#its even worse bc i keep realising that i kinda hate myself right now and i tried so hard to stop that and love myself and i did! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jungshookz · 4 years

Note

consider this... so ballet class is done for the day and jimin is rubbing down the bars/wiping the foggy mirrors and y/n sees him and shes like you guys go ahead. then she stays to help him bc he works so hard to be a good teacher BUT THEN WHEN THEY FINISH ITS LIKE AFTER HOURS and they attempt to leave the building but realize that the janitor locked up so they're trapped inside and they're forced to be alone together until the person jimin called for help finally comes. imagine the TENSION 🥺

➺ pairing; park jimin x reader

➺ genre; balletteacher!jiminiverse!!! mostly cute things happen but also some words r exchanged that make it a little hot n heavy heh

➺ wordcount: 8k

➺ what to expect; “what-“ your voice cracks, “-makes you think that, mr. park?”

➺ optional readings: one; two; three

➺ note; i hope u don’t mind but i changed the request a little bit!! there’s still plenty of y/n and jimin cleaning up the classroom but the janitor didn’t make it in as a character :’(( but i douBT you guys care about the janitor anyway because hello it’s jimin and y/n!!! as per usual this drabble spun out of control which is why it’s 8k words long :D also i’m realising that all the parts combined basically add up to one of my regular fics so i guess ballet!jimin could’ve been a fic but enough about thAT i hope this very large drabble pleases the crowd!!! (also i’m sorry i couldn’t find the original source of the gif but i found it off this pinterest page) happy reading!!

»»————-　♡　————-««

you typically do not condone lying because you believe in the idea that if you tell a lie, that lie will come back sooner or later to bite you in the ass… so it’s always better to tell the truth!

honesty is the best policy, after all

with that being said you aRe human at the end of the day and you can make exceptions at times when it comes to telling the truth

and this would definitely be one of those times

“how come you haven’t packed your stuff up yet, slow-poke?” lisa nudges your back with her duffle bag and you turn around from your locker to see her and a couple of the other girls all packed up and ready to go “and how come you’re still in uniform??”

you pause for a second before offering her a sheepish smile “i… uh…”

here’s what’s happening

you really appreciated that jimin went out of his way to get all of you guys valentine’s day presents because it was just such a sweet surprise and honestly you haven’t been able to stop thinking about how bashful he was when he was handing everyone’s flowers out

and of course you haven’t forgotten the fact that you were the only one who received a lavender rose when everyone else got light pink ones

anyways

you bought him a little gift as a way to return the favour just because you felt kinda bad that he didn’t get anything on valentine’s day

and at first you were going to ask the others if maybe all of you should chip in and get him something nice and expensive but the selfish little monster inside of you convinced you that no, you should keep this a secret and make yourself look like the beST student!!!

and you will admit that you felt a little bad at first about not telling everyone about your idea because it… does kind of make you look like a suck-up (and you hate suck-ups!!!) buT in your defence, if you suggested the idea then everyone would just round back to the whole ‘y/n and mr park sitting on a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g’ teasing nightmare and why the heck would you want to subject yourself to even moRE teasing???

usually after class everyone kind of just goes off on their own after saying goodbye but for some reason, it seems that the girls decided to take their sweet-ass time in leaving this afternoon

you’re not even sure if jimin is in the dang building anymore at this point

“i know we usually walk to the subway together, but-” lisa speaks up again after five whole seconds of you staring at her going uhhhhhh before she gestures behind her “the girls suggested an uber carpool situation and my legs are suPer duper sore so i’m going for that - do you want in?”

“oh, well, thanks for asking- i think i’m… probably just going to take the subway home!” you smile politely as you discreetly shut your locker so that they don’t see the neatly wrapped gift peeking out of your bag

“aw, really?” lisa purses her lips in thought, “since it’s a little late, we can all walk you there and then i guess we’ll call an uber after we say good-“

“no, no!” you snort before flicking your wrist “you guys head off, no need to worry about me. it’s going to take me a while to change out of the unitard and the skirt and the-“

“since when do you change out of your uniform after class? everyone just wears their clothes ovEr their unitards.” jisoo pipes up from behind lisa and you swallow thickly before letting out a chuckle and scratching the back of your neck

that is true

everyone usually just puts on sweatpants and a hoodie after class

no one ever changes into another outfit!!!!

you can feel heat beginning to travel up the back of your neck

you’ve never been good at lying!!!!! and now you’re getting nervouS!! and when you get nervous you become even worse at lying!!!!!!

“are you feeling okay?? you look a little flushed-” ailee’s brows furrow together in confusion and you rub your clammy palms on the back of your cardigan

o god

what do you say now???

oOH tell them you had a bad tuna sandwich for lunch and that you need some alone time with the toilet

…ok no that’s a little nasty aNd very too-much-information

what about if you tell them you applied for a job here as an after-hours janitor and that you need to start getting ready for that and then when they ask you why you got a job here you can tell them that you’ve been having financial struggles and as a young woman living alone in a big city you’re just trying to make ends meet but it’s been really hard and you can barely pay for these classes and every night you have to beg on the streets for dinner-

yeah thAt one’s a little melodramatic and straight up not true so that probably isn’t going to work either

“helloooo?? what’s the holdup, people??” seulgi yells out from the entrance of the changing room

“-my period just came and it’s going to take me a while to strip off and do my business!” you blurt out and a couple of the girls back up a little because of how louDLy you announced that

“oh! alright, that makes sense?” lisa snorts before shaking her head “i totally get the struggle. do you… need a tampon or anything?”

“nope! i, uh, i’m all good. thank you, though.” you clear your throat and offer her a smile “but seriously, you guys go ahead and i’ll see you next week!”

you smile and wave as the last of the girls file out of the changing room before letting out a breath of relief

you appreciated them offering to walk you to the subway and all that but damN they were starting to get a little annoying!!

