he shoots you a softer, tilted grin, before he’s leaning closer and brushing his lips against yours.

“hmm, don’t believe me? i can prove it.” satoru hums, allowing his lips to ghost over yours from where his finger is suddenly hooking under your chin and tilting you towards him, like he’s tempting you with the forbidden fruit but as much as desire is burning in your stomach, he’s still annoying.

“you’re such an asshole, goj—“ you gasp when he finally kisses you, cutting off your sentence before it replaced with a breathless exhale and he takes the opportunity to dip his tongue past your lips, allowing it to glide along your own.

he tastes like spearmint and strawberry soda and it reminds you that he’d mentioned he wasn’t a drinker—which means the way satoru’s holding you, touching you, kissing you—is being done with a completely clear mind and suddenly you feel something ignite in your veins before you’re pulling him closer.

you feel a coiling pleasure that’s been building between the teasing jabs and playful rivalry tighten delightfully, his hand squeezing your waist only making it burn brighter.

you whimper against his lips and the sound drives satoru closer, practically pinning you against the small countertop behind you both until it’s squeezing against the back of your thighs.

“hmm, so cute.” satoru groans and the deep drone of his voice curls down your spine, you can’t pull yourself away from him—not that he’s helping, with the way his strong grip keeps you in your place against his chest, his large palms exploring the topography of your hips, down your waist and up your thighs from where he’s pinning you onto the surface beneath you.

“satoru.. just fuck me.” you plead against his mouth, a honeyed edge to your voice that you hope will sway him—something you’d never thought you’d say while you breathe heavy with him, and satoru feels sticky at the words, his first name, spoken against his lips. he feels his cock twitch and thicken behind his pants and his thumb squeezes into your skin before he’s licking into your mouth; burying soft groans into your skin like they’re secrets and he’s losing himself in the dizzy spin of the room.

“yeah? fuck, gotta be quick then.. don’t think i’ll hold back on you.” he grunts and the kiss breaks wet as he stands, taps on the back of your thighs to help hoist you up onto the counter top before you jump eagerly and he’s slotting himself between them.

your fingers tangle in his hair once more and satoru can’t help but continue kissing you, the hem of your dress slinking up with his wrists, slender digits squeezing at the fat and muscle it reveals as his hands stroke up your thighs, pushing your dress up until you’re legs spread around him and his fingers are trailing closer to where he needs to be most.

it happens so fast when you feel satoru push your panties to the side messily and the first swipe of his finger between your folds is purposeful, but rushed, dragging the rough pad of his finger beneath the hood of your clit as he rolls the sensitive bud and you twitch, grabbing onto the fabric of his shirt before the wet disconnect of his lips from yours has you whimpering softly.

“those sure are some pretty sounds, all for me? aren’t you a sweet thing.“ he hums before he’s deliberately pressing down onto your puffy clit harder, eagerly, like he knows you were gonna snap back at him as he spreads you wider. he keeps up the same pace and pressure until you’re wet enough for him to push two fingers inside, groaning when he’s not met with much resistance.

his fingers are long, long and thick enough for you to hiss at the stretch but you feel something blissful flutter in your tummy when you watch him fall onto his knees between your thighs clumsily. he shifts one over his shoulder as he keeps you spread, ready and accessible for him while he gazes up at you from under long lashes.

“look at you, princess. so pretty for me.” satoru groans, his tone still playful despite the trembling undercurrent and he smirks when he angles his fingers inside of you up with angled purpose, like he wants to map out and memorise what makes you keen, brushing them against the spongy spot inside of you until you’re slapping your palm over your pouty lips in a sorry attempt to muffle how needy you sound.

his warm breath rolls over your slick folds, his crystalline eyes transfixed and shining on where his digits sink into you, until his head lowers and his tongue is curling against your clit before he’s dragging it back up.

it’s languid the way he pumps his fingers in and out of your wet heat, complimenting it with kitten licks like he’s tasting a dessert for the first time except you’re so much sweeter. you’d be embarrassed if the music on the other side of the door wasn’t so loud—the deep bass doing wonders for covering up the lewd squelching sounds accompanied with his slurps and smacks that are currently echoing around the darkened closet.

satoru continues to sink his fingers into you, swirling tantalising circles into your clit with his tongue while his fingers drag more slick out, making a sloppy mess between your thighs as he laps it back up and buries his face into you with a loud swallow—every noise so much messier and lewd while your hands grab and curl in the snowy peaks of his hair and he hums in amused approval.

he licks into your pussy with a hunger that’s so uniquely him and you almost choke on a babbled cry of his name as you tremble, feeling him flatten his tongue against your sensitive bud before he’s sucking it gently between his lips and pulling away with an exaggerated pop that has butterflies pooling in your stomach.

your pussy throbs around his digits and he breathes a warm sigh across your skin, your eyes clenching tight as your thighs quiver against the width of his shoulders and your head drops back as his bright gaze cuts up into you. feeling him drag his tongue in slow, thorough swirls over your clit as your hips rock side to side.

“gonna be the fucking death of me.” satoru tells you, crooking a smile against your folds but it’s a confession mostly to himself as he works you with practiced precision, watches your hips twist under his touch before his body leaves you suddenly and he pulls away to break through the suddenly suffocating layers of his clothes.

“what happened to that smart mouth i like so much? don’t worry, sweet girl. ill make sure the only thought in that pretty little head is me.”

a ragged sound that’s supposed to be an insult leaves you at his words and suddenly you feel drowsy and pliant as he quickly reveals the soft planes of ivory skin, shoving his slacks down just enough for his cock to spring out and smear precum along the skin of your thighs.

he is gorgeous, moonlight hair messy where it falls over his face, his hand sweeping it back before he’s stepping forward and shooting you a tilted grin, that’s still a little cocky and you suddenly feel like you can’t get enough air with each breath.

“wish i could’ve stretched you more, pretty. but we’re running low on time here.” satoru sighs with a growing smile, hissing when he feels your fingers wrap around the base of his cock like a wordless reply—a plea, almost begging for him to finally fuck you and who is he to deny you of that.

“hurry up—i need you, satoru.” you manage and you feel him grab you in a strong grip before he’s wrapping your thighs around his hips, but any other words are choked upon when the fat head of his cock finally finds your flexing cunt.

you gasp and satoru groans as he sinks carefully up inside you, his hands squeezing and pulling your hips closer to his as your back arches. his cock feels like it sinks into you forever, he was long and thick, curved upwards and warm and it glides so sweetly past the spots inside of you that make your whole body twitch, your pussy tightening harder around him the deeper he goes.

his fingers grope just a little too hard at your hip, dragging you along his cock as he forces your walls to spread open for him and he feels something ache deep in his stomach, desire heavy in each laboured breath he takes as he tries to keep a firm grip on his composure.

“so tight, princess… you’re already doing so good for me.” he groans, voice low and you can only reply with a sound that’s high pitched and needy when the weight of his hips finally rest against yours and he bottoms out.

it almost hurts how deep satoru reaches, but he’s warm and it lights a fuse that fizzles into something that feels even better, and he feels his toes and fingers curl when you bear down on him eagerly.

he finally pulls his hips back, dragging his cock out of you and your pussy squeezes down tight on him in response, like it’s trying to lure him back inside, tightening around each inch you lose as his fingers dig bruises into your hips and he rolls them back into you, beginning a steady pace with another slow withdrawal.

a whimper leaves you when you feel satoru’s head dip towards yours, his body leaning over you to smear a few kisses along your jawline, working your hips to meet the encouraging pull of his huge hands from where they’re messaging your hips.

the pace he’s sent isn’t fast, but the force behind each thrust is—his huge stature making your body clap against his as he kisses over your skin, teeth nipping at your neck playfully before his lips are gliding along the sensitive spots that have you twitching.

“sensitive, aren’t you? and feel so fucking good. you’ve been keeping this pussy from me for so, long, sweetheart.” satoru goads, emphasising his words with a few sharp thrusts, before his pace inevitably speeds up when he hears you grumble under your breath and he groans again, gripping so tight into your skin that he’ll surely leave bruises.

“s-satoru, you asshole—“ you finally manage to respond, whispery and choked off, but you can’t deny the physical reaction you have to his words, your tight cunt baring down tight around him and you both gasp before his breaks off into a laugh, his pace stuttering as he curses roughly, follows it with a few teasing thrusts.

“huh? what was that? harder? aren’t you greedy?”

and he gives more to you. has given more to you than he has to anyone else, and you bask in it and give back all that you can as he buries his nose into the crook of your neck. he inhales the sweet familiar scent of your perfume that’s now mixed with his cologne and he feels something carnal boil in his stomach.

satoru repositions his feet and takes up a pace that’s a little faster, rougher, pounding into you mercilessly as he marks your skin as his—leaving blooming marks between soft kisses along your neck and jawline and a groan kicks out of his chest when the harsh slap of his hips makes your thighs tighten around him, and you feel your own hips tremble along with your lungs.

“fuck—sound so pretty f’ me, wanna keep you all to myself, my pretty girl. now don’t hold out on me, y-yeah?” satoru tells you, his praise dripping through your rocking body and down your spine and it feels like he ignites something in you. he makes your insides curl and ache as your lips drop open to moan his name and his own ragged breathing cools the spit over your ignited nerves.

your nails dig into satoru’s forearms, pressing as you arch your back against his chest, “g-gonna cum—“ you gasp, lips parting in a pretty o-shape as pleasured tears gather at the corners of your thick lashes, and he pulls away to allow his gaze to jump from your creaming pussy to you, and he feels like the breath is punched from his lungs at how pretty you look lost in the pleasure he’s giving you.

“yeah? let me feel you, princess…need all of you, fuck! give it to me.” he smirks, scratchy and growly, letting his fingers trace along your sweat slicken skin to roll your puffy clit as he continues to pound against the right spot inside of you, lighting sparks through your body and your nerves feel like they’re singing under his touch.

you’re more than eager to give into him after a few more clapping thrusts, arching your back as you whine long and wordless for him. the hot rush of bliss and warmth settling over your skin when you cum, the fluttering press of your pussy throwing you into an orgasm so intense you see white behind your eyes.

“f-fuck—fuck, look at you, pretty girl. that’s it.” satoru grunts, his cock flexing and it doesn’t take him long before he’s giving in to the needy coax of your cunt and spilling thick and hot inside of you. a low whine rumbling low in his throat as his body curls over yours with a sharp groan—pinning you to the cool surface beneath you.

you feel like the moments after stretch on forever, the room now filled with nothing more than you’re ragged pants as you both try to catch breath, his bigger body blanketing yours until you’re groaning and pushing him off gently—but the gesture pulls a chuckle from the tall man over you that’s still a little breathless due to the lack of air in his lungs.

“satoru, you’re heavy!” you huff, lips curling into a smile when you hear him groan and pull back to frown at you, cheeks plumped as he feigns a pout but you can still see the way his smirk is trying to break through.

“hmm, you didn’t mind it a minute ago.” satoru purrs, usual teasing lilt returning to his words before he’s leaning forward to peck you once on the lips with a grin and tucking his softening cock back into his pants.

“you forget we’re still in a closet.” you scoff and you watch his eyes narrow at you before he’s smoothing his large hands down your dress—helping you make yourself look a little more disheveled before his fingers are hooking under your chin for the second time that night.

“you act like that’s gonna stop me, pretty—“ satoru hums but just as he goes to lean in for a kiss you hear a few sharp knocks against the door of the closet, the sudden noise making you jump away from the snowy haired male, making him chuckle before he’s throwing an arm around your waist and pulling you back into him.

“times up, get out.” you hear a gruff voice call and despite the still heavy pound of the bass, you know it’s suguru and you feel your body burn hot when the reality sets in on what you’ve just done—where you’ve just done it, and with who.

but satoru doesn’t look or even seem phased, watching him lean back to sigh before he’s pulling you closer into his side, fingers tightening in your skin like a silent reassurance as his gaze falls back on you.

“aw we gotta leave so soon? try not to look so disappointed.” he goads, but his tone seems lighter when he smiles at you, but you still can’t suppress the playful roll of your eyes because despite the way he’s just given you a taste of heaven, he was still the same irritatingly, (handsome) satoru.

“what do you mean so soon? it ended a while ago so you owe me satoru. get out here and quit hogging the closet!” suguru calls again, clicking his tongue and you feel satoru’s hair tickle the places he’d marked on your skin earlier when he melts into you with a carefree “whoops”, smearing messy, wet kisses against your shoulder before his long limbs are hanging over your body.

“so, you gonna admit you’ve fallen in love with me yet, pretty girl.. or do you need more convincing?”

© 2022 garoujo. please do not copy any of my layouts or writing and translate or repost onto any other sites.

#݁ . ࿓ : sealed #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk imagines #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x you #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo smut #gojo satoru imagines #gojo imagines

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

2, 9, 15 for end of year asks?

okay IM DOING IT !!! ugh I’m so sorry I always answer these so late and so LONG but here I am. let’s do this…

2. favorite fic of the year

oh this is HARD I read such good fic this year it’s not fair. WAIT. are we talking a fic I’ve written or a fic I’ve read? I’m doing both to be safe. for both fandoms TWICE! here we go…

gravity falls

written? midnight’s call, of course, as well as the beginnings of its sequel. it’s just so detectable and whumpish and ‘ford wants/should be the main character here but honestly he isnt’ energy that it’s not funny. it’s also the longest wip that I’ve completed thus far (though it’s looking to be easily surpassed) AND it was my first wip ever AND one of the first fics I put on ao3 at all! so! it’s pretty special to me!! :))

as for read, god you can’t make me choose. what had me squealing the most…. it’s been a while and yet there are some that immediately come to mind. do I have to pick?? UHHHHH I’ll have to go between Another World, Another Time by jikanet_tanaka and Interproximal Gradations by callipraxia, which is the third part of the For Want Of A Jailbreak series (sorry, I really couldn’t choose mshdhsh) they both have similar vibes yet such different plots that I can’t help but group them in my head sometimes but they are ALSO some of the most high-quality heartbreaking emotionally investing fiction I’ve ingested on this mortal coil. like BRO. it’s been like six months since I’ve read both and I can still remember certain scenes and the plot and other things I loved so CLEARLY. for example: in another world, they hit ford over the head a LOT. like I can remember three individual times lmao, and two of them were by the same person! the first was entering the strange dimension in the beginning to jumpstart the plot, the second was overexertion/being wacked by a blinded ex-jheselbraum disciple after escaping an attempted to be built PORTAL ROOM in a high tech bill-esque fortress, and the third was during an unsuccessful raid for parts for a resistance the people of the dimension he and the pines have ended up by the same ex-disciple. does that make sense? possibly not! but don’t you want to read to find out? ;) /lh

good omens

written? it would’ve been do you remember hanging up the stars had it been completed by now (which is Impossible lmao) so I’m gonna have to with an angel who goes along with heaven, because 1) it’s my favorite era *medieval/wessex 537* 2) it’s heavy crowley whump 3) I wrote it over two months ago and I can still read it without wanting to die. like I see the flaws, but they are easily overlooked because CROWLEY WHUMP!!!!! I WROTE THAT!!! it’s the ultimate ‘writing what I want to read’ assortment. augh

read? well I haven’t actually gotten to the life-changing longfic on par with the gf fic. I have them marked for later, definitely, but I haven’t read anything past 30k in this fandom yet so I suspect there’s more earth shattering shit out there. atm, though, Ithink I’m going with The Ark by rfsmiley. holy fuck, where do I begin. I have a love/hate relationship with dystopia—love because we get to think about the inevitability of failure, death, and humanity degraded down to pure survival and the things that make us human are a luxury, and hate because we have to think about the inevitability of failure, death, and humanity degraded down to pure survival and the things that make us human are a luxury. it’s just so bleak yet colorful at the same time. media like tlou is triple s tier. so reading a fic like that… safe to say it broke me. they made it to the stars!!!! they cherish every orange slice! every book! they still love each other!! they knew this was gonna happen and they stuck around!!! UGH!!!!! AND THE FACT THE THING’S CALLED THE FUCKINGGGGG ARK. THE ARK. IRONY. IRONY. JAIL FOR AUTHOR RFSMILEY! JAIL FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!

9. favorite creator of the year

okay back to something more soft. first off; I can’t pick. firstly bc idk if it means a fan artist or writer or professional people like filmmakers and show runners. secondly bc there are so many ! how could I pick! also I’d feel back for picking one person over another thats just my brain is wired, and for that I apologize. so moving on ! ty for asking though <3

15. favorite headcanon of the year

god how do you PICK that!!!! thinking…….. AGAIN, it’s between ‘ford is autistic’ and (i’m sorry if this small and silly) ‘aziraphale and crowley like holding hands’ (though that’s fucking canon, but I’m headcanoning it). just. they’re both so important to me. ford is me and aziraphale and crowley love each other. ugh. UGH. thanks for the ask dude, and I’m gonna go jump into a hole now ✨

#ask game #hath are perceived #more proof that I love talking about fic more than anything

[kpoppwriter]

Oneirataxia - preview

oneirataxia - (n) the inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality

❧ Genre: thriller (Seonghwa x fem!reader)

❧ Words: TBD

❧ Warnings: n/a (for preview)

❧ Tag List: @zaereum​

❧ Synopsis: You and your boyfriend Seonghwa are taken to a camp that’s very abnormal. Can you find a way to escape before you lose yourself completely?

❧ A/N: guys...this is gonna be a long fic. currently its the longest singular fic I’ve ever written and I’m not even halfway done. I’m too excited about it and just had to share a little peek of it before its finished (if anyone wants more peeks, I’ll share some more of it)

~※ Main Masterlist ※~ 

You don’t know how you got here. You weren’t sure what strange set of circumstances brought you to this point; to this place. You didn’t really know what this place was but you knew it was a camp -- the cabin you were currently resting in looked like one straight out of a movie. The bunk beds creaked with every little movement you made. They must’ve been here for a long time. There were a couple of girls in the room with you each of them sitting on their assigned bed. They looked just as confused as you. A loud knock rang out throughout your cabin startling you. A voice coaxed you all out of the cabin. You didn’t want to leave the safety of this room but you didn’t know what would happen if you rebelled. You walked out of the cabin.

It was beautiful. Almost too beautiful. There were multiple little cabins placed in a circle around a large fire pit. People filed out of the small cabins and moved towards the fire pit. Everyone looked so confused. There were more than just girls here; there were a good amount of guys too. You quickly noticed that one half of the cabins were for the guys and the other half were for the girls. You scanned over the crowd just trying to figure out what was going on when you caught eyes with a guy in the crowd.

“Seonghwa."

#kpop #kpop blog #kpop writing blog #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #ateez headcanons #ateez fanfic #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez x you #ateez x reader #ateez seonghwa #park seonghwa #seonghwa x you #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa angst #seonghwa fanfic

[emeraldbabygirl]

Untitled pt.2

Genre: smut, and super super fluffness overload uwu

Warnings/kinks: it’s a lil sad in the beginning but it’s okay! It gets better! mentions of body and self esteem issues, chubby reader, virgin reader, female reader, experienced kyubin 👉👈 It’s like a full on walk through of the entire sexual experience so a lot of kissing, UNPROTECTED HAND HOLDING, like kind of breast worship? a little bit, light nipple play, lil love bites uwu, A Guide to the Handjob: For Beginners, some light finger blasting, that one cunny licking word that ion how to spell but I wanted it to sound nicer than “pussy eating” PROTECC THE PEEN DURING THE SIDEWAYS DOLPHIN, so many pet names (I went overboard because I am a slut) ITS REALLY SWEET AND CUTE SEX NOT ROUGH AND A LOT OF CUTE TOUCHING AND THINGS

Length: it’s the longest fic I’ve ever written so if you don’t like long texts don’t read because I have no idea how many words she’ll have when I’m done. It’s probably over 4000 I’m gonna throw that number out there.

AN: I JUST WANT TO THANK THE LOVELY @enhyp3nen FOR SUGGESTING A PART 2 IM GONNA BE SCREAMING THE ENTIRE TIME I WRITE THIS OMG I CANNOT SKSKSKSKK SKRRT! So yes thank you for this suggestion and I hope you like this part just as much as the first! Btw we need more Kyubin specific writings of any and every kind HE IS THE SUN UGH. I’m love him and he just..ok let’s get on with it uwu! P.S since this is literally my life’s work I would really love if I got feedback on it. I do think it’s one of my best fics but I know it’s not totally perfect so I’ve anyone wants to say something nice about it please don’t say it’s horrible I will cry this took me like...idk months. But no pressure if you don’t want to say anything. Like if you just like it that’s cool too  👉👈

It was exactly eight at night when you came into the living room. Just as you had hoped, there was your wonderful boyfriend Kyubin sitting on the couch watching tv.

Tonight you were finally going to initiate sex for the very first time in your relationship. After what happened in the shower that one time you worked your very hardest to feel better about yourself and put more trust in Kyubin. He had given you the whole ‘love yourself’ talk so many times you finally listened to his advice and put his words and that talk to good use. You stepped up and stepped out of your comfort zone a few times which surprised your boyfriend but the way he got excited and happy to see you become more confident in yourself and the way he praised you even more made you truly want to take the next step. He never stopped telling you he was going to support you through all the things you did.

You took a deep breath and approached him. You still weren’t confident enough to entice him with any special lingerie but since this was such a big step for you you didn’t think it mattered. You spent hours before now in the bathroom, showering, making sure your legs were shaved and smooth, shaving other parts of you body; you didn’t want to look like a gorilla. You sprayed on just a little bit of perfume to hopefully mask the nervous sweat before changing into clean clothes. One of Kyubin’s t-shirts and a pair of shorts that you mostly wore around when Kyubin was not home. Super soft pink shorts with a ribbon tied in the front. You didn’t want to overdo yourself but you wanted to look good for him to the best of your ability. Your hair was still a bit wet as you tucked it behind your ear. You opted to keeping it lose instead of the go-to ponytail it was always in. Like you said, you wanted to look good but in a comfortable way.

“Kyubin,” you called out trying your very best to sound clear and confident. You wanted to be able to communicate well with your boyfriend especially now. There was no backing down from this tonight. You had worked so hard to get to where you are now and nothing was going to get in your way. Kyubin turned to you and as he did you started blushing like crazy. His eyes were widening slightly at the sight. A comforting smile spread across his beautiful face, the kind that always gave your tummy butterflies. Your heartbeat was speeding up and your mind was starting to get mushy with every and any thought going through your head.

“Hey baby,” Kyubin repositioned himself on the couch and held his hand out for you. You gave a small smile and joined him on the couch. “Look at you baby. Oh, are you out of clean clothes? I can do some laundry?” Kyubin questioned. His hand went up to cup your now beat red face. His thumb very slowly caressed your cheek. “Kyubin,” you began. You were suddenly extremely nervous. Why did Kyubin think you were out of clean clothes? Did he think you were dressed like a slob? He wouldn’t really think that would he, it was just a question. I mean he’s never seen you in anything other than pants. Mostly sweats. Despite all the cute skirts and dresses you had in your closet you never wore them. Negative thoughts started to gather in your head but you pushed them back. ‘One step at a time’ you thought to yourself.