“okay… it’s not a big deal…” the present in your bag feels like it’s weighing you down as you make your way down the hallway back to the classroom

for some reason it feels like you’re walking to your execution

it’s not a big deal!

it’s just a present for your teacher and that is noT a big deal

it’s a nice gesture and you’re doing this because you’re a nice person

…okay but if u think about it it is kind of a big deal because the person you’re giving this present to is park jimin and you don’t want him to think that you’re harbouring a little crush on him because a student crushing on her teacher is not only cliché but also kind of!!! pathetic!!!!!!

and if he knew that you had a crush on him he’d probably end up giving you a whole speech on being professional and respecting student-teacher relationship boundaries which is honestly very pitiful aND embarrassing and you’d much rather avoid that whole fiasco

ok then maybe you should rethink this whole gift-giving thing

you can express your gratitude in other ways!

do you still have the receipt?

it’s probably crumpled up at the bottom of your bag

you wonder to yourself if the store is still open right now and if you have time to return the-

“y/n?” you stumble backwards a little in surprise when the door suddenly swings open and jimin’s brows knit together curiously “what are you still doing here? was there something you wanted to talk about?”

oh there are pLenty of things you’d like to talk about with jimin

like the meaning behind the lavender rose he gave you and if he knows that it means what it means

“well, uh, i didn’t have something to talk about, necessarily…” you clear your throat as you follow him into the classroom “but i-“

“you know what, i’m actually glad you stayed behind.” jimin whips around and your eyes widen a bit

what’s that supposed to mean??

“you are?” you whisper faintly and jimin nods before offering you a smile

oh god

this is happening all too fast

a minute ago you were freaking out that jimin probably didn’t feel the same way but here he is now-

“the janitor said that he had to leave early tonight so i told him i’d stay behind after class to clean the classroom myself, but now that you’re here - why don’t you start wiping down the mirrors?” jimin gestures towards the grubby mirrors at the front of the classroom before pointing towards the door “and i’m going to go find the mop and bucket.”

“oh!” you drop your duffle bag to the ground with a flop when jimin tosses a rag at you “well, mr. park, you see, i actually wanted to-“

“less talking, more cleaning, miss y/l/n…” jimin raises a brow at you before clapping his hands together “chop chop!”

“but i-“ you groan quietly when jimin slips out of the room before turning to look at the foggy mirrors

…okay why are the mirrors so dirty?????

you’re going to have to talk to everyone about maybe not smearing their hands all over the mirrors like animals

also you’re not sure how you’re supposed to give jimin his gifts when he’s given you the responsibility to help clean up the classroom

you didn’t sign up for thiS >:-(

right

it’s been about 20 minutes or so since you started cleaning

jimin put some music on so that the two of you wouldn’t be cleaning in awkward silence

he surprised you a little when he asked yoU what you wanted to listen to

(you ended up choosing one of those lofi mix videos on youtube because you felt like that would be a safe option)

(it’s an animal crossing gentle piano mix and it’s very soothing and is actually helping you calm down a little bit)

(“really? animal crossing?” “what?? you said i could choose!”)

you decided to take a break from the mirrors (wiping mirrors was noT as easy as you thought it’d be) so you’ve moved on to wiping down the bars instead

jimin’s on his hands and knees diligently scrubbing away at some shoe marks on the floor

he wore a white button up and slacks to class today which isn’t anything out of the usual except for the fact that now he’s unbuttoned the top couple of buttons and he’s rolled + pushed up the sleeves and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t bothered by it

the chain around his neck seems to wink at you under the lights and almost immediately you wonder what his chain would look like hanging above you

…oh boy

you swallow thickly before scrubbing harder at a smudge on the bar

okay you know what

this is ridiculous

you came here to give him something but here you are doing chores

and it seems that you’ve decided against giving him his gift simply because you are SHY

you’re weak

WEAK!!!!

a weak little wimp, that’s what you are

no offence (but it’s kind of tru)

“hey, mr. park?” you blurt out before you realise and your eyes widen slightly in panic

“yes?” jimin turns to glance at you over his shoulders for a second before returning to his vigorous scrubbing aaaaAAND you are now realising that his shirt is a little see-through under the lights and his back muscles are.,., well.,., they are definitely flexing.,.,

you cut your nails recently so it probably wouldn’t hurt him if you dug them into his shoulder blad-

oh my god

get a grip

PLEASE for the love of god get a grip

you know what

it’s because your period is late this month!! that’s why your hormones are completely out of whack

you wouldn’t be surprised if you reeked of pheromones right now

“also, you can call me jimin, you know. mr. park is kind of an in-class thing.” jimin teases

“right! …jimin.” you cough a little when your voice wavers slightly

it’s not that you’re uncomfortable with calling him jimin

it’s just that you’re used to calling him mr. park and jimin feels so informal and you knoW he’s only like two? three? years older than you so it’s not weird for you to be calling him by his name but!!!!! aHH

but then again you like saying his name :-) because it makes you feel closer to him :-) oh god u rly do like him :-)

(also he likes hearing u say his name)

“i, um-“ you hang the rag over the bar before quickly wiping your hands on the back of your skirt “the reason why i stayed behin-“

“hold that thought-“ jimin gets up off the ground and dusts his hands off before patting his stomach “i don’t know about you but i am starving, so i’m going to quickly get some food from that deli down the block - do you want anything? i feel a little bad that i made you stay after class to help me clean.” he grabs his jacket before checking the pockets to make sure he has his wallet with him

right

well

maybe this is another sign from god to noT giving jimin this present

every time you’re about to do it something happens!!!

“oh gosh, don’t worry about it! i… didn’t have any plans, anyway, so…” you snort before turning away from him because woW you are very good at making yourself sound like a loser “but, uh- you don’t have to get me anything! thank you for offering…”

“alright, i’ll be back in twenty. feel free to take a break!”

as soon as jimin leaves you immediately smack your forehead against the glass

okay first of all ouch

but second of all

“c’mon, y/n. keep it cool!”

what is it about park jimin that reduces you into a fumbling, awkward little loser???!!!

jimin lets out a breath as soon as he steps out of the room

he has no idea what’s wrong with him today but for some reason he’s like extra jittery and he has no idea why

it probably has something to do with the three iced lattes he drank but aLso it doesn’t really help that for the last 20 minutes he’s been alone with you and it’s driving him crazy

you drive him crazy!!!

he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you

you’ve been grand jetéing all over his damn mind for the last two weeks!!

lately he’s just been finding it more than difficult to suppress and deny his feelings for you

like during the ten minute break in the middle of class he thinks it’s so sweet how excited you get when you pull your snacks out of your bag

the other day you brought in some cherries and you were making some of the girls crack up because you were trying to use the cherry juice to stain your lips for a make-shift lipstick but you were failing miserably

and then when you noticed he was watching you you immEdiately wiped your mouth with the back of your hand and ended up smearing cherry juice across your cheek and he had to try sO hard not to crack a smile at that

or when one of the girls asks you to help them out with a move you’re always so willing to help out

it’s pretty normal for jimin to give you guys about half an hour of class time to just get used to the routine and practice it on your own (and also this time gives him the chance to sit back and relax a little bit)

but he’s noticed that y/n the student is very different from y/n the teacher

“okay, 5-6-7-8- nope. no. try again. here we go, 5-6-7-up- okay, you need to get this timing right otherwise you’re going to be a beat behind for the entire routine.” you shake your head as you look at lisa in the mirror “are you paying attention? you go on the 8, you don’t go after the 8. i don’t know how many times i need to tell you that.”

“right, sorry…” lisa mutters as she gets back into first position and blows some hair out of her face

“don’t be sorry, just be ready.”

jimin’s eyes nearly pop out of his skull when he hears you say that because that’s what hE says to you guys all the time!!!

it’s adorable how you’ve been picking up on some of his techniques :’) the technique of being scary :’)

but also… he’s kind of very into y/n the teacher

miss y/n is hot

jimin immediately pinches his arm as soon as he thinks that before reminding himself to control himself

“alright, 5-6- ooh, wait, before we start- do you like my new leg warmers??” you ask excitedly before sticking one of your legs out and turning back towards lisa “strawberry patterned!!! strawberry!!!”

aaaand y/n the student is back

or the other day when you asked him for tips on a triple-pirouette because even though he taught that lesson a couple weeks back (ahem the day you sprained your ankle) you still haven’t been able to get the hang of it

it shouldn’t be that complicated!!! it’s literally just spinning on one foot so you don’t understand how you manage to fall off balance each time

anyways while he was walking you through the correct posture and all that he couldn’t help but notice the way that you were staring at yourself in the mirror

“neck straight and lengthened… eye-line is up.” jimin stands behind you but reaches around to tilt your chin up “and shoulders…”

there’s a little divot in between your brows and your tongue is poking out a little in between your lips and jimin doesn’t know how this is the first time he’s seen you make this face because you look like a little puppy and it’s adORABLE

damnit

every time he thinks he’s finally gotten control of his feelings for you you manage to reel him riGht back in

“mr. park?” jimin snaps out of it when you speak up and he blinks twice before looking at you in the mirror

“ah- sorry, what?”

“you… were saying something about shoulders?”

“shoulders! shoulders, yes.” jimin nods quickly and looks over your position “uh, shoulders down.”

jimin stares blankly into space as he waits for his order to be ready

he just doesn’t know what to do

he always knows what to do!

in fact, he prides himself on being able to handle anything that comes his way while remaining both level-headed and classy

but this

this is unknown territory

he’s a teacher, an authority figure, crushing on one of his students like a smitten little schoolboy and if he acts on his feelings, that could not only jeopardise his position at the school (and future positions at other schools) but also your enrolment at the school anD your relationship with your fellow peers (seulgi seems like the type to judge on the spot!!) aND!! your relationship with him!!

because what if he tells you he likes you and you feel forced to tell him that you like him too because he’s your teacher??

would that classify as him abusing his power???

maybe in another universe if he wasn’t your teacher, you guys could be together

age definitely isn’t a problem because he’s only 3 years older than you which really isn’t that large of a gap

he could freely take you out all over the city

he could hold your hand whenever he wanted and he could kiss you whenever he wanted

you guys could go on dinner dates and movie dates and ice cream dates and museum dates and aLL the dates

maybe one night he could drive you to the outskirts of the city and you guys could have a picnic by the river and he could rest his head on your lap while you threaded your fingers through his hair

he wouldn’t have a care in the world because all that matters to him is you

and he doesn’t know if your whole “i, y/n y/l/n, am 110% attracted to park jimin-“ speech was just for entertainment purposes or if there’s truth behind your words but god he hopes it’s the latter

but at the same time, he has to be realistic about this

even if you do like him back… he can’t do anything about it

because at the end of the day he’s still mr. park and you’re still miss y/l/n

yeah

maybe in another life… just not this one.

“order number 48!”

jimin squeezes his way to the front of the crowd to grab his take-out bag

suddenly he’s lost his appetite

chakkachakkachakkachakka

“hey, mr. park, i actually have something for y- nope, no, he said to call him jimin-“ you mutter to yourself as you scrub vigorously at the grime in between the floorboards

god it’s like the janitor doesn’t even trY to clean this place up

everything’s so dusty and icky!!

“well, jimin, the funny thing is i actually stayed behind to- why is it funny? it’s not funny. you’re not funny.” you grumble and reach up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as you continue to scrub with the worn-out toothbrush

these people really need to invest in some proper cleaning equipment

also you’re scrubbing so hard that your arm is going to pop out of its socket soon

and you’ve been on your hands and knees for the last ten minutes so every joint in general is starting to get a little sore

maybe you should take a brea-

“okay, i know you said you didn’t want anything, but i noticed that you didn’t bring a snack in with you today so you must be at least a little peckish.” you jump three feet into the air when the door suddenly swings open and you quickly get up off the ground

you can’t help but hiss a little in pain when your knee cracks

ouCh

if anything this is a sign that your body wasn’t made for cleaning the floor and you should stick to mirror polishing

“but i’m almost done scrubbing the-”

“i got you a grilled cheese sandwich and a cup of tomato soup.” jimin looks back at you as he peels his leather jacket off and tosses it on top of his bag

“ooH i love grilled cheese sandwiches-!“ your eyes widen in excitement but you quickly dial it back when the corner of jimin’s mouth twitches in a smile “i mean… thank you, jimin.”

he nods in acknowledgement as he pulls the boxes out of the paper bag “come and sit. i have a wet-wipe for you if you wanted to clean off a little.”

okay

this is not a big deal

you and jimin are just… sharing a meal which is NOT a big deal

you’re having dinner together!