“I wanted to wear shorts. I usually only wear them when you aren’t home..but tonight I wanted to..” you stopped your sentence. Kyubin shifted so his body was facing you, his right arm around the back of the couch and his left hand slowly resting on your thigh. Not on the skin but just on top of your shirt. It was awfully long anyway. Kyubin’s hand was warm on your thigh, when you looked down his large hand looked very small against your thighs that were, well, big. His thumb moved slowly along the cotton material of the shirt.

When you looked up at Kyubin again there was a loving and comforting look across his entire face, his eyes were locked on yours, a small very slight twinkle that only comes out when he looks at you. It made you smile a little wider. “You look very cute my love.” Every time Kyubin called you a sweet nickname like this you felt your heart burst out of your chest and you fought every urge to kiss him. You’ve never even made out with your boyfriend until you were in the shower with him. It drove you crazy that you couldn’t just be intimate with him whenever. You unconsciously looked down beginning to wring your hands. You did this when you started to get nervous or if you were about to cry. What a shame it was that you happened to be doing both right now. This wasn’t the way you wanted it to go. You wanted to be confident in asking him and now you just seemed pathetic.

“Hey,” Kyubin lightly grabbed your chin and lifted it up so your eyes met his. “You look cute. It’s very big of you to wear something like shorts with me in the house. Especially since you’re always in sweatpants all the time.” Kyubin chuckles causing you to laugh a little. “I know I say this all the time but you are absolutely stunning. You are my beautiful girlfriend no matter what and I will continue to tell you until you believe it yourself.” Kyubin spoke softly but clearly making sure you heard his every word. He wiped your tears away with his thumb.

This was it. You should speak up now while you and Kyubin are having this talk. Remember, one step at a time? You can do this. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly you opened your mouth. “Kyubin, I dressed up for you. Well, kind of. Tonight..” you paused. Could you do this? Were you really ready like you thought you were? You reached up and grabbed Kyubin’s hand that was cupping your cheek and lowered it into your lap. You held his hand with both your hands, running your thumb over the back of his hand. You made eye contact with Kyubin, you did all you could to keep the tears at bay, the nerves shooting through your body like electricity.

Kyubin’s other hand was lightly patting your head. He said nothing but waited so patiently for you to continue. “Kyubin,” you repeat his name once again. “I want to have sex tonight.” You did it. You finally said it. Your face was so hot and you were starting to nervous sweat but you did it. You were expecting Kyubin to be happy at your confession but he looked sad and a little confused. You looked into his eyes for any confirmation that he heard anything you just said. What if he changed his mind and didn’t want to have sex with you? What if-

“Are you sure you are ready?” Kyubin interrupted your thoughts. He placed the hand that wasn’t been held by you over yours and you let him hold your hands in his. “I haven’t pressured you too much have I? Are you feeling bad because we haven’t gotten intimate?” You shook your head. “No it’s not that. Kyubin..I’ve been working on myself these past couple months and..and I want to show you that I’m ready to be intimate with you. Kyubin, I want to have sex and make love to you. I want to feel good and make you feel good and just have fun with you sexually. I’m ready.” Your voice wavered because of nerves but you did your best to sound confident. Kyubin sat there for a moment. He was thinking, you could tell because his eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes were locked on something spacing out. He did that when he was thinking, you thought it was sexy to be really honest. Then he unexpectedly pulled you into a hug. His big arms held you and you smiled but started to tear up. Were you still nervous or were you happy and relieved? Maybe you were scared of what was to come.

When he pulled away he held your face with both his hands and brought his lips to yours for a quick kiss. “I’m so fucking proud of you my love. So so proud.” You smiled leaning into Kyubin’s hand. Kyubin rose to his feet and held his hand out once again to help you up. You got this sudden surge of excitement that you couldn’t help but let out a giggle. You loved that he was actually happy about your confession and that he was so proud of you. Your hard work really did pay off. He grabbed your hand as you walked slowly to your bedroom. Whenever you glanced at him he looked at you with that huge and wholesome smile. He couldn’t stop smiling.

When you got to the bed he sat you down right in the middle gently. It was the next step. The two of you in each other’s presence just a couple articles of clothing away from molding your bodies together in sweet sweet bliss. Just the thought of it alone had your head spinning. And then you had a negative thought. You would be completely naked and exposed in front of him. This time it wasn’t in the shower and you were actually going to go further than kissing. What if he changed his mind in the middle of it? What if he pulled another stunt like he did in the shower. Memories flooded back into your mind of how he turned into some type of lust craving animal and it terrified you, the way his lips attacked your wet skin and his hands had a mind of their own. You started to cry. This was definitely not how you wanted things to go at all.

“Y/n, my love. Look at me.” Kyubin tucked your hair behind your ear waiting for your eyes to meet with his. He gave a small smile. “It’s okay to be nervous. It’s okay to feel a little uneasy. It’s okay that you are scared. Everything will be alright I promise you that. I will take care of you alright? You have my word.” You broke a smile. Kyubin really was the best and most wonderful man in your entire life. The sweetest boyfriend. 

“Communication is super important from here on out okay. You have the wheel, let me know how everything is along the way alright? You are in charge okay? Just promise me one thing,” Kyubin gently held the back of your head and brought his forehead to yours. You could smell his scent and it helped calm you down. “If at any time you get uncomfortable you tell me. If at any time no matter how far along we are, you want to stop you tell me and I will stop. If you need a break you tell me, if you need anything at all you open that pretty mouth of yours and tell me nice and clear with your words you understand me?” 

You nodded. This dominant side of Kyubin was so hot and you could honestly say it was a huge turn on. Knowing that he would take care of you in the bedroom was something that you never dreamed would happen. It made your heart go crazy. “Communication y/n, use your words. I need to hear that you understand.” Your breathing became heavy your eyelids were closing. You felt a warm sensation through your entire body. Was this you being turned on? “Y-Yes. I understand Kyubin. I will Kyuuu~” You couldn’t focus on anything anymore your brain was turning into mush and so were your words.

You opened you eyes and were met with Kyubin’s, the sparkle that he always had while looking at you even brighter. “I’m gonna love you so much tonight, make you feel amazing, help you explore that beautiful body of yours. I’ll take care of you my love.” He said cupping your face gently. You wanted to dive right in a start kissing him on his pretty lips but you had a pit at the bottom of your stomach. Something was bothering you and you needed to talk to Kyubin about it. You didn’t know if you felt guilty or angry or scared but you had to say something now before things got too far.

“Um, Kyubin. C-can we talk. About what happened in the shower?” Your voice wasn’t very convincing, it sounded weak and scared but Kyubin understood all the thoughts and emotions going through you and he knew that you were trying your best tonight. He nodded resting his hand gently on your thigh. You let out a deep breath before you continued. “What happened Kyu?” It took a moment for him to answer, he was probably gathering his thoughts. He was surprised that you brought it up in fact. Kyubin figured you pushed it behind you but it looks like it was still bothering you. 

Kyubin sighed. “I don’t know.” His voice sounded confused and unsure. He wouldn’t look at you. For a moment you wondered if he himself attempted to push the situation to the back of his mind like you did. Did it even bother him? And why was he not looking at you when he had all night? “I don’t know..” he said again. His head was down and he removed his hands from your thigh and began messing with his fingers like what you do when you get fidgety or anxious. Like you did earlier before you cried. You didn’t know what was going on and so you placed your hand on his arm and that’s when your sweet boyfriend Kyubin looked up at you with teary eyes. Your heart sank a bit seeing him like this. 

You wondered if he was capable of having a panic attack. Was he having one right now? What was going on in that brain of his. His eyes shifted around the room his bottom lip quivering. He shook his head before finally meeting your eyes.

“I don’t know. I don’t know I- something just came over me like I was turning into some animal and and I couldn’t stop myself. It was like I was in a trance.” Kyubin’s hands were shaking and you quickly grabbed them and ran circles over the back of his hands with your thumbs. Clear tears fell down Kyubin’s cheeks every time he blinked. His eyes kept looking down and around the room. “I don’t know what came over me. I don’t know if I was in the moment and just wanted to have you because I was feeling impatient. I don’t know if I was frustrated with you for not trusting me and I just wanted to force you to get intimate..” 

You placed one of your hands against Kyubin’s cheek so his head would stay in one place. You didn’t say anything because you knew Kyubin wasn’t done talking so you just listened trying your best not to choke up over his words and stay calm for him. This was something you’d never seen from Kyubin. He was showing a very shy and vulnerable side of him and you needed to be there for him in this moment. 

“When I saw the horrified look in your eyes and you pushed me away I couldn’t deal with myself I don’t know why I did what I did. I don’t know why I hurt you and took advantage of you like that when I knew that you were not ready for anything like that. I knew you were hurting and I’m so so sorry that I just turned into a monster that night. I wanted to hold you immediately and explain everything and apologize and I wanted you to be ok but I wanted to give you space. I felt horrible and I still do. I’m sorry darling I really am.” You scooted a bit closer to wrap your arms around Kyubin. He was warm and smelled nice and he found it comforting to be held in your arms for once. “Kyubin, I trust you more than anyone in my life. When you did that I was worried that you got tired of waiting for me and you felt like you had to rush it. It was scary Kyubin. You won’t lose control like that tonight. Will you?” You whispered choking up.

Kyubin quickly pulled away from you holding your face in his hands. “No. No absolutely not, I will never pull anything like that ever again my love I promise you I never will. No tonight I will take care of you and it will be much different from what happened then I promise. I never want to hurt you like that again.” Kyubin slightly rubbed his nose against yours both of you now in tears from the talk. You were now confident and even more trusting of Kyubin. You slowly pressed your lips into his. It was sudden but Kyubin slowly relaxed his body one of his hands staying on your cheek the other gently twirling some of your hair around his finger before placing that hand on your upper arm. His lips were so soft and warm on yours. It felt good and calming and you were very much enjoying this kiss. 

Kyubin slowly pulled away and looked into your eyes before kissing you again. A little longer this time. You let your hand roam up his chest where they found home in his beautiful hair. You didn’t pull on his hair but you did run your hand through it feeling his soft locks in between your fingertips. The kiss was so sweet and he was so gentle. Pulling away slowly blushing just to go back in and taste your lips over and over. Kyubin loved the way you small lips molded into his. He kept the kiss at a gentle and slow pace just enjoying this new moment for both of you. He was finally kissing his pretty girl like this for the first time. It made his heart swell up. When he pulled away again he looked at you. Your bottom lip curling in to become trapped between your teeth. The pink on your cheeks making you look even more adorable. 

Your eyes looked up at him. Kyubin’s heart was pounding so loud he was sure you could hear it. Without another thought you kissed Kyubin a little more intensely. Your hands were now placed on his chest, your fingers curling to grip his shirt. Kyubin was taken aback when you slowly pushed your tongue into his mouth. Parting his lips as your soft tongue touched his. Kyubin was in another world. He could’ve gotten drunk off of this kiss. He tested the waters, pushing your tongue back with his it was his turn to enter your mouth. Kyubin could’ve sworn he heard a faint moan as his tongue moved around your soft and small mouth. Both your eyes were shut so tight just enjoying the moment and each other. This continued, letting each other explore one another’s mouths with their tongues feeling how soft y/n’s mouth was and the way her tongue tickled when it entered Kyubin’s. You finally both pulled away a trail of saliva connecting her tongue to yours. Kyubin wanted to go back in but he held back. His love was a bit out of breath and he wanted her to let him know how she felt before he went any further. She was so so pretty like this Kyubin really couldn’t help imagining what she might look like all fucked out just for him. Her soft tongue hanging out slightly, the rise and fall of her chest, the sparkly haze in her eyes and of course the color of pink or maybe red on her face from it all. Kyubin pushed that thought to the back of his mind. “How was it? How are you feeling right now?” He asked softly. He had to catch his breath as well. Kyubin had never been so excited over a kiss before. He could honestly say it took his breath away.

“It was perfect.” you said in a low whisper. You were so nervous to look into Kyubin’s eyes as your face was so warm from all this blushing. “I- I like the way you kiss. I like your lips, a lot.” you tucked a fallen strand of hair behind your ear before looking up at Kyubin. He was smiling so wide and his cheeks almost matched with the same shade of pink as yours. “I’m glad. I like your lips too. Nice and soft.” Kyubin leaned into you again giving you a quick kiss on the nose before going back to your lips. It was another slow kiss, you could feel butterflies in your stomach you were so excited to be kissing him. It felt unreal for you. You were in heaven right now and it was only from his lips. You felt both of Kyubin’s hands gently hold your sides and you jumped a bit breaking the kiss. You looked down and back up at Kyubin.

“I’m sorry. Is it okay if I touch you? Did that make you uncomfortable? Kyubin asked worry in his voice. He looked into your eyes watching for a reaction. You gave a small smile. “It’s okay, I’m alright.” Kyubin nodded and placed his hands back on your side holding you. You found yourself moving your hands up to cup his face, gently rubbing your thumbs against his soft skin. His hands felt so warm and comforting on your hips. You both pulled away only for a second before Kyubin shifted a little closer to you. One hand held the back of your neck and his other hand rested against the small of your back. As his arm snaked around behind you and his fingers touched the skin on the back of your neck a shiver went up your spine. It was a new feeling for you. You felt very warm and giddy.

You two continued to kiss slowly, allowing Kyubin to place his hands on different places on your body like your thighs and arms. He kept coming back to place his hands on your hips though and it made you smile against his lips. Kyubin pulled away once again now placing both his hands on your arms slowly rubbing up and down your skin. You were getting used to his touch and were ready to move on. “Is it okay if I take your shirt off?” he asked. ‘uh oh,’ you thought. ‘were you gonna back out now? after you made it so far already?’ Kyubin sensed your hesitation as your arms immediately hugged your stomach. You slowly nodded your head. “Yes, you can.” you said moving your hands away from you raising them up above your head. You were blushing more and more as this was continuing. You had so many feelings in you and it was hard to contain them all.

 Kyubin took the bottom of your shirt and very slowly took it off of you and set it on the bed. Kyubin’s entire expression changed upon seeing you, his eyes lit up and he smiled for the umpteenth time that night. Kyubin was like a smiling vending machine. It made you smile despite the nerves. It was natural for you to cover yourself and so when your hand went to cover your bra and stomach Kyubin was patient with you.

“Look at me y/n.” he said in that sexy dominant yet gentle tone. His hands grasped yours slowly moving them from your body. He held them in is on your thighs. “This is big step for you isn’t it? There’s no need to cover up okay? Look at you, you are absolutely gorgeous.” Kyubin eyed you taking in your light pink bra and the little bit of fat that sat around your waist. Kyubin wanted to squeeze you so bad. “You’re so cute babe.”

“B-but I’m fat..please don’t say such things Kyubin.” you wanted to cry more but you were so tired of crying. Kyubin smiled at you letting go of your hands and placed them on your stomach and then moving them to your hips again. You inhaled sharp, your eyelashes fluttered as Kyubin suddenly leaned down to press his lips to your stomach. His lips felt nice on your stomach, he was slow just like he had been so far. Each kiss causing your heart to skip a beat. You didn’t say anything as you just let Kyubin kiss you. He moved up to your shoulders leaving a trail of light pecks up and along your collarbone. You tilted your head to the side so he could get your neck which caused a shiver to shoot up your spine.

“You’re perfect you know that? Absolutely perfect.” Kyubin hugged you close as he kept kissing your neck. You almost felt lightheaded or dizzy because his lips felt so good on your skin. “Kyubin,” you spoke up pulling yourself back a bit. He stopped and looked up at you. “What’s wrong? Do you want to stop?” you shook your head and let out a big breath. “It’s just a lot of feelings and things. You know? Your lips feel so good and I feel them all over me and I get a little dizzy or something. A-and my stomach turns, l-like butterflies and and..” you trailed off.

“Do you want to take a break? Do you need some water?” He questioned grabbing your hands again, intertwining his fingers with yours. You shook your head. “Can I take your shirt off?” you asked Kyubin. When he nodded you squeaked out of excitement. Your hands were shaking trying to fiddle with the buttons on Kyubin’s silk shirt but when you slipped it down his shoulders revealing his chest and toned arms and abs you were in awe. Of course you had seen Kyubin multiple times without a shirt, the man worked out for fucks sake but in this context it felt so much different. Kyubin took his shirt off the rest of the way placing it next to yours as you stared at him.

“Hey, it’s not nice to stare.” he laughed petting your hair. “I’m sorry, your just..well..you’re so pretty Kyu.” You were in a trance as your hands slowly touched Kyubin’s abs, your fingertips on his warm skin moving up to his chest and feeling his biceps and just touching his beautiful skin. You rested one hand on his shoulder leaning towards him raising up a bit, as he was taller than you even while sitting down, and you left light and soft kisses on his neck. You heard a faint moan come out of him which caused you to giggle. “You’re doing so good love. Your lips feel so good.” By now you were starting to feel as though things weren’t progressing fast enough. It had probably been maybe two hours and you still had most of your clothes on. You laughed a bit confusing your boyfriend. “Um..” you began becoming confident enough to reach into the back and start unclipping your bra. Whoever made bras that clip in the back can go to hell cause you were embarrassing yourself trying get the damn thing off. You sighed in defeat. “Stupid bra.” you mumbled. Kyubin let out a light laugh seeing you trying so hard and going nowhere. You started to laugh as well which helped shake more nerves off.

“Do you want me to get it?” You nodded and Kyubin slowly unhooked your bra. He let you hold it up until you were ready to take it off and when you did he acted like an excited puppy. You could barely get the bra on the bed before he quickly pulled you in a tight hug. 

“Kyubin? Are you okay?” you asked. He was so confusing sometimes. “You’re so cute I can’t believe it. Look at you y/n!” his tone was full of excitement, smiling from ear to ear. How many times was he going to smile so wide tonight? You giggled as he pulled away to look at you. “You’re doing so good I’m so proud of you! You’re so so beautiful I love you.” 

Kyubin had never been so excited in his entire life it was like unwrapping the best present ever. Kyubin took your hands in his and kissed the back of them while looking up at you with his beautiful eyes. “You’re so excited Kyubin..do I look okay?” you were happy that Kyubin was in such a good mood but you were still shy about this whole situation.

Kyubin smiled and went in for another kiss. This kiss felt different. His body was touching yours, you could feel his skin on yours, and knowing that you were bare from the waist up made the kiss feel dirty and rebellious. Your hand found home in Kyubin’s soft locks once again as you two enjoyed an extra long kiss your tongues very gently touching and rubbing against each other. You even got Kyubin’s breath to hitch when you playfully bit his bottom lip for the first time. Kyubin couldn’t stop smiling he was totally over the moon right now. The fact that he was so happy, not rushing you and treating you so well and he wasn’t even in your pants yet not only gave you a huge boost of confidence but it made you feel so much more safe and loved by him. You couldn’t ask for anything better than this moment.

He placed more kisses on your neck and shoulders, rubbing your back, petting you hair and stopping to hold you in his arms. The only thing he seemed to forget was answer your question. “Kyubin, you didn’t answer me.” you said firmly. He stopped and looked up at you raising one eyebrow. You rolled your eyes and smiled. “I asked you if I looked ok..you know..here.” you gestured to your chest. Kyubin frowned for the first time in a while. “What do you mean love, of course you look okay, you look perfect. Why?” You started to fiddle with your fingers again. The realization of reality was starting to kick in. You were half naked in front of your boyfriend and you were going to have sex with him tonight. Which meant he would see your entire body and watch and listen as your body did things it’s never done before. What if he didn’t like it. Did he even like your breasts?

As always Kyubin sensed an uneasy feeling and got all serious but still loving. “Y/n my love, what’s going on in this pretty little head of yours? Do you want to stop. Nothing is set in stone, we don’t have to do this tonight you have the wheel here-”

“Do you like my breasts?” you blurted out cutting Kyubin off. You were so tired of crying but you started again tears quickly filling up to your waterline and running fast down your cheeks. Kyubin’s face softened and he sighed. Once again Kyubin grabbed your hands to hold in his rubbing the back of them to help calm you down. “I mean, like, do they look okay? Are they too gross or small or something?” you reached up and lightly slapped them in a disgusted way and Kyubin picked up on that and pulled your hands away. “Y/n stop. Stop thinking so negatively about yourself. It hurts my heart every time you bring up an insecurity and ask me if I’m okay with it. You know that I love you. I tell you everyday and if it doesn’t feel like I do then I need to make sure it is crystal clear that I do. Have I ever said that I didn’t like your body? Have I ever told you that your aren’t good enough?”

You shrugged meeting Kyubin’s eyes with yours. Wiping away some of your own tears you sighed. “No but I can’t help feeling the way I do. I don’t know Kyu, I just feel like I’m not good enough for you. I wish I was sexy you know? I want to be super skinny and have great boobs like other girls and I want men to look at me, and I want to be flirted with and I want to feel good in revealing clothing. Don’t you want that for me?” You lowered your head your eyes just focusing on the bedspread. Kyubin grabbed your chin and raised it up so you were looking at him. His expression told you he was not happy. Why did your stupid feelings have to get in the way and ruin everything? It was going good until it wasn’t.

“I don’t want you to be skinny and look like every other girl I’ve ever dated. I want you to look like you. I want you to have more to yourself then just looks. I don’t want you ever thinking you need to look a certain way to please me or any other man and I sure as hell don’t want you thinking a man will only want you if you are skinny and have the body of every damn super model on the runways today. You’ve watched those shows, you know they go through harsh and unhealthy diets to get that skinny. it’s not fair on your body or mind to push yourself to be at an unhealthy weight.”

“But I’m fat.”

“You are a healthy weight. You are not in danger of any health risks or death, you are perfectly healthy. Yes you have some chub, yes you are not a twig but I don’t care. I don’t care if your boobs are the size they are now or if they are the size of a fucking peanut babe, honestly. You’re hurting yourself with this mindset that you are not enough. You are more than enough. I love you from the inside out. Every single part of your body, every vein, stretch mark, hair, and everything in between. It’s always about how you make me feel that I love about you. You could wake up one day and be purple with yellow polka dots and I would still love you. You have a good heart, a good personality. You are sweet and make me laugh and you are just perfect in every way I can think of.” he cupped the side of your face wiping away more tears as they continued to fall down your face.”I’m sorry Kyu.” you spoke up reaching for his wrist with your hand.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. I know this is really hard for you and I know it’s going to take some time but I promise I am going to be with you every single step of the way. I am your number one fan darling. You should never ever compare yourself with others. You know they could be feeling the same way as you. Just because you aren’t a certain way that you think is the standard does not mean that I will love you any less. I chose you over so many others.” 

Kyubin rubs his nose to yours and places a quick kiss to your lips. “I want nothing more than for you to love your body and be confident and enjoy everything life has to offer. You deserve every bit of happiness and I won’t let anything get in the way of that. I don’t care how many times I will give you this talk, I will continue to do so as long as I live I swear to you. You can’t make me not love you or fall in love with you anymore than I already have. Y/n, you know I’m just head over heels in love with everything about you.” You smile and hug Kyubin.

“Do you still feel like continuing? You seem very tired. Do you want to call it a night?” You violently shook your head. “No, please Kyu, I want this. I want you tonight please..I just need to work this out.”