…oh god you’re having dinner with jimin

is this a date?????

are you on a date with jimin????

okay now you’re just spiralling

how many times do you need to remind yourself to keep it cool???

you know what

this isn’t a date, because if it were a date, then there’d be like candles and everything for mood lighting and you wouldn’T be wearing leg warmers and your hands wouldn’t reek of chemical cleaner

and these bright fluorescent lights in the studio completely kills the whole romantic thing so you’re fine!

“what did you-“ just as you get settled on the ground, the fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling crackles and burns out “…huh.”

on the topic of lights

the weirdest thing about this studio is the vast array of lights hanging on the ceiling

because there are little spotlight bulbs lined up where the mirror is at the front of the room along with the back of the room which are warmer toned

on the ceilings are the classic tube fluorescent lights which obviously have a whiter tint to them

nighttime classes aren’t a huge thing so most of the time you guys don’t even use the lights because the suN is your source of light so you never really understood why the studio was designed this way

anyway, the point is - bright fluorescent lights certainly don’t scream romance but now that they’re dead and you’re left with the warm, golden glow of the spotlight bulbs,..,,. this feels more like a date than a simple shared meal

you swallow thickly

“christ… i bet the janitor didn’t change the lights like i asked him to.” jimin scoffs as he looks up at the ceiling

that guy never listens to him!!!

“actually, this happens a lot more than you think.” he sighs as he sets the boxes down on the ground

“oh?” you clear your throat as you pull your box towards you

“i usually stay for a couple more hours after you girls leave and this isn’t the first time the lights have died on me. at least the spotlight bulbs are working…”

“a little dim, but as long as we’re not fumbling around in the dark, right?” you snort as you pop the lid of the soup container off

almost immediately the smell of tangy tomato soup tickles your nostrils

yuMMy

“you’re right, it is a little dim… lucky for us, i actually keep candles in the cabinet.” jimin claps his hands together before swooping down to open up the cabinets

…yeah so what were you saying about this not being a date setting??

as jimin works on lighting the candles, yoU work on figuring out things to talk about to kill the mood

“you know, um, when i make grilled cheese sandwiches for myself at home, i actually use mayo instead of butter!” you clear your throat as jimin takes a seat after lighting the candles

“i’ve heard about that hack… but i do have to say it sounds a little nasty.” jimin raises a brow as he unwraps his own sandwich

“hey now… don’t knock it til ya try it!” you gasp in mock offence before tearing the sandwich in half and watching the cheese stretch out

god

what a beautiful sight

gooey cheese should be considered as one of the seven wonders of the world

“are you playing with your food?” jimin watches as you wind the stretched out cheese from one chunk of the sandwich around the other sandwich

“playing with your food makes it more fun to eat. that’s a scientific fact.” you break it off before bringing it up to your mouth for a bite

“oh yeah? says who?” jimin teases as feeds himself a spoonful of soup

you swallow your bite and shrug “says me!”

a couple seconds of silence ticks by in which the two of you continue to munch quietly and keep to yourselves

you hate silence

it makes you itChy for some reason

“how about we play a game?” after one whole minute of nothing but the sound of quiet chewing, you decide that soMething has to be said

“what kind of a game?” jimin sits up straighter as he polishes off the first half of his sandwich

“how about…”

you should have thought this through

okay

some kind of an icebreaker game

something safe

truth or dare sounds like it could wander into risky territory so maybe not that

“ooh! two truths and a lie - ballet edition.”

“ballet edition? how would that work?” jimin hums as he picks up the other half of his sandwich

you feel your heart hiccup as he tears it in half and stretches the cheese out

he’s copying u :’)

“lemme think…” you wipe some of the grease on your fingers off on a napkin before leaning back on your palms “okay. my favourite move is the grand jeté, my favourite performance was the nutcracker, and my favourite warm-up exercise is the butterfly stretch.”

jimin thinks to himself as he chews slowly

you smile a little as you pick up your sandwich and take a bite

“your favourite move is not the grand jeté. the other day when i said that i’d be incorporating it into our next routine, i swear i could see the light die in your eyes.” jimin snorts before dusting the crumbs off his hand “that was too easy.”

“can you blame me?? i’m not trying to sprain my ankle again!” you pout as you reach down to brush your fingers over your ankle (that has fully recovered, thank goD) “fine, you give it a try then!”

“so it can be about anything related to ballet?”

“anything at all.”

anything related to ballet

ooh he can talk about his education!!

“alright, let’s see.” jimin wipes his mouth with a napkin, “i graduated at the top of my class… i was the youngest student in my class… and… i am not drowning in student debt.”

“…jimin, the game is called two truths and a lie, not three brags and a nothing.”

“well- there are two truths and a lie!! i’m still playing by the rules!!”

“okay, fine - obviously you’re still drowning in student debt. everyone is!!” you scoff as you pop a piece of crust into your mouth

“ah-“ jimin holds a finger up before wagging it at you “that one’s actually true. i’m not drowning in debt because my education was paid for by the scholarship i was awarded- say, this game is fun! your turn!!”

you can’t help but roll your eyes “again, this isn’t three brags and a noth- hEY-“

you squawK in surprise when jimin suddenly throws a crumpled up napkin ball at you

“don’t roll your eyes at me, miss y/l/n…” he teases before threatening to throw another one “go!! your turn!!”