“I’m with you all the way love.” Kyubin was so sweet you could throw up. What did you do to deserve such a great and wonderfully sweet boyfriend like him? “Shall we continue?” Kyubin asked. You were ready to feel Kyubin’s warm and comforting touch again. It was quiet for a little bit, you two just stared into each others eyes, you loved the way Kyubin’s eyes sparkled so bright. His eyes were so pretty. “Can I touch you here?” he broke the silence gesturing to your chest. Your heart was pounding so hard you thought it might jump to your throat. “Yes, yes Kyubin..please.” your tone of voice and confirmation in the form of asking surprised Kyubin and he wondered if you were starting to get aroused.

Warm hands gently cupped each breast holding them for awhile letting you get used to them being touched and held. You were nervous sweating and it was in fact more embarrassing than having your boyfriend hold your breasts. Kyubin looked up at you for a silent approval. Despite him saying you needed to use your words some things you both understood with just the look in your eyes. Kyubin gently squeezed one breast in his hand causing a light gasp to fall from your lips. His hands were so warm and felt even better on your breasts then when they were on your hips. He took his time playing with your breasts. Squeezing and pushing them together, paying special attention to the pretty noises you made. He made eye contact with you as his fingers pinched and rolled the nipple on you left breast. You gasped again flinching slightly at the new sensation.

“Kyubin, h-how’d you get s-so confident. You know, with yourself?” You asked while he was working your nipple into a point. His fingers were so delicate and and did such a good job of applying just the right amount of pressure. “I just kinda trained myself I guess. Tried my very best to work on myself and not let the comments of other’s get to me.” He was so good at multitasking it was blowing your mind. You were itching to found out what else he could do with his fingers. Your thoughts were becoming too dirty but you couldn’t help it. You had never felt this way before. Kyubin’s touches were literally heaven. He knew how to make you squirm under him and it made you wonder all the things he could do to you with his co-”

“Ahh Kyu~” your thoughts were cut off as you felt his wet tongue touch your right nipple, his fingers still rolling at your left nipple. Like a new reflex you grabbed Kyubin’s head with your right hand and held him in place as his tongue licked and played around with your nipple. You could feel him smiling and feel what you only assumed was arousal pool between your legs. You had no idea what this feeling was inside you but you were getting tingles all over your body, your head, the back of your neck, up your spine and even between your legs. You couldn’t control how red your face was now, the more Kyubin sucked the more vocal you got. He switched to your left nipple doing the same thing. He himself started to gently moan and hum to get you more in the mood and help again to make you feel more comfortable. The moment his teeth grazed at your nipple you let out the prettiest moan Kyubin had ever heard. You fell back on the bed breathing heavy, closing your legs as fast as you could. It was overwhelming what you were feeling but you were just so excited and you wanted more.

“Are you alright love?” Kyubin asked leaning over you watching some fresh tears roll down your cheeks. “Yes, yes I’m good-d oh my god Kyubin.” You laid on the bed trying to catch your breath as Kyubin laid himself beside you stroking the side of your face and lightly grazing his fingertips down your stomach, up your thighs and around your arms. “You just let out the most cute and gorgeous little moan ever you know that? I’ve never heard anything sound so angelic it was like music to my ears.” You blushed still as if you weren’t red enough. You looked into Kyubin’s eyes again. Biting your lower lips you pulled Kyubin into you grabbing locks of his hair and holding on as you kissed him a little more intensely letting yourself moan into his mouth. Kyubin’s hands pressed themselves into the mattress his body hovering above you. You gasped sharply when you felt his lower region just touch yours.

You pulled your boyfriend closer to you resting your face against his neck as you let your body take over while your brain was disconnected for a bit. You bucked your hips up once against Kyubin’s groin causing your thighs to shudder at the feeling. You squeezed your eyes tightly moaning into his neck as you did it once more hearing Kyubin’s breathing pick up. You let go of Kyubin and he kept his entire body hovered above yours for a little bit. “I-I’m sorry um..I was..” you trailed off embarrassed by what you just did.

“Can I asked you something?” Kyubin gets off of you and lays next to you again. When he says yes you turn to him. You run your fingers up and down his arms tracing small circles on his bicep. “Have you had sex with your previous partners?” You said partners as you weren’t sure if Kyubin played for both teams or not. “I have, yes. Why do you ask?”

You pouted a bit. “Were they any good? Like..did you enjoy one over the other?”

“Are you asking if I compared them? No I didn’t. All of my sexual experiences differ with each partner. A lot of times it was very simple and very..I guess you could say pleasant but I had a few moments that weren’t as good. You should never compare partners though y/n. Each partner is different and enjoys different things.”

“Were they all girls?” you questioned softly feeling like you maybe overstepped your boundaries. Kyubin started laughing. “Is that why you said partners? Yes they were all girls. I’m not aware of having sex with other men.” Kyubin twirled a lose strand of your hair around his finger.

“Do you want to? Have sex with men?” You blurted out. Kyubin laughed again. “It’s not for me at the moment. Well, I mean. I’ve only been interested in woman so far. Why do you ask babe? Do you have a fantasy you want to act out, I’m sure I’d be open to something.” You felt your cheeks heat up again and you quickly raised up on the bed.

“No, no no I uh..I just thought maybe um..it might not be satisfactory compared to the other girls. What if I’m not good at it?” Kyubin raised up next to you placing his hand on the small of your back. “Darling, what did I tell you about comparing yourself to others. It’s not fair for me to say who I prefer out of my partners nor compare them to you. I can guarantee having sex with you will be satisfactory for both of us. Don’t worry about the past okay. The present is with you and taking care of you and making sure you enjoy yourself tonight alright love?” Kyubin pressed a kiss to your forehead. Now lay back on those pillow okay, we’re gonna go to the next step.” Kyubin playfully winked and you had to bite back a squeal.

When you had settled yourself in the pillows Kyubin leaned over you his mouth reconnecting to one of your breasts. While his mouth was busy his hand was gently squeezing your breast and playing with your nipple. You let him do as he pleased breathing in the light and fresh perfume he always wore. Having him right under your nose helped you to relax. A few times you flinched when his teeth came in contact with your nipple because you weren’t used to his lips and teeth on such places on your body but he was going slow and carefully listening to each sound you made.

He stopped and looked up at you when you started laughing. “I’m glad to see you in a good mood but what’s so funny?” he asked raising his brow. You reached up to cover your face feeling embarrassed for laughing. “I’m sorry it just kinda tickles.” Kyubin smiled at you a chuckle leaving him. 

“You’re so cute love.” Kyubin shook his head and went back to giving your nipple attention. Then he went to the other one leaving pecks around your breasts and up to your collarbone. Your hand found his hair and started petting him. His hair was so soft you wanted to ruffle it and maybe even pull on it but you didn’t want him to accidently bite your nipple off. His lips went down in between your breasts going to your stomach. He kissed your stomach like he did earlier with your lips. Soft and gentle and passionately. “You’re so beautiful. Your stomach is so cute.” he reached for your side and squeezed it a bit. As his lips went down further your heart started beating 80 miles a minute. But then you sighed as he went back up your body and to your lips. You loved his lips on yours it made you so happy to just kiss him and he was such a good kisser. Of course you hadn’t kissed anyone else before but you were very confident that Kyubin was the best. 

Kyubin pulled away looking down at you as he held his body above you. Some of his hair fell around his eyes and you gently tucked it back behind his ear looking into his eyes. Your eyes then followed as your hand moved down along his skin touching his neck and chest and then down his arm. You smiled as Kyubin mirrored your actions. “Kyu, you’re so pretty and handsome. I like when you kiss me. Your lips feel good, they feel warm and comforting.” You grabbed one of his hands to intertwine your fingers with his sending Kyubin’s heart to flutter. He gave you a small smile. “I’m glad you like it. I like kissing you too. I think we should definitely kiss more often.” You nodded at his response and he got off of you and moved to the foot of the bed.

“Are we doing that now?” you asked thinking he was ready to move on to the actual sex. Kyubin placed both his hands at your ankles rubbing your legs up and down til he came to your thighs. “Not yet. Can I take your shorts off or do you want to?” You shrugged. You were pretty comfortable right now and you didn’t feel like getting off the bed, taking them off then getting back on the bed. “You do it..I’ll watch.” Your comment made Kyubin smile the color pink finding it’s way on his cheeks. He placed his fingers on the waistline of your shorts. “Ah love these shorts are so cute. They are so soft, are you sure you want me to take them off?” you only giggled. “Of course I do Kyu.” He nodded and you raised your hips up so he could get them down your legs. When they were off your hands quickly glued themselves over your underwear.

“It okay. Relax.” Kyubin didn’t move your hands away or tell you to move them he just went down and started leaving small pecks and love bites on your thighs humming as he did so. His hair falling in his face and sweeping against your thighs tickled and you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing again. You felt his lips curve up smiling as he continued to kiss your thighs. His hands held your waist or traced circles on your thighs. You were getting used to his hands on your body and they were so warm against you. You wanted to touch him yourself so you started to run your hands through his hair and against the skin by his neck and shoulders. You raised up off the bed leaning on one elbow. Kyubin held out his hand and you took it is his kissing the back of it. He continued to kiss along your thighs while your hands were out of the way. 

You gasped as his lips landed on top of your underwear. He was kissing your panties but they way you could feel the touch from under the cloth had the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Kyubin raised up and starting laughing. “I just got the chills and you have goosebumps on your legs. Are you getting cold?” you shook you head. “No, I’ve just..you know. Never had someone kiss me..there before.” Kyubin nodded taking in your response before he asked you the next question. This time your face was beat red heartbeat just going. “You can yes, but you have to take your pants and panties off too. You playfully crossed your arms sending Kyubin into a fit of laughter.

“Of course I will and I don’t wear panties I wear boxers.”

“Well why can’t I say panties?” you laughed back. Kyubin shook his head giving you a quick kiss to your cheek. “You’re so damn adorable my heart might actually explode.”

“It better not before you get those pants off mister.” you stated pointing a finger at him. Kyubin got off the bed standing at the foot before he took off his belt. Unbuttoning his blue jeans your breath got caught in your throat watching them slide down his waist seeing a slight raise underneath his boxers. “Cute panties Kyu~” you cooed making him smile. You scooted to the foot of the bed your legs tucked under you watching with big eyes as Kyubin slowly slid his boxers down. When he raised up to toss his hair back your lip pulled back in between your teeth. “Oh my god.” you mumbled. Kyubin did that thing that every heartthrob does with his hair before crawling onto the bed. You scooted back as he crawled forward your eyes were glued to his dick. You watched as it bounced around almost like it was waving to you. “Now it’s your turn my love.” he teased.

“Y-you d-do it.” you stuttered. You tried to ask yourself where your thoughts were but they were too busy running around your mind prison screaming like chickens with their heads cut off. You could not take your eyes off Kyubin’s dick. You were mesmerized by it. Kyubin sat on his knees and gently slid your panties off. You once again covered yourself. Kyubin said nothing as his gaze was locked on you. In fact he didn’t need to say anything because you knew what he was thinking. You didn’t need to cover yourself anymore and at this point you didn’t want to. You were moving forward. When your hands moved away from your lower region Kyubin kissed you on the lips again. Every kiss was so nice and warm you could go all night just kissing. It was like every kiss to your lips was a thank you and a praise from Kyubin.

“Can I kiss you down here?” Kyubin asked his face inches from your skin his eyes looking up at you. You giggled a bit feeling the air from his nose tickle. “Yeah, yeah.” you couldn’t stop giggling, something just came over you and the thought of Kyubin kissing you down there was making you laugh. You had never thought of it before but the concept was kind of funny and strange. You covered your face with your hands trying to muffle your laughter. 

Kyubin had your legs spread and was hunched over you his lips gently kissing his way around your lady parts. You felt his hot breath and it tickled. “You’re so giggly tonight babe. How cute.” You took your hands off your face when you felt Kyubin’s lips go lower. You eyes went wide as his lips kissed your lower lips. Only for a few seconds before Kyubin raised up. “How was it?” you asked him. 

“It was good..could use a little salt though.” you burst out laughing Kyubin joining you. “Do you have enough pillows?” He asked you. You nodded and let out a comfortable sounding sigh. After a few more kisses and approval from you Kyubin used his fingers to touch your lower lips and get you used to him down there. His hands were so warm it felt relaxing but when his thumb gently rubbed against your clit you flinched. “Is something wrong? Should I slow down?” 

“No everything is fine I guess I was just surprised. Um..have you ever used sex toys?” The question took Kyubin a bit by surprised. You looked a bit embarrassed to be honest. “oh, well I suppose I have a few times yeah. How about you?” Kyubin just rubbed your skin around your lips, he didn’t want to fingerblast you just yet he wanted you to be comfortable with his hands and fingers toying with you before they entered you.

“I’ve mostly just tried to use my fingers. I’ve been kind of afraid to use sex toys. I don’t think they are for me you know?” Kyubin’s hands stopped touching you and he scratched his head. 

“In past relationships I never messed around with a lot of sex toys. When I did use them on my partners it was usually either a dildo or vibrator. For the most part they just liked me using my hands and things.”

“So you never did like nipple clamps or got kinky with a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs?” at this you and Kyubin both burst out laughing again. Kyubin shook his head. “No I think a lot of my partners were really sensitive so I didn’t want to use anything out of their comfort zone and a lot of them told me the same thing as you that that were a bit intimidating for a first time use.”

“Would you ever use a vibrating butt plug? or maybe a strap on?” you blurted out beginning to laugh again. Kyubin raised an eyebrow. “Like on myself or a partner?” He looked so confused it was so cute. You shrugged. “Probably not.” You two talked some more about different sex toys and what you two might want to try together and then you moved on. You moved on so much in fact that you had now allowed Kyubin to start stretching you out with his fingers. He went slow as he slipped one finger at a time into you moving them slowly and gently in and out of your vagina. You felt his finger glide along your walls, curling every now and again and it made light moans roll off your tongue.

“How does it feel? Am I doing okay?” Kyubin asked. He was angling everything so perfect your hips just had a mind of their own. “Yes, it’s perfect Kyubin, it’s so good.” You hadn’t even had his dick inside you yet and you were at a loss for words. He had magic in his hands. Your mind wondered what it would be like to have him finger you in the shower. You kept making these pretty moans and Kyubin was getting so excited. When he asked if he could use his tongue you choked out a yes thinking about how good it might feel down there knowing how good his tongue felt in your mouth.

He repositioned himself on his knees, his mouth lined up with your entrance. He held you his arms wrapped around your thighs keeping them spread as his tongue slowly licked up and around your folds. His kissing started out slow but it became messy pretty quickly. Running his tongue around your clit, his lips roamed around you, his humming sending vibrations inside you that made so many noises escape you. Little gasps every time his tongue went inside your vagina, soft moans when he started to suck your clit that became more loud and filled with need. Your thighs felt kind of like jelly and your breathing was heavy as he made you feel so good. You couldn’t put into words what you were feeling, you couldn’t tell him how he was doing you were so breathless and you couldn’t think about anything at the moment. 

The way his warm tongue just went everywhere and then his fingers pushed inside you. You sighed now feeling his tongue and lips and fingers down there. The sensation was indescribable. Your hands moved on their own to find his hair and your pulled his locked which made him moan and that vibrated through you. There was so much he was doing and you were starting to feel like maybe you were going to faint. You had a strange feeling in your stomach and you stuttered trying to find your words. Kyubin stopped when you made a small squeak. 

“What happened? Are you alright darling?” Kyubin sat up and came to your side his hand grabbing yours. You smiled at him face all pink. “I’m fine. I’m okay, it was, well I’ve never felt that feeling before. You’ve got magic in you Kyubin, it felt so amazing but I was starting to feel overwhelmed. I don’t know I felt strange.” Kyubin nodded and kissed you again. “And and the sounds coming from down there..they sound so..” you cut yourself off. Lewd was the word you were looking for but you were embarrassed to tell him that. Embarrased to admit that you were turned on and how you felt wet down there and how dirty it felt and sexy to have Kyubin’s entire face down there eating you out. It was a whole new experience and it took your breath away truly. You looked up into Kyubin’s eyes and quietly spoke up. “You make me feel..really g-good. I’m embarrased thinking of such thoughts.”

Kyubin was laying against the bed and you had an idea. You sat up on your knees and started at Kyubin’s erection. “Kyubin,” You started as you reached for his dick. After he treated you so well you wanted to return the favor but when he pulled back you got confused. You scooted closer to him and tried again but he pulled your hand away. “Kyubin what’s wrong? Why won’t you let me touch you?” Negative thoughts started to form in your head. What if he didn’t want you touching him cause he thought you were gross? What if he was taking advantage of you and didn’t want to be touched by you because he wanted control over you? He was your boyfriend, everything leading up to this had been so good and trusting. What happened? You looked at Kyubin’s body language. He wouldn’t look at you, his hair falling in his face again.

“Kyubin..it’s not fair. Why won’t you let me touch you. I’ve put all my trust in you tonight and I would think you would do the same. Why don’t you want me touching you? Am I not good enough?” You held back the tears this time waiting for him to respond. “It’s not that..” Kyubin gave a shy smile. “All my previous partners knew how and..you don’t have any experience.” You furrowed your brows. “So because I have no sexual experience with another person means I can’t try? Kyubin that’s mean how could you? I can’t believe this.”

You went to get off the bed but Kyubin grabbed your wrist. “No y/n it’s not like that I swear. I just want tonight to be all about you. I swear I have no bad intentions. I would never do that to you. Please trust me.” Kyubin sighed letting you go. “Love, I know what it sounds like. I didn’t want to have you do anything tonight cause I thought since this was already a lot for you it would be too overwhelming for you to please me. I wanted you to be comfortable receiving everything tonight. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.” Kyubin’s eyes were sad. He was telling the truth and you mentally kicked yourself for ever thinking he was a bad man. He proved all night that he was the best man ever and you had to stop doubting him. It wasn’t fair on him.

“I’m sorry. I just thought you’d want something. You’ve treated me so well tonight I wanted to return to favor. I know I don’t know what to do or how but you can teach me. Please Kyubin? I want to try.” You let Kyubin sit for a bit before you reached for his hand. After a little longer he nodded.

“Okay. You’re right it’s not fair and if you want to make me feel good tonight you should.” Kyubin pulled your hand over his cock and you let out an unexpected gasp as your fingers wrapped around his shaft. You were choking back your excitement, your hand was touching Kyubin’s dick and it made you giggle. Kyubin kept his hand on top of yours.

“W-what do I do now?” You looked at him and he was smiling. He moved your hand up and down his dick slowly. You squealed a bit in excitement. Your eyes were wide as he gently guided you up and down his shaft.

“Good good. J-just like that. That’s good.” Kyubin’s eyelids fluttered and his chest was starting to raise. You bit your bottom lip looking back and forth between Kyubin and his dick. Kyubin took his hand off of yours and let you take control. With each stroke you sped up and with each stroke you got more excited and turned on hearing Kyubin’s breathing speed up and his moans.

“Kyubin you’re so cute.” You moaned out. You slowed down a bit and swiped your thumb over his slit feeling his precum on your thumb. You felt Kyubin jerk his hips up. When you looked over at him his head was pushing back into the pillow his stomach muscles and arms muscles and really his whole body tightening. His bottom lips was in between his teeth and the image of your boyfriend becoming a mess to your touch like this gave you a small boost of confidence. You smiled and spoke softly as your fingers gently rubbed his tip playing with the cum. You watched it drip down your fingers and you jerked your hand up and down his shaft again coming all the way up to the tip to swipe your thumb over his slit again.

“Am I doing a good job baby? Your cock is so pretty Kyu. You look so cute.” You giggled as Kyubin jerked his hips up again and started thrusting into your hand.

“Fuck, yes baby it feels amazing. You’re doing so g-good fuck.” The way he was acting got you so excited and you sped up again. He let out a loud moan and you felt his hand grab your thigh as he came. You jumped a bit as the cum shot out flying onto his thigh and the sheets. You felt it in your hand and something clicked in your brain that told you to lower yourself down to his cock.

When you went to open your mouth just inches away from his tip, mouth salivating the desire to lick up his cum and suck him off with your mouth, he moved your head out of the way. Confused you looked at him. He was still breathing heavy and to be honest he didn’t have the strength to even push that hard you just felt a gentle nudge. Kyubin’s eyes opened his cheeks pink his breathing still heavy. “That’s enough love. You d-don’t have to do that.”

“Kyubin I wanted to..” you were disappointed that he stopped you and he could hear it in your voice.

“I-I know baby. But you don’t have to. Maybe another time you can give me a blowjob. I promise we’ll have plenty of time to explore each other further okay?” Kyubin blinked his breathing slowing down. He leaned over to grab something on the floor. When he raised back up his shirt was in his hand. He took your hand and wiped his cum off you and then he cleaned his dick. You were a little sad that Kyubin seemed to want to stop.

“I just wanted you to feel good after you made me feel good.” You said wringing your hands again. You heard Kyubin sigh. When you looked at him he looked sad. He was probably internally beating himself up over stopping you.

“I know baby. Trust me you did such a wonderful job, you did make me feel good. You’re hands were so soft and so small and cute god I couldn’t stand it. If you gave me a blowjob..” Kyubin trailed off seeming embarrassed. Maybe he was so turned on it was overwhelming him. “Another time I promise. Another time I’ll let you wrap that pretty mouth around my cock.” As Kyubin was speaking you could hear the excitement in his voice.

You crawled on top of him and kissed him pushing your tongue into his mouth. He moaned in pleasure and you felt his cock harden up slowly against your thigh. “Let’s move on Kyubin please?” You asked pulling away from him. He smiled nodding. You two gently switched positions so he was over you again.

“Baby listen. Before I start I need you to listen to me. I am going to go slow and I am going to let you adjust because you’ve never had a dick in you before. It’s different from fingers you know.” As Kyubin was speaking to you he was holding the back of your thighs rubbing them with him thumbs. He was trying to help your nerves and help you relax. You’re breathing was already so heavy but Kyubin was here just like he promised. You felt safe with him. You felt warmth all throughout your body and your heart felt like it was going to burst out of love. You were spacing out as he spoke to you in such a sweet and gentle tone.

A warm hand cupping your cheek brought you back. “Hey love, listen okay. It’s important. This is going to hurt. It might hurt a lot. I’m going to go slow and if it hurts too much tell me and I’ll stop. It’s very important that you communicate with me during this part okay? I want you to be comfortable and safe. Please please speak up if you want to stop. I am in no rush, if tonight is not the right night that is okay. We can always try again later alright? Do you understand me?” He asked looking into your eyes. “Yes Kyubin.” You nodded.

“Okay, are you ready love?” You gave him another yes and he slowly lined his tip up to your entrance. You breathed in sharply, “wait wait wait,” you blurted out covering your eyes with your hands. All the emotions and all the nerves you had been holding in all night were coming out. You were terrified. You’re thoughts were running at 80 miles an hour. Was he going to care for you after? Was he going to leave you after? Were you only another virgin to his collection? Did he really have bad intentions and he’s lied to you your entire relationship? What if he pulls what he did in the shower again? Or worse? What if he gets you pregnant on purpose and leaves you and the baby? What if he doesn’t like you after he takes your virginity?

“What wrong? Did you change your mind?” Kyubin asked coming to sit next to you. You hesitated. “Um..Kyubin..can I ask how many times you’ve had sex with someone who was a virgin?” Kyubin cocked his head to the side and pondered for a bit. “I have. A few of the woman were virgins yes.”