“alright, alright… let me try to think of something to brag about too!”

the two of you spend the next half an hour or so playing the game while finishing up dinner

at one point you nearly wipe your greasy fingers on your skirt and jimin swats your hand away before telling you that if you walked into his class with a dirty uniform on he would definitely kill you

“okay, give me one last one before we clean up and get back to… well, cleaning up.” jimin pops the lid back onto the empty cup and sets it aside

also you’re going to need to ask him where he bought dinner from because the grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup was actually incredible

“fine, but you have to promise not to get mad or anything- that one time i forgot to bring my pointe shoes was definitely on purpose… we have a nickname for you that i can’t say because the others would kill me for it… ooh, and here’s a good one-“ you snort as you perk up in excitement “all of the girls in class have fallen deeply in love with you after you gave everyone roses on valentine’s day.”

the smile falters on jimin’s face

…

uh oh

maybe that one was a little over the line

you forgetting your pointe shoes was an accident!!! you were in a rush and you forgot to pack them

“…”

your lips part to say something but then it hits you

‘all of the girls’ also includes yourseLF you idiot

‘all of the girls have fallen deeply in love with you’

wow

you are incredible

well you might as well go ahead and throw yourself at him too while you’re at it!!

“all of them, you say?”

if that one’s a truth then he hopes you really do mean all of the girls in class

“y’know, uh, speaking of those roses-“ your voice cracks and you feel your face heat up a little before you scramble up off the ground “i actually wanted to say thank you for the valentine’s day gifts you gave us which was why i hung back after class in the first place-”

“oh?” jimin perks up in interest as he crumples up his napkin and tosses it into the paper bag

he can’t help but smile fondly as he watches you fumble through your bag with your tongue poking out

there it is again!!!!

little puppy :-(

god

you make everything so cute

“yeah! i felt a little bad that you didn’t get anything and that… you know, you had to spend valentine’s day with us…” you pull the presents out and a small frown tugs at your lips when you realise the wrapping paper is a little smooshed

oh well

it’s the thought that counts

and hopefully these presents will get his mind off of what u just said lol

“ah, that’s very nice of you, but you really didn’t have to get me anything…” jimin feels his own cheeks flush a little when you sit down across from him and your knee nudges against his own

“don’t be silly… you didn’t have to get us anything, but you did! and i thought that was very sweet of you.” you smile at him as you hand the presents over

okay WOW you might as well have tiny cartoon hearts floating around your head

reel it iN

“well, i’m glad you liked your rose.” jimin hums as he carefully tears the wrapping paper

you did a very neat job at wrapping his gift so he’s not just going to tear into it like an animaL

jimin’s eyes light up in excitement when he sees what the first present is

ooh!!!!!!!

metal straws!!!!!!

“they’re for those iced lattes you drink all the time!” you grin giddily as you look at his face to gauge his reaction

from the looks of it he seems like he’s a fan and hopefully he’s no longer thinking about your weird confessioN

“ah! i love these! you know, i was thinking about buying them but i keep forgetting, so this is great!”

he’s going to use these metal straws all the time!!!!

he loves them!!!!

save the turtles!!!!!

he’s feeling very trendy now

“also, i chose blue because it matches your hair.” your eyes flicker towards his pale blue strands and jimin unconsciously reaches up to run his fingers through his hair

“you noticed my blue hair? damn, i was trying to be subtle about it…” jimin jokes before moving on to the next gift

“did mr. park just crack a joke?” you gasp mockingly and jimin can’t help but roll his eyes playfully

“mean mr. park does have a sense of humour, you know-“

“for a while there i was seriously considering the theory of you being an android-“

“now look who’s being mean!!”

it’s weird that this is really the only time you’ve had a conversation with jimin outside of class

and it’s even weirder than he’s basically an entirely different person outside of class

with that being said

on monday when he reverts back to mr. park he’s most definitely going to still have the ability to make you pee yourself

as he begins to tear the second gift open you speak up again

“i noticed that the journal you used to take notes and stuff looked a little tattered, so i thought maybe it’d be nice for you to have a new one! obviously you don’t have to use it if you don’t like it, but i just thought that… yeah.”

it’s a handmade brown leather bound journal with his initials pressed (and painted gold!!) on the front cover

truth be told you were a little wary about this gift because it felt oddly… intimate? personal?

it just feels more like a gift you’d give to your significant other rather than your teacher

like if you gave your professor an apple that’s normal but if you gave your professor a box of chocolate covered strawberries that’s a lil.,,.,. a lil out of line and more ‘i love you!’ than ‘i respect you!’

but before you could change your mind about it the person at the store had already finished pressing the letters in and she said no refunds so

oops

“oh, wow… this is beautiful, y/n…” jimin breathes out as he smooths his hand over the leather

although it’s fairly obvious he likes the gift you’re still vERY nervous for some reason

you catch yourself twisting your skirt in between your hands and you quickly let go and clasp your hands together on your lap

“so you… you like it?” you press your lips together and jimin snorts

“like it? i love it!” jimin gushes as he flips through the book “thank you very much, y/n. these were very thoughtful presents, i really appreciate it.” he hums contently before looking up at you with a warm smile

you feel your heart skip a beat at the little twinkle in his eyes

he,.,., is literally..,,. the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid your eyes upon.,,.

also the two of you have unconsciously been scooching closer to each other this entire time and your knees are basically pressed up against each others

you’re so focused on the fact that your heart is pounding in your chest that you don’t notice jimin’s gaze flicker to your lips for a brief second

god he wants to kiss you

after dinner you pulled out the strawberry-mint flavoured gum you’re always chewing on before class (you offered him a piece but he’d already pulled out his own plain ol’ spearmint gum for himself)

so he’d definitely taste strawberry if he kissed you

and he really likes strawberries

“also, i-“ you lean back quickly before letting out a nervous chuckle and getting up from the ground “i also wanted to take this chance to apologise for the… inappropriate comments i made a couple weeks back.”

“inappropriate comments?” jimin clears his throat and leans back a little as well

he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck

hOo

maybe he should turn the air conditioner on

it’s getting a little hot in here

he gets up off the ground before heading over to the front of the room where the switches are

“oh, right!” jimin flips the air con switch on and tugs at his collar a bit “you mean you telling the entire class that you’d like to sit on my-“

“tHAT waS-“ you interrupt jimin before he gets a chance to finish his sentence before clearing your throat loudly “see, the thing is, that was just seulgi getting under my skin- i’m sure you’ve noticed we have a best frenemies kind of situation going on-“

you roll your eyes as you start to polish the mirror again (because you’re getting nervous again and when u get nervous you nEED to do something with your hands) “basically some of the girls were talking about you and i stepped in to- y’know, make sure that they were keeping things respectful because you aRe our teacher-“

ok all this rant is doing is making you sound like a major teacher’s pet but pop off sis

“a-anyways, seulgi seemed to think that me defending you was because i had a crush on you, so then i kinda just said all that stuff to get her off my back, you know? does that make sense? i’m not sure if i’m making sense.” you babble on as you start wiping at one spot on the mirror a littLe too aggressively “and, you know, i would, um, under normal circumstances, i would nevEr ever ever disrespect my teachers like that and i just hope that you-“

jimin stops listening to your nervous babbling to flashback to that afternoon

‘i would 100% love to sit on park jimin’s face because i, y/n y/l/n, am 110% attracted to him.’

even the reminder of you saying that sends a shiver down his spine and sends blood rushing to multiple parts of his body

you know what

fuck it

he’s just going to go for it

he’s sat on this for far too long and if it doesn’t work out, he’s veRy good at acting like he doesn’t care about anything

so, either way, he’ll be totally fine!!!

…right??

“do you?” jimin cuts you off and you look at him in the mirror as he packs the gifts away in his bag

“do i- sorry, do i what?”

jimin zips his bag up loudly and you jump a little in surprise

“do you have a crush on me, y/n?”

your hand immediately freezes on the mirror and your grip tightens on the rag

all you can hear is the sound of the air con whirring above you and your heart beating in your ears

you-

did he just-

what are you supposed to-

is this really happening right now or are u having a fever dream

you force your hand to move but your movements make you seem more like a tin-man rather than a normal human being

“i-i don’t… i’m not sure i understand the, uh…” your heart seems to beat faster with every slow step jimin takes towards you “what exactly, um, what exactly do you mean by ‘crush’? b-because, y’know, crush… crush can be interpreted in… in a miLLion different ways, so…”

…

reaLLY??

thAt’s your response??

gee mr. park can you define crush for me???

can you use it in a sentence sir???

“okay, fine.” jimin purses his lips before tilting his head “are you attracted to me, miss y/l/n?” your hand freezes mid-wipe on the mirror with an obnoxious squeak the moment you realise jimin is standing directly behind you

if u thought that being referred to as miss y/l/n in class was intimidating

hOo boy

“a-attracted?”

this is making you want to catapult yourself into the middle of a busy intersection

“attracted. romantically…” jimin looks at you through the mirror and for some reason you’re unable to unlock gazes with him “sexually.”

“what-“ your voice cracks, “-makes you think that, mr. park?”

the corner of jimin’s mouth tugs up in a sly smirk

well now he definitely knows how you feel about him

this is where it gets fun

“well, i notice that you become very flushed whenever i’m close to you. the apples of your cheeks and the tips of your ears turn bright pink… kind of like how they are right now.” you can feel the heat radiating off of jimin’s body from how close he’s standing to you

you swallow thickly when he reaches up to pluck the rag out of your hand before tossing it aside

you’re completely frozen from head to toe but you manage to slowly drag your hand down from the mirror

“and don’t think i don’t notice the way you look at me when you think i’m not paying attention.” jimin hums and reaches around to tilt your chin upwards as his other hand rests on your waist “look at yourself, y/n.”

miraculously enough you manage to drag your gaze away from jimin to look at yourself in the mirror

oh boy

you are flushed

and your pupils are so blown out to the point where they’ve almost completely consumed your iris’

your chest rises and falls as you continue to take in shallow breaths

“i see the moony look in your eyes… and they get extra moony when i come to class wearing white button-ups.” jimin whispers in your ear and you feel every single hair on your body prickle to life “i see the way you bite your lip when i roll them up like this-“ jimin presses both palms up against the mirror next to your head and you swallow thickly at the sight of his almost obscenely attractive forearms caging you in

“and when you bend down to fix your shoes or adjust your leg warmers… you know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you?” jimin purrs and reaches down to tilt your chin up again

your back is pressed right up against his chest

“you’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are…”

o god

you feel like you can’t speak

your mouth is just dRY

also you don’t know whether you should be feeling humiliated or.,,.,. slightly turned on

is it possible to feel both at the same time??

“tell me you want this as much as i do.” jimin feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest but it’s waY too late to take everything back

your head is reeling and you’re honestly not sure how to respond

because on one hand this is finALLY happening and your dreams are literally coming true right before your eyes but on the other hand this is finally happening and usually when you fantasise about jimin you never let it get this far so you haven’t had the chance to plan out your next move

meanwhile, jimin has no idea what to think and has no idea how to interpret your silence

he waits for another ten seconds to go by before deciding to call it

time of death is 7:48pm

well

this was mortifying

and he’s probably going to lose his job now!

so that’s great!

“shit, i…” he lets his hands fall from the mirror before taking a couple steps back from you “god, i… i’m sorry, that was wildly inappropriate of me, i just thought- mmph!”

jimin stumbles back with wide eyes when you’re suddenly launcHing yourself at him and it doesn’t take long for him to start kissing you back

his arm snakes around your waist as he reaches up to cup your jaw

he was right

you do taste like strawberries

jimin feels a new kind of flame ignite within him when he hears a little whimper slip past your lips when he presses you up against the mirror

and yoU are just floating on cloud nine

jimin’s lips are so impossibly soft and pillowy and you feel like you could kiss him forever

jimin pulls away first to catch his breath and he can’t help but chuckle when you lean up to chase after his lips

“i’m not going anywhere, you know-“

“i know, but you’re a really good kisser-“ you breathe out as you nudge your nose against his

hOo

you could use a breather too

“i like you, y/n. i like you a lot.” jimin whispers and leans down to press his forehead against yours

you feel your heart soaring in your chest at his confession and if it’s even possible your cheeks get even pinker

“i like you too.”

and even though the two of you are currently encased in a warm bubble of love, one single question pops up in your minds at the same time:

what the hell am i going to do now?