“Did you only have sex with them?”

“Are you asking if I was in a relationship with them or not? I was. For a few years with some of them. Some only a few months. I was never the type to just hookup.” Kyubin carressed your cheek lightly with the back of his hand.

“Why did you break up with them? Was it because they were no longer virgins?” You started to tear up once again. Kyubin frowned at what you were hinting at. “No. Absolutely not. I am not like that. Often times they just got tired of being in a relationship. Sometimes I ended it because I felt like I wasn’t doing enough for them or I felt like they weren’t doing enough for me. They just ended up not working out for whatever reason. I did not break up with them because they were no longer virgins.”

“Oh.” You mumbled. “Y/n are you afraid I won’t love you anymore if you aren’t a virgin?” Kyubin sighed when you looked away more tears falling. “Darling look at me please.” When you did he reached up and wiped a tear away. “I am having sex with you because you are ready and because I love you very much and I want you to know how much and I want me and you to be able to share intimacy like this and explore each other’s bodies and make each other feel good. I want you to trust that I’ll take care of you no matter what. I am your rock. I will be here for you always. Even if you weren’t a virgin I’d still love you and still want to enjoy special things like sex with you and I’d still take care of you.”

Kyubin pulled you into him wrapping his arms around you. “Oh Kyubin.” Your heart was ready to leap out of your chest at his words. He really was the best man ever. Sweet, genuine, it made you want to cry out of happiness. “Since you are a virgin I need to make sure that your first time is okay for you. That’s why I told you in the very beginning that you had the wheel the entire time and that you needed to communicate with me with your words. I will do my absolute best to make sure you are comfortable and feel safe and loved. All the woman I’ve been with that were virgins were all different, all different experiences and I did everything I could to make it a good experience for them. I will do the exact same thing for you. Yes you are way more nervous than they were and a lot more scared but I’m ready to handle it and I’m ready to be here for you now and forever. I will always love you no matter what, you being a virgin or not has no effect on how much I love you and how far I will go to protect you and make sure that you feel okay mentally and physically before during and after this.” He ran his hands through your hair and brought your chin up to look at him.

“I love you Kyubin.” You said reaching up to kiss his lips. This kiss made your heart flutter so much. More than all the previous kisses. It felt like your lips were melting into each other. “Um Kyubin,” you spoke up trying to hold back your laughter when you realized he was about to go in raw. “Did you forget the condom?”

You busted up laughing when his eyes widened. “Oh shit hang on.” Kyubin got off the bed and pulled open the top drawer in the nightstand. He was shuffling around for awhile before coming back to the bed. “Ok, almost forgot.” It made you laugh some more. “Lay back and spread your legs for me please.” Kyubin asked softly as he tore open the small package and began rolling the condom on him. You smiled gushing over how sweet his tone was while speaking so lewdly. Kyubin speaking dirty to you made you feel giddy and made you want to let loose and take control but you didn’t want to get crazy for your first time.

Kyubin ran his hand through his hair his beautiful brown eyes looking into yours. “I’m nervous Kyubin.” You whispered. Your cheeks had been pink all night and you found the heat from your cheeks annoying. You wished he didn’t make you blush so hard it was crazy. Insane even with how crazy he made you. You could tell Kyubin was a little nervous too, his hands were a bit shaky as he reached for yours intertwining your fingers together.

“I know love. It’s okay to be nervous. I am too.” You raised your eyebrow confused. Kyubin chuckled. “I’m taking your virginity. I am nervous. I worry it won’t be a good experience for you or that I’ll accidentally hurt you. I want this to be good for you. I want to treat you so good and I’m worried that I might screw up.” Kyubin looked away saying nothing. You found it funny that he was so nervous as he’s had sex with other woman and taken their virginity. What was the difference?

“Kyubin,” You said sitting up on your elbows reaching for his face. You gently rubbed his cheek. “how am I any different from all your partners before me?” Kyubin was quiet for a moment his hand reaching up to hold yours as he leaned into your touch. His beautiful eyes looked up at you his beautiful lashes making his eyes even more beautiful. He smiled again.

“You’re so special to me y/n. So special. I just love you so so much and you make me so happy all the time and I want to take care of you and treat you right and you just make me so happy. I can’t describe how you make me feel. My heart is so happy every time I look at you..” Kyubin trailed off and you pulled him towards you bringing your lips to his. You felt the corners of his mouth curve up and it made you smile back. You kissed like this slow and sweet until you both pulled away. Then Kyubin laid you back on the bed and started kissing your lips again. He was so gentle but you could feel the want in his actions, how desperate he was to have you. His lips roamed down your neck and to the valley in between your breasts and down to your stomach. He gave your sides a few gentle squeezes and then he grabbed one of your hands to bring it up to his lips. As he kissed the back of your hand he looked up at you. You breathed in a shaky breath. Your heart had the zoomies.

“I’m ready for you Kyubin.” You giggled. He simply nodded and helped you spread you legs moving himself in between your thighs. He grabbed the lube that was sitting on the bed and put a generous amount on your hip bone. You quietly watched as he dipped his digits into you and you let out a soft moan. When Kyubin thought you were slippery enough he rubbed the rest of the lube on the condom and lined himself up to your entrance.

“I want you to breath okay. Just relax and let me know if you want me to stop.” With his free hand he held your side rubbing the skin with his thumb. You took a deep breath as Kyubin pushed himself into your entrance.

A sharp pain shot through you. He barely put his cock in you and you were squirming. Tears quickly formed with how fast you felt the pain. Kyubin was trying to calm you down by tracing circles on your thighs but you were in too much pain. “Baby I know it hurts I know I’m sorry. The pain with go away I promise.” Kyubin was feeling frantic as he never dealt with this before. He was scared he hurt you too much and he was staring to wonder if you pushed yourself too much and you actually weren’t ready for this. Kyubin started to sweat.

“Make it stop Kyu please it hurts!” Your breathing was off and your cheeks were red the tears coming out like waterworks. “Darling it will hurt if I pull out. I know it hurts I’m sorry love but just wait a bit and it won’t hurt as bad I promise you. Just breath ok, focus on your breathing. You don’t need to be hyperventilating right now.” Your hands were over your face clenching your teeth. Kyubin grabbed your hands and held them in his so you could squeeze them. Which you did. A lot. But Kyubin was a a strong man and you weren’t hurting him as much as he was you. His heart hurt knowing you were in pain and watching you cry over it. He knew how scared you were and seeing you like this made him sad. It made him want to stop and wrap you in his arms and just hold you until the tears stopped.

Kyubin figured it would hurt a lot less pulling out than staying in. “Okay I’m gonna pull out alright?” He said wiping some of your tears away.

“No, no Kyubin.” You cried some more. The pain was unbearable but you didn’t want to throw in the towel. You wanted him, you wanted this.

“But I hate seeing you in pain y/n. I don’t want you to cry you’ll get a horrible headache.” Kyubin was gentle in moving the hair out of your face and making sure you felt his touch hoping it would help calm you down.

“I know but please Kyubin. I want this and I know you’ll take care of me. Like you said the pain will go away and then I’ll be fine please Kyubin I want you, I want this. Please, it’s okay. Take my virginity Kyubin.” You were losing your damn mind over the pain the tears blurring your vision so much you could only see the outline of Kyubin’s head.

Kyubin was smiling at your words. He even felt a little dirty with the way you asked him to take your virginity. “Okay. Let me know what the pain subsides I’ll inch my way in. A little at a time we’ll go as slow as you want okay?” You nodded as you reached up to grab his lower arms.

You inhaled as Kyubin finally bottomed out. He had his entire cock inside you and you felt more stuffed than a Christmas dinner. You felt the way he rested inside your walls, filling you up all the way and you had to admit after all the pain went down it was a weird feeling to have something inside you. It made you feel a mix of aroused and embarrassed. “K-Kyu~” You cooed at him.

“Yes love?” Kyubin’s hands were placed on the mattress on either side of your head. His body was a few inches above yours his face just so close to you. His breathing was hot and heavy like yours and his eyes were so big and beautiful. His hair was in his face again and you cupped his face. He was so pretty like this and you had thoughts about you being on top of him. “Please move. M-make me f-feel good Kyu~” You stuttered the red still hanging out on your cheeks. Kyubin smiled leaning down further to kiss your lips.

Kyubin kept a good pace as he continuously thrusted in and out of you. All the pain was gone and what was complete fear of the unknown and worrying about everything had turned into the most wonderful and beautiful experience you could have ever dreamed of. Kyubin has been a doll throughout it all and you were so grateful to him. He didn’t just fuck you Kyubin was taking his time with you making sure you were comfortable and enjoying yourself. You two were making love both your bodies close and twisting around each other in sweet bliss. You loved the look in his eyes as you looked down at you, the bright sparkle warmed your heart. You loved the way his hair was bouncing around but also sticking to his forehead and you had to constantly move it out of his eyes. You loved the way he’d slow down to kiss your lips and all over your face and body, the way his hands felt in yours and on your body. It made you feel safe and loved. The way he would smile and comment such sweet things to you as if you needed a thousand more reasons to blush.

Everything was going so smooth and perfect. Suddenly your body felt like it was betraying you. You didn’t know how long he had been going but you got the feeling that maybe you were going to have an orgasm soon. Of course you didn’t know what one felt like or the feeling one gets before one happens and for some reason you didn’t want to. Your head felt strange like you were dizzy or your head felt heavy? you couldn’t really describe it. Your vision was not clear at all Kyubin’s face was so blurred you thought you were going blind. Your stomach felt like it was in multiple knots and each thrust felt more and more intense and amplified. Your heartbeat and quickened and when you tried to call out to your dear Kyubin you felt like you were drifting from him.

You started to panic, you tried to focus on your breathing like Kyubin had told you earlier but how could you when you weren’t even sure if breathing was gonna help. “Kyubin!” You cried out.

“Yes darling, you’re doing so good.” Kyubin’s pace sped up and you tried to move your hands but you felt weak. It took all your strength and focus to find Kyubin’s arm and gently squeeze it.

“Kyubin help something’s wrong Kyubin something’s happening!” You yelled out to him. Your vision was even more blurred now as you began to cry. You were completely freaking out and had no idea what to do. You felt him slow down a bit and felt his hand on your face. You knew he was still with you but it didn’t feel like it. It felt like he was getting farther from you and it scared you so much.

“Baby you’re okay, you’re just climaxing, you’re about to have an orgasm. Is it too much? Do you want me to stop?” You heard his voice and you understood what he was saying but your brain was somewhere else. “Y/n talk to me you have to talk to me okay? I can stop.”

“Kyubin you stay with me? Kyubin please..take me Kyubin.” You managed to blurt out your response. You saw a super blurry Kyubin nod.

“Yes my love I’m right here I’m not going anywhere. Do you want me to make you cum?” He asked. Your heart felt like it was bursting. You could only nod your head in response. “Squeeze my hand if you want to cum okay love, you have to respond.” With all your strength you could muster you squeezed his hand and by god that was all the man needed. Kyubin sped up back to the pace he was before and you felt every feeling again.

“Kyubin Kyubin!” You half screamed. “It’s okay to be scared love it’s okay. I’m right here I’m not letting you go.” Kyubin started to slow down and you felt the condom fill up with his cum and that’s what sent you over. All your senses seemed a thousand times more intense as this wild feeling washed over your entire body. You couldn’t describe it really. It was scary but it felt so good.

You let out multiple cries your entire body shaking like crazy. You feel Kyubin’s arms wrap around you his warm chest against yours. You feel his hair tickling your skin as both of you have your faces buried in each other’s necks. He is saying something to you, he’s repeating something you can hear it but your entire body is in such a place that you can no longer comprehend a thing. All you can feel is this incredible high and the warmth coming from Kyubin.

“It’s okay my love you are okay, you’re doing amazing.” You finally hear Kyubin’s words, his sweet whispers next to your ear sends more butterflies to your stomach and makes your heart swell up. “You’re okay you’re such a good girl you did so good. I’m so proud. I’m right here baby. I’ve got you, you’re safe.” As what you could only assume was you coming down from your life changing orgasm you started to become more aware of your surroundings; you saw Kyubin’s face clearly now his eyes looking into yours, you felt yourself holding his hands and you felt his soft and perfect lips meet yours. You would never ever get enough of those lips.

When Kyubin pulled away a bit his thumb reached down to wipe your tears and softly rub your cheek. “My beautiful girl.” Kyubin said rubbing his nose against yours. He kept praising you and whispering such sweet words into your ear you wondered if his words alone could make you cum. He made you feel so special and loved, it made you so happy in a way you’d never be able to describe. “I’m going to pull out okay? I’ll go slow.” Kyubin raised up a bit and with one hand held the condom so nothing came out and with the other rubbed your stomach to keep you calm in case him pulling out got you riled up again. Kyubin got off the bed to throw the condom away and then climbed back over you. 

He gently moved your hair out of your face so you could see him clearly. He was smiling so wide he was glowing. It made you smile back. You two just looked in each other’s eyes for awhile before he kissed you a few times on the lips. Then he went to get up again but you gently grabbed his wrist feeling very sensitive and needy right now.

“Where are you going?” You asked softly. You’re brain was still a little mushy from your orgasm so speaking was a little hard at the moment. Kyubin turned to you cupping your cheek with one hand while his wrist was being held by you.

“I’m gonna get you some water and a towel I’ll be right back ok?” Kyubin went to move away his wrist slipping out of your grasp. You slightly panicked and you quickly grabbed his arm. “Noooo stay here please. I need you Kyu~” water was all the way in the kitchen and you wanted and needed Kyubin here in the bedroom. Kyubin looked at your cute pout and smiled giving you a soft peck on the lips before getting off the bed. With Kyubin’s warm body not touching yours you felt cold. You wrapped your arms around yourself. “Relax love, I have water here,” Kyubin said. You watched him go into the corner of the room and then you remember he keeps a mini fridge next to the window. In the beginning you told him you didn’t want a mini fridge in your room. You didn’t think it was necessary, Kyubin could just go downstairs and get water why does he need a mini fridge in his room anyway? But every night Kyubin was getting out of bed to get a glass of water or he would leave just to get something to drink. You realized Kyubin was also parched especially at night so you let him keep the mini fridge. He always kept it full but he was constantly drinking bottle after bottle of water. Especially after working out. Now you were glad for the mini fridge. Now he didn’t have to leave you for very long. You smiled as he came back with a towel in one hand and one of his t-shirts and a water bottle in the other.

Kyubin helped you sit up on the bed holding you close to him as he held the bottle up to your lips. You took a few sips and Kyubin cleaned you and him up a bit with the towel before he helped you into his shirt.  He stopped and looked down at you before speaking. “How do you feel? There was a lot more blood than I thought there would be.” 

“I’m okay Kyubin, just a little tired and I’ll probably be really sore soon.” kyubin pulled you into him and kissed your temple. 

“You don’t have to get out of bed tomorrow okay? I’ll care take of you. Just relax right now. You did so good my love.”

Settling in Kyubin’s arms, his hand slowly rubbed the small of your back and went up to pet your head. He hummed and kissed your forehead while you melted into him. “I’m so proud of you y/n. I know that you were very scared and worried but you did so well. Thank you.” You looked up at Kyubin with a confused look on your face. Kyubin smiled and grabbed your hand intertwining his fingers with yours. “Because you finally had enough confidence and bravery to open up to me like this. Sex is very big and I know how you felt about it and how you were always so self conscious about getting intimate and I’m just so happy and proud of you for being at the point where you are ready and willing and I’m so glad that you have so much trust in me and that together we were able to explore ourselves and each other’s bodies and love in another way. I mean, for so long you would only let me kiss you cheek or forehead and then you started letting me kiss your lips and neck and touch your waist and thighs and now,” Kyubin paused, you heard him choke up. Sitting up to look at your boyfriend fully you were surprised to see his waterline becoming, well, water. Kyubin was crying and you had never really seen him cry. At least not at something like this. “I’m sorry I’m just, I mean..god y/n I am so fucking proud of you and so so happy that you trusted me enough to get this intimate with you and I just.” Kyubin allowed tears to fall from his eyes and you watched the clear drops roll down his beautiful cheekbones. He squeezed your hand as a way of letting you know he was alright.

For a long while you two just looked into each other’s eyes. Kyubin’s were red from crying but he was still the most beautiful man you had ever seen in your entire life. His beauty showed in more than one way and suddenly you were filled with so many emotions you started to cry. This only brought more tears into Kyubin’s eyes. “Oh Kyubin I love you.” You exclaimed quite literally throwing your arms around him. Your arms wrapped around his neck, your face buried in his chest.

Kyubin’s arms gently wrapped around your waist, one hand on the small of your back to other petting your hair. “I love you too darling. I love you and I am in love with you and I always will be and I will never stop. Ever.”

JESUS FUCK I’m sorry if this was too long but boy I do be proud of myself indeed. I’m sorry Kyubin just makes me feel certain things. I hope anyone reading this enjoyed it uwu. 

#onlyoneof #kb #kyubin #shin kyubin #onlyoneof fanfics #onlyoneof smut #onlyoneof fluff #kyubin fanfics #kyubin smut #kyubin fluff #shin kyubin fanfics #shin kyubin smut #shin kyubin fluff #kpop fanfics #kpop smut #kpop fluff #fanfics #smut #fluff

[actress4him]

Whumptober 2023 - Day 16 - College AU

This part of the College AU takes place before the events of the rest of the pieces I've written for it, and is the first hospital incident referred to in "Comfort". It's one of the longest of my Whumptober fics!

Keep in mind that the Kamaria in this universe, while still tough and still having gone through a lot of abuse in her life, isn't hardened by war and torture like canon Kamaria.

Bruno belongs to Izzy and is used with permission!

Taglist: @painful-pooch , @sssunshinebreeze

The Shadow of Death Masterlist

No. 16: “Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” | Gurney | Flatline

Contains: lady whump, dude whump, hospital, referenced noncon, real word for noncon used, referenced beating, collar, internal bleeding, mild blood, noncon touch, touch aversion, talk of death, aftermath of noncon in hospital, cpr, passing out, police, broken bones

.

.

She screams his name again and again, but there’s no response.

“Bruno…Bruno no…please, Bruno!”

They wouldn’t stop hitting him, and kicking him, over and over and over, until he finally fell completely still. He hasn’t moved since. She can’t tell if he’s breathing or not, only knows that there’s blood streaking his face and his arm is misshapen and he won’t wake up.

Even when the frat house basement is miraculously flooded with police officers and paramedics, it’s all she can think, all her mind will repeat.

Bruno. Bruno. Bruno. Bruno. Bruno.

She’s pressing so far forward she can barely breathe, the cord that connects her to the wall digging the collar into her throat, but she’s nowhere near reaching him. She can’t even see him anymore, not with everyone kneeling around him. 

Her voice is raw from screaming and crying. “Bruno!”

All of the attention has been on him so far, as she wants it to be, but one officer finally turns and approaches her. The last thing she wants right now or ever again is anyone touching her, but at the same time…

“Get it off!” She clutches the hated collar, making brief eye contact with him before looking back to Bruno. “Get it off, get it off!”

“Okay, hold on. I’ve got you.” He crouches down, examining the clasp and the padlock that holds it shut, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a knife, flicking it open. Kamaria flinches backwards involuntarily. “You’re okay, you’re okay. I’m just gonna cut through this, okay? It may take me a second, but I won’t hurt you.”

Just hurry.

The wait is agonizing, but eventually he’s able to saw through the collar and she’s free. Immediately she begins to crawl toward Bruno, ignoring the pain that tears through her. 

His eyes are still closed. He’s still not moving. She reaches out for him, but before she can finally touch him for the first time since this all began, he’s lifted up by several sets of hands onto the gurney waiting next to him. Straps are pulled tight across his body and the gurney is unfolded to its full height.

Still kneeling on the floor, Kamaria lets out an ugly sob.

“I’ve got you, sweetie. You’re okay. Can you stand?” Someone, she doesn’t register whether she’s a paramedic or a police officer, crouches down next to her, too close, hands reaching out. 

Kamaria flings herself backwards. “Don’t touch me!”

“Okay!” Gloved hands raise in surrender. “I was just going to help you up, but I won’t touch if you don’t want me to.”

She does need to stand. She needs to be with Bruno, but they’re already carrying him toward the door. A strangled cry escapes her, watching his still form being taken away. “He’s…he’s…”

“Look, what if I offer you an arm? You can use my arm to pull yourself up, then we can follow your boyfriend, okay?”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” The words spill automatically from her lips, repeated over and over so many times in the past…week? month? more? He’s not my boyfriend, we’re not even dating! We’re just friends! Kane never cared, though. He’d decided his own version of the truth, and nothing was going to sway him from it. 

What they technically are to each other hardly matters now, though. She cares for him. She feels something for him that she’s never felt for anyone before, especially not Kane. If it wasn’t obvious before, then watching him suffer because of her and having him try to comfort and support her through it all sealed it in her mind and heart.

“I need…I need to be with him.” The woman is offering her arm, like she said, and Kamaria only eyes it for a moment before clinging to it and allowing herself to be hoisted to her feet, biting back whimpers of pain the whole way. She lets go as soon as she’s steady enough and begins limping after the others, arms wrapped around her stomach.

The yard of the frat house is total chaos. Police cars are parked haphazardly at the curb, lights flashing. Multiple fraternity members, including ones that weren’t involved at all, are being handcuffed and questioned. In the next yard over and across the street, crowds have gathered to gawk at the scene.

But she can’t think about any of that right now, not the embarrassment she should be feeling or the dread of what a legal mess all of this is going to become. Her eyes desperately dart around until she finds what she’s looking for - the gurney with Bruno on it, being loaded into the back of an ambulance.

She rushes forward as fast as her abused body will go. “Please, please! Take me, too, I need to go with him!”

People in uniform block her path. The ambulance and the lights and the uniforms and the despair clogging her throat are starting to swirl together in her mind, trying to turn into a different event entirely, but she doesn’t have time for flashbacks right now. She has to get to Bruno. 

“Please,” she sobs. “I need…I need to…is he okay? Is he alive?”

“He’s alive,” someone answers, gentle. “But we need to get him to the hospital as quickly as possible to keep him that way. You can’t come inside, they need room to work.” 

The ambulance doors slam shut, and Kamaria feels like someone is twisting her insides into a knot.

“Let’s go to the other ambulance, over here. We’ll take you straight there behind him, alright?”

She doesn’t need an ambulance, she’s fine. But if it means following Bruno, then she’ll accept it. She lets them lead her there in a daze, unaware of anything but his absence until the vehicle is moving and strangers are trying to touch her again. The trip is spent with her curled in a corner next to the door, fists poised to fight, snapping at the paramedics every time they try to convince her to let them look her over. 

“Did those boys assault you?” one of them asks at one point. 

“I said I’m fine, leave me alone!” She can’t let her mind go there, not right now. 

The ambulance stops, and someone opens the doors from the outside. Kamaria immediately tumbles out, jerking away from the hands that try to catch her, and hurries toward the emergency room doors. At least a couple of people are following her, but she ignores them. She can see Bruno up ahead. Not even the onslaught of hospital sights and smells can deter her from getting to him. 

“Let’s wait right here so we don’t get in the way.” It’s the lady from the basement, appearing by her side and putting out an arm to keep her from charging into the small room where they’ve taken him. She starts to protest, but it’s obvious by now she’s not going to win with these people. The last thing she wants is to prevent him from getting the care he needs, anyway, no matter how it makes her heart ache.

Bruno is lifted again, off the gurney this time and onto the bed. He still hasn’t woken up. As the paramedics clear the room, the doctors swirl around him, hooking him up to machines and calling out terms that sound like a foreign language. 

The device that had started out steadily beeping starts flashing numbers, the beeps becoming a long, high-pitched screech.

“He’s crashing!”

More people run into the room, shoving past Kamaria. Someone has their hands braced on Bruno’s chest, pounding out compressions, while another fits an oxygen mask over his face and manually pumps air into his lungs.

Kamaria crumples. The woman catches her before she can hit the floor, holding up her weight while she screams. “Please no…please! He can’t die, he can’t, it’s all my fault!”

If she’d never dated Kane, none of this would have happened. If she’d never become friends with Bruno, none of this would have happened. He’s hurt because of Kane’s jealousy over her. He’s dying because of her.

“Shh, shh.” She can barely hear the voice in her ear over the sound of her own cries and the wailing of the monitor. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Look…they got him back. See? He’s okay. He’s alive.”

He’s alive. For now. 

She’s so exhausted, so utterly spent, that she can barely straighten herself back up. Somewhere between the frat house and here, the tentative scab that had been trying to form over the cut across her face apparently got knocked off in a couple of places. She can feel wetness on her forehead and nose where it’s sluggishly bleeding. She ignores it, though, just like everything else, pushing the arms away from her and clinging to the doorframe.

“We need to get him to the OR,” one of the doctors is saying. They’re prepping him to move again.

“What’s happening, where are they taking him?” 

“To surgery,” the woman answers. “You’ll need to stay here until he’s done.”

“Surgery.” What did Kane do to him? “What kind of surgery? Is he going to be okay?”

“I don’t know, but I will find out everything I can for you. In the meantime, let’s get you your own room where you can wait for him.”

He’s being wheeled away again. She can’t do anything but stand in the middle of the hallway, swaying slightly, and watch.

“Come on, sweetie. This way.”

She follows numbly, heart still beating out a rhythm of his name. Bruno. Bruno. Bruno. Bruno. It’s not until she’s sitting on the bed that the setting starts to catch up with her. She runs her hands through her hair, fingers getting caught up in tangles, eyes darting around the room. 

“I can’t…I can’t be here. I’m fine, I don’t need to be here.” Fire. Smoke. Oxygen mask. “I’ll go somewhere else, I-I’ll wait for him…somewhere else.”

“Hey.” The woman is still there. Kamaria focuses in on her features - blonde hair, blue eyes, hard jawline, shadows under her eyes - trying to think of anything but the room she’s in. “I know this is incredibly difficult. I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through, and I know you’re worried about your friend. But you need to be examined, too, you need to let them look at you.”

She shakes her head vehemently. “No. No, I’m fine, I don’t want them touching me.” I want my mom. “Bruno, he’s…” Another sob catches in her throat. “He’s going to die, isn’t he?” The last time she was in a hospital, her mother was dead. Hospitals go hand in hand with grief.

“I don’t know, sweetie.” The woman’s eyes are filled with sympathy, but Kamaria can’t look directly at them. “I’m still going to find out for you what’s going on, but I do know for sure that the doctors here are amazing, and they’re gonna do everything they can to save him.

“We need to talk about you right now, though. I know you don’t want to be touched. But you need to let someone treat that cut on your face, so it doesn’t get infected, and check you over for other injuries.”

“I don’t have any other injuries.”

The woman looks at her for a long moment. Kamaria doesn’t want to know what she sees. “I can’t force you to get treated. I can’t make you do any of it. But I need you to consider letting them do a rape kit.”

She can feel all the color draining from her face. “What?”

“I don’t want to let those boys get away with what they did, and I know you don’t, either. We need to be able to collect samples so we can run DNA and pin this on the right people.”

“No. No!” She jumps off the bed, backing across the room. “No, I can’t, I can’t do that. They…they saw us there, they saw what they did to Bruno…” For the first time, it finally registers that the woman is wearing a police uniform. “You saw what they did to him. I can…we can tell you what happened, who it was. Set up a, a lineup, or whatever you call it, we’ll point them out. You don’t need…I can’t.”

The officer nods. “Your testimony will be very helpful, and if you can ID all of the guys that’s great. But listen…” She takes a couple of steps closer. “Boys like that? Have rich families with expensive lawyers to back them up. Lawyers that will do everything in their power to cause doubt and get them off scot-free. DNA evidence, though - the kind of evidence we can get from you - will put them away. They won’t be able to argue against that. Chances are you wouldn’t even have to go to court or see them ever again.”

She pauses. “Maybe you’re not looking for justice for yourself. But what about Bruno? Don’t you want justice for him, however we can get it?”

She can’t, she can’t, she can’t, she can’t, just the thought of more hands on her, of the invasion of privacy and the looking and the questions…she wants to scream, she wants to crumble into a million pieces and disappear, she wants her mom, she wants Bruno. 

But she can’t have any of that. And no matter what happens to Bruno, the people that did this to him need to be locked away. Kane needs to be locked away, so that they never have to worry about him again.

“I’ll be right there by your side the whole time. You can hold my hand if you’d like.”

“No, you…you’ve got to find out about Bruno,” she mumbles.

“I will. I promised I would. I can go get someone to do your exam - a female - find out about the surgery, and be back here to keep you company. Okay?”

She can’t. She has to. “O-okay.”

It’s worse than she imagined. She nearly loses it just putting on the hospital gown and has to be talked back down by Officer Williams, as she learns the woman’s name is. They take pictures first, and with every flash of the camera she’s taken back to social services taking a photo for her foster care file. 

Officer Williams does her best to keep her mind off of what’s happening throughout the process, though the questions she asks about their time in the basement aren’t much better to dwell on than the present or her flashbacks. Kamaria does her best to answer, staring up at the too-bright lights on the ceiling with tears in her eyes, jolting and nearly hyperventilating every time she’s touched again. 

Finally, the officer is leaning over her. “It’s over, sweetie, it’s over. You did great.” 

Kamaria immediately stands. “I want my clothes back. When can I see him?”

“Your clothes are evidence, I’m sorry. But I’m sure the hospital has something they can provide for you to wear.” She looks to the nurses, still packing up their supplies, for confirmation. “And I will go see if there are any updates while you’re waiting on those.”

He’s in surgery for internal bleeding and a punctured lung. It’s no surprise, the way they’d beaten and kicked him. He’d withstood it for so long, so many days of torment, but that last time…it was just too much. His body couldn’t take anymore.

If the police hadn’t shown up when they did…

She can’t think about that.

Officer Williams comes back to report that Bruno is still in surgery, no indication of how much longer it will be. Kamaria is given a pair of grey sweatpants, a white t-shirt, and some slippers, and sent out to the waiting room. They wanted to keep her in a room, put her on an IV, but she adamantly refused. 

It should be her, injured like that. All she has to show for their time in that basement is some bruises and the deep cut bisecting her face, which only required some cream and a little bit of tape and bandages in the worst places. It was too late for stitches. She has no idea what she looks like now, doesn’t want to know. But it’s nothing compared to what they did to Bruno, and he should never have even been involved. He shouldn’t have come after her when Kane grabbed her, then he’d be okay right now.

She’s exhausted, but she can’t rest. Her legs bounce up and down, hands rubbing her thighs, fingers dancing along her arms making little crescent-shaped imprints in her skin. Her mind won’t stop flashing pictures at her of Kane and the others, of Bruno lying motionless on the floor. 

He has to live. He has to.

“Kamaria Veisi?”

She clears the floor completely as she jumps from her seat, eyes wide, heart dropping into her stomach.

The nurse strolls forward, offering a grim smile. “He’s out of surgery. It was tough, but they feel sure they got everything patched up.”

It feels like all the blood in her body drops into her toes all at once. The world goes black, and next thing she knows she’s sitting back in the chair, head between her knees. 

“You with me?” a voice asks.

She nods, though her skin is hot and her ears feel clogged up. 

“Just take it easy, don’t get up too quickly.”

“He’s…” She lifts her head slightly, looking for the nurse’s eyes. “He’s alright?”

“It’s going to be touch and go still for a little while. There’s always the chance that something was missed, or that infection will set in. But…for now, he’s alright.”

Kamaria shuts her eyes, breath shuddering. He’s alive. He’s okay. 

She sits up slowly, propping her elbows on her knees, letting her head adjust to the new altitude. “Can I see him?”

“Yes.” He looks at her with concern. “But I’m going to get a wheelchair to bring you to him.”

“I don’t need a wheelchair.” She sits up further, ready to stand.

The nurse puts out a hand to stop her. “Just humor me, okay?”

All that really matters is getting to Bruno as soon as possible, so she agrees and lets him wheel her through the hallways. They head to a bigger room, not one of the cubicles in the ER. 

Kamaria stops breathing as soon as he pushes her through the door. Everything about the room - the smell, the bed, the sterile whiteness, the softly beeping machines - is suffocating, but Bruno is here. He’s far more pale and still than he ever should be, the white sheets and the sickly blue hospital gown making it even worse, but at least there’s no more blood smeared on his face. He looks peaceful, despite all the tubes attached to him. As the nurse parks her right beside his bed, she watches the gentle rise and fall of his stomach. 

He’s alive. 

The nurse comes around to the side of the wheelchair and crouches down. It makes her feel like a child, but she’s too enraptured by watching Bruno breathe to pay much mind. 

“I heard that you turned down an IV earlier. Would you reconsider? He has one, see? And I could bring it to you in here, for you to wear while you’re sitting with him. I bet when he wakes up he’ll want to know that you’re letting us take care of you, too.”

When he wakes up. Because he’s going to. He’s going to be okay. And…yes. He’ll be so frustrated with her if he finds out she’s refusing any further treatment.

So, even though the thought makes her skin crawl, she sighs and mumbles, “Fine.” She’s been through far worse today already, and as long as she’s with Bruno, nothing can be that bad. 

“Great. I’ll be right back.”

The nurse leaves the room, and Kamaria grips the railing of the bed, pulling herself to her feet and gazing down at Bruno’s sleeping face. This whole time, she’s wanted to be able to touch him. To offer and to get a little bit of comfort. But Kane always kept them tied too far apart for that, all they had was their words to comfort each other. 

Now it’s finally possible, and she’s hesitating. There’s been so much unwanted touch. She’s not even sure if she can handle it. 

But she needs that reassurance that this is real, that she hasn’t dreamed up this whole day, that he’s not a hallucination that will disappear before her eyes. Slowly, she reaches out with a trembling hand and ever so lightly lays her fingers on his stubbled cheek. 

He’s warm. He’s real. Tears begin streaming down her cheeks as she strokes his skin with her thumb. 

She still doesn’t know what they are to each other, what exactly this is that she feels for him, what life will look like from now on. But right now she urgently needs to feel safe, to have him feel safe when he wakes. Gingerly, wincing at the pain since there’s no one around to see it, she climbs up onto the bed and squeezes herself in between the railing and his body, curling around his arm with her cheek on his shoulder. 

She can hear him breathing from here. He’s safe. They’re safe. Being pressed up against him feels nothing like the touch she’s been dreading, it feels…like she belongs. 

Within seconds, she’s asleep. 

#whumptober2023 #no.16 #lyric #would you lie with me and just forget the world? #gurney #flatline #original content #fic #hospital tw #noncon tw #beating tw #internal bleeding tw #mild blood tw #noncon touching tw #death mention tw #broken bones tw #police tw #collar tw #shadow of death #kamaria the assassin #bruno stenberg #brumaria #college au #lady whump #lady whumpee #dude whump #touch aversion #aftermath of torture #aftermath of noncon #cpr

[professionallydeadinside]

Dude its so fucking upsetting to know that this fucking bullet train fic is going to be the longest thing i’ve ever written and is already a strong contender for that title. Literally my longest fic is 7000 words and this thing is already at 3000 and if i can math even semi competently the first chapter alone will be at least 9000 words but probably more like this fucking fic is gonna be my legacy if i ever finish it this thing will be what my grandkids remember me for

SILAS I AM GOING THROUGH THE EXACT SAME THING. LONGEST THING IVE WRITTEN AT 19 PAGES IS THIS FUCKIGN BULLET TRAIN FIX IT FIC </3

#answered

[sunshinebunnie]

AO3 Year-in-Review 2022

Tagged by @libra-lizard and @dream-a-little-dreaam

1. What is your AO3 account?

Sunshinebunnie

2. How many words did you write total in 2022?

293,795 posted (I’m honestly floored by this…nearly 50% of all words I’ve ever posted on AO3 were written last year)

3. How many fics did you publish in 2022? How many multichapters vs oneshots?

Published: 12 (+1 podfic)  Multichapters: 8  Oneshots: 4

4. What was your longest fic? Your shortest fic?

Longest: Private Dancer (103,121)

Shortest: Sweetest Little Liar (7,291)

5. What was your most popular fic? Your least popular fic?

Most popular: Private Dancer (17,381 hits); Term Papers (542 kudos)

Least popular: Sweetest Little Liar (958 hits); Play to Win (64 kudos)

6. What fic didn’t perform as well as you thought it would?

Hmmmm….Probably Sweetest Little Liar. I actually submitted that as a Hellcheer prompt fill and it’s weird because it’s the 2nd story in my Hellcheer series and the 3rd story actually has more hits (although fewer kudos)? I think I might’ve some of that to myself because (a) I was posting during the holidays (which I feel is usually a time when there’s less reader engagement) and (b) I posted the 3rd story pretty quickly after (within a few days), so I don’t know it really had a chance to find readers. 

7. What fic performed way better than you thought it would?

Oooooo….probably Prairie Doll. You wanna talk about writing pure fucking crack, the kind of story that’s the definition of “write for yourself”???? The fact that anyone else has enjoyed that story with me floors me. lol

8. What was your favorite fic you wrote from 2022?

Hmmmm…From a story development standpoint, probably Prairie Doll because it’s really stretching my creative storytelling muscles. From a “holy shit, I can’t believe I pulled that off!!!” standpoint, I’d have to say Private Dancer. The fact that I functionally wrote a whole ass book in like 4 months blows. My. mind. 🤯😂🤯😂

9. What was your favorite fic that somebody else wrote in 2022?

You’re nucking futz if you think I’m gonna keep this to just one!!

I know Tumblr is gonna jack up my ish if I try to post them all, so here are my current Top 10 (in no particular order).

to bring you home by MissAtomicBomb – Lexi as a journalist who falls in love with Fez after she keeps finding herself at his hotel + hot smut???? What’s not to love!!!

sweet dream, saccharine by myztify – I am a Cash truther and my girl myztify keeps me fed!! Ash is the bassist of a popular hair metal/rock band and Cassie is the sexually-empowered groupie who steals his heart. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve reread this.

a thrill beyond compare by MissAtomicBomb – if you like some Dark Fexi, this is the story for you! Lexi goes on the (temporary) run with Fez after he kills Nate at the NYE party and things get hot ‘n’ heavy.

baby i just need a thug by myztify – another Cash story (with a sprinkle of Fexi). Cassie and Ash start off in a bad place here, but communication and adulting eventually prevail. Bonus points: Ash beats the shit out of Nate for disrespecting Cassie! 😍😍

this town is only gonna eat you by gigi_originally – this is a WIP but I absolutely love the story! Lexi & Cassie wind up coming to work for Kitty (Lexi as a bookkeeper, Cassie as a stripper). Lexi & Ash wind up getting super tight and Fez & Lexi develop a mutual crush on each other. This is one I always eagerly look forward to its updates!

hear me screaming, heavy breathing by myztify – this is the 1st story to baby i just need a thug. Shows how Cassie & Ash get together. Super hot and shows Cash as a bit of an investigative duo as they try to figure out whether Lexi is pregnant. 👀👀

TASTE by myfemininedivine – another WIP, but my girl is CRUSHING it!!! Each month Lexi focuses on an indulgence, and the fic charts Fexi’s developing relationship and how Fez plays into Lexi’s various desires. The descriptions and the feelings between Fexi are so beautifully described. This story makes me feral.

His veins like telephone wires by myfemininedivine – I am kicking my own ass for not downloading because it’s not on AO3 anymore. 😭😭😭😭😭It was sooooo good though. Lexi and Fez accidentally swapped phones after a run in at a club, and come to fall in love as they get to know each other through texts. 

One More Time, Steal My Breath by DeliriumsDelight7 – this is a 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥Hellcheer fic. If you like your smut kinky, consensual, and really tastefully done have I got a fic rec for you! Bonus: the chapters are suuuuuuuper long and the character development between Chrissy and Eddie is fantastic. Another fic that makes me rabid!

Dirtbag by betts – if you like your smut with a healthy dose of angst, this Hellcheer fic is gonna hit you right in the feels. This follows Eddie and Chrissy over the years after Chrissy marries Jason, but keeps coming back to Eddie as the “other man” and the emotional toll that takes on them both. 

10. Tag your friends to do this year-end fic review as well!

@myztify @myfemininedivine @tuesdayschildd

#the nicest people #sunshinebunnie psa #AO3 2022 Year in Review

[babischlong-six]

fic writer interview

name/nicknames: Vera

fandoms: oh holy shit. I am in so many discord servers and I have so many WIPs for SO MANY fandoms, but for simplicity’s sake, I’ll just mention the ones I’ve already written fic for in the past 5 years.

MDZS, Guardian/WeiLan Derivs, DMBJ, The Merciless, Star Trek.

two shots?: yeah to the head. I can’t finish a damn thing, ever. It’s either gonna be the longest one-shot you’ve ever seen, a 500 word snippet, or a massive multi-chapter work that updates every other year.

most popular multi-chapter fic: The Transmigrated Villain is Causing Minimal Trouble. It’s a MDZS fix-it, time travel crackfic. Writing it was both fun and a massive pain in the ass, but I’m glad people are liking it bc it does have its moments.

actual worst part of writing: The fact that the vague vibes and snippets of dialogue in my head won’t just splatter out onto the screen as fully formed 10k masterpieces. So, basically, the writing?

how you choose your titles: song lyrics/titles, major themes, dialogue in the fic, ask a friend and they come up with one for me

do you outline?: yeah. Only if it’s a long fic, tho. Usually just bullet points of what I need to happen in the fic, if I actually know where it’s gonna go.

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: I have no impulse control. If I have an idea, I put it down somewhere, to fall back on during a “dry spell.”

callouts @ me: FINISH YOUR DAMN FICS, BITCH!!!!

best writing traits: uhh,,, probably dialogue.

spicy tangential opinion: There needs to be more angst. Sometimes the majority of fluff feels like it was written by a middle-schooler who wants to be a therapist when they grow up.

Tagging: @gosiksmallspace @bobafvcks @godotismissingx

[bts-hyperfixation]

I posted 1,211 times in 2022

258 posts created (21%)

953 posts reblogged (79%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bts-hyperfixation

@jung-koook

@waitingforjin

@jeonjcngkook

@jjungkookislife

I tagged 265 of my posts in 2022

#bts fic - 93 posts

#bts - 79 posts

#bts smut - 71 posts

#kpop fic - 49 posts

#kpop smut - 46 posts

#namjoon - 42 posts

#jungkook - 42 posts

#jimin fic - 37 posts

#namjoon fic - 36 posts

#jungkook fic - 36 posts

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#greatful we are getting anything at all tbh but between this and the lack of tour venues they are gonna come out with its feeling sad

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

There Was Three in the Bed

After their flight gets rescheduled Y/N, Namjoon, and Seokjin have to share one bed in the airport hotel

Prompt:  "It's 3am..." "I know..."/"Lie to me." (sorry I couldn’t get the third one to fit) It Occurred to me halfway through that you may not have wanted a Y/N fic please let me know if you want me to write one without the insert, although I don’t usually so it might not be very good.

@i-love-life-sometimes​

See the full post

288 notes - Posted March 13, 2022

#4

Kinktober day 1

Namjoon - Toys

Dildo, slight degradation, exhibitionism, rimming, oral

"Come on Y/N, do you really think we need to include toys in our sex life?" Namjoon eyes the dildo in your hand apprehensively.

"I don't think we need to Joonie, I just think it'll be fun... but if it makes you uncomfortable and insecure we don't have to." You reassure him, reaching to put your favourite toy back in its drawer.

See the full post

302 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

#3

Kinktober final masterlist

See the full post

368 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

#2

Kinktober Day 10

JinKook - Pregnancy/Breeding

Pregnancy, Threesome, Thruple, Breeding, Cumstuffing

"Wouldn't she look so pretty pregnant Hyung," Jungkook asks Jin. 

The elder man pets Jungkook's hair, watching as the young idol kisses every inch of your stomach. Jin sits up against the headboard of your double bed, your head in his lap as you lay spread out with Jungkook between your legs.

"She always looks pretty Kookie." 

He gazes down at you lovingly, enjoying the way your face twists as Jungkook's fingers push deep inside of you.

See the full post

373 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Kinktober day 7

Jimin and tae aren't written yet so we are skipping forward

Jungkook - cockwarming

Fluffy cockwarming

“Baby? You home?” you pause your headphones and listen properly, your ears seem to be playing tricks on you. Taunting you with the promise of your boyfriend returning home early. The group was due to have at least two more weeks of press junkets abroad. Just as you’re about to press play, he calls out to you again. “Y/N? Please be home.” The call trails off as he questions his potentially wasted journey. 

Jungkook opens the door just as you scramble off the bed. His eyes meet yours and he refuses to hesitate another moment, throwing off his backpack as he launches himself across the room at you. He uses the momentum to swing you around before falling back onto the bed with you in his arms.

“Missed you.” He murmurs into your neck as he snuggles close. He inhales deeply, committing the smell of your perfume back into his memory. He squeezes so tight all the air escapes from your lungs. “I’m never going on tour without you, ever again.” He litters kisses across everywhere he can reach.

“I missed you too Kookie.” You giggle, the kisses and his barely there stubble tickling. 

“I mean it, quit your job! I’m not doing that again!” He pulls away and fixes you with his best doe eyes and pout.

“I’ve told you Kook, I’m not quitting my job to follow my boyfriend around the world as he gets screamed at by hundreds of girls.” You roll your eyes and lean in to kiss the pout away. He gladly accepts the peck.

“Then don't. Quit your job to follow your husband around the world instead.” He smirks suggestively, while you shake your head assuming he’s joking, right up until the point he pulls the red satin box from his pocket and slips down onto the floor. 

“Tell me you’re joking?” You gape at the idol on one knee. 

“Nope came back special. Couldn’t wait any longer, PD nim told the press `I'm not well', something about me annoying everyone too much.” He shakes his head to clear the thought and opens the box to reveal an ornate gemstone lay in silver. “Y/N tell me you’ll marry me, please.” You stare at him completely caught off guard. You’d known for a long time now that Jungkook was the one for you, but you were never quite sure he felt the same way.

He lived too quickly, too freely. You’d just assumed you would be with him until he entered the next phase of his life. A willing blip in his supernova. You blinked at him in disbelief as he fidgeted anxiously. He blinked back looking alarmingly similar to the rabbit he was often compared to.