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

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ofheroesandvillains · 5 years

Text

Reassurance - Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes/fem!reader

Words: 2.3k Warnings: Self-doubt? Request: Anonymous: Hey! Could you do a Police AU! Chubby!Bucky x Reader where a new member of the team makes Bucky uneasy bc he is conventionally attractive and seems to get along really well with his girlfriend?

Hey everyone! Sorry I’ve been MIA, Endgame wrecked me so I took a break from writing Marvel because I knew everything would just be ANGST haha! Hope you’re all well, and thank you to the lovely reader who requested this. Hope it’s alright!

(Gif not mine! - couldn’t find a chubby one, so frowny face it is!)

“Damn. Who’s that?”

“Who? Oh! Oh my god, it’s him!”

Detective Bucky Barnes rolled his eyes with an annoyed sigh. He wouldn’t say that he hated the new interns…but god, did he hate their constant chatter. Work talk? Fine, he could deal with some brainstorming sessions. But the constant string of gossip being broadcast beside him was getting real annoying.

He didn’t know what he’d done to ensure that they were seated directly beside him, but he was one ‘Oh my god, Shelley! That shirt is sooo cute!’ away from kicking down the door to Steve’s office and demanding their relocation…and it was only day three.

“He’s so hot…”

“Right? I’m so jealous. The things I’d do to him…”

Bucky grimaced, the grip around his pen tightening uncomfortably with every word.

A familiar laugh rang out and Bucky groaned. It was a laugh that he could -and always would- pick out in a crowd. He loved that laugh, and he’d been loving it for a very long time. This paperwork wasn’t going to finish itself, but how the hell was he supposed to focus on it now that he knew you’d stepped into the room?

His pale eyes flickered away from his paperwork no matter how much he told himself he needed to concentrate. Your relationship wasn’t meant to get in the way of work, but there it goes, he thought, doing exactly that. He felt all of the tension leave his shoulders at the sight of you. You had a glowing smile on your face, the kind that made his palms sweat before he’d mustered up the courage to ask you out the first time. He couldn’t hear what you were saying, but the memory of your voice in his head chased away the sound of gossip that had been grating on his last nerve for the past hour.

Against all odds, he felt a smile tug at his lips, threatening to beat his bad mood out of him. That was until he glanced over at who you were talking to. His smile fell. At least he knew who the interns were talking about now. Steve had assigned you your own newbie a few weeks ago and Bucky wouldn’t pretend that he approved of the match.

He was a good-looking guy, that much was true. Tall, dark, and handsome, that’s what your friend Natasha would have called him…and Bucky had never felt more self-conscious in his life.

The Adonis talking to his girl had muscle on top of muscle. He didn’t have that little bit of fat under his chin like Bucky did, and the outline of his abs could easily be seen through the skin-tight tee he was wearing. You kept your eyes strictly on the man’s face, and Bucky should have felt reassured, but all he could process at the moment was his own inadequacy.

Bucky looked down at his shirt, at the way his own stomach lightly strained against the buttons when he sat down. He was aware of the way his shirts were becoming tighter and tighter around his biceps than ever before - and not because he’d been working out.

Oh man…

Maybe he’d let himself go a little, but he hadn’t realised just how much until he saw you standing there next to Mr Crossfit across the room. Bucky frowned. You were smiling politely, with a laugh bursting out here and there, whenever he said something that was apparently funny.

Bucky frowned harder.

Standing there next to him, you looked…good.

You looked good together. He was everything a girl could ever want in a guy. Charming, funny, kind, and shaped like a damn statue. Worry churned in Bucky’s gut. What if he was interested in you? He sure seemed to enjoy spending time with you. How was Bucky supposed to compete with 6+ feet of tanned muscle, the likes of which he’d never had even when he was still in shape?

More importantly, how were you supposed to resist that? What if you were interested in him?

Everyone knew that Bucky only had eyes for you. You were his world and there was nothing more beautiful to him than seeing your face first thing in the morning. You’d been together for two years now, but you’d been friends a lot longer. It was his best friend, Steve (now Captain of the precinct) who originally told him about your ‘obvious’ feelings. Apparently, he was the only one who hadn’t noticed that you looked at him with the same awe and devotion he specifically reserved for you.

Fast forward two years and he was hiding a velvet box in his sock drawer, and carrying a few extra pounds around his waist. Now his worry was if you would accept the former if he had the latter.

Before his mind could slip further down the rabbit hole, a paper bag was gently placed on his desk.

“Hi, hon! Here, I got your favourite.”

You gave him that special smile you saved just for him, and even if he didn’t have a genuine one in him at the moment, he’d force a smile for you if it was the last thing he did. And he did, even if you’d always said that a forced smile is always worse than a frown. He eyed the paper bag and tried to ignore the addictive aroma that always made his mouth water. His stomach grumbled and he almost grimaced all over again when you both looked down at it.

“Thank you…” he said, crossing his arms on top of his desk in a poor attempt at hiding it from your view.

You frowned. He was curling in on himself, and never in the whole time you’d known him, had he looked so small. Detective Barnes was a confident guy. He was the most successful detective in the precinct, hell, in the whole of New York. He was a good-looking guy, and had the personality to match. But now…he looked scared, terrified even.

“Bucky, are you oka-“

He shot up from his seat, startling both you and the interns a desk over from him. He shot you an apologetic look.

“Sorry…I uh, I just…I gotta go to the bathroom real quick.”

He didn’t wait for a response, darting away from his desk and hating himself even more for the confusion he heard in your voice when you called after him.