“Is this a no?” He whispers, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. 

“No! I mean yes….” He’s about to snap the ring box shut defeated as you take a deep breath. You reach out for the ring before he can take it away from you, placing the delicate jewellery on your left hand. “Jungkook, I’d love to marry you.” You reach out and cup his chin, admiring how the ring glitters as you move it under the light. You use the leverage to pull him back up to you, kissing him deeply and dragging him back on to the bed with you. 

You reach up and wipe the tears from his eyes, as more well up in your own. He laughs as he reaches out to mimic your actions. When it fails and you’re both still crying he pulls you close and squeezes as if you’ll float away the second he lets go. You wrap your legs around his waist and pull him as close as physically possible but it still doesn’t feel close enough. You claw at his hoodie, pulling it until he lets you drag it over his head. You throw your own shirt across the room and immediately curl back into him, whining when the skin on skin contact still feels too far away.

“Missed you, need you closer.” You mumble against him.

 He nods in agreement, clearly feeling the same way.

“Need to feel you around me.” His voice is raspy as he tugs at the zip on your jeans. “Can you cock warm me baby, just need to be inside you.” You climb off of him just long enough for you both to discard your bottoms. He shuffles up the bed, lying back against your pillow and waits for you to be ready. Steadily you lower yourself down on to his cock, moaning as you force yourself down completely unprepared. As soon as you're comfortable you lie forwards onto your fiancé’s chest.

He plays idly with your hair as you indulge in the feeling of him. After a while he begins humming to you, a medley of every wedding song he knows just for you as you drift off to sleep in his lap.

Masterlist

857 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #bts fic

[hyuukais]

I posted 1,185 times in 2022

That's 780 more posts than 2021!

99 posts created (8%)

1,086 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dingdongyouarewrong

@gamerwoo

@nevoono

@i6wonsz

@crispy-chan

I tagged 465 of my posts in 2022

#ace talks - 400 posts

#- txt talks 🤍 - 34 posts

#- skz talks 🤍 - 25 posts

#srb - 20 posts

#- uquiz 🤍 - 18 posts

#ace rec’s ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ - 17 posts

#kpop imagines - 16 posts

#- moots &lt;3 - 14 posts

#ficscafe - 14 posts

#matchmaker event ! - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i’ve seen teens especially on tiktok talk about how gen z is gonna rule the world and take over and we’re so strong with our voices we can

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

9:00 PM

Word Count: 263

Genre: Riki x reader, fluff

Warnings: goes from 100-0 real quick so honestly nothing, but it starts off with explosions

Author: I want build legos with him :( man i just want someone to build legos and cuddle with :(((( i’m so lonely 💀 and thank you @seung-scrittore for beta reading :D

See the full post

276 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

#4

Our Love In Dandelions

The day you two met, you made a wish on a dandelion. Today, the eve of your 21st birthday, you find yourself making that wish again.

Word count: 3.0k

Genre: Beomgyu x reader, soulmate au!, childhood friends-to-lovers au!, fluff, angst

Warnings: language

Author: Thank you so much @sunlightwoo for beta reading ! this was also how i realized that, at this point, the only fics i have written for gyu are childhood friends to lovers but it just works so well for him idk. anyways happy birthday to this special lad &lt;3

Playlist: here

Kids can be ruthless. In a time before you really develop a filter, words come and go as they please. Be it the coldest insults a 5-year-old can muster or the weirdest questions on planet earth, things are said without much care. Having said that, kindergarten could be the worst place ever sometimes. At least that seemed to be the truth for the young boy you saw curled into himself across the playground. He sat at the edge of the primary play structure, far away from everyone else running around on the field. Head tucked into his knees; his body growing smaller as he pulled tighter and tighter into his chest. You had barely begun to learn the names or faces of your classmates, but you recognized the small yellow sweater clinging to his frame. Your mind recalled a little boy in your class wearing something similar today; he’d been extremely energetic during introductions.

He must be that boy.

Moving closer, something else in your little brain clicked at the soft shaking of his shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

The boy looked up at you. His eyes were glassy, cheeks red and puffy. He seemed so fragile, on the verge of tears. Meeting your eyes, he quickly wiped at the tear tracks marking his face.

“I-I’m fine.” The small words stuck to his throat.

Looking at his frame, shaking and alone, you decided to sit next to him, “But you’re crying.”

His mouth remained closed but he couldn’t turn to look at you.

“Why are you crying?”

“I-I wanted to go play w-with them, b-but they said I wasn’t allowed to.”

“Oh…well, you can play with me. If you want.”

The boy's soft sniffles silenced as he turned to you. “Huh?”

“Come on!” All of a sudden, his hand was in yours as you pulled him along behind you. Despite initial surprise he held, as you dragged him from game to game, the happy little boy you initially remembered surfaced once again. The two of you ran and jumped and played for what seemed like forever, off in your own little world. But, as recess slowly neared its end, so did your small pocket of joy.

Tired from all of your running, you two sat side by side in the grass.

“Look! Dandelions!” His tiny fingers plucked up a fuzzy, white ball from dirt before puffing out all the air in his lungs. Bunches of white fuzz broke apart, taking flight on their own.

“Whoa! How’d you do that!?”

“You just pick them up and blow on it, see?” He repeated his actions sending another flurry of white into the sky, “My mommy says if you make a wish while blowing, it’ll come true!”

“Really!?”

“Yep! My mommy is never wrong.”

“I wanna try!” You reached forward to the grass, fumbling around with the stem before pulling it out. Following all of his instructions, you take a deep breath before letting it all go. The seeds scatter across your vision and you quickly close your eyes to make your silent wish. When you opened them up, you found the boy watching you intently.

“What did you wish for?”

“I wish that we’ll play together every day and be best friends forever!”

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291 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

#3

ASKING THE HH UNIT TO BUY PADS FOR YOU

Genre: SVT Hip Hop unit x afab! reader, fluff, comedy (?), smau

Warnings: language, discussion of periods (obviously), mentions of pregnancy and blood/bleeding (not excessive tho), no pronouns/gendered terms used for reader though they are implied afab

Author: lol idk 😎 posting this because i don’t want it in my drafts anymore ☝️

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493 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

#2

Out Of Ten

rating the things they “accidentally” leave at your apartment

Word count: 435

Genre: TXT x Reader, headcanon, fluff

Warnings: yeonjun’s feels kinda suggestive at the end but none tbh, pg

Author: come get y’all juice 🧃

See the full post

538 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Happy Birthday

TXT wishing you a happy birthday!

Genre: TXT x Reader, SMAU, slice of life, comedy

Warnings: Language, suggestive jokes and innuendos, pg-13

Author: it’s my birthday and i decided to just put out something small just cause,,,but yay i’m older 🫡

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748 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #oh my god #lol #i didn’t post a lot of fics this year but i’m so happy with reception on the ones i did #thank you all for a wonderful year here at hyuukais inc

[selkiefinalist]

weekly freakout: 8.26 edition (wherein i feel real bad for myself for no reason)

friends i have to find some more effective way of handling the crippling anxiety of writing this fic. or a way to balance what still needs to be done against my desire for it to be finished, and come to terms with the fact that it’s going to take as long as it takes, regardless of my hope that it would be done/published in early october.

so here’s where we are. it’s currently the longest thing i’ve ever written. by the time it’s done, i have this fear that it will just be this wild mess, tangled vines dangling off a wrecked bridge. there’s so much still to rough out, if i’m going to do it justice. can i have that done in the next five days? i don’t know. I wanted to have the whole month of september for editing, which felt sooooo luxurious as a concept. and now i’m sure that i’ll still be drafting while editing, which is fine - it’s fine. it’s just not how i envisioned it or whatever.

and idk. i’m committed now to the main concepts - how not? and just determined to finish as-is. but, like. what if the premise sucks. the world-building is so light, i don’t know if I’m gonna pull it off.

and also also. what if the writing also sucks? i keep swinging between very different styles and then trying to hit that sweet middleground of show versus tell, i always have this impulse to have so much subtext but i never know if it’s too much, what if i haven’t left the breadcrumbs placed where the birds can even find them? idk a hallmark of fic is often openly confronting pretty sweeping emotions or emotional scenes and i’m like: what if these emotions happened but the only way you know is because someone gently touched a button on their coat as the last light slipped from the sky or whatever.

so then i’ll end up with 50k (60? please no, god help me) of fic where the core concepts suck, where the structure sucks, and where the writing also sucks, six months of writing down the drain!! all that time i could have been doing literally anything else. like cleaning the fish tank. running. sleeping.

and also this is supposed to be fun. an enjoyable process. I know it’s part of growth or getting better, honing the skills or whatever. but what if instead of growth and getting better, i just…don’t? what then ahahahahahahahahaha

okay anyway. currently sitting at 38k and part of my despair is i thought the rough draft would come in around 40k and i am now at a point where i have to acknowledge that there’s a lot of writing left, and i write SO SLOWLY right now that i can’t just bang out an extra 10k in two weeks, like that’s another month almost of effort. someone send me that ‘girl help i am once again attempting things above my skill level’ post, i am its living embodiment right now, despair despair blah blah.

#avert your eyes fth #what is writing? #i don’t know her #hockey rpf #weekly freakout

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

IK I JUST POSTED ABT THIS BUT I’M PROBABLY GONNA FINISH PT. 3 OF YCCF IN THE MEXT FEW DAYS 👹👹👹👹👹 I’M SO EXCITED THIS IS THE LONGEST FIC I’VE EVER WRITTEN

AHHHHHHH YES IM SO EXCITED OH MY GOD!!!!!!! ITS LEGIT ONE OF MY FAVORITE FICS IVE EVER READ AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW IT ENDS AND WHAT HAPPENS TO MY POOR POOR GHOULIE OH MY GOD

IM ACTUALLY SO HYPED WATCH ME THROW A PARTY OR SOMETHING WHEN PART THREE DROPS. IM GONNA MAKE A CAKE OR SOME SHIT TO CELEBRATE

#asks

[shrinkthisviolet]

AO3 asks 3,6,19,24 and 29

3: What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Definitely i still love you (i promise). No exaggeration, I’ve been working on that nearly the entire year, ever since roughly March. Summer was busier than expected, so I didn’t get as much writing done as I thought…and I was committed to finishing writing it this year, starting to post it. And, thankfully, it seems like it’ll be posted in its entirety by the end of this year too! It’s also the longest multichap I’ve ever written 😅 and…not quite the angstiest/saddest, but close.

6: Favorite title you used

come in, the water is(n’t) fine! Words like is/isn’t, was/wasn’t, would/wouldn’t, can/can’t, etc are so fun because you can twist the lyric for your own purposes in a fic :D and this fic in particular is one of my favorites

(also, I straight-up forgot I wrote that this year?? Go me 😅)

19: What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

Westallen!! I miss them, I wanna write something for them. I’ve written a few fills here and there, and a small ficlet here, but I wanna write a proper fic for them.

Also, platonically, Savitar & Morgan, if I can make it to the s3 arc next year. I’m sooo excited to start writing for them…y’all have no idea. And Jesse & Morgan, since I've only just scratched the surface of their dynamic

And Barry & Morgan ofc, I’m excited to write more about them and explore their dynamic further, but that’s just always true tbh. Still...as with Jesse & Morgan, we've only scratched the surface of Barry & Morgan!

24: Did you write any gifts this year?

I did! i hate to look at your face (and know that you’re feeling different) and time was(n’t) in our favor, both for ohsalamanders as a two-part birthday present (only one of those was posted on her actual birthday tho 😅 but it's the thought that counts)

One of these (the latter, more specifically) kicks off the “childhood friends AU”, which I’m absolutely in love with. It’s gonna be so fun :D and for once, I don’t mean that as code for “it’s gonna break your hearts”, because although it will still have angst, it will have less angst than the main AU! Easy enough to guess why, I think.

(And it's sooo Barry&Morgan-centric...surprising no one, I'm sure 😅 it's an entire AU about them, that's how obsessed with them I am)

29: Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

"Barry!” Mom screamed, and someone close to his heart—Jesse, he realized—was screaming too, and then Dad had him by the shoulders and urged, “Run, Barry, run!” and then gold lightning surrounded him, and then… Then he was outside, miles away from home.”

~time was(n’t) in our favor

As established, I love Barry&Morgan…and writing baby Jesse Morgan as being “close to [Barry’s] heart” literally and figuratively (because, ofc, he’s holding her in his arms right now) made me so emotional 🥺

ao3 wrapped!

#ao3 wrapped ask game #brotp: i know my hero #childhood friends au #morgan wells au #the flash #star wars #savitar & morgan #(not a lot in that tag yet BUT there will be! eventually)

[futureseaempress]

WIP Weekend Tag Game

I got tagged by @hypnostheory tyty bb

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more). (If you're an artist or other non-fic fandom creator, questions can be found here!)

1. WIP List:

okay bear with me theres a bunch

DAVEKAT -the cowboy one -the waho one and/or the office one -first date/Nastygum -tire trouble part two -the nanny au -the sweet home alabama au -more Silver paint CODA -glory -some princes don’t become kings

FIRST PRINCE -the soulmates au -the omegaverse au -the actor au -the baby one -the hockey one -threes giving - bachelor party -the autism/self expression one

TMA -that last chapter of fanning the flame that was supposed to be about agnes and Jack and I just never fucking wrote anything for it

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

here in search of your glory for sure

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

so if i ever finish it more silver paint is bound to be the longest

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

oooo i love writing the kid fic echoed through my mind is rlly fun tbh i like the drama and doing something ive never written before is rlly fun

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

ALL OF THEM but defo the sweet home alabama au bc i think about it allll the time

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

-the threesome one bc I have a rlly good idea for it but I’m convinced I’m gonna fall short bc I want it to be kind of long and I struggle with that

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

hya usually reads my stuff but uhhh the soulmate au for sure not bc of anything bad but bc it’s almost too quick and I need someone to help me like slow down and set the mood

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

ALL OF THEM ACTUALY i kinda just black out and start typing jibberish when i get too stuck and usually it works itself out

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

oh uh none of them. i suppose I’m gonna cheat and say the kid fic bc I’m playing with some characters who exist in name only and like I’ve written Philips kids as getting along with Shaan & Zahra’s and his youngest behave like Henry and Bea and June has a little girl who is just like Alex and Alex is going to have a daughter who is just like June

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

i'm gonna say the actor au but thats just cause i have plans

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

ooo I don’t do a lot of angst but I’m gonna say the threesome bc Alex is a Dingus in that one BUT MAYBE HOCKEY BC ITS SAD FOR OSCAR AND ARTHUR

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

ummmmmmmm. I’m gonna say. The omegaverse one actually it blends canon and fantasy rlly well

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

glory. the next chapter has like bits from my favorite concert stuff and I love it

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

I wanna say Glory but it could rlly go for any of them I think about them kind of all the time

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

the threesome one but that’s bc the idea is rlly good and I want to pull it off college aus are my favorite & should be easy cause I lived in a dorm from age 16-21 but still

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

ummmmm no? mb? I think about them before bed to get to sleep tho

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

so I like putting different venues of communication in my fic it’s kind of my favorite thing to add and I like writing emotional break downs where the text changes and the vibe becomes rlly frantic

but complexities is a hard stone to lift maybe the hockey one bc they aren’t together yet? and I mostly write established stuff? or the omegaverse one for the same reason

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

probs the threesome but that’s just bc hya and I had fun telling each other about it

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

NO LOL— maybe I should write something from Pez or Nora’s perspective for the threesome fic but that’s kind of cheating maybe Liam will get a chapter for funnies

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

My college au has a fight over the custody of Nora’s Keurig.

I’m not going to be tagging anyone bc I’m dreadfully late but if anyone wants to do it bc they saw it here they should!

[frostedfaves]

Dark Paradise

Masterlist

Pairing: dark!WandaNat x fem!reader

Summary: You meet the infamous Avengers on spring break with your best friend Peter, and two of them seem to adore you more than expected. Requested here by my lovely 🐞anon.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY!!! dark themes, manipulation, mind control, blackmailing, age gap (reader is 21), dubcon (saying this just to be safe because Wanda uses her powers for evil a lot here), smut: oral, fingering, penetration/sex toy use, voyeurism (kinda), edging, overstimulation (if I forgot something please let me know!)

A/N: hi this is 6k words, which is the longest single fic I’ve ever written/posted here haha. also the end is not technically the end, if you know what I mean. anyway this took forever to write so enjoy this super far from canon fic and please tell me what you thought!! (also if you’re on my taglist and you weren’t tagged it’s because your age wasn’t in your bio)

-

“Here, let me take that for you,” Peter offers when he notices you headed toward the car, and you hand your suitcase to him with a smile.

“Thanks, P.”

You close the car door behind you after getting in on the passenger side, instantly reaching for his phone resting on the dashboard once you were buckled in. The two of you had an unspoken rule that you controlled the music whenever you traveled together, so his library was filled with various playlists you’d created simply because you didn’t trust him not to listen to the same five songs for the rest of his life.

“This is different,” Peter comments as he gets in on the driver’s side and catches the opening notes to an upbeat song. “I thought you were going to go with something calmer to help you sleep, like you usually do.”

“Well, I’m not usually going to meet the Avengers, so I’m too nervous to sleep.” You turn to pout at him as he drives off. “Is it too late to cancel?”

“Don’t even think about it. If I show up without you, everyone will think you’re imaginary.”

“Do they think you can’t make any friends outside of Ned?” you question as you open a bottle of water. “Because they’re not wrong.”

“I can make friends!” Peter whines and a quiet snorting sound escapes you. 

“You can’t use me as an example.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re not actually friends.”

He picks up on your teasing nature and rolls his eyes, causing you to laugh as you lean back and settle into your seat more. You had well over three hours to stress about spending a week with the world’s most popular superheroes, and you’d rather be comfortable while you do so.

-

“Wake up, we’re here!”

Your eyes fly open at the sound of Peter’s voice, and any of the nerves that left long enough to let you sleep made a U-turn and hit you again, full force. Sitting up straight in the seat, you practice breathing properly while stretching and taking a look around as he pulls into the garage.

“Are you okay?” Peter asks once he parks, placing a hand over yours as he meets your gaze and you smile.

“I’ll be fine, P. I’m not gonna miss out on hanging out with you just because your super family is super intimidating.”

“Good. Besides, it won’t even be that bad! I’m willing to bet $1 million that they’ll love you.”

“I appreciate your optimism,” you tell him as the two of you get out of the car. “But you’re going to regret that bet when I use your money to retire early in some faraway rural town.”

Peter carried both suitcases as you made your way to an elevator, and you jumped when you suddenly heard a male voice.

“Welcome, Mr. Parker and Ms. L/N.”

“What is that?” you questioned as you faced Peter with wide eyes and he chuckled. 

“You’re hearing Jarvis, Mr. Stark’s AI. Hey Jarvis, can you take us to the common room, please?”

“Right away, Mr. Parker.”

“This is so cool,” you comment as you look around the suddenly moving elevator. “How does it know my name?”

“Knowing everything is kind of its job, I guess.”

“Underoos!” a voice calls as soon as the doors open, quickly revealing itself to belong to Tony Stark as his gaze lands on you next. “So she is real.”

“I told you!” Peter defends as you step off the elevator together. “Mr. Stark, this is Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you, kid,” Tony greets you with a shake of your hand. “I’m glad he found you. I was starting to worry that he’d build a robot to spend the rest of his life with.”

“I’m just his best friend, so it’s still possible.”

“Is this your friend, Peter?” Steve cuts off Peter’s response as he enters the room, moving to shake your hand next. “I’m Steve. Nice to meet you.”

“Okay, I’m going to show her to our rooms and then we’ll be back for dinner,” Peter tells everyone once you’d been introduced to Pepper, Bruce and Clint as well, and you’re about to head for the elevator again when someone interrupts.

“How about we take her down to her room instead?”

Your eyes widen as you watch none other than Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff enter the room hand in hand. Natasha’s hair seemed much longer than the last time she’d been in the public eye, but her all-knowing smirk was just the same and her green eyes were even more piercing in person. You noticed a bit of red glowing in Wanda’s eyes, which faded as she probably realized you’d seen, and you couldn’t help but wonder if that meant she hated you already.

“I know what you’re up to, Red.” Tony seemed accusatory as he pointed a finger at the pair. “You can’t bribe her into helping you cheat tonight.”

“Maybe I planned on giving her tips for surviving this testosterone filled tower.” 

Natasha steps forward and grabs your hand with her free one, and with a flick of her wrist, Wanda has your suitcase floating in front of you as they lead you into the elevator.

“Sorry to whisk you away like that,” Wanda apologizes as the doors close with her head tilted to see you past Natasha. “We’re just excited to meet a new woman here.”

“No, it’s okay!” you insist breathlessly, your nerves slowly returning as Natasha lightly squeezes your hand. “I’m actually really excited to meet the two of you.”

“You know who we are?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that I know you personally, but I know that you’re one of the original team members.” You make eye contact briefly with Natasha before turning to Wanda. “And because the news stations somehow get ahold of everything, I know you joined after you helped everyone stop Ultron before he could create that indestructible body and destroy the world.”

“Yes, that’s true. Although I wish I could’ve saved my brother, too.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you lost him...or that you even had a brother.”

“It’s okay,” Wanda assures you with a smile as she lets go of Natasha, shifting to the other side of the elevator to grab your free hand. “I asked Fury to keep Pietro a secret because I didn’t want to see or hear any negative opinions from people that never even met him.”

“And we have plenty of time to get to know each other,” Natasha chimes in as the doors open to reveal a new setting. “This is our floor. We set up a spare bedroom here so we can spend time together away from the boys...when you’re not with Peter, of course.”

“Yeah, that’d be great!” 

They lead you past their living room and kitchen, and you shamelessly admire the simple decor with little personal touches spread about. Turning into a hallway, Natasha walks ahead of you and Wanda to open a door to a bedroom.

“What do you think?” she asks with a smile that widens upon seeing your expression. “I’m guessing it’s good, then.”

“It’s perfect!” you cry out as you walk past to enter the room, immediately noticing the eggshell colored walls trimmed with your favorite color along the borders. “Wow, this is four times the size of a normal bedroom. Wait a minute.”

“Do you like it?” Wanda asks when she sees you pick up the glass figurine on the nightstand. “Peter mentioned your love of this animal and I have a whole collection of them from different places.”

“Like it? I love it! I have the same one in my dorm room!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I can get you a different one.” She steps forward as she brings your suitcase to the floor beside the bed and you hug the small object close to your chest. 

“Like I said, it’s perfect,” you assure her with a grin, which brings one to her own face.

“Well, I’m glad you’re happy with the set up. When you’re ready to head up to dinner, we’ll be waiting by the elevator. Also, if you ever need anything, our room is right across the hall.”

Natasha points to the closed door a few feet away, and you acknowledge her statement with a nod before they leave the room, closing your door nearly all the way behind them. You flop down on the bed with a dreamy sigh as you gaze up at the ceiling with a night sky painted on it.

“I don’t think I’ll ever want to leave this place.”

-

On the elevator ride up to join everyone for dinner, Natasha and Wanda take turns asking you questions about your classes and any friends you’d made, what you liked to do when you weren’t studying. You had to admit that the level of interest they had with you was shocking but flattering, especially when they insisted you sit between them at the table to continue your conversation.

“You don’t seem to be nervous anymore,” Peter acknowledges as you sit down, and Wanda faces you immediately.

“Were you nervous about meeting us?”

“Well, yeah,” you answer timidly, avoiding catching anyone’s curious glances by directing a glare toward Peter. “You might be normal people in here, but to the rest of the world, you’re portrayed as powerful and untouchable beings.”

“Maybe when they’re not talking about how much damage we’ve caused,” Bruce mumbles under his breath as the elevator doors opened again. 

“I’m here, I’m here!” a voice calls as footsteps hurry toward the dining area, and Sam Wilson is revealed as he rounds the corner. “Sorry, I’m late. I was--”

“On a date, we know. You only told us that 500 times.”

“Don’t be jealous, old man. You’re married.” Sam grins at Clint as he sits next to him before his attention turns to you. “Do we have a newbie?”

“No, Mr. Wilson. This is my best friend, Y/N.”

“Call me Sam, kid.” He smiles at you as he goes for his silverware, and you’re just about to acknowledge him when his expression suddenly turns serious. “I’m sorry. You’re not a kid. You’re an independent and capable adult, and I should address you as such.”

“What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know.” Sam clears his throat and shakes his head as if he was clearing his mind. “I just suddenly felt the need to correct myself…You have any powers we should know about, Y/N?”

“No!” you quickly respond with widened eyes. “I wasn’t going to say anything, actually. I’m pretty used to older people calling me kid by now.”

From your left side, Natasha asks Clint to recall an embarrassing tale for you and the table livens up again, but you can’t seem to move past the unsettling way Sam shifted gears from calm and casual to uptight and disciplined. The image stayed with you through the rest of dinner even after he seemed to fully recover, until dishes were cleared away and replaced with games, and you suddenly had a lot more to focus on.

“I just don’t think it’s fair that he gets to be on your team again when I haven’t had him once.”

“Is anything fair with the guy who could use his personalized AI to cheat for him?”

“Could I do that? Yes. But have I done that? Maybe.”

“Wanna grab some fresh air with us?” Natasha suddenly asks you, causing you to frown.

“Aren’t we about to play another game?”

“It’ll take them another half hour before they finally decide something,” Wanda assures you as her fingers thread through yours gently. “We have plenty of time, and they won’t even notice we’re gone.”

They lead you by the hand to the elevator once more, going up a few floors before leading you out onto a balcony. Because you were so much higher than most of the surrounding buildings, there was an incredible view of the sun that was probably minutes away from disappearing to the other side of the world. The air is chillier than when you’d arrived, but you had to admit that standing in the cool breeze is worth a few goosebumps on your skin. Your hands are released as you reach a bench near the ledge, and you climb over it to sit as the other two women settle on either side of you.

“Why did Peter decide to share his secret with you?”

“Technically he didn’t,” you recall with a laugh. “He’d gone out to deal with something that activated his spider sense or whatever and I came to his dorm room to sleep after an exam because I was too tired to walk all the way to my place. Anyway, I walk in at the same time he’s coming back in through the window, and I swear we both sat there for a full two minutes before either of us could think of anything to say.”

“It’s still very nice of you to keep such a big secret for him,” Natasha praises, and your laughter quiets down as you take in her words.

“I guess I just know what it feels like to not want your life to change drastically because of one thing.” Your gaze shifts between the women for a moment. “That reminds me, I wanted to ask--”

“Wait, look at this!” Wanda quickly cuts you off with an enthusiastic grin. “You’re about to witness one of my favorite things about living here.”

She directs you to lean over and look at the streets as the sun finally disappears over the horizon, and you can’t help the small gasp that escapes you. Street lights begin turning on at what seems to be the center of the city and quickly spreading, increasing the radius of well-lit neighborhoods by the second. It was a mesmerizing sight that--until every lamp was on--nearly made you forget the question you were building toward.

“That was so cool!” you express honestly before clearing your throat awkwardly. “So I wanted to ask if the two of you were dating...or in a relationship or whatever. I mean, I don’t want to assume anything of course, just wondering because you share a room and floor, and you seem to be really into holding hands.”

“Well, I’d never really been into holding hands or a lot of other forms of affection before I met Wanda, but she seemed to flip some switch inside of me.” Natasha admitted with a bashful chuckle as she glanced at Wanda before turning to study you. “And your hands are so perfect to hold.”

“To answer your question, we are together.” Wanda rests a hand on your thigh and casts a sweet smile in your direction when you face her again. “Natasha was the first to give me a chance after everything with Ultron, and initially I thought I was just feeling grateful to receive some type of positive attention from someone other than Pietro. It wasn’t until Tash called me out on staring at her lips that I realized I wanted more than friendship.”

“The only reason I did was to confirm she was feeling the same things I’d finally come to terms with myself.” Natasha chuckles as Wanda sends over a bit of red mist to squeeze her own thigh. “What about you, love?”

“What about me?”

“Do you think you’re feeling more than friendship for Peter?”

“Oh no,” you quickly denied with a chuckle. “He’s the perfect example of a great boyfriend, but not my boyfriend. Plus I’d rather not have the same experience as MJ did.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, the ‘close friends to a relationship that ends with each person pretending the other doesn’t exist’ experience. I’d rather not.”

“Yeah, that does sound messy,” Natasha sighs as she subtly rests her hand on your other thigh. “So you’re not looking for a great boyfriend. What are you looking for then?”

“Nothing really, at least until I finish school, but having a girlfriend would be nice. I’d like to be with someone that respects me and can take care of themselves when I’m not around, because I tried the ‘caring for someone’ thing and it sucks when they don’t put in the same effort that you do.”

“Maybe you should try someone older, more mature,” Natasha suggests as she shifts to squeeze your knee lightly, and you start to feel a bit nervous about where she’s going with this. “Maybe two people that already have their shit together and would go to the ends of the earth to please you.”

“Okay, um…” You push both of their hands away with a bit of difficulty. “You both seem great and you’re incredibly attractive, but I’m not really interested.”

“Don’t worry about it, detka.” Natasha pushes your shoulder down as you try to get up, and Wanda cups your cheek with her hand.

“You may not be interested now…” She stands with Natasha and leans in to kiss your forehead, letting her lips linger on your skin as she continues. “But you will be.”

She pulls away and winks before lacing her fingers through Natasha’s as they leave the balcony, and you gasp in air as the tension they’d built seems to exit behind them. You finally decide to head back once you’ve taken a few minutes to catch your breath and calm your shaking limbs, but you wonder how long the calm will truly last.

-

You found yourself waking up suddenly and practically flying into a sitting position as if someone had pulled you up, but luckily the room is empty. You sit for a moment to catch your breath and survey your surroundings to assure you’re truly alone, and you notice your door is cracked right before you hear an unidentifiable sound.

“Fuck.”

Despite every fiber of your being screaming at you as one would do to a character in a horror film, you decide to climb out of bed to investigate what you were hearing, justifying your actions with the excuse of seeing if your floor-mates were in danger, as if you could save them. A few seconds after opening your door fully and peeking out made you realize that they were more than okay.

“Fuck! Right there, please don’t stop.”

“Such a dirty mouth, malyshka.”

You’re quick to return the door to its cracked position, leaning against the nearby wall with wide eyes as you attempt to process the image across the hall. The bedroom door sits wide open, giving you the chance to examine every inch of bare skin of the two women spread across the bed, Wanda resting on her arched back with her hands in Natasha’s red hair buried between her legs. Her moans seem to raise in volume, pitch and frequency as she’s brought closer and closer to the edge, and you ignore the warm feeling in your lower abdomen as you hurry back to bed and throw a pillow over your exposed ear.

-

“Good morning.”

Your free hand quickly shoots upward to catch your water glass as it slipped through your fingers in your moment of shock, and you try not to make a deal of hearing two sets of footsteps headed toward the kitchen.

“How’d you sleep last night? I know how scary it can be to rest your eyes in a new place.”

“I think I did pretty well,” you answer quietly as you step away from the fridge and lean against a section of the counter that faces out into the rest of the room. “The bed’s really nice.”

“You’re lying,” Wanda accuses as she crosses the room, eyes turning red and hands lifting toward your face.

“What are you--”

“Couldn’t sleep because of us, right?” She chuckles when you go limp under her touch, and Natasha ducks between the two of you to save your glass for the second time. “Did you enjoy hearing us that much?”

“You did sound really good,” you tell her with a drowsy smile as she pins you against the counter to keep you from falling.

“I bet you wish you were in my place, don’t you?” Her tone is light and teasing at first, becoming a bit stern as she shifts to push her thigh between your legs and you instantly roll your hips against the pressure. “Or maybe you want to taste me while Natasha fucks you?”

“No.”

“No?!” she fires back immediately, leaving a red mist around your temples as she grabs your waist with both hands to keep you grinding against her. “You mean you don’t want to cum right now?”

“Well, now that you mention it…”

A breathy moan escapes you as your eyes flutter closed, and if your head wasn’t being forcefully held in place, it would’ve tipped backward. You feel what must be Natasha’s fingertips grazing along your jaw and tracing a line down the side of your neck and toward your shoulder, repeating the gentle motion as goosebumps appeared all over the exposed skin.

“Is everyone decent?”

The fog behind your eyes seems to clear in seconds, and you blink in confusion when you open your eyes to see Natasha and Wanda making coffee nearby. You try to recall even coming into the kitchen, but everything from the moment you stepped into the bathroom to get ready is a blur, so you shake your head and reach for your glass of water on the counter as Natasha responds.

“Come in, Peter.”

“Morning, everyone,” Peter greets cheerfully as he enters the kitchen, his grin falling when his eyes land on you. “Are you okay?”

You open your mouth with the full intention of telling him that you are not okay, not when you were missing at least an hour of memory, and bits of last night were slipping away from you too. But before you could speak, a cold feeling seems to pass through the back of your skull to slip into your brain, and a switch flips.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” you respond with a chuckle. “You worry too much, spiderling.”

“The world’s a stressful place,” he grumbles when you playfully ruffle his hair. “Anyway, are you ready to go soon?”

“Where are you headed?” Natasha quickly asks with a frown. “Y/N hasn’t even had breakfast yet.”

“We’re meeting Aunt May, so we’ll eat with her.”

“I just have to grab my bag,” you explain before heading down the hall to your temporary room, feeling the chilly sensation leaving you as you get further away from the kitchen, and it thankfully doesn’t return when you head back. “Ready.”

“Have fun!” Natasha calls as Peter heads for the elevator again, quickly grabbing your wrist once he’s out of sight. “See you tonight, printsessa.”

Her hand quickly shifts to grip the back of your neck as she leans in to kiss your cheek, and the two women are wearing sweet smiles as you turn away from them to catch up with Peter, attempting to shake the shell-shocked expression from your features.

“You sure you’re good?”

“I’m fine,” you insist as the doors close, in hopes that you really would be fine.

-

Meeting Peter’s aunt was much more of a pleasant experience than you expected, and it was obvious she adored you by the way she spoke to you, although part of you felt she was just happy Peter had more people around to love him. Your day was cut a bit short when MJ unexpectedly approached Peter, requesting to talk to him, and Aunt May offered to drive you back to the tower so you both could escape that awkward mess of a conversation.

“It was so great to meet you today,” you tell her with a grin as you take off your seatbelt.

“Likewise, honey. You have my number so just call me if you ever need anything, okay?”

She pulls you into a hug over the middle console and you thank her again for the ride as you get out of the car, trying not to seem too nervous when you notice Natasha and Wanda standing in the lobby. Your plan was to walk past them without speaking, but you should’ve known that wouldn’t work.

“Why was she hugging you?” Natasha asks coldly as you enter the building and you sigh.

“She was just saying goodbye--wait. Why am I explaining myself to you?”

You keep walking until they’re no longer in your peripheral, stopping abruptly as a red mist surrounds your legs, and your eye-rolling is cut short when Wanda appears in front of you and grabs your chin harshly.

“If Tash asks you a question, you answer.”

“Without attitude,” Natasha adds, which makes you want to roll your eyes again.

“Sorry, I didn’t get the rules handbook when I arrived. Can I go now?”

“You know what?” Wanda cuts off Natasha’s angry response with a smirk. “You can go.”

The red mist surrounding you disappeared, and despite the suspicious feeling that washed over you, you continued on toward the elevator with your head held high. You refused to let them get to you.

-

It was subtle at first. A slight tingling between your legs that you couldn’t seem to get rid of. In the very beginning, you were worried that something was wrong until you realized where the feeling was coming from when it turned into slow circles around your clit as you caught up with Peter in his room. By dinner, there was the added sensation of fingers curling inside you at a steady pace, and you hoped no one would notice your hips slightly bucking under the table as you attempted to repeatedly chase a release that never came.

A movie follows dinner today, and you make sure to cover yourself with a large blanket because you were still being edged and you couldn’t stop moving at this point. You even try to slide your hand into your sweatpants to finish the job yourself, and your jaw clenches in anger every time your fingers lock up because you know who’s responsible.

“Okay, you win!” you announce as you walk into the kitchen on Natasha and Wanda’s private floor, not missing the look shared between the two women. “I’m sorry I was rude earlier. Can you please just stop teasing me?”

“How about we help you finish instead?”

You should decline. You should just say ‘no’ because letting them finish you off tonight will turn into an attachment that you know you don’t want, nor are you ready for. Inviting them in will be equivalent to selling your soul, and you’re not sure you want to put a price on it. But the ache below your stomach is persistent, and if they won’t let you touch yourself, someone has to do it.

“Fine.”

“Don’t be so grumpy about it,” Wanda teases as she grabs your hand and starts leading you toward their bedroom. “I promise you won’t regret it.”

She pushes you back onto the surprisingly large bed as soon as you’re close enough, instructing you to take off your shirt and bra while she watches. Once your top half is completely exposed, she leans forward to run her hands from your shoulders down toward your nipples, circling them with her thumbs until they harden.

“I don’t like being teased.”

“Oh, you don’t?” she asks in a mocking tone as she reaches for the band of your sweatpants and pulls them down, placing her palm over the wet spot in your panties. “Then what’s this?”

“Please,” you beg through a quiet moan, bucking your hips again when she presses her thumb against your clit through the fabric. “Please just fuck me already.”

“Patience, detka.”

You watch with wide eyes as Natasha and Wanda both strip away their own sweatpants, revealing the toys tied to their legs. Natasha goes to untie hers while Wanda uses her powers to rip away your ruined panties in one fluid motion.

“There she is.”

Natasha puts her hand on Wanda’s back and forces her to bend over, and you bite your lip as her eyes flutter closed and mouth falls open while Natasha thrusts into her. You’re just about to grab Wanda’s hand to lead her where you want, when her eyes open suddenly with a glowing red surrounding her pupils, and your wrists are bound together over your head by an invisible force.

“Did you forget who’s in charge here?”

“Don’t get too cocky, malyshka,” Natasha reminds her as she grabs a fistful of her hair and slams into her, causing Wanda to moan and giggle at the same time.

“My apologies, Tash.”

You couldn’t help your sigh of relief as Wanda finally slid two fingers inside of you, her thrusts deepening each time as Natasha fucked her toward you with her hands on her hips. The sounds coming from your mouth and between your legs were embarrassingly loud, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as she brought you closer and closer to the edge, until a loud whine escaped you as she removed her fingers and delivered a slap to your glistening folds.

“Tell me who this belongs to,” she orders through her own moans, holding you down when you begin grinding into her hand. “I’m gonna cum regardless of what you do, so you’d better answer. Be a good girl like I know you can.”

“Yours!” you cry out finally, sighing when Natasha leans into your line of sight with a brow raised. “It’s yours and Natasha’s.”

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

She slips back into you without warning, and your back arches off the bed as she finally brings you to orgasm. She continues to thrust into you as you whine and squirm away, luckily slowing down and finally stopping as Natasha makes her cum a minute later, leaving the strap inside of her as they both catch their breath. Wanda pulls out of you and sits up to lean against her, holding her hand up between them as they both clean your cum off her fingers with their tongues, and you sit there clenching around nothing as you watch.

“You seem tired,” Natasha comments as her eyes land on you again.

“Too bad we’re not done.”

Wanda flips you onto your stomach with a quick motion of her fingers, using her hands to pull you by the waist until you’re on your knees at the edge of the bed, and she holds one side of your waist as she delivers a slap to your ass this time. Her touch lingers as she pulls away to free her own strap, and you nearly fall over when you feel the tip of the toy rub against your clit.

“Wait, let me fuck her this time.”

You hear their soft laughter as they switch places, sharing a kiss in the process, and you gasp when a hand wraps around your neck and pulls you up against Natasha’s chest.

“I like having you this close to me, printsessa,” she whispers in your ear, chuckling when you melt against her as she pushes the tip of her strap into you. “How many times do you think I can get you to cum?”

Her grip on your throat is loose as she allows you to adjust to the size, tightening suddenly when she slams into you once, twice, until every thrust is at a rough pace that you wouldn’t be able to handle if she wasn’t holding you against her by the waist. You feel that same tingling circling your clit again, occasionally traveling upward to tease your nipples as well, and it wasn’t long before you were releasing a strangled scream as you climaxed.

Natasha eventually stops thrusting into you as your legs shake, and you breathe out another sigh of relief when she allows you to fall onto the mattress. However, the relief is short-lived when you realize that she only paused to let Wanda push into her from behind, and it wasn’t long before the two of them found a rhythm that was pleasing them and ruining you.

Your wrists are freed as Natasha pulls out of you some minutes later, and you collapse onto one side of the bed with your body aching a bit from a third orgasm, your eyes only halfway open as you watch the pair. They remove the straps from their waists and set them aside, and you become a bit more alert when you notice Natasha grab what seems to be a double-ended dildo.

“No more. I can’t,” you mumble tiredly as your wrists are bound by Wanda’s power again.

“One more, and you can,” she tells you as she flops onto the bed beside you, and that red mist surrounds her fingers again as she guides you onto your knees to hover above her face. “You wanted to cum, so you don’t get to run from this.”

Her hands grab your waist and pull you closer, and you release a shuddering moan as her tongue runs past your hole and over your clit, teasing it a few times with the tip of her tongue before diving in to wrap her lips around it. She alternates between sucking your clit and slipping inside you as Natasha climbs on the bed behind you to position herself with the new toy. 

“Fuck,” Wanda attempts to say once Natasha begins thrusting, and you fall forward as the vibration of her moans become too much, whining when Natasha slides her hands over your breasts and pulls you back up again.

“Take it all like a good girl.”

She keeps pulling until your head drops against her, and she moans against your neck while she kisses and sucks on your skin, bouncing faster on Wanda who groans loudly in response as she attempts to match each thrust. The hums of her voice has you grinding against her tongue, and you yelp when Natasha bites down just as Wanda brings you over the edge. She keeps going despite your protests, managing to get you to cum once more before they finally do.

You lie there with your bones feeling like jelly as you’re covered with a blanket minutes after everyone’s bathroom trip, too tired to even fight for sleeping in your own bed as Natasha and Wanda slide in on either side of you.

“You did so well tonight, detka,” Wanda praises as she strokes your cheek with a loving stare. “I can tell you’ll be a great addition to our relationship. I knew it from the moment I saw you.”

“I’m not doing this again,” you insist as the smile fades from her expression. “I’m not getting in a relationship with two women that don’t take ‘no’ for an answer, and I’d prefer sleeping in my own bed.”

“You’re already in a relationship with us, printsessa,” Natasha growls as she shoves you back down when you try to get up, and you push her hand away.

“There’s nothing you can say that’ll make me want to be with you.”

“It’s not about what you want to do. It’s about what you have to do.” She grabs your phone from the nightstand, and you’re somehow not even surprised when she unlocks it on the first try. “Because it’d be a shame if someone was to tell Peter about all the nudes you have of him.”

You snatch the phone from her grip, eyes widening as you scroll through your camera roll, finding naked pictures of Peter scattered throughout it. You check the date on the oldest one and began to feel nauseous when you saw it was taken not even a month after the two of you met.

“Don’t think you’ll be deleting those either, because we can replace them and make things worse.” Her smile was falsely sweet and troubling as she grabbed your chin to force you to make eye contact. “We’ve gone this long without having you, and we’ll do whatever it takes not to lose you.”

-

Tags: @cordeliaswhore @egotisticalstoner @muralskins @natasha-danvers @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @madamevirgo @teenwonder @honeyvenable @slut-for-nat

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[oonajaeadira]

Long Fall Into Oblivion (Ezra x reader)

(header by sirtadcooper - check out the whole beautiful set here.)

Rating: Mature. 

Pairing: Ezra (post-Prospect film) x f!reader

Warnings: Non-explicit sex. Some swears maybe (think there’s a f*ck in there somewhere, my GOODNESS). A lot of gooey, syrupy, soft fluffety fluff. Author attempts at writing Ezra dialogue. A lot of chewy prose.

A/N: I can’t believe I’m posting this, but here goes. I love Ezra. He is a man of questionable morality and an insufferable tongue and I really shouldn’t. But I really do. I just wanted to give him a try. I’ve softened him up here, putting a few years on him so maybe he’s fluffed up some since the events in the film. Also I just ignored the fade or assumed that aurelac mining was still happening because scarcity/demand. Doesn’t matter. Just wanted to go exploring.

Summary: You take a job as an aurelac prospecting trainee and Ezra shows you the ropes. You’re gonna fall in love with him. That’s it. That’s the whole thing.

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MASTERLIST

________________

Bakhroma is one of the smallest gas giants in the sector, but as you stand on the surface of the Green Moon, it dominates the entire horizon, pulling your focus, threatening to engulf everything around it. You almost feel sorry for the lush moon as you walk through its undergrowth, so gentle and full of beauty, destined many years after you’re gone to give its life to her.

A moon is an orbiting admirer, and what is an orbit but a long fall to oblivion?

There’s a painful, sour ache in your heart as you walk back to the camp in twilight, watching the back of Ezra’s helmet bob along in front of you. You’d spent two days digging that claim only to find the weakest aurelac nest you’ve seen yet, only three viable nodes. You’d dug through one of them by accident and completely melted another like an incompetent fool. Kevva’s ass, you were such a disappointment. Three months in the Green and you still can’t cut a blister out properly. Not even once.

Ezra’s shoulders are wide and tense, his one hand splayed out as he walks, running over the tops of the tall ferns, catching one every now and then only to rip the top away, twirl it between his gloved fingers and toss it impatiently aside.

The other two members of your team headed out on a sling this morning, another two will be arriving in a few days. And you wonder if Ez regrets just not cutting his losses and leaving with them, or at least sending you back in exchange for another kip.

You think about shifting through the comm channels, hoping that he’s chattering away in one of them, switched without your knowledge, but it’s a lost cause. You can hear him breathing on the channel between you. It’s not often Ezra has nothing to say.

________________

You thought your father was leaving you an inheritance. It’s not the reason you took care of him through his illness, but you’d dropped everything to be back home with him through his final months. In a way, it was a blessing, a reason to quit the Dasha factory and the terrible working conditions there, come back home and focus on your dad, relive good memories, just spend time. The reconnection lifted your heart, but his death sank it low again. When you learned he had nothing to leave you but a small house and some old vehicles, you sold what you could and traded in the rest.