The door to the men’s room collided against the wall with a loud bang, and Bucky marched over to the taps. He slapped some cold water onto his face and braced his hands on either side of the basin, his head bowed between them. Deep breaths. One, two, three…

The door to the men’s room squeaked open but Bucky paid it no mind.

“Um…sir?”

Bucky’s head shot up and he looked at the intruder with wide eyes.

It was him.

Bucky felt jealousy rear its ugly head.

“What?” His voice was raspy, and he cleared his throat when Adonis flinched. He was a lot younger than Bucky first thought.

“Sorry…” Bucky gave him a small half-hearted smile.

He smiled back.

“No problem, sir.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and Bucky almost gaped. He didn’t know that Adonis even knew what nerves were. “I uh, I was just talking to your wife…”

Bucky didn’t correct him, feeling a swell of pride replace his envy. Yes, mine. My wife.

“She’s been a huge help, really, I get a little anxious sometimes and she’s helped me keep a level head, you know?” He was rambling now, and Bucky’s eyes softened. He looked like a nervous little kid in a gigantic body.

“I’ve been trying to kinda get myself to talk to you for a little while now, but I guess I was worried about what you’d say.” He heaved a deep breath and for the first time since they’d met, Bucky shot him a genuine smile.

“I know you’ll have a spot available on your squad soon, and well, I just wanted you know that it’s been a dream of mine to be mentored by you…unless- unless you already have someone.” He added, wide eyed.

Bucky’s brows shot up in surprise. Of all the things he’d expected him to say, that hadn’t even come close to the list. This guy…he looked up to him?

“Oh, wow…uh, no. I don’t have anyone in mind.” Bucky chuckled at the spark of hope in the kid’s eyes.

“Tell you what, why don’t you get my details from my wife and we’ll schedule a meeting at, uh…at a better time.” Bucky gestured to the bathroom and they shared a laugh.

“Yeah- yes, no problem!” Adonis nodded. “I hope you feel better soon, sir!”

He shot Bucky one last grin before he left.

Bucky sighed and looked at his reflection in the mirror. In a way, he was grateful. The kid had been a distraction he didn’t know he’d needed.

“Nuh-uh, nope. I don’t think so!”

Bucky winced at the determination in your tone and he knew there was no way he was getting out of this one. Your hand grasped his elbow as soon as he left the bathroom and you dragged him into the empty break room. He’d almost forgotten about how he left you at his desk.

“Sit.” You pointed at the couch.

He did, and you sat beside him.

“Now, what’s going on?” You gnawed at your bottom lip in worry, turning to face him.

Bucky didn’t meet your eye, his mind once again trudging up all of the doubts he’d tried and failed to bury in the bathroom. God, why did he have to care about this? Why did anyone have to care about what they looked like? He got you all worked up and worried for what? His own insecurity?

“It- It doesn’t matter. It’s stupid.” He shook his head.

“Hey,” you frowned, “it’s not stupid and if it matters to you then it matters to me.”

“Come on, Buck…talk to me.” You pleaded.

His shoulders slumped in defeat. He couldn’t leave it like this. You’d be confused, your confusion would lead to sadness, and sadness was not something he liked seeing you wear.

“Do you think I’m fat?”

You blinked. That was…not what you’d expected. With the panic you’d seen on his face earlier, you’d feared that someone was sending death threats to him again or something.

“What?” You shook your head.

“I just, I see you and Adonis over there,” he jerked his head in your intern’s direction, “and he looks…well, he looks a hell of a lot better than I do.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the nickname, but it came to a quick halt the moment you noticed a small frown on his face as he eyed your intern. This really bothered him.

“Babe, look at me.” You didn’t give him much of a choice anyway, with your hand cupping his cheek.

Your heart broke at the insecurity you could see in his sad eyes.

“I love you,” you couldn’t stress it enough, “more than anything, and I’ve loved you for a long time.”

“I didn’t fall for your abs, or your biceps, or whatever it is you think makes him desirable,” you shook your head with a quiet scoff. There was a slight shift in his expression, nearly imperceptible if you didn’t know him, but you did. It was a small spark of hope that flickered over his face, a trace of that old confidence that you’d build up brick by stubborn brick if you needed to.

Your thumb gently trailed back and forth along his stubbled jaw and his lips twitched upwards.

“I fell for that smile,” you pressed a slow kiss to his lips, before pulling away and trailing your fingertips across his cheek “and these eyes…”

The reverence and warmth they held whenever he looked at you was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. Even now, when he was hurting and uncertain, he’d show you nothing but love.

“And that heart of gold you like to pretend you don’t have,” you teased with a wide grin, pleased to see that he was trying to fight back a smile at the sight. His hand gave your hip a light squeeze, a half-hearted and silent ‘behave’.

“But mostly,” your cheeky grin fell into something more genuine, something he couldn’t question or doubt, “I fell in love with your love.”

“Hm?” His brows furrowed.

“Do you love me, Bucky?”

“More than anything.” His answer was instant.

“I know, you show me every single day.” That’s exactly the point.

“There is no better feeling in the world than knowing you are loved and appreciated,” your smile fell, “and obviously I haven’t been doing a very good job of making you see that if you have these doubts…”

His eyes widened.

“No! That’s not…you’re- you’re perfect,” this time his hands were cupping your face, “I don’t doubt that you love me, I know you do…I just,” he sighed.

“I just thought that maybe you could do better,” he avoided your shocked gaze, “maybe I’m holding you back.”

Your hands came up to give his wrists a reassuring squeeze.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be, and no one I’d rather have. I’m yours, for as long as you’ll have me.”

His heart swelled in his chest and he took a deep shuddering breath. He really needed to hear that. He already knew it, but he needed to hear it.

“I love you.”

He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before pulling you into his arms.

You smiled, “I love you, too.”

I felt like this was really rushed but I hope you liked it either way! Thanks for reading! xx

#bucky #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel #bucky barnes fanfiction #chubby!bucky #police au

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