Then you had nothing. No family, no job, little savings, questionable future. It almost broke your spirit. But the last few months with your father rekindled your love of him as he told you about his years in the Fringe, mining and prospecting. And your heart had said, “what the hell, let’s try that.” So you listened.

It took some time to track down the right inroads, but you were able to find some ads for prospecting teams, in particular those who were willing to take on members in training for a re-distributed cut. With all provisions included--other than suit and gear, which your father’s inheritance neatly covered--it seemed like just as good of a deal as any, and an adventure to boot.

But the reality was, every team you met with was full of hardened men, and while you were not a soft Central woman, you also weren’t overly versed in weaponry and didn’t know if you could defend yourself out in the Fringe against attack if things got crusty.

You were just about ready to admit defeat when you walked into yet another conference bunker and found your match. The first thing you noticed was that he was standing when you arrived, waiting for you politely rather than manspread at the table. Second were his eyes. Deep, brown, and sad. Maybe sad was the wrong word, certainly it seemed by the lines in his face, possibly by the missing arm, that he’d seen enough sadness, but toward you, it read more as concern. You wouldn’t know it until later when he confessed his feelings about this first meeting, but he was worried you wouldn’t choose him. Ezra had a hell of a time hiring partners. He may have been one of the longest-working aurelac diggers out there, but young kippers saw his greying beard and seasoned diggers saw his lacking arm and they all tended to turn around and walk out before he even said hello. So he’d tried to put himself out there as a trainer, show that he had something more to offer.

It didn’t hurt his feelings when you admitted to him later that those qualities were exactly why you chose him. He seemed the opposite of threatening. And his eyes were bright when he smiled at you. With his thrumming baritone and his Fringe twang and his mixed deck of mosaic words, he had a way of speaking that felt like a fluffy blanket curling around you, your brain vibrating with comfort at every new monologue. He was eccentric and perhaps a little jarringly rough in his humor at times, but there was something about him that you trusted immediately, even though you’d come to learn later you probably shouldn’t have if you were being overly cautious.

Not that your judgement ever came to detriment. Not that he ever proved you wrong that way. Not when it came to you. But the man was dangerous when he had to be in a way you hadn’t initially picked up on.

________________

You hadn’t been out in the Green two weeks before you looked up from the bottom of a dig hole to see Ezra standing over you with a thrower.

“You get down and you stay down, understand?”

“Ez? What--”

“I said stay down! Do not make me waste words on mere repetition!” The fuzzy blanket of his voice replaced suddenly by a snarling, snapping brush wolf, a quick change hitting you like a slap in the ear.

There’d been pops and whizzes as shots rang through and you did as your trainer said, face down, the view of your visor giving you nothing but dirt. Your helmet was a chorus of quick breathing from both of you and sweat rolled down your neck as you begged the eyes of Kevva to look down upon your partner. When the crossfire faded, you’d heard Ezra stalk away. Then there were a couple more shots. Then more footsteps returning.

“You are permitted to stand, trinket. All is well as it can be for us. But not so much for our dearly departed friends.” These words were as soothing as much as his previous ones had burned, and he simply went back to working at the dig at hand as if he’d just come back from taking a leak. It wasn’t until you left the site that evening that you tramped past two rotting raiders, gaudily outfitted with broken face shields, left to let the Green take them.

Ezra whistled as he stepped over them, stopping only to harvest their filters and munition rods, which he tossed your way to stow in your pack, and then continued lazily down the path toward camp. Just another day on the job. 

He may be a little peculiar and not someone to trifle with, he may have just killed two people without remorse or further comment, but his lack of reassuring words told you that this was just part of the deal. You wear the suit, you use the air scrubber in the tent, you follow the landing pod instructions as written, and you defend yourself against those who wish to harm you. Survival by any and all means is paramount, mundane, and something he has no qualms with on any level.

There was something deep down inside of you that instinctually pulled you to follow him, not just down the literal path before you, but whatever path Ezra chose to wander.

________________

Before you’d left the station with him, he’d taken you to a thrower range to gauge your skill which was decent in theory, but dismal compared with what he could do. No matter, he still patiently taught you how to properly clean and charge a weapon and the best way to breathe and pull the trigger; “like you’re taking hold of a man’s...well... Just go easy and firm.” He suggested you should come and practice every day before lift off and then hope to Kevva that you didn’t have to rely too heavily on it.

“If I find myself in a coffin of my own suit, then feel free to defend yourself as a final means of preservation. Otherwise, when it comes down to shots fired, best to let me do the dirty work. Might as well keep the blood where the blood has been.”

You’d been a little nervous about sharing a freighter pod alone with him, but Ezra was...well, not so much a gentleman as just a comfortable soul. 

He always waited until you were hungry to eat, thinking it rude to eat alone in front of you. He never moved around the pod while you were sleeping, content to keep still with a book in his cot. And if you couldn’t sleep, he was always willing to read to you from whatever impossibly dense old world classic he was digging through for the umpteenth time, letting his voice come up from the deeps and pull you gently under. If you asked permission to turn on the radio, he’d ask you “why Isn’t it on yet, woman,” quietly tolerating your taste in harsh and gleeful babblecore pshcyopop. In the later days of the journey, he’d even come to dance with you from time to time, although both of you were dismal at it and ended up with you in a fit of giggles. It was a sure-fire way to cure a case of the pouts you carried through from the morning fitness sessions when he beat you at pushups. Again.

When it came to privacy in the tight space, he had a habit of turning away without having to be asked or stopping his stream of talk when you went to change clothes, just happily chattering away until you called the all clear. Although he was not squeamish about his own state of undress, should you happen to catch it by accident. While he was respectful of your privacy, he seemed to need none of his own, but neither did he flaunt anything. You might look up from studying the flight manual to notice he was changing into a fresh pair of compression pants, tugging them on haphazardly with one hand, more concerned with telling you the overwhelmingly disgusting manufacturing process of Bits Bars than his own ass hanging out where you might see it. At least he always changed facing away from you which was a kindness.

Until it wasn’t.

After you realized you’d fallen quietly in love with him--a sudden, soft moment on the Green--then you’d admit only privately to yourself that you wouldn’t mind if you accidentally saw a little more than the occasional shirtless attire he might wear around the tent.

But in the pod, the only part of him that had caught your curiosity was his stump, and you’d known Ezra intensely enough over the past couple of weeks where you knew he wouldn’t take offense. Especially if you asked him the right way.

“Will you tell me a story, Ezra?”

“I feel that it is my duty to do so whether you ask me to or not. Shall I choose, or is there something in particular you would like to hear?”

He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, propped up against his cot, going through his kit, cleaning his gear. You waited until he noticed your lack of answer and looked up to meet your eyes. When he saw that you had put your manual down and were focusing all your quiet attention on him, he stopped his busy work. 

When Ezra gives you his attention, it is absolute. When he knows you seriously need something from him, that becomes his immediate main priority and all else can wait. It’s only gotten more intense since that day, but there is a trust that resides between you when you look into his eyes, gathering your words as he waits patiently every time to hear whatever you’re going to request of him. There’s always hope there in his big browns, always something specific he’s waiting for you to ask, and every day you get a little bit closer to understanding what it might be. But until then, any question is a welcome one, any query is met with his wish to provide.

“Will you tell me how you lost your arm?”

At first you thought you may have gone too far, that maybe you insulted him, as his eyebrows peaked together and he looked down at his hand. But then, “That is a tale that may cause you some consternation, trinket. The Green is dangerous and unforgiving, and there were times I may not have been a man worthy of fair opinion.”

“My father was a prospector, you know. I’ve heard stories. Have you ever killed anyone?”

He clicked his tongue and screwed up an eye, causing the thin white scar on his cheek to twist. Then he sighed and returned to your locked gaze. “To be honest, I have. Though I have never done so with pleasure, I have killed in defense and out of desperation, and it was out of dispatching a man in this way that I came to lose the second favorite of all my appendages.”

“Second favorite?”

“Well, it depends what you classify as a limb.” He huffed a small laugh, a spark in his eye, trying to diffuse the harsh subject in his own way.

His leaning into baseness never bothered you. There was something earthy about it, gritty and rough, but never lewd. You rewarded his crassness with a smile. “Do you plan on killing me out in the Green?”

“I would hope my murdering days are behind me, and if they are not, you would see me aim a thrower at everyone but you in the course of my spree. You are under my tutelage, and for that, I owe you a duty of care. That is my word by Kevva.”

“Then tell me the story. I like your stories. I promise not to judge now-Ezra by then-Ezra.”

A dimple formed on his cheek, a punctuation mark framing the approaching anecdote on his lips. “Then I will declare myself absolved of any sin heretofore and regale you with a clean and grateful heart.”

________________

You can see the tent through the trees and you realize with some horror that it’s just you and Ezra for the next few nights. If he’s angry with you, and this is how he is when he’s upset, the silence will be unbearable.

Even that little girl he helped out here years ago was probably more capable than you. You feel so lost in this moment, and it’s only made worse by his silence. You fumble with your communicator and hit the mute just in time to choke on a sob.

This isn’t like you. You’re not one to cry when things get rough. You hardly shed a tear when your father died. But the thought of that just brings another sob and as acting as your own psychologist you realize that you are experiencing some displaced sorrow, the odd need to please the leading male in your life, the one that’s walking ahead of you, away from you. If he’d just turn around and throw you his worn weary smile, if he’d just start up a conversation you’d know that there was hope for you, you’d know you didn’t give up everything to be here in a job you couldn’t hack.

You gotta stop this. Or it’s going to be an uncomfortable night.

Shake it off.

Once you enter the tent, the usual dance happens. Ezra reaches up to turn on the air scrubber and you unhook his filter tube from his helmet. When he turns to you, you pull open the zipper cover on his suit and start his zip for him before lifting his helmet up and off. He can pull the zip the rest of the way, but you generally pull the left collar down for him so he can get his arm out. He’s on his own from there as you turn to fuss with your own gear. 

________________

You remember it starting easily enough. He was telling you a story about the breeding habits of the Tokovian Musk Owl and you could see he was having trouble with his suit zipper, yanking at it and trying to look down at it even though it was under his chin and his helmet. Without another hand to keep the fabric taut, the zip didn’t want to release, so you simply batted his hand away and started it for him. He didn’t even stop his yammering, just threw in a “thank you” somewhere in between “could hear them screeching” and “for a fuck.” He’d right out asked you the day before if you wouldn’t mind disengaging the filter tube just because it was delicate and he didn’t want to mangle the expensive part trying to pop it out one-handed day after day. And while he could manage the helmet fine enough, his prominent nose thanked you for a smoother removal for sure. 

It wasn’t the only routine dance you’d concocted. 

There was the harness dance.

While dig days were excruciating, you always looked forward to helping him attach the harness for his prosthesis--a kind of rigid pole attached to a shovel so you didn’t have to do all the hard digging alone. There were a couple of straps that came around his torso with multiple latches and you’d come to really enjoy wrapping your arms around him to fit the straps on. Sure, you could do the job just as easily from behind, but if you embraced him at the front, he’d usually raise his arm and let it come to rest around your shoulders while you worked. If you let yourself dream, it would be easy to imagine that he might be pressing you into him just a little bit.

And there was the harvesting dance.

On a dig, you were the one to mix the fazer and Ezra did the pour. He fished the sack, you cut the cord. You sliced the outer casing and held it open while he did the extraction. And with the flesh-covered stone, he told you every time to “hold it like you love it” so he could cut away the slippery blister before cleaning the gemstone.

It was a beautiful harmony. And the only way it worked. Because once on every dig he urged you to do a solo extraction, and on every dig, you pierced the blister and lost that stone. And on every dig, he squeezed your shoulder and told you it was a wondrous try, that he was proud of you, and there would always be another turn. There was no sarcasm, no pity, just a warm smile and ceaseless optimism even though you just lost both of you thousands in pay.

These were the first touches, these shoulder squeezes that ran down your arm on the let-go. Sometimes he would just reach out and grab onto you like a pole to help himself up, or he might stumble off balance on uneven ground and without the counterweight of his right arm he’d throw his hand out onto you to steady himself. He wasn’t beyond lightly touching the small of your back to encourage you down a path or to take your next try at a gem pull. 

This was all part of something you’ve secretly named the left-handed-lover’s dance. Basically, that you keep on his left whenever you can in case he needs your help or has the inclination to reach for you. It started out as just trying to be a good partner. Then it became a passing hope that it was more than just a friendly bond. But you were both here to do a job. He was here to teach you to be an independent prospector and you were here to assist and learn. That was evident at the end of the day; once you were both in the tent and out of the suits he never touched you, never so much as bumped into you or grazed your hand in passing an item or clapped you on the arm after a good joke. 

But out in the field all zipped in and helmets on, there was nothing more natural than his gentle hand guiding you or reaching for your assistance, including the day you realized you loved him.

________________

Before you can turn away to strip off your own coverings, Ezra catches your arm, spinning your face into the light. You try to shake him off, not wanting him to catch your eyes puffy from crying and your cheeks still streaked with tears, but his grip is not so gentle now and he yanks you back around to his stormy glare, chin up, brows low. His intensity paralyzes you, rendering you unable to continue your struggle when he catches your eyes with his.

When Ezra gives you his attention, it is absolute.

His gaze travels back and forth between your eyes, waiting for an explanation, a minute so stringent it breaks you down, dissolves you into the tears you’d tried so hard to hide.

“I’m sorry, Ezra. I really am trying... I don’t know why I’m such a scuffer at this and I know it would only be right to release you from the contract and tell you to send me back but I don’t want you to, I really wanna stay, I really wanna learn and I’m so, so sorry.”

Your words have an immediate effect, softening him, pulling his glare into concern and wonder, his lips parting just the tiniest bit in surprise.

“This is the reason for your heavy mood? You think I am provoked by your proficiency in the field?” 

“I crusted up good today and it seems like you’re not happy about it. Just...know that it means so much to me that...I don’t wanna let you down.”

“Oh, trinket, no.” An incredulous huff jumps out of him and his grip on your arm loosens, becomes a splayed warm support behind your shoulder, moving in soothing patterns and you’re instantly relieved that your assumptions were wrong. “You have done no harm in my book. It is not an easy thing to deliver a gem of this ilk into the world unscathed. Your opportunities have been few and scattered and it takes many sticks before a lover becomes a lothario.” He knows the crass humor will make you laugh, knows what to say to lighten your heart, to get you to soften, and bring you into his intimate, conspiratorial mood. “To be perfectly honest, I am selfish to an unrighteous degree, for every gem you burn keeps me in value to you. A worthy sacrifice to guarantee you mightn’t be so quick in your need to fly away from me until your training’s complete.”

This causes a hitch in your breath as you see the welcome turn the conversation he’s taking and you follow the path he’s making for you. “I don’t want to leave you, Ez.”

A smile creeps up one side of his mouth. “Well then I am a happy man. A bargain is struck! Partners it is.”

“Partners it is.”

A moment hangs between you as he rubs his thumb in slow circles on your shoulder. There’s that look in his eye again, the one where he’s waiting for you to ask the question he wants to hear from you. So close now.

Still, you’re unsure. “I guess I’m lucky I found the one person who wants an incompetent partner.”

“No, I do not, nor is it what I have and I must express my objection to your self-debasement. This work is not for the shiny, and you have not once complained about taking on the meat of the digging or the crawl of my schedule.”  His hand comes to your helmet shield and he rakes his thumb across it as if he ached to wipe away one of your staleing tears. “Those bright eyes of yours got a penchant for spotting deposits more skillfully than I could ever manage and that’s not something that can be taught; that’s talent, girl. The blistering?” He shrugs. “Even I can’t manage that without the steady help of your fine hands. You may think that your blunders in education are causing us some financial ruin, but our fortunes are creamy. I assure you, we can afford it.”

That look is still there. He’s waiting. “There’s some ‘us’ and ‘we’ in there, Ez.” Your hands drift to his sides, taking fistfuls of his compression suit top, willing him closer.

The edges of his eyes take on the crinkle you’ve come to find so much comfort in. “So there is.”

You’re almost there. You know what he wants. “Why were you so quiet on the walk back?” 

“Because for the next few days we are alone here and I have a mind full of questions I do not know how to ask you.”

“Then let me go first.” A yearning happiness settles in his brown eyes; finally. Finally you’ve found out what it is he needs you to request of him. “If I take this helmet off, are you going to kiss me, Ez?”

His eyes close in contentment and he nods, “Yes. Yes, little jewel. Yes I am, that and more. I hope I have inferred correctly that it is your wish that I do so, because I am in free fall. I feel my orbit ending and my pull to you is complete.”

_______________

“A moon is an orbiting admirer, and what is an orbit but a long fall to oblivion?”

Speculating days were some of your favorite times, just wading through the brush and looking for the telltale signs and shoots of an underlying deposit. Sometimes you came upon nests of strange groundling insects or flowers that only grew in secret. There were treasures underfoot on this poisonous moon, but if you remembered to look up as well, you might find some dangerous beauties there too. 

On that day--the one where you finally understood your heart--you’d looked up to find that you were on a cliffside overlooking a valley, the canopy a million different hues of green, the gas giant looming over half the sky in a big pink and orange semi-circle. There was a fallen log that served as a perfect seat for the perfect view and you knew Ezra wouldn’t mind if you stole a few moments to sit and to take it in. It’s just the kind of thing he’d appreciate. And you were proven right when he came up behind you, putting a hand on your shoulder to steady himself as he swung one leg then the other over the log, finding a perch next to you, spouting pretty words through the channel link--soft and low--about moons and orbits and obilvions.

“That glowing beauty is Bakhroma. She is quiet and fierce, made up of the unfathomable and the unknowable, always within sight, but out of reach and untouchable unless one would trade the honor with great sacrifice. She reflects the light that is given to her with a patience that is heretofore untold. And the Green Moon upon which we ride follows where she goes like a lovesick fool, spinning around her in a heady kind of adoration, full of secret treasures buried deep down that will ultimately one day belong to her, falling incrementally over eons until he finally loses himself in her, all his glories gladly forfeit to her welcome and inevitable embrace. Alone but together, seemingly eternal, pulled as one by the laws of a mysterious universe.”

The void that came after those words was filled with the beating of your heart, and you were sure he could hear it through the channel.

When he’d landed there beside you, you’d registered how his hand slid off your shoulder, diagonally down across your back, coming to rest at your waist, his arm draped lightly around you. Natural. Easy. Everything was warm--the colors of the sky, the care with which he kept you close as if to better hear the honey sweetness in his prose, the fire burning in your lungs and neck.

Ezra probably didn’t know that you spoke a little Vayok.

Bakh being the Vayok word for adornment. Ornament, Gem. Roma was a modifier, a diminutive. Small. Dear.

Bakhroma. Sentimental bauble. A little jewel.

In other words, a trinket.

All you wanted to do was sit down to take in the view of an entire world for a few moments, but by the time Ezra took your hand and helped you to your feet, all you saw was him.

________________

The helmet is barely off before his lips are sealed to yours in a press of greed. Even if he can’t form words when he kisses you, he can’t help but express his deep relief in a heartbreaking moan. It’s a fight to release yourself from the suit when he keeps pulling you against him and every time you try to get some space between you to work the zipper, he chuckles into your mouth, enjoying the tease and the struggle. It’s simultaneously frustrating and thrilling and you give in for a few moments just to give him what he seems to want so desperately right now.

Ezra kisses like a man starved for air, long, hard, and full of need, peeling his lips away only to come back for another breath of you until his initial want is slaked and he slows, allows for more time between his taking, his mouth starting to mumble against yours, praising you with pet names, telling you how perfect you are to him, how long he’s “fought against my more dubious natures to respect your womanly virtues and take them only when you could see in me a man worth bestowing them on.”

You’re able to use his weakness for monologuing to turn around in his vice-like embrace, finally freeing yourself of the suit and he takes the opportunity to drawl more pretty words in your ear, warning you that “I’m afraid I have been enamored of you overly long and may be extra eager in my attentions. So you just say the word if you need a slow down, gentle one, and I will do my best to comply. Although I will admit it will be a difficult endeavor indeed as I feel I am entering your atmosphere and nothing might quell this burn but finding some drowning place to land.”

Your first impression of him was of a man whose age and temperament and body would not be able to overpower you.

Your first impression was wrong.

Of course, it helps that you are willing.

It doesn’t take long for him to strip you down, and then himself. To kiss you down onto the floor. To find exactly where you like to be touched most and how long it takes for you to break from it. He has so many words for you, so many praises to sing about every part of you that is round or soft or wet, comparing you to things that are sweet and plush or celestial and holy. And when you take his favorite limb in hand--as wondrous as the rest of his body--and guide it to its fit, he plunders and harvests all you have to give him, filing you with himself, for as long as you call for it, as long as you let him. He loves you like he speaks to you: rough and drawn out, full of beautiful tangents and meandering plotlines, but in the end it is beautiful and fulfilling; you may be just a little bit confused how you got to the ending, but you’re completely in awe.

When you lay breathing heavy, staring but not seeing the ceiling of the tent, your consciousness seemingly lifted to see through it to the stars, to the glowing face of Bakhroma, you run hands through rough-chopped hair on a head laying on your chest. He’s listening to your heartbeat, waiting for it to slow down so he can start again. The air is thick--even the air scrubber can’t keep up with all your humidity--and there’s a halo around each bulb of the string lights just barely illuminating the darkness.

“How long, Ez?”

“Hm?”

“How long have you been waiting for that.”

“Most likely since the day you walked into my interview. I am a man of simple wants and you had all the right parts for my preferences.”

“For real, Ez.”

He tipped his head up to find you. “What you ask has many true answers, and I stand by the first. I have no qualms telling you of my weakness for a pretty succulence and a kind smile the likes of which you possess. But if you are asking when I knew I would have it, well, that may have been the first day you danced. Or when you asked me to read you to sleep. Or when I understood I wouldn’t let those bastard raiders get near enough to take their turn at your qualities when I had not had them myself. Or when you finally saw me as a viable person to drape your affections on; maybe it was that day too.”

“When I finally saw you as....”

“I have read many tomes and verses but none so full of beautiful passages as your face that day on the cliff. There is a difference of knowing and being. I knew the feel of your pull that day, but found I’d been in orbit all along.”

How he can live this way, twist everything into a tossed away poem...it should be exhausting. Yet you feed off it. You breathe it like air.

After another long cycle of frenzied entanglement and violent euphoria, you ask Ezra if he’d like to move to a cot, maybe get some sleep. “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to walk to the dig tomorrow morning,” you confess.

“No need to worry about tomorrow,” he says, wapping his arm around you and dragging you back to him, grumbling into your ear. “We are the only prospectors in this sector and the aurelac will wait. Until our new compatriots arrive, we are officially on hiatus. Recreational mining only. Restricted to the confines of this tent. By order of your supervisor. In the interest of more precious treasures. And I intend to strike it rich.”

“Well. I’m here to assist. And learn.”

“When it comes to this dig, trinket, you are more than competent. I am no longer your trainer. Partners it is.”

“Partners it is.”

The new contract is struck, signed and sealed in kissing and in touch and a long, slow fall into inevitable oblivion.

#ezra x reader #ezra/reader #ezra prospect #prospect fanfic #prospect fanfiction #pedro pascal #soft #soft ezra